start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1406832458 | 1406978350 | t3_2c9i12 | t5_2to41 | 49 | fart_till_I_bleed: TIFU by masturbating after doing yard work
TLDR: I now have poison ivy on my dick.
We purchased a new house recently. It sat vacant for a year and the previous owners were shit land lords, so it's a bit of a fixer-upper. Theres a patch overgrown stuff on a pretty steep hill in our yard and I wante... | 5 | 9.8 | |
1406835924 | 1406882914 | t3_2c9otl | t5_2to41 | 440 | _OTL: TIFU by sending a girl I have a crush on a pic of herself...
I met a girl...beautiful, great personality and a mesmerizing smile to boot..
We've been texting back and forth sporadically for the last couple weeks (90% of the convos were work/profession related..unfortunately I am not very good at conversing with ... | 22 | 20 | |
1406840091 | 1406901988 | t3_2c9wr2 | t5_2to41 | 19 | ieatclams: TIFU by leaving my dildo at my parents house when I went off to college. I'm a guy.
This story takes place over several years, so not technically today. But the implications of what transpired forever altered my family dynamic in major ways.
Okay so here goes. My family is majorly involved in the methodis... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1406839031 | 1406916261 | t3_2c9ur9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | mightbealady: TIFU by NOT making the secks with a guy
Context: This was a few years ago in college. A few months prior, I had been kicked out of a 5 year relationship with a guy a few years older than me, who left me in a cruel way that left me a little fucked up. After much prodding from my roommate, I started going o... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1406841629 | 1406866466 | t3_2c9zll | t5_2to41 | 10 | jawnbull: TIFU By using shaving cream as lube.
I'm a young horny male and sometimes when you're in that mood you'll do whatever it takes to release the tension. It seemed like a good idea until it started expanding and creating a huge mess.
officialAZE: pls read the ingredients first
ohlookahipster: x2
Used soap as ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1406841719 | 1406844513 | t3_2c9zs1 | t5_2to41 | 16 | throwawayultra3000: TIFU by kissing the girl I liked.
There's a girl that I had been friends with for months. She's (VERY) beautiful, charismatic, fun, etc... most certainly a 10 in my books. If anything she's really one of the only girls I have had a crush on in years. We had always hung out together in groups and nev... | 4 | 4 | |
1406840320 | 1406849725 | t3_2c9x5z | t5_2to41 | 23 | thelastkevin: TIFU by cutting my finger at work (and then reporting it)
To start, I am a first year apprentice electrician, and I started work just a month ago. I'm currently working at one of the biggest (or the biggest) construction site in North America, and safety very emphasized on site all the time.
That being ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1406828330 | 1406882279 | t3_2c99wu | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting Cat sh*t on my balls
So before I explain I did not have sex with a cat.
I have been training my cat to use the toilet with a litter tray placed above the toilet.
This has been going on for a few days from Sunday and he is not ready for it to be taken off so every time I go to the toilet I h... | 3 | 2 | |
1406843356 | 1406920670 | t3_2ca2sf | t5_2to41 | 18 | Kenziethefurry: TIFU By Playing League of Legends.
This happened last night, and I am somewhat disappointed in myself.
So, last night, playing some League, as usually...I receive two calls, I ignore them...
I call them back after my match...
It was my brother and mother, telling me my father was in the hospital, and... | 9 | 2 | |
1406843175 | 1406859560 | t3_2ca2gz | t5_2to41 | 8 | herovillainous: TIFU by trying to google a gaming term.
Short and not so sweet fuck up today.
So I play World of Warcraft on occasion, and there's a mount in the game called the "Depleted Kyparium Rocket", basically just a cool rocket you can ride around on. So I went to google how you go about getting this rocket. Un... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1406841628 | 1406851102 | t3_2c9zlj | t5_2to41 | 41 | touchmyfuckingcoffee: TIFU by vacuuming my store
For those who don't already know, I manage a vacuum cleaner store and repair shop. I often times leave my carpeting dirty, so as to demo the vacuums on it. You gotta show 'em how well they work, somehow!
Well, it's been getting a little out of hand, of late, and with al... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1406845910 | 1406853499 | t3_2ca739 | t5_2to41 | 72 | dickslips: TIFU by showing my girlfriend's brother my erect penis.
*This happened about a year ago.*
My gf's grandpa passed and I planed on staying at her parent's place for a while to console her (i.e sexy time). At the same time this whole thing is going on, I had gotten a new laptop; and with all new things that ha... | 3 | 24 | |
1406845781 | 1407253036 | t3_2ca6uz | t5_2to41 | 242 | ChollyChester: TIFU by getting too friendly with our cat.
First things first, this happened about ten years ago and I tried my best to supress it so the details are a bit fuzzy.
My mom had cats for as long as I can remember and I always really loved them. Back when I was 14 and still living with her I had a loft bed (... | 12 | 20.166667 | |
1406846981 | 1406897233 | t3_2ca8vq | t5_2to41 | 104 | GWAPES07: TIFU by playing too much Skyrim
So this actually happened a few nights ago, but whatever.
So I was staying up super late the night before the incident playing tons of Skyrim (I just got it and am obsessed) and ended staying up until 2:45 AM. For me, that's way later than I *should* be staying up given that I... | 6 | 17.333333 | |
1406847656 | 1406850099 | t3_2ca9ye | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping in too long and missing the most important email of my life.
I have been trying to get into medical school for the last two years. There have been ups and downs, but everything was looking good when I was waitlisted at one of my top schools. This morning a spot opened up. Instead of contac... | 3 | 9 | |
1406848588 | 1406967210 | t3_2cabfp | t5_2to41 | 17 | EpicBot: TIFU, Broke Leg, Drunk Police Escort
Sorry for any typos, I'm trying to write this on my phone.
So Today, 31 July. I totally fucked up.
Lets start at the beginning. Me and 4 friends went camping together on this big campsite in the Costa Brava(Spain).
I have been to this camp site like 8/9 times with my par... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1406849482 | 1406851956 | t3_2cacuj | t5_2to41 | 3 | im-really-honest: TIFU...by being stupid.
PluckyWren: Wait, are you speaking for the entire state of North Carolina? Clarify, please.
Alphabeta4: I'm pretty sure he meant Georgia.
PluckyWren: Alabama? Seems right.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1406849732 | 1406851206 | t3_2cad7w | t5_2to41 | 9 | rachael_bee: TIFU by trusting a friend
My friend and I booked a trip to california, starting first in LA and ending in San Fran. He had a high paying job, while I had a crap minimum wage part timer. He offered to pay for everything, and I agreed as I had basically let him live off my couch for weeks. Leading up to the... | 3 | 3 | |
1406850163 | 1406909826 | t3_2cadus | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by crashing my bike in front of 30 people.
So I go biking every day except Wednesday at different place around town and yesterday happened to be the day where I go to my high school since it is a relatively hilly area and my friends in band have sectionals that day.
I show up to the highschool and unl... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1406851302 | 1406923508 | t3_2cafn3 | t5_2to41 | 75 | Paradoxical_Cat: TIFU by hipchecking a glass door [NSFW]
It's not even a complicated fuck-up. I thought it would be a good idea to try to unstick a stuck door by bashing it with the side of my body and it wasn't.
Now I have an inch long, super-deep [gash in my ass](http://i.imgur.com/tnkEIib.jpg?1).
MennyC123: You hav... | 7 | 10.714286 | |
1406853031 | 1407783293 | t3_2caiba | t5_2to41 | 900 | the_dinks: TIFU by banning like, 30 people under the wrong rule.
Basically, if you were confused by the fact that you were banned for writing an "unoriginal and non-noteworthy post," don't worry. You were actually banned for rule **4**, which is "be civil." So, yeah, I fucked that one up.
Please remember to be nicer i... | 14 | 64.285714 | |
1406854206 | 1406858805 | t3_2cak19 | t5_2to41 | 21 | stoopidfuture: TIFU by sleeping with my dog...
Get your minds out of the gutter!
Last night I let my dog sleep in my bed, and this morning woke up with a gnarly case of poison ivy all over my arms. so HEED MY WARNING: if you live in a rural area where poison ivy is common, and you have a pet, you should know that the... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1406855321 | 1406935313 | t3_2calnt | t5_2to41 | 164 | [deleted]: TIFU by unknowingly rejecting a hot guy
Let me preface this post by saying I'm really socially inept, awkward and may have a touch of aspergers.
So I'm at the gym the other day and some hot dude comes up to me and starts talking to me. We talk for 15 minutes while resting in between sets and I tell him how ... | 9 | 18.222222 | |
1406855612 | 1406856271 | t3_2cam3d | t5_2to41 | 3 | PhoneKeys: TIFU by posting this post
Vyndro: I hope you don't get banned
PhoneKeys: Shut the fuck up you sarcastic piece of kahkee.
| 3 | 1 | |
1406856512 | 1406860049 | t3_2cangk | t5_2to41 | 5 | mkstar93: TIFU by cracking my neck too far.
As a typical reddit/pc gamer i spend a lot of time on my computer. Sitting for long periods of time leads to neck cramps so i usually grab my neck and twist it down for those lovely cracks of relief. Today was no different unfortunately for me i seemed to have cracked my neck... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1406857546 | 1406887196 | t3_2cap06 | t5_2to41 | 35 | trampabroad: TIFU by making a kitty pancake
So three months ago our friend had kittens and we adopted a pair.
The cats were super cute and a great way to meet girls. But they were a bit bored inside, so we started letting them out onto our (6th floor) balcony to play with the plants. Sometimes they'd run over to the n... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1406858889 | 1406990725 | t3_2car2n | t5_2to41 | 12 | sayheytothebadguy: TIFU by putting my asshole directly on my brother's face....maybe NSFW
So this story starts out like every good TIFU, it was about ten years ago (i was 15ish....) so any guy that grows up with a brother knows that pranks are life...sometimes they are nasty...sometimes homoerotic...sometimes both. Bas... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1406860689 | 1406986228 | t3_2cattr | t5_2to41 | 3 | MyOtherAccountIsA2JZ: TIFU by shutting a TJ Max down for 3 hours.
This happened about 36 hours ago, I was helping my dad out by going to do a site survey while he was out of town. Well I have never done this kind of thing to say the least, the first thing to do was replace the batteries in the UPS(battery back up) okay... | 6 | 0.5 | |
1406861679 | 1406862229 | t3_2cavef | t5_2to41 | 11 | GrandpaSpud: TIFU by soiling myself
One night a friend and I went out for drinks in the town I work in and by night's end had had about 6 each (this is over the course of about 4 hours so we weren't drunk). We decided to head back to my house which is 50 minutes away and have a little slumber party.
Uh oh 1) one of my... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1406861728 | 1406867497 | t3_2cavh2 | t5_2to41 | 2 | blindsailor: TIFU got punched out
I_Like_Stuff59: I don't understand
coveritwithgas: Picture Rodney Dangerfield saying it.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406862071 | 1406866586 | t3_2cavzi | t5_2to41 | 8 | Memithezombiekiller: TIFU by taking my kids to see "Bodyworlds: the Animal Inside Out"
I thought my kids (3 and 6) might enjoy this exhibit, and that it would be educational, and I got free tickets (otherwise they cost $17 each).
Boy was I ever wrong.
We get in there and start looking at the exhibits, stuffed dead ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1406864465 | 1406888088 | t3_2cazio | t5_2to41 | 45 | NoThisIsPatrick-: TIFU by not paying attention at the urinal.
So I'm at work (a pharmacy) today, my coworker steps out for a minute as I realize I really gotta take a piss however someone has to be in the pharmacy at all times to make sure we don't get robbed. I'm waiting and waiting and waiting, finally she gets back;... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1406864581 | 1406869018 | t3_2cazpk | t5_2to41 | 17 | J09Lynn: TIFU by accidentally flashing a table of cops
I work evenings at a cafe near the cop station and one night I changed in the back room where there are no mirrors. Before I left the cafe I stoped at the cops table to say goodnight and I noticed they were giving me strange looks but I didnt think anything of it. ... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1406863007 | 1406907189 | t3_2caxbp | t5_2to41 | 11 | IDontLookLikeATurtle: TIFU by putting Hydrogen Peroxide in my eye
This happened 2 nights ago.
I decided to spend the night at a friends house after a bonfire. We just chilled for a while and watched some Breaking Bad before deciding to go to bed, nothing too extreme. I asked if he had an extra contact case and solutio... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1406865722 | 1406866710 | t3_2cb1dt | t5_2to41 | 10 | scaryprunejuice: TIFU by farting (NSFW)
GarnetSteel: Life hack for future, lay some toilet paper down on the water. It breaks the tension so that water doesn't splash back up :)
scaryprunejuice: Okay, thank you for the advice. I will try it soon.
GarnetSteel: Np!
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1406865003 | 1406867102 | t3_2cb0b3 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing along with those FB jokes.
tfyuhjnbgf: Next time say something about just finding out you are pregnant and how wasted you are gonna get. Then post pics of you drinking.
GarnetSteel: Haha well half the panic caused by everyone is that my boyfriend and I do lots of drugs.
The mention of shamb... | 5 | 1 | |
1406865884 | 1406868080 | t3_2cb1mf | t5_2to41 | 9 | Neversafeforlife: Tifu by opening the door for a kid
Not today, a few months ago. Me and my girlfriend were sitting at home watching television and close to starving, so we decide to order some pizza for pickup from a place down the street. Decent pizza and pretty cheap, so I get in my truck and drive my lazy ass about... | 3 | 3 | |
1406866817 | 1407004265 | t3_2cb2ya | t5_2to41 | 827 | ThrowAwayBallCup: TIFU by having an orgasm in public
Have you ever heard of a coregasm? Apparently, when you work your body really hard, you can have an orgasm.
I'm a 19 year old male, and I was unaware of this.
So there I am at the crowded gym on Saturday...
Sit up
Sit up
Sit up
Slight tingle...
*Hmm..* I thi... | 8 | 103.375 | |
1406866093 | 1406906004 | t3_2cb1xh | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not resting enough before babysitting
Let's go back 5 or so days. I often watch my sister's not-quite-2-year-old daughter while she's at work, and my other sister's 5 year old. Watching the girl is usually an 8:30-6pm affair, and since the boy and his mom live here, and he's 5, he doesn't really requ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1406870044 | 1407039517 | t3_2cb75y | t5_2to41 | 33 | misanthropicusername: TIFU by trying out my new vibrator [NSFW]
TIFU. I guess background first. I'm a transgender woman - that is, I was born male but identify as female and am currently in the middle ground between the two while I transition (I'm legally, socially, and hormonally female; I'm genitally male; anatomical... | 7 | 4.714286 | |
1406872258 | 1406924062 | t3_2cb9vi | t5_2to41 | 7,657 | bicyclejosh: TIFU by spilling black widows all over my living room
I'm a graduate student in Oklahoma and I work in a greenhouse. One day while chasing a lizard around the bay where my experiment is kept, I stumbled across a black widow female. I trapped her in a water bottle, brought her home, and put her in a cage wi... | 12 | 638.083333 | |
1406871622 | 1406918963 | t3_2cb94i | t5_2to41 | 21 | halovidnoob: TIFU by accidentally farting in my friends mom's face
So this happened a few months ago but i cannot stop thinking about it. I'm about to leave my friends house after having a little get together with a bunch of friends and I am about to open the front door when the family dog walks up to me. My friend's m... | 3 | 7 | |
1406871560 | 1406874046 | t3_2cb91t | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my brother fired.
[deleted]: You go off tangent a lot don't you?
mustangwolf1997: I usually do when I drink. But no, normally I do tend to drift away from the topic.
[deleted]: All good, was definitely a FU
mustangwolf1997: Oh no doubt. He works three jobs. Two from the same employer, mean... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1406874058 | 1406878971 | t3_2cbbux | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally wiping my hard drive
Today I was trying different pieces of software, as many IT people do, and I happened to need a flash drive to run this particular program on another computer. On computers that don't run Windows or Mac, they probably run Linux. On Linux, hard drives and other storag... | 5 | 1 | |
1406874970 | 1406932810 | t3_2cbcsk | t5_2to41 | 20 | jjsa202: TIFU by making my mom think I brought a pound of cocaine from Mexico.
So, last time I went to Mexico, I brought back a packet of delicious chili powder. I had opened it the night before coming back to the USA and had a little "chile fest!" by my gluttonous self. When packing, I wrapped the half a kilo up in a... | 4 | 5 | |
1406874977 | 1406901554 | t3_2cbcsw | t5_2to41 | 108 | Stormofhail: TIFU: By telling my GM I couldn't come to work because I was on Ecstasy. (Nsfw maybe)
I put nsfw because I mention drugs. This happened at the beginning of the summer, but still makes me facepalm to this day.
I've done drugs before, not often but occasionally (don't lecture me, I don't care)
I also try ... | 4 | 27 | |
1406874149 | 1406887784 | t3_2cbbxp | t5_2to41 | 3 | shitballs22: TIFU by being a busser
Let me start off I have been working at this restaurant for a couple months now not my first job and the pay is fine.
So my boss let's call her Nicole ask me to hurry up and buss a table but before that I was standing around doing nothing business was slow and I had a hang nail so I... | 3 | 1 | |
1406876251 | 1406917210 | t3_2cbe2s | t5_2to41 | 11 | Fyureus: TIFU by offering a worried man/woman my phone
This didn't happen today, but happened about 2 years ago, but just thought of it cause my brother brought it up today. Every Saturday/Sunday I go outside and play basketball with my brother, and i have my garage open and playing music, from an iHome like device whe... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1406876858 | 1406883115 | t3_2cbens | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU By cheating NSFW
Today was my one of my friends' birthday and we decided to get drunk, he is single and he invited every female that texted him happy birthday over to his house. It was about 15 females and only 4 of us and a lot of liquor.
The 4 ended up getting drunk before any of the them arrived, a... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1406876033 | 1406896437 | t3_2cbdvs | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by jokingly asking my girlfriend to message me a shirtless pic
Hey there. I am a 15 year old boy who miraculously has managed to keep a girlfriend for nearly 8 months now. I love her very dearly.
About two hours ago I decided to sent her a picture of myself in pajama pants just before going to bed. Aft... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1406874426 | 1406923644 | t3_2cbc8c | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by Cumming in my Parents Shower [probably NSFW]
So a little bit of back story: We only have one shower in my house and it's my parent's.
Let's go back to 13 year old me. I had just discovered masturbation and I was doing it A LOT. I did what I usually did which was starting off on the toilet and finish... | 3 | 5 | |
1406879236 | 1406881524 | t3_2cbgwg | t5_2to41 | 10 | feggatron: TIFU by pissing in a water bottle.
so my sister comes in my room with a bottle of water and places right next to my pee bottle, she starts playing call of duty zombies and then takes a drink out of the wrong bottle. hilarity ensues.
BakedChloe: I think the bigger question here is; why the hell do you have a... | 5 | 2 | |
1406878183 | 1406885313 | t3_2cbfxh | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my wife ...
GarnetSteel: Was it so much a solution, or was it asking whether she got insurance with her ticket? This is not exactly clear in your text..
She prob freaked because it's possible it wasn't part of the ticket and she's already in freak out mode. Which means you're not helping he... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1406880645 | 1406896340 | t3_2cbi2p | t5_2to41 | 3 | OhYeaImLacedUp: TIFU by exploiting my girlfriends insecurity.
This literally happened today, not even 3 hours ago. I had been texting my ex today (we remained civil after the break up) about random things. Me and my SO were watching a movie when my mother texted me asking if I could help troubleshoot her iPhone because... | 10 | 0.3 | |
1406880542 | 1406895905 | t3_2cbhzr | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to take off my t-shirt
This didn't happen today, it's closer to 18 months ago, but I'm fairly new to this subreddit, so here goes.
My gf at the time and me where in the early stages of a relationship.
You know, after the early "discovering" phase, and into the "awesome-sex-all-the-time" pha... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1406883470 | 1406902649 | t3_2cbkd5 | t5_2to41 | 1,850 | ifuckedup222: TIFU by getting caught masturbating by my 14 year old cousin, telling her something I shouldn't have, and try to pack my things and move out but in the process break a valuable vase that had sentimental value to my mother....
Pull up a chair and warm up by the fire because I'm about to tell you how I ruin... | 9 | 205.555556 | |
1406885769 | 1406897714 | t3_2cbmcr | t5_2to41 | 7 | holoz0r: TIFU By Attempting to Root my Phone
P0werage: Hey, you should try www.sammobile.com.
I wouldn't describe it as "dodgy", and I am usually done downloading my firmware in 3 hours or so. But the flashing itself takes like 10 minutes, as you may know.
Good luck! :)
holoz0r: The firmware for for my carrier lin... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1406888146 | 1406915420 | t3_2cbog8 | t5_2to41 | 135 | Shitmyselfthrow: TIFU on a first date by peeing out my butthole.
Throwaway cause... Cause I fucking shit my pants. Goddamnit.
Today I met a Tinder date- she works for an airline and flys standby to travel. We've been talking for a few weeks and she ended up stuck into town for the night, so we decided to meet for the ... | 10 | 13.5 | |
1406890480 | 1406931787 | t3_2cbqgn | t5_2to41 | 175 | mr_phat_booty: TIFU by liking and commenting on a girl I like's video
Happened a while ago but still hilariously cringey. So I met a girl at my university who is in my course, she is a total nerd and crazy cute, imagine princess anna with dark red hair cute. Anyway for about 2 weeks I invested inhuman amounts of energy... | 5 | 35 | |
1406883576 | 1406904107 | t3_2cbkge | t5_2to41 | 16 | pocarisweat3: TIFU by wearing really tight pants to work.
I am a little guy (inb4 manlet detected) and have always struggled to find proper fitting clothes. I heard once that size 18 boys pants are a good fit for people like me.
I normally wear baggier pants and shorts but I just got a job and I wanted to look good. ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1406893004 | 1406914031 | t3_2cbsws | t5_2to41 | 271 | Jawadd12: TIFU by playing with a dildo [SFW~]
It was summer, and my brother's in-laws have invited my family to their lake house over the weekend. The in-laws are just a family of 3 plus a toddler who's the wife's nephew, or godson, we're a family of 4.
The in-laws had a schedule of activities, and all of our electro... | 9 | 30.111111 | |
1406898460 | 1406899459 | t3_2cbz0e | t5_2to41 | 2 | koshjelly: TIFU by getting drunk by my fire pit.
themightysicko: Is that really fucking up? Cuz it sounds exactly like what I would do
koshjelly: It embarrasses me knowing I see/talk to these people everyday and now they have seen my urinating shlong, and I didn't even have the decency to at least turn around.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406895902 | 1406948342 | t3_2cbvz1 | t5_2to41 | 306 | tingle_time: TIFU by texting my boss that I have butt sex
This happened about a year ago, and when I finally came across this subreddit, I realized this would be the perfect place to tell this story.
This happened with my ex. We started having sex shortly into the relationship (she was my first and I was hers), and so... | 6 | 51 | |
1406897366 | 1406904332 | t3_2cbxnp | t5_2to41 | 27 | EwanWhoseArmy: TIFU By lending my teacher my tipex (Correction Fluid)
So many moons ago when I was in 6th form, I was one of only 4 kids who picked to study Chemistry to A-Level, anyway one of the teachers looked incredibly young and even though I am gay I could tell she was incredibly attractive, to the point where my... | 6 | 4.5 | |
1406751096 | 1406921427 | t3_2c68cz | t5_2to41 | 8 | PulpFictionIsMyShit: TIFU by not grabbing my house key
(Some back story) I'm 5' 2". I walk to work because I like to, and my fiance picks me up after he gets home. So I never take my keys.
We also have a great dane mix we got from a local pound named Diesel. He's a very sweet dog. Loves giving kisses.
(Where I went wr... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1406900556 | 1406901772 | t3_2cc1u2 | t5_2to41 | 121 | digitag: TIFU by trying to be polite
I've got a rule, if I find myself trying to move through the same space as someone else I'll always offer that they go first. If the other person does the same thing I just say 'thank you' and accept their offer. I haven't got all day and one of us has to go right? I'm sure the othe... | 7 | 17.285714 | |
1406888025 | 1406935512 | t3_2cbocp | t5_2to41 | 20 | nicolascage123: TIFU By eating Microwavable Macaroni and Cheese and watching The Ring.
One of my favorite foods is microwavable mac and cheese. Usually the Banquet or the Michelina's stuff. They cost less than 5 bucks each, they are fucking delicious, and they probably reduce my life expectancy by 5 days a pop. But da... | 4 | 5 | |
1406901518 | 1406926725 | t3_2cc389 | t5_2to41 | 385 | [deleted]: TIFU by reading my girlfriend's text messages to her ex.
I've always had a hunch that something was going on with her ex. She says they're "just friends", but this guy eye-fucks her when they're around one another and she's totally okay with it. Something just never sat right with me. I talked to her abou... | 5 | 77 | |
1406893644 | 1406981493 | t3_2cbtk4 | t5_2to41 | 22 | HornyJizzMaster: TIFU by jerking one out next to my cousin
So I'm staying with my cousin for a few days and resolved that no masturbation will take place in the time i was there.
This resolve lasted about 6 hours.
In the very early hours of the day I decided I had to unleash the milky beast. I didn't have an extracti... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1406895848 | 1406915260 | t3_2cbvxa | t5_2to41 | 16 | mimicryinc: TIFU by slathering peppermint oil directly on my vulva.
Was having some pain/irritation down there all day. So, I decided to mix a few drops of peppermint oil with jojoba oil and apply with a qtip. The result was soothing, but not as great of a relief as I'd wanted.
So, I decided to put a few drops of pep... | 9 | 1.777778 | |
1406899664 | 1406936573 | t3_2cc0ld | t5_2to41 | 145 | SirWalrusIV: TIFU dick pic on snapchat...
Alright, so this happend to me in febuary. I recently moved to another country to work and I got employed in a fairly small company. Working there for two weeks I had to go back home for a week as I had planned that trip before I got employed.
Anyhow, when I was back home dur... | 8 | 18.125 | |
1406901410 | 1406910069 | t3_2cc32q | t5_2to41 | 9 | newboobusername: TIFU by making a troll facebook profile and forgetting about it
flamingtoastjpn: This is blatantly fake, nobody from the bank is going to search on on Facebook
tobobo36: Actually it's a done thing nowadays. When ever you apply for a job or are proving identity without papers it's pretty common shit. O... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1406904141 | 1406925386 | t3_2cc77l | t5_2to41 | 7 | TinyPurpleElephant: TIFU by going to the gym
ThatCreepyStalker: Always start with a walk and then jog. It's so much better to get your heart rate up then jog. Make sure to stretch even before the walk. Proper exercise is half form and knowing what you are doing, the other half is effort.
TinyPurpleElephant: Thanks! I ... | 7 | 1 | |
1406904576 | 1406958541 | t3_2cc7zc | t5_2to41 | 9 | Xaxxus: TIFU By hitting a kid in the head with a baseball bat
So this happened like 10-15 years ago...
Anyways I was on a kids baseball team when I was younger and it was not a game day. We practiced at a local park that had baseball diamonds. It was in between batting practice and most people were off eating/drinking... | 3 | 3 | |
1406908399 | 1406945587 | t3_2ccej4 | t5_2to41 | -221 | picklesandchard: TIFU by sending a sexy text to my girlfriend instead of the girl I'm cheating with
[deleted]: You wanted to spare her feelings or you're just selfish???
You'll get what you deserve dick drip
picklesandchard: She doesn't want to know about how I get my relief. It's not like I could just go without se... | 15 | -14.733333 | |
1406908416 | 1406911291 | t3_2ccekb | t5_2to41 | 9 | tomoa: TIFU by going to a super load concert without ear protection.
Actually, this happened a few days ago. I went to a concert thinking it was going to be outside and not really that loud (friends invited me as a last minute thing). Well it was inside and SUPER LOUD. Oh my GOD my ears were in physical pain the entire... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1406907601 | 1406998960 | t3_2ccd57 | t5_2to41 | 84 | [deleted]: TIFU by participating in an office jalapeño eating contest
Yeah yeah - happened years ago. Most good stories do, and it isn't until you read a really awesome one that you remember one of your own. Anyway..
At the time, I worked for a pretty large corporation. We had an annual "Employee Appreciation Week"... | 4 | 21 | |
1406909646 | 1406938864 | t3_2ccgp7 | t5_2to41 | 104 | FuckingSailorMouth: TIFU by putting a roof over a homeless man's head.
Background info: I work at a condominium in Atlanta. I'm a master of the custodial arts, as well as my brother. My 50 year old dad's best friend since elementary school is my immediate boss and my dad runs the entire 26 story high rise.
When clean... | 6 | 17.333333 | |
1406909663 | 1406912303 | t3_2ccgq0 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by banging a chick in the kitchen minutes after banging her best friend in the bedroom.
Well my best friend's girlfriend invited over her co-worker (they are bartenders) to hang out at their house. I have flirted back and forth with this co-worker before. We will call her "M". We are drinking and ha... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1406911405 | 1406949098 | t3_2ccjw1 | t5_2to41 | 69 | SubversiveIQ: TIFU by re-posting an article on FaceBook. It turned out to be about my friends kid.
TIFU when I saw an article in the local paper which said "Naked Teen on LSD Found In Street, 3 Arrested." I re-posted it on fb, basically saying "Back in the day when we dropped acid, we could handle our shit. Fucking ama... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1406910118 | 1406912315 | t3_2cchjf | t5_2to41 | 2 | No-Forethought: TIFU by thinking my coworkers were talking about me
Also was thinking of the title "TIFU by having little to no self confidence" This actually happened a few weeks back but whatever. I just started a new job and was definitely feeling the stress of being not just the new guy but a throwaway intern, (thi... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406911095 | 1406951114 | t3_2ccjcq | t5_2to41 | 40 | darkdiscipline: TIFU by forgetting to trim my beard on the left side of my face, before a date.
Today I have a lunch date with a promising woman, and it'll be our second date. Unfortunately, I was rushing to prepare for the date before catching the bus to the date location. I usually shave/trim before showering to get ... | 4 | 10 | |
1406911693 | 1406912896 | t3_2cckeh | t5_2to41 | 4 | TryHardSnipr: TIFU by walking into the wrong classroom
First, a bit of background as to how my school worked (this will make sense in the story): We had a different teacher for the 3 subjects of science we did, and we had our lessons in rotation. Every time a class missed a lesson (e.g. Communion or a day off) we would... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1406914240 | 1406951537 | t3_2ccp2q | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by coating my apartment in a mix of skunk juice, tomato chunks and baby shampoo, the glass of an entire balcony door and my blood
I would like to tell the story of my night last night to you since it is literally the most bad luck I have experienced in a 12 hour period...
So I was taking my dog on a m... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1406914664 | 1406915925 | t3_2ccpu7 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU By code blueing my room
Was in a hospital waiting for the doctor. Lights went out. I saw a white circle light which I thought was the lightswitch... and I ALMOST pressed it. I caught myself touching the button when the motion sensor turned the light back on. Not as bad if it actually happened but still ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1406913681 | 1406968260 | t3_2cco2g | t5_2to41 | 68 | OnThe65thSquare: TIFU by shooting a stream of highly concentrated mentholated fluid straight up my ass.
Good testicular hygiene is fundamental to balanced chi. The prized territory between the swinging bells and the inner thighs have been
a historical battlegrounds for natural flora. The swinging bells ring out an... | 4 | 17 | |
1406914840 | 1406991363 | t3_2ccq5i | t5_2to41 | 74 | SirMarcus4realious: TIFU by letting my friends shoot bottle rockets out of my butthole…
Story happened about 12 years ago, but I though reddit might still enjoy. Long time lurker first time poster.
Before I get to the bottle rockets I need to tell a little back story. So, all of my childhood was spent trying to be coo... | 3 | 24.666667 | |
1406916076 | 1406926045 | t3_2ccsf2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | labyrinthian_lexicon: TIFU by going to Martha's Vineyard
Today is the first day of a ten day vacation to Martha's Vineyard, and naturally I am traveling by boat. I left very little wiggle room when driving to the ferry terminal (who leaves early? For me it's all about just barely making it). As a result I was a tad rus... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1406915963 | 1407108770 | t3_2ccs7k | t5_2to41 | 526 | AF9: TIFU by surfing without a wetsuit
So I am far from the worlds best surfer but practice makes perfect right? Well, the only decent surfing beach within walking distance of my house is quite a dangerous one (underwater reefs, majorly stone bottom and hidden rocks) so it was waaaay hotter than usual today and I kinda... | 9 | 58.444444 | |
1406917579 | 1406918626 | t3_2ccv4l | t5_2to41 | 11 | spottedmusic: TIFU by peeing in the great outdoors while not paying attention
Edit: This happened a good while ago.
So it all started with having a late night discussion with the ex. She was complaining about us not spending enough time with her family. So I naturally insisted that we go with her cousins and uncles o... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1406918097 | 1406931078 | t3_2ccw0t | t5_2to41 | 10 | thatoneguyjayrad: TIFU by walking into my bosses office and asking to go home
This happened yesterday, but I walked into my assistant bosses office asking if I could go home early due to not feeling well. I work/used to work at Sprouts Farmers Market in San Diego. I had requested the next week off cause I am going up... | 5 | 2 | |
1406918191 | 1407674722 | t3_2ccw7q | t5_2to41 | 89 | [deleted]: TIFU by spoiling my own surprise party.
--SPOILER ALERT--- This isn't an over the top f-up. It's merely a life lesson that I think everyone should know.
Turning 40 soon. A few years ago I expressed the desire to have a surprise party once in my life. Wife put it in her vast memory bank and planned on using ... | 8 | 11.125 | |
1406918979 | 1406919563 | t3_2ccxmm | t5_2to41 | 16 | LetsGoYoloBro: TIFU by being a mooch
I lost my contact solution during a recent move and have just been leaving my contacts in. Which is a bad idea. So I got paranoid about it this morning and instead of buying solution, I just used my roommates. But she has a different brand. I use OptiFree and she has some crazy 3% h... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1406917466 | 1406979378 | t3_2ccuxf | t5_2to41 | 29 | bikelessbro: TIFU by trying to upgrade my bike for free
so this happened a while back but I thought i'd share.
I take the train from San Francisco to Palo Alto to get home.
I ride a bike to and from the station so the bike goes on the train with me. If you are unfamiliar with the bike/train system you park your b... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1406922754 | 1406964078 | t3_2cd4fh | t5_2to41 | 10 | superkrazykatlady: TIFU i had this brilliant idea to save some menstrual blood for an art project so...
...i collected it last month. i fucked up today by opening the container...*gasp and *gag...old blood is foul and smells so horrifying.
[deleted]: Feminism is a horrible monster and needs to be stopped. This shit is... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1406922699 | 1406926351 | t3_2cd4c4 | t5_2to41 | 25 | tomthetrololol: TIFU by having sex with my Ex.
So here's the deal, We were together for 6 years and were awesome until 2 weeks ago when she confessed to having slept with someone else. It's a little complicated, we talked about an open relationship but other all I considered it cheating and we broke up. Fast forward to... | 5 | 5 | |
1406923508 | 1406924086 | t3_2cd5ry | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by accepting some VHSs from a coworker.
No long story, woman I work with was getting rid of her father's VHS, thought they were just Anime tapes and I was the only one she knew that was interested in Anime. She left them near my work place, since she got out before me. I take them and have a look, pro... | 3 | 2 | |
1406924059 | 1406926756 | t3_2cd6si | t5_2to41 | 5 | RandiRoo: TIFU because I tried to be independent
TIFU because I tried to handle shit on my own. I have a super overbearing father. I'm going to college in Sept. and let me tell you, I cannot wait. Anyway, I got an email from said college today saying I needed to correct my FAFSA so I went upstairs to do so, trying to b... | 5 | 1 | |
1406924274 | 1406955921 | t3_2cd75w | t5_2to41 | 50 | BeBeatinCakes: TIFU by asking if there was a dead body in my coworkers trunk
My coworker had just gotten back from a week off of work. His brother had committed suicide and he was the only one living within the country so my coworker was responsible for cleanup and going through the belongings. It's my coworkers first ... | 8 | 6.25 | |
1406925273 | 1406998981 | t3_2cd8yn | t5_2to41 | 2,977 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a flirtatious assumption about my date's personal hygene
edit: The [audiobook](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf_T6nG02Pc&index=28&list=PLl0DkyQa9Aqu_aWjvjzvySIZC8PHUPPO6
) by [Cyae1](http://www.reddit.com/user/Cyae1).
Happened a few days ago.
First date at a bar for drinks, felt a ... | 15 | 198.466667 |
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