text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Sick of dating real men? now you can virtually date and fall in love | false |
How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm? who the hell cares? | true |
What do you call a group of cows robbing a skyscraper? a high-steaks mission. | true |
A roman walks in a bar... holds up two fingers and says five beers please. | true |
What does hitler say when he stubs his toe? aushwitz | true |
My husband is turning 58 tomorrow. join me wishing him jesus, you're how old? | true |
Hhs secretary tom price says 'nobody will be worse off financially' under obamacare repeal | false |
I hate bikes that carry two people. i can't tandem. | true |
What did the blind deaf kid get for christmas? cancer. | true |
Does this bloodstained bunny suit make me look mentally unstable? | true |
What do you call someone who can't do anything? hr | true |
What did the surrealist butcher name his shop? salvador deli | true |
What type of tea is hard to swallow? reality | true |
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. so study hard and be evil. | true |
How do you make a kleenex dance? you put a little boogie in it. | true |
Gas is so cheap right now, i just buy a new car when i run out. | true |
From school to work, i've spent the majority of my life staring out a window, waiting to leave. | true |
Why is the book women who love too much a disappointment for many men? no phone numbers. | true |
Sanders campaign says dnc will restore voter data access | false |
Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? bet i could freak out some nurses. | true |
Which game should have won 'game of the year'? (polls) | false |
When you hug someone, think of all the poop you are just inches away from. | true |
I invited a few friends to an orgy i was hosting... everyone came. | true |
An open letter to the lifeguard who saved a little boy | false |
Donald trump’s immigration plan: big promises, bigger doubts | false |
You have to spend money to make money and the leafs have money | false |
What do david carradine and the mets have in common? they both choke when it really matters. | true |
I've been waxing my car for twenty years and i still don't know karate. | true |
He, who laughs last, laughs best. he who laughs at chuck norris ... dies. | true |
The moon and stars watch over the wines of avignonesi | false |
Unlike mc hammer's regulations, you can pretty much touch anything of mine you want. | true |
Elie wiesel, holocaust survivor and nobel laureate, dead at 87 | false |
Usain bolt's smiling face is the newest olympic internet meme | false |
Most republicans think donald trump has changed the gop for the better | false |
Q: what a blonde will ask the doctor in the maternity ward? a: is it mine? | true |
The true cost of not vaccinating your children: reviving a dead disease | false |
You won't be hearing trump's name in the new season of 'broad city' | false |
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff. | true |
Interview with wendell pierce, part one: why food deserts? | false |
Dozens killed in damascus suburb, marking the area's highest death toll in years | false |
I can totally keep secrets. it's the people i tell them to that can't. | true |
Why did the ghost go to jail? he got arrested for possession. | true |
Dashboard cam in toronto catches weird surprise (video) | false |
'last jedi' director reveals the first word uttered in the film | false |
Met gala 2012: rihanna, cameron diaz and 29 other best-dressed celebrities (photos) | false |
What appears when you ask a genie for a classical composer? a wish liszt. | true |
Why are cell phones like a dog's nipples? you don't have to shout into them. | true |
What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute? a ronda rousey fight. | true |
Getting to the bottom of baby carrot lies (watch) | false |
Sorry i got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob. | true |
13 things every man should buy now that will make his life better in 20 years | false |
Rachel roy reveals her best beauty secrets to into the gloss | false |
I too like my women like i like my laptop. laying there dying, while i masturbate to it. | true |
Scrabble, it's all fun and games until someone loses an i. | true |
Are you afraid of quantum mechanics ? dont worry, it's gonna be feynman. | true |
'mean girls' jingle bell rock outfits are still our favorite christmas costumes (video) | false |
Next steps for an adult child with autism | false |
Q: what's an accordion good for? a: learning how to fold a map. | true |
Kanye west's vma speech exposed a heartbreaking truth about black artists | false |
White house is furious about media propping up, giving coverage to guy wanting attention | false |
How couples can avoid fighting about the wedding | false |
What do you call a cow with no legs? a veterinarian | true |
A middle east delivery for the lazy eco traveler | false |
State department science envoy quits with not-so-secret message for trump: 'impeach' | false |
What's blue and fucks old people? me in my lucky blue coat. | true |
Angelina jolie responds to leg meme: 'i didn't pay attention to it' | false |
Asghar farhadi wins big after boycotting oscars over trump's muslim ban | false |
What do you call a sleeping prisoner? under a-rest. | true |
A cattle truck passed me on the highway he was haulin' ass | true |
Frank marino, las vegas drag queen, gets engaged onstage (video) | false |
Why are jewish men circumsised? because jewish women only touch things 20% off. | true |
I hate it when i'm trying to make money and someone greases the stripper pole. | true |
Yo mama so fat she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake. | true |
11 things you won't understand about happiness until you are happy | false |
Are you just fighting or engaging in 'conscious combat'? | false |
Illegal immigration is not a new problem. native americans used to call it white people | true |
Russell tovey says playing a gay superhero 'feels wonderful' | false |
This week in beauty: the best & worst from august 11-18, 2012 (photos) | false |
What do you call a sleeping pizza? a pizzza | true |
White people need to realize this is us | false |
Got (chocolate) milk? what you really need to know about the battle in our schools | false |
Why do warriors make bad business men ? they charge too much ! | true |
Texas governor lashes out at nfl over threat of boycotting state | false |
Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work? a remote control | true |
The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter lol | true |
The kool-aid man seems depressed lately. let's keep him away from load-bearing walls. | true |
Son: dad how do stars die? dad: drugs, usually | true |
Why do the japs like sony? because they made the playstasian | true |
Got caught talking to myself today. so i pretended i was a tree until they walked away. | true |
What's an oldie, but a goodie? a milf's vagina. | true |
Do we really need screens at the table in restaurants? | false |
These bizarre gas mask photos from wwii britain show life during wartime | false |
Mr. rogers misled kids by making them believe that running into people you know is good. | true |
Here's the best joke i know the american school system | true |
Tyra banks' gq cover, oprah sweatshirts and more instagrams of the week (photos) | false |
Top 17 people jeremy lin should not be compared to... and why! | false |
Girl you remind me of a... (insert insult here) | true |
Chicago's 'revenge shot' has never been more popular -- are you man enough to try it? | false |
Shooting at copenhagen synagogue leaves 1 dead, 2 officers wounded | false |
Blackrock ceo wants companies to stop quarterly earnings estimates | false |
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