text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Did you hear about taco bell's new sauce? it's picked-out daily south of the border. | true |
Did you hear about vivaldi's finances? he was one baroque mother fucker | true |
Why do liberal courts don't work? because they don't like to judge anyone. | true |
How acting like you're divorced could save your marriage | false |
Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide? | true |
I got an anonymous letter today. oh really - who was it from?! | true |
Q: what do call a fish with no eye? a: a fsh. | true |
Tiny home in hampton bays, ny costs almost as much as a larger house... anywhere else (photos) | false |
Why well-being is a skill that can be learned | false |
Women in business: claire telling, partner, grace blue | false |
Yes, bubble wrap is glamorous and we proved it | false |
After canceling panel on harassment, sxsw now considering day-long event | false |
Hate when the grammar police single me out like some kind of which hunt | true |
What do you call a pig thief? a hamburglar! | true |
Thanks to whoever invented the mute button, because i can poop while on a conference call. | true |
What do you call a promiscuous hippy? whore-ganic | true |
How rising seas could sink nuclear plants on the east coast | false |
I'm part indian my ancestors are from the slapahoe tribe. | true |
Me: keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. friends: no thanks. enemies: also no thanks. | true |
Why hasn't beetle bailey retired from the army yet? | true |
How do you get an indian girl pregnant? poppadom. | true |
White women suffered biggest drop in life expectancy in the u.s. | false |
I wanted to be a banker but then i lost interest. | true |
I'm white, but not tell people that life is beautiful white. | true |
You doing legs today? octopus: yeah my fourarms hurt. | true |
Black activists react to trump's inauguration: 'i feel betrayed' | false |
Patchouli why do hippies wear patchouli? so blind people can hate hippies too | true |
Joe biden: paul ryan 'is a good guy' | false |
Yo mama's so fat, even dora cannot explore her! | true |
My gps just did a shoulder shrug and said, uhm, take a left here? this can't be good. | true |
New sexual position: the canada. you climb on top and don't do much. | true |
What the hell is almond milk? almonds don't have titties | true |
This one should be called hurricane kanye - kanye, every few weeks | true |
An iowa teenager just shut down chuck grassley's supreme court argument | false |
Why i called 911 on my autistic son (and i’d do it again) | false |
I tried getting my girlfriend to do my taxes... but she really wasn't intuit. | true |
I shat on my girlfriends roof. i need to wipe the slate clean. | true |
What do cats eat in the summer? mice cream.. ba dum dum tsst! | true |
Why does mike tyson refuse to buy playstation ? because he is an x-boxer | true |
Martha stewart's weekend includes virgin marys, indian reservations, yellow pants (photos) | false |
What do you call a black dinosaur? a tyroneosaurus rex. | true |
Gay man makes history by marrying cop killed in terrorist attack | false |
Shrodingers cat walks in to a bar and doesn't. | true |
Never been to the blindfold shooting range? you don't know what you're missing. | true |
The snooze button: because your first act of the day should be procrastination. | true |
Why cannibals prefer to eat gay people? because they have good taste. | true |
What do you call someone that steals shoes? a sneaker. | true |
Helen keller walks into a bar... and a table. and some chairs. | true |
The craziest things models have had to do for fashion (photos, gifs) | false |
Aw man, who's going to agree to play frodo in the lord of the rings movies? elijah would. | true |
A black and a mexican are in a car.. who's driving? the police | true |
Colin powell has no plans to endorse or speak at either convention | false |
What are the inhabitants of crete called? cretins! | true |
I told a chinese guy that they always smell like chinese food. he said aw that's lo, mein. | true |
Three reasons why non-foreclosed people should care about the foreclosure crisis | false |
But, your honor... she told me she shaved it! | true |
Oh what a surprise. clean soles. it's almost as if you were carried everywhere. | true |
Start-up iceland: what americans can learn from viking entrepreneurs | false |
What do you call a nazi turkey? joseph gobbles. | true |
Want to hear a pizza joke? never mind it's too cheesy. | true |
Obesity linked with more health costs than smoking, study finds | false |
I may have alzheimer... ... but at least i don't have alzheimer. | true |
Good joke bug run up tree into butthole. | true |
Hillary clinton's supporters don't want her to shut up | false |
Brooke lynn domel, texas teacher accused of sex with student, formally fired by school board | false |
Brussels bomber was moroccan with no history of terrorism, official says | false |
Why did the console peasant cross the road? to render the other side. | true |
How does google clean their facilities? they use google mops. | true |
Florida airport shooting suspect esteban santiago appears in federal court | false |
Big checks power jeb bush super pac's unreal money haul | false |
*goes into fabric store looking for girlfriend material* | true |
Where do cows go for fun? to the moo-vies! | true |
How many cops does it take to push a black guy down the stairs? none, he 'fell'. | true |
I was wondering how the truck was getting so big... then it hit me. | true |
Mountain battles: music can save your life, even for just one night | false |
This state is taking the final step in legalizing recreational pot | false |
Country living appraises midcentury tiffany & co. luggage: what is it worth? | false |
The three words most hated by men during sex? are you in? or is it in? | true |
I see you're busy. i'll come back and ruin your free time. | true |
Gay jokes aren't funny... ...i mean, come on guys. | true |
When should you charge a battery? when you can't pay cash. | true |
Here is what we know about john king, the next secretary of education | false |
Instagram better not use my cloud pics. they're my clouds get your own clouds zuckerberg! | true |
What is a sure way to get a girl at a bar? order a cosbypolitan cocktail | true |
What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? a sub-woofer. | true |
I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how i'm doing | true |
This is what heartbreak looks like in the digital age | false |
Ouch i have a foot cramp you're dehydrated | true |
What's the correct term for an americano without cream or sugar? an african americano | true |
Why did helen keller scream? her parents left the plunger in the toilet. | true |
Say friends, why is it tough to play poker with cattle farmers? they're always raising the steaks! | true |
The joy of losing: what red-state democrats still don't get | false |
Who was the best player on the seahawks last night? the broncos' center | true |
Millions of kids honor 9/11 by singing the national anthem | false |
Andy warhol started his life in a modest home in pittsburgh, pennsylvania (photos) | false |
Summer parenting - visitation and custody in the summer months | false |
Why will you never go hungry in a desert? because of all the sand which is there. | true |
Florida extends 'stand your ground' to cover warning shots | false |
Elle fanning shows us why she's on this week's best-dressed list | false |
Lessons from harvey: we can all be a hero to someone | false |
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