text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
What should you say when an old lady calls you a bastard sonofabitch? i love you too, mom. | true |
The gop fiddles as trump rips apart the fabric of the nation | false |
Here are the 2016 glaad media award nominees | false |
Gymnast laurie hernandez and val chmerkovskiy win 'dancing with the stars' | false |
What do you call a comedian that can't get a girl pregnant? carl barron | true |
Cigarette's killed my wife. she was run over by the marlboro truck. | true |
This 28-year-old is running for congress to try to destroy u.s.-saudi relations | false |
Usa gymnastics president steve penny resigns amid sex abuse scandal | false |
What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral? one less drunk. | true |
Police make first arrest in connection to oregon militia standoff | false |
Some lady on the price is right just won a brand new 2016 epi-pen. | true |
Ur a pony! ur a tablecloth! the shapeshifting continues for hours. | true |
Awful purim joke grogger? i hardly knew her! | true |
What do you call a mexican rolling in sand? a churro. | true |
What's an arab man that drives a bus an otto-man | true |
My girlfriend treats me like a god she ignores me till she wants to ask for something | true |
You get what you get and you don't get upset... you have cancer. | true |
I saw a transvestite... wearing a t-shirt that said guess. source: demetri martin. person. | true |
Why don't chinese restaurant owners do their dirty dishes? because it's too much wok! | true |
Spin it to win it: the high cost of trump's military 'strategy' | false |
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder. | true |
How did the tugboat get aids... it was rear-ended by a fairy. | true |
Dear algebra stop asking me to find your x . . . she is not coming back! | true |
*opens a window and the wind blows 84 hamburger wrappers from my desk.* oh no! my research!! | true |
Why did the doughnut maker retire? he was fed up with the hole business. | true |
I'm no cactus expert, but i know a prick when i see one. | true |
Miley cyrus wears two revealing outfits at 'vh1 divas' (photos, video) | false |
The new year's resolution every parent on the planet should make | false |
Why do mushmelons always have traditional marriages? because they cantaloupe. | true |
What do you call a waterfall that's all dried up? a waterfell. | true |
Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves. | true |
A tiny rural town just elected an all-latino city council | false |
Viola davis, anna wintour cozy up at vera wang... but will davis land a 'vogue' cover? (photos) | false |
When people see you as a competition, you already won. | true |
Are you a new runner? experts suggest taking it slow | false |
*runs into bank with gun* alright! everyone put your hands up! *tickles everyone* | true |
Employee: sir, overall sales are really low. ceo: when did we start selling overalls, bro? | true |
Long island iced tea corp's shares skyrocket after renaming itself 'long blockchain corp' | false |
What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash? he's making bankon. | true |
Lpt: don't let a doctor examine you without clothes on make him put his clothes on | true |
China is poised to benefit from trump’s ambiguous africa policy | false |
Baltimore civil unrest puts my college concerns in perspective | false |
Just look at these painfully adorable mountain lion kittens | false |
This is the minimalist instagram of your dreams | false |
One-armed bmx rider uses genius technique to perform tricks | false |
Pick your panties: what does your underwear say about you? (photos) | false |
How does the karate kid pleasure himself? wax off | true |
War does not determine who is right... ...only who is left. | true |
Every way you could possibly need to crack an egg (videos) | false |
What do you call money you pay prostitutes? headquarters | true |
When a transgender goes missing.. you put their photo on a carton of half and half. | true |
Pension benefit cuts planned at t.v.a., breaking a federal firewall | false |
(from my 8 year old) what do you call a mexican chicken giving directions? arrows con pollo | true |
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station. | true |
Elizabeth warren says it's 'too early' to talk about whether she'll run for re-election | false |
Why join the military with a reckless (meaning republican) commander-in-chief? | false |
Huge shout out to the woman that message me first... love you, mum! | true |
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye, matey! | true |
Annual around the world travel adventure competition set to begin | false |
I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names. | true |
Who served as the 45th vice president of the united states? | true |
Amnesty international starts campaign to free 'dying' undocumented mom from ice | false |
Mayor refuses to force museum to pull 'pornographic' photograph | false |
Don't necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but i just gave a very ugly woman directions. | true |
Q: what do you call a male quartet? a: three men and a tenor. | true |
Gay marriage is legal now so... is the internet over now? do we go on vacation? | true |
No, obama didn't kill too big to fail | false |
Children of teen parents and older dads may face higher psychiatric risks | false |
What do you get when you eat all of the potatoes? *chuckle* they're all gone! | true |
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? he always liked to make a stink! | true |
Overheard: i think that guy is listening to us. | true |
Lungleavin' day: how we turned something tragic into something good | false |
What did blizzard do on warcraft's opening night? farm gold in china. | true |
The gay traveler: flash sales take on the hotel industry | false |
Airplane boneyards look even cooler in instagram photos | false |
President obama's budget: five small steps forward, one big step back | false |
New york state will cover breast milk donations for preemies from low-income families | false |
What do a bass guitar solo and peeing your pants have in common? it's quiet and embarrassing. | true |
Tombstone: here lies houdini 2nd tombstone: now i'm over here | true |
Amazon workers strike again for better pay in germany | false |
Tibi designer amy smilovic on designing without formal training, casual fridays and...camel toe? | false |
Women in business q&a: lois liberman and marilyn chinitz, blank rome | false |
I'm like a dead owl... i just don't give a hoot anymore. | true |
When you're the only republican at a party, it's time to sing 'hillary' | false |
Women keep schools running, but they're not in charge of running them | false |
Former mexican president tells trump to ‘think a little!’ | false |
Today is david finchers birthday... whats in the box!????? | true |
They should make a minecraft movie it would be a blockbuster. | true |
Why did shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? because she didn't like his lack of commitment | true |
Best & worst beauty of the week: eva longoria, vanessa hudgens, jennifer garner and more (photos) | false |
9 of the worst anti-lgbt moments of the week, dec. 30 - jan. 5 | false |
Back2quran ramadan series: summary of chapter 1 (fatiha) | false |
‘in a dogs' world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old’ | false |
Blended family friday: meet raiye and tobias's family (photos) | false |
These new 'ahs: freak show' teasers are legitimately terrifying | false |
I used to be addicted to soap but it's okay now, i am clean. | true |
Addicted to coffee? how to break the habit for good | false |
42 best vines of the week, in one video: sept. 16 - sept. 22, 2013 | false |
The kidnapping capital of america and a thriving drug trade | false |
How can you tell if lunch meat is from west virginia? it's in bread | true |
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