start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1405479486 | 1405485355 | t3_2atpkj | t5_2to41 | 169 | the_shoe_fucker: TIFU by slapping my physician while holding a vaccine shot
This happened about 2 years ago and i'm posting this now since i just found this subreddit.
It was a Saturday morning and i had an appointment with a new physician my mom was trying out so *this was the first time we ever came here*. So at abo... | 3 | 56.333333 | |
1405482005 | 1405548131 | t3_2attee | t5_2to41 | 239 | mustash_cash_stash: TIFU by not changing the amazon password after breaking up with my girlfriend
If you click the link below you will the result of my fuckup...
http://imgur.com/DRIiu76
Edit: btw I'm getting progressively more drunk as I answer these.
idkwhat2: I actually really think you should get back together ... | 24 | 9.958333 | |
1405484954 | 1405549888 | t3_2atxsc | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by pretending to be a retard.
Ok so first off this happened in second grade and I thought this would be the best subreddit to post my story to. Anyways in second grade I had to take a test and I thought it would be funny to get everything wrong. On the reading part of the test I was reading slow and sai... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1405484050 | 1405516402 | t3_2atwir | t5_2to41 | 13 | nerdunderwraps: TIFU by cuming to loudly
I spend a fair amount of time at my SO's house, and we like to get it on when we can. So we're goin at it, it's been 2 days since we've seen eachother so I'm pretty excited and I start moaning into the covers. We finish, and my SO goes to the kitchen to get some water, at which ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1405474617 | 1405516799 | t3_2athq0 | t5_2to41 | 21 | mcdtifu: TIFU By causing a mentally challenged person to freak the f%ck out.
This happened a number of years ago when I was in middle school. Remember the Monopoly game at McDonald’s? I don’t know if this still happens as I haven’t been there in years.
I realized that I could get extra game pieces by poking a hole ... | 3 | 7 | |
1405485233 | 1405584363 | t3_2aty67 | t5_2to41 | 6 | oh-god-the-smell: TIFU by almost destroying my new bathroom NSFW
ZeeyardSA: EISH
oh-god-the-smell: i think you mean PUSH
ZeeyardSA: Nope Eish!!!
Im south African Bru
Used in South African English and Afrikaans to express exasperation or disbelief. The word was first transliterated from the Xhosa language to Afrikaans... | 6 | 1 | |
1405493652 | 1405521026 | t3_2au7we | t5_2to41 | 95 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my asshole
This happened just a few minutes ago. The area around my asshole was getting quite wild so I decided I needed a shave. I don't usually shave there so I had no idea what I was doing. Next thing I know there's quite a lot of blood but it was only a flesh wound so I thought nothing... | 5 | 19 | |
1405494538 | 1405579029 | t3_2au8sa | t5_2to41 | 1,109 | elijahssenpai: TIFU by having sex with a psychopath
Well here goes. This all started less than two weeks ago but today I realized I fucked up. I'm a 22 year old male and shes 37. We met through a new friend of mine and started talking. That lasted almost a week. Then 5 days ago we had sex..... within 2 days shes saying... | 12 | 92.416667 | |
1405493228 | 1405534915 | t3_2au7gf | t5_2to41 | 1,272 | dopertoper: TIFU by watching porn on my 60"
*TIFU*, well; it was more a contribution of various fuck-ups from the past week.
Anyways: About a week ago I went to go lay out in my backyard to try to get some Vitamin D and a little tan. I turn pandora on on my blueray player inside (set it to some CTE radio!), and tweak t... | 16 | 79.5 | |
1405495239 | 1405503104 | t3_2au9fc | t5_2to41 | 48 | Its_Barry: TIFU...Tasted customers Breast Milk (By Accident)
Back story: I work for a small expediting company, I handle a lot of the loading and unloading aspect of things, a customer showed up super late in the day (we were expecting her but a lot earlier) while my partner was on a run and I needed to get the vehicle... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1405497075 | 1405538625 | t3_2aub1w | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by being too high to order food
So this morning, I had a shitty day at work. I work at a burger restaurant, and I spilled the grease trap all over the floor and myself. One of my friends who I work with, we'll call him Lee, helped me clean up the huge mess, so we got off work about an hour after we were... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1405502491 | 1405535480 | t3_2aufdb | t5_2to41 | 17 | MKimmmayyy: TIFU by peeing in a bottle in the middle of a traffic jam in the middle of the highway
A couple of years ago, I fucked up. My grandparents, my cousin, my sister and I were coming back from a trip and we ended up on the highway. I was desperately needing to pee so fucking bad that my balls were aching from t... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1405507880 | 1405526820 | t3_2auh1n | t5_2to41 | 31 | worldwidechoppers: He has an infinite source of water in the creek and we leave him outside all the time, he cries to go outside often.
Seriously though, go fuck yourself.
Eat_The_Muffin: Prioritise your life
Life of family > Sitting in a dark room
Pechkin99: Cat > Sitting in a dark room > Life of family
Eat... | 9 | 3.444444 | |
1405506696 | 1405514310 | t3_2auiyj | t5_2to41 | 41 | LJW1: TIFU by offending the lady at the petrol station.
A couple of weeks ago I was in my local petrol station to fill my car up. As I approach the till to pay, the lady serving asks someone behind me if they are having a nice day. I presumed it was someone in the shop that she personally knew, never in my life has som... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1405512626 | 1405608616 | t3_2auoj5 | t5_2to41 | 139 | Xilenced: TIFU by driving slower in front of a tailgating SUV
I was driving up a hill near my apartment and had an SUV nearly touching my rear bumper, apparently displeased with the fact I was doing 40 in a 35. I slowed to 30, he tried to cross the double yellows, but couldn't because of incoming traffic. I got back up... | 9 | 15.444444 | |
1405512581 | 1405539819 | t3_2auoh7 | t5_2to41 | 28 | MarkGruffallo: TIFU By farting in the airport carpark
This probably happened on Monday or Tuesday, but I'm jet lagged so it might as well have happened today.
Let me preface this with the fact that I suffer from IBS that is aggravated by stress, I get super stressed out on flights and I had just flown into London from... | 4 | 7 | |
1405514417 | 1405543685 | t3_2auqje | t5_2to41 | 516 | Oriyagi: TIFU By making myself out to be a stalker
This happened a few years ago but the "craziest small world" post on askreddit reminded me. Since I was late, I'm posting here.
In my senior year of high school I was talking to some girl who lived a town over(but went to my high school) on OKCUPID. We had been chatt... | 8 | 64.5 | |
1405466741 | 1405529354 | t3_2at51y | t5_2to41 | 14 | weedkeeper: TIFU by accidentally paying my co worker with weed
I work at a golf course. I also like to get stoned. Every morning I empty trash bins and refill water jugs on our Par 3. One of the tees is obscured by surrounding trees and faces down a massive hill into lush fairway and pristine green. It's really a sight... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1405512977 | 1405683228 | t3_2auowz | t5_2to41 | 2,385 | ginger_binge: TIFU by accidentally red-winging myself (NSFW)
I’ve been on Implanon as a form of birth control for nearly two years now. The first year, everything came up daisies, but the second has been disastrous. A large part of why I’ve used hormonal birth control in some form for over a decade is because I despise... | 22 | 108.409091 | |
1405516491 | 1405516878 | t3_2ausz2 | t5_2to41 | 14 | Futuramafryday: TIFU by ruining my mom's wedding
So a lot of you guys enjoyed my story about being a shitty son yesterday, so I figure I'll give you guys another fuck up of mine. This happened when I was about 10, but I remember it pretty well, I did almost lose a finger, but I'll get to that later.
So, mom's wedding... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1405512680 | 1405538189 | t3_2auokv | t5_2to41 | 262 | alecd93: TIFU by simply not checking my surroundings...
I'm currently working a 6 am shift. No less than 30 seconds ago, I forced a boisterously sopping excretion of gas from... well... my ass... I had no shame whatsoever and was going to continue listening to Brahms and scrolling through reddit... that was until I hea... | 7 | 37.428571 | |
1405518433 | 1405563560 | t3_2auvlf | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting my breathalyzer extended in my car for 6 months.
I'm writing from an iPhone so be patient with spelling, and grammar, ect.
In 2011, I was convicted of DUI in Arizona. I had a whole but of court ordered requirements to complete in a certain amount of time, which I thought I completed. We'l... | 7 | 3 | |
1405517153 | 1405539155 | t3_2autt6 | t5_2to41 | 42 | oreotragus: TIFU by doing the "Night at the Roxbury" head bop.
A few days ago I pulled my left trapezius muscle in my neck. It's been painful to move my head or neck or bend in certain ways so I've been trying to be very careful so I don't hurt it again while I'm recovering.
This morning, I had my Pandora "90's Hits" ... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1405520923 | 1405523221 | t3_2auzan | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: [TIFU] by not peeing before go on a long trip.
Today, I go on a 9 hours bus to go on a vacation. Right after I leave, I drink quite a big cup of water without thinking anything.
The bus have been going for 1 hour only, but I have already feel the need. What I have to do now?
It is 9h30 pm, and the bus is... | 3 | 3 | |
1405520448 | 1405701316 | t3_2auyj0 | t5_2to41 | 80 | Stealth_Toast: TIFU by not checking the inputs of a mic before speaking
Not so much me as it is my co-worker but nevertheless, a fuck up.
I work for a small tech consulting firm in a major city.. One of our clients is a nursing home. Yesterday, we received a ticket to set up a projector and laptop for a documentary th... | 4 | 20 | |
1405521763 | 1405532229 | t3_2av0na | t5_2to41 | 94 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting on my corset
So I recently decided I wanted to buy a corset, because why the fuck not? They make you look good, they're supposed to be good for your posture, and the one I liked was on sale. Anyway, I did some research and found out you're supposed to wear them for a couple of hours per day f... | 5 | 18.8 | |
1405513791 | 1405534510 | t3_2aupu4 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by grabbing a steam pipe
So a few years ago I had a summer lab that we had to take in order to graduate with an engineering degree. On this particular day we had to do experiments using a humidification system. Underneath the humidifier was a set of pipes and a tank. We had to measure the flow rate b... | 4 | 2 | |
1405525540 | 1405550105 | t3_2av6zn | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my ass crack
This happened about 6 years ago, but still haunts me to this day...
So, everyone once in a while I shave my ass crack. Why? Because it's really hairy and wiping becomes a chore. Seriously, how is having a brillo pad between my cheeks evolutionarily advantageous? Anyway, I sha... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1405526443 | 1405548245 | t3_2av8hh | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking on antidepressants.
Back story: I'm on antidepressants and don't often drink. There's a reason they tell you not to drink on them. You get weird.
The night started with my friends and I deciding to turn it up. I head to the liquor store and get booze and we start taking shots and cracking b... | 3 | 4 | |
1405528261 | 1405534130 | t3_2avboo | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing cancer
I'm a master's student in medical biochemistry, currently doing a summer internship at a research laboratory. My job is to investigate genetic aberrations in a rare (1 case/million people/year) form of tumor. The material we work with is a unique biobank of tumor tissue harvested by sur... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1405528116 | 1405541467 | t3_2avbev | t5_2to41 | 32 | MrOxfordComma: TIFU by talking Spanish.
So yesterday my friends and I were chilling at a my friend’s place. We were watching TV in the living room when my friend’s roommate entered with his girlfriend and another female friend we had never seen before. My friends and I are Colombian-German. We went together to the Germ... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1405531653 | 1405543661 | t3_2avhs3 | t5_2to41 | 32 | keepitsecretyo: TIFU by cutting my penis
So this was 2 days ago, but the consequences are still there.
So this girl I have been seeing casually likes it rough. I am cool with that, we are very open with each other and our communication is great, so I am down for whatever. She said she wanted to be throat fucked. I to... | 4 | 8 | |
1405532634 | 1405571624 | t3_2avjmw | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by throwing my water at the gym
Short and sweet one for you:
Yesterday I fucked up at the gym. I was walking from one machine across the gym to another, trying to be super cool casual workout guy, and I underhand tossed my water bottle a few feet ahead of me so it would land at the base of the machine ... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1405528587 | 1405581280 | t3_2avc82 | t5_2to41 | 276 | shirtythebear: TIFU by getting walked in on masturbating
2 weeks ago my wife and I moved into a new house. It's awesome, but been heaps of hard work moving in; organising tradesmen, painting rooms, getting new hot water systems, you get the idea. On top of that my wife's grandma has been visiting the last couple of day... | 9 | 30.666667 | |
1405535313 | 1405558710 | t3_2avoyx | t5_2to41 | 10 | Knights_of_Napier: TIFU by being racist
I had an important meeting where I was to meet with some clients and plain the deployment of our software management system on their network. I walk into the meeting and am introduced to two men, one is black. While the introductions are being made my boss says "Knights_of_Napier... | 5 | 2 | |
1405534965 | 1405570526 | t3_2avoa5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by cracking my boomstick
This wasn't actually from today, but actually from a couple days ago but it still scared the fuck out of me.
So I was doing my thing, edging repeatedly so I could have an orgasm that even Zeus would get shocked by. I was nearing the finish of this great achievement, when I want... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1405535512 | 1405608463 | t3_2avpe6 | t5_2to41 | 33 | TananananananaBatman: TIFU By not asking her number
Ok this was not today but close. So last week I went to Spain to join my family on their vacation for a couple of days. I am busy with work so I joined later and went back earlier. Anyway, my vacation was over and I asked the hotel receptionist to call me a cab to dri... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1405537915 | 1405577396 | t3_2avtww | t5_2to41 | 23 | throwaway7311222: TIFU by jacking it with shampoo as lube
It was a lonely day, and I decided I wanted to choke the chicken while I had the time. But, this time, I wanted to mix things up. I grabbed some shampoo, applied to penile region, rubbed it in, and jacked it. It was nice.
At the time.
The next day, I find that... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1405539314 | 1405549753 | t3_2avwh3 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting about my diarreah
bodom2245:
Hi pinkcollareddog, thank you for submitting to /r/tifu.
Unfortunately your submission TIFU by forgetting about my diarreah has been removed because it violates our rule about posts centring around deification.
We apologize for the inconvenience, if you feel... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1405539986 | 1405541746 | t3_2avxt4 | t5_2to41 | 19 | DoucheBro72: TIFU Or did I? Douche Brother
A little background first. I have a younger brother (2yrs) that is the GOLDEN CHILD according to my parents. This guy is a true piece of work by any standard. Stay at home child while running a semi successful business until the age of 33 with his live-in girlfriend. New truck... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1405540196 | 1405542503 | t3_2avy80 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Bordercontrolfuckup: TIFU by forgetting I had my dog in my trunk
[deleted]: You couldn't just turn around and call someone for help? Putting the dog down seems a bit extreme to just accept so easily...
I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH: Yeah, is there no option "Uh... give me a second to call someone to bring the papers..."
| 3 | 1 | |
1405540777 | 1405541880 | t3_2avzbt | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by not checking toilet paper availability.
Had to use a throwaway as my colleague knows my reddit account... but here goes.
I have spent the whole week working on a presentation for an extremely lucrative contract. After a frantic 2.5 hours of travelling and making final adjustments, we got to the ven... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1405543047 | 1405695563 | t3_2aw3p7 | t5_2to41 | 67 | driedjizzhelppls: TIFU by being a horny 12 year old.
I'm not 12 now.
When I was 12, I jerked off. A lot. The thing is, when I came, I just let it fly. All under my desk. The desk is attached to my bed, which is above it. I used to have a bunk bed, but I removed the bottom one.
The jizz dried. It left stains. Not just... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1405545297 | 1405605433 | t3_2aw7s3 | t5_2to41 | 29 | JonnyZantana: TIFU by asking for my first beer ever at a party
Well not today but I copied this from a journal entry the saterday after highschool ended:
I am officially now a junior in high school as of friday. Last night I celebrated by going to a bon fire party at the beach with my buddy Ronaldo. We swam, played f... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1405549534 | 1405629083 | t3_2awfa4 | t5_2to41 | 1,011 | 1100110x: TIFU by leaving my bedroom window open. nsfw
I haven't been home for more than an hour in the last two weeks because my bathroom is getting remodeled. this morning was the first time I've had the house to myself.
out came the porn.
my bedroom is on the third floor and my bed is low to the ground. super priv... | 13 | 77.769231 | |
1405549115 | 1405554175 | t3_2awekt | t5_2to41 | 12 | SpankMcGankins: TIFU by semi-accidentally taking six bong hits my first time smoking marijuana.
For starters, this was actually yesterday. I found a stash of pot along with a bong in my parents' bedroom (it's technically legal here), and I was home alone so I decided I should try it while I'm here at home, so I don't e... | 4 | 3 | |
1405550390 | 1405629381 | t3_2awgt0 | t5_2to41 | 85 | ___hipsterold: TIFU by telling my daughter's bf to stop playing with himself.
So.. My daughter's bf who is an athletic 6'4 always wears athletics shorts. Apparently this causes his man parts to swing loose ( I guess regular pants are more constrictive so it's not so much if an issue then ??) Subsequently he's always s... | 8 | 10.625 | |
1405551784 | 1405614229 | t3_2awj2l | t5_2to41 | 74 | [deleted]: TIFU by wanking with Colgate (NSFW)
Okay so I just saw another TIFU which reminded me of this said incident.
It happened a few years ago in my early teens. 14 I think.
The day starts about 9 am it's Saturday so everyone's home, I was a teenage boy and a hormonal little sod.
I needed my daily fix of 10 wa... | 7 | 10.571429 | |
1405549134 | 1411101119 | t3_2awem1 | t5_2to41 | 62 | JackTurkeyDinosaur: TIFU by letting a Down's syndrome girl fly a very large RC helicopter into her face in front of her mother.
A while back when I was 15 I was working in retail selling remote control helicopters in a toy store. A woman comes in with her daughter who has Down's syndrome and asks me weather I think her... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1405572620 | 1405594564 | t3_2awis7 | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: Can someone explain the humor in this comment? I'm not getting it.
fatelviss: haha you don't need to know
boopzilla: THAT'S NOT THIS SUB
beeraholikchik: frist of all how **dare** yo u
[deleted]: hi my name is katey holds up spork
themediocrebritain: hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but... | 13 | 2 | |
1405554784 | 1405560605 | t3_2awo0t | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining a $20,000 renovation.
To some this may not seem like a big deal but to me... I really messed up. I am a youth leader at a local church. Our church is undergoing some serious renovations. The current installation that is being worked on is the men's bathroom. I thought it would be spontaneous ... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1405576361 | 1405579640 | t3_2awojb | t5_2to41 | 13 | zomgfruitbunnies: I mean, it ripped again eventually and then healed normally, so I guess there's not that much need for concern.
You'll be fine. Probably.
ThatThingUForgot: You may have just terrified every guy who has ever pushed a load out ever with that statement.
zomgfruitbunnies: If it's any consolation, guy sa... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1405557455 | 1405562169 | t3_2awsbv | t5_2to41 | 8 | daegon: TIFU by throwing away a lifetime supply of tupperware because I moved it in a trash bag.
I just moved into an apartment with a friend, we went to college together and work in similar areas. We spent the evening unpacking the kitchen and sorting through pots and pans. He put several trash bags by the door to go ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1405556683 | 1405585385 | t3_2awr4a | t5_2to41 | 4 | dmdaily: TIFU by yelling at an extreme athelete with Down Syndrome
I am an avid snowboarder and this past winter, me and my girlfriend went to hit the mountain for a little. We got to the mountain and it was PACKED. I mean people were everywhere. I didn't really think anything of it and took the lift to start the day... | 4 | 1 | |
1405559297 | 1405559761 | t3_2awv4p | t5_2to41 | 5 | davydhatesyou: TIFU By Lighting My Hand On Fire
...but at least the tick I was trying to kill is dead.
Second degree burns on my dominant hand. Yay...
TheDulin: How did you make that happen?
MennyC123: Probably a lighter
TheDulin: Ouch.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1405560317 | 1405561903 | t3_2awwqs | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally almost abducting a little girl.
So I was at 7-11 getting some candy to stuff into my stupid face. A black man walked in. It doesn't really matter that he was black, but he was.
I got my candy and I went out to get into my car. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing. ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1405559084 | 1405694487 | t3_2awutl | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by Signing a Lease Too Quickly
A little back history: My family and I don't get along too well, especially since my mom is a little bit on the crazy side which makes it so we don't get along too well. She doesn't approve of my relationship with my boyfriend and makes that extremely known to both me and ... | 5 | 7 | |
1405561533 | 1405614673 | t3_2awyno | t5_2to41 | 1,349 | Vote4PedroWedro: TIFU by sitting on my boyfriends face..
So my boyfriend comes home from work and he's feeling a little frisky.. so we start fooling around, you know, the usual, and we wanted to try a different position and try something new, so he told me to sit on his face and I obliged. It was so amazing and new and... | 14 | 96.357143 | |
1405564077 | 1405564451 | t3_2ax2lk | t5_2to41 | 8 | trampabroad: TIFU by telling someone about Google Translate
I work for an English-language magazine in China. I'm not one of the professional translators, but I pick up the slack sometimes when they're overworked.
The other day I bumped into my boss in the cafeteria. "That translation you did yesterday was absolutely... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1405564707 | 1405579733 | t3_2ax3n1 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking the hood off my BIC lighter. Fortunately my house did not burn down.
Often on BIC lighters I will take the child safety piece off of the spark wheel because that shit is obviously irritating. Well, today the entire hood came off by accident. I have done and seen this done before and just said ... | 3 | 1 | |
1405566390 | 1405582816 | t3_2ax6ak | t5_2to41 | 3 | dalonelystoner: TIFU by putting it in the butt of an obese women on Tinder
So...it's been a while since I have had sex and I was desperate to meet someone. My roommates were gone for the evening seeing a movie and I decided to invite a girl off Tinder over. I was surprised to find out that she was willing to come over ... | 3 | 1 | |
1405567946 | 1405574238 | t3_2ax8r4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | momasmilk: TIFU by forgetting to eat my breakfast.
So today I really fucked up. Told started out like any other day. It's my day off from work and I got to sleep in for the first time in almost a month. Once I'm fully awake I checked my phone and saw that I had a text from a guy that I work with that I've been trying t... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1405568118 | 1405568953 | t3_2ax8zs | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my dad spoilers of House of Cards
HOUSE OF CARDS SPOILERS:
I had just finished watching the episode where Frank had a threesome with his employee and wife. I texted my dad, who I had assumed watched the episode, saying "WHAT THE HOUSE OF THREESOME. Well that was unexpected". No, he had not se... | 3 | 1 | |
1405552826 | 1405616224 | t3_2awkqn | t5_2to41 | 13 | squishypoo91: TIFU by not paying attention before taking a huge bong rip
So today I was out in the garage doin' my thang, about to smoke a small bowl before heading out for my day. I got my bong out of its special place I keep it in the garage and got everything all ready. I have my stupid daily routine of always liste... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1405569044 | 1405611762 | t3_2axabc | t5_2to41 | 17 | regeneratexterminate: TIFU by throwing up on myself while driving
So this actually happened three days ago. After spending four hours at my aunts house doing genealogy research, my uncle came home from work and she invited me to stay for dinner with them. Dinner was great. We had a wonderful spinach and chicken salad w... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1405566884 | 1405577521 | t3_2ax72v | t5_2to41 | 2 | zsmaster23: TIFU By farting accidentally
So I usually help coach little kids in the morning at my high school, and this morning was no different.
I was running around coaching the little 4-8th grade devils when I noticed I had to go poop. Well I can't really just leave and go to the bathroom, so I held it in.
Jum... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1405571914 | 1405809456 | t3_2axecz | t5_2to41 | 55 | gay_squirrel: TIFU by playing gay porn through my tv and stereo
Happened a while ago, post by /u/dopertoper's [post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2au7gf/tifu_by_watching_porn_on_my_60/) gave me the idea to share it.
A couple months ago i was in my room watching a movie on my computer streaming to my Apple TV ... | 8 | 6.875 | |
1405573438 | 1405618420 | t3_2axgck | t5_2to41 | 23 | DLoops77: TIFU by eating Taco Bell while driving
I'll start from this morning. It was a normal day for me. I woke up at around 7:30 as I usually do so I could wake up and get to work on time. I did so, worked my 8 hours, clocked in, clocked out. My coworkers wanted to go out to get something to eat, but I wasn't feelin... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1405573616 | 1405576108 | t3_2axgk9 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Mike9601: TIFU by drinking obviously expired milk lavishly.
So a bit of background story first: Myself and a few friends stayed at a mates house last night and got on the piss. The house owner (let's call him jack) is lactose intolerant so they mostly only have lactose free milk.
After waking up at around 10:40am the... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1405573892 | 1405577336 | t3_2axgwk | t5_2to41 | 23 | chola80: TIFU by trying not to be a 'perv'.
Some things you need to know for this story
So, i work as a tennis coach and this week i help run a holidays clinic( that run in school holiday breaks)that consists of tennis games, barbecues and games est..
The kids always have a blast and its a really fun gig
ages range fr... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1405572975 | 1405596473 | t3_2axfq2 | t5_2to41 | 22 | evounette: TIFU by eating chips
TIFU by eating in the dark... Old chips (3 weeks old without have them kept close). I was eating my chips for about 30 minutes in my bed when i realised there was an ant on my phone.. then I check with my phone the coffee table.. saw an other one.. then I turned on the light.. to saw tha... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1405576807 | 1405664759 | t3_2axkdf | t5_2to41 | 24 | Quziac: TIFU by replying to my mom
So today I was browsing around youtube having a laugh, sifting through my facebook and whatnot, wasting my time as usual. I hear a knock on my door.
It's my mom.
She stares at me and asks, "Quziac. Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?"
I was in completely different world at this t... | 4 | 6 | |
1405575464 | 1405620685 | t3_2axito | t5_2to41 | 6 | Retral-Mega: TIFU by getting lost in the woods.
My friend and I were walking down a trail in the woods to find a good area with high elevation for a project. We find a place after about ten minutes of walking and start to create markers so we'd know how to get there.
We were in the woods near his house. We walked back ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1405578208 | 1405579531 | t3_2axlz8 | t5_2to41 | 6 | throwawayfuckupped: TIFU by wearing only my underwear
ThisIsNotMyTrueForm: And....?
d_meaty: And then I found five dollars...
6romperstomper9: scrunched up in my brothers foreskin so I....
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1405579210 | 1405583307 | t3_2axn2j | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU - Sleeping Naked with an upset stomach
[deleted]: I fail to see how clothing would have helped.
[deleted]: It would have atleast kept it in my underwear.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1405575756 | 1406044116 | t3_2axj67 | t5_2to41 | 232 | Mega_Dunsparce: TIFU By making it look like i was training my little sister to become a member of either the Nazi party or the KKK
So.
I took my 4 year old sister to KFC today as i'd promised her over the weekend, and we ordered our food and began to try and find a place to sit.... | 7 | 33.142857 | |
1405583501 | 1405584060 | t3_2axr61 | t5_2to41 | 17 | oopswrongnumber: TIFU by inviting my friend's mom to a drinking competition
Was putting together a thing called a 'vice race', and texted my friend Lucy about it (Vice race - two teams of 5, each team has 30 beers, 1 bottle of wine, 5 shots of vodka and a large pizza. SSB style - Race to the finish). Lucy doesn't reall... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1405580901 | 1406200702 | t3_2axord | t5_2to41 | 3 | SecretlyGimli: TIFU by not using soap to wash my hands.
So tonight my dad was a little drunk and didn't have reading glasses with him and he wanted some hot saude for his cheetos.
So I got some mild Èl Pato sauce and then I added a little bit of habenaro sauce to it.
I spilt a little on my hands and thought "... | 3 | 1 | |
1405586921 | 1405753013 | t3_2axu12 | t5_2to41 | 54 | sandrahj: TIFU by letting my dad see my sex tape
Big fuckup. I recorded a sex tape of me having a threesome with two guys a while back. It was saved on my computer. I hid it among a huge bunch of other videos and pictures.
And then I let my dad have my laptop to look at some vacation pictures. Turns out he came acros... | 6 | 9 | |
1405620169 | 1405627503 | t3_2axwtr | t5_2to41 | -7 | i_pk_pjers_i: That's retarded. I'm sorry, but it really is. If you are actually American, you need to know this Benjamin Franklin quote: "Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."
Edit: I was referring to your statement of "Maybe I like it when the N... | 4 | -1.75 | |
1405585892 | 1405670867 | t3_2axt7g | t5_2to41 | 617 | pshjmills: TIFU by putting my school into lockdown
So this actually happened about five years ago when I was a senior in high school. We played this game senior year dubbed "Senior Assassins". Basically, a team of three was assigned another team to "kill", you had to kill them with Nerf products and it couldn't be in t... | 9 | 68.555556 | |
1405592721 | 1405602524 | t3_2axyvs | t5_2to41 | 13 | TheForceOfKevquan: TIFU by yelling at a homeless man
My friends and I were having a good laugh and joking around when we stepped of the city bus at our stop. We stopped for a second to get our stuff together and I was suddenly hit by this horrid smell of feces, BO, and pee. So jokingly, I yelled out: "Aww! What is that... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1405595623 | 1405634643 | t3_2ay1eq | t5_2to41 | 25 | shitdranker: TIFU by drinking fish poop. (NSFL)
For the sake of accuracy, this event happened about 8 years ago. I’m a longtime TIFU lurker but today I remembered an event worthy of a post. I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize I should post this story. Probably blocked the memory out so that I could eat lunc... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1405597362 | 1405613225 | t3_2ay30o | t5_2to41 | 41 | LuckyCharmmms: TIFU by turning my back into bubble wrap.
So about a week ago I was out pressure washing a friends pool deck in the absolutely brutal heat. I'm a pretty pale so I thought, "hey I might as well take my shirt off and get a tan!" Well, I ended up absolutely frying my back to the point that I look like hell-... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1405597565 | 1405696458 | t3_2ay37m | t5_2to41 | 570 | srslyfukdatguy: TIFU by reconnecting with an old "friend" from college
Long time lurker, not today, yada yada.
Some friends of mine have a gaming group that meets every couple of weeks, and about a year ago had a spot open up so I was invited to join. One of the guys in the group was the same major as me in college, a... | 8 | 71.25 | |
1405602221 | 1405618051 | t3_2ay88x | t5_2to41 | 36 | hibc152: TIFU by accidentally doing the cinnamon challenge
In my youth my mother always used to make me cinnamon toast for breakfast. So I was feeling nostalgic and thought to myself "Hey why don't I make myself some good ol' toast!". Little did I know that you are not supposed to dump cinnamon over the toast like you ... | 4 | 9 | |
1405602637 | 1405749010 | t3_2ay8qt | t5_2to41 | 3,759 | lizardking91: TIFU by having sex on the beach
Long one, but good I promise.
This technically happened about a year ago now.
So I'm a 21 year old male in Thailand with my girlfriend over the University break. I had been in the region for 3 weeks now (traveling over all Southeast Asia), and I was desperate to do the f... | 18 | 208.833333 | |
1405606205 | 1405681640 | t3_2aydt1 | t5_2to41 | 108 | [deleted]: TIFU by assaulting a homeless man
This morning, on the way to dropping my 9 year old daughter off at camp, we stopped at a local gas station/convenience store because she wanted gum. I parked right up front and ran inside, leaving her in the passenger seat. On my way out, I held the door for a (I believe) ... | 8 | 13.5 | |
1405607862 | 1405691456 | t3_2aygbu | t5_2to41 | 122 | [deleted]: TIFU by bringing a crazy girl home drunk and using my mothers bed, to wake up to an absolute bloodbath.
TIFU,
Backstory so I have a tendency of going a little overboard when I get together with friends for drinks. I have lost things before and done stupid shit due to my drunk ness but nothing absolutely reg... | 6 | 20.333333 | |
1405609168 | 1405665987 | t3_2ayiex | t5_2to41 | 3 | MorbidlyObeseFeline: TIFU by screenshotting a Snapchat
So I'm pretty new to Snapchat and I was conversing with this girl I've liked for some time now. She sent me an attractive pictute , so I decided to screenshot it, because why the hell not. Only thing is, I didn't know that it sends a message to the sender of the or... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1405612190 | 1405653040 | t3_2aynrj | t5_2to41 | 93 | Huttbert: TIFU by eating a Quesarito
So this story began on Monday, when I decided eating a Chipotle Quesarito was a thing I needed to do. As always, it was a glorious cheese-lozenge but left me with sadness and regret for the rest of the day. Fast forward to this morning when my bowels finally unclenched from eating t... | 6 | 15.5 | |
1405607917 | 1405615776 | t3_2aygey | t5_2to41 | 55 | AccidentalRebel72: TIFU by sitting next to Uncle Phil.
I really picked the wrong seat Reddit. My friend invited me to go kayaking with him and his family the other day. I said, "Yeah! Sounds awesome!"
So we get to the rental shack on the river, pay, and get on the bus to take us roughly 8 miles upstream. The bus was p... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1405612983 | 1405614212 | t3_2aypaw | t5_2to41 | 19 | Z-dub44: TIFU by contributing to the 9 layer lasagna.
Alright guys i gotta tell you all the story of the 9 layer lasagna. It wasn't today but it's a story that needs to be told. I'll set the scene.
It was my freshmen year of high school. I moved to a new town. Classic sleepy coastal town where everyone knew each other... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1405614415 | 1405616452 | t3_2ayruh | t5_2to41 | 3 | VayneCarudasSolidor: TIFU by cooking with propane
So I have to live in a RV campground for the next couple weeks.
I was given a propane powered portable camping cooker, but was warned that it may scare you when you light it.
So there I am, hungry for the fine cuisine that is ramen noodles, when I turn the propane o... | 3 | 1 | |
1405605195 | 1405628515 | t3_2aycal | t5_2to41 | 23 | PutinCrimeaRiver: TIFU By electrocuting myself with an insect zapper
Okay now this happened quite a few years ago but the fuck up is worth it.
Bit of a prologue, ive been really close with these four guys for most of my life and by means i still do not know we wanted to be electricians and line men. Bit off topic but a... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1405616354 | 1405706843 | t3_2ayv87 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating in bed
No throwaway because I am too lazy. This happened about 2 years ago when I was 14 or 15. I was your average teenager who masturbates a lot. My family was pretty religous back then, but not much anymore. So lets get to the point.
It was Saturday night and I couldn... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1405621134 | 1405626772 | t3_2az47a | t5_2to41 | 19 | ReferToTitle: TIFU by being gullible
I'm from North Carolina and visiting a friend in California right now. Been here for not even a day and my buddy just HAD to take me to In-n-out. I wasn't expecting that great of food and decided to have him order for me. He ordered me a Cheeseburger and fries both Animal Style. I w... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1405620904 | 1405631308 | t3_2az3s4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | googie_g15: TIFU by not locking the bathroom stall door properly
So today I was taking my mid-morning shit at work. It seems that in my hurry to drop trou I only half locked the stall door. A few minutes later the next needy patron entered the bathroom and eagerly jiggled the doors to find an empty stall.
Once he got... | 3 | 2 | |
1405622058 | 1405630133 | t3_2az5rw | t5_2to41 | 24 | atozammae: TIFU by causing $10,000+ worth of damage
So, there's this CT machine at work that I started working with recently. And its got this little thing called a calibration phantom that you have to put in to run some tests with. Well dum ol' me decided to drop it while trying to wrench it loose from the machine aft... | 4 | 6 | |
1405622021 | 1405624639 | t3_2az5pk | t5_2to41 | -108 | [deleted]: TIFU Drinking Too Much Wine By My Pool and Not Clearing My Tablet
This morning was super gorgeous outside so I decided to skip yoga and lie out in a bikini, work on my tan and relax a bit. I took my tablet and a chilled bottle of white wine with me.
After lying on my chaise lounge for an hour or so, browsi... | 11 | -9.818182 |
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