start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1406549909 | 1406561451 | t3_2bxsed | t5_2to41 | 50 | agentlame: Please take a second to read 'reddit 101'
## What is reddit, really?
* Don't think of reddit as one giant community. This site is made up of "sub"reddits, which are all their own communities. Every single post you see on this site belongs to its own community, with its own set of users, and with its own s... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1406551794 | 1406554192 | t3_2bxuly | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by quitting my job
So I was feeling frustrated and trapped in a simple IT job where I got to go home and pretty much get paid to learn PHP and look at pictures of cell phone towers. Things were steady, I could actually get a lot of things done and had free time and money to do what I liked.
Then I ap... | 3 | 2 | |
1406551398 | 1406711394 | t3_2bxu4o | t5_2to41 | 143 | Throwaway-Hero: TIFU by dumping racing fuel into a rabbit hole
This happened a while back,
Its a funny story of what an idiot I am.
It was a cool fall afternoon in the quiet suburbs.
I was cleaning out the garage.
You know, putting tools in the right place,
not just a big messy pile on the workbench.
You know.. th... | 8 | 17.875 | |
1406553239 | 1406554945 | t3_2bxwgb | t5_2to41 | 2 | lomaxa: TIFU by not reading my intinerary
I was supposed to go to France for 3 weeks starting today, but when I woke up this morning to a message for my father asking me if I was in jail I realized I f***** something up..
I realize that my plane was for Sunday the 27th at 1130 is not the 28th at 1130.
Quite the excit... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406555588 | 1406582579 | t3_2bxzuy | t5_2to41 | 45 | GoinToTheShindy: TIFU by using a condom to masturbate.
So yesterday I used a condom to masturbate because I do that sometimes for easy clean up. As usual I threw the condom in the bathroom trash can. My girlfriend comes over after not seeing her for a week. She comes up to me in bed saying "Hey so...why is there a used... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1406555900 | 1406557299 | t3_2by0bt | t5_2to41 | 6 | NotAModder: TIFU by using diary.
Oh wow. How embarrassing does this have to be. Anyways, into story. If you read my post yesterday, this makes a bit more sense. So, this girl I like. Let's just call her Sara. But I think that she COULD be my GF. So I write my feelings in a diary. So I go to the pool with my diary and ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1406555289 | 1406690114 | t3_2bxzeq | t5_2to41 | 14 | witchling_22: TIFU by trusting my father NOT to fuck me over...
Super quick back story: my father lies, cheats and steals, and has managed to screw over everyone he's done business with. Most people don't blame/resent us (the kids) for his actions, but some do. Growing up was interesting.
On Valentine's Day, I was t-... | 8 | 1.75 | |
1406556265 | 1406557786 | t3_2by0ul | t5_2to41 | 6 | shirttuckedinOD: TIFU by thinking that my coworker knows Reddit inside jokes
I work in Central Transport at a hospital, my job is to carry patients from point A to point B and sometimes back to point A. It involves a constant walking all day. I was training this new girl who had just gotten the job. A few hours later w... | 3 | 2 | |
1406556478 | 1406558876 | t3_2by16e | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting pregnant.
fairak17: Smasmortion out of the question?
Verboten_freedom: Beautiful.
fairak17: I'm just asking, I'm 23 if it happened to me I'd spend time considering it
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1406556834 | 1406573923 | t3_2by1q6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: Tifu by not giving heads up about "giving head"
Excuse me for any bad format or grammar error, I'm using my phone and English isn't my first language.
This just happened about 4 hours ago.
Back story : My cousin is french educated and her English knowledge is rather nil
Story : All the family is united ... | 3 | 2 | |
1406557379 | 1406618604 | t3_2by2lc | t5_2to41 | 10 | lmardcarvalho: TIFU by gluing my boxers to my butt...
I broke something at work and it was fixable by gluing.
Today I brought a small tube of super glue and quickly took care of it. I put the tube in my back pocket and went back to my work routine.
Hours went by and suddenly I felt an unexplained freshness in my lef... | 5 | 2 | |
1406557663 | 1406569061 | t3_2by331 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with a psycho
Gaius-JuliusCaesar: wat
[deleted]: wut x2
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1406560516 | 1406562228 | t3_2by845 | t5_2to41 | 17 | letmeseethisone: TIFU - by calling in bbc radio 1 and got fired
Firstly I'll explain how the situation arose.
Starting work at 7am and staying alone I don't have anyone to talk to, I decide to put on my radio through earphones and plod along.
I get into work acting glum and ill and ask my manager for a half day (half s... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1406559000 | 1406617697 | t3_2by5co | t5_2to41 | 18 | PM_ME_DICKS_NO_HOMO: TIFU by laughing about the Holocaust
Let me just start by saying sorry for errors here. English is not my native language. Also I am at mobile so formatting is gonna be bad.
So I am 14 years old and in 8th grade. This happened at the end of the year ceremony where students show off the stuff that... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1406564748 | 1406603492 | t3_2byfqo | t5_2to41 | 98 | BrodAdams: TIFU - by having sex with a girl who only got the needle the day before.
So this girl and I have been friends with benefits over the course of the last few months and she finally decided to try birth control for the first time. She got the needle which basically means she only has to get a needle every three... | 13 | 7.538462 | |
1406564500 | 1406605670 | t3_2byfal | t5_2to41 | 1,329 | zubaba: TIFU by buying a Roomba.
This one isn't mine, but my neighbors.
This morning a large truck was blocking the shared driveway, so I went over to my neighbors house to find out what was going on. She was getting her carpets replaced, which confused me because she had just done this a few months ago. I asked her w... | 5 | 265.8 | |
1406567713 | 1406641592 | t3_2byl6s | t5_2to41 | 232 | shittiest_scientist: TIFU by doing scat play with my wife when her brother came over for a surprise visit. (NSFW) (maybe somewhat NSFL?)
So my wife and I were doing scat play with each other (I know, it's gross to everybody else) and had gotten ourselves covered. The two of us had ear plugs in so it wouldn't get in our... | 10 | 23.2 | |
1406558374 | 1406580838 | t3_2by493 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating something I shouldn't have.
Some background: I recently graduated with an MA in Spanish and Portuguese. I have been learning Spanish for 7 years now. And even lived in Spain for 10 months. As a graduation present to myself I saved up during my final year of university and booked myself a trip ... | 3 | 3 | |
1406568547 | 1406665732 | t3_2bymtx | t5_2to41 | 182 | [deleted]: TIFU by overdosing on Ambien, hallucinating there was a grass woman, and jumping out of a second-story window.
Last night I was very upset and decided to take more Ambien than usual to sleep, because I wanted to sleep hard and fast. I ended up having some weird hallucinations. It started with me thinking my ... | 9 | 20.222222 | |
1406568987 | 1406682584 | t3_2bynom | t5_2to41 | 134 | CBinNeverland: TIFU by not answering my phone.
A couple weeks ago I was out of town visiting a friend for her birthday. We just finished our freshman year of college, so we're all at home for the summer, but her parents were out of town, so we had her house to ourselves.
One of her other friends who is super hot, but... | 12 | 11.166667 | |
1406571783 | 1406648252 | t3_2byt3n | t5_2to41 | 37 | almost-pickedup-daug: TIFU by picking up a streetwalker [nsfw?]
TangentialFUCK: [ ] Things that Happened
[X] This
duckvimes_: That... that doesn't actually make sense. At all. Sorry.
mayeslad: Yes it does?
duckvimes_: Honestly, it doesn't. You and I know what it's trying to convey, but written as it is, it doesn't m... | 11 | 3.363636 | |
1406569242 | 1406637734 | t3_2byo6w | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by hot-boxing my flatmate's room
So last night we had some friends round (9 of us altogether). We ended up buying about 11 grams of weed, and decided to hot-box my flatmate's room.
We rolled a joint each, sealed all the windows and door, and went to town. After this process was repeated, most people l... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1406571507 | 1406581857 | t3_2bysld | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my ass hair...
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1406571738 | 1406592312 | t3_2byt0w | t5_2to41 | 43 | Introvertedgenius: TIFU by making toast.
This story, like most, did not happen today. It takes place on Christmas Eve of 1999. At the time, I was living with my mom, my dad, my brother, and my dog, who will be relevant later. I was three and a half, whereas my brother was a little over one year old.
Ever since I was... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1406598471 | 1406651912 | t3_2bypc8 | t5_2to41 | 39 | Manbearphoenix: Like not throwing bricks.
metastasis_d: Or getting better aim.
lostcountofthrowaway: Or double-tap just to make sure.
Jasondazombie: **Double Tap** *YE-HAW* **Double Tap** *YE-HAW*
| 4 | 9.75 | |
1406573104 | 1406574452 | t3_2byvnx | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to put spoons in the kid's lunchbox.
GabenOurSaviour: I think you should read some other stories on here before posting.
probablycourtneylove: I didn't promise it would be interesting.
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1406578868 | 1406629161 | t3_2bz6sh | t5_2to41 | 1,646 | Turtle11111111112: TIFU by turtling an unsuspecting girl at work [nsfw]
So I'm sitting at my desk at work on reddit and I get n.a.r.b (no apparent reason boner). This is usually normal, as a man in my early 20's I get these a lot, but this one was massive, I'm talking full mast. So as I'm sitting there trying to wait i... | 12 | 137.166667 | |
1406578922 | 1406583383 | t3_2bz6vz | t5_2to41 | 2 | UUUUGGGGHHHH: TIFU By Drinking Alcohol That Is Not Mine
Well, actually I didn't do anything recently, it's only recently that there are consequences.
Several weeks ago, I was on a bender and ran out of booze, so I drank some of my roommate's alcohol that was in his room. This was a terrible idea and it's totally not o... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406579690 | 1406666615 | t3_2bz8f5 | t5_2to41 | 75 | seriouscathealer: TIFU hula hooping while wearing a strapless dress
In front of my coworkers... They were watching me, and then suddenly they started to look different directions. I was not sure what's going on. I put the hoop down, and just realized my dress is on my belly, and my bra was barely hanging there, exposin... | 5 | 15 | |
1406578684 | 1406586603 | t3_2bz6fm | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a drink with someone's mom.
When I was a dumb young Army private in basic training, I got sent home for a couple of weeks for Christmas. I was in the best shape of my life, had a uniform with badges and buttons and Army ribbons on it; I couldn't help but get laid right?
Not so much. I burned ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1406579752 | 1406625038 | t3_2bz8ip | t5_2to41 | 104 | ohanian: TIFU by pulling when I should have pushed
So, a little background first: one of my closest friends growing up our high school's principal's son. I've been over to his house quite a few times, but I hardly know his dad, just the casual "hey, Mr. Danton" etc.
So, it's been a couple months since I've been to his... | 5 | 20.8 | |
1406579139 | 1406580831 | t3_2bz7b8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | DeximYrreb: TIFU by farting on my gf on our 1 month aniversary
This was a couple months ago sorry.. Okay, so the gf and I WERE spending the day together because it was our day. All was going well while we chilled on the couch fooling around.. WELL, i've been holding in my butt yodeling all day and the pressure was buil... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1406580022 | 1406617357 | t3_2bz912 | t5_2to41 | 7 | hiimcloudy: TIFU First time driving in SF
A few months ago, my friends and I decided to go to a club in San Francisco for my friend's birthday. Since I was the only one not drinking, I was honored with the task of being the DD. I did not have a car at the time, so my friend agreed to let me use her car as long as I did... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1406580433 | 1406586823 | t3_2bz9tp | t5_2to41 | 18 | darpacheetos: TIFU by drinking a milkshake.
LaDarkPhoenix: >sitting so high up in my seat that my balls were resting on the steering wheel
Nice poetic skills OP
darpacheetos: Appreciate it haha.
LaDarkPhoenix: Gonna have to give you a gold for that actually, you had me cracking up at 2AM
darpacheetos: Thanks for ... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1406581074 | 1406682965 | t3_2bzb2q | t5_2to41 | 61 | rustier_trombone: TIFU by torrenting
I went home for the weekend and decided to refill my "movies" folder.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Everything downloaded as expected and was peachy keen. I went back to school/work no problem-o. Now here's the fuck up. I just got an email from my dad saying that Comcast (FUCK THEM) caught us us... | 9 | 6.777778 | |
1406577335 | 1406590949 | t3_2bz3ux | t5_2to41 | 3 | Dinosoarman: Tifu by getting banned from /r/askreddit.
hardNheavy: that will teach you to talk shit about someone when YOU'RE WRONG
Dinosoarman: No! I am not wrong!
| 3 | 1 | |
1406581694 | 1406651225 | t3_2bzc9l | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be a 'good parent'
I had my daughter when I was 17 so we have a pretty open relationship and I can relate better to her than my own parents when I was growing up. She sees me as friend and parent which lately with her turning 13 this year I can see how it's going to bite me in the ass espec... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1406581493 | 1406603134 | t3_2bzbvf | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by pushing to early and sharting myself
kinda_alone: Hi,
Your submission has been removed. This is would be more appropriate for I Shit myself Saturday. Please repost then.
ExtropianAtheist: Holy crap... I didn't know that was a thing!
kinda_alone: No worries. Just save the story and repost it Saturda... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1406581907 | 1406623067 | t3_2bzco2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | shittysoccergirl: TIFU and made it look like I beat up a soccer player for petty reasons.
The weather was nice today, so I took my niece to the library playground. She was building a tower with her blocks when a rogue soccer ball kicked by a nearby practicing team came flying and knocked them down. The soccer girl ran ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1406584293 | 1406649279 | t3_2bzh3s | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating in the bathroom at work
So this was actually Friday ...
I was browsing online and got a bit horny so I decided to take a trip the the bathroom and masturbate. I was really getting into it leaning back against the toilet with my dick out rubbing and stroking away. I eventually closed my ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1406584846 | 1406664799 | t3_2bzi4x | t5_2to41 | 9 | ExtropianAtheist: TIFU by jumping a curb with my new bike.
So, I recently decided I wanted to get into mountain biking. I have a lot of friends who do it and I lost a bunch of weight over the last few years, so I figured why not.
So I found a great deal on a barely used bike on Craigslist that is actually way nicer t... | 3 | 3 | |
1406586585 | 1406598239 | t3_2bzlc8 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a mom to shut her child up in a library.
Unable to to study for my exams at home I go to my local library to study. This careless motber decides to bring her rowdy ass child in and this little shit is screaming so loud I feel like I'm at the zoo. This entire time this bitch of a mom decides t... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1406586860 | 1406615517 | t3_2bzluq | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by mopping my kitchen floor.
... with a mixture of bleach and vinegar. I filled up one side of my kitchen sink with hot water, some soap, and generous portions of vinegar and bleach. The cleaning was going fine for a while, but I started to notice my eyes stinging. A little while later I started coug... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1406577726 | 1406605735 | t3_2bz4ls | t5_2to41 | 10 | bloodymuffin13: TIFU by asking a customer if they wanted the "cucci special"
This was actually about two years ago, but I'll tell it now. I work in a restaurant as a food runner and bus boy aka the person that isn't your waiter that brings you your food. Anyways, one of the specials that my boss was running was jokingl... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1406588842 | 1406591935 | t3_2bzpbg | t5_2to41 | 11 | Ephidrineon: TIFU by jumping onto my bed
I'm 16 years old and I live in germany. I own a tablet which I got for christmas (it's one of those relatively cheap china ones, offering great value for the price tho), usually it's resting on my bed. I had charged it up and turned it off. I was sitting on my pc, while my dog w... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1406588370 | 1406594538 | t3_2bzoi5 | t5_2to41 | 9 | shittiest_scientist: TIFU by posting here.
fellaphant: So bring it on over here so you can get more hate mail from a different subreddit. Makes sense.
Teotwawki69: Or relink to it for more hate from the same subreddit. Although none of that hate is deserved.
fellaphant: I agree. So what if you want to cover yourself ... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1406592803 | 1406595193 | t3_2bzvw7 | t5_2to41 | 33 | Seraphym87: TIFU by revealing to one of my best friends that he showed me nsfw pics of his GF while he was shitfaced.
This actually happened about a week ago, but ended up blowing up today. I recenty ran through a master's program in statistics with this guy, and we got pretty close as friends. Fast forward a year and ... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1406587233 | 1406635835 | t3_2bzmje | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by posting an askreddit question.
In New York with my parents for my senior trip. We are leaving and get to the airport like 4 hours early. I'm bored so I post a question on askreddit. Didn't expect it to take off but it does and my inbox gets flooded. I'm on my phone and I'm getting notification after ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1406594379 | 1406647217 | t3_2bzyel | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing on an authority
So, as a 17 year old living in central Nebraska, corn detasseling is the best means of short term income. For those who don't know, the job consists mainly of walking through a corn field for 8 hours a day.
Anyone who's ever done it before, be honest, you peed in the field at ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1406594558 | 1406613433 | t3_2bzyos | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my ex-teacher cry at my workplace.
So a couple of weeks ago I started a new job at a convenience store attached to a gas station. Today my old teacher came in, a woman who tortured my friends and I both in and outside of class. She was just one of those really nasty teachers who targeted stude... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1406595675 | 1406596698 | t3_2c00et | t5_2to41 | 14 | BatBoy1198: TIFU by reading TIFU
So a couple days ago i wanted to spend the day with my boyfriend of 3 months at my house. Let's call my boyfriend Ash. And we were bored so i decided to go on my computer, while he was using the bathroom. I logged onto TIFU and started reading them laughing. Ash had walked in when i was... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1406595436 | 1406644115 | t3_2c002a | t5_2to41 | 199 | RandomRedditNameYAY: TIFU by ejaculating on my buddy's couch + sister [NSFW]
So my buddy's parents where on vacation and decided to leave the house to him for the week. Like the 16-17 year olds we are we where going to use this opportunity to go the nightclub near his house, and then sleep in the house afterwards. The ... | 12 | 16.583333 | |
1406596098 | 1406602326 | t3_2c012s | t5_2to41 | 47 | GoingInTheGarbaje: TIFU by opening Amazon packages too fast
I'm a college student living at home for the summer, and I've been looking for a good set of speakers for my room that will last a good amount of time after college. Thanks to the folks over at /r/audiophile, I found an affordable system and ordered it last T... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1406594025 | 1406598881 | t3_2bzxvb | t5_2to41 | 5 | babroid: TIFU by spilling wine on a customer
I used to work as a server at a restaurant. There was a hostess who's grandparents always came in on saturday afternoons because the restaurant was slow. They had ordered some wine as a drink. I was carrying the glass out on a round tray from behind the old guy. He juts ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1406597749 | 1406686703 | t3_2c03sz | t5_2to41 | 207 | wweking: TIFU by selling my psp.
So I was selling a bunch of my games on craigslist. Someone wanted to buy my psp. I haven't played on it forever so it was dead, I didn't have a charger. I couldn't check what was on the psp. I sold it to a dad buying for his 8 year old son. As soon i left remember i downloaded a bunch ... | 6 | 34.5 | |
1406598042 | 1406632620 | t3_2c04aq | t5_2to41 | 40 | furnace_of_love: TIFU by burning my lovers dick.
Needless to say this did not happen today but [this](http://i.imgur.com/sah0bP0.jpg) tweet reminded me of prior events. A few months ago I was hooking up with a guy who I truly cared about. It’s been a long time since someone has made me feel the way that he has. That be... | 4 | 10 | |
1406599595 | 1406601995 | t3_2c06pc | t5_2to41 | 67 | Manbearphoenix: TIFU by microwaving nothing
So like most TIFU my story happened 8 years ago or so to my mother. I was sitting in the kitchen waiting for dinner when my mom must have accidentally put an empty measuring cup into the microwave and set it for 5 minutes or so. I'm just sitting doing homework in the kitchen ... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1406600876 | 1406607027 | t3_2c08oc | t5_2to41 | 62 | Imabigdiva: TIFU by calling an employee a fucking retard at Taco Bell.
So not today (is it ever actually today?), but a few days ago, I made the mistake of Redditing in the Taco Bell drive-through.
I was browsing through a thread when I came across a comment that appears in almost every thread. It makes me laugh... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1406601089 | 1406650650 | t3_2c0917 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Noteworthy14: TIFU by being too polite and shy.
This happened about 20 minutes ago.
I was walking home from my friend place after a long day at work and a great game of Golf.
As I arrive on my street, I seen this beautiful woman who live just across the road from me (Around 27-29 presumably, she had two kids, one l... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1406601648 | 1406647350 | t3_2c09x4 | t5_2to41 | 2 | mistake_or_design: TIFU by yelling "Welcome to Moe's!"
I work 2 jobs, Moe's and Pizza Hut. I work at Moe's during the day and Pizza Hut at night almost every night of the week. My brain is so fried from working so much lately, and tonight at Pizza Hut, I yelled "Welcome to Moe's" as soon as the door beeped. Let's just ... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1406602635 | 1406680739 | t3_2c0bf9 | t5_2to41 | 50 | blahblahhoohah: TIFU by driving 20 miles with my parking break on and an infant in the back of the car
I guess the parking brake isn't that strong in the model of car I have, and there isn't any sound to indicate the brake is on.
I have an early 2000s Honda Civic.
I didn't realize the brake was on until, in the mid... | 5 | 10 | |
1406602381 | 1406655549 | t3_2c0b1u | t5_2to41 | 48 | throwaway12345678000: TIFU by not deleting my history when my dad tried to install a wireless printer
So basically today I have been trying to apply for community college classes and I needed to print a form up for it. However, my laptop is not hooked up to a printer in my room. However, both of my parents have a print... | 6 | 8 | |
1406605131 | 1406608386 | t3_2c0f8q | t5_2to41 | 13 | traugdor: TIFU by bidding on eBay.
Eat_The_Muffin: You don't have to pay straight away, just add some more money to it
traugdor: It's a new PayPal account and it already took a week or more to get the funds in that I already have...
Eat_The_Muffin: Even a bank transfer only takes days...
Credit/debit card?
traugdor: ... | 12 | 1.083333 | |
1406605376 | 1406650769 | t3_2c0fm4 | t5_2to41 | 5,718 | Glass_Veins: TIFU by trying to drink a Capri Sun in my car
So this morning on my way out the door to work I grabbed a Capri Sun and a granola bar for the drive. There I was, in my new Toyota, happily opening the drink's little straw. Life was good. When suddenly -- disaster struck.
My morning flashed before my eyes as... | 14 | 408.428571 | |
1406600993 | 1406633662 | t3_2c08v7 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Averageperson_: Tifu by listening to Iron Maiden
Not today, but a few days ago.
Anyway, I was cruising around with my dog listening to some tunes when Iron Maiden came on. They are one of my favorite bands so I turned the radio up pretty loud. (I drive a jeep, so with the top off, the speakers can be heard a good ways... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1406607427 | 1406772353 | t3_2c0ina | t5_2to41 | 27 | brandon948: TIFU by playing with kittens
This happened when I was about 5 or 6 years old.
My dad had brought home a stray cat that had hitched a ride in his truck on his way from work one night. He and my mother surprisingly let me keep the cat and I promptly named her Susie. Susie was always gone during the day and v... | 7 | 3.857143 | |
1406608283 | 1406630562 | t3_2c0jut | t5_2to41 | 18 | Easy2Remember0: TIFU by being a FU
So idk... Maybe its always been like this and ive just never noticed... SO this FU actually started awhile ago, like 2 months. So i have a pretty bad drinking problem as do quite a few people in the small mid-western city i live in. Not that thats any excuse for what ive done... So i ... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1406609862 | 1406612095 | t3_2c0lwk | t5_2to41 | 10 | equallyconfusing: tifu by ruining my own birthday and vacation day
I've had some bad birthdays lately. Last year my mom was dying in the hospital so even though my sibling took me out, it was a sad birthday. Good news is my mom recovered, and so I finally decided to give myself a break and asked for a vacation day for ... | 5 | 2 | |
1406609647 | 1406615835 | t3_2c0lna | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to give a girl her first sexual experience.
So this happened years ago but a thread I was reading reminded me of it so I thought I'd post.
It's my sophomore year in college and I've been dating this girl I met at a frat party for a few weeks. She was a virgin and didn't want to have sex but h... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1406611509 | 1406712440 | t3_2c0nzq | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by staring at a girl in line at Qdoba
She was chewing on her hair while standing in line with her mother. In my head, "She's a nice looking young lady. Why is she chewing her hair? That's fucking disgusting. Don't we eat enough random shit (hair, spiders, fingernails, etc etc...) in our food as it is? M... | 4 | 3 | |
1406609119 | 1406649745 | t3_2c0kzf | t5_2to41 | 399 | best_username_evar: TIFU by trying to help a girl get home from the bar
This happened in the fall (like 10 months ago) but I didn't know about this sub at the time. I'm in college and on an ordinary weekend I ended up at the local bar with some buddies. I run into a girl who I had met in one of my classes; we were in a... | 5 | 79.8 | |
1406611973 | 1406671234 | t3_2c0oja | t5_2to41 | 21 | 808metz: TIFU by not putting a lock on my phone
Once again.. This didn't happen today. This happened like 5 years ago in high school with my high school sweetheart.
Typing from my phone while I'm on ammo guard as well. I'm in the military so yeah bare with me.
Story starts back in junior year summer before senio... | 8 | 2.625 | |
1406613008 | 1406615820 | t3_2c0ppx | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by sexting with my girlfriend on snapchat and accidently posting a picture of my dick on snapchat story
so yeah like the title said i accidently posted a picture of my dick and some people got the chance to see it which is not THAT bad but before i could remove it someone took a screencap of the picture... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1406611134 | 1406615444 | t3_2c0nk2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | VikingTeddy: Tifu by throwing up on my computer and girlfriend because of a game.
So when you get that flight or fight reflex your body pumps you full of adrenalin. I learned on reddit that if you don't use that adrenaline, it ends up in your stomach and can cause nausea. I got to confirm it first hand.
Maybe not funn... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1406616267 | 1406623551 | t3_2c0tem | t5_2to41 | 7 | _Pyrous: TIFU by forgetting to text my manager back.
Not really a today but over the course of several days. I have issues with migraines and before I was correctly diagnosed, I would have panic attacks before/during work that caused me to be physically ill.
Basically, if you can't come in, you need to text your man... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1406618880 | 1406630747 | t3_2c0vz3 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Baseplate: TIFU by playing Cards Against Humanity
TIFU by going and meeting a buddy that was camping with a another family near by my town. When I arrived my buddy's son was hanging out with this very fat kid. We drank a beer or six and then since the kids were off doing whatever in the forest we decided to play Cards... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1406617508 | 1406728610 | t3_2c0unm | t5_2to41 | 37 | makashka: TIFU by taking 12 hits of acid
This happened about a year ago, but it was too noteworthy to have not been published... somewhere!
Started off with a normal day, kind of had a unique feel to it, as me and my buddy were trying to get our hands on some LSD. Sounds chill, eh? I had tripped once or twice lightly... | 9 | 4.111111 | |
1406620613 | 1406632349 | t3_2c0xll | t5_2to41 | 12 | comedine-in-me: TIFU by taking too many laxatives
More like 3 months ago, but y'know.
Background; I have IBS so sometimes I either get really badly constipated, or really intense diarrhea. Recently, my diet has been fairly balanced, meaning that my droppings have been fairly healthy, considering.
So I was sort of dep... | 3 | 4 | |
1406616495 | 1406699018 | t3_2c0tmr | t5_2to41 | 114 | guccigucciloiloifend: TIFU by getting high and petting my dog
Me and my brother got high this morning and decided to plug in the ole gamecube to the tv, so we go to our garage to find it. We find it and we decide to take it upstairs.
(We have some stairs that lead from the house into the garage, and we did not realiz... | 5 | 22.8 | |
1406623359 | 1406643810 | t3_2c1000 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my adult crush to another man.
We're both working adults. We'd known each other for years. We hung out a few times on weekends in social settings; we both really enjoyed each others company. I never get the courage to ask her out this whole time. We hang out on a beach and she's being super fl... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1406622559 | 1406655067 | t3_2c0zav | t5_2to41 | 632 | takinthis1tothegrave: TIFU by wearing my brother's shirt to school.
First post. This happened in 2006, when I was a sophomore in high school, and my brother was a few months into his freshman year in college. I have never told a single soul this story and got really excited when I found this subreddit so I can FINALLY ... | 12 | 52.666667 | |
1406625174 | 1406784697 | t3_2c11iw | t5_2to41 | 753 | PM_ME_YOUR_MEATBALLS: TIFU by trying to make my time of the month look sexy.
Guys, I'm literally in one of those stages whether or not I want to laugh or cry at what happened just 10 minutes ago. To start off from the beginning, my boyfriend had gone on a long trip for a week and had just gotten back a couple of hours ... | 11 | 68.454545 | |
1406592597 | 1406626759 | t3_2bzvlg | t5_2to41 | 4 | Idonefuckedupgood: TIFU by wrecking my dad's car
This happened not 30 mins ago. I was leaving my bank to go home. I look behind me and see noone coming so I back up to pull out. Then I look back and see this black BMW backing up *while i'm in the middle of the lot*. I didn't want to move since me moving would likely hi... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1406624524 | 1406748139 | t3_2c110y | t5_2to41 | 41 | IdSporkYouSoGood: TIFU by having sex in the back of my car in an "empty" parking lot.
This actually happened last summer, but being somewhat new to this subreddit I decided to share my wonderful FU with you all. A little bit o' info about me and my SO; Me and my girlfriend both lived in separate houses. She was 17 and ... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1406634543 | 1406646159 | t3_2c19s2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by diving while playing football.
I was playing football with my 7 year old neighbor at our backyard. We were dribbling and practising some skills together and when he kicked me to leg, I decided it would be funny to dive like the pros do. I get to the ground with my left arm first and then I feel a cru... | 3 | 1 | |
1406635044 | 1406641550 | t3_2c1aak | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a library computer say inappropriate things
This event happened at about this time last year at school. I think I was in English class in the library and I was sitting beside 2 friends who were also using some of the computers there.
Before I explain what happened, I need to explain *how* it ... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1406634826 | 1406668978 | t3_2c1a22 | t5_2to41 | 1,446 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a drink in the middle of the night, without underwear.
So this just happened right now and I'm hiding in my room with all my shame behind my locked door.
About an hour ago, I started masturbating because... Well it's late at night, I'm insomniac, and I started fantasizing. The thing is, I di... | 12 | 120.5 | |
1406637032 | 1406638820 | t3_2c1cix | t5_2to41 | 9 | OompaLoompaWrangler: TIFU by being nice pet sitting a doggy
So this wasn't today but like a month or so ago, but it's still fresh in my mind and these recent poop stories reminded me of it.
So one of my girlfriends friends was on leave and asked her if she would watch the dog and she agreed. The dog was pretty cool... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1406636820 | 1406689672 | t3_2c1cai | t5_2to41 | 26 | countryman117: tifu by cutting my hair while drunk
when i woke up this morning my head was killing me my mouth was dry and i was extremely nauseous no doubt i was obviously extremely hungover from my rowdy night before i could not for the life of me figure out what happened the night before so i started to get dressed ... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1406639433 | 1406679451 | t3_2c1flb | t5_2to41 | 32 | masta666: TIFU while talking to my boss
A little bit of background: over the summer I have a part-time job cleaning the buildings at my local college before the students get back. The job isn't too hard and everyone is really laidback, especially my boss. Everyday he'll come in and jokingly ask "what are you doing? "a... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1406642228 | 1406762721 | t3_2c1jti | t5_2to41 | 494 | FlibitEJibit: TIFU by hitting my 4-year-old in his teeny tiny balls
My son is finally out of a diaper, so there is no extra padding between his genitals and the buckles of his car seat. He usually climbs into the seat and sits down, then lifts his bum up so I can fish out the clasp for the buckles that go between his l... | 8 | 61.75 | |
1406641133 | 1406665564 | t3_2c1i33 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by quoting Airplane
I was on the train with my partner and as a pastime we were discussing funny films that we needed to watch together. I suggested Airplane, and without thinking I quoted it. "I take it [coffee] black, like my men."
Well of course a large black man walked past at that exact moment an... | 3 | 12 | |
1406643139 | 1406708951 | t3_2c1l8c | t5_2to41 | 1,053 | GrammarDetectives: TIFU by walking into my parents bedroom without knocking...
You'd think for this kind of title I'd be like 12, nope. I'm 19.... I was just going to the gym, so I did what any normal kid would do, went to my parents room to tell them I'd be going out. Opened the door, and saw my mom reaming my dad... ... | 9 | 117 | |
1406643488 | 1406656066 | t3_2c1lsl | t5_2to41 | 20 | XkelkeoX: TIFU by using superglue
I was working on a project with super glue, I didn't realize some had freshly splashed onto the back of my hand. My eye got itchy so I used said hand to rub my eye. BAD IDEA. My hand was almost instantly fused with my eye, and on top of that my eyelid was actually fused together. In my... | 7 | 2.857143 | |
1406645150 | 1406651028 | t3_2c1og5 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by remembering the wrong time
Literally just happened, I'm sitting defeated in my car in the parking lot...
Had a job interview today, nothing special. Interview is at 10:30, I show up at 10:15. Manager makes a face when the customer service guy called her over and said she had an interview. Manager s... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1406646614 | 1406650725 | t3_2c1qx5 | t5_2to41 | 10 | shrimpfajita75: TIFU by saying "I love you" to my girlfriend of two months
Well, it happened 2 weeks ago.... I visited my girlfriend at her house and I brought a bag of high quality blow that I bought completely on a whim (I never really have used it much).
So we decided to do alot of it and have sex like rabbits. Eve... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1406648106 | 1406648345 | t3_2c1tk3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | leftyguitarjoe: TIFU by blasting a stranger's car with piss
My friend and I were on a 2+ hour car ride and didn't want to stop. I had been drinking beer the whole time. It was my vacation, and I'll be damned if I wasted any of it being sober. For the record, I was NOT driving.
So, while he drove, naturally I had to p... | 3 | 4 | |
1406648324 | 1406665962 | t3_2c1txm | t5_2to41 | 40 | kgarring: TIFU by adding my dad's old friend on Facebook
A little background: my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2008 when I was 20. We were very close. He and my mom were completely devoted to each other and had a great marriage.
His old college buddy added me on facebook this morning and I accepted, thinking ... | 5 | 8 | |
1406649015 | 1406679708 | t3_2c1v6t | t5_2to41 | 418 | CarsTrucksBuses: TIFU by seeing my roommates mom naked
Before I begin my short story, let it be known that i'm an idiot. Okay, so, my roommates parents came in town yesterday to help him move out today, but I didn't meet them until a few hours ago (Worked a late shift). So this morning, these people who I've never met ... | 12 | 34.833333 | |
1406649872 | 1406670366 | t3_2c1wny | t5_2to41 | 27 | Pastor_Bill: TIFU by showing mercy
I was lying on the floor in my basement under a blanket watching Netflix when I felt something on my leg. I threw the blanket off and discovered a beetle approximately one inch in length with small pincers on the floor. I then trapped the beetle in a cup with a book on top and forgo... | 4 | 6.75 |
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