start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1402975632 | 1403049367 | t3_28c87r | t5_2to41 | 19 | Undew_: TIFU by running a 100m race
So I think I need to give a bit of a backround. Every year my school puts on an athletics carnival and swimming for primary, middle and high school but in different locations at different days of the same week. Every year my cousin and I compete to see who is the fastest runner/swimm... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1403024602 | 1403058180 | t3_28dsen | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking the female bro code.
So my flatmate has been obsessed with a mutual friend of hers since they hooked up, and I mean OBSESSED. Online profile stalking, checking what snapchats he'd opened/who were his snapchat 'besties', uploading stuff to see if he'd like it, the whole shebang. This is a guy... | 5 | 7 | |
1403024085 | 1403026499 | t3_28drec | t5_2to41 | 8 | hclchicken: TIFU by licking my finger
Calligraphy_Poptart: I dunno about you man, but if I change a diaper and feel any sort of moisture on my fingers, I don't care how busy I am. I'm washing my hands.
LS07: I don't understand why people don't wash their hands after changing a diaper.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1403024984 | 1403048167 | t3_28dt5f | t5_2to41 | 108 | ghettobaron: TIFU by almost ripping out my cornea
This happened about a year ago. Around this time I decided to stop regularly taking out my contact lenses every night because it was too much work. So I decided to keep them in until I felt like they were hurting my eyes and I would take them out. Well fast forward abou... | 3 | 36 | |
1403028101 | 1403139018 | t3_28dyo9 | t5_2to41 | 90 | 5ub1im3: TIFU by allowing myself to get "Tommy Boy'd"
Ever seen Tommy Boy? Remember the scene where David Spade and Chris Farley fake being attacked by bees to avoid a ticket?
If not: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU97w2DH5mc
Well that happened to me today. Kind of. I was driving down the road minding my own busin... | 5 | 18 | |
1403028523 | 1403146130 | t3_28dzg7 | t5_2to41 | 63 | Nuke-The-Whales: TIFU by accidentally exposing my tits (in a bra) to my boyfriend's Dad.
So this happened just a few hours ago... Never wearing a strapless dress again.
I stayed at my boyfriend's house last night and he left at 7:45am for work.
I get out of bed around 11:30 and decide to make tea. I grab two mugs tha... | 4 | 15.75 | |
1403029128 | 1403030574 | t3_28e0gm | t5_2to41 | 42 | CheesyGorditoCrunch: TIFU by cooking bacon
I was hungover this morning from a long night of debauchery after USA managed to squeeze a World Cup win past those damn Ghanaians finally. Well my roommate was at work so it was just my girlfriend and I.
We were lying in bed struggling, thinking of what to do/eat with our hu... | 3 | 14 | |
1403030872 | 1403032003 | t3_28e3lc | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by Singing never gonna give you up by Rick Ashley
I know but I misspelled it on the title and now have no idea how to change it
[deleted]: Astley
Jokermort: I know but I misspelled it on the title and now have no idea how to change it back
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403030108 | 1403058782 | t3_28e28f | t5_2to41 | 22 | Prasselpikachu: TIFU by mixing up buddhism and hinduism
So, i had to do a presentation in RE the other day with some other dudes. I wasn’t really prepared, lazy as I am.
Before our presentation some other dudes held a presentation about something hinduism (I did not really give attention) where at some point they talk... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1403034556 | 1403040617 | t3_28eadx | t5_2to41 | 57 | ihaterichardgere: TIFU by trying to get Richard Gere's autograph.
My mother only loves two things in life, making biscuits and Richard fucking Gere. Ever since she saw that dog movie, her obsession with him just consumes her life. Anyway, for her birthday I decided to try and get his autograph on a picture of her in th... | 3 | 19 | |
1403030725 | 1403190069 | t3_28e3cm | t5_2to41 | 80 | MrStealyosquirtle: TIFU by punching a pregnant lady in the stomach
Okay so this isn't exactly a tifu post, more like a 12 years ago I fucked up.
Here we go, so when I was wee little lad I fuckin' loved me some bubbles. Like seriously id flip some shit over bubbles. (What little kid doesn't love bubbles?) and one thing... | 4 | 20 | |
1403035798 | 1403101399 | t3_28ecmk | t5_2to41 | 16 | aTairyHesticle: TIFU by riding my bike without a helmet
I was coming home from work tired as can be at night, took a different route. Big hill, had around 50km/h. Road took a turn, I didn't. Fell on my head. Blood was gushing everywhere, I put my hand and felt a big wound. Tried to get on my bike, I fell. Blood everywh... | 4 | 4 | |
1403037371 | 1403041973 | t3_28efbj | t5_2to41 | 12 | RamonaCheckers: TIFU by reading no sleep before going to my night shift job.
So, I work at a homeless shelter. I'm a 5'4 girl, and my shift is from 1 am to 9 am. I work my shift completely alone and don't have much to do until earlier in the morning, aside from signing people in and doing laundry. Everyone sleeps upsta... | 3 | 4 | |
1403033236 | 1403039474 | t3_28e833 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Jokermort: TIFU by singing Rick Astley to a frenemy
Today started normally English lessons on Tuesdays but; I was feeling a lot more energetic today. Fast forward about 2 hours as I was getting into my English lesson, I sit next to this frenemy i'll call him N for now. We come into the classroom and because my English ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1403038810 | 1403127082 | t3_28ehpe | t5_2to41 | 120 | TheGInsider: TIFU - Telling my dad That it didnt smell like weed.
My dad and i were having a campfire, and Dried pine needles burn VERY well. During this, he says "You know what this smells like? Kind of smells like weed" (the burning pine needles did smell like weed) by heres the fuck up: I said, "No, Thats got a stro... | 11 | 10.909091 | |
1403035930 | 1403046236 | t3_28ecub | t5_2to41 | 25 | athrowawaynessa: TIFU by reading a r/wtf news article
The internet is like an all knowing pet and early this morning it bit me in the ass. Before it did I was happy, I had a plan for my life and I was sure of what I was going to do for once.
My SO and I had plans to move to New Mexico. It isn't the ideal place for m... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1403040489 | 1403109196 | t3_28ekqk | t5_2to41 | 11 | Mrsoulofrock: TIFU by being sarcastic to my employer.
I've been working here for about 5 months and for the first time in about a month I was late, I should be ashamed I know and I am. It was a total of 6 minutes and that was enough for my boss to start ranting about how much wok is created by my tardiness to which I r... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1403041170 | 1403136744 | t3_28eltz | t5_2to41 | 48 | SeattleMana: TIFU by shaking out my wet towel
I just got out of the shower and grabbed my towel which was hanging by the shower. A portion of the towel had gotten wet from the shower so I proceeded to shake it out in front of me. After a few good shakes I began making progress with the motion that maximized pulling the... | 3 | 16 | |
1403040643 | 1403042586 | t3_28ekzk | t5_2to41 | 15 | Macblack20: TIFU by misreading my college assignment and getting a zero on my first test.
I know this isn't as bad as being penetrated by a faucet while having a sexy time shower, but I fucked up today nonetheless.
Let me start by saying that I am in high school, and I decided to take a college course at my local com... | 3 | 5 | |
1403040463 | 1403043235 | t3_28ekoy | t5_2to41 | 75 | thornrak: TIFU by going to the gym for the first time in 4 months.
So football season is just around the corner and i realized i haven't done any exercise for the past couple of months. So being me i think oh ill just go to the gym for the next couple of weeks. So i get to the gym and start my work out half way through... | 3 | 25 | |
1403043093 | 1403047103 | t3_28ep6o | t5_2to41 | 24 | 4sumthrowaway1: TIFU by seeing 2 other men's penises and possibly contracting an STD from a girl I'll never see again.
So last week, I was on a cruise with my family. I met a few other guys while I was there that I would hangout with at night and try to pickup girls with and whatever else. One night, one of the guys co... | 4 | 6 | |
1403043311 | 1403047269 | t3_28epkj | t5_2to41 | 194 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting chewing gum on my vagina.
Yes, you read it right. I got chewing gum on my vagina. I work long hours and before the incident I barely had any sleep for that entire week. So there I am, sitting on the toilet taking the longest piss I could possibly imagine. Elbow on leg, head on palm, just clos... | 3 | 64.666667 | |
1403043401 | 1403070154 | t3_28epq5 | t5_2to41 | 16,205 | Brenvol: TIFU by peeing too hard
I had a meeting at work today. There were about 30 people in the meeting, and it was very important. It was only supposed to last 1-2 hours, but it went way over time. 3 hours after the meeting started, I really had to pee. But seeing as it was already an hour over time, I was confident... | 12 | 1,350.416667 | |
1403044329 | 1403104865 | t3_28er7a | t5_2to41 | 18 | Throwaway_acct_0001: TIFU by allowing my own lies to fester instead of discussing them with the person I love.
It was all my fault. Instead of working it out with her, I procrastinated. I put it off for months and months. I was a fucking idiot. Now I've broken her trust. I don't know if either of us can fully forgive m... | 9 | 2 | |
1403028937 | 1403127775 | t3_28e03w | t5_2to41 | 24 | BuggityHuggity: TIFU Killing a fly with a frying pan
Today I tried my hand at cooking however it didn't go as planned; I was trying to make an omelette, so cracked some eggs, added some veg etc etc and started cooking. It was fine until not one but TWO big ass blue bottle flies came straight through the window and star... | 4 | 6 | |
1403044562 | 1403110183 | t3_28erji | t5_2to41 | 17 | ThrowawayPornTime: TIFU By Watching Porn On My iPod
Okay, so I'm not allowed to connect my iPod to wifi. But sometimes I do it anyways, to get on Reddit, or sometimes I end up watching porn on it. So, the other night, I went to my room around eleven, but my parents staid up late to watch TV. Since my parents almost nev... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1403044902 | 1403098245 | t3_28es4m | t5_2to41 | 20 | rubytwoshoes: TIFU by breaking my own nose
Clumsiness runs in the family. In junior high, my younger sister missed a step on the school bus and face-planted onto the ashphalt. I'm five years older and ridiculed her for years. Today I got my comeuppance.
I stayed up far too late partying last night. I ultimately got a... | 5 | 4 | |
1403035429 | 1407542638 | t3_28ec0z | t5_2to41 | 7 | vreintex: TIFU by not filing a change of address with USCIS
Little background about myself: currently going through i-485/i-130 process (adjustment of status/green card process already in the USA). When my husband and I started this process I wanted to do everything myself but we decided to bite the bullet and hire a l... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1403045906 | 1403231986 | t3_28etr0 | t5_2to41 | 24 | worstpersonever2: TIFU by smashing my jetski into my husband
We're both slightly bruised, but okay. I was following him at what I thought was a safe distance when he suddenly turned and i collided with him sideways. He could have died right there in front of our house. I could have killed him in a split second or sm... | 12 | 2 | |
1403030427 | 1403064598 | t3_28e2si | t5_2to41 | 21 | InsertBadAssNameHere: TIFU by getting dressed while half asleep
I work pretty early so last night I got my clothes ready for work in the morning and set it aside. I also recently got a puppy. I thought it would be okay to leave him in my room while I showered for bed. First mistake.
Once I'm out the shower and go int... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1403049959 | 1403141505 | t3_28f03r | t5_2to41 | 61 | sgthavoc32: TIFU by showing a dick pic to a co-worker
TIFU when I decided to show a co-worker, the gal who sits behind my cube, pictures from my week long vacation from work. All was going absolutely fantastic until I went one swipe too far and it had a blurry picture of my penis. But that isn't the end. I decide to qu... | 5 | 12.2 | |
1403050680 | 1403051184 | t3_28f15y | t5_2to41 | 10 | OPs_a_liar: TIFU by attempting to remove a skin tag with nail polish. (Mildly NSFW)
Okay, so backstory: I have had this skin tag (little flap of extra skin) right next to my manhood for quite awhile (at least a year). It never really bothered me until I started dating. I always thought that if things started to heat up... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1403048066 | 1403131766 | t3_28ex43 | t5_2to41 | 268 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting I am schizofrenic
So... I was just minding my own buisness, walking down the streets, when I realized I had forgotten to call my girlfriend to tell her I was going to go out with my friends. So, naturally, I take out my cell phone and I called her cellphone. Something fell weird, but when ... | 6 | 44.666667 | |
1403053720 | 1403054688 | t3_28f5nj | t5_2to41 | 3 | eterfate: TIFU by fucking with an escort
Yay! I get to post this here (don't know why I am so excited). First of all, let me tell you that I am a really open-minded person and I live by the "always try it at least once rule." Ok now, story time:
Recently I have been really sexually frustrated. I have been busting my a... | 3 | 1 | |
1403054651 | 1403110899 | t3_28f6zk | t5_2to41 | 12 | FALC0_PUNCH: TIFU By exposing my penis to my college campus.
I have been wearing the same black, denim shorts for most of the past year. I suppose I wear them so much because black matches almost any shirt I wear, and I am lazy. Not long ago the button on these shorts broke off, but like I said, I am lazy so I never go... | 3 | 4 | |
1403054294 | 1403154167 | t3_28f6hd | t5_2to41 | 121 | bagelmanb: TIFU by lifting imaginary weights
I do improv from time to time. A few years ago, my troupe had a show coming up so we were practicing to get ready. We start a scene taking place in a gym. Now, in improv you don't usually have props or sets so you have to pantomime everything. I usually crank up the overacti... | 3 | 40.333333 | |
1403049520 | 1403058689 | t3_28ezd8 | t5_2to41 | 47 | the_winter_storm: TIFU by playing hide and seek
*Sigh*.
I have two young godkids, 7 and 5. I took them to the park and everything was all fine and dandy. They wanted me to play hide and seek with them.
Why not? Couldn't think of any reason not to. They told me it was my turn to hide and they would both try to find m... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1403056830 | 1403110269 | t3_28fa9m | t5_2to41 | 360 | [deleted]: TIFU by straightening my pubic hair
So 3 days ago I was very drunk and thought it would be a good idea to go to the salon to get my pubic hair straightened. My dick now looks like a proud lion with a long flowing mane.
EDIT: It may sound like an awesome idea for a costume party but its just not really pract... | 5 | 72 | |
1403057444 | 1403137062 | t3_28fb6v | t5_2to41 | 229 | cringethrowaway29: TIFU by making a 9 year old girl with cancer cry.
Throwaway because other councilors know my reddit. I'm a councilor at a summer camp. My group of girls is 8-10 years old. A few nights ago, I overheard some of the girls complaining to each other that they were fat or ugly. This was devastating for me... | 4 | 57.25 | |
1403058529 | 1403058755 | t3_28fcsf | t5_2to41 | 4 | Samq695: TIFU- Today I fucked up by calling out Mike O'Hearn on instagram
TurnMeOnline420: Mike who?
Samq695: http://instagram.com/mikeohearn
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403058855 | 1403077003 | t3_28fdb7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | username_error1: TIFU by not wearing any sunblock
I was out by the pool today for about...oh... 6+hours on a sunny cloudless day with no sunblock on. That's basically the whole story. You know your sunburn is really bad when you walk into walgreens for aloe vera gel and before you even ask the cashier what you're looki... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1403048890 | 1403154060 | t3_28eye1 | t5_2to41 | 47 | sarasti: TIFU by maturbating after cutting and handling hot peppers
Yesterday the supermarket near me had a big sale on hot peppers, so I bought two dozen ancho and jalapeño peppers. Today when I got home from work I figured I'd grill some chicken and roast some of the peppers to put on top and some more for omelettes ... | 6 | 7.833333 | |
1403059355 | 1403132293 | t3_28fe14 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming in my mouth
This is kinda embarrassing.. and it tasted like salty shit. I'm surprised I decided to tell you guys this, but it's better to share it out on the internet then tell a friend. So it's about 2 am after playing some league of legends. I got tired, and laid my laptop down on the side ... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1403058626 | 1403121416 | t3_28fcxh | t5_2to41 | 4 | shotgunraptorjesus: TIFU by hysterically laughing at a special-ed kid
So my friends and I were sitting in our Algebra II class, bored out of our minds and clearly not doing our work like respectable young lads (this wasn't from today, but recently). One thing to note is that the class just down the hall from us was a m... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403062449 | 1403067416 | t3_28ficp | t5_2to41 | 25 | kn33lbeforezod: TIFU by trying out something new.
TIFU! So, I work at a large retail store, which I won't name for the sake of keeping my job. Anyway, I am a pretty good salesman, but I tend to repeat myself to each of the customers I see. I have a coworker, Frank, who is always giving me hell because I say the same th... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1403061771 | 1403149608 | t3_28fhfy | t5_2to41 | 55 | _MEowGUSTA_: TIFU by not seeing X-MEN: Days of Future Past
This didn't happen today, but actually happened the day before Father's Day.
My family went to see X-MEN as a pre-Father's Day treat. I was invited but declined as I hadn't finished my dad's gift. (I have been painting a cooler for my dad for Father's Day.)
... | 6 | 9.166667 | |
1403065330 | 1403113697 | t3_28fm2v | t5_2to41 | 72 | Memithezombiekiller: TIFU by throwing away an empty whiskey bottle.
So I had a large, I mean, huge, enormous, bottle of whiskey that I had been nursing for some time.
Well, the day had come when the last shot was consumed, and I decided that was not going to keep the empty bottle like some sort of white trash trophy.... | 7 | 10.285714 | |
1403059366 | 1403096354 | t3_28fe1n | t5_2to41 | 2 | evermore88: TIFU by taking a pure cold shower at midnight last night
now I have a fever =\
I was busy all day until midnight then greatly decided "hey it's the summer" I should cool off by taking a cold shower,
apparently it was too cold....
Saymyname85: People are idiots standing in the cold doest give you a cold, o... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1403061530 | 1403097615 | t3_28fh4w | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting trapped in my driveway during a thunderstorm
It started when I decided to leave my house key at home. I took it off the keyring a few days ago and hadn't remembered to reattach it. I always just hit the remote button for my garage door and enter my house that way, so I didn't think anything o... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1403060307 | 1403107539 | t3_28ffec | t5_2to41 | 18 | initialsdrummer: TIFU By Opening My Mouth At Work.
So I work at a Box Office in a Casino in Atlantic City. The people there are either super nice or horrendous fuckers who want you to lose your job because they lost money on a table.
So today I was helping a customer who had made a reservation for our comedy show. Whe... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1403077017 | 1403130114 | t3_28fy67 | t5_2to41 | 29 | reignofcrimson: TIFU by getting a blowjob from my wife
After a long day at work I come home and lay down to go to bed and my wife surprises me with an impromptu blowjob.
Awesome, so she starts going to work on me like its a Vivid video and im lovin every second of it.
So shes tracing the alphabet on my balls with h... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1403076802 | 1403152967 | t3_28fxz7 | t5_2to41 | 68 | valleyfever: TIFU by telling my boyfriend it was a good idea to put a pot of boiling oil on a glass table.
This happened 3 days ago, but we are just realizing how bad it actually was. 3 days ago my boyfriend and I were deep frying food for the first time. For some reason the house got incredibly smoky and burned to see... | 7 | 9.714286 | |
1403077849 | 1403085716 | t3_28fyvb | t5_2to41 | 1 | tifu-throwaway: TIFU by jerking off before sleeping.
So I got high and played some fifa about an hour or two ago and came to my room, only to realize that I was horny. SO I got on my computer and go to sites like Omegle and shit to find a girl to help me out. So I try this for about 30-40 mins of just jerking to keep m... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1403078941 | 1403193771 | t3_28fzqw | t5_2to41 | 4 | HYPERHERPADERP_: TIFU by calling my teacher a bitch in the middle of class
I was in the computer room in my French class on Reddit (as you do) y'know just browsing, procrastinating etc. when my teacher took control of my friend's computer (who was also on reddit) and turned it off, I knew I was next, but yet still I ca... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403076527 | 1403133591 | t3_28fxog | t5_2to41 | 20 | pickjenna: TIFU by watching Orange is the New Black
So I'm an upcoming junior in college, and I worked really hard to get a summer internship in television production in Los Angeles (I'm from Alabama). I've been working at the internship for about 3 weeks now, and it's been going great. Every day at lunch, I watch an e... | 4 | 5 | |
1403080949 | 1403169330 | t3_28g1am | t5_2to41 | 144 | Catherinekeeley: TIFU by kissing my boyfriend
I work until 7-8 AM , then drive half an hour home. Every morning I kiss my boyfriend and then crawl into bed. We have a puppy so sometimes he gets in your face.
Well, I leaned into kiss my boyfriend, and as soon as I touched his face he slammed his fist into my eye socke... | 11 | 13.090909 | |
1403081795 | 1403104979 | t3_28g1y6 | t5_2to41 | 13 | honestlyopen: TIFU by not submitting my coursework on time, thus failing my course.
I, for some unknown magical reason, thought my coursework was due on the 30th. It was due on the 13th. It was the only coursework for the class, so I failed the class and have to resit it. I didn't realize I had messed up until I went t... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1403083024 | 1403128938 | t3_28g2vo | t5_2to41 | 14 | ziggzagg8: TIFU By killing my brothers weed plant
So i was gonna resoil some cannabis plants my brother have been growing and i must have damaged something because it became all lifeless afterwards , tried to sorta fix it, stem snapped its all fucked now, im silently freaking out and my brother is waking up soon and ho... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1403078253 | 1403107321 | t3_28fz6m | t5_2to41 | 29 | BatmanOnHisDayOff: TIFU by doing 'it' in the shower.
It was all good, I have a big shower so there was room for both of us. It was our first time in the shower but I had some idea what to do, how she should position herself etc. . Then it all went wrong, the lube came out. Only a matter of minutes after the lube I atte... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1403088355 | 1403191859 | t3_28g7d9 | t5_2to41 | 100 | Incineration_: TIFU by having a wet dream (NSFW)
(my first reddit post)
well last night me and my Girlfriend went to bed and she is wrapped around me with her thigh over my penis, well i wake up with her poking me i look down to find i had a wet dream and it was blasted up her thigh, her facial expression was what the ... | 7 | 14.285714 | |
1403090017 | 1403108622 | t3_28g8x4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | mylifesucksthrowaway: TIFU by not being able to do an exam to go to college
long story short, i've finished high school in 2010, and i was in college for 2 years until i noticed that i didn't fit in and that wasn't my "thing". obviously, my parents weren't very happy with that, but still, i took a year of, to work. and... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1403085164 | 1403149460 | t3_28g4l0 | t5_2to41 | 11 | PapayaThePanda: TIFU by wanting minty breath
Ok so this happened when I was 9 but whatever. So I'm in my friends bedroom, and we're just hanging out and playing video games and stuff, when I notice a green box on his desk. As I take a closer look, I find out that it's Listerine Breath Strips. At my young age, I haven't... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1403093197 | 1403126828 | t3_28gbx3 | t5_2to41 | 77 | MoistPrawn: TIFU by not using the "Safely Remove Hardware" feature
Today was my final exam, Business, all about China and how businesses operate, etc.
Because I have the handwriting of a 6 year old on meth, I was given a computer to use for the exam, which is great, No pressure for time, I can type so much faster, so ... | 5 | 15.4 | |
1403097703 | 1403177701 | t3_28ghel | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by (not) fucking a milf
So, this was yesterday. I'm still in shock.
I freaking love older woman (I'm 24 and the woman i met was 38). I met her in a store. We started talking, and after a few minutes, she invited me to her house. So we went there, and we just talked on the couch. She was wearing a black... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1403098065 | 1403100428 | t3_28ghwn | t5_2to41 | 9 | Towboat2013: Tifu by eating Flamin Hot Cheetos... [NSFW]
[deleted]: What is it with people on reddit and not being able to control their bowels?
And your TLDR is incorrect, there was no jalapeno involved in the story.
Towboat2013: I understand that but that is what it felt like I got fucked by a jalapeño.
woodsie1995... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1403097937 | 1403116901 | t3_28ghqm | t5_2to41 | 316 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my brother to star in a porno with me [NSFW]
Last night I was enjoying dinner with my family and some close friends. (My mom, brother, and brother's friend were all a little tipsy.) I started texting one of my friends while they were chatting about movies or something you know, not really payi... | 6 | 52.666667 | |
1403099667 | 1403103175 | t3_28gk59 | t5_2to41 | 13 | reformedlurker7: TIFU by pissing all over myself
(This turned out much longer than it needed to be, but hope you all enjoy)
I was at a BBQ at this dude's house that I'd never been to before. Loads of girls I've never met before. I go to the downstairs toilet and start pissing. I look around at the pictures on the wa... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1403093240 | 1403102219 | t3_28gbz3 | t5_2to41 | 6 | ffence: TIFU by corrupting a SD card that had important images and video
Today, my dad asked me if I could record a function that was quite important to my family. He asked me to do it because I'm pretty good at photography/videography and I have a good DSLR to do it with. I said 'Sure! Why not?' as I was free and didn... | 3 | 2 | |
1403102406 | 1403133573 | t3_28go71 | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidently looking up furry porn at work
Mere moments ago. I wanted to send my friend a pic of Kim Jong Il from Team America going herrrooo. I clicked on images without realizing google had corrected to herrrooo to herroroo. Evidently this is the handle of a furry porn artist as I got a look at the f... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1403105563 | 1403554913 | t3_28gtbr | t5_2to41 | 269 | [deleted]: TIFU by sitting on a penny
It was really hot out today, like, a hundred degrees hot. Thus, being a girl I opted to wear a sundress. I went to get into my car, and when I sat down I was met with the most intense, searing, burning pain in one spot–right in between my leg and my butt. I quickly realized that I ... | 8 | 33.625 | |
1403106972 | 1403121222 | t3_28gvmg | t5_2to41 | 365 | [deleted]: TIFU by not locking the front door
So my mom took my son (6mos) out with her friend, who is this older woman I consider to be my grandma, with her grandchildren who are 11 and 13. My boyfriend went out to the grocery store for food for our "sexy lunch date." We don't get to have sex much anymore. I checked t... | 7 | 52.142857 | |
1403108124 | 1403110555 | t3_28gxik | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by drunk texting my future boss
So this was on Saturday, it just took me this long to stop being completely embarrassed by my own stupidity.
Saturday was my birthday, and in true birthday fashion, I proceeded to get absolutely wasted with a group of my friends. After we closed down the bar, a friend wa... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1403107893 | 1403115184 | t3_28gx4k | t5_2to41 | 10 | pissaway117: TIFU by pissing myself at a shopping mall
So I was shopping for clothes, as you do, and suddenly felt a slight urge to pee. I usually have a very resilient bladder and can hold urges to pee for a very long time, so I ignored it and continued browsing.
Huge pile of clothes in arm, I walk into the luxuriou... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1403108499 | 1403145522 | t3_28gy4v | t5_2to41 | 6,498 | specialize_in_this: TIFU by sleeping over my girlfriends house
So last night my girlfriend was going to be home alone. She asked if I wanted to sleep over so I said fuck yeah! I'm not allowed to sleep over her house EVER. So I was super excited. I slept over and fell asleep. Her parents aren't supposed to come home til... | 12 | 541.5 | |
1403108284 | 1403284417 | t3_28gxqt | t5_2to41 | 4 | TheRadicalSloth: TIFU by jerking off on my keyboard
Backstory, I'm a teenage male who's home for the summer with nothing to do.
Usually, at least one or more members of family are at home, and because they are, I can't really indulge my , err masturbatory tendencies in peace.
But today was a day the gods shone on me. A... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403109497 | 1403126103 | t3_28gzrk | t5_2to41 | 84 | hearip88: TIFU by having sex with my girlfriend
My girlfriend had an awful day at work and I decided I'd be the super girlfriend and have an amazing dinner waiting for her when she got home.
One of her favorite foods is bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers on the grill, so I got to work preparing them. I cut them up and m... | 5 | 16.8 | |
1403109327 | 1403122703 | t3_28gzh7 | t5_2to41 | 161 | Jobiwankenobi: TIFU by thinking I was a father.
TIFU so this actually happened a few days ago buy I just got into Reddit recently and this is my first post.
So after seeing 22 Jump Street with my girlfriend, we pulled in to our make out spot by the woods. Before doing our thing she stops me, and says she needs to talk... | 7 | 23 | |
1403112361 | 1403117417 | t3_28h50x | t5_2to41 | 73 | tifubadly: TIFU by asking one of my best (girl) friends to ride me.
Hi reddit,
So I was texting this afternoon with one of my best girl friends and we were just texting about some regular stuff when we began to talk about horse riding. Then I suddenly came up with an idea to tease her(I usually play a prank on her eve... | 7 | 10.428571 | |
1403114265 | 1403118006 | t3_28h8cj | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping my phone in the toilet whilst having diarrhea (NSFW)
Voyager5555: "i was in the washroom having mad diarrhea...All of a sudden, I get horny and wanted to jack off."
The end of humanity can't come soon enough.
zna03: 100% agree. I want off.
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1403114205 | 1403121734 | t3_28h88x | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU By telling my friend, lets stay, your girlfriends here, and we can have a blast!
So, little backstory, me and my friend, we both have girlfriends, who are like, best friends like us, and after our last day of school they invite us over to their house to, 'celebrate' the end of the year, this is sorta wh... | 8 | 1.25 | |
1403115470 | 1403136343 | t3_28haf8 | t5_2to41 | 346 | frothissumbitchaway: [UPDATE]TIFU by logging onto my wife's facebook account.
I read every comment and personal message and thank everyone that gave their advice. I decided I would confront her about it after we put the kids down last night.
I decided I would start out by asking her the essential questions. Do you ... | 6 | 57.666667 | |
1403115924 | 1403121452 | t3_28hbbn | t5_2to41 | 6 | Chrisgarrett_90: TIFU - Sea Cucumbers in Zoology Lab.
This past semester I was taking a Zoology class with a lab. Well on the day of the incident we were dissecting starfish and and sea cucumbers. As most people know the dissection specimen is store in a bucket filled with formaldehyde, a colorless and pungent smelling... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1403117001 | 1403124190 | t3_28hdeh | t5_2to41 | 157 | ticklemybuttcrack: TIFU by tickling my boyfriend's buttcrack
So a couple of nights ago my boyfriend was sleeping over for the night. We smoked a blunt and a bong pack or two. He's pretty ticklish, which is something I like to take advantage of, haha. We were pretty stoned and just watching netflix when I realized that ... | 4 | 39.25 | |
1403113153 | 1403118174 | t3_28h6hs | t5_2to41 | 3 | bruno238: TIFU by missing my final exam
This was last week during the finals weeks. I had two exams, one on Monday and the other on Tuesday. Since the class for Monday's exam meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I thought the exam would be on Tuesday. This has never happened to me before, I'm usually attentive in class an... | 3 | 1 | |
1403117796 | 1403126619 | t3_28heuv | t5_2to41 | 10 | bam2_89: TIFU by not reading the fine print on my scholarship.
I got into a law school out-of-state that is better and cheaper than any place I could go in-state. The state has a mere six-month residency requirement and was nice enough to give me a $7,000 for the first semester to close the gap between in and out of st... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1403119803 | 1403125941 | t3_28hiet | t5_2to41 | 3 | FiguringOutMyLife: TIFU almost getting caught in bed by girlfriend's mom.
Lockjaw7130: Oh man. Can I ask what age you are (I'm not familiar with terms like "seniors in college")? Once you get old enough, definitely get away from those racists. It's never good if you have to hide your love!
FiguringOutMyLife: 21, and i... | 3 | 1 | |
1403120777 | 1403125943 | t3_28hk4n | t5_2to41 | 6 | planb7615: TIFU by trying to change the way my fridge opens and left it plugged in the whole time.
thegreatbunsenburner: Some quick questions:
* Could you post the model of your fridge (maybe even a PDF link to the user guide)? That might help us get a better idea of how it handles being left open for a long time.
*... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1403124195 | 1403125669 | t3_28hq1r | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping at my girlfriends as well.
When you start a new medication and it explicitly states not to drink alcohol, then you go out and drink more than you have in about a year; you know what it's like to be me. Before indulging at a local club, I bumped into car whilst attempting to parallel park. Th... | 6 | 2 | |
1403119637 | 1403151605 | t3_28hi4m | t5_2to41 | 32 | Thedopestdinosaur: TIFU by tackling a crying dude.
A group of friends and I were at the bar when we decided we should go to the car for something(don't remember, I was drunk). During this two block journey, we came upon a skinny dude holding a binder or something in front of his face.
The way he was standing, I thoug... | 4 | 8 | |
1403124676 | 1403253802 | t3_28hqsi | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by spraying deodorant
So I go to this school in UK where Health and Safety is like our religion, you can't do this you can't do that. There is a strict ban on deodorants, but people still use them including me.
So it was the first lesson of the day, everybody is in the classroom waiting for our teacher... | 5 | 1 | |
1403127522 | 1403153504 | t3_28hw09 | t5_2to41 | 6 | ThePhantomJacker: TIFU by getting high at a friend's house
So I was up late at a friend's house, which had me and various other people in it. I alone am still up at 5 in the morning, so I decide to smoke. A lot. I get back inside and lie on the couch. My hands are moving around and stuff then I realize that I can make ... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1403123783 | 1403143339 | t3_28hpdz | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my cat in my room
TIFU I woke up this morning and shut my door, got in the shower, and drove to school. When I got home I found I had locked my cat in my room. He displayed his displeasure by shitting on my pillow as well as pissing all over the floor.
razortipwhip: take a shit wherever he sl... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1403126496 | 1403159677 | t3_28hu62 | t5_2to41 | 77 | rubberstud: TIFU by giving my girlfriend a nosebleed.
This, I assure you, did not happen as you may have expected.
My girlfriend and I had spent the latter part of the day drinking and we were pretty tipsy as a result. When we got back to my place we began getting hot and heavy in the bedroom. So, she was on top and ... | 4 | 19.25 | |
1403131163 | 1403209639 | t3_28i24g | t5_2to41 | 312 | superpervy: TIFU by listening to the people next door have sex.
I live in a major city where houses are stacked next to eachother. My room borders the another bedroom in the house next door, and when both of our windows are open we can hear everything.
I was home alone browsing reddit and doing some research when I ... | 5 | 62.4 | |
1403131288 | 1403194860 | t3_28i2b7 | t5_2to41 | 373 | MediocriMe: TIFU by getting road dome
So this started a couple days ago and now that it has all played out I thought I let reddit in on my fuck up.
So this all started with Tinder (for those of you who don’t know it’s essentially a "dating" app that I like to use for the casual hookup.) Although my luck with Tinder i... | 8 | 46.625 | |
1403132408 | 1403137641 | t3_28i3yx | t5_2to41 | 9 | throwmeofftheroof: TIFU by celebrating my job, hooking up with a friend, and missing work
Last night I went out to celebrate the fact that, although I've been worried about getting laid off this summer, it didn't happen. I was supposed to have one or two drinks with a friend and then go home and get to sleep early. One... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1403132196 | 1403279516 | t3_28i3nt | t5_2to41 | 3 | PM_ME_QUESTIONS: TIFU by making fun of cancer to a victim's face.
Actually happened today. Anyway, I met up with some friends earlier outside of a pizza place. My buddies A and B brought along a girl named G who I had never seen before. My group has a pretty messed up sense of humor, so I started making jokes about can... | 3 | 1 | |
1403133069 | 1403204668 | t3_28i4ze | t5_2to41 | 184 | colerocks123: TIFU By telling my girlfriends family I love anal sex at the dinner!
So, this is retarded, I was having dinner at my fairly old fashioned super religious girlfriend's parents, I knew her father didn't like me, so I went in optimistic thinking that I might be able to win him over, my god was I wrong. Dinne... | 5 | 36.8 | |
1403134043 | 1403135043 | t3_28i6e9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Fireboltsword: TIFU by possibly sending my best friend to jail. For the second time. I just lost my best friend.
Well, on the /r//ImGoingToHellForThis subreddit, there is a troll post that links the 'Apply for Mods' application to searching for cp on the fbi website.
I have a best friend, who has a dark sense of humour... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1403134399 | 1403192636 | t3_28i6zj | t5_2to41 | 460 | FizzPig: TIFU by making the clerk at walgreens think I was gonna have sex with my dad for his birthday
So I (25m) was in walgreens earlier today and I picked up the following items: a bar of soap, a bottle of gatorade, a box of condoms and a birthday card for my dad. When the clerk was ringing me up (not paying much at... | 6 | 76.666667 |
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