start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1410417440 | 1410454793 | t3_2g2z8u | t5_2to41 | 20 | poorlydrawndinosaur: TIFU by unknowingly asking an American if he was having a party for 9/11.
So I guess this is more of a Today We Fucked Up Story. I work on a military base in Australia as a groundskeeper. So yesterday, me and this old guy get sent down to one of the camps where the USAF is stationed to blow out all... | 4 | 5 | |
1410417468 | 1410465878 | t3_2g2z9z | t5_2to41 | 3 | Joshywat: TIFU by getting ghost pepper oil in my eyes.
So this terrible encounter happened a few months back at school. Now if you don't know what ghost pepper oil is its the oil from a ghost pepper, the 3rd hottest pepper in the world. So there I was a happy boy after recently getting a small vile of ghost pepper oil... | 3 | 1 | |
1410417689 | 1410419653 | t3_2g2zi6 | t5_2to41 | 4 | whitesox619: TIFU by looking like a thief at a grocery store
This didn't happen today, but it happened within the past couple weeks.
A little back story: I'm a freshman in college, and I ride a motorcycle. I'm very tall (6'4''), and pretty skinny, but I do not look skinny/scrawny in the least when I'm wearing my plate... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410418496 | 1410429293 | t3_2g30b4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU trying to backbite someone who happened to be behind me
This just happened at around lunch and its 2:43pm as of writing. I happen to be a new hire and am in training. There is this girl that me and my batchmates(of new hires) find really cute. One time during lunchbreak, we were joking around after eati... | 4 | 1 | |
1410422614 | 1410457671 | t3_2g342e | t5_2to41 | 4 | PM_ME_YOUR_PLANTS: TIFU by going on the home computer after my dad was recently home alone
I was inspired to share this by [this TIFU post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2g2f6y/tifu_by_checking_the_browser_history_nsfw/)
So, like most TIFU, this wasn't today, but still.
Basic backstory: At the time, all I had... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410424671 | 1410428435 | t3_2g35v9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | oopsypoopsie: Tifu by eating a dunkin donut bagel before a road trip.
So, right now I'm on a 15 hour trip to Orlando Florida with my girlfriend. We decide that we are going to split up the drive 3 hours at a time. We decide it'd be a good idea to grab a small snack before we head out. This was my first fuck up. I ... | 7 | 0.285714 | |
1410426615 | 1410651955 | t3_2g37hj | t5_2to41 | 4,856 | Elyot: TIFU by deleting the entire mailing list acquired by my company at a trade show that we spent $6500 and 340 man-hours attending
I work at a small video game development studio. We recently attended a major exhibition/convention to promote our new title—a strategy game with real-time strategy and card game elemen... | 18 | 269.777778 | |
1410482404 | 1410567507 | t3_2g371j | t5_2to41 | 0 | escott1981: Eating pot can be very dangerous, not as dangerous as cyanide tho, but still dangerous. I was using exaggeration for humorous effect, Guy.
gearofwar4266: How can it be dangerous? Frightening? Maybe. Dangerous? Not a chance dude.
zelaar: It can totally be dangerous. People can be allergic to it, or be on me... | 6 | 0 | |
1410404504 | 1410445771 | t3_2g2in5 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting an old friend of mine know that his girlfriend sucked my dick in highschool.
I have known this guy forever, he lived one town over from me, we both lived in small towns where everyone knew each other. Our towns were so close that everyone knew each other even the next town over. Our schools w... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410431100 | 1410466966 | t3_2g3bf9 | t5_2to41 | 25 | jakartatomslk: TIFU by going to a Mormon youth dance
So I'm in High School and one of my pretty good friends (who happens to be Mormon) talks me into going to a "Dance" his church is having. Being 17 years old and full of hormones it sounds like a good idea. I figure me being a non Mormon I am going to be the forbidden... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1410432387 | 1410465161 | t3_2g3ck4 | t5_2to41 | 4,372 | ntheg111: [META] TIFU used to be super fun and elaborate stories of royal fuckups. Now, its all SEX
Take a minute to scroll through the front page of /r/TIFU.
SEX SEX SEX. Being fingered or having someone pee in your mouth is NOT a fuckup. Some of these posts are [just uninteresting](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/com... | 11 | 397.454545 | |
1410400131 | 1410483551 | t3_2g2blx | t5_2to41 | 4 | Globaltacocorp: TIFU by not understanding the origin of a saying
In a meeting with my female superior I was discussing how we made an improvement to one area but not the other and I was thinking of a clever saying to explain/hit-my-point-home.......so I went with,"...you know, does the carpet match the drapes???" Thin... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410431564 | 1410537521 | t3_2g3bu3 | t5_2to41 | 1 | sun337: TIFU by fixing a girl's life
agentlame: Removed; this is not your fuckup.
sun337: Your ignorance makes me sad. Hope you get well soon.
agentlame: Could you elaborate?
| 4 | 0.25 | |
1410435743 | 1410467131 | t3_2g3fvc | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by embarassing the shit out of my GF in front of her new friends.
Background- My girlfriend and I had been dating for about 5 years when this fuck up occurred. We were both virgins when we started dating and were each others first time.
My girlfriend has always been a bit socially awkward and has troub... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1410435930 | 1410510963 | t3_2g3g1v | t5_2to41 | 66 | laho87: TIFU by not clearing my Google search history on my phone.
I don't always use my phone to look things up, but when I do it's to prove someone else wrong. (That's a lie, I look up pretty much everything I don't know.) One day a friend and I were discussing abortion (I don't even remember why), and she was tellin... | 12 | 5.5 | |
1410439075 | 1410720571 | t3_2g3jv0 | t5_2to41 | 20 | ImapineappleIRL: TIFU by getting a boner
Currently I am lying in bed at the hospital wandering whether I can ever have sex again.
Ok, so I have this thing where the foreskin on the tip of my penis doesn't stretch all the way down. I don't really care too much about this because it doesn't really affect me at all. I am... | 8 | 2.5 | |
1410431759 | 1410444926 | t3_2g3bzr | t5_2to41 | 13 | imabassist: TIFU by getting bit by crazy
What happens on tour stays on tour! I'm a bassist/backing vocalist in a band that just got off of our summer tour in the U.S. We were playing a show one night in WI. After we get done with sound check we were playing the "hurry up and wait" game before the show started.
When t... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1410440316 | 1410582140 | t3_2g3lf4 | t5_2to41 | 8 | melonysnicketts: TIFU by not listening to my waxer (NSFW)
Unlike most of these stories I am sat in another branch of the bakery I work at drinking a sugary tea to get over the shock of what just happened:
Today I went to get a full leg and bikini line wax. No biggie, had it done before and I must say I enjoy the smoot... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410443241 | 1410492936 | t3_2g3pj4 | t5_2to41 | 147 | Swiggityswagbitch: TIFU by starting a cold war with my neighbor.
Okay, so my neighbour is rather... how do I say it in English.. a *massive ass.* and looking to start, for lack of a better word, a cold war over *anything.* Today I gave him that chance. I had been making a model rocket the past few months, and decided... | 10 | 14.7 | |
1410462897 | 1410489624 | t3_2g3phg | t5_2to41 | 8 | CubeFarmDweller: Oh, fine then! "Toaster" was the safe word and " strawhat" was the help word.
Fiery_Unicorn_Turd: How would you fit straw hat into a conversation without sounding suspicious?
"Oh hey mom! STRAWHAT"
CubeFarmDweller: A casual text like I'm checking the phone. Friend would call back in five to ten minut... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410437497 | 1410476480 | t3_2g3hyn | t5_2to41 | 7 | blasphemicassault: TIFU by ordering the chicken pesto penne
So today after a memorial service held do those who have passed away in the past two months (including my grandfather), my family and I decide to go out for dinner. We went to a popular sit down restaurant known for their rotisserie chicken dishes. I ordered ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1410444250 | 1410543478 | t3_2g3r4p | t5_2to41 | 239 | smlimes: TIFU by opening a window
Monday morning, at work in the office.
It's about 11 am and my boss calls me in to her office to talk about some meeting shit, I wasn't really sure.
Anyway, I strolled into her office and took a seat. Now, my boss is the type of 50 year old Chihuahua loving bossy lady kinda Gal, and ... | 6 | 39.833333 | |
1410444994 | 1410450746 | t3_2g3sbd | t5_2to41 | 7 | Frankeh: TIFU by ordering an untoasted sandwich at Subway.
Right, so I walk into Subway a bit hungover and order a steak and cheese. He asks if I want it toasted, I monetarily thought he asked if I want extra cheese.
I say 'No'.
He says 'Are you sure you don't want it toasted' in a disbelieving way as if I'm some fu... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1410445474 | 1410446950 | t3_2g3t2n | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU i broke up a 12 year friendship.
So basically when I moved to qld from vic I met a girl and we dated for 3 months then out of the blue she broke up with me through text :( and I didn't see her again for 6 months until I got this new job and move to My ex's town and work provided accommodation is a unit ... | 4 | 2 | |
1410444765 | 1410530095 | t3_2g3ryj | t5_2to41 | 5 | AskamilliusReddiquis: TIFU by going to an interview early.
This happened over the course of the summer.
Because my cashier work only gets me two to three shifts a week, I was in need of a second or better job. One day at the beginning of summer, I thought it would be a great day to hand out resumes. I bused out to a p... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1410446172 | 1410448385 | t3_2g3u8m | t5_2to41 | 24 | TAsareforchumps: TIFU by making a suicide bomber joke on one of the worst days possible.
Throwaway for obvious reasons. So I am a Senior in High School and today we were deciding on what are Senior Quotes will be for our school's yearbook. We are all sitting in the cafeteria with note cards and we have to write the quo... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1410446031 | 1410448162 | t3_2g3tzr | t5_2to41 | 22 | CarryingxCarri: TIFU: by potentially ruining a marriage of a customer I helped at my job.
This was about a week ago. I work at a local bicycle shop (pedal bikes not motorcycles) and was dealing with a middle aged man who was looking for a little kid's bike.
As part of my routine I ask how old is your child, is he small... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1410447169 | 1410539530 | t3_2g3vyj | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by going commando
So I am in this almost chumming phase, so I had a lot of white-gooey-stuff on my panties. So during class I decided to just take them off and put it inside my handbag, and thought I'd put another one later. But because I ended up meeting someone that I had promised to go somewhere with... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1410444017 | 1410460987 | t3_2g3qrt | t5_2to41 | 37 | in_nothing_we_trust: TIFU by setting myself on fire in a church
As a kid I used to be an alter boy in the catholic church, and before you ask, no I wasnt fucked by the priest. Clearly I wasnt good looking enough. Either that or he was racist (I'm Indian).
Anyway ... as with everything in the catholic church it happene... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1410431884 | 1410472591 | t3_2g3c44 | t5_2to41 | 13 | cotch85: TIFU thanks to my bladder!
I've read a lot of posts recently here many gave me a chuckle but I felt I owed you all something in return! So this was a couple of months ago, I'd just flown from England to Australia in search of new pastures. My cousin has been out here for 4/5 years, not seen her in that time sp... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1410447817 | 1410458787 | t3_2g3x1k | t5_2to41 | 0 | DickLover20: TIFU by letting my father shower with me.
This past weekend I made a horrible mistake by letting my father shower with me. It started when we both woke up at 6:00am, me, for an interview and my father for work in which he had to attend an "important meeting". We both were in a rush and needed to get a show... | 3 | 0 | |
1410448081 | 1410557150 | t3_2g3xje | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing Dracula
It started simple enough. "I Vant To Suck Your Blood!" I barked at her as I chased that cute little ass to the bedroom.
She giggled as i nibbled on her neck, but as I pinned her down so that she couldn't move, her giggles became grunts. "Don't leave any hickies!" She ordered betwe... | 7 | 2.571429 | |
1410449389 | 1410539649 | t3_2g3zul | t5_2to41 | 38 | sekathon: TIFU by not reading the instructions on an exam.
So I was doing my History exam, genuinely believed that I got 100%. My points were well thought out and ordered correctly etc...
30 minutes to go. I finish the paper, job done.
5 minutes to go. Everyone is still writing. God these people are stupid.
30 seconds ... | 8 | 4.75 | |
1410449321 | 1410452474 | t3_2g3zq3 | t5_2to41 | 4 | BlazingFist: TIFU by having unprotected sex.
Like most people, my tifu actually happened quite a while ago.
Back then, when I was maybe 17 or so, I had gotten rather close with a fair maiden of the opposite sex. We shall call her… Felicity. Felicity and I had been friends for a while now. I had known her since earl... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410448380 | 1410450240 | t3_2g3y20 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my co-workers to tone it down when discussing politics and religion in the office.
I am in IT, I have a cube in the corner, there are like 8 people on the floor I work on. Today the CFO comes out and starts talking about impeachments and war and sending all the naysayers overseas. Basically th... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410448882 | 1410450574 | t3_2g3yx1 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Lockeid: TIFU by watering my plant
Before I begin, there's no pun in the title.
A couple of months ago, I bought a couple of plants, including a Strelizia, which looked really great. I read the instruction sheet which was given in the plant pot.
As opposed to the other plants, this one doesn't seem to die (I don'... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1410444928 | 1410467877 | t3_2g3s7m | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving off half my eyebrow before picture day
Let me start off by saying that it was actually my sister who did this, but since she doesn't use Reddit I decided to post it for her (I'm such a good sister). So we share a bathroom and we were both getting ready for the day. She was trying to look espe... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410450127 | 1410472897 | t3_2g416v | t5_2to41 | 12 | sekathon: TIFU by destroying a friend's iPad
So I'm at a party and its dying down so I thought i'd clean up. I take my arm and swipe the entire surface of cans, vomit, food, wrappers etc into this bucket. I look into the bucket as i'm about to leave and I see an iPad.
TLDR:
http://youtu.be/N9rXVJWEais
chachachoudhary:... | 4 | 3 | |
1410450801 | 1410453048 | t3_2g42cl | t5_2to41 | 12 | BritishLibrary: TIFU by not locking the door at work
Today, I messed up.
I work in an office building. It's a pretty neat place, and I work with some of the most amazing people. The office is nicely decorated, has a few fun distractions around the office; free food, foosball, table tennis. We are all a really close k... | 3 | 4 | |
1410447548 | 1410915665 | t3_2g3wl5 | t5_2to41 | 16 | flamedarkfire: TIFU By not Closing My Browsing the Night Before, and Browsing Reddit in Class [NSFW]
Never thought I'd be posting here.
Anyway last night I was doing my usual browsing, and just before I went to bed I found something good. Well I forgot to close it out, so this morning once I got to my class and BOOM!... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1410451553 | 1410452196 | t3_2g43sk | t5_2to41 | 5 | gopherdagold: TIFU by shaving my chest
The actual fuck-up was actually three days ago but am just now seeing the consequences. Anyway so I naturally have VERY thick VERY curly chest hair, and I finally got tired of it the other day and decided to shave it off. It takes about 45 minutes and three different razors and el... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410451870 | 1410463153 | t3_2g44e0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Ibeinternetting: TIFU by eating subway and talking to a coworker
turtlesarerad14: people here whined about poop posts too so unfortunately you're going to have to repost on Saturday :\
I hate how that's a thing. If people have such a problem with it then there should be a tag with an option to have them hidden.
glott... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1410452646 | 1410471074 | t3_2g45ta | t5_2to41 | 2,176 | BleedAmerican: TIFU by going to the wrong class... for a month.
I'm a junior in college now and this isn't so much that I fucked up today or yesterday, but that I've been fucking up for the last 3-4 weeks of classes.
My Intro to Business class was added at the last second and all I had done was switch from one Intro ... | 10 | 217.6 | |
1410453189 | 1410454711 | t3_2g46rj | t5_2to41 | 8 | LyticPhage: TIFU by falling face first into a urinal
This actually happened about 8 years ago now, but thought it was worthy to post. It was my birthday and I had been out drinking heavily with a good group of friends. We had been going around to different bars, ordering drinks, attempting to dance with girls, and as t... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1410452523 | 1410484609 | t3_2g45lc | t5_2to41 | 3 | laa-laa: TIFU by ruining the extremely expensive car that belonged to the lead singer of Green-Day.
[deleted]: >VMW
Was it a new Beetle or an old one?
laa-laa: really old
[deleted]: I guess at least the part about the battery checks out then.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1410454205 | 1410490792 | t3_2g48mx | t5_2to41 | 11 | Joki9121: TIFU by playing with my legos
Built Millennium Falcon that my sis got me for my 24th birthday, showed gf and started to play with it by flying it around and "shooting" her.
Then I dropped it.
Soul crushing defeat as my gf laughs at me and my loss.
I was able to rebuild it well enough, but now I have more ... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1410452742 | 1410714405 | t3_2g45zn | t5_2to41 | 2 | Shitcicles: TIFU by accidentally going to a gay party
HankMardewkus: "Now I have nothing against gays but" I read to this point a then braced myself for the bigoted statement, "these guys really creep me out" Yeap there it is.
Shitcicles: I'm sorry if something about a guy dressed as a woman hits a nerve but I won't... | 16 | 0.125 | |
1410448473 | 1410485724 | t3_2g3y7s | t5_2to41 | 189 | evilrobotluke: TIFU by wearing gray sweatpants to play basketball after an operation (slightly NSFW?)
So the embarrassing initial detail. I had an operation called a pilonidal sinus excision. Basically an ingrown hair at the top of my butt crack was causing pus and blood to pool in a little pocket there, causing discom... | 10 | 18.9 | |
1410451404 | 1410459503 | t3_2g43ht | t5_2to41 | 2 | jeeco: TIFU by using a ghost to sexually harass my friend
I'll start off with the obligatory "this didn't actually happen today." My story actually happened about three weeks ago now.
For the summer, I held a job as a secretary of sorts for an office at my university and the job entailed of me doing various tedious jo... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410453611 | 1410497280 | t3_2g47jy | t5_2to41 | 181 | ravagedtoast: TIFU by snot rocketing on my bosses kid
So this happened a few days ago, and I've been too embarrassed to even think about it, but here it goes.
I have extreme allergies, my nose turns into a faucet and my face swells up real nice, itchy eyeballs, the works. I was having an exceptionally bad allergy day,... | 4 | 45.25 | |
1410453798 | 1410539381 | t3_2g47wm | t5_2to41 | 29 | thewisevaloo: TIFU by shooting about 25 strangers with piss
So when was about 14, (25 now) I went to a music festival with my older brother. As he is about 6 years older than me, he didn't want to hang out with me the whole time, which is fine. That's how our relationship was at the time. We had an understanding. We're... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1410451164 | 1410781429 | t3_2g4321 | t5_2to41 | 8 | GuruLakshmir: TIFU by being retarded in a chemistry lab and nearly seriously injuring myself and others
So this was a few years back and I was enrolled in an basic chem lab at my university. Now for whatever reason, I tend to have a really difficult time not being a fuck-up in this sort of thing. I'll read what the l... | 4 | 2 | |
1410438829 | 1412672756 | t3_2g3jj3 | t5_2to41 | 196 | Antrikshy: [Meta] Read the top posts from /r/TIFU on your Kindle every week!
Are you tired of reading really long TIFU posts on your LCD screen? Ever wish you could read them with the comfort of your Kindle's e-ink screen? Well, now you can.
I am /u/Antrikshy and I come with [reddit2Kindle](http://github.com/Antrikshy... | 8 | 24.5 | |
1410457010 | 1410475135 | t3_2g4dq0 | t5_2to41 | 6 | saeljfkklhen: TIFU by showing an everyday picture of my friend to her friends.
I have(?) a friend. Let's call her Claire.
Claire and I have been friends for a long time. We met online when I was a teenager. I went on a trip to hang out with her once I got my license. It was a long drive, but it was worth it. We had a ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1410446624 | 1410514207 | t3_2g3v0k | t5_2to41 | 25 | Paravin: TIFU by eating a beet salad before going partying
I live in Latvia, and we've got an amazing salad made from beets, sour cream, garlic and I have no idea what kind of amazing addition, that just makes it really tasty. However the combination does work as a real fart multiplier, as the more of this salad I eat ... | 5 | 5 | |
1410458053 | 1410477274 | t3_2g4fqr | t5_2to41 | 11 | Happy_Alpaca: TIFU By leaving my 'adult' toys out while my landlady shows my apartment...
Well, I royally fucked up.
This is happening as I post this, no time to fix it, she's already there.
Long story short, I have several... toys; I'm a gay man, so I have, you know, the usual: cock ring, a couple of dildos (includi... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1410457524 | 1410514140 | t3_2g4epb | t5_2to41 | 3,323 | Helvetica2012: TIFU by using Raphael's Nick-name
From a few months ago - I figured I"d submit a post that wasn't sex related.
So I was managing a restaurant a few months ago. For those of you who have never worked in a restaurant, the majority of them are Spanish speaking in the kitchen. My other managers all speak s... | 11 | 302.090909 | |
1410458232 | 1410508537 | t3_2g4g35 | t5_2to41 | 7 | penguinsinspace: TIFU by locking my keys to my stores money room inside the money room.
About two weeks ago, I went in to work to run an early morning stocking crew. We all get there at 4am and I start to open the store as I've done dozens of other times. I unlock the front doors, let everyone in, then lock them behind... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410460631 | 1410469308 | t3_2g4ksw | t5_2to41 | 42 | UnculturedLout: TIFU by changing the litter box.
I've got two cats. They are furry little poop machines. I have a really strong aversion to bathroom smells (yes, even cat), so I try to get it over with as quickly as possible. I pick up the litter boxes, slide a garbage bag over one end, shake it a little and all the li... | 6 | 7 | |
1410459086 | 1410673311 | t3_2g4hpz | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a bum to get a job.
I was walking down the street while enjoying my fresh bakery sammich when a bum asked me for some change and all I said was
"What's stopping you from getting a job?"
Apparently this was the wrong fucking thing to say because he got on his bike and followed me while yel... | 5 | 0.6 | |
1410460810 | 1410668605 | t3_2g4l5t | t5_2to41 | 8 | it_was_an_emergency: TIFU by bleeding while taking notes
(My first post on reddit so I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing) So today I was in class when I felt my gift from nature coming on (essentially the feeling of a waterfall in your pants) Well, being not to fond of bleeding all over the place, I went for the hall ... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1410461894 | 1410465229 | t3_2g4n98 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU-I took a drink of really Pepsi from a can on my desk at work that is about 5 days since its been opened.
BigBobsBootyBarn: At least you didn't take a big ol' chug and get a mouthful of roach that was swimming in it. That happened to a buddies girlfriend of mine. FYI we're from the southern US, so we ha... | 5 | 1 | |
1410462560 | 1410468875 | t3_2g4ok1 | t5_2to41 | 28 | samestuff: TIFU in a rolling chair [NSFW]
So like many TIFUs, this did not happen today, but last year. Baby sitter came by to pick up my kidlets and take them to the park, I had around an hour or an hour and a half to myself for once. Being the hornball that I am, I decided to break out my toys and watch some Bible Bl... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1410455479 | 1410531108 | t3_2g4aw0 | t5_2to41 | 343 | [deleted]: TIFU by using Oragel while flying a helicopter tour.
Let me start by telling you that I am a helicopter pilot. I fly tours over Las Vegas. A huge part of my job is narrating the flight and telling jokes and generally being a performer.
Now to the fuck up...
So the other day I bit my lip while eating. You ... | 5 | 68.6 | |
1410460532 | 1410469346 | t3_2g4klp | t5_2to41 | 26 | baby_mike: TIFU by peeing so hard I sharted
This took place during my college days, but a friend had just reminded me of it so I felt it fitting to write it up for y'all since you're all sadists anyway.
I was at a party at a sorority house at my college, and had imbibed a fair amount of alcohol. Due to said intoxicati... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1410465327 | 1410640258 | t3_2g4ty2 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by not paying attention back in second grade
Despite the title, this actually happened today, more or less exactly as written.
I rarely talk to anyone at my gym. The M.O. there is that everyone wears earbuds or headphones, and typically, the only interaction is the gesture that says, "are you using th... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1410464817 | 1422251719 | t3_2g4syz | t5_2to41 | 5 | dongley: TIFU by locking myself out
TIFU: So I go to take a shower in my dorm after a good run. I have an hour till my next class so I figured I should be good. I take off my glasses because I don't want them to get wet and stick them in my duffel.
I finish in about 15 mins and return to my dorm room, unlocking ... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1410465978 | 1410545911 | t3_2g4v5w | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a dick pic to my ex-wife
Some background: Received a frisky text from my ex-wife, she was missing me and my member a lot, wanted a picture to remind her of the "good old days". I quickly snapped a decent pic, making sure it looks proportionate and all, and sent it by replying to her text.
So... | 4 | 2 | |
1410465669 | 1410493659 | t3_2g4uko | t5_2to41 | 2,657 | dadontinder: TIFU by finding my dad on Tinder. (NSFW)
About a week ago, my immediate family and I were visiting a large group of family and friends out of state. My brother and I are in our twenties, and were drinking and catching up with everyone else our age while the older adults made dinner. I noticed my brother an... | 9 | 295.222222 | |
1410466547 | 1410469226 | t3_2g4w91 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Swiftii: TIFU by writing "J. Gatsby" on my Great Gatsby essay
He talked to all of his classes about it. Not calling me out, but saying how "this student shows that he didn't read the book and just saw the movie". I felt so embarrassed as everyone laughed but hey TIFU!
WWLadyDeadpool: Did you just watch the movie?
Swift... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410468768 | 1410469253 | t3_2g50km | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a friend at school
I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU PEOPLE.
The story of Balloon the 4th.
In first hour chemistry my teacher, call him Coach B, blew up a balloon. I asked if i could have it and he said sure why not. I got a marker and drew him a smily face.
This was his birth.
Balloon IV and i clicked ... | 3 | -0.666667 | |
1410469100 | 1410472404 | t3_2g518a | t5_2to41 | 7 | Reach4sKai: TIFU By making an Omelette
Well, this is probably one of my most glorious moments as of recently.
My mother has a garden in the back yard which features all sorts of vegetables in it which I utilize in cooking all the time, with the exception of one that she grows... Banana Peppers.
The peppers being fresh... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410471877 | 1410520708 | t3_2g56co | t5_2to41 | 107 | Jarrythecableguy: TIFU by letting my best friend of 18 years take and subsequently lose $8000.00 of my savings, that I'll never see again.
This happened a week ago today, but today everything changed.
Since I got out of high school I have been saving money with the intent to go travel for a year or two, backpacking. I... | 6 | 17.833333 | |
1410472890 | 1410505729 | t3_2g584r | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting 6 years of my original music onto an external hard drive as backup, and the hard drive failed.
As a composer, I spent countless hours working on orchestral arrangements, ensembles, piano works and the like. I recorded many improvisations and songs, many of them which were my pride and joy fo... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1410455053 | 1411241025 | t3_2g4a52 | t5_2to41 | 5 | thomas47856: TIFU by playing with my brother
AGoodNameWouldBeNice: Wow.
thomas47856: MORE LIKE OW AM I RIGHT?
AGoodNameWouldBeNice: why removed? :(
thomas47856: removed?
AGoodNameWouldBeNice: yup for me
thomas47856: what do you mean by removed?
| 7 | 0.714286 | |
1410471877 | 1410583714 | t3_2g56cp | t5_2to41 | 14 | thistime_neveragain: TIFU: By being a Daddy (NSFW)
I'm at the age (45) in a gay man's life where I fall into the "Daddy Category", and for the past two or three years, I've been attracting guys significantly younger than I am. Today, while traveling on business, a guy messaged me and came on pretty strongly; he said he... | 7 | 2 | |
1410473911 | 1410491038 | t3_2g59vz | t5_2to41 | 30 | Suszynski: TIFU by Not Locking My Door While Smoking
First post, please be gentle.
So it's 10:30 and I come home from class with a nice planned out evening of smoking up a tree and maybe a nice movie, then heading to bed early for a change. I eat a late dinner and settle in my room with a nicely packed bowl, some good... | 6 | 5 | |
1410472433 | 1410543297 | t3_2g57bu | t5_2to41 | 187 | grumpyguava: TIFU by picking my shower buddy while doing my time in the army.
so basically, every taiwanese male citizen has a mandatory army service of 1 year they have to serve. i spent most of my life growing up in cali, but i was still born in taiwan, so i still had to go through the whole process. (obviously, ther... | 6 | 31.166667 | |
1410472700 | 1410558138 | t3_2g57s8 | t5_2to41 | 1,289 | MantisTobogganMDPhD: TIFU by accidentally abducting a group of children.
So I'm a high school student, and every now and again the school will randomly select kids to go down to the primary school to be "coaches" for their "sports day" teams. (This is not optional, and is basically just a "we don't have to work very mu... | 11 | 117.181818 | |
1410476200 | 1410523304 | t3_2g5dph | t5_2to41 | 18 | lobzo: TIFU pissing next to the CFO
So I walk into the bathroom at work, and the only available urinal is next to the CFO already peeing. I unzip and begin my stream, but as we do our business, the bathroom slowly empties and it’s just us two. Per usual, I need to fart. Badly. I had a breakfast burrito first thing in t... | 3 | 6 | |
1410476741 | 1410477807 | t3_2g5en6 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by not thinking before I spoke
I'll keep this simple. I was in my class today and I was just having random thoughts when I remembered it was 9/11. I got up really fast and screamed "Happy 9/11 everyone!" with a huge smile on my face. To make matters worse I go to school in NYC and it turns out two peopl... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1410477412 | 1410548232 | t3_2g5fow | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by plagiarising at collage
Those typical weekend days before a major assignment is due. Saturday involves nothing but playing computer games and drinking. Sunday involves cramming what should have been 40 hours of work into an easy 50%er.
But this was different, as i have been riding the joyful demon... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1410475767 | 1410573161 | t3_2g5d02 | t5_2to41 | 51 | pictures_are_forever: TIFU by saving a picture from Facebook (NSFW)
This TIFU happened a few days ago, I was too embarrassed to submit it until now! Throwaway because I don't need this shit on my main account.
This whole thing started earlier this summer. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, so occa... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1410474446 | 1410490123 | t3_2g5auf | t5_2to41 | 329 | dr_smackdathoe: TIFU by telling my little brother to puke in the toilet.
My little brother (5 years old) had been feeling a little ill lately and had been having diarrhea. I heard him get up and run to the bathroom to take a shit and about a minute later he yells "Mom I think I'm gonna throw up", so I yell back "Puke i... | 3 | 109.666667 | |
1410478741 | 1410482056 | t3_2g5huq | t5_2to41 | 4 | BambooGamer: TIFU, by singing with headphones in my car.
2pacs: THat's illegal but funny as fuck
MurphsLaw83: I did not know that. I wear them all the time when I'm driving.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410475584 | 1410827865 | t3_2g5cp4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | pryrohead564: TIFU by getting drunk with my cousin.
Story goes one night at the cabin my cousin and I have been drinking. Heavily. I'm fucking smashed to all shit. The next morning I wake up in the grass outside and my face is in extreme pain so I look into the black screen on my phone and I have a fat lip, black eye, ... | 3 | 1 | |
1410479459 | 1410490593 | t3_2g5ixy | t5_2to41 | 6 | NeegeTheFeege: TIFU, by asking for my sisters netbook. (NSFW)
Tresdragones: Just big dicks and bondage? Sounds like healthy and sane sexual interests to me. Be glad it wasn't something truly traumatizing. :)
NeegeTheFeege: I know it's sane.. It's just that I know what type of porn my sister likes
| 3 | 2 | |
1410480440 | 1410498354 | t3_2g5ki5 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by saving pictures of my girlfriend on my computer.
Today, I fucked up. I am in a long term relationship with my girlfriend and over that time, she's sent me numerous "sexy" pictures and videos. Me being a dumb guy, saved them all. She knows. She's fine with it, doesn't care.
So fast forward to today. ... | 4 | 3 | |
1410480517 | 1410487107 | t3_2g5km7 | t5_2to41 | 23 | MuskOnTOR: TIFU By Letting My Uncle In My House
Background info; My uncle is homeless, & addicted to meth
I was left alone today at my house incase my package was to arrive early (a laptop.) So I was just chillin, waiting. Then I gotta phone call. I've been told time after time not to answer the phone, incase it ... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1410480113 | 1410482713 | t3_2g5jxg | t5_2to41 | 5 | rdrptr: TIFU by asking a coworker if another coworker was gay. Advice and critique appreciated
Or, more accurately, yesterday I (straight 23M) fked up by asking a coworker (straight ~22F) if another coworker of ours (whom she was friends with) was gay. There were some obvious signs, he likes girl-ier music, kinda strut... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410482294 | 1410485117 | t3_2g5ng4 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by pulling out my tampon too fast
I was on my first date with a guy out to dinner and toward the end, I went off to the toilet to tend to my vaginal vampire paradise.
The problem is, doing this procedure quickly while in a public bathroom is nigh-on impossible. You have to try to remove the tampon, dis... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410482922 | 1410538469 | t3_2g5og5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Hosef91: TIFU by putting nail polish remover on a cut
But when I say cut, I'm not talking about a papercut. I put nail polish remover on the iPhone sized scrape I got on my leg because I like to slide between bases playing company kickball with non-clear footwear.
DeathAndRebirth: Why or how did you do this haha
Hosef... | 5 | 1 | |
1410482574 | 1410483587 | t3_2g5nwf | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by feeling too great
So there are two things you should know about me:
1 - I have full beard, because I look 12 without it.
2 - After over a year of being lazy and completely sedentary, I recently started hitting the gym again. So here we go:
Today I was having a particularly good day because I've g... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410473989 | 1410484894 | t3_2g5a1n | t5_2to41 | 10 | bluesheep123: TIFU by accidentally hitting an old lady with an umbrella
Yes, this TIFU actually happened today.
Today, I was on the bus with my blue umbrella in hand because I thought it was going to rain, but it didn't. I was standing in the front part of the bus because it is always super-crowded, which is normal we... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1410478224 | 1410530181 | t3_2g5h1n | t5_2to41 | 13 | sailslayer: TIFU trying to be fancy
I just got some super fancy raspberry gelato ice cream, and I decided to take my enjoyment to a whole new level. I put the bowl and spoon in the freezer, to make the ultimate chilled experience. When I opened the door and took the bowl out, somehow it froze to the icepack I put it o... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1410484544 | 1410485768 | t3_2g5r1z | t5_2to41 | 4 | onceuponathrow: TIFU by convincing my entire school that I am a cross dresser
_Azweape_: Looking back, I think about 0.0001% of things that happened in junior high had any impact on the rest of my life. Maybe some indirect stuff, but nothing I can write home about. It was a sexless, still playing with toys because I w... | 4 | 1 | |
1410475972 | 1410518748 | t3_2g5dcj | t5_2to41 | 65 | jerechox: TIFU by getting a kid made fun of for being fat.
This happened my final year of high school and I had always been known as the kid who never stops fiddling with things. So, my US History class had always been really boring. Like, excruciatingly boring. As a result, I came to the habit of messing with the scre... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1410484627 | 1410487117 | t3_2g5r6m | t5_2to41 | 8 | RyanSaysThings: TIFU by Trying to Be Courteous to a Delivery Person
Earlier this evening, I ordered a pizza for dinner. It was a long day, the sun was setting by the time I got home, and I just didn't feel like making anything. Pizza Hut, save me!
Normally, even if it's not quite night, I turn on my porch light when I... | 4 | 2 | |
1410489808 | 1410490460 | t3_2g5utp | t5_2to41 | 5 | Mikey_Bagadonuts: Did you just come from YouTube?
murph_diver: haha nah, just bugged me that someone would make a ridiculous story and try to get points out of it because it's 9/11... maybe i'm wrong and his story is true... i higggggghly fucking doubt it though.
Uzaka: Pics don't lie. Pics = It happened in these part... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1410480537 | 1410491577 | t3_2g5knf | t5_2to41 | 41 | Weasel_Man: TIFU by asking a woman when her baby was due
So, right off the bat, you're thinking I'm an idiot for asking a woman when her baby was due. You *never do that,* I know, but I had not slept well the past couple of nights and I suppose my brain was not working at full capacity.
So I was on an elevator with tw... | 3 | 13.666667 |
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