text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
I know one person who thinks he's an owl. who? now i know two. | true |
How is debbie reynolds like my penis? they both had a stroke when they saw carrie fishers body. | true |
Three mexicans were seen at the border. they were tres passing. | true |
What do you call an adopted ghost? transparent | true |
Kendrick lamar and barack obama shared a powerful moment at the white house | false |
This political 'captain america' mashup is the perfect election explainer | false |
I'm not fat, i'm half-bulemic. i eat everything i see, but i can't throw up. | true |
These 'fargo' and 'the strain' mondo posters are awesome | false |
Cocoon 1 by micasa labs: hang out in this transparent sphere (photos, video) | false |
I don't know how to act my age i've never been this old before. | true |
On the trail of the whales: kodiak, last chance island | false |
A short joke dwarves and midgets have very little in common. | true |
Russian rival offered to lend luge to struggling u.s. silver medalist | false |
When a pregnant woman swims she is literally a human submarine. | true |
Lena dunham shows off lindsay lohan-inspired style on instagram (photos) | false |
Growing up in poverty, my mom was a lot like my anti-depressants... neither of them really worked. | true |
Why did the hydroxyl molecule blow up the us mint? it was a free radical. | true |
What is bruce lee's favourite drink? a fruit punch. | true |
When is a door not a door? when it's a jar. | true |
Común tierra: a journey through sustainable communities of the americas | false |
Zachary quinto uses fake name at starbucks. customer gets steamed. | false |
What do you call an all sikh band? n'singh. | true |
Marital rape is not a crime in india. but one high court judge is pushing for change. | false |
My girlfriend is a porn star. she's going to be so pissed off when she finds out. | true |
Hold on to your spoons, french toast crunch is back! | false |
Watching cookie monster can improve a child's self-control | false |
Fake english town in china: deserted 'thames town' is abandoned... minus the newlyweds | false |
Noelle pikus-pace prepared for her medal unlike any other olympian | false |
How this 60-year-old woman is planning a major film festival on a 'shoestring budget' | false |
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous you're practically begging for typos. | true |
Listen up, dudes! this is how you dress up a suit | false |
Father's day printable cards any dad would appreciate (photos) | false |
Deliver results creating products and services that sell | false |
And now, more pda from bradley cooper and irina shayk | false |
Trump terrible 10: rocket man golf strike blt steak edition | false |
How do jedi plan for retirement? with a hoth ira. i'll see myself out. | true |
Israel and saudi arabia: forging ties on quicksand | false |
What stops your hair from falling? the floor | true |
Another trumpian senate contender links obama to orlando shooting | false |
How do you keep water warn in the winter? have it wear an aqua-fur. | true |
Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account? her balance was outstanding. | true |
Jimmy kimmel finds a fundamental flaw with trump lawyers' attempt to stop book release | false |
What do you call a tortoise in a shell suit? a tortoise. | true |
5 reasons you will fail at working from home | false |
Teen star kenton duty on food allergies and bullying | false |
House passes bill to extend tax relief deadline for the wrongfully convicted | false |
What if we all do not exist and god is alone just imagining us? | true |
Why didn't* the chicken cross the road? because he was too chicken! sorry. | true |
Walking down the street today someone handed me a free air guitar... no strings attached... | true |
Journalist once accused of making up sources arrested for threatening jewish institutions | false |
I like my woman like i like my coffee. without a penis. | true |
Menendez should withdraw from leadership if he faces charges | false |
Viola davis feels like she 'fulfilled a purpose' with historic emmys win | false |
Whoops! pizzeria that refused to cater gay weddings just catered a gay wedding | false |
Floyd mayweather oh wait never mind he can't read. | true |
3 lessons on financial inclusion and the sharing economy | false |
Ariana grande singlehandedly saves tidal with musical impressions on 'snl' | false |
What's the mexican version of the kkk? que? que? que? | true |
You know what i hate the most about suspense? | true |
My teen's only 'passion' is her cell phone! | false |
'avengers: infinity war' writers debunk popular fan theory on thanos | false |
'the fabulous beekman boys' brent ridge on how to shop a flea market | false |
I often fill my water guns with urine and fire them at tightrope walkers. pisses them right off | true |
Iraq special forces of maliki deployed in baghdad | false |
What do you call a hippo in antarctica?! lost!! (i'll show myself out now) | true |
Q: why was a blind man's leg wet? a: her dog was blind too. | true |
Lily collins wears a sweatshirt as a dress to givenchy show in paris (photos) | false |
(-i)^2=-1. moral: if you fiddle with imaginary problems too much, shit's gonna get real. | true |
Gavin pope, 4, is the cutest cnn guest of all time | false |
Why do jews only read the old testament? because they're too cheap to buy the new! *ba-dum-tss* | true |
Now you can endorse political candidates on facebook | false |
If you like the onion, take a look at the ironic times | true |
My safe word is antidisestablishmentarianism. don't worry. i never get laid. | true |
This self-installing car seat promises to make parents' lives easier | false |
I'm pretty certain i'll never be a serial killer, since i don't have a middle name. | true |
Transgender women attacked after leaving brooklyn gay bar | false |
A river runs through a home, and it's totally ok (photo) | false |
So send me a picture of you... *sends* look i need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever. | true |
G-20 communique exposes divide with u.s. on climate policy | false |
Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to? his first mate | true |
Julie andrews almost died filming the 'mary poppins' umbrella scene | false |
'have you no ethics?': anne frank center chief slams cnn's trump surrogate | false |
We prayed for orlando. now, let's never forget orlando | false |
Why the lowest airfare can cost you a bundle | false |
Ukraine at a crossroads: could putin lose his job over mishandling the crisis? | false |
What came first? the chicken or the egg? clearly the chicken. how would an egg orgasm? | true |
When my teen accused me of being old, this is what i did | false |
The 20 colleges with the best campus food | false |
Courageous sea lion visits gift shop, doesn't buy anything | false |
My dog used to chase after people on bike so i took the bike away from him. | true |
Brazil cities paralyzed by nationwide strike against austerity | false |
Hyatt hotels' payment system hacked by credit-card stealing malware | false |
Shoveling snow? how to protect your back (and your heart) | false |
Ben affleck happily reviewing 'batman v superman' means sad affleck is officially dead | false |
15 year olds be like i remember 9/11 | true |
These states are stepping up to reform money in politics in 2016 | false |
Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home. | true |
What do women and rocks have in common? you can skip the flat ones. | true |
What is the difference between a baby and a stamp? i don't have a stamp collection. | true |
The slow life on washington state's lopez island | false |
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