start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1346322509 | 1346407975 | t3_z2ki3 | t5_2to41 | 323 | Paars: TIFU by hitting my GF in the face with my knee
We were just laying on the couch with my legs over her lap watching TV at one moment I get the brilliant idea to tickle her so I commence operation Wiggle & Giggle wish ended in great succes. Shortly thereafter however enemy ticklers arrived at my feet to avenge... | 7 | 46.142857 | |
1346346805 | 1346549506 | t3_z33sf | t5_2to41 | 296 | jweezy3: TIFU by sitting on Pandora’s crapper and starting a poo party.
After dating this girl that I really like for about a month, she took me to her lake house for a nice *relaxing* weekend with her extended family. Skipping to the chase, a day into the weekend, a poo storm was a brewin’ and the forecast wasn’t pret... | 7 | 42.285714 | |
1346354662 | 1346364080 | t3_z3crv | t5_2to41 | 27 | nicholea1: TIFU by emailing a print screen to my boss and the IS guy that clearly displays a window reading "TIFY by getting wet"
TheSmokingGNU: That... can't be good. Hope you still have a job! :)
[deleted]: So far. Hoping they're too busy to scrutinize and that the IS Guy is too nice to point it out.
| 3 | 9 | |
1346358077 | 1346506022 | t3_z3gly | t5_2to41 | 67 | Carlow91: TIFU by accidentally stepping on by 1 year old niece.
My sister and her husband came by for a visit today. I haven't seen my sister in over a year, and have never met my niece. Well we got to talking and after I play with my niece a little I offer some drinks.
As I get up to grab the beverages, I had faile... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1346359909 | 1346367417 | t3_z3iqz | t5_2to41 | 53 | Kuta837: TIFU while burning garbage.
So i live in the country and we usually just burn the "burnable garbage" in a fire pit out back.
My dad told me to go burn the garbage and i wasnt too happy about it since i was in the middle of doing something. In my unhappy state, i went downstairs and picked up all of the bags ... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1346366715 | 1346381884 | t3_z3qds | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a girl I loved her
Livesinthefuture: If you've already got something from this relationship then
DM;HS or DM;HBJ
But if not then TYFU
lcnm007: >DM;HS or DM;HBJ
Explain this I'm still tryin to figure stuff out
DVentresca: "Doesn't matter; had sex/BJ". You can't be bothered to care becaus... | 10 | 1.3 | |
1346384903 | 1346467140 | t3_z491p | t5_2to41 | 421 | pzbogo: TIFU and shit my pants in school
When I woke up this morning, I felt the urge to shit, so I took a quick powershit (diarrhea) before school. When I got to school, I felt he urge to go again, so I went, and ended up being late for my first class. Then about ten minutes before class was over, I felt the urge agai... | 10 | 42.1 | |
1346382846 | 1346536118 | t3_z46yq | t5_2to41 | 13 | JNC96: TIFU by generalizing and stereotyping an entire demographic.
I was on /r/asiantwox and I made an asshat out of myself because I thought appearance was the most important part of love.
[What the fuck was I thinking!?](http://www.reddit.com/r/asiantwoX/comments/z27fk/hey_asiantwox_i_was_wondering_whats_the_opini... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1346382517 | 1346405554 | t3_z46m5 | t5_2to41 | 26 | audiomatt: TIFU by accidentally rubbing verde sauce in my eye.
I'm typing this with one eye shut.
it hurts.
Funk_Master_Slap: One day i was cutting Jalapenos and had my hands all in the seeds and then rubbed all over my face and i broke out in hardcore burning allergy. had to go home and soak my face underwater. it s... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1346373137 | 1346630257 | t3_z3wvr | t5_2to41 | 18 | DjManEX: TIFU by getting a "dilluted base" all over me, including my eye and mouth.
So in class today we were doing a lab with something I later found out was a "dilluted base". At one point of the lab we had to shake a beaker half full with it and see what happened. There were two different beakers we had to shake and... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1346443494 | 1346455602 | t3_z5ho6 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Fonik_Freak: TIFU by coughing up some... thing? On my crushes desk.
Too lazy to make a decent story, will try to use a greentext format instead
~Be me
~have fucked up feeling in your stomach/lungs/throat 2 days ago
~think nothing of it at the time
~Be today
~5th period
~Feel the same feeling again, think it's just... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1346448889 | 1346513520 | t3_z5n8a | t5_2to41 | 668 | tifuthrowaway92: TIFU by having sex with a coworker who has a girlfriend.
So this adorable guy got me a great job working in a kitchen as the pastry chef. We've always had a major thing for each other and text and flirt all of the time and we even spent the night of his 21st birthday asleep in the back of his truck tog... | 8 | 83.5 | |
1346452808 | 1346470456 | t3_z5qyj | t5_2to41 | 24 | FallenMithos: TIFU By Missing A Payment for my Classes
So, what happened was that I'm enrolled in summer classes, and financial aid was supposed to take care of the costs of the classes and residence. Apparently, that didn't happen, and there was an balance, which prompted in me getting my classes dropped today, and ge... | 3 | 8 | |
1346459560 | 1346555374 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally walking in on a group of girls about to change
I was on a school trip. The told us to put our clothes in one room so we could find them when came back from the pool. They decided to change in that room so when I came in to get my clothes, they got pissed off at me and now think of me as ... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1346486100 | 1346623001 | null | t5_2to41 | 238 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to run from the cops my first weekend of college.
I walked out of a party and a cop called me over and stopped me. If I had just stopped and handed over my bag with beer, he would have just taken the beer and I would have been free.
I didn't know that. Now 2 tickets and around $300 later i re... | 9 | 26.444444 | |
1346532636 | 1346545575 | null | t5_2to41 | 223 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting pregnant.
[deleted]: >TIFU by not using a throwaway
FIFY
rastapasta808: Lol yup. Decent /r/gonewild posts
Hipster_Hillbilly: her gonewild post was a month ago, and she sure doesn't look three months pregnant in that picture.
[deleted]: Three months isn't enough to 'look' pregnant. I ... | 13 | 17.153846 | |
1346542086 | 1346556128 | null | t5_2to41 | 344 | jbmass: TIFU by not answering to an important university e-mail
I screwed up my semester and I have to redo it (yeah I fucked that up as well). One of the teachers sends me an email asking me if I want to do it again or if I'm stopping my studies. I answer that I'm continuing. He says okay. That was back in late June. ... | 6 | 57.333333 | |
1346553690 | 1346574552 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | Daedari: TIFU by messing with someone's phone
I was at lunch with my friends and I found a cell on the ground. I had planned on going through it to find out who it belonged to so I could return it to them. I went through their photos to see if I could find a familiar face, and found several nude pictures (some of which... | 3 | 21 | |
1346568918 | 1346715419 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | hotforhautbois: TIFU and have no menstrual products.
Gross, right? It gets worse!
So I use a Diva cup, for those of you unfamiliar, its an alternative to pads/tampons and is a great deal cleaner and less gross. You wash and re-use it, so its frugal, too. You don't have to buy a new one for a year or two. Awesome for m... | 6 | 13.833333 | |
1346576191 | 1347097082 | null | t5_2to41 | 87 | verbotits: TIFU by asking/pestering a friend to see her boobs
I, after a dare by some friends, texted a female friend to show me her boobs. It started out as a joke and we even hung out later in the day, but I just keep pushing to try to actually get a picture.
There'd been a little bit of a history between the two of... | 12 | 7.25 | |
1346564392 | 1346739095 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | Specialcat: TIFU by not reading a message from my mobile provider properly
TIFU by not reading a message from my mobile provider properly. The message said I had used 25% of my usage value and 100% of my data value.. I however, just read the first line about only using 25% of my usage and I just continued to browse re... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1346595858 | 1346819990 | null | t5_2to41 | 288 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost blinding myself with hydrochloric acid
I work at a local pool during the summer. We have a toilet bowl cleaner (Misty Bolex) that is 23% hydrochloric acid. It's fairly strong. If you do so much as drip the diluted stuff that's in the toilet bowl onto your foot, you better be near a water fauce... | 6 | 48 | |
1346631186 | 1347244733 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | phi186: TIFU by breaking my hand skydiving.
On jump 3 of AFF (Advanced Free Fall) today. Yesterday my landings were perfect, on feet both times. Today I came in too hot, hit the ground hard and broke 3 bones in my left hand (could have been worse). [proof](http://imgur.com/a/vX3vZ)
Koldhaart: First of all, it's aweso... | 6 | 10.333333 | |
1346633450 | 1346658316 | null | t5_2to41 | 167 | [deleted]: TIFU by inadvertently setting up my brothers car for a break in.
So my older brother kicks ass! whenever he comes over he takes all of us out to eat and pays for **everything**. This time I wanted to chip something in, and tried giving him some cash, but he refused again and again. I decided to leave the ca... | 8 | 20.875 | |
1346633903 | 1346648960 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | InkedRed: TIFU by dropping a full roll of toilet paper in the toilet.
I was about to replace the toilet paper holder, but first I took a piece off to wipe the toilet seat down, then the toilet paper roll just randomly felt like jumping out of my hands, rolling down my arm, and splashing in the toilet, getting piss germ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1346644773 | 1346876277 | null | t5_2to41 | 588 | [deleted]: TIFU by helping an old lady
So I was walking down the street of the town I live in and I see a very elderly woman in a walker having trouble with a large door. So I decide to be helpful and open the door. I got the door half way open then BAM! Faster then the hammers of hell she unleashes upon me a can of ma... | 7 | 84 | |
1346645601 | 1346706305 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | creamysoup: TIFU by eating a burrito with tabasco sauce, and with capsaicin laden fingers scratched my asshole
TLDR: burns man
SceretAznMan: Tabasco is weak sauce.
You must be white.
[deleted]: Tabasco is freaking sour. As a Indian that is not hot at all.
SceretAznMan: exactly, I enjoy the vinegar taste to it. I onl... | 4 | 18.25 | |
1346651252 | 1346669209 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | fukinthrowdaway: TIFU and let someone into my appt to use our phone, ended up getting robbed...
So this guy jumps down onto our appt patio around 11pm, and asks to use our phone. End up letting him after a bit of hesitation and he ends up offering to help us find weed. So we give him a ride to some sketch neighborhoo... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1346650637 | 1350487843 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by realising at 3am that my my law assignment which I had not started, was due at 9am.
Thank fuck I saw a facebook status complaining about it. Still, I can't stop kicking myself because this whole weekend I did nothing because I assumed it was due on friday.
Luckily, because I have the will of the w... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1346650268 | 1346690375 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | byrne21: TIFU by totaling my 3 week old car
I'm 20 and I had a perfect driving record until now. I got a new car (used, but new to me) less than a month ago, and tonight I was on the wrong end of a crunch with a much bigger car. My mom was in the car with me. We're ok, but the car is not and never will be.
DougeryThugg... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1346687495 | 1346774268 | null | t5_2to41 | 561 | Fwdslash1: TIFU by dropping my cellphone in a 'Danger Zone' at Six Flags
I went to Six Flags (Jackson, NJ) this past Saturday. I got on the superman ride location. I had my cellphone in my pocket. Went through a sweet loop and felt something slip out of my shorts. Turns out it was my iPhone. Asked the employees what I... | 7 | 80.142857 | |
1346668952 | 1346853636 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by not wiping my ass enough.
Apparently I didn't wipe my ass enough last night and now I am, um, how do I say this. Remove the dried up shit from my ass-hair....
Edit:
it hurts like a bitch so far.
SPDSKTR: [Here's a solution.](http://www.amazon.com/Micro-Touch-Max-Hair-Remover/dp/B003ZW9LOQ) It even... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1346648856 | 1346837586 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Certainlynotaninja: Tifu by smearing shit on my bathroom wall
So after a nice long shit I began to rid the outer skin of my anus with TP. Some how the TP decided to be springy somehow and fling a chunk of shit upon my white wall. Since it was 2am and I was extremely tired, I decided to try and wipe it off. Now there is... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1346710699 | 1346731231 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | smartedpanda: TIFU by not showing up to work at a brand new job
I got a new job about two-three month agos, it's a legit job within my field of degree, and the pay is outstanding for what I do. I've been doing well, the week before (last week of August), not so much since school is starting back up I ended up late due ... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1346720248 | 1346735074 | null | t5_2to41 | 141 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my $900 video camera at the mall... and it had a private homemade porn of me and my gf saved on it
Title says it all. Left it on the back of a chair. I remembered 30 mintues later and ran back as fast as I could and it was gone. Asked at the restaurant if anyone handed it in to them, they... | 6 | 23.5 | |
1346738213 | 1346750511 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU By taking my boyfriend's car to urgent care without asking
I have been feeling awful sine Thursday and had been running a fever. Not only that, but I probably have TMJ issues, as during the time I started getting sick, I started getting numbing and tingling in my mouth and all over my face. Anyhow I wok... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1346753140 | 1368511876 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,683 | loozerr: TIFU Installing a Door
So I decided to replace a door ruined with stickers, drawings and scratches. Everything went well, until I closed the door I had just installed. I'll let the picture tell the thousand words:
[****link****](http://i.imgur.com/DpJR2.jpg)
DeathHaze420: Measure twice?
pilvy: Measure:Not even... | 20 | 84.15 | |
1346760749 | 1346895180 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my photographer I'm in love with him.
He's a photographer. I'm doing part-time modeling and he was taking photos for my portfolio. We dated for a little while several months ago and he pulled the plug on it. I wasn't very happy with it, but whatever. So we've started talking again on a friend... | 7 | 4.714286 | |
1346782820 | 1346808070 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | ADINPA: I broke a major pipe in my house and can't tell anyone.. Any plumbers?
trouphaz: Just make up a story. Say you caught a guy who broke into your house and caught him in the basement. You grabbed the nearest weapon which just happened to be a weight and threw it at him. Lucky for him, he ducked just in time, ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1346778133 | 1346861659 | null | t5_2to41 | 107 | Tronberr: TIFU by masturbating. NSFW
I had been wanking for a good 30/45 minutes and hadn't wanked all week.
I was just about to finish and of course after a week of no masturbation it was bound to be messy, right? Well, it was messier than I thought.
As the cum shot straight out it ended up hitting me in the eye, ... | 6 | 17.833333 | |
1346784118 | 1347131275 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | ChaplinStrait: TIFU by murdering an unhatched chick.
I live on a ranch/farm and our hens have been hatching out chicks for the past week or so.
There are just two hens that have been sitting on the eggs. Well if you know anything about hens you would know that if they are the right type(broody) they will lay on their... | 15 | 1.933333 | |
1346790913 | 1346943690 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | squeezy_bob: TIFU by wasting my chance to get laid.
It happened last april, but found this reddit today.
I'm that guy who is friends with everybody but hasn't enough balls to talk to girls.
Long story short, i met a girl at facebook, day after that i saw her downtown, she started talking and then asked me if i would... | 9 | 6.444444 | |
1346792599 | 1346874305 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | paki123: TIFU by missing my first exam of the year because I slept in...
I'm fucked.
Caitlyn_: Everyone does this, sure, you're probably fucked, but there might be a chance to retake it.
TheBiles: Everyone does not do this.
Fauropitotto: Everyone has done it before or will do it in the future.
TheBiles: Then how did ... | 7 | 7.142857 | |
1346804989 | 1346877182 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | throwaway5393: TIFU by leaving out my pot paraphernalia while my mother's LDS (mormon) friends came over
.
[deleted]: Reminds me of when I was recently out of shoulder surgery and hopped up on percocet and my dad had his church buddies over.
Church buddy: "hey looks like you messed up your shoulder, how does it feel?... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1346804623 | 1346862885 | null | t5_2to41 | 123 | internetisland: TIFU and interrupted a funeral procession
Driving home from classes, I was waiting at an intersection for the light to turn green, clearly not paying attention, I notice a hearse go by and think to myself "Heh, don't see those everyday"
The left hand turn light ones green and I drive into the right sid... | 5 | 24.6 | |
1346810285 | 1346846765 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend if she ever left me I would kill her and anyone she even considered dating.
I think I came across a little bit to seriously and she got quite worried when I said "you're my whole world and if you go I have nothing to lose, so why would I be scared of prison? I'll take you with m... | 7 | 1.428571 | |
1346814653 | 1346830895 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | yogiybarra66: by send a /b/ gore thread link to a girl I have feelings for....
davidzysk: why would you send a link to /b/? screen cap it post it to imgur then send him/her the link.
4chan wipes everything out in a few hours, on /b/ it would only take minutes, if that.
yogiybarra66: It was mean for my roommate across... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1346836906 | 1346894239 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | TimesWasting: TIFU by assuming someone was opening the door for me.
I was at a gas station walking towards the door, and there was a guy walking towards it coming from the other direction. He gets there first and opens it as I get there. I thought I noticed him pause for a sec, so I walked in and ended up nearly bumpin... | 5 | 4 | |
1346815110 | 1346862282 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | victordavion: TIFU by forgetting I had a credit card account and just got noticed for an overdue payment because of the annual fee being applied last month.
This is truly embarrassing. I specifically got this card originally as a means to solidify my credit and now it's fucked up again, because of $19.
Is there any re... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1346801754 | 1347040129 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | kitsunegari101: TIFU by not bringing bus fare
So today, because I'm not attending my college this semester due to money and health issues, I figured *what the hell, I'm not doing anything today* and decided to go visit some of my friends at the school.
I got ready as usual, shoved my laptop in my bag, and headed out ... | 5 | 2 | |
1346868808 | 1346878476 | null | t5_2to41 | 330 | [deleted]: TIFU someone's testing situation for the GED Exam.
I give out the GED Test and one of the rules is that you can't leave during the test, or it will be picked up at whatever point you stopped at.
Well, in a session last month a guy (let's call him Stan) had some stomach problems and needed to go. I explaine... | 8 | 41.25 | |
1346869309 | 1346970074 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | XheartXfingers: TIFU by throwing my friend's retainer away.
So, I was eating my lunch and noticed my friend hadn't finished hers. Well, being the opportunist I am, I asked for her plate, set it on mine, and began happily eating away. As a gesture of appreciation, I decided to throw away both our trays.
Fast forward to... | 6 | 4 | |
1346872191 | 1346936005 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | JumpingJak: TIFU by playing a joke on a friend
Today two friends and I went up to some boulders about 200m away from the road to do a bit of climbing, mess around and sit in the sun. When it came to leave two of us came down the to car much faster than the other one so we got in and I drove down the road about 50m to t... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1346877862 | 1346955478 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | bgar0312: TIFU By accepting counterfeit money as payment.
for starters, i work at the Cheesecake Factory, a rather busy one [credibility](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/x13zh/iama_cheesecake_factory_trainer_ama/). During the afternoon rush had a large table of indian couples 12 ppl. when payment came they all wa... | 8 | 1.625 | |
1346880500 | 1347148891 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | atgvrewe: TIFU by sending a text to the girl I have a date with tonight MEANT for the girl I slept with last night.
I got a text from each girl, and the girl from last night sent me a picture of her cleavage, to which I responded by saying something along of "Very nice, hope to see that soon." My phone jumped to the me... | 8 | 3.875 | |
1346879771 | 1346894964 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | januarysnow: TIFU at work by drastically underestimating the amount of time it would take me to finish a project.
It's the last week of my internship. I made a pretty good impression on my colleagues so far, but for some reason I was terrible at estimating the amount of time it would take me to finish this last project... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1346890819 | 1347297162 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Alaira314: TIFU by trying to be nice and ending up holding one door for many people while the other door was unused
What it says in the title. Approached a set of standard double doors, opening outwards, with a few people getting ready to come out of both doors. I stepped to the left and held the left-hand door open(... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1346883248 | 1347060863 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by not clocking out of work when I was supposed too.
Where I work you sign out of your location and then go to the main office to clock out. I signed out and decided to go say goodbye real quick to a friend working in a nearby location. However when I met up with her she said she was about to go on brea... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1346893128 | 1346942464 | null | t5_2to41 | 396 | ISayStevieNicks: TIFU by fapping too vigorously.
I am on a medication (Zoloft) which causes fapping to take a loooong time to...complete. After much too much time, I realized I had broken the skin on my dong and, oh, the bleeding. All day I have been walking around like a 80 year old man. So painful.
DQEight: Wait...zo... | 9 | 44 | |
1346895603 | 1346897886 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Simmerfan101: TIFU by being slow in the mornings
My school offers classes off campus, so you have to get to school in time for the bus to come take you off campus, well silly me, sleeps in and takes my slow behind time to get to school, and traffic was so backed up, so I get to school way late, but that doesn't matter... | 3 | 1 | |
1346896240 | 1346956636 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | brownmanwithskills: TIFU by not registering with my full name.
So, I'm supposed to be taking the MCAT tomorrow. I decide today to re-check the email sent by AAMC (testing company) and realize that the name I had signed up with is my nickname, not my full name. One of the statements in that email stressed that the regi... | 3 | 22.333333 | |
1346898931 | 1346916651 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU by fainting on my dorm floor in a bath towel for 2 minutes. Now no one on my dorm floor will talk to me.
I just started college 2 weeks ago.
TheOriginalGalatea: They won't talk to you because you passed out? Unless you're doing drugs, or purposely starving yourself, it isn't as though you did it on purp... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1346908886 | 1346971422 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | ProfessorTesla: TIFU: I was riding my bike home from a party while drinking a beer and crashed because I freaked out from seeing a cop.
About 10 minutes ago I was riding my bike home in Savannah (where you're allowed open container) while drinking a beer out of a solo cup (but can get a DUI on a bike). I see a cop pass... | 8 | 4.125 | |
1346907799 | 1346968063 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU By rolling my jeep at 11pm in backwoods Idaho
I was over at a buddy's house tonight watching the NFL opener. Things started to get a little boring as the Cowboys were going to win, so we decided to do something else with the night. Now, I'd like to preface this by noting that I am a pretty experienced o... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1346903036 | 1346947799 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | rewrewsuh: fantasy football- eli manning over romo.
today i fucked up by starting eli manning over tony romo. romo had 10 more points and i am projected to lose by 9. today i fucked up.
zemekis: You fucked up when you drafted them.
rewrewsuh: well, there is the bye week. that'll be an easy decision, but yeah, i could t... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1346861528 | 1347011599 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Cesar_PT: TIFU by wrecking my parents car.
This happened 3 hours ago. I was driving to work, and I was slightly pissed off at some things that are going not so well in my life.
For a better understanding of the situation, I went home for lunch and ended up dozing off on my bed. My mom had to wake me up to go to work, b... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1346943772 | 1347126130 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | 11geosno: TIFU by pouring lemon juice onto an insect sting.
I have an insect bite/sting on my stomach so I thought I knew how to deal with it. I remembered something about stings being acids and alkalis neutralising them from GCSE Science, so I poured a load of vinegar on it. The vinegar did nothing to help, in fact it... | 4 | 15.5 | |
1346949957 | 1346950452 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Jasperodus: TIFU (Debated posting to r/confessions. Might x-post) by standing up a person who was going to give me free sneakers.
DougeryThuggery: Sounds more like you should have posted this to [r/ihatemyself](http://reddit.com/r/ihatemyself).
Jasperodus: I'll cross-post.
| 3 | 1 | |
1346954022 | 1347055169 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,185 | [deleted]: Tifu by letting my stepmom rub my spunk marks
Basically I fapped earlier today and missed the tissue. No big deal right? Well, it landed on my shirt. I brushed it off with my teenage fuckless attitude and some tissue. While I'm cooking some food I look down and see white semen residue that dried on my shirt.... | 12 | 98.75 | |
1346955587 | 1346972961 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | PhatDaddy420: TIFU: By violently ripping open the door of what I thought was the "forgotten bathroom". The CEO was sitting right there..
So TIFU. I work in a building with a few floors, and a few months ago I found a bathroom that nobody ever uses cause that side of the floor has nobody there, so it became my regular c... | 4 | 44.25 | |
1346964758 | 1347184595 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | UsedCondom69: TIFU by wreaking my parents Mercedes-Benz SLK 230
It started off with me waking up late for my class's morning study sessions. Because they were not mandatory, I said to hell with it and decided to skip. My mom needed my car to drop off my grandparents at the airport, who were visiting from California and... | 18 | 2.333333 | |
1346972213 | 1347102858 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | illdrawyourface: TIFU by accidentally flipping off my soon to be brother in law.
I was driving on a residential neighborhood street leaving my moms house, and theres an idiot behind me riding my ass.. Really close. He's even weaving to the left to see if he can pass, but there were too many curves and impossible to te... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1346978896 | 1347044787 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Dragonfucker69: TIFU by free running
This was a while ago. Me and my friends always liked free running, so one day we decided to get crazy and go free run at school when we were supposed to be at a park. So we were at school had our free run fun, then decided to prank some teachers by putting tables infront of the door... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1347004541 | 1347123628 | null | t5_2to41 | 270 | defectorlacera: TIFU at work by dropping a $100 case of concrete stain onto a $500 display of spray paint, destroying both and spilling their contents all over the floor the day after a very expensive bi-annual floor resurfacing.
Technically, this happened a few nights ago. I apologize for the wall of text, but this is... | 5 | 54 | |
1347024026 | 1347031072 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by contacting TWC's amazing support
Our cable has been out for three days, it happened shortly after a really bad rain storm. My first guess was the cable got damaged somehow because I could still ping google but dropped packets like crazy. I called the day it happened and a tech came out and found the ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1347045477 | 1347074023 | null | t5_2to41 | 348 | adwarakanath: TIFU: Shaving and chillies do NOT go together
I had shaved just a couple of hours before. I decided to cook an Indian chickpea soup. I ran out of hot chilli powder last week and had to improvise. We have whole dried red chillies in our spice rack in our flatshare so I took a handful and crushed them by ha... | 5 | 69.6 | |
1347065548 | 1347119366 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by allowing my prius to run out of gas
annoying_dumb_guy: TYFU by owning a Prius
davesaunders: I drove my Prius for 200,000 miles before giving it away as a gift. It's still going. Most reliable car I've ever owned.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1347067374 | 1347332240 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU by not properly plugging in my headphones
So my mom is very religious but I'm atheist and listen to some quite "demonic" screamo. So one day when she forced me to go to church I slipped on an earbud to drown out the priest. But my earbuds weren't plugged in all the way so as soon as I hit play Goatwhore... | 7 | 11.428571 | |
1347067507 | 1347095006 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by spilling the majority of a large mug of boiling hot coffee all over my bare foot.
So, it's late at night and I've had a touch day at work and wish to stay awake to play with my gaming buddies. Part way through I'm getting very tired and so I tell them I'll be right back and that I was going to make m... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1347088630 | 1347116567 | null | t5_2to41 | 336 | Anotherfuckwit: TIFU: by watching soccer in a bar.
So I'm out with my mates having a drink at a bar after footie (soccer) training. On the screen the team I support in a european qualification match. I go to the bar as its my round and another friend comes to help carry drinks. whilst we are there he sees a girl he kne... | 8 | 42 | |
1347096991 | 1350838188 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU: Asian landlady found me naked.
I'd been masturbating and was lying on my bed with my pants down in a post-orgasm bliss, browsing reddit while listening to music. My 60-ish landlady walked into the house and I think one of my housemates must've told her I was in my room. She opened my door and peeked he... | 6 | 4.333333 | |
1347110942 | 1347282856 | null | t5_2to41 | 267 | foxxinsox: TIFU while shaving my head (female)
I decided I wanted to be a bold badass woman last week and had my head shaved last Saturday morning. Guys, I don't know if you understand, but this is a really major thing for a girl. Society has done a pretty damn good job of drilling in our heads that we need to look fem... | 12 | 22.25 | |
1347120876 | 1347174074 | null | t5_2to41 | 370 | glaedr: TIFU by attempting to navigate a revolving door.
So, I went for an interview at a university today, which went pretty well. The trouble started when me and my fellow interviewees were invited on a tour afterwards.
The building I had my interview in was this ultra-modern, glass-fronted beast which someone had d... | 6 | 61.666667 | |
1347125368 | 1347180404 | null | t5_2to41 | 221 | heyhihellogabi: TIFU because of a language barrier.
I took a three-week exchange trip to Tokyo, Japan over this summer. I've taken two years of high school Japanese classes and didn't really know what I was getting into. Because I tend to use hand gesticulations while I speak, I was making [this] (http://imgur.com/e1cC... | 4 | 55.25 | |
1347132994 | 1348977765 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | [deleted]: TIFU by serving at a wedding
I'm an Altar Server for my church. I was serving at a wedding today. I was on the altar and everyone was looking at the Priest and I. There was a moment of silence, and then club music came on. My phone was ringing. As loud as it could. In front of the Bride and Groom. And their ... | 7 | 16.857143 | |
1347145352 | 1347241580 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by being an (extremely) irresponsible teenager.
EDIT: Typos.
My neighbors were going out of town for about two weeks, and they entrusted me with taking care of their house, watering their plants, feeding their cat, etc. But my feeble little mind thought it would be a brilliant idea to take advantage of... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1347201491 | 1347211317 | null | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: TIFU by being the crazy girlfriend.
I am really attached to my bf and we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like due to work and school.
Because yesterday was Saturday, I was hoping to have the afternoon, after he got off work, with him.
I have a really hard time making friends. Even my closest ... | 10 | 11.3 | |
1347201949 | 1347231339 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | Guesty_: TIFU by trusting a fart whilst sick with Diarrhea
One of my favourite pair of boxers. Ruined.
Emmaleep: Dude never trust a fart....never.
[deleted]: Never ever say never never. It's a double negative.
| 3 | 20.666667 | |
1347221976 | 1347256953 | null | t5_2to41 | 804 | astonesthrow: TIFU my sheets (x-post two-x)
TeslasAirship suggested I submit this to this subreddit.
Background: My husband works nights, we have a daughter, we live in a duplex. The people sharing the duplex had their house broken into, in the morning. I've been paranoid ever since and sleep with a metal bat by the b... | 10 | 80.4 | |
1347227141 | 1347278408 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | nilly_welson: tifu my best friend's jaw
about 15 of us were watching nfl football together in a dorm. It felt great outside so we went to throw the football around. Everything was going great until my friend threw a pass short between andy and myself. It was much closer to andy but I went for it anyway. I don't think h... | 5 | 12.6 | |
1347266393 | 1347392405 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU By Buttering Up My Car
My teenage daughter is taking a Wilton cake decorating class. So when she told me that she needed to bake a cake and make a pound of buttercream frosting, we headed off to the grocery store. When we were done shopping, we started off for my Mother's house, groceries in tow.
I k... | 5 | 4 | |
1347284255 | 1347303612 | null | t5_2to41 | 151 | [deleted]: TIFU. Alcohol is a bastard for its laxative effect.
Woke up on my friend's couch while two other guys were asleep in the same room, after a night of lethal drinking. As soon as I woke up my anus felt like it was going to explode, I knew that as soon as I had gotten access to a toilet it was going to be loud,... | 7 | 21.571429 | |
1347287926 | 1347335285 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: Last week I fucked up by letting it slip to two guys in my class that I play video games
babbish: Tell them you're quitting for a while because it's effecting your schoolwork.
[deleted]: > it's effecting your schoolwork.
looks believable.
babbish: If this is about effect and affect, I gave up on those l... | 6 | 8.333333 | |
1347308108 | 1347318124 | null | t5_2to41 | 138 | only_one_contact: TIFU by botching an introduction with a girl named "Jyz," pronounced "jizz."
A girl walked up to me today, stuck out her hand, and said something that sounded like, "Jizz." Not knowing what to say in return I replied, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can right now." "That's my name!" she snapped, before st... | 5 | 27.6 | |
1347313110 | 1347542732 | null | t5_2to41 | 641 | KittenPurrs: TIFU by "endangering [myself] and others" while responding irrationally to a spider.
I was driving merrily along when the mother of all spiders spun down from my sun visor, mere inches from my face. I completely lost my shit, flailed at it, knocked it somewhere, and then went into full panic mode trying t... | 12 | 53.416667 | |
1347318926 | 1347392563 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | [deleted]: TIFU by typing redtube.com at school....
Well, It was free time in my class and I was just on youtube when my friend told me to go to reddit, and my mind being dumb as fuck I typed in redtube..... Needless to say that im not allowed to use the computer anymore..
too_many_legs: I did this, but with 4chan, and... | 3 | 26 | |
1347314292 | 1347509790 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | ur_in_trouble: TIFU Got drunk, pissed in bed
**TL;DR read the title**.
So for the couple of weeks I have been drinking pretty heavily, due to stress, boredom, and for the cause of my fuck up today, i have discovered that drinking water throughout the night will completely diminish my hangovers in the morning.
So th... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1347321109 | 1347509133 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | ballsack66: TIFU cooking pork chops.
Okay, so I'm a college student, living alone in a studio apt. and I suck at cooking for myself. This evening, I thought I'd whip up some pork chops on the stove - it's usually simple enough. My first mistake was putting entirely too much oil into my massive, cast iron frying pan. ... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1347352080 | 1347363241 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | Ninja_Guin: TIFU by grabbing a bench grinder that was spinning down
Not as bad as it sounds, ive just ground the skin off the end of my thumb, but it now makes me the last 3 accidents at work. It was also before 9am.
koenm: It might be because I'm not a native speaker but I'm not familiar with what a bench grinder is..... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1347368896 | 1347419435 | null | t5_2to41 | 555 | wutabum17: TIFU trying to be a decent neighbor
When I want to smoke a bowl and it's really late I like to go in my front yard for a change of pace.
Well this time it was 5 a.m. and there were a few more cars out but still quiet most of the time. After 10 minutes a van that looks like [this](http://world-viewer.com/dat... | 5 | 111 |
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