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trumoi: TIFU by dreaming about crocodiles If it's within 24 hours it counts as "today" right? I don't care, anyways, last night, roughly twelve hours ago, I went to sleep angry after a fight with my girlfriend over something stupid. As such we both fell asleep in the wake of silence after the argument with phones in ha...
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5.5
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t3_2eaeg7
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3,747
FavoriteCustomer: TIFU by becoming AT&T's favorite customer (NSFW) Its a special day in every girls life. The day she gets to update her phone. With glee, rivaling only that of Christmas morning, I made my way downtown to the promise land. It was time. I knew I would have a long, border-line torturous wait, so I tr...
12
312.25
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1408754759
t3_2eaju0
t5_2to41
23
slappy012: TIFU by trying to by myself some coffee So I recently put in my 2 weeks notice in order to quit my job. As a result I've kinda checked out and stopped caring. So, last night I was doing the down run and one of the hotels I deliver too happens to be right next to a Tim Hortons. After I finished my drop at the...
5
4.6
1408728817
1408728971
t3_2eamk0
t5_2to41
4
Throwawayderpxerp: TIFU by browsing a /pol/based fb group and r/whiterights on my companies wifi. How fucked am I? So my friend follows pol and r/whiterights and sends me stuff time to time and I don't really care for it but I'll read the article so if my friend says anything or discusses it with me I'll know what he's...
3
1.333333
1408725134
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6
poisomike87: TIFU By bringing 2 cash registers down Today I decided that I would like to have a soda on my way to work. I filled up my cup placed a lid on it and went to the register. well..... I went to put the soda on the counter and it hit a display holding lighters and all 60 oz of it poured onto the counter. ...
3
2
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rabidfaux: TIFU by using my dishwasher (when it rains...it pours) This all started on a seemingly wonderful night at my apartment with my 11 week old basset hound puppy and my lovely wife, as we sat on our newly used sectional whilst watching Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show. Never, and I mean never, had my wife or I e...
4
5.75
1408729354
1408767310
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117
PM_Me_pugsNdrugs: TIFU by getting by swallowing my own sperm. So I had a "Friends with Benefits" relationship with this girl whom I always thought was a little on the freaky side (she has many toys and fucks black guys). She was into all sorts of weird stuff but to my surprise, she doesn't swallow. So when she went d...
4
29.25
1408731199
1408765505
t3_2eaqzd
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234
[deleted]: TIFU by admitting to my boss that I sleep with prostitutes So I walked into my boss' corner office today to bring him some paperwork. His desk is on the opposite wall of the door and the screen faces you so you can see what he's looking at when you walk in. Immediately he closes the screen but not before I...
9
26
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the31person: TIFU taking the trash out I am currently visiting my grandma's place with my brother and mom, and tonight my cousin and her dad came over for dinner. After we ate, my grandma asked me to take the trash out. No problem. I took the plastic bag and headed out to the garbage room in her apartment, but I stoppe...
3
1.333333
1408731290
1413331183
t3_2ear5r
t5_2to41
3
[deleted]: TIFU by cheating on my GF. So I had a girlfriend that I was so in love with, and the thing is, we were a long distance relationship. But I still loved her so much. We had recently gotten back together after a break-up that lasted 8 months. Before the first break-up, our relationship had last 7 months. After ...
4
0.75
1408734131
1408741312
t3_2eawhz
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9
[deleted]: TIFU by being a psychotic addict. Well here is a really big TIFU written with a throwaway account, because it contains a lot of personal issues in my life. - We'll start of with an introduction om myself: For several years I have been struggeling with severe mental disorders throughout my life. I was first ...
3
3
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25
fromnj32: TIFU by explaining marriage to my little brother. So I'm in my room, minding my own business, when my 9 year old brother walks in. "Hey fromnj32, when I get married I'm gonna..." "Wait you want to get married?" "Well yea, doesn't everyone?" "But then you'll have to be with one girl for the rest of your li...
3
8.333333
1408736566
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t3_2eb0tl
t5_2to41
4
parox91: TIFU by losing a brother So one day my my friend, let's call her... Rachel, and I were talking about random stuff and about our friend, lets call him... Ben. So Ben was brought up in the conversation and I said: "so Ben and I are Eskimo brothers, right?" Rachel responds: "What's an Eskimo Brother?" I respo...
3
1.333333
1408738847
1408759943
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138
SchwillyMaysHere: TIFU by taking my bottles and cans back to the store. I know not all states do this but here we take our cans back to the store to get the deposit back. The machines wouldn't take all of the cans so I needed an employee to count them for me. I pushed the button and a hot employee came out. I meant to ...
8
17.25
1408740893
1408868844
t3_2eb8an
t5_2to41
40
Accidentalanarchist1: TIFU by masterbating with AXE Apollo which burnt my skin to a crisp and now my penis is useless. So, I was traveling for work and forgot my body wash, grabbed some AXE Apollo at the Rite Aid next door to my hotel and took a shower. Later, after talking with my girlfriend and watching some stupid m...
5
8
1408725136
1408818842
t3_2eafu9
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1
Studlymofo69: TIFU by sending my girlfriend a picture of a hickey on my neck. So my girlfriend went off to college 500 miles away about a week ago. Then last night I was at my apartment at college and a few friends were over. I was texting my girlfriend all night and even told everyone about her. I even got shit for ta...
3
0.333333
1408743640
1408744701
t3_2ebd1o
t5_2to41
6
Syephous: TIFU, by pulling a prank in English class. This happened yesterday, but I'm honestly getting paranoid and shit. In English class yesterday, we had an activity where we go to padlet.com and have an anonymous discussion on a book. It went pretty well, but I had an idea that I thought would be hilarious. I fig...
3
2
1408743012
1408746985
t3_2ebbyk
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9
RigaudonAS: TIFU by dropping a cleaver. Just for some backstory, I had made some chili a few days before, and wanted to spice it up a little. I went to my little pepper garden and grabbed some ghost peppers. I went to my cluttered (this is important) counter, and got out the cutting board. I started cutting, and all wa...
4
2.25
1408744018
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39
vainblitzkrieg: TIFU by licking my own cum Like most TIFU stories, this one happened last night. I've been trying to get the courage to post this so I could get it off my chest and make myself feel better. I figured I might as well post it now. Last night the girlfriend and I decided to smoke some weed and have some f...
6
6.5
1408744178
1408748777
t3_2ebdxc
t5_2to41
5
12weekly: TIFU by using Nair on my genitals. [NSFW] I am a male. I had researched online and read the directions and warnings, so I knew there was a chance of violent misfire, but the success stories drew me in, as the clippers weren't getting it all and I don't like a blade that close to my downstairs mixup. It went w...
3
1.666667
1408747593
1408795362
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32
MushroomMountain123: TIFU by double tipping It was my first time ordering delivery pizza with a credit card. Apparently, you're supposed to write the amount you want to tip on their copy of the receipt, and they'll charge you for it afterwards. I thought the line on the receipt was just for writing down how much I tipp...
7
4.571429
1408749238
1408872027
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39
[deleted]: TIFU by dislocating my knee to get £5 The happened around 5 months ago. So me and a group of friends went to a roller-skating rink as a merry band of youths should in the summer holidays. Anyhow, this roller-skating place is stupidly overpriced and even refuses to give you tap water, which combined with a c...
7
5.571429
1408750839
1408783777
t3_2ebo31
t5_2to41
2
KittenReddit: TIFU by being a PS4 fan. So, I was playing an unnamed online game on my computer, and suddenly the topic turned to the next gen consoles. Soon, eveyone was talking about their game graphics on their Xbox one. Then, my stupid brain told me to say something about the PS4. So, I said "THE XBOX ONE IS FUCKING...
3
0.666667
1408750424
1408759628
t3_2ebngv
t5_2to41
32
notaus: TIFU by loosing my virginity. (NSFW) This happened almost 20 years ago when I was 16 years old. Being an army brat I've moved a lot around the world and always managed to make friends wherever I was, this is the story of how I lost my virginity and managed to alienate all the teenagers in the village I lived in...
3
10.666667
1408740048
1408784149
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68
[deleted]: TIFU by watching the IT Crowd Put on your [slightly bigger glasses] (http://www.quickmeme.com/img/a4/a4d9503f724273f1a6f38842424f60c62d876073b9361523b77e4d58d5c96dc8.jpg). Two weeks ago I opened a new bank account and needed to remember my account number. Naturally, I set it to [the tune of the British Emer...
5
13.6
1408748836
1408825561
t3_2ebl3t
t5_2to41
15
Frozenfire42: TIFU by listening to Nickelback It was on the radio. I thought the song would get better as it progressed. It didn't. wherestheblacksmith8: I've seen them live four times.... stabinthedark_: ...why? wherestheblacksmith8: Yes, *sigh*, on purpose, and because I happen to really love their music and have fo...
6
2.5
1408752663
1408841124
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t5_2to41
8
Stupidass666: TIFU by getting a black eye. TIFU - well, 2 days ago, but the effects are only apparent today. I had finished washing a pile of dishes and was futilely attempting to remove my rubber gloves. I have this weird anxiety issue with rubber gloves, and when I have trouble getting them off, I can start having ...
3
2.666667
1408753238
1408764724
t3_2ebrf7
t5_2to41
34
lilpoopsalot: TIFU by not wiping front to back... This happened a few years ago when I was still in college. I had a gyno appointment scheduled pretty early in the morning. I slept at my BF's apartment the night before, and i needed to poop that morning while i was getting ready. In my sleepy stupor i forget the golde...
6
5.666667
1408754891
1408755475
t3_2ebtp2
t5_2to41
2
[deleted]: TIFU when my foreskin got torn apart. So, it was a really good night. Music on, it was a starry sky and me and my ex was both in the mood for some good sex. BUT. I was too hasty. With no foreplay and horny as a goat, I thrusted my womb broom in her without a second thought of if she was wet. Needless to say,...
3
0.666667
1408747232
1408782541
t3_2ebipl
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435
jkRollingDown: TIFU by asking a 7 year old if she was straight Well, by "Today" I actually mean "Several years ago when I was an immature 12 year old". So, back when I was 12, my family went camping with a few other families. The other kids on the camping trip were mostly guys around my age. However, there was this o...
6
72.5
1408755864
1408792204
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42
rosaliezom: TIFU because I spoke without listening. Here's a quickie for you At work we have a smoking area that everyone congregates on break time, including the higher-ups. I walked in on a conversation between my immediate supervisor and the operations manager. I hear OM say, "...and they gave me a week off work f...
4
10.5
1408749925
1408805406
t3_2ebmro
t5_2to41
2,582
glithert: TIFU by getting a glass of water with no water in it I just went to the kitchen, got a glass, put ice in the glass, went back to my room, sat down, tried to take a drink, got very confused, and then realized that I never actually got any water. Then, after I had gone back and gotten the water, I tripped and ...
8
322.75
1408755796
1408828564
t3_2ebuyn
t5_2to41
9
[deleted]: TIFU by trying my luck being a mysterious admirer to woo a guy So this guy at work, he basically played a part in hiring me. So beautiful i could die looking at that face, the biggest blue eyes you'd ever see, as deep as an ocean. Lips so perfect you wonder if he was blessed enough beauty to beautify 10 peop...
8
1.125
1408758218
1408760057
t3_2ebyal
t5_2to41
3
gnats_ass: TIFU by witnessing a crime I went outside last night about 10pm to have a smoke when I noticed two kids picking up bikes and riding them out of my neighbor's fenced backyard. I knew something was fishy so I went & knocked on my neighbor's door and told him what was going on. So he jumps in his truck and ...
4
0.75
1408760594
1408787592
t3_2ec1gf
t5_2to41
84
kamahaoma: TIFU by not taking off the belt Today is my anniversary with the GF. Last night I was at the beach, and I didn't rinse off or dry properly before changing back into my clothes. When I got home I showered and left my damp shorts in the bathroom with the belt still in them. Today I went to wash them, and whe...
4
21
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18
[deleted]: TIFU by using the elevator trick. Like so many others this TIFU happened before, about a month ago. I was on vacation in a 16+ story hotel and wanted to use an elevator trick where you push the floor you want and the door close button at the same time and then hold them until the door closes and it brings y...
4
4.5
1408761571
1408768394
t3_2ec2rw
t5_2to41
11
GNasty49: TIFU by electrocuting my lip. TIFU by being near my computer and talking to my crush. We were talking and I had to play with something like twirl my hair or play with my thumbs.. something of the like. I mindlessly decided to play with my latop charger, just swinging it around and playing with it, while talki...
9
1.222222
1408767039
1408769220
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9
[deleted]: TIFU by engaging in a night of shitty whisky, teenage alcohol tolerance and regret. Beforehand, I apologise for the wall of text. This didn't happen today, but happened last Thursday. That day, I had received my A level results and successfully got in to the university I had applied for, so it was safe to s...
5
1.8
1408765692
1408822555
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545
sodathrowaway1: TIFU by ignoring gas and solubility laws in the name of a soda Throwaway because a friend saw this happen, and she reads this sub. This particular grievous error began yesterday when I went with a friend to go watch a movie we'd been hyping for several weeks. We brought four sodas with us (I don't ofte...
7
77.857143
1408769138
1408876041
t3_2eccka
t5_2to41
3
Dr_Mysterious: TIFU by yelling at a car. 6th grade the Middle school (where I live it's 1-4th grade Elementary, 5-6 Middle School, 7-8 Junior High School, 9-12 High school,) is just a 5 minute walk from my house which is about every school up to 8th grade. I walked with about 3 other people and we all go down my street...
4
0.75
1408767912
1408865632
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1,940
bernadactyl: TIFU by believing an april fool's joke for nearly five months. Back at the end of March I spied [this post by my absolute favorite author.](http://www.jim-butcher.com/posts/2014/dresden-files-coming-to-broadway) As person whose favorite book series is that, and whose favorite actor is Hugh Jackman, I just ...
11
176.363636
1408769554
1408813547
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t5_2to41
4
[deleted]: TIFU by going to see Guardians of the Galaxy. A few weeks ago, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy with a friend on opening weekend (yes, this is one of those late TIFUs), and it started off as one of the greatest theater experiences of my life. I met a friend of mine in the lobby before the show, he gushed about ...
3
1.333333
1408769694
1408804591
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87
GoingOutInTheTrash: TIFU by glancing at my dad's computer to check the time at Starbucks (advice would be nice) OK what you need to know first: I'm 13, he always locked his computer whenever anyone glances at it but this time he didn't. Both my parents are conservative Christians. We're sitting at a Starbucks in Flori...
12
7.25
1408749779
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t3_2ebmju
t5_2to41
4
LAURABUSHKILLEDAMAN: TIFU by saying "niggy" near a black man in a Wendy's Out of context, that sounds horrible-which is exactly why IFU, because I said it out of context! Anyways, I have three little brothers, one of which is named Nicholas aka Nick aka Nicky (when he was much younger). Nick went by Nicky until he wa...
3
1.333333
1408770334
1408793970
t3_2ece0c
t5_2to41
21
antony1197: TIFU by putting my dad in a chokehold... My dad and I never really got along, he inst abusive (normally) he's just a dick for the most part (wont go into that). Well tonight my little brother was upset at him over something stupid and I was standing nearby listening to the argument. Well then I see my dad...
3
7
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1408866963
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15
isntthisacoolname: TIFU by asking my GF to calm down Its about that time of the month again and I was talking to my gf/exgf (idontevenknow) and we got into a fight about how she is annoyed with being at her sisters in laws (complicated). She started cursing and yelling at me over the phone, I proceeded to tell her to...
7
2.142857
1408771652
1408994151
t3_2ecfjy
t5_2to41
50
jake_rawr_meow: TIFU Letting my girlfriend browse through my phone screenshots So, this sadly wasn't today, but it was in the summer and I was at the University getting classes fixed out. My girlfriend and I were sitting on a bench by the park and she and I were browsing through some of the gifs and pictures I had save...
3
16.666667
1408774156
1408824072
t3_2ecibi
t5_2to41
49
Saucesnail: TIFU by putting a tampon in my nose I got a pretty bad bloody nose today and it just wouldn't stop bleeding, so I thought "well, tampons are for bloody holes. My nose is a bloody hole. I'll just put a tampon in my nose." I stuck it up there and it worked pretty well up until I could see the blood seeping do...
4
12.25
1408775644
1408812367
t3_2ecjso
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118
[deleted]: [NSFW] TIFU my moaning too loudly As said in the title this is NSFW for obvious reasons. Today I was off work and decided to have some fun with myself. Normally I pleasure myself the exact same way. A bit of lubricant, same motion.. Etc. Well today I tried something different and that was the mistake. I *n...
5
23.6
1408777460
1408787383
t3_2eclhq
t5_2to41
6
c14soccerking: TIFU by not paying a traffic ticket I didn't actually fuck up today, though I'm paying for it today. Last fall I got a traffic ticket for running a stop sign on campus (University of Arizona). I was pulled over by a campus cop who was also on a bike. I never took care of the ticket.... Fast forward to t...
3
2
1408749995
1408878359
t3_2ebmur
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9
t3cm3n: TIFU by not reacting when a friend of mine suddenly blacked out Today me and two friends of mine (lets call them T and R) went camping in a plot of land owned by T's parents next to a forrest. By the time we arrived there everything was fine and we had great fun assembling the tents and preparing the fire pit. ...
6
1.5
1408779565
1408781324
t3_2ecnap
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11
[deleted]: TIFU by flashing one of my neighbors This did not actually happen today. About 3 years ago actually but I'm beginning to feel the repercussions now. So 3 years ago im hanging out with my room mate, there was much vodka and herb being passed around and since it was summer and we didn't have A/C I was in my ...
3
3.666667
1408780937
1408829820
t3_2ecoeo
t5_2to41
21
350ZisBae: TIFU by not picking up what the lady at Whataburger was putting down So I usually get water every time I eat out because it's almost always free. I always ask for a large ice water and they rarely give it to me, probably assuming that I will get a soda or something like that. So I order my burger and ask fo...
6
3.5
1408780987
1408819209
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29
reytr0: TIFU By playing with a giant jellyfish So right now I'm on vacation in a summer house at Marmara Sea in Turkey, and I go snorkeling every day. This was yesterday. I find cool shit like seahorses, starfish, big crabs, etc, nothing that extraordinary, and temporarily catch them. Well yesterday, I came across ...
4
7.25
1408783181
1408876550
t3_2ecq3r
t5_2to41
760
altNull: TIFU by hugging my friend [NSFW] Just found this sub, and I had to post this. It happened a month ago. I have a long distance relationship. The distance is incredibly hard, especially after meeting her and spending some quality time together. Well she had just left to for the first time, and we were talkin...
14
54.285714
1408786413
1408790470
t3_2ecsh3
t5_2to41
3
[deleted]: TIFU by pouring soda too hard Admittedly this wasn't just today, but 5 seconds ago. I just poured it too quickly and it caused the gin to splash a tiny amount out of the cup. pulsefrequency: Oh the most heinous of party fouls, the penalty is two shots [deleted]: I heard Americans are gun obsessed and violent...
4
0.75
1408783875
1408806039
t3_2ecqm6
t5_2to41
118
[deleted]: TIFU by realizing I am in love. Today I got drinks with a pair of friends I’ve known since my freshman year of college, but have spent very little time with. I made plans to get drinks with one of them, our mutual friend tagged along, which was fine. We got drinks, some appetizers, and then wandered aro...
3
39.333333
1408789799
1408809493
t3_2ecuwd
t5_2to41
16
Ohshitohshiii: TIFU by sharing (drugs are bad mmkay) This is the most terrifying and mind changing fuck up that has happened to me and I never want it to happen again. I had a synthetic drug that I had smoked a couple of times that created a huge mind fuck. You can't blink, you then can't breath properly and then your...
6
2.666667
1408777311
1408832001
t3_2eclcz
t5_2to41
12
stinnn: TIFU by accidentally confusing my coworker For work we use a group chat (Group Me) for our main form of communication during the work day. In the company I work for, getting promoted means moving to a higher volume location. This means more commission. I was recently moved to the highest volume location in my...
4
3
1408791035
1415133407
t3_2ecvtj
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28
d_bonez: TIFU by getting my pee on my face. I was about to head to the store to get more beer when I decided I needed to take a quick pee first. My housemate was waiting so I rushed into the bathroom and started my business. In case you haven't thought a lot about male urination habits, guys often shake the pee of thei...
3
9.333333
1408792752
1408820948
t3_2ecx4t
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93
CoolerMasterX: TIFU by practicing good cable management Gonna make it short since I'm typing with one hand. Recently our router went to shit, its old so I expected this to happen at some point. Get back from town, hook everything up, get it all working, etc... Everything is ready to go except the computer closest to...
5
18.6
1408796420
1408958685
t3_2ed02a
t5_2to41
563
The_Beaner: TIFU by riding my bike 14 miles (22.53KM) to work, only to remember i forgot my key as the bike lock clicked closed... If you know the Colorado Springs area, i live near Powers Blvd and work in Schreiver AFB. In an attemp to get in better shape, I decided to start riding my bike to work. I woke up at 3AM to...
10
56.3
1408795869
1408832291
t3_2eczme
t5_2to41
62
Trevor_johnson: Tifu by bringing only one pair of boxers. So this isn't really a "today" I fucked up but more of a "this week I fucked up'. So a very short back story. Every year we go on a family trip from Seattle to Montana. Well me being the irresponsible teenager I am. I didn't pack my bags until the day of so th...
5
12.4
1408797765
1408801750
t3_2ed19f
t5_2to41
6
[deleted]: TIFU by implying a twelve-year-old girl was a cross-dresser So this actually happened about a year ago, but I haven't been on reddit that long and I feel like I need to get this out there. So, I was 16 at the time, and when I'd walk home from school with a few mates we'd go into the local shop and buy a fe...
4
1.5
1408800524
1408896162
t3_2ed3y9
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22
IMACanadianAMA: TIFU by flashing girls at a vulnerable time I am very shitty at telling stories and delivering ideas, so please bear with me. This happened last night at the gym. It was a very quiet night and once my workout ended, I went back to the locker room for a shower. Usually, I am very self conscious about sh...
6
3.666667
1408800230
1408846825
t3_2ed3of
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chairscare: TIFU by screaming without thinking this TIFU happened about a decade ago when i was in high school but has still remained one of my most shameful moments that my high school friends still tease me about to this day. i was in math class and the teacher had us do an exercise with random partners that she ch...
9
55.444444
1408802530
1408827610
t3_2ed608
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237
IkeClanton: TIFU by assuming my kid was done pooping This happened last week and this is my 1st post. I SAH with 2 kids... Did I lose you there? Anyway, I was having a bad morning. Everything was rushed and chaotic. I was trying to get out the door, but every task was taking 10 minutes longer than it should've. My 1yo ...
5
47.4
1408803417
1408816067
t3_2ed700
t5_2to41
7
[deleted]: TIFU by trying to do the "Yeeah" thing. So I was hanging out with my friend. Our conversation went something like this: Me: "I'm a potato if Beavis and Butthead is better than The Regular Show." Him: That would explain your intelligence. So then I decided to do the YEEEAHH thing sarcastically to show the...
3
2.333333
1408805142
1415133398
t3_2ed90k
t5_2to41
6
be_unicorn: TIFU by putting water in my Nescafe mix I just woke up after a long night of partying, i put the Nescafe coffee mix in my cup and instead of putting hot water from the cooler i just went to the sink and filled the cup with tap water #truestory demhandz81: woah man you're living a wild life. MindOverManter...
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2
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[deleted]: TIFU by inviting a guy for a quickie in the car This happened a few months ago. I had planned to take this incident of utter embarrassment and guilt to the grave, but then i found this awe-inspiring subreddit. **Background** - I was low for quite a few months since my ex broke up with me, had gained a lot ...
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HunterSmoke: TIFU by spilling water on my friend's laptop I was at a get-together with a bunch of friends the other day, and we were all playing Minecraft together. We had just invented "pig jousting," wherein some players are in survival mode and ride pigs while waving around swords with knockback and other players a...
3
2.333333
1408807619
1408855658
t3_2edcc2
t5_2to41
2,983
TKches: TIFU by eating ramen in bed (Mild NSFW) My girlfriend and I were in our bedroom and I had finally convinced her to watch MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge) with me. I have the series on DVD and since we just moved in together, we had no internet and were stuck to the DVD player. Despite her resistance, sh...
12
248.583333
1408810248
1408904244
t3_2edg25
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30
Thisisabrahamlincoln: TIFU by having a threesome I am visiting a girl I met last year this weekend at a big 10 school - let's call her Melissa. She is a really sexy, curvy blonde girl and we got pretty freaky when we first met. Anyhow, fast-forward almost a year to yesterday and I am at her house (where I am planning o...
4
7.5
1408811181
1408812380
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Mrdrunkenbatman: TIFU by trying to put out candles with an air duster. We had fondue as an afternoon snack and the candles that are inside the fondue pot stand are not easy to reach so I blasted some air in to it from an air duster....... Turns out it is "F+" Which is really flammable. Set fire to the table cloth and n...
3
24.666667
1408812330
1408862784
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108
keirasocks: TIFU by shitting myself on a first date This happened Sunday, but due to rules on the subreddit it had to wait until today. So 2 weeks ago I was grazed by a car riding my motorcycle on the streets of New York. Pretty big hematoma (fancy word for big-ass bruise) and tons of blood under the skin. Rather pain...
5
21.6
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t3_2edjay
t5_2to41
2
[deleted]: TIFU by Putting my phone against the window that's over the kitchen sink. This happened yesterday. It started like any other day, the basement was cold as balls and my balls were cold and shrivelled. So i decided to go upstairs to grab a hot pocket. I grabbed my phone, went upstairs, and Put my phone agains...
3
0.666667
1408813689
1408836315
t3_2edl6u
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18
Dahlhouse9663: TIFU by kicking my door open I was at the age where I thought I was the coolest kid. If you're a guy you know what I mean. My grandpa and grandma we're visiting so I decided to go sit in my room because talking with grandparents wasn't cool. When I got to my room my door was shut. I never shut my door...
5
3.6
1408813985
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108
bachtobachtobach: TIFU by eating a spoon full of dead ants. So this happened when I was quite young but has never left my mind. I was playing a computer racing game known as POD when I decided to get some cereal. If I remember correctly it was Frosted Flakes. For whatever reason I didn't notice all the ants then and ...
6
18
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8
[deleted]: TIFU by not checking my work schedule earlier. Been studying for a exam for a couple of weeks now, If I nail it I'll keep getting money for studying, if I don't I'm fucked. Noticed today that I've got my first day of work at the exact same time as the exam. Already pushed my rent for month to await the...
3
2.666667
1408808215
1408847503
t3_2edd4v
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60
JonHenryEden: TIFU by Laughing at a Priest During Mass You guessed it, this didn't actually happen today, but rather several years ago when I was in high school. But hey I only found this subreddit last month. Here we go. I attended a Catholic high school and during high school I was on the cross country team. I absol...
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20
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throwawaybrbr: TIFU by not using a condom. A year ago, she said she was on birth control. 5 months ago she said she was pregnant but "didn't know until recently". 3 months ago she gave birth. Yesterday I found out it's mine. I'm 23. I don't want this. Spicypickels: If she lied about the birth control you can probab...
14
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1408816576
1408819872
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t5_2to41
3
Drkhazix: TIFU by eating a burger full of ants I saw a tifu about someone eating ants instead of frosted flakes. Brought back memories; When I was young i never knew what ants were, so one day my mom brought home mcdonalds and there was a trail of ants, and to my curiosity i started grabbing them and putting them insid...
3
1
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11
[deleted]: TIFU by getting laid at a BAD time. Im 16 and have been in an overall amazing relationship with a girl for 6 months, So today her mom asked if we could go over to her place and clean the house a little bit for some family that was coming in from out of state tonight while she was at work. This wasnt a proble...
3
3.666667
1408813876
1408859492
t3_2edlhg
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6
_Jimothy_: TIFU by making a bad joke to the wrong person/people So I was on my phone chillin' like a villain when I thought, "I should go on Instagram." Yes I have one and yes I'm a boy. Don't judge. Well, anyways someone posted a pro feminist picture captioned '#feministfriday. And by no means am I against equal ...
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2
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[deleted]: TIFU by trying to look cool around a group of girls I was out of state on a school related trip and we were allowed to visit the local mall. A structure I had never seen the inside of in my entire life, dammit! Ahem. You will see shortly why I feel the need to defend myself with such a disclaimer. In the di...
4
8.75
1408818973
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20
somesortofusername: TIFU by letting loose the poop cannon. Last night, I woke up around 4 AM because my butthole was hurting. It was hurting bad. Really bad. It was the most butt-piercing pain I have ever experienced. I figured there must be a really big, really hard piece of shit stuck in there and it wants to get out...
3
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1408817937
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bigdallaire: TIFU by sending my dad a bent-over nude First things first: this wasn't me fucking up, this was one of my friends who is a girl- so hopefully this story can stay on this subreddit. She gave me permission to post it. She doesn't go on Reddit and I just started to, and after browsing a bunch of these hilario...
8
48.25
1408820003
1408862803
t3_2eduuv
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6
JarryHonson: TIFU by telling my dad I hate him I got angry at my dad for grounding me for the third time this month, and i just blurted it out. Now I feel bad. Any advice reddit? Thank you reddit rxcowboy: Blow him. Nothing says I'm sorry like a nice BJ. silentthesneak: "See and that's why your sister doesn't get into...
4
1.5
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8
violettheory: TIFU by not eating dinner Like most TIFUs this didn't happen today, but happened about a year ago. I had just gotten my first real job that didn't entail working for a relative, and was insanely excited for it. The job was at a frozen yogurt shop, which seemed like a nice, cushy, slow paced and sweet env...
3
2.666667
1408822057
1409158556
t3_2edxyr
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3
[deleted]: TIFU by lighting a firework in my friend's house Last year on Black Friday, a bunch of my friends and I went out shopping. But hours before we left, I had the bright idea of purchasing some small fireworks. These were the small black spheres, called Crackling Balls. You light the wick and they pop a bunch of...
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1
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WHOOPSYDAISY8--D: TIFU by sending my mom a picture of a penis. So I had meant to send her a screen shot of some financial aid information.But instead of sending the picture I just pasted [the last link I had copied](http://imgur.com/jPKEKFa) on my phone. I had it copied from a reddit thread that I was reading in public...
4
13.25
1408821841
1408839303
t3_2edxnr
t5_2to41
8
tehmoley: TIFU by exploding buffet dressing I decided going to a buffet would be a good idea, because my scumbag pregnant-lady taste buds keep convincing me I want something and then the second I taste it I want to puke. So a buffet makes sense, I can taste a bunch of stuff and go with the least puke worthy selection. ...
4
2
1408825743
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t3_2ee3ht
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2
DontActDrunk: TIFU By smoking a real cigar So I've smoke a couple of swisser sweats before with friends and I enjoyed myself. Today I decided to buy some plantinums and tryout a real cigar. Mistake here I burned that thing like a normal swisser about halfway through I became light headed. I figure ok lets take a seat k...
3
0.666667
1408828494
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t3_2ee7l8
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19
[deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending nudes to my female friend whose dog just died. (M) I was taking some naked pics of myself for an internet hook-up buddy on Snapchat. Their snapchat usernames are fairly similar, so I quickly tapped her name and hit 'send', realizing moments later that I had sent it to my best fem...
3
6.333333
1408828806
1415133320
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10
AShadowOfDoubt: TIFU by lint-rolling my dick I just got back to college, and I'm planning on having a girl over tonight; I figured I'd be a gentleman and do some manscaping. I hop in the shower, get the necessary materials, and do what I had to do. As I'm stepping out, however, I notice a bunch of freshly-shaven hairs...
3
3.333333
1408829766
1408839199
t3_2ee9f6
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120
[deleted]: TIFU by making my family, friends, girlfriend and work colleagues think I'm a homosexual into mature transvestites. NSFW. I'm a photographer, I keep an ad on Craigslist for freelance work and I get inundated by gay men asking for free porn shots in exchange for blowjobs. I turn them down politely because I'...
8
15
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1408868012
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11
[deleted]: Tifu lighting a cigarette This like most posts didn't happen today but happened yesterday. I wanted to go outside for a cigarette however i didn't have a lighter as i left them at my friends house, who was currently at work. I decided to use the gas stove,which was when it went wrong. I had previously done t...
3
3.666667
1408827271
1408832558
t3_2ee5r9
t5_2to41
10
midnightmunchees: TIFU by trying to make MacNCheese at work So I'm heavily pregnant (third trimester, huge and unreasonably hungry), and I have a stash of food at work so I can save money and not have to leave in this nasty ass Florida heat to go buy food. I work in a car dealership, doing business development and ma...
3
3.333333
1408832624
1408886084
t3_2eedfg
t5_2to41
5,524
AThrowawayAsshole: TIFU by having morning sex with my wife TIFU by having sex with my wife. This morning I wake up and realize that the kids are sleeping in today. So I wake my wife up and we begin having morning sexy time out in the living room. As we are going at it like teenagers (moaning, loud exclamations of passi...
15
368.266667
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1408835043
t3_2eeef2
t5_2to41
6
Djxile: TIFU By bending a customers rim TIFU by trying to be gentle with a customers rims. I am a mechanic working for a dealership in Arizona. A customer brought in their new mustang to have new rims put on. Well they stated to be very careful with the old and new rims as he wanted to sell the old ones. Well we have t...
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