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I dont think anyone flushed the toilet because i dont need to hear all of your shit
true
Trevor noah goes all godzilla on donald trump's visit to japan
false
So i looked up jewish porn the other day... but all i found was ash to mouth.
true
What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes? i'm walkin' here!
true
Malaysia arrests north korean man as row over kim jong nam's death escalates
false
What's edward elric's favorite band? my alchemical romance
true
Mayweather still has a perfect record at least until he's convicted
true
Paul krugman: nsa surveillance state 'on the authoritarian side'
false
What does the horny scientist call a lobotomy? getting head
true
Why don't women parachute naked? cause they would whistle on the way down
true
A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday.
true
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
true
Sleep is the 'best thing you can do for yourself,' according to bethenny frankel
false
How much alcohol does it take to get a black person drunk? about three fifths.
true
Knock knock who's there ! acis ! acis who ? acis spades !
true
Fashion week live blog: the latest from day 4 of nyfw (live updates)
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You know what the worst part of vaping is? telling your parents you're gay.
true
Carrie underwood went skydiving and she's got epic photos to prove it
false
I made a new joke. i made a new word. plagiarism.
true
I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold ... ... ... and eaten..
true
What do you call 9 idiots who laugh at repetitive joke? 9gag
true
Why are you so gay? because you are happy.
true
Student sinks impossible shot to secure entire class 100s on organic chemistry quiz
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What do you call a graduated spider? a web designer
true
You're like milk, i want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.
true
American nbc news camerman in africa diagnosed with ebola
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Shell's berlin 'science slam' event reportedly disrupted by anti-drilling activists (video)
false
Marriage is an institution. so is the mental hospital.
true
A man walks into a bar... just kidding, he is actually sitting at home.
true
These icebox cake recipes are upping the dessert game
false
Conan is the super bowl mvp with this cam newton parody
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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? a brick gets laid.
true
Is it just me.... .... or were all the kids in the magic school bus show trippin balls.
true
What do you call a group of gay elephants? a parade.
true
What is in common between h.clinton and ronda rousey? they both won the popular vote
true
What's green and eats nuts? syphilis. btw. i know this is not a medially accurate joke
true
3 questions to awaken our capacity for life
false
The grown up version of tetris is loading a full dishwasher.
true
Wednesday's morning email: alabama goes for steve bannon's candidate
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There aren't many sports that couldn't be improved by adding a bear.
true
'falling fruit' map helps foragers find their next free meal
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Why does waldo wear stripes? because he doesn't want to be spotted!
true
If a cop tazed me and then yelled raiden wins!... i would instantly lose all animosity towards him.
true
What do you call a poop that went to med school? dookie howser
true
Woman wants to find boy who left $5 and apology note on door
false
Just did my holiday shopping. i've got so many shorts now; i'm swimming in them!
true
7 quirky ways to find inspiration on a deadline
false
Carli lloyd dominates in world cup final against japan
false
What do you call a zoo with only one dog in it? a shitzoo.
true
So a blind man walked into a bar.. it really hurt
true
Why doesn't the gastroenterologist have any friends? he's always talking shit.
true
Theater: 'wolf hall' thrills (a little), 'skylight' shines
false
Doctor doctor i think i'm an electric eel that's shocking!
true
Did you hear about bill cosby's latest victim? she was found 6 pills under
true
I heard somewhere that wanking with a dead arm feels better... totally ruined that funeral.
true
Jimmy fallon & the roots perform 'we will rock you' at macy's thanksgiving day parade (video)
false
Oregon woman possibly with ebola hospitalized after developing fever
false
Hailey dunn update: remains found aren't missing texas cheerleader
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What dance do hippies hate? a square dance.
true
The most delicious (and grossest) hangover remedies, ranked
false
Israel moves to shut down local operations of al jazeera
false
A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap. aloe akbar.
true
How did the hipster burn his tounge? he bit into his flat bread before it was cool!
true
Five ways our need to fit in controls us
false
Trump's not just ruining the planet. he's losing the goodwill of our biggest allies.
false
Quitting smoking was the easiest thing i've ever done... i've done it hundreds of times.
true
Donald trump has banned shredded cheese. he's going to make america grate again.
true
Which u.s. destination is the ultimate summer vacation spot?
false
What kind of underwear does severus snape wear? always.
true
Alabama deserves to have its voice heard on the tax bill
false
My psychiatrist says i have delusions of sexual superiority she just wants to fuck me.
true
Report: big cuts to medicaid coming in trump budget this week
false
What happens to an irritable person on a meditation retreat?
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What do you call a weak cup of tea? subtlety.
true
Your water broke? do i look like an idiot? you can't break water...get back to work.
true
Ask yourself these 7 questions before retiring overseas
false
Jon stewart says donald trump can't be president because he's a 'man-baby'
false
What did pink floyd say to jerry sandusky? hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
true
Trump said he's 'not surprised' democratic leaders bailed on meeting
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Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium are dating? omg
true
Black friday shoppers 2012: best buy shoppers line up early in california
false
Romeo and juliet.doc is a play on word
true
'me-ality' machine helps shoppers find jeans that fit perfectly
false
Sleep-deprived teens are up to 3 times more likely to drive drunk
false
Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge? because he didn't truss it.
true
Muslim refugees can still enter the us. here's how to help them
false
10 guys who made us realize we're gay, '80s edition
false
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? he nuts and bolts.
true
How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? just one.
true
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? a dicktator!
true
The mods removed the previous joke that summited about my penis. it was improperly tagged as long.
true
I wish i was like my coffee. rich and strong.
true
I don't like piggy banks.. i'm afraid of change!
true
Gop worries rise amid hostile trump comments on latinos and muslims
false
Fired, burnished and glazed: clay: poems by david groff
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Um...so do you want to come to my exorcism next week?
true
Buzzfeed sells out of 'garbage' swag a day after trump's insult
false
Paul pierce learns rajon rondo tore acl during interview, is not pleased (video)
false
Roger ailes accused of sexism in the workplace? the record is long.
false
I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom. you know, to make it more classy.
true