start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1354159343 | 1354360696 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU: Woke up in the hospital with Alcohol Poisoning.
Today I woke up in the hospital after the worst night of drinking i have ever had. I had a buddy (who also is a coworker) invited my girlfriend and I over to his house to a party with a bunch of friends. I started the night off slow drinking Bacardi oak-... | 10 | 8 | |
1354211455 | 1354212233 | t3_13z9k9 | t5_2to41 | 5 | fenixrising30: There should be a birth control that she can take with her meds. The reason sge is behaving the way she is is brcause of her hormonal ups and downs. Anger sadness joy and mania plateus. The point of her meds is they balance her hormonal levels. Perhaps why she cannot take normal birth control. Let me re... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1354163714 | 1354239174 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | Shane75776: TIFU - Destroyed my roommates Tater-Tot Casserole.. (info inside)
My roommate prepared a Tater-Tot Casserole for us for dinner, our first nice dinner since moving in (we are both out of money and she had a little and bought ingredients for it) she went to a movie with a friend while I stayed at home to take... | 5 | 11 | |
1354191421 | 1354197438 | null | t5_2to41 | 778 | [deleted]: TIFU by helping convince a girl to kill herself.
Well, it was actually a few months ago but this girl tried killing herself last week.
I was on Fb and being the smartass I am, I get into an fb fight. Needless to say I said some things that I've come to regret and today I decided to apologise.
She still hates... | 14 | 55.571429 | |
1354182533 | 1354330179 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | dennischan: TIFU I forgot to throw away the tissue papers before I left my dorm room
Okay. I left the tissue papers on my desk after I had a great time with my left hand. All of my friends that went into my room could easily smell my juice. :/
Reddit. Today I fucked up.
[deleted]: Sort of similar thing happened with ... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1354197289 | 1354739427 | null | t5_2to41 | 233 | StrwbryFlds4ever: TIFU by hitting 'Reply' instead of 'Forward'
I work in a call center. Our main objective: outstanding customer service. I was answering the email of an extremely irate woman (a Communications Director no less) asking that we replace some tickets that had been stolen from her wallet ($30 value, nothing... | 8 | 29.125 | |
1354221354 | 1354234446 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | EU4IAN: TIFU by making that's what she said jokes in class with a buddy.
A buddy and I were making that's what she said jokes in class with a girl we know. She even made a few back. As soon as break hit, he pulls us aside and kicks us out of the class. Threatening expulsion should it happen again. She said that she di... | 5 | 2 | |
1354234830 | 1354236185 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | ZeeEXOhAy: Dropped a baby niece on the head.
JustLetMeComment: Well, the good news is that if she's able to crawl around like that, her skull is much more solid than a newborn's, so hopefully there won't be any lasting effects besides those on your babysitting reputation.
ZeeEXOhAy: That was my greatest concern lifted... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1354238916 | 1354340921 | null | t5_2to41 | 117 | Throwaway2345671: TIFU by calling my girlfriend the "C" word
Well TIFU. In my opinion it wasn't all my fault, but whatever.
My phone died and my mom was trying to contact me. I ask my girlfriend if I can use her phone in order to text my mom. She denies me, and says that it's her phone, and if I need to text my mom, ... | 10 | 11.7 | |
1354236918 | 1354402459 | null | t5_2to41 | 367 | kittensnomittens: TIFU by going to the hardware store
Not even a throw-away. Fuck it. So, my genius brain was on /r/pettyrevenge and decided I absolutely HAD to have a few tools of the trade, namely some duct tape, rope, superglue, and an air valve stem tool. Those items would be handy to be kept in the car for some ... | 7 | 52.428571 | |
1354236494 | 1359196695 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Do_It_For_The_Lasers: TIFU: Thanks to my idiocy, my computer can't tell an Ethernet cable from a steak and cheese sandwich.
TIFU by uninstalling a bunch of device controller software on my computer, thinking I was uninstalling some shitty USB controller drivers that I installed months ago to play Skyrim (with a USB Pla... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1354193596 | 1354367083 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | twiddlemyfiddle: TIFU my video interview
I had my very first interview for my internship at a very prestigious hospital. And since i'm currently not in my home country, i had to do it online.
I was fucking nervous when the screen flashed the faces of the two male consultant doctors who are about to interrogate me. At ... | 5 | 7 | |
1354213380 | 1354396733 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking a street lamp on school property
So I live in a boarding school and I was talking to a tutor. I walked out of the school building and I was really angry so I side kicked a lamp post and I just saw the top come smashing down the the ground. It was dark so I highly doubt someone saw or heard i... | 7 | 2.571429 | |
1354266948 | 1354271395 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | tbell07: TIFU a desperate chance to talk to an ex
I used my mom's cell to text an ex and tell her that i have been missing all day and to ask if she knew where i was... She texted my phone telling me to go home because my mom was worried, she never sent another text back.
crimsonking1: forget that bitch you cant dwell ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1354266762 | 1354496664 | null | t5_2to41 | 221 | canipaybycheck: Fuckup Friday: Sex-related flubs
We're demoing a new feature here on /r/tifu called Fuckup Fridays. [It was suggested here](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/11srdn/40000/c6pabhr). This is essentially a thread where you share your past fuck-ups within a certain category.
So, for this week's catego... | 9 | 24.555556 | |
1354288504 | 1354296899 | null | t5_2to41 | 113 | nomanoid: TIFU: reset the counter, guys! I shat all over myself and my bathroom carpet.
What else can I say? I trusted a fart. A really nasty one that turned out to be explosive diarrhea. I'm not sure why people insist on the sunscreen bullshit. Want a real life savior advice? Never trust a god damn fart.
Oh, there... | 6 | 18.833333 | |
1354294930 | 1354359027 | null | t5_2to41 | 916 | nomanoid: TIFU by wasting over 60.000 litres of water.
Turns out I had a problem in my toilet flush. It kindda looks like [this](http://www.alwin-bathware.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/CH070901148L11.jpg). The flush button had been jammed down by the cleaning lady and, of course, she happened to jam the one toilet th... | 11 | 83.272727 | |
1354299490 | 1354335480 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | captsky: TIFU with the wife's birthday sweater.
Thinking I am doing a nice thing, I did our laundry. Not realizing that her new birthday sweater from her mom was in there. I am proudly hanging up our shirts in front of her and she spots it. Me being confused by the look on her face, I wonder what's up. As she starts cr... | 6 | 14.666667 | |
1354311471 | 1354313287 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIGFU (today I got Fucked up) For the first ti[m]e ever. [pictures] [not the dirty kind]. NSFW
Made sure to put the [m] so none of you got your hopes up on the pictures.
**TLDR**- First time I drank as ever so I drank 5 or 6 shots in three drinks.
At a family friend's house, hanging out and they make s... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1354299925 | 1354420049 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU: Told a female customer to "Go wash dishs"
So while speaking to a customer I was suggesting she call our corporate 800 number to request a discount. I was *trying* to tell her that if they seemed uncooperative to simply go busy yourself for a little while and then try back later.
Instead what actuall... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1354321355 | 1354802775 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | kire73: TIFU by falling prey to a "White Van" scam
I was on my way home from school, trying to make an appointment with an advisor as I stopped at a gas station. While I was on the phone some asshole rolls up in a hurry, with some other guy, and starts yelling something at me from his window. I wave him away cause...we... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1354321073 | 1354394219 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: [TIFU] While masturbating
So, this morning I was feeling kind of horny, and I saw a post about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethral_sounding on this subreddit, that was described as it felt pretty good. So, I tried it this morning... in the shower. Do you see where this is going? I couldn't find anything to... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1354315425 | 1354476323 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | tlf9888: TIFU and killed approximately 300 gold fish.
This wasn't today, it was actually about 2 years ago but I though I'd share the story. Anyways, I was working at PetSmart in the fish and small animals section of the store and I happened to be training a new employee that night. I was showing her how to feed the fi... | 3 | 15 | |
1354312927 | 1354392987 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU when I accidentally stole a persons backpack who has been in Canada for only a week.
So I was boarding the light rail train(15 minute trip) when i noticed a backpack sitting behind after everyone boarded the train. I figured someone left it there so i brought it on the train to help them out. MFW i see ... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1354335781 | 1354399397 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU: Made a flippant comment about marriage and am being downvoted to oblivion.
SEE: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/142926/tifu_with_the_wifes_birthday_sweater/
scroll to the bottom, click the little plus sign.
gbromios: Who cares? Downvotes mean nothing.
sukit_tribeck: this was my point man... wow... | 6 | 0.5 | |
1354336371 | 1354478367 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Nerfman2227: TIFU by getting Silly Putty on an expensive iPad case.
As I waited for a video game to load up, I playfully tossed some Silly Putty around..so innocent and beautiful...but this small ball of rubber-like material would soon become the greatest foe I would ever face. I set the putty down, grabbed my iPad, wh... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1354356624 | 1354419250 | null | t5_2to41 | 546 | [deleted]: TIFU and accidentally poisoned myself...
My mom was cleaning the tea stains off of a cup, so she rinsed it with a small amount of bleach. However, she didn't do a very good job of washing it out, and placed it with the clean ones.
I got a glass of ice water, and filled it, and chugged most of it. Then I not... | 9 | 60.666667 | |
1354343618 | 1354465472 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by blending
so, I'm now officially on holiday. while it is nice to relax, doing nothing all day can get a bit boring. so, with nothing else to do (I'd already satisfied my mansnake) I started looking for cheap christmas present ideas. I found this really nifty idea of putting moss in a jar; sort of like... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1354391203 | 1354402373 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by spending almost two hours on the toilet.
So here I go. It's 12:00 noon, and my gf and her brother came to pick me up since we were going to see Life of Pi. Right before I was about to leave, I wanted to just go to the bathroom real quick, and I told them and they said they will wait. So I'm in the ba... | 7 | 1 | |
1354395009 | 1354575066 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending university application for English off with grammatical AND spelling mistake.
Now I await for rejection from all 5 universities I applied.
3141592652: This is why you proofread and then again after you think it's good. Have someone else look it over to. Although we all make mistakes. I hope t... | 4 | 9 | |
1354412999 | 1354510405 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a girl, and bringing my female date to a Christian propaganda flick...
[This is the movie I'm talking about.](http://www.amazinglovemovie.com/)
I just thought it was going to be a typical, romantic makeout movie. I think that's what she thought too, since we're both atheists, and we never woul... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1354418079 | 1354908281 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TiFu my wife found a pinup photo of one of her coworkers on my phone
Now I don't know how to make my situation any better. In my defense it was sent to me by a friend of mine and not the girl in question.
Asimoff: We're going to need to see the pic before we can advise you properly.
unas666: For scientifappi... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1354418468 | 1354421973 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | NarcoticNarcosis: TIFU and burned my finger. It hurts.
So, I go over to my mom's house for dinner. She pulls the Salmon out of the oven and sets it down on the counter, and then asks me to grab some bowls. At that moment, I noticed there were juices dripping on the floor. Having been raised to do such a thing, I asked ... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1354425831 | 1355185791 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | somedude0: TIFU - left a party, broke into someones house, got in a fight with a police officer
Yea, I was doin drugs and drinking at a party and got too drunk, left to go home.
broke into someones house to sleep, I figured it would be cool, then they called the cops
got in a fight with the cops
yea I am in trouble ... | 12 | 0.5 | |
1354479763 | 1357009516 | t3_144sx7 | t5_2to41 | 35 | withmorten: Seriously, that didn't work for me. Why do you think I was so dumbfounded?
I can click the picture as often as I want, NOTHING happens. The cursor doesn't even change hovering over it.
[deleted]: What browser are you using? Try right-clicking on the area and click "Open Image".
withmorten: Tried it in Chro... | 13 | 2.692308 | |
1354416122 | 1354605732 | null | t5_2to41 | 82 | stormaes: TIFU by getting a tick on a testicle.
Me and this girl have been sleeping together for a while now, and we recently spent some time down the coast.
And everything was great, until we had to come home.
We got home and were so wrecked that we went to bed for a cuddle without having a proper shower.
So cuddli... | 7 | 11.714286 | |
1354427876 | 1354438410 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU: and drank hyper-saturated saltwater
Well i was experimenting with a friends idea to murder someone he had the idea of boiling water for it to retain more salt and taste less salty and i dumped 1 ounce of salt into a cup i while holding it because i was bored grabbed a straw and started blowing bubbles ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1354469577 | 1354502849 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | SearchingforMemory: TIFU and made assumptions that my girlfriend was on a date before actually finding out the whole situation.
Today I royally fucked up.
So, I went to work where I begin at 3pm and work until 1130pm. The whole time my girlfriend is texting me that she’s lonely and depressed. I felt bad because she l... | 4 | 17.5 | |
1354480556 | 1354671373 | null | t5_2to41 | 831 | [deleted]: TIFU by vomiting because my shit was so disgusting.
Last night I went out for a few drinks with my mates at the pub, nothing that amazing to report besides we got pretty drunk and laughed at stupid shit. The real event happened this morning.
I woke up hungover as fuck and decided to get myself a nice fry-up... | 9 | 92.333333 | |
1354487474 | 1354502716 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | payrock469: TIFU the guy I hired to do my essay ran off with my money, essay due in less than 24 hours
Lady_McFuzzySlippers: Yeah, you should've hired me instead. I would've done it for $30.
payrock469: Lol would u be willing to do it though??
[deleted]: it's a trap
payrock469: At this point, i'm willing to do just ... | 7 | 0.142857 | |
1354484002 | 1354492637 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | Uber_Chicken: TIFU by farting at work and making my boss call out an expensive plumber
Basically, I farted at work (really badly) and my boss thought that the drains had made the smell and has now called out a very expensive plumber to sort out the problem. I could of just told him that it was me but didn't exactly wan... | 5 | 11.6 | |
1354491522 | 1354529797 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | chilicookoff34: TIFU my relationship with my best friend/boyfriend.
I have been dating my now ex-boyfriend for the past 4 and a half years, it started off rocky but we got through it and we've been crazy in love with each other all these years and I became closer with him than I ever have with ANY person in my entire l... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1354504162 | 1354553876 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | EL_DIABLOW: TIFU: by ruining my christmas surprise from my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I had planned to go to Boston, one of our favorite places in January. We were just gonna do normal stuff and visit my family but I am a HUGE Cetlics fan. I really really wanted to go to a game and had been looking up tickets. I tal... | 4 | 12 | |
1354507994 | 1354679820 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | Mudbloods4Voldemort: TIFU by cutting my hair wrong.
I (female) was cutting my bangs straight across. I got them even and straight across about at my browline...then when I looked in the mirror I realized I forgot that when hair dries it kinda shrinks upward with volume. It is terrible and so, so short. I look like an e... | 6 | 2 | |
1354502437 | 1354538945 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my friends discounts
Happened yesterday technically, but today was the ass chewing for it.
I'm 17 and work at a Dunkin Donuts. I typically work the afternoon/evening shift, which is slow as all hell. Like, sometimes there will be 20 minutes with nobody coming in.
So my friend and his girlfri... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1354525323 | 1354553124 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | mrblonde99: TIFU by not testing the outdoor Christmas lights before putting it up in the tree.
Well it says it all. I usually always test the lights before putting it up. Climbed up in the tree, had the kids help me. Spend 20 minutes making sure the lights follow different branches to make the tree look nice.
Climb d... | 4 | 10 | |
1354533507 | 1354567291 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending my Ex a friend request on facebook.
I guess this seems immature and lame, but when i deleted her it was kind of supposed to be a fuck you. Haven't spoken to her in three months and then for some reason I looked at her profile and accidentally clicked on the friend request button.... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1354549733 | 1354603038 | null | t5_2to41 | 543 | tifuacomputer: TIFU my boss's computer
At work today someone had to use my computer for a minute, so I decided to use my free time trying to figure out the sound my bosses computer makes. I'm pretty sure its the harddrive but I wanted to test the fans.
I unplugged what I thought was the fan, but now know it was actu... | 9 | 60.333333 | |
1354553387 | 1354568159 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | magitoddw: TIFU attempting to try anal the first time.
Wasnt today, was years ago... let my shame be your lesson. Was with a now ex, and I had been barking up the anal tree for months and she must have decided to shut me up. She tells me that it might not be so bad for her if we use Orajel (an over the counter oral ane... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1354556239 | 1354557723 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | nirdefchains91: TIFU by breaking a brand new 1.5 Terabyte external hard drive
My girlfriend got me an early Christmas present: a shiny 1.5 TB hard drive. I was so excited. I immediately started putting all of my favorite *legally obtained* files onto it. Last night I moved my laptop (with the hard drive attached) from ... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1354558005 | 1354587632 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | TheWindWaker01: TIFU by making myself throw up.
This happened yesterday morning. I woke up with a really sore throat and could barely speak. I had an hour before work (which requires me to be able to speak). I remembered reading somewhere about how "drinking" salt water would help make your throat feel better. I took a... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1354299395 | 1354598786 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | sukit_tribeck: TIFU: Masturbated in the presence of Kittens.
So I adopted two kittens on Monday. They aren't super young, maybe 4 months old. I am a pretty avid wanker and thought nothing of whipping it out and fapping away. About 5 minutes in I guess one of them noticed the wiggling tip of my wang and decided it was i... | 7 | 2 | |
1354562332 | 1354666107 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | EJlogic: TIFU by reading /r/TIFU posts about masturbation
STOP SHOVING STUFF INTO YOUR PENIS. For your sake and the sake of readers who will feel tempted to read anything masturbation related but end up reading a horrific story of sounding.
Walican132: Wait there was more than just the magnet guy post? Shit I missed it... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1354564117 | 1354672179 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by recommending a sexually explicit gay romance film to Professor.
My Prof is German and she invited us out to a pub for drinks as it's the end of the course.
We started talking and I mentioned how much I loved a gay romance film called [Weekend. (2011)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1714210/) That in i... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1354572577 | 1354642263 | null | t5_2to41 | 224 | fdup_throw: TIFU by making out with a married friend
Well, last night anyway. I got a phone call from a friend of mine, a girl that's I've known for about four years now. We've had the "playful banter" thing going on ever since we met... but she's been married for almost 20 years and almost 10 years older than I am, so... | 7 | 32 | |
1354582030 | 1354705702 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | prussianiron: TIFU by having all my money stolen
Don't know how, or why, or who, but all of the money in my checking account was just stolen today. Now, 4 days ago this would be ok, as I only had about $30. Then I deposited my paycheck and now I have $0 and my almost $300 is out there somewhere because some sick fuck d... | 6 | 5 | |
1354597061 | 1354676810 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | imnotcooldude: TIFU by jizzing like peter north.
Not much to say, I hadn't had a sexual release in 5 days(usually fap erry day) and I had ended up with 6 consecutive blue balls having sex with my girlfriend becayse my dick wouldn't cum. When I came home, first thing I did was fap, it lasted 2 minutes but HOLY SHIT, my ... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1354575467 | 1354662161 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | Dogon11: TIFU by chasing my mom down in her car on my pipestem... barefoot.
I had forgotten my Pink Floyd album in the car, which I really wanted, so I turned around to go outside and get it. I figured my mom, who was now on her way to the store, would still be there, after all, I had yet to shut the front door. Alas, ... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1354604987 | 1354811766 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | jewbixcubee: TIFU by getting arrested over an exit sign
Well, technically 2 exit signs.
So, I am a college freshman who just finished a final, and I don't have another one for 3 days. Naturally, I figured, let's throw a party.
Let me preface this by saying i recently switched rooms to live with my friend, David. Beca... | 7 | 4 | |
1354622418 | 1354658664 | null | t5_2to41 | 286 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting friendzoned by a delivery
So I somehow get dream tickets to a basketball game for myself and this girl I've been into for a while. 11 rows up playing her hometown team, the perfect date. Everything goes perfectly well, got her to convert to my team, my team won, she's giving me the eyes... an... | 6 | 47.666667 | |
1354636087 | 1355185207 | null | t5_2to41 | 332 | bleedingumsmuffdive: TIFU by spitting blood on a girl's chuff
This is my first throwaway account, I'm fairly certain this story justifies it.
Okay, so I recently moved to the big city to start a brand new life after ending a two-year relationship and desperately needing a fresh start. In the first week of being here, ... | 7 | 47.428571 | |
1354638159 | 1354642119 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | nfitz88: TIFU shitting myself while playing DDR
you know that one fat kid whos really really good at dance dance revolution. Well thats me, and one time at the arcade (during a furious session i must say) i felt a fart coming up mid song. The idiot i am thought i could let it slide but i was on the hardest difficulty. ... | 3 | 16 | |
1354655986 | 1354745469 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | date_fuckup: TIFU by failing to get a date
This is a long read so I've divided it into paragraphs. TL;DR below!
Today I was in the gym and after I did my sets I took a cold shower and then I went into the sauna.
I had a newspaper with me (gym has them inside) and I sat down and began reading. After a while a woman com... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1354658679 | 1354697031 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | Scatteredbrain: TIFU by pocket dialing my mom during sex
So my iPhone broke two weeks ago, and I've been using an old phone- the env 3. So last night I went to a friends birthday party thing and afterwards we all went to some bar. after the girl I had been hitting on and buying drinks for the whole damn night told me s... | 5 | 22.4 | |
1354659254 | 1354761246 | null | t5_2to41 | 123 | [deleted]: TIFU and was mistaken for a pedophile
Today, it was really nice out so I decided to take my dog for a walk in the woods nearby. I brought a joint to toast along the way, as I do sometimes to spice things up. What could go wrong right?
Everythings as usual, I'm enjoying my carefree afternoon. I decide to le... | 12 | 10.25 | |
1354663797 | 1354675092 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | shitmyself: TIFU by shitting myself in the middle of the busiest rush hour METRA station.
Like the title says, TIFU by shitting myself, right in the middle of rush hour at a busy METRA station. I've been very sick for the past week and have had some pretty bad diarrhea. For the past two days I've been constipated. As I... | 3 | 8 | |
1354664207 | 1354731121 | null | t5_2to41 | 954 | Anotherfuckwit: TIFU by playing "That didn't hurt."
Wall of text: apologies but this story from last night goes back a long long way.
When I met my ex wife she was in a job she hated. She was envious of the fact that I worked with children and that I was, in her words, 'making a difference.'
Whilst she didn't have an... | 6 | 159 | |
1354669845 | 1354731828 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | krasserkanadier: I fucked up, by using words without thought.
Today I fucked up. Why you may ask? I was walking down a hallway, with a couple of friends, one of them my crush. Let's refer to her as simply: Her. As we were walking, my crush, brings up one of her dreams she had. It was the dream of her wedding day. She t... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1354671652 | 1356343543 | null | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: By geting my foot stuck in a tampon dispenser.Also, I'm a guy.
Well its pretty self explanatory.And my teacher caught me.
[deleted]: Well, my friends dared me to walk into the girls bathroom and karate kick the first girl that came out of a cubicle and I missed and my foot went up the dispenser
xCassiopeiAx:... | 4 | -0.5 | |
1354685729 | 1354703680 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking into the girl's bathroom
I was done with class...finally, had the rest of the day to myself but boy did i have to pee. I usually make a right in the hallway that I get out into to go to my dorm room, but this time i made a left and forgot where the mens bathroom was due to tiredness and the n... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1354695125 | 1354768135 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | [deleted]: TIFU peeing in the dark
I woke up in the middle of the night and hit the light in my bathroom which has like a 4 second delay. By the time the light turned on I was already peeing, on the wall.
lizzehness: I awoke, it was nearly dawn
I felt the urge of nature call
By the time I turned the light on
I was a... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1354705128 | 1354769030 | null | t5_2to41 | 358 | Treycoolis: TIFU By shitting myself in class.
I woke up this morning in the best mood ever. I got dressed and headed to school, and as soon as I got to class and sat down, had the intense urge to shit. Usually I'm pretty good at holding my shits in, but oh no, this time. This time was bad. I was in agony for 30 minutes... | 12 | 29.833333 | |
1354698223 | 1355004468 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | BirchBlack: TIFU by keeping the lube in the same drawer as my PS3 controllers
Went to do some cleaning just now and opened the nightstand drawer to find that the bottle of ass lube we keep in there exploded. All over my two PS3 controllers, two TV remotes, and a headset. Everything is really glossy and kind of sticky... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1354707337 | 1354737403 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | ParkerZA: TIFU by not asking the girl of my dreams out
Not really today, more like over a month, but thought I'd share.
I'm in university. There was this girl that was hugely into me, but I didn't ask her out because I had a crush on this other girl, who is a goddess, and a decent one at that, which for us Indians is ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1354728891 | 1354748645 | null | t5_2to41 | 353 | DreamOfTheArcher: TIFU: Today I agreed to upload the pictures from my father's old phone to the family PC and discovered he's into sicker porn than I am...
As stated Today I fucked up by agreeing to help my Dad upload his pictures from his old phone onto the family PC, somehow either by fault of my own or him not dele... | 15 | 23.533333 | |
1354733612 | 1354819041 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | couldbekidding: TIFU getting quarters for billiards
I was playing pool with my friends at the same bar we always go to. They have been doing some remodeling, so now the jukebox and change machine are next to each other (change machine used to be in a corner by it's self). I go to get the change for the next hour or so,... | 6 | 3 | |
1354746799 | 1358895419 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,918 | issuesmayexist: TIFUpdate by combining magnets with my urethra [NSFW]
Greetings once again, all ye dwellers of TIFU.
[My last thread](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13uidx/tifu_by_combining_magnets_with_my_urethra_nsfw/) caused some considerable comment. Many of the comments were along the lines of "old man, y... | 14 | 137 | |
1354746071 | 1354862628 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Glucosa: TIFU by getting my dad depressed again after 4 years since his divorce
Sheet. Well, my parents divorced like 4 years ago. Mom met a guy. Sayin it was the most hardest thing we've ever been though (the family) is getting short. My dad got extremly depressed and he used to cry in my lap. Okeey, good thing is, he... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1354762559 | 1354764941 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | IHitACar1: TIFU when I hit a parked car.
Throwaway for reasons that will become fairly obvious.
Last night my mom woke me up, telling me that she had food poisoning from some McDonalds breakfast thing. She needed to go to the emergency room, but couldn't possibly drive in her condition of vomiting every minute.
Let m... | 4 | 8 | |
1354765332 | 1354908866 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost killing my Dad
So I got home from a long day of school (9am-9pm) and I was pretty out of it. My Dad asked me to help him out real quick and I thought, "yea sure not a problem," my dad always has time to help me. I don't know exactly what he was doing, but it had something to do with fixing t... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1354776770 | 1355693138 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by stepping in diseased cat shit
So, my cat, Shadow, has some serious body issues. Especially with the digestion end of things. As a result, she shits and pees all over the house, mostly in the wooded hallway, but sometimes in carpeted areas of the house. Which is worse.
So, this morning I come downsta... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1354786519 | 1354794487 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | bounceme08: TIFU in so many ways (long but hopefully worth it)
A little preface:
1. This didn't happen today but I learned about this subreddit from a friend and decided to post my horrible day
2. I know everyone does crazy things when they panic, but my mind almost completely seemed to lose all powers of good reasonin... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1354779400 | 1354812969 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | Basoran: TIFU my eye
As a tradesman, occasionally, I get to deal with that most irritating of wonderful inventions, insulation. Stuff that keeps the cold cold and the hot hot and I would rather run a marathon in a wool speedo than install it for a living.
Careful is careful but shit happens, and a piece landed in my e... | 3 | 20 | |
1354810305 | 1354858216 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | iamatotalfuckup: TIFU: Dating 2 girls, and talking dirty on my intercom system
I'm recently out of a 3 year relationship and seeing two girls. They both know about the other one, and are also dating other people as well.
**Girl A** is the super cute midwest transplant to my major costal city. She's the kind of girl yo... | 17 | 4.411765 | |
1354812458 | 1354815776 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | konekos_shadow: TIFU by leaving a glop of diseased shit in the living room
Bunch-O-Atoms: /bestof material right here.
canipaybycheck: Post it then man
| 3 | 28.666667 | |
1354815299 | 1354865269 | null | t5_2to41 | 340 | canipaybycheck: 50,000!
Congratulations /r/tifu, we've reached 50,000 subscribers!
It seems like just yesterday we were [celebrating 40,000](http://redd.it/11srdn), but here we are with 50,000! [Here are some stats](http://stattit.com/r/tifu/) and [our traffic stats](http://imgur.com/a/0fW2C).
We're gearing up for th... | 9 | 37.777778 | |
1354818650 | 1354918424 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | SplendaMan: Tifu by bombing my math exam which will bring my GPA below a 2.0, suspending me from college.
Unless I ace my finals I will be suspended, or expelled. Fuck college.
Edit: Good news everyone, I did pretty well on my chem test today, so hopefully that can make up for some of this lol. Now I wait for finals... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1354819712 | 1354847973 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | the_slacker99: TIFU by shitting myself
Well I've had stomach flu since Monday night. The vomiting part is over but my stomach is still messed up. I've had pretty bad diarrhea every day. Last night my stomach was hurting really bad but I said forget it since I was really tired, and I went to bed. What a terrible idea. ... | 5 | 7.4 | |
1354819517 | 1356563696 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with the friend of a girl I'm into
Went out last night with a few friends. Ended the night after bar at my place. Somehow....I have no idea....I wound up sleeping with a friend.
Sounds awesome except that she's semi friends with a girl I've gone on a few dates with and I really like. Ther... | 6 | 9.5 | |
1354829749 | 1356129322 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | donkeyslayer16: TIFU by giving a cop the finger
Tifu by driving home and saw a cop behind an oncoming car. Without thinking I give him the finger thinking, he wont do anything. As I watch in my rear view mirror he turns around so I turn down the closest road and try to hide. When he does catch up to me he turns his lig... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1354834748 | 1354849717 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | suckmybaconplease: TIFU by accidentally being racist
So walking to my car at school a black girl runs in front of me to hold the door open for me because my hands were full. After thanking her I said "YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES" as I leave I keep hearing it over and over in my head and it occurred to me that what I sa... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1354836948 | 1354837865 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | bzzman: TIFU my entire day
So today started out like any other, I woke up and got ready for school. I had been out for 2 days because of knee swelling; I could barely walk and had to use crutches. On a Spanish project, I partially used a translator (I finished the project two Fridays ago) and this is apparently against... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1354839560 | 1354843493 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | iPNewok: TIFU: Glued somebodies mailbox shut. They came outside and . . .
he was swinging his sight stick to get down the stairs. yes he was blind. yes i drove away. today i fucked up.
xinxai_the_white_guy: Why'd you glue his mail box shut?
darthelmo: 'cause he (OP) 's a dick.
| 3 | 2 | |
1354829669 | 1355001808 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | kylechloe66: TIFU: By leaving the parking brake off a brand new £300,000 bus.
So i'm currently studying Bus/Truck mechanics in college aswell as working as an apprentice at a bus hire company in the UK.
So yesterday my boss bought a brand new £300,000, he asked me to move it over the depot to park it (our depot is on... | 8 | 2.25 | |
1354849809 | 1354919838 | null | t5_2to41 | 498 | facetious_journalist: TIFU by playing golf with Brian, from accounting.
Golf is something I thoroughly enjoy. It's something I'm fucking good at. Today marks my fucking Christmas - Friday the 7th of December. A date that's been circled in blood since last December. Company golf day. Ambrose rules can be a blessing, or ... | 10 | 49.8 | |
1354857100 | 1354914024 | null | t5_2to41 | 190 | TheOriginalGalatea: TIFU By Taking A Bath
I feel the need to preface this story with a couple of things. First of all, I am Anosmic, which means that I have no sense of smell. This will be important later on. Secondly, I have an array of vitamins in my bathroom, and many of them look alike. It is not unusual for me to ... | 5 | 38 | |
1354857593 | 1354898705 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | The_Noah: TIFU: I lost my best friend
I'm not sure if this is the right place. This place is called Today I fucked up but this is a culmination of fuck ups that just exploded today.
I guess this is kind of a normal thing. I had a girl best friend I wanted to be with her she didn't want to be with me. However, she did... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1354858327 | 1354916999 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Echothermay: TIFU my final
So this one time when I hadn't slept for 3 days, and by "this one time" I think I actually mean just an hour or so earlier today, I walked into my final 45 minutes late. The only open seat is right next to my professor. He's actually really nice to me as if I wasn't even late. He offers to pl... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1354865370 | 1355352293 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | Y0lo: TIseriouslyFU by bringing my camera with dirty personal pictures on it to work
I brought in my personal camera to work for some pictures I had to take. Our office camera sucks shit etc so I decided personal camera would be better. I haven't used the camera in a while nor have I bothered to upload pictures. When a... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1354872173 | 1354910425 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | valet_of_destruction: Third day as a valet. Crashed a guest's rental into an employee's car.
GeorgeOlduvai: You do realize that all posts are required to start with "TIFU", right?
That having been said, whilst you did fuck up, you're nowhere near the level of fucked up that this subreddit is used to...see [here](http... | 4 | 5.5 |
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