start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1409808483 | 1409809553 | t3_2ffhmh | t5_2to41 | 5 | Iamdefinitely18: TIFU by cussing in front of my mom.
This actually happened today, so I thought I'd share. I was driving with my boyfriend and my mom when I nearly missed a turn I usually take to get onto the freeway, so I said to my boyfriend, who was sitting next to me, "I fucked up." I totally forgot my mom was in t... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1409807888 | 1410535409 | t3_2ffgyv | t5_2to41 | 885 | [deleted]: TIFU by fapping to pictures of my sister
So earlier today I get a text from my best friend and told me he had the day off, and as a lonely unemployed depressed guy, I was happy to go over with him and watch some Netflix and drink some beers.
Me and this guy have been friends since kindergarten. We were en... | 14 | 63.214286 | |
1409808190 | 1409853752 | t3_2ffhb8 | t5_2to41 | 2 | perimason: TIFU by setting a rat trap
This was far from my finest moment.
About a week ago, I had noticed a big, black, hairy rat scoot into the foliage right next to my garage. While these plants are neither dense nor thorny, I decided not to follow it or try to chase it out, as I was wearing shorts and sandals at th... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1409811896 | 1409884157 | t3_2fflc8 | t5_2to41 | 198 | plateletP2Y12: TIFU by standing to wipe (NSFW?)
This wasn't today but more like a decade ago while I was in bootcamp.
For some reason when I was little I would always stand up to wipe my butt after pooping. Don't know why I just always did. Also it is important to note that I would stand up and then turn around to face... | 10 | 19.8 | |
1409812932 | 1410007745 | t3_2ffmfe | t5_2to41 | 85 | KoboldCoterie: TIFU by poking a hole in my ceiling.
This past Saturday, Andy, a housemate, was reading in our dining room, and called me in, telling me he thought he heard something strange, and wanting to know if I could hear it, too. I listened carefully for a few moments and sure enough, there was definitely a sound... | 5 | 17 | |
1409812493 | 1409813263 | t3_2fflyf | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by having the most epic bachelor party ever, consequently destroying families along the way.
Let me start off by saying this is 100% true. This bachelor party was like something out of the movies. Strippers, hookers, drugs, alcohol, fighting, and just all around total fuck ups.
We will start off on Fr... | 3 | 3 | |
1409814355 | 1409826194 | t3_2ffnoy | t5_2to41 | 15 | Brorly: TIFU by borrowing my best friends motorcycle.
So this happened a couple of weeks ago. Me and three of my friends were on motorcycle vacation.
We stopped at a dealership because one of them wanted to try out a new bike. The sales dude recommend a route since we weren't familiar with the town we were in.
Anyways... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1409813870 | 1409816617 | t3_2ffneg | t5_2to41 | 29 | masterkittens: TIFU by enabling push notifications on the "Glow" app
So for anyone (mainly guys) who doesn't know what the Glow app is, it's basically this thing that tracks your menstrual cycle and will chart out your expected date and also useful stuff like when you're most fertile for if you're trying to conceive, r... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1409814254 | 1409843468 | t3_2ffnle | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by feeding my new girlfriend bugs.
I have just starting seeing this lovely lady I've known for quite a long time, it's all been building up and we've finally got together. Great success.
I like to think of myself as a pretty good cook, and she is a big fan of Kraft Mac & Cheese. "Perfect!" I thoug... | 3 | 5 | |
1409815332 | 1409875708 | t3_2ffopk | t5_2to41 | 13 | OPPro: TIFU by trying to clean
tl;dr: took a laxative, backed up my toilet, cleaned up shit water for two hours, did not get laid.
I clean when I'm sick. Today I was sick and decided to clean. I grabbed all my toilet cleaning stuff, scrubbed the shower on my hands and knees, yada yada yada. I tried to get fancy with i... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1409817770 | 1409829495 | t3_2ffqvb | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my boyfriend do anal with me.
This was a few months ago. Now me and my boyfriend had tried anal a couple times, he loves it but I'm not too keen on it, it hurts a bit and I'm very self conscious and aware that he's sticking his dick where I shit from.. It's weird.
So anyways I thought I'd be ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1409817671 | 1409819978 | t3_2ffqri | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my face close to my FWB's butthole while getting him off. [NSFW]
Me and FWB were messing around, having fun times. I can't have sex for at least 24 hours (gyno appointment) so I wanted to help him out. But no matter how hard I seem to try, he couldn't cum.
We found out the reason a moment to... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1409819432 | 1410647554 | t3_2ffs85 | t5_2to41 | 9 | NoxiousKnocks: TIFU by stating my fake penis size!
MrCrippl3: Would make it clearer if you had of said "4 point 10 million" inches, which is the same as 4 inches instead of 4.10000000 since that still looks like a small number :3 May want to fix gramma errors. Still funny though, have theoretical gold.
SirPankake: Heh... | 10 | 0.9 | |
1409820677 | 1409905468 | t3_2fft97 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Admiral_Jawa: TIFU By having a blacklight in my room and showing it off before testing it
I decided to add blacklight-illuiminated posters to my room because they look awesome. The place where the posters are at is right by my desk and my bed is nearby.
Anyway, I installed these large blacklights near my poster and d... | 5 | 5 | |
1409820962 | 1409859958 | t3_2fftid | t5_2to41 | 5,020 | OptsDan: TIFU By going HAM on a girl update
The morning after,
The sun did rise,
I looked below,
To find no surprise.
Penis in trauma,
Writhing in pain,
Dried blood around me,
Bedsheets now stained.
I got up and ready,
A piss I did need,
So I went to the loo,
But continued to bleed.
... | 11 | 456.363636 | |
1409819685 | 1409862953 | t3_2ffsga | t5_2to41 | 17 | charcoalsky: TIFU by eating raw hash
My story begins yesterday, when I was sitting here at my desk and decided to eat a little raw hash. I think altogether I ate about 4 pea-sized pieces, not thinking they'd get me high (I've been reading up on eating raw cannabis lately, which is why I decided to eat some of the hash)... | 9 | 1.888889 | |
1409822688 | 1409834940 | t3_2ffuxs | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by implying I had ordered Fifty Shades of Grey nipple clamps on Facebook
So a couple of weeks ago I ordered a Lone Ranger Crystal figure for Disney Infinity from Toys R Us. I got the card for it today to exchange for picking the parcel up at my local post office/newsagency.
I walk to the PO and do the ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409818963 | 1409823605 | t3_2ffruo | t5_2to41 | 11 | OptimismIsFoolish: TIFU: I hit a woman with a cart today at work
Had an accident at work today. I was pushing a line of 4 carts, and some customer darted out. I didn't have the carts pushed together enough, and one got loose and hit a 75 year old woman. I had to write up an incident report. Security camera footage was ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1409829032 | 1409880917 | t3_2fg0jr | t5_2to41 | 127 | shrek8me: TIFU by committing one of the worst atrocities to mankind.
I found my old Nickeback cd and blasted the shit out of it in my car. I realized what I had just done but it was too late. I felt dirty and ashamed.
Ianrathbone: If it makes you feel better, you didn't play your Lostprophets CD
Heetler: What's wrong w... | 6 | 21.166667 | |
1409829986 | 1409830238 | t3_2fg1gb | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating someone else's Poptart
So I'm walking past some desks at work this morning and I see this Poptart left out.
Well I was really hungry and I left my wallet at home and couldn't buy breakfast. I just couldn't leave it so I quickly swooped in and ate it right there. Clean, easy, simple.
Turns ou... | 3 | 0 | |
1409830310 | 1409870605 | t3_2fg1s2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Homeskewled: TIFU by not moving the plant a litter further.
Dear reddit, this is my first post and I feel it necessary to announce that I am posting from a phone. Please forgive any bad formatting/grammar.
This incident occurred yesterday, but let's start with a brief backstory. I am a full time college student, I wor... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1409831227 | 1409849925 | t3_2fg2qf | t5_2to41 | 7 | dick_bastard: TIFU by eating someones Poptart at work!
Normal morning, got to work, saw a wildberry Poptart just lying there on the floor, picked it up with me and ate it. Worst decision of my life. I'm writing this on the toilet cause i got explosive diarrhea. The asshole laced it with prilosec or something.
BlknTan99... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1409825394 | 1409834646 | t3_2ffx8v | t5_2to41 | 12 | leoclancy: TIFU by not remembering a customer
So, context. I currently have summer job working in a local amusement park in a small town within Northern Ireland. One of the requirements for this job is to operate the ghost train carts as they go in one door and come out the other, while allowing customers on. Using a o... | 3 | 4 | |
1409832949 | 1409852654 | t3_2fg4n1 | t5_2to41 | 459 | Friendlyneighbour69: TIFU by getting a blowjob [NSFW]
OK guys first of all, this is my first post on reddit and my first language is not english, so sorry for bad formatting, spelling etc. .
So i'll start this off with a little back story, me and my girlfriend are happy together and things like sex or similar are bec... | 8 | 57.375 | |
1409832883 | 1409884866 | t3_2fg4k2 | t5_2to41 | 31 | lucasrks10: TIFU by drunkenly having sex with my girlfriend and eventually finding "Nemo"
This happened a little over a year ago, but after reading another post that had a similar experience, I decided it was the right time to share my girlfriends and I "finding Nemo" fuck up.
My girlfriend, who is 10 years older (I... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1409833414 | 1409862130 | t3_2fg571 | t5_2to41 | 24 | PM_ME_BOOBIESplz: TIFU by having too many covers
So, today I decided I might try out one of those hypnosis "hands-free orgasm" audio files on /r/gonewildaudio
So as I got to bed I put on my headphones and tried to get comfortable before putting on a >40 min clip. First off it was fine, I was becoming relaxed, had s... | 3 | 8 | |
1409833457 | 1409856979 | t3_2fg59h | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: TIFU by farting on a handicapped girl
This happened a couple of years ago.
I was standing in the vestibule near the front entrance to my son's school, waiting to pick him up at the end of the day. Other parents were gathering around and quietly socializing. A friend of mine came up to me, and we started B... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1409831811 | 1409840451 | t3_2fg3dg | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking the wrong pill
Woke up at 5 to get ready for work. Half asleep in my semi-dark apartment, I reached for the medicine cabinet to take a tylenol for a mild headache. I'm currently sitting at the computer at work high as shit and realized I took a percocet from when I was hit by a truck in a car ... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1409833983 | 1409836931 | t3_2fg5wz | t5_2to41 | 15 | matt23a: TIFU by getting drunk with familiy NSFW
This is my first time posting. My TIFU happened last night. I am an 18 year old who is a very light drinker. I am usually very shy and I do not speak much at all.
It was my mums birthday so my familiy(my dad, mum, sister, sister's BF, my grandmother and me) went out for... | 5 | 3 | |
1409834876 | 1409889223 | t3_2fg6yu | t5_2to41 | 15 | jambawilly: tifu by logging into fb
Currently my gf and I are doing long distance. Right now she's in Tahiti for a study abroad program. She's been there for a little over a month now. We talk maybe once a week and only on fb chat. It sucks but were making it work. I deleted my fb long ago and made a new one specifical... | 3 | 5 | |
1409836272 | 1409885734 | t3_2fg8wy | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU by picking my nose at a red light
This happened about a decade or so ago.
I was single at the time, and (as such) preparing for a get-together at my first apartment. We were out of beer, so a friend of mine and I headed to the store to get some good supplies for an evening of euchre and booze.
On our... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1409837759 | 1409898380 | t3_2fgaz8 | t5_2to41 | 1,586 | watching98: TIFU by trying out my new Aneros when my wife was out shopping NSFW
I am a 100% straight male, happily married for 2 years. Before we married my wife was asking me about ass play and trying to push me to try it. I said I would think about it and we dropped the topic for a while. She enjoys anal and wanted t... | 12 | 132.166667 | |
1409838082 | 1409843677 | t3_2fgbgm | t5_2to41 | 13 | windows013: TIFU: My Little Porny
Sure, my personal porn is not on the cloud or in heaven or whatever. It's on my hard drive.
(sexy female whisper): . . .'your secrets are not safe' . . .
When my PC fumbled and failed due to a blower fan issue, I turned to my Christian-dude tech-wiz PC-geek wizard friend to fix it. ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1409799683 | 1409856974 | t3_2ff5g9 | t5_2to41 | 16 | kindpotato: TIFU by fixing my allergies with peppers.
Well I don't know if it's normal for this time of the year but I have REALLY terrible allergies, and I was producing shit tonnes of snot and having crazy sneezing fits. So naturally I look up how to get rid of hay fever on the internet and VOILA capsaicin (the oil t... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1409838076 | 1409960175 | t3_2fgbg5 | t5_2to41 | 37 | shittyideas69: TIFU by drunkenly logging into my old work's facebook and twitter accounts.
Back story time: I worked as head chef and back of house manager for a low quality, independent bar/restaurant in the centre of a major British city. By the time I quit my job, I had become very close friends with the general man... | 8 | 4.625 | |
1409838829 | 1409840343 | t3_2fgcjc | t5_2to41 | 18 | Webley_Webb_THREE: TIFU by answering the door whilst covered in stewed fruit
Yesterday I had the day off work, got up at about 10.30am, and looked around in the kitchen for something to eat. There was a pan of stewed plums on the hob, left over from what I cooked up the night before. I poured them into a tupperware con... | 6 | 3 | |
1409839962 | 1409845938 | t3_2fgeba | t5_2to41 | 10 | Kasianic: TIFU by embarrassing myself with poor spelling
This is obviously a mild fuck up and nothing near as mortifying as many of the TIFU stories on here but it's still embarrassing.
I just realized today that I've been spelling my son's teacher's name wrong. He's in first grade and has been in her class for the la... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409844839 | 1409928155 | t3_2fgmq7 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by washing my eyebrows with hair conditioner?
So I took a shower the way that I would on any other normal day, only today I massaged some deep hair conditioner into my eyebrows. I'm not sure why I thought this was a good idea, but I did it anyways. Now my eyebrows are sticking together and falling out. ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1409846533 | 1409865229 | t3_2fgpq6 | t5_2to41 | 21 | airresistanceisabish: TIFU a nice lady's internet connection
An older woman was having networking issues and she asked me for help because I'm "good with computers".
The problem was that the internet doesn't work when connected with an Ethernet cable but wifi still works.
So after spending 2 hours of her time and mul... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1409846816 | 1409861966 | t3_2fgq7i | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my friend mace the hell out of me.
I had a few last night and was feeling like a tough guy, so I told my friend I wanted to know what it felt like to get maced. I gave her permission and we went outside where the deed was done. She got my whole face and neck from about a foot away. I immediat... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1409845563 | 1409870566 | t3_2fgo1i | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my girlfriend a concussion
Technically it was yesterday, but I gave my girlfriend a concussion. For future reference, we are all seniors in high school, that's why this all seems so childish.
It was by accident, but here's the situation. When my girlfriend and I were eating with friends at Pa... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1409851205 | 1410027675 | t3_2fgyic | t5_2to41 | 1,185 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving the house when my Mom told me she had given up on life
I've posted a couple of stories in the past few days that everybody seemed to enjoy. Again, I'm bored at work, so I figured why not another one. This one is a not very happy and funny like most posts on this sub are, but I think it's prob... | 7 | 169.285714 | |
1409854241 | 1409917005 | t3_2fh1hl | t5_2to41 | 282 | javaski: Just stare into his eyes and piss in the corner of the kitchen to show your dominance.
grizzlychamp00: my cat does this bullshit. what a dick my cat is.
[deleted]: Just pee on your cat to show your dominance
masonsdad1288: I honestly really can't think of any better way of asserting dominance than that. If ca... | 5 | 56.4 | |
1409853147 | 1409957149 | t3_2fh24d | t5_2to41 | 7 | Critanium: TIFU by giving my steam profile to a friend.
So, today during my late lunch, the girl I sit with mentioned that she had a steam profile and plays CS:S and CS:GO. I was interested, so I gave her my steam profile name.
Now, my steam profile is usually seen only by my friends (Who understand my crude jokes) an... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1409854135 | 1409866466 | t3_2fh419 | t5_2to41 | 68 | CucumberBear: Tifu, by going to Panda Express.
Unlike most fuck ups, this happened literally 15 minutes ago.
I work a security job across from Panda Express and decided Chinese sounded awesome today. Oh, how I was wrong. I enter the store and the smell of fresh chow mein and egg rolls filled the air.
I order the chow... | 5 | 13.6 | |
1409856178 | 1409879078 | t3_2fh7sy | t5_2to41 | 96 | [deleted]: TIFU by cunt punting a girl
Well in short, we were playing football and she wanted to be the QB. Okay, no harm in that. Well... when she called "hike" I kicked the football and it slammed the living shit out of her vagina.
She went down. I fucked up
Edit1: She texted me saying "so you made my vagina sore!... | 5 | 19.2 | |
1409857773 | 1409860178 | t3_2fhb13 | t5_2to41 | 10 | TIFUby11: So, TIFU by leaving the door just open
This story is about as predictable as they cum. Just trying to get it off my chest (hence the throwaway account)
I'm a male in my mid twenties, with a girlfriend that lives really far away. I live in an apartment complex, and I'm relatively near the main entrance, whi... | 7 | 1.428571 | |
1409859655 | 1409860229 | t3_2fheze | t5_2to41 | 12 | --LookOUT--: TIFU by purchasing NFL ticket on craigslist
Look, I'm no dope. I've been around, you know? I got all caught up in the hype and screwed the pooch.
I'm heading out to San Francisco in a week and looking forward to seeing my Niners in their new stadium. First regular season game at Levi Stadium - I'm pre... | 3 | 4 | |
1409859843 | 1409894237 | t3_2fhfb5 | t5_2to41 | 9,878 | ireallyshouldknock: TIFU by barging into my sister's room
Yesterday afternoon, I was just finishing my homework and ready to unwind with some Mario Kart. Last time I saw the game was in my sister's room. I thought she was at a friend's house, so I barged right in to take it back.
I opened the door, and my heart stoppe... | 19 | 519.894737 | |
1409858317 | 1409862500 | t3_2fhc99 | t5_2to41 | 10 | Spizam71: TIFU by snorting a mound of urine soaked baking soda
This actually happened last night before bed....
A little back story....last Saturday the wife and I are at a neighbor's house drinking heavily and having a great time. After many shots and beers my wife decided to head back home. Everything was a typical ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409860998 | 1409874442 | t3_2fhhej | t5_2to41 | 20 | MrsQueefqueg: TIFU by queefing on my husband's face
Husband came home from work this afternoon while Child was still napping. We decided to try to sneak some sexytimes in while we could. I'm not a big fan of PIV these days, thanks to lasting damage from Child being born, so I was sitting on Husband's face. (Edit: Hu... | 4 | 5 | |
1409857314 | 1409966986 | t3_2fha0i | t5_2to41 | 8 | jayurbzz: TIFU by bringing a trumpet through Canadian Customs.
This happened yesterday. Posted this on Facebook and realized I had written it in the tone of /r/TIFU, meaning I spend FAR too much time reading y'alls fuck-ups. So here's mine.
A funny thing happened at the airport(s) today. The attractive Canadian Custom... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1409864140 | 1409864317 | t3_2fhn81 | t5_2to41 | 8 | thedigitalmilk: TIFU By Cunt Punting a Girl With a Hockey Puck
So this fuck up, as to be expected was not today. Rather it was last Friday, the day of core P.E in my High school. Now I am not a particularly athletic person but I am not that bad at sports (I know Shock). In P.E we get the choice of what sports we would ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1409866795 | 1409870303 | t3_2fhs6e | t5_2to41 | 13 | cmf194: TIFU: taking prescription drugs (some NSFW language)
UK here; I've had hypertension (high blood pressure) for some time and a little while ago it seemed to be creeping up from 'medicated, under control' to 'getting scary'. So the doc gave me a new prescription, this controlled my blood pressure but also stopped... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1409867167 | 1409867690 | t3_2fhsul | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu by trusting my ex-fiance
So I'm sharing this, not only because I hope you guys and gals can learn from my mistakes and not make this your own, and this woman really fucked me over, and damn do I enjoy this subreddit.
So, here's my story:
My now ex-fiance and I moved in together about two years ago. We... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1409867624 | 1409868538 | t3_2fhto4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | plying_your_emotions: TIFU by naming my son Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed.
First I'm not sure if this post violates the rules if it does I have no issue with it's deletion.
A friend of mine recently moved to this country and has had a child. Now, where he is from Mohamed is a common name, so common in fact that it is his f... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1409867246 | 1409914192 | t3_2fhsze | t5_2to41 | 202 | elkarcher87: TIFU by not shaving my balls.
This happened 2 years ago so fuck you.
I was a senior in high school and was a three sport athlete. Around December I started to notice the size of my right testicle was growing at an astounding rate. So fast that people would notice it in the locker room and freak the fuck o... | 10 | 20.2 | |
1409868526 | 1409931984 | t3_2fhv8c | t5_2to41 | 5 | Mcholypotato: TIFU by not holding the elevator
I had just bought food on the lower level of my office and got into the elevator alone, headed back up to eat at my desk. As the doors were closing some Guy Fieri looking woman with a bright pink silk collared shirt yells, "Hold the elevator!". I start spamming the close b... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1409868614 | 1413500481 | t3_2fhvda | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not speaking to this girl on the train.
sytycdc: Good luck finding her!
DeanH1996: Thank! I'm currently searching facebook by School/Town. Unsuccessful so far. I'll let you know how it goes.
sytycdc: I'd love to hear how everything turns out!
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1409863994 | 1409877702 | t3_2fhmxx | t5_2to41 | 10 | Quick_man: TIFU by paying my phone bill for the next 5 years.
Usually I am responsible and am ahead of the game with most things, this was almost one of those things. A couple weeks ago I decided to quit putting off paying for my university tuition and join the world of broke college kids. So with a heavy heart I opene... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409869070 | 1409874352 | t3_2fhw4d | t5_2to41 | 25 | awesomedan24: TIFU by having unencrypted porn on the desktop of my computer and making this evident to a girl on the first date.
This happened last night:
Like any college kid, I decided I'd use tinder to try to find a nice girl. One in particular stood out to me, this cute nerdy girl with the same sense of humor as m... | 5 | 5 | |
1409867738 | 1409870445 | t3_2fhtuz | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be interested in football
My boyfriend is really good friends with a family full of football buffs. All three boys in the family either starred on their high school football team or play in college (the ones who are in college did both). Their team is the Miami Dolphins. When I say they are... | 6 | 1 | |
1409858122 | 1409873951 | t3_2fhbuh | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by Starting a Grassfire
Little background here, because context: I live deep in the sticks, several miles away from a small town. My father is self employed, with his own business in this town. Our family is well known throughout the town. I used to work for him, as did another guy. Both my dad and t... | 3 | 6 | |
1409869768 | 1409952715 | t3_2fhxat | t5_2to41 | 566 | deaddogkillacat: Tifu by not getting dressed after sex
So this was about two weeks back. I was over at my boyfriends having something like a date night when he gets a little frisky. So we head to his room ( he lives with his parents and they were supposed to be out for the night) and get down to work... Fast forward 3 ... | 11 | 51.454545 | |
1409869856 | 1409878273 | t3_2fhxg4 | t5_2to41 | 25 | therealpeej3: TIFU by telling a homeless person to get a job
Reddit. I fucked up. I was walking down Boylston street, middle of the afternoon. Now I play college baseball and my parents give me a weekly allowance of 25. (Cool one bottle a week thanks mom and dad!) Me and a few friends decide to go to Wendy's. Well lo a... | 13 | 1.923077 | |
1409870533 | 1409932771 | t3_2fhykw | t5_2to41 | 1,341 | notafanofincest: TIFU by matching with my cousin on Tinder
So for anyone who doesn't know what Tinder is, it's basically a hookup app. The app shows you pictures of people nearby, you right-swipe someone if you like them (and left-swipe if not), and if they like you as well, you can message each other.
I've had Tinder... | 9 | 149 | |
1409871076 | 1409896319 | t3_2fhzg0 | t5_2to41 | 94 | Lurkinalldayy: TIFU by masturbating with a UTI.
I'm not the most eloquent writer on the planet, but I'll do my best.
Just like many other FU's here, this was not today, rather it was some 5 years ago when I was a junior in high school.
For starters, I am a male. That being said, a urinary tract infection is (as I... | 5 | 18.8 | |
1409871468 | 1409874373 | t3_2fi03s | t5_2to41 | 5 | Tncolin: TIFU by not putting Food in the Freezer
So i live with my mum and my sister, and my sister and i share washing the dishes per week. And this week is the week before my exams and i was busy doing my assignment (cause i love procrastinating) and my mind was completely blank and i forgot to do the dishes as it wa... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1409872539 | 1409948492 | t3_2fi1xp | t5_2to41 | 69 | weCouldSellGoats: Tifu by going to take a shower
So I was 13~14, below average height and regrettable judgement. Earlier that day, in school around lunch, some 6-foot bear guy, for some reason, jumps and swipes his arm up and the tips of his fingers brush the ceiling. Seeing this I think "Cool, I'm the shit, bet I c... | 8 | 8.625 | |
1409871862 | 1409880134 | t3_2fi0s8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Snoosnoo_Fish: TIFU by forgetting about my brothers history with alcohol, and the terrors of the Booze Poos.
So this actually happened today...
So, according to the title, today I suffered from the Booze Poos. I'm sure that nearly everyone that reads this is aware of the incomparable sensations this causes in your gut... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1409875005 | 1416658974 | t3_2fi5zm | t5_2to41 | 69 | Twist28712: TIFU by cheating on a girl on our first date
Ok, truth be told, this was about 4 years ago. I was 28 at the time, and I met this girl who was 20. We worked together, and one day I asked her out. My usual spot to take a girl on a date is Chile's (it works, and they're decent on food and price). I picked ... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1409872173 | 1409945221 | t3_2fi1bl | t5_2to41 | 89 | uga2atl: TIFU by answering the door at 3 am
We had a party a few years ago in college. Nothing ridiculous happened at the party, but once everyone had left and the roommates were all passed out, I noticed some flashing blue lights out my window. I went to go see what was up, and this random girl from the party comes kn... | 5 | 17.8 | |
1409875811 | 1410226978 | t3_2fi7d3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Enthereal: TIFU by going to the beach
The following takes place in Southern California.
Today, a buddy and I decided it would be a good idea to go to the beach since the local schools just started and tourist season is over. We arrive at our favorite beach and theres not a soul there. No lifeguards nothing. We're absol... | 4 | 3 | |
1409876910 | 1409955516 | t3_2fi941 | t5_2to41 | 24 | megaofthebyas: TIFU by eating too many shrooms and lying
Couple of months ago, me and a group of friends decided we were going to end the summer semester by doing shrooms together. Our experienced friend suggested we all do an eighth for our first time trying it. Such a terrible, terrible idea.
Everything was going we... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1409879209 | 1409937969 | t3_2ficq8 | t5_2to41 | 5,306 | spidergoat85: TIFU by having sex with my pregnant girlfriend.
So this all takes place last week Friday night. My girlfriend was 38 weeks pregnant and we were both waiting for her to burst anytime now. That night we watched some Breaking Bad and passed out. In the middle of the night she wakes me up by giving me oral. S... | 13 | 408.153846 | |
1409875239 | 1409941053 | t3_2fi6e2 | t5_2to41 | 86 | permanentthrowawayay: TIFU by passing an off duty police officer
Before I tell this story, I'd like to say that regardless of being pulled over ~14 times before the date of this story, I have zero moving violations on my driving record, which includes speeding tickets.
So this happened probably 4 years ago when I was ... | 8 | 10.75 | |
1409881911 | 1409932562 | t3_2figtn | t5_2to41 | 7 | Yup_I_Fucked_Up: TIFU by hinting that I am going to propose to my GF to my GF
While heavily drinking this past holiday weekend, and just getting home from an extended assignment, my GF was telling me about how all her friends are getting engaged and getting depressed about it. With being all depressed about it, she st... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1409879150 | 1409910958 | t3_2ficn6 | t5_2to41 | 29 | warshadow: TIFU by having a drawl.
Unlike most TIFU, this happened about 2 hours ago.
I walk into the office next door to my own early this morning to discuss some business with a supervisor. There are two ladies I work with sitting at their desk putting on makeup and doing their morning gossip before work starts. It... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1409875582 | 1409939539 | t3_2fi6zv | t5_2to41 | 12 | Nonosethegreat: TIFU By getting ass juice in my face (a poem)
My significant other
Is like no other
A slight attraction to pills
Fondly, he called them "the dills"
Dilaudid was his drug of choice
And despite the hesitation in my voice
I agreed to oblige in a peculiar way
To get him high for the day
He mixed the th... | 3 | 4 | |
1409882947 | 1410019438 | t3_2fiigd | t5_2to41 | 4 | program_this: TIFU by being legal in all countries except the U.S. to drink alcohol
Third year at college, and I'm feeling pretty confident at the whole partying aspect whilst being under the tender age of 21 (or so I thought...). Two weeks ago, Saturday night rolls around and my friend group and I decide to go to a ho... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1409882651 | 1409884126 | t3_2fihzk | t5_2to41 | 29 | ForgottenPhenom: TIFU By Putting IcyHot On My Ballsack [NSFW]
Whelp, this is how it started:
I was in the locker room at a local gym with some friends. We know each other very well and one of my friends had one a IcyHot roller thing. One of my friends needed it and applied it to his skin. Then one of the five guys de... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1409883520 | 1409896870 | t3_2fijb9 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to impress a girl at school
Didn't happen today, but this haunts me.
I was 10 at the time. Around that time I used to wear jogging bottoms to school, because I was too cool for the set clothes you had to wear. Also, at this point, I happened to really like a girl. I was chubby and dorky, so I... | 3 | 2 | |
1409884398 | 1412790276 | t3_2fiko0 | t5_2to41 | 12 | EyrionOfTime: Tifu by not eating leftover chicken
Okay.. so this happened yesterday but the effects of my Tifu are still in effect as I type these words.
A little backstory~
Me and my brother were going to visit our grandparents, our parents were going on a business trip to Las Vegas so we thought we'd help our... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1409885025 | 1409951239 | t3_2fillx | t5_2to41 | 12 | Dirtydirtysouth305: TIFU by causing my husband to get stitches
This actually happened today. For real. Woke up at 5:30 am for work, it's so dark, I'm so tired. I go into living room and see that my wonderful spastic cats have knocked over a huge ceramic vase that was on top of one of the towers of my entertainment cent... | 3 | 4 | |
1409887724 | 1409894694 | t3_2fipq6 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by flunking my first college quiz
This is a mild TIFU, but it happened today at least. All throughout high school, I loved History. It's my favorite subject and I always got pride in how much more I knew that my classmates. Well, I just started college last week. I had two online quizzes to do today. Th... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1409887585 | 1409922429 | t3_2fipja | t5_2to41 | 40 | helloclams: TIFU by treating myself to steak
So my girlfriend and I are grad students coming home exhausted after 8 straight hours of school. We head out to the grocery store and I decide to treat myself and get 30 dollars of ribeye steak. I've been eyeing this [recipe](http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/03/perfec... | 4 | 10 | |
1409891362 | 1409902412 | t3_2fiur6 | t5_2to41 | 63 | ShamedAboutMyPrank: TIFU by pranking my friend by defecating in his fiance's sink at their engagement party.
My best pal has become engaged. I knew I had to perform a memorable prank at the engagement party that was being held at the fiance's house.
My choice of prank was to blast ass directly into the sink in the ba... | 5 | 12.6 | |
1409885755 | 1409892461 | t3_2fimrn | t5_2to41 | 13 | Giggatron: TIFU by heel kicking a 7 year old right in his face
We were having a family bbq and some friends and co workers of my parents were invited. Naturally after one solid conversation most of the adults are too dull from years of the constant grind that I politely excuse myself to get on the sticks I have set up ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1409891212 | 1409921648 | t3_2fiuk1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Faster_Dear: TIFU by going into work early an hour early
kirigherkins: Wait, how the heck can she get away with that?
Faster_Dear: A lot of things employers do are not quite legal, but they know you won't refuse because you want to keep your job.
| 3 | 3 | |
1409894740 | 1409897237 | t3_2fiyx8 | t5_2to41 | 10 | xandirs: TIFU by opening my front door
st3dit: How is that a fuck up? You answered the door like any normal person would, the police came in and searched for someone. So you aided and investigation by letting them in. And it's not like you were hiding anything... You did the right thing.
The only thing that could be ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409893690 | 1409896670 | t3_2fixpt | t5_2to41 | 18 | stabinthedark_: TIFU by accidentally having a moment with another train passenger
So I was on the train coming home from work and I was holding onto the overhead bar for support. I saw a seat open up so I let my arm drop as I moved to sit down and as I did my finger tips ever so gingerly caressed the hair of the man ne... | 3 | 6 | |
1409897550 | 1409929494 | t3_2fj1vn | t5_2to41 | 25 | i_am_a_dumbass_ama: TIFU by fighting my friend's dad
This happened two days ago. I (male, 14) was hanging out with my friend (female, 15). We're very good friends- we've known each other since 6th grade. Now, to skip a bunch of unnecessary stuff, I'll just say that we were having sex. At her house. She lives with her m... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1409901662 | 1410011300 | t3_2fj5vw | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by "spooning" with my gf.
Actually happened last weekend. I'm 27 and have been dating my gf for 3 months. We visited her father's home last weekend (about 2 hours away from where we live) so we spent the night there.
Long story short, we started going at it while her father and step-mother were out by... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1409901270 | 1409913584 | t3_2fj5ia | t5_2to41 | 8 | csangle1: TIFU by finding out where my ex husband lives
Since my ex is bringing me BACK to court again to try and lower his child support payments, I decided to pull his address up online.
Seriously? He lives in a $250,000 home. In a great city. It's beautiful there. His new wife is a lawyer, so they can afford it.
... | 4 | 2 | |
1409902409 | 1409903375 | t3_2fj6lh | t5_2to41 | 12 | Vagabond21: TIFU by getting in my rear ending someone.
Basically I was driving down this road I take when the freeway is slow. The road was slow, but around this time it usually started to pick up pace. The road itself is narrow, only one lane per way and you can't really see ahead of the car ahead of you when it's slo... | 3 | 4 | |
1409901120 | 1409913613 | t3_2fj5cs | t5_2to41 | 10 | mydickhurtz: TIFU with inventive masturbation
I squirted suntan lotion into a latex glove, crammed it into a paper towel roll, then fucked it silly. Now I have a rash/hives on my dick. That is all.
infiniteredeye: wtf
mydickhurtz: don't pretend like you haven't tried to fuck something you weren't supposed to
TheNinjrK... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1409904143 | 1409924988 | t3_2fj82k | t5_2to41 | 15 | MrMoonMoon: TIFU by trying to talk to Mo Farah
I was working out at my university gym and in walks Mo Farah. I've seen him around campus before but i was determined to get a picture with him this time. I waited a moment whilst other gymmers shook hands and took photos. I couldn't wait any longer. I decided to go for it... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1409904309 | 1409954217 | t3_2fj86y | t5_2to41 | 474 | bestworstteacher: TIFU by joking around in class with one of my favorite students.
This happened around 2 years ago. There's a lot of background information that you don't really need, but would be nice if you could read to get a better understanding of why I did what I did.
**Background:** I was a high school math te... | 6 | 79 | |
1409899390 | 1409936018 | t3_2fj3r8 | t5_2to41 | 96 | DrunkFapAdmission: TIFU by telling my crush I got off to her
Alright, so earlier tonight I had a few to drink and was feelin pretty good. The girl I have a crush on, we'll call her M, texts me and the texts get flirty and shit. So we're asking each other questions and I think "Huh, I wonder what she'd think if I told h... | 5 | 19.2 | |
1409906272 | 1409930001 | t3_2fj9sm | t5_2to41 | 8 | PutinCrimeaRiver: TIFU by putting the wheel back on my bike.
So like most of these on here this didn't happen today. Originally i wasn't going to put it up on here buuut so be it :D . So, 2 days ago I had a pretty messed up day at work and really wasn't in the mood for anything. I had just repaired my inner tube for my... | 3 | 2.666667 |
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