start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1349529310 | 1349608481 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Tronberr: TIFU by spilling vomit all over my best friend's floor.
My best friend had his 18th not too long ago and he decided to throw a house party with about 12 people.
We all drank a lot, just about 90% of us were pissed out of our minds, including me. So while we're all having fun there's my friend passed out on ... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1349566576 | 1349762847 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU And sleep-called my ex, telling her I want to get back together
So I broke up with my insane girlfriend a few weeks ago, and she was trying to get us back together. NO. So I fell asleep a few days ago and in my sleep, called her, and asked her to get back together. She recorded it so I know it happened.... | 6 | 4.5 | |
1349560757 | 1349628245 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU: I gave my friend my username on asianfanfics.com
The name of the website is rather self-explainitory, but there's a lot of content that is rather.. [this](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/83630/1/no-money-kyuhyun-kyuwon-siwon-superjunior-wonkyu-yaoi) - not to mention I'm subscribed to a lot of re... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1349580862 | 1349750014 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | [deleted]: TIFU by marching barefoot in freezing water
I'm in a high school marching band. Today, we were preparing for our first marching contest. It was 7:30 in the morning, it had rained the previous night, and it was about 50 degrees outside. We went out to the football field to practice for the contest, and as I g... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1349591667 | 1349647481 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Xodium: TIFU by trying to sync my music library before drinking my coffee.
I'm sure others will think that this is *nothing*, but for me, it was particularly devastating.
I'm usually good about keeping my most valuable chunk of data (the music library in question) synced across multiple devices: I have a copy always ... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1349594334 | 1349620242 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: Last night I fucked up at a birthday party.
Yesterday, I was invited to a friend's birthday party. It was in the evening at her house, and there was alcohol. I carpooled with some other friends that were invited and we were already kind of late. I took some cranberry vodka, and it affected me pretty bad, sin... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1349608231 | 1349695936 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,395 | sebast91: TIFU: I possibly molested my roommate.
Technically yesterday, but I just woke up and he's not here anymore, so anyways here's the gist of how the fuck I ended up doing this.
It started out as one of those simple rather small parties where we invited some friends over - not much only 5 not that this matters... | 14 | 99.642857 | |
1349613341 | 1349634448 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | nogswarth: TIFU by severely crashing my moped for the second time in exactly a year.
Sit on my knee, r/tifu. It's story time. Actually get off, my knee is in searing agony right now! D:
Last October, I fell off my moped in the rain not concentrating and most likely singing Neutral Milk Hotel at the top of my lungs ins... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1349624355 | 1349635253 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | Narwalsbacon: TIFU By yawning
Okay, the deal is that I'm trying to get a new job because my old manager is a fucking asshat. So, after literally hours on job websites I find the ideal job. It's really close to my home, it seems like something I'd like to do and it's great. I try to give them my résumé. They are asking ... | 3 | 13 | |
1349632453 | 1350082224 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU: By taking the elevator to the highest floor in the resort im staying at, going to the balcony and spitting down.
As my spit travels down way slower than I expected it someone, sticks their head out and it hits the back of his head. I instantly pulled my head back so he wouldn't see me but I was very ... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1349637650 | 1349639753 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | chasethenoise: TIFU: I peed and vomited in the back of my friend's car then broke my house door down because I couldn't work the key.
It probably had something to do with the handle of whiskey I'd been working on. A few friends from work and I were heading downtown to check out a few bars and to save money, I brought a... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1349633566 | 1349658331 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | Zerorion: TIFU and downloaded a shit ton of malware onto my computer.
So, I woke up this morning to the fresh smell of trying to download Black Mesa onto my computer. I heard a lot of praise about it from r/gaming, so I decided to give it a try.
I went to their website, and clicked on the friggin' huge "DOWNLOAD" but... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1349646485 | 1349713374 | null | t5_2to41 | 269 | sebast91: TIFUpdate: So I talked to me roommate about what we did.
http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1130tf/tifu_i_possibly_molested_my_roommate/
It feels like its been a long day but I'll just state now that everything went a lot better than I had expected.
I didn't reply to his text but he did get pulp so tha... | 8 | 33.625 | |
1349647178 | 1350023267 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | ilikepineapples: TIFU by relapsing while on probation.
More like, I went to my first party in 7 months and went all out. Praying I don't get a surprise UA anytime soon. Anyone know how long Molly stays in your system??
tyjohns324: Molly is usually within the week. 3-7 days is usual for me at 160lb and 6,1 height.
ae... | 7 | 6.571429 | |
1349649312 | 1349689098 | null | t5_2to41 | 550 | Fr4t: TIFU by ejaculating all over the place
So I was on vacation for a week and simply had no (private) time to release some pressure. Horny me couldn't wait for the girlfriend to show up so I decided to go on a date with rosey palms and her five sisters.
So as I was about to finish, well... I was prepared for a bigg... | 9 | 61.111111 | |
1349648680 | 1349740972 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | stln00b: TIFU by asking my date if she wanted to watch 50/50.
Her last relationship was with a man to whom she was engaged and has a child with. He died of cancer 6 months ago.
Edit: For clarification, yes I knew he died of cancer, I just didn't think before I blurted out the suggestion.
Judge_Hate: How did you fuck u... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1349658765 | 1349719170 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my mom when my dad was going to die so that I could get the money I'm supposed to inherit and he heard me say it.
First of all, I feel like the biggest asshole ever for saying it. I was in a really bad mood when I said it.
Second, my dad is supposed to leave me a good amount of money when he ... | 3 | 8 | |
1349655044 | 1349827033 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by missing my chance to dance with the girl of my dreams
So a little background first: I'm in high school, and i am in junior ROTC. I'm on primary staff and we have to get a dance partner to dance with us in front of the whole (150) battalion.
Last week, the S5 (in charge of the military ball) gave us ... | 3 | 8 | |
1349662947 | 1350291714 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | SeymourU: TIFU By Pooping at Starbucks
So today was like any other Sunday, I just wanted to go down to the coffee shop and hammer out some work and take a test with my lady accompanying me. So I'm slamming back iced coffee and cranking out some homeworks. So before the test starts I thought that a little smoke break wo... | 7 | 8.428571 | |
1349669782 | 1349706785 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | alison14: TIFU
So I went to a football party and our team ended up losing, I used this as an excuse to get super drunk. I started taking shots of vodka and before I knew it, I was completely wasted. At this time I start to text a guy that I knew from facebook, but never actually met him. We decide to go to this party t... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1349704212 | 1349706133 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | Stoned_Turtles: TIFU by hanging out with my friends instead of getting it in.
I have a friend who is a girl(not my girlfriend) on the street next to me that rides my bus. So, last friday her friend come over and stays all weekend. They had told me they wanted to hang out and I had just met her friend and she was hintin... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1349713550 | 1349751567 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | [deleted]: TIFU by making fun of the house keeper thinking she was my sister and it gets worse...
So this lady knocks on the door and says "house keeping" almost exactly like the woman from family guy. Thinking it was my sister I repeat loudly without opening the door, "house keeping?" in the same tone. She says yes,... | 4 | 24 | |
1349714573 | 1349801720 | null | t5_2to41 | 757 | toolongreaditall: TIFU by making horribly inappropriate eye contact...with my cat.
So, the door in my room has a gap of an inch or two where it doesn't reach the floor on the bottom. The cat likes to paw down there and generally try to claw her way into my room. This is fine and usually pretty funny, except for today u... | 8 | 94.625 | |
1349721588 | 1349896451 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | wwt0112: TIFU by lying to a crazy girl.
A little over a year ago, I went to homecoming with this girl. She was really into me, but I wasn't interested because she was a little weird. She believed she was an empath, and she talked about how she hated the idea of love when she had had 6 boyfriends by age 14. She would gi... | 6 | 4 | |
1349743270 | 1349787629 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | Omnicis: Leaving my facebook account open at home.
I am 22, still in college. Go to school 3 hours away from home. My mother is super religious (about bible belt average I would say), and I am a typical 22 year old college guy.
She snooped my messages back to like... 3 months ago.
All she told me was "You left your f... | 6 | 11.666667 | |
1349739036 | 1349846508 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: YIFU By hitting my little cousins head off the floor.
My little cousins kept running by me so i decided to start tickling them, it was all fun and games until I grabbed the little guy and started tickling his sides and his feet slipped from under him and he landed directly on his head.
I cant help but feel ... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1349755861 | 1349804604 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | [deleted]: TIFU by lighting my porch on fire
I put an incense stick in a trash bag before putting it out on the porch and lit the side of the house on fire. Had to put that thing out with a fire extinguisher.
http://i.imgur.com/0fvwD.jpg
[deleted]: Okay, we HAVE to see pictures.
loserkid182: Surely OP will deliver.
| 3 | 17 | |
1349758033 | 1349789029 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | lindseysaywhut: TIFU by clogging my toilet... I don't own a plunger or a wire hanger
SOMEONE HELP ME. I live in a college apartment, and my roommates and I never bought a plunger. I also don't have a car, so I can't go buy those things. Does anyone know how to unclog a toilet without them?!
edit: I borrowed a plunger f... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1349764350 | 1349893871 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | new_to_cincy: TIFU by missing work on Columbus Day
I was going to go until I realized it was Columbus Day. Then I slept in and later heard I had missed work.
Flynn58: Isn't it a statutory holiday?
Cdr_Obvious: No such thing (in the US, at least). The closest is the [OPM list of holidays](http://www.opm.gov/operating_st... | 7 | 4.571429 | |
1349773773 | 1349810341 | null | t5_2to41 | 221 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to bond with our newly adopted cat.
My roommate and I have been slowly introducing our new cat to the apartment, room by room... She fell asleep on my bed, and I was thrilled - so I kinda hung out and eventually fell asleep.
There's a glass aquarium sitting on top of a five foot tall dresser,... | 5 | 44.2 | |
1349791363 | 1349885480 | null | t5_2to41 | 148 | ladygigantica: TIFU by being an adventurous cook.
Studying abroad in Asia, and all kinds of awesome foods are cheap here. So I decide "fuck it, let's play with chilies!"
Chilies, like falcons, require thick as hell gloves to be any fun. Mother of God, my hands.
http://www.servernightmares.com/wp-content/uploads/2010... | 7 | 21.142857 | |
1349805150 | 1349810520 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by being shy (as normal)
There I was, caught staring at a pretty girl in my politics class. She noticed me, a tension filled the air as our eyes met. I felt nervous and looked away.
I figured that a poem would be the easiest way to lightheartedly ask her out without having to man up. I scribbled a lit... | 7 | 2.857143 | |
1349796088 | 1349818614 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to leave my car in gear
I parked on a slight hill in the parking lot. I forgot to put my car in gear (manual transmission) and only left the parking brake on. Eventually it rolled down and hit a dirt pile bending my bumper slightly.
I got lucky though and I don't think it hit anyone's... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1349810253 | 1350914721 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | claytonhulme: TMSFU (today my son fucked up) by stepping on a bottle of chocolate milk that had been sitting in my car.
So, my son was sitting in the backseat like he's supposed to when we went to the store. He unbuckled his seat belt and hopped onto the floor. When he did this he burst open a bottle of chocolate milk... | 9 | 5.666667 | |
1349812870 | 1349975893 | null | t5_2to41 | 297 | [deleted]: TIFU by touching Scotch Bonnet chilli seeds, then changing my sanitary protection
My taco's gone spicy and it smarts :-/
coldvault: I've never heard the euphemism "sanitary protection" before. o_O Then again, I'm sure much fewer people know what a cup is than a pad or tampon.
How does the cup work for you (... | 16 | 18.5625 | |
1349811592 | 1349870980 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | luftwaffles1337: TIFU when I tried to jump up on a 2 foot high wall on one leg, slipped and hit the sharp, solid rock edge.
Yea. That's a hole into the bone... http://i.imgur.com/QrfKT.jpg
smakmahara: I actually did the same thing about 6 years ago. Tried to just patch it up. Didn't really work. Had an open wound for 1... | 8 | 11.625 | |
1349822839 | 1349832220 | null | t5_2to41 | 166 | VaginaPirate: TIFU by discovering this subreddit in class...and it gets worse..
I am in teacher education classes, don't know how I find this sub but I do, don't know why I keep reading but I do. I got to the story about the person on MDMA at work and lost it. Had to leave class and laugh in the hallway.
Typically ... | 3 | 55.333333 | |
1349833994 | 1350002642 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | Cream-Chan: TIFU by accidentally sending my 21 year-old best friend in the Marine Corp a naked picture of myself.
I've known this guy since I was 14 because he tutored me in Japanese and we've been close ever since and we agreed to stay close when he graduated from boot camp and moved to New Jersey. Unfortunately, he ... | 6 | 7 | |
1349836609 | 1350055033 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | freakinpenguins: TIFU by putting duck tape in my mouth when I was hanging a sign up. The inside of my lip is bleeding.
Fauropitotto: Was it actually *Duck Tape*^TM, or was it generic duct tape?
trouphaz: Even if it wasn't Duck Tape^TM ,[ it could still be called duck tape](http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/duckvs... | 7 | 4.571429 | |
1349840604 | 1349842478 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | mcparker73: TIFU: I deleted my document that had all of my notes that I need for my final on Friday.
Pretty fucked. All my notes are gone.
UPDATE: Thanks, you guys! I found the file, restored it, and I'm back in business! You saved me.
KingKidd: Word? Track down where the autosaves are kept. Should be under advance... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1349838575 | 1349920686 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | Flamingrecorders: TIFU when my friend walked in on me.
I called my friend and told him he could visit today, and still thought I would have time to fap. It ended up being lengthier than usual, and my phone died before he could call me and tell me he was almost there. He walks right into my room without knocking. I was ... | 4 | 15.5 | |
1349854109 | 1349931827 | t3_118p1o | t5_2to41 | 14 | darthelmo: Okay, take a look now. There are *at least* three other current similar stories. One or more of them will have good, solid advice to deflame your wang.
blueskin: Stick it in milk?
...what? I heard drinking milk was good for having eaten hot food ಠ\_ಠ.
NarwhalAttack: Not a bad idea
blue... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1349851903 | 1350137427 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Laughingcough: Wasting mom's money
TIFU: I had booked a flight home on my mom's bill. She paid for it because I'm broke and she really wants to have me visit.
I missed the flight because I thought it was the next day. I should've been more diligent about checking my info.
I'm 30.
I had to tell her I'd missed the fli... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1349859648 | 1350034291 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | Tablardier: TIFU By acting impulsively/stupidly and probably ruining a future relationship
A bit(lot) o' backstory
So this girl and I have been flirting pretty heavily for a couple weeks or so, i've made my intentions clear at least and from the signals I am getting it really seems like she is on the same page. Everyth... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1349875527 | 1349967823 | null | t5_2to41 | 333 | Seraphiend: TIFU by acting slightly creepy towards a new-ish coworker
I work in a warehouse and am getting to know people there slowly. I saw a coworker upon exiting who I met a couple of times before, and after chit chatting for less than a minute, proceeded to tell her she reminds me of the chick who plays Janice in... | 10 | 33.3 | |
1349879644 | 1349905358 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by blacking out drunk at a police event with 25 cops.
While being on a date with a cop.
NarwhalAttack: I totally forgot it's illegal to get drunk, man you sure fucked up.
gurgaue: Maybe not illegal, but might have a kind of a negative effect on the date and I have to agree the fact that there are cops j... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1349856181 | 1350160047 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU Toasting Muesli
I was casually toasting some muesli and completely forgot about it. Returned to my kitchen to witness plumes of black smoke billowing out of my oven. An apartment building evacuated and 3 fire engines later, my flatmates forbade me from ever cooking again.
Checkerszero: My ex girlfriend ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1349911935 | 1349957122 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU accepting a newer job, drug test is up in the air
I may accept a rehire position at a company where I know many friends and family members. It is a well paying professional job too. The new position was a lock but now I have to do a drug test. Let's just say it is up in the air.
I will let you know ... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1349921908 | 1349972820 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | [deleted]: TIFU by offering my seat to a pregnant lady on the subway. She wasn't pregnant.
CherrySlurpee: Was it at least a lady?
Because if so, I've made a worse mistake.
catcradle5: Please go on, good sir.
CherrySlurpee: There really isn't too much to the story. Asked a fat guy when he was due.
I didn't get the ... | 7 | 25.285714 | |
1349931074 | 1349955019 | null | t5_2to41 | 245 | psqhcf: Last night, actually-- I slept with a recently-hired co-worker on the way to her welcome party.
[deleted]: sounds pretty awesome to me
psqhcf: Yeah, but: co-worker.
And I don't know what her expectation is, anything.
It would not be good for us if this got out.
Ghost17088: Why? Its not like you're her boss... | 9 | 27.222222 | |
1349936045 | 1349973045 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Mister-Drinky-Pants: TIFU and Got Fired. Fer Reals.
I was put through an absurd amount of drama by my direct supervisor at work for over a week; at the end i cracked and got mad at my crew lead for some very real reasons. I was immediately summoned to a meeting with some higher ups about it. I was warned they would rec... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1349929040 | 1349994995 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | sheepy7: TIFU by sticking a screwdriver into the valve of what I thought was an empty keg.
A few weekends ago my buddy and I drunkenly "borrowed" two "empty" pony kegs from a bar. After having them sit for awhile I decided to turn them into weights for an adventure run I'm training for. My dumbass thought it would be a... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1349954718 | 1349999231 | null | t5_2to41 | 496 | psqhcf: TIFU--last night, actually--and slept with a recently-hired co-worker on the way to her welcome party.
**TIFU and didn't read the rules before posting, so this is a repost with a fixed title.**
**Edit: The "fuck up" is that co-workers are off-limits if you don't want problems for yourself at work.**
A little... | 8 | 62 | |
1349962601 | 1349964477 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU yesterday by doing something to my dick and pissing blood the rest of the day
I dunno what I did, but I pissed blood several times yesterday. Luckily it stopped, but my dick still hurts. Wasn't remotely as funny as my last two fuckups. Scared the hell out of me.
Hashrick: Dude get it checked ASAP pissi... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1349977284 | 1350067712 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a joke on Tumblr and ruining the beginnings of a relationship.
So I've been...er, I guess had been seeing this guy for a while. Pretty cool, things going well. I had been keeping it somewhat casual though I was (and still am) really into the guy. We go out dancing, he seems a bit pre-occupied.... | 14 | 3.214286 | |
1349983100 | 1350081618 | null | t5_2to41 | 529 | laz303: TIFU by trying to kill our pets..
The cats brought fleas into the house, so everybody has been itching for a little while... Finally got a day when the wife and kids were going to be out of the house for a few hours so I could use the flea bombs we got.. set them off on the 1st and 2nd floor and am in the pr... | 9 | 58.777778 | |
1349987227 | 1350178102 | null | t5_2to41 | 87 | Quacky_McFuckface: TIFU by whining about the professor
I must take an upper-level English lit class for my degree. English is not my forte.
The professor has a tendency to mumble a lot and not make any sense. One class, I was pretty bored, so I decided to type out everything he said word for word. Here is a sample: "U... | 9 | 9.666667 | |
1349997454 | 1350084013 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | zeldrak: TIFU by leaving the house door open.
This happened a couple of hours ago, and i'm still a bit nervous about all this. I'm what most would consider a hardcore gamer, and as most people into this, they usually cherish and collect their favorite games and such.
Today I skipped work because i woke up feeling like... | 7 | 13.285714 | |
1350009845 | 1350032426 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | Greengirl15: TIFU-by saying yes to my ex boyfriend's friend.
Soooo, my ex and i broke up weeks ago, he has moved on and found a new person to try to date and i have not talked to him in a week. I moved on by this point. His friend asked me out and i liked him and we started to act like a couple lately, so i said yes. ... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1350065715 | 1351471080 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,244 | ikma: TIFU and wiped my own shit on my face/lips.
**Backstory**
I have had a chest cold for a week, and have been coughing up big green gobs of flem. Last night, I drank far too much (I'm a [Pittsburgh Steelers](http://espn.go.com/blog/afcnorth/post/_/id/56584/rapid-reaction-steelers-titans) fan), and as a result I am... | 10 | 324.4 | |
1350068056 | 1350425219 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | 1102throwaway: TIFU - well yesterday night. Awkwardness with a co-worker? Felt out of this world weird. Am I just clueless?
So I work in a restaurant and was closing late with a co-worker. Asked her if she wanted to get something to drink after work. It was around 1 AM at this point, and she said sure why not. I heard ... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1350073372 | 1350133564 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | forgotmyfuckingname: TIFU by expressing my opinion.
*Backstory:* I live in an area where post-secondary schools breed like rabbits. There are seminaries, technical/"regular" colleges, universities, "high learning" institutes (high schools you pay/apply for), and regular high school. The one university is jokingly/lovin... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1350095707 | 1350235421 | t3_11e4vo | t5_2to41 | 17 | Majorfuckup: yeah I could try to get rid of the smell and say it was water? telling the dude it dropped in the toilet still wouldn't sound that great haha.. Thanks for the advice!
Moongrazer: You had all the clues... but failed to use them.
Say it with me now:
"My cat pissed on my laptop"
Majorfuckup: I can tell the ... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1350113644 | 1350191733 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a cockroach run on my private areas...
So its about 1 in the morning, I was fapping while watching porn on my phone and then it all went to hell, if you have ever been to or lived in Hawaii you would know the cockroaches here are huge! Seriously google it! And apparently it enjoyed my phone, i... | 5 | 14.2 | |
1350103329 | 1350142623 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | Acthinian: Tifu... Sent the email to the wrong person
I work in a sales situation where I am a contractor working for a hotel special events department. They sell the rooms and I sell services in the rooms, specifically AV services. We have had a pain in the ass client who likes to Use all caps to express her concern... | 3 | 11 | |
1350139741 | 1350197647 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,904 | [deleted]: TIFU I met a girl and cummed all over her face, after asking her full name I realized she was my cousin
We've litterally met only 2 or three times in christmas parties when we were like 6 years old now im 30. We "met" in a party and shared a couple of drinks never realizing we already knew each other. A coup... | 11 | 173.090909 | |
1350146429 | 1350430688 | null | t5_2to41 | 94 | novanerd: TIFU and beat up a guy at my high school football game
So yesterday was my homecoming game at my high school, it was the game of the week for the area. I went there to hang out with some people I know, including this girl that I know and that I've been crushing on for a while. We're all hanging out near the s... | 7 | 13.428571 | |
1350140761 | 1350163145 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | tdesparza: TIFU by drinking and driving through my neighbors fence/totaling my car and getting a DUI
Went out for dinner and some drinks with some friends, had no intention of driving home or leaving the area but drunk me had different plans. Almost made it home until I took the corner to my house to fast and hit my n... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1350158394 | 1350266797 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | Chester_Snapdragon: TIFU by drinking from my brother-in-law's chew bottle
So I was in the car with my brother-in-law and we were about to go pick up my sister from work. I had a bottle of tea and he had a bottle he was using to spit his tabbacco into. The cup holders in their car are broken so we just set by ourselves.... | 5 | 11.6 | |
1350115353 | 1350268711 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | thehalfstyle: TIFU by drinking alot without eating...at all
DQEight: gonna need a better explanation...
thehalfstyle: I woke up later than expected, missed breakfast. Had meetings all day, skipped lunch. Then I met up with my favorite bartender at one of my favorite bars, and proceeded to get SMASHED. Little did I rea... | 3 | 1 | |
1350186984 | 1350228978 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | dkaeone: TIFU and had sloppy drunk sex and popped an eardrum.
So I was hooking up with a girl I had very recently met via a friend, we were both WASTED, and things were gettin pretty hot n heavy, when she asked "can I slap you?"
Figuring that it wouldn't be TOO bad, I said "Sure" and she slapped me lightly, and it di... | 4 | 21.5 | |
1350193784 | 1350225709 | null | t5_2to41 | 195 | [deleted]: TIFU: left neighbors dead cat in amazon.com box
Ever wish you had done something differently?
I was watching a cat for a really nice old couple, which amounts to putting out food and water once a day. Today I found the cat dead on the side of the road, so I picked it up with a towel and put the wrapped up ... | 4 | 48.75 | |
1350210252 | 1350275864 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | MilkShip: TIFU by smoking my first cigar, inhaling the smoke and almost throwing up.
One of my friends was like, "you're not meant to inhale the smoke". Oops.
thetoastmonster: TIL I really don't understand smoking, at all.
Kozimix: Cigars are smoked for the flavour. This flavour is appreciated both through the smoke an... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1350218828 | 1350322806 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,121 | mlg131: TIFU by sticking it in the wrong hole
Just two weeks after first watching the parody video of the same topic I suffered the same fate myself, but with very different consequences.
Im in Asia at the moment, travelling alone. I went to a bar last night and after a few beers ended up talking to an american girl. ... | 19 | 59 | |
1350233564 | 1350291976 | null | t5_2to41 | 243 | Ronry: TIFU By not clearing my Phone's Search History before Church (possibly NSFW)
Last night and the other day, I was looking up porn on my phone. Usually, I'm the only one that uses my phone, so I tend to neglect the "clear history" button. Today I didn't want to go to church because I strongly oppose their anti-lgb... | 11 | 22.090909 | |
1350242740 | 1350243420 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: NO MORE FELIX POST's
ENOUGH ALREADY!
Naphthos: you don't need the apostrophe.
[deleted]: yea i noticed that after the post. habit.
Naphthos: I grambushed you. Sorry.
[deleted]: no worries, it sticks out like a sore thumb
| 5 | 0.4 | |
1350234428 | 1350502183 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | failsandfacepalms: TIFU by using a super hold glue stick as lip stick.
I was babysitting my younger siblings today while they were doing crafts. I had to get ready to go to dinner really fast so I grabbed what I thought was lipstick. Not looking, I smother it all over my lips. When I tried rubbing my lips together, the... | 12 | 4.416667 | |
1350227534 | 1350323491 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | soviet1924: TIFU by dropping my laptop
Shattered the LCD. $50 screen has already been ordered, but that's money I don't have. And I also have to install the thing in my dorm room. All because I have butterfingers and it slipped out of my hands.
[deleted]: Look up youtube videos of replacing the LCD on your exact model ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1350260243 | 1350305105 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | failsandfacepalms: TIFU by telling myself I just need a break from homework and then going on reddit...
I was bored and I didn't want to type my paper anymore so I took a "little" break on reddit. I think the rest is pretty self explanatory...
rmm45177: Same here, that is why I'm up at 5 in the morning.
And I'm back... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1350286409 | 1350428995 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | painsinbut: TIFU after going on a walk
So tonight I was in an emotionally unstable state after being away from home for a few weeks without being able to contact my family due to the fact i lost my phone charger. So it is about midnight or so, and I decided that I would go for a walk around my college campus for a bit... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1350299158 | 1350350993 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | matty22mlw: TIFU...Dropped my brand new phone in the loo
So id had this old blackberry for ages, finally got an upgrade, got that new Samsung galaxy phone, really nice phone. As usual i was late to meet a mate at the gym, and rushed out with all my stuff....
So i finally get there, bottle, phone, keys, iPod etc in my ... | 7 | 16.428571 | |
1350318771 | 1350321340 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by creep shooting my hot classmate.
My classmate have the hottest ass I have ever seen. Every time I think about her ass the only thing I can do is rubbing my dick, imagining that my cock comes inside her butt. So I have decided to take a pic of her ass to fap to. And It was fine, until a day when I hav... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1350319330 | 1350321044 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | theaggressivenapkin: TIFU by flashing a couple female tourists a dick pic on my phone.
I was walking toward Michigan Ave in Chicago to check out the recently opened Nike store, when two attractive asian girls approached me asking where LaSalle street was. Having not lived here long, I opened my phone to search for the ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1350322936 | 1350325361 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | swan-ronson: TIFU by accidentally sending a sort of embarrassing text.
ashishkum: so..u you asked the guy out but he didnt say anything?
swan-ronson: he said nothing... and he's with me (I'm at school now) acting normal. I don't know whats going on if he didn't see it or what.
ashishkum: either he is dumb or he is too... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1350322792 | 1350340984 | null | t5_2to41 | 978 | Dammitlemon: TIFU by splashing a Baby with hot coffee at work and "laughing" about it.
So I work at a diner as a busser/hostess and I have a nervous smile when things go wrong at work because I have no clue how to react. Anyways a large table of about 10 people came in, they had a baby and sat it on one end of the tabl... | 12 | 81.5 | |
1350339902 | 1350884346 | null | t5_2to41 | 134 | Quick11: TIFU by dropping my iPhone in the toilet while trying to take a picture of my poop
Yeah I guess that's what I get for trying to text pictures of my poop to my Roomate. I had to use BBQ tongs to get it out.
blueskin: There are two "phone in toilet" posts on the same page ಠ\_ಠ
Is it really ... | 15 | 8.933333 | |
1350351178 | 1350889446 | null | t5_2to41 | 242 | kristafer825: TIFU by lighting myself on fire... Twice.
I wanted to have some relaxing lady times in a nice warm bath. So I light some candles, throw on some music and get the water running. I step in to test the temperature, when I feel myself start to slip in the bathtub. Shit i'm clumsy. Well as I'm reaching down to... | 6 | 40.333333 | |
1350351394 | 1350435949 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking around with a strip of toilet paper tucked into my waistband like it was a tail.
I did my usual morning routine at school in the morning... when to my horror I discovered this piece of TP just hanging in my waistband. This was several hours later towards the end of school. Nobody saw it, or t... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1350342761 | 1350498556 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | ConstableOdo: TIFU by typing my password incorrectly twice.
So I was changing my password today to (accurate representation but not the actual password) 8pTJgQuA... That's all well and good. It is something I can remember because the real password means something.
So I was in a hurry. I was typing fast because I had ... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1350413071 | 1350426234 | null | t5_2to41 | 183 | OM617: TIFU by getting arrested for drunk driving, and I wasn't even the one driving
So I was having a typical night out at the bar with some friends when we noticed the time and decided to hit the store before 2am. Due to some brilliant feat of ingenuity (read: duct tape), my friend's car happened to have a rear view ... | 12 | 15.25 | |
1350422877 | 1350484786 | null | t5_2to41 | 268 | IAMTHEBATMAN123: TIFU.... By not wanting to litter.
So...I'm on the train and it's waiting at the station for a bit longer than usual. The driver comes on the intercom and says the train ahead of us is disabled, but we should be up and running in about five minutes. I decide to throw my Pepsi can in the trash can on ... | 8 | 33.5 | |
1350423838 | 1350455898 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu by forgetting headphones at a Hotel.
Well it really wasn't today but two days ago is when I forgot my 300$, custom colored, birthday gift from mom, best headphones I've ever had at a hotel.
I bet wondering "why don't you just call the hotel and have them send it to?" or something. But the housekeeper ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1350427571 | 1351399327 | null | t5_2to41 | 204 | Rdelune: TIFU by boiling a ham for hours then roasting it w/ honey and cloves...only to realise it was beef
No, it didnt taste nice. Left it out for the night though and my drunken housemates ate it, thank god....
[deleted]: How did you manage that? to confuse the two meats I mean.
Rdelune: basically my dad gave me som... | 4 | 51 | |
1350433889 | 1350485185 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | EpicSchwinn: TIFU by not checking my bank account sooner and now owing the bank a couple hundred bucks.
I have a bad problem where I tend to wish away my money problems by swiping the card and hoping for the best. That fucked me up big time, because I'm now overdrafted $400 on my checking account.
I get paid Thursday ... | 5 | 13.4 | |
1350453629 | 1350497263 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Woof_tex: TIFU by possibly giving my 9yo Niece my sexytimes handcuffs
So these are serious handcuffs, not porn shop furry crap. My Niece and I watch Penn and Teller and other escape/magic acts. I sent her a package of silly/fun magic tricks and misc. goofy crap. An hour or so ago I realized I may have included in this ... | 5 | 6 | |
1350463038 | 1350552217 | null | t5_2to41 | 433 | crackpnt69: TIFU and gave myself a facial (x/post from r/funny)
Worst masturbation experience of my life. I go to start the sexy time with Palm-ula when I get this great idea mid stroke. I spit on my own dick. What THE FUCK was I thinking. So much shame... I should have quit there while I was ahead. Right past the poin... | 17 | 25.470588 | |
1350481967 | 1350561444 | null | t5_2to41 | 439 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking Miracle Grow
My roommate apparently mixed some Miracle Grow in a gallon water jug and I needed a drink of water after mowing my lawn. I chose the wrong jug. I'm gonna go try and throw up now. If I don't make it, it's been real, folks.
[deleted]: Hey guys, I'm alive. Drank a ton of water and... | 10 | 43.9 | |
1350479283 | 1350603504 | null | t5_2to41 | 321 | SuperNinKenDo: TIFU and cockblocked a mate.
Had a shit of a day, but headed to the pub with some mates to lift my spirits. Darren was there, a mate I really like. Great guy, bit sensitive and shouty, and a bit of a misfit. He was rather flirtatious and I reckon he had it in the bag with this rather saucy Maori chick fr... | 8 | 40.125 | |
1350483747 | 1350527390 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Tammy_Tangerine: TIFU... when I lost work because I didn't feel comfortable driving a van in NYC.
I live in NYC.
I've been trying to get production work. Just simple production assistant stuff. My friends' landlord is some sort of producer, so she gave him my resume about two months ago. She asks me on Sunday night if... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1350483479 | 1350511207 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | cchorto: TIFU by causing my friend to staple two fingers together.
We were chilling between classes in our room. Standard talking, and I noticed my friend was playing with his stapler. He ended up going to the washroom. At this point I looked at the stapler and realized I forgot to staple my assignment.
I grabbed his... | 4 | 16.75 |
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