text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic | true |
7 ways to live (and work!) like you're always on vacation | false |
Trump pardon of joe arpaio would be a ‘bull horn’ calling all racists, critics say | false |
What does an impatient cow say? mooove the fuck out my way | true |
I like my women like i like my toasters... two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen. | true |
Why is it warmer near the corners of a room? cause they're at 90 degrees. | true |
Miranda kerr rumors debunked: not fired, just 'can't commit' to an angel contract | false |
Nyse euronext sued by new jersey pension fund over sale to ice | false |
What do you call a diseased duck? a mallardy. | true |
Why was barbie never pregnant? because ken came in another box. | true |
Why are seals such homebodies? because clubbing isn't any fun. | true |
If you gave captain crunch a blowjob, would the roof of your mouth get all scratched up? | true |
Somebody in here smells really good. i will hunt you down. i will sniff you. | true |
First somali-american lawmaker threatened and called 'isis' by racist cab driver | false |
Ex message: 18 things you wish you could say to your ex | false |
Phipps new center for sustainable landscapes is one of world's greenest buildings (video) | false |
All of my best ideas involve jail time. | true |
Darth vader once baked some cookies... but it was a little on the dark side. | true |
Your muslim and sikh neighbors need you now more than ever | false |
Trump turned away intel briefings but spread a rumor made popular by one guy on twitter | false |
Only when we don't have to pay extra for guacamole will we truly be free | true |
What do you call a zoo with only giraffes? giraffic park!!!!!!! hahhhahaahhahaa | true |
How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house? he's still there. | true |
Apple developing new iphones with bigger screens, enhanced sensors | false |
Why shouldn't you argue with a 90 degree angle? it's always right. | true |
One bold statement coat for fall is the most versatile item you could buy (photos) | false |
Jazz jennings has a message – and a mission | false |
Want to boycott trump's businesses? now there's an app for that | false |
I broke up with my girlfriend because i'm pretty religious i'm a presbyterian, and she was satan | true |
The lessons one woman learned from her sister with a rare disease | false |
See if your next-door neighbor is a toxic dump | false |
So what if i can t spell armageddan it s not the end of the world. | true |
We're having a lawnmower sale down at lowes buy one get juan free! | true |
10 brands rapidly losing value: 24/7 wall st. | false |
Why are cows so horny? cause they're always in the moo'd! | true |
What is the difference between an olympic runner and hitler? an olympic runner can finish a race. | true |
Your tombstone should be carved in comic sans. | true |
Police chief busted for parking on sidewalk does the honorable thing | false |
It's just so crazy to think that kids born in 14 will be turning 2000 this year | true |
My girlfriend would never propose to me. she doesn't have the balls. | true |
What is a terrorist's favorite wine? white infidel. | true |
Why was noah such a compelling character? he had a good ark. | true |
In response to putin's new cold war, the west must be warm to the russian people | false |
Q: what do you call a can opener that doesn't work? a: a can't opener. | true |
14 hopeful tweets from african americans in the wake of trump's win | false |
So, i was looking around for some vacuum... | true |
These cauliflower cake recipes will blow your mind | false |
I thought i ran away from the tomatoes i really didn't think they would ketchup. | true |
What did the mexican detective say in england? i'm like sherlock, holmes. | true |
I hear paris is the bomb this time of year people are just dying to be there | true |
Three reasons why it's so obvious you work in a hospital | false |
Seth horvitz, d.c. man, orders television online, gets high-powered assault rifle delivered | false |
These affectionate doggie pals will make you wanna hug your bff | false |
What did gorbachev say when the ussr collapsed? so ve it. | true |
How long does it take to sail from dorne to mereen? it varys. | true |
Live: cavs look to even series with warriors | false |
Ryan balletto, patrick pearmain allegedly kept 15-year-old girl as sex slave on marijuana farm | false |
Why men should consider an integrative approach to prostate cancer (part ii) | false |
Conan o'brien marriage: comedian says he knew his wife was 'the one' instantly (video) | false |
Video: carol dweck on the power of 'yet' | false |
Me: what was that? 4-year-old: nothing. me: 4: me: ok. parenting is easier than it looks. | true |
Two traditional languages evade extinction with the internet | false |
Wisconsin governor backs down on food stamp drug tests | false |
What do you call a fish with no eyes? ....a fssshhh... | true |
'why i'm moving to ecuador to pursue the american dream' | false |
How long does it take for a woman to reach orgasm? who cares? | true |
Comedians live tweet the golden globes with witstream (updates) | false |
Oregon man refuses to pay taxes based on religious beliefs about abortion | false |
How would you describe the a.i. for a robotic dog? a bitch to program. | true |
I hate the lack of entertainment on westjet flights it's driving me bored-air-line crazy | true |
Knock knock. who's there? allah. allah who? allahu ackbar!!!! | true |
Whats the most confusing day in harlem? father's day. | true |
Trump finds it harder to recruit talent as scandals pile up | false |
Knock knock (palestinian version)... ...who's there? - ya - ya who? - yahudi! | true |
What did the fish say when he accidentally swam into a wall? oh dam | true |
6 mind hacks that keep stress in check (really!) | false |
The best female surfers to follow on instagram | false |
Pin this -- pinterest releases android and ipad apps | false |
These polyamorous people want you to know what their lives are really like | false |
You can't spell anal rash without sarah palin. | true |
What did the body builder say when he ran out of protein powder mix? no whey. | true |
What is the safest place in the galaxy? in the direct line of fire of a storm trooper. | true |
What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita? uppsala | true |
Jimmy fallon's thank you notes for olympic hurdles, phone books & more (video) | false |
The nra is in denial about the slowdown in gun sales | false |
Why do programmers always mix up halloween and christmas? because oct 31 is dec 25 | true |
Sen. tom cotton thinks 'tough guy' trump is ready to resume waterboarding | false |
What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo? about halfway across. | true |
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? of course, a house doesn't jump at all | true |
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? | true |
Nothing says i've made poor life decisions like a couch in your front yard. | true |
12 signs you might have leprosy - number 8 is jaw-dropping! | true |
Why there is no readhead in hell ? god does not punish twice. | true |
You're her boyfriend?! that's cool! i'm her manfriend! | true |
Why was tigger looking down the toilet? because he was looking for pooh! www.onebadjoke.com | true |
Why can't you be more like my iphone - new thing i scream at my kids | true |
Donald trump invokes 'pervert' anthony weiner in ad attacking hillary clinton | false |
19 signs you need to unplug from your smartphone | false |
My baby with down syndrome: finding beauty in the unexpected | false |
A trump plan to nationalize coal plants could be a surprise gift to climate hawks | false |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.