start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1411155410 | 1411157263 | t3_2gw0ah | t5_2to41 | 15 | adhoc92: TIFU by thinking all of the cigarettes at Rite-Aid were Tiny
I woke up this morning and realized I was out of cigarettes. I don't have a car and it's pretty cold out, so I decided to just wait a few hours until I wanted them enough to actually walk down.
Eventually, I reached critical mass and sprinted down t... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1411156669 | 1411161428 | t3_2gw2l6 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking laxatives before a night of drinking.
KRaidium: Hi MrFickleFuckinPickle, thank you for submitting to /r/tifu.
Unfortunately your submission *TIFU by taking laxatives before a night of drinking.* has been removed because it violates RULE 10: "All posts centered around defecation will be remov... | 4 | 1 | |
1411158282 | 1411163664 | t3_2gw5eh | t5_2to41 | 8 | Sithsaber: TIFU By getting involved in divorce proceedings
While calling to see when my father would pay me back, I fucked up by asking about his personal life and inadvertently telling him that he had been issued a court order telling him to pay a few years worth of my brother's child support back pay. Apparently he h... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1411152490 | 1411436798 | t3_2gvv32 | t5_2to41 | 3 | suntsu96: TIFU by saying that I love my friends big "Tits" infront of a nun.
So I went to a catholic school when I was younger and all of my teachers were nuns. My favorite teacher out of all of them now works at my high school as an aide for mentally handicapped kids. She gave up her nun ship so that she could get mar... | 3 | 1 | |
1411158560 | 1411192411 | t3_2gw5wr | t5_2to41 | 4 | Fmlgg: TIFU being caught going on fb 4 times already when I'm supposed to be doing work (parents are super asian)
First time using this section. Be gentle pls.
So this month i have been already caught on fb 3 times and SUPER ASIAN parents absolutely hate it, so they got really pissed and gave me one last chance. Wel... | 4 | 1 | |
1411159764 | 1411248269 | t3_2gw81b | t5_2to41 | 50 | TooLoudSnap: TIFU by using snapchat in a room with family.
This happened a few days ago, and I've just gotten over the sheer embarrasment of what happened. A bit of backstory though first.
Just proof-read this and realised its stupidly long, but eh well.
So a couple days ago there was a family gathering, of course bei... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1411160293 | 1411160831 | t3_2gw8zv | t5_2to41 | 9 | tryitonemoretime: TIFU at work
TIFU: In the kitchen of the restaurant where I work (today was my 7th day), the county mandates that we have to wear gloves when handling food, no exceptions. So, when trying to fill cups of tartar and sour cream, I have some issues flipping and separating the cups. I thought I had a grea... | 3 | 3 | |
1411159991 | 1411165896 | t3_2gw8g6 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU Locked out of my car in a Big Lots parking lot.
TIFU. I suppose I should preface this story by the full context:
1. I recently got divorced and moved to a large city where I essentially know no one.
2. I am the most absent minded person and I constantly misplace everything.
3. I have large boobs.
So t... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1411160207 | 1411289253 | t3_2gw8tn | t5_2to41 | 29 | mistahwhiskahs: TIFU by being an opiate addict.
This is going to be quite long, and honestly I don't know why I'm sharing it here. I suppose its a desperate, pathetic last attempt to get all of this off my chest.
I've struggled for the past two years with intense opiate addiction. I've always had substance abuse issu... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1411161289 | 1411162581 | t3_2gwasg | t5_2to41 | 24 | Ahmad_adio: TIFU by wanting to masturbate while no one was home.
Its Friday evening, I'm stressed and tired, and no one was home for a one hour interval. I decide to watch Lie to Me for about forty minutes and then I come upstairs for masturbate. I lock my door, (in-case someone comes home without my knowing),and surf ... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1411161087 | 1411164971 | t3_2gwafe | t5_2to41 | 6 | magicthrow1: TIFU by accidentally taking drugs to an airport and having my bag searched
18 year old me, intrigued by the wide selection of "legal highs" available at the time (this was a few years ago now) had done a bit of online shopping to sample a few of the new powders on the market. Well packaged, they came deliv... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1411161407 | 1411164792 | t3_2gwb00 | t5_2to41 | 5 | alonitzhaky: TIFU when I saw my dad masturbating.
TParis00ap: You should get over it. It's just porn. Mindfuck - your mom probably watches porn too. Hell, they might even watch it together.
LordOfCinderGwyn: [relevant](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10dGpZcihMQ)
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1411163781 | 1411223977 | t3_2gwexg | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU By feeding birds
It started 4 days ago when I saw two cockatoo's sitting on my balcony. I went to the laundry, grabbed a bag of bird pet food seeds and poured the seeds on the floor.
These two cockatoos grew to 10 the next day and 15 the following day. I was very excited about them because, I was havi... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1411163708 | 1411195155 | t3_2gwet3 | t5_2to41 | 15 | thebeardwiththeguy: TIFU by spitting
Yes, this happened today, a few hours ago. I'm very new to Reddit, but I thought you guys might enjoy my stupid story.
First, a build-up to my fuck up. I've been chewing tobacco since I was 16 (I'm 23 now). Every job I've ever had has involved working outside with the ability to spi... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1411161534 | 1411181116 | t3_2gwb6z | t5_2to41 | 17 | korukyu: TIFU by washing my hair in my kitchen sink.
This morning started off normally. Got up, made breakfast, watched the news so I could have relevant small talk with boring co-workers, etc.
I'd showered after the gym last night, so I decided not to dry my skin out too much by showering again. But I have a hair st... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1411165107 | 1411165741 | t3_2gwh4e | t5_2to41 | 11 | rebornasloth1: TIFU by getting cement in my eye.
Well, today I was outside fucking around and considering we are getting a building made they poured the cement for the foundation today. While outside there were little "pools" of cement laying around that was mis-poured and isn't used for the building. I came up with th... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1411142449 | 1411196451 | t3_2gvcom | t5_2to41 | 5 | INUNisNOTHING: TIFU by setting a trash can on fire. (Accidentally)
This actually didn't happen today, more like 13~ years ago. But I just feel the need to share it!
I was attempting to cook on the stove for about the third time in my little kid life span when suddenly the fire got too high! I being a stupid little kid... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1411164298 | 1411173792 | t3_2gwfsl | t5_2to41 | 18 | Zorenstein: TIFU By trying to make a move on a girl I had just started hanging out with
So this actually happened today, few hours ago. Went to go smoke with this girl (who gave me her number yesterday) at her friend's apartment. We smoke and chat and have a good time. The girl who gave me her number goes into the othe... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1411166580 | 1411340236 | t3_2gwjgp | t5_2to41 | 8 | alonitzhaky: TIFU (again) by seeing my brother having an orgy.
Well, hey again :)
So today I keep getting fucked up :')
I saw my brother with his girlfriend having sex and some other kid (that I know, more like my bae) and they went to his+my room and he started giving him a blowjob. I forgot my charger at my room and ... | 4 | 2 | |
1411165555 | 1411173179 | t3_2gwhwe | t5_2to41 | 0 | Suzi-Yachiru: TIFU by ending up with a soaking, lemony crotch on a train.
Okay, so this actually happened yesterday but hey ho. I was on my way to the enrolment day of an adult college course. I was very excited and had made an extra effort to look smart, I was feeling pretty good about things. I was going to get the t... | 3 | 0 | |
1411162221 | 1411177288 | t3_2gwcee | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU by listening to Google Maps
I should preface this by mentioning that I recently got a new job at a mine in central British Columbia. It's somewhat remote, so the company pays for shuttle buses to drive employees the hour-long drive from surrounding communities. After I got the job, I rented a bedroom in... | 3 | 22 | |
1411162103 | 1411190772 | t3_2gwc78 | t5_2to41 | 10 | frumious_b: TIFU by trying to show my so how you're supposed to go off a bike ramp.
A while back I looked out into my backyard and saw my son and nephew trying to go over a makeshift bike ramp made out of a broken picnic table. They were being really timid, so they would chicken out just as they were getting close to ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1411164513 | 1411267425 | t3_2gwg4k | t5_2to41 | 9 | tinkergnome: TIFU by not keeping an eye on the neighborhood dog...
We have a neighborhood dog that we sometimes take care of and feed, because her actual owners don't take very good care of her. She now knows to show up at our place about once a day o get a bowl of food and a dog biscuit and some attention and love. Sh... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1411162750 | 1411176411 | t3_2gwd9a | t5_2to41 | 12 | realsound05: TIFU by not setting the parking brake on my car.
It had been a long and stressful day at work. I had just gotten home and was still tightly wound. I parked my car in the driveway (which is slightly sloped, but flattens out at the top. Per usual I left the car in a forward gear, but today I forgot to set my... | 3 | 4 | |
1411167530 | 1411168928 | t3_2gwkyc | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU By threatening a senior citizen.
I've been kinda broke lately and so a few weeks ago when I came across some article "10 Ways to make cash with your smartphone!" I figured what the hell and read it. So I get a few of the apps, two of them are a giant BUST but this one, Field Agent, looks like it might b... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1411168641 | 1411171745 | t3_2gwml9 | t5_2to41 | 15 | 0hnoesazombie: TIFU by singing at work
I work a factory job with a pretty religious boss. This job is more than a little tedious, and I find myself singing a lot of the time to break up the monotony. My latest earwig is [this little number](http://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY) from Garfunkel and Oates. For those of you unfamil... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1411168422 | 1411203810 | t3_2gwm9i | t5_2to41 | 7 | tatertotcasserole01: TIFU by suspecting my girlfriend of cheating and being wrong.
So, I have been dating this girl for roughly 9 months and today, she told me that she was going to see her mom for money... I was already a bit skeptical knowing that one, her mom is flat broke and doesn't have a job... So naturally, me ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1411169202 | 1411179125 | t3_2gwngh | t5_2to41 | 102 | pressfastf0rward: TIFU by tripping off a burrito.
**Obligatory demand for karma since this happened today.**
Before I got into today's events there are three factors I must disclose:
One. I eat extremely fast. Like *really* fast. Like in a food sprint I could probably beat Joey Chestnutt. Probably.
Two. I only began... | 8 | 12.75 | |
1411171160 | 1411174250 | t3_2gwqb3 | t5_2to41 | 24 | banger14: TIFU by smoking in the school parking lot before football game.
So me and my buddy were sitting in my car I just lit a cigarette and was smoking it. We passed it like twice and a couple little girls ran up to my car. They said "Got them!". And then their Dad yelled to them good job. I passed it off as they we... | 9 | 2.666667 | |
1411171010 | 1411171939 | t3_2gwq2r | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on a first date on an island
Was invited on a first date in NYC, and someone was like "let's take the ferry out to Governor's Island and bike and shit." I'm thinking that I invite her for coffee, but how lame is that? An island!? Let's fukkin do this!
As soon as I get off the ferry, I realize ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1411162080 | 1411187990 | t3_2gwc5s | t5_2to41 | 12 | wavingthe44: TIFU by being too rough *down there* in the dark
(I know there's been a few complaints about the amount of sexually orientated posts recently, but this is something I seem to excel in.)
After reading [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2gt4bs/tifu_in_a_lot_of_ways_it_wasnt_lipstick/), it rem... | 3 | 4 | |
1411173103 | 1411205317 | t3_2gwt45 | t5_2to41 | 37 | commander_wong: TIFU by getting this subreddit banned at my school.
I spend pretty much all my computer classes, which is half the school day, on this subreddit. Today it got blocked from the school wifi.
dray0: Use the "+" trick.
Try http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu+
It works in my school for the banned subreddits.
Mega... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1411173042 | 1411271898 | t3_2gwt0c | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing my crush a picture of my mom
I showed a picture of my mom to my crush earlier today. She was in awe of how beautiful she was and kept commenting on it. After a while she turns, looks at me, and says "what happened with you?"
Fuck.
[deleted]: Mom's pic or it didn't happen.
sugargliderlover... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1411173949 | 1411176168 | t3_2gwube | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU while trying to get an aerial shot of my buddy's dad's recently restored car.
Im on mobile so i apologize for grammar and spelling.
This happened about 3 houra ago. But first, a little backstory:
My friends dad acquired a 1976 Lincoln continental. She was in rough shape. Ran, but didn't look like muc... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1411173292 | 1411188175 | t3_2gwte3 | t5_2to41 | 3 | qbguy: TIFU - A coworker and I got a little to close and I'm married!
Just before I begin, I want you all to know that this is my first time posting on here, and well I am a fan of this forum. I just wanted you to all know I still could not believe what I had sir-come too. Now this happened two days ago.
Well where sh... | 3 | 1 | |
1411177045 | 1411178512 | t3_2gwypx | t5_2to41 | 6 | Gavinmgraham: Tifu by not getting a generator.
We have a show tomorrow (we do side shows and run a diy midway) at a street festival in Baltimore. My one job for the group was to get a generator to run the games and sound system. Took today off from work to get everything ready. The cold, horrible realization that I nev... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1411178227 | 1411182669 | t3_2gx0cc | t5_2to41 | 7 | pineapple2010: TIFU by giving myself a hickey.
This started a few months ago when my dishwasher stopped cleaning and my apartment refuses to do anything about it. Therefore, we have been trying to use disposable items to cut back on dishes.
Today I was relaxing on the couch after playing with my daughter for a while. ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1411179805 | 1411202634 | t3_2gx2jg | t5_2to41 | 3 | itzaklevi: TIFU by driving too slowly
So I had to go pick up sister from a band rehearsal at around 10:00. So just a few minutes ago, really. I pick her up and pull back out onto the road that connects back to the main road. This is the only connection from the school to the main road, so everyone is taking it. Well, a... | 3 | 1 | |
1411178053 | 1411188280 | t3_2gx03e | t5_2to41 | 15 | Justinterestedinknow: TIFU by playing video games with new people
second year of university i played video games with my friends that i lived with. i am OCD about my personal space so we usually played in the living room, the TV had broke and at the time my TV was too small. the accommodation that i lived in was 3 hous... | 3 | 5 | |
1411182239 | 1411229198 | t3_2gx5q1 | t5_2to41 | 55 | CrustyButtAss: NSFW TIFU by sticking my dick in a Mountain Dew bottle.
It all started when I was talking to my friend Scott (not his real name). We were talking about mountain dew bottles when I has a obscure thought in my head, "I wonder what would happen if I stuck my dick in that thing"? I proceeded to go downstairs... | 7 | 7.857143 | |
1411181842 | 1411432689 | t3_2gx57j | t5_2to41 | 18 | harley9498: TIFU by trusting that my gf locked the door
Okay, so my gf and I are in a long distance relationship, 4 hours apart. I see her most weekends, but a good amount of the time it coincides with me being at my parents house. Okay, so we did "it" the first time and got away with it, but she went to the bathroom... | 8 | 2.25 | |
1411184828 | 1411185326 | t3_2gx94h | t5_2to41 | 3 | holymother: TIFU by making an illegal turn.
Made a bad call and made a turn at a intersection where no turns are allowed. Well some cop saw me and slapped on 5 tickets for my reckless driving. Now I'm learning how to walk prior to the court date.
n4clh20: I would like to give you a ticket for posting something that la... | 3 | 1 | |
1411186415 | 1411206911 | t3_2gxb6z | t5_2to41 | 7 | landapple: TIFU by ruining a live recording.
When I was about 7 or so, my mom got me into television. She set me up with my own agent and whatever star children get. So I went to this place where they were holding a recording. I was to be part of a live recording audience. There was some guy demonstrating some hardcore... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1411183132 | 1411187122 | t3_2gx6xh | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by making a highly insensitive joke. :(
I have been friends with person A for a very long time. She likes to draw anime, specifically pictures of herself hugging this other girl, friend B. Touching noses, holding hands, etc. Etc. Friend stuff, right?
Well, today friend A was talking to friend B, and tr... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1411185596 | 1411232868 | t3_2gxa2l | t5_2to41 | 31 | bfg24: TIFU by calling in sick the other week
Context: I'm a 20 year old Aussie guy, working in a bottle shop part-time while I study.
A fortnight ago, we started a new roster at work, which has me closing up every second Saturday night at 9:30, starting at 4. This is a pain in the ass. I'd already planned to go to th... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1411177955 | 1411232139 | t3_2gwzyg | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by menstruating.
Apologies, this happened a few weeks ago.
---
On Thursday, I checked the period tracker app on my phone. It said my period would start the next day, but I figured it was wrong, since my period had come later than it predicted for the past few cycles. So, that night, when I packed up t... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1411190656 | 1411211765 | t3_2gxg8i | t5_2to41 | 9 | Turakamu: TIFU by showing my boss someone stole a wine cooler.
I told my boss that someone stole a wine cooler under his watch from his gas station. We replaced it with a spare they had in the back. The pack was strawberry daiquiri. We were in the beer cooler looking for it at the time and as i came out I saw a super h... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1411179745 | 1411243449 | t3_2gx2gf | t5_2to41 | 7 | purplemonkeydishrag: TIFU by trying to reinstall Ubuntu
So normally I use WindowMaker on my Ubuntu partition on my laptop, but for some reason a week ago I had to use the Gnome desktop, and as a result I got a popup telling me to upgrade to 14.04. Normally I ignore all upgrades, because they're too much trouble, but I... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1411171836 | 1411307686 | t3_2gwra8 | t5_2to41 | 8 | JonD91: TIFU by going to an auction
Background: So I work for this local family owned company, total of 12 employees (including me). Father started the company in 1982, son helps run the company. The son is married to one of the two secretary's. Her brother works along side me. I am also the newest person here (started... | 4 | 2 | |
1411195938 | 1411209595 | t3_2gxlm4 | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling someone they might have brain cancer
I work in a pharmacy and a lady was orderering some very obscure migraine medication. She was telling me of all the different medications that's she's tried and nothing has worked. Once she's finished listing 20 different medications my eyes unglaze and I ... | 5 | 8 | |
1411193204 | 1411204252 | t3_2gxizs | t5_2to41 | 586 | spazian45: TIFU by cleaning my BBQ
Thursday night after another day of work, my girlfriend and mate decide to have a BBQ and a few drinks to settle ourselves into the soon coming weekend.
My girlfriend gets home with these beautiful king rib eye steaks she has grabbed from the butcher and I start to prep and clean the... | 8 | 73.25 | |
1411198127 | 1411277989 | t3_2gxnku | t5_2to41 | -23 | Eyevoree: TIFU by letting my dog chase the neighbor's dogs out of our yard.
Well it wasn't so much an *I* fucked up as it was *we* fucked up..
So I live in mid-ish Georgia by Fort Stewart. Out here it's nothing but trees, bugs, and unpleasant people. One of my neighbors in my dead ass town has a family of rats-er dogs... | 8 | -2.875 | |
1411198443 | 1411219043 | t3_2gxnv9 | t5_2to41 | 164 | throwthecoffeeaway: TIFU by drinking coffee
I didn't get much sleep last night so I was pretty tired when I woke up this morning. I go to make myself a coffee and grab an bag of pre-ground coffee, I pour it into a double scoop group and make the coffee.
Further along the day I start getting more and more anxious and q... | 6 | 27.333333 | |
1411199219 | 1411282725 | t3_2gxojh | t5_2to41 | 96 | annikonda: TIFU by ripping the door handle off my boyfriend's car and throwing it at a customer
This just happened about 15 minutes ago. I just got off work as a cocktail server at a bar, and it was a really long shitty night. Meanwhile, my boyfriend went to happy hour with his coworkers, drank for 7 hours, and got obl... | 22 | 4.363636 | |
1411200737 | 1411248851 | t3_2gxpsg | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking to an ex that I should have never spoken to again.
So, I've been lurking on reddit for a while now, and have read a bunch of TIFUs and thought, "wow, I'll never post here." Well, tonight will be the instance where I eat those words.
To give a little back story, I was in love with this girl ... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1411196907 | 1411219849 | t3_2gxmik | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU By calling my adopted friend an Orphan
----- = her name
++++ = my name
In College class, I have this very pretty latina with such a great body, great personality, and beautiful eyes.
[How I kind of felt with talking to her or being in her presence]
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT5AQIlmM0I)
This g... | 3 | 1 | |
1411203106 | 1411203736 | t3_2gxrmh | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating ALL the wasabi peas.
About an hour ago I was sitting on the couch lurking on Reddit, bowl of wasabi peas in hand, minding my own business. Then my roommate walked in and asked if I was ready to leave, as he was carpooling me to class. I still had a shit tonne of peas left, so I decided to pour... | 4 | 8 | |
1411200479 | 1411281171 | t3_2gxpkx | t5_2to41 | 236 | bootsandpearls: TIFU by congratulating my co-worker on her non-existent pregnancy.
I started a new job three weeks ago. Today I walked into the break room to find my co-worker sitting down at the table casually scrolling through Instagram on her lunch break. I sat down across from her and we began to discuss the "cute ... | 7 | 33.714286 | |
1411204029 | 1411235185 | t3_2gxscz | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by not looking in the mirror before I left home.
So luckily I didn't walk around like this for long. I had just walked ourside to check my mailbox. Regular stuff. I usually take the the elevator but I'm doing a bit of a marathon next week so I figured I'll take the stairs. I should have taken the elevat... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1411201508 | 1411244802 | t3_2gxqen | t5_2to41 | 32 | jaykyungsoo: TIFU when I knew that I was wasting money for two months after my "Free Trial"
TIFU
I was totally shocked. I couldn't even think. I just want to let this out and I immediately thought of this.
So today, I was checking my bank accounts summary online. I really do not usually do this, but something tells m... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1411206504 | 1411285126 | t3_2gxubm | t5_2to41 | 83 | chllnpart: TIFU by using the wrong lotion...NSFW-ish
So I broke my back a while ago, and one of the medications I was given was a compound lotion containing Ketamine, Lidocaine, and another medication that I can't remember at the moment. I also have insomnia which can be overcome (occasionally) by some "me time". You ... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1411209917 | 1411285005 | t3_2gxx9w | t5_2to41 | 3 | Rastamousa: TIFU by insulting rather overweight friend
Yeah so this is my first post on reddit.
This happened a few weeks ago.
So at our school we have cooking as subject, it is amazing.
We cook obviously in the kitchen and we work together and stuff, and we all have a partner to cook with, and that partner for me is ... | 3 | 1 | |
1411210966 | 1411216866 | t3_2gxy48 | t5_2to41 | 13 | MagisterD: TIFU by asking about a particular women's fantasy.
This was about 8 years ago. At the time I was 42 years old and had been lucky enough to live out just about everything on my fantasy bucket list. I enjoy enacting fantasies, exploring, ~~corrupting~~ introducing women to new things, etc. It's an arduous task... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1411209750 | 1411285452 | t3_2gxx5q | t5_2to41 | 6,548 | PDvaughn147: TIFU by not knowing how to do my damn job.
This literally JUST happened. I have time stamps to prove it. And no, I'm not using a throwaway because fuck it all. I'm angry about it. This is also the short version and I'm gonna be leaving out a few technical details.
So I'm a 911 dispatcher. I just started a... | 12 | 545.666667 | |
1411213638 | 1411230515 | t3_2gy0ho | t5_2to41 | 13 | cheese2x: TIFU by calling my girlfriend after her work
So I am just waiting around for my girlfriend to finish work at 6pm. So around half passed six she called me, a little late than usual but never mind. So we were talking on the phone, I asked her why she’s a little late, she told me she went to the grocery to get a... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1411215855 | 1411216599 | t3_2gy2qr | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend I love her
Just for clarification purposes, this is a long distance relationship and we only see each other every 2 weeks or so, however we do Skype every single night.
We had been seeing each other for about a month so far. And last night, as we were ending a Skype call, we w... | 4 | 2 | |
1411210514 | 1411312243 | t3_2gxxqh | t5_2to41 | 16 | AndSoWeGo: TIFU by eating a delicious breakfast
I've been lurking around here for a while and finally decided to post. This happened last fall/winter. It's a longish story, but hopefully you guys will get a kick out of it.
My husband and I were staying at my in-laws because were going hunting in the morning. I woke up... | 4 | 4 | |
1411216769 | 1411264064 | t3_2gy3nh | t5_2to41 | 20 | pydmph: TIFU by punching a racist in the face
Cast of characters:
**ME** – 16-year-old mixed race girl.
**MY FRIEND** – 16-year-old white guy. Very introverted and nice, but comes from a family that isn’t exactly known for their racial tolerance and law-abiding nature. However, his dad has basically reformed.
**MY C... | 5 | 4 | |
1411217191 | 1411366976 | t3_2gy41v | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU almost sleeping with my best friend.
Well today I fucked up. .. me and my best friend just grinded each other till she came and then she fell asleep. .. im a male and yes we were drinking and she started it.... q/a?
Shelby71: She's your best friend, do you want to take it further? Because she obviousl... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1411218773 | 1411315779 | t3_2gy5o0 | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking out loud
So we were having biology class and the main topic was sexual reproduction. Like always our class idiot asked a dumb question: "Isn't masturbating murder, because you kill millions of potential children?" The teacher kept calm and told him that a sperm cell isn't a potential child w... | 6 | 10.333333 | |
1411221560 | 1411307684 | t3_2gy8v0 | t5_2to41 | 271 | Charlatan_Cosmonaut: TIFU ...OK So it wasn't today but apparently I cost Toyota about £20 million once ....
Was working as quality control at the Toyota factory in England, I worked in the welding stage, testing the strength of the welds on every so many cars to see everything was staying together.
My training should ... | 5 | 54.2 | |
1411221842 | 1411273902 | t3_2gy973 | t5_2to41 | 10 | neontiger07: TIFU by sending my mother a text message asking for $70 dollars worth of pot
So here is a bit of backstory: a few months ago after losing my job, and, consequentially, my place to live, I called my mother up to see what assistance she would be willing to provide me. She suggested I move an hour and a half ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1411222999 | 1411272714 | t3_2gyao0 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Fuckedupagain08: TIFU by forgetting how to date.
Last night I took the leap. I went on my first date in months.
•
We met online. Didn't talk much before hand. He asked to meet me at 7pm Friday night. No, 9:30pm would be better for me. He agreed.
•
Things you should know:
-I'm kinky. Like really, really world c... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1411221147 | 1411225494 | t3_2gy8di | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by not knowing how to fucking guess
I just took my psychology multiple fucking choice test of 25 fucking multiple choice questions. I didn't know maybe around 8 or 9 of them, so i stripped all the fucking 9 i didn't know into 50/50 shots. I knew it had to be one of two choices on every single one i didn... | 3 | 1 | |
1411224466 | 1411224755 | t3_2gycot | t5_2to41 | 17 | MrFickleFuckinPickle: TIFU by taking laxatives before a night of drinking. (not very NSFW but added it anyway)
So in a last ditch attempt to lose weight before boot camp on Monday I decided to take a bit of laxatives last night, but shortly after that a good friend of mine called me to take me out one last time before ... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1411225227 | 1411290736 | t3_2gydoa | t5_2to41 | 5 | panopticona: TIFU by trapping my dog in my kitchen.
This is my dog Cosmo.
http://imgur.com/4dD3SYq
He has been having a lot of stomach trouble recently and I had to go out last week to get a RugDoctor to clean up his vomit off of the new carpet in my apartment building.
Today, at 2 AM, he exorcism vomited all ove... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1411229247 | 1411301130 | t3_2gyjfx | t5_2to41 | 41 | FMDT: TIFU by attempting to dye my hair in public.
Ok, so my friend has invited me to go to this gig to see a black metal band called The King Is Blind. I really like metal but really don't look the part, as I wear bright clothing and have long blond hair. I'd done the best I could to dress the part, which boiled down ... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1411228984 | 1411302080 | t3_2gyj2o | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: Tifu by ignoring my bowels and going yardsaling
So this happened a few hours ago. Sorry if my story is long. I was on my way to a community yardsale in foothill ranch, CA when i had the urge to crap. I considered using the restroom at the mcdonald's i was passing but decided against it. The need to crap wasn... | 5 | 8.4 | |
1411229668 | 1411235072 | t3_2gyk1g | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my vagina.
Okay, so first things first - this actually happened today. About four hours ago, but this fuck up is to last a few days, at least.
Backstory: My boyfriend and I have never had sex with our genitals groomed in any fashion. What I mean by this, is that first time we had sex it wa... | 8 | 2.25 | |
1411230789 | 1411236680 | t3_2gylqm | t5_2to41 | 7 | rangersparta: TIFU by leaving cans of soda in the freezer
So thursday this week i had bought a bunch of cheap soda. Its about €0,18 wich is really cheap in the Netherlands. So when i came home dinner was ready to eat, and i didnt want to have dinner without cold soda. So i popped it in the freezer. All cool (no pun int... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1411231853 | 1411349759 | t3_2gynew | t5_2to41 | 19 | imanidiot918: TIFU by giving myself a dick bruise
There's not a whole lot to say. I was just sitting watching some porn, looking to beat off. I usually wear loose, comfy boxers, but I am wearing these boxers that have a tight elastic band because I went on a run earlier.
I pulled down my boxers, pulled out my whang, a... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1411231235 | 1411286143 | t3_2gymgr | t5_2to41 | 59 | nom_de_guerre_: TIFU in a number of ways, culminating in the loss of a good portion of my wardrobe and self-respect.
A little setup to start:
My dorm- 4 person with 2 bedrooms with individual locks
The setting - a snowy northeastern winter break
Staring me, with a cameo from pretty much the only other person on campus... | 5 | 11.8 | |
1411209329 | 1411233712 | t3_2gxwsk | t5_2to41 | 9 | pizzainsteadofblood: TIFU by breaking a glass shelf on my first day of work
TIFU well this was last night. Yet again my clumsiness got the better of me.
Last time I broke a light bulb all over my poor girlfriend.
So last night I had my first shift at a bar, I've worked as a bartender before so I felt in my element, y... | 3 | 3 | |
1411232021 | 1411248433 | t3_2gynoo | t5_2to41 | 44 | libertine-mufc420: TIFU by masturbating in my room (just now)
Yeah... so... I live with my parents. And my room doesn't have a lock.
I'm currently at home struggling to think of how I should face my mom after what just happened. Here goes...
I was surfing the net about 20 or so minutes ago and like the braindead idi... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1411233862 | 1411248779 | t3_2gyqjs | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting Diesel in an Unleaded Car
So today I am driving to the garage to get some fuel, which I hate doing as it costs so much and I decide to be stingy and only put £5 in because I am trying to save money. My girlfriend is with me and we are in a rush because I have to go to the shop pick up some pr... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1411228993 | 1411240325 | t3_2gyj3b | t5_2to41 | 3 | _kermit_the_frog_: TIFU by temporarily not having common sense
First TIFU text here.
Previous explanation: English is not my native language so, please, do expect some grammar and expression errors. DO IT!!
Now the TIFU: this happened like 21 years ago. I'm currently 28 so I was about 7 or so at the time. I've always... | 3 | 1 | |
1411260805 | 1411264966 | t3_2gyu1t | t5_2to41 | 4 | gothic-orianna: I dont know about you but if i was about to have sex with someone and they had the wrong set of gear i would be pretty taken aback too. Thats nothing to do with transphobia, more along the lines of. "This is not what i signed up for".
That is completely different to OP saying he would contemplate suic... | 9 | 0.444444 | |
1411237046 | 1411297584 | t3_2gyvq7 | t5_2to41 | 465 | tanoren: TIFU by putting chocolate in my bra
This happened just a few minutes ago and my face is still red.
A little backstory: I like my chocolate either warm and slightly melty or freezer cold depending on the chocolate. I also have horrible short term memory.
So this morning I was getting ready for a family party ... | 9 | 51.666667 | |
1411236454 | 1411290997 | t3_2gyutj | t5_2to41 | 143 | VaJordanNc: TIFU by sleeping in a stranger's apartment.
I went to the bar last night with a friend from my major. It was supposed to be her, me, and her roommate, but her friend bailed. So I'm thinking alright there's a good chance tonight ends well for me. We proceed to hang out the entire night, which is strange at t... | 5 | 28.6 | |
1411238194 | 1411240608 | t3_2gyxjt | t5_2to41 | 5 | reddvl5: TIFU by disappointing Jesus
When I was in middle school, my best friend used to 'camp out' in the pop-up trailer in the backyard. We didn't really stay in the camper, we just used this because it was easier to sneak out than the house.
One of our "activities" was to link a firecracker to a candle as a delaye... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1411239038 | 1411244888 | t3_2gyyvk | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: [NSFW] TIFU by having period sex with an FWB.
Periods are a part of life. And I'm super horny in the days just before and during my period. So anyway, today was my 2nd day (heavy flow) and I just met up with this guy from work I'm casually seeing, and we decide to move onto real stuff after a bit of small ta... | 3 | -0.666667 | |
1411239965 | 1411250826 | t3_2gz0e7 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing
my friend and i were coming back to our hotel room from a night a partying. while in the cab, i felt the need to pee. i was holding it in until we reach our hotel room. finally reached out hotel room and was on the verge of peeing. my friend couldn't get the door to open. i was holding my bag ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1411243197 | 1411328094 | t3_2gz5lf | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by totally misunderstanding my friend
Don't really know if this is considered a fuck-up, but it's pretty funny.
So me and my two friends just talk on Skype a lot (one if them isn't important in this post though) and one of them said something that sparked a memory of that one part in We're the Millers ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1411241297 | 1411393032 | t3_2gz2lv | t5_2to41 | 93 | murfyyy: TIFU at the gym. TWICE!
First off, im doing legs day at the gym which as people know, is the worst of all gym days. You push your legs so hard that your entire body feels strained, your blood rushes to your head, you can barely breathe because your core is tensed, Fucking legs day is the worst day. Anyway toda... | 7 | 13.285714 | |
1411242851 | 1411270593 | t3_2gz52e | t5_2to41 | 292 | DrRoxophd: TIFU by using Doctor Who to cockblock myself
Last night I went on a date with a self-described "nerdy girl". Eventually we go back to her place, and her room has a bunch of marvel posters, Lord of the Rings decals and other cool shit. We put on a movie (she put on the second hobbit film, obviously), and star... | 6 | 48.666667 | |
1411244899 | 1411246012 | t3_2gz89x | t5_2to41 | 0 | HarunaMazoona: TIFU by defecating in a urinal at work and getting caught.
For the past year or so, once every 5 or 6 weeks, I take a dump into the urinal in the restroom at work.
I do this because I find it amusing to imagine the reactions of my co-workers when they see it, and I enjoy hearing about it after the fact... | 4 | 0 | |
1411243898 | 1411292220 | t3_2gz6qy | t5_2to41 | 60 | Blickzofficial: TIFU by shining a laser pen in my eye
This occurred just over a month ago..
So, being the typical teenager that I am.. Me and a friend of mine chilled indoors on a Friday night with a few beer and some vodka while gaming.
Being the lightweight that I am, it didn't take long until the vodka started t... | 5 | 12 | |
1411237702 | 1411309651 | t3_2gywr0 | t5_2to41 | 147 | my_nan_is_boss: TIFU by not checking the tickets.
Tickets for two to go see Martin Freeman as Richard III - £111.
Train from Liverpool to London - £79.
Getting to my girlfriend's flat and pulling out the tickets only to find its a matinee show that started 5 minutes earlier - Priceless.
tl;dr -. There are some thin... | 3 | 49 | |
1411247056 | 1411247648 | t3_2gzbq3 | t5_2to41 | -7 | __penis: TIFU by studying for an exam
So I was studying for my first college Latin exam and ran into someone from my class. He gave me his number in case I wanted to study with him. He comes over that night and we're studying, talking, and generally getting along pretty well. I told him how I am bi and he seemed curiou... | 3 | -2.333333 | |
1411246796 | 1411340450 | t3_2gzbb2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | battat: TIFU - A Simple fu*k up
This is a pretty basic fuckup
Last night was unlike my normal friday nights. I had a little to much to drink. I accompanied my drinking with some weed. I was having the best time of my life.
I then met this girl we talked for a bit, she was in our apartment, we played beer pong for a b... | 4 | 2.25 |
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