start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1403364803 | 1403379612 | t3_28q604 | t5_2to41 | 19 | Cokeblob11: TIFU by splattering acid across my face and breathing chlorine gas
Story time! I should probably preface this with the fact that this happen about 6 months ago, not today. So I'm a bit of chemistry nerd and I tend to do a lot of weekend experiments, and currently one of my long term projects is making as ma... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1403365800 | 1403388355 | t3_28q78i | t5_2to41 | 169 | GelComb: TIFU by brushing my teeth in my sleep.
First of all, I'd like to point out that for the last few years, I have had a special magical ability. I have always hated having a nasty mouth and whatnot, and if I ever go to bed without brushing my teeth, I will always wake up and they will be brushed and minty. Sleepi... | 4 | 42.25 | |
1403371257 | 1403424123 | t3_28qeua | t5_2to41 | 26 | Krazedmigit: Tifu by getting dressed
Okay so im getting dressed to go on a date with my girlfriend of a year and eight months. Its still a few hours until the date but im bored af so whatever. She had recently bought some new fake guages and had them delievered to my house. I decided to try the rasta ones on as a jok... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1403369509 | 1403401703 | t3_28qc7f | t5_2to41 | 3,020 | oblioandthepoint: TIFU by looking down. NSFW
Turd_in_the_hole: Any hole is a goal?
CrispyBiscuitz: "GOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!" *shouts the TV broadcaster as the US scores, while my husband simultaneously shoots his load up my nostrils*
Not_a_vegan_: >GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... | 13 | 232.307692 | |
1403375482 | 1403378833 | t3_28qkmj | t5_2to41 | 19 | semenfresh: TIFU by brushing my teeth with semen (NSFW)
So, yesterday morning I returned home after a night of partying. Having got little action at said party I was feeling a little frisky. I go upstairs to get changed and then soon find myself masturbating.
I cum. Everywhere. I wipe what I can off with a tissue and... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1403375944 | 1403391229 | t3_28qlag | t5_2to41 | 20 | metalclassicrock123: TIFU by being a week late to a job interview.
Not much of a storyteller but here's how it went down. On Wednesday I was passing out resumes looking for a job. One of these places was a fast food place at the mall food court.
Me: "Hi, I'd like to drop off a resume."
Cashier/Manager: "Okay, would y... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1403376572 | 1403411260 | t3_28qm65 | t5_2to41 | 8 | CertifiedNutso: TIFU by having a few beers
So a few weekends ago my boyfriend and I had a party with some of our friends at our house for a combination birthday bash. Drinking and hookah and Xbox was pretty much what happened. Just a bunch of carefree kids shooting the shit and enjoying each others company.
So, my bo... | 4 | 2 | |
1403378866 | 1403478883 | t3_28qpao | t5_2to41 | 104 | studyshitter: TIFU by getting shit in my roommate's text book and now I don't know what to do.
Alright, reddit, I'm coming to you asking for advice. This happened about 20 minutes ago and I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends. So I'm taking a summer course at my college and I have an exam coming up on Monday, which I'm... | 5 | 20.8 | |
1403378732 | 1403387349 | t3_28qp56 | t5_2to41 | 21 | wrinkled_nightmares: TIFU saw century-century old tits
This happened a few years ago.
My family is staying at a cabin in Idaho. It was quite small and only had one non-master bathroom. We probably had around 10 people staying there.
After breakfast, I need to use the bathroom.
I notice the light on but expect someo... | 3 | 7 | |
1403379762 | 1403409446 | t3_28qqhq | t5_2to41 | 26 | whitestass: TIFU, wore shorts that didn't fit, and mooned everyone.
I forgot to take my shorts for PE class yesterday, and had to borrow my friend's extra pair. She's a little bit bigger than me (not fat =:> I'm just small) so they were a bit loose, but I pulled the drawstring as tight as it'd go and figured I'd be ... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1403381170 | 1403416898 | t3_28qsf3 | t5_2to41 | 27 | HarryBojangles420: TIFU by shitting too fast on holiday.
lukesta72: That's bad. I hate it when the people in my fucking house can't replace the tp. It takes a minute to grab another roll from wherever kept, and put on the fucking holder.
Esscocia: I'm curious, are we just supposed to pretend like half of these posts a... | 3 | 9 | |
1403381514 | 1403430759 | t3_28qswd | t5_2to41 | 46 | Lucifuture: TIFU by masturbating after chopping up peppers.
I was making amazing chili with Serrano peppers, and I washed my hands after. Not well enough though because my stick is on fucking fire. Luckily I had a carton of whole milk that went bad in the garbage so I chopped the top off it to stick my burning dick in.... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1403381676 | 1403506772 | t3_28qt3y | t5_2to41 | 18 | Dyesce_: TIFU by not telling reddit my e-mail-adress.
Teotwawki69: >It's composed of the first letters of a sentence.
Dyesce? Only thing I could come up with was "Do you enjoy sucking cock eagerly?"
Migratory_Locust: I guess he meant the Password. He obviously knows his nick if this one is the same with an undersc... | 7 | 2.571429 | |
1403383004 | 1403388225 | t3_28quw9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by sharting myself
PCdiciple: Calm down, Shit happens.
Justin_Dweeber: Shart Happens
FTFY
le_mous: ..But only on Saturdays.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1403382962 | 1403557638 | t3_28quu2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | ns_throwaway: TIFU by submitting my online exam early
F&&k Blackboard!!! My instructor gave us an extra day to do the 2nd exam, I figured I could use the time for additional studying (i.e cramming). After reading and memorizing a crap load of stuff I have no interest in, but still relevant to my major and a req... | 4 | 2 | |
1403374606 | 1403403118 | t3_28qjdm | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by killing all of my parents plants.
They bought them and told me to make sure I water the plants so they don't die 2 weeks ago because we have guests over tomorrow.
I water them for 1 week but after going over to people's houses during the summer and staying there all day I forgot. Last night I told ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1403384407 | 1403387954 | t3_28qwp9 | t5_2to41 | 29 | GayBBQParty: Tifu by not washing my hands well enough.
So this happened two weeks ago but I figured I'd share my idiocy. My buddy was having a cook out in his back yard and it was the first time I was seeing a bunch of people that I grew up with. After being there for a bit I was asked to head out to the store to grab... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1403386743 | 1403390491 | t3_28qzui | t5_2to41 | 37 | calma_calma: TIFU by dropping a 3 year old
Before I share my story, I'd like to say that this didn't happen today.
So my Aunt, who lives outside the city, visits the whole family every once in a while. She has this adorable son, who's 3 years old, just like my sister, let's call him M. Anyways, both of them wanted to... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1403389988 | 1403417644 | t3_28r4go | t5_2to41 | 116 | TheTeamClinton: TIFU by turning my niece in law into a little bigot.
Okay, this might not sound as funny in text, but it was hilarious at the time. Earlier today I was helping my girlfriend babysit her nieces. Well, the littlest one is 3 or 4, and doesn't talk much. She hardly ever says a word. Well she comes up to me ... | 3 | 38.666667 | |
1403392580 | 1403394318 | t3_28r81v | t5_2to41 | 14 | Mailablemage: TIFU by not checking a mechanics work
This happened a few days ago (shocking i know, a TIFU thats not about today) but i didnt realize i had fucked up until about 10 minutes ago so oh well.
So last week my girlfriend and I moved to oregon, during the trip the check engine light turned on and the speedome... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1403396458 | 1403464584 | t3_28rcrj | t5_2to41 | 378 | TitsInSpace: TIFU by shitting in my hand in front of my boyfriend
This happened a little while ago, but I thought that today, being 'shat myself Saturday', made this story appropriate to share.
Okay, let me begin by explaining why this even happened. My boyfriend has this thing where he cups a fart in his hand then '... | 6 | 63 | |
1403397799 | 1403454699 | t3_28red9 | t5_2to41 | 168 | Dumbass_teen: TIFU by preparing to jerk off
So, my parents were going out tonight, and since I'm a 16 year old boy I did what any other teenage boy does. I prepared to beat my dick and raid the alcohol.
Earlier on in the evening I visited my favourite porn sites and loaded all the videos in incognito tabs ready for t... | 6 | 28 | |
1403396625 | 1403457941 | t3_28rczu | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU by Accidentally Ignoring a Kid with Down Syndrome
This actually happened last week.
I was out to dinner for my dad's birthday at a fairly nice restaurant. We snuck in just before the dinner rush because we had a large party. After our orders were taken, I had to take a piss. I went through the lobby... | 4 | 13 | |
1403382673 | 1403433124 | t3_28qugv | t5_2to41 | 18 | PsychedelicSheep: TIFU by trying to hitchhike to Paris
It was about this time last year, and I was travelling through France. I was staying with a family in central France, not far from Limoges. I'd never hitchhiked before, and I wanted to try and hitch a ride from Limoges to Paris.
It didn't start well. I stupidly d... | 3 | 6 | |
1403402839 | 1403426030 | t3_28rkha | t5_2to41 | 14 | Thisladylovesyou: Tifu by leaving work
So I work as a waitress. Basically I got in trouble for finishing my work on time. Because my coworkers didnt, the dish washers' boss wanted us to stay after and help them because we took too long busing tables. I told him I couldn't because I had to walk home and its a far walk. ... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1403400956 | 1403403776 | t3_28ri3w | t5_2to41 | 8 | HankyPankyMilk: TIFU by racially profiling... 😁
StJimmysAddiction: Sounds to me like they thought you were just being friendly and saying hi while you waited.
HankyPankyMilk: Yes, I agree.. I don't think they caught on. BUT I still feel embarrassed for making the assumption.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1403409211 | 1403478846 | t3_28rrue | t5_2to41 | 14 | The_Anal_Intruder: TIFU by getting morning wood at work
Today was my first monthly night shift at work. I was riding my downhill bike all day yesterday and then went directly to work. At 5 AM I was exhausted, and kinda just leaned back on my computer seat, and 5 minutes later I was sleeping.
Until my coworker came to... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1403407586 | 1403429356 | t3_28rq2n | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by "M'lady"-ing.
Well here it goes. I was at the mall earlier with some friends and we were about to walk through the front doors that automatically opens, a girl who I have a good bit in common was walking beside me and we both couldn't fit through so jokingly I say "M'lady." And wait back just a sec... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1403409350 | 1403431315 | t3_28rs0m | t5_2to41 | 4 | Badluckthrowaway588: TIFU by trying to do a nice thing and ended up getting robbed :)
Trying to be optimistic but we'll shit happens
Pretty much I was just getting my little nephew a ps4 bought it lost the recibt and found out another member of the family was getting him same thing so I asked him what he wanted he sai... | 4 | 1 | |
1403409742 | 1403462502 | t3_28rsh2 | t5_2to41 | -2 | lol_that_dog: TIFU by getting mad at my ex-girlfriend
so the other day, like 3 years ago, i was at my appartment with my gf and our puppy. the puppy he didnt know how to piss/shit outside so he always did it inside like a fucker. one day he shat yet another time on the floor and i go see the gf and im like you need to ... | 4 | -0.5 | |
1403409790 | 1403452804 | t3_28rsjp | t5_2to41 | 1,943 | Winendinen69: TIFU by masturbating with my mom sitting next to me (NSFW)
This didn't happen today, but I had just come to terms with it because of how mortified I have been in front of my mom since it has happened.
This happened when I was 12 and I (female) had just figured out what masturbating was and how good it f... | 13 | 149.461538 | |
1403410895 | 1403550344 | t3_28rts8 | t5_2to41 | 42 | ohmally: TIFU by swimming nude in a pool that isn't clothing optional
I've been considering posting this fuck up for a couple of weeks now, and have finally summoned the courage to do so. For a bit of context, I'm pretty shy and hardly ever step out of my comfort zone to experience new things. I told myself that this s... | 5 | 8.4 | |
1403411898 | 1403435570 | t3_28ruvu | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking one question
Back Story: Over the past year I became really good friends with two girls, Sam and Emily (names changed), who have already been good friends for around 10 years. We started hanging out 2 to 5 times each week for hours at a time and talking each night until we fell asleep. Sometim... | 5 | 8.6 | |
1403416918 | 1403514280 | t3_28rzrj | t5_2to41 | 785 | [deleted]: TIFU by sticking my dick in the freezer (NSFW)
Ok so this happened about 5 years ago but I recently discovers this subreddit.
So alone, 15 year old, hormone crazed me asks himself "I wonder what it's like for my dick to be ice cold." So I stuck my dick in the freezer and saw some ice on the little shelf th... | 12 | 65.416667 | |
1403420230 | 1403420720 | t3_28s2i0 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU because Ambien
Okay, so I've been taking Ambien for three weeks now because of sleeping troubles. Usually takes about 2-4 hours for me to fall asleep without it, like 20 minutes with it.
Last night, I took my prescribed dosage (1 10mg pill) and went to bed. For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep, thou... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1403417531 | 1403531795 | t3_28s0a1 | t5_2to41 | 35 | throwaway012375: TIFU by jilling after giving my gf an Icy Hot back rub
GF had a long day at work and her back was hurting. I rubbed her down with Icy Hot to help with the ache. Afterwards I was feeling pretty "inspired" but she wasn't into it. No big. Once she went to sleep I washed my hands like three times and went ... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1403421731 | 1403422926 | t3_28s3me | t5_2to41 | 4 | Bluebuds: TIFU by undertipping the bartender as a member of the service industry.
I work as a server. I always make a point to tip my waitstaff well. Today I fucked up. I ordered a drink and a six-pack to go at the bar simultaneously as my first order. I wasn't planning on staying at the bar at all, but I saw people I ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403389627 | 1403638610 | t3_28r3ya | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by adding vanilla extract
Before I get started, this major fuck up occurred about a year ago. At the time, I didn't really know about reddit, let alone /r/tifu.
It was the second day of my scout camp competition thingy. My patrol, behind, but in a position where we could easily get into second place ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1403426240 | 1403437186 | t3_28s6qz | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by going underground
Hi Reddit. I've been waiting for a chance to submit a fuck up, but now that it has happened, I'm feeling quite conflicted.
Today, for the first time ever, I went underground. Specifically, the Ape Cave, which is a popular tourist attraction in Washington State, and it is basically ... | 5 | 7 | |
1403416685 | 1403464985 | t3_28rzkc | t5_2to41 | 82 | dkkluck: TIFU for "flirting" with my girlfriend's sister
A few days ago, I had to help my girlfriend's sister pick up some stuff for her new apartment. After we hauled it all inside, we decided to grab dinner.
We were just chatting and it was a pretty casual place. About ¾ in to the meal, I remembered that I owed her... | 3 | 27.333333 | |
1403414255 | 1403472600 | t3_28rxa7 | t5_2to41 | 3 | bunnybinta: TIFU by buying my phone online
So I live in Dominican Republic, I used live in New York . I recently bought a samsung galaxy 5 from amazon and little did I know that you need to pay tax to get it . It's like a 100 dollars more and I don't have the money . So now I'm broke and screwed .
steezyvape: Dude, you... | 3 | 1 | |
1403436273 | 1405445027 | t3_28sd0t | t5_2to41 | 16,776 | jaytune: TIFU fingering my wife.
So today I was sitting on my couch enjoying some Jalapeño Kettle Chips when my wife walked in the living room.
fbifriday: The most clear and concise TIFU. One that needs no more than the title and one sentence to send everyone cringing at how bad you fucked up. Congrats.
jaytune: Any m... | 19 | 882.947368 | |
1403438463 | 1403455833 | t3_28sefg | t5_2to41 | 14 | lannistertifu: TIFU by mixing free drugs and incest
doomsawce: You know Molly can be injested orally...
lannistertifu: Yes, but it's a different experience. I know.
doomsawce: Then why not hotrail it
lannistertifu: Hotrail?
doomsawce: Take a metal tube (or glass) like a little one hitter. Heat one end till it's glowin... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1403439862 | 1403512150 | t3_28sffu | t5_2to41 | 53 | DJSCR3W: TIFU by laughing at my SO while she almost drowned
First post so why not post it to TIFU?
My SO, her nephews and I were all swimming for an hour or so. It was about time to get out so the kids get out the pool first and head into the house. Im busy taking out the pool toys from the pool and my SO is climbing ... | 6 | 8.833333 | |
1403438794 | 1403456762 | t3_28seo0 | t5_2to41 | 18 | The_Real_Shaggy: TIFU by running a red light on my motorcycle
Me and my GF had got into a small fight before she left for work so an hour before she was supposed to get off i went to the mall and sat in front of the store reading a book. 3 hours after she was supposed to get off she finally comes out and we talk for a ... | 3 | 6 | |
1403441724 | 1403473217 | t3_28sgvo | t5_2to41 | 9 | EffingLuke: TIFU by storing my sunglasses in my shirt
Summer has begun where I live. The hot days are awesome (we had such a crap winter). I decided it was that time of year to get this summer's pair of sunglasses, and having just started a new job I didn't spare any expense. Picked up some really nice Oakley's (the Sh... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1403440433 | 1403470220 | t3_28sfuv | t5_2to41 | 97 | Beyond_Hunter: TIFU by killing my neighbour's cat
This happened to me years ago but I have always felt guilty about what happened. I moved to Singapore and lived in an apartment with my wife and daughter. We lived on the 10th floor and our neighbour who owned a cat lived on the 11th storey. This cat that we are talking... | 5 | 19.4 | |
1403448319 | 1403479796 | t3_28sn29 | t5_2to41 | 187 | NCWithasuit: TIFU By showing the entire class my porn folder
So this incident happened a few weeks ago (4, maybe 5).
Anyways. We all have weird fetishes. Some are worst than others.
Well, mine is, i get turned on by girls at my school. Not all of them, but some of them certainly look very good. So, you know, i have a... | 12 | 15.583333 | |
1403447813 | 1403505188 | t3_28smje | t5_2to41 | 6 | misterneut: TIFU by making delicious fajitas
so no shit there i was making, which turned out to be amazing, fajitas. Cutting up the veggies and meat getting everything prepared, washed my hands a couple times then i rubbed my eye. did i mention that i used a habanero...well the flames of hell encompassed my eye..i pani... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1403457967 | 1403460753 | t3_28svj9 | t5_2to41 | 1 | StyrofoamFloater: i live in ohio, buddy.
StyrofoamFloater: country boys know how to treat them ladies, apparently ;)
Jenkins91: Ah I see. So you're a redneck who no doubt engages in horrendous incestual sex with his disgustingly hideous sister. And you think, in all your ignorance, that seducing a family member is equ... | 9 | 0.111111 | |
1403447433 | 1403458446 | t3_28sm4y | t5_2to41 | 72 | forgotmyfuckingname: TIFU by waiting to let my friend's cat in.
**EDIT: NSFW, FORGOT TO ADD THAT TO THE TITLE.**
So a couple things you need to know going into this:
-I have this very tight friend group of about 5 people. We regularly sleep at each other's places on the condition we don't eat the host family out of h... | 3 | 24 | |
1403457500 | 1403474570 | t3_28syny | t5_2to41 | 16 | bddm24: tifu by talking to a customer at work
So I work in a meat department at a grocery store. I was filling one of the bunkers with some chicken that was on sale, and this guy was looking over my shoulder at something. I wasn't sure if he was looking at the chicken I was putting out or the pork that was next to it.... | 4 | 4 | |
1403460534 | 1403558412 | t3_28swc8 | t5_2to41 | 41 | John_Ga1t: I'm pretty sure it is a triple shot of espresso
Cavanus: Black is 2 shots and red is 4
apple_2: No red eye is coffee with one added shot. Black eye is coffee with 2 added shots.
The_Brojas: A JFK is 3 added shots
lilylupo95: Shots fired.
420smoking: All units respond.
veryunikeboy: base to all units; shot... | 7 | 5.857143 | |
1403456794 | 1403468385 | t3_28sxo5 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: [META] TIFU in an obnoxious sexual situation
[Hey guys, sex! (amirite??)](http://imgur.com/EkSfpod) (taken directly from the front page)
This is what happens when a subreddit becomes a default. Let it serve as a warning for all other subreddits.
^^^sex
shadecrawler: Yeah. That sucks! I'd way rather have... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1403457526 | 1403475459 | t3_28sypo | t5_2to41 | 16 | JedLeland: TIFU by being out of tune with my own body
Went out to brunch this morning at a neighborhood place where I hadn't been in a while. It was delicious: a garlic and fiddlehead scramble, home fries, nut toast, and a croissant afterward because they just looked so tempting. And with all of this, a bottomless cup... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1403458563 | 1403488973 | t3_28t05l | t5_2to41 | 297 | TIFUguy: TIFU by eavesdropping on my fiancee and her friend's conversation.
My girlfriend and I live together. This morning I decided to stay in bed a little longer while my girlfriend decided to get up and make some coffee for her friend who came over to pick her up for their morning work out. The two girls know each ... | 8 | 37.125 | |
1403458117 | 1403497071 | t3_28szj6 | t5_2to41 | 20 | virginiashewoolf: TIFU by mistaking my SO for a cat
We were lying in bed cuddling, and he started to fall asleep, so my instant reaction to get his attention back was to make kissy sounds, like I normally do to get my cat's attention. He gave me the weirdest look, and asked why I was making cat sounds at him.
zebraldi... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1403461763 | 1403482036 | t3_28t4sy | t5_2to41 | 24 | WillGsmith: [NSFW] TIFU by putting on a condom in the dark.
It all started when me and my girlfriend were watching some Netflix yesterday night. Things got pretty heated as we hadn't seen each other for a while (3 weeks). Things lead to another until we were both naked under a blanket and wanting to proceed to the next... | 6 | 4 | |
1403461371 | 1403462678 | t3_28t48f | t5_2to41 | 54 | Phillyfan10: TIFU by not visiting my Grandma..
This was a few months ago, but I am new to reddit and feel as though I need to share my story.
It was a few months ago and my family is having a Sunday afternoon get-together at my Grandma's house. It was a casual get together, just a bite to eat, and shooting the shit w... | 3 | 18 | |
1403462545 | 1403557712 | t3_28t5wn | t5_2to41 | 31 | dirtyhandsam: TIFU by telling my saying that my friends daughter is a hot babe on her 18th birthday.
I haven't seen these friends in 5 plus years. It was their daughters 18th birthday, and I just happened to be when I was in town. I used to hang around when they were all pretty little. It was not meant as a creepy- i ... | 9 | 3.444444 | |
1403463978 | 1403520935 | t3_28t813 | t5_2to41 | 22 | idamnedit: TIFU by doing some landscaping
So I live out in the middle of nowhere and we have a lot of trees in our yard. There is a patch of trees in the front yard that looks awful and is sucking up all the water, killing the grass.
So over the past couple of weeks I have been cutting down the trees. I have been do... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1403463008 | 1403480211 | t3_28t6kk | t5_2to41 | 59 | assburner: [NSFW]TIFU by eating out my SO
Wasn't today, but a few weeks ago. We went to try out this new Tex Mex place that opened up nearby. Being a chili head that I am, I ordered the hottest "Ass-burner" flavoured hot wings. She shared them with me. We couldn't handle the heat so gave up and ordered other things.
A... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1403465207 | 1403501070 | t3_28t9sj | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by vomiting on my own dick and I almost died
(happened about 2 days ago, never thought about posting it here though) I am underage and parents work most of the time, but I enjoy narcotics (sadly) so it started with "hey I still have prescription drugs, alcohol, and I dont have a lover" so I popped 2 hyd... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1403466170 | 1403481004 | t3_28tb64 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to show my mom a video.
now basicly, nice sunday evening getting horny as most 18 your olds. so I get on the interwebs looking up some porn. Then I hear my mom coming upstairs so you know closing the tabs(thank fuck I didn't have my dick out yet) and go back to reddit. there I see a video tha... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1403466706 | 1403468463 | t3_28tbxe | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by drawing a clown sodomizing a child (NSFW)
Was hanging out with some friends last night smoking and carrying on. My buddy knows that I can't draw very well and that all my drawings look like they are drawn by children so he decides I should draw some scenarios that he comes up with. I drew about 4 or ... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1403464364 | 1403471670 | t3_28t8lj | t5_2to41 | 5 | dude2k5: TIFU by leaving a piece of wood next to my sliding door.
Was enjoying the morning, smoking a cig, drinking some coffee when I heard a BANG. My cat had knocked down a piece of wood, blocking my sliding door. Started to think, what do I do, didn't have my keys or phone. Thankfully after 20 minutes or so, I was a... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1403467900 | 1403479615 | t3_28tdnq | t5_2to41 | 50 | Engineer_Zenka: TIFU showing my boner to my family (NSFW)
This, fortunately, was not today, but was repressed in my memory until now.
When I was 6, my family and I would watch movies together. At this time, I had no idea what a boner was or that touching your penis was a "No, no". So, as we watched these long movi... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1403418094 | 1403499549 | t3_28s0s2 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Denvermax31: tifu by not checking the damn toilet before I sat down.
I went to the movies today. I need to pinch a loaf, and retarded me didnt check the condition of the toilet seat. well it was covered no not covered drenched in piss. I got my full ass covered in some dumb fucks piss. learn how to fucking aim who ever... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403473878 | 1403511769 | t3_28tm3s | t5_2to41 | 78 | RunningThrowaway3: TIFU by going for a run (NSFW)
For those of you who are runners, you are probably well aware of the numerous little problems associated with running. These are usually just small annoyances (bladder issues, minor dehydration, chaffing, blisters) but they can become more troubling with longer runs. Ch... | 5 | 15.6 | |
1403473660 | 1403545853 | t3_28tlsu | t5_2to41 | 3 | magicblanket: TIFU by taking my 3 y/o to the grocery store
It started with a bribe, really. .i told her that if she could behave, not touch anything, not run away, not break anything or trip anyone
matty62: Wonder what goes through kids minds. Like when they lose focus of the bribe and start pushing shit over and hitti... | 3 | 1 | |
1403475328 | 1403532848 | t3_28to1s | t5_2to41 | 31 | hddoutsider: TIFU by spending 62.38$ on a red monster energy drink.
This was 3 years ago, but it still pisses me off when i think of it. Then i was a relationship when my ex-gf, but before her I never had a gf that has started her period while we where going out. now my gf at the time was a huge monster energy drink dr... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1403457658 | 1403483579 | t3_28sywu | t5_2to41 | 7 | silentphantom007: TIFU by setting off the fire alarm at Friendly's.
Okay, so it wasn't today, I was probably about 10 years old.
I was with my mother and older sister at a local Friendly's for lunch, and I had to relieve myself. So I visited the restroom, and entered the stall and locked the door. I had to poo, and t... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1403475043 | 1403547111 | t3_28tnpu | t5_2to41 | 109 | Sackbanditxx: TIFU by making whale noises at a girl
This one was at about 12:10 AM today, so it just barely counts as today!
So there was this big art/music festival in my town that lasts all night. There was this awesome band playing that the whole audience was really getting into. During the show there was this real... | 8 | 13.625 | |
1403466393 | 1403482473 | t3_28tbgv | t5_2to41 | 28 | peachesandpigeons: TIFU by having a party at my house
Last night my parents were out of town for the night, they had been planning on this trip all week, and since I'm a stupid teenager, that means I was planning a party all week for the night they were gone. I had plenty of beer and a good amount of people. And as a s... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1403475564 | 1403488134 | t3_28tocx | t5_2to41 | 89 | KetoGrow: TIFU by asking a customer "would you like a hand"?
Look down at her arm, and realise in horror she's an amputee.
Awkwardness ensues.
From now on, "how can I help you?" is my opening line.
ShakaLulu: Or always have a fake hand on you at all times and pull it out in this situation.
TronKitten: Wouldn't tha... | 4 | 22.25 | |
1403477200 | 1403483662 | t3_28tqg4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by creeping out my father's coworker
My father is a radiologist, and he reads films from home sometimes. The hospital has him set up with a viewing system that consists of a PC and 3 monitors. He called me up a few days ago and had me house-sit for the week, and in passing he said the IT guy was going ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1403481017 | 1403527494 | t3_28tv9o | t5_2to41 | 625 | Oil_field_trash_: TIFU by jerking off in a porto-John.
So I'm sitting at work right before shift change, I have a 5 hour drive home and I've been horny as fuck all night. I've been harder than a pound of jaw breakers for 12 hours. I couldn't wait to spew my load. Went into the crap house and jeans to the knees started ... | 9 | 69.444444 | |
1403480960 | 1403483419 | t3_28tv6r | t5_2to41 | 3 | SumPpl: TIFU by reading a thread in /r/paranormal
Azazel218: Which thread?
witchling_22: Yeah OP! Thread?
SumPpl: http://www.reddit.com/r/Paranormal/comments/28tfog/strange_occurrences_in_my_flat_felt_by_all_the/
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1403477412 | 1403545391 | t3_28tqpg | t5_2to41 | 4 | Sparkalade: TIFU... today and everyday these past few weeks since I began binge watching 24.
Having never before watched any episode of 24 I on whim resolved to watch them all in order.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm really enjoying the series however most days I somehow manage to fall asleep when watching it late at ni... | 4 | 1 | |
1403481827 | 1403493438 | t3_28twb2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | realfood_: TIFU and engaged a troll, and lost my cool a little bit.
I need to keep reminding myself that responsibility quite literally means my ability to respond, and I have the power to raise above trolling.
Kill_The_Dinosaurs: But its' so much fun to troll a troll.
realfood_: IF ONLY I trolled.. I totally was swe... | 4 | 2 | |
1403476896 | 1403492880 | t3_28tq3m | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by Showing my underwear to everyone sitting behind me in church.
Church was coming to an end and the skirt I was wearing was a little on the shorter side so I thought I would pull it down a bit in the back. I raised myself a couple inches off my seat then I tried giving it a few gentle tugs but my ass i... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1403484559 | 1403526384 | t3_28u040 | t5_2to41 | 13 | yawaworht1098: tifu by talking about sex with my girlfriend...
SO things have been getting stale with my girlfriend in the bedroom. I was invited over to her house for lunch with her and her family. Dad leaves for something, and her mom goes outside. We're watching tv and I decide to bring it up. We hadn't seen each ot... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1403485286 | 1403508433 | t3_28u145 | t5_2to41 | 11 | luke_mlh: TIFU by farting whilst pissing in my garden
Batroc_Z_Leaper: YOU didn't fuck up, she did. It's your yard and you can piss in it as you like. She needs to mind her own business and stop being a Mrs. Kravitz.
Erocitnam: Dude. Upvote for your username.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1403487255 | 1403488808 | t3_28u3vd | t5_2to41 | 24 | drugsarebadk: TIFU by burning off my eye lashes
Well today I was in my bathroom admiring my own beauty or some shit when I noticed a few hairs on my cheek. This hair was bothering me so I decided to remove it. I tried pulling it out, and when that didn't work, I pulled out my trusty bic lighter and decided fire was nec... | 3 | 8 | |
1403488207 | 1403549404 | t3_28u56a | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU By leaving my number for a waitress
When I left a restaurant, I wrote my phone number on the check for my waitress. I'd never done it before and decided to be adventurous. I get a call from an unknown number an hour later. It's the manager. I left my watch at the restaurant. Turned down for what!
sickd... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1403488137 | 1403538556 | t3_28u52l | t5_2to41 | 79 | oblivious1373: TIFU by being really oblivious... multiple times
Back in high school, I had this female friend who was kind of just "one of the guys," so to speak. Was really chill, funny, and was never really fazed by our stupid antics. She was someone you could tell dick jokes to without a second thought. None of the ... | 7 | 11.285714 | |
1403486970 | 1403501372 | t3_28u3h2 | t5_2to41 | 28 | TheShowerOfDoom: TIFU by drinking my dad's piss.
So back when I was 10 I was really into video games. So one day it is around 2 in the morning and im still on my xbox 360. My dad flips the fuck out because im supposed to go to bed by 10. Anyways he takes my internet modem and hides it somewhere in his car, then comes b... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1403487715 | 1403543704 | t3_28u4gh | t5_2to41 | 295 | [deleted]: TIFU by killing my widowed neighbors dog.
ThatGuyGetsIt: If she let her dog roam around unleashed there was always a Chance this would happen.
goyurik: This is no place for puns you heartless creature! But hey, it was a good one...
ChanceP-Wood: My names Chance I hear puns like this all the time...they're n... | 9 | 32.777778 | |
1403489384 | 1403588211 | t3_28u6t5 | t5_2to41 | 25 | redowll: TIFU by thinking I was no longer high.
So my mother recently found a reasonable amount of various drugs under my sister's bed. She mentioned it to me and talked about how mad she was, and I couldn't just let sis take the fall. So now I'm getting drug tested, which is why I took all the cold medicine I could fi... | 5 | 5 | |
1403488148 | 1403580211 | t3_28u537 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Plaptor: TIFU by reading someone's profile.
You ever think you finally remove yourself away from someone and feel fully detached?
I think that a lot. And then I stumble across something they say, or like, and I have to read it. Then I get upset because I start remembering really painful things.
Today I fucked up by r... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1403490640 | 1403495810 | t3_28u8h8 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by pepper spraying my girlfriends vagina
The guy who ate chili peppers then 69ed his girlfriend reminded me of this from a little more than a year ago.
I bought my girlfriend pepper spray because she's completely defenseless and we live on a rapey campus. I was playing with it outside to make sure it w... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1403498739 | 1403624998 | t3_28u8b3 | t5_2to41 | 222 | [deleted]: I've been bit by spiders in my sleep before and never did I jump to the conclusion that not only did it lay eggs inside me, but that the best course of action would be cut them out myself with a dirty knife.
DMZ9: Neither did he, because this story never happened.
Pasalacquanian: Maybe some parts were exagge... | 12 | 18.5 | |
1403491982 | 1403542923 | t3_28ua9q | t5_2to41 | 3 | poejibb: TIFU by driving without my glasses
So I almost killed myself today. Decided to go on a nice stroll driving around the neighborhood and did not bring my glasses. (I do this all the time, but never when it got dark or in unfamiliar roads.
First mistake I made was when 2 lanes conjoined into one and I ended up ... | 3 | 1 | |
1403492729 | 1403596885 | t3_28ubb3 | t5_2to41 | 10 | iphoneian: TIFU Found out i am a foot fetish
Teotwawki69: Like others have said, having a foot fetish (or being a foot fetishist, learn the difference) isn't all that uncommon, so don't feel bad for figuring it out. Instead, embrace it.
And, if you'd like company, it's very well known that Quentin Tarantino is a majo... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1403493563 | 1403496362 | t3_28ucds | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting myself at work (NSFW)
eightNote: Hey there: we're only accepting submissions about poop on Saturdays. please save your post till then:)
puddingmedic: no problem!
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1403492370 | 1403494502 | t3_28uat4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Silver_Fox90: Tifu by sleeping with my best friend
When I started working in the hotel I work in I became best friends with one of the girls who work here, I found out she was gay but I didn't care (im a guy)
A few months later a new girl started and I became palley with her too, we all became pretty close and then th... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403492211 | 1403757230 | t3_28uald | t5_2to41 | -67 | eightNote: It's no longer Saturday, save your shitting stories for next week!
Thanks to all who participated, and we hope to hear from even more of you next week!
If you're still interested in reading about reddit's shit, a bunch of stories were submitted to the shaturday announcement post. These can be found [here](... | 13 | -5.153846 | |
1403507320 | 1403594782 | t3_28udh9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | sadguy29: Ok. That's good. One time my mom found my internet history and all she did was laugh and embarrass me. Breaking a computer like this is a clear sign of anger issues. If you say he's a good man though I will take your word for it. Also its nice to see another Christian on Reddit :)
[deleted]: Fuck off with y... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403491127 | 1403496350 | t3_28u94j | t5_2to41 | 20 | 37thUsernameAttempt: TIFU by sucking my dangly bits
I have a quite useful superpower.
/r/autofellatio
I can suck my own dick. But only one one toilet, for some reason. No idea why, must be the roundness of the bowl putting my legs in the right spot. I'll often go stay in there for a little while.
Earlier today (yes ... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1403494006 | 1403533029 | t3_28ucxn | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on the girl of my dreams.
Me and my GF, let's call her Daisy, and I have been together for literally the best two years of my life (I'm 27).
From the moment I met her I just knew she was it for me. I can talk to her and tell her things I've never even wanted to admit to myself. She is the ... | 6 | 0 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.