start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1651149500 | 1651150188 | t3_udu100 | t5_2to41 | 11 | RoselineBlanchard: TIFU by violating my cat by releasing the most juiciest burp on her head
So I'm chilling in my bed, slowly drifting off to sleep when I notice my cat in my vicinity.
I grab her and for my lack of serotonin I begin love bombing her.
I'm here cuddling, kissing her, all the things u can imagine.
So I've now resorted to giving my cat a thousand kisses on her head.
But in my half asleep/half dreaming phase I've failed to recognize that my brain gave me a warning that I needed to burp.
I have also failed to recognize the fact that I'm still holding my cat and kissing her.
So now I unleash the loudest, most horrendous, most juiciest burp in human history possible. Her ears were flapping in the wind and everything.
Insects were falling off the walls, furnitures were struggling to hold their place.
It was bad.
So after my two braincells realized what they have done, they decided to do some damage control and I proceeded to blow... On my cats head. As in "try to blow the burp away"
Of course she wrestled free from my grip and created distance between us.
After I had calmed down a bit (I was laughing my ass off) I decided to sleep for real and got myself bed ready.
My problem currently is that I can see my cats glowing eyes in the dark.
I've read somewhere that it has to do with light falling into their eyes and then reflecting back.
But given the fact that I can't see her body, a glowing set of yellow eyes in the dark menacingly staring at me is not that great.
TL ; DR
TIFU by violating my cat by burping on her head
Update: my feet have been assaulted and she won't stop doing it.
DLMoore9843: My little sister got kicked out of my hometown’s public library for letting out a burp that kid you not was heard for an entire block (not block of books, a freaking town block)
RoselineBlanchard: Omg so I'm not alone
DLMoore9843: Apparently not, she was in the far back of the library when she “released that kraken” about 800 feet from the service desk there and they came running and it took them 10 minutes to find the source because it was so loud they thought it came from behind the dvd shelves
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1651151883 | 1651214824 | t3_udusr2 | t5_2to41 | 14 | Gipepsi: TIFU by having weed on me
I (16m) have many stoner friends. I've used weed before but never really brought it anywhere but at home. In my first period though, my friend sitting next to.me offered to let me use his vape. It was a strain I've never used before so I thought, "why not". I grab ut, go to the bathroom, and pull it out. As I grab it a teacher walks in and immediately tells me to give it to him and follow him. Cue police coming and questioning me and my parents getting called. They start talking about how the carts have been sending people to hospitals and that i need to tell them if i did anything with it. Denied everything but, still getting suspended. Luckily I don't have a record so I'm not getting charged with anything. Currently waiting on my parents to come get me. Just hope I don't get my ass beat. Learn from us dumbasses and don't do this kind of crap at school.
Tldr; Don't fucking use weed at school, your gonna get caught at some point.
Meso_Thelioma: Eyyo kid I aint your parent, but weed before the age of 18(ie: before your frontal lobe is fully developed) is not great for you longer term. Do it with moderation, my guy. Wait until your 18 until you fully dive in to the stoner life.
BeeElEm: If those were my options, I'd eat it too
Meso_Thelioma: I genuinely dont know what you are talking ablut
SalsaStoner: I think he was trying to respond to the other comment about flushing it or eating it lol
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1651152968 | 1651155514 | t3_udv5vo | t5_2to41 | 16 | joemofo214: TIFU by calling a customer in an email a f**k wad and then having a coworker attach that person to that email (s)
So, I work at a help desk for a printer provider company. One of my tasks is reaching out to people for the meter counts, or how much they've printed between months. We reach out via phone or email
I had this customer respond to my email asking for toner. Its not unusual for me to get a supplies order, as its just easier for the customer to email the last person they've talked to at our company. This person works at a Sheriffs department. So, unprofessionally, I forwarded the email to our supplies department, pretty much saying "Here is the equipment id, Officer TIFU is the f**k wad needing the toner."
So, the supplies department employee attaches them to the same email saying that toner will be delivered today. Stupefied, I went to their desk to check their sent box, only to confirm my suspicions: she sent the reply with the entire email thread to the guy wanting toner.
So, if the person in question were so inclined, if they hit the (...) ellipses button below that email she sent, they would see the entire conversation, including the f**k wad remark.
So, I already talked to my supervisor about this. We're all hoping that Sheriff doesn't hit the "ellipses of doom."
tl;dr: Don't talk shit about your customers to people not tech savy enough to not send that shit out to said customers
mustang-doc: But was he one?
joemofo214: Nah, he's alright. I'm the legit fuck wad
mustang-doc: Admitting we have a problem is the first step. Lol
| 4 | 4 | |
1651153200 | 1651303391 | t3_udv8mz | t5_2to41 | 14,070 | hereforthehumanerror: TIFU by leaving after my gf told me she loved me during sex.
[UPDATE]
Firstly, thank you all for your comments. Very few of you were actually pretty rude but I suppose that comes with the territory of reddit. Glad to say I can relay a huge fuck you to those telling me I had no chance.
To everyone else, you all made me realize that in person was better and soon is ideal. I went to her ASAP, here’s what happened:
Despite my long-winded posts, I am not a man of many words. Throughout our entire relationship I tried my hardest to compensate with my actions, that obviously bit me in the ass when my actions did not align with my heart. I had to put my initial demeanor aside and pour my all into her audibly - I did just that.
Not sure how detailed I should be. I went to her apartment, she answered not expecting it to be me (I’ve told her about answering the door and not knowing who it is but that’s neither here nor there right now lol). She was hesitant to let me in but after pleading, she allowed it.
I was overcome with emotion so much so no words were coming out. Call me what you want, but I got to my knees in front of this woman and told her how I felt. How much she meant to me, how hard it was for me to be so open and vulnerable and that I hadn’t realized this until that night. My girl is very great at facilitating an open environment for communication, so this is by no means a reflection of her but a testament to my upbringing. For context, both my girl and I come from abusive households. That reveals itself to her in her ways (though she handles it with grace and great consideration for others) whereas mine is very avoidant and closed off. Since a child, I never felt like a woman would truly love me based on what was instilled in my by my mother. We’ve had this conversation before, she’s aware of this, I’m currently in therapy, but I didn’t expect to react that way once I’m in presence of a woman who does in fact love me.
I told her and reiterated that I will go through hell and high water to acknowledge my inner conflicts not only for myself but for her. I emphasized I will also do this so I can show up for her emotionally and NEVER to leave her in a vulnerable state again. I apologized and teared up and apologized some more. She just listened, crying, but listening.
She knelt down to me and unbelievably… this woman said verbatim “I understand, our actions are never a reflection of others but of the relationship we have with ourselves”. She told me how she felt; confused, hurt and betrayed. Hearing that destroyed me but she also reassured me that she knew who I was as a man and believed me to be genuine. She also threw in that if that shit happened again, I’d have no access to her and she is her own priority above anyone else. Trust me, I will not be calling her bluff. She is very sure of herself and I’m surprised she even let me in.
She kissed me, thanked me for my honesty and told me it was okay to cry. Man, I’ve always been told as man, I am less than for showing emotion. I never felt so open and comfortable, not even with my long time friends. Nonetheless, I wanted to be sure I was the one comforting her and not the other way around. I asked her what I can do and well, we finished what we started. I made love to my woman for the first time. In the AM, I got us breakfast. Making sure to leave a note so she wasn’t caught off guard if she woke up and saw I wasn’t there.
I’m going to marry this girl. Do right by her and myself. She’s going to be the mother of my children when the time is right, mark my words. Coming from a man who didn’t see any of this for myself just a year ago. She really changed me for the better.
I also want to note that, though my girlfriend nurtures me in this way - she does not mother me lol. I know there’s a rhetoric of women “building-a-man”, she’s 100% facilitating my growth but I am a grown man responsible for my actions and will make the effort to be better on my own. I do not want to paint her as a weak for giving me a second chance like some of you have insinuated. Her support was and is something I… will be grateful for forever.
Also, I did end up showing her this post and we laughed at a few comments.
(Gf here) Hi! With work, we are all capable of reaching the healthiest versions of ourselves. This moment is not a mirror of our relationship but a marker to my bf’s growth. If I can say anything to help anyone, I urge everyone to reach out to those you love and do better not only for them but for yourselves! We are not to blame for our traumas but we are responsible for how they show up in our actions. Much love - ST.
On that note, not responding to nasty comments. Some of you are projecting and looking to tear a man down. I got my lady. Thanks everyone.
TL;DR My gf told me loved me for the first time and I got overwhelmed and left. Updating on getting my lady back.
[Edit] Too many comments to respond to. Just want to emphasize my thanks to you all. We both agreed to leave this post up in hopes it will help or motivate someone. There are comments saying this is fake and I’m fishing, whatever. I posted this on two sun reddit’s in hopes of getting as much advice as possible - did NOT think it would reach this many. My first post barely got any comments and I was desperate last night. People will believe what they want so there’s no need in arguing with that. But I hope all of you get to experience what seems to be a “fairytale” or a “movie”. I guess that is what real love looks like. For anyone wondering, we are both in therapy individually and not planning to cease at anytime. Have a good day to you all, even those who are doubtful. Oh well.
Also. Original here, also posted in the relationship advice thing. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/udls40/tifu_by_leaving_after_my_girlfriend_told_me_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
tommy-gun64: You leave her and we'll hunt you down.
hereforthehumanerror: Rightfully so lol!
staunch_character: This random Internet stranger is rooting for you guys.
Your posts made me tear up. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone where they feel safe enough to fully let their guard down & be truly seen. It really is life-changing stuff.
Brawnhilde: Oh yeah it feels super safe when your boyfriend beats down your door for not responding to his texts.
Yuh huh
tommy-gun64: Ugly guys are the best. They treat you like a queen (coming from an ugly guy).
Brawnhilde: MY problem is I go around telling ugly guys how beautiful they are to me and effectively empower them to leave me.
You're beautiful too, you turd, and you might not be as good a guy as you think you are. Society has screwed us all up so much it's almost impossible to be a decent person anymore.
tommy-gun64: >You're beautiful too, you turd, and you might not be as good a guy as you think you are.
Haha no one's good, everyone's selfish. But I certainly hope you find someone like OP found his partner.
Brawnhilde: *GOD* no. I would not want THAT mess of a relationship
tommy-gun64: Then I hope you find what you expect!
P.S. Expectations always hurt.
Brawnhilde: I expect respect. And I always end up finding it.
You should try the same.
tommy-gun64: Wow, you're good at this.
Brawnhilde: Thanks
| 13 | 1,082.307692 | |
1651151380 | 1651156377 | t3_udumra | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally bringing a bunch of knives to a military base camp.
[deleted]
hills_for_breakfast: I’m confused. Why would it be a problem to squat naked over a mirror? Do you have stiff knees?
ZebraJuice98: Well other than one bad knee, my mind was racing into what if scenarios. I don’t want to squat naked over a mirror and I’m sure many other people wouldn’t want to. But getting caught with a bag of knives in such a place I wouldn’t put it past them to be thorough in their searches.
Harry_Gorilla: Free colon inspection!
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1651153940 | 1651156652 | t3_udvi34 | t5_2to41 | 8 | SIushyo: TIFU By Killing a Strangers Chicken by Mistake
Mandatory clarification, this did not happen today. The incident occurred just over 2 weeks ago. I didn't think much of it back then, but now I realize it might be a bit more entertaining than I thought at first.
One of my best friends (23M) and I (23M) am on this month long trip to Thailand. I have never been to Asia before, but he has traveled here multiple times of the years.
Since he has been here before he is knowledgable and I trust him fully as he guides me through my adventure. We traveled north to Chiang Mai, a smaller city than Bangkok but still large. He advised us to both rent motorcycles; that is what they call them even though they are much smaller than the ones we have in North America.
The motorcycles were helpful to get around but I have essential no experience driving at all. I had only been riding the motorcycle around for about 2 or 3 days when the fuck up happened.
Our hotel we were staying at was smaller and off of the main road, on a side road in this city. The road is about 1 small lane in each direction and is surrounded by mostly undeveloped grassy land with scattered shacks for about 200m before my hotel. So I was still quite inexperienced on my bike as I had been riding for around 3 hours in total most likely. Just some general information: in Thailand you drive on the left, but lanes and the such a more suggestions that people roughly abide.
As I am nearing my hotel on this small road, I see a few chickens off to the side of the road on my left and a shack/stall on the road that makes it a bit of a blind corner directly past the 3 or 4 chickens. Anyways, 1 chicken was in the middle of the road, sorta in my path. I didn't really know what to do, but I was only going about 15-20km an hour. The distance between the stall and the chicken made it so I couldn't really go around it on the right as I couldn't see past the stall, so I just sorta went straight at the chicken, slow enough for it to move out of the way. Well that chicken runs out of the way as planned, but it runs to my right, further into the road. Instead of to the left which is closer to the grazing area. Well right as that happens a car speeds around the blind corner towards me and bammm! I just hear a distinct crunch as it runs over the chicken.
The car just kept going and so did I, back to my hotel. I didn't think much about it at 1st, but I told my friend about how I caused the chicken to get run over. He told me I could get into trouble if the people who own the chicken knew. I might have to pay them some money or something. No one really was around though, so nothing really happened after that regarding the chicken. He was riding back to our hotel the next day and he saw the dead chicken had been moved off the road, onto the side.
Tldr: I rode my motorcycle in a way that caused a chicken to run further into the street where a car coming towards me ran it over
ElectronicAmphibian7: I mean if anything shouldn’t the person who hit the chicken get in the most trouble!?
SIushyo: You'd think so!
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1651155801 | 1651161958 | t3_udw6mk | t5_2to41 | 54 | twistingtornado: TIFU by having sex with my girlfriend to having my dick cut by a doctor.
I apologize in advance if my grammar is a bit off because English isn't my native language.
Well... this happened about 2 years ago.
I(20) was still living with my parents and had a girlfriend, let's call her Tess(21) for privacy reasons and she was living on her own in an apartment.
Most of the time I would go to her place after school because we didn't want to deal with my parents most of the time.
So that summer evening we were getting a little frisky and started doing the deed.
Most of the time we use lube but sometimes things get so hot that it's not needed and this time that was the case because it was a hot summer day. You know the deal a lot of body fluids and stuff.
Things went great! I was on top and she was just enjoying my magic moves until.... about halfway in, my dick felt sore so I taught let's just take it slow and make things more sensual so we can both finish before we need to take a lubing break that makes things more awkward and takes too long.
And that is where I fucked up I was about to finish when suddenly I slipped and just dit a abrupt fast full penetration that my dick simply wasn't ready for.
I shout "Ah fuck" in a painful way. Tess already was wide eyes open from my slip and noticed something wasn't right.
So I got off quickly and backed off a bit that's when I saw a trail of blood leading from het vagina to my dick, a sight no man wants to see.
I quickly ran to the shower to not make a mess and clean myself off looked down, washed my dick and saw a big tear on the bottom part of my dick(The little piece of skin that's connected to the foreskin).
It was completely ripped in half, all I could think was oh shit oh shit oh shit.
I just stayed in the shower for a while with Tess sitting besides me comforting me.
The bleeding luckily started to stop.
So I didn't see a doctor because I simply didn't want to awkwardly show my dick injury... Turns out that is a stupid decision!
Because I didn't want to go to a doctor and still liked sex and still having a big injury on my dick.
my stupid brain taught it was a good idea to go and have sex again... I am still disappointed about that decision.
As you would expect The first penetration instantly made my foreskin tear even further and yes MADE IT BLEED AGAIN!
After that me and Tess did the same ritual like last time and the bleeding started to end again.
After that I did make a good decision by calling the doctor on the phone and awkwardly explaining my situation luckily he responded very professionally and told me to come and have a look at it.
I showed up at the hospital with my girlfriend because I asked her to and we are both very supportive.
The doctor called me in and asked to take my pants off so he could look at my injury.
He told me that my foreskin has probably ripped far enough to just let it heal and it wouldn't happen again.
so he gave me a tube of salve to apply on my wound so it wouldn't heal back to it's original shape that way my foreskin would be a bit longer and it won't happen again.
So with all good hope I return home apply the salve he gave me every morning and evening and at the same time kept my dick cleaner than ever to prevent infections.
Had a few weeks of no sex but the horny couple we are came up that if we didn't have sex and she just gives me oral my wound wouldn't rip again.
Some of those occasions did hurt a bit but for the most of the time I enjoyed it.
So I came back to the doctor with Tess for a checkup, he looked at it again and said that everything healed and we could have sex again.
After that we rushed home straight to our bed and start going at it again yay!
Well.... the doctor was wrong! It ripped... again..... and as always did my shower, cleaning and waiting till the bleeding stopped ritual and after I got out of the shower I called the doctor again to tell him he was WRONG!
He immediately scheduled another appointment and said that I could come by the next morning.
There and this time the doctor that used to look at my dick was not there instead there was an old lady telling me to put my pants down and lay on the bed thingy.
She went out and said she will be right back.
So there I lay fully exposed with Tess sitting next to me, I hear footsteps coming form the hallway and suddenly a whole group of nurses starts coming into the room to look at what the fuck i've done to my dick. There was like 5 of them and all I could think was two things: "Oh shit the only girls that have ever seen my dick where Tess and my mother" and "Oh shit I have a lot of girls just staring at my dick GREAT!".
They took a few good looks at it and told me to put my pants back up and come sit at her desk.
the other nurses left the room and there I sat again right in front of the old lady nurse again.
She told me that they have to surgically cut the part of my foreskin that tore so that it would be longer and it wouldn't rip again.
So I said "Okay if that is what I have to do to ever have sex again than let's do it!".
Scheduled an appointment with the surgeon and he gave me a salve that I would put on my dick right before I went to the hospital because it would paralyse the top layer of skin on my dick to lessen the pain.
So the next day I got out of bed put the salve on my dick and went to the hospital with Tess.
my dick kinda begins to feel weird because the salve is working and a nurse calls me in to start the procedure.
I am nervus as fuck because they said they were gonna cut my dick to fix my problem.
Came in to the room and they were very kind and told me every step they were gonna take.
This is the part where I'm gonna explain the procedure so if you are squeamish please skip to the next paragraph.
They firstly told me to put my pants down and lay on the table.
They put some steril salve on and around my dick to clean things up and next the put a big electric pad on my upper leg.
I asked them "Wat's the use of that?" and they immediately whip up a sharp scalpel and tell me it's so I don't get electrocuted by the knife.
Apparently they make the knife red hot so that it will immediately burn the wound shut and I won't bleed out.
Another nurse comes and puts a needle in my dick to reduce the pain.
They wait for the stuff to work and begin the incision. At this point I instantly look away because that is a sight I do not want to see.
Then I just hear sizzling coming from my dick burning and think "jup that's officially the worst sound i've ever heard.".
After that they told me that it's done and they clean me off.
got off the bench and they told me to go wait for a few minutes and have a drink to calm down so I won't faint.
after a few minutes I got up they gave me a salve again and went back home.
Put salve on my dick again every morning and evening and waited for i think about a month to have sex again.
After a month we had sex again and let me tell you that after about half a year of dicktroubles and not being able to have sex. having sex after that is the best feeling i've got in a loooong time.
Now I have not had any troubles again and got a big fucking scar on the underside of my dick. But hey better a big fucking scar than no sex :D
​
TL;DR: Had sex with my girlfriend tore my dick open went to the doctor, went back home, and went straight back to the doctor again to surgically cut my dick so I could have sex again.
qawsedrf12: That electric knife, the same that they perform circumcisions on newborn boys. It doesn't always go as planned. I read about a baby that had his dick basically burnt off, so they raised the kid as a girl.
Now think about that the next time you think you want to circumcise a child.
Nocrantus: huh, neat. I'm Jewish, so I had an in-house Bris (ceremonial circumcision), and from my mom's account, he just went in with a knife and wrapped it in a bandage. thank God I don't remember that
qawsedrf12: There was a case of a mohel that had mouth herpes. Gave it to boys during the traditional mouth suction to stop bleeding. One died.
if you want to read: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/baby-dies-herpes-virus-ritual-circumcision-nyc-orthodox/story?id=15888618
Nocrantus: what the fuuuuuuuu
| 5 | 10.8 | |
1651157795 | 1651163981 | t3_udwwj2 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking 2 edibles before driving with no brakes and then having to hold a loaded gun while giving a ride to a stranger
[deleted]
twotall88: What kind of idiot (you and your dad) drive a vehicle home without functioning ~~breaks~~ brakes? That's a work on it in the parking lot or pick you up and do that later situation.
TheRealTurinTurambar: You forgot to add 'while high.'
This fucking idiot purposely got high BEFORE knowingly driving a car and then continued to drive without breaks.
This mother fucker needs to go right to jail before they kill someone. Piece of shit!
I personally know 3 people who are now in jail or have no license due to DUI. One of them is a heartbreaking story of a single mom who killed someone while driving under the influence. Now she's in jail and her child is in protective custody.
Don't drive under the influence people!
twotall88: >Don't drive under the influence people!
PSA, this includes exhaustion which is as or more dangerous than blowing 0.08
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1651158755 | 1651164029 | t3_udxa3q | t5_2to41 | 13 | DesperateTimes43: TIFU by getting attached to a married woman !
As the title says , I (19F,single) met a woman(24F,married) a few months ago on SM and and immediately felt a connection . She did tell me she was married and we stayed friends but after a while things got heated and we decided to become FwB . It stayed that way for a few months.
But soon I realised it was getting messy as she kept saying "I love you" like she meant it but all I could find was her getting more horny and outta control . Now the latter was okay because that's what FwB stands for right ? But no I for some reason caught feelings for her , while I'm pretty sure it's not love ,it is an a kind of an attachment though.
Anyway I confronted her last night, asked her if she really loved me ,to which she said she did and that she loved her husband and me equally but honestly from everything I've been through with her , she only wants to have sex with me as her husband was "incapable of satisfying her" (in her words) .So I told her I needed some love and affection too . She replied with I can try but i can't promise . Well I got angry because on one side she keeps telling me she loves me and then she goes "I can try but can't promise" !? Hell is that supposed to mean ! Also if I missed out on it ,she asked me on several occasions to become her gf and last night was the time I agreed after which I confronted her about it.
p.s. she is also a weird stalker and we were talking to each other on and off through the last 4-5 months because everytime I got angry and left she would somehow find my new account and blackmail me with all the nudes or texts she had of us. yeah I know that's fucked up and hard to believe as to how can I still run back to the same woman but I don't know really why I do this. But I feel I'm very attracted to her .
Also after the confrontation when she said she can't give me love and affection I told I wanted to leave and so she blocked me which I only found out this morning and boy oh boy how do I tell you I've been missing her whole day but I have no way of texting her as I'm not that good of a stalker like herself.
I just wanted to get this off my chest as it's really taking a toll on me . I'm open to advices , kindly share your opinion as to why this is happening to me and if I should give her another chance if she ever comes back.
TL;DR: got attracted/attached to a married woman who in a way just manipulated and blackmailed me and I being the stupid I am,is still waiting for her.
dabbean: Start smashing that block button everytime she tries to contact you. It's a super toxic relationship and will only leave you in pieces. You deserve better and you're young still. Lots of fish as the saying goes.
DesperateTimes43: thanks buddy , you're right. i gotta take care of myself
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1651159183 | 1651192517 | t3_udxfuh | t5_2to41 | 976 | lollipopfiend123: TIFU by having a cat with the same name as a euphemism for female genitals
TLDR: thought my handyman was talking about sex; he was talking about my cat Taco
I’m a single female homeowner who has very few “handy” skills. I’ve replaced light switches and almost managed to replace a light fixture by myself one time (it was too large and heavy for me to do it by myself) but beyond that I’m pretty helpless. So I was thrilled when I found a really reliable handyman about a year ago. He has a wide range of skills, charges very reasonable prices, and lives nearby. He even works on cars, and over the past year he’s done a couple oil changes as well as a brake job and some other minor repairs.
I developed a crush on him pretty much immediately. He’s funny, smart, cute…and I’ve been single a *long* time and I don’t often find people that make me feel instantly comfortable around them. I kept things completely professional until a few months ago. He cracked a joke about not liking seafood - “I only eat one thing that swims” (see edit) - and for some reason that made me comfortable texting him outside of just times when I needed his help around the house.
We started texting pretty regularly - just casual stuff, memes, the occasional tiktok video. About six weeks ago I worked up the courage to ask him to dinner and he accepted. I didn’t explicitly call it a date, and I was more than happy to consider it a laid back dinner between friends, although I planned to tell him at some point that I was open to calling it a date if that interested him. Well, his day job has an insane schedule and he has yet to find an evening where he’s free for dinner. In the meantime, he’s come over a few times late at night and we have hung out and chatted.
I have two cats. I found one of them outside a Mexican restaurant, so his name is Taco. The other night, he was scratching Taco’s back and he was talking about his strong hands and fingers. To be clear, I did not misinterpret this chatter as being directed towards me in any way. He was clearly talking to the cat. Nonetheless, I’ve had more than a few spicy daydreams about his hands, so hearing those words kinda…got me going.
Last night I decided to go for it. I texted him that I was still thinking about what he said about having strong hands. His initial response was that his right hand was strong and his left hand was more articulate. I’m sure I don’t need to tell at least some of you that that got me going even more. I replied back that if he was trying not to turn me on, it wasn’t working. He didn’t immediately respond, so after a couple minutes I apologized and told him to just forget what I said. He replied that he had been talking to my pussy. Except he uses voice to text, so it was censored as a P followed by 4 asterisks.
My high and horny brain interpreted this as his comments from a few minutes earlier had been directed to my genitals. I was not dissuaded of this notion when he followed up with “let me be accurate - I was talking to your taco.” That “your,” coupled with a lower case T, convinced me that he was talking about me and not my cat. I immediately started telling him how I’d had a crush on him for a while, how I thought he had wanted to kiss me a couple times…I even shared a little erotica scene I’d written a few weeks ago, telling him that he inspired it. (It was maybe 6-7 sentences and not a full on story but it was more than enough.)
Anyway, several minutes passed and he didn’t respond. I decided I should follow up with, “I hope the reason you’re not responding is because you’re jerking off thinking about [an element of the story I sent].” Crickets.
About 20 minutes go by and my brain starts to realize that there was another way to interpret his earlier comments. That he could have been talking about my cat *the entire time*. So I respond again and was like…wait. Were you talking about my cat? Ten excruciating minutes later, he replies. “Omg I just picked up my phone to set the alarm. I was in the garage doing laundry.”
So anyway, pretty sure my only recourse here is to sell my house and move to Greenland.
Edit: it took me FOREVER to figure out why so many of you thought his joke meant he was gay. He is not. The thing that swims is a woman. Not only was that where my brain immediately went when he said it, but also not too long after he made that joke, I came across a tiktok video where someone is showing a pair of panties that has been discolored by vag discharge. The voice over is saying something like “did you know that the ph of a vagina can discolor your clothes?” Then that got stitched by a man who simply showed his gray goatee. Anyway, I sent him that and was like “this is so inappropriate but it reminded me of your joke” and he laughed and said “exactly.”
Edit 2: he finally texted me back a little while ago. “Lolol... worried enough yet....gonna let ya wallow in your misery for awhile..”
And that’s it.
Edit 3: he came over last night, we chatted for a while, got high, and he went home. It was as if the texts never happened, which is fine with me.
pelorizado83: It's not really a fuck up if you had a crush on him! Hahahaha hilarious though! Bad taco... er Taco? Lol
lollipopfiend123: Nah, it’s a fuck up because he isn’t attracted to me lol. Now idk if I can ever look him in the eyes again. A good handyman is a lot harder to find than a good fuck. 😂
pelorizado83: Oh did you get a response after he was done his laundry?! Just pretend like everything is kosher and who knows, maybe he was just surprised, doesn't mean he isn't attracted. Sometimes people need time to process what's going on and realize if they have an attraction or not. A good personality is a lot harder to find than a good fuck also. Play it cool!! Lol
lollipopfiend123: No response at all after he said he was doing laundry. I assume he went to sleep after that (it was midnight). I guess maybe he could have been processing…but the earlier comments about wanting to be clear that he was talking to my cat about his hands and not me lead me to believe that he does not have any feelings towards me.
pelorizado83: That's okay. At least now you think you know. Seems a little cheeky to make those comments though. I would have taken it the same way! Hehe! If he acts differently then it will be a pleasant surprise. You could say next time you see him that you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable, you thought he was being flirty/cheeky. It could break the ice again so you can remain friendly. Good luck! :)
lollipopfiend123: His entire career has been spent working in bars and clubs so I think he just generally skews a little more raunchy in his speech. We are both going to be out of town this weekend but I will try to smooth things over next week. I have a long list of tasks for him! 😂
hidden-in-plainsight: Ah, a list. Yes, from the kama sut... errr... instruction manual for that new shelf.
| 8 | 122 | |
1651159700 | 1651161043 | t3_udxmw2 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Maremike: Tifu used drugs and spent a night in the hospital
Kinda ironic story. I tried cokaine for the first time. Shouldn't have done that. Because I was super active I thought what if I smoke weed? Well 15 minutes after I smoked the weed I start losing consciousness. I was still going home and asked the people sitting there for help. I thought I had a heart attack. Because I started feeling my crazy heart beat in every muscle.
They called an ambulance. I was telling everyone how sorry I am. I didn't think much at the time of taking and this taught me a big lesson.
So now I am lying here and waiting for the effects to end. The nurse asked me "what do you want to drink" I told them "water". When she been pouring some in I asked "do you also have whiskey?" I was laughing like crazy at the time. And she said laughing "you drink?". I was like "no of course not. It's bad for your health". When she wanted to leave, she told me "try to sleep". I told her laughing "Why yes. I will"
My dad knows about this and I repent frustrating everyone. I was curious, but I didn't think of what it will do to me. I am a stupid person, and through this experience I grew as a person. Now I'm even worse lol
Tl;Dr Tried drugs for my first time and it went terribly. I am disappointed in myself and spending a night in the hospital
Successful_Log_5470: I'm Dr. Roxo and I love concaiiiiine!
awayfromhome436: Uhguhguhguhguhguh YEAHYUH
mischivousmic: No, seriously, i do so much cuhcuhcuh yeaaaaaaah
Wise-Working228: Which one of you punks at Dr Roxxo's banana?
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1651162316 | 1651240525 | t3_udymcc | t5_2to41 | 15 | awrfnia: TIFU by buying a minor an alcoholic beverage once and now it feels like I encouraged him to start drinking
I have a group of friends and we’re in between the ages of 25-45, and there’s an 16 year old who hangs out with us. We went out to a bar one day and I thought it would be a good idea to get my 16 year old friend a mojito cause he wanted to try it. We live in a country that has pretty strict rules and I could have gotten into serious trouble if we were caught.
I know, I know… it was an irresponsible thing for me to do.
Fast forward a few weeks, my group of friends and myself got invited to a party where they’ll be serving alcoholic beverages (as you do) and my 16 year old friend is pretty excited to have free flow of drinks. I discussed with my slightly older friend, that we should try to discourage him to drink since there’ll be people we don’t really know, and they might report him to the authorities.
It sucks that I gotta advise this 16 year old kid against something I thought was ok, and I feel like such a buzzkill.
TL;DR bought my 16 year old friend a mojito once, regret it, and now gotta advise him against drinking at parties
Djinn42: >and there’s an 16 year old who hangs out with us.
Why? Doesn't sound like a good idea.
awrfnia: Ok backstory, we all met in an improv crash course and started an improv group together. That’s how we all met. We meet once a week to practise and that’s why he hangs out with us.
Djinn42: This answers HOW you met, not WHY you hang out with him. Of course he wants to hang out with adults, that doesn't mean it's a good idea - as you've found out and the reason for this post. I've met many children - I don't hang out with them.
awrfnia: Well, we want him to feel like he’s part of the team and not make him feel excluded
Djinn42: Then imo it would be more responsible to hang out in places / activities suitable for someone his age rather than somewhere the rest of you can drink alcohol and feel like you need to illegally include him in that also.
awrfnia: Yeah I totally agree. But when the group got invited to a party where drinks are gonna be served, it’s gonna a bit harder. And this is why I posted on TIFU, cause I know I fucked up.
Djinn42: I'm not judging, just making a suggestion 🙂
| 8 | 1.875 | |
1651163971 | 1651198825 | t3_udz8q3 | t5_2to41 | 185 | Environmental_Scar82: TIFU by walking home from the gym
I (F 24) had decided to walk home from the gym today, which usually takes around 25 minutes. When I had around 15 minutes left my belly started hurting and I got hot flashes. I tried to hurry home, but around 3mins later I couldn't take it anymore.
Thankfully, most parks have public toilets where I live, so I rushed across the one that was next to me and stormed inside the stall. It smelled horrible. Public toilets always stink to the high heavens. Despite the smell, I managed to pull my pants of, just in time for some explosive diarrhoea. While most landed in the bowl, a splat landed next to it. I am so sorry about that.
After that first onslaught, I managed to put two or three layers of toilet paper down on the bowl (there are no seats on these disgusting metal bowls, but at least it wasn'ta portable toilet) and sat down in time for the next wave. I continued to sit and stew in both my own and others disgusting stench for a few minutes, as I didn't dare get up.
When I felt ready, I obviously turned around to flush. But... the water came and came and came...and didn't go down again. It was clogged. At that point I remembered seeing toilet paper in the bowl when I had rushed in in but I hadn't thought about it and kinda assumed a child hadn't flushed. Wouldn't have changed my need to use it anyway.
So I left a shitty toilet behind and went home. I am so sorry for whoever has to use the toilet after me. Back home, I made it to the toilet again just in time.
TLDR: I got explosive diarrhoea on the way home and clogged the only public toilet at a children's playground.
usernametry100: At least there wasn't a child in there when you burst in
Environmental_Scar82: I would have shit my pants, would have made for a different kind of story
Banjoplynfrog: That kid would have had quite the story as well!
| 4 | 46.25 | |
1651165508 | 1651195213 | t3_udzuey | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by expecting to be alone with my bf.
[deleted]
Apprehensive-Date799: Sounds hot lol
Sabi0802: Mostly embarrassing tbh
Apprehensive-Date799: So slightly hot? 😂
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1651167749 | 1651176075 | t3_ue0oku | t5_2to41 | 59 | BearS59: TIFU by getting a puppy
Technically it was Yesterday but onto the events.
Yesterday I (23m) brought home a Goldendoodle puppy, he's 9 weeks old, almost potty trained but is teething a lot. I have trained dogs my whole life and have had no problems with it, my fiancee (23f) however does have problems. She has never had to really care for a dog before, just lived with them. Her dad trained their dogs and cared for them and all she had to do was enjoy their company. Well she tried to take care of him this morning while I was at work (we live in small town america so I walk 5 min down main street to my office).
She called me about 3 hours after my leaving, sobbing because she "couldn't handle" the puppy. She was a mess and was telling me to just take him to work with me, so I did. Just the other day she was saying how she wanted kids, I told her before I left that "you want kids, and if you think this is hard maybe reconsider having kids". I know I shouldn't have said that but it's the reality of the situation that raising anything is hard! She sent me 7 texts and I have not looked at any of them. Probably gonna die to her tonight when I come home from work. If it turns into a "dog goes or I go" situation I think I'm gonna be the one to go. Iykwim
If this works in a different subreddit better let me know. I don't normally post on Reddit so I have no idea.
TL:DR
I got a new puppy and my Fiancee can't handle the puppy phase. Told her kids would be worse. She's not happy.
Update: I wanted to thank most y'all for comments. I know I wasn't very active with your comments/replys or whatever reddit calls them. She and I had a good long talk and walk with our puppy (Who's name is Pippin btw) . We both apologized for the things we said and choice words. She is scared and overwhelmed because she's never had to train a dog where as I grew up training Aussies. We're gonna start working on things together and hopefully, things will start looking up. Thank the gods it didn't turn into a "Dog or me" situation and turned out to be a "let's work through this as a family" thing. Thank you everyone <3
Because_I_Cannot: As a father of 3 kids, and owner of dogs, kids are easier to care for and train. That was a dick thing to say
nurseryspatula: You're not wrong, I have two toddlers and a husky. The husky was so much more work as a puppy than either of the kids were as babies.
Because_I_Cannot: lol, all the people with dogs but no kids downvoting this sentiment
| 4 | 14.75 | |
1651170027 | 1651175819 | t3_ue1jua | t5_2to41 | 12 | ramennoodles10123: TIFU By Telling An Exchange Student She Had Sparkly Fingers.
So a really cute American exchange student came to my school yesterday to shadow me in my classes, (she is studying in my country this year at an immersion school for Americans). She had really pretty shiny green nails, and I wanted to compliment her on them. However, I was very tired and also flustered because she was beautiful so what did I say? "I like your fingers, they're really sparkly". She then gave me a bit of a pity laugh. I have since realized a few problems with my statement. 1. the word is NAILS. 2. Sparkly does not = shiny. I went to her school today. She told what I said yesterday to her friends at lunch. They all laughed and I am afraid she thinks that I am dumb. I swear to god I am fluent in English I just break down in front of hot people. Anyways, that's it I just had to get that off my chest.
**TL;DR: I told a pretty exchange student that she had sparkly fingers because I'm an idiot who can't speak English.**
JoshyTheLlamazing: Just be honest my friend. If her nails are on point, say, "Your nails are on point." Or if you really wanna hit her with some swag just say, "You're rockin the polish!" It might throw her off for a second, but it gives you a second to rebound the jump shot. Girls like the Big Energy bro.
ramennoodles10123: rockin' the polish I like that! Thanks for the advice
JoshyTheLlamazing: No problem. If she gets confused just come back with, "Oh! Your nails look really nice." Of course that works too from the onset.
| 4 | 3 | |
1651169928 | 1651173849 | t3_ue1ifz | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by stressing the hell out of my boyfriend
[deleted]
labordayillinois: Unless there was a deposit, why not just have it somewhere else. Assuming the people are important to him, an important venue is not nearly as important guests.
Also, why would you tell them that? You basically said “he doesn’t think highly of 15 of you, so those 15 wouldn’t have been invited.” But you end up making most of the 30 feel uncomfortable because they don’t know who made the cut and now they’re wondering haha
Stoffi_wildcat: So he just decided not have as big of a party also the reason why i told them was because he panicked and I wanted them to blame me if they blamed anyone ah idk:(( (the group that we gathered is of five i should have mentioned it)
labordayillinois: I get it. You were kind of in a bad spot, but I’m sure it’s sucks to get disinvited to a party. Maybe you can also do a small thing with a big guest list. Like a large but chill hang out session
| 4 | 3 | |
1651173352 | 1651187693 | t3_ue2smw | t5_2to41 | 117 | i_am_mrs_nezbit: TIFU by emptying my bong on vacation
So this happened back in 2013. This is going to be a short and kind of uneventful fuck up, but nevertheless a fuck up. You’ll see.
Picture it, Old Forge NY 2013. The sun was setting, the air was crisp and the day was settling down to a cozy end. Me and my friend pack a nice little bong to enjoy the rest of our day. We go onto the balcony of our cute little hotel (2nd floor) and proceed to smoke and relax. I take the last hit and tell my friend I’ll take care of the bong. I then take it and dump it over the balcony. No big deal right?
Next thing I know, I hear a child’s voice go “Grandma, why is it raining? I’m wet.”
We then got so quiet a pin could drop. We hear talking below us and eventually sneak our way back into the hotel room as quietly as possible. What proceeded was nothing thank god.
How we didn’t get in trouble I’ll never know.
Small child, if you’re out there I’m so sorry. I hope your grandma got the smell out.
TL;DR dumped a bong off a balcony and the water landed on a child. Nothing happened, but it still sucked.
alyosha_pls: ...why would you just pour it off the balcony instead of like the toilet or a sink or something...
i_am_mrs_nezbit: Cuz I’m a dumb dumb
alyosha_pls: unforgiveable!
i_am_mrs_nezbit: Inconceivable!
Cliche-_-loverboy: DIABOLICAL!
| 6 | 19.5 | |
1651176048 | 1651193379 | t3_ue3slu | t5_2to41 | 2,344 | justREALIZEDimUGLY: TIFU by realizing I'm ugly.
[removed]
prettylittl: This broke my heart a little! You're only 16 - you have so much more growing to do. Just yesterday friends and I (age 25- 26) were talking about a classmate that has COMPLETELY transformed since high school, and so many people do. Especially men, who I'm pretty sure continue growing and maturing later into their 20s than women. Be kind to yourself, tell yourself positive things when you look in the mirror (even if you don't believe them), and know that high school/age 16 is not even close to how you'll feel forever. Best wishes!
Edit: My first big comment and my first awards - I totally did not expect this! Thanks, all! Saw OP's post was deleted but hope he feels the good vibes from everyone.
geoff04: Yeah exactly. I remember asking a girl out in high school and she reacted with "ew gross". Met her a few years later in university and she started hitting on me without even realizing I was mr."ew gross".
Take this oppertunity as the ugly kid to work on your personality/humour and everything else, if you grow into your body on top of that you'll be a complete catch. And even if you don't at least you'll have a great personality.
bugnutzz: Would’ve been great if you responded to her with “Ew gross!”
MeMakinMoves: This is not the way
LeapingCannon: I am petty, and yea it is
| 6 | 390.666667 | |
1651177636 | 1651179495 | t3_ue4dj7 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting spicy noodle juice in my eye.
[deleted]
WhisperedEchoes85: You didn't have any milk on hand?
ThickAnywhere4686: ...to put in my eye?
WhisperedEchoes85: Absolutely. It's what people commonly use to alleviate the burn from pepper spray.
ThickAnywhere4686: Woah I never knew that lol, will definitely try next time.
Hopefully it won't happen again though cause that shirt hurt so bad.
WhisperedEchoes85: Well here's hoping there isn't a next time! lol
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1651177747 | 1651203521 | t3_ue4ezp | t5_2to41 | 328 | Coolman38321: TIFU by trying to create a dildos of my dick
Welp there goes $44
So I went ahead and bought a Clone a Willy for shits and giggles since I had some money to spare. So I got it for 44 bucks and it arrived today.
First mistake.
This is the kind of thing that you should have a partner for, as that are multiple steps that need to be done. If you are guy like me, who is going through a dry spell, then its gonna be hard (*heh*) by the time you're ready to stick your dick in.
So there I was, trying to get everything ready while also trying to be aroused.
Then my second mistake happen,
You see in my reckless pursue of knowledge, I had cut the tube that I would use in way that left some jagged edges that would surely hurt if I wasn't careful. But I thought I could handle it since I'll be sticking my rod into the center of the tube and the mold would protect me from the edge, leaving only my fad pad to get hit.
So I got done mixing and being aroused, and I rushed into my shower in case of a mess. I aimed and thrusted into the mold; ready to make a dildo.
Third mistake.
I. DID. NOT. aim well.
So instead of my stick hitting the center it hit upwards (I should've taken into account that my trunk curves up). So what happened instead was that the mold was pushed under and squashed against the tube. Remember the edges? Well it ended up brushing against the top of my dick, which understandably, did not feel good.
In the end, I ended up with half of my dick being made, and my dick in question looking like I dipped into some of Randy's Tegridy Christmas Special.
So I threw it away, and started up the shower to wash the gunk off...
And then I noticed that the water was rising in my tub.
Fourth and final mistake,
In my haste, I failed to notice that some of the mold fell into the tub (Well I did notice, but my mind was focused on cleaning my special buddy) and and ended up going into the drain and then hardened.
So I had to clean my drain or risk pissing off plumber that my apartment has employed.
This all took place within 40 minutes.
So yeah, if you want to learn from my mistake, then make sure that: you have a loving partner that will help you in your endeavors, make sure you are fully prepared, be sure to aim well, and finally... Have some goddamn TEGRIDY.
TLDR; didn’t have Tegridy and ended up a half completed mold of my buddy while also creating a huge mess
Scamperillium: Were... you going to fuck yourself, with yourself?
Coolman38321: No of course not. It was out morbid curiosity more than anything… that and I was bored
Scamperillium: Ah okay, was just wondering because it kind of read like that
Coolman38321: Understandable, tho I did say it say it was for shits and giggles lol
Scamperillium: There you go again with that wording. Are you Tobias from Arrested Development? Lol
Coolman38321: Well honestly think of myself as someone from Archer…
“PHRASING!”
Scamperillium: Been a few years since I've watched archer but Krueger?
Coolman38321: Archer says it mostly. But I’m not narcissistic, so maybe I’m like Cyril, tho I definitely have more of a backbone
Scamperillium: Oh yea you're right with Archer saying that. I haven't watched it in like 4 years lol, nothing against it. Just watched all the episodes and then didn't when more came out, I got the Archer Cookbook though, its mainly cocktail recipes
| 10 | 32.8 | |
1651177134 | 1651209079 | t3_ue4700 | t5_2to41 | 46 | Mrs-B-: TIFU by throwing my phone in my husbands face
This happend about a month ago..
So some background story: when I was living with my then boyfriend, now husband, in our 1 bedroom apartment. I was home alone and I heard a lot of noice in the staircase. I thought my neighbors where moving something in or out and I got annoyed. So I went to the door and I opend it a little frustrated. It wasn't one of my neighbors, it was someone trying to break in. And the guy immediately ran downstairs and got away. It scared the shit out of me. So I got a little traumatized. I am also hard of hearing.
So about a month ago, I was home alone in our new house. And he went out for something. I don't remember for what. But I was on the second floor, facetiming my cousin in Germany (we live in the Netherlands). My husband got home, I didn't hear him coming in. He also got up the stairs and I didn't hear that either.. Suddenly I see him in front of me as I turned over. Needless to say, he scared the shit out of me.. So my reaction was to throw my phone right in his face from only a 2 meter distance. It hurt soo bad and I felt so bad and I still feel bad when I think about it. I just remembered it and I thought I should share it with you, because it is quite funny if you think about it!
TL;DR: my husband got home, I didn't hear him, he startled me and I threw my phone in his face
DanP5356: His reaction i think:"SCHEIẞE"
Gieselbrecht: Nah they live in NL, op's cousin lives in Germany
Azryhael: Yeah, but I don’t know the Dutch word for shit.
Mrs-B-: Haha we just say shit because it's poep (pronunced poop) in Dutch and that's just weird
| 5 | 9.2 | |
1651179444 | 1651250761 | t3_ue51sx | t5_2to41 | 26 | BlueBaker01: TIFU by having a meltdown in my sociology class.
TLDR: I made a scene in my sociology class by having an emotional moment that I didn't realize everyone was paying attention to.
So I (20F) am in college. This past semester has been hell on wheels for me. Shortly before Christmas break, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and I spent the first month and a half of the spring semester going through the five stages of grief, which my ex was being very rude about, but that's a different rant for a different time. There was also some emotional bullshit that happened between me and a few people I was close to, but have now kind of distanced myself from, one of which is in my sociology class.
Now I love my sociology class. I enjoy it. I think it's a pretty fun class and I love my professor to pieces. Unfortunately, I was not having a lot of fun one day in class. I should start by saying I'm a chronic overthinker with abandonment issues and I'm extremely insecure. I was already having a pretty rough day. I was super stressed out about a lot of shit going on. During class, I get this text from one of my friends. I won't say what the text said, but it came off as rude to me. I most likely overanalyzed it to the point where I saw it as mean and condescending, but I digress. This text was the tipping point for me that day. It was what set me tf off.
I'm sitting in my seat, actively trying to hold back tears. Normally I wouldn't cry over something as dumb as a text message, but today I was having none of it. My friend leans over to me and asks if I'm okay. Without saying a word, I aggressively get up, yank my keys which got caught on the chair (of course), storm out of the room, and slam the door behind me. I did not realize I had slammed the door. I run to the bathroom, have a little crying sesh (and I mean ugly sobbing) and come back to class some 5 minutes later. I walk in and the entire class, including the professor, my friend, and my CRUSH (who for some reason stopped showing up to class after this), is staring at me, wondering what in the everloving fuck is going on. I sit back down, still with tears in my eyes. Professor pauses mid-discussion, looks at me, and in front of the whole class goes "Are you okay? You don't look like you're okay." I wasn't, but I didn't want to further cause any distractions so I, with an obvious catch in my voice and tears coming out of my eyes, go "I'm fine." She asked if I was sure maybe 3 times and each time I told her I was fine I could hear my voice getting the tiniest bit more aggressive.
So now I'm known in that class as the girl who had a moment. It wasn't funny at the time, but I can look back on it and laugh about it now because the struggle was very real.
[deleted]: You’ll likely never see any of those people again if you’re at a decent sized school. Either way, you’re likely making it a bigger deal in your mind than other people saw it as. Life will go on…you’ll have much, much worse days.
Zefram71: >you’ll have much, much worse days.
Oof, not helpful, me thinks😥
[deleted]: Probably more helpful than anything else she’s going to be told.
Zefram71: So don't say it. Try to not be a jackass.
[deleted]: Why would I not tell her useful advice in preparation for life? Who are you, the gatekeeper of Reddit advice?
Zefram71: LOL Yes. Yes I am😋
| 7 | 3.714286 | |
1651180521 | 1651235394 | t3_ue5gzo | t5_2to41 | 1,307 | nyx_evanesca: TIFU by thinking I was becoming confident but realizing I became entitled, instead
Background: Growing up, I was timid and people, therefore, felt they could walk all over me. I've spent years working on becoming more confident and standing up for myself.
Somewhat relevant background: A couple of days ago, I was scrolling through social media, as you do. I read someone's post complaining they weren't allowed into an airline lounge. The person went on to clearly explain that they did not meet the criteria for lounge access because they were flying with another carrier, but they expected to be let in because they spent lots of money with the lounge airline. I wasn't close to this person and promptly unfollowed them because I thought their post demonstrated an unwarranted sense of entitlement.
Fast forward to today. I was meeting up with a friend for a drink at a local chain. I arrived early, and since it was surprisingly cold outside and the place was full, I thought I would be allowed to sit in an apartment lobby connected to the shop (large lobby with 10+ seating areas for residents or their guests). NB: This building was owned by a management company, and I live in an affiliated apartment complex owned by the same management company. So there I am, walking into the lobby, and the person at the concierge desk stops me. \*surprised Pikachu face\* They tell me it's against their policy to allow non-residents to use their lobby. Years ago, I would have said "OK" and immediately walked out. Today, I instead explain that I live in an affiliated building and I've seen people in my exact scenario allowed to sit in my building's lobby. The concierge person holds firm, saying it's against policy. I start getting frustrated and start to push back only to realize they're just doing their job. Turns out, I'm no better than the overly entitled people I try to remove from my life.
From Mirriam-Webster:
* Confidence (n): *faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way*
* Entitlement (n): *belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges*
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Apologies if this wasn't as entertaining as some of the other stories on here, or as big a fu, but it definitely shattered the confident persona I had built for myself.
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TL;DR - Was timid. Thought I was becoming more confident. Realized I became entitled, instead. Now second-guessing my right to every one of my thoughts.
Burmina: This isn't a TIFU, this is called personal growth. You're well on your way to figuring the line, just as most of us have to do. Not only that, you could be the most self aware person in the world and still have a bad day.
Ok, sure, if you're looking to self flog, it was a moment of a-holery. But you recognized what was going on, and moved on with your day.
VincentVancalbergh: I thought that was the point of TIFU? You make a mistake. You recognize the mistake. You share the mistake with everyone. The (minor) shame of confessing helps you remember. We all (hopefully) learn not to do what OP did. Growth!
Qyro: You don’t reach personal growth without a few fuck ups on the way.
5thhorseman_: Maxim 70: Failure is mandatory. The only choice is whether to let it be the last thing you do.
| 5 | 261.4 | |
1651181308 | 1651184434 | t3_ue5rit | t5_2to41 | 11 | staande: TIFU thinking I Amber Heard the bed
Not really a FU but gave myself quite a scare this morning.
I was still chilling in my bed this morning while my GF was getting ready for work, when I felt a small, lumpy object, uncomfortably situated right at the start of my "gluteal cleft". When I reached for it, I immediately noticed the consistency: somewhat firm, but not unyielding...
A bit of relevant backstory, I suffer from a chronic bowl inflammation. Now, generally i don't have any incontinence issues. Only sometimes, during flare-ups, is when I have to make a sudden run for the toilet several times a day (or comical butt-clenched waggle, as the case may be). I have shat my pants on a rare occasion during a heavy flare-up, but I've never shat myself while asleep, fortunately.
That, and having only mild symptoms for a while now, is why I'd regained the confidence to not bother with underwear at night and sleep nude as the day I entered this world.
That confidence was instantly shattered after I fished the lump from between my back and the mattress and out from under the blankets. I beheld a small brown nugget, that looked like, and felt like, *exactly* what I imagine a turd somewhat dried, somewhat squashed from being tossed and turned on for half a night, would look and feel like.
In a state of shock, I gingerly proceeded to test its smell. (To anyone shaking their heads now, thinking "why would you?" I say, you know in your hearts that you would *have* to smell!)
But it didn't smell like shit or anything.
What could this mean?
*Wait, maybe it's because the shit is already kind of dried out, and it's lost most of the smell already? Plus, you probably didn't really take a good enough whiff to tell,* went the little me-in-my-head. *Now, crush it between your fingers! Just do it! You're already in unknown territory here, so no point in having reservations!*
I gently crushed the little brown bolus, and found...
A single, intact peanut.
It took another full second before the recognition came to me. I was holding a regular chocolate covered peanut! The kind my GF loves, and had to have been snacking on the night before.
My hands, my body, my bed were clean after all! (Well, sorta, apart from a few chocolate smudges) And, most importantly, my dignity was intact!
I had a good, cathartic laugh at my needless worry. And then the both of us when I told my GF.
tl;dr Thought I made a poop in bed, but it was just my GF's chocolate candy (not poop).
Severe-Lengthiness11: Tell me you didnt eat it.
NothingMuch12: Tell me you ate it.
dragthewaters76: Tell us you ate it without telling us you ate it
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1651181828 | 1658961370 | t3_ue5yk7 | t5_2to41 | 113 | Historical-Border-83: TIFU by loosing my virginity using Aloe Vera as lube .
So I'll start by giving some context, I live in a conservative country (where english isn't native so forgive my english) having sex while living with your parents is very hard, especially for me as my grandma lives with my family and stays at home all the time and add to that my neighbors will rat me out so sneaking my gf is next to impossible.
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I (18M) go to college from my house everyday, my gf (18F) lets call her Z, is doing the same UG as me but she live in Dorms so sneaking out is very easy for her. Last week my parents, grandma planned a 2 day vacation along with our next door. I told Z about this and we both agreed it was perfect opportunity for some fun time. So bought condoms the day before tried them on.
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So the day arrives ( day before yesterday) my parents, grandma, neighbors finally leave. She's with me on my bed and about to have sex. I put on the condom but it seems like there is too much traction she asks do I have ? so I bring body moisturizer which I use for masturbation. She looks up on the internet and tells me it can't be used, so I suggest Vaseline which again isn't suitable either. I was fucking disappointed, so I searched for alternatives to lube. That's when I find out **Aloe Vera** can be used a lube, I have a few plants at home and my mon uses it for her skin. I show her the article and she's ready to use it. I cut a leaf, take a knife and get the gel out. We use it as gel and sex was great , well it dried up faster than we wanted but there was ample supply. It was great time for me and she looked really happy too. We sleep together and go for another round in the morning( using aloe Vera ). She really seemed to be in it from what I could see as she was the one who initiated the second time. We both go to college and then later that evening she tells me she's breaking up with me , how she felt dirty using a plant for sex and feels like a slut . According to her it was my fault. She suggested we both focus on our career for the time being.
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TL;DR- Used aloe vera as lube in the heat of the moment , lost my girlfriend of 4 months
writenfight: The old chinese proverb- Fuck with leaves.. Girlfriend leaves.
AyyLmaoAV: Is this a joke?
| 3 | 37.666667 | |
1651184597 | 1651185854 | t3_ue6xva | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by not using protection during sex
[deleted]
Filthy_Kate: You couldn’t get it in because she wasn’t ready yet. It was unenjoyable for her too. Don’t rush the foreplay bro.
prettyupsidedown: “Too tight” girl was probably dry bc he skipped foreplay lmaooo
sf1612: We definitely should have taken our time with it but thing is we had booked a hotel room for an hour and we didn't want to get in trouble.
prettyupsidedown: How do you get a hotel at 17? Do you live in America bc I wasn’t able to book hotels until I was 18 in America lol
sf1612: No lol i'm from Albania
prettyupsidedown: Damn no wonder lmao
| 7 | 4.285714 | |
1651189310 | 1651254141 | t3_ue8ib7 | t5_2to41 | 12,410 | Darkfury44: TIFU Left my GF after she came out as Asexual
Hi there.
We are m 28 and f 31.
So our story starts when we met back in december 2012. She was head over heels for me, but at the time I had no interest. After a while our friendship grew and we came to an agreement to be friends with benefits. An amazing time where the sex was overflowing an plentyfull. After a while i cane to terms with what I wanted and I was convinced to pursue a relationship. We soon after started living together
Now the sex itself hasnt ever been an issue up untill now...however there was always the problem that I was hyper sexual wanting to have it more than once a week, but she didnt. I would always have to nag or try my utter most best. So as an agreement we said lets do it just once a week.. I was okay with that since the sex was beyond amazing. After a few years it no longer became once a week, sometimes nothing for a month. That made me very frustrated so we made the agreement that instead of once a week it would be once in every other week.. I was still okay with that.
Our relationship hasnt always been the best. Because she has several personal issues we are almost always at home and dont do anything ( she is too scared to do anything), We both no longer have friends and we both dont want anything to do with our families. So we only ever have each other
Now 9 years, almost 10 years later she is convinced that she is asexual and no longer wants me to touch her nor ever have sex again. This hit like a beast of a truck... According to her she never felt the need for sex nor did she always enjoy it. She doesnt feel anything from penetration and has difficulties reaching an orgasm. However over the years we found out what works for her and i thought she was okay with our sexlife. She always thought ahe had a low libido, but appearantly she started reading about asexuality and is now 100% convinced she is and never wants anything to do with Intimacy or anything else.
I grabbed my dog and essential stuff and i left. i am now sitting at my parents regretting my decision.
[EDIT]. well that blew up abit overnight. I will try my best to read and respond to your comments.
A few different notes: she has depression, always had so i knew what i was going for. She has anxienty and panick attacks, thats why we dont do much. In 2018 she was diagnosed with autism, after she started understanding that more our relationship became better at first but the more she reads the more she thinks she wont ever be able to have a somewhat normal life again. We talk with her counseler regularly.
[Edit 2] with hypersexual i meant that if it were up to me id want it everyday twice a day but i found i could be satisfied with once a week aswell even though even that is difficult.
[Edit 3] Thanks for all the nice comments, the advice, even the harsher once! It has made my day and I thank all of you.
A few extra notes. No she doesn't use any meds. Open relationship is not an option. She only uses BC out of fear to get pregnant (luckily we both dont want kids). She has been depressed ever since i know her and she has sought out help but according to her nothing works and there is no solution for her, therefore she has no use for life or anyone has use of her. She is in a very dark place and thats also one of the reasons why i stayed with her for so long.
TL;DR I fucked up by leaving my girlfriend after 9 years, losing the love of my life because she came out as asexual and not wanting to be touched or have sex ever again.
Nomorehate2022: She was cheating on you bro. You just described a decade of systematic abuse isolating you from any friends and family...
asexual is not a real thing. She is not an amoeba
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: > asexual is not a real thing
very embarrassing post
Nomorehate2022: Y
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: because asexuality is a real thing, plus you tried to claim a woman can cheat despite never talking to anyone or leaving the house
Nomorehate2022: She still works and stuff. Op said they dont go anywhere together. This is definitely tell tale abusive cheater signs.
If op were a stalker there would be a follow up post about how she is banging someone in a few months.
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: have you been cheated on
Nomorehate2022: No. But I have been the cheater enough to spot one.
It kind of sounds like your partner may be engaging in similar behaviors. You are quite emotionally invested
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: You do sound like someone who's had an unfortunate history with cheating. I've never cheated but I have been cheated on myself, and your posts remind me of how I thought afterwards. Worrying every little sign meant cheating. In reality, while it's technically possible she's cheating, there's nothing which indicates that's what's happening. It's more plausible she's just in a horrible mental state.
>It kind of sounds like your partner may be engaging in similar behaviors. You are quite emotionally invested
What? I don't even have like a fixed partner rn, shit's complex. Why do redditors do this kind of thing.
Nomorehate2022: Ah, that explains why you are so defensive. Im just saying that I have used the old "i just dont like sex that much/im asexual" playbook myself to end a relationship I messed up.
Literally his entire post explaining their relationship was a series of red flags. I would be surprised if it did not begin when she started isolating him from his friends/family
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: Their relationship is indeed a whole list of red flags, but I don't think you should assume the problem was cheating just because you've used a similar excuse before.
Nomorehate2022: It is really not much of an assumption to make. Op laid it all out there. It is not just me, we have been using that card probably for as long as humans lived together in caves.
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: I mean...she's apparently too scared to go out and do anything. I don't think it's likely she's cheating.
Nomorehate2022: Well, you believe what you want. I can see you are very emotionally invested in convincing me but from that op posted its pretty obvious.
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: It comes across the other way around to me. I don't see any hints that she cheated at all.
Nomorehate2022: Of course it does.
Shanghai-on-the-Sea: like where
Nomorehate2022: Everywhere
| 18 | 689.444444 | |
1651190013 | 1651192551 | t3_ue8qbo | t5_2to41 | 18 | AngryAlbanian123: TIFU caught getting head
[removed]
Scarboroughwarning: At least it wasn't her father.... That "may" have occurred to me...
AngryAlbanian123: Now that is something you never recover from literally lol
Scarboroughwarning: I think we got away with it that time. . Just remembered another occasion, with the same girl. Oh, and one where we had gone beyond that.
I'm likely being a little more open than I prefer... So I'll spare you the details.
AngryAlbanian123: That same girl kissed me in front of her neighborhood and i could feel glares towards me,i literally disappeared from there never to be seen again
Scarboroughwarning: Honestly, the lady in my story was something else. I have so many stories.
| 6 | 3 | |
1651192042 | 1651193253 | t3_ue9d67 | t5_2to41 | 80 | Deadmemories8683: TIFU By letting my wife trim my eyebrows
This happened a few days ago and I’m still salty and pissed off about it.
My wife usually plucks under my eyebrows to “clean them up” as she stated. She’s been doing it for almost 20 years that we’ve been together. She’s only messed up once in our marriage and it was literally the night before I flew to Iraq for my deployment.
I recently bought her this high end trimmer and accessories, so she asked if she could clean up my eyebrows using the new device. I said she could because at this point it had been 16 years since those god awful McDonald’s arch’s she gave me before going to a warzone. I made a joke and said “be easy, don’t give me those eyebrows from 2006!” She smiled and began going to town on my eyebrows.
She says she’s done and I get up out of the chair and her mouth is open with her hands covering it. I didn’t even have to look and I knew what happened. I looked in the mirror and was livid! I looked like that girl on YouTube who gave herself the “Mona Lisa eyebrows of success”! Thankfully I work remote, but she had to pencil in my eyebrows until they started growing back. I think we will stick to the old fashion plucking next time.
TL;DR I let my wife clean up my eyebrows with a new trimmer and she gave me McDonalds golden arch eyebrows with how thin and high they were
barkatthemoon89: I'm sorry I laughed at this lol
TokeToday: I'm not! Lmao
barkatthemoon89: I mean I can understand the initial being pissed, but it still makes me giggle. Rip to your eye brows 😁
Deadmemories8683: Lol tell me about it
barkatthemoon89: I think it's a lesson learned. It sounds like something I'd do to someone if I did their brows haha
| 6 | 13.333333 | |
1651193242 | 1651216879 | t3_ue9qqa | t5_2to41 | 49 | Brodo12: TIFU by signing a contract with my wife to build a house
So long story short:
TIFU by signing a contract with a house building company. I own a property, it is ready to be built on. We still got stuff to do like preparing the property (ground, we gotta demolish an old garage,...) but we just couldnt really wait.
Here in germany prices are getting higher and higher and we just said F. it lets do it now or never. We went with the company who built our parents house.
Now I am just kind of scared because of the incoming debt, the work load for the property. We got many trees on the property that are on the spot we want the house, we have an old garage on it that needs to get empty and demolished,....
I dunno I hope this wasn't a huge mistake but according to people in the internet: "never build now, wait a few years til you build". Dunno. Maybe we should have waited. I hope this ride is going well.
TL:DRSigned a contract to build a house. Very expensive in the worst times ever because we couldn't wait and now I am scared of future.
The more I read on internet the more bad I feel. So many people saying building is way to expensive now and will drop so hard in 2-3 years. Well dunno.
kezzarla: Are you building a house or a home?
Brodo12: Hi, I am building a house with a company in germany that does it since over 50 years.
So the company is no NoName brand, our parents built with them.
It will be a family house with 147m²
Checkmate1win: His point is, if you're building a home (not just a house) you will live there for a long time and it doesn't matter that the value drops hard after 2-3 years, because you'll be there for 30 and the drop will be a tiny blip on the radar.
Brodo12: Ah a home for my family lol. So we are building ourselves a home to stay for the next 30+ years : )
purple_pixie: Then as people have said, all you stand to lose is a bit of money.
Presuming you can afford it (even if you'd rather pay less) you're going to end up with a home for your family and everything will be good :)
| 6 | 8.166667 | |
1651194814 | 1651195576 | t3_uea8s5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | weilandfan: TIFU By Ruining a Kids Wood Shop Project.
So a couple of days ago my woodshop teacher assigned us a project where we have to use everything we learned for the past semester to make something that will be useful in our household. When we started the project I didn’t do any woodwork for a period. (so I could design my wood project) Next Wood Shop class rolls around and I finally want to start cutting the pieces for my project. When I was looking at all these different types of wood I stumbled upon a pile sitting in the wide open with no name on it. The pile had some beautiful wood so I took some. Over the next 2 periods, I continued to use the wood. Fast forward to today, 2 days after I found that nice woodpile that was mysteriously cut in different widths but equal thicknesses the teacher told me that I had cut every piece of wood a kid had been gathering for 1 and a half weeks. The worst part about it is that I'm making a trash can... Yay me.
(To be honest I don't really thing im wrong because all the wood was out in the open with no name. And the wood-shop teacher usually cuts pieces for us to use a Also, there’s cages upstairs so you can store your wood and projects so they don’t get stolen.)
TL;DR
I ruined a kids wood shop project by using all of the wood gathered over the span of a week and a half to make a trash can.
Deerkiller14: I messed up on a wood project in high school and needed a longer board to cut. There was a kid that had the perfect piece so I took it, sanded where his name was written, cut it to what I needed. The next day he complains to the wood teacher he’s missing a board. The teacher ended up gluing some pieces together for him and his project still turned out great! I was an ass though looking back. 😂
weilandfan: That's funny 😂 i just wanted to clarify that it was a whole pile, all the wood was perfect. And i took all of it.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1651196783 | 1651197345 | t3_ueavn4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU for honking the horn at a madman
[deleted]
epeets: What a fucking dick. Did you get his license plate so you can at least file a police report and work with your insurance?
Zuk0vsky: No, man; I was too perturbed. I tried but I couldn't memorize his license plate.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1651197411 | 1651198463 | t3_ueb2xj | t5_2to41 | 72 | harleyb654: TIFU by getting kicked out of a threesome with my dream girl
*throwaway because I don’t want my regular account to be associated with this story.
So me (Caleb 22m) and my best friend (Patrick 22m), have an interesting situation with our friend (Lilly, 22f). Basically, we all fuck lol. Well, her and Patrick; and her and I; and an occasional threesome.
A little context, I had a huge crush on Lilly when she was first introduced to our friend group. She’s smart, funny, deep, interesting, gets along with literally everyone, and just so naturally beautiful. We confided in each other in really vulnerable moments, but she had a boyfriend. When they broke up, we immediately started hooking up. The sexual tension was insane and I was falling for her more and more every time we hung out. But she was not ready for another relationship and we stopped having sex, as she knew how I felt and didn’t want to lead me on. We didn’t see each other for awhile, my feelings faded, and fast forward to now, we all have this interesting arrangement I described above.
So last night, Patrick, Lilly and I are having a drunken threesome. It’s going good until she asks me for anal. I say no because I’m just not into that (I know, I know). But Patrick says “what, you’re down for anal?” And I’m like “she didn’t offer it to you” (she’s more comfortable with me because of our history which is why she asked me… she had asked multiple times prior). To my surprise, she takes him up on it. So I’m at her head, and he’s you know, back there. And things start getting weird…
She stops giving me head and I can just see how good they both feel (sorry if this is tmi). They’ve forgotten I’m even there. Patrick’s voice snaps me out of my daze and he asks me to leave. I’m shocked, but uncomfortable, so I get up and go. I’m not even off the bed and they’re…. REALLY feeling each other. He’s never done anal before but has always wanted to, and she’s been begging me so I know how badly she wanted it. The tension between them was insane.
Look, I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this situation. And it’s not a new thing, we’ve been doing it for months — normally it’s totally fine. But just seeing how much pleasure he was able to give her, that I denied her of. I am such an idiot.
I guess my issue is that he knew how I felt about her, and asked me to leave during a threesome. I mean, I obviously still have feelings for the girl of my dreams who I’ve been having casual sex with for months. I just thought I had it more under control— apparently I don’t. I can’t believe I said no to that girl. I fucked up.
She apologized right after, she just got too into it. But he has not even acknowledged it.
TL;DR: tifu and got kicked out of a threesome when I said no to doing anal with the girl of my dreams, resulting in my best friend taking care of her needs right in front of me.
Ashendaiz: You didn't fuck up, you clearly have too many feelings for her to be involved in threesomes. You are always going to be jealous and feel some sort of resentment when playing said games.
Honestly I'd leave the two of them to it and go find yourself a girl that's interested in fucking you and no-one else, and vice versa.
You're only setting yourself up for a world of hurt by continuing the threesomes.
harleyb654: You’re right, thank you for your perspective! Much appreciated.
Ashendaiz: Np.
You're worth more than how you are treating yourself by continuing these activities. Honestly mate, you find the right girl and there will be no way you'd even be interested in these games
| 4 | 18 | |
1651198954 | 1651284043 | t3_uebl6m | t5_2to41 | 295 | CanadianWeeb5: TIFU by accidentally drinking coffee thinner
Earlier today, I had woken up late again on a school day. I went downstairs to go eat my breakfast, which was a bagel with cheese. I decided to go get a drink to go with my bagel because of my anti-sad pills.
When I opened up the fridge, I noticed a bottle that looked to be some sort of almond milk cappuccino drink. I opened the bottle and poured it into a cup to drink my anti-sad pills with. The drink was really good.
When I went to school tho, my stomach started to ache. This was not good, since my school has strict covid laws, and stomach ache was a symptom.
It was so bad I couldn’t do my work and got mad at the supply teacher for not listening to my concerns that it wasn’t covid. Eventually, I felt the need to go to the bathroom badly and I rushed into it. I had explosive diarrhea and yeah.
When I had gotten home, my mom told m that what I drank wasn’t actually a cappuccino, but coffee thinner. After that I had explosive diarrhea again.
Then I felt really bad and cried my head off to sad Taylor swift songs.
TL;DR: accidentally drank poisonous coffee substrate and cried to Taylor swift songs.
limblessbarbie: Wtf is coffee thinner?
Sparkmoon713: A solvent used to clean cappuccino machines. 🤢
mrsc1880: OP said in a comment that it was coffee creamer. So it turns out, it wasn't really gross at all!
ninteen74: Or poisonous
insert_rad_name_here: Yeah it was literally just delicious drink and op happened to have diarrhea coincidentally... Honestly most of Starbucks coffee is creamer
Reewoo1974: Op is probably lactose intolerant, they said it looked like almond milk and was probably just dairy milk
CanadianWeeb5: No I’m not
GlyphPixel: Maybe you are just finding out?
Most adults become lactose intolerant. Some don't realize it unless they have a lot of dairy at once, causing diarrhea, because consistent levels of dairy in the diet can keep gut flora alive which help digest (moderate levels of) lactose for you.
CanadianWeeb5: I mean I do kinda get sick when having dairy products and suspected that I’m lactose intolerant
Newname83: So you are saying you are lactose intolerant
| 11 | 26.818182 | |
1651200316 | 1651446164 | t3_uec0su | t5_2to41 | 31 | ExtremelyLoew172: TIFU by singing and dancing with my crush
Im new to reddit but whatever I thought this was embarrassing enough.
Happened only like an hour ago so Im still embarrassed but whatever at this point. Im 16, and I'm apart of our schools singing program, called mystic blues, and at the end of every year we do something called After Dinner Theatre, where we all dress up, dance and sing more fun songs that we get to choose, as opposed to regular choir where you just sing whatever that the teachers give you.
Sooooo all the boys were partnered up with the girls and we were rehearsing our routine for a Micheal Jackson song, and I was partnered up with my crush cause were friends, and we got to a move we where the girl is leaning up against the guy while holding hands, and her butt was you know where, and I don't know why, we had done this move like 15 times up to this point but I got a boner and she fucking felt it. My face was red as shit and her and one of her female friends made fun of me for it. I trhink she knows now that I have a crush on her.
TLDR; danced with a girl who happened to be my crush for a singing show and got a boner that she felt. I'm gonna go die now.
dreghren: I'd honestly admit the crush and see where it goes from there. 😉
ExtremelyLoew172: I mean I'm still friends with them so might as well
dreghren: Good luck! Tell us how it goes. XD
ExtremelyLoew172: Sorry for the late reply but yeah it didn't go amazingly well. She hasn't really talked to me all that much and I think she just isn't into me like I am her. I think we are still friends but I'm not really sure to be honest.
dreghren: Ahhh this sucks. Maybe she's processing the situation?
If not, then give her space, don't make things weird. Just keep being her friend and never bring up the crush again unless she does. I'm sure you'll be able to joke about this at some point.
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1651201887 | 1651508271 | t3_uecida | t5_2to41 | 29 | albatross49: TIFU by making a punny comment
This incident happened a on a Halloween a few years back, but it remains fresh in my mind.
I was invited to a friend's Halloween party, it wasn't a huge roof crasher or anything, just over a dozen people hanging out at his place. But to attend, you had to dress as a joke or pun, and when you walked in, everyone had to guess what you were.
I went with a string that had a can on each end on my neck, and piece of paper with SAM written on it taped to the front of my shirt.
I was Toucan (Two Can) Sam (the bird that sells Froot Loops).
The party was great at first, and as guests started to arrive, we would try to figure out their costumes and shout out what we thought they were. Whoever guessed wrong took half a shot. I'm a terrible guesser, and after the first 5 guests, I was feeling pretty buzzed.
It all went wrong when the 6th and 7th guest walked through the door hand in hand.
It was my work friend who had brought his girlfriend for us to meet. He'd always talk about her, but we'd never seen her before.
They were dressed like they were going to a ball, he was in a neat and clean black suit, and she was draped in a poofy orange ballgown. I should note that my work friend's girlfriend leans on the chubbier side (not that there's anything wrong with that) and her outfit for that night seemed to accentuate her roundness.
While everyone started with their hellos and compliments, I decided that I wanted to finally get a guess right, and furiously brainstormed what they could possibly be.
As I looked at my friend in his suit, he seemed strikingly similar to James Bond, and as I looked over at his girlfriend in all her orange frills, a moment of eureka occurred in my slightly drunken mind, I stood, pointed right at them, and shouted "JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH!".
This in fact, was not the correct answer.
It turns out they were dressed as "Beauty & the Beast" and the joke was that her boyfriend was "a beast". Who knew.
Everyone kinda stared in silence at me and then at her. She did not take my guess too well and cried. Her boyfriend tried to take her outside and console her, but they ended up just going home instead. I tried to apologize, and everyone tried to make her feel better and convince them to stay, but the damage was done.
The vibe of the party was dead and I was the murderer.
I decided it was time for me to take my leave, so I went home, drank a few beers, lay down in bed and tried not to die of cringe.
TL;DR - I guess someone's costume and ruin a party
UsernamesAreRuthless: - Belle has a yellow dress
- James doesn't wear a tux
- This is ridiculously funny and sad thanks for the shameful giggles
rolypolyarmadillo: One of Belle's dresses - her Christmas one - is red and yellow. Source: was Christmas Belle for Halloween one year. No, I don't know why, but my mom said that's what I wanted so she went for it. Maybe OP's drunk mind melded the red and yellow to make orange? Or she just fucked up and the dress was the wrong color lmao.
UsernamesAreRuthless: Huh, TIL
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1651202964 | 1651206485 | t3_uecubu | t5_2to41 | 41 | Throwaway1234123111: TIFU by watching a drug deal take place and locking eye contact with the dealer
I had to pick somethings up in NYC so I was running around the city all day and before my train home I decided to grab a fast meal at McDonald’s this was the McDonald’s right out side of pen station if anyone’s wondering. I got a large fries and some nuggets sat down to eat in front of the door and was checking my emails on my phone. I kept noticing a lot of homeless people walking in and out sitting at the same table where a group of men were sitting it wasn’t till the same guy walked in twice and I saw the baggies in his hand it clicked what was happening.I looked over to the table and kept watching as they used a news paper to pass the drugs to the people going to the table. I know I should’ve just looked away but I couldn’t stop watching I was in shock it wasn’t something I’ve seen in person before . The dealer locked eye contact with me when he finished his last deal he walked over and sat next to me pulled a knife and asked if I saw and told me if I say anything he’d fuck be up and all I could say is I do weed I don’t care what you’re doing and he said do you mind and took my box of fries I grabbed my stuff tossed out my food and left he followed me of till I crossed over to 34th to the msg opening to penn station and I spirited down the stairs when I got deeper into the station I finally looked behind me and he was gone.
I know this sounds fake as hell but this literally happened to me and im gonna stay glued to my phone from now on instead of looking around
TLDR: saw drug deal happen so dealer pulled knife on me then took my food.
ponderinthewind: Oh it was at penn McDonald. Happens often with drugs and shady folks. Probably avoid that area for future McDonald stops. Dealer will forget in like a week or so. It’s scary when it happens. Just mind you business in the future. You can carry a swift army knife with you to feel more secure traveling in the meantime.
Spiritual_Poo: OP doesn't sound like a defending themselves kind of cat. All they're gonna do is make sure that the third time they piss that guy off he has a nice Swiss Army Knife to stick OP with from the second time he makes this mistake.
Throwaway1234123111: Not wrong i’m very much not a fighter. Its funny since I’m quite helpful when someone else is in trouble like medical emergencies but once something happens to me I’m a deer in headlights.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1651203292 | 1651204030 | t3_uecxyj | t5_2to41 | 19 | wafflesareforever: TIFU by leaving a carefully handwritten index card of Usenet porn newsgroups on the desk in my dad's home office
I think it probably goes without saying that this didn't happen today. This was back in the 90s, I was 13. While most people probably didn't know about Usenet back then, I was enough of a nerd to not only know about it, but also how to find pictures of naked ladies on it. I didn't even know how to jack off yet to be honest, which is a little embarrassing in hindsight. I just knew that pictures of naked ladies were very exciting, and I felt like an absolute genius for figuring out how to use Usenet newsgroups to find them on my parents' Mac LCIII with a 28.8 baud modem.
My list of erotic newsgroups was on an index card that I kept folded up in my pocket at all times. All that was written on there was the addresses of the newsgroups, like "alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.asian" and similar.
My parents knew that I was good with computers, and I'd already gotten in trouble earlier in the year for "hacking the school network" even though it wasn't me (it wasn't even a "hack" by any definition, it was so stupid; that's a whole different story). They already regarded me as someone who could hack into anything if I wanted to, which of course was complete nonsense.
Stupidly, I left the wadded-up index card of Usenet porn groups on the desk one day after getting my 13-year-old thrills out of some pictures of boobs. My parents found it just as I was rushing back to the computer to get it. I overheard them debating what to do. My mom wanted to ground me. My dad asked her to let him handle it. She said fine.
I snuck back to my room and pretended to be oblivious when my dad came in. He held up my list of porn newsgroups and raised his eyebrows, probably trying to look stern, but he just looked anxious and awkward to me. I started to try and explain. He held up his hand and said, "Please don't ever let your mother find something like this again." It was never spoken of again.
TL;DR: My parents found out that I was using the home office to check out Usenet porn when I was 13.
EtiennedeWilde: I was about to say... Usenet is still a thing?
wafflesareforever: I actually still use it instead of torrents. Check out nzbplanet.com
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1651203915 | 1651228586 | t3_ued4pd | t5_2to41 | 4,851 | throw-away-low: TIFU by not cleaning up after myself.
So my mom has been living with me while her home is being remodeled. My mother is very much a type A personality and has to have everything in its place. While I am more relaxed and don’t mind a more lived in vibe at my place but I’m no means a slob.
Often, my mom will go around “tidying” things. For example, she’ll put my dog’s medication in the bathroom along with the other medicine even though I told her I prefer to have them on the kitchen counter so that way I can remind myself to give them to him when he eats. My mom just laughs and says she’ll remember next time.
Well to get back to the story, I had a hard day at work the other day and I wanted to “wind down” so to speak, before I went to sleep. After, I set the toy down on my nightstand and told myself I would put it away in the morning. This did not happen since I woke up late that morning.
When I got home though, I didn’t see it on my nightstand and I noticed that the nightstand and dresser was tidied up a little. That’s when I realized what had happened.
I quickly opened my nightstand drawer and opened my toy box. There in the middle of all my dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, and other accessories was the toy I had used last night! Not only did my mom put it away, she saw all of my other toys!!!
I am quite mortified and have barely spoke to her since.
TLDR My mom put away my sex toy and saw all my other sex toys.
-Oops-I-died-: Have a conversation with her about boundaries. Say you understand she needs things tidy and clean but its *your* house so you have everything where *you* need it to be, such as the dogs medication.
She is your mother not your maid. Talk to her
HomersNotHereMan: Oh reddit. The place where teenagers think everything can be solved by simply discussing your boundaries.
-Oops-I-died-: I never said that would solve it. It was a suggestion to TRY to solve it.
Also, in a lot of instances, just discussing things has actually worked. So take that mindset elsewhere, thanks
HomersNotHereMan: Maybe when you graduate high school you'll realize that not everyone has parents like yours. Op's mom has probably been violating her space her entire life. Having a conversation with a parent like that about boundaries is fruitless.
-Oops-I-died-: lol. You dont know my *parent.* She “needs” everything tidy and clean as well. She overworks herself because EVERYTHING has to be perfect every day or it drives her nuts. Then she gets mad because “were not helping” when me and my brother DO help, it just seems like shes doing way more because.. she is. Unnecessary cleaning. All the time. Even when it seems spotless, theres always something.
So, I understand. Please dont assume things about someone over 1 comment.
HomersNotHereMan: Did you try to have a conversation with her about boundaries?
-Oops-I-died-: When it comes to my things, no. shes not cleaning MY stuff, she makes us clean our own. As well as the house, when shes not doing it.
But yes, I have talked to her. I’ve told her something pretty similar to what Ive told you above, how it seems like weve done very little but thats just because shes done a lot. Made her mad, lol.
(It seems like shes a bad mother in my comments, but shes great, this is just a main issue)
Anyway. My situation wasnt solved with a discussion, no. Does that mean OPs cant be?? Or cant at least improve?? No.
I assume that was your point, yeah? Mine wasnt fixed, therefore why would I tell OP to have a discussion with their mother, it obviously doesnt work.
All I can do is shake my head at that. Just because one thing doesnt work for one situation, doesnt mean it wont for another.
HomersNotHereMan: I'm looking at it like this. Op's mom has probably been violating her space her entire life. A simple conversation isn't going to solve that. The mom seems super narcissistic and after OP telling their mom multiple times not to touch the dogs medicine, she still did.
Parents like that do not listen. They do whatever they want and don't understand why someone would tell them to stop. They clearly had this conversation with their mother but the mother doesn't care and still does it. How would another discussion about boundaries help this?
Puffena: You say they’ve clearly had this conversation, but that’s just a random guess. OP said nothing to hint at that at all, you’re just assuming that is a longtime thing and therefore OP must have already had a conversation that went nowhere. Jesus, you’re just such a stubborn asshole.
HomersNotHereMan: "she’ll put my dog’s medication in the bathroom along with the other medicine even though I told her I prefer to have them on the kitchen counter"
Literally from the post. I guess reading comprehension makes me an asshole.?
Puffena: That’s one specific conversation about one thing, but a full proper conversation about boundaries in which OP lays everything out, how they feel in general about her tidying, and go beyond just “this is a bit inconvenient” to “this genuinely makes things uncomfortable and worse for me, and it needs to stop right away.” And if that doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. But being so anti-conversation here is just the most confusing stance. It literally couldn’t hurt to try, and I am certain that OP is a better judge than you over whether their mom might be receptive to another, more serious conversation.
HomersNotHereMan: Why are you assuming this is the only conversation they've had? Op owns a home so their probably an adult. Their mother goes into their house without permission to clean and move stuff around and you think that hasnt been a problem throught their life? Did the mother one day just decide to act like this? No she didnt.
And you don't know op or their mother either so what makes your opinion better than mine? You can ask bullies to treat you with respect and respect your boundaries but they never will. It'll only make you pissed off or have negative feelings.
intheafterlight: ... considering your unnecessarily aggressive comment about reading comprehension, you might want to check your own, because the mother is not only in the house with permission, but OP explicitly states that she's currently staying there. In that context, some well-meaning but incredibly misguided "tidying" is... I hesitate to say "understandable," but it's perhaps less egregious, given that it's a space the mother is actively occupying. It's still not *appropriate*, especially going into OP's bedroom and "tidying" the sex toys, but it's vastly different from entering the home uninvited.
You're additionally making a number of assumptions here about motivation, perhaps rooted in that misreading, that we don't *really* have enough information about one way or the other. It's not reasonable to assume that setting boundaries will work, sure, and, frankly, I'm inclined to believe that it probably won't, but by the same virtue, it's unreasonable to assume that it *cannot* work.
| 14 | 346.5 | |
1651205110 | 1651240306 | t3_uedhg5 | t5_2to41 | 1,873 | Different-Apricot337: Tifu by not realizing how violent bumper cars were and shutting down the ride by making a kid cry.
Well open a pit to hell and let me jump in. I was at a festival today with an old bumper car ride which I haven't been on since I was a very small child so I thought..why not give it a go? Well I pay my tickets hop into my bumber car and rev the engine when the music starts. There was some space in front of me so I picked up speed and hit the car I'm front of me. But my fun to turned to horror when I saw that the person inside was a lot smaller then I thought and it was a lot more violent of a bounce then I expected. The kid started crying.
The operator saw this all happen and stopped the ride. The music stopped and the mom came out the grab her son and give me the glare down. All eyes were on me and it was absolutely mortifying. I feel terrible. I looking around after to see if I could apologize but no sign of them. I suspect this will haunt me forever. Neve rbe able to look at an amusement park the same way.
Tl;dr tried to have fun at a festival and traumatized a kid instead.
Edit: the ride did restart after the kid vacated the premises.
Edit 2: I'm not suicidal you don't need to send me a helpline lol
StrawberryKiwiAndre: Lmfao what did the mom expect?
DrDoolz: If the kids that small she should have been in the bumper car as well.
rinkimiko: As a Mum of an adventurous 5yo. Exactly this. Wtf Mom. You're ok OP. Bumper cars are bumper cars my dude
ErikRogers: Agree. This is acceptable behavior in bumper cars. As long as you don't literally hound one kid the whole time.
Don't do this in go karts though.
Menloand: Technically he did hound that one kid the entire time time lol
| 6 | 312.166667 | |
1651211154 | 1651350626 | t3_uef3nd | t5_2to41 | 6,130 | deyheimler: TIFU by dying 2 times in a week
Let me preface this by saying it actually did happen today. And I’m currently sitting in the hospital as a result.
So, I have a history of drug addiction. But I’ve managed to remain clean and healthy for the most part for about 7 years now. Up until about 2 weeks ago, when I had a friend give me fentanyl in powder form. It didn’t seem like a big deal, smoke a hit and feel nice. Then 4 days ago I took a hit and woke up an hour later not knowing where I was or what happened. It was scary, turns out I had stopped breathing for a decent enough amount of time to pop all the blood vessels in my eyes, and make my skin turn blue.
I didn’t go to the hospital though. I went home, and went to bed. Started using again the next day smoking it a few times a day.
Which leads up to right now. I took a hit, and apparently lost consciousness. My wife found me and started performing CPR and mouth to mouth trying to bring me back to no avail.
Ambulance finally showed up and hit me with narcan 2 times in my back.
I didn’t think it was real. I could hear my wife talking to me and see people around me but it didn’t seem real.
It took me a while to realize it was medics trying to get my heart beating Again.
I’m alive. Medics said my heart stopped, I was seconds away from slipping away.
I feel immense sadness right now, I really messed up.
Sorry for poor grammar, I’m still kind of out of it.
Sorry if this post doesn’t belong here
TL;DR
I overdosed and died 2 separate times in a week period.
SLR_ZA: The person who gave you fentanyl is not your friend.
They need a TIFU too
naomicambellwalk: Came here to say this. A friend doesn’t give a friend fentanyl after 7 years of being clean. Sounds like someone who wants to see you fail like they are.
StinkybuttMcPoopface: This is something I can't get my fiance to understand about his addiction issues and the """friends""" he has that don't take it seriously and enable it. He sees no issue and thinks they're just trying to be nice. Even if they are, they know he's got issues and they need to take it seriously. People like this are selfish and fucked in the head, they are not your friends.
Edited for clarity I guess?
HoneyBucketsOfOats: Jesus get a different fiancé
StinkybuttMcPoopface: Lmao classic reddit snap judgement based on almost nothing.
He's been clean for a little over 3.5 years, and we don't even live in the same state as those friends anymore. It's not an ongoing problem, he's just naive and young, and doesn't want to look at those friends that way. Calm down
HoneyBucketsOfOats: Defensive much? It’s not based on nothing. It’s based on what you said.
Doesn’t matter you’re going to do what you’re going to do. Good luck.
StinkybuttMcPoopface: Of course I'm gonna be defensive, you told me to break up with my fiancé because he has a few shitty friends that don't take his addiction seriously lmfao. It makes no sense at all
HoneyBucketsOfOats: No you said your (recovering?) addictive fiancé has shorty friends who are enablers which he doesn’t see as a big deal. That’s a massive red flag. Massive. This is also in a thread the corner text of which is a guy backsliding into using fucking fentanyl and dying TWICE because his shitty enabling friends enabled him.
Looking at your post history it looks like y’all have a kid so I fucking hope you guys can keep it together and sober for the kid(s) because kids deserve actual living, sober, present parents. However if sobriety isn’t happening for one or both of you I hope you are able to have a much more rational think about this.
Honestly good luck.
StinkybuttMcPoopface: Goddamn dude, it's so obvious you have no idea what you're talking about it's painful. Yes, "recovering". All addicts that are honest with themselves know that they are always in recovery, and never cured of it. This is how clean addicts refer to themselves.
Looks like we have a kid? Your reading comprehension is absolutely terrible, if that wasn't already clear by this interaction, but we don't have a kid. We don't even plan to have them, ever, and I'm pretty clear in my post history on that. I have no idea what made you think that, but keep on going on trying to make it seem like you're not making wild and consistently incorrect assumptions about other people lmao
HoneyBucketsOfOats: Thank god
| 11 | 557.272727 | |
1651209673 | 1651218649 | t3_ueeqcy | t5_2to41 | 41 | fabier: TIFU by accidentally telling John DiMaggio his voice as Bender in Futurama puts me to sleep
This TIFU happened back in 2019. Those who know me know that I'm quite the Futurama fan. I have watched the entire series through at least 10 times over. It has become super familiar, I regularly quote the show in normal everyday conversation. It has just become a part of who I am.
So in 2019 when I went to Comic-con for the first (and probably last) time in my life I had the opportunity to meet John DiMaggio in the flesh. Amazingly, I caught him at a moment when there wasn't a line to see him which meant I could wander up to his table and say hello.
They say to never meet your heros, but on that day I was apparently determined to prove that saying true in the dumbest way possible. As I was walking up to the table I started going through my head and thinking "this guy has heard everything from fans. What could I tell him that might flatter him AND help me stand out from the crowd a little bit".
You know, I wanted to keep things interesting.
Thats when it suddenly hit me. I have been part of the [/r/Futurama\_Sleepers/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurama_Sleepers/) subreddit for years. I wondered briefly if he had heard about this group of people who find Futurama so comfortable that they choose to end their day with the sounds and sights of the iconic series.
But all that ended rapidly as I opened my mouth and the dumbest words I think I have ever uttered fell out. I started strong by complimenting Mr DiMaggio on his fantastic work in Futurama and then it all fell apart as I asked if he knew about a subreddit where fans talked about using the series to go to sleep.
It had never dawned on my Neanderthal brain that telling an artist that their work put people to sleep might be taken in a negative light until his entire demeanor changed towards me. My brother, who was standing next to me, was doing all he could to not laugh his ass off at me, and DiMaggio ended the conversation as rapidly as I had attempted to initiate it.
Long story short, Mr. DiMaggio, if you're reading this, know that I have nothing but respect for your craft and love your work in Futurama to pieces. I am a dumbass who was trying so hard to impress you I managed to wrap back around into insulting you. Only now, 3 years later have I been able to start laughing about it. I basically spent the entire Pandemic contemplating my life choices and how they had lead me to insulting one of my favorite voice actors of all time.
TL;DR I told John DiMaggio about /r/futurama_sleepers in a misguided attempt to impress him. But he clearly heard me tell him his work puts people to sleep.
ilhares: I can't hold it against you. I'd love to listen to Bender reading an audio book while I go to sleep.
fabier: I tried doing that once, but he stole my wallet before he made it to page 3.
Zer0_Cloud17: Yo count yourself lucky! He stole my wallet while reading just the first few lines on page 1.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1651216877 | 1651225628 | t3_ueggb0 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by yelling at my younger brother and implying he has a mental illness all on his birthday
[deleted]
Jeezy_7_3: Has 4.2 gpa. Kid is smart. I was smoking Newports and hoping For a 3.0 in high school lol
26514: Same man. I'd give my left arm to be that smart.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1651226487 | 1651230526 | t3_ueiig0 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Yenhikaro: TIFU Hurting My Best Friend
This will be a long post, sorry I had to use this as an outlet for how I was feeling.
TIFU by hurting the one friend I cherished the most. Her (Female 22) and me (Male 29). I’ve known her and her family for years, I was close to them all and spent time with them over the years. There daughter and I became closer as she got older and when she turned 19 she invited me and some other friends over for a super bowl party.
At that party, we realized how great we got along and she kept inviting me to do things with her and friends, just genuinely hanging out. In 2020 when the pandemic hit, we became really close. I lost my mom in 2020 due to COVID-19 and my depression hit an all time low. I took the decision to go to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with: Depression, anxiety and bipolar (the mild version of it). It was difficult for me and I shut everyone out because it felt meaningless to go on without my mom.
However, this one friend would always try and text me or call me on FaceTime to keep me company. We’d watch movies, have deep conversations about life and our dreams.
Me and her were in a religion that restricted us heavily and we both felt we wanted to stop going. I had gone because of my mom, it hurt to leave because I knew she wanted to life for me, but I never did.
This became an issue though, because as people know friends with the opposite sex can be troublesome. At the end of 2020 I ended up developing strong feelings for her and I expressed it to her. She said she didn’t feel the same way towards me. It stung and it hurt me mentally but I slowly realized, as much as I felt for me. I knew that her friendship meant the world to me and I couldn’t leave her behind.
We did have a couple intimate moments together when we hanged out before I moved away to Florida. We never had sex as much as I wanted to especially being a virgin at 29; but we were concerned it would complicate our great friendship - so we never did that. She would always joke with me saying she’d do that with me if I was 30 and a virgin still and who knows if that’s true.
This is where the major problem became. She’s been going on many dates trying to found someone who she can have a relationship with. She’d always call me when she had problems with a guy, or just felt that the guy wouldn’t respect her and her mind. We have had conversations about how she handled things with men. I asked her very strong questions and one of them was: “Do you sleep with these guys early on? Like first date, second date?” She said, yes. I told her: “Ok, gotcha. Well, I don’t judge you for having sex with them if you’re attracted to them and you get in the moment I understand. But what I will say is that if I’m being honest - men can be assholes. Some men will charm you and tell you all of these beautiful things but once they achieve there goal some of them will tend to leave. It’s hurtful and rude but it’s the truth. Maybe, instead of being so intimate early on hold off a bit and get a feel for them. I’m not saying don’t make out or do get intimate with them but set a barrier early on. You know?”
She agreed with me and said she feels like my advice is solid.
The other day, about a week ago. She said she was talking to this guy and was going on her first date with this guy. I said, “Oh that’s nice” and I wanted to not talk about the topic anymore because sometimes it hurts when she says she’s talking to another guy again. Subconsciously maybe jealously will always take place in my heart with her.
This is where I messed up. I said, “Don’t forget what we spoke about a month ago about not having sex early on with them and letting them earn that with you. You know?”
She got extremely offended me and got angry. She said, “Why do you always have to repeat things to me? As if I don’t know. You always say hurtful things when it comes to guys I like or date. You’re so damn toxic and you make me cry a lot. You’re my best friend you’re supposed to support me! I’m done I don’t want to talk to you. I’m tired of forgiving you for hurting me with what you say. You get so emotional that you say things that hurt.”
I realized I have done this before to her. I finally realized how much my words can hurt.
I lost my best friend, who I loved and cared for. I hate it and it tears me apart. Luckily the medication I take helps a bit to make me not drown in the darkness. But I miss her everyday.
TLDR: I lost my bestfriend who was very important to me and I hurt them because I was a toxic person in our friendship.
StrawberryKiwiAndre: It sounds like she kept treating you like the friend she expected you to be. I get liking her but after she clearly didn't want a romantic relationship with you, why wouldn't you try and find someone else to date? Seems like you attached unhealthy emotions to her since she was there for you in a rough time like most FRIENDS are but just because someone helps you through a rough patch doesn't mean they're romantically inclined to you. If you couldn't handle being her friend while she was dating other guys, then you never really were her friend. R/niceguys vibes.
Mode-Klutzy: I have a friend of mine who trusted this guy too early and decided to start dating. She latched on like a leech on first sight. They got in an argument (this time was the worst of the 4 times throughout the past 3 weeks) and now are back together(?) I don’t want to be the next post on tifu for fighting ti keep her away from this guy who she has never met in person and has known for about 2 months now. I think she attached unhealthy emotions and i don’t know what to do. I’m only looking out for her, I am like momma bear in the group of friends and I don’t like seeing my friends devastated at what some online rando decided to be an ahole said. (even though I am a guy I call myself momma bear because I’m there and there to protect my only close friends. Covid and college tore up most my friendships). Do I let it ride it’s course and possibly lead to a reoccurring dilemma or do I need to somehow put my foot down harder? What do I do?! I’m an engineer at heart and believe to myself that I have great problem solving but emotional attachments to a jerk ain’t one of my professions.
StrawberryKiwiAndre: You can voice your opinion as a friend but it's not your place to put your foot down. If you can't handle the drama with this person's love life then walk away. It's their decision at the end of the day who they want to be with... at the end of the day it's not your problem. You can support your friend while they figure themselves out or you can be fed up with the drama but purposely putting yourself in the middle because you would do things differently will only back fire on you and most likely end with them choosing the person they're dating over you.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1651230058 | 1651236370 | t3_uejcis | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU when work caught me forging documents and are now running an investigation, should I quit before I’m fired?
[deleted]
rtosser: Quit now and put it in the rear view mirror.
Whether they try to pursue you with some legal action is besides the point - they will or won't regardless of whether you're still employed. But the grief and worry you'll experience while they are investigating isn't worth it.
You made a mistake - leave and move on.
Such-Wrongdoer-2198: Quitting is dangerous because it will still be hanging over his head. I would retain an attorney and try to offer a negotiated settlement. He quits and they get some money, but agree to forego any future claims.
rtosser: I would never offer a settlement of any kind until they made the first move and pursued redress.
And while IANAL, this is very likely the type of fuck up that gets you fired but is not recoverable by an employer. Unless he filed expense reports for travel he never did or otherwise actually stole, he's just a shitty employee. Shitty employees get fired all the time, but only the ones who steal tangible property or cash are sued.
Such-Wrongdoer-2198: Falsifying work records (IE reporting he was on the job when he actually wasn't) is the same as stealing cash. There's a big difference between being lazy while on the clock, and not showing up, but reporting that you did.
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1651230458 | 1651251705 | t3_uejgd1 | t5_2to41 | 11 | cuckfancer11: TIFU by Complaining in an Uber
My wife (F) and I (M) don't use Uber a lot but the few nights a year we manage to get away it is REALLY handy for date night and had some great experiences not having to worry about driving. Up until today, we have consistently gotten good rider ratings.
This happened today. We went to a rock concert with two female opening bands in the Midwest. In the restroom there were men essentially making rape jokes about the opening acts - this weighed heavily on me but I didn't mention it or even act off in the Uber we took from the concert to bar.
At the bar, there was one bartender (she was gorgeous) for the whole place and right before we left a male member of a group with three other females made an overly sexual comment about the bartender. Combined with the earlier comments, this really got under my skin as in the area we call home that shit generally doesn't pass.
Cut to the Uber ride home (with a female driver) and I mistakenly assumed this was a safe space to vent a little bit of my frustrations against mysoginistic assholes. My wife didn't think the environment was appropriate, told me so, I apologized, and was quiet the rest of the trip. The driver didn't say anything, we enjoyed the music on the way home, and shared pleasantries as we departed the Uber.
I learned a few hrs later the last driver gave us a 1 star review dropping our rider rating dramatically. I guess a highly rated driver couldn't handle some conversation? I hate the Midwest so much.
TLDR: I complained about men being assholes in an Uber now my wife's rating dropped significantly because the female driver apparently didn't like our topic of conversation.
No_Distance_1164: You sure it was about you venting? You complain a lot?
cuckfancer11: We were courteous, didn't slam doors, thanked her for the ride... That's the only thing I can think of that would have done it. She was probably a "my hometown is perfect" kind of person.
No_Distance_1164: You sure the concert and bar crowd in your area don't joke about rape?
cuckfancer11: Yes.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1651231317 | 1651267752 | t3_uejoek | t5_2to41 | 22,406 | Throwaway1984-UK: TIFU by downing 2 litres of apple juice and not appreciating the effect this has on the human bowel...
Obligatory throwaway account and this actually happened earlier this week.
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TLDR at the bottom.
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My job is driving around shops and putting out displays, leaflets, POS etc. I had one particular call that involved moving lots of heavy stock and building some massive displays. 2 hours of very heavy manual labour left me literally dripping in sweat and craving a nice cool, refreshing drink. Before leaving the shop, I went to the fruit juice chiller. £1 for 1 litre of apple juice, or £1.50 for 2 litres. I love apple juice so I'll take the 2 litres please.
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I drank the first litre in the 2 minute walk back to my car as I was incredibly thirsty. My next store was about 45 mins away so get in my car and crank up the air con.
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Drink the second litre of apple juice within the first five minutes of my drive and start to feel refreshed so stuck on a podcast and settled in for the drive.
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15 minutes until the end of my drive and I start to get a bit of cramping in my stomach. Think to myself that I'll use the bathroom at my next store.
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10 minutes until the end of my drive and the cramps are getting worse. Do a little lean to the side and try to let out a fart to see if that helps. Hmm, feels like I better not push too hard to try and get that out.
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5 minutes until my destination and circumstances are getting worse. I'm shifting in my chair to try and get comfy, the urge to go is getting pretty urgent. I look for somewhere to stop that might have a bathroom but nowhere looks promising. Consider pulling over and running behind a tree or something but stuck in slow moving traffic so decide to clench and push on.
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Pulling in to the car park, I try to park as close to the store as I could and get ready to literally run through the store to their bathroom. I park and lean over to the passenger footwell to pick up my jacket... That was a bad move. The lean to the side has compromised my clenched sphincter, the dam gives way and the floodgates open.
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I feel warm liquid fill my boxers. It stinks, but in a way there is a small relief as the intense stomach pains are almost gone.
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I sit there in a puddle of apple juice that had just rapidly passed through my digestive system and contemplate my options. I do what any sane man would do and call my wife:
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"Hello?"
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"Babe, I've got a problem."
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"Oh no, are you OK? Have you been in a crash? Are you hurt"
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"No... I've shit my pants and don't know what to do..."
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"WHAT THE FUCK?! That's fucking hilarious! What are you a toddler?! Where are you?"
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"About an hour and 15 mins from home."
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"Oh my God! Well, you can either go in the shop and get some trousers or drive home..."
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At this point, she's still taking the piss out of me but I'm quickly distracted my an all too suddenly familiar feeling in my stomach... Round two.
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"Oh no, there's more coming out!"
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"What the fuck, are you actually shitting yourself right now?!"
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"Urgh...its disgusting. I can't stop it! "
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Now round one was just a preview, round two was the full show. It was pure liquid shit gushing out of my ass and there was nothing I could do to stem the flow.
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I end up just making weird noises and have lost off ability to communicate. Imagine the worst shit you've ever had but you're sitting down in a car seat whilst doing it and your wife is listening via the hands free.
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"Oh no, it's breached the waistband!"
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Up until this point, everything had been contained in my boxers but I suddenly felt wetness creeping up my lower back and the awful smell getting stronger. If you've ever had a kid, remember those awful shits that come out the top of their nappy and all up their back? Well, that is happening to me... a 37 year old man, sitting in a company car, over an hour from home.
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Eventually the torrent subsides and I have no words for how I feel. I am literally sitting with my boxers full of liquid shit which has overflowed up my back. I feel exhausted and wet. I swear the entire two litres of apple juice is now in my pants.
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"I'm coming home, I'm literally covered in shit."
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\*retching noises from wife\*
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"You're repulsive. Give me a call when you're 10 mins from home".
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I start the most uncomfortable drive I've ever experienced. Every gear change was creating a ripple effect with the shitty liquid. Every time I would accelerate or brake, the liquid would slosh backwards and forwards.
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The next issue was letting my boss know that I was going to be home early so wouldn't be able to complete my calls for the day. But what could I say?! I've just shit myself in an explosive way whilst sitting in your company car?!
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I say that I've been ill and am heading home. Didn't elaborate any further and he said to speak to him tomorrow morning and let him know how I was then.
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So I drive home, getting cold as the previously body temperature liquid was getting cooler. I call my wife when 10 mins from home and she says she's going to wait in the back garden until I've sorted myself out and she put down a bin bag in the hallway for me to stand on and strip off.
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I pull up outside the house and come across my latest problem...standing up. Despite 'the incident' occurring over an hour ago, there was still a lot of wetness down there and I knew that as soon as I stood up, gravity would take over.
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I slip off my shoes and leave them in the car, take a deep breath and go for it. As I stand up, I can feel the wetness trickling down my legs. Within seconds it's below my knees and I'm still a few steps from the front door. By the time I get there, there are drips coming out the bottom on my trouser legs, leaving a shitty bread crumb trail up my garden path.
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I get in the house, step on the bin bag in the hallway and close the front door behind me.
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You can look through my house and see the back garden from the hallway and I see my wife staring at me with her hands over her mouth is disgust. She immediately starts retching and runs off down the garden.
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I start to get undressed, trousers first and it is not a pretty sight. I put my boxers and trousers in the other waiting bin bag. There is no way they're getting salvaged.
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Next comes my top. What I had forgotten at this point was the waistband breach and the fact that my lower back was also covered.
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As I take my top off, I feel a wet smear going up my back and it dawns on me, there is shit on the bottom of my top and I'm not spreading it all over myself. Already in too deep, I take the top over my head and end up smearing more shit in my hair.
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Now naked in the hall way and literally covered from head to toe, I start using the supplied pack of baby wipes to get the worst off. I then follow the trail of bin bags up the stairs to the bathroom to shower.
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I have the hottest, longest shower I've ever had. I was in there for a good half hour. The initial 5 minutes was probably the worst as all the shit was accumulating in the shower tray leaving me standing in a shitty water puddle.
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I even used bleach to clean myself.
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Eventually I felt clean enough so got dressed. I went downstairs and was met with the absolute carnage I had left the hall way in. The most horrendous smell, but with a small hint of apple, and traces of shit everywhere.
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My wife stayed out in the garden for the next half hour whilst I sorted it out (I don't blame her, I would have done the same) before she finally came back in the house and sprayed a whole can of air freshener.
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She stood looking at me, a shocked look on her face and just said... "What the actual fuck?!"
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I had no real explanation, I just didn't make it to the toilet in time. She asked me if I felt ill, I felt fine. She asked me what I'd had to eat and drink that day. I said I'd had nothing out of the ordinary apart from an apple juice. When I told her how much I'd drank, she just burst out laughing.
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"You basically drank two litres of laxative!"
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She then explained to me how apple juice contains high levels of frustose and should only be drunk in small quantities, hence why it is sold in smaller bottles than Coke etc. I did not know this!
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I then remembered the car. I had yet to see the state of this.
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I went out armed with a bucket of warm soapy water, bin bags, wipes and rubber gloves.
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The smell when opening the car door was like nothing I'd ever experienced and immediately made me retch, but I knew what had to be done.
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I won't go in to too much detail, but I was out there about 45 minutes and it wasn't pleasent.
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All of this happened 3 days ago. I'm currently having to sit on a bin bag in my car and there is still a lingering shitty, slightly apple scented smell. Any advice of cleaning car upholstery would be much appreciated!
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My wife has said that this is going to take her a while to get over this!
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TLDR - Drank two litres of apple juice in 10 minutes. Didn't know this would have a laxative effect. Explosively shit myself sitting in my company car whilst my wife listened on via the phone. Had to drive an hour home covered head to toe in shit.
theswordofdoubt: Man, I've been thirsty before, but not "chug 2 litres of apple juice" thirsty. Maybe start carrying water around? At least you know water wouldn't do that to you.
human_steak: A single cup of apple juice has 24 g of sugar, which is like eating 5 teaspoons of sugar. 2 L of apple juice has about 380 g of sugar.
OP basically scarfed down over a third of a kilo of sugar. Good god.
moneycrown: A single cup is 200ml so 2l of apple juice is 240gram
KrypXern: Not in the US, a single cup is ~235 mL
moneycrown: Then 2L of apple juice would have even less sugar than human_steak said
KrypXern: Yup, that's definitely true. Just wanted to clear up the ~~misinfo~~ potential difference in units depending on where that apple juice stat is from 🙂
moneycrown: It’s not misinfo it’s just a different country
KrypXern: In what country is a cup 200 mL?
By the metric system a cup is 250 mL, by old UK imperial it's ~285 mL, by US imperial it's ~235 mL.
I don't doubt it could be 200 mL in some country, but I'm just curious.
moneycrown: Netherlands
KrypXern: Google doesn't seem to pull any results, but I'll take it you're a firsthand source for that. Sorry about the confusion.
moneycrown: A ‘cup’ is not an official volume but the consensus is that it’s 200ml
KrypXern: In the US, a cup has a legal definition because it's how the FDA (Food & Drug Admin) measures volume, so that's why I presumed that the measurement of sugar was in those units.
But anyway, I learned something new today, kudos.
moneycrown: cheers
| 14 | 1,600.428571 | |
1651233840 | 1651319153 | t3_uekeaf | t5_2to41 | 47 | coffeetaIk: TIFU when I opened my water bottle on the plane
Doesn’t seem like much but as the title states, I opened my ‘The Coldest’ water bottle on the plane - for context, I’ve got the one that has the straw in it, and anyway, I open it up, and the water literally shoots right out the top of the straw, all over me, and on a woman in the seat behind me. As I’m trying to control the fountain coming out of my bottle and am literally sitting in a puddle of water, I look up to see where the water had gone.
I hear the woman behind me say, “Oh, where did this come from?” And the man beside her says, “Just from in front of you.” I’m drenched, I turned around and I apologise profusely.
Thank god she was chill about it, but I honestly felt so awkward. I spent the remaining 20 minutes before landing, flicking off any excess water on my jeans and searching for other droplets around me. My ass was wet, everything was wet. This has never happened to me before but I have definitely learnt my lesson about pressure in water bottles on a plane, specifically The Coldest water bottle.
TL;DR - The pressure in my bottle created a fountain of water that landed on me and the woman behind me, leaving me drenched and my ass wet af, and the woman wondering where tf the water came from.
PamuamuP: Lesson learned. Pro tip: open bottles very slowly, that way You can close them as soon as the water starts to shoot up. That way You can also control the airflow through the seal and let the pressure dissipate without making a mess :) but hey, happens to everyone! I once opened a bottle of beer on my desk at home that had gone bad and it came out the top, leading to the half of the desk and my pants and the floor being soaked in beer. I was angry, because that would have been a good beer, but the amount that remained in the bottle did not taste good anymore…
coffeetaIk: Ahhhh, thank you for these tips. I’ve definitely learnt my lesson. I guess the most fucked up part was that it flew onto the lady behind me - I thought I got away with it until I heard her talking to the passengers beside her.
| 3 | 15.666667 | |
1651237521 | 1651247722 | t3_ueli35 | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking up my bf’s coworker online
[deleted]
Fireballs44: How can people be this crazy
SmittyManJensen_: Teachers are this crazy, in my experience.
LaCroixPommeBaya: Oh it’s the worst. I started my career working in a hs, the bullying and drama is absolutely ridiculous. Then I became an admin and it’s just as bad. Now I work for a college and there def is drama, but I purposefully avoid people. But he works for an elementary school and the maturity level of the staff is about at that level.
SmittyManJensen_: 99% of the teachers I’ve met gossip about their job lol
LaCroixPommeBaya: Oh absolutely. I ran into a group of women from his job out once (including the above named) and damn that was an icy cold reception. Women are really harsh to each other.
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1651242988 | 1651306610 | t3_uenbfb | t5_2to41 | 592 | _Noci_: TIFU by having a catgirl in my presentation
So.... yeah.
I am a PhD Student and had to give several presentations this week. The last one was today. The text was already written, I just needed to add some generic images, to keep my listeners from falling asleep by a wall of text. I had a picture for nearly every page, except for 2 pages, which I didn't mind.
I told my office buddy that I will maybe add a picture later, but needed to got to the Lab for a moment. As I came back, he told me he added a picture for me (I did not lock my PC, so it was possible), but I thought it was just a joke, since we joke a lot.
So I only had 5 minutes before I needed to join the seminar via Zoom, so I sat down, took a last look at my notes and then logged into the seminar. Everything was fine, then I started my presentation. The first half went good. I was able to speak clearly and was confident in what I was saying.
As you can guess, I then reached a certain slide. Containing information about HOSE-Codes for the prediction of NMR-Shifts. And there was a picture. Not at all related to NMR-spectroscopy. Not at all related to science at all (except if Elon Musk is telling the truth and is really working on genetically modified catgirls, but I doubt that). As I saw the picture I was speechless. I was unprepared for the possibility that my buddy REALLY added a picture - a CATGIRL picture.
From then on, I was kinda lost. I quickly presented all information and went on with the next slide. But my focus was gone. My ability to speak was gone. I was stuttering my way through the rest of the presentation - already preparing mentally for the aftermath of this. As I quickly finished and thanked everyone for their attention, there was silence. A quite uncomfortable silence. After a few moments (which felt like eternity) the professor spoke up and thanked me for my presentation, not mentioning the catgirl at all. The discussion was very short and not a word was lost over the HOSE-Codes and I was not asked to go back to certain slides for clarification (as others had to do before me).
After the seminar was over, I waited for an angry email or anything saying that I will fail the seminar or need to do another presentation. But there was nothing yet.
As I confronted my office buddy about the picture, he just laughed. He had told me that he added a picture. I saw him looking at my presentation as I left for the lab, but didn't think he really changed anything. At least it was no NSFW catgirl - she was clothed after all. But still didn't belong near this presentation.
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TL;DR: I showed my professor what a catgirl is in an official presentation, because I didn't think my office buddy wasn't joking as usual.
Edit: It was [this catgirl](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/qv9hsx/thanks_i_hate_schroedingers_catgirl/)
status_two: So...you gonna put a link to the picture or not?
_Noci_: It was this one: [Schrödingers Catgirl](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/qv9hsx/thanks_i_hate_schroedingers_catgirl/)
Dopecombatweasel: Im hoping it didnt have those dialogue bubbles? Hilarious
_Noci_: It did have. It was exactly this picture.
Dopecombatweasel: l m f a o
foresight_o7: Hehehehaw
| 7 | 84.571429 | |
1651244310 | 1651333959 | t3_uens4o | t5_2to41 | 54 | LostinLies1: TIFU by eating sugar free Peppermint Patties
I love Peppermint Patties. I always have.
My doctor told me to lose weight. I'm old, I'm fat, I'm borderline diabetic, etc.
My wife feels my pain since I'm always bitching how life is sort of crappy without being able to indulge in my favorite foods.
To be nice she purchased me a bag of mini, sugar free peppermint patties.
I was reluctant at first, but last night I ate one. Then another. The bag had about 7. I ate them all.
They were pretty good.
I went to bed.
Flash to 1:30am.
I awakened in a cold sweat with my intestines cramping like a boa constrictor and emitting sounds like a car engine trying to turn over on a wintry day in Michigan.
I barely made it to the hopper.
The liquid feces that exploded from my anus sounded like a water fall splashing in the toilet water. Never has my poop been so liquified.
I sat weak and shaking as every meal I had consumed in the past 7 days exited my body at an electrifying velocity.
An hour later, I stood under the shower, trembling and terrified at what was obviously some sort of light threatening event. I cleaned myself in prep for my trip to the hospital, while contemplating how I was going to have to wake my wife up and tell her that I was dying.
We've had a lot of good years.
I don't know where the sudden flash of recognition came from, maybe it was thinking of my kind wife and how she even bought me sugar free candy because I was miserable...but before waking her to share the news that I was dying, I decided to google 'sugar free peppermint patties diarrhea".
Well.
Apparently one or two is okay, but if you eat more than that, one of the side effects is liquid poop.
I quietly shut my phone, dried off, and went back to bed.
This morning I feel like nothing happened, and I'm 5lbs. lighter.
TLDR: Sugar free candy makes you poop.
TattooedWenchkin: Sorbitol and Malitol are used in colon prep solutions, and are also used in smaller amounts by the food industry as an artificial sweetener. Any sugar-free candy can have this effect. Consider it a hard lesson in portion control.
UseFingerTryBut: Let’s not forget sucralose!
TattooedWenchkin: That has no medical use. It's just Splenda. Any artificial sweetener can cause diarrhea if enough is consumed; I was speaking specifically of those that have clinical uses outside of sweeteners.
Edit: clarification
UseFingerTryBut: Sucralose and lactulose are sugar alcohols used to speed colon motility especially with people that have liver failure to reduce ammonia absorption… but whatever dude.
TattooedWenchkin: Not if there are diabetic contraindications or pancreatic involvement, kidney disease, heart disease, or known alcohol dependence. Since we're misgendering ....but whatever girl.
| 6 | 9 | |
1651245911 | 1651250595 | t3_ueocyn | t5_2to41 | 2 | chinesesoju: TIFU by getting drunk after work
Just want to start this off by saying I made a throwaway account because I'm too embarrassed to post on my real account, and im sorry in advance if I don't get straight to the point. I want to provide some context. but I hope you guys don't see it as unnecessary context
I (18m) have been working at this Chinese restaurant since late June of 2021. I was 17 when I first joined and would work 6 days a week from 10:30am to 10:30pm. As time goes on at me working at the restaurant, I start getting closer to my coworkers. I would go on smoke breaks with the head chef and even one day he surprised me with my own zippo lighter because, I talked about how his gold zippo was really cool. My coworkers and my managers felt like family to me, I don't know if its an asian thing but they always showed that they cared about me. They went above and beyond to help me out. My manager(TY) would drive me to work and back home. If he couldn't do it then another coworker offered to drive me. I expressed my problems within my family and they were more than happy to listen and help me out. Around August to September both managers leave which I will name R and TY, and some coworkers that I will name A and S. So around September a new manager joins which I will name LY.
Around Thanksgiving break, a week before my birthday I get into a really big argument with my mom. The day my mom and her husband were going on vacation, my mom told my brother and I the only rule they have is no guests inside. At the time my mom didn't let my brother drive to school because he didn't have his license yet. We lived about 20 minutes away from the high school because we previously moved. So after school our friend offered to drive us home, and in return we wanted to show our gratefulness that he took the time out of his day to drive us such a long way. So we decided to give him some marijuana syrup that my brother and I tend to use quite often. The friend enters the house my brother pours him up some syrup in a soda, then he drives me to work. When my brother and the friend gets back from taking me to work, the electric doorknob seemed have to change passwords. At this point my brother is very agitated because he knew that it was my mom's husband doing. My mom calls my brother telling him that they changed the password because we broke the rule and "good luck finding a place to stay till we get back." We ended up spending the week at some friends house until they got back. Our friend we were staying at drove us back home, when we entered the house my mom approaches us and says that they need to talk to us. After having a back and forth argument with just to my mom. She demands that she needs to take the phone away. But I wouldn't give it up. Her husband than intervenes the argument stating if I don't want to give up the phone then I need to leave. So I start walking to the front door to put on my shoes. Her husband goes up behind me and puts his hands on me. He started choking me and tries to grab the phone out of my hand. That's when all hell breaks loose, my mom's husband and I start full on fist fighting then grandma joins trying to break it up by having her arms around my arms. My brother goes in trying to get her husband off me. My mom trying to get my brother off him. Eventually my mom, her husband, and my grandma were able to push me out the door. At this point I'm so mad I get on top of my mom's husband car and start kicking the windshield until I hear it crack. The police arrives they get my statement and talks to my mom and her husband. They go over the footage, and I get arrested because I was the primary aggressor and they stated that I lied on my statement because they never saw him chocking me. When I met up with my lawyer a week ago he told me that I was telling the truth. I get to watch the footage and for the first 2 seconds you can see my hoodie and his arms going around my neck.
When I get booked in the jail, I couldn't remember any phone numbers so a police officer writes down my moms phone number on a sticky note. I call my mom the day after asking for my brothers number. She then says she cannot do that because she's afraid he is going to do something stupid. Then I asked if she can bail me out, I have more than enough money in cash and she says no she doesn't want to bail me out. what I didn't know was my brother and some of our close friends were keeping tabs on my booking information, so the minute my bond got posted my brother went to the bondsman with our friends. But knowing my brother, he didn't do it sober. When he arrived to my friend's house they both took edibles. So my brother is in the middle of signing the bond papers, when he gets bombarded from phone calls by my mom. my mom had been nonstop calling him for hours after I called her. My brother got so annoyed that he eventually picked up and my mom lied to him saying she will bail me out. So my brother leaves the bondsman, I call my mom hours later at this point it's around 5pm and I ask to talk to my grandma. My grandma then tells me that she convinced my mom to bail me out. I get bailed out around 8pm, when I enter the car my mom tells me that her husband is scared of having me at the house and at that point im kicked out of my moms house. They drive me to one of their friends house who im really close with. He's been to jail before so he gave me some good advice. He was in the same boat as me at my age. He suggested that I go into the military and start thinking about my future. How the military could give me the chance to travel the world and so on. I then ask him to drive me to the Chinese restaurant because I mentally couldn't stay at his house. Something inside me told me it was too depressing being at that house. I used to see the house all furnished and now it was completely empty but a couch because he was selling the house, after going through a divorce.
When I get to the restaurant, I walk into the kitchen and I just start crying so hard to my coworker(L) as she gave me a hug, asking me what happened and why I was gone for so long. so we went out to the patio and I explained everything to her, she then tells me how she has never trusted my mom and she couldn't believe that she would do that. L then tells me to spend the night at her apartment because I had work the next day. after work L drives me to the store to buy a payphone. It was this shitty AT&T flip-phone I had to buy minutes on. The next day we go to work and L tells me how she will talk to LY about having me stay at the work apartment across the street. After L talks to LY, LY agrees saying I can stay as long as I want but we can't let the owner of the restaurant find out. For some backstory the owner of the restaurant is very shady when it comes to money. He leased a apartment across the street from the restaurant intending the apartment for only chefs and it would also be free for the chefs, So they could work there longer. I eventually move into the work apartment on Thanksgiving day after spending a night at another friends house. I cannot express how grateful I am too all my coworkers I've worked with, another coworker ill name T and her boyfriend D helped me move the little belongings I had to the apartment. Thanks to my brother I was able to have like 10% of my belongings, mainly being toiletry and clothing. I then spend Thanksgiving day with my coworkers, we went out for dim sum then to a dog park. After the day was over, I spent the first night at the apartment. it felt weird, it felt my depression and the emptiness inside me was growing. I explained it to the Chinese chef through google translate and he tells me it will take time for the emptiness to go away. The next day on Black Friday, T and D drive me to the store so I could buy a iPhone after work, but all the stores were closed. So I just ordered one online and it came on time on my birthday. The wifi at the apartment has been out for about 3 months. The owner didn't care to fix it because it would cost money. So I would spend the day off at the restaurant using the wifi. On my birthday I was at the restaurant just playing on my phone when TY and A surprised me at the restaurant for my birthday. What I didn't know was that the chefs made a bunch of food for me so T, D, L, A, TY, LY and some chefs have a little birthday dinner and I felt very happy, that they would do all of this for me. I convince A to take me to the strip club because I wanted to see boobies and the other private part for the first time in person. So after the dinner A takes me to the strip club she used to work at. accompanied by D, T, and L we spent hours at the strip club. After the strip club A takes me back to the apartment and I am thankful for all the things she's done for me.
Fast forward to January, I was working with a coworker that will be named IL. After work T and D asked if me and I wanted to go out to eat at Chinese BBQ. IL says she will only go if I go, so we decided to go. IL gives me a ride to the Chinese BBQ and we stay at the restaurant till 1am. I paid for the whole bill in secret which was like $330, it made me happy that I was able to pay to show my gratefulness for my coworkers help. Around January L and I would get into a handful of heated arguments. T and D tell me that they notice that L has been getting worse over time. One argument with L got so heated that LY intervened and told me to take a smoke break outside. Ever since that argument LY and T tells me that L has been telling LY to fire me and that they don't need me. That im slow, I get mad a lot, and I make a lot of mistakes. T and LY then tell me try not to have L get under my skin and that I need to work on my anger so L doesn't have anything to complain about. The day after Chinese BBQ at work was one of the busiest days, to give context I was a packing host. I would take phone calls, pack the takeout orders, and do the cash register. That night I messed up on a uber eats order forgetting to put fried rice in the order. The customer then calls complaining and I tell him that uber eats support can help him and that he can get a full refund. He says that he doesn't want that and that he's driving to the restaurant to get his fried rice. So the chef makes new fried rice for him and then the LY comes in yelling at me that he already left and they made the fired rice for nothing. After work she tells me that she took me out one day for the schedule. so I was only working 5 days that upcoming week. I don't know what got into me but I got super irritated and just left after hearing that, I was in such a bad mood.
I get back to the apartment and drank an entire bottle of soju this is where I fucked up so hard. I texted T and the LY saying I'm only going to work Saturday and Sunday. I didn't want to see L's face so Saturday and Sunday were the only days I wasn't working with her. I then pass out and go to work the next day. Another coworker which I will call S asks me if I'm working today. I responded with of course I am, S than tells me that she doesn't see my name on the schedule. S hands me her phone and I look at the schedule, My name has been taken off the schedule. So I think to myself "well that's it I guess it was time that I was fired." So I tell S that I guess im fired and she tells me I should just stay and work. I was too stubborn and not in the right mental space at the time. I text IL saying that LY fired me, that I feel so anxious and it felt like I was going to have a anxiety attack. IL tells me I will get through this and tells me not to harm myself. I walk back to the apartment and text LY as an indirect answer if I'm fired. I asked if she wanted me to move out of the apartment. She then says yes but if you don't have another place to stay. At this point im so stressed out, I call my brother and informed him what was going on. He comes to the apartment to help me pack my stuff up. I call my grandma asking if I could stay at her old duplex with her. She agrees and moves out of my aunts house to stay with me at the duplex. The next day IL texts me to check up on me asking if I've ate yet and if I wanted to go eat with her. I then uber to her location and she looked so worried. I tell her what's been going on, for a while now she has known that I haven't been mentally well after going to jail. She tells me that she knows that my brother and I are depressed and she wants to know who the real me is. After getting lunch with IL and talking to her some more she drives me to a computer cafe nearby and tells me she is going to talk to T and see what she can do. I get a text from IL about 2 hours later telling me that I wasn't fired that I was just taken off that weeks schedule. That I should apologize to T and LY not because IL tells me to but because I feel like its the right thing to do. I then text LY that I will stop by the restaurant sometime that week to take to her. When I go to the restaurant and tell her how bad I fucked up and that I'm sorry. LY tells me she doesn't know if I can work there again.
I fucked up so hard. I don't know why I had to think that way back then. It felt like just one big misunderstanding. I wish I just didn't drink that night, I wish I just asked LY directly if I was fired. I fucked up hard, that's something I can never forgive myself. I fucked up my life and looking back I really took it for granted. Now no one from the restaurant talks to me anymore. the last time, IL talked to me was back in February telling me she's glad I'm safe. I apologized to T telling her how sorry I am but I was left on delivered. all my coworkers left me on delivered when I try to apologize. A stopped talking to me around New Years and even blocked me on all social medias out of no where. I fucked up hard I wish I wasn't a burden to the people around me. But even though they don't want anything to do to me, I will be forever grateful for their acts of kindness toward me. I wish I wasn't how I was and being a burden to the people around me. I know learned that people come and go and that nothing is forever. everything is just temporary and I know try to put it in my past. I would be lying if I said it doesn't upset me a little bit.
TLDR: got really drunk one night after a hectic day of work, texted my manager and coworker some things I shouldn't have and thought I was fired and it all went downhill from there..
sorry for the really long post, I wanted to give some context so I hope you guys don't take it as unnecessary context. I felt as all of this leading up to the TIFU topic was necessary for the backstory information. I also have text receipts and screenshots of conversations but I don't know if I want to add it to this post. let me know if I should
edit- change the name "I" to IL to make it read easier
12enchant3: hey i think you’re being really hard on yourself. You were low key being abused by your parents and they sent you to jail! Yeah it’s bad that in a moment of spite you texted them. You need stability in moments of depression and you weren’t getting that. I’m sorry you lost your friends and I hope you can find more but be easy on yourself.
chinesesoju: yea I just wish I was a better person for the people around me. but I learned to accept that all I can do is change for the future
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1651247081 | 1651263936 | t3_ueos0r | t5_2to41 | 7 | umrie: TIFU Sending Dick Pic = Blackmail
Seems to be a common problem with the fellas here no?
Story time: random account tried to follow me on insta, she looked kinda cute so why not, my one buddy also followed her already. Anyways she messages me ,blalalalalal, I add her on Snapchat. Skip all the nonsense,
I sent her my dick
Turns out it wasn’t a girl, pretty much after that I got added to a group chat with girls who I’m close with, a few ex girls n shit. And the person said: hello, I have something to show you and then tagged me (didn’t show the dick pic yet)
Once that happened the person messages me on snap with a literal video of them recording a phone opening my dick pic.
They are requesting$1000 or else it will be going to all of my followers, family, etc. I have deactivated my other socials hoping they won’t find those. The queer bag is currently asleep and is has given me until tomorrow to pay him as I managed to “buy” (no pun intended) some time.
End of story
Firstly, no one call me stupid and retarded, don’t you think I know that already? The reason I send my messily penis picture was because I haven’t been intimate in awhile, and she said she was from far away so fuck it right ? Red flags for everyone but me I guess. Also to add in I think this was the first time I was dm’d first on insta so it got my hopes up.
My plan? Block the account on my family’s accounts when they wake up, delete my insta and snap right after and just vanish off the face of the earth. If anyone ever asks what do I say? Yea that’s my dick, or I was hacked seem to be my best options.
Let me know what you guys think I should do
TL:DR getting blackmailed sending dick pics
danmadeeagle: Is your face in the pic?
Dickere: If it is, send everyone the pic 😂
danmadeeagle: That's an idea, say someone hacked your bank account and is threatening to take $1000 of you don't send one. Or something to that effect.
umrie: Not a bad idea… thanks 😅
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1651210997 | 1651252013 | t3_uef2an | t5_2to41 | 12 | An_Accidental_Ghost: TIFU By accidentally ghosting a girl I liked.
Not today. More like 2 years ago but I'm only feeling the effects of what I caused now.
The cast:
T: The Girl
Me: 18M
Some background: I am. To put it lightly I am not a normal person. I don't make friends easily and can't talk to people well to save my life. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety disorder but since it's undiagnosed I can't say for certain, although not being able to talk to cashiers until 16 is definitely a sign. Anyway back to the story. Due to this abnormality in my human programming there are few people in this world who are interested in talking to me and much less who enjoy holding conversations. I tend to overshare and dump my opinions on people who didn't ask. Not like in an A-Hole way just more of an idk how to talk to people so here's what i've got in terms of conversation. So the few people who approach me are quickly dissuaded from continuing to converse. Nowadays I just warn people beforehand, partially because of this incident but all this is to say when I met T I was not prepared. T was incredibly kind and showed genuine interest in talking to me like no other person would. We would hang out primarily at the school we attended and she was my only real friend at the time. Even when I was a mess of person she would be there. She was my best friend. And then I moved away, not far but enough to change schools. Since this was before we had each others number it was social suicide. Why didn't I ask before I moved? No idea, this is so far in the past everything is super fuzzy. But I remember that I never got it. This effectively stopped our communication for well over a year.
Skipping forward to 2 years ago I got a text. It. was. her. Years of time and multiple phone changes T tracked me down and shot me a text. Why? Because she was worried about me. It sounds incredibly hard to believe because it is. This tracked down my friends who gave her my number which who knows how long that took to ask me if I was ok. I swear just re-living this is making me cringe. Looking back I don't even understand how I could be so oblivious but here I am. I, armed with my complete inability to talk to people text her back. She hadn't changed a bit. Sweetest girl I have ever met. I cannot understate that. The rest of our interaction is a bit fuzzy. I remember going to see the Christmas lights in her hometown (It's Texas we have basically bubble towns connected by highways surrounding the major cities only like 30 minutes apart from eachother). I like my continually incompetent self tends to do overshared way too much during this interaction but I digress.
This where I started to break down. Not literally, I never showed any signs of anything but inside I was losing it. I couldn't figure out what emotions I was feeling while talking with T and what they meant. Which sounds weird, how do you not know what emotion you're feeling? Idk either I'm just so out of touch with my emotions that even defining what I'm feeling is a challenge. Either way this led to that and ultimately led to what your all here for... I ghosted her. Don't ask me how this seemed like a good idea because from what I can remember this was barely a conscious choice I was making. Now, your probably thinking. Ghosting someone is a continued process, not a one time thing. So how did you go 2 years without realizing what you had done. and the answer to that is I didn't think about it. I forgot. While I do not blame my environment 16-18 is a very stressful time in everyone's lives so I kind of just didn't think about it. Anytime the thought of her would come up It would immediately be taken over by something else. That's another thing about me, my head is constantly running at 100 mph. Every thought is an intrusive thought and I have to expend energy to think about a topic for an extended period of time. So for 2 years I lived in a complete bubble with no perception of what I had done or what damage I had caused. That was until about 3 weeks ago. When I started to think about her again, it started as passing thoughts but the frequency began to increase until about 3 days ago. Where it all hit my like an oversized truck. It started with one thought, one thought that you think I would have considered by now but didn't "How did she see this?". This knocked down a series of mental dominoes and in a matter of seconds I was sulking on my bed (Not crying I haven't been able to do that in years. Not even at my late father's funeral. Oh yes we're on that level of emotionally broken). I had just realized what I had done of the first time in 2 years and it was terrible. I didn't realize how much I probably hurt her until then and it hurt. It hurt like nothing I had ever experiences before. I don't remember much from that exact moment but these last few days she has been in my every waking thought. Exaggeration? No, any time I'm not doing something else I'm thinking about her and it hurts every time. I've considered reaching out but reverse searching the last number I had of her's led to a name I didn't recognize. I guess now It's my turn to do the searching only this time I have no leads to go off and no support structure. So why post this then if I have no resolution? I don't know. To get it off my chest mainly, I can't take this alone but I don't know who else to tell but reddit (a platform I promised myself I wouldn't touch ever again but here I am). I won't even tell my own parents out of fear this'll spread to the rest of my family. I'm conflicted. I want to reconnect. To atleast say sorry**^(1)** but I don't want to be recognized and I don't want to tell anyone who could possibly get the word out about this. Even now I'm writing this through Tor out of fear Google will someone screw me over without me realizing it. So I guess that's it. For now, Ill try and keep the this post updated as the story progresses but I'm so broken right now Idek if this is going to be the end of the line or if I'm going to be able to press on. If anyone has an ideas on what to do I'm happy to hear. I'll even take the hate I know I deserve but at this point there's nothing anyone can say that I won't have already told myself.
1: Sorry doesn't feel like it even comes close to enough but it's all I can think of. If any girls are out there who would know how in this situation you would want to be approached please let me know.
TLDR: I ghosted the one girl in my life who actually knew and cared about me and only realized the weight of my actions a few days ago.
TerminallyBlonde: Between your social issues and your issues with understanding your feelings, have you considered autism? Not meaning that in a negative way, but those are the signs that stood out to me
An_Accidental_Ghost: I have actually. I got tested a while back when I was like 14 and it got thrown out. The results were something along the lines of
“You exhibit some to most of the traits but not enough for a diagnosis”
I still can’t tell whether to be pissed about the results or just accept them but considering I have no concrete reason not to trust them I just dropped the idea entirely.
TerminallyBlonde: I was once told something very similar for bipolar disorder. Guess what I wound up having? Bipolar disorder. I could have been spared years if they'd caught it. Not sure what they could do if they did determine you autistic, idk if there's like medication or treatment for that, but finally getting diagnosed bipolar and getting help for it changed my life completely. It's always worth getting a second opinion from someone fresh
An_Accidental_Ghost: I’ll have to look into it at a later date. Unfortunately I have parents that are of the opinion that I am completely normal and there is nothing wrong with me. And all of my inabilities are just “limiting beliefs” so I’ll have to wait some time before I can try again or risk upsetting them. Thank you for the advice, it means a lot.
TerminallyBlonde: Your experiences definitely do not sound normal to me and I suspect you have it a lot harder than those typically around you. Take some pride in making it as far as you have in life and keep it up. You've got more obstacles than many others so don't let anyone make you feel weak or lesser cuz you're kicking their ass, they'd probably fall right over trying to walk in your shoes. I hope you can receive help and improvement with time. Just time and age alone will help. You deserve understanding and patience, from others but also yourself
| 6 | 2 | |
1651251223 | 1651251369 | t3_ueq9h8 | t5_2to41 | 5 | TartBest: TIFU flossing my teeth
Yesterday I tried flossing my teeth for the first time and I decided I would add it into my daily routine all good right? Well today I wake up, brush my teeth and get the floss string. All is going well until I stick the string into my back right tooth, it goes in without any effort or force and I start going back and forth and wall is well. Now I try to take it out... I gently try to lift it out but it seems stuck, I start pulling with more force and it will not get out, I try to remain calm and bring the string to the bottom of the the tooth to the gum and pull there, still nothing. By this point I'm actually panicking I literally spend a solid 20 minutes pulling on the the string which kept ripping leaving the string I had left to pull shorter and shorter which made me panic even more there was even small amounts of blood coming out my mouth but with 1 final pull I managed to get the piece of shit out.
Safe to say I will probably never do that again
TL:DR Floss got hard stuck in my teeth and will never do it again
AnnieBott: If you let go of one side of the string you couldve just pulled it out.
TartBest: I was using both hands on the same side, I swear it would not budge
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1651200721 | 1651271667 | t3_uec58y | t5_2to41 | 7 | wrongIife: TIFU by brushing my teeth
This happened a little over an hour ago.
Ok so I brush my teeth just before bed like everyone else and today was no different. I squeezed the toothpaste tube, it sort of just got out in one piece and rather quickly so it was all over my fingers. Bummer, but not a huge problem. I got a little toothpaste on my toothbrush and washed away the rest from my hands. The consistency was somewhat off and a little slippery? I didn’t think much of it. I brushed my teeth. It had a weird taste; it was bitter but had a nice smell. Just then my mum came to the bathroom, I told her about the toothpaste, she told me this particular one didn’t have a strong taste like others, that’s probably why I had thought it wasn’t normal. You see, I was already tired af and just wanted to sleep as quick as possible so I accepted her take.
She then proceeded to brush her teeth. The second my mom tasted the toothpaste she was like “wtf is this thing, it’s not toothpaste!”
After a few seconds we both locked our eyes on one thing: a hair conditioner bottle with a small opening in the end of a cone shaped lid. (check out pantene’s love your curls bottle’s lid, that’s the kind of lid I’m talking about)
We knew exactly what happened.
You see, my brother loves to mix weird shit together. He mixes hand creams with foot creams to create the ultimate moisturizer, liquid soap with shampoos ‘cause why not and now hair conditioner with toothpaste apparently.
I had brushed my teeth with hair fucking conditioner.
Anyways I found this very funny! So funny that I had to gift him with a dick doodle on his forehead while he’s sleeping!
TL;DR my brother mixed hair conditioner with toothpaste, resulting in me brushing my teeth with hair conditioner.
Edit: Just realized that he put hair conditioner in my teeth whitening kit too. This little shit is asking for it i swear to god
splbm: I see you having awkward interactions with people since your teeth smells like hair conditioner.
wrongIife: Wait until they see my *frizz controlled* teeth with *more defined curls* lmao
splbm: Yeah lmao
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1651252531 | 1651278248 | t3_ueqqx3 | t5_2to41 | 31 | claypuppingtonn: TIFU by telling my gf happy birthday
I (39.5M) have a girlfriend (20F) and we have been dating for almost a year. our relationship has had it's ups and downs but I ultimately do love her and see a future with her. she makes me the happiest guy ever. recently though, she has been upset at me. She hasn't been talking to me for a few days because she saw texts I had sent to my ex about covering her in peanut butter (extra crunchy, jif) and just licking it off (it's an inside joke we've had for years there's nothing weird about it). I thought by now she'd be over it since it was only a joke and she knows I am allergic to peanut butter so I couldn't even lick it off if I wanted to. i wished her a happy birthday and she left me on seen and literally ignored me. I showed up to her birthday dinner we had planned at a steakhouse and she never showed up. I am very upset and hurt that she stood me up on our special day. I was planning on raising a family with her. I don't understand why she's still mad at me, I literally told her happy birthday. should I have added a confetti emoji to my text? pls help I'm very upset and hurt right now as she is my life and my light.
TL;DR my girlfriend is upset because she found me texting my ex about an inside joke and is now making it some huge thing
thatblkman: Why are you 40 dating someone young enough to be your young adult kid?
Far-Selection6003: Seriously creepy. 20 years is way too much. If young enough to be my daughter then no..
thatblkman: I feel like this is a groomer situation no matter how it’s looked at. I’m 41, and anyone in my age group that goes for ‘new adults’ does it bc they’re typically rejected by women in the normal age range for being “bad men” - misogynistic, immature, abusive, etc - and run to the young ones to avoid accountability for their behaviors that lead to rejection.
This is all the way creepy.
builtbybama_rolltide: I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that it’s creepy. I’m a woman the same age as OP (39 not 39.5 🤣) and the idea of dating someone that literally is closer in age to my child than myself just seems so predatory.
I know I have grown up quite a bit more than when I was 20. 20 was about having fun, I wasn’t thinking about the future that’s for sure. I wonder does OP want the “trophy” younger gf? I know at that age if a nearly 40 year old guy hit on me (and they did regularly) I would give them a disgusted look and walk away. Maybe a rude comment about them being a creepy old man because at 20 40 seemed so old. Now I just wish I could go back to 20 knowing what I know now 🤣
kokihi_55: Uh, if you're 39 you're not the same age as OP. He is very specifically 39.5.
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1651252226 | 1651253351 | t3_ueqn0k | t5_2to41 | 13 | XGalacticPyroX: TIFU by getting two massive hickeys
I (19M) went over to one of my friends house and just planned on hanging out and playing some games or something... but obviously that's not what happened.
We got a bit frisky and started making out it was ok for the most part. They started getting a bit more rough and started biting me then sucking my neck...( I don't know why people like getting hickeys they hurt!)
After we were done with that little sesh we continue playing some Mario Kart and she pointed out that she may have gone a bit overboard I assured her it was ok I didn't think it would show up because of my darker completion... I was so so so wrong
About 2 hours later I left and noticed my neck hurt, looked in the crappy car mirror and saw two huge bruises on my neck. I died for about 5 seconds and then started panicking. (I live with my mom and grandma and my grandma runs a very strict religious household. So it would've been pretty bad for me to come to dinner with my crystal cage necklace, pierced ears and now purple neck).
Luckily I was by a Walgreens so I bought some make up to put over it. That covered it up a bit but not much. So I went home, went straight to my room and tried doing that whisk thing off of TikTok. OH GOD IT WORKED A BIT! Now the
makeup covers it all the way.
So far so good no one has noticed which is a big relief but I really hope this goes away quickly.
TL;DR I got two massive hickeys from my friend and I might pass away.
xInsomniCatx: if done properly they arent supposed to hurt, it sounds like your "friend" didn't know what they were doing and got too rough lmao
XGalacticPyroX: Lmao, well rip my neck I guess 😂😂😭
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1651253190 | 1651322562 | t3_ueqzai | t5_2to41 | 220 | 8787a_10: TIFU when I realized my blinker lights burned out after I arrived at the DMV to take my final driving test
God really loves to spiritually screw me and give me bad luck at the worst times. I was on my way to the DMV to take my final driving test, the blinker lights worked fine and everything was fine and dandy. I arrive at the DMV and park. I check in and soon after the driving instructor arrives. He tells me to signal so he can see my blinkers are working and all of a sudden they aren’t working! My blinker lights burnt out when I arrived to the DMV! I couldn’t freaking believe it. Now I can’t take the test and I wasted $140 CAD for nothing! They told me that when I reschedule that they will pay half of the fee, which isn’t fair! I demand that I can reschedule my test without any more fees! This wasn’t my fault! It was just a twist of fate! I scheduled to take this test 1 month ago and today was the soonest date, now I gotta wait even longer.
TL;DR blinker lights chose the absolute worst time to burn out, causing me to waste lots of money and now I have to reschedule the test.
hills_for_breakfast: Sorry, it *was* your fault because you didn’t have spare bulbs in your car. This was a teaching moment for you and might save you from a ticket in the future.
Carry spare bulbs in your car and know how to replace them. If you get pulled over for a faulty bulb tell the officer you will fix it on the spot.
A_Boltzmann_Brain: Let’s take a poll. (1) if you actually carry spare light bulbs in your car or (2) if you don’t and the thought has never occurred to you.
2
Sirix_8472: 1 - all the way
Front and rear bulbs and repair tape, jumper cables&tool kit, spare tire and a pressure sealant set, water bottles, snacks, first aid kit, 2 flashlights and 2 usb battery packs for charging phones etc. 30cmx100cm pack that just sits in the boot of the car. A change of clothes, towel and few toiletries.
A_Boltzmann_Brain: I want you on my next road trip and I think we should take your vehicle
Sirix_8472: It seats 5, and I have done many trips with friends. My last trip between our group we took 3 cars(2 rentals and mine). One rental blew a tyre and we used the pressure sealant kit when they arrived (they had used their but didn't work) and before we left I had to give the other a jump.
Most of this stuff is really cheap, like first aid kit is €15, jumper kit is roughly the same. The rest you just gather. Sealant kit is 35-50 I think. But if you have one tyre go, you could have a second coming(assuming you traveled over a hazard, normal wear and tear shouldn't cause blow out if you maintain your vehicle).
A_Boltzmann_Brain: All great advice and I appreciate it. Maybe we will do that road trip one day but if not, all the best to you, your family, and friends in life
| 7 | 31.428571 | |
1651253802 | 1651296064 | t3_uer6y1 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Some_user34: TIFU by writing my thoughts in my notes on my phone
To be precise, this happened yesterday, but it still bothers me, so I thought that writing it here would be a good idea.
So to begin with, several days ago my gf(21f) called me(20m) to live with her for a week since her family left for a small trip (she had classes at university so she stayed). She was alone with only her cat so she decided that it would be a great idea to live together during this week.
For context: we both are studying at different universities in the same city, however, I'm living in the dorm with my roommate (18m) since my family is not staying in the country where I am currently studying, and she is living with her family.
On the first day, everything was going good until we had a small argument (no details pls). I am the type of person who often writes his thoughts and everything that comes to his mind in notes (Google notes to be precise) on the phone. I started doing this since high school and it really helped me to control my anger and my emotions in general, and over the years this (maybe strange) habit stayed with me. To clarify I was mad at her so, as usual, I opened my phone and wrote everything I was thinking at the moment in my notes so that I could calm down and do the first move to apologise because I really hate being mad at each other for stupid reasons and it really doesn't matter who was wrong or right. I apologised, we buried the hatchets, and everything went good.
Fast forward 3 days, she randomly remembered that on that day, she saw me writing something on my phone and assumed it was me writing my thoughts in my notes. She was right, and she knew about this small habit. I don't usually show her what I am writing there, but this time she started asking me to show her what I wrote because she wanted to know what was on my mind on that day. I refused several times and told her that we already discussed that, so there is no need to read it. Besides, we could just talk about it, and I could tell what was on my mind. But she kept asking me, so finally, I gave up. The problem is that when I am mad, I often write very rude things there, and it also sometimes applies to the ones I love (I know I am an asshole). Moreover, I never read again what I am writing, and it is never meant to be read by anyone else. But since she wanted it very much I gave it to her. However, before that, I warned her that everything I wrote there isn't true and it was written in a bad mood. Big mistake. She was very upset, and I spent the whole day apologising for that and trying to get everything back to normal.
At the end of the day, it seemed that we'd been through it but on the morning of the next day she still was in a bad mood. To my questions about why she was upset, she responded that she is stressing because she has a lot to study (this is the final year of university for her so she also has to write her diploma thesis and while her family weren't home it was a good chance to be more productive). However, I still could tell that she was also partly upset because of what happened the day before. The thing is that while we were living together, we also skipped some classes at university to spend some more time together. I felt guilty because of that.
Second FU: I proposed going back to the dorm so that she could stay alone and study. She agreed.
I know I am the one who proposed it, and I don't mind it, but it is just sad to realize that I am causing her so much trouble and that we just can't live together in harmony. This was our second experience of this kind, and the first one didn't go any better. For now, things are kind of awkward, and I don't know what exactly I'm supposed to do. Her family is coming back tomorrow, so there is really nothing to think of, but I still think we could also spend the last 2 days together.
TL;DR was mad at my gf because of a small argument and wrote about it in my notes. She read it several days later and got upset.
scottpilgrimVs: Honestly I don't think you really did anything wrong. It does depend on what you wrote but from how it sounds you have a healthy coping mechanism for yourself and if your gf cant understand that then shes in the wrong.
ihih_reddit: >I don't think you really did anything wrong
OP showed girlfriend private notes. With harsh things on there. About her.
But it was a naive mistake, so I can't blame OP for that. Hopefully it doesn't happen again because these situations are rough
scottpilgrimVs: Who hasn't had harsh thoughts though? Yes its bad but everyone does it. I think OP writing them down instead of saying them to her is the better alternative. And he specified he had anger problems that writing helps him with.
ihih_reddit: >Who hasn't had harsh thoughts though?
No one. OP isn't wrong for that or writing them down. I understand that. OP was "wrong" for showing girlfriend. OP broke their own personal rule of not showing anyone the notes and how else was she meant to react after reading those things that were written about her?
scottpilgrimVs: Oops my bad man I didn't understand you.
ihih_reddit: No worries
| 7 | 3.571429 | |
1651254053 | 1651285621 | t3_uera4n | t5_2to41 | 98 | Flayvorz: TIFU by ripping ass on the 3rd date
I (22M) have been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and things have been going really good. We had a couple of dates in the last couple weeks and so we decided to have a movie night at her place on the 3rd one. We got through some movies when I had to pee from all the water I had during the movies so I went into her bathroom. This is where it starts to go downhill, she has one of those personal bathrooms that connect to the master bedroom and it’s pretty small and you can hear everything coming from the bathroom while you’re in the bedroom. So I walk in and started doing my business then I sensed a fart brewing, I felt like I had to let it out so I attempted to make it slow and quiet. To my surprise, it was the exact opposite. It was such a forceful fart it felt like an earthquake came from my ass, probably loud enough to hear from across the apartment. Now my fellow guys, you know how it feels to let out that fart after a long date when you’ve been holding it in. This is where I fucked up, I let it out basically right in front of her. After immediately feeling the regret, I had to work up the courage to open that door that she would be sitting right behind. Neither of us mentioned it once I came back out but there is no doubt in my mind that she heard that rumble clear as day.
TL;DR: tried to let a quiet fart out in a girls apartment bathroom on the 3rd date, ended up being extremely loud and long.
oniferus_3: You gotta do it while flushing simultaneously bro cmon now
ShadowMonkey987: What if its longer than the flushing?
oniferus_3: When you utilize flush cover you go full bore. 100% effort. It’ll be over before you know it.
ShadowMonkey987: But what if on the small chance its longer or louder than the flushing?
oniferus_3: You can always throw in a cough for good measure
ShadowMonkey987: Cough isn't going to cover a thunderous fart XD
| 7 | 14 | |
1651254508 | 1651270749 | t3_uerfqe | t5_2to41 | 465 | throwawaygirl1001001: TIFU by surprising my coworker with a low cut top
This happened earlier this morning. I work in an office environment and one of my best work buddies is a guy. He's cool, treats me as an equal and most importantly doesn't hit on me. He's almost ten years older than me, married and has a kid. We always share office gossip, go to lunch together and the sort. I've met his wife on more than one occasion and even been to his house for BBQs and other events. His wife is great too and occasionally go out with her. Everything is strictly platonic.
Today, after work I'm going out on a date so I'm wearing slightly sexier clothes than I normally wear, including a low cut, form fitting top. I went over to his cube to say hi as I normally do and I lean over the cube wall like I always do completely forgetting what I'm wearing (I'm also a little bigger than average). They are these half height walls, just a little taller than the desk. He was busy working on something facing the other way at this computer but when he turned, he caught an eyeful. Nothing fell out or anything, but I did catch him off guard that he was startled and immediately looked at my face and stood up. I realized almost immediately what happened and stood up straight and said I'll talk to him later and walked quickly away. I haven't seen him since and he hasn't said anything as well. Now I made things awkward between us and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR - Gave my best friend at work an eyeful and now we are both avoiding each other
LipstickRevenge: No big deal. There's always that first time a male colleague/acquaintance has that "oh my God, you're actually a real girl!" moment. Nothing to be awkward about, just talk to him like normal, as I'm sure he will with you.
mrgreyeyes: I think he already thought this 100 times before this moment. No biggie, just akt normal.
It will only become awkward when you make it awkward.
throwawaygirl1001001: We once went to drug store during lunch and I had no problem buying tampons in front of him. He even pulled out his wallet and gave me a coupon. He was going grocery shopping after work and his wife uses the same brand. He had two coupons.
I don't know why i feel awkward with this situation.
Dzyu: By acting awkward about it you're just making things worse. What if he starts thinking that maybe you want more, but chickened out and perhaps he should make a move?
Short_Source_9532: Man, this man got awkward for nearly getting flashed and Reddit already thinks he’s about to start and affair😂😂😂
Idori666: Yeah, people are being silly.
| 7 | 66.428571 | |
1651254838 | 1651283385 | t3_uerju0 | t5_2to41 | 55 | _black_milk: TIFU by smoking peanut skins
This didn't happen recently, maybe 16 years ago?
&#x200B;
When I was younger I was very heavily into experimenting with various substances. Being a minor with no car however, limited my access to a supply of any sort. Like many teenage boys I was pretty sure I was invincible and willing to try anything.
&#x200B;
I had found a copy of something similar and equally dubious to the Anarchist Cookbook, on it related to drugs. How to refine them, tell their quality, produce them, etc. One particular chapter in the book had a section dedicated to "Lesser Known and Legal Mind Altering Substances."
&#x200B;
What I am about to tell you, if you are well versed in the world of "legal highs," will reveal just how full of shit this "compendium" was. The first entry into legal highs was banana peels. Yup. I'll repeat that for you, ***banana peels***. I've eaten a lot of bananas in my life and never once thought "holy shit, this is some primo stuff; I'm wrecked." But youth is not saturated in logic.
&#x200B;
The instructions called for peeling a banana and then removing the little strands that stick to the inside of the peel and the banana, putting them in a pot, heating until brown, and then smoking the end product. Not a single thing happened, as you probably already assumed. Other than a very unpleasant cough.
&#x200B;
I was not the sort of teenager to be deterred so easily. I figured I must have done something wrong and moved onto the next listed legal high: peanut skins. \\\_(ツ)\_/
&#x200B;
The instructions were far more specific than those for the banana, leading me to believe that this was in fact a legit legal high that I could not fuck up. It called for unroasted and unsalted peanuts that still had the skin. It specifically called for Spanish peanuts. It instructed the user to peel all the skins off the peanuts, let them rest in direct sunlight for 24 hours, then crush and smoke the skins.
&#x200B;
I had a friendly who was equally adventurous who agreed to take the journey with me.
&#x200B;
We met at a local park and sat on the bleachers. We had to have looked suspicious as hell as it was 10:30am on a school day and two kids in pulled over hoodies sitting on a bleacher in an empty park with their backs to the road.
&#x200B;
We decided to flip a coin to see who would go first. I initially called tails but as it was in the air I switched to heads, secretly hoping my friend (we'll call him D.) would lose the coin toss and go first. I should have stuck with tails.
&#x200B;
I loaded up my cheap gas station bowl, the type with a screw on lid, and took a puff. Nothing. I took another puff. Nothing.
&#x200B;
D. swipes the pipe from me saying I must be doing it wrong (how the hell can you fuck up doing something that shouldn't be done?). He takes a couple puffs, looks down at his feet in defeat and utters a "shit" under his breath.
&#x200B;
We looked at each other and then laughed at how ridiculous we had been. I mean we were young, dumb, and full of other stuff but even in the back of our minds I think we knew this was a fruitless endeavor.
&#x200B;
Then it hit, mid laugh. A sort of burning sensation in my chest, like someone had snuffed out cigars all over my lungs.
&#x200B;
"D... D... yo," I said struggling between breaths. "Does your... chest?" I couldn't even finish the sentence.
&#x200B;
I looked in his eyes and realized he was experiencing the same sensation I was.
&#x200B;
We tried to talk to each other to calm ourselves down, but each word felt like napalm filling our lungs.
&#x200B;
Alas, the peanuts were not done with us. After a few agonizing minutes of wondering if we were going to die on the bleachers (and dear lord what our parents would think) the pain subsided.
&#x200B;
"What the fuck was tha..." And suddenly my heart had decided it was going to beat as fast as it could while stabbing itself wildly. I clutched my chest and collapsed.
&#x200B;
"Hey, you..." and then down went D.
&#x200B;
We sat there for what could have been half an hour, clutching at our chests, struggling to breath, trying to get our heart rates lower by trying to think calmly while every alarm in our body was screaming "GAME OVER STUPID."
&#x200B;
During this time people walked by, either with their kids, or dogs. One stopped, looked at us, and called us junkies. They proceeded to tell us we were the scum of the earth and the reason society was collapsing. Very uplifting message when you think you're about to never see your loved ones again.
&#x200B;
Then, almost as quickly as it had come on, it stopped. D. and I looked at each other, knew there was nothing either of us could say at that time. We went our separate ways. We never told our parents and both of us slept for nearly 14 hours once we got home. I have no clue what exactly was happening physiologically other than our bodies threatening to quit due to abuse. I've yet to meet someone else who tried the same thing, but let me tell you: DON'T!
&#x200B;
TL;DR - Young and dumb. Tried smoking peanut skins to get high. May have had a mild heart attack as a result.
--Dominion--: You got that off the anarchist cookbook didn't you!? lol yeeeeah you did haha
_black_milk: I had a copy of that, but don't recall seeing the peanuts. I do think the banana thing was in there.
This was some text document by someone who claimed to be a big contributor to Erowid.
adzling: we did the banana strips and peanuts when we had a dry weed spell in college, like 25 years ago.
didn't work for us either ;-)
_black_milk: OMG you're the first person I've met to try the peanut thing.
How are we alive? Lol
adzling: persistence.. haha
_black_milk: I think my mom called it "unfathomable ignorance." But potato podayto. lol
| 7 | 7.857143 | |
1651250246 | 1651274467 | t3_uepx1i | t5_2to41 | 57 | GFluidThrow123: TIFU By not understanding the extent of what trans people go through
So this is more of something that I've FU'd over the last...idk...10+ years?
I've always been fairly liberal. I have friends and acquaintances from all walks of life, including trans and non-gender-conforming people. I work in fields where liberals are fairly common, but we have a mix of people for sure. And I've always just treated everyone equally.
Several years back, a friend of mine started to get very defensive when our group talked about trans people in any capacity. It became clear quickly that they might be transgender and, sure enough, she came out to us about 6 months later. We did what we could to be understanding and accepting of her. We were more conscious of our language and tried to compliment her as she continued on her journey.
But despite what we did to accept her, she continued to find new friends and stopped discussing hobbies and interests we had always shared. She became more and more distant and I wasn't really sure why. And she became downright aggressive with us some days. So eventually, our friendship fizzled and that was that.
Well, recently I found that I was feeling some things that I hadn't previously recognized. I started wondering what it would feel like to be a woman and even went out to an LGBTQ+ bar dressed as a woman - full makeup, wig, dress, heels, etc. And, well, I felt great. I won't go into a ton of detail there as it's not relevant here, but feel free to check my offmychest post in my history if you want more context.
Well, as I've been digging into more about who I am, I've come to realize my own F-Up.
Discovering yourself this late in life (I'm 34) isn't just hard. It's excruciating. You're questioning everything you've ever known about yourself and begin to go through periods of anxiety, loathing, self-doubt, and tons of other extreme emotions. And when you look at yourself in the mirror, sometimes you feel downright sad and can't turn yourself around.
And then, looking at the effects of hormones? My lord. It's a full-on 2nd puberty. Your mood, emotions, and even interests can change on a whim. You're physically experiencing the world in a different way.
So that's where my F-Up is. I had no idea that you could change, as a person, quite so much. And if I had known, I would have done more for my friend and been more understanding. And while I'm not calling her blameless here, I wish I had known. And that's also why I'm telling you all this story. I want you all to know as well.
And then, when I tried to talk about this elsewhere, I was banned from some subreddits and started to notice more and more of the misguided hate targeted at trans people. Entire groups would rather ban the topic entirely rather than deal with blocking and banning the bigots, effectively silencing trans voices while the bigots get their way.
TL;DR: I didn't know how difficult transitioning was until I started to question my own gender identity. And no matter how empathetic we all are to transgender people, it's probably scarier and harder than you even think.
Edit: The voting response to this post is a perfect example of what I'm referring to.
Deanna_Z: I guess it's a very private topic. We are taught to patition off "unacceptable" thoughts, and even bringing up subjects can be uncomfortable. Even with the best of intentions. Someone has to be ready to accept them self before they can be accepted by others.
I hope your transition is going well. I always wanted to, but maybe not badly enough.
GFluidThrow123: I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do yet. I'm not transitioning at the moment and I'm not totally sure it's what I'd want. But just having experienced these thoughts and emotions led me down some rabbit holes and I have a totally different perspective of it all now.
It's definitely an incredibly private topic. I just wish people knew more about it. I always understood it wasn't a choice. But the situation is so much harder and more emotional than just that.
Good luck on your journey as well. I hope you find what you need. Just don't hold yourself back to make others happy. Be you.
SlytherinSilence: You don’t have to choose!!! Some people identify as non-binary, agender, genderfluid/genderqueer. Gender is not a binary :) be you!
| 4 | 14.25 | |
1651258121 | 1651260876 | t3_uespb0 | t5_2to41 | 54 | Oy-of-the-Katet: TIFU by assuming that my coworker was still pregnant
This just happened like an hour ago, and I am dying of cringe. I am writing this underneath the rock I crawled under.
I work in a large industry, and we get free box lunches for the summer (long story). The choices are hot or cold: whatever gets made hot that day, or a sandwich.
My boss and I picked up the last two hot lunches. Behind us comes in two collegues from other departments (I don't see them often), and one of them used to work in my department, but she transferred out because she was pregnant and couldn't work in my department anymore (we work with carcinogenic chemicals). Let's call her "Jane." Last time I saw Jane, she was super pregnant.
So Jane came in wearing a BIG PUFFY COAT, and she was kinda bummed that the hot lunches were gone. I asked Jane wanted me to take a cold lunch and give her my hot lunch, assuming she was still pregnant. She then politely refused, and said it was fine. I, being the IDIOT that I am, said "Alright, I just didn't know if you could eat lunch meat or not." To which Jane replied "Oh I can, I'm not pregnant anymore." Guys, I practically ran back to my department and I am sitting here dying of cringe.
TL;DR - I offered to switch lunches with a woman wearing a BIG PUFFY COAT whom I thought was still pregnant so she didn't have to eat lunch meat. She was not still pregnant.
DarkAthena: Seriously. I don’t see the cringe here. Did you say something else?
Oy-of-the-Katet: I mean, I assumed she was still pregnant, and she just had her baby. I feel like I called her big on accident, but I didn't mean it like that. I just hope I didn't hurt her feelings
DarkAthena: Did she act upset or anything?
Oy-of-the-Katet: No, she just politely corrected me, and said the coat makes it look like she is still pregnant, but she is not. I hope she wasn't offended, but I honestly couldn't tell.
cpt_morgan___: You could always privately apologise to her. But i’m sure she doesn’t care anymore.
| 6 | 9 | |
1651258175 | 1651258753 | t3_uesq04 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by possibly losing my father's death ceritificate
[deleted]
bob_dilla: You should be able to get another copy from the County (assuming you’re in the U.S.)
Brush_my_teeth_4_me: Within the same day of requesting it?
RandoCalrissian11: Nothing is every that easy with government work. If it was private sector it could be done in minutes, but good luck even getting someone to know what a death certificate is.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1651259346 | 1651299274 | t3_uet4xx | t5_2to41 | 47,692 | [deleted]: TIFU By communicating with my wife
You know how one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship is communication?
That thought was on my mind this morning when I woke up next to my wife. The morning sunlight made her skin glow with an aura I'm sure one could only see through my eyes.
I shuffled over to her side of the bed, trying to be as gentle as I could. I wanted to preserve that moment but I couldn't resist the urge to be closer to her.
I settled in with my head laying next to hers and looking directly into her beautiful blue eyes. Her closed lids could never hide what I know to be the most lovely pair of eyes I've ever seen.
She must have felt me there because her eyes began to slowly open.
Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more content in my life, she smiles at me.
I smile right back at her and with the thought of communication on my mind I promptly said " You don't let me spoon with you while we sleep because you'll fart on my dick right?"
She hasn't spoken to me since.
TLDR: I asked my wife if she was afraid of farting on my dick.
Wife won't talk to me.
kingferret53: Mine will fart on me then laugh so hard she's gasping for air. Lol
suitable_: Looks like I just found my husband's Reddit account!!
kingferret53: Sounds like you have the same humor as my wife lol
Slow_Abbreviations27: If you like pina colada and farting on your mans junk
Wallythegreater: If you’re not into junk food, you are into black beans
ottoRD: If you like farting loud at midnight
pukesonyourshoes: Like a loon on the make
MisterUltimate: Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Dez_gaming: Come with me and flatulate
| 10 | 4,769.2 | |
1651261702 | 1651314886 | t3_uetyfp | t5_2to41 | 27 | MarvelAnon: TIFU by having my grandma going Karen on the school Because i lied.
I fucked up. REALLLLYYYYY bad. Im seventeen and go to college (last year of high-school) and I got in too deep on a lie. Basically ive been depressed as fuck and skipped college every single day this week. Well the school sends my grandma an email each week about my attendance. She nearly had a heartattack when she saw how many hours i had missed. I made up a lie and said that there was a glitch in the system and my progress tutor was sorting it out so theres nothing to worry about. I added a few extra details to make it sound legit as possible. Well she ended up emailing one of the deputies about it and now I’m fucked. Thank god its Friday because now i have the weekend to decide wtf to do. Im so far into this lie i dont know if coming clean is even an option anymore. I mean my sister is involved in the lie, my friend, my tutor. I just needed to get that off my chest but im open to any solutions you guys might have.
TL;DR i made up a really bad lie about why i skipped school for a week, im probably going to get into a lot of trouble.
yoloxolo: Going deeper into the lie isn’t going to work. There’s one way out and you know it. Own up.
Velghast: There is a way but it's messy
| 3 | 9 | |
1651261754 | 1651267099 | t3_uetz24 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally liking a very old post from my crush
[deleted]
yoloxolo: Why is it bad you liked an old post? Just be honest. We all scroll thru folks old posts and stuff. I don’t think this is that big of a deal.
But. No one wants someone who’s obsessed with them. Try to find some hobbies or something to occupy your mind. It’ll be better for ya.
man-who-says-pickle: The problem is I see her rarely.... When i'm with her I behave like a normal human being. I show her the best version of myself... I can't even enjoy my hobbies anymore
yoloxolo: Maybe talk to a therapist or a professional. This doesn’t sound healthy. You need to be functional as an individual.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1651263971 | 1651272723 | t3_ueur3w | t5_2to41 | 22 | Natural-Order2093: TIFU by not washing my feet
For years I had the problem of my feet stinking all the time. I put it down to excessive sweating, but no matter what I tried, the stink was never gone. Even when something seemed to work the smell would return after few days.
I thought the problem was with my footwear.
I washed my shoes often and the smell from shoes would go for some time, but again it would return. I washed my socks after every use. Yet, the stink persisted.
The other day I was reading a random thread where someone said they had learned to wash their feet too late, and it was like a lightbulb moment.
I immediately went and scrubbed and put soap on the underside of my feet and cleaned it well. I noted that the stink was gone.
It never returned. I wash my feet everyday now.
I realized in all these years I took shower everyday and washed everything - except the bottom of my feet. Dumb move.
I feel so stupid that I never washed my feet, never even thought to despite being a 'neat freak' as my mother calls me. It never occurred to me that bacteria could reside under feet.
TL;DR : I didn't wash the bottom of my feet with soap for years, leading to stinky feet and realized it waaay late.
nik-cant-help-it: If you grew up in the 80’s, you were mostly left to look after yourself. It’s not surprising that you could have learned something incorrect & just never thought of it.
I used to have really bad armpit skin. Like blisters & such, because I was super allergic to the deodorant that was purchased for me without my input.
It wasn’t until I was on my own that I figured out what was causing it
Natural-Order2093: Yes, something like this. Grew up in 90s though.
Mum never taught me to put soap on bottom of feet, but as a kid I would frequently scrub my feet on rough stone (like pumice) and I think that was the reason my feet weren't as stinky in childhood.
But that stopped after school, and I guess I never quite put two and two together.
andrewta: The people downvoting the comments in this thread are the same people that think that everything they know everyone knows.
When they are confronted with something they don’t know, they act like “well no one knows that”, or “well ok a few people know that but basically no one knows that info”. They can’t figure out, there are solid reasons for not knowing certain info.
Natural-Order2093: Yeah even I am confused at the downvotes hehe.
I am very hygienic generally, so I was surprised myself that I didn't figure it out sooner.
I always washed well in between my toes, so I suppose that was the reason it wasn't too stinky or anything, and the daily showers may have contributed in the way that the soapy water probably cleaned my feet.
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1651264572 | 1651268796 | t3_ueuyjw | t5_2to41 | 39 | cumonmyfacebrudda: TIFU by faking an Indian accent for 3 years
I've been debating making this post for a while now. It's late for me as I write this and I've got nothing better to do anyways, so here goes.
I am of Indian ethnicity. I didn't grow up in India, but have been living here since 2017, and plan on living here for the next few years as well.
I started university here, and thought it would be funny if I did an Indian accent for a semester and reverted back to the way I speak normally in the second semester as if nothing had happened*. Unfortunately, when the second semester started, I was initially sick for the first few weeks, and stayed inside without interacting with many people.
And then the world went into lockdown and we got sent home, where I have been finishing university.
Over the past couple years I really haven't had to interact with people from my university much, faking an indian accent for a few moments when I had to speak in classes or for a couple hours whilst calling friends was no problem.
And here's where the fuck up starts. I met two of my closest friends in college. We've all been through a lot together, and I'm moving in with one of them later this year. I'm genuinely scared about how me telling him will be received- because faking an accent for a few hours is easy. Faking it 24/7 is not. I genuinely don't know what to tell my friends lol.
I've also fucked up because I was planning on leaving India by 2025, which I'm still on for. Unfortunately, the field I'm going to work in is a lot smaller than I had realized. Even globally, everyone knows someone who knows you. So I'll deal with that problem when it comes up.
Plan your pranks wisely, people.
*I speak a couple Indian languages (we have 22 official languages excluding dialects and smaller regional ones), and usually speak hindi with people, so working the pronounciation into the way I speak English wasn't a problem for me. When I mentioned to people that I grew up outside India they were genuinely surprised that I sounded like a native hindi speaker
TL;DR: thought faking an Indian accent in India would be funny for a semester in college. Ended up being way longer than that. Dug myself into a hole I'm too awkward to get out of now.
Booskop89: After reading that title, my mind made me read the whole story in an Indian accent, lol.
Synchronizedsquatch: Same here.
| 3 | 13 | |
1651264005 | 1651267188 | t3_ueurix | t5_2to41 | 86 | CatTaxDodge: TIFU by not realizing all my problems had a common cause
Events did not all happen today and I don't even remember in what order they happened, let alone over what time period, but let's say it was over a matter of weeks.
There's not a delicate way of putting this, but my bathroom was starting to smell like urine. Being the man of the house, I figured that this was likely my fault somehow, perhaps a stream ricocheting undetected in the middle of the night? Even the best of us has an occasional accident, as Bart Simpson once said. So I went and cleaned every surface and even used baking soda water to pour into crevices where some stray urine could have gone. However, every time, the place still smelled like urine. Fortunately, my girlfriend wasn't smelling it, so it wasn't my most pressing concern.
Besides, her bathroom etiquette wasn't perfect either. She showered nights, and sometimes left the bathmat so wet that it was still somewhat damp the next morning. I was already in the habit of never stepping on the bathmat, though, so it didn't bother me much, and, anyway, "Please stop using the bathmat as a bathmat," wasn't a request that I felt comfortable making.
The third bathroom-related problem was a one-off thing... or so I thought. One night, after we'd gone to bed, the cat had gone into the bathroom... and somehow closed the door. Unable to get himself out, he eventually peed on the bathmat, which I confirmed by feeling it. (The bathmat is thick and dark blue, so sight alone couldn't confirm it.) It took a while to get the smell out, using first vinegar, then baking soda, then detergent. But eventually it was clean again, enough for our purposes anyway.
Then one morning, I accidentally stepped foot on the bathmat, and it was absolutely soaked. And it all clicked. The cat had been peeing there for weeks, figuring that it worked so well the first time and thus must be the place to pee. After all, it likely still smelled like pee to him.
We're getting a new bathmat. I wanted a white one - so we could immediately see if this happened again - but my girlfriend prefers the aesthetics of the old one. The one the cat liked peeing on. So I predict another urine-soaked bathmat in my future. Good thing I got into the habit of never using it!
tl;dr: I had a smelly bathroom, a wet bathmat, and a cat with a history of peeing in the bathroom, but it took me a while to put it all together.
UmbraLuna_285: I know this isn't a subreddit where advice is given but you may want to use an enzymatic cleaner for the urine and cat repellent.
(and I had a similar problem recently with these pink dots in the hallway. cat had a bladder infection and I am way to stupid to notice . The pink dots were blood from the infection)
McJock: > I know this isn't a subreddit where advice is given
I wouldn't worry, my friend - the mere fact that advice isn't sought doesn't prevent 99% of Redditors giving it
NukeWarz: what else would we do?
"that's cool op"
| 4 | 21.5 | |
1651251591 | 1651266967 | t3_ueqebe | t5_2to41 | 10 | Swollwonder: TIFU by Trying to go Outside to Boost My Mood
So this happened about a month a half ago but I’m still very much in the middle of it as you’ll find out.
So I was seeing a girl who I was kinda dating, kinda wasn’t and I was not quite getting what I needed out of the relationship due to her being emotionally unavailable. I was really upset about it because I had really wanted it to work and it just seemed like signs were pointing us in the opposite direction. The weather was finally warming up and starting to represent spring so to try to distract myself from her I told myself to go outside and enjoy the weather. Get some sunlight, get that natural mood booster going, all that stuff.
Well one of the things I love(d) to do outside is ride my [One Wheel](https://www.longboarderlabs.com/wp-content/uploads/images/products/products-onewheel-pint-1200x1200sand.jpg). If you know what this is you can skip this paragraph. For those who don’t, it is a self balancing, self propelled electric scooter. You control it with the front foot, leaning forward to go faster, backwards to stop, and side to side to turn. It also reaches speeds of 20 mph or 30 kph for non Americans. It’s close to snowboarding and a lot of fun.
So I’m riding my one wheel outside, partially succeeding in my goal of forgetting my love life problems. Weathers great, having fun, life’s good. Now I would like to point out that I’ve had this thing for over a year. I have good balance in general and I’m also a good rider. The board randomly begins accelerating. I lose my balance which only makes the board behave more erratically because it’s controlled by balance, it’s one design flaw should things go wrong. Next thing I know I’m completely parallel with the ground going 20 mph. I land onto asphalt square on my hip.
At first the pain isn’t that bad. As long as I don’t move I’m doing good. I was hoping that the muscles were just cramping up due to the impact and they would eventually relax and I could get up no worse for wear.
This was not the case and I would soon begin the most painful experience of my life.
I eventually called for an ambulance as I had no way to move let alone stand up and was taken away on a stretcher. I would go to the hospital where it was determined that I had severely fractured my femur. [Here are the X-rays, they’re not particularly graphic but if you’re very very squeamish you might skip them](https://imgur.com/a/0RzGbmV). I had surgery the next day and ended up being in the hospital for 8 days on a lot of pain meds. My surgeon said these breaks tend to be healed in 2 to 3 months but due to how my break is we’re looking closer to a 6 month total recovery time.
The aftermath is that I now have to walk with a walker, I have probably at least $4500 in medical bills due, and I really cannot be independent and rely on family in the area for a significant amount of my life until the break gets better.
Oh and the cherry on top is that despite being in the hospital, that girl barely texted me to check on me. So I didn’t even get much sympathy out of it from the reason I was outside riding in the first place. Ah well.
TL;DR: went outside to try to cheer myself up and distract myself from love life problems, end up severely fracturing my femur which now has metal rods in it along with a 6 month recovery time (X-rays in post if you’re interested)
altariasprite: Man I was looking at the first picture for WAY too long trying to find the break and was like “I know I’m a bit stupid but WHAT am I missing here?” before scrolling down and seeing everything else. Thanks, mobile.
Also holy shit dude that sucks! But know that a lot of the time you can dispute some of the charges on the medical bill. Best of luck, though.
Swollwonder: Thanks for the kind words :) I thankfully have a great job and can afford the medical bills, just not the most fun thing to spend money on. I don’t plan on disputing it as most likely I will hit my out of pocket limit between the surgery, hospital stay, PT I’m going to, and check ins with my surgeon. I’m mostly just upset about being so bed bound but it is what it is
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1651265684 | 1651272558 | t3_uevcji | t5_2to41 | 7 | Constant-Valuable704: TIFU and didn’t “do it” once I got to her bed
Okay, so I have been hanging out with this girl for a long time now. Several months, we work together, we have kissed a few times, she has offered to come home with me, etc. However, I didn’t think she actually liked me and I never really considered her as an option as she is a lot more attractive than me. Suddenly I start noticing she is jealous of another co worker that I am showing affection for. She makes comments like “you don’t like me, you like her” or “fine go have fun with your new gf” (they are very very close best friends) but again, I was dumb and didn’t really notice. Now, a couple weeks ago we go hit up some bars and a ton of crazy stuff happens, like just really silly stuff. I am with her and that best friend that I like. Me and best friend make out and stuff but nothing to far for that night. Anyways, I get home and the girl face times me and basically confesses all her feelings for me. I was absolutely ecstatic and told her, I never really thought of it as an option but I would love to give it a try. So Monday I ask her out and we go and spend over 12 hours drinking and just having fun. Throughout the night she tells me how much she wants me and we kiss a few times. But also she mentions stuff about the best friend and seeming jealous. So anyways we get back to her place at 8 am, completely sober at this point and she invites me to her bed. I was super tired but she got down into her underwear and got super close to me. She then said, “why are you being so shy”. So all I do is cuddle up to her. I sleep there all night and she wouldn’t even let me leave the next day and just keeps cuddling me. Anyways I realize that I should have made an actual move and got with her.
Then came today, she invites me over we have fun and I end up in her bed again. However this time she is way more distant. We then have some super awkward chat about how we are basically just having slumber parties at this point. Then 10 mins later she asks me to leave.
I texted her and we talked about it and now apparently she never had any feelings for me, even tho she said she did several times.
So, because I was unable to make a move she basically friendzoned me in her bed. Do y’all think I have any chance of redemption? Do you think because we didn’t get sexual that I ruined it ? Do you think she even ever liked me and just changed her mind now? Ty y’all for the read lol
Also, she is 28, I’m 22.
TLDR: Got into girls bed and didn’t make a move so she all of a sudden lost all feelings for me.
Slight Update: Went to work and she was there, I didn’t talk to her as much as I normally would and she got very upset. Like to the point that I totally ruined her day. So she doesn’t like me but me not talking to her as much just kills her.
Then the next day she calls me around 11 and says ‘do you wanna come over’ and me being a dummy goes over. But again, we don’t make it to her bed tell super late. I wasn’t even trying to stay over, she just kept asking me too. So we slept in the same bed again and nothing happened. In fact we slept super far apart this time. She has to be over me right? Or does she want me to make a move?
Alternative_Mind_890: You can try and play the (explicit consent is very important to you card) but I think you probably ftu sorry man. I was once in a similar situation an FIU by try to get a threesome going with the 2 best friends so at least you didn't try that it didn't go well for me 😆
Constant-Valuable704: They actually offered me a 3 some before. I shoulda took it when I had the chance. I really think this isn’t it for me and her. Like maybe she is gonna be awkward for a bit but I know we will hang out more and maybe I will figure it out
GamerGrunt: Who doesn't accept a threesome? I mean, I've had some dense moments before, but to refuse a threesome offer...
Constant-Valuable704: I had never been drunker in my entire life plus I was pretty nervous. I haven’t had sex many times and a 3 some seemed like a lot. I wanted it but I was dumb. Honestly I am more mad about not fucking her when her ass was pressed against my dick in her bed. And now she thinks I am completely unable to have sexual relations. GG
GamerGrunt: Okay I can understand that. Honestly... I've been in the same boat as far as a chick pressing her ass against my boner and not making a move, lol. Just talk to her and be honest. Say you wanted it, but you were too worried about being inappropriate... and that yeah it's dumb and doesn't make sense, but you realized you messed up. Worse case you'll be in the same boat you are now.
Constant-Valuable704: Good point, except she told me a coupes hours ago that she never even liked me in the first place.
| 7 | 1 | |
1651265488 | 1651266255 | t3_ueva1q | t5_2to41 | 22 | waydeultima: TIFU by getting blasted drunk and sending inappropriate messages to a coworker in the middle of the night
So it's been a day.
I have a friendly relationship with a girl I work with. We're familiar enough that we recognize the humor and context, so this situation isn't nearly as bad as it could have been, thank goodness.
Anyway on any given day I'll go hang out with her a bit and shoot the shit. Maybe linger for half an hour or so. We share memes on Discord and Instagram, we know a lot of the same people, etc. You probably get the idea by now. I work IT at a university, btw.
But yesterday she mentioned "the meditation room". I was like "What the fuck is the meditation room? This is the first I've heard of this."
So she led me down the hall to the meditation room, which is close to her office. It's full of zen knickknacks, a fluffy carpet, pink salt lamp, the whole shebang. First thing she said when we walked in was "You could totally have sex in here."
We joked about it and that was the end. Except that it wasn't. I talked to a former coworker in a Discord call later that night and described the scene, ending it with "That actually is a weird thing to say. Did I miss a flag?"
First of all, life isn't a dating sim. Using "flag" in this context is... I'm an idiot. But anyway he was fully on the same page with "Yeah that does seem weird."
I don't really remember what happened after that conversation because that's the point where I blacked out, but I basically messaged the girl explaining the mindset and saying "So am I misinterpreting things or...?" while also casually suggesting that nudes wouldn't be unwelcome. This person is in a committed relationship, so I went way out of bounds there and I effectively took on the role of the person who intruded in my previous marriage. I" became the man I sought to destroy", as I described it earlier.
So first thing in the morning, realizing what had happened, I dragged myself over to her office to formally apologize. She came around the corner, saw me, and then just started laughing her ass off. We talked about it and another coworker who stopped by also got in on the story. I'm absolutely mortified but we all had a good laugh about the situation.
The part that sucks, though, is that she left all of our mutual Discord channels pending approval to rejoin from her boyfriend who hasn't heard the story yet. I told her that I fully consent to getting my ass kicked by this man if he wants to because I've earned it. It is just super lame that she's had to leave "the gang" because of my stupid actions.
Tl;Dr - fucked around and found out. Got blackout drunk and hit up a coworker for inappropriate pictures and now it's awkward. Also I spent the whole day being roasted for it and I probably won't live it down for years to come.
lutk78: Thats awesome you have the balls to own it. this will make her want you for sure this time so go home, get hammered and text her, but this time be more persistent. Joking aside, after the crime you did handle it well
waydeultima: Hard pass on that one. She is in a great relationship and I have no business getting involved there. Appreciate the encouragement, though.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1651268503 | 1651298270 | t3_uewbh7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | pussyslayer489: TIFU by dissapearing
I (18M) went out with my friends and thought I left my mom a message telling her where I was and that I had left. I came back after 6 hours to them thinking I had disappeared because I don't usually leave the house without them knowing about it. also my phone didn't have any signal and died while i was away so they couldn't even reach me
apparently, they left a dinner with friends early to find me while I was not aware of anything
I feel sick and want to throw up as I'm thinking of how I worried them to the point of them thinking I got kidnapped or something like that. i just ruined one of the few nights out they ever get to have. the look on their faces made me sick. I hate myself so much for what I just did to them, and how idiotic I behaved for not telling them or charging my phone earlier
[TL;DR](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/faq#wiki_what_do_all_of_these_acronyms_mean.3F): made my parents think i disappeared and made them worry
shesavillain: Y’all need to relax. Lmao did they not think to reach out and call you? Or did you have your phone on silent the entire time and you didn’t pick up? Because not leaving a message through forgetfulness isn’t a big deal.. especially once.
whatsyoursign69: In OP's words, "...my phone didn't have any signal and died while I was away so they couldn't even reach me"
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1651270172 | 1651270704 | t3_uewvxa | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a 'thats what she said' joke in class and making it really awkward
[deleted]
iamsobased: You sound just like me! Like literally i could have written this
IamaLuna-tic: YAY!
| 3 | 2 | |
1651269690 | 1651300786 | t3_uewpxy | t5_2to41 | 5 | DieHardLover: TIFU by walking in while my cousin watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory
Mention of self Harm
So, a few hours ago, I walked in on my cousin watching Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Specifically, the blueberry scene (I could not have had worse timing.)
The problem is that I have anxiety, body dysmorphia, and am in recovery from an eating disorder, I have also cut myself in past.
I have had anxiety surrounding my body for many years, since I was quite young.
So, walking in on the blueberry inflation scene was a massive trigger for me. It's taking me all my willpower not to go and make myself vomit, or worse, cut myself repeatedly on the stomach, in an effort to cope with the anxiety.
I'm also just so tired of shit like this setting me off. I know it's irrational, I know it's dumb, but I can't seem to escape from this cycle. All because I walked in on a weird scene in a children's movie.
TLDR; walked in during the blueberry inflation scene in Charlie and the Chocolate factory, which triggered my anxiety and now I'm trying to distract myself so I don't make myself sick or cut myself.
Canis_mumus: That's really shitty... I'm sorry that happened! To be fair, that scene doesn't sit well with me either!! Can I suggest you scroll funny animal videos or r/natureislit or some other distracting and very unlikely to trigger you type of content?
DieHardLover: Thanks for the advice! I have been doing crosswords with my mom, and that has really helped me calm down. She is well aware of my struggles, so she is sitting with me.
Canis_mumus: It's great to have a support system :)
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1651270865 | 1651282620 | t3_uex43a | t5_2to41 | 1,164 | callsignroy: TIFU by donating my blood
I have been donating blood couple of times. But today im so embarrassed. For the people who regularly donates blood or have been donating, you may know how the process are.
The process goes very well, with medical check, blood pressure and so on. It's just like a normal day for me, nothing wrong and all goes well.
Usually, after the nurse draw your blood, the nurse will give advice to not use your hand that you got your blood drawn on, for heavy task or it may complicates the healing of the wound or some sort. And i nodded and said yes as to acknowledge her advice.
And then, after all is done, i go out to my car, (fyi my car door handle is a bit hard to open, and i got my father to drive). With my smooth a*s brain, i open the car door with the hand that got blood drawn from.
At first, there nothing wrong with it, i got inside the car, get seatbelt on. Then, my father drive out the parking lot, and i start chit chat with my father. Then i feel something wet on my trousers. And i saw it completely wet with my blood, with my arm dripping blood on to it.
Then, i screamed to my father, "look my arm". My father told to put pressure on it, while, he trying to go back to the blood donation center. Not long after that, we arrive again at the center.
With blood dripping arm and blood stained trousers and part of my shirt, I look like someone running off from a murder. I go to the counter and ask for help, many people were there saw me. I dont know what they thought about me, I'm so embarrassed.
Luckilly, the nurse took quick action, and told to go to one of the rooms to manage my situation. The treatment went well, and i got the new band-aid on and cleaned, not my trousers and shirt thou.
TL;DR I fuckup by not follow nurse advice after donating blood, and got shower of blood all over my body.
p/s i dont know if this good storytelling or not, i'm so sorry if there misspelled mispronunciation or grammar error as im still learning english.
WhichWayzUp: Glad you're ok.
Strange because I've always worried I wasn't allowed to use my arm after donating blood but the nurse has always said it was fine go about your life normally.
Maybe your blood doesn't clot as quickly as other people do. Maybe you have a little bit of hemophilia? I don't know.
Liss78: I get my blood drawn pretty frequently (not donation). I've had a few times where the puncture reopened a bit later. I don't have clotting issues. It definitely can happen though.
WhichWayzUp: Interesting. Does the nurse tell you to keep your arm over your head with pressure on the site? Or does she tell you to go about your life as normal? They always tell me to go about my life as normal. But I intuitively feel like I should keep my arm over my head and keep pressure on the site at least for a few minutes
Known-Salamander9111: Nurse here.
Either way is just fine. There’s no reason not to use the arm, especially since it’s wrapped with Coban usually. Probably just a difference in practice in nursing and experience.
WhichWayzUp: Is Coban that stretchy plasticky gauzey ace bandage type of thing, and sometimes they let us choose the color and sometimes I choose purple or pink or turquoise if they have it?
Known-Salamander9111: Indeed it is
| 7 | 166.285714 | |
1651272392 | 1651272890 | t3_uexlwv | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally ruining my transgender sister’s wedding
[removed]
madammissylady: This screams fan fiction lol.
Edit: Now I read it all, yup, fan fiction.
blue_solid: But fan of what exactly ?
madammissylady: I ain't gonna try figuring out
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1651273307 | 1651468955 | t3_uexwrk | t5_2to41 | 52 | Kaportunist: TIFU by backing a car into my boyfriend
I (21F) just got my drivers license a week ago after trying to obtain it for 2 years. I currently don’t have a car but my father let me use his Dodge Charger in the meantime. To give you an idea of how I look in the front seat, I’m 6’1 and roughly 160 pounds. I’ve been trying to get use to driving a wide and heavy car, since I’m use to driving a Toyota Camry. For the pass two days it’s been F up after F up. My friends have pointed out that I shake and look petrified when driving. (My BPD and anxiety meds make me tremor sometimes, but when my heart races you can see me visibly shake).
I got pulled over twice by the same cop, backed up on a curb, and side swiped my coworkers car. They’ve had to repeatedly calm me down because I’d just panic and then freeze unable to move the car.
I was backing out of a narrow driveway, I knew my limitations and insisted my boyfriend back it out since he’s been driving for years. He said no and instead was giving me hand motions as one does to help someone back up. The car is backed out and at a 70 degree angle he motions for me to go forward and instead I didn’t put it in drive and reversed. I had sandwiched him in between my car and his car injuring his leg. I panicked got out and backed away from the car. He had squeezed out and was limping. I’m panicking, crying, the neighbors came out, it felt like I was spiraling. My boyfriend pulled the dodge aside to the curb and got into his car to inspect his leg. He kept reassuring me saying “It’s okay.” And “It’s my fault, I should have been standing that close behind the car.”
I feel like absolute garbage and fell deeeeep into depression and a new irrational fear for driving. I’d hate to hurt anyone, especially someone close to you. I really F’ed up.
TL;DR I was backing up the car and crushed my boyfriends leg in between cars.
Amerlan: Please do not drive that ~~truck~~ car. What you're experiencing is not normal, and it's not safe to operate a vehicle if you have panic attacks from driving it. You will cause a serious accident in the future if you don't get your anxiety under control. Stick to driving small, compact cars until you can handle a vehicle. Do not let anyone peer pressure you into driving when you don't feel safe. It will be your fault if something happens, not theirs. Only drive when you know you're in control.
FrontierLuminary: A Charger is not a truck.
Amerlan: Bless, you're right and that's a bit embarrassing...
FrontierLuminary: Either way, your point is a good one.
| 5 | 10.4 | |
1651274616 | 1651290280 | t3_ueybig | t5_2to41 | 13 | Fearless_Orange_2722: TIFU by copying files I wasn't supposed to
My company offered severance in exchange for a voluntary layoff. Many people took it. I took the deal too, but wanted to keep a sort of 'souvenier' and copied some stuff I wrote while there (I'm a developer).
Welp, computers were (obviously) monitored so they found out. Called me out on it and I really didn't have much of a retort so I panicked and came up with some 'by accident' story. Day passes, they get infosec people involved and they basically analyze everything and give me a play by play that I have really no way to retort.
As a result I'm losing 2 months of severance.. which is like $40k. expensive fucking mistake.
I feel like a complete idiot, of course. It's super embarrasing. I don't quite know how to tell people. I'll tell my wife, but aside from her, I'm really not sure. I already told a few folks that I'm taking the voluntary layoff package and getting a nice severance.
Expensive goddamn lesson learned. fml.
TL;DR: I copied files I wasn't supposed to and lost a $40k payday.
Amberlee0811: This really sucks. Lesson learned. Sorry you’re losing out on pay. Hope you find another job soon.
Fearless_Orange_2722: thanks, i already have an offer.. so that makes me feel safer
Amberlee0811: I’m glad to hear that. Good luck.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1651279013 | 1651281222 | t3_uezmgh | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a “Your mom” joke
[deleted]
Rosey991: He deleted his entire acc over that?
gdub61: Probably just blocked you.
nmyron3983: Yep. Was me. Blocked them. Someone sent me this thread. I figured I'd give the person an opportunity to apologize after seeing it, so I unblocked.
gdub61: Sorry about your mom
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1651279493 | 1651487982 | t3_uezriy | t5_2to41 | 11 | darquehope: TIFU by Getting Sued
I've suffered from ADHD all my life. I only have so much mental bandwidth before I throw my hands in the air and say "That's it, no more for today." I ignore many of my problems because they cause too much anxiety for me to handle in a rational manner. As a result, my hygiene has not been the best, the condition of my personal space has been abysmal and my laundry piled up occasionally to the point I had to wear dirty clothes just to go to work. I'd learned to accept my misfortunes because I felt this was my fault for getting into this predicament, I had no justification to complain. I wound up with a recurring athlete's foot. I would treat it until the itching stopped and then go on my merry way until it sprung up again. Wash, rinse, repeat. Or lack thereof...
Two years ago, (before COVID was a thing) it got infected, causing my calf to go red and swollen and for me to wind up with a fever. The fever broke and then came back. I went to the doctor who put me on a regimen to finally stop the cycle, but it wasn't fast enough. The third time my fever came back, I was sent to the hospital. I didn't want to go, because, y'know, no insurance, and I knew I was on the mend, but I wasn't given much choice. They admitted me and I spent 3 days under observation. When they were confident that I was stable they sent me home.
Then they sent me a bill. Which I didn't read. It went into the drawer with the rest of my bills. I would handle it when I had the clarity to handle it. You see where this is going... I saw where that was going, too. I just couldn't deal with it mentally. I was in a job I hated, a marriage that was being sabotaged by my in-laws, struggling to make ends meet, and continuing poor diet and health habits. I struggle to pay bills on time even when I have the money, but I'm terrified of putting it on autopay and overdrawing my account. (Done that too many times...) I have a hundred other things demanding my attention at all times, and even the most basic wasn't getting taken care of, which added to my guilt and anxiety, which caused me to ignore my problems, causing more guilt and anxiety, and so on... Calls from debt collectors, letters from debt collectors, all go ignored. Don't forget the student debt from the worthless degree you got from a school that barely taught you anything! Sit and YouTube freefall until it's time to sleep. (I don't drink or smoke, or do drugs, so I need some form of escape.) I have a budget in mind but never stick to it. There's always something for me to buy to ease my existential agony, at least for a moment.
For a while, I was getting better. I got the official ADHD diagnosis, started medication, and I was going to a therapist until I discovered my insurance didn't cover therapy, so, yeah... My marriage is in a better place, but I think I'm doing my wife more of a disservice than anything. Still on medication, but even more stressed by work and unable to improve my habits. I sometimes find myself just apathetic to my own existence, like while I can't bring myself to hurt myself or anyone else, I don't really care if I live or die. I have to die sometime, what does it matter when? I should accept that my inattentiveness will cause an accident or my weight will bring on a heart attack...
Today, I came home to an envelope taped to my front door. I've been served. I'm getting sued by the hospital for $28,000. I knew this was going to happen eventually, but it was too difficult to think about. But now it's happened, and it's my own damn fault. And I don't know what to do. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how to save or conserve. I don't know how to stick to the budget I create. I'm not impulsive in huge ways, just very impulsive in many small ways that snowball until I'm left with nothing at the end of the month... I feel like this is the beginning of the end. Every other bad decision I've made in my life is coming back to bite me, but they're my bad decisions, so suck it up. You get what you deserve.
TL;DR - I got sick, went to the hospital, and, courtesy of mental health problems, ignored my hospital bill so long they're finally suing me. And I'm afraid this won't be the end.
Ok-Economics341: Well this just related too much to how I see myself as soon as I get out of college… I’m going to go cry into the wall now
rolypolyarmadillo: Me, who's procrastinating on an easy that was due 6 hours ago and has pulled more all nighters this semester than I have all other semesters combined: haha fuck.
I gotta up my Vyvanse asap because this fucking sucks.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1651278809 | 1651284377 | t3_uezkgp | t5_2to41 | 242 | [deleted]: TIFU by thanking a pre-teen “for her service” at Ikea. Yeah…
[deleted]
Spadeuni: Thank you for your service
shadboi16: What did you say you creep?!
OkVolume1: Easy. He just likes your uniform.
| 4 | 60.5 | |
1651281042 | 1651288058 | t3_uf07t5 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by continuing a relationship that i dont think will last :/
[deleted]
Johndeauxman: Don’t drag it out, not fair to either one of you, sounds like both of you can benefit from focusing on other things for now and it’s only going to get worse. Rip the bandaid off, it’s gonna hurt, or leave it on and it get infected.
BipmeDaddy: Im not sure how to go about it, ive tried talking to her prefacing with “im not breaking up with you but heres what we need to talk about” and then immediate tears before i finish the sentence
Apprehensive_Pug6844: She’s manipulating you with those early tears. Even if she claims she’s in love with you, she’d be happy to see you fulfill your dreams. So, no it’s not really love. It’s dependency.
BipmeDaddy: Sometimes i feel like her emotions are genuine
Apprehensive_Pug6844: Just what she wants.
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1651281327 | 1651296830 | t3_uf0apk | t5_2to41 | 14 | HisGirl20: TIFU by being considered AWOL
So I (23F) joined the Army nearly a year ago now, I’ve unfortunately been at AIT for going on 6 months now. The reason I’ve been here so long is I had some health issues come up regarding my heart supposedly.
Im awaiting results as of now and am in a limbo state, this is where the fuck up may have happened, I assumed my cadre was keeping up to date my unit as to why I am still here but apparently not.
My family got called by my unit asking about me saying that I’ve been considered AWOL for a week as I was meant to show up a week ago.
Obviously that is not happening anytime soon and I let my cadre know the mess up.
Honestly I’m not sure what to do in this situation it’s not my fault I’m just waiting and can’t do much about it.
TLDR: got some health issues during ait and didn’t show up to unit when I was supposed to because I haven’t graduated yet.
fthoodsurvivor: Fuck going to the cadre, use your CO or 1SG’s open door policy if they have one. If they won’t help you, go to JAG.
Siddabear: Do NOT do this (first)
Start at the lowest level and work your way up
There are times to jump around the chain of command. So far this not one of them.
fthoodsurvivor: I would consider being listed as AWOL as a reason to jump the chain of command. She’s already let her cadre know what’s up, COC is next.
Siddabear: No, it is not.
Her cadre should be pushing it up the chain.
If she feels they aren't, then you jump.
You don't start at the top for something like this.
I'll admit to not knowing the role of an Army 1Sgt as well as I do an Air Force 1Sgt; in the AF I would say go ahead and inform your 1Sgt that it happened but leave it at that. Our 1Sgt were essentially a unit-level SNCO specialized in dealing with MWR and Discipline, kinda sorta not really outside the CoC to begin with
Time is not a critical factor here (again, judging based solely on info OP has presented)
fthoodsurvivor: She’s already pushed it to her cadre, therefore she wouldn’t be jumping the chain of command.
Completely off topic, but y’all had SNCO’s actually organizing MWR stuff for y’all? Spent 13 years in the Army and never had a NCO, let alone a SNCO organize MWR stuff for us. Was always our Chaplin.
Siddabear: 6yrs AF.
Again, 1Sgt in the AF was a [MOS] not a rank. Special school for a few months, then usually 2-3 tours with different units before moving into E8/9 leadership roles.
Basically they were a kind of go-to for enlisted issues, whether it be directly related to service or not.
Like...
I don't know, a (ideal functional) parent?
I still would not jump up to a SNCO/ CGO with this until the cadre has had a chance to do their job first. If this happened today, I would wait til late Monday to bring it to the senior enlisted open door, and late Wednesday to take it to a CC, and even then only if she's not gotten adequate/satisfactory feedback from the cadre Monday at lunch.
fthoodsurvivor: Air Force is weird, but it works for y’all.
| 8 | 1.75 | |
1651279079 | 1651289170 | t3_uezn48 | t5_2to41 | 17 | 999-XO: TIFU by ramming my car into the garage door when it wasn't fully opened
Ok, before I start. I have a habit of just reversing the fuck out of my car out of the garage when I need to go somewhere albeit when the garage door is obviously fully opened.
So this time was just like any other time. I set in my car, started it and pushed the remote bottom for the garage to open. But unlike this time, my dumbass reversed the car while the garage door was only half-opened. And I crashed into the garage door. Luckily I did not fully go through the garage but stopped fast enough. But the damage was already done. My back windshield was shattered and my garage door look like it was fucked.
I knew I fucked up. To my surprise though, an hour later I called a garage fixer guy to fix my garage and it cost me like $20 dollars. I was not expecting that. The garage door looked fucked but all he did was pull it down back to its resting place and realigned it....like the metal that pulls the garage door up.
The back windshield of the car was still wrecked though....
Lesson learned: have some patience.
P.S. the reason why I initially even got in my car was to go get pizza
TL;DR: got in my car to go get pizza but instead reversed my car into the garage door and wrecked my back windshield and the garage.
OkVolume1: So, the pizza was still good, right?
TELL ME THE PIZZA WAS STILL GOOD.
999-XO: Yea the pizza was good. I mean it depends which pizza you like. The pizza I got was from papa johns.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1651282447 | 1651358691 | t3_uf0mi8 | t5_2to41 | 70 | CVFDLT3: TIFU by realizing that I spent $60,000 to face my fears
So today I fucked up. I was in my parents garage talking to my mother watching a tornadic storm build up. We were talking about how bad storms are where we live and my mother asks why I'm so obsessed with storms. I thought about it and didn't really know why, but then when wind blew across the tin roof of the garage and it made this sickening noise that made me jump. The roof wasn't loose or anything. It was the whistle, that low pitched whistle. And then it hit me I'm terrified of that sound, but why. I thought about it... So I've been through several tornadic storms one in 2020, one in 2018, the 2011 Joplin tornado, a tornado in 2007 and one in 2005. And it hit me it was the 2007 tornado. My sister and I were visiting our dad for the weekend and he lived in a trailer park and that sound echoed all around the neighborhood and it was less of a low whistle and more of the sound of a freight train before the tornado even started. When the tornado touchdown it sounded like 100 freight trains. So after then I started studying weather even went to school for meteorology and got a master's, but I only did it to be a Storm Chaser as a hobby. I'm not even employed as a meteorologist, I drive a truck for a living but I love chasing storms, and it all started in a trailer park being terrified it of my mind. I spent $60,000 to face my fears what is this crap.
TL ; DR
I went into massive debt for a to be a Storm Chaser because I was afraid of them as a kid.
Badhaase: Joplin in da house!
CVFDLT3: Are you from Joplin?
Badhaase: Born and raised in Joplin then moved to Galena in high school.
CVFDLT3: No way I grew up in Joplin my family moved up to Nevada after the tornado
Known-Salamander9111: my ex in laws live in Nevada. Small world.
CVFDLT3: And where are you from
Known-Salamander9111: grew up in Topeka, met the ex when we were like 11, he moved to KCK, we got together 300 years later. By then his folks had divorced and his dad and stepmom lived in Nevada. She’s from around
There. I think i have a White Grill coffee cup around here somewhere…
| 8 | 8.75 | |
1651282539 | 1651283017 | t3_uf0nfo | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by dating a married guy
[deleted]
AllOverNowhere: I've been getting suspended for being brutally honest so I'm just going to say yep..
Your_Trash_Daddy: Sadly, a lot of high-profile subreddits like their truth with a heavy load of their mods' biases.
| 3 | 7 | |
1651281702 | 1651287590 | t3_uf0eo9 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by faking a Covid test to get out of a date.
[deleted]
Scarboroughwarning: Honesty is nearly always the best policy. Especially in a relationship. To falter at square one... Damn man. It wasn't even a thing worth lying about, lol.
At least you realise.
Hopefully you can get her back.
NateDogg5o5: Yeah, I honesty couldn’t believe how stupid it was. Preciate it man
Scarboroughwarning: We've all done it... Not this, just the fucking up. I've often considered posting here, though mine is a lame tifu
NateDogg5o5: Haha we for sure all have. That’s hopefully a good thing?
Scarboroughwarning: You'd think. Could have been a major one
| 6 | 3.333333 | |
1651285736 | 1651287885 | t3_uf1kth | t5_2to41 | 6 | ag1el: TIFU by casing a nose bleed with a nasal spray
This TIFU just happed, I suffer with allergies and due to this I get blocked up noses. Tonight I am at my girlfriends house and she is currently sleeping next to me trying not to wake her up. I can't sleep and so decided to go and blow my nose. Get up half asleep grab some toilet roll and give that fucker a good blow.
Now my gf loves gimmicky shit and she has a nasal spray on the windowsill. Now this is where the TIFU happens, I spray it up my right nostril and give it a good couple of pumps and it sprays back onto my fingers and over the top of the spray bottle.
I wipe my fingers and proceed to go for the other nostril. I push that sucker up my nose and give it a good hard spray. My fingers slip of the plates and it springs up my nose and hits the top of my nostril. Straight away I new it was bad as it stung like a bitch and feel a warm wet feeling. Yep it's bleeding and cut. Now I have a still blocked nose and to cap it off a bleeding nostril.
I am lay next to my gf who is sleeping soundly next to her fucking idiot of a boyfriend. I don't expect any sympathy off her when she wakes up. She is a nurse and will most likely call me an idiot for it.
TL;DR used a nasal spray and caused a nose bleed when it slipped off my wet fingers.
TheArmed501st: And OP does rightfully deserve to be called that by gf
ag1el: I know, in my defense I am clumsy as fuck and when half tired I also my dumb choices
TheArmed501st: Dont worry i am too, i once stepped on a rake and broke my nose so i know the pain. Well i was knocked unconscious but you get what i mean
ag1el: Wow now that is a classic TIFU.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1651286483 | 1651454143 | t3_uf1sln | t5_2to41 | 6 | TheUnofficial98: TIFU by having an inappropriate background for an job interview
So didn't happen today, but still kicking myself about it. Also not sure if this is really NSFW, but flagging it just in case.
After months of job searching, I finally got contacted about interviewing for a decent position in the field I want. It was exactly what I was looking for, and the pay was decent too. I don't use zoom much anymore, but I used to use it for school and talking to friends. Apparently, last time I forgot to change my background back from what I had on the green screen feature.
So, the day of the interview comes. I log into Zoom, and due to how it works, I could not see my own screen until the meeting started. When the time came and my screen popped up, I nearly died when [this](https://tierradentro.tumblr.com/post/69992621248/jael-and-sisera-from-speculum-humanae) was set as my background (only the top half of the photo was visible). Embarrassed, I began apologizing profusely while fumbling to return the background to normal. Luckily, the interviewer was chill about it and the rest of the interview went well.
In the end, I didn't end up getting the job. I'm not sure if that little slip up was enough to cost me the job, but I thought this might be a good cautionary tale for those that like to mess around on Zoom. Make sure you reset everything before you end your call!
tl;dr had a job interview, forgot I had an inappropriate image set as my background on Zoom, and immense embarrassment ensued.
Micknator: At least you were wearing pants.
Right?
TheUnofficial98: Yeah, I don't understand how people can just work without pants on. I wouldn't risk someone seeing something in case I had to get up quickly.
| 3 | 2 | |
1651288100 | 1651289889 | t3_uf29cm | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU Walked past an old Friend like I didnt know her
[deleted]
skajemagowza: I can tell you that I’ve been in this same boat of unrequited feelings. If you’re anything like me, you probably hid your feelings but they were obvious nonetheless. The person I was focused on I think knows how I felt about her, and I think she also used that power that she knew she had over me to her advantage. Even through the passage of time those feelings still feel fresh and powerful. But I have come to realize that she uses people to get what she wants and discards them once they are no longer useful. I get the sense that the person you described may have a similar way of behaving, even from your brief description.
I have moved forward with my life and have worked on myself to seek out what attracted me to her (outside of looks). I still am not sure I’ve found the answers but I have worked hard to see people for who they are and not what my ideal of them tends to be. I don’t think you fucked up at all. In fact, I think you did yourself a huge favor in not engaging. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I hope it helps.
--JaySp--: Thanks for your answer, looks like were talking about the same Girl haha, but I dont think she discards people because shes manipulative, she's very kind. Maybe she just dont underatand what she even want
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1651290853 | 1651293707 | t3_uf3002 | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing a thong that I bought from Victoria Secret. (22/M)
[deleted]
apolychr: Lmao what a freeing thing to discover, good on you!
Edit: TodayYouFuckingWon
[deleted]: This honestly sounds like the equivalent of women going braless. Liberating.
| 3 | 13 | |
1651291369 | 1651292104 | t3_uf35g6 | t5_2to41 | 25 | frunkjuice5: TIFU by throwing a bag of dog poo at my wife
I have been traveling a lot lately and my wife has been taking care of the dog and the cat. It’s my first Friday back and we were going on a walk together with the dog and a few adult beverages. Our plan was to watch the sunset and have an overall nice time.
We each have a drink nicely tucked away in a koozie and the dog takes a dump, right on cue about 4 blocks, from the house and halfway to the park. My wife has a dog on the leash and a bag of drinks, so I happily take a poo bag and scoop the poo, as a good neighbor does.
Now we’re about 5 blocks from the parks trashcan (the only place to ditch the poo without making enemies of my neighbors) and my wife insists I also take the leash. Now, it’s really hard to hold a dog leash, drink an adult beverage, and a bag of poo at the same time. You can’t hold the beer and the dog in the same hand, the dog inevitably tugs and I spill much of the precious liquid all over my hands and the leash. If you hold the poo bag and the beer in the same hand, well, you get a nose full of stinky poo when you take a sip.
So naturally, I asked my wife to take the poo, since she has a free hand. She for some reason decides to be sassy and walks away as I try to figure out the best way to drink my juice. She gets about five feet ahead and I toss decide to set down the bag. Ok, I tossed the bag, which landed about two feet in front of her and to the right.
She called the whole night off and demanded we take different routes home. I apologize profusely, but the only thing to do is just give her space. The nuance between “threw a bag of poo at me” and “threw a bag of poo near you” is completely lost, and there’s no chance I’m getting out of this unscathed.
TL;DR I threw a bag of poop in the direction of my wife while walking the dog so I could more easily drink a beer and now she won’t talk to me.
blondsprkl: Sorry but this made me laugh. I would have just tossed it back at my husband lol and ran!!!
frunkjuice5: I was honestly hoping for an lol, now I just wish I made a literally any other choice
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1651292901 | 1651300881 | t3_uf3kge | t5_2to41 | 46 | 235_lady: TIFU by telling a random guy rubber goose
I (24F, w/pregnancy brain) am trying to sell a bed on Facebook marketplace. I have been getting 5-10 responses a day for about a week with questions that have answers clearly written in the ad, but I have been kindly answering them all anyways (because anything to get my garage space back, am I right?).
Anyways, this guy asks a question in Spanish.
I don't speak Spanish, so I respond "what?"
To which he responds with:
"spiki spanich" (which, with my morning pregnancy brain, I read pronounced as "spikey spinach").
So I thought we were just saying random things at this point, so I respond with (and I quote):
"Rubber goose".
...
I screenshot the conversation this morning and sent it to my husband, who understood that this guy meant "speak Spanish?" immediately (AND CHOSE NOT TO INFORM ME- mostly because he probably thought I understood what this guy was trying to say).
...
I brought it up again to my husband when I got home from work in the evening and we laughed about it for a second..
before he said "yeah I thought that was a weird way to ask if you speak Spanish".
And I was like "huh? He never asked me if I speak Spanish?"
And he was like "yeah he did! "Spiki spanich" like "speak Spanish"".
......
You mean he wasn't talking about spikey spinach?! I was mind blown and embarrassed! I was only responding with what I thought was the same energy he was sending! It was an honest mistake!
Anyways. Now I feel like an idiot.
And no, he did not buy the bed.
Tl/Dr: I fucked up by not processing that I was being asked if I speak Spanish so I told a guy "rubber goose".
brittmac422: I think we've all done ridiculous or dumb things when we are tired. I think you will laugh about this in the future. Rubber goose is an interesting response.
235_lady: Honestly, I thought spikey spinach was the most random things so I felt the only choice I had was to come up with a response as equally as random. I'm still laughing about it 😅😂
brittmac422: It's all good. I'd probably have passed out from laughing about it.
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1651291942 | 1651423600 | t3_uf3b7n | t5_2to41 | 10 | needemotionalhealing: TIFU by engaging with my stalker
So I (15F) have been in language classes at school with this guy (17M) since the beginning of the school year. We had never spoken or anything, so I didn’t have an opinion about him until a few weeks ago.
I keep my Instagram (and all other social media) private and only allow my close friends to follow me. I don’t have my full name or picture of myself in my profile, and I have the suggested accounts feature off so my account won’t be recommended to people who have mutual followers with me. One day, in class, I got a notification from my phone and saw he had requested to follow me. I found it odd because he would’ve had to look up my name, so he was definitely trying to find me. We had one mutual follower, another student in the class, so I’m guessing it just came up when he typed my name. I declined since I didn’t know him too well, and dismissed the interaction as I figured he just wanted to have Instagram followers. I was very wrong. He requested me a total of five times in two days which is super odd. At this point I didn’t want to block him because I didn’t want him to confront me about it, and also if he did anything malicious I would want to present it to the school. So I changed my profile name to a decoy last name to throw him off- it worked, and he stopped for about three weeks.
My teacher switched seats last week. They will be our seats for the rest of the school year. Of course, just as luck would have it, we are sitting next to each other and are dialogue partners. He tries to make conversation with me, just about regular stuff, and like the idiot I am I engaged back. He seemed like a normal guy honestly, he had some cool interests and was pretty good at art.
When I get home, he’s requested my Instagram again, this time from another account. When I didn’t accept or decline, he re-requested several hours later. He’s also followed me on VSCO, which is a photo sharing app that I have genuinely not used in a couple years. Again, he must have just searched up my name. This makes me wonder how many platforms he has tried to reach me on, because that was the only profile where I had my full name. What does he gain from this? Why can’t he understand I’m not interested? I really should have just acted coldly towards him in class and I think I’ll continue to do that in the future.
I should also mention, he has never blatantly stalked me in person but one time he sat alone at the booth right next to me and my friends, in a mostly empty lunchroom. Considering the context, it’s pretty odd.
TL;DR: A guy from my class keeps requesting my private social medias, including my Instagram, a total of 7 times, and I stupidly engaged in conversation with him at school, causing him to request me more.
Free_Egg_5820: You young kids need to keep of social media… that dude Is a creep and just cause the teacher has assigned seat doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them to switch It. Don’t be naïve but then again you are young. Block the dude and talk to your counselor better yet tell you parents. People in general can be totally different than who you think they are. Please get some grown ups involved. This could either be nothing crazy or could be some serious stuff and land you In a bad place. Hope everything turns out well.
Booskop89: Why would a 15 year old boy, raging with hormones, that likes a girl be a creep is beyond me. He seems to be a bit desperate for her attention, meaning he probably really likes her.
If a full grown (wo)man would show this kind of behaviour, yes, they would be a creep.
To me, this sounds like a pretty typical pubescent boy's behaviour.
I half agree with you saying that kids should keep off social media. I think most kids would be better off spending much less time on social media, for sure.
Free_Egg_5820: First of all hes 17 and shes 15 so he must be a senior or at least junior and shes either a freshman or sophomore. She already pointed him out as a stalker I mean you can’t everyone In this world but ok ok let her just ignore It and feed Into the horny dude… naw f that he needs to learn some respect and boundaries cause If he doesn’t learn at the AGE OF 17 he’s never going to learn and he’s gonna find himself In some trouble. Wow I can’t believe you approve that stuff 🤦🏽♂️ I feel bad If you have/ever have kids smh
Booskop89: I never said I approve of his behaviour, but first of all, she should talk to him about it, and if she doesn't dare to do so, she should indeed ask an adult to talk to him. But so far apart from being a bit to persistant in trying to grab her attention he didn't do anything wrong imo.
But, as you said, if she's bothered by his behaviour, he should be talked to, preferably by her, and otherwise an adult.
I have to say I misread/misremembered and I thought they were both 15 btw.
Also, you're completely overreacting to my post in your last statement, but oh well. Have a nice day!
| 5 | 2 | |
1651293384 | 1651301035 | t3_uf3p7c | t5_2to41 | 319 | Wywymarch224: TIFU by gassing my wife and two dogs
Writing this as I sit outside with my wife and two dogs while the house ventilates.
Noticed today that my dishwasher wasn't draining properly. Being a dumbass I thought to myself, "Well I can fix this myself.". So I went to the store and purchased some Drāno. Thought since it always worked on the sink and shower, why wouldn't it work on the dishwasher? Shortly after pouring it in and running it, my wife noticed a strange smell going through the house. She very concerningly asked me about the smell, to which I gave a confident answer of " oh don't worry, it's just the Drāno I put in the dishwasher.". This is where I found out that I fucked up. She showed me on the bottle where it says "If gasses are released, evacuated immediately and ventilate the area.". I told her it would be fine since I didn't see why running the dish washer would release gas, but she insisted we google it. A quick Google search revealed that I definitely SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT. Thankfully we called poison control and they said that we'd be ok and all that would happen is pretty bad nostril and lung irritation due to the gas released. Similar to if you poured bleach everywhere. In the end everyone is ok and all the windows are open and fans are running in the house. Learned that a quick Google search never hurts. Now I have to get a new dishwasher...oops.
TLDR; Put Drāno in the dishwasher and gassed my house with bleach gas.
brittmac422: Not what I expected from the title. Expected you to have a rooty tooty booty and they got mad at ya. This was a fair bit more dangerous I'd say.
Wywymarch224: "Rooty tooty booty" thanks for that. Made my night 😂
brittmac422: I am here to serve.....
| 4 | 79.75 |
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