start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1410487396 | 1410545589 | t3_2g5vky | t5_2to41 | 5 | oblom07: TIFU by being honest at work.
The story begins about a week back. I work at this Chinese fast food place. It's kind of like a buffet, but instead of customers grabbing their food themselves, it sits behind a glass case where they point to the food, and we put it on a plate for them.
Anyways, it was a pret... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1410489110 | 1410491127 | t3_2g5y7r | t5_2to41 | 3 | randomnessiswow: TIFU By mistaking a friend's trip home for fun
So this is my first epic fuck up. God save us.
So I have a friend who's going to college about 12 hours away in North Dakota, but we keep in touch via text. Recently, we've stopped texting and I was worried I had screwed up.
So when she texts me today an... | 3 | 1 | |
1410487786 | 1410661416 | t3_2g5w6p | t5_2to41 | 5 | angerilla: TIFU by making small talk with a stranger
So this took place last year. I was in the clothing section at one of those megastores, and this girl kept occasionally making eye contact with me. It became clear that she had some kind of mental disability, but I wasn't really thinking about it or paying much atten... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410487714 | 1410500193 | t3_2g5w2v | t5_2to41 | 14 | bkpriest: TIFU by making breakfast burritos. (NSFW)
My girlfriend and I decided it would be very convenient to make breakfast burritos in advance to avoid making breakfast every day (dat meal prep doe). I thought some jalapenos would be just the thing to spice up these otherwise bland burritos. I must have chopped abou... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1410489486 | 1410508816 | t3_2g5ytb | t5_2to41 | 23 | SpilledMySecret: TIFU by accidentally spilling my cum jug onto the carpet when I tried to move it.
For the past 2 years or so I have ejaculated into a plastic 2 quart jug almost every time I have masturbated. It's one of those jugs designed for iced tea or whatever.
I live in an apartment with 3 other roommates. In a... | 12 | 1.916667 | |
1410489677 | 1410491133 | t3_2g5z3s | t5_2to41 | 7 | InfdevMinecrafter: TIFU by being a spoiled little fucking idiot 3rd grader and remembering
I'm 15, let's rewind all the way back to 3rd grade... or 4th or something i dunno
____ ___ ___ _____
|___ \ / _ \ / _ \___ |
__) | | | | | | | / /
/ __/| |_| | |_| |/ /
|_____|\___... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1410490105 | 1410655507 | t3_2g5zs7 | t5_2to41 | 6 | scarlcarl: TIFU by not being Fran.
****sees random local number calling****
****picks up call****
****10 sec of dead silence; me waiting for them to say something****
> **Me**: "H... Hello?"
>
> **Them** *(in a stuffy nosed voice with a massive lisp that could sound like a guy or a girl)* : "I'm calling... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1410543195 | 1410570654 | t3_2g6072 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: I would argue that dousing your rotten junk in isopropyl alcohol is much more commando (think along the lines of setting your own compound fracture).
refuse_human: But setting your own compound fracture would actually help you - the rubbing alcohol dried out my skin...
... which somehow enabled the ringworm... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410490440 | 1410493537 | t3_2g60c1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing laundry.
My wife and I rounded up all the clothes for laundry and had quite a huge basket of dirty clothes. We're lazy as fuck so we tossed everything in the washer, as it is one of the newer model washers that can handle a load like a street corner hooker.
She pushes the start button and we... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410490231 | 1410527068 | t3_2g5zzv | t5_2to41 | 177 | sbrelvi: TIFU by taking a nap
I had just come home from school and I wanted to to take a nap. So I did and woke up 4 hours later. I had left my contacts in leaving my eyes extremely dry. I went to go grab my eyedrops to put them in my eyes. Except, it wasn't eyedrops. It was a small bottle of hand sanitizer. I immediat... | 7 | 25.285714 | |
1410491625 | 1410493556 | t3_2g622f | t5_2to41 | 6 | renegadeforks_: TIFU by smoking on my balcony.
Occasionally I enjoy myself a black and mild. Super tasty. Really bad for me guilty pleasure.
Well I'm out smoking and I notice a weird smell I can't really place. I don't think anything of it and about 10 or so minutes later I flick the cherry off into the rocks below m... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1410494467 | 1410496090 | t3_2g6633 | t5_2to41 | 3 | OhWell0: TIFU by talking to the shy girl in my class
TheGwolo: this guy is a fuck up.
mobius_striping_inc: And he should fuck off.
| 3 | 1 | |
1410494646 | 1412461282 | t3_2g66ct | t5_2to41 | 29 | drifter15: TIFU by making a bet (Pt. 2)
I argued against this, but after seeing the pics from the mall incident, I crumbled like a cookie. Here is part 2 of the original and following the old rules: MINIMAL PICS, NO EATING OF ANYTHING DEEMED DISGUSTING OR POTENTIALLY HARMFUL (ALL DECISIONS ON WHETHER OR NOT THE TO BE E... | 29 | 1 | |
1410495706 | 1410497920 | t3_2g67qv | t5_2to41 | 17 | jsnoogs: TIFU by pulling over for a cigarette
This happened a few years ago.
I had just dropped off some friends after hanging out at another friend's house. It was around 2am and I decided I wanted to smoke a cigarette before I went home. I was in my mom's car, you see, and couldn't simply smoke it on the drive home.... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1410495773 | 1410499228 | t3_2g67u0 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU By accepting free coffee at
I work security at a collage and have always been nice and courteous to the staff and students. Occasionally the staff that I am friendly with are really sweet and drop off things like coffee and treats on stressful days.
Today one of the staff members came by my kiosk with ... | 5 | 2 | |
1410497524 | 1410535621 | t3_2g6a1o | t5_2to41 | 6 | Ilikedogs29: TIFU by almost shooting my dog
My boyfriend is out of town and I am uncomfortable being alone in our house so I have a 9mm. I leave the 9mm unloaded but in case of emergency I have the bullets right next too it. Well I'm sitting here watching tv in our bedroom with the door closed and all of a sudden I he... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1410489999 | 1410583673 | t3_2g5zmb | t5_2to41 | 8 | TheFightGoes0n: TIFU by playing a YouTube video to connect w/my wife instead of just the song.
Okay, so, here it goes. My wife and I are crazy busy. I travel for a living while she works locally and runs the house. We don't see each other as often as we'd like and I found myself profoundly missing her.
So, I was... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410493245 | 1410554171 | t3_2g64d1 | t5_2to41 | 62 | CoorsIsColdest: TIFU by nearly getting my dad arrested for child pornography
This happened in mid 90's lets say 1995 approx. I was 11 i think pretty smart with tech but not very street smart. My
Parents had AOL and i was using it for internet and the chat rooms. Being 11
i figured out that there were hidden chat rooms ... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1410498620 | 1410548674 | t3_2g6bea | t5_2to41 | 9 | yoloswek: TIFU by cooking for a girl and using expired cheese
It didn't happen today but a few weeks ago. And I know people don't like the sex stuff on here, but I think this is a pretty bad fackup.
Okay. I met this girl 3 years ago. And I fell in love, she was with a guy and she just was out of my league. The guy was... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1410500019 | 1410501296 | t3_2g6d0e | t5_2to41 | 6 | fuzzyfuckinwuzzies: TIFU by staying after class to ask my professor a question.
nazgarn: I don't understand what happened but it sounds embarrassing.
fuzzyfuckinwuzzies: I asked a question to my professor after class, and instead was grilled about my attendance in front of my classmates. Teacher then threatened to d... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1410500670 | 1410501832 | t3_2g6dr6 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my co-worker I'm gay.
So this just happened a couple hours ago.
I'm male. 22 years old. Straight.
Tonight I went out with a couple co-workers (guys and girls) out to a bar. So we're shooting the shit, talking about life, work, and whatever, when another co-worker, a late comer, shows up. He... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410507240 | 1410761020 | t3_2g6bsy | t5_2to41 | -5 | upads: Tell that to China, they are still butthurt about WW2.
Mufmuf: literally millions of people died and they had to change their capital. you lost 2 towers, its sad but not as. don't compare.
CelestialWalrus: Well, we lost two towers because of our sick government. Fuck Patriot Act.
NuclearStudent: The Patriot Act ... | 4 | -1.25 | |
1410502271 | 1410721705 | t3_2g6fip | t5_2to41 | 23 | TGinge: TIFU by eating the "Special Death Burger" for breakfast
So on the way to work this morning, I decided to treat myself to a burger at this great place along the way (burger joints are really rare where I live). I've eaten their Death Burger before (pretty spicy) but never sampled the Special Death Burger (somew... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1410503503 | 1410928236 | t3_2g6gtc | t5_2to41 | 24 | Throwpoopie: TIFU by taking my prescribed medication
This happened about a month ago...
I am a contractor, and recently agreed to a 4-month contract with my company. They were trying to get me onsite more than I wanted to be, so offered me a bonus. I compromised by coming in, but wanted to play a bit of hardball with... | 4 | 6 | |
1410506760 | 1410529443 | t3_2g6k56 | t5_2to41 | 6 | sun-thurs-stupidboy: TIFU by telling my best friend that I played her
Let me start of by telling you that I am a dumbass. Like stupider than stupid. Anyways enough about me....
Here is some background:
So I had this best friend lets call her Clementine. Clementine and I were the best of friends and we were so so clos... | 3 | 2 | |
1410498372 | 1410529796 | t3_2g6b43 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by mispronouncing someone's name.
So the pendejo post reminded me of a fuck up of mine (and three others) from a couple years ago.
So a few years ago, I spent five months working with a random (and, quite frankly, completely ineffective) NGO in Port-au-Prince. I managed to pick up Haitian Creole prett... | 3 | 4 | |
1410508393 | 1410673463 | t3_2g6lsl | t5_2to41 | 137 | ProfessionalLurk3r: TIFU by dying my eyebrows b/c I am allergic to dye
I had my eyebrows tinted (because I'm vain af) and had an allergic reaction to PPD which is found in most hair dye. I am fully aware of the allergy but for some reason I thought eyebrow dye would be different because, you know, eyebrows are made out... | 7 | 19.571429 | |
1410508880 | 1410518878 | t3_2g6m8t | t5_2to41 | 11 | GregariousOrigamist: TIFU trying to get hired at FootLocker.
This happened to me in High School actually. I was just handed in my application and chatted up the manager all friendly like. We were at the counter when a customer was ready to purchase some white sneakers. Now if anyone works in retail , you know its all a... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1410510269 | 1410916423 | t3_2g6nj1 | t5_2to41 | 4,531 | [deleted]: TIFU by cleaning my stepmoms car
So I thought I'd be nice and clean my step moms car today. We don't really get along and I thought it would be a nice gesture. So I get the keys and head to the car wash. Her little dog decided he wanted to come so I let him. Well I had the windows down on the way jamming ou... | 15 | 302.066667 | |
1410508261 | 1410632466 | t3_2g6loh | t5_2to41 | 556 | MikeATC: TIFU by dropping a lightbulb in an elevator while leaving the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder treatment unit at a Veterans Hospital where I work.
I work at Veterans hospital and had been sent to a section of the hospital that treats Veterans suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to check on a nig... | 13 | 42.769231 | |
1410510035 | 1410529814 | t3_2g6naq | t5_2to41 | 11 | jakartatomslk: TIFU by lighting a shot of 151 Rum on fire and thinking I would drink it.
So I light the shot on fire, it is glowing a nice green and blue color. I blow it out (or so I thought) and then quickly bring it up to my mouth and shoot it. During this process that took about 1 second1, as it is going from the s... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1410503710 | 1410592867 | t3_2g6h15 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by stretching my ears
Recently I stretched my ears so that my double flare gauges would fit. Well, they fit and all, but one problem, I can't get them out. I forgot to think ahead. So, now I'm not sure what to do. Do I cut them off somehow?
kittykarnage420: Go to your local piercing place, they can take... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1410518061 | 1410532146 | t3_2g6uaq | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by pretending my lubricant was shingles medication and rubbing it on myself in front of my mum.
So... My mum came over to help me do the washing and clean my room because I'm super busy/stressed. During the clean up I noticed my vibrator next to my bed. My mum was coming around the take the sheets off a... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1410517825 | 1411568662 | t3_2g6u3k | t5_2to41 | 160 | cman8396: TIFU by showing my dad my girlfriend's boobs
Okay so this happened about 5 minutes ago. Also I'm a 19 yo male, my gf is 18. Can't get picture its all gone.
This all starts an hour ago, my dad was taking my old iMac to be old to a friend. I thought it would be best to remove all my personal effects from it be... | 5 | 32 | |
1410517100 | 1410527410 | t3_2g6th8 | t5_2to41 | 9 | mystical_empath: Tifu by not paying attention at work
I work night shift at a factory that provides the padding for the box-spring bed you sleep on. On our final startup i placed my hand on the needle loom apron (think strips of bamboo riveted to belts of leather type conveyor belt) my thumb wandered underneith it and ... | 3 | 3 | |
1410516822 | 1410593601 | t3_2g6t7v | t5_2to41 | 157 | Jokesonyounow: Tifu by using wrong word in a delicate matter.
So my lady friend was confiding in me by telling something she hadn't told the girls. She told me she was walking home and was raped. I didn't really know how to react but naturally wanted to show concern so I asked her if they had caught the penetrator inst... | 5 | 31.4 | |
1410521979 | 1410527906 | t3_2g6xzl | t5_2to41 | 5 | gingerbitchwithSOUL: TIFU by exposing my boyfriend to tifu.
azraels_ghost: You've never been titty-fucked?
gingerbitchwithSOUL: Unfortunately I'm part of the itty bitty titty committee.
tfyuhjnbgf: I guess let him just kinda drag it across them?
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1410520172 | 1410530561 | t3_2g6w57 | t5_2to41 | 11 | il_vincitore: TIFU by having multiple jobs.
Tody I literally just now fucked up by having multiple jobs. I have 4 separate schedules I must track while in graduate school, and unfortunately, my coworker at my retail hell job was arrested so everyone else picks up the slack. This means that my normal schedule of 35-40 h... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1410525086 | 1410540146 | t3_2g71h7 | t5_2to41 | 702 | Lazy_Physics_Student: TIFU by angering the robot in my physics laboratory
I was in a Physics laboratory doing an experiment that was measuring gamma ray energies from a series of radioactive sources.
The lab was setup so that I was remote controlling the actual radioactive samples and equipment from the other side of... | 11 | 63.818182 | |
1410488562 | 1410528946 | t3_2g5xfc | t5_2to41 | 4 | bbird0407: TIFU by being too paranoid
TIFU... Like many others, this story happened a while ago. I'm a little long winded but stick with it!
A little back story is in order first. It was in the summer nine years ago and I was separating from my first marriage that was a train wreck. I did get a great daughter from it ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410527476 | 1410671840 | t3_2g74i2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by pissing the couch in a girls' appartment
So it's my third week of law school, and we had a pretty wild night last night. This group of girls has been really nice to me, and drove me to their place and let me crash on their faux-suede couch. Of course I wake up mid-stream and my immediate thought is "... | 3 | 3 | |
1410518994 | 1410559293 | t3_2g6v2y | t5_2to41 | 16 | stapleherdick: TIFU by peeing all over the bathroom floor in a fancy restaurant
My brother is a foodie. He loves going to expensive and tasty spots in our city and he wanted to introduce my best friend to one of his favorite places.
I had been there with him previously and I wanted to slide their butternut ravioli int... | 4 | 4 | |
1410526618 | 1410537788 | t3_2g73cj | t5_2to41 | 83 | g0kh4n: TIFU by being a foreigner
This happened a few years ago during my first week as a high school exchange student in the US. During class I needed an eraser so I turned to the person closest to me who happened to be this cute girl and simply asked for a "rubber". She along with a few others who heard what I asked ... | 5 | 16.6 | |
1410529666 | 1410544350 | t3_2g77jg | t5_2to41 | 81 | liontamarin: TIFU by falling asleep to Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Generally, I enjoy falling asleep to movies. They influence my dreams in strange and fun ways and the sound helps me get to sleep if I'm having issues.
Last night, I decided to watch the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers while I ... | 4 | 20.25 | |
1410529150 | 1410571016 | t3_2g76ud | t5_2to41 | 30 | Jo3106: TIFU by bursting my blood vessels all over my keyboard.
This happened today at 12:34pm and the bleeding stopped at 13:07pm so i lost a good amount of blood.
Picture the scene, it's my day off so i decided it would be a good idea to wander around my house in nothing but my boxers. If you haven't tried it, do ... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1410530158 | 1410578589 | t3_2g78cm | t5_2to41 | 539 | FrizzleMehGibblets: TIFU: Got shot in the dick with an old rusty BB gun by my Wife
TL;DR: Wife shot me directly in the dick-head using rusty BB gun.
Just like in ‘A Christmas Story’ when playing with a BB gun, “You’ll shoot your eye out” is a real fear but deciding to ignore that I might shoot my eye out would have sa... | 7 | 77 | |
1410531083 | 1410534902 | t3_2g79sn | t5_2to41 | 3 | imathrothisaway: Tifu by making a bad 9/11 joke
rneb_3d: 12 years ago 9/11 was already a dangerous day to joke about, let alone now, over a decade later, with people affected by that scattered all over the world. Bad idea, OP, bad idea.
E-Nezzer: I don't know why people are so touchy about 9/11 jokes. Everybody laugh... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1410531212 | 1410535236 | t3_2g79zo | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU By letting my Girlfriend ride my very expensive bike down a very steep hill.
High Schoolers...
Meet up...
Hang out... alot
Things progress...
She meets me out in San Mateo to ride a mountian trail...
She see's a big hill... (over 45 degrees for a good quarter mile with sand)
Borrows my bike... (size me... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1410529528 | 1410552892 | t3_2g77cv | t5_2to41 | 98 | ShameAndTP: TIFU by wiping with cheap TP (NSFW-ish?)
Obviously using a throwaway, and hoping desperately that this happened long enough ago that my boyfriend (who's a Redditor) won't see and/or remember this.
I was at the mall with friends and we decided to pop into the restroom. I quickly went #1 and wiped. As many ... | 7 | 14 | |
1410530042 | 1410564143 | t3_2g786e | t5_2to41 | 52 | Dapper_John: TIFU by smoking at military school
Like most of these, this wasn't today.
BUT it's not sex related.
So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
 
Not a throwaway, because fuck it.
 
 
I was in a military school when I was high school and I had a friend that wou... | 7 | 7.428571 | |
1410533689 | 1410645994 | t3_2g7dyx | t5_2to41 | 1,262 | ccolezero: TIFU by being too honest with a pregnant woman
TIFU. My roommate's older brother and recently-pregnant-with-first-child wife live close by and regularly have us over for dinner, drinks, to play board games, whatever. We went over last night to watch the football game and hangout. I got to talking to the wife... | 12 | 105.166667 | |
1410533966 | 1410542497 | t3_2g7efu | t5_2to41 | 8 | PeacockDoom: TIFU by providing a customer advice on the clothes he was trying on
So this didn't actually happen today, but is one of my favorite innocent fuck-ups.
I used to work at a large mall department store, in the men's clothing department. My role consisted mostly of folding clothes, trying to sell credit card... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1410533749 | 1410535863 | t3_2g7e2f | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU-Dicks.com is not the same as dickssportinggoods.com - HARD LESSON
xbricks: You must not be a very seasoned internet user.
[deleted]: Actually quite the contrary. It was like when you lock the keys in your car and you realize your doing it as you shut the door and your like OH FUCK NOOOOO!!!! I can't ... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410531869 | 1410535049 | t3_2g7b03 | t5_2to41 | 4 | keyblader2221: TIFU by not waking up to my alarm
This happened this morning, so it is truly a TIFU post.
I decided I wanted to take a shower this morning instead of the night before, so I set my alarm to 5:30 instead of 6:00. I wake up at 6:26 and instantly jump out of bed. I throw on my clothes, etc, while my phone i... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1410535104 | 1410545249 | t3_2g7gcz | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting a guy who seemed just a bit too excited.
So last weekend I went up to a university to party with some of my friends. Backstory, I am a senior in undergrad applying to grad school right now. So I go meet up with some friends, and get a little buzzed at this party. I meet a guy from out of stat... | 3 | 1 | |
1410535103 | 1410543181 | t3_2g7gcs | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my security badge at work
I exit my car, grab my bag, my coffee, and attach my security badge to my belt loop. Normally I use the 2nd belt loop to the right of the fly, but today, with my hands full of coffee, keys, phone, the easiest loop to reach was the 1st belt loop to the right of the but... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1410535566 | 1410537658 | t3_2g7h6f | t5_2to41 | 7 | ThatDumbChick420: Tifu by walking in on my best friends dad in the shower.
Like most "TIFU" this happened a couple of nights ago. And is still terribly embarrassing.
I was at my best friends house when we decided to play some beer pong. Several rounds in, I'm already tipsy, and I have to pee so bad I can't stand it.
... | 7 | 1 | |
1410535697 | 1410569101 | t3_2g7heo | t5_2to41 | 8 | Elbareth: TIFU by telling my mother I "love" her
I'm 22 now and since I was about 16 I've been "in love" with my mother, but not in the normal mother-son kind of way. I know per the rules, this sort of thing isn't allowed, but it's not necessarily anything obscene, so I'll attempt at it anyway (apologies if I'm still i... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1410536341 | 1410538227 | t3_2g7ijs | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU- These 8 things all happened on 9-11-14 1) underpaid my credit card by 11 bucks, misses deadline 2) step-sister-in-law dies, no one tells me, I miss the funeral, 3) washing clothes also washed iPod….
ImTheReal_TuongLuKim: was your step,sister hot?
schwacr01: She was totally hot, my step brother left an... | 6 | 1 | |
1410536458 | 1410570903 | t3_2g7irx | t5_2to41 | 509 | kaenneth: TIFU by telling my boyfriend what I would do with his dead body.
My boyfriends 30 year old cousin died last week, and he asked me what I would do if he died. I looked into his eyes and told him I would have molds taken of his body, and have a Real Doll made of him to cuddle with, and keep his ashes inside.
N... | 9 | 56.555556 | |
1410536237 | 1410642971 | t3_2g7ied | t5_2to41 | 274 | Tunadude: TIFU by using the Navy Seal copypasta.
So like many colleges these days, mine has a confession page on facebook. Someone made a post regarding the military, I don't remember the specifics. Some guy commented that the poster must be national guard and marines are better or some bullshit. So I replied with the ... | 9 | 30.444444 | |
1410535355 | 1410537812 | t3_2g7gty | t5_2to41 | 7 | DarkLordShrek: TIFU by helping my sister overcome her fear of the ocean.
This happened around July. My sister had her freshman orientation for college, and her college is located not even 30 minutes away from Virginia Beach. Due to the short distance to the beach, our family decided to go there to get some fresh air. M... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1410539084 | 1410546950 | t3_2g7nct | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by initiating morning sex with my girlfriend
xxStitchxx: This is whats wrong with TIFU. GTFO.
PM_ME_YOUR_NITS: Not all thats wrong with it... sorry to degrade your experiential fiction.
| 3 | 1 | |
1410540202 | 1410540712 | t3_2g7pdn | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by melting a patients cornea.
Had a patient come in today, picking up his rigid gas permeable contact lenses. (Hard contacts.) Before we place these in a patients eye, we condition them using a special conditioner which gets rid of calcium deposits, dirt, etc. However this conditioner is not like your n... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1410540966 | 1410553697 | t3_2g7q2z | t5_2to41 | 7 | KesselsWife: I always drank from the hose as a kid because I didn't want to go inside and risk chores. I prefer to imagine that it built my immune system.
cincE3030: Just like not washing your hands after using the bathroom!
me_team: Or avoiding the use of toilet paper when you wipe!
cincE3030: whoa whoa whoa, that's ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1410536789 | 1410554168 | t3_2g7jbg | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing my neighbors my erect penis
So today, Friday (Turneth up), I didn't have school (Due to reasons). I'm a sophomore and almost every sophomore despises school with a burning passion deep in the bowels of the soul, except for those overly enthusiastic kids that are successful in life and blah bl... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1410541673 | 1410544353 | t3_2g7s19 | t5_2to41 | 53 | lowestpointinlife: TIFU by having my friend hospitalized and getting suspended from my Uni
When I went back to Uni a few weeks ago after summer break, my friends and I decided to take some acid to start the year off. We all got our money together, the 6 of us, and bought 2 or 3 tabs each from a friend's connect. We dec... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1410540367 | 1410574391 | t3_2g7pnu | t5_2to41 | 14 | kjewell27: TIFU by tearing my mcl.
Back story. June 24th I had complete tissue reconstruction of my left knee. They also added two donor tendons and moved the patelaformal ligament to the inner side of my tibula. Anyways on Tuesday, at work. (FedEx ground) I was hit at an odd angle, causing the repaired knee to disloca... | 9 | 1.555556 | |
1410542326 | 1410553383 | t3_2g7t7y | t5_2to41 | 14 | TIFUThrowaway420: TIFU by giving a girl weed
So as many other stories, this did not happen today, it happened when I was 15 so about 6 years ago now.
I lived in a fairly small suburban town, not super big, but growing rapidly. I was in my sophomore year of high school and I had stayed home this particular day from sch... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1410544382 | 1410561714 | t3_2g7ww5 | t5_2to41 | 12,071 | Goingtocollege1: TIFU by riding around in a wheelchair I found.
Today, I was riding around in a wheelchair that happened to be at my fraternity house and rolled into the parking lot as another kid in a wheel chair rolled by. He stopped and talked with me a little bit, legitimately great guy and invited me to some sort ... | 16 | 754.4375 | |
1410545552 | 1410846953 | t3_2g7z4c | t5_2to41 | 12 | Thedirtygongon: TIFU by cutting jalapenos
To start, I love Sriracha. I have been on a new diet (paleo) and can't have the great red stuff from the cock bottle because of the sugar and preservatives. So I found a recipe to make some myself, it's pretty simple and says it only takes about an hour. Ran to the store, picke... | 8 | 1.5 | |
1410546383 | 1410548228 | t3_2g80mw | t5_2to41 | 5 | thebrandster1985: TIFU by accidentally saying pussy to my female boss
I was tired, hungover, and at work; 3 of the worst combos for a happy clear minded person.
One thing to know about my boss, is she has a pretty good sense of humor, and is a fan of potty humor.
I had just arrived at work, and went into my bosses of... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1410546317 | 1410595758 | t3_2g80id | t5_2to41 | 1,916 | Kvothe_the_kingkilla: TIFU by trying to silently fart.
I usually start every morning out with a magnesium supplement to calm my nerves. I don't eat breakfast and this usually suffices. While sitting at my desk, enjoying the fact that it is Friday and my day is pretty much work free, thus allowing me time to browse redd... | 9 | 212.888889 | |
1410546602 | 1410570221 | t3_2g810n | t5_2to41 | 17 | iny0urend0: TIFU by shattering my sister's expensive rear window with my PS3
This actually happened 2 summers ago.
A bit of background info first. My sister and BIL had been married for 4 years when they hit a real rocky road, with him almost leaving her for a much younger woman. She did everything in her power to ke... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1410547766 | 1410584881 | t3_2g836k | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a tab for the first time
This didnt happen today, but I remember someone posting about ingesting 4 tabs of acid because he was pulled over. It was the end of my finals and what better way to celebrate by taking acid for the first time. My hookup told me the tab was only about twice the normal ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1410547810 | 1410575922 | t3_2g839p | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU BY speeding too slow
OK so this actually happened yesterday but close enough ;)
back story: so like every weekday I'm driving my normal commute to work Speed limit on the freeway is 65, so i usually travel about 68-69 since cops don't pull you over for going a few MPH over. its a 2/3 lane highway so i ... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1410549143 | 1410549952 | t3_2g85nu | t5_2to41 | 5 | Puffman1: TIFU
TLDR called in sick forgot doctors note. Now I can't work but I'm not fired.
Well today I found out that I am still a employee at my job. I just can't work there. So last Sunday I was sick and puking constantly and called out for work that day. I wasn't really paying attention to the phone call and the... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410549927 | 1410605535 | t3_2g874s | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by not taking the hint
So as far as fuck ups go this isn't too bad but it still haunts me. It was my senior year of high school, Christmas eve, and I'd been seeing this girl for a few months at this point. Now, she was the single most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on and I had no idea why the he... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1410550839 | 1410552101 | t3_2g88nv | t5_2to41 | 22 | chinahatesme: TIFU by greeting a hotel guest
I work front desk for a hotel in a mountain/ski resort area and it's now our "shoulder season," which means it's a ghost town until the first snow. This allows for plenty downtime such as reading, watching Youtube, trolling on Reddit, binging on Netflix, and smoking the occa... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1410552165 | 1410553174 | t3_2g8b0f | t5_2to41 | 1 | Ted_Schmosbyy: TIFU by spelling "four"as "for" in an email to multiple bosses
APGDT6: *I'm an idiot
SweetSweetInternet: That was the joke
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1410552625 | 1410560485 | t3_2g8btt | t5_2to41 | 5 | truth__bomb: TIFU by shitting on an opportunity that could have launched my dream career.
So roughly 6 months ago, I was sitting at my unpaid internship, waiting to hear back about a potential job interview at another company. My phone goes off in my pocket. I stand up, let my boss know I'm stepping out for lunch, and ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410552892 | 1410792268 | t3_2g8c9m | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking up all my ex's who have gotten married.
I don't know why, but I'm that girl that is the last one people date before they get married..to someone else. Pretty awesome. So I am home sick today and bored and decided that it was a good idea to take a trip down memory lane and see how happy my ex'... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1410550151 | 1410584687 | t3_2g87hm | t5_2to41 | 76 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally desecrating the Quran in front of my Muslim classmate
Well, like most TIFUs, this occured a few years ago.
It was my freshman year of high school and I was placed into honors English class. Unlike the normal level English classes, we had an excessive amount of homework, quizes, etc. rel... | 5 | 15.2 | |
1410500287 | 1410553626 | t3_2g6dce | t5_2to41 | 3 | Sibire: TIFU By applying superfluous first aid to a rather gentle region.
Too Long; Won't Read: I rubbed paint and salt into a wound on my ballsack. Burning ensued, bleeding subsided.
Got your attention now? Good.
Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, for a tale of why you shouldn't use shitty razors for your personal... | 3 | 1 | |
1410552490 | 1410554966 | t3_2g8blc | t5_2to41 | 8 | Stryker94: TIFU by spitting.
Today, I was going for a quick 20 minute run before my workout. As I was running I had the urge to spit come up. Now when your mouth is dry and you need to spit, your spit becomes sticky and hard to get out easily. So I knew I had to lean over to spit out to avoid getting it onto myself. I ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1410553470 | 1410566420 | t3_2g8db7 | t5_2to41 | 8 | matamoron: TIFU by stealing two traffic cones.
This morning around 1:30-2:00 my roommate and I were walking back from a party and saw two girls carrying traffic cones and thought it would be neat if WE had traffic cones so after convincing them to drop them we took them (I'm a pretty shitty person when I'm drunk) and c... | 4 | 2 | |
1410554925 | 1410634165 | t3_2g8fzr | t5_2to41 | 15 | whatisthepointoflife: TIFU by checking in my printer for a flight [x-post on r/rage]
So this happened a bit over a month ago now, but I think I've finally come to accept it to post it here and take all the ridicule (in addition to those received on /r/rage).
About a week before I had my move from San Jose to Chicago, ... | 5 | 3 | |
1410556013 | 1410556895 | t3_2g8hxl | t5_2to41 | 3 | Omphalophobiac: TIFU by forgetting while showering
kaenneth: I usually flush after, because it messes with the water pressure while the tank refills.
Omphalophobiac: I usually do too, but the one time I forget...
| 3 | 1 | |
1410556056 | 1410562449 | t3_2g8i08 | t5_2to41 | 133 | archostekton: TIFU By turning turning a client's daughter into a hoe...
I work for a building company, and one of the highlights of my day is when I get to leave the office to go on a site visit. Today's should have been easy: Go to this house, measure a window, and specify where the new, matching one should go.
I met... | 4 | 33.25 | |
1410557469 | 1410625211 | t3_2g8kg0 | t5_2to41 | 546 | ecchibb: TIFU by letting my bf give me a facial
This happened this morning. My bf came to see me before I went to class and so I thought I'd give him a little tease before I left. We got riled up and he decides he wants to finger me until I cum. I happily agreed. After my happy time, I pulled down his pants and star... | 6 | 91 | |
1410549174 | 1410641794 | t3_2g85pr | t5_2to41 | 5 | wintermuteTA: TIFU by trying to fix my air conditioner.
My air conditioner stopped working 2 days ago. I checked online to see if I could figure out what was wrong. It seems it is either the capacitor or the fan motor. I'm leaning toward the fan motor because when you give the blades a whirl it doesn't keep spinning... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1410558818 | 1410564259 | t3_2g8mr5 | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by Making a porno at 8.
Alright, so this didnt happen TODAY. But it's still a fuck-up.
When I was 8, I had a girl friend. Not a girlfriend. GIRL that is a FRIEND. She was 9.
So, I had this camera that I was allowed to use. Nothing much. Generic hand-held camera. We would make videos and upload them to ... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1410558469 | 1410571711 | t3_2g8m7p | t5_2to41 | 11 | panicATC: TIFU by not buying sewer line insurance for my home
Our home inspector told us the plumbing was fine when we bought the house a few months ago. Last night we did a large load of laundry, went upstairs to make dinner, and came back to the basement to the smell I can only image is reminiscent of the Swamps of ... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1410559261 | 1410568448 | t3_2g8nhq | t5_2to41 | 20 | Throwawayaccount4267: TIFU by calling a little girl with cancer a skinhead
TIFU By calling a little girl with cancer a skinhead. This happened a few years ago, me and a few of my friends were joking around and just having a good time at our middle school. A bit of backstory, we at the time h... | 5 | 4 | |
1410560743 | 1410562213 | t3_2g8q14 | t5_2to41 | 1 | ProstateDeGorille: TIFU I gave a girl "my number", ended up it was hers...
So I was at a party tonight and I just got home, it was a party in some town and there were plenty of people, I saw a girl looking quite ugly, and she came speaking to me... She asked for my number and I really didn't want to give it to her caus... | 5 | 0.2 | |
1410561294 | 1410587529 | t3_2g8qxs | t5_2to41 | 3 | barefo0t: TIFU by messing up my order in a restaurant
So me and my friend went to San Francisco for a workshop he had there. I just tagged along. After he was done with the workshop, we decided to go to Pier 39 and get some food there. My friend wanted to go to the sea food restaurants but I hate sea food so we decided... | 3 | 1 | |
1410561599 | 1410565535 | t3_2g8rfd | t5_2to41 | 860 | iLuke94: TIFU by spitting into the toilet.
So I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when I got a weird taste in my mouth. I thought "well why not spit here?". I'll tell you why not, because unless you're someone who drinks plenty of water, your spit is naturally stringy/sticky. My spit touches the toilet bowl r... | 6 | 143.333333 | |
1410559031 | 1410719018 | t3_2g8n43 | t5_2to41 | 198 | BerryCran: TIFU by asking a friend for water
Over the weekend I engaged in a heavy night of drinking with friends. I know my limits, started off with beer pong, won a few games which eventually led to celebratory tequila shots. Yeah, yeah "liquor before beer in the clear" and all that crap but still all is well in tumm... | 4 | 49.5 | |
1410560495 | 1410625337 | t3_2g8pmt | t5_2to41 | 93 | mahnumberis17: TIFU by attacking a customer with a rotisserie chicken.
I work at a local groceries store as a bagger and therefore bag plenty of delicious rotisserie chickens. Baggings routine to me now and I hardly ever mess things up. Occasionally an angry old woman will yell at me for packing a bag over 3 pounds but... | 3 | 31 | |
1410562599 | 1410578854 | t3_2g8sxt | t5_2to41 | 8 | starspeckledpig: TIFU by drinking my beer.
My fiance and I are having a nice, relaxing evening. I made homemade pizza for dinner. And what goes well with pizza? Beer! Anyway, so I didn't drink all of my beer with dinner. It's been sitting beside me while I fool around on the computer. After a while I decided to take a ... | 3 | 2.666667 |
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