text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Who knew my kid could read so much into a cookie? | false |
*poops blood* what the heck i haven't eaten blood in weeks | true |
4 worthless exercises you probably do (and expert-approved replacements) | false |
Are you getting older and wiser? no he's getting older and wider! | true |
Fun trick: swap guacamole with wasabi, then watch. | true |
My asian friend bought a dog today! guess how much they got it for? $5.50 per pound. | true |
Rand paul: hillary clinton should call for a boycott of saudi arabia | false |
Watch night turns 150: 8 new year's eve celebrations around the world (photos) | false |
Money can't buy happiness... poverty can't buy *anything* | true |
Til billy mays served in the us military it wasn't for long though it was only 1999. | true |
Two deer hunters walk into a bar. the third one, ducks. | true |
Whats big and white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? a fridge. | true |
What is better than roses on a piano? tulips on an organ. | true |
Donald trump keeps lying about new jersey 9/11 celebrations | false |
Ashton kutcher opens sag awards by calling out trump's immigration ban | false |
If an entire garden was variegated... would it take longer to get in to? | true |
Judge sides with planned parenthood over mississippi abortion law | false |
George wallace's 'arsenio hall' appearance shows why he's a legend | false |
Q: why was the firewood punished? a: it was knotty. | true |
Lisbon's santo antonio festival marks the eruption of summer | false |
That shitty moment when you finally get comfy in bed then realize the lights are on. | true |
What do you call a person who supports abortion yet believes it's murder? a psychopath. | true |
My friend is selling me some old french guns... thieve never been used but they were dropped once. | true |
Brazil is engulfed by ruling class corruption — and a dangerous subversion of democracy | false |
Congrats to #leonardodicaprio on his first best actor oscar. you can stop sacrificing goats now. | true |
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity. | true |
What do you call an all panda furry orgy? panda-moan-ium | true |
Russell brand divorce: 'incompatibility' led to split from katy perry | false |
'sabrina the teenage witch' movie takes us down late-'90s memory lane (photos) | false |
The senate health care bill is still not dead | false |
Q.why did the cookie go to the doctor? a. he was feeling crummy! | true |
5 reasons sweden is the best place in the world to grow old | false |
Should grandparents be expected to foot the bill for entertaining grandkids? | false |
Rogue cat rescued after hiding out in new york airport for over a week | false |
Craft of the day: make these quirky wooden letter magnets | false |
Yellow squash recipes, for when you're sick of zucchini | false |
What's the most common last words? allah hu akbar | true |
A new challenge to the hecm reverse mortgage program | false |
What do witches eat at halloween ? spooketti halloweenies devils food cake and booberry pie ! | true |
Hologram woman will soon be helping guests at new york area airports | false |
Having a favorite politician is like a homeless guy having a favorite can. | true |
Virginia gop demands state attorney general's apology for mosque visit | false |
Irs tax audit: what actually happens when you're audited | false |
I have a terrible habit of telling people when i have to take a shit. heh, gotcha. | true |
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? because it was out standing in its field. | true |
Hip-hop cops stun competition audience with surprise b-boy routine | false |
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a bad joke? | true |
Pope francis shares some of his many sweet interactions with kids | false |
Many teen sex assault victims get subpar er care | false |
Me: i hate all of the trash jokes in this sub. friend: they're not trash, they're *recycle*. | true |
Tale of two primaries and how to uphold majority rule | false |
You know the difference between my birthday and a courtroom? my dad shows up at a courtroom. | true |
What kind of wood doesn't float? natalie wood | true |
Naming my daughter a relationship so i don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her. | true |
What needs to be done about the rising rate of advanced breast cancer in young women | false |
A list of things i do as a black reporter when a(nother) black person is shot by cops | false |
Put the punchline in the title. how do you ruin a good joke? | true |
Why did sally fall of the swing? she had no arms | true |
Patriots super bowl window closing (but perhaps not as fast as critics think) | false |
Woo-oo! 'ducktales' reboot drops debut date and new teaser | false |
What system do they teach in hamburger high's math courses? the meatric system silly! | true |
What does hulk say when he poops? ibm! | true |
How do you get pikachu on a bus? you pokemon! | true |
Today i went to a zoo who's only animal was a dog. it was a shih tzu. | true |
They say love is like a fart. if you have to force it, it's probably shit | true |
The hottest chick rang me up at the self checkout today! | true |
Brow how-to: 19 celebrities who inspire us (video) | false |
What's the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral? one guest | true |
Can we change our life by changing our story? | false |
Facebook is developing a camera app to rival snapchat: report | false |
Mayors could shift nearly 42 percent of u.s. electricity to renewables by 2035 | false |
The aftermath of legalizing gay marriage in south africa (yes, america, this will happen to you) | false |
What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page? it blew up | true |
What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140? convert to kilograms. | true |
Robert downey jr. posts sweetest message to wife for 10th anniversary | false |
Anxiety ruled this lawyer's life. until he tried meditation. | false |
I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... must have been mitoastis | true |
Michelle phan channels rihanna's bad girl look in makeup tutorial (video) | false |
Where did napoleon keep his armies? in his sleevies! | true |
Kylo ren boards the millennium falcon in a 'star wars: the force awakens' deleted scene | false |
Jimmy fallon proves he could be the next michael strahan with hilarious 'live' audition | false |
What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? where you put the cucumber.... | true |
Want to hear a joke about hillary clinton's emails? | true |
08 what did the 0 say to the 8? nice belt! | true |
The threat of a right-wing supreme court: analyzing trump's prospective justices | false |
We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. well played, black history month. well played. | true |
I am not racist ... my shadow is black. | true |
What did the hawaiian jihadist say? aloha akbar. | true |
I wrote a haiku poetry is hard like mr. jared fogle at a kid's party | true |
Why does levar burton not like to travel by airplane? he usually flies twice as high. | true |
Why did the director get kicked out of the bar? he was making a scene! | true |
Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon? because he cauterize. | true |
I need another name for a dinosaur. i should consult the thesaurus. | true |
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the atm. | true |
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they're hatching some kind of evil plan. | true |
Detroit public schools shut with teachers in 'sickout' protest over pay | false |
Yankees affiliate: timing of blue lives matter day an 'unfortunate coincidence' | false |
What do you call someone with a spice garden on gallifrey? a thyme lord. | true |
Ankle strap shoes can make your legs look longer... and here's proof (photos) | false |
Obama: 'shame on' corporations that blame obamacare for cutting wages | false |
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