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B: Pick up the telephone and take reassurance that the Telco hasn't turned
off your dial tone yet.
C: Admonish yourself for forgetting to set the MF routing as your alarm
clock the night before.
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For each question that you answered A on, give yourself 5 points. For each
B answer you gave, give yourself 3 points. For each C Answer, give yourself 1
point. Now go back and add up your totals on your handy dandy pocket calculator
and see how you have tested in the G.I.Q (Geek Ignorance Quotient).
50 points and above- You are fucking a amazing, and not just elite, not just
super elite, but super amazingly elite!!!! Pat yourself on the back a few hun-
dred times, you deserve it.
30 points and above- You are not quite as fucking a amazing as those in the
above category, but you're close behind. Keep up the good work and soon you'll
be hearing from the GIQ League!
10 points and above- You are rather sad, because if you haven't realized that
this point scoring system is inaccurate and inefficient, not to mention mathe
matically incorrect, then you should stick to watching Scoody Doo reruns
instead of wasting your time trying to be elite, which will never happen anyway
to anyone who had the ingorance to put up with this worthless exam up till now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! L0ZER!!! YOU JUST WASTED A GOOD PORTION OF YOUR TIME
READING THIS, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOING 2 BE SOMETHING G00d!!!!!!!HAHA
DAMN I'M ELITE&!$"%"C$"!$!#!3223
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==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #8 of 10
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% Phrack Presents... %
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* Computerists Underground News-Tabloid *
% By Crimson Death %
% %
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Welcome to the first issue of Computerist's Underground News-Tabloid. Now,
I am sure you are thinking, "aren't 'news' and tabloid basically synonymous?
Isn't that a bit redundant?". Hell, YES! It is! But "we" don't care. Names
don't mean a DAMNED thing to us! Hell, NO! What we care about it NEEEEWS! Hard-
core, FACTUAL news. That's why we tell it like it is. All Bullsh-t aside. You
don't like what you're seeing? Don't read it! These are the "Bob"-damned facts,
buddy. This is a tough world we live in. Things aren't always as pretty as we'd
like them to be. It's a Dog-Eat-Dog world. If you can't take it, you won't make
it, and it's as simple as that. So read and learn! It's OUR world, and only WE
can change it, so keep informed!
Editor-in-Chief
Crimson Death
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DREADFUL DIGITAL DILEMA
"IT'S TRUE!", say top scientists at South Hampton Institute of Technology,
"Within three years, the world will face its worst dilema in ages." A new
strain of virus called C-AIDS (Computer/Artifical Intelligence Deficiency
System) will begin attacking micro-chips around the globe.
Where is it coming from? Scientists aren't quite sure, but believe it to
be a combination of many industrial waste products that float around in the
air, and human virus! How can this be? Well, that is uncertain right now.
Dr. Harry Koch claims, "We just don't know, but it's comming!" Religious
groups claim it's a sign from God to "slow down". Our resident psychic believes
it's a plague sent down by aliens to hinder us in catching up to their
technology.
Just what will this mean? The downfall of many businesses, government
problems, stock market crash, media troubles! You name it! Almost everything is
run by computers these days. The world will be in shambles. Barbarian times
will set in! People will start using their minds! Something needs to be
done, and QUICK!
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QUICK QUOTES
"IT'S TRUE," says:
Line Breaker, "I ran a Commodore 64 BBS with 100 megabytes of storage!"
American Telephone and Telegraph, "Our rates really ARE the cheapest!"
The Traveller, "My Jackin Box plans work! You just play with the little lever
until it pops up!"
Cheshire Catalyst, "I did play Shaggy on Scooby Doo...but, hey, that's all in
the past now!"
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ROBOT CLONE SEEKS PHREAKS AND TRACKS HACKS
"IT'S TRUE!", say our inside sources, "Bell Telephone Labs is currently
working on a high tech robot to seek out Phone Phreaks and Hackers. I have seen
one...they're almost life like, and it's scary!"