text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
What did the left tower say to the right tower? i gotta catch a plane | true |
Matt damon wants you to know he didn't steal a role from a chinese actor | false |
Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. that shit was bananas. | true |
If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else. | true |
How do you know if somebody graduated from harvard? they'll tell you. | true |
Lauren bacall's iconic hollywood glamour floored twitter all over again this week | false |
Democrats taunt gop after obamacare repeal vote by singing 'goodbye' | false |
Usher's ex-wife posts photo of their son in hospital as custody battle heats up | false |
What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ? a guard dog ! | true |
How do you make a patty melt? give marcie a strap-on. | true |
Being inside a car with kids is like being inside a blender with sticky hyenas. | true |
Did you hear that shakira and madonna had a big fight? they're no longer on a first-name basis. | true |
Fiber's colon cancer-fighting effects may depend on gut bacteria | false |
Tv reporter loses it as parrot lands on her shoulder seconds before broadcast | false |
When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny. | true |
8 out of 6 people think i'm terrible at math. | true |
How are oklahoma 3.2 beers like sex in a canoe? they're both fucking close to water. | true |
I recently won a punctuation competition. my prize was an apos-*trophy*. | true |
Benefits of dating me: 1. you're the smart one | true |
She's back: kylie jenner shares first photo of herself since giving birth | false |
Jon voight plays down donald trump's offensive comments about women | false |
Phachara khongwatmai, 14, becomes youngest golfer to win pro event | false |
How a brewery might save this town in the california drought | false |
What do you call a prostitute that has sex for free? a priest. | true |
What do horses hope for on election day? a stable economy | true |
Which part of the cabbage don't you eat? the wheelchair. | true |
See the trailer for hard-partying cannes breakout 'american honey' | false |
New art books on the art of afro-cuba, vincent van gogh and wayne thiebaud | false |
Taylor swift's 'call it what you want' is maybe her best love song yet | false |
7 things i would tell my younger self | false |
Americans eat turkeys at christmas. do people in turkey eat americans? | true |
If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak english... | true |
I called my ex a cow animal control had to show up | true |
Telly lovelace is the rnc's new national director of black initiatives | false |
10 fascinating pieces of advice about pregnancy and childcare from the 1870s | false |
Why do comedians always ask such strange questions? because they're telling jokes | true |
What happened when the cow tried to milk itself? it was an udder catastrophe. | true |
5 tips to avoid summer weight gain in kids | false |
Rachael leigh cook remixes that famous 'brain on drugs' commercial | false |
What's sad about lunch in ethiopia? there is no lunch. | true |
Jeffrey toobin on trump-comey chat: 'obstruction of justice' | false |
If microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... it will be a vacuum cleaner. | true |
Holly madison leaving her las vegas home because of ‘human-sized' dog house (photo) | false |
Not picking up the phone is some of the most fun you can have with a phone. | true |
9/11 jokes are just plane wrong. write any other jokes about 9/11 | true |
A cow made a joke but it was too cheesy | true |
These 17 men are vying for best director at the 2016 oscars | false |
How does jokeexplainbot work? having all that trivial information must be a big distraction... | true |
On a scale of 1 to 10 how old is your girlfriend? | true |
Today's feminist horror owes a lot to this overlooked 20th-century artist | false |
How can you tell if someone is a pilot? they'll just tell you. | true |
South korea's women curlers have nicknames like pancake, steak and yogurt | false |
Popular high schoolers earn more later in life, study shows | false |
Ira world premiere benefits shrunken shakespeare and the actors' fund | false |
Veni vidi venti. i came, i saw, i ordered a caramel macchiato. | true |
Last week i gave a lecture on sexual dysfunction nobody came. | true |
A letter to my dearly departed husband peter | false |
So a wizard was walking down the street... then he turned into a driveway. | true |
11 ways to tie a scarf -- in one chart | false |
10 destinations on the rise, according to tripadvisor (photos) | false |
Trump doj and chicago may reach a police reform deal with ‘no teeth’ | false |
Sometimes i wish i was like my calendar, it always has dates. | true |
Venezuelans are marching to demand president nicolás maduro leaves power | false |
What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea? a dim light. | true |
I wish 'you idiot.' was an appropriate way to end a work email. | true |
Nra tv host chides mark hamill: what if galactic republic outlawed lightsabers? | false |
Why does dr. pepper come in a bottle? his wife died. | true |
Why wasn't hitler invited to the bbq? he always burns the franks. | true |
Beth ostrosky's style evolution: from fhm cover girl to sophisticated mrs. howard stern (photos) | false |
Thanksgiving and marriage: 60 tweets from grateful spouses | false |
Fall wedding dresses: our picks for the best autumn gowns (photos) | false |
Gun shop owner and son die in shootout over $25 service charge | false |
What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? the deceased ! | true |
The next top prosecutor and white collar crime | false |
I live next door to a hacker. i wish he'd cut back on smoking. | true |
Police hunt bad santa claus who stole helicopter | false |
Buzz aldrin looked as baffled as we felt during trump's space talk | false |
Lady gaga rants against 'applause' leak on twitter, slams 'blogger criticism' | false |
What's a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up in cider | true |
Greg abbott keeps strong lead in governor's race | false |
Prince has died. the artist fully known as alive. | true |
What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? a cock thats up all night! | true |
Fox news host challenges his own network's reporting | false |
Healthy breakfast ideas: what 14 celebrities eat in the morning | false |
Terrifying video shows 2 bullets narrowly missing 4-year-old girl's head | false |
Bombing in syria's ghouta won't let up long enough for rescuers to count bodies | false |
A woman had a dog with no legs. she took it out for a drag every morning. | true |
What did the caesar salad say to the beat salad? et tu beate? | true |
Why is the word clit so fun to say? it just rolls off the tongue. | true |
30+ and single? there's an app for that. wait. my mistake. a cat. | true |
If you're a monkey, your shit's always bananas. | true |
Kate moss, style icon, encased in bronze bodysuit in dazzling pop cover (photos) | false |
Elan gale's viral airplane twitter fight may have been a hoax | false |
Swaddling ban: why are day cares banning baby burritos? | false |
What do you call a fake apple product? an i-phony | true |
People don't hate you because you're beautiful. people hate you because you're a nasty b itch. | true |
Cindy sherman's birthday: 15 artists influenced by the master of disguise (photos) | false |
Jerusalem is just the latest example of trump's nonsensical foreign policy | false |
Nonprofit boardroom elephants and the 'nice guy' syndrome: a complex problem | false |
Donald trump could be in violation of the lease on his d.c. hotel the day he takes office | false |
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