start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1342920327 | 1342999175 | t3_wy52o | t5_2to41 | 53 | geckoone: TIFU by trying to slice off my foot with a mirror - [NSFL]
While moving an old mirror out of the garage, the mirror frame separated and the mirror fell out.
Good news is the mirror did not break.
Bad news is, it sliced into my leg just above the ankle. 10 stitches!
http://imgur.com/a/Ptsyw
breenisgreen: Well... | 5 | 10.6 | |
1342915881 | 1343201334 | t3_wy1jx | t5_2to41 | 36 | brody10123: TIFU I made a little kid cry on accident and got the shit beat out of me by five guys.
This happened the other day at camp.
One of my friends told a ten year old to "beat me up". He then started to kick/punch me in the back and dick. He jumped on my back and I shook him off. He fell on his back and started... | 4 | 9 | |
1342916891 | 1343014897 | t3_wy2d0 | t5_2to41 | 36 | mokoshina: TIFU by cutting a chunk off my left thumb at work
Well on friday really. I was chopping some herbs for the day at work was in the first 30 mins of work, and managed to have my thumb in the wrong place as my knife came down and sliced a good 1.5cm chunk clean off. Had to take the rest of the day off, and now ... | 6 | 6 | |
1342950861 | 1342982578 | t3_wyndw | t5_2to41 | 699 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a text to a girl before reading it back to myself.
Her name is Eulah and I thought it would be funny:
>Yoolah!
>
>How are you-lah?
>
>Personally I'm betaa,
>
>Than I usually am by faaar,
>
>I know it's quite lateeeerr,
>
>Than a normal person would text on a ... | 12 | 58.25 | |
1342968734 | 1343012761 | t3_wyuek | t5_2to41 | 77 | iliketoquestion: TIFU by leaving the camera with all of our honeymoon pictures in the plane
Married the love of my life. Really looking forward to our honeymoon. It was amazing. Left the camera with every single fu**ing picture under the seat in front of me in the plane.
[deleted]: And that's why you upload everything... | 3 | 25.666667 | |
1342986979 | 1343072771 | t3_wz8m1 | t5_2to41 | 19 | --Caius--: TIFU by totaling my truck
Simply lost control, ran into wet grass and mud, hit someone's driveway to the point I was airborne for a few seconds before coming down on some small trees that tore the fuel lines in my truck and started a fire. All while being perfectly okay, and watching my most prized possessio... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1343003050 | 1343003961 | t3_wzn59 | t5_2to41 | 3 | asnof: TIFU Cussing out my best friend
Well we got drunk last night and she tried to ditch me, I heard her say this. Then I peaced out and walked home. My phone was dead on the way home and I passed out the second I got to bed. I woke up still drunk and mad. I sent her this
"Umm you fucking tried to hook me up wit... | 3 | 1 | |
1343029178 | 1343047155 | t3_x08zu | t5_2to41 | 38 | Pescad0r: TIFU by putting my iPod through the washing machine.
It's currently sitting in a bag of rice. Dammit.
Edit: it works after a day of sitting in rice! :D
Edit 2: Fuck me sideways; it only works when it's plugged in like in the picture. :(
http://i.imgur.com/JIpCH.jpg
Tarkaan: Whenever I read these, I think... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1343040888 | 1343611992 | t3_x0e6v | t5_2to41 | 297 | NoAttentionAtWrk: TIFU by texting one of my female friends a link to a porno instead of a funny video cos i misspelled the tinyurl from my cell
So yea...that happened....
snuggle92: I wish someone would text me in porn....
In all seriousness, i hope she understood the error and saw some humor in the situation :).
NoAt... | 10 | 29.7 | |
1343066596 | 1343094189 | t3_x0z23 | t5_2to41 | 100 | Werepez: TIFU by selling 17 items at my store for $25 less than they were worth, putting us $425 short.
These items are $65 normally, but they were in a box where items are *normally* sold for $40. I've never sold this particular brand, so I assumed they were $40 like everything else in that box. This all happened on S... | 6 | 16.666667 | |
1343092486 | 1343233774 | t3_x12a6 | t5_2to41 | 10 | party_thighs: I find it strange that there isn't a garbage can in the bathroom..
do you have a bidet or something? or maybe someone was cleaning the garbage can?
RobotPolarbear: I'm guessing you live outside the US. In most places in the US we flush our toilet paper so bathroom trash cans are really only necessary f... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1343071403 | 1343162329 | t3_x14ey | t5_2to41 | 15 | Dragonfucker69: TIFU badly, like badly badly badly
So I was in my local bar http://www.7is7.com/otto/estonia/helme_cave.html
And I met a guy, we talked for quite a while became close.
So I thought bringing it another level with him, so we did.
Turns out he was a dragon, and now I have herpes. Im screwed.
KulaanDoDino... | 12 | 1.25 | |
1343068107 | 1343249771 | t3_x10oc | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU: My money fell into a toilet full of piss.
I had a wad of money in my shitty back pocket when I went to the bathroom. As I was pulling my pants up, the money fell out of my pocket and into the pissy toilet. Now the silver lining here is that it is my toilet at home, so no gross public bathroom shit to d... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1343073879 | 1343276462 | t3_x1743 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my girlfriend try to open my penis like a sliding keyboard cell phone
My girlfriend went to reach into my pocket to find my cell phone. It had a sliding keyboard. Instead of opening my cell phone, accidentally put her thumb into my urethra and tride to slide my dick open...
LowSanityPoints: *... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1343069604 | 1343325160 | t3_x12cg | t5_2to41 | 387 | Marowak: TIFU by calling an ambulance with my penis.
Basically, my friend had her grandmother's old mobile phone because she had misplaced hers. It was a chunky grey brick with a really big number pad, a very bright screen, and an enormous red button on the back which was to be pressed if she ever fell down (or had any... | 8 | 48.375 | |
1343080725 | 1343161968 | t3_x1elx | t5_2to41 | 149 | insomni666: TIFU: Went in wrong door of rock/punk club and ended up onstage.
I'm sure I'll laugh about this later, but for now I think I'm STILL flushing.
I used google maps to direct me to this rock/punk club I wanted to check out. Followed the directions to a T. I found it easily enough; it was in the middle of a ro... | 5 | 29.8 | |
1343091133 | 1343247738 | t3_x1pcl | t5_2to41 | 38 | SkylineR33FTW: TIFU By Nearly Having To Have My Foot Amputated
So this was over the course of a few days, but the main FU happened today.
I was walking out of my bedroom on Saturday and managed to slightly stub my toe against my bed (or so i thought) but i thought nothing of it, the next day the entire toe (being the ... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1343074334 | 1343605749 | t3_x17kt | t5_2to41 | 16 | Uranus_Hz: TIFU: Spilled water on my macbook, possibly NSFW
So this actually happened about a week ago, but this is my first chance to post.
The wife and I were on vacation, having some fun sexytimes when she suggests getting the laptop and watching porn. I am happy to oblige, so I set my bottle of water on the hea... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1343102096 | 1343163038 | t3_x20bh | t5_2to41 | 41 | Planner_Hammish: TIFU If you slice up 30 habanero peppers without wearing gloves... you're going to have a bad time.
So I wanted to make an oil infusion with a bag of habaneros that I had in the fridge. I cut up all of them (resulting in an uncompressed 250ml or so of habanero pepper), operating the knife with my right... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1343099768 | 1343137463 | t3_x1xym | t5_2to41 | 10 | michaelmike_: TIFU by spraying A1 Steak Sauce in my eye
Was shaking the bottle, as it says, and the cap was loose. Needless to say, it went straight for my eye, and i couldn't see for an hour out of that eye. Oh the tasty, tasty pain.
[deleted]: thats not a fhck up that's just something stupid that happened to you get... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1343152987 | 1343155037 | t3_x31cz | t5_2to41 | 8 | nuclearfreak: TIFU at my first job. Its my fourth week
I'm fresh out of college and have started working as a programmer for one of the top software companies in the world. Unlike my other friends who have just joined, I have to learn as well as work for their upcoming release. Hard enough, especially since I'm the onl... | 4 | 2 | |
1343159176 | 1343163138 | t3_x38jk | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU trying to pay tips with my debit card
in a cozy restaurant i payed with my debit card and actually wanted to give tips. i told the waitress that she could charge my debit card with an amount 15% higher than listed on the bill. however she declined to do so and i did not understand why. so it was quite a... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1343167427 | 1343180065 | t3_x3hqv | t5_2to41 | 319 | meiswhoiam: TIFU by hitting my grandfather with a log...
So I was helping cut, chop, and split wood at my grandpa's house today and he likes to supervise, since he can't really do anything any more. So I was throwing wood onto the trailer after it was cut, my cousin was there helping, and one piece was a tad lighter t... | 12 | 26.583333 | |
1343178943 | 1343185458 | t3_x3tmd | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: a few weeks ago IFU by kicking the lieutenant governor of New Jersey (pic included)
rya11111: removed due to violation of rule 1. please repost! .. even though you fucked up long ago, mention that in the content of the post ... just say "not actually fucked up today but a few back .. " or something ..
Wack... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1343185867 | 1343268796 | t3_x40s0 | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: TIFU by kicking the lieutenant governor of New Jersey (pic included)
It was a few weeks ago, but I still feel so absolutely horrible about it. I was on stage for an event with her, and she was going to give me an oath of office. It was just for some government camp, I wasn't actually going into office or any... | 7 | 13 | |
1343192282 | 1343256797 | t3_x4715 | t5_2to41 | 39 | stuck_at_starbucks: TIFU and knocked over a ladder while I was standing on it then destroyed half a library.
I was in the law library (me becoming a lawyer=America is doomed) trying to get a book off the highest shelf so I climbed up on a ladder. While up there, I realized I needed another book from the top shelf that ... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1343199513 | 1343272106 | t3_x4cp0 | t5_2to41 | 13 | thefran: TIFU by failing to see the difference between a regular ivy and a poison one.
Also, TIL I'm extremely allergic to the latter.
xGen0: Well, you could look at the bright side - you didn't roll through a bunch of [Nettles](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle)
TACOfarmerXD: Salad fingers
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1343233181 | 1344295095 | t3_x4y17 | t5_2to41 | 1,302 | AnandaUK: TIFU by letting the kid I was babysitting make her own macaroni and cheese.
I was babysitting this 12 y.o. girl whose mother owns a gas station/store. Their house was attached at the back of the store, really just a few bedrooms and a bathroom as the store itself had a very large kitchen for them to use when ... | 10 | 130.2 | |
1343192938 | 1343247591 | t3_x47lt | t5_2to41 | 2 | nick09490: TIFU by missing my phone interview for an internship.
I set up my phone interview at 11 am CST even though I'm in California. But because I was Redditing and watching TV until three in the morning, I overslept. The crazy part about it is I woke up 2 hours after she called me. I failed and FU!
howie1280: Alt... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1343245158 | 1343528980 | t3_x5bis | t5_2to41 | 349 | ChronicFapperThroway: TIFU by masturbating in the staff bathroom and forgetting to lock the door.
My boss (female, I'm male) walked in on me jerkin' my gherkin at work while I was trying to relieve sexual tension. We haven't made eye contact since and I don't know how I'm going to make it right, if there is a way. I en... | 10 | 34.9 | |
1343251555 | 1343266270 | t3_x5ivo | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU Talked dirty with a girl, and her husband was secretly logging her online conversations.
So yeah, now he knows about how I intend to bone his wife...
nastybacon: Hmm.. Is this guy an ass for talking dirty to someones wife? Is the wife an ass for being naughty online, or is the husband an ass for invad... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1343269844 | 1343318219 | t3_x61qx | t5_2to41 | 262 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a guy walk out with $250 worth of clothing free.
I wrung up all of this guy's little shirts for his spoiled daughter, began taking all of the censors off, and forgot that the register resets after 3 minutes of no use. So I fold all the clothes, put them in the bag, see no receipt on the regis... | 7 | 37.428571 | |
1343265283 | 1343306103 | t3_x5x6s | t5_2to41 | 32 | LarsAndHamlet: TIFU by accidentally shaving off my whole goatee.
I take some bit of pride in my small mane of facial hair, so imagine my surprise/damaged ego when I shaved it all off today. It also makes certain I'm not mistaken as a woman as I have been many times in the past. Apparently I have a pretty androgynous ... | 4 | 8 | |
1343280907 | 1343317440 | t3_x6c8z | t5_2to41 | 17 | smith1302: TIFU: Because ive done a Bunch of Hard Work in my Subreddit and Still its on 10.....
Spectacular_Mustache: Wow, just wow. You copied /r/teenagers. And its not like you didn't know it was there, you copied the rules directly, word for word.
zoodiary8: **http://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTeenagers Check again....... | 22 | 0.772727 | |
1343284418 | 1343345049 | t3_x6ets | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my mom that I'd eat my socks if I have ever learned from her example.
I could write an entire book about how my mother failed to act like a good mom, but my father agreed with me 100%. Anyhow, I told her this with no intention of hurting her feelings, and then she walked away as she began sob... | 10 | 1.7 | |
1343334767 | 1343366178 | t3_x7jcg | t5_2to41 | 132 | polegurl: TIFU by accidentally ripping off half my big toe nail and the surrounding skin while Poledancing (possibly NSFL pic)
I was learning a new move (brass monkey kick up from the floor) at pole class and as I kicked up I either kicked my own foot or the pole hit my foot in the wrong way...The result was a bloody m... | 7 | 18.857143 | |
1343344275 | 1343396057 | t3_x7tr7 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my phone indoors
I've lost my phone. And I can't find it. It practically has to be indoors somewhere, because I even remember when I lost track of it. Went into the kitchen, did something, it vanished into thin air.
i've searched yesterday's clothes, the fridge, freezer, dishwasher, cupboards... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1343354534 | 1343359219 | t3_x842w | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: I lost my fucking key, and I had 5 very VERY important different keys on it. TIFU big time.
rya11111: removed. please follow rule 1 and start the post with "TIFU" and repost! thanks!
clemenzzzz: sorry, I will. Thanks!
| 3 | 1 | |
1343354854 | 1343880426 | t3_x84ex | t5_2to41 | 21 | durtypop: TIFU my boyfriend's van. Apparently curbs burst tires.
Note: The door damage wasn't me. That van just has really, really awful luck.
durtypop: Picture of the damage
http://imgur.com/fGrNJ
minimumwage96: That sucks. How fast were you going?
durtypop: Between 10 and 20 KPH
minimumwage96: Seriously? How old ar... | 11 | 1.909091 | |
1343357297 | 1343465512 | t3_x86xj | t5_2to41 | 228 | Dringlenut: TIFU I accidentally slapped my mom on the butt while kissing her goodbye.
I did it without even thinking because I have been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend and we are affectionate that way. After I realized what I did I was pretty uncomfortable--my mom didn't mind.
[deleted]: You were kissing yo... | 11 | 20.727273 | |
1343360990 | 1348604110 | t3_x8amo | t5_2to41 | 23 | bigmac822: tifu by blowing up a toilet with my friends.
Fire works from the forth of July, M-98, i do believe. Some friends and I were just messing around. When my friend who lives at the house we were at, grabs a firework and "pretends" to lite it he did not realize how easy it was to light one. He tried to blow it ou... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1343361168 | 1343364593 | t3_x8as5 | t5_2to41 | 25 | YourPlusOne: TIFU by delivering the wrong pizza to a drunk woman.
BACKGROUND: I have been working at a pizzeria for about 2 1/2 months. It has taken me quite a while for me to get the swing of things, and I am still adapting. *Anyways*, I do not have one single job, I have multiple (Food runner, order taker via phone, ... | 5 | 5 | |
1343360673 | 1343390688 | t3_x8aaw | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU and trespassed in an Asian's bed
So it's another typical night in college, riding the bus back with my best friend borderline black out. She's ignoring me because I'm in the middle of one of my drunken bitch-fits, mumbling angry things to myself staring out the window. The bus stops and she starts elbow... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1343359097 | 1343403017 | t3_x88pq | t5_2to41 | 410 | tango-romeo: TIFU While Volunteering (Kind of NSFW)
So, I was volunteering with Habitat for Humanity to build a house. I'm pretty "green" and enjoy volunteering because I not only get to learn new things, but helping out just feels good.
Here was my mission: use the nailgun and nail in the baseboards into the cabinet... | 8 | 51.25 | |
1343366537 | 1344007485 | t3_x8fhm | t5_2to41 | 11 | jamjamjammerjamjam: TIFU by using my phone in the rain.
I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, it was a fine mist one second and then a torrential downpour the next. The water hit my battery mid call and my phone shut itself off. I recently got made redundant and I've handed a load of C.V.s out but now even if ... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1343386189 | 1343406506 | t3_x8pwc | t5_2to41 | 9 | Drmed92: TIFU, by putting back my 600$ phone partially in my
pocket in a crowded Asian Metro, Now stolen
I was in a crowded train for rail transit , i checked the time 10 seconds before arriving at my destination station, i put back my cellphone partially in my pocket, because its crowded and i was as usual hoping it ... | 3 | 3 | |
1343400069 | 1343430861 | t3_x8ykh | t5_2to41 | 205 | OnlyStandard: TIFU (Yesterday) by putting my foot through someone's ceiling.
I was working as an heating and air conditioning installer. (I say was, because not half an hour ago I was fired and thus, no longer work as a heating and air conditioning installer.) I was in a customer's attic, helping another installer carr... | 6 | 34.166667 | |
1343404973 | 1343464504 | t3_x93ay | t5_2to41 | 61 | [deleted]: TIFU by paying a debt that won't be removed from my credit report
2 years ago I went to the ER with what I thought was appendicitis, turned out that I inflammed some fatty tissue lining in front of the stomach from basketball. I was hit with a $490 medical bill that went into collections while I tried to fig... | 9 | 6.777778 | |
1343416198 | 1343444993 | t3_x9ff9 | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by having guilt sex with my ex after having a threesome with my boyfriend and friend.
I just need to vent. My boyfriend and I have been wanting to have a threesome in a while. Finally, last night we had our chance. We did it with a friend whom we both trust,and we were all drunk. So all good right?
N... | 12 | 1.75 | |
1343421511 | 1343503241 | t3_x9l5q | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: TIFU My very first, and truly amazing car.
My car is a 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer OZ Rally. Considering that it's called Lancer OZ **Rally** I thought I'd try to go rallying. I went to this spot locally where I'd seen people mudding on atvs and dirt-bikes, thinking that there might be some good flat, open patche... | 7 | 7.142857 | |
1343448926 | 1343525188 | t3_xa9l3 | t5_2to41 | 168 | [deleted]: TIFU: Automatic Fail on driving test
Today I fucked up my driving test to get a Texas driver's license, in the last SECONDS of the test. Everything went PERFECTLY around the course and I was even getting bonus points. Until, that is, at the very end as I was pulling over (foot on the break, 10 mph AT THE MOS... | 15 | 11.2 | |
1343450991 | 1343936821 | t3_xab76 | t5_2to41 | 77 | straitodenim: TIFU by prolonging my probation
I'm on probation for some stupid bull shit, and I have to take BA's(breath analysis) and last night I got good and drunk, and today I couldn't go take one because I wasn't blowing .00s before 9pm when the place closes. By missing one I'll have to wait another 3 months befor... | 8 | 9.625 | |
1343449869 | 1343501868 | t3_xaac3 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Illecebrous-Pundit: TIFU a few months ago. However, I just found this Reddit and need to express myself.
Salutations to all. I hope that everyone is doing well. To begin: I am eighteen years old. Since I have been young, attending college has been one of my highest aspirations. Despite my parents financial wealth, they... | 5 | 4 | |
1343450557 | 1343843577 | t3_xaauz | t5_2to41 | 622 | I_Am_TheEggman: TIFU by getting a blow job from a drunk girl
I was a party tonight and started hooking up with a girl who had too much to drink. Before proceeding further I made sure she was okay and offered her water/something to eat. She said she was time and sexy time commenced- neither of us had a condom so she sta... | 7 | 88.857143 | |
1343454446 | 1343481452 | t3_xadp8 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by stabbing my friend
I was chilling in the woods with my friend and this girl when she pulls out all this crap from her purse and in the pile was a knife. My friend takes the knife and starts whittle a 6 foot long stick to a point. Somehow I got the stick and in a flash of brilliance I asked him if I c... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1343454898 | 1343537738 | t3_xadzk | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving $80 to a guy and letting him run away.
I reached this guy. I wanted to buy some illegal stuff. Then he told me to give him the money while he fetched the stuff. I asked him to take him with me. He took me and dropped me at a place and I foolishly believed all the crap without daring to questio... | 3 | 1 | |
1343499612 | 1344123565 | t3_xb1hz | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by making it APPEAR like I have oral herpes before a date.
Well, more like yesterday I fucked up, but the effects are felt today. I'm meeting a new girl tonight for a dinner date.
My face is pretty sensitive to different kinds of soaps and washes. Some kinds will make me break out. I shave with just wa... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1343461226 | 1343615987 | t3_xahmt | t5_2to41 | 4 | sweetbeans2: TIFU: told her i had a rape fantasy
so today i fucked up when i was texting a girl i just met who said basically, "i'll talk about anything, just don't talk about or joke about rape" to which i replied "ya know, i've always had a rape fantasy i wouldn't mind playing out, i think it could be interesting"...... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1343503132 | 1343850714 | t3_xb4fj | t5_2to41 | 387 | pabloe168: TIFU Infesting my home with brown widows.
I did research on craiglist for a weight sets for months. When I finally came across one I could afford. I didn't lose my time and got it. The guy was nice enough to bring it to my place since I don't own a truck.
Amazing.. the barbell, the rack, the price, the wei... | 7 | 55.285714 | |
1343485498 | 1343532372 | t3_xards | t5_2to41 | 2 | lionsrawesome8: TIFU: Pouring red soft drink all over my dog
Ok as the title says I poured red soft drink on my dog well here is the story. I was watching something on YouTube and my dig was sitting at my feet just minding it own business when a funny part or bit of the video made me shake the unpopened can of drink. A... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1343531237 | 1344047286 | t3_xbrqg | t5_2to41 | 2 | lionsrawesome8: TIFU: By poisoning my little cousin maybe
Yesterday I posted a thing about spilling soft drink in my dog and because I'm an ass I f**cked up again and here's my story. My cousin came to visit with my auntie and my cousin asked if she could have a milo, do as a loving person would do I made her a milo bu... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1343510983 | 1343676061 | t3_xbb34 | t5_2to41 | 17 | injakewetrust: TIFU by spilling a drink all over a lady at work.
So I just got a new job last week as a waiter. I don't have any experience waiting tables, so I was given a few days of training.
Today was my first day by myself. My second table ordered their drinks and I went to go make them. Two waters, a Pepsi, an... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1343574446 | 1343596901 | t3_xc0oj | t5_2to41 | 36 | Bonzooy: Mensa has very low standards. If you're capable of "logically destroying" whatever anyone says around you (while drunk), then you belong in a more advanced high IQ society.
PersevereSC: The people who are actually intelligent are smart enough to realize that mensa is just an organisation that you give money t... | 8 | 4.5 | |
1343552735 | 1343592843 | t3_xc4jm | t5_2to41 | 176 | Potato2k4: TIFU by meeting a hot girl and breaking my toe...
So I am running through the park by my house today and there is a REALLY cute girl doing some slack-lining between two trees. I think to myself "wow, she is amazing, I wish I had the courage to talk to her..." So I man up and convince myself that if she is st... | 9 | 19.555556 | |
1343550774 | 1344067212 | t3_xc3t7 | t5_2to41 | 3 | MakeEmSayAyy: Reddit, today I woke up to my dad holding a hypodermic needle he found in my car and asking about my drug use. What's the worst thing you've woken up to?
It eventually led to a drug test which I opted out of by admitting to heroin use. While a huge bomb shell, I'm glad it's out in the open now. What's ... | 3 | 1 | |
1343522478 | 1343736319 | t3_xbkrj | t5_2to41 | 59 | im_tw1g: TIFU: Sprayed stuff into my eye, just like in cartoons.
To add to the irony, I was editing a cartoon wiki a minute before it happened.
So, this stuff (Febreze) is an anti-odour or something, and my shin-pads stink after soccer so I decided to spray them.
I pull the trigger. Nothing. I try again. Nope. I look... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1343598225 | 1343805685 | t3_xcwzw | t5_2to41 | 349 | watereol: TIFU by running a red light by accident...
Whenever I make a mistake like this I feel embarrassed and ashamed for days. Thankfully no one was hurt. I was just thinking about too many things and didn't pay attention to the light. I feel like such an idiot. God damn.
KabelGuy: I was in the car once with my mum ... | 12 | 29.083333 | |
1343602630 | 1343606000 | t3_xd0x2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by screwing myself out of football next year
I found out today that I won't be able to continue playing football in my final year of college due to a knee injury I received last season.
It sucks because I had been doing very well and I had invested a lot of time and effort into it. I played as an offe... | 3 | 4 | |
1343620798 | 1343642563 | t3_xdhwb | t5_2to41 | 179 | [deleted]: TIFU by installing a window upside down and thus making a 1.7 million dollar unit almost blow up
I work in a air conditioning company that make these huge motherfuckers for mining platforms witch send pressurized clean air for tools and other kind of shit. The beast is almost the size of a house.
So anyway... | 7 | 25.571429 | |
1343619637 | 1343779053 | t3_xdgsw | t5_2to41 | 16 | egm924: Dear TIFU, what was your biggest fuck up at work?
[deleted]: this is so cute. I am 37 years old, I have now worked for more years in my life then I have not worked.
What was my first fuck up?
Damned if I know.
I have had some pretty brilliant ones though.
At my old job I was the lead computer operator. Thin... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1343634339 | 1343651429 | t3_xdryf | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU - Tried to finger a lesbian.
So it's summer and the Olympics have started, my mate says that's reason enough to have a BBQ. Many burgers are eaten, many beers are drunk. Then absinthe appears. I'm bet a fiver that I can't do five shots. I win five quid but I lose my dignity. Late into the night and ther... | 9 | 1 | |
1343658984 | 1343838053 | t3_xe4s0 | t5_2to41 | 58 | divinesleeper: TIFU by letting a bird get killed.
A bird hit my window and it looked like it had broken its wing. I immideately ran outside and my sister insisted I had to kill it to put it out of its misery. I really couldn't do it so we got my brother to do it. He chopped of its head with a spade. Before he did it I ... | 10 | 5.8 | |
1343668820 | 1343723832 | t3_xeem4 | t5_2to41 | 1,036 | NoAttentionAtWrk: TIFU by getting my boss to believe that me and his wife are cheating on him because I had not deleted old contacts from my phone since college
Story time :
I started working with a new team / new project in my office. So for this I had to fly to a different city with my boss and stay there for a mont... | 13 | 79.692308 | |
1343670136 | 1343671197 | t3_xeg14 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting Katy Parry songs on my ipod for my cousin. Now she won't shut up and she's a horrible singer
It's not that I'm mean or anything it's just... I don't know how to ask her to stop.
[deleted]: I feel your pain. My cousin is like that and my dad made the same mistake by putting Barbie Girl on her ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1343695001 | 1343697648 | t3_xf6x4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | SuppahKikoChan: TIFU by ruining the only real friendship I ever had. . . .
Well, technically, it was 2 days ago. I had waited for my best friend to return home from a beach trip with her church youth group. She finally came home, only to leave again. I shouldn't have gotten upset, but I turned the whole thing into an a... | 4 | 1 | |
1343715249 | 1343719758 | t3_xfqge | t5_2to41 | 84 | Rrn273: TIFU at cutting hair
Today I was asked to cut my friend's hair and I royally fucked up.
Proof- http://imgur.com/G4xAD
unusually_eloquent: You have 3 options,
- Convince him that mohawks are so in right now
- Convince him that bald is so in right now
- Never ever tell him or another soul, burn that picture a... | 7 | 12 | |
1343683400 | 1343761629 | t3_xeuse | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU and took a picture of a girl's ass with my phone in front of my gf's friends.
We were at a store near the beach, and lots of people were in swimwear. This one girl showed up with this amazing ass, I had to take a picture of it! I thought I was being discrete about it, but I apparently wasn't, because th... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1343750403 | 1343839237 | t3_xgcpo | t5_2to41 | 125 | mouse_snake: TIFU: Rat trap catches snake
So I went up to check the rat trap today, I was very confused. I have a daughter who is ten and when she saw the snake she screamed so loud that I had to turn and tell her that ‘Hollywood would pay you a million dollars for that scream.’ To calm her and my wife down, I had to l... | 6 | 20.833333 | |
1343753140 | 1343763137 | t3_xgfm9 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying one of my favorite movie lines after sex...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjQtzV9IZ0Q
hazlos: Or could have said, "Boom goes the dynamite" like one of my friends did to his lady friend.
blushedbambi: I'd actually be first laughing my ass off and then congratulating the guy if he said that to... | 4 | 5 | |
1343763414 | 1343764952 | t3_xgkv3 | t5_2to41 | 8 | thebornotaku: I think Trojan or somebody made a brand of condom that came with a hard plastic case over it.
Also, it probably isn't necessary to carry them everywhere you go. Just bring them when you think you'll actually need them. Otherwise, keep them in a cool place (like at your house) so they don't degrade.
first... | 4 | 2 | |
1343779430 | 1344273845 | t3_xh7dj | t5_2to41 | 51 | oneart: TIFU, spider.
So just a few hours ago I was peeing, when I look to my side and suddenly I see a spider, comparable only to a baby Shelob, sat watching me. I decided at that point, to stop and kill it with the closest thing to me, toilet de-scaler. I stand up, grab my weapon, aim and fire.
Feeling safe from ha... | 6 | 8.5 | |
1343790714 | 1344609483 | t3_xhimw | t5_2to41 | 154 | GabyArcoiris: TIFU by letting myself get scratched by an ill cat who minutes prior had been vomiting white foam...
I've been feeding this black cat for several months now. She's cool and I've developed a lot of affection for her, but she's the type of cat that begs to be pet only to turn around and bite you. I respec... | 5 | 30.8 | |
1343809500 | 1344314417 | t3_xhx04 | t5_2to41 | 77 | Salad_Fingers_159: TIFU by wearing semen covered shorts to a blacklight party [pics]
It was embarrassing, I quickly changed and told the girl no more pants on dry humping while shes menstruating.
for your viewing pleasure: http://imgur.com/a/t8O11
TirSimpot: I feel bad for you. But hot damn, you're cute. :3
Salad_Fin... | 7 | 11 | |
1343819114 | 1343892654 | t3_xi16d | t5_2to41 | 452 | JA24: TIFU by calling my new boss "Dad"
I'd been waiting on a couple of phone calls today, sure enough phone rings while I'm Redditing, I answer and what sounded exactly like my Dad spoke, I of course instinctively respond "oh hey Dad, what's up?"...nope, wrong answer, it was my new boss, calling with the results of my... | 9 | 50.222222 | |
1343822064 | 1343936310 | t3_xi2lw | t5_2to41 | 258 | paranormal_shouting: TIFU by telling a girl with an eating disorder "I think that a girl with an eating disorder is way more unattractive than a fat girl"
Apparently the last thing a girl with an eating disorder wants to hear is that she's uglier than a fat chick. she started crying. fuck
andjok: Did you know she had a... | 14 | 18.428571 | |
1343825242 | 1343887841 | t3_xi4hd | t5_2to41 | 77 | [deleted]: TIFU by failing a summer class that was a test from my parents to see if I could return to college
I've never fucked up this bad in my life. I had a disastrous second semester this past year at school, and so by order of my parents I was taking summer classes to see if I could succeed academically. I was tak... | 5 | 15.4 | |
1343843647 | 1349144495 | t3_xilrs | t5_2to41 | 353 | NoAttentionAtWrk: TIFUpdate : Coffee with my ex-hot teacher who is my (ex)Boss's ex-wife
So I met her for coffee at starbucks and it was fun getting to know her. The coffee kept on coming and we ended up staying there for like 6 hours
Turns out, she is a Redditor too. I told her about the post and all the input you gu... | 11 | 32.090909 | |
1343861440 | 1344113951 | t3_xj5k5 | t5_2to41 | 62 | verydrypenis: TIFU by sleeping while having shampoo on my dick. Result? It hurts a lot.
So last night I was gonna have a late night jerk. However, before I started I thought I was gonna try to mix it up a bit by using some lube. The problem is that I don't have any right now so I was forced to improvise.
After a while... | 4 | 15.5 | |
1343878859 | 1343951011 | t3_xjn0p | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU: I Went through a parking garage gate without using the ticket (followed the guy in front of me)
The guy in front was having serious problems getting the gate to rise with his ticket. The people behind me wouldnt let me get out to go to another gate, so in a moment of impatience I decided to just drive ... | 5 | 7 | |
1343867012 | 1343951735 | t3_xjb2s | t5_2to41 | 31 | omrg: TIFU by clicking "reply to all" and sending an angry
letter to 44 people
Well... I'm now trying to apply for an international exchange program. Today I received a letter from which I took that I have 10 days to complete 5 really large assignments (should have been told long ago). This is mostly organizer's fault... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1343892203 | 1343904033 | t3_xjxfl | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my mom's MacBook Pro
Considering I was waiting on the money to get through to buy a 13" MBP of my own for school, this was kind of a huge problem. By itself? Not so much. Anyway, the TIFU:
I was trying to diagnose an internet problem. Since I had sold my current laptop in anticipation for t... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1343886885 | 1343919089 | t3_xjtxz | t5_2to41 | 507 | Mr_Gobble_Gobble: TIFU While Watching a Mysterious DVD
So today my junk was aching to be massaged. The usual. Now when I was younger I had discovered that my step-mom had a secret drawer in her dresser full of pornos and toys. I only watched one dvd from her stash and it was a standard porn flick with the cheesy plot. ... | 4 | 126.75 | |
1343889646 | 1343895081 | t3_xjvvp | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to pull out a trump card, only to be out-trumped immediately.
I have a medical condition called [interstitial cystitis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstitial_cystitis) that necessitates that I use the restroom about twice as frequently as most people. I work as the sole front cashier at a ... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1343897112 | 1343921960 | t3_xjzvj | t5_2to41 | 68 | mankstar: TIFU by getting losing the girl of my dreams
I met a girl who'd swept me off my feet. She was funny, smart, genuine, and gorgeous. I had a really bad experience with a long-term girlfriend a year ago and hadn't found anyone suitable since. This girl completely turned my world upside down and made me crazy abo... | 8 | 8.5 | |
1343927114 | 1343934472 | t3_xkl26 | t5_2to41 | 42 | Drunkensleeper: TIFU: Passing out at a casino and losing my friends and phone
Today I fucked up, or really last night I fucked up.
We were all out at the casino, me and some buddies, and getting hammered like idiots. I don't really remember too much after getting kicked out of the pool-bar area, and found myself waki... | 3 | 14 | |
1343931500 | 1344755453 | t3_xkpwh | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching 2 girls 1 cup
Basically what happened is my **girlyfriends were sleeping over** and they all dared me to watch the video in celebration of my 18th birthday...What innocence I had left is gone for good
**EDIT**: I'm a girl
DJSuptic: If you're having porn problems, I feel bad for you son.
I... | 9 | 3.777778 | |
1343935111 | 1344037772 | t3_xku4a | t5_2to41 | 739 | [deleted]: TIFU couldn't keep it hard for amsterdam hooker
Went on vacation and was quite nervous about the hooker experience. So needless too say I finally pick a girl. This after quite a lot of pressure from friend. Girl that I had was plenty beautiful. As I enter hooker headquaters we negotiate a fee. Of course I th... | 8 | 92.375 | |
1343963443 | 1343967833 | t3_xlnxi | t5_2to41 | 2 | FumingPanther: TIFU - by following a reddit/r/4chan link
canipaybycheck: Could you give me a link to the reddit comment or post? I'm a mod over there, and we remove and ban that shit.
Also, whenever you come across something like that on reddit, immediately do 3 things: click "report," message the mods of the subred... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1343973526 | 1343999887 | t3_xlwdg | t5_2to41 | 61 | Y0lo: TIFU by literally flushing my pen down the toilet at work
I leaned over to flush the toilet and my pen fell out of my shirt pocket direct into a pile of my ass-mud. I thought maybe I could kinda grab it, toss it, and flush but it was thoroughly caked in shit and i wasn't about to risk it. So I just kinda figured ... | 6 | 10.166667 | |
1343934230 | 1344053404 | t3_xkt49 | t5_2to41 | 3 | ILIEKYTEHPOOMPOOM: TIFU By throwing a PS3 Controller
I was playing JC2, when I started doing a mission I just couldn't get the hang of. Eventually, I got to a point here I could, and I Didn't press the button in time, and ran out of time. I raged, threw my controller, effectively putting a hole in my wall, and breaking... | 4 | 0.75 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.