start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1410341302 | 1410360764 | t3_2fzpca | t5_2to41 | 37 | mars4242: TIFU by not eating enough, and scaring my little daughter for life
Today i Fucked Up, or rather Saturday I fucked up.
A neighbor collapsed Friday evening from an epileptic seizure. While he was at the hospital with his wife, I took their two boys (11 and 8) over, entertaining them with a movie and some snack... | 5 | 7.4 | |
1410342231 | 1410355119 | t3_2fzq6i | t5_2to41 | 15 | burritobattlefield: TIFU: By accidentally telling a girl on snapchat to kill her brother who has severe down syndrome with fire.
I considered making a throwaway for this one but I'm too lazy. Around 30 minutes ago I was scrolling through my snapchat story feed. My feed usually has a shit tonne of stories because I once... | 5 | 3 | |
1410342457 | 1410362508 | t3_2fzqch | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU By body slamming a girl WWE style on my coffee table
So this is about 6 months back with a girl who I had been hanging out with and had casual sex with. Got off work and we decided to hang out with a bottle of champagne and some weed. We hang out for a bit talking and shoot the shit in my backyard for ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1410343313 | 1410385943 | t3_2fzr2v | t5_2to41 | 465 | faerietale: TIFU by having a bad sense of humour at work.
An older work colleague stated she had "lost her cursor" on her computer screen. Me being the witty fellow that I am replied "I'll be the replacement for you! Shit, fuck, bollocks! Hahaha. Get it? A person who curses = a cursor?"
Needless to say, she was not at... | 8 | 58.125 | |
1410346770 | 1410360606 | t3_2fzubx | t5_2to41 | 14 | altnabla: TIFU by dropping a bag of spaghettis
OliStabilize: Was it moms spaghetti?
Koalaeater: Knees weak
OliStabilize: Palms are sweaty
Midnightbacon101: I guess that's why he dropped it
BigBobsBootyBarn: He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop spaghetti
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1410350700 | 1410385782 | t3_2fzygp | t5_2to41 | 34 | pardragon8: TIFU by saying yes to waiting in line with someone
Come to lunch she said, it will be fun she said.
I have been waiting in line for 1 hour and a half
_Pornosonic_: You should cough violently and pretend to have tuberculosis. Helps me sometimes.
pardragon8: Damn should of thought of that
OdiousMachine: Not ... | 7 | 4.857143 | |
1410350072 | 1410397676 | t3_2fzxrh | t5_2to41 | 12,068 | BackJurden: TIFU by doing what my girlfriend asked
Last night, we were in bed and my girlfriend was scratching her eye viciously, complaining that she suffers from Chronic Dry Eye and not from Leaving Contacts in for Too Long. As we're in the spooning position, she finally sighs and asks me to "Make her cry" so her eye... | 12 | 1,005.666667 | |
1410351678 | 1410390242 | t3_2fzzki | t5_2to41 | 1,421 | UnfortunateSword: TIFU by Plowng something I shouldn't
So, over the summer I'm working as a farmhand on a county-wide spread in the Texas Panhandle. 12-hour days for $10 an hour and weekends off. I string fence, I punch cattle, I bust my ass here for 4 months in 100 degree heat.
I am on my last week before leaving for... | 12 | 118.416667 | |
1410352968 | 1410427154 | t3_2g010h | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to break up a fight
Well, this actually happened last friday night. Anyways, me and some friends were out gettin shitty and bar hopping. We decided to go this local college bar for the last stop of the night before the gf takes me home. So as were walking in, one of my mates gets into it with ... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1410355030 | 1410458508 | t3_2g03p6 | t5_2to41 | 249 | acatisnotahome: TIFU by shaving my vag while high, with headphones.
This happened a while ago. I was home alone, in the morning, getting ready to go to the beach. I woke, baked and started shaving for my bikini. It was only when I got near my labia that I realized I wasn't alone at all... While I was utterly distracted... | 9 | 27.666667 | |
1410352674 | 1411531114 | t3_2g00p5 | t5_2to41 | 34 | t3rrapins: TIFU Trusting the gaseous nature of my gas
eightNote: hey there: thanks for posting, however, TIFU is currently only accepting posts about shit on Saturdays. Please repost your story on the weekend.
RG3ST21: please repost your "today I fucked up" story on a day that isn't that actual day.
eightNote: whatev... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1410355587 | 1410356881 | t3_2g04kp | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by overcoming my writers block
This just happened about thirty minutes ago and it's killing me. I went over to my neighbors house at five in the morning today to keep an eye in her two sleeping children while she went over to the airport. All I had to do was sit here and make sure nothing caught on fire... | 3 | 2 | |
1410354147 | 1410360321 | t3_2g02fp | t5_2to41 | 24 | ohthisgirlofmine: TIFU by eating the wedding cake before the bride and groom
I've always found it fun to go to the wedding of a couple I do not know. The anonymity is freeing, to me, I could pretend to be anyone I want, and best of all if I end up making an ass of myself, which can happen from time to time if alcohol ... | 4 | 6 | |
1410358136 | 1410375062 | t3_2g08cr | t5_2to41 | 30 | Rosabella_honey: TIFU by monkey braining my future in-laws
My SO and me have been engaged for the past 6 months.We live in India,so it's a bit of a task to ~~spend some quality time alone~~ have any sort of physical relationship before marriage.We've lied at home about conferences and gone on little romantic getaways..... | 5 | 6 | |
1410359663 | 1410367377 | t3_2g0aui | t5_2to41 | 146 | kyrieileison: TIFU by letting my girlfriend experience ghost pepper hot sauce at the wrong time. NSFW
Recently, my lady friend and myself got back from a road-trip across the southern US. One of our destinations was New Orleans. During the visit, I decided that one of my souvenirs would be a bottle of Ghost Cap hot sau... | 5 | 29.2 | |
1410359759 | 1410380625 | t3_2g0azq | t5_2to41 | 277 | cjdeck1: TIFU by threatening to murder a customer.
Like many TIFU posts, this actually happened several years ago but I decided this needed to go here.
In high school, I worked at a fast food restaurant. One day, I went to work on zero sleep. There'd been a church lock-in with my youth group, and in the party that w... | 9 | 30.777778 | |
1410360463 | 1410362272 | t3_2g0c3u | t5_2to41 | 21 | kattieelove: TIFU by congratulating my boss on her birth
So a few months back I was working in my home town at the local corner store, where I had a very pregnant boss. I then moved to the city for a few month's to study.
After coming home for the holidays, IFU bad. I went to the store to pick up a few things and bump... | 3 | 7 | |
1410360689 | 1410362617 | t3_2g0ci8 | t5_2to41 | 33 | omahaspeedster: TIFU by not saying anything.
So I was at the barber last night, all dudes, and the ray rice stuff is on the TV. A dude a couple chairs down from me makes some crack about well what did she expect she already had 2 black eyes and then said I bet she will listen to him from now on. Made me uncomfortable... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1410361318 | 1410369196 | t3_2g0dn1 | t5_2to41 | 16 | ouifrancois: TIFU partying with a hobo
i hope you saw this: i was in chicago my first time on monday looking for a party. i met dwight the pickpocket and he found damn good weed and talked up every hot lady we walked by. then he popped off beer caps with his teeth and we drank ipa. i was fucked up for a minute and then... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1410361001 | 1410362509 | t3_2g0d2l | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a strippers number. NSFW
About six months ago I went to a strip club with a few friends, got a strippers number (she was probably the most ridiculously attractive woman I'd ever seen) - didn't think anything of it, I'll usually get a stripper's number when I go (I'm a good looking, rich and c... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1410332608 | 1416002888 | t3_2fzhvu | t5_2to41 | 10 | nachonaco: TIFU by putting my dog in his crate.
Unlike most fuck-ups, this actually happened within the last 48 hours.
Unlike most fuck-ups, this does not involve poo of any kind.
As my dog is still a puppy (he will be five months old). I am training him to sleep in a crate and he tends to get cranky/fussy at night ... | 5 | 2 | |
1410363621 | 1410365136 | t3_2g0huk | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By using my sock as toilet paper
T_Dumbsford: Sorry, removed per rule 10.
SimpleYetHard: Aww I completely forgot!!
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410365186 | 1410381606 | t3_2g0kmd | t5_2to41 | 37 | WigglyWormx: TIFU By Prank calling the cops
This didn't happen today, happened many years ago but I still remember well.
So I was a kid in my house on the weekend, I lived in a small Australian town and I was bored with no one in the house, I didn't have any video games or anything, So I decided calling the police and... | 6 | 6.166667 | |
1410366002 | 1410422007 | t3_2g0m2s | t5_2to41 | 126 | Cancrene: Tifu by dressing smart for a change.
So I woke up this morning, with an early morning flight and an unusual desire to look dapper for the journey. Normally I enjoy taking the plane in track suits bottoms and a baggy tshirt for comfort, but today I thought I would wear a nice shirt and nice trousers. I also tu... | 5 | 25.2 | |
1410368252 | 1410386715 | t3_2g0q8r | t5_2to41 | 8 | rawrtherapy: TIFU by leaving my cars windows open overnight
There's a HUGE FUCKING SPIDER WEB in the backseat off my car...
Scary part...
I can't find the Spider...
So I'm just wondering... in fear
[deleted]: Throw another bug into the web and wait for it to come out to eat it and bam vaccum it all up!
rawrtherapy... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410360627 | 1410372488 | t3_2g0cel | t5_2to41 | 7 | flacidfruit: TIFU and it turned out ok.
First some background:
I seriously have some time management issues. I've struggled with undiagnosed ADD all my life (just got on meds) and recently I've had troubles managing my time. Instead of being too distracted to remember appointments and class I find I get too involved ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410369744 | 1410376092 | t3_2g0t4g | t5_2to41 | 2 | GunLyght: TIFU by forgetting how elevators worked.
So I am starting my senior year in college and all of my classes were moved to a new building my college is experimenting with and because they did not complete the building in time a lot of things do not work properly.
Now after finishing my final class of the day wh... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410366124 | 1410390093 | t3_2g0mc3 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming things at work
This story actually happened roughly about a year ago, and it's not awful but it's one of those things my brain brings up every time I accidentally think about my most embarrassing moments. Anyway, on to the story!
Background: this happened at work, at the small hardware sto... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410368541 | 1410385225 | t3_2g0qrg | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming on my face [NSFW]
let me just start off by saying that i had not masturbated in a while before it happened.
I would occasionally visit massage parlours as my work involves doing a lot of physical things. so just like any other day i went to a massage joint near my house. I was serve by this... | 3 | 1 | |
1410370187 | 1410374566 | t3_2g0txk | t5_2to41 | 52 | LoydeReed: TIFU by Answering a Job Interview Question With a Meme
quick background: i'm an engineering student doing second-year-in-two because field theory is a nightmare. as a result, i have a three day week and decided to get a part-time job because i didn't work over the summer.
one of the places i applied to c... | 4 | 13 | |
1410368151 | 1410378688 | t3_2g0q2j | t5_2to41 | 23 | effinguud: Tifu by setting my helmet on fire..
So this happened in the last 24 hours. I was casually doing homework when I came to the conclusion I should do something different. I wander up stairs and into the kitchen where I decide I should make some habanero sriracha. I complete the task, and then head to a colossal... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1410371486 | 1410373649 | t3_2g0wev | t5_2to41 | 7 | KarmannosaurusRex: TIFU by talking at the urinal.
So, TIFU.
*A smidge of background:*
I work for a large multi-national Engineering company who caters to the Oil & Gas industry – people around here are pretty serious; in particular the Sales Director (mid/late 40s, overworked, and very conservative).
I am in mid ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410372407 | 1410411154 | t3_2g0y5s | t5_2to41 | 107 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my girlfriend a text
My girlfriend and I have been dating for the better part of a year, and in that time we've gotten to know each other's quirks and preferences.
One of the things she enjoys doing is calling any penis a wiener, specifically my penis. It makes her laugh, and even though I ... | 6 | 17.833333 | |
1410371494 | 1410405336 | t3_2g0wf6 | t5_2to41 | 396 | [deleted]: TIFU by miscarrying while doing a presentation about abortion
This is pretty morbid and I'm feeling kind of sensitive about this but maybe telling 70, 000 people on the internet will help. About a month ago I had some drunk sex with a guy I met at a party. I'm not on the pill and I thought he used a condom b... | 9 | 44 | |
1410364724 | 1410379019 | t3_2g0jqz | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by Calling My Entire Class Short
So my class is set so I am taller than 95% of the class.
My friend walked up to me and said she's taller than me. She is about 3 inches shorter than me. So I reply, " I know because I'm so short."
Then I realized that I'm taller than almost everyone in the class, teache... | 3 | 1 | |
1410373536 | 1410440923 | t3_2g10do | t5_2to41 | 252 | Getz15: TIFU by being a dick to a pooping coworker.
I just fucked up. Not even 5 minutes ago.
I'm a psychotherapist in a mental health agency affiliated with a large hospital in my state. My office is in a hallway of my building with 6 other therapists, and I'm one of only two male therapists in this agency. Because ... | 5 | 50.4 | |
1410368434 | 1410393338 | t3_2g0qkq | t5_2to41 | 34 | LizzyLovesLancer: tifu by letting my bf use my car
He swerved to miss a deer. My car ended up in a swamp. It's been totaled.
BigBobsBootyBarn: Were you there? Let's think about this...did he **really** swerve to miss a deer, or was he getting roadhead from a ginger tranny while snorting coke off her ass cheeks?
*I'm ... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1410374592 | 1410399849 | t3_2g12f7 | t5_2to41 | 17 | throwaway_353: TIFU by losing my condom inside an escort
Well, fuck...
So I was with an escort today in Dublin, and around 1 or 2 minutes after a position change I saw my penis is uncovered... I put it out and realise with horror that I do not have it anymore, it is inside... so I ran to the shower to clean it up. A m... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1410372277 | 1410378219 | t3_2g0xvc | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by wishing severe injury on my friend/roommate
This happened several years ago. I was living in my old college town (had dropped out already) with a bunch of friends who were either doing their masters, or working and wanted to still live the college life. My friend Tony, was one of those people.
Tony... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1410374958 | 1410401926 | t3_2g133l | t5_2to41 | 14 | lonely_poet98: TIFU by checking the history
So this didn't happen today, but last summer.
Back story:
So, my brother (14) and I (16)
Shared a room for about 4 years. In that room we had Google TV, and being the teenagers we are, we would exchange the names of porn actresses for research purposes.
Enough backstory.
O... | 7 | 2 | |
1410376127 | 1410377216 | t3_2g159h | t5_2to41 | 7 | Harpo3: TIFU by taking about a FWB behind her back
I'm a senior in high school, and for the past couple of days I've had a friends with benefits with a girl a find attractive, however some of my friends find her "repulsive". Well everyone found out, of course, and was making fun of her and I at lunch (she wasn't there)... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1410376633 | 1410445054 | t3_2g1676 | t5_2to41 | 2,949 | nh2d: TIFU by taking an upskirt of my students and presenting it to the entire class.
I'm a 24 y/o male software developer who is participating in a volunteer program which aims to promote Computer Science education in high schools.
I teach one section of a Post-AP Data Structures Course at an all girls catholic hig... | 13 | 226.846154 | |
1410379071 | 1410379707 | t3_2g1aub | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking it was ok to tell one of the worst jokes I know and never being allowed back to my friend's birthday parties.
It was a really close friend's birthday. It is tradition we go to one of my favorite beer fests with a large group of her friends. This is one of the few times of the year I truly ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1410379550 | 1410452331 | t3_2g1bph | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by downloading torrents
TIFU by downloading torrents. I received an email from my ISP letting me know that my ip address was used to download music. Torrent in fact, and i had received over 300 emails regarding different songs. I dont want to mention too many details as im not sure everything is resolve... | 4 | 4 | |
1410379125 | 1410396444 | t3_2g1ay5 | t5_2to41 | 99 | ShartsofEndeerment: TIFU by talking a walk with my girlfriend.
This isn't from today, this is a couple years ago. It was a Sunday afternoon, a gorgeous summer day. I was off of work, and it was suggested by my PETA member, vegetarian girlfriend at the time for us to take a walk in the park along the river. We dress f... | 7 | 14.142857 | |
1410377975 | 1410440566 | t3_2g18so | t5_2to41 | 70 | snickers_and_doodles: TIFU Wrong Cream on the No-No Zone
A while back I was vacationing with my fiance at his parent's house. They have a rule about not sleeping in the same room until you're married so I was on my own in an unfamiliar room. I had been getting the early signs of a vaginal infection and wanted to treat ... | 6 | 11.666667 | |
1410379775 | 1410556166 | t3_2g1c38 | t5_2to41 | 2,489 | streamsidecoconuts: TIFU telling my boyfriend to pee in my mouth. NSFW
This past weekend was fun and I'm seeing this very nice man with whom I spend most evenings. We had been out to dinner and a movie, and after some beers we settled in for sleep, maybe sexytimes. Now, weekend or no, he will get up literally ten times... | 14 | 177.785714 | |
1410379594 | 1410571850 | t3_2g1brs | t5_2to41 | 20 | saxophonefartmaster: TIFU by cultivating a monster fart and letting it go at the wrong time
Oh Reddit, today was a day of true fuckuppery in saxophonefartmaster's catalog of life.
Background:
I am a music education major at one of the most highly rated universities in my state. I apologize for all the musical jargin ... | 5 | 4 | |
1410380426 | 1410384532 | t3_2g1da5 | t5_2to41 | 3 | thatblackbrownguy: TIFU by drawing a puppy
So my teacher asked us to draw a symbol to represent love and i decided HEY why don't i draw a puppy why not I mean puppy's are cute and if you have one they love you (most of the time). So i drew a puppy and she walked by and it looked like a penis she said it out loud to the... | 3 | 1 | |
1410382299 | 1410383153 | t3_2g1grg | t5_2to41 | 4 | CantKeepItInHerPants: TIFU by talking about safe sex
So I’m 15. I’ve been dating my brother’s 16yo best friend for like 6 months now (though he and I have actually been friends for like 4 years). My parents do not know, because I’m not allowed to date and they also dislike my boyfriend for stupid reasons.
My parents ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410382728 | 1410383490 | t3_2g1hlv | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU, broke up, on the street, the floor, my pants, my shoes, my socks...
So none of my close friends is a redditor, so not a throwaway.
This happened the other day, could be a week, a month or a year for all you care, jut read the story.
So me and my ex planned a date for a Tuesday lunch, which was not-t... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1410377205 | 1410395825 | t3_2g17bq | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling the Police
This actually didn't happen today but around 2002.
I was around 6 years old and my relatives had emigrated to the UK from Sri Lanka. At the same time my cousin was arriving as she was only a teenager my mother went to pick her up. At the time I had a very strong bond with my mothe... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410383416 | 1410388649 | t3_2g1iul | t5_2to41 | 42 | SavioSega: TIFU by making a dead baby joke at work
This took place a few years ago. At the time, I was 17 and worked at a grocery store.
I was prepping the grocery store for closing with a coworker. We were about the same age and had similar twister senses of humor. We are going back and forth with jokes, raising the ... | 3 | 14 | |
1410385315 | 1410508290 | t3_2g1mee | t5_2to41 | 17 | DickScooterMcGee: TIFU by, accidentally mistyping /r/tifu at work [NSFW]
So, this happened a few hours ago, and the work day was coming to an end. I work at in IT and its not uncommon for a few of us to browse reddit in between work. The fuck up comes in when I leaned my head back, eyes closed and confidently attempted... | 7 | 2.428571 | |
1410386515 | 1410390137 | t3_2g1oki | t5_2to41 | 16 | Dynamicgoat35: TIFU by farting in front of my co-worker
I was at work today and had really bad gas due to the Taco Bell I had earlier, like it was AWFUL. There were a couple times it was unbearable so I decided to just hold it for the remainder of time I had left to work. So I'm in the hot kitchen (I work in a restaura... | 4 | 4 | |
1410385084 | 1410418543 | t3_2g1lzb | t5_2to41 | 5 | Hillo1212: TIFU by playing dodgeball with a cricket ball
A bunch of my friends are going off to university in a few days, so we were reminiscing about old times, and this piece of gold was brought up as it always is in these moments.
So there was a time when we used to hang out behind the music blocks at our old schoo... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410388418 | 1410388988 | t3_2g1rwc | t5_2to41 | 9 | HelloWalt: TIFU by making ravioli on my birthday
So today I turned 20. I’m a college student and was having a long and boring day full of classes and homework.
I finally was all finished, had just gotten home and was feeling pretty good. Instead of taking a nap I decided to make the pork ravioli that I had spent all w... | 3 | 3 | |
1410389779 | 1410451700 | t3_2g1u64 | t5_2to41 | 841 | thetimetabler: TIFU by accidentally sexting a 15yr old girl instead of my girlfriend NSFW
Me and my girlfriend took some pretty explicit pictures after having sex this morning. These included me completely naked, laughing at the camera and a few of the red handprint on my girlfriend's naked arse.
She grabbed the phone... | 10 | 84.1 | |
1410387866 | 1410396535 | t3_2g1r04 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU: Capscium Cream on BFs Inner Thigh
This was Winter 2013 - I purchased a joint and pain relief medicine from a local pharmacy. BFs mother swears by it and I decided I would try it. That night I put it on my ankles and instantly felt like I was walking ankle deep in hell fire. It numbed the pain shortly b... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410388945 | 1410392506 | t3_2g1srf | t5_2to41 | 4 | tatonka96: TIFU by trying to be a manly wilderness guide
As you can guess, this took place a few months ago.
A little backstory: over the summer I was a wilderness canoe guide at a Boy Scout camp in northern Minnesota. My job was to take groups of kids and adults into the woods for 5-9 days and teach them the ropes of... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410391586 | 1410392915 | t3_2g1x94 | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU Dumping my Gf to chase a gril I think I love and getting back with my Gf after she rejected me.
TIFU this is ongoing.
I have been with a lovely woman for almost 2 years. I enjoy her company and we get along; however we have completely different interests and ideas about life. I realised recently I didn... | 3 | 7 | |
1410391536 | 1410393649 | t3_2g1x51 | t5_2to41 | 3 | the_sweetest_fetus: TIFU by being invited
I get a phone call from my son's father at 5:45 pm. I answer and say " oh you're just now getting back to me? I called you at 4...
He tells me he is dropping his partner off and will be home in 5 minutes to jump in the shower to go meet his mom and our son at the fair(this is ... | 3 | 1 | |
1410392225 | 1410452368 | t3_2g1ydc | t5_2to41 | 10 | achoosier: TIFU by accidentally mocking a mentally challenged girl
First off I want to be clear and lay it down that this was in no way shape or form intentional. I don't condone any sort of making fun of or mocking of someone with a disability. I myself have a mild physical disability so I know how shit it can feel ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1410392763 | 1410412354 | t3_2g1z91 | t5_2to41 | 27 | jonnydaman19: TIFU by quoting South Park
So today I was sitting in class, daydreaming about South Park. I've always lived the part where the guys are swearing at each and Mr. Garrison is pissed at them. Suddenly, I hear:
"Why don't you come down to the board and do a question, jonnydaman19?"
And without thinking, in ... | 3 | 9 | |
1410392711 | 1410398358 | t3_2g1z6e | t5_2to41 | 104 | mybossesvibe: TIFU by forgetting to log out of my bosses Amazon account
Throwaway account.
So this happened last night. My boyfriend and i were chatting on the phone and somehow the topic of sex toys (specifically vibratos) comes up. I have one, but have been meeting to step my game up a bit and my boyfriend couldn't ... | 7 | 14.857143 | |
1410395450 | 1410474127 | t3_2g23t6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Stabfacenotback: TIFU by not having the ex arrested
Typical victim mentality. Last year my ex husband threatened my life while leaving my home that he had illegally entered while I was at work. It was three days befor Christmas...cops wanted to arrest him. I said no. I didn't want to disrupt the kids Christmas, but... | 9 | 0.555556 | |
1410393556 | 1410463736 | t3_2g20lt | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by sexting a pharmacy rep instead of my BF.
I am a medical resident in a big city and am currently in my second year. Every now and then big pharma companies pitching a new drug have drug rep dinners that are essentially to wine and dine us and try to make us prescribe their drug to patients. They are ... | 3 | 7 | |
1410393217 | 1410463740 | t3_2g201n | t5_2to41 | 34 | SquiIIiamFancyson: TIFU wiping my own semen in my face uncontrollably NSFW
It all began earlier today. I had contacted one of my friends about buying some marijuana. I used to be a more frequent user, but it had been about two months since I had any. I picked some up, went back home, and lit up. After a about an ho... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1410390374 | 1410403238 | t3_2g1v6g | t5_2to41 | 21 | Alias416: TIFU by telling a girl I was listening to Queen.
There's a female person in my life who I find somewhat attractive. the thing about this girl is that a defining trate of hers as an attractive person is her sizable ass. The rest of her isn't overly large but that aspect of her is. I don't think of her that mu... | 3 | 7 | |
1410392483 | 1410475761 | t3_2g1yt3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | azsincitymagic: TIFU, actually not today but in HS I totally fucked up.
This was a 1 time only fuck up so I did learn from my mistake and so far it hasn't happened again lol.
So in HS my first real GF stayed home from school one day. Now normally I plan out all the fun times we had in bed, but this one time I let h... | 9 | 1.333333 | |
1410396739 | 1410397243 | t3_2g261e | t5_2to41 | 2 | ajtrns: TIFU by leaving a lb of butter in my car all day
Not as bad as it could be. But... bought it last night and left it in a wooden toolbox on my front seat. Completely melted, leaked out of the cardstock package, and soaked the box and its contents... just poured it all out into the bacon fat jar with added sawdus... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410396513 | 1410398058 | t3_2g25nw | t5_2to41 | 8 | ChronosCog: TIFU by antagonising a convicted murderer
This happened about 6 months ago when I lived in a big lot that squeezed 6 townhouses onto it and was also on a very busy road. Naturally, parking was a bit of an issue, especially for friends or girlfriends that came over to visit. It would generally spill out onto... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1410393409 | 1410399268 | t3_2g20dc | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling in love.
Her name means Little Appealing Warrior of the Water. She is jazz, simultaneously more innocent and more mature than rock and roll. And she broke me.
I’ve always believed our names hold secrets to our destinies. Little clues to who we are and what we will become. I take hers to be a... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410397100 | 1410399996 | t3_2g26lw | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to move my semen jug and spilling it all over the living room carpet when my roommates came in.
unknown error
WPBDoc: <My brain was not even functioning properly.>
Your brain was not "functioning properly" a LONG time before you spilled your jug of cum.
You. Sick. Freak.
I-Spilled-My-... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1410396940 | 1410452760 | t3_2g26da | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU by enjoying rough sex
ShawtySayWhaaat: This isn't even tifu, I don't even know what to call it
[deleted]: TIHMINB
ShawtySayWhaaat: What?
dongSOwrong68: Today I hit myself in the balls?
E: also relevant user name
ShawtySayWhaaat: Ohh okay I get it
And not in a million years would I think my name wo... | 8 | 7.375 | |
1410392589 | 1410415072 | t3_2g1yzb | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying something that made my calc teacher assume i was calling him a fatass
So really quick backstory, at my high school I know a kid who I will call Doug. Everyone in my group of friends agrees doug is an asshole. Like no matter who it is he has something bad to say about them and can't really keep... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410401354 | 1410449935 | t3_2g2dly | t5_2to41 | 79 | tbagtrett: TIFU by trying to make a joke in class.
while in my Western Civilizations class, my professor was discussing the Iron Curtain, an imaginative barrier that isolated the Soviet Union and it's allies from the west and other non-communist countries (as I'm sure you all know). then, my professor went on to mentio... | 7 | 11.285714 | |
1410399310 | 1410471732 | t3_2g2a7z | t5_2to41 | 6 | Ultraimagination: TIFU by not clearing my browser's tabs
Its 2 days before Christmas a while back. My penis wants some entertainment so naturally I go on my phone for it. I find some good porn and fapping ensues. I'm thoroughly done with my fapping and tired so I turn it off, forgetting to clear the tabs. Remember, I w... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1410402583 | 1410474142 | t3_2g2fld | t5_2to41 | 530 | milkeater: TIFU by having sex with a cancer patient
TIFU This all happened several years ago. I ended up getting out of the Marines several years back and started bouncing at a bar nearby where I moved to so I could use the GI Bill for college and have a night job for some extra cash. It was a pretty great place, lot... | 6 | 88.333333 | |
1410402334 | 1410423310 | t3_2g2f6y | t5_2to41 | 181 | Has-seen-bad-things: TIFU by checking the browser history. [NSFW]
So I was just mucking around on the home computer today, and curious me decided to check the browser history (actually I was covering my tracks, I use incognito but you've gotta make sure). I thought my little brother might have been stupid and looked up... | 6 | 30.166667 | |
1410402204 | 1410433708 | t3_2g2f09 | t5_2to41 | 3 | FScottTitzgerald: TIFU by telling my young autistic step brother to "ask me about my fucks"
This was about a week ago.
I had taken his iPad because he had been misbehaving. He said "FScottTitzgerald, that's my iPad."
I responded with "ask me about my fucks," as I ordinarily might say when I have none to give.
So th... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1410401271 | 1410452332 | t3_2g2dgu | t5_2to41 | 136 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting trapped in a changing room.
This didn’t actually happen today, it happened some years ago when I was 14, but oh well. So the story goes like this: I was on vacation in another country and was shopping at the mall with my mom and grandmother. I needed to pee, but found that the bathroom had no... | 9 | 15.111111 | |
1410404295 | 1410404649 | t3_2g2icc | t5_2to41 | 6 | cokeandfries: TIFU by getting a $20000 drone stuck in a tree
I work for a company that builds drones for the agriculture industry. I was test flying a unit when I got blinded by the sun. Ended up getting stuck on top of a 60+ft. tree. We still haven't got it down. We're going to call a tree service company tomorrow to ... | 3 | 2 | |
1410401832 | 1410405971 | t3_2g2edm | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking my own piss
TL:DR - One plastic bottle for beer, one for used beer. Mix up, calamity.
I'm experimenting to see how long I can live in my car before I break down and just get a place, saved a good bit of money so far. On my lunch break I bought two 40 ounce beers. After work I parked, began ... | 4 | 1 | |
1410404552 | 1410405560 | t3_2g2iph | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by fingering my girlfriend
It was a romantic night. It was our last night together before I left on a plane, not to see her for months, and we were about to get it on.
I wanted to fuck her right there but she was spending a long time on the perfect foreplay. I was ready to fuck her like animal.
We slow... | 4 | 2 | |
1410405297 | 1410435873 | t3_2g2jvg | t5_2to41 | 759 | throwaway111873: TIFU by giving a blind guy a blow job at a party.
SOOOO this is something I am going to take with me to the grave. Last night I made the trek up to my boyfriends college for a night of partying and fireball infused sexytimes with the boyfriend. The night was going perfectly, good music, good alchohol, ... | 8 | 94.875 | |
1410402710 | 1410408709 | t3_2g2fs7 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking up Maslow in my Nursing textbook. NSFW
I was trying to find what chapter Maslow's Hierarchy of needs was on. Instead I found Masturbation. Being the hormonal man that I am, I decided to indulged and followed to the appropriate page hoping to find some pictures. The text was rather interesting... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410408288 | 1410408852 | t3_2g2o9k | t5_2to41 | 4 | Boomer2142: TIFU By Telling My Neighbor She Had Nice Nudes
So about a year ago I am fixing my dad's friends computer and his wife's nudes happen to be on there and I couldn't resist looking at them, then one day as I am walking my dog she comes up in a see through shirt with her breast all out and I just stare she invi... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410407895 | 1410470467 | t3_2g2noq | t5_2to41 | 29 | Ithaqua: TIFU By letting a cute girl sleep in my bed.
This happened this morning/last night. I had a few friends over last night due to the fact I got my hands on a Half Gal of Woodka. One of the people was this really cute chick who i've been friends with for a while, she ended up getting HAMMERED just like myself and... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1410408679 | 1410429276 | t3_2g2otk | t5_2to41 | 160 | DocUSA: TIFU by being a teenage boy NSFW
I'm on a rowing team. The one where we get into long skinny canoe-like boats called racing shells, and use oars to make them go fast. I sit in the front of the boat facing the coxswain, or the person that's short and yells at us to go fast.
Anyways, our cox today was a girl... | 6 | 26.666667 | |
1410408682 | 1410442679 | t3_2g2otp | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU: I was so oblivious to sex at 16 I missed my chance with a girl I now like.
When I was 16 (4 years ago) I was friends with this girl who I kind of liked more than a friend but I was so fucking shit scared of getting into a relationship with her that I kind of just blew off any advances she made. one day... | 3 | 16 | |
1410401193 | 1410483635 | t3_2g2dc2 | t5_2to41 | 43 | IRipShirts: TIFU by laying my head on a girl
Last summer, a girl who I was kind of friends with invited me to a party she was having on her houseboat. I go to said shin dig and it was a pretty good time. We never actually left the dock, but it was fun nonetheless.
Anyways, at night, we're all in chairs on the dock, an... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1410410720 | 1410420945 | t3_2g2rjj | t5_2to41 | 34 | OnMy3rdPC: TIFU by having my would-be SO pleasure me at school
Hey guys, first time on reddit.
So, Context: What i mean by "would-be SO" is that we are best friends (i'm 21, he's 20) that would have been SOs if either of us was a girl or if he wasn't straight. We've shared a number of sexual experiences and this one wa... | 13 | 2.615385 | |
1410410913 | 1410498049 | t3_2g2rsl | t5_2to41 | 241 | GameSultan: TIFU by looking for Q-tips in the tampon aisle at Wal-Mart.
So, I wanted to buy Q-tips today, reddit. I went to Wal-Mart (only out of necessity) to get some. I could not find them. I wandered the "Health & Beauty" section for at least 10 minutes looking for those cottony little fuckers.
Somehow, my sit... | 7 | 34.428571 | |
1410396701 | 1410440477 | t3_2g25z5 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be funny with colleages during 2 year of university
I do not really know who is the asshole here, but sure there is one, since one guy who I though was my friend said I was an asshole. But I think he is the asshole. You decide.
This is the thing. We are studying English along with other st... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410410918 | 1410424813 | t3_2g2rsv | t5_2to41 | 14 | class6F: TIFU by recognizing an old customer NSFWmaybe
little back story, I was a Body Piercer for over 10 years but have been out of the business for a few years now, occasionally I see old customers and we make small talk
now I believe the first telling is always better so I will just copy my texts to a friend right... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1410412376 | 1410416063 | t3_2g2tln | t5_2to41 | 5 | nsammons23: TIFU by pushing away this girl I had an amazing connection with
So long story short, I was texting with this girl everyday for like 4 months straight, but I was barely seeing her and it was annoying. At first we went on a couple if dates and everything was going perfect, but then we had sex and she start... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410413137 | 1410414772 | t3_2g2uid | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU I FUCKED MY MATHS TEACHER
MysticRyuujin: Math*
Teotwawki69: PREY*
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410408637 | 1410418591 | t3_2g2orq | t5_2to41 | 5 | BitchyMaleWhite: TIFU by acting like a serial killer.
I called Best Buy today to cancel a order I placed. The cashier that helped me over the phone had a really cute voice and playful personality. I immediately grew a crush on her over the phone. Had to see what she looked like in person. I drive to the store with some... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410416284 | 1410467607 | t3_2g2y10 | t5_2to41 | 21 | MadDogMax: TIFU by grabbing a mosquito by the wings
So last night I was at my computer, and a bug lands on the screen. Not wanting to mush little bits of bug into my monitor, and not having any tissues nearby, I decide to grab it by the wings like a ninja and flick it away.
So. I go in for the grab. Thumb and fore... | 5 | 4.2 |
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