text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Man walks into a zoo. there was only one animal. it was a dog. it's a shitzu. | true |
I left my last girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting. i often wonder what she's up to now. | true |
Teacher: khaleesi m, please leave khaleesi s alone. khaleesi t, i still need your permission slip | true |
If a duckling is a baby duck, i don't want to eat dumplings. | true |
What happens when a jew walks into a wall with a boner? he breaks his nose. | true |
Tv time linked with poor sleep in preschoolers | false |
It's amazing the things you'll do for a person when you want to see them naked. | true |
Why does santa claus have such a big sack? he comes once a year! :-) | true |
Passionate kiss is like spider web leads to undoing of fly. | true |
The one resolution that could help you save money and eat better | false |
Do lady beavers call their vaginas a me? no. because they're ladies. | true |
My parents treat me like a god they dont believe in me | true |
Poison control center calls related to e-cigarettes increasing | false |
The art of gallery hopping around the world | false |
Three monkeys walk into a bar... i forgot the rest, but your mom's a whore. | true |
What's going be america's largest export once trump gets elected? americans. | true |
What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him? mitosis. huehuehuehuehuehue | true |
Gq publisher in contempt of court over uk hacking coverage | false |
Michael jackson style evolution: from child star to mega star (photos) | false |
What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you? a polite bulb. | true |
There are only 10 sorts of people in the world those who understand binary and those who don't. | true |
What do you call a blowjob from a midget? a low blow. | true |
Me: for christmas i want a girlfriend/boyfriend santa: let's be realistic lol | true |
Walmart is closing down 269 stores in 2016 due to this, 17 cashiers will lose their jobs. | true |
Mindfulness meditation: how it works in the brain | false |
‘orphans’ regroups with alec baldwin and ben foster | false |
Why did aquaman join the dc universe instead of marvel? because he was hydra-phobic. | true |
Sleepy baby elephant picks one awful napping spot | false |
New york city’s subways need congestion pricing now | false |
Sometimes you just need a cunning linguist to get a tiny pianist joke. | true |
Huffpost hill - trump drops birther claims, now can focus on rafael cruz's treasons | false |
How do you overcome tyrannical pancakes? u syrup 'em | true |
People are hilariously reimagining donald trump’s awkward water bottle moment | false |
Practicing g.r.a.c.e.: how to bring compassion into your interactions with others | false |
Why are people at star wars conventions so happy? because of the endor-fans. | true |
What do you call a cat that copies off others' exam papers? a cheetah | true |
Trend alert: 10 ways to pull off 2013's 'it' pattern, ikat (photos) | false |
Where you can listen to prince online in honor of the late music icon | false |
I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. you should have seen her face. | true |
5 steps to creating a powerful content marketing strategy | false |
Have you read that new book on antigravity? it's hard to put down! | true |
Trump nominee: it's 'insane' civilians can buy assault rifles | false |
Sometimes it's fun to randomly shout, hey, asshole! in a crowd, just to see who turns around. | true |
Brian presley hits on model melissa stetten, she live-tweets it: report | false |
Sprint and ibm create platform for car apps | false |
20 places for wine tasting where you can spend the night (photos) | false |
God said to jon come forth, and recieve eternal life. but jon came fifth, and won a toaster. | true |
Sónar festival offers more than you might expect | false |
Guys feel more rivalry with siblings, study shows | false |
Bradley cooper tells james corden he can hit him with a stun gun | false |
Johnny depp calls donald trump a 'brat' in a room full of cheering people | false |
Ethics watchdog asks court to unseal labor nominee's divorce records | false |
What i realized when i finally decided to sign up for food stamps | false |
What do you say to a broken xbox one? nothing, you already said it twice. | true |
Did you hear how jared fogel lost his first 40 pounds? he dumped his girlfriend. | true |
Why did the easter bunny have to fire the duck? because he kept quacking all the eggs! | true |
I always take a condom with me on a night out. unfortunately, it is always the same one... | true |
Meeting friends for dinner. can't find my phone so i'm bringing along a tv remote to stare at. | true |
Why are gametes so popular? because sex sells! | true |
What happens when you accidently add an extra p to tp? banned from /r/news | true |
Sperm healthiest in winter and early spring, new study finds | false |
Why are bank offices so cold? they're trying to freeze their assets. | true |
If two vegetarians are arguing is it considered a beef? | true |
What does hitler do to detox? a jewce cleanse lol i'm sorry. | true |
Spin the bottle is a lot like russian roulette if there's an ugly person there. | true |
'sunday times' snowden story is an example of journalism at its worst | false |
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to america? on their feet! | true |
Emotional zach johnson 'at a loss of words' after winning british open | false |
What do ghosts dress up as for halloween? as john cena because you can't see them. | true |
My 20y/o brother went to elementary school.. to learn firebending | true |
For halloween this year, i'm gonna be a dish. because bitches do dishes. | true |
Where do people send crazy cigarettes? to the menthol institution | true |
The world of science has a lot to look forward to in 2016 | false |
Yes, even the 'blind' can score against brazil at this point | false |
What do you call an asian driveby? cap-a-chino | true |
So a pun, a play on words, and an anecdote walk into a bar. no joke. | true |
Tell y'all what i know about dwarfs.. very little. | true |
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? he heard the ref was blowing fowls in the corner! | true |
U.s. takes steps to review dakota access pipeline | false |
Dirty kids: how germs can be your child's best friend | false |
What's the difference between bmws and porcupines? porcupines have pricks on the outside. | true |
What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? a bardvark! | true |
Jackie kennedy onassis stuns in a long printed dress (photo) | false |
Nikolaj coster-waldau has a perfect theory on valyrian steel owners | false |
Cafe retro: a camel milk latte in dubai | false |
Fitness folklore, or fact? exercise experts debunk common myths | false |
Here's punk-rock nicole kidman in 'how to talk to girls at parties' | false |
Bernie sanders: trump's tax avoidance is why americans are angry with corrupt system | false |
Watch: man rides on back of moving car | false |
How dare you say i'm dumb! would a dummy get a 'a' on there iq test? hmm? | true |
I'm reading the newspaper with a vengeance. this time it's personals. | true |
The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly. | true |
How journalists need to go beyond fact checking trump | false |
'sherlock' star benedict cumberbatch 'directly related' to sherlock holmes author | false |
Why didn't the spaceship take off? becuase it was astronauty | true |
What comes after the night of the superbowl? the superbowel | true |
Why do pirates like tig welding so much? because they have a good supply of arrgon. | true |
Fomalhaut b exoplanet study suggests 'zombie' alien planet is planetary object, not 'dust' (video) | false |
Tifu: by calling a passing play when i should have run the ball. beast mode rules! | true |
Some guy tried to put out the olympic torch with a fire extinguisher | false |
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