start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1409669943 | 1409726979 | t3_2f9hq3 | t5_2to41 | 276 | SugarlessBear: TIFU by handing out Haribo Sugar free Gummy bears
Today i really, really fucked up. My mates and I saw LA Beasts video where he ate a hole 5lb bag of that deamon-candy, and we figured out the most legendary prank ever pulled. Our school has a large common room. We made sure we were there earlier than any... | 10 | 27.6 | |
1409670101 | 1409742566 | t3_2f9i1f | t5_2to41 | 7 | swollenjohnthomas: TIFU by having too much fun with The Fappening
I went to take a piss after redditing for ahwile, to find my penis swollen to twice it's usual size, it's so swollen I can't even move the foreskin...
You know when you hit your thumb or something really hard and it swells up so much it looks really fr... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1409671638 | 1409673100 | t3_2f9ko1 | t5_2to41 | 3 | dude8462: TIFU by fucking a fat chick. (NSFW)
canada_mike: fat chicks need love too
dude8462: Been there and done that, never again.
| 3 | 1 | |
1409672076 | 1409690940 | t3_2f9lfc | t5_2to41 | 626 | greenbarretj: TIFU by grabbing a midnight snack
I am still reeling from this fuck up that happened less than 8 hours ago. Last night, I was knee deep in a Luther marathon on Netflix when I got a little jones in my bones for something sweet. So I shuffle my scantly clad ass over to the pantry where I procure a bag of 10... | 6 | 104.333333 | |
1412095396 | 1412115454 | t3_2hvm27 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Enough of the negging; it's 2014, nobody falls for that anymore.
Get over yourself, and realize that there is a difference between teasing and mockery, that your idea of "a good joke" is someone else's betrayal of trust, and that you cannot simply *bully* other people into sharing your ideas by putting them... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1409673169 | 1409674848 | t3_2f9n9z | t5_2to41 | 19 | flabtheimpaler: TIFU by trying to have a bigger dick [NSFW, obviously]
My gf keeps bringing up her ex. Once she kinda hinted he was hung. I told her I didn't want to know. But a couple of times she mentioned his BD anyway. She keeps saying it doesn't matter but she keeps talking about it and bringing him up. I'm f... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1412073317 | 1412075360 | t3_2hvma1 | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by destroying my gf's pussy nsfw
So me and my gf went on a vacation to ........... Great hotel and all. And one evening we were talking about what she would like to do sexually. So we ended up having sex with her on top and it was great she got a little more rough than usual and i liked it. At one point... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1409691488 | 1409706722 | t3_2f9nzx | t5_2to41 | 21 | Albanian_Tea: Hodor
OrdyHartet: Hodor!!!
icosahedron14912: HODOR!!!!
Shogelicious: hoDOR!!!
icosahedron14912: HOdor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1409673326 | 1409693384 | t3_2f9njf | t5_2to41 | 153 | NoSham3: TIFU deceiving my fiancé and now she left me in middle America with no way to get home.
*Disclaimer*: I'm typing on a mobile phone. Sorry for errors in advance.
This week I have a job interview in middle America and I wanted to bring my fiancé with me to see the area. She's never left her corner of the states... | 5 | 30.6 | |
1411427877 | 1411444601 | t3_2h6bq2 | t5_2to41 | 241 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a threesome with a 44-year-old lady
Actually the biggest fuck-up isn't for me, but for my friend, who was also in the threesome. But here we go. Me (I'm 20) and some of the guys from my soccer team were at a small bar in my small hometown. I recently moved to a bigger city to study, but I was ... | 6 | 40.166667 | |
1409675654 | 1410054711 | t3_2f9rn8 | t5_2to41 | 21 | OnyxVII: TIFU by having sex with my girlfriend.
Like most TIFU posts, this wasn't today. It was a few months back. A little backstory: Me and my girlfriend are both young, both 18. When we started dating, my girlfriend and I used to have sex any chance we could. This meant going out late at night because our parents we... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1412057245 | 1412255133 | t3_2hv7pi | t5_2to41 | 27 | Lexinoz: TIFU by World of Warcraft-Cooking a frozen pizza.
Alright, so this requires a bit of backstory:
Me and my friends have a term to describe "gamer-cooking", which is when you put something on the stove or in the oven and forget about it because you get busy with a game, namely: Wow-cooking. None of us play WoW a... | 9 | 3 | |
1409671342 | 1409705975 | t3_2f9k41 | t5_2to41 | 21 | kalitarios: TIFU by reading someones reddit post aloud at the office with my headphones on, not realizing I said it aloud. Loudly.
From the Naked Jafar Doll PS Battle thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2f8xrh/psbattle_naked_jafar_doll/ck6zwal
Specifically Rbuieb's "Jeezusth crythst" reply
http:... | 3 | 7 | |
1412073005 | 1412094101 | t3_2hvm0h | t5_2to41 | 17 | scalloppotato: TIFU by being a robot at my job.
So this Fall I picked up a new job doing school photography. You know, the people who would show up a couple of times of year, make you pose in very uncomfortable positions and blind you with our studio flash.
Anyway. Not a bad gig. Pays the bills and I don't mind the w... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1409675108 | 1409785859 | t3_2f9qom | t5_2to41 | 304 | FRAK_IT: TIFU by forgetting to bring tampons on a trip to Africa
A couple of years ago, my parents were stationed in a west African country for work and I was visiting them for the summer. They planned for us to spend a couple of weeks travelling in the northern part of the country, where tourists normally don't go (my... | 16 | 19 | |
1412078445 | 1412107349 | t3_2hvrjl | t5_2to41 | 67 | BetterCallTheDoctor: TIFU by using the microwave drunk
Actually it was on friday night... once i get home after some beers i was hungry and wanted to do something, found an old pizza and put it on the microwave for 2 mins, went to the room to turn on the TV, sit down on the sofa and slept... after sometime i woke up r... | 5 | 13.4 | |
1412077471 | 1412079881 | t3_2hvqhh | t5_2to41 | 5 | Erik_Sigrund: TIFU by trying to play baseball
Alright, imagine you're me. An awkward teen who's not that good looking. Done? Okay.
Like everyday, I'm eager to go to school. On the way to school, I said that this might be a great day. It was, till the clock hit 9:00. After (what felt very long) the first period is Phy... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1412080016 | 1412148404 | t3_2hvtdb | t5_2to41 | 38 | CosmicRave: TIFU by not looking at a girls butt.
So I like one of my coworkers and she's dropped a few hints that she might like me too before. Today she was cleaning the floors and asked me if her butt was showing when I passed by but instead of looking I made a stupid "whooaaa, sexual harassment" remark because I was... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1409677063 | 1409692215 | t3_2f9ub6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | chunklemcdunkle: TIFU for not checking my mail enough.
So I won a new 30, 000 dollar car from a local dealership in a sweepstakes, but the deadline for it has passed by two days.
God I feel like the least lucky person on earth. I can barely get by as it is, and I don't need this.
Rebootkid: First off, it's probably a... | 3 | 2 | |
1409678105 | 1409706900 | t3_2f9w6r | t5_2to41 | 165 | Cannibustible: TIFU by waving to someone with the same car...
I just fucked up. I drive a VW MK6 GLI, I don't see them too often so I always wave or give a thumbs up when I see another one driving by. Like when bikers wave to each other. It just means something along the lines of "We are similar, cheers"
I was on my w... | 5 | 33 | |
1412080471 | 1424803025 | t3_2hvtxi | t5_2to41 | 224 | AhhBisto: TIFU by saying Napoleon invented the baguette because he wanted soldiers to shove bread down their trousers at a job interview
So i applied for a job last week at a supermarket in the UK called Morrisons, who are opening a new store in my town and are looking for over 200 members of staff for the store. Today... | 6 | 37.333333 | |
1412065329 | 1412084736 | t3_2hvfcz | t5_2to41 | 13 | LemunPledge: TIFU at a court hearing
This happened yesterday, and it has been plaguing my mind ever since. So what better way to get over it then with the help of the internet? Right?
So I am currently a year 11 student in Australia, and it is compulsory that I complete work experience. I chose to do mine with a lawye... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1409680412 | 1409681434 | t3_2fa0nl | t5_2to41 | 17 | DahManWitDahPlan: TIFU By sharing
This didn't happen today, it happened a few months ago.
So there i was, taking a Red Baron pizza out of the oven. It's delicious-ness was overwhelming. I take it out and admire it, it comes out almost perfect so I take the pizza cutter and begin slicing.
I prepare to start eating when ... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1409677808 | 1409688764 | t3_2f9vmy | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my phone
It was actually over the weekend. Sunday was spent at the beach where I was drinking my usual 6 pack, boogie boarding and relaxing under the umbrella. Later, the family and I left and made our way to my sister in law's house where the entire family was gathering for dinner. My wife dr... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410369576 | 1411324166 | t3_2fukqz | t5_2to41 | 7 | Sejb222: It doesn't seem to download anything, it comes up with an error saying "failed to open page". Just to be sure, I do press the link on my phone, right? Is there anyway to transfer the file from my computer toy phone?
treoni: I downloaded it via my computer. Then you can use online storage like dropbox or google... | 7 | 1 | |
1409679858 | 1409698176 | t3_2f9zj8 | t5_2to41 | 77 | MegaNasty: TIFU by climbing a tree with my little brother.
So this happened a long time ago. I was 10 years old and my brother was 6. We lived in south Louisiana down on bayou lafourche in a really quiet area with huge oak trees and fields. Anyone who's seen south Louisiana knows what I'm talking about.
Now to the... | 4 | 19.25 | |
1409679800 | 1409735149 | t3_2f9zf1 | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a piss
This takes place when I was about 10 years old, when my house was packed with extended family. There were 11 of us in total and 2 bathrooms. I lived upstairs and there was often a line to the bathroom. If it was occupied I would usually try the downstairs bathroom, but there was no stai... | 5 | 15 | |
1409628718 | 1409732152 | t3_2f87di | t5_2to41 | 2 | yourmindsdecide: TIFU by lying in bed
Alright this happened yesterday, but whatever. I was lying in bed browsing Reddit at like 3am with my legs on the wall because it's freaking hot in the room and the walls are cold. Suddenly, the two magnetic pinboards fall off the wall right onto me. I'm baffled but nothing hurts. ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1409678975 | 1409725851 | t3_2f9xuu | t5_2to41 | 241 | Buttraper: TIFU - I named my new Cat
About two years ago I got a new Cat, and being the comedian I thought I was I named it Dog. No big deal, just gets a few odd looks when I call her for her dinner. Anyway, at the time my kids were 5+ years old and I didn't think about it any more than something silly.
Now I have a b... | 7 | 34.428571 | |
1409682840 | 1409780123 | t3_2fa5ch | t5_2to41 | 25 | Zultan009: TIFU by picking up a phone someone had dropped
As I was walking through campus, I passed a building that has multiple restaurants inside it. Right in front of the door, there was a iphone on the ground. It had been raining since I got to my first class, and this phone was covered in rain. This indicated that... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1409682906 | 1409683426 | t3_2fa5gr | t5_2to41 | 7 | questionplz2: TIFU by making bodily noises whitest looking like an idiot for 4 hours with 3 cute girls
So i am in a group with 3 girls, all like 8or7/10. all very intelligent, and todays practical was just a q&a on some symmetry elements. we have 5 hours from start to finish to complete every prac! I see this and t... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1409432869 | 1409688879 | t3_2f18ax | t5_2to41 | 6 | moremysterious: TIFU by making my neighbor think I am a pervert
So this happened a couple weeks ago, I was walking to my house and there is this cute girl (somewhere in her mid 20's) walking her dog, I'd seen her before and am pretty sure she is one of my neighbors. I casually smile a friendly "hello" type of smile and... | 3 | 2 | |
1409683181 | 1409740589 | t3_2fa5zq | t5_2to41 | 2,054 | [deleted]: TIFU by going home with a girl my first time in Vegas
This was about 8 years ago.
It was my first trip to Las Vegas. I was there with a group of friends who I was in business with at the time. We were presenting at a trade show and none of us had any experience at trade shows or in Vegas. It was a fun, exci... | 10 | 205.4 | |
1410965088 | 1411255921 | t3_2gnw53 | t5_2to41 | 6,295 | TheSuitsSaidNein: TIFU by daring my ex-gf from high school to make a two hour trip to come visit me
Just a quick background: I'm a young professional living near the campus of my Alma Mater, the University of Wisconsin. I am recently single and have been exploring what else is out there.
Last week, my ex-gf from high ... | 22 | 286.136364 | |
1412084278 | 1412247188 | t3_2hvz7z | t5_2to41 | 13 | OhItStingsSoBad: TIFU by treating a yeast infection. NSFW. NSFL.
So, I want to preface this with the fact that if you are a male, and this makes you uncomfortable, you should stop here instead of making comments about it. Anyway, like most women I have had the occasional yeast infection, as in maybe once a year. I usua... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1410746195 | 1410784801 | t3_2gf5mk | t5_2to41 | 14 | GoodGuyGuard: TIFU by walking the dog at work. [Nsfw]
Background I work a12 shift Saturday and a 16 hour shift on Sunday. I work alone and no one is supposed to step foot in our building without calling.
So today I was minding my own business reading R/onoff. seeing as I work so many hours on the weekend I decided t... | 8 | 1.75 | |
1412085658 | 1412123098 | t3_2hw1d9 | t5_2to41 | 206 | Ink_: TIFU by running over my neighbors dog... Right in front of the owners wife.
As I was driving into my apartments driveway, I felt a thud on the road. Thinking it was a stick or something, I kept pulling into the driveway. I get out of the car and the neighbor's wife is wailing in the street. I ran over their Chihu... | 9 | 22.888889 | |
1409684699 | 1409685361 | t3_2fa8pn | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting cola in a sports bottle
This happened maybe 12 years ago when I was about 11.
I'd woken up thirsty, and decided to sneak down to the fridge to grab a glass of pop. When I got down there, I remember that the day before, my mum had bought me and my brother some snazzy sports bottles. I decided... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1411416607 | 1412187276 | t3_2h5qf9 | t5_2to41 | 81 | sam-sung: TIFU by screaming "he's got Ebola!" at a hospital
I spent the weekend in jail, with a sore throat because I'm a super idiot.
I live in a developing Central American country (Third World Country if you prefer) and we are currently facing a Chikungunya outbreak (around 32,000 infected). Hospitals are at full c... | 10 | 8.1 | |
1409685638 | 1409714764 | t3_2faag5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | FuckingDumbAss14: TIFU by having a shared iTunes account.
Well this all happened about 3 hours ago. I thought it would be a good idea to use my brothers iTunes account on my old iPod touch. It has only 8 gig of memory but on my bros account he has iTunes match with all his music on the cloud. So being able to extend my... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1409692999 | 1409876351 | t3_2fa9d1 | t5_2to41 | 228 | GoneWheeling: I was thinking the same combined with the ants from the fudge eater
onceuponarachel: Oh, dear GOD.
I hadn't read that post yet til just now, and... I feel a panic attack coming.
I am DEATHLY afraid of ants, ever since that one time I tried to grab some delicious makeshift tinder (Doritos) and my hand w... | 16 | 14.25 | |
1409686146 | 1409788940 | t3_2fabcx | t5_2to41 | 8 | bholeexplorer: TIFU by getting trashed off of wine on vacation and trying to sneak into the back door
alright, so this wasn't today but a few weeks ago. still makes me cringe thinking about it. throwaway for the obvious reasons...
I was on vacation with my girlfriend and her family in this gigantic mansion on a beach ... | 4 | 2 | |
1412086933 | 1412091205 | t3_2hw3jz | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally peeing in the sink on my first day at work.
I just got a job at a factory and they have large industrial sinks that look like [this](http://www.qcmf.com/gallery/cache/stainless-steel/commercial-sink_595.jpg). I mistook it for a urinal and peed in it while coworkers came in and out of the... | 4 | 1 | |
1412039468 | 1412108934 | t3_2hug7o | t5_2to41 | 17 | otusasio451: TIFU by trying to get warm
Quick note: This is not funny. It has a happy ending, but it certainly isn't funny. It's simply something I wanted to get off my family's collective chest.
This is actually my family's mistake. I was 11 at the time. It's a story that my family is ashamed of to this day, and we h... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1412087657 | 1412114371 | t3_2hw4ti | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: Tifu by having sex on my (now ex's) bosses bed.
Ok...like most posts here this happened a couple of years back.
My ex used to work at a pub/motel and lived in the managers appartment to do the 24 hour check in. He also shared it with his boss who sometimes worked at a different venue and would often stay aw... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1409686549 | 1409697433 | t3_2fac30 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU By putting a firework in my friends mailbox
A few days ago me and some friends thought it would be a good idea to put a firework in another friends mailbox. Long story short they found out it was us and we probably arent friends anymore.
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Pete_TopKevin_Bottom: you didn't fuck up... you're jus... | 11 | 0.727273 | |
1412089165 | 1412187455 | t3_2hw7h2 | t5_2to41 | 6,725 | Accidents_happen_: TIFU by getting my lesbian co-worker pregnant....
Throwaway for obvious reasons,
--------------------------------------------------
At the company I work, there is a woman, we'll call her Sara, Sara has been in a monogamous lesbian relationship for many years with her partner, they moved here about... | 18 | 373.611111 | |
1411786509 | 1411788931 | t3_2hl4ea | t5_2to41 | 11 | neonpicklelover: TIFU by having sex with my brother home.
alright, so my mother is out of the country and my father works. which means I have the house to myself when I get back from school but my 13 year old brother is there too. So me and my bf decided that my bf should come over and we can do things and so he does c... | 9 | 1.222222 | |
1412088890 | 1412091193 | t3_2hw6zk | t5_2to41 | 3 | chilliboy15: TIFU by getting chill sauce around my balls
At break time I had chicken shwarma and put chilli sauce on it without realizing I got some on my hand and then went to itch my private area.Then it got bad.In the next lesson English,my privates got really irritated ,so when I thought no-one was looking I went t... | 3 | 1 | |
1409686536 | 1409734224 | t3_2fac2d | t5_2to41 | 5 | Gabe6678: TIFU by masturbating on the toilet
Yesterday my Mom left the house and my dad was busy with work. I had sometime to myself, so I went to town. Near the end of my session, I heard a car roll into the driveway. I ran into the bathroom to finish in peace. Little did I know that some drops of semen landed on my s... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1409690489 | 1409729466 | t3_2fajkd | t5_2to41 | 20 | thermodynamics2: TIFU by wearing white pants after Labor Day
Getting this down quickly as this just happened. I'm currently holed up in the single stall men's room at the office after taking a chance on a fart and losing badly. I'm supposed to be training a new crew of folks, but right now I'm planning an escape throug... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1409691235 | 1409692439 | t3_2fakxk | t5_2to41 | 12 | Jizzonmyhand: TIFU by jerking it to the leaked celebrity photos.
So a day or two ago i found out about the leaked pictures and decided to take a look. They were pretty good so i decided to to jerk off to them. Multiple times. Since i was lazy i just jizzed in a empty water bottle and put the cap on. I did this maybe 3 ... | 6 | 2 | |
1412090680 | 1412093495 | t3_2hwa9d | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by rubbing a magnet under my laptop
I broke the HDD by doing this and now I can't boot up my computer... At least it was a 5 year old laptop and I was planning to replace it this year, but I have lost all my porn :(
PM_me_your_evilgrin: Was it some sort of magnet-rubbing fetish porn? Just trying to fig... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1409691265 | 1409799506 | t3_2fakzj | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by possibly burning both sets of balls on my body
My brother and I decided to go out for breakfast, then planned on going on a hike because it was the perfect day, blue sky, the perfect temperature not too hot not too cold. We hiked through some pine trees and up along a ridge, at this point we came alo... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1412091010 | 1412177665 | t3_2hwav7 | t5_2to41 | 341 | hamsalad13: TIFU by accidentally showing my mother-in-law our sex toy collection, including a 13-inch monster dildo (NSFW)
This happened yesterday and I'm still cringing. Using my throwaway because a few of my friends know my Reddit account.
Our daycare provider had the day off yesterday, so my mother-in-law came over... | 11 | 31 | |
1412091080 | 1412091667 | t3_2hwb0n | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my dog explosive diahrea
So i keep all of my cereal in these cabinets in my kitchen and the cabinet i keep it in ismaybe 3 inches off of the ground and has this little crack where you open it from. I just poured myself a delicious bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. Well i forgot to close the cabin... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1409691703 | 1409706636 | t3_2false | t5_2to41 | 18 | throwaway_fuckface: TIFU by accidentally stealing a somewhat expensive textbook
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
In the confusion of the first day of the semester, with different textbooks and notebooks on my desk and a bell ringing and stress mounting, I must have shoved a textbook from the classroom set of one of my courses right ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1412088327 | 1412098300 | t3_2hw5yj | t5_2to41 | 52 | AndrewK131: TIFU by cutting the grass...
Like most, this didn't happen today, rather a couple months back.
Basically, I'm sixteen and live with my mother and she had been nagging me to cut the grass so I did.
The way my garden works is there's two seperate sections of grass separated by a narrow path and it was my br... | 4 | 13 | |
1412093657 | 1412140918 | t3_2hwfs9 | t5_2to41 | 96 | Groosenator2000: TIFU by not using the bathroom at my friends house before I left
After leaving my friends house and getting dropped off at mine, I discovered something horrifying. My folks weren't home, the front and back doors were locked, and I had the shits. I knocked on the neighbors door. There was no answer. I k... | 8 | 12 | |
1409694734 | 1409698044 | t3_2fare4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Shane35007: TIFU by being a horrible dad/husband and not being able to stop the power from being shutoff.
In 2011 I lost my job. In 2012 I found a new job teaching in Flint, MI, but unfortunately, not before I lost my house.
Fast forward to this year and I have finally been able to get my family into a nice apartment... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1409694539 | 1409800425 | t3_2far2l | t5_2to41 | 10 | CastleLAX3: TIFU by checking out a girl
Today during class, me and my friend were sitting in the back corner of the classroom talking, when out of the corner of my eye, I see the hottest girl in the class stretch out her arms behind her back, thus thrusting her very large, perky boobs out into the open. I look at my f... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1409693596 | 1409715678 | t3_2fapb6 | t5_2to41 | 21 | hahaha_____shit: TIFU by getting trapped by my girlfriend's Mom.
tl;dr: Got caught by my girlfriend's (f17) Mom in her house without adult supervision. Fuck me, right? (M17)
Now for the story. It's kinda long and it just happened.
I've been talking back and forth with this one girl for a few months now and we've beg... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1409692654 | 1409957102 | t3_2fanla | t5_2to41 | 6 | Marysthrow: TIFU by telling off a coworker
tl:dr; told coworker she's lazy, unfortunately she's also the boss' friend.
Ok, had a bad morning and rolled into work later than coworkers because I had class. One in particular had an issue with it, and made a comment like "look who came in 5 hours late" and I just brushed ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1409695356 | 1410836176 | t3_2fasjg | t5_2to41 | 343 | 1337and0: TIFU by being too tall and drinking soda.
This happened just a minute ago. I'm a pretty tall guy (6'5) and I was finishing up the last drops of a can of soda as I was walking to the next room. Because the can was tipped upward, as soon as I walked in the room, it collided with the the doorframe and jammed int... | 6 | 57.166667 | |
1412090156 | 1412102272 | t3_2hw9bf | t5_2to41 | 119 | DelineateThis: TIFU by suggesting my friend put her bra in the microwave to dry it off...
This story happened six years ago during my last year of high school and a few weeks after my 18th birthday (at a point when teenage derpness is no excuse).
I had travelled to an out-of-town netball tournament with my teammates,... | 5 | 23.8 | |
1409698601 | 1409767948 | t3_2fay90 | t5_2to41 | 3 | DaBigBadBootyDaddy: TIFU by getting glass in my foot
Okay, this happened a little bit ago.
I had convinced this girl that lived about 2 hours away from me to come visit me one weekend. I've been working at trying to see her for a minute and the opportunity had presented itself. I had made all sorts of preparations, be... | 3 | 1 | |
1409700509 | 1409789488 | t3_2fb1nj | t5_2to41 | 184 | ConManOfConning: TIFU by posting on Facebook, "Happy National Beheading Day!"
TIFU. And hey, it happened today, for once on this thread.
Today was my closest friend's birthday. If a holiday comes up, we have this ongoing joke to yell, "Happy *insert random holiday that actually exists, on this day* Day!" So a few days... | 9 | 20.444444 | |
1412100062 | 1412191559 | t3_2hws6r | t5_2to41 | 1,573 | steven2014: TIFU trying to do pullups at work
So recently I watched a video about doing pullups on doors so I've been trying to do more pullups wherever I go.
So anyways I was at work and go into the bathroom, I do a quick check and see no one is in the bathroom. So I grab the bathroom stall door and quickly pull myse... | 7 | 224.714286 | |
1411563607 | 1411582639 | t3_2hbqsg | t5_2to41 | 8,199 | hiimsadako: TIFU by leaving my sex calendar on the fridge for my dad to see
So I made [this sex calendar](http://i.imgur.com/th1wVCM.jpg) as a joke for my boyfriend who's in town right now. I put it on the fridge so I can reference it from time to time ... specifically when I want it.
Fast forward to yesterday, for s... | 13 | 630.692308 | |
1409704475 | 1409746699 | t3_2fb457 | t5_2to41 | 98 | throwawayamateur: I'd rather keep his identity private.
bubbleguy123: was it him with another girl?
throwawayamateur: Yes. His penis was in a vagina other than mine.
bubbleguy123: Damn I hope it was a past relation and he didn't cheat on you
throwawayamateur: I hope so, too.
bubbleguy123: Well all I can tell you is... | 9 | 10.888889 | |
1409702195 | 1409784302 | t3_2fb4f4 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a bag of sugar free jolly ranchers
Violent diarrhea for the the past 2 hours. [The horror, the horror](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNUr__-VZeQ)
stephlovescamp: http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Bears-Sugar-Free/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC
Does this describe your experience? Feel better s... | 4 | 2 | |
1409701905 | 1409703559 | t3_2fb3z1 | t5_2to41 | 6 | gwailo_joe: TIFU by pouring Murphy's oil soap down the garbage disposal.
Go to brush my teeth this AM and get a whiff from the Insinkerator: particularly foul. Usually I use half a lemon, but I got no lemon. Check under sink and usual cleaners (409, Toilet bleach, Windex) are all getting pretty low. But there in the ba... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1412096317 | 1412110853 | t3_2hwkpj | t5_2to41 | 63 | Foxlily: TIFU by trying to get a Girl Scout badge
Quite clearly, this didn't happen today, but it was only recently that I realise what a monumental fuck up this was.
Now, throw it back about 15 years or so. I am about 8, and a good little Girl Scout. Back then my best friends were all a year above me, and so had alre... | 3 | 21 | |
1409698086 | 1409759383 | t3_2faxb5 | t5_2to41 | 6 | Aquaman_Forever: TIFU by ordering some stuff on Ebay.
Happened almost exactly a month ago, so I might as well post the story now.
Sometime towards the beginning of August, I decided to binge buy a bunch of blu rays off Ebay. I was going to spend a week at my cousins house and he wanted to show off his new projector, s... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1411942736 | 1411943672 | t3_2hqfxp | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not getting fully informed before moving to another country
All right so about a week ago I finally got my current dream job if becoming a family's AuPair. If you don't know what an AuPair is, and that's okay I didn't either til about a month ago, basically I move into a family's home, they house me,... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1412102070 | 1412169043 | t3_2hww9d | t5_2to41 | 212 | ahahlooc: TIFU by taking ecstasy while on my period.
This happened a couple years ago and I feel like the title says it all. But, the details follow!
My boyfriend and I had been dating for a while. We had done ecstasy together before and when my sister invited us out to a college party we decided what-the-hell-why-not... | 6 | 35.333333 | |
1412102660 | 1412104046 | t3_2hwxdd | t5_2to41 | 8 | throwaway_sick: TIFU by calling out of work
So this TIFU started last Thursday technically (it's currently Tuesday). I got supremely drunk Thursday night and so I called in Friday morning sick. Boss was cool with it. And I continued to party through the weekend, got supremely drunk Sunday night too with every intention... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1412102598 | 1412108729 | t3_2hwx9n | t5_2to41 | 6 | UnknownAzn212: TIFU by buying Ultra tickets
So Ultra tickets just went on sale today and just like anyone else I was pumped. 6 friends and I all wait patiently as we wait for our turns to buy the tickets. We all signed up for pre-registration so we can by Tier1 or Tier 2 tickets which were $300 and $380 respectively. P... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1409704888 | 1409797740 | t3_2fb8ze | t5_2to41 | 169 | theyseemewhalin: TIFU by sending "Hell yeah im jacking off right now" to my Grandma
First of all, screw throwaways.
A little backstory: I'm a regular redditor on a lot of innocent threads. However, my girlfriend and I get into some pretty heated texts/Snapchats. We have been dating for 2 years now.
So my gf and i ar... | 4 | 42.25 | |
1412102029 | 1412155178 | t3_2hww5z | t5_2to41 | 6 | lex_89: TIFU by sending a text to my boss's wife not my coworker
My coworker and I think that my boss and his wife are both gay. They just recently got married and it was super fast and we all thought he was gay and started to think his wife was lesbian. His wife works with us too... small business... well my coworker,... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1409705660 | 1409709696 | t3_2fba6w | t5_2to41 | 16 | Firearm2112: TIFU by staring at a girl with a spiked dog collar
So today I was at the mall with a buddy of mine. It was getting kind of boring so I suggested we leave. We both stepped onto the escalator, and me being the 17 year old, super observant asshole I am, spotted a girl, a little farther up on the escalator wea... | 4 | 4 | |
1412102333 | 1412188176 | t3_2hwwrv | t5_2to41 | 1,382 | ChurchOfSkatan: TIFU by noticing the amount of sausages a customer was buying.
So I work at a grocery store, and I have the lovely position of basically doing everything the cashiers of the store are too lazy to do. In this particular instance, I was at the end of a counter, bagging the groceries for the customer.
Now... | 7 | 197.428571 | |
1412102609 | 1412131795 | t3_2hwxaf | t5_2to41 | 14 | princeoflorence: TIFU by drinking too much at the Passover Seder
Been on here for a while getting endless entertainment at work, so I thought I'd share the love.
Obviously this didn't happen today (because let's be honest, almost none of these posts have), but several years ago. I was about 14, and as a scrawny white ... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1412102727 | 1412105239 | t3_2hwxhn | t5_2to41 | 5 | njdiver: TIFU by smashing my head through the wall while drunkenly looking for a condom
Okay, so this didn't happen today, but rather last winter. I was invited by a girl I bad been hooking up with from time to time to go up to her aunts log cabin in Vermont for a snowboard trip. There was 5 other girls going and only ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1412118474 | 1412157911 | t3_2hx0xl | t5_2to41 | 18 | boxesareboxxy: And thats why you're miserable, son.
Franco_DeMayo: You deleted some shit quick. I got to read it from my inbox, though. Why backpedal now? Stick to your guns. You obviously feel strongly about it. Plus, the homophobic stuff you deleted really offered a more rounded portrait of you as both a person and a... | 8 | 2.25 | |
1409707994 | 1409756474 | t3_2fbe0p | t5_2to41 | 22 | massivechicken: TIFU by wrestling with my whippet
I got home from work and got changed into tracksuit pants for the gym. Before I go I like to wrestle with my 5 year old whippet, Norman. We were going at it with my wife and son watching and laughing. At some point I was face down on the carpet and he was nipping at my... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1409707092 | 1409709893 | t3_2fbcki | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by cutting ties with my best friend
I heard from a friend that she told them about something I didn't want shared. It turns out that she may not have done that and I cut off ties with her for no reason. Pathetically, I begged for her to my friend again right after being an ass to her about the gossiping... | 3 | 2 | |
1409709522 | 1409734472 | t3_2fbgfz | t5_2to41 | 232 | sudsu: TIFU by petting my cat
One rainy morning i wake up at about 4am cause my cat had just noisily landed in my bed and was doing her whole purring and fawning for attention thing, i try my best to ignore her so she'll let me sleep and eventually she does settle and quietly lay beside me.
After a a few moments i rea... | 3 | 77.333333 | |
1412089963 | 1412117966 | t3_2hw8x5 | t5_2to41 | 17 | peoplehelper: TIFU by calling my future anatomy teacher mediocre
First of all, I'm not English native, so please excuse my errors.
Secondly, I was invited yesterday at a party. It was the birthday of the boss of my girlfriend. She is working part time at the biggest private hospital around and, obviously, all the othe... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1409710146 | 1410115612 | t3_2fbhh7 | t5_2to41 | 140 | Pick234: TIFU by sucking my own breast
After seeing a few posts of breast sucking I thought ....
Hmm I'd really like to feel my breast getting sucked...
Is also like to see what it felt like to suck a breast....
Needless to say ..
Sweaty man boob is never nice to suck.. Even if it's your own.
mrdoubleq: Is the... | 6 | 23.333333 | |
1409710769 | 1409781170 | t3_2fbiht | t5_2to41 | 18 | AlphaDuckling: TIFU by almost gassing myself to death (or at least poor health)
Backstory: I live in the basement at my parents place. Lost my job in another state and had to move back for now.
So there's a drain for the washing machine in the middle of the floor. I use it to pee, because going upstairs will usuall... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1409710416 | 1409712170 | t3_2fbhxg | t5_2to41 | 9 | Thirdplaceamctest: TIFU by recycling
I just got done doing homework a bit ago and I decided to get a glass of milk because I was pretty thirsty. I'm not much of a recycler but my sister is crazy into it so I thought I might as well recycle the now-finished milk jug. I washed it out, and there was a box on top of our re... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1409703597 | 1409800435 | t3_2fb6t2 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a zombie preparedness plan.
Obligatory long time lurker, first time poster, etc.
So, like most on this subreddit, my FU happened a few years back, but still I cringe at it every once in a while. I went to a private middle school, and I heard about all these awesome Model U.N. programs. Wantin... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1409714670 | 1409715111 | t3_2fbohx | t5_2to41 | 7 | HeavyNinja17: TIFU by asking a priest if he wanted some peanut butter
Ok so like every other post this happened 4 years ago, right as I was entering high school.
My friends and I were at a Christian camp a couple weeks before school started. It was like an adventure camp (we did paintball, mountain biking, rock climbi... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1409714001 | 1409715875 | t3_2fbnie | t5_2to41 | 7 | entropy26: TIFU by staying home from work.
This happened maybe a year and a half ago when I was working at a job just after I graduated from college. I'm living at home with my parents and as anyone who's done the same can tell you, it's amazing to just have the house to yourself! So one day I decided I would call in t... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1411532994 | 1411621123 | t3_2haudj | t5_2to41 | 72 | [deleted]: TIFU by having unrestricted all night sex with 2 women on a work night in my bosses house (while my employee slept in the room nearby)
I travel for work and found myself in a new city with a new drinking buddy and on our first friday night decided to go out and see what the town had to offer.
We pre-gamed f... | 9 | 8 | |
1412107026 | 1412108376 | t3_2hx60h | t5_2to41 | 5 | throwaway-wtfdid-ido: TIFU by masturbating at a school. [NSFW]
Throwaway because I can't breathe right now that's so fucked I am.
So I work part time at my high school school from which I graduated 2 years ago. I work evenings, and so after work (8:30pm) I am usually the last person there.
So this all started last w... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1409716753 | 1409720755 | t3_2fbrlb | t5_2to41 | 38 | minnelol: TIFU by getting a prospective client detained by the police
So this was a few years ago, but in a previous job we had these emergency transponder silent alarms where you press the button and it alerts the police there was trouble and that you were in danger and could not reach the phone. So as a joke, I made ... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1409718204 | 1409719822 | t3_2fbtqn | t5_2to41 | 6 | Ambinevolence: TIFU by working out in boxers
I went to the gym on short notice today - just threw on some random shorts, grabbed a T-shirt, and flew out the door. When I got there I decided to do a 40-minute 10mph elliptical jaunt. A little bit more intense than I'm used to since I wasn't going to do any lifting, but n... | 3 | 2 | |
1409719460 | 1409728293 | t3_2fbvg0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my best friend i was gay.
I had a really really good friend from last year, he was homophobic as hell. we split and went to different schools so in my head i thought "fuck it." and told him i was gay. He was pretty surprised, and told me if i touch him he'll break my face. I fucked with him a... | 5 | 1.6 |
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