start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1344013480 | 1344369467 | t3_xmlvd | t5_2to41 | 283 | Stalzaable: TIFU by not realizing I owed my school almost two thousand dollars
Yeah. Turns out, my government aid didn't cover a giant portion of my tuition. I fucked up because I didn't check my school email as diligently as I should have, and now I end up owing them 1900$ before I can apply for my courses this fall. ... | 9 | 31.444444 | |
1344016777 | 1344025252 | t3_xmphn | t5_2to41 | 74 | SweetknuckleJunction: TIFU by accusing my boyfriend of receiving pictures of naked girls in his email.
Don't get me wrong, i have absolutely NO problem with him looking at
porn all day if that's what he wants to do.
I just thought that since he was cleaning out his emails they were naked pictures from an actual per... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1344017758 | 1344027511 | t3_xmqif | t5_2to41 | 121 | [deleted]: TIFU and got caught masturbating by my family, twice.
So this morning I woke up and decided to do the business. My door was just slightly cracked, but for the most part closed. My sister walked past and was going to tell me something and didn't knock. The obvious happened.
So here I am a few hours later a... | 6 | 20.166667 | |
1344045895 | 1344147490 | t3_xnhwb | t5_2to41 | 35 | tfa0001: TiFU at my companies intern outing to the bowling alley. Got real drunk and threw up in my bosses shoes... Now looking for a job
canipaybycheck: Give us the whole story!
tfa0001: It's worse than it sounds. I ~~am~~ was a mentor for one if the interns. Me and few other employees were at the bar prior to bowlin... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1344054327 | 1344275947 | t3_xnoub | t5_2to41 | 38 | ivannavp: TIFU by saying sorry
I always fuck up, but today won. So I was told by an acquaintance that said person had died and they were doing the funeral services at her parents house. I get to the house and everything seemed pretty normal, so I was somewhat glad they didn't take it that bad. I go up to the parents a... | 8 | 4.75 | |
1344063202 | 1344303948 | t3_xnuye | t5_2to41 | 1,406 | thebornotaku: TIFU my tongue.
So today, I fucked up my tongue.
I was helping a customer look for something in the grocery store I work at, and the item wasn't on the shelf. It was a certain brand of frozen ravioli that we sell. I told her I'd go in to the walk-in freezer and take a look around. So far, fairly normal. ... | 7 | 200.857143 | |
1344089034 | 1344260963 | t3_xo5hk | t5_2to41 | 29 | LightningFire: TIFU by breaking a glass, then cutting myself, resulting in blood everywhere.
So this is what happened. Last night, my sis went to sleep at our cousin's house, so that left me and my little bro all alone in the house, while my mom worked in the morning. After eating and playing for a while, my bro wanted... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1344088359 | 1344203002 | t3_xo55f | t5_2to41 | 33 | -sarge: TIFU by totaling my car and losing my license a month after I got it
Dot pointed because this will be a lot longer if I don't
- Semi-raining conditions
- Long right turn up to some stoplights, blind corner
- Don't know what speed I was going
- See some cars after the bushes in the way
- "Gee, I should slow... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1344091421 | 1344381107 | t3_xo6v5 | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by totalling my girlfriend's car on the way to prom
Okay, this was a year ago but deal with it.
I was taking her to her senior prom. Following her parents to the place where we were taking pictures. Unfamiliar road to me and I thought there was a left turn light when in reality we had to yield. Three... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1344109233 | 1344293618 | t3_xoksk | t5_2to41 | 72 | rewnskeyp: TIFU by blaming my fart on an old lady.
I am going to hell for this.
I work at this big cafe part time and I was on the till.
This poor frail old lady came up with her tray of drinks and I asked her if she needed help, she said yes.
I took her tray over to her table but I let out the most silent but deadl... | 5 | 14.4 | |
1344141241 | 1344209462 | t3_xpam0 | t5_2to41 | 90 | [deleted]: TIFU by Shooting a roman candle at my neighbor
This happened a while ago before I stumbled upon reddit so bear with me. I had this neighbor with two scum bag children. They would constantly try to jump me AT MY OWN HOUSE (note I have a very numerous knife/sword collection and am trained to use them all) so o... | 5 | 18 | |
1344149426 | 1344224043 | t3_xpfxv | t5_2to41 | 372 | Tankred: TIFU by having a mild overdose of nicotine amd threw up in my dad's prosthetic leg.
Well, my dad and I were insanely bored. I don't have to go back to my tech school for another week, and we were both off of work today. I ran out of dip, so my dad offered me one of those e-cigarettes. I declined (They taste... | 6 | 62 | |
1344112123 | 1344261102 | t3_xon7e | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU while cahiering at Jewel
This didn't happen today, but since I just found this sub I thought it warranted a post. When I was 16 I was a cashier at Jewel, and one day a guy came up to me with a birthday card, flowers, and a gift card. He was friendly-looking, and made small talk about how it was his girl... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1344172170 | 1344213271 | t3_xpomk | t5_2to41 | 116 | locriology: TIFU by sleeping through my flight. About a $700 mistake.
Yeah, I was supposed to chill for about four hours from midnight until 4:00 AM, then take a taxi to catch my 6:00 AM flight. Next thing I know, I'm waking up and it's 5:45 AM. Had to buy a new plane ticket, take a train to another city, stay the n... | 4 | 29 | |
1344181552 | 1344204127 | t3_xptvu | t5_2to41 | 984 | furiouspanda1: TIFU by washing my manlyparts with Cillit Bang.
So today I was tasked with cleaning the shower. Already needing to use the shower, and with a total lack of common sense or prior shower-cleaning experience, I decided to take the "two birds, one stone" route: I would get naked, clean the shower, clean mys... | 7 | 140.571429 | |
1344178112 | 1344233746 | t3_xpro8 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Buried_Dolls: TIFU by busting my knee just to grab a joystick.
This was actually last night, around 9pm.
I was watching a random movie on Netflix and I realized that the joystick went missing. I looked around all over the bed and realized the 1yr old had it. I had on my sandals, the ones that go through the toes and... | 7 | 2.428571 | |
1344188045 | 1344222742 | t3_xpyvc | t5_2to41 | 8 | mrkevin: TIFU my mouth
So I am visiting Astoria away from home, and I brought a normal toothbrush on my travels (as opposed to my nice oral-b electric toothbrush) an thought "I need to brush my teeth for like ten minutes to compensate". I fucked up there. All my gums are bleeding and my tongue is raw meat and also ble... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1344193482 | 1344342218 | t3_xq3pv | t5_2to41 | 65 | 1hotmezz: TIFU by accidentally showing my old boss my tits. For thirty seconds.
Went to show her picture of my new baby on my phone.... Landed on a pic of me naked. It took me half a minute of standing there looking proud before I realized she wasn't looking at my daughter.
trouphaz: Lol. Similar situation for me a w... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1344210160 | 1344305289 | t3_xqis2 | t5_2to41 | 99 | bagelmanb: TIFU by ignoring it when my friend's mother died
My friend's mother just died of cancer a few weeks ago. This is not a friend that I see very often (hardly ever, in fact) and I'm a SAP who dreads the thought of dealing with an awkward situation like the death of a close family member. I also personally would... | 7 | 14.142857 | |
1344229167 | 1344572086 | t3_xqzpj | t5_2to41 | 309 | mcwx3: TIFU when I left out a naked video of myself dancing that my mom found.
It's not what you think. Just kidding, it is. I was bored at home for a few hours and dancing to a song on the radio, and I started wondering what I looked like when I dance naked. So I set up the laptop and do a 2 minute video of me moving... | 6 | 51.5 | |
1344231712 | 1344294310 | t3_xr268 | t5_2to41 | 115 | DestroyedLlama: TIFU by accidentally breaking the safe at work
I was carrying a clipboard full of papers which happened to be quite heavy and I dropped it. Gravity being the heartless bitch that it is, carried it right onto the safe's screen, cracking it. I made a repair order and a few hours later, a tech came, fixed ... | 9 | 12.777778 | |
1344267171 | 1344275369 | t3_xrp2q | t5_2to41 | 2 | ermergerd_Noo: TIFU by nearly shitting my pants during a job interview :(
my interview today for a high end receptionist job went down the toilet (not exactly) so i was getting for my interview but I didn't have time to have lunch so on my way to the building i stopped at a local mom and pop asian burger joint and had ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1344269488 | 1344297075 | t3_xrreo | t5_2to41 | 219 | AngryWiteGuy: TIFU by setting off the fire alarm at weis.
Today, i went into weis to pick up a few things. I check out and see a door closer to me than the one i came in, so i decided to use that door. I open up the door and the loudest alarm ever went off. I was in shock, wondering what happened. Then i saw the sign o... | 4 | 54.75 | |
1344282743 | 1344670933 | t3_xs646 | t5_2to41 | 9 | gronnvikingen: TIFU pictures of our beloved deceased kitty by omitting to make the DA*N backup
A year ago, my girlfriend found an abandoned newborn kitty in the snow (living in Québec, Canada). We got her inside and gave her all the love and care she needed. A few month passes (2-3) and she got sick, after month of tr... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1344291117 | 1344334989 | t3_xsffi | t5_2to41 | 411 | S-Bird: TIFU When All I Wanted To Do Was Impress Some Kids
My friends and I were walking out of one particular friend's house, the morning after a particularly big night. Hung over (and a few of us were still actually drinking, it was about 11am) we were planning to walk down to a local Subway for some breakfast, when ... | 10 | 41.1 | |
1344308115 | 1344311941 | t3_xsx74 | t5_2to41 | 3 | mtblue: TIFU: happened less than 20 minutes ago...
So today I had the day off of work, so obviously I stayed at home and did absolutely nothing but be on the computer all day. Well at about an hour ago I decided to take a shower and then go grocery shopping. While i'm in the shower I decided to shave my legs. So I get ... | 3 | 1 | |
1344309031 | 1344481607 | t3_xsy3r | t5_2to41 | 103 | _neon_reflected: TIFU: vitamin edition :(
Today I took my vitamins (which I never do) on the advice of my wife... for SOME reason I popped them all at once and chewed them (only for a second or two) and now my mouth tastes like fishoil and garlic and some un-namable horrific bitterness that will NOT wash away!
jyhwei50... | 6 | 17.166667 | |
1344310971 | 1344480351 | t3_xt01v | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU by not messing up my encrypted external hard drive with my porn stash on it
I encrypted my external hard drive using truecrypt. It was mounted the other night when my computer restarted suddenly. Started it back up and it would mount but wouldn't open, saying it had to be formatted.
I figured it would... | 8 | 10 | |
1344311470 | 1344372277 | t3_xt0i0 | t5_2to41 | 30 | Sonicdude41: TIFU by accidentally backing into -- and destroying -- a couple's 600 dollar mailbox.
So, I was on my way to a birthday party with a friend. Well, we had gotten lost trying to get there. We'd finally gotten to the street trying to look for the house, and it turns out we had passed it. I decided to tur... | 7 | 4.285714 | |
1344315021 | 1344459585 | t3_xt3qt | t5_2to41 | 49 | touchethedouch3: TIFU on summer vacation
Last night, some friends and i got outrageously fucked up. This morning, I went to the bathroom still half asleep. All I hear is "BEN! WHAT THE FUCK". Someone ran in and turned the lights on. All I saw was the air mattress that my girlfriend and I were sleeping on, and a giant p... | 3 | 16.333333 | |
1344312732 | 1344356812 | t3_xt1mq | t5_2to41 | 0 | dabisnit: TIFU by mixing my pills
A few months ago, I fucked up. I was taking ADHD pills and I think a steroid for a sickness. I was supposed to take 4 ADHD pills (they were new and I was upping the dose to know what my optimal dose was).
I took 4 steroids and 1 ADHD pills.
Massive stomach-ache ensued
darthelmo: AF... | 4 | 0 | |
1344361918 | 1344364995 | t3_xu0uj | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU my beard
For all of my adult life, I was wearing a beard. Sign of both my adulthood and manliness, my goatee demanded the respect of my fellow man. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/Xgz11.jpg) is a picture of how my beard normally looked like. Notice the aura of wisdom and determination that radiates from the b... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1344382152 | 1344409089 | t3_xumt3 | t5_2to41 | 3 | OrionJr: TIFU by showing my family a gigantic cum stain..
I was getting ready to go to a movie with my family, so I put on a random pair of shorts from my closet, shirt and socks etc.. Then I go downstairs and flop down on the couch with my entire family including grandparents..
I must have forgotten the gigantic m... | 3 | 1 | |
1344386569 | 1344407392 | t3_xur7c | t5_2to41 | 244 | backontheinternet: TIFU: Friends, slingshot, and 1 missing tooth.
Today My Friends Fucked Up. It began as a regular summer day. Had my friend over. There wasn't much going on at home so we were rather bored and decide to bike to another friend's house. After a couple of hours of all 3 of us hanging out, our 4th mutu... | 8 | 30.5 | |
1344398196 | 1344420774 | t3_xv339 | t5_2to41 | 115 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to speak normally with a half-deaf child.
I was volunteering at a local soccer camp for kids, aged 5-12. Since it was a long weekend here in Ontario (Civic Holiday), I was familiarizing myself with the kids.
So this particular young'un is by himself, applying sunblock, and being the naturally... | 3 | 38.333333 | |
1344402287 | 1344449590 | t3_xv73f | t5_2to41 | 30 | Jaelynnn: TIFU by puking all over my friend and her family in an eight hour car ride.
Okay this happened last year, but I'm just now discovering this subreddit and I didn't fuck up anything (that badly) today.
Every single part of me wishes I could tell you "It's not what it sounds like." But sadly, it is. We were on ... | 3 | 10 | |
1344443032 | 1344469903 | t3_xvy66 | t5_2to41 | 801 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally texting "I love you" to a guy I've been on three dates with. What the fuck, brain.
How do you even bounce back from that? I don't think you can, man.
He had texted me the same time my best friend texted me. My birthday is on Friday and she mentioned she made plans for us, so I was exci... | 9 | 89 | |
1344460293 | 1344895064 | t3_xwi6v | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally forwarding my ultra conservative advisor an e-mail discussing a potential threesome with people on craigslist. I couldn't undo it.
**Professor**
This professor was not only my mentor & advisor, but I worked with her both as teacher's assistant and research assistant. She helped me pi... | 3 | 23.333333 | |
1344465912 | 1344499656 | t3_xwo8f | t5_2to41 | 12 | JesusofTorn: TIFU with a Hi-lift jack.
So today I was at my parents house helping them hang some old pictures and some of my dad's old campaign plaques. He wanted his Operation Granby (UK Version of US Operation Desert Shield) hung higher than all the rest and about 2ft out of my reach. So being the genius that I am I ... | 3 | 4 | |
1344475550 | 1344530039 | t3_xwxyz | t5_2to41 | 105 | Boots_And_Boys: TIFU by smoking half a pack of cigarettes in 45 minutes after 2 years of quitting.
I quit smoking when I was 17 because I realised the obvious health ramifications, I went cold turkey and never touched one until this day.
About an hour ago, after about a month of serious anxiety and terror over the pos... | 6 | 17.5 | |
1344487530 | 1344561154 | t3_xx9vg | t5_2to41 | 411 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost causing my parents to get a divorce.
This morning, I was on my way to my morning classes and, upon realizing I didn't have my binder with work in it, I had to go back home to retrieve it right? Well my mom had already gone to work and I walked in, probably only 10 minutes after I left, and whe... | 17 | 24.176471 | |
1344482893 | 1344805565 | t3_xx5ji | t5_2to41 | 97 | Pvt_Studmuffin: TIFU by unknowingly masturbating in front of an open window facing a busy street with many passersby.
When I went out for a cigarette right afterwards, I got many a nasty looks.
What ridiculous and embarrassing ways have you people of reddit been caught 'polishing the sceptor'
WeekendOfSurvival: I was... | 5 | 19.4 | |
1344544943 | 1344572928 | t3_xyivi | t5_2to41 | 115 | HeartlessSkeleton_: TIFU by accidentally singing "Sexy Naughty Bitchy" in front of the child I was babysitting.
The parents are family friends of my dad and they all went to see a movie. I'm not much of a movie person, so I decided I'd take the liberty of watching their five year old daughter.
About thirty minutes we... | 5 | 23 | |
1344567061 | 1344636424 | t3_xz5qj | t5_2to41 | 397 | asnof: TIFU, I laughed at an inappropriate time
Today I was at a safety meeting for work. The topic came to txting and driving. There was an accident that involved a semi and a corvette. The boss said there was a very graphic image and she wanted it passed around. Well here I am getting all giddy and then I see it.... | 9 | 44.111111 | |
1344565273 | 1345074801 | t3_xz3xw | t5_2to41 | 11 | ChaosTheosis: TIFU by ruining a possibility to get laid. Would be nice
if you guys could give me a hand, I really need it.
Okay first of all this didn't happen today but let's pretend it did, ok? There was no such thing as "2 weeks ago I fucked up", so for the sake of it, ignore that it didn't happen today.
My friend... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1344500359 | 1344586705 | t3_xximy | t5_2to41 | 2 | CR00KS: TIFU by putting the wrong kind of salt
I work at a place that serves pretzels and popcorn, I was working back bar and was bored as hell, so I decide to restock some things.
I began with the salt for the popper machine, it's kept right outside the popcorn machine and I guess one container was too big to refill ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1344571958 | 1344614428 | t3_xzaka | t5_2to41 | 330 | throwaway6421511: TIFU by Shitting My Pants in Car, Stopping up Burger King Toilet, Dropping Poop on the Floor, and Costing my Aunt $50
So, today my Aunt Jen took my brother Trey, my grandmom, and I to the beach for the day. I had an English Muffin for breakfast, and it made my stomach upset. I tried to go to the bathr... | 9 | 36.666667 | |
1344575722 | 1344585124 | t3_xzdu8 | t5_2to41 | 14 | whywoulda: TIFU and ordered several packages to my childhood home, where I haven't lived in over 6 years.
I'm kinda pissed, because I'm pretty much out $50. I still live nearby, but I really don't feel like randomly knocking on their door and asking for my shifty ass packages.
I don't have a phone number or anything.... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1344545717 | 1344613497 | t3_xyjr7 | t5_2to41 | 21 | foreverburning: TIFU by trying to juggle 2 jobs.
I've been at my current job as a receptionist for about 2 years. It's always been a really laid back environment, where respect given is respect earned. I never had trouble shuffling shifts as long as advanced notice was given and an attempt was made to make up lost hou... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1344639379 | 1345310356 | t3_y0s8q | t5_2to41 | 70 | ohgoshwhathaveidone: TIFU by calling a girl fat
After honestly telling a girl she isn't fat, I thought that served as a qualifier for making a fat joke shortly afterward. Then it escalated into more bad jokes, and I ended up badmouthing her accomplishments as well.
timeleaper76: I had a simular thing happen. But it wa... | 4 | 17.5 | |
1344657462 | 1344680271 | t3_y17qi | t5_2to41 | 739 | HeartlessSkeleton_: TIFU by drinking an entire box of Capri-Suns
Let me just go ahead and say here that I'm addicted to these fuckers.
Ever since I was a tot, I've loved Capri-Suns. To me, they're urine from the angels. I cannot get enough, plus those pouches are so damn TINY.
My dad decided he'd get me a box. I was ... | 11 | 67.181818 | |
1344665914 | 1344811855 | t3_y1eax | t5_2to41 | 34 | keightalchemist: TIFU by honking at someone who stopped in the
middle of an intersection. Didn't see the paramedics
speeding through to the hospital.
Kaibunny143: (Start this off by mentioning I live on a Military Base)
I did this too. There were a bunch of cars stopped where they were and I gave a few the finger, ... | 5 | 6.8 | |
1344625654 | 1345001618 | t3_y0ehg | t5_2to41 | 21 | SplinterV2: TIFU: Recommended A Girl A Game
Ok, I'm in a computer store and I'm looking at the game section of it.
I see this really hot girl looking for games. I strike up a conversation with her and we hit it off. Thing's are going good and we start talking about what games we like.
She said she likes Portal 2, Skyri... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1344689927 | 1344732612 | t3_y1o9p | t5_2to41 | 59 | BrawndoTTM: TIFU petting a Pommeranian
They may be tiny and adorable but damn if those little fuckers don't have sharp teeth. How could anything that looks so much like a teddy bear be so vicious?
CatastropheJohn: I've been bitten three times.. Three different pommeranians. The owner allows them close enough for me ... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1344718314 | 1345002361 | t3_y29pc | t5_2to41 | 120 | [deleted]: TIFU By breaking my brothers leg
My mum and dad had bought me and my older brother a new trampoline for our back garden.
Me and him were playing a game of football on it (stupid idea, i know) and as i went to tackle the ball off him, i pushed him off the edge of the trampoline and he landed on his leg badly... | 6 | 20 | |
1344735392 | 1345031882 | t3_y2o99 | t5_2to41 | 399 | paki123: TIFU by eating an entire Pizza Hut $10 Dinner box
This deal is so fuckin good tho... the shits I'm getting right now aren't :(
Purecheetodust: That's not fucking up, that's winning.
cuddlefucker: I'm seeing a lot of "That's not fucking up" on this sub lately.
Beardoski: Seeing a lot of "not fucking up" is fuck... | 9 | 44.333333 | |
1344721557 | 1344821745 | t3_y2cmj | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by Spicing up my Dr. Pepper with Tabasco Sauce
Why, you ask? Because free brownies. For the longer version:
Best friend and I were eating at "Earl of Sandiwch", a magical place of delicious food and other goodies.
I mention how good their brownie bites look, and he offers to buy them for me if I drin... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1344790772 | 1344840774 | t3_y3kcs | t5_2to41 | 467 | Pandalism: TIFU my foot
...by gouging a 1cm^2 hole in it with one of [a plastic outlet cover](http://www.reinhartelectric.net/documents/plastic_plug.jpg). I will no longer have sympathy for anyone who complains about stepping on a Lego when they were a kid.
proffesorrab: It must've been an electrifying experience...
Va... | 14 | 33.357143 | |
1344794742 | 1345626396 | t3_y3nny | t5_2to41 | 217 | KingBerger14: TIFU by throwing my moonpie out of my window.
Being the fatass I am, I grabbed a moonpie to have in the car. As I'm driving, I have the moonpie in the other hand, and drop a crumb onto my unwashed car floor. Since I have to keep a hand on the wheel, I use my moonpie hand to pick up the crumb and attempt t... | 6 | 36.166667 | |
1344804317 | 1345360746 | t3_y3wha | t5_2to41 | 16 | MaYAL_terEgo: TIFU My vision by trying MDMA (Ecstasy) for the first time in my life.
After some panicked googling, I found that I probably have HPPD. Visual static everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I'm looking at life through a shitty static TV screen now and its driving me crazy. And there is no cure. Some sites I've read says... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1344797880 | 1344823167 | t3_y3qls | t5_2to41 | 46 | Sir_Dude: TIFU My back left tire
In a parking lot at a mall, I backed into a curb at an angle and it blew out my back left tire.
I was trying to back up into one of the 'aisles' of the parking lot so that I could turn around and avoid having to drive all the way to the other side of the lot to exit. I guess I should h... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1344803184 | 1344895503 | t3_y3vg2 | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting black-out drunk last night surrounded by my family.
No idea what I said or did, and I feel like shit today. To make matters worse I work for my uncle, so my boss was there...
My mom said I "didn't say anything bad" and my dad said "Those are good things to talk about, just not while drunk" b... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1344819381 | 1344862218 | t3_y4ab5 | t5_2to41 | 363 | InsertRelevantMeme: TIFU by snorting my own belly button fluff
About ten minutes ago i was laying on my bed, picked a big fucker of fluff and dirt from my belly button went to smell it being the dirty bastard that i am and snorted the cunt in. It went all the way and i realised how disgusting do have to be to do this.... | 7 | 51.857143 | |
1344837748 | 1344904120 | t3_y4rmk | t5_2to41 | 81 | The_D0ctah: TIFU bye changing in front of an open window.
The title says it all. On the way back to my room there are a bunch standing outside the building for god knows why, and my friend reminds me to shut the curtain before I change. So what's the first thing I do when I get back to my room? I change in front of the... | 5 | 16.2 | |
1344880423 | 1344905254 | t3_y5kw1 | t5_2to41 | 57 | tifu7years: TIFU by hooking up with a girl I've known for almost 8 years
Yep got frisky in the bedroom and ended up hooking up with one of my best friends of 8 years. No condom and I pulled out, but it was sketchy. Feelin' good, but i dunno what we're going to do now...I don't really want to have a relationship with ... | 6 | 9.5 | |
1344833593 | 1344904823 | t3_y4o1z | t5_2to41 | 15 | TheWinrar: TIFU running up the stairs
Wiped out, both my legs hurt like a mother. I put a cold-pack on, but I'll probably be very sore tomorrow :(
Isaac_The_Khajiit: Wrap yourself in a blanket and inch around on your belly like a caterpillar until your legs heal.
is_a_caterpillar: Remember to go to sleep in a fully sea... | 3 | 5 | |
1344884145 | 1353085112 | t3_y5ozi | t5_2to41 | 2,113 | DeuceActual: TIFU by running over my boss.
I am (was?) a multimedia editor at an e-learning development company.
My boss is the manifestation of a fat, loathsome, jerk off.
I was running an hour late, because fuck, and may have been driving somewhat recklessly trying to get to work as fast as possible.
I cover the 3... | 11 | 192.090909 | |
1344881794 | 1348174595 | t3_y5mgj | t5_2to41 | 22 | redvelvetmock: TIFU by inadvertently inquiring as to a car salesman's intelligence.
At my local carmax I was looking around for a smart fortwo and couldn't find one. So, without thinking, I walked up to the sales rep and asked "You wouldn't happen to have any smarts, would you?" Needless to say, black men don't take k... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1344892827 | 1345004854 | t3_y5yud | t5_2to41 | 10 | theultralobster: IFU by spending all the money I had on a Master Sword.
Last Saturday I went to the Renaissance Fair with some friends. At one point in the day we went into a weapons shop. There we many badass things in there, and the thing that caught my eye most was a replica of the Master Sword from The Legend of Ze... | 5 | 2 | |
1344893214 | 1344981432 | t3_y5z9c | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping a 4,000 dollar piece of survey equipment into a body of water while on the job. I am still in my probationary period.
Said equipment no longer works.
daedone: If it makes you feel better, I inadvertently caused our RDS locator to get run over by a loader about a month ago...The day after I a... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1344893887 | 1345175355 | t3_y5zz6 | t5_2to41 | 18 | galtor2: TIFU Went to strip club, spent a thousand from my credit card
Used a bunch of cash advances against my credit card, spent a thousand or more. Couldn't find a taxi, walked several miles. Must have blacked out, eventually I ended up home.
stevefigjam: That sounds like a great story pal! Photos, Witness Reports... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1344892685 | 1344939642 | t3_y5ynv | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu my car, right after fixing it.
My radiator had a crack in it. Instead of paying them $600, I put a new one in myself and saved hundreds of dollars. Things were good. My husband and I decided to go out to eat and while driving there, a crazy Japanese driver came speeding down a narrow road. I quickly mov... | 3 | 1 | |
1344896978 | 1344910465 | t3_y63ed | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU a close friendship
I was sleeping in, when a friend of mine that I've been on awkward territory with(we used to date, broke it off as friends when we left for college) showed up at my door. My mom answered and tried to get me to go talk to him, but I didn't really realize who it was in my sleepy state a... | 4 | 1 | |
1344891687 | 1345175407 | t3_y5xk0 | t5_2to41 | 111 | Class_Is_For_Men: TIFU porn style at work
Decided to rub one out before work at my house. I finish and instead of quitting the program I just closed my computer. I drop my computer in my bag and forget all about it. About 2 hours into my shift, I work at a Dairy Queen, I get bored and pull out my computer. With my fema... | 7 | 15.857143 | |
1344906212 | 1345149115 | t3_y6cyd | t5_2to41 | 26 | telephonepictionary: TIFU by driving the company van into a car.
What's worse is that I haven't worked there too long and one of the reasons they hired me was my "skill" of driving large vans. I was backing up down a one-lane alley when I hear a "crunch" and a car has its mirror missing.
The gentleman whose car it was... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1344922673 | 1344963252 | t3_y6taz | t5_2to41 | 79 | ViciousVixen: TIFU by getting drunk and telling my best friend that I'm crazy about him...
I'm really drunk right now (one bottle of wine, plus one beer, plus one more glass of wine and counting!) so please, do not judge my grammar/typos. I really need to vent...
So three months ago, my neighbor's son moved in with hi... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1344927406 | 1344980296 | t3_y6wra | t5_2to41 | 4 | VelveetaBloodfucker: TIFU by spray painting my door
I wanted to paint a [gold cross](http://sleevage.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/justice_cross_cover.jpg) on the back of my bedroom door. I ended up getting paint all over the floor, my bedroom is covered in a cloud of paint fume, and the door looks terrible now.
286B... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1344919457 | 1345170434 | t3_y6qiw | t5_2to41 | 64 | Universus: TIFU by putting weed paraphernalia in the wrong car at work...and now that car is gone.
My pothead coworker brought his grinder into work and asked me to take it out to his car on break. He just bought a new red car. My mind was elsewhere at the moment and I hit the keyless entry, heard something unlock, ope... | 6 | 10.666667 | |
1344961134 | 1344975003 | t3_y7inv | t5_2to41 | 3 | CatrionaBarr: TIFU by putting trash in the laundry
TIFU ok mom told me to get my lazy ass up and moving. So I got up took a shower and put my PJs back on because I had no more clean clothes and because I just woken up being the dumb ass I am in the mourning do the laundry I noticed my mom said her bed sheets needed c... | 3 | 1 | |
1344961076 | 1345044235 | t3_y7ilh | t5_2to41 | 730 | jdmf87: TIFU by mentioning I wanted to go back to school
Told my boss, in passing, I was thinking about going to grad school "eventually" and that I was "feeling out long-term options." Now they are looking for my replacement and taking away responsibilities because I'm a "bad investment."
I'm not going to grad school... | 7 | 104.285714 | |
1344984614 | 1345074552 | t3_y89kz | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU My Arm... With a soldering iron...
So my mum came home the other night from dinner with her friends. She goes to my dad and says that her necklace broke and she was wondering if he could fix it.
Fast forward to this morning: My dad is in the kitchen trying to fix the necklace and I go to get someth... | 4 | 3 | |
1344971426 | 1345052493 | t3_y7ugt | t5_2to41 | 35 | HerrKarlMarco: TIFU by getting my dick caught in my zipper.
Pretty much as it sounds. Headed to the bathroom on break, whipped it out, did my business, and as I was zipping my pants back up the skin got caught in the zipper. Of course, it hurt like hell, I panicked and thought it'd be a great idea to pull the two apart... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1344975891 | 1345003840 | t3_y7zo9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | allhailzorp: TIFU and pissed off my two best friends
This summer I managed to score an excellent summer job, working with two people who I've grown very close to over the past two months. My responsibility is fundraising, their responsibility is design and development (architecture firm). They ended up being the contac... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1344900411 | 1345105704 | t3_y66wx | t5_2to41 | 9 | Mojocho: TIFU Spilled an entire bottle of leather stainer all over furniture the day before moving out
Was making a leather belt and staining it, when I knocked off a quart of mahogany leather stain over a couch, tiled floor, and wooden table the day before I have to move out. There goes my security deposit.
Fergmaster... | 3 | 3 | |
1345012974 | 1345157779 | t3_y90vt | t5_2to41 | 93 | sarabration: TIFU by locking myself out of my apartment, and then kicking the door in...
I stepped out to change the laundry and locked the door. Wasn't really mad or anything, just didn't want to knock on the neighbor's door and ask to call the landlord, so I kicked the door...
xhosSTylex: Did you have a fucking warra... | 11 | 8.454545 | |
1345057732 | 1345085594 | t3_y9xyu | t5_2to41 | 839 | bunnyUFO: TIFU by taking the bigger stall at a public bathroom
I was at Fred Meyers and I needed to take a crap, so I went to the bathroom and took the bigger stall because "why not?" So I take the bigger stall and a dude in wheelchair comes in shortly after... Apparently he cant take crap unless he uses the bigger st... | 9 | 93.222222 | |
1345059312 | 1345064436 | t3_y9zrr | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by destroying one of my parent's favorite paintings.
I certainly fucked up.
**The fuckup backstory:** about a year ago I moved into a 3 bedroom house with a good friend of mine. My friend had very little furniture at the time, aside from his mattress and bedframe. Luckily my parents were nice enough t... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1345079063 | 1345277530 | t3_yali8 | t5_2to41 | 125 | ThrowiestOfThrowaway: TIFU and shat all over the back of my shorts
Well, I've always hoped I'd never have to post here, but it seems my time has finally come. This happened in the last hour or so and I'm still pretty steeped in shame. So here's what happened:
My stomach has been a bit dodgy recently and admittedly I ... | 5 | 25 | |
1345078843 | 1345231232 | t3_yala2 | t5_2to41 | 39 | devils69advocate: TIFU by asking someone if their date was going to spit on them
I was speaking to the receptionist at work today. Unrelated to the conversation, she asks if I ever hit my ex. I said "no", with a confused look on my face. Then she asked if I ever spit on her. Assuming she wanted to speak to me about som... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1345141456 | 1345159106 | t3_ybz9e | t5_2to41 | 105 | [deleted]: TIFU and broke my toe
I broke my toe (late last night) at the gym. I was planning to take a 25 pound plate off the bar but instead grabbed the 45 lb plate behind it which slid the 25er off first onto my foot from shoulder height. Needless to say, it hurt a lot. All because I was taking 5 seconds to look at a... | 5 | 21 | |
1345162411 | 1345204396 | t3_yclbf | t5_2to41 | 89 | ShutThatShitUp: Today I fucked up and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face.
da_man_made_of_bread: Aah man, you hit your girlfriend's mom in the face with your ball. ;)
ShutThatShitUp: Hahaha. I certainly did
ReallyRandomRabbit: Why'd you delete it?
ShutThatShitUp: It got removed
| 5 | 17.8 | |
1345164961 | 1345258852 | t3_ycntm | t5_2to41 | 151 | GoldenGangsta66: TIFU by going into the ocean, with my new cell phone.
Not really today but a week ago I was at the beach with my cousins, my aunt, my mom, and my sister. Me and my younger cousin were boogie boarding on the beach and were having so much fun. I saw a couple of friends and said hi to them then I put my h... | 10 | 15.1 | |
1345170543 | 1345201471 | t3_ycti5 | t5_2to41 | 28 | republiquefrancaise: TIFU by cutting extremely hot chilies with my bare hands...
My hands are still burning and it's been 12 hours.
Pickledpaws: There was a girl at my friends job who did that.
She had to pee, but she forgot to wash her hands, she came out of the bathroom crying about how she got pepper on her snatch.... | 4 | 7 | |
1345174559 | 1345552255 | t3_ycxf0 | t5_2to41 | 21 | celester: TIFU when repairing my washing machine
Our washing machine was making a grinding sound when draining, so I ended up pulling the machine off its pedestal, tipping it on its side, tearing it apart and pulled out the pump, taking off the two pipes and the power cord connected to it.
Inside was a quarter causin... | 7 | 3 | |
1345208006 | 1345218384 | t3_ydhb2 | t5_2to41 | 638 | [deleted]: TIFU I left my microphone on during an international web conference...while I was fighting with my boyfriend about his porn usage
My boss had to mute me and send me an instant message. I have no idea how long my microphone was on for however I also went into the details of my porn usage. Oh yeah, and I'm als... | 7 | 91.142857 | |
1345172067 | 1345505043 | t3_ycuzf | t5_2to41 | 11 | refewz: TIFU trying to cash a counterfeit check
The risk management department at BofA told me that my account was removed because I had tried to cash a counterfeit check. For me, this is the end of a weird story that began over a month ago on Craigslist.
I posted an ad on Craigslist offering tutoring, and someone res... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1345211730 | 1345383080 | t3_ydk5r | t5_2to41 | 40 | WholeWideWorld: TIFU. I was cycling to my last exam and ended up in A&E and missed my exam and now I'm forced to intercalate.
My front wheel buckled.
Intercalate means leave university for a year until the next assessment period rolls around. Fuck. On the other hand, a year out could do me good. Its just the fac... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1345225514 | 1345245487 | t3_ydxua | t5_2to41 | 2 | Basoran: TIFU I was on bottom
vaporizor: You suck at joke telling.
Basoran: You have no sense of humor. Judging from your other comments you are also young, mildly informed, rarely socialized, and afraid.
Maybe if you get over yourself, and enjoy the present, you won't fear the future.
vaporizor: The butt hurt is... | 5 | 0.4 | |
1345205978 | 1345235217 | t3_ydg0r | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU and got my hair stuck in a fan.
I was in my room bored as shit. I turned this small fan on and started talking into it and making weird alien noises. I was trying to sound like Darth Vader and I said,"Luke I am your father." But got too close and my hair got sucked into the fan. I yelled for someone to ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1345232012 | 1345297741 | t3_ye4u5 | t5_2to41 | 20 | mardob: TIFU and lost my wallet
I was walking across a huge bridge and stopped to look at the view. Suddenly I had the greatest urge to throw something off the bridge, just to see it fly-fly with the wind! My right hand fished up my wallet from my back pocket, and I leant over the rail as I looked for a receipt or a st... | 4 | 5 |
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