text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
When i get naked in the bathroom the shower usually gets turned on. | true |
Nra tweets photo of ar-15 on day of national school walkout for no particular reason | false |
2014 davos annual meeting: live updates from the world economic forum | false |
What's the difference between a condom and your mother? a condom wasn't on my dick last night. | true |
Only english speakers capitalize 'i,' but that doesn't mean we're obsessed with ourselves | false |
Life after a shooting: the metamorphosis of a college campus | false |
The top 50 craft breweries in america, according to the brewers association | false |
What do lawyers use for birth control? their personalities. | true |
You know what's funny? lots of shit so lighten the fuck up. | true |
U.s. law enforcement investigating aaron schock's campaign funds | false |
Whats brown and comes out of cowes backwards? the isle of wight ferry. | true |
These moms nail the problem with parenting books | false |
Avoid mental masturbation: 5 tips from uber-successful entrepreneurs | false |
If storks bring babies, what kind of bird doesn't bring any babies? a swollow. | true |
6 travel souvenir collections you need to start | false |
Israeli settler colonialism is the obstacle to peace | false |
Favorite doubles: 1. scotch 2. cheeseburgers 3. bourbon 4. entendres 5. dipping | true |
How do you get a bass player off of your porch? you pay for your pizza. | true |
Why did only 2 mexicans cross the border? the sign said no trespassing (tres-passing) | true |
Marriage is the only legal way to trade cash for sex. | true |
My very own 36 hours in new orleans | false |
What do you call an argentinian with a rubber toe? roberto! you call him roberto.... | true |
Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? well la de da, your majesty. | true |
Carrie fisher's daughter billie lourd shoots down 'star wars' rumor | false |
What do you call a used rubber in a church parking lot? family practice | true |
Million dollar idea: an alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts. | true |
Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil? insufficient funds. | true |
10 easy dinner recipes that will become family favorites | false |
5 signs it's time to break up with a business client | false |
Cops already patrol these students' schools. it doesn't make them feel safer. | false |
Here's exactly how much sugar is in starbucks' new caramelized honey latte | false |
Watch this hyrdaulic press crush an innocent lego person into a pancake | false |
Want to hear a joke about toilet paper? nevermind... it's tearable. | true |
Wedding cake options to suit every couple (photos) | false |
I wish someone would challenge me so i could help raise awareness for ice buckets. | true |
Fearless living boot camp, day 20: say thank you! (video) | false |
What's the difference between parsley and pussy? nobody ever eats parsley. | true |
Laura ingraham would 'seriously consider' white house press secretary job | false |
A nostalgic look at lesbian identity in san francisco | false |
Presidents' day sales 2012: home decor and furniture sales at macy's, kohl's, walmart, target | false |
Why do chicken coops have only two doors? if they had four doors they would be chicken sedans. | true |
What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? a new last name. | true |
Sorry we missed you in 3 days your package will be available at your second closest fedex location | true |
If you text me, i'll call you back just cuz it's more efficient. - a monster | true |
Sharon stone style evolution: 'basic' black and the occasional wild outfit (photos) | false |
Citizens united, kentucky, and the future of american elections | false |
What does dna stand for? national dyslexia association. | true |
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. | true |
Slowly, waldo's wife and mr. sandiego started putting the pieces together | true |
Inside debbie wasserman schultz's decision to scrap her convention gig | false |
Meg whitman to fundraise for clinton to take down ‘demagogue’ trump | false |
7 psychiatrist-backed tips to help you manage anxiety | false |
What super models should you invite to your birthday party ? cake moss and naomi candles | true |
Thanksgiving crafts: 'give thanks' shadow box that's hot on pinterest | false |
You're in a work meeting and your boss asks, any questions? the answer is always, no. | true |
I had a crazy dream that i weighed absolutely nothing... ...i was like, 0mg! | true |
My boobs float because they're above c level. | true |
Derrick rose's kid is seriously the coolest kid in the world | false |
Q: what kind of snake is good at math? a: an adder. | true |
Here's what it's like to be queer in singapore | false |
Mistrust plagues both white house and media, poll shows | false |
Women shouldn't work outside the home. it's steve jobs, not eve jobs. | true |
Obama orders review of police use of military hardware | false |
Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? because the grass tickles their nuts... | true |
What do you call a black kid riding a bike????? a thief.... | true |
New star-studded movie aims to tell mary magdalene's story | false |
I just got into an argument with mrs. fields she was one tough cookie | true |
What was left after the explosion at a french cheese factory des brie | true |
What's big and purple and hugs your easter basket? the easter barney! | true |
Small victory for syrian refugees in texas, as court showdown looms | false |
I just bought the best vacuum ever it sucks | true |
Why it took me until my 50s to feel ok about masturbation | false |
Why doesn't chelsea clinton have a brother or sister? monica lewinsky swallowed them. | true |
I would make a sparrow joke... but they don't fly very well. | true |
What do you call the babies born in a whorehouse? brothel sprouts. | true |
I got 99 problems but i'm avoiding them all. | true |
6-year-old: spill me some milk. me: you mean pour. 6: not the way you do it. | true |
A snowman and a snow-woman had a child... ...it had its mother's ice. | true |
What's e.t. short for? his legs are small. | true |
What did the pints say upon landing on planet metric? take us to your liter. | true |
Explore america: long beach and the annual toyota grand prix of long beach (photos) | false |
Private equity firm acquires rita’s italian ice, now eying california public library | false |
Ammon bundy says armed takeover of wildlife refuge was totally legal | false |
How is disneyland like viagra? an hour wait for a 30 second ride. | true |
It's impossible for a woman to say i'm not overreacting' without screaming. | true |
Keeping a resolution: on running my first race | false |
What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? luftwaffles | true |
Cop lights should be called sex lights because every time you see them someone is getting fucked | true |
If you eat guns, you'll sweat bullets. it's science. | true |
Colosseum in rome turns red in protest of pakistan's blasphemy law | false |
Escort who gave google exec fatal heroin shot to be deported to canada | false |
Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? they cantelope. | true |
The 10 best things you're already doing with your finances | false |
I used to be a huge fan of jesus christ... but then he got double crossed. | true |
How will we remember the holocaust after the survivors are gone? | false |
Gilly hicks, abercrombie's lingerie store you didn't know about, closes | false |
Cartier ticked at 'cuntier' hats, tells parsons student fahad to knock it off | false |
Bill maher likens donald trump to ebola and ted cruz to zika virus | false |
I was going to make a joke about udp... ...but i'm not sure if you will get it! | true |
A new spring cleaning checklist for your home | false |
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