start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1401328786 | 1401373955 | t3_26r1zl | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with an enlisted airman and his underaged friend
It happened over the long weekend after a very long work week. I went to the bar saturday night to get wasted. Chatted up with this cute guy and he started to brag that he was in the military. I didn't want to scare him off telling him I'... | 3 | 8 | |
1401330040 | 1401339989 | t3_26r3wx | t5_2to41 | 20 | itsnotbenaffleck: TIFU by becoming a criminal
So last night/this morning around 3 am.
Chilling with my friends in one of their apartments smoking some pot. After we leave and my friend and I go back to our cars, I realize I have a parking ticket cause I was RIGHT in front of a no parking sign. "Well fuck oh well I gu... | 5 | 4 | |
1401334531 | 1401369260 | t3_26raea | t5_2to41 | 24 | tifutw: TIFU by calling an old woman a cunt.
I live in a large city in a lower / middle class neighborhood made up of primarily hispanic people. Some of my neighbors work blue collar jobs, some pick the trash as their primary source of income... and others are new. The area is going through gentrification for better o... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1401327890 | 1401414876 | t3_26r0ke | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by having the worst Prom getaway ever
Ok so this actually happened Friday but only got back earlier today. This is also a throwaway for privacy reasons.
So first, a little back story, We were a group of 8 people and we were going to the Prom afterparty, the after party being located on a lake/cabin in ... | 4 | 4 | |
1401337363 | 1401355514 | t3_26re4n | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU brought my laptop into the bathroom to reddit while i shit
my dad came home and walked in, the laptop was on my lap (i'd finished shitting but was reading an article) he thought i was jerking off... now it's awkward
CONSCIOUS_BEING: "I swear it's not what it looks like"
happy_freak: i was watching cosmo... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1401339509 | 1401805559 | t3_26rgqj | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: slightly [NSFW] TIFU by possibly knocking up a friends wife.
Let me open with they are in an open relationship. He has another girl and he lets her sleep with other guys. So the other day we were all hanging out when he got called into work on his day off. I couldn't leave cause I had had a few drinks was to... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1401340647 | 1401427051 | t3_26rhyu | t5_2to41 | 13 | aliceINchainz: TIFU by ruining my eyesight.
I just ruined it.
It's so difficult even being on the computer. My eyes are sensitive to the light now. I know I go on the computer too much, as a teen I was always glued to the computer screen, but now it has really fucked up my eyes. I want to slap myself silly for doing t... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1401342305 | 1401422879 | t3_26rjnm | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering myself a vibrator to be sent to me at work (in a hospital).
So a week or so ago I bought a vibrator online to be sent to me at home. I actually live in the suburb of the hospital in which I work, and there is a post office inside the hospital.
Website said that it would come in non-distingu... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1401341080 | 1401348994 | t3_26rifv | t5_2to41 | 71 | Karranas: TIFU by playing with a transit card on a lanyard at a subway station and nearly getting myself killed.
This happened nearly a decade back, when I was a grade 3 elementary schooler who knew nothing better.
Well, since I was in grade 1, I took public transit, and that was either the subway or the bus. I, needl... | 4 | 17.75 | |
1401343757 | 1401348725 | t3_26rl5a | t5_2to41 | 32 | fronkdonk: TIFU by not shaving my pubes
I was having a wank in my underpants to be stealthy. Suddenly, I notice a burning sensation in the penile region. I summon the one-eyed monster from his cave to inspect. I notice the source of the pain; a pubic hair is poking out of my urethral opening! I proceed to remove the st... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1401348293 | 1401376651 | t3_26rp3k | t5_2to41 | 63 | throwaway33924: TIFU by finding a B&W video on xhamster that I hoped I'd never see again.
TIFU by getting a video tape stolen. So, that's about it. The details are not very exciting; girl I knew in college, in her apartment, sexytimes. Black and white video camera, years ago. Haha, make tape, ok. Very funny.
But ... | 6 | 10.5 | |
1401349667 | 1401399823 | t3_26rq6m | t5_2to41 | 2,971 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to shit on a cockroach
This monster cockroach had taken up residence in my bathroom for like the last year but whenever I tried to catch him he would always slip my grasp. About 10 minutes ago I finally corner the bastard in my wife's tampon box. I find a way to maneuver the roach into the toi... | 9 | 330.111111 | |
1401348703 | 1401379594 | t3_26rpge | t5_2to41 | 12 | Evoblue: TIFU by accidentally subscribing my mother to NSFW
I was lol'ing at somewhat nsfw youtube, when mother walks in, simple, alt tab
She wants to print some stuff, log into her gmail, print stuff, mother leaves
Continue watching lulz, subscribe, complete lulz, notice I'm not logged into my own account, simple, d... | 3 | 4 | |
1401355784 | 1401376013 | t3_26ruzp | t5_2to41 | 18 | JCWalker97: TIFU by ripping my dick off
No throwaway, no fear.
Hello reddit, about 4 years ago I fucked up. Majorly.
Little 14 year old me was all set for a night of serious wanking after having just found out a girl who I considered to be the hottest girl in school likes me. Don't judge me here but, I began flickin... | 9 | 2 | |
1401363354 | 1401401122 | t3_26s1b3 | t5_2to41 | 22 | Kittenyberk: TIFU by weaponising my hands.
Tl;Dr: Made pepper spray, assaulted myself with it out of plain old stupid.
This morning has been a perfect storm of frustration, anger and stupidity, with a healthy slosh of hot sauce involved.
I ought to make it clear at this point, I'm not *usually* a fucking moron and kn... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1401370656 | 1401397861 | t3_26s9n4 | t5_2to41 | 13 | goodkareem: TIFU by forgetting about the streaming porn.
This was three days ago but its finally settled in. Im deployed. I live in a shared shipping container with another male. We have work schedules that give me about 2 hours before he comes home and he gets about 2 hours alone after I leave. Most of the time person... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1401363859 | 1401375396 | t3_26s1rh | t5_2to41 | 26 | GiZ1987: TIFU because I was driving drunk - really drunk
Hellou Reddit,
here is one that is not as funny but maybe more a warning. All what I am going to write happened two weekends back.
We where over the weekend on a shoot in a small town in the north of the Czech Republic. The night before the shoot we arrived and... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1401371710 | 1401372245 | t3_26sb2z | t5_2to41 | 14 | spillern1: TIFU by punching a kid in the hip.
This happened a while ago when I was in 7th grade. Another classmate had been picking on me and I had enough. I decided i was going to punch him in the solar plexus during recess. I learned from doing taekwondo what that would entail for him. I went and I landed my punc... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1401360848 | 1401384902 | t3_26rz2q | t5_2to41 | 16 | Bogus1989: TIFU by not shitting before I left for work.
So I am in the Army. I was in a mandatory school you have to go through at a certain time at a certain rank. In this case it was ALC or Advanced Leaders Course. You cannot and should not be late to this any day. The class is around 30 days. If you fail the school ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1401381332 | 1401389231 | t3_26sqlq | t5_2to41 | 113 | Ththrwawyovrthmmnts: TIFU by hitting a parked car on my bike. Here's the note I left
hi there, I regret to inform you that i crashed headlong into the rear of your vehicle.
in my defense i was on my way to get coffee and donuts while jammin some sweet van morrison in my earbuds.
i skirted off the sidewalk and your ca... | 7 | 16.142857 | |
1401381746 | 1401395351 | t3_26sra6 | t5_2to41 | 57 | Spach-: TIFU by unknowingly blaring porn in public
Fuck-up from earlier this year; It was noon on campus at my university, I was meandering about through the central courtyard while listening to my ipod.
*Phone buzzes.* I grab it out of my pocket and respond to a couple texts from a friend. Knowing that they would re... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1401381409 | 1401413136 | t3_26sqqf | t5_2to41 | 5,207 | SGDove: TIFU: I sent a .gif to my real-life best friend last night. She threw up and hasn't spoken to me since.
So for many years now, my gaming buddies and I have had a pretty good running joke about a .gif from 4chan. We, being hardened internet veterans see this .gif as rather tame; however I broke one of the laws o... | 16 | 325.4375 | |
1401382943 | 1401387673 | t3_26stav | t5_2to41 | 47 | cloud_surfer: TIFU by locking a stranger's dog in another stranger's garage
I am shopping for a house, and yesterday I went with my broker to view some houses. There is this one house we looked at that has an attached garage, but it only had a garage door, and it doesn't have direct access to the house. The house is ... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1401385797 | 1401404872 | t3_26sy2m | t5_2to41 | 11 | fortunate-ones: TIFU mocking someone who asked me out...
So there I was at lunch, reading my kindle in a corner as usual, and a reasonably cute guy walks up to me. He seemed fairly confident, and had a bit of a smug looking smile on his face. He took a quick glance behind him, and turned back to me, doing that weird he... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1401386473 | 1401389976 | t3_26sz8m | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU - I [24m] almost got a girl pregnant, cheated on my girlfriend.
This actually happened last weekend. Me 24[m] with my 25 [f] girlfriend. We were at a bar with some distant friends and stuff having a good time. She went home early (she drove) I told her I'd cab it home later. It's important to note that ... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1401387172 | 1401396602 | t3_26t0gm | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU 4years ago by masturbating to a pic of my cousin
MagmaKnight: Accidentally jerked off to a picture of your 2nd cousin and then contemplated killing yourself. God knows what you would do if you ended up like some of the people on here and accidentally had sex with a family member.
fireisveryfun: Murder ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1401380387 | 1401397695 | t3_26soy7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | nocturnal_alpaca: TIFU by shitting myself in the shower.
This tifu doesn't pan out how you expect it though. So I was having a lovely shower, when suddenly I felt the urge to take a massive shit. Of course, being the idiot I am I decided to try and hold it in. But I failed at holding it in completely and it was coming ... | 5 | 1 | |
1401387102 | 1401400240 | t3_26t0cp | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU by making bagel bites.
My internship is close to my house so I have the pleasure of going home to eat lunch every day. My SO and I are in an LDR and she has been asleep most of the morning so we haven't been talking. I get home and settled, and my phone starts ringing. It's my SO, and she wants to Facet... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1401386658 | 1401474541 | t3_26szjz | t5_2to41 | 1,026 | badbrained: TIFU by farting in my doctor's hot interns face
Although this happened many years ago, the humility scar will always remain...
I was 13 and taking my annual physical for football (american), and it was the first time my mother allowed me to go into the doc's office while she waited in the lobby. I had just... | 7 | 146.571429 | |
1401384579 | 1401392383 | t3_26sw26 | t5_2to41 | 178 | Jpenz42: TIFU BY EXPOSING MYSELF TO A GROUP OF KIDS (AND A TENNIS INSTRUCTOR) NSFW
This actually happened quite sometime ago and upon hearing of this subreddit i thought I would share my story. Here we go.
I am 20 at the time, working as a head counselor for the 11 year old boys group in a summer camp. As part of th... | 4 | 44.5 | |
1401391360 | 1401433769 | t3_26t7mq | t5_2to41 | 92 | Michealmas: Tifu - 'That IT guy' potentially causes millions in damages trying to be a good employee
So I'm an account manager for a services company in the UK. I work my sack off. And this was my day today...
I am the go to guy in our office for IT but I am by no means a guru. I fix PC's and gadgets from home on the... | 7 | 13.142857 | |
1401391564 | 1401395302 | t3_26t7xj | t5_2to41 | 123 | [deleted]: TIFU a bird flew into by dick while i was showering and i broke my arm
I just found out about this subreddit so my fuck up was 2 months ago and excuse me for my bad english. Im trying to make this short.
So i came out of the sauna (i live in Finland) and because the room was so hot i decided to open the win... | 5 | 24.6 | |
1401393445 | 1401397861 | t3_26tb4p | t5_2to41 | 25 | purple_wolverine: TIFU by dropping a knife on my foot
I was cooking dinner on my perpetually messy counter in my very tiny kitchen in my very tiny apartment. Unfortunately, I'm a messy-ass bitch and my sink was full of dishes. So in my genius, I decided to leave the largest knife I owned on the counter. Within minutes ... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1401393695 | 1401396438 | t3_26tbkw | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling wife that her parents behave like assholes.
Lost my cool after regular direct and indirect suggestions from in-laws and wife that I should invest in real estate since everyone else they know have invested.
UltraSpecial: This is the shortest TIFU i have ever seen. I too do not like it when peo... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1401392977 | 1401453421 | t3_26tabp | t5_2to41 | 78 | iwantedthisusername: TIFU by trying to let an old lady take my spot in line. Suddenly blood everywhere.
Today I was at the grocery store. My girlfriend and I were just about to get into line when we saw an old lady with only a few things, so we decide to let her in. I turn maybe 30 degrees to start moving out of the wa... | 4 | 19.5 | |
1401396196 | 1401398810 | t3_26tfxx | t5_2to41 | 10 | Comprehension_Failur: TIFU by slapping my balls pretty hard in the shower.
So, today I'm doing my normal routine. I lather up my beard and hair with some shampoo plus conditioning soap. Then I grab some acne facewash and get that on the rest of my face, not failing to keep a little in my palms so I can rub one out. ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1401397169 | 1401458535 | t3_26tho0 | t5_2to41 | 283 | festess: TIFU by finding the cutest bird I've ever seen, and smearing its guts all over my conservatory
I was in my conservatory with my GF like an hour and a half ago, looking out into the garden when something mildly hilarious happened; a bird came swooping out of nowhere full speed and crashed right into the window.... | 5 | 56.6 | |
1401400778 | 1401410672 | t3_26tnwb | t5_2to41 | 160 | Bro_In_The_Dark: TIFU by uploading nudes of my ex to facebook
This happened a couple of minutes ago. I'm still shaking from the anxiety.
So I sat down at my laptop and felt like I needed a new profile picture on facebook. So I opened up the file browser and began to select a photo. In the mean time, I decided to boot... | 6 | 26.666667 | |
1401400160 | 1401402794 | t3_26tmto | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking X-lax and sleeping pills at the same time
I felt pretty constipated so I took some X-lax really late last night. But i didn't feel it working, and it was getting late so I figured I better get to sleep. So i pop my sleeping pill, and pass out. I woke up around 3am , and there was SHIT EVERYWH... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1401403162 | 1401404515 | t3_26trpy | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing a size smaller
That is from more than ten years ago but I thought I could share. So my friends and boyfriend decided to go to a fun park. As a young teenager I of course wanted to impress my boyfriend and look nice. I looked around in my wardrobe but everything seemed dull. Young me thought I... | 3 | 3 | |
1401406406 | 1401453318 | t3_26twt0 | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU - Home alone, prepared awesome slow cooker meal, then decided to fap, forgetting that I just cut up a jalapeno. Lit whole entire package on fire.
I realized it once I was going at it pretty intensely. Kept going. Finished.
Note to self: don't ever do that again.
smarty1017: Yep....been there....not fun... | 3 | 10 | |
1401406851 | 1401436751 | t3_26txh9 | t5_2to41 | 26 | TheNorwegianViking: TIFU by saying something rape-ish out of context in front of my principal.
Not using a throwaway because this isn't *that* big of a fuck-up.
But anyways, I'm 16 years old, and I live in Norway. This fuck-up happened during an average day at school.
We just had Norwegian class, where we read ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1401408537 | 1401409496 | t3_26tzx1 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Ericthecountryboy: TIFU by using a razor knife and not looking at what I was doing.
I work as a carpenter for a Cabinet company right? We don't use any safety equipment... we're to redneck for that. my hands are pretty thick, so I don't really get cut to often... but today I was using my razor knife to cut some shitty ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1401410528 | 1401416156 | t3_26u2w5 | t5_2to41 | 6 | SecuriNuts: TIFU By having my old employer find pictures of my testicles on my old company cellphone
I used to be a night security guard for a sketchy firm in BC, Canada. I was told id be working daytime time shifts and then was switched back to graveyards last minute. I found a new job at a wal-mart gave my 2 weeks ... | 3 | 2 | |
1401411289 | 1401415640 | t3_26u42b | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by jerking it in the shower. [Disgusting?] NSFW
I should start off by saying that I NEVER fap in the shower.
Earlier this morning I was taking my normal shower, but got extremely horny for some reason. So I finish right into the drain and continue with my routine. I noticed after washing my hair that t... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1401413557 | 1401662635 | t3_26u79z | t5_2to41 | 19 | McsMel: TIFU by liking a guy I met on tinder.
So I started talking to this guy like a month ago, we talked like, ALL THE TIME.He was awesome and super funny. He was always a gentleman, super sweet and respectful. Him being 8 years older than me (I’m 24) I was actually surprised.
We made out, on our second date we got ... | 14 | 1.357143 | |
1401413799 | 1401419715 | t3_26u7n0 | t5_2to41 | 24 | Chambadon: TIFU by opening a bag with a lighter
I work in a meat department at a locally-owned grocer.
Today, I forgot to bring my box cutter to work with me. Not a big deal, I spent the day tearing boxes open instead. Didn't become a hassle at all until I was in the meat cooler by myself after the day crew had left. ... | 9 | 2.666667 | |
1401417072 | 1401674770 | t3_26ucg7 | t5_2to41 | 11 | karmacraze: TIFU by adding vanilla almond milk to my mac and cheese
So I was making a box of mac and cheese and just grabbed the first milk carton in the fridge, didn't realize until after I had added it that it was the carton of vanilla almond milk (at least it was unsweetened). My mac and cheese now has a slightly od... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1401409282 | 1401418315 | t3_26u10y | t5_2to41 | 14 | Mikulicious: TIFU by sneezing on a random stranger's face..
Today I fucked up by sneezing into another person's face...
I was sitting on a bench, my brother, me and a random stranger.
Me sitting at an angle talking to my brother when all the sudden a sneeze comes on fast as fuck with no time to react.. I try to cov... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1401417569 | 1401461845 | t3_26ud6n | t5_2to41 | 12 | PawnAddiction: TIFU by drunkenly snorting Xanax in a bar.
Well very early this morning (basically last night because that is when I started the drinking) I had gotten very drunk at a bar, showing this one dude a good time because he had had a very dull vacation. For some more context, the bar is owned by a friend's fat... | 3 | 4 | |
1401418366 | 1401464690 | t3_26uedi | t5_2to41 | 3,520 | [deleted]: TIFU by not having a towel on after my shower. [Mildly NSFW]
So today I took a shower in the morning. Pretty standard really.
I was home alone for just a bit, everyone had *just* left too, and I had already completed the '2 minute cautionary period' before flamboyantly taking off my pants and loudly singing... | 12 | 293.333333 | |
1401420696 | 1401446773 | t3_26uhkz | t5_2to41 | 76 | Horrific_brian: TIFU by texting my girlfriend "I love you *exgirlfriends name*
I was texting my girlfriend and she seemed sad,so she told me she loved me. I then replied, I love you with my exgirlfriends name, which she despises. She hasn't tested me back and I'm afraid to see her tomorrow,what do I do?
Update: we kin... | 6 | 12.666667 | |
1401420333 | 1401461879 | t3_26uh1g | t5_2to41 | 38 | mad_catmk2: TIFU 20 years ago by pooping myself at the Eiffel Tower
Posting from mobile so hope this works well!
Twenty years ago (when I was 5), I was on a lovely vacation tour with my family in France. I probably ate something that didn't agree with me, and my bowels really decided to go nuts on me at the best tim... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1401588287 | 1401748400 | t3_26u87m | t5_2to41 | 5 | MGUPPY: my covesrtions might ne off it was a 5,000lbs jeep grand cherokee diesel
mlc885: Short ton, Long ton, and Tonne (metric ton) are actually really confusing, which is why people avoid using them.
1 tonne = 1000 kg = ~2200 lbs
So it would be 5 metric tons if it was 5000 kg, but it's actually only a ~2 tonne jee... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1401412099 | 1401455796 | t3_26u588 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Samjez: TIFU by cracking my laptop screen.
I was told to be careful with my stuff, and apparently my ears are full of crap that hinder my listening abilities. I have a tendency to throw around my things, and today I threw my backpack onto the ground before realizing my mistake. When I look at the damage, I think to mys... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1401415998 | 1401519563 | t3_26uatp | t5_2to41 | 25 | WpgDentite: TIFU by mixing up an acquaintance's baby mommas.
This F up happened 2 summers ago.
Here's the background: I have a childhood friend "Ron," and I've gotten to know a few of his friends fairly well, and I have his good friend "Steve" on Facebook. Steve was dating "Kelly" when he found out that he was a fath... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1401423640 | 1401424559 | t3_26uld7 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my job, and a good income.
This won't get anywhere. But that's fine.
I'm an 18 year old, living by myself. I go to school which thankfully scholarships and financial aid pay for.
I had a good job as a salesman. I made enough not to take out loans.
Today, I was given notice that I probably w... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1401424792 | 1401806060 | t3_26umqk | t5_2to41 | 29 | bmanny: TIFU escaping a one night stand.
I'll keep this short.
About 2 years ago. I woke up next to a good body with a nope face. Her dorm was identical to my dorm setup, so I thought I was prepared to make a stealthy escape. After about 5 minutes of painstakingly removing her arms from around my body without waking h... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1401425267 | 1401427643 | t3_26un98 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Chief_BOOMSHAKALAKA: TIFU by shitting myself.
So as the title says, I went ahead and shit myself today for the first time ever in my life that I can remember. Nothing too traumatic or deep but I wanted to tell someone and I figured reddit might have a small place for my story.
Anyway, so I wake up around 7:45 and it's... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1401425372 | 1401700965 | t3_26undv | t5_2to41 | 114 | deluxejuice: TIFU by showing my dad Reddit
So here's how it went(Ill attempt to use green text to keep it easy):
- Hungry
- Walk downstairs to get a snack before bed
- Sees dad on iPad and figured i'd show him reddit to give him something to do! (Because I'm a nice guy)
- "Hey dad have you ever looked at Reddit? It's ... | 9 | 12.666667 | |
1401424763 | 1401450984 | t3_26umot | t5_2to41 | 37 | zehbruh: TIFU by chemically burning my hoohah
To begin with, my ladybits were sort of sore from some over enthusiastic lovemaking on my partners part, and some chafing occurred. The chafing turned into itching, and itching into slight burning a few days later and at that point I was almost positive it had become a yeas... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1401416286 | 1401430967 | t3_26ub97 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sounding like a huge racist in a crowded area
True story... actually happened today. Probably the greatest accidental pun of my life time (I'm pretty boring, I know).
I'm sitting in a bubble tea place, (which if you aren't familiar, are usually asian restaurant/cafes, that have tea, sm... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1401411220 | 1401466383 | t3_26u3z1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my mother I ghost rode my car.
My mom burst out into tears when I told her I ghost rode on my car with a group of friends. She lives in another state, is an ex-cop, and is a worry wart. I don't know what I was thinking when I told her, but when I did she started crying, telling me how she pra... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1401428996 | 1401439551 | t3_26ur9l | t5_2to41 | 28 | BroskiMonster: TIFU by almost burning the house down whilst taking a shit.
So,
I had just taken high school finals today with a huge confidence and decided once I get home I'll reward myself by napping for 3-4 hours. Once I am home I proceed to take a very long and well deserved shut eye. I kind of wake up around 7:0... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1401433050 | 1639705271 | t3_26uv4t | t5_2to41 | 649 | Toshingermann: TIFU by ripping an incredible fart in church.
Okay, to be fair here, it wasn't technically me, it was my brother. Also this was years ago. However, this remains one of the most incredible fuckups I have ever personally witnessed and I figured you guys might get a kick out of it.
To set the stage a bit:... | 6 | 108.166667 | |
1401439130 | 1401450665 | t3_26uzxh | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing my balls on chatroulette.
Long story short, I saw some guys with rangers jersey on and told them to fuck off because the rangers suck balls. They disagreed with me and so I showed them my balls and told them that the rangers suck balls. They reported me and I was insta-banned liked .02 second... | 3 | 1 | |
1401439638 | 1401442992 | t3_26v0am | t5_2to41 | 10 | observe-and-report: TIFU by dumping 50 pounds of shrimp on the floor
I used to work at a meat and fish shop, and my boss would always make me work the holidays. He would sell 100s of pounds of food a day to people. It is also important to note that we had a manager, Sam, and the owner, Dave, who both supervised. I com... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1401412031 | 1401609776 | t3_26u54j | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by being cartoonishly oblivious to an opportunity to make out
This TIFU is not from today, it's from maybe six years ago, but that's okay. Rule number one.
When I was in high school, I was staying at a hotel for a debate tournament. I didn't really have friends on the team so I was talking to this othe... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1401411308 | 1401472041 | t3_26u438 | t5_2to41 | 27 | C4Play00: TIFU By letting my cat sleep my bedroom
So, my girlfriend and I have a few pets, one of which is a cat, two dogs and a chinchilla. We just recently moved into a new house, and the chinchilla stayed in our office in the old one to keep him away from the cat, hence why he wasn't allowed in there ever since he ... | 7 | 3.857143 | |
1401442092 | 1401452924 | t3_26v215 | t5_2to41 | 5 | JoXand: TIFU by procrastinating a 2500-word essay
I had 3 weeks to start my 2500-word essay on common HR violations between 3 countries, and I spent the first half of that planning it out. I nearly finished it on Wednesday (1793) but something fucked up my computer and I couldn't restore my work so I had to make do wit... | 5 | 1 | |
1401449529 | 1401456737 | t3_26v7wh | t5_2to41 | 18 | Fifa_1999: TIFU: Shit happens
I was travelling across Malaysia and ended up on an island off the coast called Tioman (I think!) Now, I always like to sample the local cuisine, so you might think you know where this is going.
After a local fish dish I have a very dodgy stomach. The only toilets are the hole in the grou... | 6 | 3 | |
1401450676 | 1401537341 | t3_26v8wi | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by failing my driving test
So I had my driving test this morning. All was going well until I approached the roundabout and looked to my right to see if someone was there. Well they were, but they were indicating to go left. Cool, I think, I can go. So I happily pull out to go around the roundabout, when... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1401456155 | 1401482867 | t3_26veyk | t5_2to41 | 154 | ladeedaaaah: TIFU by answering a booty call with an upset stomach (NSFW)
I was just sitting down to play with my favorite plug and a vibrator when my FWB texted me to tell me he wants me...I respond to tell him my current situation and that I was thinking of him, so he invites me over so he can fuck my ass properly.
N... | 8 | 19.25 | |
1401458723 | 1401463166 | t3_26vifg | t5_2to41 | 30 | whatamitodoohno: Tifu by giving myself a dry socket
I just got all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. They weren't impounded and I didn't have any jaw stiffness or anything, so I decided to eat a hard-boiled egg. My mouth was still numb and I'd just taken a percocet, so I couldn't really feel anything. But my mouth wa... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1401457704 | 1401481210 | t3_26vgz5 | t5_2to41 | 20 | gloriesguitar: TIFU by turning my bedroom into a Dutch oven.
I was in party mode last night. I get the boys and the booze together and all is well. Beers were drunk, weed was smoked, laughs were had by all. The time came to say goodbyes and head back to our respective abodes. This is where our story truly begins. I hav... | 8 | 2.5 | |
1401463206 | 1401464573 | t3_26vpc5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU: Going to my Ex's house because she had "Family Problems"
Last night around 11:45 I got a call from my Ex. My phone said "Incoming call from DON'T MESSAGE DIS BITCH" So for some reason i picked it up anyways always curious to why she wants to talk. Before i get to much into the story. I broke up with he... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1401464978 | 1401468028 | t3_26vsch | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost hitting pedestrians in front of 10 policemen..
Excuse my spelling and format. This is my first reddit post and being done from a cellphone.
So this event happened to me roughly 2 years ago but still gets me a little nervous when I see crosswalks.
Let me set the scene here: I'm casually drivi... | 3 | 1 | |
1401463313 | 1401482469 | t3_26vpi7 | t5_2to41 | 339 | BigDreamerSmallThink: TIFU when I went to hook up with a girl instead of meeting up with my best friend.
This event happened several years ago, but it is something that has affected many things in my life since.
About 15 years ago I was in juvenile detention. I made a friend there that became almost as close as a brot... | 5 | 67.8 | |
1401463877 | 1401790336 | t3_26vqga | t5_2to41 | 7 | choppysocks123z: TIFU by lighting a can of butane with my hand inside
This was a while ago. Basically I was messing about with one of those butane lighters, I pierced it some how, it was spewing the gas everywhere so I threw it in one of those Mini cheddar cans(empty) and put the lid back on. About a week later the can... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1401469180 | 1401529187 | t3_26vz3w | t5_2to41 | 14 | ditzymissglitzy: TIFU by accidentally mimicking a hand-job. [Mildly NSFW]
So first off, for context, I work in a place with a bunch of bad people. There is a stretch of road I have to walk by that borders the back windows of where these bad people live. I have seen many lovely things while walking by these windows in... | 9 | 1.555556 | |
1401463154 | 1401488775 | t3_26vp8w | t5_2to41 | 65 | cantstopnwont: TIFU by not waiting long enough to fart
So I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and we are getting pretty comfortable with each other, but not comfortable enough to where we feel like it's okay to freely fart in front of each other. This morning I was hanging out at his apartment on the couch d... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1401470748 | 1401800636 | t3_26w1qv | t5_2to41 | 19 | __caught__: TIFU by being caught by my GF
This happened last week to be exact. Finally got around to making a new account to post this.
So my girl was at work for the day and I had the house to myself. After doing some studying and other stuff throughout the day I felt I needed to relax a bit. I texted my girlfriend t... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1401449394 | 1401475928 | t3_26v7s2 | t5_2to41 | 23 | fastal_12147: TIFU by trusting a co-worker to check her work
OK, so I work the night shift at a hotel. Usually pretty boring, nothing much to do. Watch a lot of Netflix. That sort of thing. Well, I came in to work last night and my co-worker tells me some of the road crew staying there has to stay over the weekend, and... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1401473243 | 1401476780 | t3_26w5s2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | gotrektbytrolling: TIFU by trolling
Hello TIFU,
yesterday I had the biggest fuck up of my life. For a long time, my friends and I have been making troll accounts on reddit and harassing everyone we see, especially feminists, homosexuals, and african americans. We always would go to the library of our school at lunch an... | 3 | 3 | |
1401473939 | 1401506987 | t3_26w6yt | t5_2to41 | 177 | fledfromme: TIFU by possibly ending a marriage
Met a guy a couple of months ago, we got involved and it was fantastic. The sex was perfect, and for someone like me, that's a rare thing. He was only in town for a few months, but at his insistence, we continued to be involved long-distance.
Some time after entering thi... | 6 | 29.5 | |
1401474796 | 1401535693 | t3_26w8f6 | t5_2to41 | 135 | Erika216: TIFU by purchasing Reddit Gold
TIFU. Ok, so this was a few days ago, and my apologies if the formatting isn't quite right on this post.
A few days ago I submitted a progress pic and in the comments I complained about losing weight in my boobs and a redditor complimented my boobs.
I purchased the gift of... | 8 | 16.875 | |
1401473655 | 1401493610 | t3_26w6ga | t5_2to41 | 5 | StealthyOwl: TIFU by redditing on my phone in the shower
JJareau: Why the hell would you have thought using your phone in the shower was a good idea???
hybridman: Only place to rub one out some times lol
Ineedthisgrade: >Only place to rub one out Jul oKirk>Only place to rub one out some times lol
times lol
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1401476173 | 1401481043 | t3_26wakp | t5_2to41 | 7 | Born_through_the_ass: TIFU by trusting my new dealer
[deleted]: Ya, you were stupid. Especially by investing that much money in a unreliable, illegal source, so it's not like you'll get any help from the authorities.
Born_through_the_ass: Yep it was pretty damn stupid. But it was just too tempting.
[deleted]: Well, at... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1401472024 | 1401581899 | t3_26w3sj | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU when I spilled scorching hot coffee on my penis
So I just got to work and made my usual cup of Donut Shop K-cup coffee. I had to piss really bad, so I decided to go empty out the duffel bags, with coffee in hand. So there I am, making lemonade in the urinal and sipping on my delicious coffee, when my ph... | 4 | 12 | |
1401476820 | 1401490876 | t3_26wblk | t5_2to41 | 54 | nailpolishonpussygal: TIFU by splashing nail polish remover on my vagina. NSFW
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So this did literally just happen. I work as a cam girl and I generally hang around my apartment naked until I shower after a show. I finished a show and decided to paint my toenails.
This is my first mistake... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1401475927 | 1401649939 | t3_26wa6c | t5_2to41 | 226 | DarbyG: TIFU by walking in on my freinds mom in the bathroom.
Well, it was a nice day and all and me and my buddy mike were just kickin it in his house. Anyways, i was getting ready to go and i had to piss. So me not really thinking, walk right in. my stomach flipped and i saw mikes mom taking a dump. It was like the s... | 9 | 25.111111 | |
1401480417 | 1401496126 | t3_26whln | t5_2to41 | 12 | Fumanshu: TIFU by getting pissed off in front of the vice principal of my school
Backstory:
I was given an assignment to work on along with the rest of my group of students. To keep things a little vague (because I'm afraid people I know will find out about it), let's just say it was manual lab work.
Unfortunately... | 3 | 4 | |
1401481473 | 1401496565 | t3_26wjec | t5_2to41 | 12,010 | [deleted]: TIFU by unknowingly sleeping with my new boss the day before I start my job [NSFW]
Pretty much what happened in the title. After finishing my masters degree and applying for 100+ jobs, I get my dream job with one of the biggest companies in my industry. The application process consisted of 5 interviews, so I... | 15 | 800.666667 | |
1401482600 | 1401483038 | t3_26wl92 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Explosions_Hurt: TIFU by shaving my balls with the electric razor I got for my birthday.
Today I got a razor like [this](https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRx0P8dKC_7dTN3aoelbyJOPdryEcCZkdnvmxWcr0LgFo0FIhhH)
First thing I do with it? Some much needed landscaping!
Pubic area went great but as soon... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1401482607 | 1401485997 | t3_26wl9o | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking, taking a colinzipam, and smoking weed in the same night.
This was actually a week ago, my friend (JG) had just graduated, and we had to party to celebrate it, and we went to my other friend's (JB) (who happens to have 5 of his sisters living with him). My girlfriend sat with my friend (B) t... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1401484264 | 1401487184 | t3_26wo1p | t5_2to41 | 57 | Commmett: TIFU by dating a cripple
Before you think I'm a complete asshole for thinking dating somebody who was handicapped was bad, please read.
Some background info: I went to a tech school where there is a limited amount of women. It's a 5:1 boy-girl ratio and a total of 120ish students. So, not many girls. To fix ... | 7 | 8.142857 | |
1401484826 | 1401572743 | t3_26woxx | t5_2to41 | 248 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating too much (nsfw)
Using my porn account because its applicable
For background I am a 18 year old guy
So I am taking these online classes, and I procrastinated on them a lot so now I have to spend some nights throwing down adderall and cramming a lot of work into a small period of time. Y... | 8 | 31 | |
1401481489 | 1401514567 | t3_26wjfe | t5_2to41 | 15 | cantseemymistakes: TIFU by assuming 100cm = 39" without checking for accuracy.
This happened a few years ago when I got a new job for a fabric company that primarily manufactured made-to-measure curtains but was branching into made-to-measure blinds.
We got our customer's measurements from outworkers who would visit c... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1401484979 | 1401576013 | t3_26wp6n | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my first fight with my 23 year old sister
Im 16 and I have not had a fight with my sister for ages. She is a very ignorant and unpleasant person overall and our family has tried to get along with her since her childhood. So today she came home after meeting up with her friends and like always ... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1401489386 | 1401500151 | t3_26ww2t | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by not disposing of drugs / growing gear / other crap
So. Graduating Uni student, mum came up today and is staying in a nearby hotel. Coming across 6am to help me move out..
Having been a lazy / drunken bastard for the last two weeks I am now left with grow lights, soil, nutrients, a little of several... | 3 | 0.666667 |
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