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1652507545 | 1652508318 | t3_upaova | t5_2to41 | 8 | Boogie661: TIFU
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ApprehensiveNews5728: Never loan money to friends or family. Anything given to them should be considered a gift.
Boogie661: I disagree it’s not a gift they asked for a loan and promised pay back but I see where you’re coming from and I appreciate it 😀
ApprehensiveNews5728: I should say IF you’re going to give them money, you shouldn’t expect to get it back.
Boogie661: You’re right that was my bad I shouldn’t have expected to get it back I was just hoping they would
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1652515120 | 1652526557 | t3_upcg83 | t5_2to41 | 8 | 0fuckthislife0: TIFU by not saying no to my bf (now ex) and getting trumatized.
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Additional-Aerie-705: You should've said no. You were literally in a cab with someone else there that was a perfect excuse. You don't just go into autopilot and do things especially a blow job. You may say things in autopilot but to physically put your mouth on someone's penis especially after SA is not automatic response. You have him the impression that you were okay with it starting with the hand job, in sorry but this one is on you
Leda71: Wow, how insightful. You obviously have NO IDEA how childhood sexual assault affects the victim. Leave her alone
Additional-Aerie-705: I do have an idea. Don't assume my past was sunshine and rainbows just because of my response.
Leda71: I am truly sorry that you have had traumatic experiences. There is so much of this in the world snd it breaks my heart. I apologize for assuming that you haven’t experienced trauma- that was wrong of me.
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1652515914 | 1652567134 | t3_upcmrq | t5_2to41 | 11,399 | Complex-Garage8714: TIFU by screaming at a customer's penis and got suspended.
Friday 13,
I (28F) work at a hardware store. It is located at the very centre of town so we have many customers who come from rural areas to buy stuff wholesale so they can then go and sell in retail.
So, it is normal for customers to come carrying a lot of cash, sometimes up to a full backpack or travel bag. There are other ways too that they carry the cash, some stack it in their socks and some stack in in pockets of one trouser and then put on another trouser on top of it (for security), which was the case today.
Here it goes: A man comes into the store, I take his order for almost half an hour (he was buying a lot of stuff), I then give him the total he has to pay and he proceeds to unfasten his fly (because I am used to this, it normaly doesn't alarm me as much anymore). When he is done unfastening his fly I see what I think is a penis and I scream and almost choke on my own air/saliva (maybe both). My boss immediately got to her feet and came straight to me and asked what was wrong. I couldn't speak, one-because I was still in shock, two-it was just really big and three-it was still there, just happily hanging.. I kept looking away as if my boss would get the hint and I would be spared having to explain. Finally, my boss saw it and got the point. She told me to go wait in the office. But by the tine he got to me I was just embarassed, she told me to take a week off -without pay. She said if I had acted as an adult and not looked or atlease not made a scene, I wouldn't get the week layoff. I am not one to argue, plus I needed to recover anyway, although I need the money more. Also, if I had argued I may have lost the job completely.
TLDR; I saw a customer's penis, screamed and now I am suspended for it.
EDIT: The country is Tanzania (since many are asking). But don't condemn the country, it is awesome. I just happen to work for a shit boss.
xTasteTheRainbow: I agree with the boss.
You’re 28 and act like that. (You can be shocked or shy but screaming like a 15 year old and making a scene is another thing entirely)
Never go to the beach.
Or the gym.
mynameisvlad: Why are you so nonchalant about someone pulling their dick out at strangers. Do you do this often enough that you don’t bat an eye at the action?
This is straight up victim blaming.
xTasteTheRainbow: There it is. Victim blaming argument in 0.2 seconds
mynameisvlad: Answer the question.
xTasteTheRainbow: I’ll pass. I know you like getting boners over defending women on the internet.
mynameisvlad: The words you were looking for are "I have no way to defend this behavior"
There, did it for you.
xTasteTheRainbow: Congrats. She’s still not gonna reply to you.
mynameisvlad: You're still an apologist for a guy that would have been kicked out and potentially sent to jail in a more civilized place.
Doesn't mean he'll stick his big dick in you any more than before. Clearly that's what you crave. See, I can do it too.
xTasteTheRainbow: And I still don’t care to encourage your boner. Go be a simp in another post bro. I’m not even reading anything you’re saying. Take the hint.
mynameisvlad: Yet you still care enough to reply.
Sorry you can't put two thoughts together to actually defend a position when challenged on it. That's quite sad.
xTasteTheRainbow: >Sorry you can't put two thoughts together to actually defend a position when challenged on it. That's quite sad.
Adorable. The boy is confusing indifference with a lack of argument.
You really think you’re the Center of the world don’t you. That’s gonnna turn off those women you desperately wanna attract bro. Goodluck with that.
mynameisvlad: Oh honey. I thought you weren't reading my comments. Try harder next time. Your "indifference" looks a lot like "butt hurt" and you didn't even get his big dick.
I wonder how many times you blamed the victim and got called out on it to be so triggered by a phrase.
xTasteTheRainbow: >Try harder next time.
I guess I need to Google indifference for you.
mynameisvlad: What you're doing sure doesn't look like indifference to me.
But go on. Humor me on how continuing to comment while obviously reading and clinging to my words is "indifference".
xTasteTheRainbow: Yeah I’m gonna revert back to my older comment: it’s so obvious you have a boner for defending women. How’s that working out for you so far? Life wise?
mynameisvlad: Lol if you say so.
Next time, maybe get the other person's sexuality right if you want your argument to have any weight to it.
If we're reverting back to old comments, you still haven't defended your obviously toxic original comment. How about starting there.
xTasteTheRainbow: For someone that loves hearing themselves talk the first time I ask an actual question and you dodge it. Very interesting.
mynameisvlad: You first.
xTasteTheRainbow: 
mynameisvlad: Wow, bravo. Sure got me there.
How about answering the question.
xTasteTheRainbow: Nice deflecting.
All talk but when it comes to you self reflecting that a no bueno huh? See ya chump.
mynameisvlad: I'm gay you idiot. I already answered your question you're just too dumb to know.
xTasteTheRainbow: No one cares bro. You stopped getting a medal for coming out of the closet years ago.
mynameisvlad: Apparently making it explicit is the only way it gets through your thick skull.
Still see silence about that whole "siding with the guy that indecently exposed himself" thing. Maybe you should work on that instead of the whole "definition of indifference" that you still don't quite get.
| 25 | 455.96 | |
1652518375 | 1652525155 | t3_upd5zp | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling on love with Redditor resulting in destroying her life
[deleted]
TerminallyBlonde: Your family sounds like assholes and I can't believe you chose them over her. If anyone ever gives you an ultimatum, usually that means they're the ones you should drop right away, cuz ultimatums rarely come from healthy places (of course there's exceptions).
devnullius: Amen!
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1652522562 | 1652541555 | t3_upe2yw | t5_2to41 | 258 | FallenAngel7334: TIFU by embarrassing my GF in public.
[removed]
Rosey991: I don’t find this funny ngl
Alright y’all to the hate comments; this is not my humor. I can state that how y’all can be hateful towards me, so chill.
It is my humor just not necessarily in public. Thanks!
random002501: Then move on to the next post why waste time spreading shitty energy
Rosey991: Cause… I’m allowed to say my opinion like anyone else? Lol
random002501: My question was why waste your time spreading shitty energy. You're complaining about the 'hate' you're getting, but you were spreading it in the first place. You're allowed to do anything, but why waste your own time?
Rosey991: Cause I’m not lol. It’s the internet, I didn’t spread hate or shitty energy by stating my own opinion.
If you think people who disagree with you do that, then there’s something wrong with the way you perceive opinions.
| 6 | 43 | |
1652524024 | 1652545300 | t3_upeeq4 | t5_2to41 | 281 | Imjonathan123: TIFU by being the weakest link in my group
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sammysuillus: You're not holding anyone back. For them to judge and dismissed your whole group for that is very shallow, immature behavior. I wouldn't want to hangout with people like that. You helped your friends dodge a bullet
iridescentrae: It’s dancing. It’s sexual. They have the right to refuse to dance with someone for whatever reason.
GabsAF: Sure, but they could just say "Sorry, I'm here with someone else" instead of turning them down at the expense of someone else's good time. Kindness is free.
iridescentrae: But it sounds like everyone would have known it was a lie, and possibly made it an issue…?
And OP didn’t fuck up, by the way. Tbh I don’t think anyone did.
domelremps: You like, ALMOST had it at the end then dropped it again saying no one fucked up.
iridescentrae: This sub is obviously full of incels.
DietHumanity: Hahaha, people disagreeing with you?
*CaLl ThEm An InCeL*
iridescentrae: Lol! You must not know anything about the incel stereotype.
No one is obligated to dance with you.
Gross.
CanlStillBeGarth: Not wanting to dance with someone doesn’t excuse being shitty either. They could have just said no to the guy who asked without insulting his friend. That’s the point.
iridescentrae: But they still wanted to dance with the other guys.
They didn’t have to say no to all of them. Wtf.
They just didn’t want to dry hump one person in particular.
It’s fine. They’re allowed to do that.
They even tried to use a euphemism to let him down easy.
CanlStillBeGarth: You just sound like a shitty person tbh.
I would never tell someone to their face that I just met “hey, you’re friend is just too ugly to hang with us but you’re cool.” Because that’s shitty.
No one is expecting anyone to dance with them, OP explicitly states this.
iridescentrae: Wasn’t responding to the OP, who, again, didn’t do anything wrong.
Was responding to the incels who don’t think women should have the right to refuse a dance/dry hump.
And, again, the woman or women didn’t say that. They used a euphemism.
CanlStillBeGarth: Again, literally no one you replied to said this.
Calling someone’s friend ugly to their face is shitty behavior. You are defending shitty behavior.
And now you’re exhibiting shitty behavior by calling anyone who disagrees with you an Incel.
You’re a shitty person.
iridescentrae: They were called shallow and told that they shouldn’t have been allowed to dance with any of the men.
Lol.
Typical incel behavior.
CanlStillBeGarth: > You're not holding anyone back. For them to judge and dismissed your whole group for that is very shallow, immature behavior. I wouldn't want to hangout with people like that. You helped your friends dodge a bullet
This is the closest comment could find to this. No one says the woman shouldn’t be allowed to do anything.
And dismissing a single person from a group of people simply because of their looks is shallow and immature. You’d only disagree if you’re also shallow and immature.
iridescentrae: They’re allowed to consent or not consent for whatever reason.
If they don’t find someone sexually attractive, they don’t have to dry hump them.
Period.
AureIiaAurita: I'm going to spell this out for you as clearly as possible since you're trying very hard to dodge what literally everybody has tried to tell you.
They are not saying the women cannot refuse to dance with someone. They're saying the way the women said it was rude. Generally, around kindergarten age, we teach children basic manners and respect for one another. That would encompass not insulting someone to their face based purely on their physical appearance.
"No, thank you" would have been a proper response. Singling somebody out as the reason, in this situation, is unnecessary and rude behavior.
iridescentrae: Everyone’s ignoring the parts about how they shouldn’t be allowed to dance with any of them, how I apparently didn’t know what “incel” meant, etc.
Ignoring comments now. Be incels all you want. I’m not going to put forth the effort to change you.
AureIiaAurita: "I'm wrong but have the emotional and mental capacity of a snapped twig so I'm going to call everyone incels and mute the thread" is very telling of your behavior as a person beyond the internet, and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody shows you that the hard way someday.
Also, I'm not a man. Literally cannot be an incel, sorry to burst your bubble.
Assholejack89: What's amazing is that he thought he was here to change people's opinion when we haven't disagreed with the notion that they are able to say "no", at all, at any point.
He's basically preaching to the choir of his own deluded mind at this point.
| 21 | 13.380952 | |
1652530782 | 1652543006 | t3_upg2xp | t5_2to41 | 288 | [deleted]: TIFU by gaining unauthorized access to my school's system and deleting it
[deleted]
no_name_no_face: It's not a secret if you tell anyone.
Also, not a very good friend...
dsheroh: >It's not a secret if you tell anyone.
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. - Mark Twain
colour_me_quaint: Oh man, I'm disappointed in myself for only knowing that quote as part of the theme song for Pretty Little Liars. That show was so cringe, I don't know why I watched it as long as I did.
marysuingfordamages: Lmao I’m glad I’m not the only one. I literally just sang it in my head
| 5 | 57.6 | |
1652537140 | 1652538648 | t3_uphyrt | t5_2to41 | 44 | suikodudeman: TIFU By putting my foot in my mouth as a teen when I assumed a woman was pregnant (and then proceeded to put the other foot in as well)
This happened roughly 20 years ago when I was 17 years old. I was in a Barnes & Nobles browsing for some new books to read like I did a lot back then (always had a love of reading), but sadly couldn't find anything that caught my interest in the fiction or scifi sections. Decided to go check out the graphic novel/manga section. Now not sure how B&N are arranged today, but at the time at that particular store the sections were on opposite sides of the building, so I had to cut through child care, parenting, and baby section ... and **THAT'S** where the trouble began.
On the way there I see this woman. Don't remember many details about her today other than the fact that she, as my late grandmother would've put it, looked like a 'broom stick that swallowed a basketball'; runway model skinny but with a large rounded belly only up front (not all the way around). Given how she looked and what section of the store I saw her in, my mind put two and two together and I just casually and politely said "Congratulations on the baby. It gonna be a boy or girl, or you keeping it a surprise?" Yeah yeah, I can hear you all out there snickering and/or face-palming, but thing is at the time no one told me the social faux pas of *not* asking a woman that (I mean obviously I didn't assume EVER woman with a large stomach was pregnant, but given the situation you can understand why I assumed).
If looks could kill, I'd have been smote on the spot about 7 or 8 times in that moment, because she glares at me and then angrily says, "I'm not pregnant, you dumb f\*ck!"
Now, this is where the story *should* have ended, with me apologizing and leaving the store in embarrassment. But nope, that's not what happened.
See, as a teen I had this defense mechanism where if I got super embarrassed/nervous/upset/etc, I'd respond with sarcasm and snark. Got me in trouble more times than it helped, but I couldn't help it (I've since worked on it, mostly because of **THIS** incident). So on pure reflex and no filter what-so-ever, I respond by saying, "Well then, you should *really* have a doctor examine that tumor!"
I am sure I made cheetahs proud with how quickly I hauled a$$ out of that bookstore after leaving her in seething slacked jawed anger at what I said lol.
Tl;dr - Saw what I assumed was a pregnant lady in a bookstore, congratulated her and was told off angrily by her she wasn't pregnant, the responded with snark that she had a tumor.
Rainbow62993: I'm going to assume she either had a tumor, had an ovarian cyst that was beyond out of hand, or was in severe liver failure.
Going to stick with she had a tumor for the humor.
suikodudeman: I don't know what she had as I (thankfully for the both of us) never encountered her again.
Guess like a "choose your own adventure" story, going with whatever you think it was is probably for the best.
Rainbow62993: Honestly though, as a woman, if I had a condition that made me look very much pregnant, and I was standing in a whole baby/parenting section of a book store and someone congratulated me and/or asked me questions about my pregnancy, I wouldn't even get mad.
suikodudeman: Again, that was the ONLY reason I even said anything: The location of the store she was in. Any other place and I'd have not said a thing unless someone else was congratulating her on the baby or something to confirm it. I'm just surprised she didn't follow me out of the store screaming and ranting at me, as I definitely deserved it when that reflexive snark lol.
Rainbow62993: Yeah, I don't even blame you for initially congratulating her given the circumstances. I use to go into the same defensive mode - still do depending on the situation - so I get it.
| 6 | 7.333333 | |
1652538074 | 1652635321 | t3_upi9cv | t5_2to41 | 441 | RegrettableUsername1: TIFU after lying about my name for years
For about 7 years now I have lied to nearly everyone I know about what my name is. For context my name is typically spelt with a double L but for whatever reason my parents decided on the less common version with a singular L. The fact my name was spelt in a pretty irregular way had always frustrated me throughout my life, my parents have always told me that they think it looks nicer that way but to me it just looks like some typo. Anyway when I was just starting Secondary School (High School for you Americans) I realised on the first day that on the school system they had spelt my name in the more common way with the two Ls, in retrospect I probably should have told them it was a mistake but because of my dislike of how my name was really spelt, I decided not to say anything. This didn't mean much at first but as things progressed I had to do more and more to sustain this dumb lie. I wrote my name wrong on all my schoolbooks, and I created all new social media accounts with the misspelling to withhold the lie. Now even my 6th form ID has this has the fake name on it and to this day none of my friends have a clue. There are only a few people in the world that know about this lie, of course my parents do but even a lot of family members such as my cousins are completely oblivious to the truth. Even after all of these years it has never really been a burden to uphold this, until now. Right now I am attempting to get into universities and it has just dawned on me that my school will likely be sending out their information regarding the students, I feel like potential unis and jobs having nothing to connect an applicant with any legal documents or birth certificates might end up fucking up my chances in life. I feel like it's too late to tell every person that trusts me that I have been lying to them all this time and I am genuinely considering that legally changing my name could be the more convenient option.
TLDR; I have been lying to everyone I know about what my name is for years and my lies are finally coming to fuck me over.
forgotMyPrevious: Can’t you change your name at the registry so that it matches the widely-known version? It’s a fairly common procedure in my country (more so in the past century, but still).
RegalGibbon: UK does not have a central name registry.
1000000CHF: In the UK, OP can change their name by Deed Poll.
LJMcMillan: This is not legally necessary, essentially a scam. You do NOT have to change your name by deed poll to be legally recognized by a different name.
Tenshinen: A deed poll is literally just a piece of paper declaring a new name, that's it
I could draft and print one up right now and it's effectively legally binding and places have to abide by it
Not sure how that could be 'a scam'
LJMcMillan: Essentially, because the majority of the population think you have to go through an "Official" website/company.
Tenshinen: Well yes, there *are* deed poll scams, who pretend to be an official bureau to get your money, but the concept of a deed poll itself is not a scam
LJMcMillan: Deed poll is not necessary to legally change your name.
Tenshinen: By all means please tell me of ways you can do so without one, it'd be good to know
Because it was of my understanding that the only way to do so, in the UK, was to write a letter, officially known as a deed poll, and show it to any company/group who you want to change your name with
LJMcMillan: All of these are acceptable:
• civil partnership certificates
• Post-Date form 2 (PD2)
• gender recognition certificates (GRCs)
• enrolled deed poll
• change of name deed
• unenrolled deed poll
• adoption order or certificate
• act of Parliament
• statutory declarations
• affidavits
• birth certificate (when re-registering)
• Scottish birth certificates
• certificate from the Court of the Lord Lyon of Scotland
Also it is possible to get your name on your passport changed via a confirmatory statement, written or verbal, from the original cosigner.
| 11 | 40.090909 | |
1652543236 | 1652547176 | t3_upjz4n | t5_2to41 | 66 | Sad_Confuzed: TIFU by pointing out how different I look (physically) relative to the rest of my family members
Disclaimer: Throwaway for obvious reasons
Tldr; I pointed out how I had more body hair compared to the rest of my family members (little to none). Family joked that I could've been swapped at birth, at which point I remarked it shouldn't change anything at this point of life. Sister suggested I should cough up on everything spent on me if that is the case. I know it is a joke, but now I can't help but feel hurt thinking how I would be easily cast aside if something were to happen.
A little background, my family members have fair skin, and are not generally hairy. I (25M) on the other hand, have tan skin, although I'm rarely out in the sun. Also, I am considered to be hairy (leg hair, arm hair, chest hair) — though not thick. My parents used to remarked jokingly that I was picked up from the trash/swapped at birth (it's culturally okay for senior to make these jokes) and I had never thought too much into it. My reasoning: I was born prematurely, so I would've been very obvious if I was switched at birth as I was very small (a little over 4lbs). Also at this point of life, even if my family are not biological, it wouldn't matter to me anyway. They are my family, blood or not.
FU happened earlier today when we were all at home catching up. My father and I were both wearing shorts and I pointed out how my legs were hairy while his are quite smooth. Parents joked that I might have been swapped at birth and I laugh along. I told them, it shouldn't matter if that is the case. My sister (22F) then remarked that I should return all money my parents spent raising me and sending me to college.
Ngl, that comment stung as I doted on Sister a lot and it wasn't like I haven't contributed anything to my family (I couldn't fully support my family financially yet, but I have been treating them to good food and travel whenever I can afford it — one step a time).
It could've been totally a joke, but now I can't stop mulling over the remark and wondering what would happen if it were true and I was accidentally swapped at birth. What if we found out in the future, would she cast me out of the family just like that?
Edit: the reason I reacted the way I did was because my parents spent a lot of money sending me to college so that we could move out of our social class. As a result, Sister had to work extra hard to secure a scholarship for her studies. I have always felt guilty about that, and the remark made me feel like a financial liability, and that she resented me for that
Edit2: thanks for all the comments. I understand genetics and they're my family without doubt. I love them. Blood or not, I would never trade them for anyone else in the world. Looking through the comments, it seems that I might had been overly sensitive. I will try my best to stop overthinking this and will probably have a chat with Sister if this comes up again and if I still feel uncomfortable. To those suggesting DNA tests, thanks for the suggestion, but I don't think I ever will. That thing wrecks family bro. There's nothing to gain and everything to lose. Cheers
theBacillus: I bet the mail man is hairy
Sad_Confuzed: My parents are very much faithful and loving to each other, thank you. And I don't appreciate you insinuating my mom is cheating. That's a shitty thing to say, especially now
throwaway7002__: Ok I understand ur not in the best situation rn, but you are over reacting at a small joke.
wrcker: Wonder if the mail man also had no sense of humor.
theBacillus: Found the mail man.
| 6 | 11 | |
1652543487 | 1652596242 | t3_upk25b | t5_2to41 | 72 | bigmoronthrowaway1: TIFU by giving my daughter my cell.
Throw away account for many reasons.
My wife( 37 )and I (36) are starting to look at swinging and downloaded an app to talk to other swingers. The app looks innocuous and doesn't say swinging straight out.
Fast forward to this past Thursday. We thought our daughter had a UTI so I took her to the doctor. My daughter is on spectrum high functioning with ADHD. I don't like my kid being that kid and annoying every one in the waiting room. So I made sure all apps were closed and set it to YouTube so she could watch something. I gave instructions to only go on YouTube. Well ....
Fast forward to Friday morning and my daughter tells my wife "Mommy, Daddy has app on his phone for a bunch of people looking for dates." Epic facepalm...
My wife covers and says "Mommy knows everything on Daddy's phone and he doesn't have anything like that, just an app for finding friends." Which I guess is technically the truth. Since then I have downloaded a new launcher that allows me to change the name/ appearance of the app so she hopefully can't find it.
Tldr: wife and I are starting to swing, dtr found the app on my phone.
LogProgrammatically1: This story is confusing because it’s about your daughter but then the doctor is named Dr. Daughter
HTHSFI: My wife had a doctor whose last name is "Doctor".
It was kind of strange talking about doctor Doctor.
monolith737: Who am I to judge..
HTHSFI: Just thought I'd take advantage of what you said on this topic to tell about what we ran across.
I thought you may find that interesting.
Luccacalu: it's a reference to the movie doctor strange, the protagonist's called Stephen Strange, and there's a dialogue like this:
-Ok, mister...?
-Doctor.
-Mister doctor?
-It's Strange...
-Hm, maybe, who am I to judge?
| 6 | 12 | |
1652544973 | 1652548582 | t3_upkkpe | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost fighting 3 guys on my own in front of my girlfriend
[deleted]
Assholejack89: You didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have done in your situation.
I do think you may need to talk it out with a counselor, though.
You're also trying to make this into a lose/win scenario. It isn't. At the end of the day nobody cares why they did what they did or even that they did it in the first place. You're the only one who cares, which, sure, understandable, but looking at it in a bigger context there is no win, because life goes on. I mean, in a few days none of this will even matter.
CommonLion5002: That’s a great way of putting it. Yeah. I think it’s time to get back into therapy. I’ve thought about it for a while, but this feels like a wake up call. Even though it didn’t end in a brawl, I know better than that and I know a couple of months ago I would not have reacted that way. I should be in therapy for her if anything.
And also, correct. It’s just a stupid situation and who even cares. Nobody got actually hurt and I haven’t fucked anything up past a point of no return. I just need to remember that when I feel rage like that. Because I never want to feel that again. I hate not feeling in control and last night I didn’t.
Thank you, your response means a lot
WhisperedEchoes85: >I should be in therapy for her if anything.
While I understand the sentiment, you should be in therapy for yourself, first and foremost. It's similar to telling an addict that they need to get clean for themselves or it won't have the same effect.
CommonLion5002: Oh you’re right, what I said just came out the wrong way. It’s for myself and for me to get better absolutely
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1652548407 | 1652549327 | t3_uplrph | t5_2to41 | 9 | Toxic_369: TIFU by drinking after work
[removed]
perfectlypoachedpen1: Yeah, you didn't fuck up. working for him would likely have been hell. sorry you have to get a new job.
only reason he MAY be reasonable, if you are 18 and legal drinking age where you are is 21, then he probably didn't want the consequences of an underage person drinking in his bar. but i assume that's likely not the case.
Toxic_369: 18 is legal age in Australia, I know two people that work under him. Just feels like such a shit way to get fired.
Toxic_369: It’s late and I can’t vent to anyone because it’s 3am, so, thanks for the reply man, it means a lot
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1652549334 | 1652553182 | t3_upm37w | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU By Wearing Camo Shorts and Tinted rain/windshield
[deleted]
shakemysoup: It's raining in my house. I ride a bike, so I decided to dry my hat and now I have 80 days left, so I decided to hide my old jeans. I see too
I'm eating now and everyone is stopping me because I want to try Iberia. Why do people report restaurant employees to the police?
I'll give it to you if I lose. I also play Reddy, who has enough police history to kidnap Peter.
We do not follow Trump, he is not a stupid card.
TL: If you are black after a police report, do not wear TR pants.
RandomGhostAccount: ... I recognize every single word. I simply cannot understand them when you put them together in that particular order.
shakemysoup: Scias, I know everything. If you are too prepared, you will not be able to control yourself.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1652543008 | 1652592652 | t3_upjwee | t5_2to41 | 23 | Spartajw42: TIFU hiking a mountain and getting altitude sickness
This was a few years ago. I was recently divorced looking for something new and adventurous. I have a lot of friends that live in Denver and Fort Collins and snowboarding is one of my main passions so I relocated from Idaho to Denver.
While the ski season lasts pretty long I obviously needed some sort of activity during the summer. Hiking and camping were the obvious choice. One of my best friends, let's call him George, convinced me to hike a 14er called Torrey's Peak. We took a long route on the backside that most don't go. It was exhilarating. I was addicted to the idea of 14ers.
Flash forward several months. We decided to summit Long's Peak. I, believing this would be a normal "hike", prepared like I normally did. I took a midafternoon nap and got picked up around midnight so we could hit the trailhead around 4 am. In the parking lot there were loads of people getting ready to go. A lone traveler, Mike from Iowa, approached our group and asked if he could join. We of course said yes (more on that later).
So we hit the trail. When you looked back the ribbon of headlamps was mesmerizing. We passed several signs that were actually warnings. But, hey, I've hiked 14ers before. No big deal. So we keep going. By the time dawn arrives we've entered a boulder field. This is the first indication that this isn't a normal hike but still not that intense.
We reached what the route is named after, Keyhole, around 6:30. Glorious sunrise coming over the plains. Time to go summit. And this is where my problems, unbeknownst to myself, begin.
We checked out a stone cabin and headed towards the summit. Not long after Keyhole you come to a section referred to as The Narrows. When I got there I saw my best friend white faced. Before I turned left to see what he saw I asked "What's up?". He said he was not going any further. I poked my head around and remarked "I got this". So, on I go.
At this point it is clearly not a hike. You are scrambling and climbing. There is a 1000'+ drop on one side, aka certain death. I've never been fond of heights but somehow I'm not scared at all. In hindsight this is where I the altitude really started having an impact on my judgement. So, on I go.
After The Narrows you have to climb thru endless rocks. There is no trail just markers on large rocks indicating the path. This is where I started to feel nauseous. I threw up several times in the summit push. In my mind I still felt fine otherwise so I didn't think it was a big deal. I could see the summit, I just wanted to get there. Later I would learn the term "summit fever".
In a haze, I actually summit. But I do not feel well. Half our party has turned back prior. Take some pics with those who made it. And it's time to go down. With every step down in altitude my mind seemed to clear. All the way down to The Narrows. By the time I got there I was "awake", and terrified. It was like a nightmare. Not only could I not believe that I came up that route but could, in no way, believe that I could descend it.
Alas the remaining friends literally walked and talked every single step, grab, and release. It was agonizing and one of the scariest things I've ever done. All the while I'm still sick to my stomach. But I made it to Keyhole. I'm good right? Wrong.
I continued to throw up any water consumed. This is where my trail angel Mike from Iowa comes in. He had electrolyte powder packs and gave me some. That and my friends carrying my pack thru the boulder field got me back to the treeline. By then I finally started to feel ok. I took several looks back, smh. Everyone in my party had eyes on me, and I knew it. I fucked up. I did not pay attention to my mind and body. I simply focused on the goal, the summit. That is what we came for right?
We reach the parking lot. Time for a celebratory beer. We offer one to Mike from Iowa who says "Let me put my pack in my car, brb,". Never saw him again.
Thanks Mike for the electrolytes. And thanks to my favorite girl in Alaska for holding my hand down The Narrows.
TL;DR: Climbed a mountain that was more difficult than I thought and got altitude sick. Most irresponsible personal decision I've ever made and put others in a situation that they should not have had to deal with. Could've died, counting my lucky stars to this day. To this day I'll turn back on easy summits if I even begin to feel the slightest bit odd or ill.
shakemysoup: A few years ago I was looking for something new and interesting. I have many friends who live in Denver and Fort Collins, traveling is a hobby for me, so I moved from Idaho to Denver.
Get ready for snow Even after the ski season is over, hiking and camping are possible. My good friend George encouraged me to choose the best 14 bathrooms. We have a long way to go. Most people have never seen this idea in 14 years. So I do not know.
A few months ago I took off my blanket and decided to take a long walk. It is usually a "plan" that I sleep through the fire all night and wake up at 16.00. Several bikes were fixed in the parking lot, an IOR climber joined our group and asked if we should go. Of course we wanted everything (previous).
Keep going. The light slowly warmed up. He went to the sign to warn of dangers, but he was 14 years old. The pets do not have pets, so we went to Khan the next morning. Not only was this the first sign of development, it was not.
This road is called "Cahul" 06: 3 The sun rises beautifully on the earth, it is time to get off the roof and walk. This is where my problem starts, I do not know
We found a stone house and left. Shortly after Kelly's release, he was taken to a place called Ticino. When I came in I saw that my best friend's face was white. What I saw before I woke up. I said: What happened? He told me not to go any further. So I left.
He does not like 1000+ altitude injuries and his injuries right now, but for some reason I'm not afraid of him. Finally, the decision-making process is important. So let me
After the sun you have to eat the eternal stone, no, it's just an important moment that I remember here I caught something when I went I did not think right, I did not think so when I saw it, I do not know guess guess what it was. I have to go there. Eventually the word "high fever" appeared
I'm too dark, but I'm not looking for friends. Every time I went to the mountains to take pictures and relax with the photographers, my mind was clear, and when I got there another cat, I was afraid it was like a dream I had never thought of, but there was no way.
But all the other boys got up. It's very sad and something hurt my stomach, but I gave Kelly an insurance, it hurt
Let the water The IOC Ambassador's frequent user grabbed the microphone bag and touched the powdered electrolyte. My friend packed his things and Bomlin went back. Eventually I felt better, I came up with some reminders that the whole team looked at me and knew I wanted to play, I was the same mentally and physically because I just wanted to focus, so are we all responsible?
I came into town, had a good beer and slept with Ayur Mike who asked me to put him in the car, BRB will never see him again.
Thanks for the electronics, thanks to Mike Alaska for introducing my friend Norris.
Another TL DR: I thought I would hit the river and die to convince myself and others. "Lucky star died today. Easy return now ...
Spartajw42: What the actual fuck?
shakemysoup: Yes?
Spartajw42: No
benwill369: This dudes comment made me feel like I’m in a simulation. Actual stroke inducing text
Spartajw42: Yeah, I just... I just don't know.
| 7 | 3.285714 | |
1652551216 | 1652665045 | t3_upmpog | t5_2to41 | 136 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking a bottle of cough syrup and sniffing glue
[removed]
Decent_Establishment: Be careful OP, those are some serious risks your taking for your liver. I hope you recover quick and never do it again.
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: Nahhh dex all the way
MVPizzle: The Juice Wrld generation is gonna end up just like him too
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: You know nothing about dex
MVPizzle: Bro your whole profile is just “tripping playlists” while defending abusing over the counter medicine to get high 😂🤣 you’re a straight up JUNKIE lmao
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: Junkie is needle shit. Government brainwashed you to hate on drugs thinking its detrimental to one's healths you're the braindead one
MVPizzle: Dog I take molly and smoke weed like a chimney. Drugs aren’t a big deal. ABUSING OTC COUGH SYRUP? You are a junkie lol
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: Ooh you take Molly JUNKIE!!! And no I don't drink syrup I take freebase pills. Guess you the junkie
Its funny you don't even know what a junkie is just blatantly using the term
MVPizzle: I looked at your Reddit. You’re a junky. I’m off this engagement, pay your taxes before Darwin takes you ✌🏽
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: Keep usin that word that you don't know the definition of seems to make you feel better about your own junkie ass
MVPizzle: Yep, I roll once a year so I’m a junky. Your hobby is drinking cough syrup and you’re great. Gods graces my man.
OddyNuffDaScarecrow: Ah yes it's my hobby you got a magic ball and watch my life right junkie?
| 13 | 10.461538 | |
1652552071 | 1652587563 | t3_upn03f | t5_2to41 | 1,934 | [deleted]: TIFU by rubbing one out before my friends stopped over.
[deleted]
ddnut80: You gotta wash the jizz towel. There’s no need to be crusty.
randomname2017: Lesson learned. Haha
SweaterInaCan: My brother when we were younger had this spiral notebook he would jizz into a different page every time it was the grossest smelliest crusty brick of paper and it took years to get him to just do it in the shower or toilet like a normal person.
DbzDokkanCat: I read somewhere that jizz clogs shower drainage really badly. Imagine having to unclog jizz.
jaytrainer0: I remember that myth going around when I was in college
TheAryanBrotherhood: Not exactly a myth. It's a protein. So when jizz meets hot water it starts to cook. Turns into a Chunky substance that sticks to things. This combined with hair already stuck in the drain makes this sort of hairjizz combo that can clog drains pretty good.
Smellyviscerawallet:
As soon as the hallucinogens I just took kick in, I'm going to force myself to imagine wringing that rancid, hairy drain burrito custard right out into my mouth.
And. Just. Swallowing.
splizzyhoestar: seek help
Spiritual-Custard-51: Seek a hairy burrito
splizzyhoestar: i'll seek a bridge to leap from instead
Spiritual-Custard-51: Great idea, wondering around bridges (specially at night) would probably get you multiple burritos :D
| 12 | 161.166667 | |
1652513826 | 1652847070 | t3_upc5y1 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Aussiealterego: TIFU by opening fertiliser inside!
It's heading into winter here, so I'm sowing the last of the winter crops for my veggie garden inside in seed trays, in the warmth of the house, so they germinate. Some of the seedlings looked like they needed a boost, so I picked up a whizz-bang, highly recommended, organic, biodynamic fertiliser to boost the nutrient content of the soil.
I opened it over the kitchen sink to add a capful to a 10 litre watering can, as recommended, and the stench was INCREDIBLE! It smelled like I'd opened the cap to a live sewer. Furthermore, the bottle had been overfilled, so as soon as I unscrewed the cap it spurted out over the sink and my hands.
My daughter is expecting about 10 friends to come over for a movie marathon in about half an hour. The kitchen still smells like an open drain, even after I've wiped down the surfaces twice, scrubbed my hands three times, sprayed a deodoriser and lit a scented candle!
From now on, the fertiliser gets mixes OUTside!
​
TL;DR - it stinks and we are expecting company!
merganzer: I mixed a half gallon of fish emulsion fertilizer (a few tablespoons at a time) into gallon jugs of water tonight, so I sympathize--the smell clings to your hands, even after washing them many times. I wouldn't mess with that stuff inside, though. I wouldn't use it on indoor plants at all, actually.
Aussiealterego: >\-the smell clings to your hands
YES! I scrubbed my nails with a very strongly scented herbal liquid soap a few times to get rid of the lingering miasma so I couldn't smell it when I was trying to eat.
LilBitty2229: White vinegar helps neutralize the smell
| 4 | 9 | |
1652552990 | 1652558580 | t3_upnb7e | t5_2to41 | 65 | Leviathan41911: TIFU by eating powdered peanut butter.
Obligatory, happend a few hours ago.
I'll start this off by saying, yes it was stupid, and yes I should have known better; but somewhere inside me still lives my stupid college guy personally and he likes to screw my day up now and again.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and talking about all the stupid challenges that keep popping up. He pointed out that when we where in high school we used to do dumb things like that too, remember the cinnamon challenge? For those of you lucky enough to excape your childhood without encounting this, let me explain.
The cinnamon challenge was to take a tablespoon of find ground cinnamon and try to eat it in one bite, sounds easy enough right? Well, the thing about cinnamon is that it is such a fine powder that it will suck all the moisture out of your mouth and leave you heaving and inhaling spicy cinnamon particles, then you cough up a lung and everyone laughs at you.
My friend and I both tried it before, and both failed. He said he can't think of a worse thing to try. Que fuck up one, I disagreed, powdered protein mix would probably suck just as much. It's super fine and would likely have the same effect. Then I had an idea, que fuck up number two, I said what would be even worse than that is I have a powered peanut butter mix that I used with my protein shakes. It's pretty much dehydrated peanut butter ground into a super fine powder. My friend argued that probably wouldn't be so bad as the peanut butter would make you salivate and probably wash down pretty easy. I was determined to prove him wrong.
The final fuck up:
We both went to the kitchen, grabbed a spoon and a big heaping pile of powered PB. Cheers! Down the hatch. I'm not sure if he checked out, or I went a split second before hand and he realized it was a bad idea. The PB instantly consumed every bit of moisture I had in my mouth while still mostly being a powder. The stuff thay was no longer a powder has reconstituted into pure peanut butter that coated my entire mouth. This was near instantly. I tried to spit it out, but the reconstituted peanut butter prevented this from happening holding the remainder of the powder in place.
I had to think fast. Because in a few minutes I was doomed be to be remembered was the guy who died eating peanut butter, of I can only imagine what the placard on my headstone would say.
I grabbed a cup and filled it with warm water, to help break down the devil powder that was desperately trying to capture my soul, swish rince repeat. Sounds easy, but much harder when you can't breath while doing it.
After awhile I finally get enough out to be able to breath again, my friend is literally rolling on the floor laughing.
The worst part.... it's been hours and I still taste peanut butter.
Tl;dr: talking with my buddy leads me to try to eat powdered peanut butter, am nearly cursed with being known as the guy who died eating peanut butter.
Scoli85: Queue*
Kfaircloth41: *Cue.
Scoli85: Sweet Jesus, I’m dumb… and high
Kfaircloth41: Lucky. I'm dumb and sober!
Scoli85: I also have Covid… but I feel fine
Kfaircloth41: Oof. Sorry man! Get better soon!
N69420: Just said s/he feels fine.
Kfaircloth41: What's your point? They've still got to get over it. Doesn't mean they can't feel ok through the whole thing. Feel better soon doesn't always mean "I'm sorry you feel miserable".
| 9 | 7.222222 | |
1652554265 | 1652568999 | t3_upnqcd | t5_2to41 | 183 | DankTracer: TIFU by getting kicked out of my house for telling my parents I have ADHD
This happened yesterday and I still cannot believe it.
​
So a little background before I start, I'm a 17(M) yr old and I've been going through symptoms of ADHD my entire life. I'm extremely jittery all the time, I randomly tic and say weird shit anywhere, and its incredibly hard for me to focus at school and pay attention. My family has noticed this too but they choose not to believe in mental disorders and instead make fun of me, just choosing to say shit like "do you have ADHD", "ADHD boy" since I was little. I can never be honest with them about what I'm going though. I've even talked to the doctor about my symptoms around 2 years ago with my sister and my parents got mad at me and started acting cold to me the whole week. I've been ignoring all these symptoms and just going through with my life up until now.
​
I got hired 4 months ago at a boba shop and I honestly love it here. My coworkers are incredibly nice and they're around my age so they're fun to talk to, and it's overall just a chill environment to be in. However, I keep fucking up and they're starting not to like me, especially the managers. Although I'm trying my hardest to not hold them back, I'm incredibly disorganized at work and always make small ass mistakes. I sometimes mess up orders by putting the wrong drinks in, and forget instructions when I'm being told to do something, or I'm just losing focus and not paying attention. I've done this so often that my coworkers are even telling me that I'm "so close to getting fired" because of how many times I'm fucking up but I literally can't control it, and at this point I've chosen to stop ignoring this and that I actually need help because the last thing I want to do is get fired from a job I enjoy.
​
Fast forward to 3rd period in my high school and I'm at my desk damn near breaking down and texting my oldest sister (we'll call her Julie) asking her what I should do. At this point it's fucking me up so bad that I'm seriously considering if I should just go to a doctor myself, which she agrees, but she tells me that I should tell my parents if it's really that bad. Since they've never listened to my issues in the past, I have really bad anxiety about telling them and decide that I can just handle it myself. I get home later and decide that I'll go tomorrow and get checked up early in the morning just in time for work. 2 hours later, I'm getting brought downstairs by my parents because they wanna talk and ask if I'm okay. Knowing they don't give a fuck about my ADHD, I just shrug it off and say that I'm okay, but they know what I've been talking about with Julie because SHE told them too. At this point my dad is over here yelling at me, trying to convince me that I'm just lazy and starts explaining that the "human mind inherits traits" or some stupid bullshit, and that since my room is always messy and disorganized because "I don't wanna clean it", I'm doing the same thing at work because "I don't wanna do anything", and that he knows what he's taking about because he took Psychology in HS. And my mom is agreeing with him for some reason??
​
Of course, that's bullshit, and I'm trying to tell him It's not that and that I'm missing out on small details or not paying attention because it's out of my control, and that I actually want to be there at work and that I try my hardest not to hold them back. Unsurprisingly, my dad responds back and literally says "even if you have ADHD it doesn't matter", and that I should just stop working if I'm holding them back and stop being lazy.
​
At this point I'm in literal tears because I'm trying to be honest about my issues and they're shrugging it off AGAIN, and I start saying shit like "I just wanted your guys support, comfort, or help". Apparently this is enough to make my dad SNAP, and he makes me to get in the car so he can drive me to the hospital, since I need help so bad, and starts SCREAMING at me on the way there. Calling me an ungrateful piece of shit and that he "works 12 hours a day for me and gives me everything I want, but I'm still asking for his support", and just berating me. This makes me snap as well, and I start screaming too, calling him a terrible parent and that every time I try to talk to them about my issues it ends up in the same way, and that both my sisters don't talk to him anymore because he treats us like this. Hearing all this shit, he changes his direction to my auntie's house, and promptly kicks me out, taking my phone and saying "he'll have all my stuff for me tomorrow" and makes me spend the night here. So I currently have no way to call in to my work, or sign into anything and update my friends because I have no phone, and now I'm stuck here at my auntie's.
​
Safe to say I'll never talk to them about my issues again
​
tldr: i keep making small ass mistakes at work and spacing out when im trying my hardest to help out because of my ADHD, coworker said im "so close to getting fired" so I tell ask my sister about what I should do, they tell my parents and my dad tries to convince me that I don't have ADHD and that I'm just lazy. tells me im ungrateful and a piece of shit because i said i just wanted their support and kicked me out of the house and im now stuck at my aunties
Zylork: Honestly, I’m a bit tired of the whole “woe is me” from the ADHD crowd on here. Like you can’t put drink orders in right bro, and it’s just the ADHD? I’ve got Bipolar 1 and ADHD and I’ve been unmedicated for most of it, but I’ll tell you, on or off medication you’ll face downsides. Especially with stimulants, almost everyone I know who’s been prescribed ADHD meds abuses them in some form. ADHD does affect your life but you also need to build actual skills and coping mechanisms besides just hoping “oh this pill will fix me”
Edit for context: ADHD at 16, stimulants until 19 when I moved. Volunteered to go into the Psych Ward at 24 because shit was unraveling more than usual and Bipolar 1 was added. Cannot continue medications due to US and insurance based on work, my job pays atm, but no benefits for me because I’m a “temp”. I’ve gone back on stimulants many intermittent times after 19, it helps at first, and quickly gets “slightly problematic/reliant”
poisonheml0ck: i totally understand where you're coming from here, but there's a time and a place and this isn't it. first of all yes it's important to build skills coping mechanisms but it's incredibly hard to do that as a teenager who has no parental support, sometimes it's hard to even learn how to START doing that, it takes time and being told you aren't doing well enough doesn't help. second of all i know multiple people medication has helped drastically who have had no bad experiences with it, yes you should always be cautious and especially be aware that it can take time to find meds that help and they doesn't magically fix things on their own, but sometimes at least speaking to a doctor about trying medication is a really important start and discouragement again does not help. this comment comes across as kind of negative and insensitive for someone who definitely does not need that right now
Zylork: I mean yeah, you are right. I probably was lashing out a bit, but honestly how people talk about ADHD in the early/first diagnosed stages is really infuriating for me personally. I didn’t have any support structure and had to seek help on my own because I was neglected and abused myself, I get it, but I’m frustrated by people acting like ADHD is the end of the world when in my opinion it’s really one of the most manageable mental illnesses you could have if handled in appropriate ways, on or off meds, and in HS the likelihood of selling/abusing pills goes way up imo
poisonheml0ck: yeah it can be manageable, for me personally ive managed to get to a point (while having no medical help at all) where i can manage day to day life decently well. but not everyone knows how yet and for some people its hard to learn. and i remember how that felt. it felt impossible sometimes. don't judge how people are effected by something just because its different than how you're effected by it
Zylork: I respect your views and input, honestly I’ve been working on my judgemental side but it’s an uphill battle. My original comment was definitely harsh and not the best way to healthily articulate my views. But I’m glad that at the very least we’re having a real discussion about these illnesses and the experiences of them
poisonheml0ck: i do appreciate the acknowledgement and willingness to have a discussion, and i totally get things like that being an uphill battle. i feel like it's easy to forget that everyone is effected by things differently and to not compare yourself with others. i've been through my fair share of that for sure. no hard feelings at all and i wish you luck dealing with stuff like that
Zylork: You too individual! Best of luck to yourself and loved ones. I’m grateful for the non-toxic correction, truly. Helped me understand I was fucking up a bit! 😂
| 8 | 22.875 | |
1652554621 | 1652678382 | t3_upnuge | t5_2to41 | 2 | iammentallyunstable3: TIFU by becoming the creepy incel ex and making my ex-gf scared of me
tl;dr - one sided relation ship where i was putting in too much effort, i tried to say we had different feelings, gf said we dont and it was hurtful for me to say that, she knew she wanted to breakup one week after that, got broken up with, creeped my ex out to the point where I think she is legitimately scared of me.
I guess I'll give some backstory for what happened. This is not super necessary and kinda long. there is a shit tldr at the end
Before this recent semester started I matched with a girl(they are non-binary and I do not want to invalidate their identity but they present as a girl so I used that for context) on tinder who I though was really pretty. They were into art, video games, anime, manga/web novels, etc. I share a lot of these interests so it was really nice to be able to talk to someone else about all of those things, usually my friends are only interested in a few. The first day of class went by and we realized that we were in the same class, what are the odds right? As I write this now I wonder how things would've been if we weren't. I probably wouldn't be in this position and feel shit- not for being broken up with (obviously it sucks but what can you do, I can't make them like me).
On the second day of class we didn't sit next to each other but we texted a little. After class we talked and I was a nervous wreck.
(I have never been diagnosed with anxiety but sometimes it gets to the point where I am physically short of breath and shaking. I'm not sure if it is just some heightened nervousness but it is compounded by what I believe is some diagnosed autism. Sorry for writing so much about myself this isn't the point but I thought it would be some good context.)
We talked a little bit and then went our separate ways.
Over the next month or so we'd sit next to each other in class, grab dinner/lunch some times, text, etc. Normal talking stage stuff I think. Valentines day came around and I didn't really know what to do. Obviously this person doesn't find me utterly repulsive (yet) and while I have always been bad with people I am not utterly blind to some signs. I don't remember if I said anything most of valentines day but at some point they texted me and asked to get dinner. I said I'd love to and was really happy, someone I liked asked to get dinner on Valentine's day! It was never explicitly called a date before hand. We ate, whatever blah blah blah (It was actually really great, I even kept the receipt until yesterday when things ended because when I looked at it, it was a good memory, it just hurts now. Afterwards I was dropping her off at her place. She was about to get out and then asked "Was this a date?" I kinda hesitated because I was nervous but managed to get out a "yeah" or "yes" or something. They asked "What about the others?". I said yes again. Then they told me to close my eyes and gave me a kiss on the cheek and got out. I was on cloud9! I have been emotionally alone most of my life (I am writing about my breakup on reddit hahaha), at least the past 11ish years (I am almost 20), so it was an amazing feeling to know that someone was interested in me not just to the point of being friends but also. I realize this is a problem because I think I (and men in general) base their value as a person on how much women like them too much.
A day or two later they referred to our 'relationship' in some context. It wasn't official but I wanted to date her so I didn't say anything. Two days after valentines day they said something about our relationship that I can't remember (and it would hurt too much to go through the texts to find it) but I said lets make it official from today. Yay! I had a girlfriend!
Time went on and honestly a lot of it is a blur. Obviously we had class, got food, hung out, progressed through sexual stuff, etc- normal dating stuff.
 
During this time there were a lot of times where things felt very one sided. I am just going to rattle some examples. These are not in chronological order, they have all blurred together in my mind, it is probably better like that and hopefully will make it easier to come to terms with.
We were both interested in web novels and were both weekly reading a certain one. We talked about it once or twice and it was nice to be able to talk to someone about one of the few things I enjoy. The first week a new chapter came out so I asked if she'd read it and then we'd talk about it a little. Then again next week. During these conversations I got the impression they weren't that interested in discussing it (maybe with me, maybe just in general?) because the conversation became dry and they weren't putting in an effort. No big deal, I didn't bring up the new chapter next week and of course that was the last time we talked about that. I'm not sure if this was the first sign of things being one sided in the relationship but I felt like it was pretty insignificant, its just some web comic, so I moved on and ignored it.
She was really into art and writing as well. She had been drawing for i don't know how long but she told me about art classes in high school and stuff like that. I think people who can draw well are really impressive and i wanted to know more and see her art. She only ever showed me one piece, and then weeks later let me look through one of her high school sketch books. I really wanted to know more about her art and see more but she didn't want to share. While it made me a little sad it made sense, her art could've been really personal or there could be any reason, it doesn't really matter, it is her decision. It was basically the same stuff with their writing. This was basically my experience trying to get to know anything about her. She would give me a little bit but I wanted more. It was totally fair of her to not want to share more so I stopped prying. I want to add that she was never interested in anything I did. She would never ask what I was passionate about or what I enjoyed. It felt super one sided and it hurt a lot but I got used to it.
One specific event that really hurt me was the weekend before spring break. During our relationship I was almost ALWAYS the one to initiate any kind of time together (outside of class obviously). I'd ask her to hang out, watch a movie or a show, go ice skating, cook together, idk fun couple stuff that I thought would be enjoyable. She was never really interested and almost always shut me down. It got to a point where I felt really weird. I was dating someone but it felt like they never wanted to spend time with me (I will elaborate more later). The weekend before spring break was I think the first major time I really got upset about it. I hadn't seen her outside of class for probably two weeks (Class was twice a week for an hour and a half and wasn't us doing anything other than taking notes and occasionally talking). I asked her friday if she wanted to hang out after her day was over and she said no, also i'm on my period and probably won't want to do anything all weekend. I was upset obviously but I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like so I said something like ok i hope you feel better blah blah let me know if you want to do anything. Later that night we got dinner at some on campus spot and I was still a little upset. She went home and I went home after eating. We were texting a little and she said something along the lines of "my friends just asked me to go clubbing but i can't make the bus in time and wouldn't even know what to wear". I read that and then kind of just sat there for a little. She just told me she didn't want to do anything all weekend, and then 8 hours later she is telling me about how the only thing stopping her from going clubbing with her friends is a bus route. It hurt a lot. It wasn't that she didn't want to do anything, she didn't want to do anything with me. I just kinda wondered why and couldn't really come to a conclusion. When we were together it felt fine (probably just for me i guess) but she just didn't want to be around me that much. I got pretty moody over the next week (the week before we left for spring break) so I was dry in texting and did not make an effort to text her so we didn't text much. I would like to add that I initiated the conversations a lot (~80%) of the time, which is another sign of how one sided things were that I should've done something about earlier. It is not that I didn't notice, I just didn't want to believe it. Anyways back to the week where I was moody, at some point during the week I brought it up and we talked about it. I said it hurt me and I wish she just was honest and said she didn't want to hang out with me. She kinda avoided what I brought up and then said she wanted to see me one time before we left for spring break. I didn't really want to and almost wanted to end things there but she insisted so I agreed. I went to their place and we watched like 3 or 4 episodes of an anime, in silence, sitting apart from each other on her bed, no physical contact, very awkwardly. It hurt so bad. All I wanted her to do was say sorry and give me a hug. I left hurriedly and went to get my bike, the last thing I needed to pack before leaving. When I left I started crying which is usually out of character for me. I went to the top of the parking garage and just sat with my thoughts for a minute. I am not suicidal but I have thought about killing myself a lot. I could never go through with it, I know what it feels like to have someone close to you kill themselves and even though I am not super close with my family or friends, I could never do that to them. That night I really thought about it from the top of the parking garage. It wasn't super high (I looked it up and about half of the people survive from the height I was) but I wasn't going to do it anyways. I just sat up there and cried for a while. I packed my bike and drove home and cried for the 2 hour drive. I don't know what happened to where I was so attached to this person that them no longer wanting me was enough to put those fucked up thoughts in my head. The next morning I still felt horrible so I apologized for being moody and not being honest. I really wished she was going to apologize as well but she never did. This was another major point where I think I should have ended things.
Things kept going as usual when we returned from spring break. Not spending that much time together, class, etc. One day after she said she was too busy to hang out after class, I texted her a little bit later and said something along the lines of do we spend enough time together. I think she just said what she knew I wanted to hear which was no probably not. I knew that she was just saying what I wanted to hear but I looked past it. I brought up that I wasn't happy but that wasn't enough (she probably already knew), I should have said that things need to change.
Something similar happened where I was upset with how our relationship felt and I said something like "It doesn't feel like we are really dating". Which was true. I didn't feel like she was my girlfriend after dating for 2 months. She reassured me and talked about spending more time together. Things didn't really change.
The third and final time I brought something up I asked if we could talk. I said "I dont know if we have the same feelings for eachother". I think that sentence sums up how most of the relationship felt. I was trying a lot and really liked her, she wasn't trying that much and to this day I don't know if she really ever liked me. I think I was just a boyfriend she thought wasn't totally crazy(yet) and we had mutual interests (Realistically I think they got bored of me, but what are you gonna do). She said it was really hurtful that I said that and I apologized for saying it but said thats how I really feel. She told me that she had depression and anxiety and in the past told me about fucked up shit her mom says to her. She said it was sometimes really draining to spend time with people and I totally understood, I know exactly what she meant. It did hurt a lot because usually when you really like someone its not that draining to be with them. If you really like someone you will ask them to hangout, want to do things with them, etc, she never really wanted to. I brought up the saying "If you really want to, you would". She was angry and said "is that really what you think of me? do you think im so kind of fucking go getter?". I know its not as simple as if you want to you will, but in my eyes not making any effort over months just invalidates what she said. She didn't want me enough which was fine. I knew she was really into league of legends and kpop and I just thought, if something came along where she could meet some famous person she is a fan of she would do it. I don't think it would matter what got in her way, I think she would do it. I just wasn't important enough.
That 3 weeks ago. She told me yesterday that she knew she wanted to break up two weeks ago. I asked what happened in that week but I never really got an answer. I really wish either of us had ended things right there.
Tuesday was the last day before they left to go home over the summer. We had not talked about how the summer was going to be which was also something weighing on my mind. She already knew that she was going to end things. I spent the night at her place the friday before and nothing seemed different. Finals are stressful, I asked her to hang out or get dinner monday, she said no and gave an excuse. I asked her if she wanted to study for our final on tuesday, she said no. I asked her if she wanted to hangout on tuesday after the final and she said no. Clearly things were over and I was just being a clingy annoying that she didn't want to end things with but I held out hope because of what she had said before.
She posted something about leaving town on her instagram and i sent a sad face. She said I miss you and sent some heart emojis and that made me happy. That was 3 days before I got broken up with. 2 weeks after she already knew she wanted to break up with me. Every other time she said I miss you I don't think she was telling the truth. I don't think she was really trying to manipulate me but she was. I was on a rope for a long time. I don't think she ever even complimented me during the whole relationship. I'm writing this sitting here, trying my hardest to think of something nice she said to/about me, but I am drawing a blank. I remember the single other (meaningful) compliment I received, I am confident I would remember something nice she said but I don't think she ever did.
End of backstory
tl;dr for backstory. one sided relationship, i brought it up a few times, tried to say we had different feelings, gf said we dont and it was hurtful for me to say that, she knew she wanted to breakup one week after that
 
The breakup
She texted me yesterday morning saying "hey are you up", "can we talk". I knew what was coming but there wasn't really anything I could do so I just said yeah give me a sec and left the room where my roommate was asleep. She said she wanted to breakup, I asked why, blah blah blah. I said ok and hung up. She asked if we could still be friends :/. I asked her a lot of the stuff I mentioned above like why, when she knew, etc, it doesn't really matter.
I will get into it later but I looked on her twitter that she didn't know i knew about and she tweeted "single again thank god" which really hurt. I responded to the "i just hope we can stay friends" with "not to inflate your ego but I am too obsessed with you". Kinda weird but it was my way of saying I like you too much to do that to myself. She posted that on twitter which also hurt. I brought up how the whole time we felt like just friends and I was getting led on and she kinda half responded and never apologized. she said "wish you the best [my name]" and I responded "ill kepp that with the other facades of statements youve made", "hope things turn out well for you too". I know it was really cringe but i didn't want to say "everything you've thats nice has felt like a lie. ive been led on for months and every time you've said i miss you it feels like a fucking empty statement. it hurts so bad and i just wish things couldve ended sooner." She posted that on her instagram story and then tweeted "i think you guys are right when you say i dodged a bullet". I read that one too and kinda sat there. Like yeah it was cringe but am I really a bullet? did you really dodge me? fuck man that hurt so bad. Obviously the breakup sucked but being called a bullet that was dodged made me physically ill and i threw up.
I was over it and I wouldn't want to see her again. I knew that she didn't know I had her twitter
Quick twitter lore break : she sent me a tweet early in the relationship, i asked what her twitter was, but she was adamant about me not having it. I found it and looked through it even though I knew I shouldn't have. She didn't share that much about herself but I wanted to know more. I learned a lot of interesting things about them that I would have never thought. She writes fanfiction and is a furry among other things, those are two categories I would have immediately wrote off but I really liked her and wanted to learn more. Obviously I could never bring this up to her so I just kinda sat on this information.
I brought up being a bullet she dodged and she said "now youre looking at my page". yep. i was. i had been for not the whole relationship but a while. it was fucked up but i didn't think it was the biggest deal in the world. we said some more things and she wrote probably the worst thing i've ever read about myself. "really thought you were a great guy until you revealed you stalked my twitter i never gave you. now you just scare me"
fuck man fuck fuck fuck. I scare you? fuck. I didnt even know what to say. She was right, I invaded her privacy and crossed a line i shouldnt have which i regret. I tried to apologize but I don't think she wanted to hear it, probably didn't believe it, or didnt care, rightfully so. This hurt much more than the breakup itself because I knew that was coming. I don't want to be the creepy incel ex but it is too late.
She said "let's not talk again" and i tried to say sorry again (not to get her to take me back or forgive me, just so she wasn't scared of me) and then said bye.
I sat on my thoughts for a few hours and when I was about to leave to come home I sat in my car and wrote a long apology out. I didn't want her to take me back or hear me out but I didn't want her to be scared, especially of me. That is the last thing I would ever want but I fucked that up. I tried to text her but she blocked my number rightfully so. On instagram every time i opened it i could she she was active and did not block me there and I really wanted to send an actual apology. Below I will put the apology. I think dm'ing her on instagram probably just further cemented my place as creepy ex but I think i needed to send it anyways.
hey [name] sorry for texting you again i’m sure you don’t want to hear it at all but i am leaving [town] and i’m sending this as some kind of closure for myself. Sorry if that’s selfish. I don’t know if you believe me but i am sorry for looking at your twitter. I didn’t realize but i was probably invading one of your escapes from life by blurring that line which is fucked up. It wasn’t my intention but that doesn’t matter and I am sorry for doing that and making you feel that way. I’m not going to lie and say the stuff i said earlier isnt what I really think but it is really weird and cringe, I should have kept it to myself or worded myself better, i think it is really easy to see that when you aren’t emotionally invested in the topic. I enjoyed a lot of our time together and i hope you figure out whatever it is you’re going through. i really do wish you the best. things ended so fucked because of me and i am genuinely sorry. hope things go well for you. bye
After sending that I asked her to block me there too. Seeing her face and thinking about what I was putting her through hurt me too much. I feel like fucking frankenstein man. I just wanted things to turn out nicely and I should have shut my mouth.
That was the end of it and while obviously the breakup sucked, it felt like we were friends most of the time so it is not that hard to adjust. Obviously it doesn't feel great but it pales in comparison to what I think I have and am actively putting her through. The last thing i want to do is make anyone feel scared, especially someone I care so much about. Its not the breakup that is hurting its the regret of making her feel scared. I realize men can be scary and i think i truly came off as a creepy incel fuck. I don't think thats who I am but thats probably not my place to say and i guess my actions tell differently.
I really want to send her something on her twitter she privated just saying im sorry and you dont need to be scared i am going to fuck off forever please forget me. I think that would have the opposite effect of what I want though. I really really want to say sorry but I think she wouldnt want to hear it and that would just make things worse and make me seem ever creepier. It hurts but the best thing i can do is not apologize and just hope she feels more comfortable over time.
(I realized i misgendered them a lot throughout this story which is messed up but I think it still makes sense and the people who read it don't know who im talking about)
If you took time out of your day to read this thank you.
I am wrote this here because I don't have anyone in my life to tell it too. If you took the time to read it all please tell me your honest thoughts on the situation. I don't want empty words to make me feel better, i can figure that out on my own over time, I just want to know an outside perspective. Obviously, it is my recollection of events so it is probably biased in some way but I tried really hard to make sure this is as object of a recount of things as there could be. Was my apology good? I don't want her to forgive me I want her to feel safe. I think the best way to do that now is fuck off so that is what i am going to do. Sorry if there is a lot of rambling and typos. I am a horrible writer and this is the longest thing I have ever written. Thanks
twitchfanpoggers: Im in a similar situation: i have an online gf but it doesn't feel like we're dating and she never messages me first, but then claims she still likes me; i kinda wanna break it off because like she literally shows no sign of love or anything but i dont want to hurt her if she still likes me? Idk help
random9guy3: https://youtu.be/vhcIGzkSg-Y
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1652557780 | 1652710701 | t3_upowyz | t5_2to41 | 53,405 | Fast_Commission_6652: TIFU by asking my wife why she never wears lingerie for me
Quick Background: Married couple, multiple kids, sex life has declined rapidly and exponentially since having kids. At this point its down to a few times a year / once a month AT BEST. When we first dated it was 1-2 times a day. In the past I have brought the lack of sex up to my wife on 2 separate occasions. After the first time we started going into couples counseling (she had some trauma and I made some mistakes to make things worse); the second time she basically told me I need to be more affectionate towards her, kiss her when I leave the house, say I love you. Which we both started doing again.
Fast forward to today.
My wife has a lot of sexy lingerie in her closet. She has worn maybe 1 or 2 of them for me and that was many many years ago. I had been gradually getting more and more upset over the lack of sex, even though otherwise we were getting along very well. We had had rough patches before and this was NOT one of them - kisses before we leave the house, communicating to each other, even laughing together, and we had had a recent short weekend vacation which is very rare for us. The vacation went great. Once we got home it was back to the usual lack of sex though. Its not easy with multiple kids as you parents know, and at the end of the day we are both usually exhausted. Still, I get sick of using my hand. And we used to do it all the time. The lingerie wasn't even the point of my conversation to her, but it was a way to get to the lack of sex. And it DID bother to me to some extent - I was her husband after all, the suspicious/insecure side of me was wondering who else was getting to see her wear this if not me? So I finally get the courage to say to my wife "Can I ask you something?" "Yeah." "Why don't you wear the lingerie in your closet for me?" "What lingerie?" "Any of the ones in your closet?" "I don't know." "It just seems strange that your husband doesn't get to see you wear it." "I bought some of that years ago I don't even know what is in there. Some of it was given to me at my bridesmaid party" "Well have you worn it for other people?" "I don't know." "It just bothers me that I am your husband and I don't get to see you wear it."
After a couple minutes of this she breaks down and starts screaming hysterically at me "ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! I HAVE TO BE HAPPY WITH MY BODY! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY BODY!" (she grabs her belly as if she to show me the weight she has gained since the kids). She goes on to say something about how I always bring this up (I guess referring to the sex thing) and I say "yes because you never do!"
Now, she has gained a bit of weight since having kids just as any woman would, maybe a bit more than most women, but it never bothered me for a second and I never said anything about it to her. I had no idea she was this upset about her body. It does check out as I had brought the lingerie up to her previously and she just said "I can't wear that it doesn't fit me anymore" and I stopped that time because we were about to have sex, who cares about the lingerie at that point.
Now she is pissed at me and will barely so much as speak to me unless we are with the kids. She turned her body away from me in bed rather than cuddle like we usually do at night.
TLDR Asked my wife to wear lingerie because I wanted to have sex more and see her in lingerie; triggered her being extremely unhappy with her body post kids and now she is pissed at me for asking
bcardea: I suggest you start to date your wife again.
Starr1005: Can you share some ideas?
bcardea: Absolutely. Write love notes, speak on the things that made you love your partner originally. This is small but significant for you and your partner. I do it daily but you should do it in whatever way works for you.
Take your partner out. Hire a sitter, make reservations, plan an experience and then connect with your partner throughout. No talking about the kids or work or household stuff, just connecting as two humans who want to be closer to each other.
Occasionally stop and grab a thoughtful gift or gesture on the way home from work or wherever you may be. No strings attached, just a “you were on my mind” gift.
The key really is to just get back to those beginning days where all you wanted to do was hang out with this person, pick their brain and get closer to them. Do that again, however you can, whenever you can and as sincere as you can.
It’ll be great for both of you.
Tonycivic: Also note, dont do it for the sex, do it because you love her!
affablysurreal: For real. It's devastating to be happy and feel like you're finally connecting/feeling that spark again, but then feel like you're obligated to have sex or they'll get sulky.
stebuu: I’ll just say for some of us, sex acts with your partner are a sign of love and it’s draining to be told daily through actions (or more accurately lack thereof) that your spouse no longer really loves you.
Tyvurtil: Physical intimacy is absolutely an incredibly important part of relationships for most people, but making your partner feel guilty or obligated to have sex will only achieve the opposite effect. It might suck feeling like you're not attractive to your partner anymore, but sometimes they need time or reassurance. Ultimately sex should be something both parties really want.
Besides, there are other forms of physical intimacy that isn't necessarily sexual - like cuddling, which the OP mentioned. As with all things in relationships, communication communication communication!
Raise-The-Gates: Exactly. If you want to talk about things that make you feel unattractive, nothing tanks your self-esteem more than realising your partner was just after sex rather than connecting with you as a person.
OneWordIsAllIllSay: At the point this person's relationship is at, it's not about just sex. He wants to feel desired by his wife.
The sad fact is that sexual relationships die. People become more like best friends (and maybe not even that) who share kids and live together.
SaltyFresh: Stop projecting. OP didn’t say that at all. He said he was tired of using his hand :/ it doesn’t sound at all like he feels unwanted, it sounds like he wants to fuck.
OneWordIsAllIllSay: Read between the lines.
SaltyFresh: I did. You’re projecting.
OneWordIsAllIllSay: I'm asexual and non-binary but sure, I'm projecting.
SaltyFresh: Yeah, being asexual and non binary doesn’t insulate you from being a jealous asshole.
| 15 | 3,560.333333 | |
1652557990 | 1652602989 | t3_upozje | t5_2to41 | 2,651 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a massive, veiny dildo and a bidet in the mail
[deleted]
Povahz: This didn’t happen
Im_on_my_phone_OK: I tend to give most stories here the benefit of the doubt, because I’ve seen some pretty unbelievable shit happen in my day. But I’m with you on this. Especially the part about it being suction cupped to the floor so hard he couldn’t remove it… nah.
yetipilot69: Nah dude, that totally realistic. Those big dildos you can just drop on the floor and will stick super hard. If you’re flustered/embarrassed and trying to just PULL instead of breaking the suction… practically impossible to just pick up.
PhoenixEgg88: But then you’re assuming that 10” of silicon is going to fall horizontally, then magically rotate 90 degrees to suction to a floor. Now I’m not sure if the weight distribution of silicon dongs, but I doubt they’re that bottom heavy given the 3-4 feet of time for rotation.
Physics alone makes this one implausible.
thestrodeman: If it had balls, those could make it more bottom heavy? Like a bottle flip.
PhoenixEgg88: See my other comment, but just tried this with something with far less even weight distribution at a higher start point. Horizontal fall. You don’t get enough rotation out of an object in that short amount of time.
| 7 | 378.714286 | |
1652559218 | 1652563574 | t3_uppeox | t5_2to41 | 108 | visit_magrathea: TIFU by telling the MRI tech about my job
This happened today! A little backstory: I work as a Music Director for musical theatre. That means I play piano and conduct the orchestra for musicals. I’m currently on medical leave from working on a cruise ship because I dislocated and fractured my shoulder onboard in a separate fuck up that isn’t much of a story, so I’ll just say that there was a bear loose on the ship.
Anyway, flash forward to today. I had an MRI for my shoulder this afternoon. The tech is talking to me as she sets up the machine, asking me about what I do. I mention my job and we chat about that for a bit. Mostly about what her favorite broadway shows are, etc. This was my mistake. I guess this chat was her way of figuring out which music I‘d like to listen to while stuck in the machine for 45 minutes. That’s how I got locked in a tube with the Fiddler on the Roof movie soundtrack album blasting in my headphones.
Now, could I have squeezed the emergency ball and asked for different music? Sure, but social anxiety said no! Be polite! Endure the surprisingly long and painful scan with nothing but “Sunrise, Sunset” to distract you!
TL;DR: got an MRI scan, told the tech about my job and she chose unfortunate music for the procedure.
Biden-is-canadian: “Isn’t much of a story”
“There was a bear loose on the ship”
These two statements don’t go together, a bear loose on a cruise ship can’t possibly not be much of a story. Especially when there are injuries to speak of.
visit_magrathea: This was a joke. The story of my injury is actually uninteresting, but you can believe the more interesting one if you want. The beast killed forty people at the buffet before I stepped in to fell the creature. With nothing more than my conducting baton and an LP of the Original Cast Recording of Mame, I stood down the enormous grizzly. He charged, crashing us both through a window onto the lido deck 30 feet below. My right shoulder was ruined. I was pinned beneath the monster, its frothing maw but inches from my face. With all my might I used my still-working left arm to ram the jagged edge of the broken Mame recording through its gargantuan skull. Hot blood poured on my face as he slumped on top of me. The bear was bested. The ship was saved.
brushpickerjoe: I was waiting for the part where you fell 30 feet off hell in a cell thru an announcers table
visit_magrathea: IT’S BERNIE SANDERS WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
| 5 | 21.6 | |
1652560920 | 1652567154 | t3_uppy8h | t5_2to41 | 40 | K_L_M89: TIFU by potentially killing my rescue cat 😭
TL;DR Get cat, lost cat, feel like an awful person
So this is my first post, took me a couple of tries as I didn't know what rules I was meant to be following. Forgive all the usual things and thanks, I just needed to tell someone.
So I rescued a cat a few days ago. He had been living in the flower beds of my old home after being kicked out by his family a year ago. He was being fed by most of the street so not starving but still he needed a loving home. Which I decided would be me and my flat... he would be spoiled from now on.
So after a bit of cat rangling and much guilt of taking him away from what he knows he was in my flat. Obviously scared but still affectionate, he hadn't quite settled in yet but I hoped it wouldn't take too long and he was coming out of his hiding spaces more and more. His favourite spot when not hiding behind the sofa was the window ledge, watching the world. After a year of roaming wherever he wanted he was now trapped in a flat. Even with the best of intentions I felt so so guilty, every time he meowed I felt like I was keeping him hostage. So I had an idea, I'll be the crazy cat lady who takes the cat for a walk on a harness and lead teaching him about what's safe. At least until he learns the roads are busier here than what he is used to and to be careful, then he can be let out alone.
So the harness and lead arrived today, I get it on him after a bit of fuss and he doesn't seem to mind it until I attached the lead and try to move. He kind of reacts like when you put booties on a dog, everything malfunctions and he just lies down. A few loves and pets later he seems to get the hang of it and we go downstairs and go outside. All is fine for a few minutes then he wraps the lead around a small tree and freaks out. He manages to wriggle out of the harness. God knows how because I made sure it was snug. He set off running down the road. I catch up a couple of times and almost have him back. But he's clearly scared and doesn't trust me now so he bolts into someone's back garden.
Its been 2 hours of me knocking on doors and searching back gardens and I can't find him. I'm in the process of making missing cat flyers whilst crying into a glass of wine. All I wanted to do is give him a good home but now he is scared and alone in a place he doesn't know next to main roads where he could get killed. Right now he was better off in the flower beds 😭😭😭
yikesonbikes2: He simply said ”no thank u.” I’m sure he’ll be back around soon! Cats are really smart and if you showed him the area a little he’ll be able to find his way back to you ….if he wants to
Inuyasha-rules: Our outdoor rescue is a darter. Open the door and she bolts, which I don't like because we're on a busy road at a highway connection (not sure how to say that in British) but she always comes back. She knew our new house after we moved so don't worry too much.
| 3 | 13.333333 | |
1652562848 | 1652568685 | t3_upqkb7 | t5_2to41 | 122 | Caribubilus: TIFU by reading messages on my dad's used phone
Obligatory this happened eleven years ago.
Also I'm a certified English teacher and on a laptop, so any mistakes should be brought up to shame me.
I had a very basic phone, and my dad had just bought another one for him, so I asked for his old one. Mind you, that was a shitty chinese phone, no brand at all, made to resemble a Blackberry. My dad said it was trash, but I figured I'd give it a try anyways.
He gave it to me, and I put in my chip and proceeded to try to set it up. When browsing in it a little, I found out that some old text messages were still there, and decided to read them (of f- course). At the time he was dating his now wife. She had messaged him stuff like "hey, miss you" and "when you come tomorrow bring wine" or normal couple stuff like that.
But alas, this doesn't make a Reddit post. One specific message there makes it. I cannot remember the exact words, but it was close to "I loved feeling you tremble as you came in me last night. Can't wait to feel it again".
I didn't know what to do. I just deleted all messages and hoped to forget it ever since. Never could, so I decided to post it for your entertainment.
TL;DR got a used phone from my dad which had explicit messages from his then girlfriend
Fickle_Sandwich_7075: Are they still married?
Caribubilus: Yep. I believe they married 9 years ago, almost 10
I_am_INTJ: Then, logic would suggest he's still trembling.
He might even be trembling right now.
Caribubilus: Why you do that to me
pressabba: That's what she said
| 6 | 20.333333 | |
1652563381 | 1652563648 | t3_upqqch | t5_2to41 | 32 | AaronWilsonMusic: TIFU by clicking pause during bride & groom's entry.
Me and my sister are singing at a cocktail party before the dinner. The bride and groom were arriving back from getting photos taken and joining the cocktail party, requesting Queen - Don't Stop Me Now as they entered and joined the guests after their photoshoot. The song was playing off an iPad sat down on a table next to me and about 40 seconds into the entry I went to pick up my phone to take a video and ever so slightly brushed my hand against the iPad, stopping the music dead. It was like musical statues with a big "huh!?".
I stood there and everyone 360'd in my direction, their eyes were like hot lazers burning millions of holes in me as my soul left my body. I swiftly hit play again, starting the song from the start again, and wished the world would have swallowed me up.
TL;DR : We sang more songs after the entry song, had everyone dancing and applauding. Everyone loved us regardless and laughed it off! No bad reviews!
RED_wards: I'm a professional sound guy and once accidentally played a song about weed after a conservative vice presidential candidate's speech. Whoops!
AaronWilsonMusic: "Colt 45, two zig zags.."
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1652566430 | 1652574119 | t3_upropj | t5_2to41 | 42 | LovableButterfly: TIFU : by going out with my husband and taking several days off which has lead us to unhappiness
I’m re-questioning myself if this was ever a good idea to begin with and now I’m questioning why I ever did this.
I took 4 days off for the weekend. Wanted to do this after getting my A.A.S and just needing a break from work.
We did have fun the first day up until the end when husband was spazzing at me about the dog, life and choices I’ve made in the past regarding getting a degree etc. i cried the previous night. I know I was suppose to spend time with my younger brother as we made plans for the next day. At first husband didn’t want to go but then decided he wanted to.
We get there and met my brother. Brother and I decided on blackjack and had a blast. I was hoping husband would join in for blackjack but decided not to. He circled around 3 times without me realizing it making small talk to me not getting a hint he wanted to go. We were only there for 3 hours and I was ahead over $100 and brother over $300. Husband decided to withdraw another $100 (spending $200) and lost it all. Came back to find me saying he wanted to go and I said after 2 more hands. He decided to wait outside after I withdrew and got my cash (still up ahead by $165). We got in the car and he begins sulking and goes silent and blames me for not going sooner. I apologized and decided to just go home instead of doing what I wanted to do for the rest of the day.
We have been barley talking since. Brother informed me he stay back and had friends come to play with him as they were going to meet up with him later. They have been having a blast which I’m glad about but now I question everything and still have one more day to spend time together with (which I have decided to cancel the rest of the plans for the weekend). I plan to never do this again and even question if husband should come to a family function coming up in a few weeks.
Tl:dr chaotic weekend with husband’s moods about my life choices and going out with brother that ended up with us barley talking. Blamed me for not catching a cue about leaving and were barley talking. Decided on canceling tests of plans and never doing this again with him. Also questioning on having him come to a family function in a couple weeks.
callabondulence: He was indirect and tried to have you get hints he was putting out there instead of just asking you to go. This sounds like a relationship where you’re blamed for him screwing stuff up and emotionally manipulating you tbh. I’d talk to each other and ask him why he didn’t ask you sooner when he just hinted. Counseling for sure though.
LovableButterfly: Funny enough I did ask him why he didn’t tell me. He said he circled 3 times to get a hint….. I’m autistic so some non-verbal cues are hard for me to understand. It was the 4th time he told me he was going to wait in the car/outside. He thought I would take a hint after the second time…. I thought he knew my non-verbals cue lack….. but yes it was very indirect for me sadly and I missed it.
Known-Salamander9111: he’s mad that you didn’t understand the message he didn’t say. That’s… i mean… how much punishment do you deserve for NOT being a psychic?
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1652570643 | 1652570786 | t3_upsz54 | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying ecstasy and burning my throat
[removed]
SlamCakeMasta: Bleach? You put it in Bleach? Then drank bleach?
Active_Skin_1245: Yeah uh I think I know what their problem was right?
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1652574018 | 1652575795 | t3_uptzxb | t5_2to41 | 18 | conner_1108: Tifu by getting in the car with my girlfriend
For context, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and are very in love. A few months back, before spring break, I was caught at school with a THC pen. I was suspended and it was determined that my mental health was to blame for the choice and as a result I was not forced into a rehab program but I decided to go to one anyways to deal with a prescription drug problem.
Anyways, my girlfriend invited me over tonight to go to the mall with her cousins and I (of course) said yes. I got there and we all chatted for a bit before we left. As we got in the car, her older cousin took out a nicotine vape and started puffing furiously with all of us in the car. (Windows up). As we got on the highway, the smell of ganja filled the car and her cousin who was driving said, “does anyone have weed”. I told him I didn’t have any and he said okay. He then stopped at a gas station and went inside. This is when it all went to hell.
Her mom immediately called her and started talking fast in Spanish. My gf was trying to console her and and her what happened but it was no use. We turned around and started heading back to her house and as we pulled into the driveway, her mom was standing outside next to her dad. We got out and her cousin stayed next to the car. Her mom walks up to me and in broken English says “what happened in the car”. I repeated the question back to her and she asked again. My girlfriends cousin said “dude I don’t know if it was CBD or THC but I know what a Vape pen smells like”. After hearing this I immediately stripped off my jacket and emptied my pockets to everybody’s surprise.
I explained that I had no weed on me. Her mom said she believed me and her dad said nothing to me at all. her cousin however was starting to raise his voice at me accusing me of having a pen and putting my girlfriend in danger. I asked them if they were sure that it wasn’t her other cousin who was also in the car with us. At this point my girlfriend started sobbing uncontrollably and I to do my best to console her. I didn’t think it could get any worse but then it did.
Me and her moved to the backyard so that we could be alone to talk. Her mom came outside and started talking with her in Spanish and when she left my girlfriend told me that her mother knew about my suspension and I was gonna have to leave. We both reassured each other that we weren’t breaking up and that we do anything to see each other. I asked her to go tell her father to come outside as I wanted to talk to him. When he came outside I told him everything that it happened me being in a drug rehab program me being sober for three months and most importantly that I loved his daughter.
My girlfriend is still sobbing beyond control and I could find no way to help her. Her father agreed that it was a very stupid decision for me to make and that I wouldn’t be able to see her until I completed the program (8 weeks of group therapy) as I was leaving her mother told me that she was just trying to protect her daughter and that when I was able to work on myself, that I would be allowed to see her again. This happened about an hour ago and I’m still unable to get into contact with my girlfriend. I told my parents what happened and they said that they would drug test me to prove that I didn’t have a pen on me. The drug test came back negative, and we texted her dad but I’ve had no response thus far. I will add updates if anything happens
tl;dr I got accused of having a vape pen and may have destroyed my relationship with my girlfriends family
Edit: paragraphs
Any_RAMEN: haha, you'll realize that at some point it doesnt matter if you smoke pot or whatever you gotta live your own life.
SteveO12315068: I second this. It's nobody's decision besides yours if you smoke weed my dude. If your girlfriend's parents are that toxic about it, and guaranteed they don't know shit about weed and probably call it a dangerous drug, then you might wanna just cut your losses.
Realistically no one can tell you how to live your life OR determine your girlfriend's love interests. Also, the super toxic overly protective parents thing gets really old quick, and even if you stay sober now, they'll always hold it against you. Anytime you make any mistakes, or upset your girlfriend, they'll say you must've rElApSeD and that's the problem.
Ultimately, it's up to you my friend but I would definitely move on, plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Maybe find someone who doesn't cling to their parents, and their parents to them, like a twisted up mass of Saran wrap. True happiness can only be achieved if you go your own way.
conner_1108: ‘Preche bro
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1652575293 | 1652579816 | t3_upuddk | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU found out that the threesome I had was with my mother and my daughter
[removed]
Plant_Wild: Totally relatable and believable.
jordydigsdirt: Totally
| 3 | 7 | |
1652576140 | 1652576308 | t3_upum46 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU: I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car
[deleted]
wafflelover17: You are a horrible person. That wasn’t an accident you “drove over it like a speed bump”. You are jealous of a rabbit . The animal was completely innocent. I hope you rot in hell.
ThatBoyBaz: WHOOOOOOSH
| 3 | 1 | |
1652578020 | 1652579408 | t3_upv5z5 | t5_2to41 | 102 | skyeking05: TIFU so I just bought an Aztec Death Whistle
[removed]
baillie521: Damn that thing has got to be so much fun
skyeking05: It's super creepy, especially once I figured out how to modulate so it sounded like a natural scream
baillie521: Ngl i wanna buy one as well now
skyeking05: Amazon it was like $10
PM_ur_Rump: Which one? There are several with mixed reviews.
I want one that really horrifies.
| 6 | 17 | |
1652580410 | 1652584569 | t3_upvut1 | t5_2to41 | 38 | Dr_stopit: Tifu by not realizing my grandparents had cameras
So, this happened like less than 6 hours ago and I’m still cringing. Let’s start off by saying my grandparents have been living in their house for as long as I can remember, probably since before I was born. Today they invited me and my brother over to swim and hang out. As we were getting ready to leave, since we were kind of in a rush, I grabbed my bathing suit and rushed out the door (this is important later). After we were hanging out and talking for a little while we decided to swim. Now my grandparent’s yard is shaped sort of like an L so there’s an area around the side of the yard that’s secluded from the rest of the yard (nobody can see you). Now sense I didn’t have my bathing suit on, and I didn’t feel like going inside to change, I do what I’ve always done in situations like this since I was little, and I discretely walk around the side of the house and change into my bathing suit. After I come back around, my brother notices I’ve changed and casually mentions: “you know they have cameras right?” Oh shit. In my mind I’m like: “well maybe they can’t see me from where I was standing…” but sure enough, a camera’s pointing directly where I was standing. So now my grandparents have a 4k video of a teenage boy buttass naked in their backyard. Not to mention I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember…😶
TL;DR: I changed into my bathing suit in my usual spot at my grandparents house (outside) and had been doing so for years prior, not realizing I had been being recorded by my grandparents security cameras
(Edited for spelling/grammatical errors)
Avidkeo: Meh bet your grandparents don't care at all.
Dr_stopit: Probably not, still embarrassing tho
AnalFanatics: Take it from a Granddad, at the very most your granddad may have jokingly told your grandma that…
“it looks like u/Dr_stopit has is growing up grandma, he certainly isn’t the “little boy” whose nappy we used to change all those years ago.”
And Grandma probably replied something along the lines of…
“Don’t be silly Granddad, you’re just jealous because you haven’t seen yours “in the flesh” since your tummy started hanging over your belt-buckle.” ;)
Don’t worry about it cobb, they love you in a special way that nobody else ever will and all they ever see when they look at you is YOU :)
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1652582606 | 1652584847 | t3_upwgwk | t5_2to41 | 10 | Professional_News_83: Tifu by going through my girlfriends phone
Idk why I did it she is asleep next to me I know she would never cheat I know who she is and I know what I’d find and what I wouldn’t find but I still did it, I still looked through it she trusts me and she’ll wake up and she will never know I might tell her and she will forgive me, I wish I could give the excuse of my crippling anxiety but just going through it have me a anxiety attack because I new it was wrong the worst of me came out a few mins ago as she sleeps peacefully I search for something ,Im glad I didn’t find anything but I feel like I may of wanted to find something so I didn’t feel like such a shit bf , but I am I know what I did was shitty I’ve been getting better after the mistakes she’s made I got past some of lies she’s told in the past (she’s never cheated but she has lied in the past ) I thought I was getting better but just seeing it sitting there I just grabbed it I knew what I was doing yet I still did it I wish I could’ve just stopped myself and new it was wrong. I feel like a horrible person she trust me and I bent that went pasta boundary even if I did find something I found it through the wrong means and that would make me worse .I have my own issue: V anxiety depression but I think this is a deep down me issue maybe I am just a bad guy . I don’t deserve all she does for me. Just needed to get this off my chest. Curiosity killed the cat.Tl:dr I went through he phone and I am a piece of shit
Bridazzles: Ummm, unpopular opinion here, but I think going through someone’s phone isn’t a big deal. If you’re in a committed relationship, especially where she’s lied in the past, she should be giving you access to that.
Autocorrec: Absolutely not. Privacy and consent are parts of a relationship - not sacrificed for one.
wolamute: If the terms of the relationship make it not a big deal, then it's not, but yes otherwise it's shitty.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1652585884 | 1652718820 | t3_upxe6i | t5_2to41 | 29 | WispyWi: TiFU by taking my antidepressant
So. I had a rough few years, got to a bad spot, and really hated myself. My doctor prescribed sertraline. it helped... A lot. Lowered my libido and gave a rad dreams, but it helped.
I'm still taking it today. One 50mg pull does me well, and I take it before sleepy time to give myself those rad dreams.
Today, my father and I washed the vehicles. It was fun, we treated ourselves to a cookout and Icecream with the rest of the family... It was nice
But I digress. It was hot af today and my dad and I would have fun by sneaking up behind each other and saying "Hydrate!" While giving them some water. We had fun with it, and it was good.
My dad has a cirkul and I would drink bottled water... I drank a lot of water. Like, no more bottles were left.
Can you guess where this is going?
So the time comes. I don't have a water bottle, but I'm not not going to take my meds and my dad's drink is in the other room. I'm tired, so I say fuck it, what's the worse that can happen If I use no water?
So that was three hours ago. I've thrown up four times, I feel like I drank battery acid, at one point i begged my dad to put a 20 gauge slug in my skull. I'm currently laying on the porcelain throne hoping life decides to take it a little easier on me tomorrow
Tldr: I dry swallowed sertraline and now my antidepressant has made me want to kill myself.
Update: following morning and I'm still alive and in tip top condition. I didn't throw up any more but I slept on the couch just in case. Somehow, the only lingering effect is being burpy.
bowlofjello: I dry swallow my Zoloft all the time so I guess I don’t really understand this feeling.
WispyWi: You have the body of a god or you cannot feel pain
bowlofjello: Idk I’ve dry swallowed all pills since I started taking ibuprofen so I’ve never had much issue or side effects from no water with anything.
Idk if that’s healthy or not now that I think about it…
LaComtesseGonflable: Not healthy. Ibuprofen can erode your esophagus.
bowlofjello: Luckily it’s coated and I don’t take ibuprofen much anymore since it’s not recommended with antidepressants
| 6 | 4.833333 | |
1652586214 | 1652621105 | t3_upxhd3 | t5_2to41 | 11,186 | lmans19: TIFU by telling a customer he was being ripped off and possibly getting the sales guy fired
TIFU by telling a customer he was getting ripped off and probably getting a sales guy fired.
TIFU by telling a customer he was getting ripped off. We’ll, this was actually last week. I am a subject matter expert (SME) for a robotics company. Our software which gives the robots the ability to do things and actually be useful is used in all size business from major car manufacturers to fast food restaurants.
So one of sales development managers, Tommy, sets up a 9:30am meeting. I thought that was odd because I’m in CT and he’s in CA so a 6:30 meeting his time is really really. Anyway, customer joins the call and we’re waiting for Tommy. I text him at 9:33 and call at 9:35- right to VM.
I’m talking with this customer and he mentions a $15,000 upgrade. I’m confused and ask him to clarify. He proceeds to tell me the software update the company needs to going to be $15,000 and he is having trouble justifying it to his management team. I’m still confused. The guy’s company has a contract and the upgrade is free. Its a bug fix. It’s even posted on the customer portal. So I wonder- is this a professional services fee? Couldn’t be. PS is about $3000 a day and this upgrade takes about 15 to 45 minutes.
I try to get more info and tell the customer he must be mistaken and point him to where he can download the update, step by step guides, and a video reviewing the process and I tell him he can call me or support if he has trouble.
Now the guy starts asking why he was quoted $15,000. I tell him it must be a mistake and he should get with Tommy to see if the proposal included anything else like additional software routines or didn’t take into account that everything was under contract.
Apparently Tommy had the time zone of the meeting wrong and didn’t see my text until after he took a call from the customer where he fed the customer BS about the update being a premium update not covered by the regular maintenance. Customer doesn’t buy it and complains via support.
Turns out Tommy is trying to get into Presidential Club and trying to increase his sales. He knew the customer’s business posted record profits so he marked up a project that should have been maybe $1000 to $15000. He apparently openly admitted this to his boss. He’s been suspended pending an investigation and will likely be fired. Needless to say, he is super upset with me. If he’s not fired, I don’t know how I’ll be able to work with him.
TLDR: told a customer the $15000 proposal he had was covered by his service contract exposing a sales person lies which is likely to get him fired.
JigglinTitties: Not a fuck up, you did good. Fuck the salesman, he's a lying, dishonorable thief. Imagine how many people he has or he will continue to steal from if you didn't confront him on his malpractice
Sad-Cartoonist-7959: Yeah bud think about all the other salesman who are actually following the rules and not shafting the customer a 14000 upcharge is big boy fraud
Wraithbeard: There are salesmen who follow rules?
Sad-Cartoonist-7959: Yeah bud most people aren't evil incarnate but corporations on the other hand
SkyezOpen: >most people aren't evil incarnate
Yeah but I feel like the venn diagram of not evil people and salesmen have very little overlap.
TheYungWaggy: I think you'd be surprised by how many people simply take the jobs that are available. Many salesmen are just average people.
Source: I somehow ended up working in sales despite never applying for a sales job, I dont consider myself evil.
NotSoSalty: This is what the person who throws ads on every available surface everywhere says to help themselves sleep at night.
TheYungWaggy: Jesus, I love that you managed to know my whole life & career from a singular comment. You have a gift.
*However,* I sell extremely specialised healthcare software, so... no, I dont "throw ads on every surface". We barely use ads. That would be more marketing, regardless? I don't think I've ever seen ads considered as a sales remit.
NotSoSalty: I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about your shitty justification.
If you're reacting like this maybe you do feel some sorta way about your work.
TheYungWaggy: "Shitty justification"? You mean... claiming I'm not evil solely because I have a certain job?
Is that a shitty justification? That people can take jobs for a variety of reasons, and that a job like "salesperson" isnt inherently ethical/non-ethical?
What are you on about, you fuckin weirdo? You "weren't talking about me" but you replied to my comment, implying that *I* do leave ads everywhere? Ok... maybe work on your communication skills then, matey, because that is the complete opposite of what you said.
I just happen to work in sales. I'm not evil. I got offered an entry level job during the pandemic, after I was made redundant, I took it. Therefore, the comment that "all sales people are evil" is just horseshit.
*Lots of normal people work in sales jobs.* Y'all seem to think that every sales person is some White Gold-styled conman, just makes me wonder if you've ever met anyone who actually works.
All of this is just underlined by the fact that you evidently don't even know the difference between Sales & Marketing, with your little faux pas about ads. How can you so confidently claim "all salespeople are evil" if you don't even know what a salesperson is?
| 11 | 1,016.909091 | |
1652590954 | 1652618359 | t3_upyqlu | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally bringing earrings to my dorm room.
[deleted]
LibertyPlayer: Room checks where they go through your personal stuff? Are you sure you‘re not in jail?
excessivethinker: in my boarding school last year they open your drawers and wardrobe
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1652595953 | 1652631335 | t3_upzyc8 | t5_2to41 | 39 | vampire137: TIFU by going out with 2 of my classmates and not telling my gf
So basically, I (24M) have been in a relationship with my gf (23F) for almost 3 years now. Due to some problems about studying, family and etc our relationship has had a good amount of upside downs in the last 3 months or so. We have tried to make it work and we were mostly successful, we do love each other and had no intention of ending our relationship. But as I mentioned before, the flame hasn't been burning as bright as it used to be and I had started to shift a good chunk of my attention and time to my friends. Spending late nights drinking, staying at their places and so on. And these friends that I mentioned, none of them are people that I'm interested in having a relationship with or sex. They are kinda my escape from the problems in my life and and I know that's not a nice thing to do, but I did it anyway.
So flash-forward to today, when I told my gf that I was going out for lunch with a bunch of my classmates. I didn't lie about that part, but a bunch of them failed to make it and there was only 3 of us left. Both of my other friends were girls, who I had no special relationship with other than being friends but I didn't tell my gf the truth about who I was going out.
So basically, while we were there, a mutual friend of me and my gf saw us and I knew right there it wasn't gonna end well. He told her about seeing me today, and my gf found out that I was in fact going out with 2 girls and lied to her about it. So now she is extremely upset, barely answers my text and calls and blames all of the recent problems in our relationship on me. I know I messed up, I'm not trying to justify myself. I apologized multiple times but I'm scared that this might cause a break-up. So, any help would be appreciated.
Ps. Just to be clear, nothing ever happened between me and any of those 2 girls. They were both seating across the table, no indication of anything being romantic or sexual whatsoever.
Tldr; I lied to my gf about going out with 2 of my friends (both female), she found out and is extremely heartbroken. Need some advice.
dishonest_elmo: Being seen with 2 women in an innocent setting with nothing going on seams to be the least of your problems.
You need to work out some deeper stuff which I don’t think Reddit can help with..
Reddit-username_here: *seems
dishonest_elmo: Thanks stranger, my speling is atrosious even with autocorect on!
Checkmate1win: That's because seams is a word, just not the right one in this specific case, so autocorrect doesn't catch it!
dishonest_elmo: Seams legitimate
| 6 | 6.5 | |
1652597916 | 1652604085 | t3_uq0egi | t5_2to41 | 22 | IStoleTheFries: TIFU by trying to make a grilled cheese
So about 30 minutes ago i got really hungry. So, stupid little me decides “hey, you should go make a sandwich and toast it in the microwave” That sounds like a great, tasty idea so i quietly stepped to the kitchen to not wake my parents. I quickly threw together a cheese sandwich with pepperoni and threw it in the microwave for five minutes. While waiting for the grilled cheese, i decided to scroll through tiktok. i looked up from my phone when there was about one minute left and saw a shit ton of smoke in the microwave.
“shit shit shit shit” was my thought process as i rushed to the microwave and opened the door. Quickly, a ton of smoke came billowing out of the small crevice into my kitchen. I started fanning it around with a cutting board trying to not set off the fire alarm in the apartment. I finally gathered myself enough to try to grab the plate put of the microwave, burning my fingertips. i barely noticed as i was fueled by the fear of my mom finding what i had done.
I opened the door to the outside that connected to the kitchen and started fanning all the smoke out. I ran the plate with the sandwich attached under cold water to ease the heat. I peeled the sandwich off and hid it in a chip bag in the trash. i cleaned the plate as best as i could and ran to my room. I waited about 5 minutes and then pretended to get up and “notice the smoke”. My mom immediately got up and began investigating. she somehow managed to come to the conclusion that the smoke came from the neighbors upstairs who she hates. imma die when she finds out (parents always find out)
TL;DR: I tried to make a grilled cheese in the microwave causing a ton of smoke to form which led to my mom blaming it on the neighbors
Whiskee_Kilo: This made me sad because you did not get your sandwich and the fear it brought you. /:
Tip for the future, next time put the bread in a toaster(make sure the toaster level is not to high or you’ll burn the bread) then after it’s done toasting assemble your sandwich and microwave it for 30 second intervals until till the cheese is melted.
IStoleTheFries: i will remember this for next time, thx
blinkandmisslife: Mom here 👋 we will smell the toaster being used so maybe just assemble the sandwich and nuke for 30s at a time until done or ask mom if it's ok to make a snack If you get hungry before bed.
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1652603700 | 1652711046 | t3_uq1qbo | t5_2to41 | 26 | oliviaelise: TIFU by calling my brother my boyfriend
Tonight I went to my brother (Sam) girlfriends birthday party and I was surprised to see an old high school teacher I had years ago. The party was quite loud with music and people talking and I loudly told the old teacher “I’m Sams Girlfriend” as a reminder and everyone just stared at me for at least 30 seconds. After I realized what I said and how loudly and confidently I said that he responded “I know you’re Sam’s sister you didn’t have to explain” with an apathetic tone. I just felt so embarrassed as everyone laughed at me for at least a minute. It’s been a couple hours and I still feel painfully embarrassed - if anyone knows how to feel less embarrassed after a mix up like this I’d love to hear how. I read online that anxiety and stress can cause word mix ups, and I was feeling anxious to see an old teacher, so maybe that explains. I feel like i’ll never recover from this embarrassment :(
TL;DR - TIFU by accidentally calling my brother my boyfriend when talking loudly to an old high school teacher.
Great-Gazelle-4586: Honestly own it
Can't be much worse than accidentally miss gender yourself
Yes i was talking to an old classmate and they said to me
"Didn't know you had a sibling"
I replied with "yes im her sister"
Needless to say that went around the school for a while
SalleighG: But do you rock that dress?
Great-Gazelle-4586: I look sexy af in a dress
DogWithWatermelon: Proof?
Great-Gazelle-4586: I can't trust the internet not to do a tribute
SalleighG: But... Pet tax!
Great-Gazelle-4586: Im sorry...
Are you asking me to be your bitch?
| 8 | 3.25 | |
1652608947 | 1652688509 | t3_uq2w2i | t5_2to41 | 684 | haiqjwvecvdmsls: TIFU by using the toilet at an airport
I just came back from a business trip where my return flight was early in the morning. Since I’m not an early morning person and love my sleep, I got the bare minimum time to get ready, which is enough for me.
So naturally I eat breakfast at the airport. It’s then when I realised I need to use the toilet afterwards.
It was a real bad pressure. So I did what I had to do.
Since I wanted to avoid the water splash my holy parts I put a layer of toilet paper on the water. Just three to five papers nothing much. Typical procedure when I go outside.
Little did I know airport toilets are not the most modern ones. So when I flush the toilet gets clogged immediately from the first layer of paper I put.
I figure there’s a huge line of people waiting outside for their turn already, and only two toilet cabins.
Naturally I can’t leave the toilet clogged like this. Everyone’s gonna stare. I start to panic, so I wait for the water tank to fill up again. And do the only thing I could think of: try to flush again.
Huge mistake. I immediately regret when I see the toilet filling up more and more. I try to stop the flooding but I can’t. It overfills the bowl and floods everything. Before I can comprehend the amount of the mess, I hear distressed screams from the other cabin next door followed by “EWWW WHATS THAT!”.
I knew I was doomed to the point of no return. The queue outside didn’t seem to have gotten smaller only bigger. I stayed inside until I heard the door of the other cabin open and close a few times.
I prepared myself for my walk of shame and just burst out of the cabin, saying “I wouldn’t use this toilet” when I see the next impatient person in queue making their way towards the now open cabin.
I wash my hands and rush out hoping nobody will recognise me. Felt like a criminal. Until my plane set off I was scared that airport security or the person who i splashed with my intestines filling was gonna find me and hold me accountable.
Tl;dr Clogged the airport toilet and ended up flooding the only other cabin, too with a never ending queue outside.
akai_tsubaki: This feels like USA issue. Your electricity sucks and you building paper houses. I wouldn't surprised if is your plumbing game weak as well
Mayor__Defacto: OP is from Belgium.
akai_tsubaki: European, that's kinda embarrassing.
Mayor__Defacto: As for “paper houses”… Norway is building skyscrapers out of wood these days.
akai_tsubaki: Makes me wonder how long would last American skyscrapers if they were build from wood.
FuckOffKarl: Weird way to double down on it being American issues after it being pointed out it was a European poster
akai_tsubaki: As I said, it's kinda embarrassing that happened in Europe. Since Murica is known for weak building game
FuckOffKarl: lol it is not
akai_tsubaki: Your biggest prides were attacked from top and started collapsing from bottom.....
FuckOffKarl: Ooooooh. You’re a crazy person and don’t understand how structures collapse. You could’ve just led with that.
akai_tsubaki: Man, whatever makes you happy .
| 12 | 57 | |
1652610296 | 1652624654 | t3_uq37er | t5_2to41 | 34 | KesslerTheBeast: TIFU by giving a ghost permission to enter my dreams
So this was actually 2 years ago. This will be relevant but for quite some time, I slept on the couch in the living room because for some reason I thought it was more comfortable. It's not.
I was hanging out with my friend Victor in my room. I was to his right side facing towards him and he was looking at me. To the left of him was a desk with a little Reaper(Overwatch) key chain. As we were talking, I saw with my own two eyes the Reaper key chain fall off the desk, but it didn't just go towards the edge of the desk and drop straight down. No, it arched up and curved down, as if it was thrown. Victor turned his head when he heard it hit the ground and I jut stood there, staring in disbelief because I don't really believe in the paranormal. Then I looked around to see what could have caused that, even though I already knew there was no logical explanation, I still had to check. After about 2 minutes of looking around I placed the Reaper key chain back to where it was on the desk, go walk to where I was before and when I turn around, it's back on the floor but no it didn't make a noise this time. Victor was pretty shook because he believes in the paranormal. And then this is where I fucked up... I said out loud "If there's anything there, you have my permission to enter my dreams." Immediately Victor turns to me with a horrified expression on his face and just says, "OOOOOOHH YOU FUCKED UP!" And I just smiled back at him, completely ignorant of what I was going to experience.
For months I kept having dreams that took place where I slept, on the couch in the living room. These are some of the dreams I kept having. The last one was a reoccurring one must of had that dream like 30 times.
Dream/Nightmare 1) I wake up in the middle of the day and something feels off about it. I was all alone not even my cats were around and then my attention was drawn towards the corner of the living room. The closest right next to where I sleep. I get closer to it and I put my ear to the door and all I heard was a bunch of whispering voices. I have no idea what they said but I woke up feeling so scared and covered in sweat.
Dream/Nightmare 2) I wake up in the middle of the night and feel scared for some reason. I get out my phone, look through the camera, and pointed it towards the kitchen table. What I saw was a floating girl in a white dress or gown. In my phone she looked distorted, especially her face, but I could still tell her face looked mummified with a tortured expression. I took a picture and I think I tried ignoring it and went back to sleep. When I woke up, for real this time, the first thing I did was check my photo gallery to see the picture I took but of course... pictures you take in a dream don't transfer to real life.
Dream/Nightmare 3) I wake up in the middle of the night. I open my eyes and the living room is barely lit by the moonlight. I'm still laying down and then I notice something. A vague black figure standing over me. It had no definite edges like a silhouette. It was more like a tangible shadow. I felt immense fear, IMMENSE. I could barely move and for some reason I reached towards it but I kept being pulled back. I remember exactly how it felt, just like that U.F.O. ride that spins really fast. The same sensation. Every time I had this dream it always went the same way. I wake up with it standing over me, I reach towards it while feeling that sensation of being pulled back, as my hand gets closer to it I start to hear a sort of rumbling type of noise, my eyes start to close, and when I'm about to touch it. The dream ends.
I had those dreams for close to 6 months. I had other dreams but these 3 were the ones I remember the most. Especially the last one.
​
TL;DR I gave a ghost permission to enter my dreams with a smile on my face. 6 months of the ghost visiting me in my dreams, I no longer had that smile.
Jumanjoke: Use this simple trick :
1. Ask the ghost to tell you something true that you have no chance of knowing.
2.Verify the claim.
3. Realize the ghost is your own imagination.
4. As it is your imagination, imagine it as a big tiddy ghost girlfriend.
KesslerTheBeast: I have no explanation for what that was. Ghost is the best I think of. Imagination can't make things move. Also I'm not the type of person who realizes when I'm in a dream, didn't help that all the dreams took place where I slept.
Jumanjoke: The false awakening dream is the most realistic explanation then. Maybe you are stressed about something and your brain constructed the ghost in response to said stress.
Well, if it can help you, if you believe in paranormal, try putting salt under your pillow or somewhere where you sleep. (It isn't comfortable, like having sand in your bed).
Salt is believed to have good properties, and it pushes ghosts away.
I personnally don't believe in paranormal, but i like the beliefs and the lore.
KesslerTheBeast: Thanks. But I'm a fairly logical person and nothing explains this. I wasn't stressed, I barely remember my dreams then I suddenly have those dreams consistently, and once again I saw with my own eyes this Reaper key chain fly off my desk. Nothing could have caused that. There is no logical explanation for that. I cannot stress enough how nothing could have caused the key chain to move the way it did. I'd still consider myself a skeptic but there's no logical explanation. I would be more inclined to believe you if I didn't see it with my own 2 eyes.
Jumanjoke: Microsleep session, and false awakening dream. If you were sleep deprived or simply tired, this could have happened. This does not mean you are crazy or stupid or anything, many people see things they can't explain everyday. You would be surprised how many ufo were in fact the moon.
KesslerTheBeast: Was not sleep deprived nor stressed. Was in complete sound mind and body. The Reaper key chain arched up and curved down like a football. Wasn't in my head because my friend reacted to the noise of when it hit the ground. Or is my friend just in my head too?? At this point you are just grasping at straws dude. If you don't believe thats fine but you're not going to gaslight me into thinking what I saw was just in my head.
Thats enough reddit for tonight/this morning. I hope you have good day. 👍
Jumanjoke: Wow i'm just trying to find a logical explanation, i'm not insulting you or saying that you are crazy or made this up. I believed you witnessed an event that you couldn't explain, but your last defensive response make me think otherwise.
I'm gonna stop wasting my time with you if you are only seeking confirmation and not an explanation.
Good day to you too.
| 8 | 4.25 | |
1652609643 | 1652656326 | t3_uq31sj | t5_2to41 | 26 | Billybeens: TIFU by telling my daughter not to link an email to her Roblox
So this FU technically started about a year year ago, but culminated today.
My 11 year old daughter, much like most kids her age, have gotten heavily invested in Roblox. We try not to spend too much on Robux for her, but we give her the opportunity to earn pocket money which she can use to buy her own Robux.
So over the past year she has been playing a lot, spending quite a bit of her hard earned pocket money on items and in game purchases, which we don't mind too much because when she was younger she was diagnosed with an intellectual disability which has left her having a pretty tough time at school the past few years with being bullied and struggling to make friends. Roblox has sort of been her escape and has actually helped her come out of her shell and to make some pretty close friends that she video calls and plays together with. So we don't mind her spending a bit of time and money online playing with her friends. She also struggles with severe anxiety, and playing when she's stressed seems to help her deal with that too.
So her and her friends have been playing one game in particular, I don't know much about it but apparently you can earn diamonds and buy all sorts of fashion gear. She has gotten to quite a high level in the past year and has been so proud of her progress.
A few days ago I get home from work and she tells me she's been hacked. Someone got her account details and locked her out of her account. So I send a request to change her password which doesn't work because she hasn't linked her email address. I asked her why not and she said "you told me I don't have to! You said it's not important"
This is where I realised my FU. When she installed and set up her Roblox account she did so on her tablet and then one day my son wanted to play Roblox so I asked her if he can borrow her tablet. She said yes but wanted to log out of her account first. When she did it prompted to link an email and, because I was in a rush, I said "don't worry about that for now, it's not important"
I decided to contact Roblox support and see what they can do. Today they got back to us and said they can't restore any in-game items and progress, only Roblox inventory. When we told her she absolutely broke down, leaving me feeling like the worst dad in the world. A whole year of progress gone!
On top of this devastating news, she tested positive for Covid yesterday which means she's missing her school camp this week which he's been looking forward to for months.
TLDR: Told my daughter not to worry about linking an email to Roblox. She got hacked and lost everything. I'm an idiot
ThreeInchDestroyer69: Cringe. I used to play Roblox when I was a kid 10 years ago and every time I hear kiddies using Roblox nowadays I can’t help but cringe. Roblox is horrible and a waste of time, and the admins sure are greedy bastards that only want to rip off as much money as possible off of kids and their parents.
Noidremained: I don't think Roblox is that old
ThreeInchDestroyer69: Roblox was created in 2005
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1652610639 | 1652778736 | t3_uq3a8k | t5_2to41 | 70 | GeneticReshuffle: TIFU I got into big trouble at school today, although I still think its stupid as to why
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RandoCalrissian11: They can’t do anything. If it was an official bus stop then they have some grounds, but if it’s after school they really can’t do anything.
It’s not illegal to record. It’s public space, you are free to record.
There’s no such thing as a permanent record. When you graduate they send your transcript of your grades and that’s about it. No disciplinary record. Colleges will only care if you tell them about it on the application.
g0thboicl1que: Schools are responsible for you until you arrive home.
Edit: Most schools have the right to deal out consequences for acts committed to/from school.
[here’s a random school that many others have the same exact policy… literally took 2 seconds of googling.](https://www.ocregister.com/2006/05/10/schools-duty-to-students-extends-off-campus/amp/)
Sorry_Ad_1285: Not even remotely true
ThinkMath42: It actually is true in many districts - part of the code of conduct that students are expected to abide by. Schools don’t always hand out consequences but they do sometimes. Especially if it creates a disturbance during the school day (such as circulating videos can do).
Sorry_Ad_1285: So the school should be in trouble with law enforcement then right? For not properly watching the kids until they get home. They should also be held responsible for every kid that gets kidnapped or hit by a car walking home because they’re still the guardians? That does not make any sense
ThinkMath42: It’s more that the students are agreeing to abide by the school rules on the way to and from school. Just like on field trips or at school sponsored events (dances and such). I’m not saying it’s right or wrong - I’m saying that’s what I have seen before. If students break the rules (fighting or videoing a fight at school) then there can be consequences. Now I don’t know what district this is and it’s not something that I would want to fight parents on (consequences for videoing the fight that is) and there may be questions since it was on private property but I’m not a lawyer. I’m just saying that generally students still have to abide by school rules on the way to and from school, that schools are still responsible for behavior on the way to and from school, which you said wasn’t remotely true.
Sorry_Ad_1285: Ya schools have a code of conduct but that is not even close to the same thing as saying schools are responsible for you until you get home. There would be so many legal repercussions on them constantly
ThinkMath42: Maybe we’re looking at the word responsible in a different way then (again, not a lawyer here). Like if kids get in a fight at school the school is still responsible for them but generally won’t get in trouble with the law as long as they do what they can to stop the fight and protect students. In fact a lot of the time teachers are told not to intervene (even though they generally jump in to help). There are cases in which the school did something wrong or didn’t do enough, but most of the time that’s not the case.
Sorry_Ad_1285: The way I read responsible was like they have custody over them. In a field trip, the school and guardians are responsible for the kids. If they go missing or get hurt the school can be held liable because they were responsible for them. Once they leave the school grounds though that’s not the schools problem unless they weren’t supposed to let the kid leave.
g0thboicl1que: You’re literally talking out of opinion against actual policies that exist.
Sorry_Ad_1285: I looked around several places and couldn’t find anything saying that they have any responsibility for their students safety outside of school grounds. If they did they wouldn’t let kids walk him alone. They wouldnt let them leave supervision because of them getting sued. Show me an actual school policy or law that says students are the schools responsibility after school hours off of school ground until they walk through their front door. So far I haven’t seen any actual policies. I’ve just seen people making comments that fly in the face of logic
I’m talking about liability. If the school is liable for the protection of students outside of school grounds then the second one gets hurt walking home the school would get the shit sued out of it. This obviously doesn’t happen. The school can punish students for off campus behavioral issues definitely but as far as being in charge of their physical safety that cannot be the case because they let millions of kids walk home unsupervised every day after school.
g0thboicl1que: Okay but I don’t know why you’re talking about liability when the post is talking about getting in trouble at school while it happened after school.
Just making a point that the school can and is allowed to punish students for what happened, on the way to, or home from school.
Sorry_Ad_1285: You’re literally the one who said schools are responsible for you until you get home. Maybe you used the wrong word there but you said that first. Yes schools can punish you for things you do outside of school. That’s not the same as being responsible for you and your safety.
g0thboicl1que: Okay but context matters.. The comment I was replying to said it would only matter if they were at an official bus stop/school grounds.
You assumed what I meant by “responsible for” without using context.
| 15 | 4.666667 | |
1652610710 | 1652611950 | t3_uq3atp | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking three-day-old coffee.
[deleted]
swcult: Unless mold was actively growing on top or you use dairy products in your iced coffee you’ll be fine. In the future instead of praying to all the gods you should just clean up after yourself
Inglejuice: I’m going to assume they use dairy products
soipelez: Iced black coffee is a wonderful thing, but definitely not as common.
| 4 | 2 | |
1652613173 | 1652624276 | t3_uq3vog | t5_2to41 | 378 | 6ThrowMeAway19: TIFU by not knowing the meaning of "Departed"
I text this guy I like rarely. So today morning, I texted him.
Me : Hey
Him : Hi, What's up?
Me: Just the usual. You?
Him : Getting my shit together. My cousin departed, a few days back.
~The part where I screwed up~
Me : Had so much fun the past days then?!
~ Didn't realise what I did, for a couple of hours~
Him: Fun? He departed!
Puzzled me goes and google the word "Departed". Google shows me "Dead". My whole world rocked reading that word. I thought 'Departed' meant leaving from somewhere like his cousin stayed with him and left him, few days back.
I race back and texted him how I misunderstood the word and profusely apologized.
Right now, I'm anxiously waiting for his reply. It's been a couple of hours.I don't want him to think of me as a sadist who enjoys people dying, for god's sake.
I am still in disbelief that I just said that to him. I can never use the word "fun or depart" without reliving this incident.
TL;DR - I thought 'Departed' meant "Leaving". My friend's cousin passed away(departed) and I replied with "had so much fun in the past days then?"
shadesofwolves: I would understand departed to mean leaving, too. Unless they specifically say "passed away" - departed has multiple meanings, clearly. Not your FU.
RandoCalrissian11: Exactly. A plane departs, a person dies.
shadesofwolves: I certainly wouldn't want to visit a departure lounge.
Foxrex: Isn't that just Earth?
timelord-degallifrey: Sarasota, FL - God’s waiting room. I’m now calling it the departure lounge.
| 6 | 63 | |
1652615238 | 1652713539 | t3_uq4dul | t5_2to41 | 34,235 | SoapBoxGradeA: TIFU by taking my Tinder date to the gym
[removed]
athens619: Don't push yourself inorder to impress your date, this is a prime example of knowing your limits, pretty sure you could have done something else besides impressing her with how much you can lift.
Eulerious: Also: nobody wants to see someone with a redfaces grimace and veins popping up on neck and forehead like they usually do when you lift at your absolute limits.
Throwing on 70% of what you can lift, doing it a couple of reps (stopping short of what you could do) and being able to brush that off like it was nothing is a WAY better look.
athens619: Op is lucky he only pooped and pissed himself and didn't break or sprain his back or a body part or tore a muscle. These types of pushing past limits results in injuries or permanently fucking up their body for life. He's lucky he didn't pass out and the weight landing on him
lavishlad: dislocated my shoulder while benching, can confirm please don't ego lift. this is actually one of the reasons i much prefer working out alone - it's you vs you, there's nothing to be gained by impressing your gym buddy,
in this case its even worse ngl, the girl doesn't lift so she wont even know the difference between 275 and 350. but i guess the alcohol didn't help op's decision making.
railbeast: You vs you is literally how every one of my injuries happened and now I'm realizing maybe I'm in a toxic relationship with meself
Silver928: Literally me. I have a bad habit of pushing myself cause I've had this roller coaster of a body. I was fat, then got fit cause of the military, then got fat after covid, got fit cause we got back to doing more physical stuff and realized how bad I was off, then got fat again cause of an injury that left me unable to work out at all, and now I'm fit-ish and on my way again. I push myself cause I'm tired of being overweight, but that pushing ends up in hurting myself cause I used to lift much more and now I was back at square one for the 3rd time
089712381792: Pushing yourself is actually really bad. I gave myself chronic back pain by doing it. It was only after being at a rehabilition center and going through their psych program that I realized how pervasive that mentality really was. If the only way you know how to get things done is by hating yourself, hurting yourself is inevitable. It can be physical like in your case, but you could also easily get a burn-out in your professional life.
The worst part is: it works to get you the results so you constantly get a positive feedback loop.
yes_no_yes_yes_yes: > Pushing yourself is actually really bad
Hard disagree. Load management is important but you should always be pushing yourself.
089712381792: Do you stop when you've clearly hurt your muscles/joints/tendons?
yes_no_yes_yes_yes: I’ve never really hurt myself. Unless I’ve straight up torn a muscle, fucked a joint, or damaged a tendon I don’t plan on not lifting. Most stretches and strains need some recovery work, stretching, and lifting — maybe a deload week to boot.
If you want strong results you have to consistently push yourself. Not advocating ignoring injury by any means, but lifting with intensity isn’t going to feel comfortable.
089712381792: >If you want strong results you have to consistently push yourself. Not advocating ignoring injury by any means, but lifting with intensity isn’t going to feel comfortable.
Your definition of 'pushing yourself' is probably different from mine (and the person I've responded to). I thought that was clear from the rest of my comment, but maybe not. Obviously if you take fitness seriously you will beuncomfortable and you will try to push boundaries and yourself. I am in no way advocating for being complacent.
But (1) it needs to be sensible pushing. And (2) it should come from a healthy perspective, not from a place of self-hate. If the only reason you get things done is because you cant stand yourself if you dont get it done, I stand behind the statement that I think there's a very good chance you're going to hurt yourself eventually.
What's going to happen if you do hurt yourself at some point and the only way you get to feel good about yourself is these externalities? Most people like that are going to try and push through the pain eventually. That's no good.
Edit: I want to add that I was initially talking more broadly than lifting. But if you're this way when lifting there's a high likelihood that mentality bleeds over into other areas of your life.
yes_no_yes_yes_yes: That’s absolutely a sensible position and I must have misunderstood, my bad.
I’m a bit jumpy when it comes to this topic on Reddit because of the ceaseless wave of ne’er-do-wells who insist that you should never lift two days in a row, never deadlift heavy, never squat, never strengthen your back, etc.
Working from the right state of mind and not being an idiot about it is absolutely valid, though.
089712381792: That's okay. I get where the misconception comes from as I started with 'pushing yourself is bad'. My reasoning behind my comment was to share my own misfortune hopefully saving someone else my own fate. When I was pretty serious about the gym people there would tell me I should 'push' myself and 'no pain no gain'. I thought that's what they meant, ya know?
| 14 | 2,445.357143 | |
1652614892 | 1652617329 | t3_uq4asm | t5_2to41 | 24 | Wild_Button8660: TIFU thinking a neighbour had died.
In order to set up the story, you need to know that the section of my building that I live in has some seriously long hallways. Think The Shining but drab. Between my unit and the elevator (which is a good 100m or so away) there are approximately 20 units. Given that this is a large building with relatively small units, we all frequently can smell a large variety of smells coming from one another’s units. I feel like this is super common in most buildings. Other than the first few months of my pregnancy, this has never bothered me because I have a pretty strong stomach
Now to where I fucked up. My husband and I had gathered up the baby and the dog and were heading out for an afternoon walk - because we had the stroller we had to take the elevator. Partway down the hall (keep in mind in my building you still needed masks at this time) we started to smell something really foul. This isn’t *that* surprising given that we have had a few incidents with people on our floor leaving garbage on the floor of the chute room. But as we kept walking, it didn’t smell like garbage. And it was starting to smell incredibly strong - getting stronger.
The smell was so foul, unfamiliar, and overpowering that we were straight up worried someone in one of the units had died and was rotting. I ended up gagging it was so bad. Obviously, we were both concerned and made sure to tell the concierge on our way out that hey there’s a crazy smell on our floor we think someone died. He naturally seemed alarmed and assured us he would check on it.
We found out later that evening that when the concierge went to check out the smell, he also almost threw up too. When he found the right unit, it turned out they were just cooking FISH! Which none of us could believe because it smelled nothing like fish and everything like a rotting corpse. He told us that he advised them not to eat what they were preparing because it was off to the point of concerning the neighbours AND him lol.
TLDR; my husband and I smelled a smell so bad we thought a neighbour had died and started to decompose in their unit but it was just someone cooking something that had likely gone off.
mamanova1982: I watch way too much true crime.... Cooking fish is a common excuse when trying to cover up the smell of a body 🤣
Wild_Button8660: Hahahaha right?!
| 3 | 8 | |
1652618833 | 1652620573 | t3_uq5dx0 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU not cleaning up my nut
[deleted]
Intelligent_Union261: 
Am I understanding this right…you just skeet right on the bed sheet and leave it?
OkVolume1: Skeet on a sheet.
Intelligent_Union261: 
| 4 | 4 | |
1652617720 | 1652620899 | t3_uq52gg | t5_2to41 | 23 | DonNibross: TIFU by vomiting profusely at Jurassic Park
This happened 29 years ago back when I was 9. A post on r/movies reminded me about it today though.
Jurassic Park was coming out! Me and my best friend were super excited about it. We bought the trading cards, a couple toys, made our own plans for what the sequel would be (we didn't know the book had a sequel), and just generally became obsessed. There was one slight catch though, when the movie finally came out my family couldn't afford to go.
Fast forward a few months: School's started again and I really didn't want to go that day. Plus, I'd heard Jurassic Park had finally made it to the dollar cinema in the mall! So I concocted a plan. I knew my mother was a softy when we claimed being sick and would keep me home. Then, a few hours later I came downstairs and said I felt fine now. Can we go see a movie, mom?
She smiled wryly and said ok. On our way to the mall I told her I was hungry, so we stopped at Long John Silvers. I proceeded to pour almost an entire bottle of malt vinegar on my fish. Mom asked me if that was too much? After all, I had a stomachache that morning. I love malt vinegar though, bring it on!
We walked through the mall to the dollar theatre. As mom was buying the tickets my stomach started to gurgle. Like, a lot. Didn't matter, Jurassic Park was about to start! The smell of the popcorn made it worse though. We took our seats and the previews started, but I couldn't focus. Now I actually didn't feel well. I left to go to the bathroom, walking faster and faster as I began to retch. I made it just in time, filling up two toilet bowls with vomit. Then I made my sad, sorry way back to my mom...
"Mom, I don't feel well. Can we go home?"
We left, and I spent the rest of the day in bed, vomit bowl by my side. When I finally saw Jurassic Park it was on VHS, rented from blockbuster. And it took me years to eat make vinegar again.
tl;dr Tricked my mom into letting me stay home by playing sick so I could go to a movie. Ate way too much malt vinegar and actually got sick. Karma bit me in the ass that day.
Krian78: The Lost World book was released two years after the movie version of the first book…
DonNibross: Aw, that means the stupid sequel screenplay we hashed together (while literally knowing nothing about a movie we hadn't seen) could've worked!
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1652620449 | 1652627757 | t3_uq5vet | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: tifu by eating a single piece of candy as breakfast
[deleted]
Dynamic_Gravity: Oh wow yeah. Never break a fast with sugar. Always protein.
Hope you feel better soon OP.
GoonyGooGoo42: Solid advice.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1652621637 | 1652622784 | t3_uq68mc | t5_2to41 | 46 | PokePumpkin: TIFU by dropping my undies in the middle of the road
This did not happen today but around 5 to 6 years back? Just remembered it today though and thought it was funny.
When I in primary, we had a school camp where we would go "camping" for 3 to 4 days. Our rooms were fsr from the bathroom, so we had to bring our toiletries from our room to the bathroom and back everytime we use the bathroom.
I was going for a shower and brought all my clothes, but on the way dropped by undies on the road. I only noticed right before I took off my clothes in the bathroom, so I thought I forgot to bring it with me and went back to my room to get a pair. That was when I saw a group of teachers and students huddled up around my dropped undies.
They were all wondering whose it was, and picking it up and examining it (think maybe like detective finding clues). They spotted me back from the bathroom and asked if it was mine and I said no (I dont know if they bought it because I am a terrible liar) and ran away. No idea what happened to the undies after that.
Either way, I think this event was overshadowed by one of the teachers getting caught bathing with some students, so maybe no one except me remembers it.
Tldr; dropped my undies otw to the bathroom, undies got discovered by some teachers, teachers asked me if it was mine, I said no and ran away (terrible liar). No idea what happened to the undies ever since.
These_Order_6212: That’s funny I would have did the same unless I really liked that pair 😂
PokePumpkin: I was way too desperate at the time to even think about the undies, I was just crying inside really XD
| 3 | 15.333333 | |
1652622762 | 1652627770 | t3_uq6l9d | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a dream I shouldn't have
[deleted]
Reddoraptor: Not believable for an instant.
Neuro_Skeptic: Yet still more believable than half the posts on this sub
| 3 | 2 | |
1652624057 | 1652675397 | t3_uq7048 | t5_2to41 | 2,605 | theOtherWatches: TIFU by not reading the headline right while researching baby names
TIFU first thing in the morning. My wife is pregnant with our first child and is due in about a month. We've been back and forth about names ever since the test came back positive. We thought we had a solid name and dropped it last night so this morning I started searching through reddit again for more ideas.
If you sort r/namenerds by popularity the top post is very touching if you read the title correctly. I didn't, quickly screen capped "my wife gave birth 8 hours ago and I'm on reddit desperately searching for a name" and sent it to my wife with the subtitle "us next month." She woke up, read the message and rolled back over without saying anything. It's early so I didn't think anything of it.
About an hour later I went back to the message to forward it to a friend and re read what I had sent. "My wife died giving birth 8 hours ago...." with the sub title "us next month." Woke her up and apologized profusely. Going to spend the day trying to help her forget I'm an idiot.
TLDR: Didn't read title or most of post. Sent screen cap to pregnant wife that says she's going to die soon.
2020popcicle: Handed the phone to my husband saying "I know I'm always mad at you, but at least you don't make me this mad."
Seriously though, I'm not sure how your wife handles anger, but rolling over and not leaving the room just because you're in it is a good sign. You definitely still need to make it up to her lol. Good luck!
Utkarsh_Goel: Make me want to make a meme on "bet she's thinking about other women"
rachelleeann17: It took me way too long to realize your profile photo wasn’t actually a cooch
shaggypoo: It took me half a second because that profile pic has been used thousands of times since 2013
| 5 | 521 | |
1652625253 | 1652629878 | t3_uq7dp6 | t5_2to41 | 2 | This_Background_7421: TIFU: I [17M] was caught high because I accidentally smoked up the room my grandma was going to stay in, also broke my phone
Last night my brother and I bought an eighth and some papers, we were attempting to roll a joint for the first time. While my mother was out picking up my grandmother from the airport, I figured it would be a good time to try and roll one of these babies up. Forty five minutes, six papers, six rolled up post-it notes, a plastic water bottle, aluminum foil and a whole lot of wasted weed later, we folded and ended up calling one of my friends to do it for us. Thing about this friend is that he was pretty fake and I was sure he would make us smoke it on the spot regardless of our circumstances, but I really just wanted to get high so it wasn't a big deal. Ten minutes later we had ourselves an unevenly grinded character of a joint that we took to the park and began to smoke.
The weed wasn't great quality, but it was good enough to make me forget about the rest of the weed that still sat open in the room where my grandma was going to stay in just under an hour later. So we finish the joint, say goodbye to my friend, and I start skateboarding down the hill away from the park. Unfortunately, this hill was my worst enemy while skating high because of the little ditch and elevation-change at the very bottom of it. I said screw it because I've done it before and run, hop on the board and bend my knees more than usual to get over this bump. This scene pretty much mentally occurred in slow motion. I confidently skate to the bottom of the hill, hit the bump with the front of the board and am sent flying over the board. In the milliseconds I had till I hit the ground, I was forced to make a decision; throw my phone away which was stupidly located in the hand I had to use for bracing, or take the fall and keep the phone hand up. I chose wrong, ended up with a broken phone just a day after my brother did the same -- also while skating. So I'm a bit freaked out at this point but I was high and that was better than being sober so I decided to just skate home and worry about it later.
I get home, and my Spanish exchange student is laughing about how much the basement reeked of weed. I start spraying Febreze everywhere in a frantic frenzy, and soon the air was a repulsive mixture of marijuana and various air fresheners. While I was cleaning up, I realized that the weed was still open and under a table, probably what was making the room smell so much. I get aluminum foil, wrap the bowl up, seal everything in two plastic bags and move it to my room. With just a few minutes to spare, I manage to shower and change in time for my mother and grandmother to get home. I come downstairs from my room and everyone is hauling luggage into the house, keep in mind that my body was riddled with bruises and open wounds from the skateboard accident. My mother opens the basement door and my Spanish exchange student offers to bring down the luggage for them, giving me a reassuring thumbs up about the smell. My mother goes down with SES nevertheless, and I move to the other room instead of waiting in anticipation.
Fifteen seconds later, my mom bursts through the door and starts angrily asking about why the basement smelled so much like weed. I knew my dumb ass should've rolled outside, I just did it because the table looked like a cool place to roll weed on. The rest of the night was extremely awkward because both me and my brother were obviously both high out of our minds. As soon as I greeted my grandmother she started asking me about why I changed my hair, asked me to comb it, compared my height to my brothers, told me I needed to shave and that that I looked like a complete mess. what the fuck, i thought grandmas were supposed to be unconditionally nice. Dinner was interesting to say the least. My grandma was offended that we weren't asking her questions so she started listing out options. I say "how is grandpa?" -- he had dementia or something last time I checked. My grandma responded "emma? yeah she's great... \[long winded description about how great and hard-working my cousin is\]." I guess her hearing has gotten pretty bad. My mother joins us at the dinner table and immediately looks at me and my brother and says, in a completely normal tone, "how dare you smoke in the basement right before my mom came here. you two are doing the dishes tonight and, let me make it clear that neither of you are going anywhere. My mom can't hear us." We nodded in agreement and I struggled to enjoy my burrito because I forgot to put sour cream in it. Anyway, I still haven't told her that I broke my phone and it is very unlikely that I'm getting a new one anytime soon. I'm secretly glad that I got caught and hope that I get grounded heavily because this is a habit that I gotta at least slow down a bit, I mean it's the morning after all this shit happened and I smoked while my grandma was at church. Anyway I'm just rambling, let me know down below if you want to hear the story about how I found out that my girlfriend was transgender or got so high that I accidentally fingered a girls leg. Those two stories are unrelated I'm pretty sure.
TL;DR. smoked a joint with my brother while my mom went to pick my grandmother from the airport, got caught because I accidentally smoked up the room my grandma was supposed to stay in.
CaptEdwardThatch: Learn your lesson and stop doing this shit
This_Background_7421: dont plan on it just yet
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1652627907 | 1652629052 | t3_uq88uv | t5_2to41 | 15 | gsvevshxndb: TIFU by sitting with my legs crossed
Disclaimer: If you are already stressed about finals/SATs/similar tests, this may stress you out a bit more and I would not recommend reading it.
Pretext: I normally sit with my legs crossed. Yes I’m a guy, but out of habit I normally have one foot resting on or under the other leg’s knee. Occasionally, one foot goes numb from lack of blood flowing “uphill”. Also had 2 bloody noses within ~3 days before the exam (you can probably see where this is going).
A few days ago I took the *AP English Language and Composition* exam. The exam itself was easier than expected (but still a hint challenging). As usual I sat with my legs crossed and at some point during the essay section I uncrossed them. Had the usual pins and needles that comes with sitting normally, then suddenly I woke up on the floor. I apparently passed out and bumped my head off the desk of the person sitting next to me then the floor.
Needless to say I was taken down to the nurse’s office and my parents were promptly called. They took me to the ER for bloodwork and I got to pass out a second time when they gave me an IV (It took 3 attempts to find a good vein and I passed out on the second try).
The main PA (and my parents who also work in medicine) said it was mainly caused by dehydration, the heat of the room, and stress of the exam. I don’t want to seem like an A-hole disagreeing with medical experts, but I am almost solely blaming it on low blood pressure caused by returning blood-flow to my foot (and the previous bloody noses). I wasn’t stressed, none of the students complained about the room being hot during the break, and I thought I drank a lot of water beforehand. So yeah, I’m blaming it entirely on how I was sitting.
TL;DR: Sat with my legs crossed for most of an AP exam. Went to uncross them and the blood moving to my slightly numbed foot led to me passing out onto the floor. Will redo the part of the exams this week (wish me luck 😊)
AcrobaticSource3: What other AP classes are you taking? That’s cool, you can save a lot of money in college tuition
gsvevshxndb: This year: Physics I & Language/Composition(regret not taking Calc I. Guidance counselor convinced parents that it would be better after I semi-bombed precalc during the pandemic)
Next year: Statistics, French, Literature, & Chemistry
| 3 | 5 | |
1652629457 | 1652631086 | t3_uq8rtm | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by secretly recording a woman and trusting the wrong person with what I did.
[deleted]
SublightMonster: All of your regret seems to be from getting caught, and not from the fact that you’re being a really shitty creep.
You feel like you made a mistake sharing something with a person who then violated your trust? That’s what happened to every person who ever got recorded by you.
[deleted]: Guess what , every person I ever recorded has 1. No contact with me whatsoever , and 2. Never found out about what I did . Way too assume stuff and put it out of context .
SublightMonster: You don’t get it. The fact they didn’t find out changes nothing. You acted like a complete creep to every one of them.
[deleted]: Most of them I didn’t even talk to and didn’t even acknowledge my existence . Keep assuming stuff
sikeclonenot: Just because they don’t talk to you acknowledge you doesn’t mean this is okay, Jesus fuck dude ur really fucked in the head mate.
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1652631322 | 1652633867 | t3_uq9fay | t5_2to41 | -17 | NewLine1196: TIFU by driving my girlfriend to suicide…
[removed]
MayorOfSmurftown: Try not to beat yourself up. There's a good chance she would've killed herself whether or not you were in the picture.
Heiling_Seitan: Nah man, he should beat himself up. Not being callous, but we only see his side of the story and he openly admits she was fine before he stepped into the picture. When the own author paints himself as an emotionally abusive person, I’ll take him at his word. He should feel as responsive as he feels he is, whether that’s a lot or a little. Am I saying he should Alt F4 life.exe? Not at all. I am saying he needs to consider what he has done, get therapy, and hopefully move on from this a better person. One can almost always change
MayorOfSmurftown: Mentally healthy people don't kill themselves just because of one bad relationship. She clearly had serious mental health issues completely unrelated to the relationship.
Heiling_Seitan: May I refer you to some amazing teams of scientists at NASA, because I believe I found something more dense than a black hole… The author clearly states that things were fine, it wasn’t until he became controlling and abusive that she spiraled. He openly admits that he would gaslight, manipulate, cut her off from support, and even explicitly states that HE ruined her life after they got together. Like I said, we will never get her side. All we have to go off of is the picture OP painted for us, and it seems heavily that he had a large portion to blame. I’m not judging anyone, I’ve been an emotionally abusive toxic partner before I realized the error of my ways. That’s the thing about growth as a person - it hurts because you are both the sculptor and marble. You, however, seem to lack any reading comprehension and show at least a small lack of empathy for people
MayorOfSmurftown: I'm not saying he should feel like he was a good boyfriend, I'm saying he shouldn't hold himself directly responsible for her death. While his behavior might have played a small factor, she was clearly suffering from serious mental health issues that ultimately led her to deciding to take her own life.
A mentally healthy person in her situation would not have taken the actions she did. OP can't hold himself responsible for his girlfriend's mental illness.
Heiling_Seitan: You’re extrapolating things that aren’t there to fit your narrative. Look I get it. You’re early 30’s, single, probably blame society and women for that. So you lash out. You lash out at any sign that a woman may be wrong, or that the man might be totally innocent. Read the fucking room, my guy! OP says he did a laundry list of things over the course of a year and a half that would drive almost anyone to consider unaliving themselves. If OP wants to feel fully responsible, he should. If he wants to feel minimally responsible, it’s his prerogative. Don’t try and downplay his role in this to mold the narrative you want to create. I used to be like you - Nerdy, overweight (No clue if you are, but I assume you don’t think too highly of your physical appearance and weight was a big factor for my thoughts), probably socially awkward. I used to rage against women, rage against society, but mostly I would just rage… Until I learned that it was me all along. So what I’m trying to get at is, you need to touch grass. Develop empathy. Learn to read what is written and not what you want to read. Learn to look inside yourself before you decide to try and find it anywhere else. We’re all gonna make it, brah
MayorOfSmurftown: Who really lacks empathy here? OP is clearly remorseful and has mentioned he is already considering taking his own life. Why should I join the dogpile of everyone telling him "you're a fucking scumbag and you deserve to feel guilty for the rest of your life"?
Guess who is reading these messages? It's not his dead girlfriend. It's OP. I'm basically the only person in this thread who has demonstrated any empathy for the OP, the guy who is ACTUALLY reading these messages and may or may not decide to kill himself because of his guilt.
Heiling_Seitan: Can you point out where I called him a scumbag? I said he has a right to feel as responsible as he wants to feel, and to get therapy. You went the other route, going toxic positivity that he is wholly innocent and he had no part. Neither extreme is beneficial to OP. If he tries to absolve himself of any guilt, remorse might bite him in the ass years later. If he takes all guilt, he may not see tomorrow. Believe it or not, there are paths one can take to mitigate negative thoughts and overcome them with time. Hence why I stated that he should feel as guilty as he wants or can, and to seek therapy
| 9 | -1.888889 | |
1652630752 | 1652714344 | t3_uq983t | t5_2to41 | 723 | Ok_Presentation5134: TIFU by sending my crush pictures of a dissected brain and heart
This happened 5 hours ago and I (f, 22) feel like an utterly creepy psychopath.
My crush and I attend the same university but with different majors. I am on my way to become a doctor specializing in surgery whereas my crush is persuing an artsy degree.
Yesterday, we were both hanging out on campus with mutual friends. At one point, one of the guys started to talk about a scuba diving incident, where an elderly person had a stroke and died on the boat. He got rolled up in a rug and stayed like that - dead - on the boat for a whole week until they were able to dock and get the dead man off the boat. This sparked a conversation amongst us because half of the group thought it would have been better to throw him into the sea and let him get eaten by the fish and the other half thought that this would be morally wrong but probably the best thing to do anyway.
I then made a connection to the brain and heart we recently dissected in one of our courses and my crush seemed to be interested in what we did and asked some questions.
Because I'm a horney woman in her early twenties, I wanted to text my crush today. Which I did. I sent 9 pictures of the heart and brain my group and I dissected. 9 pictures full of blood, scalpels, brain tissue and heart muscels. Each picture more gruesome than the one before.
Well, needless to say, my wonderful, innocent crush, who has nothing to do with blood and organs butchered up on a table, did not appreciate those pictures at all. No response so far. Just utter silence.
I have since pondered about names for a possible name change and which country I could move to. There is no way on earth that we will ever talk to each other again, because who in their right mind would ever want to hang out with someone who just sends around pictures of mushy brain and broken heart supstances?!
tl;dr: Out of horniness, I sent my crush pictures of a dissected heart and brain.
Wereno: I fail to see the connection between the crush's curiosity in your interests your horiness in sending the photos. That would probably be something more akin to to you two expanding your platonic relationship as a greater base for a romantic/sexual relationship rather than them being sexual in nature.
Unless of course the photos _were_ sexual in nature for you, in which case, there are bigger fish to fry than a non-response froma crush.
sprucecavern: I also didn't really understand what horniness had to do with it. What do you mean OP?
rileyotis: OP, as someone who holds a B.S. in Biology/minor in Chemistry, I 100% understand why you did that. It's like how a dude feels when he sends an unsolicited dick pick. He thinks you want to see what he's "all about," if you will. He thinks you'll be like: "OH! Cool! I really like that! Let's talk about that now!!"
So. Your science brain was like, "Hey, we talked about brains and I just played with brains! He might enjoy some photos of that!"
I can talk about the grossest shit with people. While they're eating. I have no censor button and usually try to stop myself (right after I say something disgusting). So I feel your pain!
xVoXSiCk: Idk what makes you think our dicks is what we're "all about" but thats an interesting take. Guys have interests too lmao
Mechanicide: I got a pretty great dick
xVoXSiCk: Lol is that your opener
crispygrapes: Haha it worked on me, I kinda wanna see this guy's dick now.
xVoXSiCk: Lmao careful what you wish for
| 9 | 80.333333 | |
1652632721 | 1652715423 | t3_uq9wu0 | t5_2to41 | 155 | Balloons555: TIFU by making an inappropriate comment
Obligatory wasn't today, it was a long, long time ago. About 25 years, give or take.
I was a teenager and one of my teachers invited us to McDonald's. For some reason they started talking about disgusting things you ever found in food. And I pipe up with "I found a pubic hair in my sandwich recently".
The whole table went silent. I was a bit confused.
And then the teacher goes "Well, we better stop the conversation because Balloons doesn't know when to stop. Balloons, that was really disgusting and inappropriate."
I died a bit that day. I didn't understand why it was so inappropriate when hairs, fingertips, animal pieces, and worse had been mentioned.
I respected that teacher before this and after this incident, my teenager self confidence took a huge hit. Hardly ever dared contribute to any conversations after that one!
TL;DR Made a comment about disgusting stuff found in food, teacher ripped me a new one, never dared talking in groups anymore.
AcrobaticSource3: You all went to McDonalds to talk about disgusting things found in food??? *You all went to the place that serves disgusting “food” itself to talk about disgusting things found IN food???* That’s frigging ironic
Balloons555: We went for lunch, but shortly before, someone had found rat bits in their burger (not the branch we were at), so they started talking about that and about what other disgusting things anyone ever found.
Clearly a pubic hair was the teacher's limit 🤣
Mr_Papa_Kappa: Makes me remember that when I was younger I always thought it was public hair and wondered why bald people don't just go and get some for their head.
You got too much hair? Leave some at the public hair donation center for people who might need some!
EmbarrassedPackage34: My brother thought it was public hair too 😂 he thought facial hair and hair down under were both called public hair. When I started growing hairs on my chin, he grabbed them and said look, you're getting public hair!
| 5 | 31 | |
1652634516 | 1652635755 | t3_uqajmd | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Tifu by posting controversial story about me on tifu
[deleted]
xHiruzenx: Imagine crying about people being mean to you on the internet
[deleted]: Imagine all the people , living live in peace ... ;)
noble_plebian: Imagine if there were no hedgehogs.
| 4 | 2 | |
1652638424 | 1652638598 | t3_uqbwy2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU: by making a joke I shouldn’t have
[deleted]
twohedwlf: Not sure if that's gay or sexual assault. Probably both?
thebirbisthewurb: What do I do?
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1652639503 | 1652714237 | t3_uqcadi | t5_2to41 | 1,661 | SawyerSauce879: TIFU by installing a John Cena extension on my laptop
So this happened yesterday. Awhile ago I downloaded this extension for chrome on my laptop that whenever you load a new webpage it has a 1/100 chance of going to a super loud John Cena video. I thought it was hilarious, and I rarely used my laptop for things other than porn and dank memes, so I quickly forget about it.
Well last week my grandfather passed away, and my super serious military uncle asked if he could see my laptop to pick out music for the service.
Ohshitmybrowserhistory so I delete that right quick, but I forget the John Cena extension. You can probably see where this is going. Whatever god I pissed off decided that today was going to be the day. The whole fam gathers and he searches up some nice, melodic music. Real heartfelt stuff. We all agreed it was good, so he moved on to the related videos and HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA 🎺
OH.
FUCK.
I frantically reach down and hit f5 but the damage was done and now my uncle and the rest of my relatives think I found my grandpa’s death to be a great time to play a practical joke.
TL;DR I fucked up by accidentally playing a John cena video during my grandfathers funeral.
danielito72: And your cousins will be telling that story on your funeral…”remember at grandpa’s funeral when Joe…”
TheLargeShaft: Who’s joe
Minister_of_XXX: The guy that died from Ligma
TheLargeShaft: What’s ligma
YodaShagsDarthVader: LIGMA MAMA...wait no
Minister_of_XXX: JOE MA BALLS
| 7 | 237.285714 | |
1652639991 | 1652679455 | t3_uqcgkv | t5_2to41 | 196 | fennelliott: TIFU by Calling My Girlfriend My Wife
TLDR at Bottom
My girlfriend and I have been with each other now for about a year and a half and so far everything in our relationship recently has been fantastic. We've just gotten our own apartment and her son, no blood relation to me, woke her up early enough to make pancakes before I had to leave for work this morning. The whole morning seriously seemed like it wad something out of a Norman Rockwell painting, and after a big move in we were all just glad to sit down together and enjoy breakfast.
However, after we were all done and she was doing the dishes, just as I was about to leave I commented on how the blinds were left open and she was still in her nightgown. I said something along the lines of, "You gotta be careful no one other than me sees you wearing that." She asked why and as I was grabbing my keys I mentioned, using some sort of Freudian slip, "Because I don't want to explain to everyone how sexy my wife is." And I caught myself instantly saying that, and her mouth dropped. I left the house quickly red faced knowing I fucked up there in the conversation and kissed her goodbye in the most awkward scuffle I've ever made. It felt like I shit the bed to be honest with how embarrassed I felt and now that I'm at work idk what I'm going to do when I get home. We actually haven't discussed marriage at all since we've been together other than it is something we're both vaguely interested in and now I don't want to have to sit her down and say I'm not ready yet. It just feels awkward and out of place, and it doesn't help that our actual neighbor thinks we are married and I haven't really corrected him on that yet. It feels like I'm just coasting on idea of us being together that way, like some trial run in the back of my head. Anyways, I'm hoping we both get drunk enough to forget it when I get home and won't have to have the conversation of marriage until I'm certain it's something I want.
​
TLDR; My girlfriend was in a nightgown, mentioned I didn't want anyone seeing my wife like that. Left red faced and embarrassed.
IndyPoker979: 1. it was a slip of the tongue.
2. You obviously are thinking about it. The question is, is she thinking about it?
fennelliott: I'm sure it's crossed her mind, but I think we're still on the same page where it's we both know it's still a little too early to decide.
curtial: The best possible thing you can do is address it directly. "Hey, I know we haven't talked about it, and I also know that WE aren't necessarily ready yet. The future IS on my mind this. Know that I love you, and I think of you as my only. How did it make you feel?"
Then listen. Maybe it made her excited, or afraid, or worried you're gonna pop the question soon, or something else entirely. Start talking to her now. It won't be the last embarrassing thing you say if you stay together.
ThatAd6968: Great advice! I've learned that plain and honest conversation works best, and it's best to start it as early as possible in the relationship. It's better to find out now that she doesn't want to get married than date for years longer and then find out. Protect yourself and her.
| 5 | 39.2 | |
1652641103 | 1652727200 | t3_uqcupo | t5_2to41 | 73 | basinko: TIFU by relieving myself over a clogged toilet.
The time is 2:36PM. The weather is warm and the birds are chirping on this beautiful North Carolina afternoon. After indulging myself to a Cook-Out burger lunch, my stomach begins to churn. I make my way to the toilet, whip out my phone for some casual tik-tok scrolling, then drop trousers and embark on my quest.
With each grunt and “hnnngh” I’m fighting for my life to release these demons from my bowls. Finally, one plop then two. I feel empty and fulfilled as If I had renounced my sins to a church called toilet. I close out of tik-tok, one wipe then two, and I flush the toilet. Suddenly I feel the cold embrace of death surrounding my Johnson. Engulfed in the murky waters of my bowls it sits and sways like drift wood through the ocean. Unbeknownst to me I had set stage upon a clogged toilet. What was believed to be a flush for courtesy quickly became a flush for disaster. And my ass? Parked on ground zero.
TL;DR pooped in a clogged toilet and got my tea bags dipped.
cruisin5268d: Who tf flushes whilst sitting? Clogged toilet aside that means you’re blasting your butt and genitals with toilet spray every time you flush.
You’re fucking nasty.
myblkz: Do people really only wipe twice 🤢
cruisin5268d: I’ve had this discussion for years with people. There’s absolutely people out there that only wipe once and don’t bother to check if follow up is necessary.
Then of course you have the guys that think “it’s gay to touch your butt” so they don’t wipe at all.
| 4 | 18.25 | |
1652639754 | 1652642491 | t3_uqcdk4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | SharkieGirl: TIFU by almost throwing out rice I thought was expired
This is a silly one, but one I'm sure to get joked about frequently by my in-laws and immediate family.
My husband and I went grocery shopping for this week's lunches. I grabbed rice that I could eat and threw it into the cart. Partially to rub in my husband's face that not all the rice contained gluten.
Last night when I was going to cook it - it said 4/23. I was so frustrated because we had just bought it.
I mentioned it to my FIL and he said that's the month and year, and that it's still perfectly fine. I was in my car and he told me I could have microwaved the rice before work, but I was running a little behind (I thought.) Now my husband is bringing me the rice so I have more than salsa chicken and beans.
So, I'm not the smartest. I'm honestly questioning how I passed my first semester in college now...
Not the worst TIFU, but still one the less, if only for having my husband bring me the rice.
TL;DR: Thought rice I just bought had expired. Didn't toss it so my husband could call Kings. Well, it turns out it was fine and I didn't think I had time to heat up the rice. Ended up getting to work 30 minutes early. I absolutely had time to heat it. Now my sweet husband is bringing it to me. How did I pass my classes this semester? I am dumb.
TokeToday: If I'm not mistaken, all rice is gluten free.
SharkieGirl: Unfortunately, if it's like broccoli-cheddar rice it's not gluten free. I went through that back when I had gastroparesis and they initially thought it was just my gluten intolerance.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1652645077 | 1652645490 | t3_uqe9hf | t5_2to41 | 6 | doodlebooby: TIFU by hugging a stranger
This happened when I was around the age of 4. It’s my first embarrassing memory, and I still cringe thinking about it late at night.
Every Saturday my mom would take my siblings and I to Walmart for our weekly grocery shopping. We were waiting in line to check out, and my mom was busy putting our groceries onto the belt. So I’m just looking at all the candy by checkout when I see a life size cardboard cutout/mannequin of a basketball player. Being bored, waiting to leave, this caught my attention. I had never seen these near a checkout before, so I decide to check it out. I go up and start touching its shirt and then give it a big hug. Suddenly it moves to back away and starts to laugh. I’m so confused as others start laughing. My mom rushes over and is blushing while apologizing profusely. To this day I get teased about this by my family. So, if a guy who was hugged by a weird white girl at Walmart in the 90’s is reading this, I’m sorry lol
TL;DR: I hugged a random guy at Walmart because I thought he was a mannequin or some kind of cardboard cutout of a basketball player.
PM__ME__YOUR_TITTY: Lol not cringe at all this is so adorable but I get the embarrassment
doodlebooby: Thanks PM_ME_YOUR_TITTY
| 3 | 2 | |
1652645395 | 1652650021 | t3_uqeder | t5_2to41 | 210 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching Hitler having sex in front of my father!
[deleted]
DanP5356: I'm sorry WHO?!?!!?
devnullius: His dad. You might have heard of the concept once or twice?
DanP5356: I meant the h*tler part not OPs father
notacockgobbler: Bro really just censored hitler
ashesall: No no, the * is a subtle nod to hitler's anus.
| 6 | 35 | |
1652645444 | 1652646083 | t3_uqee1h | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Tifu by playing the victim card on tifu
[deleted]
shadesofwolves: How many times are you going to make an account, post this rubbish, get told you're weird, creepy etc, delete your account, and start another?
[deleted]: This is my last time as I realised what I have to realise now
shadesofwolves: What makes you think TIFU is the place to discuss your sexual harassment?
It's not.
[deleted]: Which channel would be more fitting ? I’ll move it there then
ThatKaleidoscope8736: Your therapist
[deleted]: Well there is a confession channel with all kinds of controversial stuff , I guess that would be the one In terms of Reddit .
| 7 | 1.142857 | |
1652650720 | 1652655055 | t3_uqg81w | t5_2to41 | 7 | Chemical-Ant-2095: TIFU by smudging a plate of cake on my bride’s face
(Throwaway Account)
I (M29) and my wife (F27) got married a while back.
A few weeks before the date we were set to wed, I informed her about a long standing tradition in my family. In this tradition the groom smudges part of the cake on the brides nose, nothing major.
She was disgusted and told me that she wasn’t going to get “dirty” after hours of getting ready, doing makeup, picking out dresses etc…
Please note that this is an exceedingly important tradition done by every single married man in my family lineage. As the only son my parents gave birth to (I have 4 sisters, 2 younger, 2 older) if I didn’t do this, the tradition would die with me.
My father had always looked forward to my participation in the tradition and hoped to seeing his own son take part in something the sons in my family had done for generations. I know this seems like a small and stupid tradition to be hung up on, but it really means a lot to us.
Unfortunately, my father passed before my wedding date, this was devastating for me so I wanted even more to take part in the tradition to honor him, as well the other men in my family tree. I explained all this to my wife and she still declined. I tried as hard as I could to compromise, saying we could bring little napkins to wipe it off immediately and only do a little poke of icing on the very tip of her nose, chin, or even forehead. Still, she said no; I thought this was incredibly selfish.
So when the date of the wedding rolled around and it was time for the serving of cake I just did it anyways. It wasn’t even that much, nothing she couldn’t wipe off easily, she was livid. She screamed and yelled “I told you not to do that!” infront of everyone.
She ran off, and her mother followed. I sat there embarrassed, and alone at my own wedding; everyone starting at me. When I eventually tried to go to her and either explain myself or apologize she yelled at me again and sent me back to the dinning area.
This happened a while ago.. but I still cringe thinking about it, yeah I fucked up but I feel like she did too. At least in the end I got to honor my father.
TL;DR: I have a family tradition where the groom smudges cake on the bride. My wife said no, I did it anyway.
Edit: Please, I understand I was in the wrong now, and that I did F-Up but, people I know personally have begun to discover this post (I don’t know how) but please just message me instead of commenting because I don’t want anymore people I know to find this.
LadyManchineel: This is definitely a FU. What a way to begin a marriage. Husband does what he wants to his wife’s body and doesn’t care if she says “no.” You didn’t honor your father by smearing food on her face, you dishonored your wife. Hope it was worth it.
Chemical-Ant-2095: I really didn’t mean it like that, I promise I apologized to her
NotEven-Punk: I'm glad you see what you did wrong. If you didn't want comments about the situation, why make this post?
Chemical-Ant-2095: I’m okay with comments but people I know personally have found it, so I would rather take private messages
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1652652277 | 1652657830 | t3_uqgrcu | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching Family Feud while high on Benadryl
[removed]
Known-Salamander9111: that was STUPID. We used to have a frequent flyer in the ER who years prior was a Benadryl OD and is now in a PVS.
imondrugsssss: Whats a PVS
Playful-Corner-7862: persistent vegetative state
AcidAlchamy: Carrot juice?
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1652653270 | 1652732176 | t3_uqh3lp | t5_2to41 | 3 | DooDooDistributions: TIFU by researching racist mass shootings
So... I saw the buffalo shooting and how the guy had been inspired by the Christchurch mosque shooting. I use telegram for ukraine updates from various groups so I went down a bit of a rabbit hole.
Here's where it gets dark, so if you aren't into finding out please don't continue reading. I just want to warn others.
I started off at buffalo and saw AAST. It's essentially a bunch of psychotic meme generators making supposedly funny gifs of innocent people getting murdered, like the actual kill shot as a gif. Talking about their favourite kill and what they would do different, normally far worse. They call eachother n***a and I'm 100 percent sure none of them are black. They talk about how they are going to do it soon.
I mean... fuck... what do you do about these people? There'll be far more if these breeding grounds thrive. Is it okay to ban all these thing? Does it do anything to stop one.
I guess that's it from me. Just needed somewhere to vent after being so shocked.
Be kind to eachother, don't be a racist prick, don't live in a country where access to firearms is possible.
TL;DR - There's a lot of racist psychos on the Internet...
Edit: Looking at the perpetrators, they seem to look as vile as the thoughts that run through their heads.
Angry_Aguri: Interestingly enough, the Buffalo shooter is a diehard Bernie supporter, believed in banning all guns, and is a radical socialist.
DooDooDistributions: Proof?
Angry_Aguri: Read the manifesto, if you can find a place it hasn’t been deleted from yet
The copy on Google Docs I read got flagged by the site for “offensive content” (which it is, to be fair), then promptly deleted. I believe the section in question was on page 9.
I know Donut Operator has/had a copy that he’s going to use in his breakdown of the incident. Maybe ask him if you can download it.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1652639849 | 1652726203 | t3_uqces2 | t5_2to41 | 39 | VocaloidFeuvre: TIFU by switching seats to look out of the plane before landing
This fuckup recently happened, and I'm still regretting it, especially since preventing it was as simple as putting something in my pocket.
So, I was on this Turkish Airlines connecting flight to Istanbul, Turkey, with the final destination being Sofia, Bulgaria. My seat was located in the middle of the plane, with a clear line of sight out of the plane since no one was seated beside the window near me. I was on business class which meant I was almost guaranteed a yes whenever I asked the flight attendant if it was okay to switch seats.
The story started with the plane on its final descent approaching the airport. I think the plane was waiting for its designated time to land because it circled around Istanbul several times before proceeding to the airport. Thanks to that, I saw this amazing view of the city straddling the Bosporus, with some of its landmarks visible to me despite my distance from the window. Wanting to get a clearer look plus take some good photos, I transferred to the window seat, leaving my book, my headphones, my smartphone, and other things on my original seat's side table. I had fun snapping up some shots of Istanbul blissfully unaware of what was about to happen next.
After some time, the plane made its way to the outskirts of Istanbul, where the airport was located. The plane was about to land so I couldn't go back to my seat; not that I really wanted to since I wanted to see the airport when we land.
I was admiring how spacious and organized Istanbul International Airport was from my window, when suddenly, the plane's wheels hit the runway. Inertia took over. My unsecured things assumed that they were still flying and hit the floor, with some of them spilling into the aisle. The thump from their impact with the floor was so loud, I'm sure that everyone in the business class cabin heard it, maybe even the crew. All I could think at that moment was to rush back and clean up the mess; alas, the "fasten seatbelt" sign was still on. Whatever, it's just something embarrassing, nothing serious, I thought. Oh how wrong I was.
Once the plane was safely docked, I immediately took off my seatbelt and swiftly gathered my stuff from the cabin floor. Thankfully, people were busy getting their stuff from the overhead compartments to notice me grubbing around. After a jiffy, I managed to collect my stuff and put them all on my seat. One by one, I started accounting for my stuff. Headphones, check. Book, check. Airplane goodies, check. I then started to realize that I was missing my most valuable possession: my smartphone. I was like, probably it's just in my pocket. Nope, wasn't there. Maybe in my satchel bag? Nope, wasn't there too. I slowly started to dread the possibility that it might have gone under the seats.
You see, this plane's business class seats were built idiotically: with a tiny bit of space between them and the floor such that even the tiniest of fingers cannot fit through the gap, but enough for a thin smartphone to slide right in. This meant that no matter how eager (and desperate) I was to check for my phone under the surrounding seats, I couldn't without the help of the aircraft technician. Not wanting to be seen as a fool, I furiously stuck my fingers under my seat, hoping that my phone didn't slide in far enough. This continued for a while until almost all of the passengers were gone from the plane, leaving me, my pissed-off girlfriend, and my friends alone in the cabin. I had no choice.
I finally asked the nearest flight attendant for help. Initially, she was very accommodating (but concerned) and started helping me look for my phone under the seats. She quickly realized that what we were doing was futile and asked the head attendant to get a technician team to help us with the search. My seat was getting crowded around by the plane's crew; some of which asked their colleague about the incident. It wasn't long before I head sighs and tongue clicks from the crew, who were apparently convinced that my stupidity led to them being detained in the plane with us. Somehow, it was protocol for them to not leave the plane before the last passenger did. Anyways, the technicians quickly got to work and I had the expectation that we'd be out of the plane soon. Again, I was wrong.
Once my seat got completely dismantled by the technicians without any sign of my phone, the plane crew promptly left the scene without any word, leaving what I think was the head of the ground crew with me and my group. The minutes slowly turned into an hour; after what seemed like an eternity, the ground crew head sent us off the plane, telling my girlfriend (not me) in a strict tone that they'll leave the phone with their Lost and Found office after they've found it. To make things worse, he never gave us directions to the Lost and Found office. Since this was a connecting flight, I only had 6 hours (basically the entirety of my layover) to find this office. Oh well, that should be ample time to retrieve my phone and enjoy the business lounge, right? Again, for the third time, I was wrong.
I had no choice but to stick closely to my girlfriend and my friends or risk getting lost. I decided to wait for three more hours before going to the Lost and Found desk just in case they took longer to find my phone.
The business lounge was really nice. It served hot, delicious food cooked by professional chefs. It had shelves of different varieties of drinks. It even had this cool VR tour of some of Istanbul's most notable places, inspired by Hezârfen Ahmed Çelebi, reportedly the first man to achieve unpowered flight. Fortunately, experiencing the lounge's tastes and sights put me into a level-headed mood. Unfortunately, it took away precious time that I could have used to find the Lost and Found office. In an airport as huge and hostile as Istanbul International Airport, even three hours is not enough to find a small corner office.
It took me 30 mins to find the airport's Lost and Found office. It was a bummer when I was informed that in my case, I needed to find the Turkish Airlines' Lost and Found office. There were no signs whatsoever to this particular office. I asked help from the nearest Turkish Airlines booth. They told me it was near the passport control gates.
The corridor where the passport control gates were had a lot of booths and offices, but I didn't find the Lost and Found office there. I went back to the Turkish Airlines booth to clarify if they gave me the exact location. They told me it was beside the passport control gates. I tried asking each booth beside the passport control gates just in case they were the Lost and Found office; that's when I found out from a security guard near the passport control queues that the office was behind the gates, and I had to pass through passport control so that I could get to it.
I was screwed. I didn't have the proper documents to pass passport control. I only had a Bulgarian visa which the guard said wasn't enough to let me through. I made a last-ditch attempt to get someone from the Turkish Airlines booth to get the phone for me, but they weren't considerate enough to bother and refused. Maybe being in business class doesn't excuse stupidity for them. Since it was almost time for the flight to Sofia, I had no choice but to abandon my search for the Lost and Found office.
I felt depressed on our way to our next flight. I've never lost a phone or something valuable like that before this event. When we were boarding the plane to Sofia, I had this faint hope that someone from the Lost and Found office was waiting there to return my phone. It didn't take long for that hope to fade away; roughly thirty minutes after boarding, the plane took off, leaving Istanbul Airport and my phone behind.
TL;DR: TIFU by switching plane seats to take pictures from the window side without securing my phone in my pocket before landing. Phone went missing under business class seats, technicians had to dismantle seats, but didn't find phone. Told to get phone from Lost and Found office, but wasn't able to get to the office. Had to leave phone in Istanbul because I was in a connecting flight.
Ok-Organization-2767: How rough was the landing? I have been on roller coasters inverted and not lost my phone. You should like a great travel partner
VocaloidFeuvre: I guess rough enough to knock my stuff off the seat-side table. Probably one of the roughest landings I've experienced. I don't fly that often though.
I believe you not losing your phone on roller coasters, but I betcha you had it in your pocket. Mine wasn't
| 3 | 13 | |
1652654828 | 1652741231 | t3_uqhlta | t5_2to41 | 12,709 | Emeri5: TIFU by accidentally getting one of my 4 year old triplets drunk at the movie theatre
So, we have triplets, and I’ve been trying to get them out in the world after denning for 4 years. We went for a bike ride, had a huge lunch after and then headed straight to the theatre to finish the day. I love to get a half bottle of wine when we go to the movies, it’s my treat. Well this time out I was by myself because my spouse wanted some kid-free time. Normally I get a red wine but this time, it was so hot out and we had just come from the park, I got a white. Yes they serve alcohol at the movie theaters here, it’s perfectly normal just like a Restaurant. The thing is, with the wine they give you the same cup as the water cups. I had 2 kids on my left and 1 on my right. Sure enough, because it was hot my kids asked for water so I pass them a cup and pour them some from the big water-bottle I had brought with me - having them carry full cups of water from the concession to the theater is a disaster in motion otherwise.
Movie started, I poured my first glass of wine, had a couple generous sips and settled in.
Well very soon the triplets were all real thirsty and bouncing in their seats and drank a half a glass of their water at least.
A little time went by and the kid on my right also needed some things, water, popcorn, couldn’t figure out how to recline his chair and was playing “the floor is lava” in the row seating of the theatre so I was distracted for a minute or two.
I came back (I hadn’t left my chair, I was bribing my son with pop corn and treats to move back over here. That took a minute or two. Definitely less than 3 minutes), finally, *was sitting* in my chair ready to enjoy some more wine and saw my daughters glass was empty, poured her more water, sighed and took the second moment I had in about 15 minutes to take a sip of my glass.
It was water. Not wine.
It took me a minute to realize what had happened. My youngest and smallest triplet had clearly drank at least a half a glass of wine and drained what I had left after a first heavy pour and a couple sips.
Well for the rest of the movie she was very huggy, giggly and I think dizzy. She remained awake the whole time. My other daughter smacked her on the arm and the drunk one threatened to turn the other into a frog.
Movie ended, she made it! But soon as we were buckling up in the van she nodded off.
Oh, memories.
TL;DR I left my cup of white wine (on my chair table, right next to me) for a few SECONDS, sorry not minutes, next to a cup of water and came back to find my wine had been fully consumed by one of the other 4 year old triplets.
**second edit**. At no point did I leave my seat or drink un attended. Both my daughters water cup and Mine were on my chair-table. I was looking to the right but sitting right there. I would have noticed a beer can in her hands but the white wine was indistinguishable.
**Update 5** This sub isn’t “today I did a woopsie”. This is a TIFU from start to finish. Not one part of this story is not a F up. Enjoy my egregiously irresponsible parenting story and feel free to share yours. Also people seem to be really concerned about how much I had to eat first. Right before we walked into the theatre we had: 2 giant slices of pizza, nearly a pound of fruits, edamame, cucumbers, some soda with a lot of water, olives and other items. We had plenty to eat first. At no point was I intoxicated, even slightly, can’t say the same for the child though…
**edit**. very interesting polarization on this one. I wonder what the graph would look like or if someone corroborated age with the spirit of the comment. Anyways, this is a story that’s told in good faith. We have 5 kids, the older ones have developed into wonderful and respectful people who enjoy living in a free country. I wish you all the best and if this story offends you I apologize.
**
**update**. ‘This post is a couple hours old now and I’m getting reported to Reddit and threatened to have CPS called on me. Here’s what you people need to do. Go to the movie theatre and call CPS on every adult that orders a drink with their kids present. Then go to the restaurants and do the same - any adult that drinks in the presence of their children at a restaurant, immediately call CPS. You’ll be a hero Karen, an absolute Hero!
**
**second update**. I just got murdered so hard by either an Aussie or an Englishman and it’s made my night. Thank you sir. You are hilarious. He goes “all these e people ripping you for alcohol, I’m not going to do that, but I am going to rip you for being a 215 pound male and your drink of choice happens to be a sweet white wine”
**third update** imagine the horror on these peoples faces when parents take their kids out to dinner and order a cocktail or glass of wine and then drive their family home after 1-2 drinks in a 2 hour span! Why CPS doesn’t just camp outside of establishments and bust all the terribly irresponsible parents is just beyond me!
**fourth update** people are so soft! I had no idea! No, I’m not taking this post down, ever. There is nothing wrong here. You people need to seriously reevaluate yourselves and your shaming. Have you never been in a public place where there are children, parents and some alcohol being served? Restaurants, fairs, movie theatre’s, entertainment venues, sporting events. Seriously people, you need a therapist to deal with your issues if you think I’ve done anything dangerous or illegal or morally wrong here. The real FU here is what I was drinking, not how much. Good grief 😂
amIhighbro: You shouldn’t drink and drive with kids in the car. That’s the only issue I have. Besides that, accidents happen.
Emeri5: Ok so I guess you have a problem with nearly anyone that takes their kids to a baseball game and has a beer?
amIhighbro: If getting into an accident and potentially killing yourself/your kids or losing them is a risk you’re willing to take, that’s on you.
They shouldn’t be put at risk based on your behavior though. How much did you drink?
Yara_Flor: How much would a beer in the first inning effect a person after 3 hours of a baseball game?
amIhighbro: You’re making assumptions.
Yara_Flor: Yes.
Let’s assume that a 200 LB man drinks a beer in the first inning of a Dodgers-Padres game. They are sitting off the first base line of petco field.
How much would that beer affect that man after three hours of game time?
amIhighbro: This is a woman, who never stated how much she drank. She did say first glass, hinting at the fact there’d be more. Lower body mass, higher ABV drink, more consumed.
She also drove home with three children in the car.
If you think that is any way relatable, you’re an idiot.
Yara_Flor: This is a self admitted 215 LB man.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uqhlta/tifu_by_accidentally_getting_one_of_my_4_year_old/i8tbwpf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Also Said they had two glasses of wine. (That’s what a half bottle means)
Also, why can’t you answer the question about the baseball game?
amIhighbro: Oh, didn’t see they were a man. I’ll admit i’m wrong there.
Nor did I see the update. How many fl. oz though? That’s what matters. Theaters have cups ranging from 12 to 44+ oz.
Because it’s apples to oranges with regards to ABV. I think if you’re planning on driving you should severely limit your alcohol consumption. If you have kids with you, you shouldn’t drink at all.
Yara_Flor: So, you would say:
“If you’re with your kids, a 215 LB man shouldn’t have a beer in the first inning of a baseball game”?
amIhighbro: If you’re with your kids, you shouldn’t drink over the legal limit and drive with them in the car.
Yara_Flor: That’s not what I asked.
Maybe you didn’t understand the question.
Do you think it is alright for a 200 LB dude to have a beer in the first inning of a baseball game with his kids and drive home after the 3 hour game?
amIhighbro: You asked if that’s something i’d say. I responded with something i’d say. Perhaps you didn’t understand the answer.
The ABV isn’t comparable between that and wine. Apples to oranges.
Not to mention baseball games are considerably longer. Apples to oranges.
Yara_Flor: So, you won’t answer the question, curious.
amIhighbro: Once again, it is apples to oranges. There’s no need.
Yara_Flor: Well, I’ll answer for you.
According to science, where would be no impact of a man driving who consuming a beer in the first inning of a baseball game and drove home later.
This way if people come across our thread in the future, they will know the answer
amIhighbro: They’ll also know that there is no comparison and it’s almost as if you’re talking to yourself. Movies are on average, 1.5 hours. Baseball games are over 3 hours. A beer is around 3-5% abv and wine is from 11-15% abv. Half the time and more than double the alcohol content.
‘According to science’.
Yara_Flor: Of course. Thank you.
Regardless, you’re failure to answer a question forced me to do so on your behalf.
amIhighbro: There shouldn’t be the need to answer a completely unrelated question.
You weren’t forced to do anything. You did it to attempt to show your imaginary audience that I have no point.
Yara_Flor: Yes, thank you for your follow up. You’re absolutely correct. The future audience will also take note.
amIhighbro: That an unrelated question needs no response? You’re brighter than I first thought.
Yara_Flor: Instead of underestimateing me, maybe next time you’ll estimate me.
| 23 | 552.565217 | |
1652655227 | 1652721037 | t3_uqhqa2 | t5_2to41 | 300 | SnooPineapples4636: TIFU by forgetting to pay the parking tax at my local mall
Short background: I recently got my drivers license and went alone to the mall for the first time. It was the 4th time I was driving.
So I went shopping for a few hours at the local mall and forgot to check the ticket that you receive when you enter the parking area to see if I overstayed the free hour.
I get in my car, drive to the exit and scan my ticket just to see that I have to pay \~$0.5, I take out my phone and try to pay with Apple Pay. No success. I take out my credit card and try it. No success either. The contactless reader was dead and the device kept telling me to "insert cash to pay". I'm like "fine, lemme check my wallet" and take out \~$0.5 but the slit for the money is filled with bubblegum and gunk.
I exit the car, go to the driver behind me (there was already a queue of 10 cars behind me) and ask him what to do, he tells me that at the end of the parking lot there is an ATM-like machine where I can charge this ticket.
I ran as fast as I could as I kept seeing more and more cars queueing behind me. I get to the ATM, insert my ticket, pay, get back to the car and scan it again. Horror, the ticket was "used" and I had to pay \~$20 to get my car removed from the parking lot. I get out of the car (the queue was almost 50 cars long) as I felt the look of shame from all the drivers as I ran again to the ATM looking for a security agent. He takes my ticket and tells me to get back to the car so I start running again. By this time I was soaking wet, breathing heavily and ashamed of what I did. I get in the car and the barrier rises.
I drive out with all my windows rolled down, no music, no GPS thinking of how much of an idiot I am and the delay I caused for so many people just to miss a few turns and transform a 15 min trip back home into a 30 min one.
TL;DR I forgot to pay the mall's parking tax and I created a 50 car long queue in a less than 100 parking spots lot for at least 15 minutes.
dbearco: Can I rewrite the story for you?
You were completely prepared to pay and make this entire thing happen. The crummy operation of the parking lot led to them delaying a lot of people who may have blamed you for the delay. It’s really obnoxious that the parking lot is so poorly run when you’re so competent. Good job dealing with that on only your fourth drive!
SnooPineapples4636: That...that actually sounds better and closer to reality. I didn't think of it this way, I was just ashamed of forgetting to pay my parking tax and having so many people wait for me.
Nandabun: You're young, and not responsible for poor management and shit infrastructure.
You will be later in life tho, so vote!
| 4 | 75 | |
1652655608 | 1652656055 | t3_uqhuf9 | t5_2to41 | 55 | a17yearoldidiot: TIFU by kissing my crush on the cheek
So, back in October of 2021, I got a job working at a fast food place which the name isn't of any importance.
Anyways, I can't remember exactly what day but I met this cute girl who works there around the time I started working. I'll call her Lily. At first when I met Lily, I thought she was funny and sweet but nothing at first made me like her in "that" way.
Soon, I'm not sure what it was but if I had to guess it was her kindness, humor and just general sweet personality that made my feelings grow for her. The thing is, I'm 17 and shes 22 and has a son. I don't know why my head was ok with this but obviously nothing was gonna happen and I knew that. Now she knew and so did nearly everyone who works there and they all thought it was funny and cute even Lily.
Now, cut to today I was working a 8 hour shift. From 16:00 till 22:00 (UK Time) and for the first hour Lily wasn't there because she was supposed to come at 17:00 which she did. Everything was ok as usual, we'd chat, joke around (I'm the funny one out of the crew) and just goof around. Now, it was time for me to leave and so I clocked out and grabbed my jacket. When I passed Lily, I had this idea which in my mind seemed funny and cute and that was give her a kiss on the cheek then I left.
Whilst I was walking home, something was then telling me that it was a horrible mistake and it was stupid which turned out to be right. I got a message from her on snapchat. She told me that what I did was not cool, that she would be telling her boyfriend what happened and to never speak to her again or come near her. I didn't know she had a boyfriend because we never talked about it. I obviously knew she had a son because I've met him many times but I didn't know this.
I did text back telling her that I was sorry and that it was a stupid idiotic idea and that I respect her wishes. Then a guy who was working the same shift at me but he stays an extra hour texted me laughing about it. He said and he and the manager thought it was just all a joke and just for giggles. But I wasn't happy. Not of what happened or that Lily told me to basically never speak to her again but I was not happy with myself.
I texted my manager explaining everything. I don't know if Lily told her already but I wanted to tell her myself as well basically to take responsibility and to tell her that if there is anything that needs doing to resolve this then I'll do it. I'm not sure what's going to happen now but right now I'm devastated at myself. I just feel like an absolute idiot and all I wanna do right now is just bang my head on the wall till its bloody.
So yeah, TIFU big time!
TL;DR: I idiotically kissed my crush at work on the cheek who is 22 and has a son whilst I'm 17. She freaked out saying I took it too far and is apparently telling her boyfriend who I didn't know she had what happened. She doesn't want me near her or to speak to her. She might've told my manager already but I texted her already and am waiting for her reply. Might lose my job.
Adorable_Design2116: yikes
a17yearoldidiot: Yep...
| 3 | 18.333333 | |
1652656509 | 1652709172 | t3_uqi4gd | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by panicking and tearfully calling on reception after hours because I thought I heard a mouse
[deleted]
thetoiletslayer: Just make sure you leave a good review for the hotel!
justanotherbb: Bloody infested.
DramaticSentence2533: Fanta Infested.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1652659792 | 1652743994 | t3_uqj43p | t5_2to41 | 84 | No-Lemon5740: TIFU by leaving a girl in my room unattended
Context : This happened the day after easter. This girl is basically my soon to be stepsister (15). She lives with her dad, her boyfriend was also allowed over. Her mom lives with us.
Once her mom was finished picking her up and they arrived I didn’t come down right away because I was busy play GTA 5. When i was done I came down and greeted them and they came up into my room. I switched off of GTA to Forza. They were sitting on my bed and I got called downstairs for something. (probably the trash or the dishes) When I came back upstairs my controller was moved and all I thought was her boyfriend may have drove around a little or just looked at my controller. Later her mom took them back around 5:30 6 O’clock
The next day when I woke up for school I found it odd that I couldn’t find my AirPods. So I did what any reasonable person would do that was in a rush and used find my iPhone to track them. They were at her house so I thought they were just left in the car but i wasn’t in the car I was on the game. This caused me to look wt the time and it said last seen Yesterday at 10:31 PM. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she has AirPod Pros and I had Gen 3’s. They look extremely similar until you open them.
So I called her and asked if she grabbed them and she said no. So there stolen I thought. I activated lost mode and I presume she threw them out of the bus the next day because they were on the side of the road the next day.
Now as of May 15 some told me she told another girl she did steal them but that girl it’s t the most reliable. I’ve been no contact since they were stolen. What should I do?
TLDR: I went down stairs when my soon to be stepsister was in my room and she stole my airpods. What should I do?
EmbarrassedHelp: I would wonder if she stole anything else while she was there.
No-Lemon5740: i don’t think so. good thing she didn’t grab the box on my bed full of money
Brewster101: Get a bank account man....
No-Lemon5740: if i put it in a bank acc i can’t use it for a few years
| 5 | 16.8 | |
1652659400 | 1652785889 | t3_uqiztu | t5_2to41 | 32 | mosin40: TIFU by getting phished
This happened today, a couple of hours ago.
I was playing some games on my pc when suddenly i got dm’ed on discord. It was for mod application, clicked the link which prompted me to site that looked like discord, entered credentials and account got compromised… big mistake.
After realizing what i’ve done, i’ve panicked. Tried reseting pw, but was futile. Hacker changed the 2fa that was tied to the account, while panicking, they stole $20 worth of nitro gift (discord subscription) before i was able to regain my composure and blocked the card i had linked to the account.
Usually i’m very careful with this kind of stuff, so just block or ignore dms from unknown senders.
Tl;dr: got phished, lost discord account, hacker stole $20 worth of discord nitro gifts.
Edit: got account back.
Spike2795: F
mosin40: Yup, F. At least i’ve acted fast and blocked my card. Already recovered the phished account.
Spike2795: That’s good.
| 4 | 8 | |
1652660685 | 1652661329 | t3_uqjdkh | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by forcible giving myself cocaine withdrawal so I would never do coke (or any other substances) ever again
[deleted]
Djangasdad: You’re not going to get withdrawals after 1g of coke
Insane212: 1000x this 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1652661666 | 1652744456 | t3_uqjns8 | t5_2to41 | 27 | Spiritual_Baby_5608: TIFU by making a small comment to my wife about her hot friend
I love my wife, I care about her, blah blah blah
I fucked up majorly. My wife was meeting up with her friends and I tagged along. My wife is not really the jealous type so I was surprised when she asked me later that night why I was being so friendly to Sara, a friend we hadn't seen recently.
Sara and I have a kind of history. In college, we had the same class and I developed a crush on her. But she's absolutely gorgeous and way out of my league so I never got up the courage to ask her out. When she asked me if I wanted to meet a friend of hers for a date, I said yes. That was my wife. She was funny and very smart and we hit it off. I never bothered to tell her about our history. The past is past right?
I was drunk and this is the tifu. I confessed how I had a crush on Sara but knew she would never get with me. I then said we should thank Sara for bringing us together and some other stuff. I thought she would laugh it off and we'd move on, but she. was. furious.
She said in this angry whisper that everyone saw my behavior and that I was disrespectful for telling her this and that she had never crossed any boundaries with my friends and that this was the last straw. I (stupidly) told her that she shouldn't find my friends hot because that's gross, and then she just glared at me and kicked me out of bed. She said she was seriously considering separating.
Saturday, the boys came over and a recent friend of a friend, Josh, who's always been kinda touchy with her, started doing his whole thing and this time she just let him do whatever.
So my wife might cheat on me because of one drunken comment.
TL;DR my wife is mad at me because I told her I have a crush on her friend
therenegadegoose: A few things:
OP, if your only defense in the comments is “didn’t know my wife would be so childish”, then you aren’t taking responsibility for your part. No woman wants to hear that her husband has/had a crush on a friend who she still talks to— now she’s going to rethink every single interaction between you and Sara, and she’ll probably wonder for a very long time whether or not you settled for her since you couldn’t ask out Sara. She’s also comparing herself to Sara, I’d imagine, and that’s just a shitty feeling.
However. Her behavior in response with your friend Josh is gross— it’s not okay, and you both should probably reevaluate your friend circles. She shouldn’t be allowing him to touch her. (Though I have to wonder— if this is a continuous problem with Josh then why the FUCK are you still friends with him?)
Seek couple’s counseling, dude. Healthy adults don’t act this way.
Spiritual_Baby_5608: Sara and I are just friends. She was friends with my wife first. We wouldn't really be compatible.
Josh's a great guy. It's not anything inappropriate, he just likes to playfully flirt with my wife, calling her beautiful and shit, saying he wants to be her sugar baby. It's not serious and I know he doesn't mean anything by it. It doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that my wife's not shutting it down like she used to
therenegadegoose: Dude. You’re missing the point by a fucking mile. Your wife is feeling insecure, and she’s lashing out by accepting another man’s attention to make you feel insecure too.
Y’all are not acting like healthy, mature adults. I’ll say it again— seek counseling.
Spiritual_Baby_5608: There's no reason for her to be insecure. we're married for godsake
MeatShield12: There's this thing called "marriage counseling" you may want to look into. It is specifically for married couples..... who need counseling.
Spiritual_Baby_5608: It's not that big a deal. my wife will get over it
MeatShield12: Y'all REALLY need therapy if you're blowing off your wife flirting with your friends. Or maybe a divorce lawyer, but that is inevitable.
Inigogoboots: I am a little disappointed in OP posting here, knowing he fucked up, and then doubling down when people are honestly trying to help by marginalizing the fuck up saying it wasnt that bad, and she'll get over it, because theyre married for godsake. Like marriages dont end and everything gets worked out without having to put any effort or work into it lol.
For real OP, really evaluate your scenario, take a real step back. If she is considering thinking being separated beause of this. Let me clarify, it i NOT because of THIS, thats why she said it was the last straw right? This is a long continuation of her feeling wanted, marginalized and overlooked because you're married for godsake, what could go wrong?
Honestly, if you cant grow with her, and work it out and become a better man.
I hope she finds a better man who is willing to grow with her, and treat her right, and actually live a life with her, instead of just existing in one with her.
MeatShield12: OP's dismissive attitude (of his wife, his marriage, his friends hitting on his wife) is DRIVING her to cheat on him, I guarantee it. From what OP says in his post, she is already eyeing up Josh for some revenge s&x.
| 10 | 2.7 | |
1652661793 | 1652662109 | t3_uqjp27 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking wayyy too much LSD at once
[removed]
smelly38838r8r9: Fucking bleach what
smelly38838r8r9: Fr are u okay? Why are you taking uppers and psychedelics with bleach
| 3 | 1 | |
1652661044 | 1652735455 | t3_uqjhat | t5_2to41 | 29,097 | rbrock3509: TIFU by going in my wife's purse without asking.
TIFU late last night. I heard my wife's phone ringing in her purse. She was already in the bed so I reached in there and got it out to hand to her. When I went to retrieve the phone I also saw some candy in there. So I got the pack of candy out also and ate the small pack of about 11 pieces of Sour Patch Kids. I woke up at about 3:00 a.m. in the morning having to use the bathroom. When I went to go stand up I felt real woozy. I thought this was because I was recently diagnosed with MS and I thought it was a side effect of my MS. I stumbled on to the bathroom and I had to sit on the toilet just the pee.
I get back to the bed and I could not hold a coherent thought in my head. I'm thinking oh my God if MS is causing this confusion there is no way I can live like this. My mind is steady racing I wake my wife up and tell her how I feel. I tell her If I don't wake up or if I go crazy tell my kids I love them. She ask me if I want to go to the ER. I said no cause my Dad suffers from panic attacks and anxiety. He goes to the ER twice a week because of it. I was thinking maybe I might just be having a panic attack. I was like my wife has good insurance on me so if I die they'll be taken care of.
I finally fall back asleep. My wife's wakes up to go to work the next morning. She asks does she need to call in work and take me to Dr. I told her no. She then walks to my side of the bed and sees the empty candy wrapper. Then she asks me "did you eat my candy". I get a good look at the candy wrapper she's holding up since all the lights are on. I see her holding the empty wrapper of what I thought was Sour Patch Kids Gummies. They were actually edibles called Stoney Patch Kids. Then she starts laughing and says that's what you get for going in my purse without asking me.
TL;DR by going in my wife's purse and eating what I thought was regular sour gummies but were instead edibles called Stoney Patch Kids. The candy I ate had a total of 1000mg THC. I was in bed for 2 days.
Susan_Werner: When Marijuana became legal in Canada, I decided to buy a joint and smoke it. I am 67, an old hippie, so I haven't smoked since the early 70s. The pot back then was full of seeds and bits of branches so smoking a joint by yourself would make you giggle for about an hour or so and that would pretty much be the highlight. So I smoked the whole joint by myself. Do you know how hard it is to Google "can I die from a Marijuana overdose" while you're slowly melting into the sofa? Haven't smoked it since.
Meowgenics: I took a bite out of a 100mg gummy as my introduction and just had a bad time, I had to drive someone later that day and was convinced I was going to have to cancel on them. The 5mg months later was perfect.
bingbangbaez: Who the fuck makes a 100mg gummy? That sounds like the worst time ever.
Edit: stoners trying to explain to me how 100mg is normal while also telling me details that sound like they use way more than the average/normal person (one person describes eating 1000mg WHILE smoking...) sounds like the most stoner thing ever.
Edit2: Seriously though, if you started out with low doses to get high, and now need high doses to feel the same high, maybe look into that.
spacewalk__: people with high tolerance
bingbangbaez: Seems like a serious addiction at that point. Like alcoholics who need 7 shots to feel what most feel after 2 shots.
Edit: giving me examples of debilitating/chronic conditions as use-cases for 100mg gummies only reinforces my view that you're probably seriously addicted to use 100mg gummies without an associated medical reason. If you have a natural tolerance, neat, but if you've built up to those tolerances through regular use, that's literally what addiction does to you. Marijuana use disorder is a real thing, maybe seek help if this is affecting your life.
Edit2: It is concerning how defensive some of the replies to this comment are. Being an addict isn't a moral/character issue, it's a condition that should be treated like any other medical issue.
madpiratebippy: It also depends on what you take them for. You need a higher dose if you’re taking them for seizures or Parkinson’s tremors, or chronic pain, then you do just for fun.
I’m one of the lucky ones who opiates don’t work on so I get the STRONG shit when I have to get surgery because otherwise I basically get surgery awake. Which fuckin bloooooows for the record. And dealing with post op pain with the pills that they know don’t work on you but is the only analgesic strong enough is also a one way trip to suck-vile.
-1KingKRool-: The stuff that they use to put you under for surgery isn’t opiates though.
It’s nitrous oxide or another type of gas, usually fluorinated, afaik.
Cheap_Professor_6492: Yes it is.
-1KingKRool-: Excellent claim, you really dismantled the information I stated.
Cheap_Professor_6492: By saying “afaik”, I assumed you wouldn’t be willing to read, but here’s a source if you’re interested. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1517651/
It’s literally the first thing that came up on google when I asked “is anesthesia an opiate”.
-1KingKRool-: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537013/
Literally the first result when googling “is anesthesia a gas”.
Cheap_Professor_6492: If you read your original comment where you said “the stuff that they use to put you under for surgery isn’t opiates though”, and then read that article, and also read the article you copied, you’ll be able to see that anesthesia *can* be a gas but is not explicitly so.
To be fair I don’t understand most of that shit, but my limited grasp of it is that the gas knocks you out quick, and the opiates *keep* you out, and dull pain. Like if they just used nitrous during a heart surgery you’d probably die.
-1KingKRool-: Opiates typically are used for cardiovascular surgery due to a more limited cardiovascular impact, best as I can recall.
You almost always have some type of gas in conjunction with them though, or other sedatives. Given the OP in the thread didn’t state cardio surgery, that’s what made it strange that they invoked opiates as an anesthetic.
| 14 | 2,078.357143 | |
1652664719 | 1652666977 | t3_uqkk3o | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: tifu by possibly ruining a friendship with someone who i have to see at least 5 times a week and will be working with
[deleted]
shesavillain: So she can’t pay you because it’s illegal but she can tip you and it not be illegal? I don’t understand.
But she went back on something she said she’d help you out with. That’s corny. And I’d back out of working for her or at her store? NTB
PrestigiousFace7109: if someone found out i charged her then they could turn me in to the state board and i would lose my chance at ever getting my license but tipping wouldn’t matter. also we went to the store after i did them and she didn’t offer to pay for my $10 drinks. the only reason the money matters is because i spent $30 on supplies for her lashes and as a fellow esthetician she should understand the importance of that in my opinion
| 3 | 1 | |
1652667648 | 1652668938 | t3_uqlfxc | t5_2to41 | 15 | TJX24: Tifu by giving an awkward hug :(
I 26f went to a past coworkers benefit tonight and had a great time. Sang karaoke and everyone loved it even though my voice was half gone from a previous night of karaoke. After my song, past coworkers sister hugged me and told me I sounded great I thanked her and went on my way back to the table I was sitting at. Come the end of the night I was kinda standing around waiting for the right time to say goodbye to past coworkers sister and when I finally got the chance I said next time she’s doing karaoke (her and her friend do it occasionally I know this bc she told me when I got done singing) to let me know and that it was nice to meet her. I then asked for a hug and gesture it out. She said she liked my shorts I was wearing I said thank you and we hugged but when I was walking out the door I heard her say to her friends “that was the most awkward hug ever”. Now I’m super embarrassed and sad that I screwed up the social interaction. And idk if I should msg her I’m sorry for the awkward hug or pretend I didn’t hear her say that. I really didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable. I’m really upset I did.
TLDR: I’m bad at social interactions and may of given an unwanted hug thinking it was ok bc she had just hugged me an hour before.
DeepFudge9235: Don't beat yourself up, I can understand why you got confused. Best in the future let the other party lead if you are not sure.
TJX24: Thanks. I’ll definitely remember that and keep it in mind. I’ll try not to beat my self up to much but I really feel bad now.
DeepFudge9235: I guarantee they aren't still thinking about it now. Not based on what you provided.
TJX24: I hope not. it’s almost comical how awkward I can be sometimes lol
| 5 | 3 | |
1652667838 | 1652671025 | t3_uqlhxi | t5_2to41 | 115 | slushedice: TIFU by having the nut of my life while simultaneously holding my phone up in bed
So last night I was feeling a bit in the mood to give dear ol’ Richard a handshake before falling asleep, if you know what I mean. So naturally I get in bed and find some raunchy stuff on an NSFW sub on my phone, to help the deed progress along. Standard stuff.
I’ll just preface this by saying I’m 25M and currently living with a 40-something year old gay dude temporarily. He’s a great guy, has done me a lot of favours, and importantly sleeps a few metres away in the next room (he owns the apartment).
So I’m happily going to town, and found a steamy post on an NSFW sub that did the trick. Unfortunately, mid-nut, I drop my phone on my chest. A bit of a mood killer but no big deal I thought, I’ll just get up to clean up and all will be fine. Oh how I couldn’t have been so wrong.
I pick up my phone and notice the system share screen had popped up. Now I was using the Apollo Reddit client for iPhone (r/apolloapp), which [handily places a share button atop every image that you’re viewing](https://i.imgur.com/tgG2BM1.jpg). Including the raunchy one I had open. “Close call,” I thought to myself; this had happened before with no consequences. Now by default, iOS likes to provide sharing suggestions on this screen, [front and centre to make it really nice and easy for you](https://i.imgur.com/sg0Jpm3.jpg).
Some of the suggestions offered included: my best friend, ex girlfriend, work colleagues via Slack, and yes, my housemate. And because he was awake, a few metres away, and using his phone at the time, my phone presented the one-tap option to AirDrop him as the prime button in that screen, complete with a fucking directional compass towards him and everything. So. Fucking. Helpful.
Not realising what may have just happened, I check the Slack and Messages apps to verify that I hadn’t sent it inadvertently to anybody (especially to my boss). Satisfied that I had done no damage, I put my phone down and try to fall asleep.
Now, at this point, I get this feeling to just double check that nobody at work received this picture. Just in case I had missed someone, you know? Cause I really wouldn’t want anybody else to see this shit. And then I noticed a text from my housemate. All my eyes saw were the words “airdrop request” and I went into full hyperventilating panic mode.
Yeah, turns out I must have tapped this guys name with my finger when I picked up my phone after having the nut of my life. It immediately sent the picture in question to him, without confirmation, including the image preview (since we’re mutual contacts).
This morning I get another text saying “So thanks for the picture last night? But not really my thing since I’m gay. I’m back later so we can have a chat about it then”
I still have seven more weeks left living with this guy. I have no idea how to face him ever again.
I have now learned you can turn this one-tap sharing feature off system wide. [Please do this if you’re at risk like I was.](https://i.imgur.com/mOKUf8Z.jpg)
help I’ve never felt embarrassment like this before, fml
___
TLDR: jerked off a bit too hard late last night, accidentally dropped my phone on my chest, and sent a raunchy NSFW pic to my gay housemate/landlord.
gayforaliens1701: Aw, just tell him it was a mistake and hopefully he doesn’t give you too hard a time. Gay men are not usually strangers to hardcore porn; when he knows it was an embarrassing mistake I would hope he would laugh it off with you and let it go. I hate those share suggestions—when I’m saving porn pics to my phone I’d love not to have to scroll past a picture of my mom and a suggestion I text this image to her, thanks.
slushedice: Yeah I’m hopeful, but yeah we’ve never really had an encounter like this before. If not I might just go and check myself into the local crematorium. Guess I’ll find out in a few hours 🙃
| 3 | 38.333333 | |
1652669862 | 1652672798 | t3_uqm376 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU when I got an erection at the dermatologist’s office
[deleted]
peterpeterpeterrr: Wtf did I just read
sklarian: I don't know he deleted it 😕
ViewedFromi3WM: yup missed it
| 4 | 1 | |
1652670560 | 1652743497 | t3_uqmao4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | alskdjfhrf: TIFU by getting black out drunk and pressuring my partner into sex then hurting myself bc they didnt want to
[removed]
GamerGrunt: I can tell you as a former blackout drinker myself it's not going to get better. Being honest with yourself is a great first step. If you don't want to hurt anyone else you know what you need to do.
BushyAbsolutely: As a current blackout drinker, this kinda scares me. I've definitely done some stupid stuff I regret and would never dream of doing sober, and you're absolutely right being honest with ones self and holding ones self accountable is what to do.
I used to lie to myself all the time "I don't have a drinking problem, I hardly ever drink". "I'll just not drink too much this time, just a few beers". Literally couldn't tell you the last time I've had social drinks and not ended up blacking out.
It's like I genuinely can't just sit chill with just a couple as soon as I start I'll literally not stop till I drop and quitting alcohol altogether is probably the best thing for people like me our actions don't just affect us but people around us.
GamerGrunt: This sounds exactly like me, dude. Yeah, sometimes it wasn't bad and you're funny and gregarious and happy go lucky, but that other asshole is always waiting for us to slip up with one too many. I just got tired of the regret, the shame, and the dark moods. I gave it up and not I'm the one in control!
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1652670483 | 1652679666 | t3_uqm9vj | t5_2to41 | 19 | OldDominionBUBear: TIFU by giving a family advice on how to clean mud off
Honestly happened last year but it’s constantly ate me alive. My on again off again gf’s family friends were at a party at my gf’s family’s house that involved a scavenger hunt. I have known the other family for years and we all like each other but was given camera duty since I’m not considered a child and it was meant for middle schoolers. For whatever reason I was in one of those moods where you joke around a lot, probably because I was feeding off of the fun since I had to take pictures of it all. That’ll come back around in a bit.
Around halfway through it started drizzling so everyone went inside and the kids were a bit bummed about not finishing the hunt (my on/off gf’s family put *serious* cash in the things they hid) so there was a bit of a push by the teens to continue on. Everyone was fine with it since I not shoes would probably get wet until naturally the drizzle became a downpour as per usual for spring storms and that pretty much put an end to it all.
I’m my joking mood I said why not just let them loose to find it all to which the reply was that they’d get all muddy. Now here’s the start of the brutal part. My on/off gf’s family has a swimming pool in their pretty spacious backyard and being teenager I assumed they knew how to swim so I just joked and said “hey if they get too muddy we can just have them jump in the pool to wash off.”
When I said that it’s like I was in space and someone hit the airlock and vented out all the atmosphere. The oldest one (around my age and not participating) looked like I had just shot his dog and the other three had a horrified look as well. Almost immediately my on/off gif pulled me away and said “babe, what the fuck are you thinking?” Not knowing what the hell was going on I was obviously confused and asked her what was going on. Wellll little did I know that a few years before I met the family friends they had a child drown in a pool while they were in the house and couldn’t hear it. So I accidentally made a joke about having the kids jump in the pool to wash off after they had already had a sibling drown years earlier.
Of course it shook the hell out of me and I basically stayed away from everyone for a hour or so but I finally got enough courage to go up to them all and apologize. They all at least seemed understanding that I didn’t know and whatnot but I obviously felt like I accidentally crossed a bride I should never have crossed. They are still nice to me but I still think they will always remember that.
TLDR: I jokingly told a family of teens that were going to get muddy during a scavenger hunt to go jump in the pool to clean off, not knowing that they had a sibling drown in a pool just a few years before I met them.
candiedbunion69: I mean, it’s pretty weird to assume that a relative stranger knows stuff like that.
untrustworthycrow: Or that teenagers jumping in a pool = the same thing as some idiot toddler who finds its way in and can’t get out.
OldDominionBUBear: Nah it was a 9y/o who died. Apparently they had a pool but didn’t teach them how to swim.
untrustworthycrow: Oh, wow. That’s really unfortunate. I can see why that would bring up the memory. I’m surprised they keep the pool…
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1652671481 | 1652725549 | t3_uqmk4s | t5_2to41 | 22 | dramignophyte: TIFU by dealing with ingrown nails poorly as a child and causing my entire left leg to have all but around five muscles completely atrophied my entire life and I had literally no idea for 28 years.
[removed]
IronAirballoon: So, a couple of hours ago I was reading the part about having pain to the touch and I realised I have that. And subsequently, that it’s not a normal thing to have. And also it’s just my right upper arm. It’s not something I ever thought about before (weird, I know).So anyway, I started massaging it. And it is gone! But, not just has that sensitivity disappeared, my shoulder is no longer refusing to sit where it should. It has moved to it’s natural position. By itself. Exercises never helped much, and now it’s suddenly so much better. Words cannot express… thank you, thank you, thank you so much for taking the time to write your story down.
Also, I’m so happy for you! I can’t even imagine how much of a difference this must be for you, but I’m sure it’s amazing.
dramignophyte: Thats awesome! This is literally why I wrote this despite knowing it would come off as strange and nonsense to most people. I knew that anyone experiencing similar issues may go "wait a minute..." I know it's all over but the body is a massive chain reaction. Avoiding putting pressure in one place due to pain can cause problems on the opposite side of your body. Hopefully your pain ends there but now try working in flexing the muscle that hurt. A lot of the time it hurts because its flexed permanently and any attempt to unflex it or move it causes reactive pain, often times long after the actual cause of the pain is long gone. A log of my bif breakthroughs came when I leaned into the pain by flexing that spot, only to realize that it would have a big release after and I could flex a muscle on like the opposite side of my ankle, which would pull my ankle into better alignment (my ankle sucked, it was pretty much dislocated and just glued together by calcium deposit. My clave pain was really hard because my calve muscle controls some toe movements and ankle movements. But because it couldn't release it was basically permanently charlie horsed/cramped. Even now I am not fully released deep in my left calve muscle. But it's constant work.
So what I mean is I am so glad to see your response! But keep in mind, sometimes finding one problem leads to more. Ideally you are set but hopefully you don't find that should sitting oddly gave you an uneven movement patter causing a lockup in your back or hip. I found pain points got best results from massage, and working on flexing that region. The problem is if you start at the wrong part of the chain its like untying a knott but starting in the middle of the knott first. So if you have a tendon issue caused by one place, then flexing the wrong area will inflame the tendon causing issues. Ultimately I should have seen a doctor early but every week I was like "oh man, I finally fixed it!" It wasn't until January that I realized placing pressure on the tips of my toes caused a ton of pain.
So thats my best advice there. If it seems like its foxed and everything is good now then thats amazing in itself! I know I knew this for 10 years and didn't address the pin prick like pain of touching very specific points on my hips (where my tendon was stuck from moving around the hip causing it the have a lit of tension right there (it may be a muscle at that spot but it was stuck behind the hip bone)). So this may be the first in a chain and if thats the case you may wanna talk to your doc about it to save some time. But then again, my doctors never checked my feet.
IronAirballoon: Thanks for all your advice! I will definitely keep working on the muscle. It seems like it may actually have been the root cause, but I will keep an eye out for other problems. Thank you so much!
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1652673894 | 1652675242 | t3_uqn86p | t5_2to41 | 16 | ivanconsuegra: TIFU By forgetting teacher's day
Just some hours ago. My wife is an elementary school teacher, and today is teacher's day. She always likes to make every occasion special and she had expectations on what I have planned for her to celebrate today. I had to work early and when I got back home like at 4pm I just said "Happy teachers day hun" and didn't even buy her anything. Now she is mad at me, specially because is not the first time I make this sort of mistakes... I guess I'm not into surprises, but she loves them.
She just told me that I broke her heart in a thousand pieces and wants to stay away for a while... don't know exactly what does it means, but definitely if I could go back in time, would have stopped by a flower shop at least to get her some roses before coming home.
TL;DR did not prepare anything to celebrate teachers day with my wife, and she is scrolling some airbnbs now to stay away for some time
DickieGreenleaf84: You've got way bigger problems if some minor day of recognition is making her want to sleep elsewhere. I hope you guys have a sit down and discuss what is really going on so you can both be happy again.
ivanconsuegra: Yeah. I guess... Things are not going smoothly lately... she had cancer on 2020 but survived... with some radiation therapy side effects and definitely psychological side effects, but every time I have tried to mention talking to a psychologist, she refuses...
DickieGreenleaf84: Well hope you find something to help her open up with you. Sounds like you very much love her.
| 4 | 4 | |
1652672897 | 1652674274 | t3_uqmxzl | t5_2to41 | 24 | Spirited-Reputation6: TIFU by eating McDonald’s
It was my nephew’s bday today and he thoughtfully ordered me a Big Mac meal. The last time I had McDonald’s was 13yrs ago on a lunch break, I ordered a McDouble took a bite and looked down to discover that there was a blue mesh threaded throughout the beef patty. It was like the mesh that was on top of mop heads (it looks similar to an onion bag). That was the last day I had McDonald’s. After multiple bad experiences and distrust of underpaid folks fixing frozen foods at shitty jobs, I typically don’t eat fast food anymore. So in order to be celebratory and not to disappoint my 7yo nephew I ate the Big Mac and I am regretting bad. My stomach has had an uncomfortable burning since. I was on the toilet within an hour of consumption and back on it now, miserably trying to expel the boiling burger in my stomach from my system for good. This experience just reconfirmed it for me, I will never eat McDonald’s again.
TL;DR TIFU by eating a Big Mac meal and it turned out to be a very unhappy meal :(
ThisIsDadLife: I think you could’ve stopped with the title and it still could’ve been a TIFU. Hope you’re feeling better.
Spirited-Reputation6: You’re right. LoL. Thx for the well wishes but I’m still a moment away from clutching my stomach on the toilet.
| 3 | 8 | |
1652673924 | 1652695351 | t3_uqn8ho | t5_2to41 | 25 | cashwhaler: TIFU by not using the bathroom before I left Olive Garden on my birthday.
I (13M) went to Olive Garden for my birthday dinner and left at around 9:30 PM. , as I was walking out, I felt like I needed to use the bathroom a little bit, but I really don’t like public restrooms so I just thought I would hold it in until we got back to the hotel. We started driving and about 2 minutes in I realized that I had to go in the next 2 minutes or I wouldn’t make it. I told my mom we needed to pull over ASAP but we were on a freeway so she had to wait until there was an exit.
She pulled up to a wiener schnitzel and I ran inside, but before I continue you need to understand how extremely bad I needed to shit, I’ve never had to this bad in my life and I was using all of my strength. I ran to the back and went into the room where both genders bathroom doors were located and saw that the bathroom needed a code but at this point it was too late, I shit myself just behind the door of the bathroom.
When I realized what had happened I stood there in shock and pure terror I looked down and it was dripping down my leg and there was shit on the floor. A minute later I managed to pull out my phone and text my mom what had happened. The whole time I was praying that no one would walk in and see me. She sent my brother (10M) in with a random towel and when he saw me he immediately started laughing, and I don’t blame him, I would have reacted the same way if it were him. I told him that he needed to ask an employee for the bathroom code
. And this is the absolute worst part IMO. One of the employees doesn’t just tell my brother the code, but instead walks in the room I was in and entered the code for me. She didn’t even acknowledge the situation. But I was holding my bottom and a towel at that point and I couldn’t let go to hold the door open, so it closed and then she walked away. I texted my mother to come in and just ask for the code and just the code. She did and I heard her say the code from where I was and quickly entered it.
I walked in the bathroom and spent 30 minutes cleaning myself and the bathroom the best I could. I quickly walked out and went in the car. But at this point I smelled terrible so my mom went to a Walmart, Walgreens, and for some reason they both didn’t have clothes?? As we left Walgreens the urge hit me again. I quickly ran back inside Walgreens and asked for the bathroom but they said they didn’t have one. There was an ell pollo loco near by so I ran to it but it was closed because it was like 10 PM ATP.
I saw a dumpster and knew what had to be done. I ran to the dumpster and did my business. I found an old in n out advertisement thing and wiped with that. (I know, probably not a good choice.) and luckily that was the end of it. Later found out the whole family got food poisoning from a hotel breakfast cafe we had eaten at. But I’m just gonna say that that was not a good ending to my 13th birthday 😂.
TL;DR I shit myself inside of a Weiner schnitzel bathroom because I didn’t use the one at Olive Garden before I left.
implicitexpletives69: on the bright side this happens to all of us about 5 times in our adulthood. Least you only got 4 more of these to go!
OkVolume1: He's only 13. This one doesn't count towards his adult allotment.
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1652676939 | 1652714491 | t3_uqo127 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by picking a college halfway across the country from my girlfriend AND not respecting her boundaries
[deleted]
eidhrmuzz: Ya. My opinion? She wants to break up. Hard truth to hear. But in reality, I’d give it two weeks to a month before the break up once you leave for college. She finds someone who she wants touching her, or you find someone that likes being touched.
People express affection in different ways. Yours might just not be a good match.
And you’re both kids. You’re going to miss out on a lot at college and she’ll miss out on a lot her senior year playing Romeo and Juliet.
Sometimes the cleaner break is better.
Once again, IMHO.
KAM_3O: Yeah this is something we've actually talked about, with her personality being one where she touches people I want to make sure we don't depend on that kind of thing so that when I go to college she doesn't go to someone else
eidhrmuzz: Ok man. Ok. Just….
Just wish i had someone warn me with stuff like this. Could be wrong.. and maybe it’s just something everyone has to go through.. but.. just prepare yourself.
KAM_3O: yeah i know, I've seen the flags, but we try to talk about things and resolve any issues we have when they come up. She's made some bad decisions in her past and this is a result of that to some extent. But this is the first wholesome relationship shes been in and tbh we've been really good for each other. Both of our lives have improved a lot since we started dating
| 5 | 1 | |
1652678085 | 1652719791 | t3_uqobtr | t5_2to41 | 1,019 | Saint_Guillotine: TIFU by thinking a girl was just outgoing
EDIT: got her number, and got invited to a small party at her place. Wish me luck!
Happened just a few hours ago.
Got invited by a friend to come over after work to swim/grill. Her boyfriend came by the store I work at to make sure I was coming over afterwards and told me I definitely didn't wanna miss this one. I thought he was just insinuating that it was gonna be a good day, but now I know that there was a girl there who was looking forward to meeting me and he was trying to give me a subtle heads up.
I show up, and there are a few people I don't know. My friend's boyfriend's brother, his girlfriend, and another girl. Introductions were made, and almost immediately this girl starts taking an interest in me. She was asking all sorts of questions, making lots of eye contact, giving compliments, and just generally responding positively to me. I assumed that she was just really outgoing/curious, and that I was the only person there that she didn't already know.
At one point, after she had already moved her chair to sit next to me, she encouraged me to get up and get some food; I did, and when I went to sit down I noticed that my chair had somehow gotten moved even closer to hers, so that the arms were just about touching, but just chalked it up to my imagination.
We continued to talk, and then eventually she mentioned that she would have to leave soon, and then looked at me. She did this about three times total, and each time I thought "hey, maybe I should ask her for her number before she leaves" not even realizing that was probably the whole reason she kept saying it. Still not sure why I didn't ask, as at this point I was at least somewhat certain she was kind of into me. Part of me assumed that she had to be taken (very pretty, outgoing, and seemingly down to earth = has to have a bf, right?) and that she really was just that outgoing and friendly, even though another part of me knew/suspected that wasn't the case and that I was messing up.
She finally leaves, and as soon as her car pulls away my friends BF asks if I got her #. I sheepishly say no, and him and my friend start clowning me. Saying, "bro we set up the assist!" "You was supposed to close that!" etc. My friend told me that her friend (the girl) had been listening earlier when they called me and had mentioned that my voice was sexy. My friend showed her a picture of me and she apparently liked what she saw, and when my friend started to tell her about me (personality, lifestyle, etc.) she was immediately interested.
Now all I can think of is that "casually explained: is she into you?" video. Good news is I ain't messin around next time I see her. Just gotta figure out how to make that happen asap lol
TLDR: friend of a friend was interested in me. Friend invited me over to meet her but didn't fill me in. She proceeds to do just about all she can to show her interest and repeatedly signals that she wants me to ask her for her number but my dense ass just chalks it up to her being outgoing/friendly.
rayn13: You can still close it. Ask for her number through your friends and say you enjoyed her company and would like to see her again.
Source: ex bf also asked for my number this way
Saint_Guillotine: I found her on fb and was planning on going that route, but I suppose that could work too. I know I personally dont really check my fb messages and/or friend requests often and I am hanging out with them tomorrow anyways. Definitely ain't counting this as a loss yet, just feeling dumb for not picking up the hints.
Any-Confusion-4526: Don't be too down on yourself. We've all made that mistake, once.
rayn13: Speak for yourself, I have made the mistake many times.
The_Damon8r92: I’ve been dating the same woman for almost 11 years and I still don’t know if she’s actually into me or just being nice.
Eulerdice: Poor girl is too nice to break it to you, UGH
| 7 | 145.571429 | |
1652677089 | 1652681051 | t3_uqo2ff | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking tonight's Lunar Eclipse was the start of the apocalypse
[deleted]
LadyManchineel: I couldn’t see the eclipse tonight, because rain.
In 2009 I was working with a girl who claimed to have a bachelors degree. I didn’t know that there was supposed to be a partial lunar eclipse but I had noticed early that morning that the moon looked like it was being eclipsed. A few minutes later someone mentioned the eclipse to her. She was like “Oh yeah, I forgot there was supposed to be an eclipse!” She kept looking toward the sunrise and talking about how she could tell it looked different. Never once looked toward the moon. I didn’t tell her.
nickelchrome2112: That seems rude.
| 3 | 9.666667 | |
1652679312 | 1652680213 | t3_uqomyp | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking through my friends phone
[removed]
Gregorss: Looks like you are jealous of their relationship. You could apologize and say to them that you wanted to know how their relationship is going and you wanted the best for them. If you have a crush on him/her now would be the time to spill it out. Either this goes fantastic or very poorly.
[deleted]: I’m not jealous of their relationship. I don’t even find the person they were talking to attractive. I think I was just curious about it, since we had talked about it before and told me that there were a lot of mixed signals. And my friend keeps mentioning this person every now and then as well which I thinks further adds to my curiosity.
Gregorss: Then you should apologize to your friend and talk about, that your friend talks about that person and doesn't tell you what's the matter. Either way there is no reason to snoop through other people messages. Good luck
[deleted]: Yeah I know, figured that now! And thank you!
| 5 | 0.6 | |
1652681527 | 1652712843 | t3_uqp6fz | t5_2to41 | 51 | boukalele: TIFU by leaving my door open for my kittens while getting ready to slap the salami.
This literally happened just now. Yeah so i adopted two sibling kittens (rescues) a few months ago and spent a lot of time only seeing them when it was chow time or on my mini cam at night when they were most active.
They've made a ton of progress and we are always breaking barriers. Recently they've become not happy about my bedroom door being closed and instead of hearing incessant scratching all night i just keep it open now.
They love chasing each other around the house and i can usually hear them up and down the stairs and in/ out of my spare room where their cat tree and most toys are.
Tonight we had another breakthrough. Just as i laid down, shut the light off, grabbed my phone, and de-shorted myself. They decided to take a detour through my room and one of them did a full speed parkour from the floor to my balls and then down the bed without stopping.
Now this wouldn't normally be such an awful thing, but they're still very skittish about being held in any way and i haven't been able to trim their nails, so it may as well have been a bald eagle.
TLDR: i left my door open while slapping the salami and my cat with untrimmed nails parkoured off my nutsack.
OkVolume1: Might wanna get that looked at. Cats can carry bacteria on their nails.
You do not want an infection there.
boukalele: For sure! this isn't my first rodeo, had cats most of the last 30 years. I always treat immediately and monitor. First time in this sensitive area and hopefully the last. Thanks for looking out though!
| 3 | 17 | |
1652682736 | 1652689055 | t3_uqpgvt | t5_2to41 | 31 | Barlie16: TIFU I deleted all my pictures
Today I woke up to a virus on my phone. I was literally in texting when all the sudden Instagram opened and starting liking posts and then opened my Netflix and tried to add a profile. Scared the crap out of me.
I did a Google and decided a factory reset would probably fix it. Backuped my phone by clicking the backup button my samsung then I click reset. Tried to restore after the reset and all my pictures and videos are gone. Everything. I have lost all my pictures all the way from the beginning of 2021. Honestly I spent all day crying. I am still crying. Turns out you have to backup photos separately. I know it may not seem like a big deal but they were to me. It was pictures I had with my mother on a trip we went on before college, photos with friends, a picture with my now deceased grandmother. It was chronology of my life to this point. I have tried everything and am just so tired. Now it just hurts.
TLDR; I factory reset my phone without a backup and now all my photos are gone.
Update: Woke up today with a clear ready to start damage control. Unfortunately the photos do seem to be lost after using several different data recovery tools. While the photo of my grandmother is gone, in my file search I did find a voice-mail from her two weeks before she died. Most of my friends are helping on my hunt to find photos today. I think it will be OK. Its kinda like a hard to swallow fresh start.
DuckCrafter42: With a bit of luck they may still be recoverable with recovery apps, though even then, consider most of them lost. Also can't really recommend one, the one I used years ago seems to be gone. Not that I remember the name..
cr1msonxo: When you factory reset a phone the partition that you have deleted and wipes off everything including the cache and what not. In short, the photo's are gone forever.
Spice_the_TrashPanda: That's not at all true.
Essentially what a computer (and a smartphone is just a handheld computer) does when you tell it to delete something is mark the data as "writable". It's all still there, just hidden from view and ready to be written over by new data.
As long as OP hasn't downloaded and reinstalled a bunch of crap on their phone a lot of their old pictures may still be recoverable with the right tools.
QuevedoDeMalVino: And even if OP has downloaded and installed a bunch of crap, the file system allocation strategy may save part of the day.
| 5 | 6.2 |
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