start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1403580191 | 1403641151 | t3_28xn4f | t5_2to41 | 1,085 | [deleted]: TIFU by having really enthusiastic sex. (NSFW)
My boyfriend and I spent the evening eating raw cookie dough and watching movies on my couch, and it was getting late. So, naturally, the mood shifted to sexual pretty quickly, and before I knew it I was on my back on the bed.
Before I go totally into things, ... | 9 | 120.555556 | |
1403579764 | 1403673472 | t3_28xmh0 | t5_2to41 | 6,631 | BigDumbDope: TIFU by hugging John Green.
I went to see The Book of Mormon Saturday night in Indianapolis. At intermission, I hit the loo, got another beer (a mistake, it seems), and met up with my husband to head back to our seats. Spotted John Green ahead of me. Told my husband who he was and SPRINTED toward him. Real... | 12 | 552.583333 | |
1403581086 | 1403638761 | t3_28xoez | t5_2to41 | 21 | caught_fapping: TIFU by not verifying my kid was asleep before fapping NSFW
God Dammit. The kids have been in bed since 8. It is now 10. I had been waiting for sexy time for about 2 weeks. We have 4 kids ages 2-9 and with all the responsibility, and the breast feeding I'm lucky if I get any at all. I had asked for some... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1403581541 | 1403708033 | t3_28xp38 | t5_2to41 | 219 | [deleted]: TIFU by not sleeping for 3 straight days.
Happened last year, I still get comments on the scar. Anyways, the story: It was unavoidable..
Day 1: homecoming parade; at night, the homecoming game. And since I'm on the spirit crew, I had to be there for the whole thing to cheer our team on. 5 of my friends sle... | 5 | 43.8 | |
1403582134 | 1403588565 | t3_28xpya | t5_2to41 | 3 | MrAvery: TIFU By pooping at the dermatologist
agentlame: Removed; all shit posts are now reserved for Saturdays. Please post this again next sat.
MrAvery: Ok:)
| 3 | 1 | |
1403582811 | 1403673626 | t3_28xr0x | t5_2to41 | 63 | ao-mame: TIFU by unknowingly flashing my school
This horrible, awful, incredibly embarrassing situation happened to me about a month ago while at college.
The day of the fuck-up was a rather warmish day in the spring, so I decided to wear a new dress of mine with black tights underneath. This was where I made my fatal... | 12 | 5.25 | |
1403581543 | 1403745592 | t3_28xp3d | t5_2to41 | 626 | wholivesintheeastSP: TIFU: My Cuban Missile Crisis
This didn’t happen today. It was two years ago and it still haunts me to this day.
I had recently gotten out of a destructive relationship. How might one deal with a relationship the equivalent of Hiroshima? Well, you drink copious amounts of alcohol and drunkenly boo... | 11 | 56.909091 | |
1403585450 | 1403660931 | t3_28xuin | t5_2to41 | 5 | iamadumb-ass: TIFU By kissing my friends girlfriend.
We were at her house for a party (her parents and extended family were there also, so nothing frisky was going on). We were all pretty drunk personally, I was near blackout drunk. (I remember the night, just not specific details or reasons for my judgement). Needless... | 5 | 1 | |
1403586265 | 1403661230 | t3_28xvgz | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU By thinking I was ready to start eating solids.
Yesterday, I had one of my wisdom teeth removed. The procedure wasn't too bad, and only lasted around 30 minutes. I've worked out that as long as I stay high on pain killers, I don't really feel a thing.
Not being able to feel much pain, I thought "Why... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1403588003 | 1403672577 | t3_28xxge | t5_2to41 | 11 | chowead: TIFU by going to an interview
So I'm suppose to have my first interview this morning, nervous as fuck, but guess what? Because of some miscommunication, the store manager (I forgot to ask for the name when he phoned me last Fri, big mistake) who were supposed to interview me is not there this morning! Needless... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1403575762 | 1403620520 | t3_28xgkc | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by dripping Sriracha on a baby's head.
Was at a Garbanzo's (Mediterranean food), at the condiments counter. There are no little containers into which one can squirt the delicious sriracha for one's shwarma, so I used a plastic to go cup lid instead. I fill that sucker up with sriracha. Now, tall divider... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1403592751 | 1403616535 | t3_28y2m8 | t5_2to41 | 10 | Yeah-RIght: TIFU and kicked a child in the chest
So I like playgrounds (i'm 20/f so not considered creepy) and I found an awesome one on my way to the mall. No children were around since it was during school hours so I was enjoying my time.
I decided to go down the slide and, unbeknownst to me, a mother and her son ha... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1403594051 | 1403595867 | t3_28y3ss | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by googling after sex.
I recently hooked up with a guy slightly older than me, nothing unreasonable. He was very attractive and it was a lot of fun. Today I had too much time to kill and I decided googling him was a good idea. On the google I found multiple arrests, multiple marriages and multiple child... | 3 | 1 | |
1403580241 | 1403617247 | t3_28xn6h | t5_2to41 | 3 | Gmajj: TIFU by Money Laundering
I went to wash my sons work clothes. He is a waiter and for some reason he left a lot of his tip money in his pocket. He usually doesn't do this, and I usually check his pockets. When I went to get the clothes out of the washer to put into the dryer, there was all this wet money lying in... | 3 | 1 | |
1403601084 | 1403615417 | t3_28y9mf | t5_2to41 | 4 | dynorphin: TIFU by not unsubscribing from this shitty subreddit till now
Seriously, this is like, the weakest collection of fake fucking stories ever, half of you need to put your dicks away while you fantasize and the other half needs to pull them out. I don't think I have read one story that was interesting, made me ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403602685 | 1403618231 | t3_28yavx | t5_2to41 | 14 | warrior_n: TIFU by lying to my girlfriend
Today my girlfriend asked me if I went to lunch to a female coworker of mine and I said no. I denied it after she asked a second time. I then came clean about it. She got extremely upset and asked why I lied. I told her that I thought it would upset her if I told her, and that ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1403584280 | 1403621273 | t3_28xsyx | t5_2to41 | 12 | Kenkae30: TIFU by Texting a girl something that was meant for my friend.
So a couple of weeks ago i went as 3rd wheel with some friends (we'll call them Bill and Ali) to festival downtown. It was cool but they were still in their honey moon stage so all it was watching them make out and trying to find the right time to... | 3 | 4 | |
1403604553 | 1403643417 | t3_28ycd6 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Ingens_Testibus: TIFU by leaking my campaign's GOTV plan to the opposition.
This actually happened late last night. I'm a campaign consultant for a fairly high profile race in my slice of America. Every campaign has what is known as a campaign plan. Within that campaign plan is a 48/24/ED "GOTV" plan and manual. We... | 4 | 2 | |
1403604771 | 1403614692 | t3_28ycjy | t5_2to41 | 10 | hks9: TIFU by stopping at my crushs house on the way home.
PerfidiousPenetrator: This is not a TIFU, but a TIGF (Today I Got Fucked) story.
hks9: had no idea such a thing existed, but if i didnt stop there i would have been fine which is where i fucked up.
edit: i cant seem to find that subreddit
opdontbeabitch: *sig... | 5 | 2 | |
1403612822 | 1403633877 | t3_28ykap | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught viciously scratching my balls by my Boss NSFW
Hi Folks,
so unfortunately, I live/work in Ireland, we have been receiving some lovely yet ridiculously hot weather lately. I work in a cramped and stuffy office with no windows by my desk. I was sweating up a storm! then all of a sudden i... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1403614106 | 1403672124 | t3_28ylu1 | t5_2to41 | 4,923 | [deleted]: TIFU trying to spice things up with my wife
Made this throwaway to tell this for obvious reasons.
Yesterday I decided to spice things up with my wife so I went to the kitchen, got cream and back to the dark room I started to pour it on her breasts and lick it off. I thought it tasted a bit weird but I was h... | 9 | 547 | |
1403614673 | 1403643171 | t3_28ymiw | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a whole jar of Nutella.
The mudslide is already brewing. The struggle is real.
CrazieMexican: There's nutellan what could happen
[deleted]: I know what happened but I'm not gonna spread it around.
tishstars: Something something poop
Lugiafanatic: something something broken arms
| 5 | 10.6 | |
1403614475 | 1403625559 | t3_28ymad | t5_2to41 | 3 | robbingthecradle1: TIFU by going on a tinder date with an 18 year old
Throwaway account... this happened last night. I am 24(m) and starting chatting up with this really cute 18(f) on tinder... decided to meet up at starbucks. Date was going really well she was actually a lot hotter in her pictures. We walk back to my ... | 3 | 1 | |
1403615026 | 1403649483 | t3_28ymxt | t5_2to41 | 269 | elkarcher87: TIFU by ripping ass in the living room
This happened yesterday so fuck you.
I have been living with my girlfriends parents for the summer for work and things are going well. Last night the whole family went out to dinner and had a great time. Bit, during dinner I accumulated some knarly gas. We get home a... | 7 | 38.428571 | |
1403614622 | 1403663467 | t3_28ymgv | t5_2to41 | 44 | reaper_flow: TIFU by masturbating
with the fucking door open. I don't know how to look into my sister's eyes the same way anymore..
donosaur66: Here's how:
Step one: look into her eyes
Step two: Finish.
Lehk: gotta show dominance.
| 3 | 14.666667 | |
1403616062 | 1403619199 | t3_28yoc2 | t5_2to41 | 11 | thumperatwork: TIFU by eating eggs with strangers
I'm doing some consulting near the ND oil patch. Staying at a hotel with breakfast where I end up eating at a table of scary looking roughnecks, guys who are finalists in the macho game of life. But the place is packed and there's nowhere else to sit and they were nice ... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1403617194 | 1403675188 | t3_28ypwb | t5_2to41 | 191 | hegetsnothing: TIFU By reading /r/nosleep
After falling victim to my morning coffee, I departed from my office to take a satisfying and gratifying paid poop. The company that I work for has recently installed motion sensored lighting into all the bathrooms in an effort to conserve energy; as a result, I usually end up ... | 8 | 23.875 | |
1403616790 | 1403657646 | t3_28ypai | t5_2to41 | 204 | HarveyStarter: TIFU by not reading the fine print on the box
This was actually about a month ago. I was working in a dingy abandoned house and I managed to cut myself pretty good on my finger. So in between jobs I swung by a grocery store and picked up some antibacterial creme. I failed to read the box's note of "co... | 6 | 34 | |
1403617476 | 1403628375 | t3_28yqbw | t5_2to41 | 114 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying in bed with a naked girl
.
grogo67: Major life hint here: If a girl is lying next to you naked SHE WANTS YOU TO MAKE A MOVE.
Hint 2:
Turning on the TV was not the move she was wanting.
Please learn from this and don't make the same mistake twice.
[deleted]: Major life tip: women are adults... | 11 | 10.363636 | |
1403617469 | 1403717149 | t3_28yqbn | t5_2to41 | 10 | The_Hobbyist94: Tifu by driving like an asshole
Reddit, today I fucked up. I live in a small back country New England town where getting anywhere from anyplace is generally a hassle. Well on my way to work this morning, I hit the inevitable road work on my main route there. Thankfully, I know a half dozen side roads to... | 5 | 2 | |
1403624630 | 1403701218 | t3_28yrnh | t5_2to41 | -13 | FartingFaggot4Jesus: Because it didn't happen.
TheRiddl3Mast3r: Wonderful logic there. If you don't have a specific reason as to why it didn't happen then please just keep quiet. c:
FartingFaggot4Jesus: You used an alt to threaten me? haha. Definite FAke.
Lokijustbitme: Dude you're such a jackass
FartingFaggot4Jesus: ... | 5 | -2.6 | |
1403617753 | 1403631292 | t3_28yqqm | t5_2to41 | 7 | Sentinel851: TIFU by forgetting a friend's birthday
so, today was a busy day, everybody was scrambling to get work done before the semester break, and my friend walks over to me, looking pretty glum. I'm busy working on an assignment that's due pretty soon, so i'm a little distracted. anyway, he tries to make some smal... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1403621459 | 1403630261 | t3_28ywea | t5_2to41 | 2 | bmanny: TIFU by blocking my ex's phone number
I_am_amazingly_great: How is that you fucking up?
bmanny: By thinking ignoring someone who needed medical help and is clearly bipolar would have any form of positive results.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1403621783 | 1403628143 | t3_28ywvp | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling illegal immigrants Mexican
So let me first start off by saying I am in no means racist or trying to offend anyone.
So I'm at a political camp basically for a bunch of students who are social or smart basically and we mimic the governing style of the state(California). We are allowed to run ... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1403616251 | 1403630523 | t3_28yokz | t5_2to41 | 9 | SSJStarwind16: TIFU By saying yes when caught off guard
Just about an hour ago a co-worker asked me to log-in for her if she wasn't back by 8, she was going to the bathroom. Still being new, and caught off-guard I stuttered, "huh...ok."
Knowing it was against the rules, and realizing I dug a hole for myself, I needed ... | 3 | 3 | |
1403593029 | 1403627337 | t3_28y2vp | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by not washing soap properly in the shower
I was talking a shower and grabbed a bar of soap to clean my inner thighs near my you know what...... well I was so singing to 'Collard Greens' that I forgot to was the soap in those tight spots.
I dried myself with a towel but again failed to wipe my inner th... | 3 | 1 | |
1403624207 | 1405575707 | t3_28z137 | t5_2to41 | 41 | speeding-demon: TIFU by forgetting a towel.
Yesterday was day 3 of camping and I needed a shower so I put on flip flops and brought soap and shampoo to the public showers. There was no one in the showers so I took a relaxin 20 minute shower in the bathroom completely alone. I had forgotten my towel but car was parked o... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1403624830 | 1403625711 | t3_28z24n | t5_2to41 | 16 | Throwawaymedtime: TIFU by wearing a really old sports bra [NSFW]
It's laundry day and I really wanted to go for a jog, so I broke out a really old sports bra that had stretched out and had a couple of holes.
I went for my normal jog and was very excited about my pace. While I was jogging I noticed a couple of glances ... | 4 | 4 | |
1403625436 | 1403644232 | t3_28z36g | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by loudly streaming porn to the entire office.
So, I'm getting fired for this either today or tomorrow. The cringe I'm feeling right now will probably stay with me for the rest of my life, and it's (almost) entirely my fault. Might as well tell you guys.
I'm an IT at a pretty large office building with... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1403624298 | 1403759141 | t3_28z18g | t5_2to41 | 26 | TheSchnozzberry: TIFU by ripping the hose out of a fuel pump.
Earlier this morning I was filling my car up and decided to wash my windows with the squeegee at the pump. When I'm done with the windows I hop in my car crank the engine and drive off.
Well I drove about ten feet then heard an odd sound. I stopped looked ... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1403624027 | 1403667862 | t3_28z0rb | t5_2to41 | 7 | Memithezombiekiller: TIFU by wearing high heels to a "rustic" restaurant.
I work in a "professional" environment. This means I wear heels, hose, and a skirt damn near every day. Yesterday, (YIFU) I decided to go to a charming cafe near the office for lunch. It is a lovely little place, stone walls, giant fireplace, ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1403627743 | 1403628592 | t3_28z6xp | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by being in the wrong place at the wrong time
jagstax: This will help you
http://youtu.be/CnMyV6HpctU
Edit: i mean this will not help you!
maltedbacon: Looks like CPR being conducted.
jagstax: Looked more like "hey buddy, get up. Quit playing around! Lets chase some mice!" to me ;(
| 4 | 1 | |
1403627435 | 1403628533 | t3_28z6gu | t5_2to41 | 12 | mynameisnttravis: TIFU by lying to my boss
I've been working for a trucking company three months now and I accidentally left the radio on in a truck and it killed the battery. When my boss asked me if I did it I said "nope, wasn't me" then fessed up to it minutes later.
WookieTurnip: I think you FU by owning up to it... | 3 | 4 | |
1403631054 | 1403638765 | t3_28zcs4 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by not researching a potential employer
So Ive been unemployed for a few weeks after being laid off of a full time job. My wife had the good idea for me to go back to college full time and work part time as we dont have a lot of bills. Ive had a really hard the last few weeks finding someone that is hir... | 7 | 2.857143 | |
1403632253 | 1403661942 | t3_28zevm | t5_2to41 | 13 | Slipperypassport: TIFU by accidentally putting my passport next to my bottle of lube in a travel bag.
The lube bottle exploded and now my passport is COMPLETELY smothered in slippery, extremely persistent goop. I don't know what to do seeing how I leave on my trip in two weeks and I can't get the lube off of my passpor... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1403625693 | 1403656530 | t3_28z3md | t5_2to41 | 26 | akas3006: TIFU by whistling at night
This happened a few years ago, but I was just reminded of it when I put in my contacts incorrectly and it burned like hell.
Back in college I was a bit of a restless spirit. I would wander the streets at night, exploring places I probably shouldn't. I was also big into wearing hi... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1403632005 | 1403749586 | t3_28zeg1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | TBMeatCanoe: TIFU by not turning down my volume
This was not today, but within the last few months. I don't remember exactly. I just discovered this subreddit and decided to share this story.
So as any other 16 year old would do, I was downstairs choking the chicken. The stairs in my house are squeaky, so I know when... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1403624715 | 1403660557 | t3_28z1xl | t5_2to41 | 16 | hendrixchild419: TIFU by facebook messaging my ex-girlfriend
My ex and I broke up at the end of May, we had been dating for over a year. It wasn't an absolute terrible break up but not good by any means. I was feeling okay at first but I was really starting to miss her and found some of her stuff at my apartment about ... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1403631742 | 1403664796 | t3_28zdy3 | t5_2to41 | 222 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing with the door open
Happened first thing this morning. So, yesterevening I found out my wife of two years is seeing another guy. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night. I'm already not a morning person to begin with, and this morning was especially rough. The only thing I knew for cert... | 3 | 74 | |
1403632026 | 1403636402 | t3_28zeh7 | t5_2to41 | 71 | steel_city89: TIFU by accidentally snorting solvent based wax
Long time lurker first time poster. Why not make it a TIFU?
I work as a Design and Technology Teacher in the UK, wood shop for my American cousins, today's lesson was all about how to finish off a good piece of furniture with proper products.
One of the pr... | 3 | 23.666667 | |
1403631498 | 1403730614 | t3_28zdim | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a picture to my friend.
2 days ago I was video calling a friend of mine, when suddenly her feed froze while she was blinking. It looked a lot like the [{10} Guy](http://www.quickmeme.com/img/1e/1eb47d1c96c02e7162d707fa81d26c35c86912b49a2dd7a7dd73b2bd08b6aa34.jpg). It was hilarious, so I took ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1403635070 | 1403645727 | t3_28zkbh | t5_2to41 | 23 | Woopsmybad1: TIFU by adding the girl I slept with on facebook
Johansbutt: Cousin's daughter is a second cousin. Legally I think that's fine. Family wise is another story.
Not saying you want to marry her, but this might make you feel better:
http://www.ncsl.org/research/human-services/state-laws-regarding-marriag... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1403635180 | 1403679040 | t3_28zkje | t5_2to41 | 9 | waffleman69: TIFU by joking about suicide
This didn't actually happen today, but rather a few weeks ago. Let's set the scene, shall we?
I'm playing League of Legends with my girlfriend while FaceTiming with her, and we're in a Co-op vs. AI match, beginner difficulty. For those of you that do not play League, these matc... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1403635847 | 1403762286 | t3_28zlrf | t5_2to41 | 1,303 | Anotherfuckwit: TIFU: my legacy.
I'm a school principal.
The children in my school will not remember me for the humorous stunt I pulled at lunchtime today when I pretended to jump a makeshift, cane hurdle they set up to play with in the sunshine.
Nor will they remember the exaggerated, slow motion trip I pulled off f... | 13 | 100.230769 | |
1403637282 | 1403637613 | t3_28zogw | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to scare my co worker
Well this just happen about 20 minutes ago
I work in a small shop and I have a co worker that I'm really good friends with. It's a slow day today and she's chilling at the register and I'm chilling in the back. I see she's facing away from me and looking down so I figur... | 4 | 3 | |
1403638553 | 1403704509 | t3_28zqug | t5_2to41 | 79 | sebbyk5: Tifu by being racist
This literally happened minutes ago. I work the front counter of an aquarium and a large black man came in with his family. I barely noticed he was black until I fucked up. He asked if he could get a wheelchair for his mother and I said of course. As he walked over he asked if I needed his... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1403639502 | 1403639956 | t3_28zsjy | t5_2to41 | 6 | Der6FingerJo: TIFU by going to the gym
So, my doctor told me I needed more muscles in my back, so I went to a gym, with my mother (I'm only 16). We immediately got a trainer, who was a huge muscle packed douche btw., and started collecting info about my body and this stuff. After we made a training plan, I started by g... | 3 | 2 | |
1403639884 | 1403661606 | t3_28zt9u | t5_2to41 | 99 | jpl467: TIFU by telling my housemate to drink some apple cider.
This happened a couple of years ago when I was still in college. My housemate of two years told me how every time he drank apple cider the resulting shit would be a messy one to say the least. So being the smartass I am, I dared him to buy some and drink... | 5 | 19.8 | |
1403640468 | 1403960113 | t3_28zubn | t5_2to41 | 11 | 1wf: TIFU b.c I didn't know my girl was a cum dodger
-First time me and my girlfriend were having sex without a condom
-When I busted a nut inside she said 'ew it feels weird' and touched her vag
-Pulls her hand from under the duvet and her hand is covered in my baby gravy
-Strong smell of baby gravy, smells like '... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1403639484 | 1403691855 | t3_28zsj1 | t5_2to41 | 22 | Newstrish: TIFU by trying to do the right thing...
This actually happened a while back, but it was before I saw the light and joined reddit.
I was attending a local community college and had just got out of my last class and met up with a friend of mine, as we were leaving we noticed a cat sitting across the path ... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1403640856 | 1403648617 | t3_28zv0b | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by Posting on 4chan (NSFW)
Prospekt01: What did you expect from 4chan? Civilized conduct?
[deleted]: I honestly wasn't expecting the dickgirls. I was on a video game board, like come on.
Prospekt01: Never underestimate their abilities.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1403642012 | 1403648440 | t3_28zx2j | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU By letting my "ex" back into my life
Girl I started dating in 2010 for 10 months recently came back into my life. We ended abruptly over a stupid argument with no real closure. Literally one day fine and next day we stopped talking. Haven't spoke/seen each other in three years. We were never official bu... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1403642557 | 1403651968 | t3_28zy3w | t5_2to41 | 16 | alta4life: TIFU By getting a bloody nose with a girl
So I've gone on a couple of dates with this pretty attractive girl. Things were going well on our last date so we decided to watch a movie (Inglorious Bastards of course to get her in the mood). About half way through the movie flirtatious tickling and wrestling bega... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1403644867 | 1403645649 | t3_29023f | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my wife paint.
My wife decided she is going to go on this whole big home improvement bullshit, and completely re-do the living room. Fine, whatever, knock yourself out, I real don't care.
She decides that we're getting new carpet, furniture, paint, the whole nine yards. We originally planne... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1403645159 | 1403720090 | t3_2902ju | t5_2to41 | 26 | pacificpacifist: TIFU by sending my mom porn.
Okay so this was a couple months ago. My grades in school had been slacking, but I had managed to bring them back up. I wanted to tell my mom the good news, but I was on the toilet, so I opened my phone's browser, pulled up my grades from my school's website, and took a scr... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1403648431 | 1403655871 | t3_2907wr | t5_2to41 | 133 | DavidTennantsTeeth: TIFU by wearing a suit to drop off a resume.
I blew my chances of getting this job. A friend gave me a heads up that a position came open at the company he works for. I said I'd go ahead and email them my resume. He said they would like it better of I dropped of my resume in person.
Well I thoug... | 8 | 16.625 | |
1403648218 | 1403662359 | t3_2907ka | t5_2to41 | 17 | Syrus_Black: TIFU by playing a practical joke in my coworker that almost cost me my job.
So happend a couple months ago. Coworker whom I am fairly close with has a bad habit of leaving his computer unlocked. On April 1st I decided to show him why it is so important.
I changed his enterprise email signature for ONLY s... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1403646561 | 1403705335 | t3_2904td | t5_2to41 | 11 | thedirtyberty: TIFU by disrespecting Ricky Bobby
Today I had a final in my American history class. I go to a community college in California on the quarter system so we are in school later then everyone else. For my final, we had to write an essay. My teacher gave us five prompts throughout the course and told us he wo... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1403651789 | 1403673123 | t3_290dgo | t5_2to41 | 12 | Aw_Lawd: TIFU: I hit a dog on the interstate going 70 mph
I was traveling on the interstate around 10 am and out of nowhere, four big dogs bolt out of the woods in a line and run across the road. I hit the third one and couldn't safely pull over due to the other cars swerving to avoid the other dogs. I pulled over at a... | 3 | 4 | |
1403652952 | 1404770259 | t3_290f7x | t5_2to41 | 14 | KenAdams02: TIFU by inadvertently Disclosing Confidential Information
TIFU, rather last Thursday I fucked up, on a million to one chance that I could have got in trouble for something that did not even involve me. Now here I am, six months into my brand new IT career, and I have already projected a HUGELY negative bias... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1403652648 | 1403660206 | t3_290es1 | t5_2to41 | 37 | DinosaurPig: TIFU by exiting airport security
It is more like today I am currently fucking up. The fucking up is not yet over. I found a cheap flight to Japan for today and bought a Delta ticket from my hometown to LA for the 16 hour layover and then connection with my overseas airline. I landed in LA and everything... | 5 | 7.4 | |
1403654311 | 1403654915 | t3_290h7d | t5_2to41 | 7 | imbeat: TIFU by pleasuring my wife
We were in the heat of the moment and I forgot to cut my fingernails. My hand and bed sheets were covered in blood, she was not on her period.
DETRITUS_TROLL: How long do you let your fingernails get?!
If they get past my fingertip it drives me crazy.
imbeat: I would say a bit longe... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1403654678 | 1403810812 | t3_290hq3 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by initiating the break-up I later realized I didn't want
So my boyfriend and I (of almost two years) spent the better part of our relationship long distance. I made plenty of visits, sometimes a weekend, sometimes a whole month. We eventually decided that we wouldn't ever do long distance again after I... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1403656917 | 1403712063 | t3_290kzg | t5_2to41 | 52 | smokeyythabear: TIFU by turning Apples to Apples in to Cards Against Humanity..
I was playing Apples to Apples with my family. I forget when exactly, but I was with my grandma, my cousins, my aunt, etc. (some big family gathering). My grandma put down the green card, and it was something like "lucky". So, my genius sel... | 4 | 13 | |
1403655852 | 1403764738 | t3_290jgg | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by holding my erect penis in front of my flatmate.
So this morning I was laying in bed playing around with my "morning wood" as I normally do and my girlfriend calls me to talk about my cv that she's been helping me with. So I chatted away to her happily playing away with myself. (sorry I know you'll ... | 4 | 9 | |
1403658625 | 1403680856 | t3_290nfz | t5_2to41 | 13 | your_mind_aches: TIFU by ordering KFC
I'm really nervous with ordering things through the phone but my parents make me do it most of the time and I understand why. And this actually happened today.
Today I ordered KFC. The initial call to KFC went off without a hitch, but when the delivery lady called, said she was on... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1403642730 | 1404865874 | t3_28zyf2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | ohno777: TIFU by overdosing on sodium
*this didn't actually happen today. It happened several years ago..*
I always watched Dragon Ball Z as a kid and I wondered how Goku and pals could just scarf down bowls of plain rice.
Obviously the next course of action was to douse my rice in table salt and eat it for dinner to... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1403659191 | 1403710816 | t3_290o94 | t5_2to41 | 25 | isk8kona: TIFU by drinking bottles of beer
This happened about two months ago. I got off work and decided to grab a six pack of sweetwater ipa in bottles. This was my first mistake. I made it back home, grab my back pack, camera bag, and beer and proceed to walk up my front steps. I tripped on the third step and fall f... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1403659228 | 1403700171 | t3_290obb | t5_2to41 | 9 | FunkEnet: TIFU shaving my head.
I give my head a shave every once and a while instead of paying a barber to do it. I just buzz it off with a clippers. I had let my hair get longer than usual but decided today was the day to shave it off. I was about half way done when the clippers slipped out of my hands and fell direc... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1403660315 | 1403714275 | t3_290pxo | t5_2to41 | 3 | fhdkdjxbxndks: Tifu by giving another man oral
I thought I would like it, really, but I couldn't even do it until the end and now I want to puke. I've already washed my mouth with soap it was so gross. I'm not a virgin and I really thought it'd be fun but Jesus I want to crawl in a hole and die.
[deleted]: Are you a ... | 3 | 1 | |
1403657119 | 1403662966 | t3_290l9u | t5_2to41 | 17 | Lowlife_caucasion: TIFU by making my girlfriend think I have herpes
First I should start off by saying that me and my gf are currently in summer school for two different high schools. Once my class was over, I thought I would surprise her by driving to her school since we don't really get to see each other that much du... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1403659531 | 1403759272 | t3_290oqd | t5_2to41 | 2,774 | Weinersonthemenu: TIFU by causing the police to be called to my school
Along with the rest of you people, my fuck up did not occur today. It was about three months ago.
It's my last semester of my senior year in high school. On friday night, I pick my car up from the shop where it had been repaired from a minor car ac... | 36 | 77.055556 | |
1403660207 | 1403663140 | t3_290prd | t5_2to41 | 3 | seraph77: TIFU by not cleaning up water on the floor
kinda_alone: Hi,
Your submission has been removed because it is not Shat Myself Saturday. Please repost then.
seraph77: Really?? I thought that was a minor part of the story.
kinda_alone: It's actually a pretty original one and a good read, but unfortunately, we try... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1403658571 | 1403714181 | t3_290nci | t5_2to41 | 6 | neo-sub: TIFU by being stupid
So I've been unemployed for a while and a job comes up and I jump at the chance to get it, it was later that day so I got ready and got my shit sorted, interview starts and its simple questions "Why are you right for this role? that sort of shit and I'm blazing through even surprising myse... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1403660749 | 1403676701 | t3_290qj6 | t5_2to41 | 212 | d0pemagik: TIFU by sympathizing with a customer
I work at a movie theater and the number one complaint I hear from customers is about the prices. "$5 dollars for a drink?!? That's crazy" or "$8 for popcorn?? That's outrageous, I should've smuggled in food." Coming from a low-medium income household I know the struggles... | 8 | 26.5 | |
1403664510 | 1403665588 | t3_290w1b | t5_2to41 | 15 | LloydChristmas33: TIFU By sending a dirty text to my mom instead of my girlfriend
A brief background, me and my SO just had our first baby girl a month ago, and for obvious reasons, we have not been able to have sex or even stimulation. She is now in her 4th week of recovery so we decided to go forward with a little or... | 3 | 5 | |
1403666996 | 1403748850 | t3_290zh5 | t5_2to41 | 482 | KoreanJesusPleasures: TIFU by offering an upset girl Sunny D...
I just got back from a spontaneous road trip from Southern Ontario to Indiana/Chicago/Cincinnati. A friend (18, female) that I had sort of befriended over first year university called me on a Tuesday, asking me if I wanted to go with her from Wednesday to ... | 9 | 53.555556 | |
1403669185 | 1403759795 | t3_2912ih | t5_2to41 | 12 | Thisguythough: TIFU by sleeping with my sister's best friend (NSFW)
Sorry guys, prepare for a long story.
I've known my sister's friend for some time, let's call her Bella. We'd talk a lot and have gotten to know each other quite well. I live very far from both my sister and her friend, but I'm visiting for about a mo... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1403669645 | 1403725032 | t3_291345 | t5_2to41 | 13 | RedHair-DontFuck: Tifu, my getting on omegle.
I fucked today while getting on omegle with a few friends. Not doing any weird shit like stripping, but just messing with all the guys with random erections.
Well In the process I recognize one guy immediately.
I said his name, he responded. And all the flashbacks of the ... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1403670547 | 1403710715 | t3_2914cj | t5_2to41 | 13 | aquawhale: TIFU on vacation
I was in kelowna on vacation with my family and over dinner one night we had decided to go to the movies after we had finished our meal. I forgot to bring my glasses to the restaurant and didn't quite feel like two hours of blurry spiderman so we decided to swing by the hotel so I could grab... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1403668134 | 1403691805 | t3_29111u | t5_2to41 | 23 | InterimFatGuy: TIFU by eating a baguette
So I got hungry late tonight and decided to look for some food. I was too lazy to actually cook something so I got a piece of baguette out of the fridge. So I was eating it and a crack in the hard crust opens. I continue eating it and the crack opens its gaping maw which closed ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1403671369 | 1403748008 | t3_2915g1 | t5_2to41 | 37 | Catawamoctopus: TIFU by masturbating while shitfaced
As is customary with this sub, this happened about 2 years ago, when I was just past the age of 21. Living in a suite at college (basically a dorm, only we all shared the same living room/common area.)
Anyway, my roommate left to go watch a movie with the other 6 pe... | 7 | 5.285714 | |
1403669744 | 1403823402 | t3_29138w | t5_2to41 | 25 | LunchablesTX: TIFU: Peeing in my backyard (NSFW)
I got up to go to the bathroom because I had to pee REALLY REALLY badly, but one of my brothers friends was taking a shit and I couldn't wait. The 2nd bathroom was in my parents room and they were asleep so I couldn't go wake them up, and the bathroom downstairs was ripp... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1403672820 | 1403675741 | t3_29177s | t5_2to41 | 13 | patrikas2: TIFU by showing everybody my open fly.
I was biking home this morning at around 5am after an all night bike ride and decided to take the lake shore trail. Along the way I stopped to take a whizz, and of course managed to forget to zip up.
So there I was, shirtless, fly open, and soaking wet riding in the r... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1403675784 | 1403718871 | t3_291ajb | t5_2to41 | 186 | gocards321: TIFU Interacting with a cute girl
It started out innocent enough, just accepting a friend request from a cute girl on Facebook. She messaged me and we started talking, eventually she asked if I wanted to see her naked and what guy is going to say no to that? So I added her on Skype, we Skyped and both showe... | 12 | 15.5 | |
1403677012 | 1403702969 | t3_291bwx | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be nice
This takes place over the last 3 years.
So I work for a large unionized company with incredible benefits. My family had just bought a house in a new neighborhood (subdivision), and at work our union's contract is up for renegotiations soon (RAISES!). Things are looking up.
My new ... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1403680890 | 1403682655 | t3_291fqg | t5_2to41 | 12 | Throwawaycausedumbb: TIFU by sexting over snapchat
OK to start this out, I was snapchating this girl, shes probably a 5/10. You know how it goes, I didn't actually like her, We were just sexting back and forth. Were both of course over 18. This has been going on for like a year and a half. But tonight the usual was goi... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1403675648 | 1403749610 | t3_291aec | t5_2to41 | 6 | tbhbbidgaf: TIFU by getting a medical exam.
As you all may know, it is a job requirement to get a medical exam. This happened more than a year ago but it still makes people laugh.
I went to the clinic early in the morning to get several tests here and there, waited in line outside different doctors' clinics to get eve... | 3 | 2 | |
1403686471 | 1403783366 | t3_291kei | t5_2to41 | 1,091 | incogneatus: TIFU by telling my crush what my cum smells like. [NSFW]
Here we go.
This girl and I have known for about a year now started working out together for a few months, and we've became close friends. So we're at the gym, we work out, then we go to the hot tub and I invite her to dinner and we go dutch. Fast ... | 9 | 121.222222 | |
1403686132 | 1403811495 | t3_291k3o | t5_2to41 | 31 | wiseraccoon: TIFU by going to the gym right before class.
I'm an avid gym-goer, weight-lifter, etc. I usually go at night but had a staff meeting for the bar I work at scheduled in the evening today (Tuesday). So, I had no choice but to go to the gym before class.
Also, I listen to heavy metal music while working out... | 4 | 7.75 |
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