start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1347381716 | 1347384249 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | Envoke: TIFU by Pepper Spraying Myself While Cooking, Resulting in Sitcom Hilarity.
Well actually, this happened last night.
My fiance and I had decided yesterday to have pork in the slow cooker, which was a great idea, but after coming home, I realized that the crock pot never got plugged in. We decided to try steam... | 3 | 27.666667 | |
1347391200 | 1347494136 | null | t5_2to41 | 392 | Schtekarn: TIFU by saying "happy 9/11" to my professor.
I'm a foreign exchange student, and when I get nervous, I sometimes mix sentences up, so after a lecture we were talking about 9/11 and he mentioned how his birthday is today, so I look up at him and say "Oh, your birthday is today? Happy 9/11!" With a big smile o... | 8 | 49 | |
1347457110 | 1347554254 | null | t5_2to41 | 4,727 | harhemostry: TIFU by playing my favorite board game
I meant to post this yesterday!
--------------------------------------------------------
I am a high schooler and we have a weekly test in geometry. The person with the highest score on this test gets to bring in a board game of his/her choice to play with whomever... | 13 | 363.615385 | |
1347461630 | 1348520115 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: tifu. Never, under any circumstances, drink a protein shake and a beer concurrently.
mudkip908: Please elaborate.
jk3nnedy: I was vomiting within 45 minutes.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1347470776 | 1347531808 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | deatras: Tifu and realized I can't afford the college I was about to go to.
Today was the day I finally saw just how much I couldn't afford to attend the only school I applied to. Until today I had this idea that no matter how much I had to borrow, I wanted to attend this school. I got accepted into their engineering p... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1347476742 | 1347751444 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | ZOMGLAZRZPEWPEW: TIFU by engaging in a trivial fight
[deleted]: OH GOD LOL
ZOMGLAZRZPEWPEW: I think people got mad at me :(
| 3 | 2 | |
1347412978 | 1348196214 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | ithurtslikefuck: TIFUpdate by infecting a wound in my knee... and straining some friendships.
[Here's my original post.](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v8oyw/tifu_by_infecting_a_wound_in_my_knee/)
Fast forward a little while, and I get the first date with her (she never noticed the scar, by the way). The next d... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1347487987 | 1347514838 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | bornes: TIFU by trying to help a busy employee at subway
In line at subway, ordered two subs. Some people got behind me and all the employees came out at the "business". They don't know what to do with this whopping 5 customer count, and one of them goes to the cashier to check me out. I get everything I need, pay, and... | 4 | 10 | |
1347494929 | 1347609572 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Shitty_FaceSwaps: TIFU. I had a full rock n' rye faygo explode all over my white shirt in the middle of class.
I brought in a faygo to my second hour, and as I was about to bask in the sweet, sugary goodness, I opened to fast, and explosively, it came out of the bottle and ruined my brand new shirt. Feels dumb, man.
DQ... | 8 | 1.625 | |
1347514467 | 1347647927 | null | t5_2to41 | 107 | throwawayforheimlich: TIFU by mistaking a stranger's email for my girlfriend's
Long story short, my girlfriend (let's call her Megan) goes by her nickname (Meg). However her email address is megan.lastname@website and I mistook it to be meg.lastname@website. I sent an extremely dirty email to someone I thought was my g... | 8 | 13.375 | |
1347481783 | 1347544009 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | crysanna: TIFU my brother in law's face
I should start by saying that my brother in law lives in my basement. We'll call him John. John has a longtime girlfriend and they've broken up several times (for no more than a few hours each time) in the past year.
Early this morning John shows up around 8am, goes in the backd... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1347486071 | 1347633121 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting a second degree burn
Alright, I was just about to take a fish filet out of the oven and it didn't go as smooth as I had planned. The fish got stuck to the piece of paper you have it on and me being stupid, as usual, decided to give it a good pull without my spatula. Well, turns out I pulled i... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1347544538 | 1350529880 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | JamesLeCameraMan: TIFU by "Watching" porn in class.
2 days ago, the internet was extremely slow, and I wanted to fap, so I download some worthy fap material, it didn't stream, so I download it, please note I am on my Galaxy SIII. While it is downloading I go on Reddit (mobile) so I am derping. Then I fall asleep, I wak... | 6 | 5 | |
1347566274 | 1347671604 | null | t5_2to41 | 323 | Pandumonium1: TIFU by bicycling
I started bicycling about a month ago and I ride about 4.5 to 7 miles a day its not much but its fun and its good for enjoying the weather now. So its raining today and I'm in my black pancho with the hood over my head and helmet on top of both. I must look like a complete idiot in the r... | 12 | 26.916667 | |
1347571416 | 1348106797 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | vicebanger: TIFU: By elaborating my belief on Jesus Christ being the sun. And how Christianity is just a Plagerized version of Egyptian religion.. to my baptist boss
Told my boss that science has never let me down. He mentioned god.Told him i believed in a God molecule. Asked about Jesus. Emptied the can of worms. Told... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1347590497 | 1347678203 | null | t5_2to41 | 409 | hohuho: TIFU in a gender and sexuality class
I'm male, in a 30 person class that discusses gender and sexuality in Asian countries, and I fucked up big time.
In the middle of our lecture, we began discussing a short story we had read, and our professor told us to get up and walk to different parts of the room that she... | 5 | 81.8 | |
1347631696 | 1347660631 | null | t5_2to41 | 161 | Stratum5: TIFU: by spreading Veet all over groin area.
So today was an interesting day. In the morning I shaved my eyebrows off by accident. That was the start...Later I was getting itchy because of the high humidity so I decide to shave my groin area. I noticed that my skin had been peeling by my inner thighs...Veet w... | 12 | 13.416667 | |
1347647284 | 1347671205 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,077 | serpentine1: TIFU and accidentally sent the girl I like porn.
Really the title says it all. It all started two nights ago. It was poker night with my friends. All of the sudden my friend says "did you guys know that Carly Rae Jepsen has a sex tape?" Anyways, fast-forward to the next night. I'm on Facebook video chattin... | 10 | 107.7 | |
1347655983 | 1347677474 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | SPDSKTR: TIFU by charging time to a job I apparently wasn't supposed to.
I just got an e-mail from a project manager about charging 1.5 hours to one of his jobs because I was reviewing some documents associated with that job. Since nobody likes to tell me anything, I'm receiving an ass chewing from said project manage... | 3 | 4 | |
1347659869 | 1347678083 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | GoldenGangsta66: TIFU by buying an Ipod without knowing I needed Itunes
I bought an Ipod from somebody I know and I've never had any apple products to begin with before any of the hate starts rolling in. I have had MP3 players and to get music on there you just sync them through your Windows Media Player. When I attemp... | 5 | 1 | |
1347684222 | 1347753772 | t3_zwek8 | t5_2to41 | -53 | [deleted]: Ridiculous. How are you supposed to get your car home?
Darkstrategy: Plan accordingly. Public transportation is a thing. Worst case scenario put in your phone where you parked and take a cab home to get it the next day.
[deleted]: I did plan accordingly. I brought my car.
Darkstrategy: So did the guy who kil... | 11 | -4.818182 | |
1347671239 | 1347781394 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Sargwa: TIFU by giving the wrong meds
This was actually last week, but I work overnights at a shelter for teens. If kids are on any medication we are responsible to dispense it. There was one kid who changed the time he took it from evenings to mornings. I was so concerned about him getting his meds that the second he ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1347714279 | 1347741368 | null | t5_2to41 | 250 | e_coyote: TIFU restulting in a violent beer shower.
*Was directed here with this, guess it's the perfect place to tell my story from tonight.*
After working 3 years in a bar, today was my first shift as the responsible bartender - opening and closing the bar. Early on the evening our tap beer started fucking up, there... | 9 | 27.777778 | |
1347746133 | 1348472192 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by clogging my boyfriend's toilet and leaving before he noticed.
The man doesn't have a bathroom trashcan, and he knows it's that time of the month. The least embarrassing option was to flush the tampon, which I tried, but that didn't work. I tried again like an hour later, and still no success. After t... | 3 | 2 | |
1347738487 | 1347795335 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | acristoff: TIFU by leaving my ex's handcuffs sitting on my desk for more than one week
I don't live alone so it was a pretty awkward moment
darthelmo: Was it awkward because your ex- was still in them?
stormaes: Or were you still in them?
edit: and is he now your ex because he left you handcuffed to a desk for a week?... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1347757046 | 1347820653 | null | t5_2to41 | 594 | [deleted]: TIFU: taking a cold 40-gallon shower in about thirty seconds
T(woyearsago)IFU: The "violent beer shower" post reminded me of something I did a couple years ago that taught me a hard lesson about household maintenance.
I used to work for my landlord as the property maintenance man. This involved going around... | 13 | 45.692308 | |
1347761802 | 1347766560 | null | t5_2to41 | 135 | TonightsWhiteKnight: TIFU by getting too excited for sex.
Today my fiance and I were fooling around in bed when the notion of a little blow job came up. My fiance told me that she wouldn't give me one unless I trimmed up down below so in my horny fervor I took of for the bathroom and grabbed the razor. I prepped and be... | 17 | 7.941176 | |
1347771297 | 1347880363 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | wonkafur: TIFU by being a bitch and hanging up on my boyfriend
I am in a long distance relationship, and I called to talk to him and he had his sister and her boyfriend over and wanted to hang out with them. Instead of behaving like a normal human being I said okay then he said he'd call me tommoorw and all I said was ... | 5 | 1 | |
1347772090 | 1347867295 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | mlg131: TIFU by leaving my notebook at the airport in Shanghai
Didnt realise until I was on the plane. Now I have no computer, or photos from the last 3 months of travelling
niubishuaige: Sorry to hear that. They do speak English at major Chinese airports so you can call the lost items department (I assume you could fi... | 4 | 4 | |
1347782699 | 1347825635 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | prime22806: Tifu by locking myself in my room
So I got a new doorknob with a lock on it (my old one didn't come with a key and I wanted to switch to one that does) and decided to install it myself. I didn't want to bother my dad, he ends up doing all those kinds of jobs around the house and must be sick of it, right? ... | 5 | 6 | |
1347825146 | 1348260046 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | Ms_Freedom: TIFU by giving my kitchen a bubble bath...
I ran out of laundry detergent but I really needed to wash my sneakers. So being the genius that I am, I decided to use Ajax liquid dish washing soap instead. I usually use 1 cup of regular laundry detergent, so to err on the side of caution, I only used 3/4 of a... | 5 | 12.6 | |
1347826068 | 1348109746 | null | t5_2to41 | 245 | Erikster: TIFU by forgetting to rehydrate before going to bed
So I went to the Anthrax concert last night. The building was hot and humid from the bodies and the lights. Even though I found a spot that was under an A/C vent, I was still roasting.
In fact, as I type this now, I remember that A/C can contribute to dehyd... | 6 | 40.833333 | |
1347826609 | 1348182819 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | DevilWorshipper: TIFU: Weed whacked a giant, fresh Doberman turd. Ended-up with smelly dog shit all over my shirt and face.
I was weed whacking (using one of those bad-ass, 2-cycle loud-as-fuck weed whackers) for a woman who owns two big Dobermans. I was in a particularly dense patch and had the thing going full-thrott... | 5 | 19.8 | |
1347834609 | 1347937998 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | xiPlayWithCrayons: TIFU by playing F3AR.
I'd been playing for awhile and came to the conclusion that the game wasn't nearly as scary as the games before it. I made my character climb up a ladder, where the light above it flickered in an eerily sort of way. About halfway up the ladder, I'm able to see through the bars c... | 8 | 3.25 | |
1347841362 | 1348106987 | null | t5_2to41 | 553 | DrissPinker: TIFU by drinking my own piss.
I'm your typical, neck-bearded, loner redditor. This means I spend an unhealthy amount of time alone down in my basement, PC gaming, redditing... you get the idea.
Occasionally, I will bring a large bottle of drink downstairs so I don't have to produce effort and actually g... | 12 | 46.083333 | |
1347840172 | 1347844986 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Kittypie070: TIFU by getting temp-banned on Fark for "hate speech".
I have absolutely no idea what I said.
I'm waiting for a mod to respond to my e-mail.
My god I feel like an utter idiot.
Edit: Fark temp bans last for 24 hours.
gbromios: I'd probably just end my life if I wasn't able to post on FARK for a whole 24 ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1347847793 | 1347920800 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | pedestrian11: TIFU by forgetting my PIN and losing my credit card to an ATM.
I was super tired after having been traveling on a plane for 24 hours, and didn't stop to think that I might be better off not having that third attempt. Now I have to wait a week to get a new card.
trouphaz: Lol. That happened to me once..... | 7 | 7 | |
1347849658 | 1347894194 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Kiwispam84: TIFU and got my finger stuck in a plastic water bottle
So I'm outside, enjoying the sun with a group of good friends, fiddling around with a plastic water bottle, when I realize my middle finger was small enough to get into the bottle, but somehow can't get out. I think my knuckle bent a little as it went i... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1347834377 | 1347894371 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | MarriedToReddit: TIFU by walking on hot pavement
Title says it all. Now I have blisters on the outside of the balls of my feet. It's not *that* bad, but I have to wear heels for a homecoming on Saturday. I also have to work, because my family is moving. Fun times.
EDIT: I was barefoot. Of course I forgot to put that.
... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1347887448 | 1348014719 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | Ryanlynn2004: TIFU by taking craze before a class
Before I left for my morning workout, I took Craze, a pre-workout supplement that gets you hyped up for your workout.
Upon arriving to my workout, I was notified that I have M4 (a type of rifle that is used in the military) training today. The first half of the day ... | 7 | 9.285714 | |
1347867265 | 1347926144 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by (accidentally) making fun of deaf people at a party
I was at a party and saw people playing beer pong. I was already pretty drunk, so when I saw them signalling with their hands and making excessive gestures, I assumed they were taking the game way too seriously. So I mimicked them.
Worst part is, ... | 4 | 7 | |
1347899762 | 1348334188 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | suck_my_diction: TIFU by drinking bong water
I was getting ready to smoke a bowl with my little bong, and I grabbed a half empty bottle of water to fill my bong with. I smoked the bowl (or possibly two) and I decided to call it quits by pouring the bong-y water back into the bottle, so I can dispose of it later.
Sudd... | 13 | 2.538462 | |
1347897895 | 1347976841 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | mailto_devnull: TIFU by making a "ouch" face when one of my co-workers told me he bought a new laptop over the weekend -- an HP Pavilion
... on second thought - it was completely justified. I still feel guilty, though.
1stGenRex: What should he have bought, a Macbook Pro?
Octopus_Tetris: Anything but a HP, I think.
PCG... | 9 | 4.222222 | |
1347901093 | 1347915706 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | ohnoitsrambo: TIFU by spraying Gatorade all over a girl.
Basically, title says it all. Went to spray her with a little "pff" that comes out of the bottle, (don't lie to me, you all know what its like) and i ended up spraying it ALL over her. She ran out of the class, and now i feel awful. She came back for a brief mome... | 6 | 17.666667 | |
1347905346 | 1347989054 | null | t5_2to41 | 612 | BIGkeith70: TIFU and got pepper spray on my manhood
My friends gf caries pepper spray with her. Me being your average 20 year old genius, had her spray my hand to see if it would do anything. Turns out that burns like a mofo. To make things worse about ten minutes later I went to take a leak. I had forgotten all abo... | 9 | 68 | |
1347914232 | 1348021396 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing coke.
I know that this isn't your average post and it doesn't seem funny but i do see it fitting to this subreddit. The prior information that you need to know about me for you to be able to recognize the severity and amplitude of this story are as follows.
I've never done coke before.
I had... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1347915616 | 1348182641 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | [deleted]: TIFU by being racist
Today was my first day of kung-fu and I obviously didn't know who the sifu was. So I walk in to the dojo and see an asian guy standing there looking all tough and what not. Having watched too many kung-fu movies I immideatly thought he was the sifu, so I walked up to him and said hello a... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1347922599 | 1348089604 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by helping my friend follow his dreams
reddit, today i did something that might haunt me for the rest of my life. My best friend has been talking to this girl and has actually found TRUE LOVE. this is rare, because he is 15. for a long time now, he has been looking for ways to get to her (her being all ... | 6 | 0.166667 | |
1347926506 | 1348121699 | null | t5_2to41 | 153 | yeawhateva14: TIFU with my gf
TIFU by going to a wing place called Quaker stake and lube. I figured that I'd try the *atomic* sauce. A little side fact, you have to sign a waiver to eat the wings. I had a few, and let me say they were the hottest shit I've ever eaten. Apparently, I didn't wash my hands well enough and ... | 11 | 13.909091 | |
1347930027 | 1348518515 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | shitstain1: TIFU by running the air conditioning too often and amassing a giant bill.
My electricity bill for this month is more than 4 times more than what it normally is. Apparently I ran the ac way too much. I ran it more but I don't remember running it THAT much. So now I'm sitting here with a $270 electricity bill... | 10 | 2.6 | |
1347935505 | 1347939942 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by coughing will pooping
In case you don't know, coughing makes your sphincter pinch down tight and quick. Chance of clean first wipe destroyed.
[deleted]: Am I the only one who read this as 'TIFU by coughing up popcorn'?
VentCo: I read it as 'TIFU by coughing up pooping'
...
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1347940375 | 1347943543 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Starside3: TIFU by pooping my pants, then throwing the remains in a dumpster.
So, a week ago, I was washing my hands in the restroom, when I had an urge to fart.I then realized I had shit my pants. I took off my underwear and pooped for the next hour, then I wiped. I then placed the nasty underwear in a plastic bag. I ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1347899923 | 1347983453 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Thegodofreddit: TIFU by playing a match of rugby with a severe hangover.
many of us were hungover after a party the night before. It should go without saying that we lost badly and many of us sustained injury's.
mastercha74: how did you even play? I can barely walk to the kitchen hungover
Thegodofreddit: Lets just say... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1347961622 | 1347992479 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | darkrock: TIFU while camping.
Dave, Brent and I are going camping, but we mess around and wait too long; when we get to the campsite, it's almost dark, and I didn't bring anything to start the fire, other than matches, and we're no survival experts.
After a few failed attempts, I go back to the car and head to a gas... | 4 | 21 | |
1347973164 | 1347991070 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | Inglonias: TIFU at 1 AM, locked out of my dorm IN THE RAIN.
I had to walk all the way to the 24 hour desk in another buiding, in the rain, in my bathrobe just to get a loaner key card.
[deleted]: It happens to everyone at some point. I locked myself out of my dorm at 3am in a white tanktop and no pants while wearing su... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1347992566 | 1348181814 | null | t5_2to41 | 505 | [deleted]: TIFU by making two girls in class behind me think I was looking up dirty pictures
So I'm sitting in the second to last row in lecture browsing Reddit because, well, I'm bored as fuck. So I click on the enlarge picture button of a particular front page post and **NSFW** [this] (http://i.imgur.com/H7SKd.jpg) *... | 7 | 72.142857 | |
1347999237 | 1348457623 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | nightwheel: TIFU by dropping my Samsung Galaxy 3 III while walking to class
Well after most of a day that seemed to be going smoothly. I went to pull the phone out of my pocket to check the time. I guess I didn't have a good hold on my phone, and it dropped corner first onto ashphalt. The drop wiped out the digitizer a... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1348009220 | 1348192316 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by dumping my gf by text...
CocoaCaramel: That's how half the breakups occur these days, man. Don't feel bad.
[deleted]: Yeah, but I feel bad because she felt really close to me and i dumped her like that...
Arx0s: Why'd you dump her then?
[deleted]: Because she's kinda creepy... And she follows me sti... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1348011337 | 1348012426 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | MindlessJamiroca: TIFU by telling a senior member of my company that a member of staff is petty thieving.
We all know they do it, and we were making jokes about it all day. I was told specifically to make sure not to do so in front of the senior guy. Right of the end of the shift a joke came out of my mouth.
My manag... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1348028353 | 1348072565 | null | t5_2to41 | 313 | UndercoverThetan: TIFU by, in a fit of anger, flushing an avocado down my dorm toilet.
About a week back, I was at my local grocery store, and I decided I would try to eat more healthily. So, I grabbed some bananas, healthy yogurt, and avocados while I was there. Bananas were good, yogurt was good, but the avocados wer... | 6 | 52.166667 | |
1348037233 | 1348074761 | null | t5_2to41 | 173 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling the police I had anthrax in my briefcase.
I was having a shitty day, I was feeling down, frustrated and angry. I went in to JB to buy Darksiders II. Anyway, they usually have a man at the door to mark of your receipts as you leave, you know, to prevent theft. Just my luck there were 3 police... | 24 | 7.208333 | |
1348035846 | 1348063279 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | flyhighh: TIFU by sticking my pinky finger in a girls pocket
Class had just ended, I got up from my seat to pack my things but noticed my chair was in the way of people wanting to exit.
So I reached behind to pull in my chair without looking and somehow with my luck, my pinky finger got caught in a girl's back pocket.... | 4 | 13 | |
1348053979 | 1348091120 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | findearnmakesteal: TIFU by possibly fracturing my kneecap in a country where I don't have health insurance
I'm an american, currently living in France. I just got here three weeks ago and have been mainly getting settled. Now, with my longstay visa, I am entitled to profit from the French social security system, which ... | 7 | 11.285714 | |
1348068858 | 1348080241 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | [deleted]: TIFU, and it's my dad's fault.
Basically, I thought I'd help my mum out by taking the washing out of the machine and putting it in the tumble dryer. It was then that I noticed something poking out of my dad's shorts, so I pulled it out and I saw a rather thick looking £20 note rolled up. I unrolled it to fin... | 9 | 11.444444 | |
1348078182 | 1348109782 | null | t5_2to41 | 298 | mizzack: TIFU badly at the gym.
So there I was, adjusting a [squat rack](http://simage1.sportsmansguide.com/adimgs/l/1/188540_ts.jpg). I don't really know what happened, but after pulling the adjustment pin, my thumb got caught between one of the inner adjustment holes and the outer frame. [It was not pleasant [very ... | 7 | 42.571429 | |
1348099237 | 1349442891 | null | t5_2to41 | 954 | Crankshaft69: TIFU by letting my roommate use my laptop before class.
So my roommate's computer has been out of commission for a couple days and he asked if he could use my laptop to check his email about 10 minutes before class this morning. Of course I said yes and he checked his email as i was getting ready to leave... | 13 | 73.384615 | |
1348108238 | 1348236620 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: Last Night I Fucked Up by talking in my sleep.
[deleted]: >TIFU, TL;DR I stuck my dick in crazy
get out now!
TheFreakingBatman: what the hell is this i don't understand what did i just read
[deleted]: TIFU = Today I Fucked Up
TL;DR = To Long; Didn't Read
> I stuck my dick in crazy
Rule #1, do... | 4 | 4 | |
1348116882 | 1348135214 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | sean_ake: TIFU
Moon_or_Die: Well was it forcibly err did you choose to do that??
Harhan: [I watched the first one of my own free will, then went on to read half of the second book.](http://i.qkme.me/3q0d4p.jpg)
Also admittedly, I did it for my now ex girlfriend.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1348158317 | 1348267513 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU and got caught.
So guys, Today I fucked up. Big time.
Yesterday night, my hot family friend was over for the night and was going in the bath. My bedroom is adjacent to the bath and being the horny bugger I am, decided to take a peep through a peephole. I stood there and her mom caught me staring into ... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1348179452 | 1348205550 | null | t5_2to41 | 348 | MrShartyPants: TIFU and trusted a fart that I shouldn't have.
So, I was scheduled to go see a client on-site today. Before the appointment, I met a friend of mine at a local BBQ place. Afterwards, I'm sitting in my car, about to leave when I suddenly have a seemingly normal urge to fart.
I'm now sitting in my car wi... | 10 | 34.8 | |
1348191442 | 1348240942 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | Jmanmanman: TIFU by asking a group of Australians what team they root for.
They all laughed at me because supposedly the word "rooting" for them means to fuck.
Maksimilian: thats crazy, I wonder that other crazy words they use
Maksimilian: oh and one more thing... crazy
Yonder_Marshmallow: Over here people can frequent... | 5 | 11.8 | |
1348201465 | 1348342342 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | kevincreeperpants: TIFU by reading this. Seriously this needs to stop, its childish and annoying. We are not five years old.
http://imgur.com/TmuOr
Darthblaker7474: You twit, people create "throwaway" accounts as they don't want their normal accounts to be related the the Fuck Up.
kevincreeperpants: They are anonymous ... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1348213115 | 1348262563 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: Fucked over one of my best friends
Hey, first time posting to this subreddit.
I became good friends with this guy, we'll call him Greg. When I had met him, he was dating this girl, we'll call her Mary.
They were hitting it off, had an amazing relationship for almost a year and seemed amazing together. Sh... | 9 | 4 | |
1348231010 | 1348437803 | null | t5_2to41 | 469 | ironlassie: TIFU by accidentally being an evil racist.
* *If you find bad language offensive: You will not find this amusing in the slightest, but I will continue regardless, just please, sweet jesus, learn from my fuck up!*
So, I live with 3 friends (all white). One of them brings over a friend (who is black) and w... | 15 | 31.266667 | |
1348246700 | 1348252751 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU By dislocating my "index" Toe via the stairs
Basically, I wake up as normal at around 6am (Baby son is crying for feed)
I usually do this routine in a bit of a rush to obtain some more sleep, so I run down the stairs, only to slip on the metal on the stairgate and fly straight into the wall foot first... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1348255625 | 1348323900 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | cara242: TIFU by getting my finger stuck in the camera hole of my phone case
Natural human assumption-what goes in must come out. Right? Wrong.
Today's events disproved this when the camera hole in my phonecase took my little finger hostage. Of course, I thought I could slip it out with some brute force and oil, but I... | 6 | 9.833333 | |
1348261358 | 1349166837 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | SmellyDomino: TIFU while driving hung over.
I just got home from Thailand yesterday, so I had a party and got totally wasties. Today, I'm driving to the mall to get a dress for my cousins wedding and start to puke in my mouth, so i pull over and puke out of my open door. When i look up, three people were staring at m... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1348266270 | 1348578609 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | throwninlie: TIFU by missing my flight (slept through the alarm)
I'm a college student, and I pulled an all nighter to finish some work due today in order to go to a weekend long "scholarship leadership conference" that I had signed up for weeks before. I decided to take a 30 minute nap (poor decision, I know) because ... | 4 | 24 | |
1348272751 | 1348282390 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | asnof: TIFU, I refused a raise
My job goes on day rates every 12 hours and right now I am on a training rate. I could have gotten a raise to a "hand" rate ($430 per rate). I politely declined because I have been on 1 job where involvement was possible. The job is easy as shit too. Then they were talking about sendi... | 3 | 5 | |
1348269222 | 1348294743 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | 666_666: TIFU by dropping a hard drive
I was going to watch a movie and needed to plug the external harddrive to another laptop. I clasped/grabbed the drive carelessly with one hand, walked two meters and it slipped out, with a breaking sound.
Fortunately the directory structure was preserved, and I copied the content... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1348292375 | 1348319045 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | 1infinitel00p: Today I told I accidentally told my teacher that i have no respect for her.
divinesleeper: ...what?
Why would you say that? And why would you even think a stupid insult would compromise your highschool career? If that's what you care about more than the actual feelings of the teacher, don't bother to a... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1348324953 | 1348353508 | null | t5_2to41 | 789 | [deleted]: TIFU by slipping and falling into my own shit.
Technically last night, but I was too drunk to post this at the time. My friend invited me to attend his house party last night and I needed to take a massive shit. Since there was some drunk girl throwing up in the only bathroom I decided to take my chances in ... | 4 | 197.25 | |
1348329581 | 1348358556 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | [deleted]: TIFU by hanging my shit in a tree where my entire family could see it every day
The "slipped in my shit" post reminds me of something I did several years ago, if anybody wants to hear it.
So this was back when I was married to my first wife, years before I ever took the apartment maintenance job I made the ... | 5 | 24.4 | |
1348349571 | 1348415027 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | timeleaper76: TIFU by wiping my ass with disinfecting wipes instead of baby wipes
Just as the title says. I carry baby wipes to get that more fresh feeling after a shit. Baby wipes were on the counter in the bathroom next to disinfecting ones. Wasn't paying attention and took the wrong one. My ass is fucking burning!! ... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1348355706 | 1348390277 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | thirdeyeblindislit: TIFU by sleeping with my boss's daughter
I have been single for a bit so I decided to check out a dating website. I found the most beautiful blonde girl I've ever seen in my life. She was looking for long term commitment and was not ok with casual sex. We began talking and then flash forward we hit... | 13 | 11.461538 | |
1348351608 | 1348360022 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | WeekendOfSurvival: TIFU By Talking To A Little Kid
I was working at a golf team fundraiser, and i had to take tickets for the mechanical bull. A little blonde boy about the age of 6 comes up and stands by where the line starts (the fundraiser hadn't been going on for very long so there was practically no one there.) an... | 3 | 7 | |
1348360227 | 1348464862 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | SinatraFan77: TIFU My Dad's Lawn.
Today, my dad was going to go hunting, so I thought "Let me be a good son and cut his grass". I did so, and for the life of me could not get the lawnmower to cut. I said "The blades must be messed up, I should lower them to get a better cut". He usually cuts at something like two inche... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1348373378 | 1348462422 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | HAND92: TIFU by going to a wedding with an obvious hickey.
I wore my hair up at my brother-in-law's wedding today. Little did I know there was a little reminder of last night left on my neck. At the reception a friend points out my hickey. I look in the mirror and to my horror there is a nice sized hickey that was very... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1348380432 | 1348775331 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | [deleted]: TIFU by cutting my ballsack with a pair of scissors.
So it happened yesterday but it was late and I was tired to I didn't get to post it. So me, the genius that I was, thought "Hmm, I better use scissors instead of that razor! It'll be faster and easier!" So it's going well, no problems yet, and I'm being SU... | 12 | 6.083333 | |
1348409168 | 1348433770 | null | t5_2to41 | 380 | prussianiron: TIFU by rubbing my dick raw
So my girlfriend and I got back together last week but haven't had sex yet (odd considering we are both sex addicts). However it's clear we're both horny.
So we found a small grove that we were sitting in before we started kissing. One thing led to another, and she was on top... | 9 | 42.222222 | |
1348430236 | 1348444484 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | theatasigma: TIFU my iPhone 4S
TIFU my iPhone 4S, put it on the dash while collecting my things, bumped the steering wheel, it slid off and hit the ground. Picked it up, and it has a huge crack across the front. Best parts of this incident, was it was in a case that was supposed to protect it and when I went to test ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1348444583 | 1348692350 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | failsandfacepalms: TIFU by trying to shave my cat...
So it wasn't like I was actually shaving the fur all the way to the skin, it was just that it was so long so i tried getting a little shorter and then my kitty freaked. I have scratches all over my face and arms, and I look like a zombie.
ltcarter47: Why do people sh... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1348445978 | 1348804487 | null | t5_2to41 | 519 | thejayman41: TIFU shutting my door
I was sitting in my room when my mom yelled that everyone would be grocery shopping and that i would be home alone. I waited for them to leave and then I got to business (wandering around my house naked) it was maybe an hour later when i was exiting my room again when, suddenly, my mo... | 10 | 51.9 | |
1348447913 | 1348526719 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | geckoone: TIFU by snooping and ruining my birthday
So yeah, was helping my wife do some online thing and she went to give the kids a bath and clicked on her facebook tab and she had a message that was mid conversation. The previous messages were gone (indicating she had deleted them).
The text was in spanish and had a... | 4 | 13 | |
1348468402 | 1348604318 | null | t5_2to41 | 119 | HisNamesDoom: tifu by trying to pull metal out of a wall socket...
6.45am, im waking up early to meet my girlfriend and go to work, i've had about 5 hours sleep and i'm not in the best shape mentally. the power cord for my laptop has an EU adapter, through my violent masturbation last night (hypothetically) i broke off... | 8 | 14.875 | |
1348464129 | 1348519321 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a pizza
I made the dough just fine (a bag mix) but when putting it on the first pan I forgot to grease the pan. So that pizza ended up with the bottom half sticking to the pan. But that's not the biggest fuck up.
With this mix, you're supposed to cook the pizza for 7-9 minutes without toppi... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1348480229 | 1348586367 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | MathewRogers: TIFU by zapping myself with my Mum's laptop's rice-cooker adapter.
Little bit of a backstory to this weirdly-worded post. A little while back, the family and I went to California to see my great uncle there. Anyway, whilst we were there, my mum bought two things that would soon enough cause me to get quit... | 4 | 14 | |
1348463552 | 1348777083 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | laughingalto: TIFU by Holding up a "Close Gitmo" Sign at a Taping of a Local TV Show
I ruined a dolly shot of the audience. It wasn't live, so they just won't use it. But here's the thing: I know the crew. Usually I work right alongside them. They're mostly all fellow church members on the multimedia team at my local (... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1348516399 | 1348527581 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | pall_mall_blackout: TIFU trying to fix my car
My dad cosigned on a brand new car for me. I've had it for about 2 months and I hit something and scratched the front. The scratch was barely noticeable, but I panicked and thought he would take the car away from me forever. So I decided the best possible short term solutio... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1348521506 | 1348541683 | null | t5_2to41 | 518 | carpet_dont_match: TIFU by accidentally bleaching my pubes
Recently moved to Europe from the US. I hate shaving my downstairs as much as the next lady, so I went to the store to buy some hair removal cream. I was looking at all of the boxes and picked one with a brand name I recognized- Veet- but didn't really look at ... | 7 | 74 |
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