text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Someone just gave me a cd rack, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994 | true |
City's drug violence forces buses to stop running at night | false |
Why is air like sex? because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. | true |
Why does waldo wear stripes? he doesn't want to be spotted! | true |
What do you call an old film composer? hans zimmer-frame | true |
Obama administration wants to welcome even more refugees next year | false |
Kentucky governor's crime plan: volunteer 'prayer patrols' roaming the streets | false |
Michael brown's parents testify at u.n.: 'we need the world to know' | false |
Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. | true |
Facebook ipo -- how wall street lost the retail investor, again | false |
The difference between my maine lobster and my main lobster is boiling water or a high five. | true |
I took my dog to the vet he never got dry again | true |
Why was 6 happy to see 7? because 7 ate 9. | true |
Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced. | true |
Why can't gay students ever have a 4.0 gpa? because they're not straight a students. | true |
Monkey was trapped between two buildings for 25 years | false |
If you could have a superpower, what would you pick? cold war russia | true |
Green roadmap; not silk road: kazakhstan's (renewed) role in world affairs | false |
What's the cutest part of a house? the awning. i know, i'm sorry. | true |
Q: what happens when a blonde gets alzheimers disease? a: her iq goes up! | true |
The accidental locavore's first king cake, a mardi gras tradition | false |
What does a dentist do in his free time? shoot lions. | true |
What do you call an irishman sitting on your veranda? patty o'furniture. | true |
Banana republic 'mad men' airplane show caught passengers by surprise (video) | false |
What's the difference between jelly and jam? you can't jelly your dick into a woman's ass | true |
Did you hear that robin got married? holy matrimony, batman! | true |
'paranormal activity: the marked ones' scares up no. 1 place on its first day in theaters | false |
Huffpost hill - america's dumbest swimmer heroically steals spotlight from war-ravaged child | false |
Hundreds of thousands of americans are stuck in 'the bail trap' | false |
Malala: education for refugee girls will help prevent child marriage | false |
Good governance requires dimon to end dual roles at j. p. morgan chase | false |
What did the amish it guy say about the computer? it was a bit buggy. | true |
Anti-vaxxers make me sick! or they would, if my parents were imbeciles | true |
Officer clashes with protester after freddie gray decision | false |
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? ten-tickles | true |
It's a shame that most things aren't pies. more things should be pies. | true |
Life's like my dick hard and too short | true |
Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. if you don't you're probably it. | true |
What do they call helium, neon, argon,krypton on the really cold planet? noble rocks | true |
Did you hear about the horny asian janitor? first he wax on, then he wax off! | true |
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. it was tense | true |
Dianne feinstein: iran deal does not threaten israel's survival | false |
Newt gingrich: steve bannon can't be anti-semitic because he worked in finance and hollywood | false |
How does hitler like his orange juice? freshly squeezed. | true |
I just read fahrenheit 451. that book is lit. | true |
Ioc president's call for transparency challenges middle eastern/asian political dominance of soccer | false |
Women in business: monique oxender, chief sustainability officer, keurig green mountain, inc. | false |
Wait, there's nothing in this air and space museum! | true |
The dangers in assuming women are the only people who menstruate | false |
Chill out. - spanish receptionist saying jill isn't in. | true |
Why was the girl at starbucks counting her coins in 3's? because white girls cant even | true |
Viva la diva! melba moore is back on stage | false |
Gap black friday sale 2012: deals on sweaters, denim and more (photos) | false |
Proof that single guys love planning their non-existent weddings too | false |
Publisher blames 'russians' for fake amazon listing of anti-trump book (update) | false |
What do vegetarians love to do during sex? toss some salad. | true |
Why did the chihuahua put on a jacket? because it was a chili dog! | true |
'south park' frantically rewrote last night's episode after trump's win | false |
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? the space bar. | true |
If you've seen me impatiently standing in line, then you've seen me dancing at a concert. | true |
My new year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so i look skinnier. | true |
Why are gays never late for hotel check out? because they get their shit packed the night before | true |
Travels without journey to the kennel club lax: green carpet service you can trust | false |
How this transgender political hopeful plans to capitalize on 'milestone' ruling | false |
When they buried the man who invented tetris... the whole cemetery disappeared. -gary delaney | true |
Why did adele cross the road? to say,hello from the other side! (ba dum tss) | true |
Sars-like virus: 6 new coronavirus cases confirmed in saudi arabia | false |
Sunday meal prep: get through the week with breakfast yogurt pops and more | false |
My rape taught me to fight for women's rights | false |
12 women who absolutely killed the sports game in 2015 | false |
Knock knock who's there ! carrie ! carrie who ? carrie a torch ! | true |
I'm sorry and i apologize are the same thing... unless it's at a funeral. | true |
It's snowing in florida and people are loving it | false |
How do real partners in crime jokingly introduce themselves to people? | true |
Why couldn't the grape help his friend move on saturday? because he was in a jam | true |
Why did two ferrets decide to meet? they were trying to start a business. | true |
Donald trump has parted ways with a shocking number of senior officials | false |
Single parents, it's ok to ask for help! | false |
Got any drugs or alcohol on you? yup, i'm all set. thanks officer | true |
How does steve bannon, trump's senior chief strategist feel after he gets over a cold? alt-right | true |
Why aren't jokes in base eight funny? because 7, 10, 11! | true |
Angela merkel says europe must take its fate into its own hands | false |
Tara dragon hernandez, vice principal, is surprised with flash mob for son with cancer | false |
What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic? llamanated | true |
Donald trump adds his two cents to oscars controversy | false |
A healthy leek soup recipe your kids will love (but not mine) | false |
Why 'fat shaming' ourselves doesn't lead to weight loss | false |
A leap of faiths: why i became a muslim in 2017 | false |
There was once a cat on mars but curiosity killed the cat | true |
What's the difference between a black man and an elevator? an elevator can raise a child. | true |
What is the best sub reddit to see once watching gods of egypt? /r/eyebleach. | true |
Forty miles of ice cream from watertown to kingston | false |
Are you reducing your bones while you lose weight? | false |
An alcohol-flavored sweets taste test, just in time for new year's eve | false |
Q: what lives in the sea and yells? a: a clam shouter. | true |
Woman takes down planned parenthood protesters with 'yeast infections' chant | false |
Sleep-disordered breathing and sleep apnea can affect pregnancy | false |
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? because they have big fingers. my favorite clean joke, by far. | true |
Have you ever eaten a salad, then had a chickpea on your face? | true |
Coldplay and r.e.m.'s peter buck perform touching tribute to tom petty | false |
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