text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Why did joseph goebbels own a pair of binoculars? for proper gander purposes. | true |
Did you hear about the kidnapping in dallas? they woke him up. | true |
Occupy wall street plans to surround new york stock exchange to mark anniversary | false |
Todd chrisley responds to gay rumors ahead of new season of hit reality show | false |
Q: where did the martian put his teacup? a: on his flying saucer. | true |
Pope's new fragrance hits stores just in time for his u.s. visit | false |
Q: how does a blonde kill a worm? a: she burys it. | true |
I got hit by a can of coke... good thing it was a soft drink. | true |
Whoever called it thor 2 and not keeping up with the asgardians is an idiot. | true |
How i overcame the fear of public speaking | false |
What does the sign say on an out-of-business brothel? beat it, we're closed. | true |
Happy international childfree day! announcing 2015 childfree woman and man of the year | false |
Bond is on a rogue mission in new 'spectre' film | false |
The best summer beers: our taste test results, 2013 (photos) | false |
74-year-old man arrested after alleged 'massacre' of kim kardashian’s books | false |
What is the definition of a menstrual period ? a bloody waste of fucking time. | true |
Jessica fell out of a tree and broke both her arms. knock knock. who's there? not jessica | true |
Embryo survival gene may fight range of diseases: study | false |
What dance did the rastafarian teach ash ketchum? dah okey pokey mon. | true |
Doutzen kroes, victoria's secret model, wishes you happy easter in lingerie (video) | false |
The other donald trump is voting for hillary | false |
When i die i want my tombstone to read, did stuff. | true |
What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? finding half of a worm in an apple | true |
Progressives just suffered a tough loss in new york | false |
How do you separate the men from the boys in sparta? with a crowbar. | true |
Seen often enough, the unusual or bizarre can seem usual | false |
Why does seth rogen laugh like he's being asphyxiated? because even he knows he sucks. | true |
Isis is a threat to u.s. interests, top official says. here's what's being done about it | false |
Huffpollster: gop strategist gives democrats the advantage in november | false |
Found a jelly bean in my skittles like a surprise gift from the diabetes fairy. | true |
5 secrets to having a smarter -- and happier -- trip | false |
I thought of a black joke. but it doesn't work. | true |
Steve jobs movie 'jobs' gets moved off its april 19 release date | false |
Your mom is over capacity. - me under my breath to twitter a second ago | true |
So a dyslexic man walks into a bra... | true |
What's the difference between jelly and jam? i can't jelly my foot up your ass. | true |
Jay pharoah says 'saturday night live' cast members told him he was underutilized | false |
The way we learn today is just wrong | false |
Trevor noah calls out donald trump for his recent 'load of bulls**t' | false |
Companies are disclosing how much less they pay workers than executives | false |
Aide explains how donald trump will carry out his deportation plans | false |
Caller: i'm your worst nightmare. me: whaaat?? you're a sugar free cookie?? | true |
Sir, do you have any dietary restrictions? *unbuttons pants* not anymore! | true |
I came up with a new word yesterday: plagiarism | true |
Democrats erupt in anger after 'corrupt' tax bill passes the senate | false |
'star trek: discovery' has plenty of room to exist in the 'prime' timeline (spoilers) | false |
What do you call an alien with three balls? e.t. the extra testicle. | true |
Report: jeb bush used private email as governor | false |
Whitney houston's last hit was ... off a crack pipe. | true |
Donald trump is not the sharpest tool in the shed but... ..he is the biggest. | true |
It's so cold out the hookers downtown are charging 20 bucks to blow on your hands. | true |
Guys one of the greek gods is trying to destroy 80s music! h80s | true |
Former south carolina officer defends fatally shooting walter scott | false |
World cities culture report explores 12 of the world's 'most important cities' (photos) | false |
Company loyalty can often be explained by stockholm syndrome. | true |
*raises hand in class* can you repeat that, i haven't been paying attention all year | true |
Remember: you can eat your way out of almost any problem. | true |
You may be surprised that florida makes some of the world's best chocolate | false |
What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iphone 7 have in common? there's no jack | true |
How to calculate the real cost of living abroad | false |
Why can't t-rex's high five? because they're all dead. | true |
Girl scouts prove they’re smart cookies, use leo dicaprio to sell thin mints | false |
Calling someone a protestor is now racist... yupp. that's a real joke. | true |
Hell hath no fury like a trans woman scorned | false |
Sorry, but pelosi's fundraising won't save the democrats | false |
2013 snow photos document 'nemo' blizzard across the northeast (pictures) | false |
Who robs banks and squirts ink? billy the squid. | true |
These are 16 things cvs should also stop selling | false |
What do you call women who get beat by their alcoholic husbands? beer-battered wives | true |
What's the difference between jews and pizza? pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven. | true |
Moms: give yourself a gift for mother's day | false |
Just bought a white pool stick... now, i shoot better then the rest of my school. | true |
What did cinderella say as she was approaching the ball? *makes choking sounds* | true |
My corduroy pillow has been making headlines all week. | true |
Why did walt and skyler get divorced? there was no chemistry. | true |
My wife likes to quote soundgarden during sex. won't you come | true |
Sorry i said, whoa, hope he's good at math. when you showed me your kid's finger painting. | true |
Xavier dolan's mommy: exuberant film shares jury prize at cannes | false |
Should you run your marriage like a business | false |
Dads-to-be may experience hormone changes before their babies are born | false |
Gop senator who unendorsed donald trump decides to vote for him | false |
What do you call a fat gay guy? flab-ulos! | true |
I'm blond, blue-eyed and the face of hollywood diversity | false |
Sorry i asked why? when you told me your baby's name. | true |
Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone? doodoo doodoo | true |
After a whole year my school extestentialist club declared me... ...most likely to be | true |
T.j. simers wins $7.1 million judgment against the los angeles times | false |
To not address the american virus of racism would be the greatest charlottesville tragedy of all | false |
How do you get heaps of pikachu on to a bus? you pokemon | true |
Ben carson has a weirdly specific vision of how ‘the purge’ could turn real | false |
Pink shares the sweetest breastfeeding photo from her hike | false |
Lawmakers who back big polluters risk losing gop voters | false |
I never knew much about people until i took one apart, just to see how it works. | true |
Trump says he met with the president of the virgin islands, which is... trump | false |
You're an open book? throws you into a bonfire. | true |
I fucked a vacuum cleaner once... it sucked | true |
'moonlight,' 'jackie' and 'manchester by the sea' just got the year's first big oscar bump | false |
Being drunk is a very unpleasant experience... just ask a glass of water. | true |
What do reddit users and olive oil have in common? they're both extra virgin. | true |
What type of knot do you tie in space? an astronaut. | true |
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