start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1353273218 | 1353297480 | null | t5_2to41 | 163 | YYURYYUBICURYY4ME: TIFU DIY
My wife and I always wanted to replace these ugly green glass panels on either side of our front door. We found the perfect replacement glass windows at a thrift store and about $200 in materials and two days of hard work later, I was installing the last piece of moulding on the windows, wh... | 6 | 27.166667 | |
1353281471 | 1353463221 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | bofh420_1: TIFU - I created an account on ashely madison, place for cheating men and women to find each other. I deleted my account without buying credits or responding to anyone. Here is my letter to their customer service.
Hello, I guess it is my fault for even thinking about creating an account on Ashley Madison. ... | 5 | 5 | |
1353301023 | 1353354768 | null | t5_2to41 | 679 | ozi_kaninchen: TIFU by pissing on a stranger and showing him my penis..
Well, last Friday I was circumcised and things aren't normal down there.. It's quite hard to get used to the sensitivity. I had been inside all weekend with no pants on, so today I summoned the courage (aka paracetamol and codeine) to go out with a... | 8 | 84.875 | |
1353299388 | 1353450981 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my shop unlocked.
I work at a hotel and usually have my shop locked when I'm not in there. Today I had to do a shuttle run, a mile away. We have 2 extra Tv's (42")stored in the shop. When I got back from the shuttle run. One was gone. I flipped shot, calling my supervisor. Nothing to be done.... | 9 | 5 | |
1353312675 | 1353512412 | null | t5_2to41 | 460 | Sageypie: TIFU by drawing the Operator symbol in the dust of some machines I work with at work.
Basically the backstory is, at my job we're supposed to have this cleaning crew that comes in after us and cleans off all the machines. Whole point of having them. Lately, however, there's been a lot of complaints about thin... | 6 | 76.666667 | |
1353320353 | 1353367587 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | fish_kicker: TIFU and shattered the screen on my fairly new Atrix
Getting out of the car at work, hands full attempting to read an email that was not terribly important. Phone slipped, landed face down, and that gut wrenching feeling took over. Yep. Shattered. Luckily, it still works. And luckily I thought enough to ge... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1353323788 | 1353359674 | null | t5_2to41 | 410 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting my pants at work.
I was waiting tables and had to poop but it was busy so I had to hold it. Well, I guess I couldn't hold it so I shat myself as I was speed walking to the bathroom. Thankfully it was contained in my boxers but I had tables waiting on me. So I cleaned up as fast as I could, t... | 7 | 58.571429 | |
1353330725 | 1353368695 | null | t5_2to41 | 168 | Lolacaust: TIFU by brushing my teeth with benzoyl peroxide acne cream
[This one in particular](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4a/Benzoyl_peroxide_gel.jpg) 4 hours in and I feel fine though I'm now downing pints of water to flush my system, the paranoid person in me is reading what the adverse effects o... | 7 | 24 | |
1353303519 | 1353398999 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU - Texted my GF to say i was going to smoke with my friend, accidentally sent it to my mom
Minime2000: Plot twist: GF is mom.
thecreator666: plot twist the entire experiences was part of a trip and didnt really happen
Minime2000: Plot twist: He was on acid.
| 4 | 9 | |
1353339805 | 1353526774 | null | t5_2to41 | 92 | BRNZ42: TIFU and turned by dog into a puke machine
So I was at the grocery store and in the pet section and saw this awesome looking bone. It was gristley and meaty and I thought my dog would like it. I was right.
My dog loved it. Loved the shit out of it. Loved it so much that he demolished the bone and ate it. Not ... | 6 | 15.333333 | |
1353359243 | 1353380717 | null | t5_2to41 | 756 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling my new girlfriend by my ex-wife's name. In bed. Twice.
'Nuff said.
Anotherfuckwit: Could have been worse... "Oh, yes, use your tongue, oh, yes, Colby. Lick them balls, Colby, lick 'em good,"
gslangley_3: damn it! i thought we were past this....free colby
hbomberman: nevar4get
pricelessNZ: ... | 8 | 94.5 | |
1353371815 | 1353430938 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | Grimgnight: TIFU By dropping a table leaf on my foot...
It was actually yesterday, but i was given some strong stuff to knock me out for pain, so yeah...
But anyways, i was carrying a solid oak table leaf (the thing that goes in the middle of the table so you can expand the table) by myself and I managed to trip and d... | 3 | 6 | |
1353385290 | 1353637243 | null | t5_2to41 | 302 | lucy__b: TIFU by drunkenly going to my ex's house in the middle of the night...
...and putting myself in his bed. He wasn't home. When he got home, he politely asked me to leave. I politely got dressed and walked 2 miles home. At 4am. In the middle of a rain storm.
I can honestly say I'm wtfing all over myself right ... | 14 | 21.571429 | |
1353399404 | 1353430667 | null | t5_2to41 | 174 | [deleted]: TIFU by ignoring the golden rule when it comes to anal sex.
"Never trust a fart after anal sex".
Liquid poo. Everywhere.
avalanche21: What a shitty situation.
[deleted]: Come on dude. I read this exact comment in every thread...
Mech1: And this yet another 'I shit myself' post on TIFU. Time to reset the cou... | 7 | 24.857143 | |
1353406042 | 1354019598 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | MegatronStarscream: TIFU by doing nothing all day and not even going to sleep until past 6am AGAIN.
I'm not sure if this is the typical TIFU. I'm having a lot of problems with depression, and my physical and mental health. I think I have agoraphobia, in any case I am ap retty big shut in. I know I'd feel better if I w... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1353414457 | 1353767492 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Sebby12345XD: TIFU by getting too high and accidentally eating pills.
A few friends and I had been smoking up all night. It was getting quite late, and we were all very high and very tired, but we had BattleField 3, Monster and endless food to entertain us.
My friend picks up a packet of mints and offers me one. We bo... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1353420910 | 1353453933 | null | t5_2to41 | 208 | todayishatmyself: TIFU by shitting myself during anal sex
Anotherfuckwit: To be fair, if someone said to me, "I'm gonna fuck you up the ass!" I think I'd shit myself too.
[deleted]: I read "I'm gonna fuck you up the ass!" in [this style.] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRd2jKapDqA)
jvdave23: Bitchhhhh
[deleted]: That... | 5 | 41.6 | |
1353428419 | 1353430895 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Katantunoro: TIFU by knocking down a kid, not realising, and then walking away.
Ok, I was walking down my street, which has a school at the bottom. The little tykes where getting out and many children and adults where passing by. A crowd of 6 kids are going into the car, and I walk by saying excuse me with an earphone ... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1353429854 | 1353446382 | null | t5_2to41 | 356 | saladblaster: TIFU and probably destroyed my kidneys.
Actually it was last Friday, but in a very drunken episode decided before going to bed to take a handful of probably 16 Motrin and the last one of my Tylenol 3's. The next day I felt groggy as hell but figured that was the worst of it. Over the past couple days my k... | 8 | 44.5 | |
1353440050 | 1353449359 | t3_13irbg | t5_2to41 | 62 | Pockets6794: If I had to choose a cereal to eat naked while my mum watched, it would be Coco Pops. Good job.
17Hongo: My mum doesn't approve of coco pops. I'd go for some Fruit 'n Fibre.
David_mcnasty: You mean Fruit Loops?
[deleted]: [Fruit loops](http://i.imgur.com/9qsOD.jpg) and [fruit n fibre](http://i.imgur.com/w... | 8 | 7.75 | |
1353441205 | 1354675754 | null | t5_2to41 | 121 | juanl09: TIFU Bought a ticket to Ukraine
I met this girl in chat roulette and we ended up talking for hours until I had gotten her facebook. We would keep talking for months and eventually we ended up talking about the possibility of seeing each other in person. She had told me she was coming to the United States in a ... | 9 | 13.444444 | |
1353446945 | 1353463151 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | SargeKroell5: TIFU By opening a r/gonewild link at school
Today, in my online English class (students who do online courses are to be in a computer lab for the block where that class is) and, being a redditor, i procrastinated. So, since i have RES, i have the preview option. I clicked it, and the picture showed up. I ... | 9 | 10 | |
1353428155 | 1353454935 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | BRNZ42: TIFUpdate: my puke-machine isn't dead
[My dog ate a bone](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13gcfp/tifu_and_turned_by_dog_into_a_puke_machine/), but he's better now.
Hooray! Everything seems back to normal. He is his playful self, eating food, and keeping it down. Much thanks to /u/odoriferous for letting... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1353449470 | 1353522034 | null | t5_2to41 | 275 | daydreamingagain: TIFU - And snuck into my boyfriends parents room!
My boyfriend of 21 and I are staying with his parents for the holidays. His mother is super religious and is against us living together before we are married. So when we see them she always makes us stay in different rooms. When we went to bed he tucke... | 8 | 34.375 | |
1353454787 | 1353678120 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my daughter a black eye and broken nose.
in our town we have what is called "fall ball" (basically a baseball program in the fall) and for us, since she is 6, it's just a T-ball clinic. so yesterday we went outside to practice on some catching and throwing. i was simply going through some of t... | 7 | 12.142857 | |
1353455995 | 1353514396 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Gokus_Dad: TIFU being too faded and winking flirtatiously at my friend who now thinks I'm gay.
Just two faded dudes hanging out, playing black ops 2 and wrtting essay. Be listening to some good dubstep, I do a weird hand gesture to the music and wink him like telling him to come here. Realized what I did and awk turtle... | 4 | 2 | |
1353459143 | 1353473867 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by not looking in the mirror before going to a funeral
Last night I crashed at a friends house, and since all my friends are 14 year olds stuck in 20 year old bodies, they decided to draw swastikas and dicks on my face. Well today I went to my girlfriend's Grandpa's funeral, and since I thought I could ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1353455532 | 1353604621 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | itismelol: TIFU my third physics exam
Today was the third exam for my physics course. I thought that I had studied enough for it and prepared well, but my performance proved otherwise. I am not expecting to get a grade higher than 40. What makes this worse is that it is my 3rd and last time taking this course. I had fa... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1353456477 | 1353520417 | null | t5_2to41 | 829 | Paragora: TIFU by setting my alarm clock.
Last night I went out and drank with some friends (we're second years at a university). We came back to the dorm last night and went to sleep. I sleep on the bottom of a bunk bed and one of my roommates on the top. I set my alarm for 9am (had class this morning) he climbed up a... | 6 | 138.166667 | |
1353469610 | 1353660297 | null | t5_2to41 | 243 | CyborgHippie: TIFU by fake sexting the wrong person
I am female, and was texting my male roommate while he was at work.
I told him I was having a bad day. He said "I'll give you a hug when I get home."
Trying to be funny, I responded with "Ok. Give it to me slow and hard."
It went to my mother. Of course.
Evref: pef... | 5 | 48.6 | |
1353485163 | 1353541086 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | maxxer77: TIFU by putting Bengay on my dick.
Happened earlier today. You all know the story...starts with not paying attention/distractions.
So my neck, shoulder, and lower back are sore from practice earlier today...despite the icing. No problem, I'm a college athlete...I'll Bengay the shit out of that. Feelsgoodman.... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1353497954 | 1353546591 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting a fart.
(Foreword: I have no gallbladder anymore, so sometimes food will run through me faster than Lindsey Lohan running to her Cocaine stash after she gets out of rehab.)
So yeah... sitting at work, felt my stomach rumbling a bit after my loaded cheese fries. Didn't feel too bad though, a... | 4 | 11 | |
1353481284 | 1353517843 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | canipaybycheck: /r/TIFU was featured in The Daily Dot
TheFats216: http://www.dailydot.com/news/ladies-photobucket-nude-photos-hacked/ ...... I found this
rya11111: ಠ\_ಠ
| 3 | 5 | |
1353478753 | 1353608582 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | Asifys: TIFU by sleeping through my macroeconomics midterm
20% of my grade down the drain cause I did one of those "eh he doesn't take attendance I'll sleep in" snoozes.
Noticed about 2 hours ago, been freaking out since.
clamhurt_legbeards: 80% isn't a bad course grade, it still gets you a 3.2! chin up :)
Raphman90:... | 10 | 4 | |
1353514572 | 1353531858 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU By asking my Native American co-worker what she was doing for Thanksgiving.
Mech1: Okay, but seriously this is just stupid, that's not a fuck up. That is a simple question, asked out of interest, not out of ignorance or intentional ass-holery. Why does it matter if the person was Native American? I am ... | 5 | 4 | |
1353449771 | 1353518928 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | goodonesaretaken: TIFU and caught the wrong bus
Today I was actually running a little ahead of schedule when I left the house to go to the bus stop. As I got to the top of the block where I could see the bus stop, I noticed a bus already pulling up. Started running to catch the bus, tripped over the line in the middle ... | 3 | 8 | |
1353523323 | 1353547347 | null | t5_2to41 | 132 | WilliamMcCarty: TIFU - Accidental Slavery Comment
so a white girl at my work tells me how her boyfriend wants her to make a turkey tomorrow. she says, "i hope he knows he's going to have to help."
I reply, "you're gonna have to put the whip to him. Get to crackin!"
I forgot her boyfriend is black.
She just stared a... | 4 | 33 | |
1353528784 | 1353586815 | null | t5_2to41 | 335 | BlimeyChaps: TIFU and asked a girl with a disorder why she walks like a zombie.
Today I went on a university visit with a program that my Sixth Form put me on (I'm seventeen) to try out how I'd find doing English Literature as a course in University. Anyhow, after a lecture on Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne... | 7 | 47.857143 | |
1353538176 | 1353602612 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU and hit a girl with my car while trying to flirt with her. (She's ok it wasn't hard at all).
I was pulling out of a parking lot at work and I see this girl checking me out while she's walking down the sidewalk perpendicular to the front of my car. Trying to flirt with her I put my car on reverse to vie... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1353553293 | 1353589597 | null | t5_2to41 | 127 | flyrobotfly: TIFU by trying to save a puppy
My sister and I were on our way back home from a fun ~~date~~ night (since people don't like me using the word date in this situation) of pizza and ice cream when we saw a small yorkie puppy run across the street in front of us. I pulled over so that we could jump out and gra... | 10 | 12.7 | |
1353561273 | 1364003720 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU: Spilled ogurt on m keboard...
As ou can probabl tell, several of m kes ave ceased to cooperate wit me. I'm so fucking pissed rigt now.
TheOffspring123: yogurt, right....
ballepartypooper: SHES A GIRL!?
TheOffspring123: my point still stands
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1353566088 | 1353589869 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | Michaelfear: [Tifu] by sharting and dropping my food
All day my gut has been killing me, so me and my gf are just sitting down to eat some hamburger helper, as I was about to sit I farted and well it was more then just air comming out, I accidentally droped my plate running to the bathroom. My poor girlfriend had to cl... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1353570466 | 1353607508 | null | t5_2to41 | 577 | olithraz: TIFU: mixed bleach and ammonia
I was cleaning the toilet and filled the bowl with a bleach based cleaner and let it sit. Then I sprayed the rim and seats with an ammonia based cleaner.
As I was wiping it down, my nose felt like it suddenly caught fire and I could barely breathe. At that point I realized my... | 14 | 41.214286 | |
1353574066 | 1353620875 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | Zelda_Whore: TIFU by asking a Vietnam Vet if he enjoyed his time overseas.
I just started working with a really awesome older guy. I asked him about his past work experiences and one thing he mentioned was being a Vietnam veteran. I jokingly asked if there was an endless barbecue since that's what Forest Gump taught m... | 7 | 8.714286 | |
1353508205 | 1354152756 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | todayishatmyself: TIFU by sharting on the bus.
On my way to work this morning, I thought I'd let out a discrete fart on the bus. However, I let a bit more go & filled my pants with liquid shit.
I've never sharted before.
It may be due to my recent experience with anal sex.
cgome1: User name is relevant.
VAGINA_PL... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1353600502 | 1353646167 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | dndtweek89: TIFU with what I thought was bleach.
So bleach is a mighty handy tool at my job, especially when we have to clean shit off of the showers. Yes, kids shit in them. I ran to the chem shed to find a bottle, but I only found an unmarked one. I opened it up, stuck my nose right over the opening and took a big b... | 7 | 9.857143 | |
1353605337 | 1353801156 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,426 | AShadowCast: TIFU by accidentally doing 14.5 hours on my first day
So I started work again recently, first job in 12 years.
It's a parcel delivery company, 9-5pm. I deliver the shit you order in a van.
First day, no one shows me what to do and I've never done anything like it before. Guy shows me the stack of parcel... | 7 | 203.714286 | |
1353620357 | 1353718780 | null | t5_2to41 | 673 | [deleted]: Tifu by having sex with my cousin.
Today I fucked up hard. So some back story, about a year ago I ended up hooking up with a girl that I had met at a music festival, and continued to see her a couple more times but after awhile slowly lost contact with her due to me being busy a lot.
Fast forward to today (... | 11 | 61.181818 | |
1353628068 | 1353808544 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | five_hammers_hamming: TIFU by getting juice from a habanero pepper on my dick
I made a quesadilla that included a sliced-up habanero pepper. I don't have a cutting board or any plates; so, I sliced it up in my hands. I washed my hands afterward more thoroughly than I ever have after having only gotten edible things o... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1353633261 | 1353715518 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | lizzehness: TIFU by trying to brine a turkey
Here are complete instructions on how *not* to prepare your thanksgiving turkey. You're welcome.
* Step one: Make a disgusting looking and smelling brine out of water, salt, sugar, a zillion peppercorns, some bay leaves, and an entire head of garlic- do this at the last mi... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1353653064 | 1353778128 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU When I Tried to Move the Dog.
Watching TV with the man and the dog this morning, and the dog was hogging the blanket. All of the other blankets were MIA and with a 50 pound English Bulldog sleeping on the majority of the blanket, I was uncomfortable, to say the least.
So I started trying to push him ov... | 4 | 12 | |
1353662229 | 1353865315 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: Tifu by letting my friend cut my hair.
He's never cut hair before, his only experience being "my mom always cuts mine, so I watched and know what to do." Me being dumb, I let him give it a go... Now I look like a friar. He like took the razor and completely buzzed by my sideburns, and the bangs look like a r... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1353689991 | 1353699129 | null | t5_2to41 | 577 | naypalm: TIFU by yelling at a good friend of mine who just lost his (abusive) father 'Please daddy, don't hit me again'.
I was throwing sticks around and he said in a playful voice: Naypalm, stop throwing those sticks. I then said with a girly voice; "I'm sorry daddy, please don't hit me again".
I immediatly realis... | 12 | 48.083333 | |
1353692942 | 1353705858 | null | t5_2to41 | 232 | Sigiant2300: TIFU by laughing at when someone asked me for my number.
So I was hanging out with some friends at a skating rink, when a friend from my high school showed up (the girl that asked me for my number). So we were just talking, well kinda yelling, you see the skating rink liked to play its music really really... | 8 | 29 | |
1353718339 | 1353720269 | t3_13ow0i | t5_2to41 | 3 | snakeseare: So why were you driving a truck then? Those things are shit compared to a small car when it comes to handling bad weather and slippery roads. Or, for that matter, perfect weather and dry roads.
LikeCoolPerson: So everyone should just drive cars. Trucks should be abolished as a vehicle. *Logic*
snakeseare:... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1353732897 | 1369050652 | null | t5_2to41 | 881 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my mom a sex tape
It was more like a few days ago but anyway! So, here about a week ago i went to my first college party. I don't know really anyone around here so I was really hoping to just meet people and get to know them.
Turned out really well actually, wound up meeting some great peop... | 13 | 67.769231 | |
1353699087 | 1353793168 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | todayishatmyself: TIFU by holding my bowels
I had bowel problems last week after my first time having anal sex. After shitting & sharting myself 3 times last week, I decided to use a butt plug over the weekend to ensure nothing came out.
This morning I felt the urge to go to the bathroom. I couldn't get it to come... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1353738842 | 1353986815 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | mybustersword: TiFU the emotional well-being of a 6 year old
I was with two friends at one of their homes, along with my buddy's 6 yr old nephew. He is the coolest little kid, is obsessed with pokemon and can even build amazing stuff in minecraft. Anyways, my buddy was talking to him about how he just got a motorcycle ... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1353745351 | 1353775102 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: Tifu by letting my husband unload the car
I'm a workaholic/control freak according to my huBby. So I decide to take a chill pill and trust him to m handle unloading the car w outt bitching/nagging and Overseeing his work. I take my son inside and start mom duties finish up and go to bed happy that groceries ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1353778704 | 1354658987 | null | t5_2to41 | 145 | Kind_Of_Like_Butter: TIFU- Drinking moldy coconut water.
You would think the smell of Windex would be off-putting...
So I brought a coconut home from the store today. Yeah, I know. Wrong time of year. But I wanted one. I cracked a couple holes in it with a screw driver and drained the water inside into a glass. I to... | 5 | 29 | |
1353784814 | 1353802172 | null | t5_2to41 | 216 | [deleted]: TIFU by fapping with shampoo.
I thought it was kinda hot, so I tried it.
Covered my dick in shampoo and went to town. Note, I'm standing over my toilet, it's 11:00 at night.
Next morning, EVERYTHING's covered in shampoo suds. Towel, shower, toilet, ground, even ceiling.
A couple days after that, my ski... | 7 | 30.857143 | |
1353793041 | 1353799613 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | timb899: TIFU by drunk texting a coworker.
So we actually had gone out to dinner and a movie before. When I got back to my place my buddy and I decided to get hammered. The coworker already knows I have a thing for her and told me flat out shes not looking for a relationship, which was nice of her. So my buddy and I ge... | 4 | 5 | |
1353794742 | 1353977930 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | RagingVoodooSorcerer: TIFU by shitting myself
I had been sick with a stomach virus for the past few days and had diarrhea. I had trusted a fart that wasn't and left streaks on my pants and underwear. My new blue jeans are now my new brown jeans. My scooby doo underwear is now my scooby doo doo underwear...
TreeLove520:... | 4 | 8 | |
1353795009 | 1353798951 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | nastybacon: TIFU thinking my 15yo cousin sent me a picture of his dick. Turned out it was his finger.
So my cousin whatsapped me a picture. It was a bit blurry and dark, but I realised what it was. I contacted his mother and informed her that he's got issues sending pictures of his erect penis around (and to family as ... | 3 | 23 | |
1353797419 | 1354162683 | null | t5_2to41 | 74 | SparkyDogPants: TIFU and peed the bed. I'm 22
Completely sober, just too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom. All of a sudden I feel the release of my bladder and stop it, run downstairs and peed. Now my pants smell bad and I feel bad.
FinalDoom: I forget what I was watching, but I recently heard someone say they wou... | 9 | 8.222222 | |
1353812918 | 1353844978 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,292 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate: sending my mom a sex tape
Alright, this is a EPIC update from [this] (http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13p9op/tifu_by_sending_my_mom_a_sex_tape/) post.
So, after the initial explosion from my mom, she refused to speak to me. After going through all the witty and funny comments and words of ... | 10 | 129.2 | |
1353849849 | 1353927346 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | taiwanesebanana: TIFU and Made a Complete Fool of Myself While Trying to Teach English
Ok, so here's some background so this makes some sense. I'm a highschooler in Taiwan. Yesterday(I would have posted this then but suppressed the memories until now), I went with a small group of students from my school to a small, re... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1353853558 | 1353934663 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | xorg112: TIFU by blacking out in the train
I was taking the train home from the city, pretty early in the morning, as I was out clubbing. I was quite drunk and tired thus fell asleep (or blacked out, I don't know anymore) pretty fast. I woke up without my jacket, the pockets of my (expensive) jeans were cut open and my... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1353857802 | 1353979607 | null | t5_2to41 | 463 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling face first into dog shit
Playing a night game of ultimate frisbee with my buds.
One of my friends makes a horrible throw and it goes sailing off into the night and lands on the other side of this street right across from the community park where we are at.
Well, I started to jog after it. I... | 9 | 51.444444 | |
1353867241 | 1353879886 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by missing a 'that's what she said' opportunity
I'm currently taking Stats at University and my professor was apologizing for the lecture he was about to give; he said "It might be a bit dry, probably is.". Immediately followed by this perfect silence - I'm surprised nobody else said it. In my defense... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1353871165 | 1354083176 | null | t5_2to41 | 132 | gabrieloratorian: TIFU by fapping after a sandwich
I decided that making a nice bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on toast would be a nice touch to start my morning. I'm the type that likes a kick in my food and thought a cerrano pepper would do just that.
After I finished eating and holding that cerrano pepper like a... | 4 | 33 | |
1353881398 | 1353908299 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | ra01062: TIFU by thinking soup wouldn't be difficult to make.
Steve2982: Well, you got the garnish right. What was it *supposed* to be?
ra01062: It was supposed to be a carrot soup. However, it seems my blender isn't up to par for soup.
Steve2982: Yeah, I tried broccoli soup once. It was so fibrous, it was like wet dr... | 7 | 3.285714 | |
1353908958 | 1353988009 | null | t5_2to41 | 100 | xiPlayWithCrayons: TIFU by blowing up at my dad in the middle of a Chinese restaurant.
Okay, I'm fifteen so I'm in that stage of hating my parents and thinking I'm always right and blah blah blah. Despite this, I hate giving my opinions when asked a question so not to interfere with what someone else preferred.
Well t... | 8 | 12.5 | |
1353834603 | 1353916872 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by flirting with a girl I don't like
So at school I was flirting with a girl I don't like, just so we can become better friends and gain a closer relationship with her, and now she has told all of her friends that I like her. Her friends continue to confront me about it but I can't say yes Iike her beca... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1353911778 | 1353960376 | null | t5_2to41 | 197 | [deleted]: TIFU Update: falling face first into dog shit
So, here's a nice short update from [this] (http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13rfmc/tifu_by_falling_face_first_into_dog_shit/) lovely fuck-up of mine.
So, I went to a local physician Sunday afternoon. My friends (and some of you wonderful redditors) suggest... | 4 | 49.25 | |
1353916310 | 1354041456 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | awesomebolt: TIFU eating chicken wings.
Actually a few days ago but whatever. So I went to Smoke Eater's with some friends who convinced me to do the Hellfire Challenge with them. Mistake. You're supposed to eat 12 of their hottest wings in 10 minutes without water or napkins, then wait 5 minutes to let the burn reall... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1353933202 | 1354050020 | null | t5_2to41 | 178 | doomedDunce: Tifu by giving my elderly patient her heart meds twice.
So I'm an ass. Basically, I'm a carer for the elderly; I go to their homes and make them food and give them their meds, bathe them, etc. Other carers go to this house, too.
My regular shift in the morning is that I come to her (client is an old lady... | 13 | 13.692308 | |
1353940908 | 1353945293 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | 6713250: TIFU by sending my ex an angry email.
So long story short, the love of my life broke up with me. She led me to believe that I was the love of her life too, and I opened up to her like I have to no one else. So when she broke up with me, I was broken, shattered. After a few days I decided I wanted to get back w... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1353947094 | 1354043585 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,162 | PhatDaddy420: TIFU: I left my hungry friend in the house alone while I went to the store quick.
So this happened Friday night, I had a friend come in from out of town, and it was about 7pm and we didn't eat yet. I had to bring a friend's laptop back to her quickly, she lives 5 minutes away. I tell my friend grab someth... | 8 | 145.25 | |
1353951353 | 1355839942 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | OJoyitsWilder: TIFU by showing my grandmother a picture that made a joke about old people dying
I was on Facebook a few months ago and everyone has seen those "If you love God like and share. If you love the devil keep scrolling" which annoys the piss out of me. But I stumbled on one that actually made me smile. It had... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1353959463 | 1354437482 | null | t5_2to41 | 251 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally and unwillingly drenching myself in another man's semen.
This morning I was leaving my house, where I normally parallel park on the street, when I saw some trash laying in the street by my truck. So I decide to be a good person and clean it up. It looked like it was just a plain blue b... | 6 | 41.833333 | |
1353980530 | 1357690777 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,327 | issuesmayexist: TIFU by combining magnets with my urethra [NSFW]
I am the luckiest dumbass ever to live.
So I had the weekend at home to myself. My flatmate had gone away, a little me-time was scheduled.
Now, I like to experiment. I'd heard about sounding (sticking things into the urethra) and thought I'd give it a go.... | 15 | 155.133333 | |
1353993426 | 1354178603 | t3_13ubcm | t5_2to41 | 5 | thefidlerontheroof: Haha! No, pal. At least not really. And you are not your dad.
Tolerance comes from a variety of things like practice, height, weight, sex, and blood volume (which increases with weight). Mmmmaybe genetics but i;ve never heard or read anywhere that genetics has anything to do with it.
I_LIKE_THAT_S... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1353987331 | 1354129113 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | runningwithsharpie: TIFU : walked into a woman restroom and was busted
Today I went to the airport for a work meeting. I was running really close to the meeting time but had to pee. I marched into the first restroom I saw. When I walked in, I felt quite strange that there was no urinal in sight. I was doubting myself, ... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1353946152 | 1354673078 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | weaselcorp: TIFU and spilled wine EVERYWHERE
I'm traveling abroad for work and I'm staying at a nice hotel in China and tonight I decided to order room service. Pizza, glass of wine and some cake. All was going well until I knocked the table, spilling a glass of red wine everywhere! Victim count: 1 white dressing gown ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1354011358 | 1354026024 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | SilentDream: TIFU: Went to buy COD Black Ops II.
Today I finally got my pay from work, and decided to put aside enough to buy the new Call Of Duty Black Ops. I've been playing COD since I was 16, but over the last 2 years haven't really touched my playstation or the game(s). But today, I said to myself, "Why the fuck n... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1354055122 | 1354424469 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | Adverted: TIFU by giving a homeless man $20 instead of the intended $1
Yeah. I'm pissed off at myself.
EDIT: It's not that i'm against being generous or anything but fuck, I'm a broke college kid, 20 bucks is a lot.
tripuri: You didn't fuck up. You should be very proud of yourself. Your Guardian neural pathway decided ... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1354059195 | 1354120500 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | Theoisme: TIFU by trying to figure out how much it would be to Fedex myself to Bulgaria instead of studying.
Hello fail !
green072410: Well? How much would it be?
Theoisme: Sad thing is.. I couldn't even work it out. College is wasted on me.
green072410: We'll blame FedEx.
Theoisme: I like this idea ! I think I will ... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1354061229 | 1354115668 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,208 | throwaway_p0rn: TIFU by leaving porn open on my laptop and opening my computer in class for all my peers to see
**As a disclaimer, I am a 5'1'' innocent looking female who attends a prestigious Midwestern University**
Last night, I couldn't fall asleep so I smoked a bowl to myself to try to fall asleep. Instead of gro... | 9 | 134.222222 | |
1354066514 | 1354203791 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU because my little sister thinks i'm not a good example, yet I still got wasted
So... This might be a bigger story than I tell right now.
I live for the weekend, like many of my friends do, so when we go out to party on a friday or saturday night I always come home most likely (half) drunk. (no i'm not ... | 7 | 8.285714 | |
1353987909 | 1354081312 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Coopersgreen: TIFU: Got too drunk the night and had to miss out on seeing my friends who were in town for the first time in a year
I went out on sunday night, drinking to the early hours of the morning. Was meant to catch up with a good freind on the monday for dinner, at 4:30pm Monday, I was still unable to keep wate... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1354063311 | 1354239682 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | MrGoldenVoice: TIFU by drinking Jägermeister for the first time, getting more shitfaced than I ever have before, and making a complete ass of myself at a party.
This was actually last Saturday night, so let's time travel back a few days, shall we? Okay. I was invited to a party where I knew everyone there. Since I knew... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1354069017 | 1354137592 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by copying someones assignment and the professor has mailed us
This happened a month back. I had back to back interviews lined up on campus and I basically was doing all nighters in preparation of the interviews. The last day of the interview I also had a class assignment to submit. Obviously I had not ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1354079073 | 1354138615 | null | t5_2to41 | 76 | cherriesfoster: TIFU - I hit a pedestrian with my car
I was driving home when it happened. I just completed a left turn, centered myself in the lane, and an older woman was suddenly in front of me. I braked hard, but it was too late. I ran out to help her, called the authorities, and witnesses came around to help.
... | 4 | 19 | |
1354137942 | 1354399323 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | throwawayGamer0: TIFU - was 6 months sober and hit the liquor store on the way home from a meeting.
i don't know exactly what sent me over the edge yesterday because things have actually been going quite well... anyone else have these slip ups?
(and by meeting i mean work meeting... not AA)
EDIT: Wow, I just wanted t... | 4 | 23.75 | |
1354144372 | 1354322272 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU when a bunch of neighbors saw my extremely dirty pads.
I thought I was being amazing because instead of using a sponge I decided to use a box of menstrual pads that my husband bought ( They weren't the right kind. ) I didn't want them to go to waste so I used them along with a polishing product to clean... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1354148884 | 1354884487 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | party_in_my_pants: TIFU by accidentally deleting 1,2GB of psd/ai unfinished project files
So, today I was making some backup DVD's and accidentally I erased 1,2GB of PSD/ai project files ( I'm a graphic designer, btw.). So far I've tried getdataback, Recuva, and Pandora Recovery - with lousy results. Now I must deal w... | 11 | 4.727273 | |
1354176373 | 1354212070 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU- Copied Homework in class that wasn't even due, then got an F
I was in my high school basic economics class, which is a ridiculously easy class because its required that all students take it so they have to set the curve really low. I skipped 2 classes in a row because I have better things to do and the... | 3 | 2 | |
1354154608 | 1354650157 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | pikapikapower: TIFU by missing an obvious golden opportunity.
[For ambiance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnQaqu_2Wq4)
Reddit, today I fucked up by missing an opportunity with a really cute girl.
First, a little background. I was born and raised in GA, moved to NJ for 4 years, and have recently moved back to GA. ... | 9 | 4.111111 | |
1354157247 | 1354263246 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking I could replace ball joints on my truck.
So i work about a 12h drive away from home, and my truck is set up with all my equipment so truck=required.
Was on my way to work, decided, hey its getting late in the season, Lets get the winter tires on. Now i grew up on the farm so this isn't my ... | 3 | 5 |
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