start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1407449760 | 1407452432 | t3_2cxc12 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Forever_Man: TIFU by eating a cupcake.
Pablo_expat: That's not a fucked up...is just an anecdote
Forever_Man: Fair point there friend, I guess having red poop seemed more fucked up than it is.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1407449788 | 1407494061 | t3_2cxc2l | t5_2to41 | 7 | Usernade: TIFU by insulting Barbara Streisand
I'm sorry and I hope this is ok because like so many...I did not do this today. reddit I fucked up in 1981-82. I was 7-8 years old at the time I really don't remember. My father had become acquaintances/friends with Barbara Streisand through a mutual friend. I know he was e... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1407450344 | 1407607004 | t3_2cxd0y | t5_2to41 | 8 | fostersgold: TIFU: by throwing out practically important document that I own.
Just had the most sickening realisation that in the process of clearing out all my stuff ready to move out that I threw away a folder containing:
Paper driver license
MOT documents
Service History
Registration docs
Infact the only docume... | 4 | 2 | |
1407296584 | 1407455193 | t3_2cr6tn | t5_2to41 | 5 | TheMrGladius: TIFU by being caught jerking off in a friends bathroom
This wasn't today, however it was just a couple of days ago.
TL;DR Went to friends house, needed to jerkoff, got caught and then laughed at later about it.
For the entire summer I had been up at my grandfathers house helping him clean out his shop... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1407453228 | 1407500380 | t3_2cxhtg | t5_2to41 | 16 | CobiaHunter: TIFU by running over and killing my dog
I live on a small farm, and had two dogs, a 12-year-old Chihuahua and a 2-year-old Toy Poodle. On Tuesday when I came home, my husband had already gotten home and let them out. After I came in the front gate, the dogs both ran up to my truck, like they always do. I a... | 4 | 4 | |
1407453692 | 1407457267 | t3_2cxijq | t5_2to41 | 6 | cindyscrazy: TIFU by being honest at Animal Control
Background - I own my own house and my sister and her family moved in a few years ago. She lives here free of charge, but makes dinner and cleans the house. She is a VERY loud and opinionated person.
Today, me and my 15 year old daughter went to the animal shelter ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1407453143 | 1407455583 | t3_2cxhor | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by informing someone of their unzipped fly
So I live in San Francisco and you see a lot of interesting people on a daily basis, especially on BART (the subway). Last night on my ride back home a pretty big man enters my train at Civic Center. The train is essentially empty but he chooses to sit directly... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1407454641 | 1407695210 | t3_2cxk28 | t5_2to41 | 49 | thirtysevenandahalf: TIFU by accidentally swearing to a customer that I would murder everyone he cared about.
I work in a call center doing tech support. I was on a phone call, not talking much while waiting for a file to download when a coworker who is a good friend of mine walked by and messed with something on my de... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1407454677 | 1407735166 | t3_2cxk4b | t5_2to41 | 9 | MegaNasty: TIFU by becoming a redditor
Realistik84: I believe women who spend enough time together do unify their cycles. Real talk
[deleted]: It's actually scientifically proven that women that spend a lot of time together start having the same cycle. I apologize on behalf of all women for making your lifes very har... | 9 | 1 | |
1407452519 | 1407475245 | t3_2cxgn8 | t5_2to41 | 12 | TheTigerInSpace_: TIFU by taking my lizard outside after feeding him
This happened about an hour ago. I fed my lizard (a blue tongue skink) some scrambled egg and turkey yesterday, and today I took him outside so he could get some sun. Usually, he doesn't poop until a couple days after he's digested his food, but he re... | 3 | 4 | |
1407455912 | 1407508418 | t3_2cxm3n | t5_2to41 | 155 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting into an argument with a homeless man over ducks.
So today was a shit day (this really happened today, by the way). I just got home from this encounter. Anyways, I had just taken an exam for my summer class, bombed it, and was pissed. Instead of going straight home to drown my sorrows, I figur... | 5 | 31 | |
1407458448 | 1407638355 | t3_2cxq12 | t5_2to41 | 413 | Spyke9001: TIFU By masturbating with headphones.
My cousin and I have always been close. Even living several states apart, we always made time to chat and see how things were going. When it was time to go to college, she got accepted to a university near me.
Obviously we hang out every chance we got. One day while wai... | 7 | 59 | |
1407455245 | 1407466049 | t3_2cxl21 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Fire_In_The_Skies: TIFU by losing a gator in a professional football stadium
As I type this is happening.
I shoot pyro for a company that has a contract with a N F L team in the Midwest. I drive the gator that tows the huge flame thrower boxes onto the field for the pregame ceremonies.
About an hour ago I was deliv... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1407456653 | 1407464927 | t3_2cxn70 | t5_2to41 | 9 | nmbcgh: TIFU by sending a stranger on craigslist a link to my favorite porn
So I'm trying to sell some spare wheels I've got for my whip, right? Throw them up a craigslist, bada bing, no biggie. All of a sudden, POW I have like 5 responses. What does any wise man do in this situation?
.....that's right, have a fa... | 3 | 3 | |
1407458893 | 1407459363 | t3_2cxqqc | t5_2to41 | 8 | Altec319: TIFU by Calling my Teacher a "Stupid Whore"
Back in elementary school, we began learning french in the fourth grade. Every day we would practice reading simple stories in french so we could learn to form the sounds used in french speaking. I was part of a pretty seedy school, where most kids wouldn't do well ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407446146 | 1407494617 | t3_2cx5m4 | t5_2to41 | 16 | michealleeward: TIFU by driving
well i have this pickup i use to haul trash since my wonderful community doesn't have a dumpster service. this pickup has the following items: 1) engine 2) transmission 3) whatever else is necessary to make the tires turn as the pedal is pushed. Everything else is broken/missing includin... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1407460000 | 1407528951 | t3_2cxsd9 | t5_2to41 | 67 | azziptaei: TIFU by sharting then getting stuck naked on a roof
This happened a few years back but is a great story and I just discovered this sub.
So one week in my final year of high school, I was off a few days as I had explosive diarrhea. So bad that by farting, I would have to change underwear and pants. Think tha... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1407459344 | 1407462537 | t3_2cxrey | t5_2to41 | 6 | khaotickk: [Long read, Gross] TIFU by giving myself a bloody nose and ruining the interior of my car.
I got off work at 6 pm, almost 2 hours ago. After I dropped my cousin off at the train station, I got onto the highway and took an exit to get onto the next highway. From here still have about 25-30 minutes left of dri... | 3 | 2 | |
1407456502 | 1407530462 | t3_2cxmzk | t5_2to41 | 14 | TBaginz: TIFU by forgetting to turn a fan on and almost costing a struggling production company $250,000 in damages.
I'm currently interning at a local production studio. We specialize in live broadcasts so naturally there is a lot of expensive, fancy-looking equipment everywhere that has to be well taken care of. One ... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1407459823 | 1407510195 | t3_2cxs45 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Lord_Edge: TIFU by feigning brain damage and making a complete ass of myself.
This happened sometime in Middle School. So there was this dude that I didn't get along with very well, oh... let's just call him Prickhead. We got into arguments and all that and he was just kind of a d-bag to me and anyone that he felt to b... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1407459051 | 1407485441 | t3_2cxqze | t5_2to41 | 14 | Hawkeye7696: TIFU By Thinking on my Feet
Note: I am 18 years old and my step-sister is nine years old.
I was eating dinner last night with my father and step mother in our living room. We were watching The Big Bang Theory on the TV. The step sister came into the room and sat down on the couch. This is when I fucked u... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1407462717 | 1407472095 | t3_2cxwjn | t5_2to41 | 70 | BatDick2069: TIFU by making a batman joke while being arrested.
This happened a few days ago, me and some buddies got pulled over and the cop said he smelled weed so he started searching the car, he found some pipes and some grinders so decided to call for backup. Backup arrives, we get put in the back of cop cars, the... | 6 | 11.666667 | |
1407462923 | 1407477054 | t3_2cxwvj | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by allowing my best friend to handle my jack-off paper and then making it much worse
When I was 13 I had a really weird system of jacking off. I didn't think of the classic toilet-paper-flush method, and being a scientific young lad I came up with my own method. What I thought was the most efficient way... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1407464237 | 1407468570 | t3_2cxyt8 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by not pursuing my hooter's waitress
SirDerp_Alot: You know where she works and her name. Why are you asking if anyone knows her and to pass on a message. Go see her yourself...? Not really a tifu since you left on good terms and have the ability to see her again quite easily.
YrocATX: No problem solvi... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407464855 | 1407528800 | t3_2cxzqj | t5_2to41 | 18 | S0rch3r: TIFU by jumping for joy
So after my gruelling years at Uni I passed and got a decent grade too all the while working in a local retail store.
Recently I've been applying for jobs in my area (anything to escape being a retail drone). Today I had an interview, it went pretty well and when I got home I felt pret... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1407467198 | 1407512005 | t3_2cy34z | t5_2to41 | 322 | puddingmedic: TIFU by giving a girl head
So I was with this girl, and we had just been on a date. Her family was home, but she still invited back to her house to meet them and what not. It was a nice evening, but her Dad was the "no boy is allowed near my daughter" kinda guy. He was a bit annoyed that I was over, so ra... | 11 | 29.272727 | |
1407467209 | 1407664782 | t3_2cy35p | t5_2to41 | 111 | razoman: TIFU by not being gentle
So this actually happened about 4 years ago when I was 16. A little about me: I'm a sporty guy, I was about 6' at the time and quite muscular due to all the sports. My high school was very cliquey so groups of friends stayed together mostly (I hated that and I spoke to pretty much ever... | 14 | 7.928571 | |
1407460185 | 1407530237 | t3_2cxsn1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | apachestop: [TIFU] I was really stupid. x3
OldieButNotMoldy: What the fuck did I just attempt to read 0.o
apachestop: What, bad formatting? Sorry, first post.
OldieButNotMoldy: I was up for 36 hrs so it was probably me, you did fine, I'm sorry next time I'll make sure I've slept lmao
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1407469498 | 1407537659 | t3_2cy6l4 | t5_2to41 | 21 | dowsingball: TIFU by having sex so loud my daughter ran away.
Last night my wife and I were having the kind of sex that we needed to have regardless of whether the kids were at home or not, because sometimes we both need for me to fuck the shit out of her. We didn't start until 2 hours after the kids went to bed (10 an... | 3 | 7 | |
1407470659 | 1407471105 | t3_2cy8ac | t5_2to41 | 13 | GODofTHEwastes01: TIFU A blow-job at a suicide seminar.
Ok so when I was in school i had a major crush on this girl (i just really wanted to do shit with her) so with my older brothers girl advice we convinced this girl to go to the boys bathroom with me but we had no classes together so we waited a long time because ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1407470608 | 1407481174 | t3_2cy87t | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by burning four baby bunnies.
keh12003: Then it all changed when the fire nation attacked.
yourm2: this might actually sound better than the original m.night shalamyan movie .
| 3 | 5 | |
1407471379 | 1407512345 | t3_2cy9bz | t5_2to41 | 11 | Arsestolemyname: TIFU by not updating my resume
Not today, but over the course of a few weeks. I just realized how badly I fucked up today.
It's the middle of summer, so like every other teen I've been firing off resumes left right and center to try and land some shitty retail job. I thought my resume was fine, up un... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1407470814 | 1407472129 | t3_2cy8j8 | t5_2to41 | 5 | KtreyB: TIFU trying to punish my dog
Ladies and Gentleman of Reddit, I present to you my fuck up today. Today I fucked up while trying to punish my dog. She is a scrawny chihuahua we saved from a local shelter. At 4 years old, she was bitten by other dogs at the shelter and mistreated with non-nutritional food and grea... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1407472875 | 1407473337 | t3_2cybgl | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU when I was 4 years old by shitting my pants in Sunday School and trying to cover it up.
pyrowolf8: Removed. Posts centered around defecation are only allowed on Saturdays
DerrickRosesKnee: Sorry. I'm fairly new to Reddit and I suppose I didn't read the rules clearly enough
pyrowolf8: It's okay. Feel fr... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1407474132 | 1407476108 | t3_2cyd21 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by lieing to my parents about stealing money and almost dying.
First off this didn't happen today. This happened when I was about 8 years old. Anyway a little background on the time. At the time my family was a devout Catholic family. Going to Church every Sunday and reading Bible verses each night as b... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1407480242 | 1407481211 | t3_2cyk56 | t5_2to41 | 35 | inthisboat: TIFU by wrenching my uterus out of place.
(Preamble! I posted this in /r/birthcontrol last night, after the fact, as it was a lesson I thought they would enjoy; I only realised this morning you fine folks probably would too. For anyone unsure, an IUD is a small T-shaped device inserted in to the womb - by a... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1407481423 | 1407483796 | t3_2cylat | t5_2to41 | 1 | TheDildoAccident: TIFU I'm a homosexual and I think my cousin has my dildo
I'm living with my auntie and my cousin due to money problems and I had bought a dildo recently from the local sex shop and had been practicing my "skills" with it and what not. (shut up) What I did to hide this now endangered secret is by placi... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1407482500 | 1407523634 | t3_2cymbu | t5_2to41 | 43 | holapaco: TIFU By throwing a party at my place.
Last weekend I fucked up by throwing a party at my place. Things started off okay like any usual party. My gf being a lightweight was the first to pass out drunk in our room. I kept drinking and partying and gf's younger sister shows up and she starts drinking and challen... | 6 | 7.166667 | |
1407473640 | 1408342391 | t3_2cycgu | t5_2to41 | 2 | will1816: TIFU By almost killing my friend
So when I was really younger, like 5 or so, I would do this thing where I would hug some really strong and kinda choke them. So one day, one of my friends wants to try. So, obviously, we go on these concrete stair handrails, cuz why not, and I do it. We proceed to fall of and ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1407478029 | 1407563268 | t3_2cyhqj | t5_2to41 | 6 | fataii: tifu by shooting one of my potbelly pigs with a pellet gun and later costing the zookeeper one of his balls.
This isn't a tifu but happened years ago in my childhood.
My mother loved pigs. She loved them so much she would have up to 4 of them living in the house as pets. Yeah, they stink and are messy...
I w... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1407483712 | 1407491683 | t3_2cyni1 | t5_2to41 | 3 | fruityway: TIFU by sexually assaulting a potential employers secretary after an interview... in front of him
[deleted]: Was she hot?
fruityway: hot? yes
| 3 | 1 | |
1407484776 | 1407493170 | t3_2cyogt | t5_2to41 | 4 | pulsefrequency: TIFU by being so fucking beta
henrebotha: Jesus Christ, dude, grow the fuck up. All this red pill, 'alpha male' bullshit is *bullshit*. You want to stop being pathetic? Treat yourself with a little respect. And *don't* fucking refer to women as "bitches".
pulsefrequency: oh geez why the fuck did i ever... | 4 | 1 | |
1407485141 | 1407512742 | t3_2cyoth | t5_2to41 | 864 | LozaInc: [NSFW] TIFU by fisting my girlfriend.
So today I fucked up. Well this was about a month ago but anyway. So me and my GF and very open sexually. We are always discussing sexual fantasies and things we haven't tried but would like too. So we was chatting one morning in bed about sex and my GF said to me: that sh... | 6 | 144 | |
1407486633 | 1407806652 | t3_2cyq3n | t5_2to41 | 156 | SuperBubblesMan: TIFU by falling for the old gas station con...
So the day started great. I just purchased my first car. A Scion xB. Got it for $4,500. I saved $500 on my budget. Perfect right? So here I am, filling up at a chevron gas station. My mom and little sister in the car. Up pulls this truck with a few TVs and... | 7 | 22.285714 | |
1407490402 | 1407559829 | t3_2cyt8t | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by miscalculating how long my boyfriend's parents would be gone (NSFW)
When I was 15, everyone was having sex.
I was one of them. I also had issues with my mom because I had been smoking weed (to which I was very bad at hiding), and cigarettes. My boyfriend was relatively the same though his mom wasn'... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1407497074 | 1407497246 | t3_2cyz4t | t5_2to41 | 11 | ChroniclesIY: TIFU paid on my credit card bill wrongly and now am down over 3k and leaving on a holiday in 4 hours time.
My main bank account which my pay check gets paid into has a wonderful feature where you can save people you constantly pay to.
So i have saved 3 banks for my 3 credit card bills
as i will be away ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1407495978 | 1407560669 | t3_2cyy1v | t5_2to41 | 12 | michealleeward: TIFU by leaving my barn door open
I was remodeling my kitchen not long ago and was tearing out old cabinets and I had been storing all the trash waiting to go to the dump in my 40x60 barn. Built in the 70s it had a few settling issues so the 12' horizontally sliding doors didn't close very easily. I lef... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1407494725 | 1407499307 | t3_2cyww5 | t5_2to41 | 8 | throwaway45num: TIFU by being to cheap to go to a doctor
Oh God, where to start.
Well, I've had a horrible stomach flu for about the last 3 or 4 days, but I really didn't want to go to the doctor. This flu has wreaked havoc on me, I've been puking and whatnot non-stop. Oddly, I haven't been shitting, even though I rea... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407482274 | 1407506518 | t3_2cym4g | t5_2to41 | 59 | Grimmbles: TIFU by being too drunk to talk pervy
Technically last night...
Went to my local watering hole with a female friend(just a friend). She had been cooped up for a while and just wanted to get out of the house. So we go to the easiest place, local bar that is generally just full of older gentlemen(it's a VFW... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1407500625 | 1408066184 | t3_2cz2t3 | t5_2to41 | 39 | mclollolwub: TIFU by deciding to crash at a friend's house
This happened a while ago but it's worth telling. So it was late night with my friend Ed and my other friend Edd and we were out drinking and smoking weed all night so Edd agreed to me and Ed crashing at his house for the night. So we got to his house and when ... | 5 | 7.8 | |
1407499988 | 1407509269 | t3_2cz24p | t5_2to41 | 64 | emilyeverafter: TIFU by attempting to buy a vibrator using a giftcard purchased from Gyft.
First off, let's not pretend that masturbation tools aren't something people buy. They are. I have no shame in admitting that I'm a sexually frustrated woman who has never achieved orgasm. I've never owned a masturbation tool, I ... | 13 | 4.923077 | |
1407480398 | 1407512268 | t3_2cykai | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking into the wrong movie theatre.
Voyager5555: Assigned seats?
[deleted]: The Ultra AVX has nicer seats, that you choose before hand. Supposed to be for a better experience I guess.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1407504987 | 1407512202 | t3_2cz8eq | t5_2to41 | 10 | teddy_rux_fuckin_pin: TIFU by being a gentlemen
Background time: I went on a date with a girl I work with last night. (I know don't shit where you eat.) Had a great time; couple of drinks and apps and took a nice walk around the the waterfront just doing some people watching.
We live about 2 miles apart from each oth... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1407505840 | 1407595990 | t3_2cz9oe | t5_2to41 | 242 | Big_D_Man: TIFU by not wearing my wedding ring...
I've commented before, but this is first ever post. Please be nice.
So a little back story first. I am happily married with one child however I am on my second wedding ring, not because of divorce or anything, my finger simply got too big for it (because of lifting).
... | 7 | 34.571429 | |
1407506505 | 1407535312 | t3_2czao5 | t5_2to41 | 5,633 | J_Kiniki: Tifu by spilling water at a job interview
While at a job interview receiving the same questions they always as "why do you want to work here" "what makes you qualified for the position?" yada yada yada... well when wrapping up the interview, I reach out for a handshake and hit the store manager's glass of wat... | 13 | 433.307692 | |
1407505138 | 1407531276 | t3_2cz8nm | t5_2to41 | 156 | TylerLyons: TIFU by unintentionally making the most fucked up statement possible to my boss.
Like most posts on this sub, this actually happened yesterday. I will start off with some back story. I am in the Navy and am an IT guy in a small office building. I am friends with a high ranking civilian that I will refer to ... | 9 | 17.333333 | |
1407507755 | 1407511089 | t3_2czcmf | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying anal
Not my fuck up but my friends..
So my friend was telling me how he finally got to do anal with his girlfriend for the first time. His parents went out to dinner one night so his girlfriend came over, and they started having having the buttsex on his couch. In the middle of it, his girlfr... | 4 | 2 | |
1407508352 | 1407516269 | t3_2czdlm | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my girlfriends towel to wipe my butt after showering.
Excuse the length.
This happened last night, but didn't have time to type it out.
So I'm taking a shower because I just got off work and am all sweaty and smell nasty. Yesterday I had a bad case of the shits with it being all runny and hav... | 5 | 14.2 | |
1407508182 | 1407518818 | t3_2czdc7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | dynobyke: TIFU by wearing my new 311 shirt to work.
When I bought it at the concert, I thought it was a nice sunset scene, with a pine tree in the foreground.
http://imgur.com/FuzFHiC
[deleted]: I wouldn't be too concerned. With a office that lets you have a neckbeard and wear t-shirts you should be fine.
dynobyke: i ... | 8 | 1.125 | |
1407510076 | 1407512084 | t3_2czgi9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | kiowa789: TIFU by itching my eye
So, after a good morning workout, you know what sounds good? FOOD! But being too tired to make my own food, the only place that orders moderately healthy food that can be considered "Fast" is Subway, to wake myself up, I loaded that mofo with jalapeños, jalapeño cheddar bread, creamy sr... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407510266 | 1407558383 | t3_2czgsm | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with a stranger
This actually happened a couple of days ago.. But today is when I got the bad news. I went to this party with a friend to a place I had never been before. Long story short I ended up having sex with a guy that I met that night. The next morning we parted ways. A couple of day... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1407511356 | 1407512605 | t3_2czika | t5_2to41 | 6 | nothatdude: TIFU by leaving my shower stuff at my girl's place
I've been staying at my g/f's place during the week because she lives about 20 minutes closer to work, and let's face it, everyone welcomes a way to decrease their commute time. Last week I brought my body wash and loofah sponge over.
I've got today off f... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1407511234 | 1407593734 | t3_2czids | t5_2to41 | 3,521 | ButtFuck39: TIFU by writing the most meta sex story possible.
I stopped watching porn about a year ago. There were a variety of reasons, but the important part for this fuck up is that I don't watch porn. How do I get myself off, you ask? I write sex stories. I get a story in my head, type it out, and do the deed.
He... | 15 | 234.733333 | |
1407512517 | 1407538807 | t3_2czkm4 | t5_2to41 | 23 | jorge_advertere: TIFU by being an idiot and falling for an online scam
You know when you hear about those emails sent by "His Highness The Prince Of Ethiopia" who has million dollars for you and JUST needs you to wire him $5000, bla bla bla?
I've been trying to sell an item on eBay for a while. Finally someone bought ... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1407515242 | 1407538642 | t3_2czpku | t5_2to41 | 17 | TrimHer: TIFU by giving myself the raging shits every morning for two weeks.
So, trying to be "healthy", I go to Costco thinking "Hey-TrimHer, it would be a good idea to buy yogurt and mix in some chopped almonds every morning for breakfast"...protein, a little fat, few carbs. So, I buy a flat of Activia yogurt and com... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1407515133 | 1407516573 | t3_2czpe4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | KryptonianZod: TIFU by sharting my pants at work.
Following what seems to be the trend on this subreddit... Sharting.
**NOTE: By no means am I good at formatting or grammar as a fair warning.**
This all started two days ago, with me looking at a delicious serving of Ghost Pepper Buffalo Wild Wings.
First off, I h... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1407515877 | 1407790598 | t3_2czqpy | t5_2to41 | 11 | I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH: TIFU By scaring a friend away (Written long and drunk)
So, this happened last year; I went off to my first year of university, after having spent the year prior working full time to pay for my tuition and residence fees -- I went to this university not knowing anyone, not having any friends there, a... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1407518308 | 1407528081 | t3_2czv57 | t5_2to41 | 31 | ebaythrowaway45: TIFU buying jeans on eBay
So I purchased a pair of Miss Me jeans on eBay last week and they came in yesterday. They were listed as pre-owned but said to have only been worn once. They were in excellent condition and looked brand new. I opened the package and I initially thought they smelled a little of... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1407517078 | 1407523381 | t3_2czsvi | t5_2to41 | 8 | SoundWolves: TIFU by refusing to carry someone's T-Shirt
TIFU so hard. Welp. You know those times when you do something small and things snowball entirely out of proportion? Yeah, that.
I'll start at the beginning.
My mother's boyfriend had recently basically cornered us into living with him for the second time; the f... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407518912 | 1407557149 | t3_2czweb | t5_2to41 | 148 | MoreIronyLessWrinkly: TIFU by simulating giving head in front of a room full of deans and department heads after being tricked by shittyaskscience. (Possibly NSFW)
> Oh my god. I did this in a meeting full of deans and department chairs. I hate you.
The above is the comment I made that resulted from the horror that... | 5 | 29.6 | |
1407517978 | 1407520746 | t3_2czuic | t5_2to41 | 11 | pickesandco: TIFU by getting a woman beaten worse by her SO...
So I went for some drinks this evening and on my way back there was an arguing couple. The woman was upset about her SO ignoring her and paying attention to every other female but her. She was clearly upset but the more she complained the more this guy go... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1407518831 | 1407524411 | t3_2czw7x | t5_2to41 | 92 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally having sex with my brothers future wife
Let's start off with the fact that I'm a girl. And like most girls I went a little off the deep end in college, and I had my little experiments with the same sex just like a few of the other girls I know today. When college ended though I got mysel... | 5 | 18.4 | |
1407516160 | 1407528066 | t3_2czr74 | t5_2to41 | 6 | TokeInTheEye: TIFU by having my protein shake early
So normally I would take my protein shake after a work out and be good. But today I took it before working out. I never do this because I think I might be slightly lactose intolerant. But anyway I'm halfway through my workout feeling pumped and generally happy. But th... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1407520311 | 1407545296 | t3_2czzaq | t5_2to41 | -6 | BBQ_Baby: TIFU by shoplifting
Let me preface it by saying that comments about it hurting the average employee will be lost on me so don’t even try. I know it’s wrong, don’t really do it anymore, just not a super moral person, and this was several years ago.
Anyway, I was shoplifting (what a cutsie name for stealing bt... | 8 | -0.75 | |
1407521709 | 1407609142 | t3_2d027q | t5_2to41 | 11 | septastic: TIFU by telling the Health Insurance Marketplace I got married.
8:31am today: Both my wife and myself have separate plans through the marketplace. After tax credit, we paid ~$100/mo premium, had a $500 deductible, and paid $15 for our office visits.
8:32am: I call the marketplace to notify them of our mari... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1407517651 | 1407567210 | t3_2cztwo | t5_2to41 | 9 | elfliner: TIFU by not closing my broswer
Went on a date last night. I go on dates pretty often with randos that i meet on tinder or whatever. But this girl I actually knew from a class in college. Anyways date went well. Had dinner, walked to a couple bars, walk home, I invite her upstairs just to show her my place... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1407523440 | 1407586173 | t3_2d05s6 | t5_2to41 | 416 | ford_f150: TIFU by telling my dad I jizzed, at school.
You might be wondering what the fuck is it with me cumming at school. Well, I can explain this time around.
Back in 8th grade, kids did a lot of stupid shit. During the time when the "Jizz in my pants" video by the lonely island was popular, me and my friend (we'... | 4 | 104 | |
1407525770 | 1407603446 | t3_2d0acy | t5_2to41 | 445 | constipated_giraffe: TIFU by thinking my new boss was quoting LOTR.
On my first day of my new position, I had a meeting with my boss. My boss is a nerdy middle aged man. We are both engineers. I wanted to bond with him over something. I generally want to be liked.
The president of our corporate group was supposed to ... | 20 | 22.25 | |
1407527937 | 1407528441 | t3_2d0e74 | t5_2to41 | 9 | ThatShoeGuy: TIFU by f**king my gf
Okay so a little back story, im in my mid 20s and so is my girlfriend, we live together in an apartment an we both work jobs, obviously living together we have sex.
Now this is where the fuck up starts I was finally getting my first tattoo i was really exited and she was gonna come ... | 3 | 3 | |
1407528526 | 1407533099 | t3_2d0fa6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by rejecting two hot women hitting on me so I could go to bed.
So traveling overseas I realize Denmark is FULL of gorgeous women. While I wasn't lucky with any of them on my final night there I went to the closest 7/11 to grab a bottle of water. I realize that tonight there are a ton of people out, drin... | 3 | 5 | |
1407528673 | 1407548715 | t3_2d0fjj | t5_2to41 | 106 | chillybonesjones: TIFU by not having sex with a sixteen year-old virgin.
So...this happened ten years ago but I didn't realize I fucked up until a few weeks ago.
When I was a senior in high school I was dating a junior. I was seventeen when I graduated and she was sixteen. I didn't think we were very serious, had just... | 6 | 17.666667 | |
1407530119 | 1407708552 | t3_2d0i45 | t5_2to41 | 5 | 4good2vibes0: Tifu by throwing away some rare magic cards
Well when I was 11 my dad gave me a box of magic cards. Well 9 of them were black lotus cards. When I turned 13 I threw them all away. I had grown out of the trading card games and had gotten interested in other things. Come to find out if I would have kept up w... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1407531628 | 1407541691 | t3_2d0kpp | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by pissing my friend's mom's bed, then proceeding to shit his sisters floor; I'm a filth mongrel
This actually happened about a month and a half ago, but it cost me about $150 and will forever haunt me. This past june I headed up to SanFran and the bay(yay) area to party during gay pride weekend.
I ha... | 3 | 1 | |
1407530634 | 1407539704 | t3_2d0j0u | t5_2to41 | 20 | pizzamosh: TIFU by peeing in a girl's mouth during head
So this happened to me a bit ago, but this story is from when I was with a group traveling to a foreign country. We were staying in this hostel, and this girl and I had hooked up a few times during our trip previously to this particular fuck up. Now as the night s... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1407532408 | 1407536089 | t3_2d0m2t | t5_2to41 | 3 | deepthoughts1: TIFU by ejaculating in my pants while making out with my gf
So I'm in my early 20s.. full of sexual urges. It's really frustrating when you have a girlfiend and make out with her often but never get off. We've dated for two months but no sex yet. So I've been blue balled many times (yes it hurts really..... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1407534161 | 1407604527 | t3_2d0p6m | t5_2to41 | 8 | I-trusted-you: TIFU by being "naked" in the park
So i wake up every morning on the weird days(Monday andWednesday) for XC practice. We didn't have practice one day and I decided to hit up my homie to make up for our fallen practice. We went for a run in the saharan heat and I was covered in sweat like a baby oiled pota... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1407533981 | 1407547375 | t3_2d0oum | t5_2to41 | 20 | animalplanetfanatic: TIFU by disobeying my mother.
Hi, reddit! I've been passively reading most of these TIFUs lately (and by passively, I mean without any written comment.) and now I have decided to post my own. Obviously this did not happen today, and I have a lot of other TIFUs that fortunately didn't happen today e... | 5 | 4 | |
1407526503 | 1407537382 | t3_2d0bnn | t5_2to41 | 12 | fuckthisshitimtired: TIFU by leaving out my to-do list for my boss to see.
I work as a lifeguard at the local pool. We're a pretty informal operation. My boss doesn't really come in during the summer and just lets one of the supervisors run it, which isn't ever a problem.
This morning, I had to work the 5:30-8:30 shif... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1407534855 | 1407814082 | t3_2d0qel | t5_2to41 | 31 | ThatVaseWasMahogany: TIFU by breaking my 90-year-old Grandfather's priceless vase, and losing the ashes of my Grandmother.
The day was Friday.
The day started as any other Friday.
The day was not any other Friday.
My children ran into my room and pounced on my bed, awaking me from my slumber. My wife walked in with a... | 6 | 5.166667 | |
1407536338 | 1407725095 | t3_2d0sw1 | t5_2to41 | 273 | mnmluver2598: TIFU by getting bleach in my asshole.
This TIFU happened about a week ago, and it has only been about three days where I can take a shit without writhing in agony. It seems that many people on reddit have a rather complicated relationship with their lower orifices :)
So anyways, it all started out with m... | 17 | 16.058824 | |
1407536157 | 1407563137 | t3_2d0skg | t5_2to41 | 28 | ToiletCloggerInc: Tifu (yes, today) by clogging the work toilet for the second time this week.
Hello Reddit
This isn't a "i shat my pants" story, no, i actually made it to the toilet. Which, in this case, is oddly relevant.
I'm a dude, and as a dude, i have a tight shitting schedule, this schedule is somewhat flexibl... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1407531246 | 1407549499 | t3_2d0k1k | t5_2to41 | 8 | wtfschmuck: TIFU by letting my brother drive my car.
Last weekend I made the trek from North Carolina to New Jersey for a family reunion. Rather than ride in a van with my sister's 3 young children for the 7.5 hour journey I decided that I would take my POS car up with my younger brother. I figured, hey it's made it to... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1407536960 | 1407543297 | t3_2d0txg | t5_2to41 | 19 | 0huehuehue: TIFU by taking a dump
Took a dump and started playing WordBase, battery died & put my phone on top of my boxers like I always do.
Stopped dumping my stuff into the toilet & pulled my pants up.
Forgot about the phone being there and suddenly it was in the toilet, covered in shit.
What a way to k... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1407537919 | 1407555785 | t3_2d0vg0 | t5_2to41 | 91 | Whatdididotoyou: TIFU by cold clocking a random bitch that thought it would be funny to pour a pitcher of beer down my back
[deleted]: Whoever does that to someone deserves a good smack. Hopefully you didn't hurt her too bad just enough to learn a lesson. **Don't fuck with people with their back turned.
[deleted]: Esp... | 7 | 13 | |
1407536709 | 1407546810 | t3_2d0tj8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | leRedditArmyStrong: TIFU by giving my phone to my gf
First I want to apologyse since english is not my first language and I dont know how to tell a story.
This just happened, my gf my bro and me went to the movies and on the line to enter the movie we started talking about relationships. Then came up a female friend o... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1407532881 | 1407572118 | t3_2d0myy | t5_2to41 | 5 | kamkamikola: TIFU by blowing up a flaming bottle
So this FU isn't from today but from two years ago.
My family and I are in Poland at my gran's house which is in a rural area and so it's possible to have campfires in the 'garden' (a field) without any trouble. We are having this campfire late at night and my gran has ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1407538884 | 1407626686 | t3_2d0wy3 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: [NSFW] TIFU by leaving my "soaking" cup out
This actually happened about a year ago but the whole scene is forever burned into my mind.
Pre-story: I had recently gotten a new piercing (the below the belt, bling-bling on my thing-thing, "gasp why would you do that" variety) and was doing the proper after-car... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1407540890 | 1407551639 | t3_2d1048 | t5_2to41 | 289 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my bluetooth speaker on while showering.
Let me set the stage for you as this all happened today. I'm currently staying at my aunts condo in California. My family doesn't get to see each other that much because we are all so scattered around America, it's rare to have so many relatives under ... | 6 | 48.166667 | |
1407542028 | 1407544996 | t3_2d11r6 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: tifu by smoking way to much pot and my parents are about to come home.
My parents left the house to go and work. So I was like, I should smoke a little bit of pot. Now it turns out that they're coming for lunch, and I just smoked the best, strongest blunt of my life. I'm blazed as fuck.
They'll be here in 3... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1407541274 | 1408221058 | t3_2d10oz | t5_2to41 | 410 | qbecker: TIFU by having sex in a greyhound(NSFW)
This did not happen today, rather about a week ago. ANYWHO.. I ran into this girl at wal-mart a few weeks back, we used to ride the bus together in grade school, and she recognized me in the store, so I got her number. Her and I hit it off really quick, fireworks kinda s... | 7 | 58.571429 |
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