text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
It seems i passed my mummy embalming exam... it was a no brainer! | true |
U.s.-turkish visa spat: a fight for basic freedoms | false |
Note to self: take mila kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time. | true |
Breaking up with ‘breaking bad' is hard for albuquerque | false |
Can't believe new zealand are introducing a new flag just as i finished memorising the old one. | true |
Amy schumer calls aziz ansari's alleged behavior 'not acceptable' | false |
Trump’s plan to cut public broadcasting funds could most hurt those who voted for him | false |
What's the best part about being a necrophiliac? no talking during sex. | true |
If you don't like where you are in your life ~ then move you are not a tree | true |
Yes yes yes !!! sex is not the answer. sex is the question. yes is the answer. | true |
What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? you take him for a drag. | true |
Dry scalp fix: how to make a diy hair mask (video) | false |
How to keep your dreams and your day job | false |
Obama touts auto rescue in michigan, blasts trump as enemy of working people | false |
Can i smash my head against your wall? sure, knock yourself out. | true |
What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night? lie in bed wondering is there really a dog? | true |
I have cancer. i can't sleep. entertain me - tell me a joke about terminal illness or insomnia. | true |
Sally yates hearing reveals limits of congress’ ability to investigate russia | false |
Read the best july fourth oration ever given | false |
Billy joel marries alexis roderick in surprise 4th of july wedding | false |
15 exercises to pump up your leadership skills | false |
Kidnapping is a dumb crime because you're literally forcing yourself to hang out with someone | true |
I'm no gynecologist but i know a c*nt when i see one. | true |
Why did the chicken cross the road? the first side smelled bad. | true |
How to find the perfect wife: play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she's the one. | true |
What did the jihadist say when he had explosive diarrhea? allahpoo akbar! | true |
You can't see the future from the man-cave | false |
Pope goes green, conservatives see red and boehner stays orange | false |
Free palestine! with purchase of equal or greater value. | true |
Who's your dad's cousin's cousin's daughter to you? a potential tinder date. | true |
How do you know if your roommate is gay? his dick tastes like shit. | true |
Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from jail? he's a small medium at large. | true |
Stephen colbert's 'the hobbit' cameo pops up on youtube | false |
Hillary clinton educates zach galifianakis about sexist double standards on 'between two ferns' | false |
Sandy powell, 'hugo' costume designer, on her oscar nomination, chloe moretz and more | false |
Your secrets are safe with me, because i probably wasn't listening to begin with. | true |
My friends say i'm frugal. i'm not buying it. | true |
Taylor swift goes ‘wandering' with jaime king & lorde | false |
This is what your nail polish says about you | false |
Why does barbie never get pregnant........? because ken came in another box | true |
Why does peter parker have a shower in his apartment? he can't get out of a bath. | true |
Suspected boko haram militants attack chinese workers in cameroon | false |
How many ears does captain kirk have? three, the right ear, the left ear and the final frontier | true |
'the bachelor' is designed to fuel girl-on-girl hate | false |
What did bill say to hillary after sex? i'll be home in 20 minutes. | true |
Aids drug goes from $13.50 a tablet to $750 overnight | false |
24 key issues to which the media isn't giving adequate attention | false |
A man and his wife were once in a very healthy marriage. | true |
Orbital sciences' cygnus spacecraft aborts first attempt at docking with iss | false |
Sean spicer: donald trump will maintain 'healthy skepticism' on u.s. intel | false |
This documentary on tree frogs is absolutely ribbiting. | true |
The hollywood reporter's cover story on cnn doesn't feature any women | false |
Chuck norris doesn't dial the wrong number. you pick up the wrong phone. | true |
My goal weight is not having to take selfies from such a high angle. | true |
How many chans does it take to change a lightbulb? lulz!!! etc etc etc :-d | true |
Sometimes it seems like anthony weiner doesn't even have a sense of huma. | true |
The fast-changing world map of lgbt rights: a talk with the un's charles radcliffe | false |
Why some people respond to stress by falling asleep | false |
What do you call allergy season without any kleenexes? a tissue | true |
Kombucha: 7 beauty products made from this fermented tea | false |
If a man shaves his arms and legs... he probably shaves his pussy, too. | true |
Why you may need plenty of time between bachelor/bachelorette parties and the wedding | false |
A duck goes into a drug store he says gimee some chap stick put it on my bill | true |
Most kids today wont understand the joy of playing with the telephone cord. | true |
The groom was furious and told me i was a terrible best man. i was speechless. | true |
Knock knock. who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? i though you'd never forget. | true |
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? a moosician! | true |
My friend just told me he has screwed every girl in his class he is homeschooled | true |
What do you have against chickens?!?! one got choked last night thanks to you! ; ) | true |
An open letter to justice, the tween girls' clothing store | false |
Whats the difference between jelly and jam? i cant jelly my dick in your mouth | true |
A king taught his son how to use the toilet today. now they call him prince charmin. | true |
Live from the karlovy vary international film festival: friday, june 28 | false |
Helen mirren took a tequila shot on the oscars red carpet like the queen she is | false |
I'd like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer... ...so...dad, if you're up there... | true |
This one line sums up the big clinton-sanders policy argument | false |
How i paid $100,000 off my mortgage in under 2 years | false |
If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage. | true |
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend to his parents? meat patty | true |
Healthy habits: one of the most precious gifts we can give our children | false |
Surprise, surprise, donald trump's supporters are trying to 'rig' the election | false |
Charlie sheen takes down 'charlatan' donald trump and his fake wedding gift | false |
This anti-semitic term was casually used at the white house 3 times this week | false |
How do you stop a woman giving you head? marry her. | true |
What do you call a really cheesy thought? a quesaidea. | true |
What do you call an agreement between forests? a treety | true |
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. then i had probably the biggest vowel movement ever! | true |
Martha stewart and snoop dogg recreate that sexy 'ghost' scene | false |
Netanyahu takes campaign against iran deal to jerusalem holy site | false |
My wife converted to judaism during batman begins. it was a real christian bail. | true |
Artificial retina approved by fda for retinitis pigmentosa | false |
Could my daughter be the next tina fey? | false |
What kind of limes open doors? key limes. | true |
Tom brady apologizes for wasting our time with 'deflategate' | false |
What do you call an italian yeti? a spaghyeti! | true |
Peanut exec faces life sentence for shipping tainted peanut butter | false |
Why can't jesus eat a cheeseburger? because he's dead. | true |
What's blue and doesn't weigh much? light blue | true |
Nonprofit provides free medical care for homeless people's pets | false |
Why was the moth so unpopular ? he kept picking holes in everything ! | true |
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