start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1351449462 | 1351634511 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | ConstableOdo: TIFU by thinking head hair waxed like eyebrow hair
So I was waxing my eyebrows and upper lip today. I am a lucky woman, I don't have dark body hair. It's just dark enough I can see it if I get close.
Anyway, I had some left over hot wax and decided "You know, I really have always hated my prominent Wido... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1351450479 | 1351544303 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | GravyMaster: TIFUpdate: Guy who pissed his GF's bed.
Original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/124dg6/tifu_by_pissing_my_girlfriends_bed_shit/
So I ended up sending her a long-ass text apologizing for pissing the bed. She didn't respond for about 40 minutes, those 40 minutes were a very nervous 40 minutes. ... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1351483468 | 1351693163 | null | t5_2to41 | 184 | [deleted]: TIFU by unintentionally quitting my job
So the situation isn't resolved and I'm feeling anxious about it, so I thought I'd share how badly I fucked myself over. Rewind to a couple days ago, Saturday...
I opened for my first job from 5am-10am, but they asked me to stay later because they needed help. I said,... | 9 | 20.444444 | |
1351513997 | 1351571063 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,374 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting in a date's bed
Last night, I had a great date and great "festivities" after. While he was showering this morning, I thought I would pass a small bit of gas under the warm covers. Instead, I released the diarrhea. On the white sheets. It smelled so badly! He came in and saw my face, but didn... | 11 | 124.909091 | |
1351513377 | 1351527368 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | taparty: TIFU by getting drunk and washing my hair.
Well, about two nights ago.
I've been friends with the guy I like for about a year now. Every time we're at the same party I always end up drunker than he is and he always feels the need to take care of me. I hate it because he makes me feel so useless. This past wee... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1351484420 | 1351617514 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | fish_kicker: TIFU and left a coffee up on top of my car... again!!
Just that. I sort of collect coffee mugs. Once again, I left a mug on the top of my car, full of piping hot, freshly brewed french vanilla. I realized it when I pulled out of my drive way and heard the tell-tale sound of ceramic tumbling down the back ... | 3 | 1 | |
1351520852 | 1351579403 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Onideum: TIFU by sniffing chili powder.
I was cooking this morning and i used some red chili powder. i cupped some in my hand to dash around the wok and my dumbass curious self thought "hey, ive never known what chili powder smells like, why not find out now?" i take a big ol' whiff, halfway through i realize what ive ... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1351542141 | 1351549086 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | njs016: TIFU by possibly accidentally blinding my do in one eye
So last night I was playing with her and it was in the dark, she had a ball in her mouth so I reached out to grab it from her and accidentally poked her in the eye. I checked her eye and it seemed fine, however today it's looking much worse. Her eye is sli... | 3 | 6 | |
1351543644 | 1351710024 | null | t5_2to41 | 127 | themech: TIFU by being a horny teenage boy
Okay so today i got home from class, and was studying when suddenly hormones hit me like Muhammad Ali. While going to my room to fap myself into Nirvana, i remembered i was out of lube. But that's not going to stop me right? DEAD RIGHT. So while looking in the medicine cab... | 9 | 14.111111 | |
1351564068 | 1351633220 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU(actually last week) and "fucked" many sheeps
So, I was bored in class with nothing to do, had lurked /b/ the night before and was (between classes)listening to Sheep(by Pink Floyd) so I figure that if I created a story about fucking sheeps it would be funny.
I started telling this story to nearby class... | 9 | 1.111111 | |
1351589662 | 1351621101 | null | t5_2to41 | 670 | halloween_tifu: TIFU by preheating the oven.
My roommates and I are having a monster mash on Halloween. Lots of people will be coming. We all chipped in for candy. I think it was seventy bucks' worth at least but we no longer have the receipt (you'll soon find out why). My roommate Claire bought a shitload of awesome s... | 10 | 67 | |
1351582580 | 1351630419 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU I insulted my gf.
So me and my GF were talking and I got REALLY personal about her life with her abusive Dad and dumbass me says" I guess he regrets you" now she's pissed and is not answering texts/calls. WHAT TO DO!!!!!! yes I am a dumbass.
VAGINA_PLUNGER: Sex always works
DumbassDoyle: Uhh, false. T... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1351588573 | 1351992257 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | B7U12EYE: TIFU I made out with my roommates girlfriend. My roommate is female.
Yup. Apparently gay is a spectrum, is what she said
dunceinator: What the fuck is this...
B7U12EYE: Fuck you
dunceinator: No, what the fuck is this? This made no sense whatsoever, three other people agreed with this, and you got downvoted, ... | 20 | 0.55 | |
1351618944 | 1351670815 | null | t5_2to41 | 341 | [deleted]: TIFU by offering an incredibly nice African American gentleman a ride home from work, forgetting that this past weekend a huge group of friends climbed into my car during a party, and someone wrote an incredibly racist word on the wind shield.
So, to be clear I am in no way racist. one of my friends is racis... | 6 | 56.833333 | |
1351617599 | 1351634083 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU and mixed up the due date on two assignments after asking for and receiving extensions on two assignments in one week
The worst part is I promised my professor I would add them to my calendar, which I did, but I put it in as Tuesday instead of Monday. Now, since I asked for two extensions last week, whi... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1351396562 | 1351636578 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | EpsilonShawn: TIFU by cutting close in front of an eighteen wheeler to get to my exit.
Those were the tightest two seconds in which I maneuvered across to get behind some other vehicle that was slowing down in the exit lane. Major adrenaline rush. Sorry to all the truckers out there who have to deal with drivers like m... | 5 | 1 | |
1351625811 | 1351655607 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | RMYinYang: TIFU by getting Brink
So this was back when Brink just came out.
My parents had been away in Arizona for the week and I was home alone in Texas. I had just recently gotten my driver's license and had some money that I wanted to use up. As it turns out one of my friends reminds me that Brink just came out tha... | 5 | 1 | |
1351636613 | 1351810356 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU - I put a liter of windshield wiper fluid in my coolant reservoir
I own a new 2012 Ford Fiesta with 950 miles on it; I just bought the thing this past August.
It was around 40 degrees Fahrenheit out and I wanted to refill my windshield wiper fluid reservoir. Needless to say, I wanted to get this over ... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1351636623 | 1351716949 | null | t5_2to41 | 132 | mustangsixer: TIFU by telling my girlfriend I love her...
... at a halloween party. I was shit faced and it just came out. I like her alot but I dont feel like im at the point to where I know thats how I feel. I cant just tell her that I only said it because I was drunk. That would break her heart.
mikeyfxt: Love is ju... | 9 | 14.666667 | |
1351666933 | 1351878733 | t3_12czcg | t5_2to41 | 12 | FarFromXanadu: Clearly you've never met one. They are like the bundling giants of the dog world, so big and cuddly they accidentally know over a few breakable priceless antiques and sit on a few laptops in their innocent way. They're really the friendliest dogs!
qu1ckbeam: Bumbling giant? Bungling giant? The debate i... | 4 | 3 | |
1351642099 | 1351826551 | null | t5_2to41 | 216 | [deleted]: TIFU Taking a piss in the dark.
Alright, after holding in my piss for a very long time while procrastinating here on TIFU I decided that it was not a good idea to be reading humorous stories with a full bladder. After finishing up the fuck up i was currently reading I decided it was a good time to take a toi... | 7 | 30.857143 | |
1351668560 | 1356153366 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | adeason: Tifu by not paying my water bill, long shory stort, my shower has been on for 9 hours...
Turned the shower on. Realized the water had been cut off due to roommates lack of knowledge on the cut-off date. RAGED, being able to not shower before work SUCKKKKS. Went to work, got a message from roommate stating the... | 13 | 3.153846 | |
1351677258 | 1351681244 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU and may have ruined my future by submitting an assignment a day late
Basically I am an idiot, I have a terrible work ethic and loath essays.
After two years of trying different Univeristy courses, I decided I wanted to study science. As I did not have the prerequisites for the course, I was forced to g... | 3 | 5 | |
1351659368 | 1351688376 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | roxtaratx: TIFU: Just A Normal Night At Pluckers Right?
Me: decent looking guy flirting somewhat successfully.
Waitress: Smoking hot with amazing eyes
I had already said some pretty off the wall things: I came with a guy friend and we had been waiting on another (f)riend. the waitress made a coment like "i started ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1351685192 | 1352267818 | null | t5_2to41 | 966 | MySonStinks: TIFU and accidentally wounded my son's face
So my kid and I are roughhousing before he goes to bed. It's a hoot! Quality time for everyone. Happy memories all around. Until, in a moment of frantic, ticklish thrashing, he slams his face into the edge of the TV stand. It ripped his forehead open, and of cour... | 12 | 80.5 | |
1351735683 | 1351922236 | t3_12eejl | t5_2to41 | 40 | THEDumbasscus: Nooooope (No-p) versus Nopeeee (No-pee) I'd take the first one...
trouphaz: Why? You want pee?
THEDumbasscus: Yes.
EXCITED_BY_DOWNVOTES: THEN GO PEE, YOU CUNT
THEDumbasscus: Ahhh, that feels better.
EXCITED_BY_DOWNVOTES: GOOD, NOW DO YOU PREFER NOPEEE YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD
THEDumbasscus: NO, NO I DON'T. ... | 7 | 5.714286 | |
1351691579 | 1352309664 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | psqhcf: TIFUpdate: Slept with a co-worker on the way to her welcome party. Now she thinks she's my girlfriend.
Original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/11aysf/tifulast_night_actuallyand_slept_with_a/
A _lot_ of people replied that this didn't sound like a fuck-up at all.
A lot of other people said somebod... | 6 | 8.5 | |
1351696071 | 1351705012 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | prussianiron: TIFU by breaking a TV and an Xbox
This actually happened a couple months ago, but I was just reminded of it.
Me and my dad like to wrestle around frequently, and we tend to get a bit rough (He's a 19-year Marine and I'm a hopeful Marine) and pretty into it. Well this particular time I decided to attack h... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1351703479 | 1351770130 | null | t5_2to41 | 513 | [deleted]: TIFU by superglue-ing my hand to my jingle jangles at work. And got a ticket.
At my work place if a plastic piece breaks or a screw is stripped on a computer we're fixing, (computer repair) which does happen from time to time thanks to people bringing in these ancient laptops, we use super glue.
I was worki... | 10 | 51.3 | |
1351715001 | 1351768794 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU while walking out to check my mailbox. I waved to my neighbor who then accidentally backed into his wife's new SUV. Now they are arguing and it looks like their 3 kids aren't going to trick or treat.
who8877: Seem more like it was his fuck up.
GiJoeyVA: Yeah, but I feel bad for distracting him while ... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1351723095 | 1351809375 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,391 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a dump on my friends face
Here's a little bit of back story.
Last week my friend pranked me. He took as much fish as he could buy , and put it in my car. I got out of school and went to my car, only to find that my car smelled so bad I could barely drive it home. Needless to say I wasn't very ... | 12 | 115.916667 | |
1351728160 | 1351766330 | null | t5_2to41 | 227 | omgwhymewhy: TIFU and showed a photo of my nether regions to everyone behind me in lecture hall.
Last night my friend told me that some vaginas are abnormal. I've never thought about this before and naturally sought to discover whether or not my vagina looks the 'right way'. My next step was to take a photobooth photo ... | 6 | 37.833333 | |
1351728364 | 1351735570 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | ElseCompel: TIFU by puking explosively in what I thought was an empty bathroom
Today I had two slices of pizza for lunch and they didn't really agree with me. I slathered them both in the bottle of Tapatio that I keep on my desk (nary a bite of food passes my lips without being doused in that shit). Feeling satisfied, ... | 4 | 15 | |
1351734567 | 1351943255 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | [deleted]: TIFU By Not Locking My Door
Good Evening Reddit, How Are You Today? I'm Doing Horrible.
A Little bit of a backstory i've got a very strict upbringing and my parents never talk to me about sex or anything like that.
So earlier today my great 16 year old logic thought it would be a perfect time to fap, even t... | 8 | 11.125 | |
1351724480 | 1351742108 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost setting my parent's house on fire.
I was making some left overs... there was some chips and queso in the refrigerator. Since the chips get soggy and gross in the fridge, I thought I'd just put them in the oven for a few minutes.
I set that badboy to broil - Hi - of course. I sat down to play... | 4 | 4 | |
1351733434 | 1351788964 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU and broke my neighbor's side-window on his car.
Today while preparing to give out candy to all the local trick-or-treaters, I spy a cat just strolling along down the street. Nothing out of the ordinary right? Well I continue what I'm doing and about a minute goes by when i start to hear the cat hissing ... | 6 | 5.166667 | |
1351736880 | 1351922059 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | THEDumbasscus: TIFU by jumping the gun
OK, so, I'm a high school freshman (5'7'', well built) who came from being pretty shy because of horrendous background I'm not going into right now. At this new school, I had a lot more confidence in myself. Let's just say, at this school, there aren't cliques, you grow together ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1351791883 | 1351837085 | null | t5_2to41 | 198 | We_never_met: TIFU by getting caught masturbating
Home alone before my son gets home from preschool, after a shower I was reading on my bed when I thought, eh, I've got some time. So I went to town with my vibe and I didn't keep it quiet. Next thing I know I hear, 'uh, sweetie...." My husband had come home at lunchtime... | 7 | 28.285714 | |
1351803468 | 1351915767 | null | t5_2to41 | 717 | KGlitz: TIFU by shaving my balls. Poorly.
So early this morning I (a male) decided to shave my nether regions in anticipation of sexual activity tomorrow. I debated over whether to trim with my electric manscaper or use an actual bladed razor. I figured shaved clean would look too weird so I went for the trim.
I set ... | 15 | 47.8 | |
1351808791 | 1352139012 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | Dentonhere: TIFU and crashed my mom's car into the new kid's park!
so i had to go into town today to pick up smoke's, nothing new there.
walked out the front door and sat in my car realizing someone used the rest of my petrol and the nearest petrol station is too far away to make on what i got.
my mom kindly lets me us... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1351809129 | 1351825248 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | BBoxall: TIFU by eating a ton of candy. I'm a type one diabetic.
Today, is as you know the day after Halloween. My little brother split his candy 50-50 with me because i wanted to stay home. I have had type one diabetes since I was two years old. I now cant sit still and have o write a 500 word essay for science.
Xodi... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1351808598 | 1352093001 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU At Work
It was actually two weeks ago.
I work at a large fruit and vegetable market in Brisbane Australia, and i'm a forklift driver.
Every day i've got to lug tonnes of fruit and vegetables to different shops around the place.
Two weeks ago i was given the task to Take one giant pallet of mangos to a s... | 3 | 5 | |
1351811735 | 1351825967 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by spilling spoiled cafe mocha on myself and four others.
BACKSTORY: I am a sophomore in high school. I am known to be clumsy and forgetful therefor Mondays fucking suck for me. So this was actually Monday. I have before school marching band practice so I get up at 5:30am and go to bed at around 11pm. E... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1351828675 | 1352177955 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | theonethatlived: TIFU by answering the phone when an ex-girlfriend called.
It was worst than I could have imagined: it took nearly an hour to get a sound driver installed on her laptop. I'd almost have preferred an emotional breakdown over doing doing tech support right before bed.
xhosSTylex: Shoulda got laid, dudebr... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1351873238 | 1351888876 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,610 | pissing_angels: TIFU a cougar stole my splooge
hey everyone. i tried posting this in /r/relationships but it seems to have gotten lost in the sea of tears over there.
i went home with an older woman at the bar last friday. i'm 25, she's at least 15 years older than me, and the entire time during the course of our se... | 9 | 178.888889 | |
1351881703 | 1351960535 | null | t5_2to41 | 420 | Estranged_Noodle: TIFU By getting black-out drunk and waking up with (what I believe) is my colleague's period-blood all over my chin.
Fuck.
Last night I went out with a bunch of my colleagues to grab some drinks and to wind-down. There was 10 of us - mostly the younger crew from the office - and an even ratio of gu... | 7 | 60 | |
1351882992 | 1351911866 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | wow_im_an_idiot: TIFU a big job interview.
So I'm hooked up with a job interview that is a 33% salary increase from the job I do now... obviously I'm making sure all my ducks are in a row about this and dotting every i and crossing every t. At this point I should mention I'm a total fuck-up in everything that I do, li... | 4 | 14 | |
1351886160 | 1352349606 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | sharpie9000: TIFU by drinking ants
I was rushing this morning to get to work because I slept through my alarm, so I didn't have time to grab a water bottle like I normally do. I thought I was saved when I got to my car and realized that I had left a vitamin water in there from the night before. It wasn't until after I ... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1351918326 | 1351922371 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | The_Otsoko: I broke my friends laptop
rya11111: i am really sorry for you but i have to remove your post on violation of rule 1. start the post title with "TIFU" and kindly repost :)
The_Otsoko: Sorry xP let me repost it in a while. Having to do this from alien blue and have to get pro
| 3 | 1 | |
1351947525 | 1351960374 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by saving my friend and now I'm gonna get my ass kicked
My friend and I were supposed to meet two kids in the park who had beef with us and wanted a fair fight to end it all. We decided that we should just go so we could get it all over with right then. Instead of the kids who were supposed to come they... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1351923010 | 1352338116 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | deviousxevious: TIFU by getting so drunk I didn't feel myself getting off before my partner tonight.
First off, a note to all that may be interested: I always make it a point to have my wife get off before i do. Now to the main story. I have had quite a bit of some vodka tonight, however the wife barely had anything (o... | 5 | 3 | |
1351975120 | 1351999586 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,047 | burntballs: TIFU by cleaning up my "mess" with napkins my roommate used to dry Ghost Pepper seeds...
So yesterday (yes it happened yesterday) my roommate met a girl, I'd seen her a few times because she came over, but today he decided to go over to *her* place. I was pretty happy, as anyone would if they had the house ... | 11 | 95.181818 | |
1351978506 | 1352011137 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by destroying my friends' house
So since Hurricane Sandy hit I figured I would get really drunk. I went to my friends' house (there's like 6 of them living there) and started drinking casually. Suddenly my casual drinking progressed into very heavy drinking and before I knew it, I was raging. I had a lo... | 4 | 3 | |
1351980967 | 1351982878 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU my two month old galaxy S3.
I have been using Android phones for a while but have never tried my hand at rooting one. Last August, I got a t-Mobile Galaxy S3. After using it for a while, I got annoyed with the touch wiz UI and was getting impatient waiting for the jelly bean update. I decided to root m... | 3 | 1 | |
1351983732 | 1352124737 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | aft3rm4th: TIFU by getting a blowjob in a movie theater
Just happened a minute ago.
Me and the girlfriend are currently waiting to see paranormal activity 4, sitting all the way in the back row. Well when me and her get together we usually end up getting "adventurous" whether it be the rooftop of the Dallas Galleria, ... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1351990026 | 1352917848 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU And Smoked Weed
so last night i smoked weed for the first time. im 16 and i thought i may aswell because most of my friends smoke and my friend had offered to buy us some. so we roll up a couple of spliffs and start smoking. i then proceed to roll a puree (just weed) and get intensely fucked. So at this... | 9 | 1 | |
1351991042 | 1353096158 | null | t5_2to41 | 128 | [deleted]: TIFU by my leaving my masturbation tool in my bed
Like most girls, I masturbate. But sense I'm to embarrassed to buy a vibrator and I live with my mom, I use my toothbrush (a separate toothbrush than the one I use to brush my teeth). My mother never cleans my room but today she decided to and I had left my t... | 6 | 21.333333 | |
1351994179 | 1352151970 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | TheRealZaros: TIFU by try to climb over a fence and getting metal almost like barb wire in my asshole.
This didn't really hurt but I was with 2 friends that when they got to the top they jumped off, but me I tried to climb down the other side.....
Edit: Because you assholes wanted more description here you are, So we... | 8 | 2.125 | |
1351998841 | 1352074458 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Hjillmam: Tifu and decide to snort salt
I was out at mcdonalds with a few friends and started pouring salt into a pile for entertainment. I'm associates with the manager there and he said that no one would snort salt. So I took the challenge and rolled a dollar and well snorted up. It was the worst idea to ever attempt... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1352003165 | 1352005416 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | IAmA_Fisted_Asshole: TIFU by trusting a fart.
Pretty self explanatory. I've had diarrhea over the past few days, which included having a rather sore stomach so I was pleased to wake up this morning and enjoy a pain free breakfast.
After that I sat down on the couch to use my laptop and felt a small fart coming along. ... | 4 | 26.5 | |
1351999106 | 1352017010 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidently sneezing while urinating.
s
DubstepCheetah: how do i make the face with the cool eyes and the open mouth, because that has never been more appropriate.
Also I did this today, minus the ripped urethra, just piss all over my toilet.
theaarona: ಠ\_ಠ
| 3 | 15 | |
1352016816 | 1352255845 | null | t5_2to41 | 195 | notrodblas: TIFU Approached by a girl, and rejected her...
Ill start by saying i'm new here so forgive me for not exactly sharing an amazing story, but here it is. I am a college freshman, so the whole college experience is something I'm trying to get used to. Having all this free time to do whatever I want, go anywher... | 32 | 6.09375 | |
1352036472 | 1352159426 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Madocvalanor: TIFU by tipping my bookshelf over onto my monitor.
So I was doing a bit of spring cleaning and decided I was going to try to sell some of my older books. Now, my book case is over five feet tall and is chock full of hard back books, game guides, dvds, blurays, and what not. I even have a ROB at the very t... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1352058941 | 1352092771 | null | t5_2to41 | 183 | [deleted]: TIFU: changing a wheel.
So today, we were going to take the Land Rover Discovery for a bit of an off road leg stretch, but we noticed we had a flat tyre just before leaving. I grabbed the Hi-Lift jack out the back and placed it on the underside under side of the bullbar to raise the front corner up. Got it i... | 10 | 18.3 | |
1352062657 | 1352064333 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Paquito233: TIFU by shoving my face in between a girls legs.
edit: the title should have said a girl's legs.
Me and my friends were having a party and after everyone left it was just a group of me and my close friends. We decided to jump on the trampoline, because we were bored. This g... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1352063343 | 1352066308 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | Paquito233: TIFU not actually today but 8 years ago, I lit my friend's rug on fire.
I was at my friend Andrew's house. I got the wonderful idea to put a candle out with a paper towel. Solely by coincidence the paper towel caught on fire. Panicking like any 7 year old would do, I threw the napkin on the ground. I starte... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1352123627 | 1352302905 | null | t5_2to41 | 108 | grazwolf: TIFU failing hard with a certified shag from a hot goddess
Gorgeous blonde bombshell who I've had missed opportunities of hooking up with in the past came to my house tonight after drinks and even said she'd stay the night and have a spa with me. Then, and this is WHERE I FUCK UP AND CANNOT GET OVER IT, I a... | 6 | 18 | |
1352125276 | 1352142135 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | imnotcooldude: TIFU by having sex with my friends sister and stealing her from my other friend.
TL;DR at the bottom.
This happened on friday at a party out in the bushes, everybody had a good time and were pretty drunk. I noticed Johnny trying to pull this girl for so long and when the party was slowing down I went up... | 3 | 12 | |
1352125591 | 1352208353 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,043 | Modus_Pwninz: TIFU by slapping myself in the balls during sex.
Long story short, in the wee-hours of the morning after my fiance got home from work, we decided to have some sexy times.
She likes having her ass slapped pretty hard, so while she was riding me, she asked for me to slap her ass. She specified that I do it... | 8 | 130.375 | |
1352130509 | 1352144208 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | JackRig95: TIFU by taking a shit in a strangers house and dirtying everything.
I work delivering leaflets all over England and yesterday I was delivering on the outskirts of Lancaster, about 150 miles from home. I'd been delivering since 6am and now it was reaching about 3pm and I really needed a shit. That bad I was ... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1352127544 | 1353801259 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Volke78: TIFU: I lost the tip of my index finger.
Well, not much to it, my finger got caught between a log an a hard place while I was splitting wood. It was yesterday, and I'm about to head to surgery now. I believe I lost the last quarter inch of my right index, and most of the nail is gone. What really hits me is th... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1352133568 | 1352144823 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU when my housemate caught me stealing rice.
8 other people and I share a house near our university. We're strangers to each other, but we get along well. Technically I have fucked up almost every day since I moved here this September by stealing food from all of them.
It's never big things. A spoonful o... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1352140154 | 1352219853 | null | t5_2to41 | 373 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking around my apartment naked while our new kitten was in attack mode.
This was just a couple hours ago, and has been probably the second most traumatic event of my life.
I was rushing around my apartment (naked) trying to get ready for class, doing ordinary things like starting the shower, pick... | 10 | 37.3 | |
1352147005 | 1352276595 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | wiseblueberry: TIFU by mangling my bf's penis during sex
This actually happened last night. So I'm a lady and yesterday was the first day of my period. Ordinarily, I would use a diva cup, but much like a tampon, that has to be taken out any time you want to have sex. Last night, I decided to put in an instead soft c... | 7 | 17.428571 | |
1352151787 | 1352213337 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | cb31: TIFU by making every seventh grade boy's nightmare come true for my boyfriend.
EDIT: I am not in the seventh grade, nor is my boyfriend. I am 20, he is 22. We are legal consenting adults. I am bad at writing titles. No children were involved in the making of this horror story.
OP:
This weekend, I was really dr... | 5 | 13 | |
1352167381 | 1352421786 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU breaking my noes by blowing it.
So as the title says I just broke my nose. I have a nasty cold so was clearing it out, forgot to brace the opposite side of my nose, pressed down, and then *SNAP* "FUCK!"
Now I am looking in the mirror at a crooked nose and is swelling up
Needless to say I will be goin... | 3 | 3 | |
1352173462 | 1352181363 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my brothers jar of Vaseline on my lips.
So reddit, I will share my crisis with you. I'm a younger brother who's older brother moved out about 5 years ago, the two of us had shared a bathroom. Anyways I'm doing the routine in my bathroom like any other morning: brushing, showering, combing etc. ... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1352174776 | 1352247035 | null | t5_2to41 | 485 | AirOrFourOhFour: TIFU and sent a Dick pic for the first time - to the wrong contact
Today I was texting a woman who wanted me to come over for, you know, science. She was relentless in pleading for a picture of my equipment and I held out for as long as I could for many reasons - I never send erotic pictures because of... | 13 | 37.307692 | |
1352178365 | 1352263891 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Klainette: TIFU by picking a shitty roommate.
My family is in a bit of a precarious financial situation so we rented out our spare bedroom to someone. Dude is a 20-year old college student who, to be honest, looks a bit like a chubbier version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. (that's pretty irrelevant though.) Anyways,... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1352179045 | 1352249252 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Helios177: TIFU by Breaking Bad
Was bored, way to impatient and lazy to wait for my Breaking Bad torrent and I googled "watch Breaking Bad online" clicked sketchy link then I realized "Fuck! Sketchy page probably has virus" then proceeded to get BSoD and pop ups, so I sent it in at my schools last week fo Quarter and c... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1352185735 | 1352262359 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally having sex with my gauged penis (slightly NSFW)
Like the title says I had a hole in my penis (more specifically the frenum) and during a night of drinking decided to put a size 6 plug through the hole. Being under the influence of several jager bombs I didn't feel it at all. I woke up th... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1352221870 | 1352224338 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | Muckles: Tifu my driving lesson
I just realy fucked up my driving lesson (just one lesson and not the final exam). Basically I was driving to fast (what I normaly never do), I was missing the same highway 3 times and I was driving too far on the right side. I know that isn't funny or interresting as the other posts her... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1352231458 | 1352240111 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | oc974: TIFU I voted Libertarian in a swing state
I'm normally an Obama supporter, but I figured "Hey, all my other friends are probably going to vote for him too." Besides I'm a Libertarian at heart. On my way to lunch I saw so many Romney supporters (Virginia is a very important state in the election, because in the l... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1352227356 | 1352311692 | null | t5_2to41 | 284 | armersuender: TIFU and texted myself the time to wake up instead of actually setting my alarm.
Yup and woke up three hours late. Hopefully nothing eventful happened in class. : \
Autumnsprings: so um...when the hell did you receive the text?
armersuender: Probably shortly after I sent it, but I had my phone on silent ... | 9 | 31.555556 | |
1352240304 | 1359674416 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,397 | _wait_what_now: TIFU by getting my hand stuck in a tampon dispenser machine
in the bathroom at work, i realized i needed a tampon. i found my last quarter, thought "Wow, this'll be the first time i've ever used one of [these machines](http://www.picable.com/Architecture/Interior/Wacky-Industrial-Bathroom.29698) !" and... | 12 | 199.75 | |
1352241174 | 1352304335 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | skrillexisokay: TIFU wiping
College student. Dealing with business in the bathroom in my hall. I'm not sure how it happened, but I somehow managed to leave a piece of toilet paper on my ass. I guess I started wiping and then didn't finish it off by dropping the paper in the bowl. Little did I know, the tail of the defi... | 5 | 23.6 | |
1352251670 | 1352259228 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | esh484: TIFU and didn't register to vote in time so I couldn't vote.
I'm a dick.
Erikster: Alright. Then don't whine if you don't get the results you want.
esh484: Believe me, I wasn't planning on it.
Erikster: Alrighty then....
So, planning on voting next election?
esh484: Absolutely.
Erikster: Good to hear.
| 6 | 1 | |
1352251095 | 1352414379 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | throwawayshittypanda: TIFU by flooding the bathroom
I live in a college dorm, and my room shares a bathroom with the room next door. Think of two rooms, connected by a single bathroom. Also, our plumbing here REALLY sucks.
I needed to take a massive shit, and figured our toilet could handle it. I was REALLY wrong. I c... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1352254874 | 1352261894 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | poisondwarf: TIFU by getting embarrassingly drunk, passing out on the side of the road, losing my new phone, buying a new one then having somebody find it
I got completely hammered on Monday night and made a fool of myself at a local club. During the 5km stumble home, I apparently lost my new HTC One XL phone. I hadn't... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1352260201 | 1352275529 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | johnshumaucher55: TIFU by eating my dog's poo!
Two nights ago my Mom made some awesome brownies, was having them cool in the fridge, and we had to put my dog's poo in the freezer overnight for the vet, I got mixed up late in the night, crawled out of bed and ate the dog poo out of the fridge instead of my Mom's brownie... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1352159386 | 1352267786 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | spunkytime: TIFU by losing my phone twice in one night.
I haven't had power for a week so I was at a bar where my friend is the bartender and was charging my phone. I went up to Penn Station to catch the train home and realized I had left my phone so I waited for her while she came uptown and gave it back to me. Half ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1352272330 | 1352327803 | null | t5_2to41 | 130 | [deleted]: TIFU and ended up naked in bed eating cake batter
I'm a nurse and I just started taking sleeping pills to try to help with the shift work. Because I give out the exact same medication to half my patients at night with no adverse affects, I read into the side effects but didn't take the obscure ones seriousl... | 7 | 18.571429 | |
1352265056 | 1352294136 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by rolling a joint and now I am being drug tested
So anyways it was Halloween and me and my friends decided to roll a joint. we were all worried about how we might get drug tested by one of these two scenarios: 1 cops might catch us 2 we might have an annual physical exam from our doctors. so forward to... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1352285813 | 1352338180 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | bornes: TIFU by listening to a fake thunderstorm to put myself to sleep
I recently moved into my grandparents home. They have TVs on constantly, even to sleep. One of them is semi-deaf so it is super loud. Lately I have been going to sleep via a white noise generating website so I don't have to hear the voices all nigh... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1352301243 | 1352342951 | null | t5_2to41 | 878 | MadSusie: TIFU putting my lasagna in the oven.
I spent an hour making home made lasagna, and just when I was about to put it in the oven...I missed. The pan tipped over, and everything spilled out.
http://imgur.com/l8ITU
FluorescentShadow: did this with a pan of what we call here 'Wedding cookies' <just some nuts ... | 10 | 87.8 | |
1352272001 | 1352314768 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | MadMikeLove: TIFU by spilling my pubes everywhere.
(actually about a week ago but put off till now to post it.)
No throaway. I fully admit this stupid fucking mistake.
My mother bought me a hair trimmer for facial hair about 3 years ago, but since I clean it pretty often, I also use it to manscape. Since I cant buzz ... | 3 | 9 | |
1352315650 | 1352389850 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU Falling asleep at the wheel
TIFU by falling asleep at the wheel. I was driving home from a friends house last night after smoking down and watching biodome (great movie I know). The whole drive I had been tired as hell, both from sleep deprivation and being stoned. I had been struggling to keep my eyes ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1352316115 | 1352382954 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | WolfDawg: TIFU by falling asleep...
So today during a lecture based around the history of design, we were covering the changes to graphic design due to the changes in other forms of art. Then it hit me, I could feel my eyes closing slowly, my body collapsing on itself, and my head drooping down.
I gave in for what se... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1352320740 | 1352330138 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | mynamescortlandt: TIFU by walking and talking bareback...
http://i.imgur.com/7snlQ.jpg just about says it all
ShadowBlade69: I'm slightly confused (not a smartphone owner): does bareback refer to not having a case to protect it?
[deleted]: I hope so haha. It a joke between my friends cause its like, "using a phone wit... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1352338087 | 1352342785 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by picking up a fake spider decoration.
It wasn't a fake spider decoration.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.
UndercoverThetan: I going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but there was a story just like this, which made it to at least the first few pages of reddit, only like 1-3 days ago. Prepare to defend your... | 4 | 1.5 |
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