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My girl told me to stop singing 'wonderwall.' i said maybe
true
The princess problem: dads discuss how their daughters are affected by disney (video)
false
In australia your best friend and your worst enemy are both called a.. cunt
true
Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? a bomb vest does something when triggered.
true
What does a mexican get when he slides down a hill? gracias
true
Why couldn't the blind man go skydiving? it would of scared the shit out of the dog.
true
Hospitals fail to take simple measures to prevent clostridium difficile infection, survey says
false
Every trip to the supermarket is a game of dodge the indecisive old people with my cart.
true
Someone called the cops on jerry seinfeld over a lemonade stand
false
Russell simmons steps down from his businesses after new sexual assault claim
false
Why did the scarecrow win an award? he was outstanding in his field.
true
If donald trump's staff were spokespeople for other historic events
false
Watch: teens recreate madonna's iconic mtv vma 'vogue' performance
false
I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward.
true
I'm starting a self-serve fork business. it's called go fork yourself.
true
If you ever get attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the juggler.
true
The duty to disobey a nuclear launch order
false
My grandmother's stories always include the race of everyone involved
true
'goosebumps' scares away competition at the box office
false
Cities must get creative in the fight against air pollution
false
Voters find hillary clinton less trustworthy after email scandal
false
When i think about you, i touch myself. in the face. with my fist.
true
Why does manny pacquiao hate spring so much? because of may weather.
true
Why were all the computers in the company frozen? because they let it go
true
What's the good word? legs. spread the word!
true
If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with i shouldn't be telling you this
true
What do you call 10 rabbits marching backwards? a receding hareline.
true
The brexit situation britain: down with the eu! *next day* britain: i meant i'm down with the eu.
true
Relax. it's not a competition. right. that's what i say. but i said it first.
true
How defamation laws in australia could stop an all-out ‘weinstein moment’
false
What do you call a group of ocelot? an awful-lot.
true
I have just read an interesting dictionary. it had literally no metaphors. i'll ^show^myself^out...
true
I saw a dog taking a dump and i totally thought of you.
true
What do you call a psychic, escape convict who is also a dwarf? a small medium at large.
true
He died doing what he loved: telling me i'm overreacting.
true
Mexican mayor weds crocodile to bring good luck to village
false
'milk in my sippy cup': pint-sized kid stars in adorable rap video
false
When people tell me i'm intimidating, i generally just glare at them until they take it back.
true
What kind of house does cheese like to live in? a cottage
true
Why did the fox cross the road? it was chassing after the chicken!
true
First ladies in china: jackie kennedy's kidnapping to lou hoover's gun
false
10 things you need to do before you turn 60
false
This cop is seattle’s first openly transgender officer
false
Why should everyone vote for hillary clinton? because bill said she doesn't suck
true
Huffpollster: hillary clinton is within striking distance of donald trump in georgia
false
What can be served but not eaten? a tennis ball.
true
Big early vote in georgia runoff heightens expectations in campaign's final days
false
I assume the burning bush was the bible's first recorded std.
true
A termite walks into a club. 'is the bar tender here?'
true
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? so that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.
true
Kristin bauer van straten, 'true blood' star, on not being as glamorous as pam (photos)
false
What's black, blue, and red all over? the grudge at a rave.
true
Kellyanne conway defends trump's 'tremendous moral standards' after roy moore endorsement
false
How do you circumcise a redneck? you kick his sister in the back of the head.
true
What i do all day when i am home with the baby
false
I'm forty years old and my parents are divorcing!
false
Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? because it was a wrecked tangle
true
Two men walked into a bar you'd think at least one of them would've ducked.
true
Don't drake and drive or you'll end up at your ex's house.
true
I read everything in comic sans sans. this way it's funny.
true
Ah, water. giver of life. destroyer of witches. improver of tee shirt contests.
true
'real men get raped' campaign comes to london tube stations
false
For hard-liners, even the trump epa isn't doing enough to undermine climate science
false
I wore my golf socks today there's a hole in one
true
My dick is like an anchor... if it extends, i'm not going anywhere until it retracts.
true
I love people who order coffee like they're giving the pass code to a missile defense system.
true
What do you call a will? a dead giveaway
true
Don’t let its new policy fool you. morgan stanley is a huge coal bank.
false
What is an emo's favorite note? g ...get it? edit:im not saying the reference
true
What do you call a milf barista? joe mama
true
Donald trump promises he'll 'work something out' on health care
false
Are painters' 'reference photographs' a form of cheating?
false
It met a girl with 12 nipples. sounds funny, dozen tit?
true
Break out that library card because beyoncé has a book recommendation
false
10 genius style tricks to revamp a denim shirt
false
Awesome dad builds 50-meter crazy straw for his daughter's birthday
false
The halloween costume that's already in your closet
false
Sarah palin defends curt schilling: 'espn continues to screw up'
false
Trump weighs in as costly congressional race heads for a tight finish
false
Where do hipsters buy their clothes? most likely a thrift store or urban outfitters, tbh.
true
Islamist and western populism have more in common than you think
false
A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable i said not nessacelery
true
Gwyneth paltrow opens up on chris martin split, says she 'hit a wall'
false
Knock knock who's there ? closure ! closure who ? closure mouth when you eat !
true
Target sports, michigan gun store, agrees to stop selling targets wearing muslim garb (photo)
false
U want to hear a great joke? a great joke but you have to speak it out yourself.
true
10 things i wish someone had told me before my wedding day
false
Hell yeah i want your website to play music without warning or a mute button!
true
Best pick up line in a gay bar? may i push your stool in?
true
Mizzou administrator who tried to block journalist put on leave
false
The cultural evolution of art and the net
false
This gay couple shows how love can overcome bigotry
false
Bill clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker is ahead 12 points in the polls.
true
I forgot where i threw my boomerang. oh wait.. it's coming back to me now.
true
Betsy devos to deliver commencement speech at historically black university
false
I like my women the way i like my cake... moist.
true
Couples tattoos: denver women get joint ink to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary (photos)
false
Babies 'fake' cry for attention, but it's not a bad thing
false
Remember how white people rioted after oj simpson's acquittal? me neither.
true
Why being called ‘a wanderer’ is a total compliment
false