start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1653023887 | 1653024238 | t3_utm2vw | t5_2to41 | 11 | Hymen_Lover: TIFU by sucking my cousin's dildo
[removed]
sapperbergs: This is a lot to take in
WarTitan21: There just SO much to dissect.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1653026581 | 1653027041 | t3_utmq6r | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing the sex
[removed]
IcemanofOz: Looks like the 12 year olds have internet access again.
YourMomGarglesMyCum2: I’m 23
IcemanofOz: With the mental age of a 12 year old...
YourMomGarglesMyCum2: 12 yo can’t do the sex tho…
IcemanofOz: Thanks for proving my point.
YourMomGarglesMyCum2: Except I didn’t…
| 7 | 1 | |
1653030472 | 1653048730 | t3_utnlvc | t5_2to41 | 64 | Trick-Arm-5621: TIFU by falling for a coworker
So this FU actually happened over the past week. About 2 months ago a new woman started working in the office. She and I hit it off right off the bat, joking around, all professional. I thought she was cute but never really had any interest. Over the past month or so we started flirting a little. I always just assumed it was fun work flirting, nothing more.
So last week she tells me one of our clients leaned over and whispered in her ear that he wanted to bite her ass. She found this hilarious, I was like uhhhhh... That's not cool. Over the next hour or two I contemplated in my head whispering something similar in her ear. I finally got the courage and went up before I left for the day and whispered in her ear, "I want to throw you up on your desk and lick your ass." As soon as I said it she started to blush and I could tell, she was actually into it! I quickly said, "I'm totally kidding! Unless you're into it...". Over the next few hours we started texting hot and heavy. The stuff she was saying was driving me wild!
The next day she sends me a photo. Wow. I was speechless. I never realized her body was so amazing, she kind of hides it at work. I tell her that my day is rough and I'm stressed. She says "just breathe. This will help." And sends me another photo of her totally naked. Again, I am shocked at how good she looks.
Over the next 2 days we are texting constantly. I hadn't been this giddy over a girl in a loooong time. Finally on the 3rd day of all this she invited me over to kiss her all over and informed me she would kick me out at some point. Unfortunately she had just gotten an IUD put in that morning so vag town was closed. Long story short we layed around drinking wine, kissing and getting to know each other all night. We shared some stuff that I normally would never say to someone I did not know VERY well. I think we just felt very comfortable with each other. She invited me to stay the night and we fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next day I was on cloud 9. This freaky encounter with my coworker was better than any date I had been on in the past year and a half. She was fun, funny, beautiful, smart, and sexy as hell! I seriously did not expect to have such a good time, kinda thought we would make out a lil and she would ask me to leave.
The next 2 days at work were fun, we flirted a little. I would wink at her when she walked by. She would blush when I walked up to her desk and told her how beautiful she looked. I could not get this woman of my mind. While dating can be fun at times, it can be a real drag as well. We kept texting constantly, talking about how much fun we had had together, and exchanging sexy scenarios. I was so ecstatic that I had found someone I thought I could maybe make a meaningful relationship with.
Then, my heart sank. She texted me and told me we couldn't do this because she would get anxiety about us being coworkers. I understood, but I was crushed. The next day I called in sick because my anxiety was so bad. Im pretty sure I laid it on a little to thick at work. The next day when I saw her my chest would lock up, now I am not the anxious or nervous type. What had this woman done to me!
So I looked in our company handbook and found out everything was actually fine. We work in separate departments and neither one of us is each other's supervisors. So I let her know this and she still insisted that it was too much.
I have not been able to get this woman out of my head since our amazing night together. I've been having terrible anxiety and have not gotten a decent night sleep since. So tonight I told her how amazing our time was and that I really wanted to see where things could go. She informed me that she would probably end up marrying one of the other men she is seeing and while I was flattering and amazing I needed to move on.
So now I have to keep working with her and try my best to be cool, when in actuality I am totally not cool. I have never fallen head over heels for someone like I did with this woman ever, she is amazing.
Tldr : hooked up with a coworker and fell for her hard. She isn't emotionally available and cut things off after a few days and I'm stuck with a baaaaaad crush that I can't have
yoshiyo0: Have you ever been on the other end of this scenario?
Trick-Arm-5621: No, why do you ask?
yoshiyo0: If you saw someone as just fling worthy and didn’t want them for anything more I think this would be easier for you 🤷🏻♂️ sometimes people don’t want you. Accept that you had some hot sex with an attractive coworker and that you could get it again even with someone else if you so chose but life goes on it is what it is bro
Skinjob985: That's just the thing, he didn't have the hot sex. If you ask me that's what's really bothering him. He was so close, yet so far away.
yoshiyo0: Ahh damn my bad I’ve been exhausted brain mushy lmao…
| 6 | 10.666667 | |
1653031544 | 1653097543 | t3_utnuaw | t5_2to41 | 31 | Moneyegirls: TIFU by spending my money on e-girls
I’m so ashamed of myself. I barely have money left this week for food and gas and yet I just spent $100+ dollars on e-girls tonight. I swear, in the morning I’m deleting all of my accounts. I can’t keep spending money like this. After I…finish…I always feel regret. I know these girls are trying to make a living. I don’t blame them. I just can’t keep supporting them when I can barely support myself. I feel like a drug addict.
It’s just so enticing. The feeling of chatting with a woman and asking her to do sexual things and she does them is so intoxicating. I know I probably feel this way because I haven’t had a girlfriend in years. I’m going to counseling soon for this and other problems I have for dating and relationships.
I have bills that I don’t know how I’m going to pay but I still spend that money on e-girls. I know that’s a bad move but in the moment it feels so right. This is so unhealthy for me. I’m gonna cut this off cold turkey tomorrow morning. I’m resetting my phone and deleting all these porn apps. When my parents ask me why I don’t have money this week I don’t know what I’m going to tell them. I still live with them.
Tl;dr I spend all my money on e-girls
Short-Television268: Yeah prostitutes are more efficient you actually get to cum and pay for human touch. The fascination of not going out to find someone you can spend the money on a date is fucking insanity at this point in time. You want human interaction you must go out in public.
Anonhsjsjs: Shouldn’t do either tbh
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1653032543 | 1653035564 | t3_uto1zc | t5_2to41 | 41 | AssistanceLazy5164: TIFU by using the bathroom at work
This may sound dumb but I made a vow to never use the work restroom for a poop. Well today I was feeling a little bit sick and had to use the restroom. I had the sudden urge to go, so I made a fast split second decision to try and use the restroom to poop quickly and swiftly. So I run to the ladies room and take a #2, very peacefully, and get up and put my pants on and go to flush the toilet, but it didn’t flush. The one day I decide to use the toilet it friggin breaks. So I start crying in the restroom because I am the only female at my work and my boss is a dude and I know it would piss him off and I know he would know it was me and I don’t know what to do so I did the only thing I could think of. I went and grabbed a plastic bag and tried maneuvering my poop from the toilet water into the bag. At this point i’m devastated and enraged and I will never forgive myself for this nor ever tell anyone but I did it successfully. I acted like I cleaned out the bathroom and my plan went swiftly. But this is still the most embarrassing thing that i’ve ever done and i will never get over it. I haven’t told a single soul, not even my boyfriend, and I will continue to take this to the grave.
TL;DR I decided to poop for the first time and work and I ended up having to carry my poop out into the trash.
Horti_boi: You can flush with a bucket of water
AssistanceLazy5164: I didn’t have anywhere to get nor put water
Sfb208: There's no sink in your bathroom????? How do you wash your hands?? Bins, as long as they are solid not woven, make excellent buckets.
AssistanceLazy5164: i went and got the bags from the back room after i initially washed my hands after i used the restroom because i wasn’t going to grab the bags without doing so. and i get the bag and put it in a couple and then i took the paper towels and other things that were previously in the trash out all at once. i then proceeded to scrub my hands while i cried after i successfully completed my mission.
Sfb208: My point is, if there's a source for hand washing, there's a source of water.
Pooping is a natural bodily function, if the toilet breaks, that's your workplaces issue to deal with. No need to get embarrassed by normal bodily functions.
AssistanceLazy5164: i know my boss just gets pissed off by things like that and i really don’t want him to get angry with me so i’d rather take the risk of having shiit hands
Sfb208: Your boss needs to deal with it.
But honestly, what the f did you do with it after you got it in the bag?
AssistanceLazy5164: i used the trash bags that were full in the bathroom and i put it in like 3 more and threw it out with all the other bathroom trash.
| 9 | 4.555556 | |
1653034055 | 1653036428 | t3_utodg7 | t5_2to41 | 56 | Liverstonium: TIFU by *POSSIBLY* falling (and still falling) for an elaborate dating app scam
This literally just happened this night, and I'm still not sure what the reality of it is. (Probably because of the industrial volume of copium being injected in my veins) Boy are you in for a read today.
I'm also marking NSFW cuz some of the sites or subjects are a little dodgy.
So basically I(M19) matched with an e-girl type (F22) on a dating app, and we hit it off on snapchat. It all seems to be going pretty well, the small talk seems to indicate a pretty real person so far. She's talking about her faith in pineapple pizza and what sort of movies she likes, etc. Genuinely enjoying the conversation so far, not at all like the conversations that some obvious scams make. She then asks what my job is, to which I answer and reply with "wbu?" She says she is a cosplay streamer and often does sexy streams, and that she is saving up to go to uni. I absolutely support sex work or any adjacent profession as a legitimate position in society, and I give some encouraging words expressing as much.
After a bit more chatting, I ask her on a date over the weekend, to which she agrees and also adds that if I'd like, I could join in on one of her streams to get a glimpse of what her job is like. At this point, the fact that it might have been a big bamboozle all along is rooted in the back of my mind. I'm well aware of how some "livestream" sites are literally just husks of a business that try to suck your wallet with insane un-cancellable subscriptions. But there are a few things that made me cautiously go along with it.
For one, she had an Instagram account that seemed very legitimate. Frequent postings, life updates, a seemingly real follower/following list, and a lot of posts that clearly aren't directed to horny gullible guys, such as nerdy memes. (Although as I see it now that detail could've been a genius move on the scammer's part: to predict me stalking a girls insta page without them even telling me to follow the page, and then hook me with star wars memes)
In addition, she planned out some really cute details for the date, and genuinely had some insightful dialogue with me over the course of almost a week that I think scammers would generally not commit to. The amount of random topics that were covered really makes me think that a scammer would not be able to get much success with this sort of strategy.
Lastly, she told me that it was absolutely optional for me to come and see her stream. This made me trust her the most, because as effective as reverse psychology is (fucking CLEARLY in this case) I never saw a scammer use it.
So I agree to check out her stream. For the record I actually just wanted to see the girl that I had an online crush on do her job, I wasn't even being horny about it :( She proceeds to send me a link that asks for credit card information while signing up for an account. She said it was for a two day trial and I could cancel before the two days were up.
Although I wanted to try following through with all of this so far, I did remain skeptical, and I made a point to mark down the site that she sent me, search online for its legitimacy, and EVEN READ 90% OF THE TERMS OF SERVICE. Yes, I was that desperate to find a reason to trust her so far. So then I put in my credit card information, and the site basically leads my to some sketchy "onlinehookupxxx" looking-ass site. I couldn't search up her stream like she said I could, nor were there any live streams at all. I bring this up with her and she says "that's weird, let me send you a confirmation link, this should help." The confirmation link then asked for the same exact information that I had just put in, INCLUDING MY CREDIT CARD INFO AGAIN. At this point my alarms are kinda blaring, but at the same time I thought it might be possible that even if the websites were trying scam me out of subscriptions, she might be real, and just unaware of how convoluted the sites were for a viewer. I imagined that she maybe streams on a very niche site that is just hidden behind countless subscription scams for a glimpse of an actual streamer.
So my dumb ass put in the credit card information AGAIN. And immediately a very similar problem pops up, to which her solution is to send me another link that "her moderator" sent her that would somehow fix all of my problems. AGAIN, this link asked for my credit card information, and led me to a separate stream site. She then says that although these sites are different, they operate under the same company, so it would actually still bring me to her stream. (This almost made sense to my dazed brain at 2 am, so I roll with it.) This sort of thing happens TWO MORE TIMES until the next site that asks for my credit card information literally tells me my card is being declined, presumably because I entered its information in 4 sites in very quick succession. At this point I tell her the card is being declined, and that I'm becoming very very skeptical and am going to cancel the four "trial subscriptions" asap. I also asked for a picture of her with her setup to prove she's actually streaming. She then actually provides a snap that seems to fit with her story, and apologies for everything, saying that she is still looking forward to our date on the weekend.
I talked as kindly as I could throughout this whole thing, just in case she actually was real, and finally replied that I was also looking forward to the date on the weekend. Immediately after I finish texting with her, I go through every one of these sites, and find out that I need to call customer support (which was hidden as a very very tiny button in the corners of my profile) to cancel my subscriptions. I make a list of the sites that I put in my card info and methodically try to remove my subscriptions. So far I've been able to call 3 successfully and "supposedly" removed my subscriptions. I also emailed my bank (since it's so late) about this, and asked for a meeting to help manage any new subscriptions I had. So I did perform a seemingly decent job of initial damage control, although whether it actually worked or I'm fucked remains to be seen.
And on top of all this, I'm still wondering if I should even go on this date. Because putting my credit card info recklessly into subscriptions is one thing (I can eventually hunt them down and try to cancel the subscription, or even my card), but my kidneys are not as easily replaced. I'm still on the fence on whether or not to go on this date. Even if I do and she's real and as nice as she seems it would be kinda awkward for me. But at the same time she really has me crushing on her pathetically.
So I guess the TIFU is more that I have no idea what I've gotten myself into, rather than a simple "my credit card info was taken"
TL;DR: Chatted with an e-girl and arranged a date, only to get my credit card info baited on multiple sketchy streaming sites in a row in an attempt to see her stream. She apologizes, shows proof that she's real(?) (and there's other evidence to support that she is a real person) and the date is somehow apparently still on?
que_he_hecho: Call your bank. Ask to cancel your card and have a new one reissued. Explain that you think you may have gotten into an online scam.
This is 99.99% scam. Odds are "she" will have some dramatic "emergency" or just no show for any date.
Sorry man.
While you are at it I hope you didn't use any passwords on those suspect sites that you use elsewhere. If so it is time to change passwords, especially to bank or other financial accounts. Check online shopping sites like Amazon. Anywhere. Might be time to get one of those password manager services so you can use really convoluted passwords.
Liverstonium: Thanks for the advice, I probably wouldn’t have thought about the password issue until it was too late. And the whole no-show shtick on the date seems extremely likely now that you mention it. I’ll still probably go, if for nothing else than to treat myself to some pineapple pizza :(
ThanksMental1427: Pineapple pizza is always worth it. Read your story. Sorry you went through all that. Enjoy the pizza.
| 4 | 14 | |
1653034859 | 1653035421 | t3_utojks | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by recieving tongue-job at my boyfriend's work place
[deleted]
WhisperedEchoes85: So...why are you a 27M in another post?
NovemberInfinity: They want that naughty karma
| 3 | 4 | |
1653034776 | 1653035935 | t3_utoixs | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by using Belle Delphine's Gamer Girl condoms
[deleted]
Talidel: How didn't you notice when you took it off that it was a bit messed up?
-Sarasvati: I work a lot and when I get home it’s usually night time so I’m pretty tired, by the time we finished sex its my wife who cleans things up, idk why she didn’t tell me.
Morlaix: Your wife cleans the things up you left from being with your girlfriend?
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1653037630 | 1653049132 | t3_utp8qr | t5_2to41 | 14 | Brodo12: TIFU by going through our trash at work and finding poo*
Hello
TIFU by going through our trash at work. I'm manager and I lost something I threw away yesterday so I thought I'd go through the trash and check.
I found a huge pile of po\*p wraped in a bag and another 4-5 bags around it. So I went to the toilets of our office to check if they all work and only the toilet in the womans bathroom isn't working but it was clean.
We only have one woman that works for us so I know who it was. But I am not mad, she could have just told me and I would have called someone to fix the issue. I wonder how she got it out?
I don't know what to think.
TLDR: Lost something, went through the garbage and found poo\* from a female coworker wrapped in many plastic bags. Seems like the toilet broke and she couldn't flush.
I am sad that she thinks I'd not do anything or make her feel bad for it. It isn't her fault and totally natural.
Horti_boi: Hmmm, coincidence?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uto1zc/tifu_by_using_the_bathroom_at_work/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
a_cute_angle_: Do we link this post on hers? Or would that be more embarrassing than nice?
Horti_boi: Did it 😬🤣
Nowwatchmememe: Commenting so I receive updates on what happens!
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1653037524 | 1653038709 | t3_utp6k9 | t5_2to41 | 27 | Slurping-PussyJuice: TIFU by accidentally revealing details about an intimate act between me and my girlfriend to her aunt
[removed]
LordTayto: Wrong subreddit lad... Think you're looking for r/thatdidnthappen
Cjvthompson: and while your at it r/ihavesex
| 3 | 9 | |
1653038424 | 1653080930 | t3_utp211 | t5_2to41 | 20 | nickbenoit: No, that's not the answer. The answer is an emergency trip to the gym.
Fit-Bear: An emergency trip to the gym isn't going to solve the issue in the interim.
nickbenoit: It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. As long as OP keeps buying bigger clothing, he'll keep putting off going to the gym. It's only until this moment, where he was in an uncomfortable position did he realise he needed to loose weight, why not when he was 170lbs heavier? If the suit fit perfectly, despite his weight gain, I doubt he'd even write about it.
You need to feel uncomfortable for change to happen.
Fit-Bear: Believe me, I know. But discomfort isn't always enough to make the changes. There is a lot more to weight loss and gain besides exercise and diet changes. I have an eating disorder. It's not so easy to lose weight when it's tied to mental health.
[deleted]: The crazy thing is, working out vastly improves mental health, so yes, it is that easy. There’s only a few good reasons for saying you can’t lose weight. Every time someone tells someone to go to the gym though, there’s always people jumping up and down about how it’s not their fault they are fat. It is. It’s their fault. There’s very few, if any, doctors who would recommend not going to the gym for literally anything. Mental health? Gym. Thyroid disorder? Gym. High blood pressure? Gym. Arthritis? Gym. Heck, bad acne? Gym.
Fit-Bear: No, actually. It's *not* that easy. Gym isn't the answer to everyone's problems.
[deleted]: For 95% of people it is. “I’m too depressed to workout” isn’t a thing.
Fit-Bear: Please cite your sources for that statistic. Oh, what's that? You can't. You're just making a judgement and presenting your opinion as fact. That's not how this works.
[deleted]: Considering only 5% of america gas thyroid problems. Only a percentage of those people have issues w weight loss. Feel free to start listing off the different mental health issues which prohibit weight loss. I already covered the 5 percent with medical issues to use as an excuse.
You’re just making your feelings about how you shouldn’t hurt other peoples feelings make your decision. That’s literally how it doesn’t work.
Fit-Bear: The fact that you're still stating your opinion as fact shows that you can't be reasoned with. If you truly can't understand that issues with food and weight affect prior differently, and that going to the gym is not the answer for everyone then there's no point in even debating with you.
| 10 | 2 | |
1653038343 | 1653080434 | t3_utplv6 | t5_2to41 | 18,139 | Innoproph: TIFU - my mom in law heard things she shouldn’t have
This happened this morning and I’m still cringing at myself every 15-20 minutes. Please help !!
My wife was going into oral surgery today for something minor and me being the sexual deviant that I am, I had in the back of my mind ‘this is my last chance for me to get a blowjob for a week or 2. In fact, I told her, and she was up for it.
About an hour before we had to leave for the hospital, she gets out of the shower and things get steamy quickly (we hadn’t had sex for about 5-6 days so there were more than just blowjobs going down)
After some oral, I was making love to my beautiful wife, as all good husbands should.
Next thing her phone rings on the bedside table, I’ve already cummed at this point and I’m doing my darnedest to keep her focused to fishish her off, as she was close. She’s getting louder and louder and I’m feeling pretty chuffed that this is ending as planned for both of us.
My phone rings at that point “mom in law” on my watch screen (FYI I never have my watch on during sex normally but we were about to leave the house) my wife is pretty much point of climax and now moaning my ear off !! I go to reject the call by hitting the crown butting and accidentally hit the answer button, I’m on top, so my lover knows nothing of this, as she’s moaning away… I hear her mom say “hel”… and hang up …
She 100% heard us Fucking and now I can hardly live with myself.
TLDR : Accidentally answered a phone call on my Apple Watch while my wife was moaning during sex. It was her Mom
Edit1: spelling and grammar
OkVolume1: The real FU is coming up in here and bragging about both your sex and Apple watch in this economy.
Innoproph: Lol
K9queen: He probably has a full tank of gas as well. Pffft
Wolf110ci: And great health insurance! Obviously
JackStillAlive: Is this an American joke I'm too European to understand?
ScarletCaptain: If you don't have really good health insurance you end up paying massive amounts of money for basic medical care.
misterguyyy: Or you can just ignore symptoms until they either go away or become potentially fatal, giving you an even more exorbitant bill but that's not a today problem.
ManufacturerDefect: “That’s a future me problem” is my life motto.
LunDeus: "Future me is so fucked, sucks to be that guy"
ManufacturerDefect: When it manages to become a present me problem, I literally always say “fuck past me” then continue to make future me problems
benjidog1: And here present me is constantly looking to get fucked.
ManufacturerDefect: I hear Grindr is the spot for you.
| 13 | 1,395.307692 | |
1653039414 | 1653043388 | t3_utq5z8 | t5_2to41 | 13 | MetituS: TIFU by hating on my sister and her bf.
My sister got a bf and they are moving too quickly they known eachother for 5 months and he proposed and gave her a ring without ever meeting her parents.
I did some horrible stuff to try and make them slow the f down but to no avail yesterday they made me go to dinner with them that he arranged and I wasn't having it didn't smile once during the whole thing I guess i was overly agresive and drank a bit too much even tho I still don't feel getting drunk. I'm 18 turned 4 days ago and her parents yelled at me like no tommorow cause
I wasn't friendly with the guy and was being too agresive towards him than I normally am (I tried to go on a couple of dates with them to get to know the guy where they was acting all friendly towards him but in reality I went to be a cockblock and try to prevent the inevitable engagement.)
On the way home my sister was driving her bf's car cause he drank and i was in the car with my parents yelling arguing and I find myself arguing only with them for some reason.
They told me I embarrassed them I'm ungrateful and they rather me being dead and how he is better than me. I'm against the engagement cause I just want my sister back she took care of me when I was younger and protected me when my mom would beat me and yell at me if she leaves me with those two psychos one of us is biting the dust either me from suicide or them from health problems. I'm going way of topic rn SMH.
I went to a therapist to no avail and they didn't help me.
Before all of you start I know I'm a total piece of shit and I'm the worst scum on the earth I'm the worst person to exist and I know that my parents went over it yesterday.
Tldr: I'm against my sisters bf and their engagement. Being aggressive towards him apparently embracing my parents. Now they are kicking me out at 18 and told me he is a better person than me and it would be better I if was dead.
Sorry for the long post and me going a bit off topic.
Masie33: it sounds like you're jealous and a bit toxic as well, I would need more information to judge the therapist though, you seem like you need a good one.
MetituS: I'm batshit crazy but there is no help for me I guess. If a therapists couldn't help me I just might be mentally ill.
The therapist would sit there just listen to me and tell me wow that sucks you need to go for a walk do what you like.
Masie33: I can try being your therapist but I'm literally a child so don't take my advice that seriously.
Do you think you are jealous. Do you want a relationship like they have?
MetituS: Fuck no I promised myself to never become like this two it's quite corny and annoying.
Masie33: do you want a relationship at all?
MetituS: No tbh from what I've seen all relationships around me end up with two unhappy people that hate eachother and end up stuck wanting to split up but can't cause of societies views on them.
And my parents make fun of me when I have anything going on ultimately just forcing me to end relationships.
The only relationship I had was 15 minutes until my mom laughed at me and told me I'm just a stupid kid cause the girl told her I liked her back. After that I just keep my distance from relationships.
Funny thing is haven't seen my mom making fun of my sister about her love life.
Maybe the only reason I would go into a relationship would be cause I don't want to feel like an outcast from other people.
Masie33: How old are you? Whatever the age you definitely should do your best to avoid your parents.
MetituS: Turned 18 4 days ago. Can't really avoid them when I'm dependant on them they won't let me move out either so idk what to do.
Masie33: I re read your post a bit, you should apologize to your sister and her bf and try to move in with them. Your sister genuinely seems like the best person you can seek help from.
MetituS: They are not living together she is still living with my parents. Apparently she and my parents wants the guy to move in with us smh idk how that would work we have a tiny apartment with two bedrooms and i sleep on the couch probs I'm gonna sleep on the balcony if he moves in.
Masie33: I'm definitely not the right person to help you, wishing you luck tho.
MetituS: Thanks for trying at least. I'll just have to fix myself somehow.
| 13 | 1 | |
1653040021 | 1653071882 | t3_utqhef | t5_2to41 | 184 | anonuser719163534158: TIFU by confronting my best friend about him not liking my gf
I know my post of r/relationship_advice didn‘t get a lot of traction, but this is sort of an update to this: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/urhnpw/my_m21_best_friend_m21_doesnt_like_my_gf_f20_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Yesterday, while we were at my place, I sat him down and explained to him what I was seeing and how it was affecting me and my gf.
Again, I was met with more dodginh and denials, but I didn’t let the conversation go. I stressed how, whatever it was, he could tell me, that we should be talking to each other, and that it was hurting me to know that he obviously had a problem and how he didn’t trust me enough to speak to me.
Because he continued saying that everything was fine, things escalated a bit. He said something along the lines that she’s “extremely sweet and kind and perfect for me” and he had nothing against her. I brought up the points of how it didn’t look like that is what he thought of her, and so he either was lying or there was something else going on.
He wanted to shut down the conversation and continue playing video games, telling me that there was nothing to talk about and to please forget it.
I snapped tho, and told him to stop acting like a jealous child.
He got quiet all of a sudden, and that’s when I realised that he was in fact jealous, so I asked him that. He didn’t answer and started looking extremely nervous. He begged me to please drop the subject, and that he would fix his behaviour around my gf.
When I continued to press him, he started grabbing his stuff and saying that maybe he should go home.
I again, stressed that I wanted him to speak to me, and that no matter what it was, that I wouldn’t judge him for it.
He looked very distressed, and almost like he wanted to cry.
And then he told me that he is in love with me. He immediately said that it didn’t matter, and things shouldn’t change, that he would get over it and to please forget it.
I was stunned, but for his sake, tried not to show it.
I told him that it’s ok, and asked him since when he had feelings for me. He said it happened around our 1st semester in college. He said that around that time he admitted to himself that he was gay after a long time of questioning.
I told him there was nothing wrong with being gay and asked him why he never told me.
And, guys, he was scared that I would just drop him. I was shocked he would think that because I have never been homophobic, even in middle school when everyone loved to be edgy, I was one to never participate in that type of shit. I assured him that that would have never happened.
We hugged each other, and he kept saying that he was sorry for everything.
At the end he left earlier and told me it would be better to give each other space so he has time to put behind his feelings.
Now I’m just sitting here feeling like a dumbass because how could I not notice that my best friend of 15 years is a) gay, and b) has feelings for me.
And now, there is a big possibility that this is going to put change our friendship, and I really don’t want to loose him. And I also feel like an asshole for pressing him to come out to me.
TLDR: my best friend didn’t like my gf because he was jealous and me pressuring the subject and accidentally make him come out to me might end our friendship.
builtbybama_rolltide: Tell him like you told us. He’s your best friend of 15 years and you don’t want to lose him, even if you don’t share the same romantic feelings for him. Let him know that doesn’t mean you don’t care, you do love him but like a brother and you can’t imagine not having him in your life to share those big moments with because he is family to you. Let him know you are here to support him in his journey with his sexuality and that doesn’t change your friendship, he’s still your best friend and you are there to talk whenever he’s ready.
anonuser719163534158: I will, I‘m just planning to give him a little space for today atleast.
builtbybama_rolltide: I can respect that. Give the whole situation some decompress time isn’t a bad thing. When you are ready to reach out then tell him how you feel about him as a best friend
| 4 | 46 | |
1653043547 | 1653044772 | t3_utrejq | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by receiving tongue-job at my boyfriend's work place.
[deleted]
nurshakira: Is this real? There got to be cameras in the elevator right?
OMGoblin: it's real stupid
nurshakira: Post deleted lol
| 4 | 2 | |
1653047305 | 1653048806 | t3_utt5xa | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by Shaving before Jogging
[deleted]
DespoticLlama: Nah, she was flirting - say hi next time dummo
bee-sting: call me crazy but servers are paid to be polite, so i wouldnt read into it
Rsn_GirlOnFire: I'm with you on this one. Not every girl is looking to flirt out there, don't get too excited.
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1653047560 | 1653105536 | t3_utt9xk | t5_2to41 | 63 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching porn in between of my family.
[deleted]
BlueJFisher: kinda sounds like you have a problem if you can’t wait until you’re alone to watch pornography. This is disturbing.
nooneinteresting-1: Disturbing for who? Have you ever been a teenage boy?
Anonhsjsjs: Teenage boy right here, can confirm it’s really easy to not watch that in front of your family, or at all for that matter.
Quirky_Apricot9427: Teenage boy here, relatively easy to not watch in front of your family, idk about ‘at all’ tho
| 5 | 12.6 | |
1653048169 | 1653085952 | t3_uttk0q | t5_2to41 | 9,127 | EatMyWords2022: TIFU by repeating my wife's words to her years later
Been with my wife for about 5 years (\~4 years dating, 1 year married).
Around two years into our relationship, she ended up pregnant (accidentally), and she made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. We were heartbroken, I tried to convince her not to (we had discussed the "What if it happens?" many times, and never was the option for termination brought up), so I was especially caught off guard by the 180 turn. Her logic was "It's just a bunch of cells now".
After the procedure, our relationship was quite rocky for about 6 months, lots of fights that devolved to discussions that I'm not proud of.
Fast forward to our relationship now, it's perfect, we don't talk about that event, even in occasional arguments we have, never gets brought up. We're happily married now, drink significantly less, etc.
**About 5 weeks, we found out she's pregnant again!** We were both ecstatic, excited to start a family, choosing names for our child. We were over the moon with happiness until...she lost it last week. It was awful (to put it lightly), we both cried a lot, she's extremely emotional still and mostly spends the days lying in bed watching netflix. Took the last week off work, and is disinterested in any of her usual activities. A couple days ago, I tried to use her argument to help her feel less... guilt/sadness? "Baby, it was just a bunch of cells when we lost them, we'll keep trying and it will happen". Apparently this was the exact wrong thing to say because she was crying right away, yelled at me to leave the room, and hasn't given me more than 1 word answers since. Been looking online at ways to help your SO cope with loss to try to right the situation ever since.
​
**TL;DR:**
\- Wife (when we were dating) told me "It's just a bunch of cells" when she made decision first time
\- Relationship suffered for some time, repaired, ended up getting married
\- Lost our baby early into pregnancy recently and I repeated her words to her ("It's just a bunch of cells")
\- Wife became very emotional, is non-responsive to me over the last few days
ltpko: I’m not sure this will be helpful, but here is some possible insight. Miscarriage is a terrible loss. Especially when your body is flooded with all the hormones. It’s easy to questions if you did something wrong, if you are worthy, if this is karma because you had an abortion years ago, if you will be able to carry a child, if you should even try again, if you could go through this loss again. There are just so many things that can go through your mind. It’s possible the cell comment triggered more thoughts around the abortion. Getting an abortion is hard choice to make and it sounds like she has to defend that choice for a while. Now she has had 2 negative experiences with pregnancy. Be kind, patient, and surround her with love. Mainly let her work through all the thoughts in her head. There isn’t going to be a right thing to say and most things might be the wrong thing to say. She is having an abundance of emotions right now.
EatMyWords2022: Thank you - you phrased this very eloquently, appreciate it.
m_____676767: I am pro choice. I believe that a fetus is a clump of cells until heartbeat and even then after that it should be aborted later if it has to. But when it is a wanted pregnancy it's not just cells to the pregnant person.
Cells if unwanted, but if wanted it's a baby.
I get you were trying to help and are technically true. But the connotation is different when you want to keep the baby.
Just try and talk to her and say you were trying to comfort her but you're sorry the way you did it.
CorwynSunblade: I'm going to get down voted to hell and back, but this is exactly why I feel the pro-choice argument is wrong here. This isn't Schrodinger's baby. It's either a clump of cells and doesn't matter or it's a potential child you lost with all of the hopes and dreams you had for them already lost along with them. That doesn't change based on your opinion in the moment of what's best for you.
I fully support people's right to choose, mainly because I don't believe medically needed procedures will be protected in a radicalized anti-abortion climate. But you can't have your cake and eat it too. It was cells or a baby, both times.
OP, the loss of a child, at any point, is heart breaking. My advice to you is to acknowledge that loss to your wife and let her know that her feelings are 100% justified. By telling her it was just a clump of cells you are inadvertantly telling her she shouldn't feel sad. Let her be sad. Be sad with her. That's honestly the best thing you can do at the moment. It's just going to suck for a while.
FootfallsEcho: You are actually almost there. The point is that it’s just a clump of cells both times, which is why the body aborts babies so easily first trimester. It happens all the damn time, a lot of women don’t even know it happens, they just think it’s a heavy period. The difference is that there was an idea of a future attached to one and not the other - and that is what is being mourned.
Let’s look at it this way - humans prescribe meaning to things all the time. There’s billions of pebbles in this world, and the pebble my partner gave me is so near and dear to my heart that I cried when I thought I lost it. It’s just a pebble. But I gave meaning to it.
Humans are choosing to give meaning to a clump of cells. It’s so obvious in how radically different the viewpoints are. It’s prescribed meaning and there’s no right answer. As you stated, the only right answer is that the government shouldn’t have a say about medical procedures, it’s a dangerous path.
CorwynSunblade: I'm honestly okay with people feeling either way. I'm not so egotistical that I feel I have to be right. I just think people have to actually pick one or the other, not go the way they feel at the moment. That's just hypocritical.
FootfallsEcho: I explained to you very succinctly why it is not hypocritical. In both cases it is just a clump of cells. No one is debating that. The only difference is the potential of the clump of cells - which is decided by the mother.
xBulletJoe: why doesn't the father have a say in it's potential though?
FootfallsEcho: Because he doesn’t have to carry it in his body? Also, the mother can choose to weigh his input of course, and many do, but that’s very dependent on situation. Many biological fathers are abusers, so we can’t really make a generalized statement.
Let me make this vividly clear for you. My cousin is pregnant right now. She has been throwing up violently every day for about four months now. She has been throwing up so violently in fact that it has weakened the muscles in her pelvic floor. Now her uterus is beginning to prolapse - meaning her cervix is pushed to the opening of her vaginal canal. It is possible her entire uterus could begin to fall outside of her vagina without intervention. The intervention may or may not work, and the chance of maternal death is now greatly increased.
This isn’t an uncommon occurrence. These types of medical emergencies and many others occur all the time. Why should the biological father have any say over the life of the mother? Her and I have already spoken about the potential of something horrifying happening and she said “save me, I can make another baby.“
Like it or not a fetus is intrinsically tied to the life and well-being of the mother. It’s not for the man. They can have opinions, as is their right, but the decision is not theirs to make. Lucky for them.
xBulletJoe: of course most cases will be made with both parents taking the decision but in the cases that it will not. having the mother the absolute power is a deservice to your prior statement. giving the clump of cells meaning and importance has nothing to do with who bears the physical burden.
if the life of the mother is not at risk, the father should have a say.
FootfallsEcho: However, once that baby is born I am a full supporter of paternal rights. My father had full custody and he is an amazing father. Granted, he also is 100% pro-choice and is disgusted that any man thinks he has a say over a woman’s body. While my mom is a a crazy person whom he wants nothing to do with, he is still, to this day, in absolute awe of what she put her body through in order to give him myself and my brother, and he is very thankful and reverent that she chose to do that with him.
It isn’t hard to be a good man and father. To be responsible while still recognizing a woman’s independence and agency in the rights over her own body. To fight for your children and to take responsibility for them if the mother does not. You can do all of those things without dictating what a woman does with her body.
babycallmemabel: I'm so confused why someone downvoted this comment.
FootfallsEcho: Men don’t like to hear that their worldview is incorrect and that they didn’t fully grasp the topic. In this case, that the risk of pregnancy is unknown at the time of abortion and that is, in fact, the point. Thankfully I don’t care about the votes, but I very much appreciate you ❤️
MoonageDayscream: And pregnancy is much much riskier than an early abortion.
FootfallsEcho: Oh yes. Extremely so.
| 16 | 570.4375 | |
1653048884 | 1653569339 | t3_uttvmo | t5_2to41 | 22 | TheJFKExperience29: TIFU by making a hand gesture
So, this isn't exactly a today fuckup, but it's too good to not share. So, autistic kids do weird things, right? In my experience as an autistic, I've done some strange things. I also do not keep up with the news a lot.
Truly a deadly combination.
Back in 2012, I was around, say, 5 or 4 years old. And autistic 5 or 4 year olds do strange things.
There I was, sitting there with my legs crossed as enforced, questioning why the front row of kids get to sit with their legs out. In my head, I'm decrying this blatant injustice! What makes them so special? Why can't I sit like that? In my confused fury, I point at one of the kids in the front row.
One moment passes.
Two moments pass.
Three.
One of my classmates says "He has a gun!"
I looked at him, confused. What's a gun?
Suddenly, all I hear is screaming. All of the kids around me rush out of their seats and begin running away, screaming that I was going to kill them. I'm still sitting there, confused, looking at the teachers for an explanation. They led me away by the hand to the outside area of the classroom and to the principal's office, where I sit and wait for my parents. I'm confused and afraid. Did I do something wrong? Are all of my friends going to hate me? What did I do? My parents come pick me up, and on one hand, I'm happy for a day off of school. On the other, I did something really bad, right? I told them what happened, and they exchanged glances. I ask them why they reacted the way they did over a simple hand gesture, and I receive no answer.
After this, I'm homeschooled for most of my adolescent years. I don't know why I'm homeschooled, but the teachers at my school liked to throw me in a padded cell for no real reason other than being autistic, so I figure it's for the best. Flash forward to my teenage years. I'm getting into some edgy shit, right? One of those things is mass shootings. I vaguely remember hearing of a tragic event that happened around early 2013, but I never gave it much thought. After all, why should I keep up with adult stuff when I can just do my own thing? Well, I'm watching a video on the perpetrator of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, Adam Lanza. Then, the memory of the school hand gesture incident rushes back to me, like ketchup out of a bottle.
Slowly, then all at once.
They were afraid of me committing a school shooting. On one hand, it's darkly hilarious to mentally image me as a young boy, just whipping out a gun larger than my head and trying to shoot people before inevitably falling on my ass. On the other hand, I feel a pang of guilt wash over me. Those kids were afraid of dying.
​
TLDR: Pointed at a kid in my elementary class, all of my peers thought I was carrying out a school shooting, I'm homeschooled until I'm like 15.
samamp: I have no idea what yhe gesture is like did you literally just point your finger at someone
RandoCalrissian11: Probably pointed 2 fingers like a hand gun and literally everyone overreacted because they are too simple minded. School systems are really a massive failure in this regard.
TheJFKExperience29: No, it was deadass just one finger at some other kid lol
RandoCalrissian11: Well, that seems like an over reaction.
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1653051527 | 1653053187 | t3_utv2e8 | t5_2to41 | 54 | KingCosmicBrownie: TIFU by letting my wife cut my hair and my pubes
I love my wife, she’s an amazing woman. She’s even more amazing when she’s drunk.
I got home yesterday, and I asked my wife to shave the sides of my head. She happily agreed and we put the guard on the razor and about to go ham. Well, the razor was dead. We had a bottle of Captain Morgan waiting for us to celebrate her finishing her week and getting ready for a cozy three day weekend. So we proceed to start drinking and being merry. After we killed the bottle, drunk brain activated and thought it would be a grand idea to shave the sides of my head. She eagerly agreed, and we get everything ready. I got the guard on, i got naked, and I sat there as she was shaving away. Everything was going great! Nothing bad happened.. yet.
So as she was finishing up, she obviously noticed my pubes getting a little long. I try and keep them trimmed up for aesthetic reasons. Well, she drunkly tells me she seen a Tik Tok that states shaving your partners pubes is a great way to form intimacy. “Who doesn’t love more intimacy?” my drunken brain said. I told her I was good with that. She takes the guard off, and she’s about to shave away. Well, she goes straight into the skin instead of at an angle. That’s cut number one. She apologizes profusely and i exclaim this is a very normal thing, no worries! She’s more meticulous and well, she gets a little too eager and goes straight into the thigh. That’s cut number two.
Same dance, she profusely apologizes and I tell her no worries.
And this is where I really REALLY wish drunk brain didn’t betray me.
She goes for the family jewels.
With a puckered butthole, a bead of nervous sweat, she starts shaving.
And if I learned anything, I shouldn’t of trusted her drunken judgement.
She cuts my balls. That’s cut number three.
She drops the razor, apologizes so much, while I’m sitting there with a tear in my eye, and blood all over my boys.
I jump into the tub and stop the bleeding, nothing major, just some cuts. And when I get out the tub, I notice a little piece of hair she missed. No biggie, I thought. It happens to the best of us. I ask her to just give me a little touch up, and we’ll be set. So she grabs the razor and starts touching it up. She then just does one more little minor “touch up” on the sides. Except, she forgot to put the guard back on. So I now have a bald spot on the side. She starts laughing and apologizing and I take a look at the damage. Yep, I gotta shave off the rest of the hair on the sides. It actually turned out great and I might keep rocking this look!
She apologized for the whole fiasco, and I assured her all was good. And I’m not sure if the intimacy thing is true or not, but it definitely worked.
Moral of the story: Don’t let my drunk wife cut any of my hair
TL;DR: I let my drunk wife cut my hair and pubes; I instead ended up with several cuts and a bald head.
AB416647: I think I already knew that, glad you now know tho 👌🏾
KingCosmicBrownie: You live and you learn, I guess 😐
AB416647: True
| 4 | 13.5 | |
1653054459 | 1653056552 | t3_utwgev | t5_2to41 | 4 | Deep-Win9430: TIFU when my son came to me about a situation with his GF.
[removed]
adamb0mbNZ: How hot is she?
salex100m: not hot enough
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1653057544 | 1653059644 | t3_utxzak | t5_2to41 | 37 | Rokodur000: TIFU by Accidentally Locking Out My Wife
I (27M) accidentally locked out my wife (27F) for the second time. For context, she works 3rd shift (10pm-6am) Sunday-Thursday and I work first shift (6am-6pm) Sunday-Tuesday and every other Wednesday. Effectively we work opposite shifts, and both these events took place on days I wasn't working the following day and was sleeping in.
She usually locks the door from the outside when she leaves for work in the evening before I go to bed. We have one of those doors where it has 2 locks and one of them can only be locked from the inside. I made it a habit to lock both locks when I go inside our apartment per her request.
I say this is the second time this has happened, because it is. The first time this happened the dog barked and woke me up as she knocked on the door, so she was outside for a couple minutes before I let her in. I thought it wouldn't happen again, well...
Last night I was getting some things together for a weekend stay at my parents place, I'm going to dog sit for them while they're going out of state. I had to grab some things from my car and came back inside and instinctively locked both locks again without realizing it.
At 7am this morning my wife got home and was locked out. This time the dog didn't hear her, I had a fan going, and she ended up waiting outside for over an hour. My phone wasn't nearby and was on silent. I woke up around 8am and saw a bunch of missed calls and texts from her. Before I could register what was going on she called me again. I picked up still groggy and asked her what was up and she shouted at me to unlock the door! I jumped out of bed and got the door open.
She was, justifiably, pretty upset. Now I have an alarm set on my phone for when she comes home in the morning to prevent future issues.
TLDR: TIFU by locking out my wife and left her outside for over an hour before I woke up.
Dbgross01: Just change that inside only lock out for a deadbolt that she can open and problem solved. Locks only keep out honest people anyway; if they want in, locks aren’t stopping anyone.
Rokodur000: I should have mentioned this in the post. We are currently renting. Installing a deadbolt would be more secure but wouldn't solve the problem.
Dbgross01: It means she can unlock it with a key and wouldn’t be locked out. Can ask the landlord to do it. I assume this is a chain lock? Just don’t use it, if the doorknob has a lock.
Rokodur000: Alright turns out I was incorrect, it is a deadbolt with no key insert on the outside of the door. It can be locked and unlocked from the inside but not the outside.
Dbgross01: Super easy fix. Just ask the landlord to swap it out or you can change it yourself but give them a copy of key. They should have no issue with that and the holes will be the same. 10 min and done.
| 6 | 6.166667 | |
1653059892 | 1653063117 | t3_utz50l | t5_2to41 | 180 | Ski3po: TIFU trying to be healthy but making my company think I'm drinking beer in the morning
I used to drink a lot of energy drinks (with multiple stimulants, oodles of caffeine, sucralose, etc) and have pretty much cut them out.
Instead, I now drink a 'clean' energy powder with yerba mate, nothing artificial, etc. But I still like carbonation, so I mix the powder with seltzer.
Well, still working from home and on a lot of video conference calls, people have seen me drinking this, and apparently all thought I was maybe drinking beer. At 9 AM. Daily.
The color is pretty spot on (think hefeweizen), and the powder reacting with the seltzer creates a nice head. This should be faux beer for TV/movies.
One guy just cracked a joke about me going hard on a Friday morning (I could tell truly trying to figure out if it was legit beer) in front of my boss' boss, so I quickly did a demonstration opening a powder pack and seltzer to create the pint-of-beer-doppelganger. I *hope* they are comforted.
TL;DR: my new healthier morning caffeine option looks exactly like beer, and coworkers thought I was drinking beer in the mornings.
Rhelino: That is hilarious, but at the same time: how did you not notice that it looked like beer???
Ski3po: I guess I kind of did but blew it off. Figured quick sips, blurry video, etc would lend enough ambiguity. Nopeeee...
Rhelino: Next time just drink it out of a coffee mug 😅
humanoid_7777: Yea duh. I have coffee alllll day long 🤣🤣🤣
Dallenforth: I'm a fan of Irish coffee.
| 6 | 30 | |
1653059823 | 1653077339 | t3_utz3ti | t5_2to41 | 478 | [deleted]: TIFU when I realised what I had been masturbating with for over two years.
[removed]
WaldoGeraldoFaldo: What's the correlation between the mold on the job and the mold in the mascara stick, other than to explain why you'd know the smell was mold right away? Preeetty convenient for these events to occur back-to-back like that. And what would the mold in the mascara even *grow* on? There's no sugar in that.
Angdrambor: >explain why you'd know the smell was mold right away?
That was exactly the point of the story. She's been jillin' it with a moldy mascara, but wasn't able to recognize the smell until she had to clean out the machine at work.
Mascara usually has some kind of wax or oil in it, which can provide energy to the mold. Likewise human secretions have a variety of proteins in them which may have also fueled the growth.
WaldoGeraldoFaldo: >That was exactly the point of the story
So you think she smelled it all along? But didn't care until she smelled the same awful thing at work...? Because that doesn't make sense.
But you're right in as much as that's why the story was framed this way. She had to give a basis for immediately knowing what that smell was.
Angdrambor: > So you think she smelled it all along? But didn't care until she smelled the same awful thing at work...? Because that doesn't make sense.
Yes exactly. I think she smelled it and didn't know what it was or didn't think there was any significance to it.
WaldoGeraldoFaldo: >I was met with the same, but most definitely worse gnarly smell I had experienced from work
You think this person was smelling this awful thing the entire time, but disregarding it until they smelled something similar at work?
Sorry, but that just doesn't hold water.
Angdrambor: I don't think it was really that bad a smell. Just one of those normal smells that isn't really good or bad until you know what it is.
Knowledge is what makes it disgusting.
WaldoGeraldoFaldo: ...What? This is what this person described. Wtf are you talking about
Angdrambor: Context can substantially affect our perception of smells and tastes, and I think that's what happened to OP.
| 9 | 53.111111 | |
1653057025 | 1653066860 | t3_utxq33 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by poking a platypus naked
[deleted]
Looking_for_James: Wasn't this posted about a month ago?
hills_for_breakfast: 45 days to be exact:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/twuhha/tifu_by_poking_a_platypus_naked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1653060248 | 1653060626 | t3_utzb8p | t5_2to41 | 9 | trenchcoatidiots: TIFU by using my preferred names on some of my papers in certain classes
So before I tell this, here’s some background on me. So I (15 enby) am a transmasc non-binary person. I am out to some teachers and some former friends but not to my parents. My mom seems somewhat supportive but confused about trans people but my stepdad is kinda transphobic.
So in those classes with teachers I was out to, they would allow me to use my preferred name on papers and worksheets. So I of course did that. Well today is my last day of 9th grade and my mom wanted to clear stuff out of my book bag. During that she came across the papers with my preferred name on it. My mom asked about it. I felt my heart drop into my ass. I was trying to think of an explanation that wouldn’t put me before I was ready. I was thinking “shit, is my messy book bag going to be the thing that outs me?”. She said that I wasn’t in trouble but the shit was scared out of me. I tried to play it off as just a nickname and it kinda worked. I said that I was commonly called that by people. She asked how long I’d been going by that and I said a few months. I’m trying to think of more coverups to do here. Maybe I make up something based on true events to make it seem like a believable reason for why people call me my preferred name.
TL;DR: my dumb ass thought that my papers I signed my preferred name on would never be found, and then they were. Cover up stories are needed.
Edit: I accidentally said “names” instead of “name” in the title. Sorry about that.
KarateKid72: Oof. Sorry to hear that. Do you think you’ll be able to tell your mom and her be ok with it? It seems like your home life may not be entirely ok if your stepdad finds out.
trenchcoatidiots: My mom will probably be alright with it. I don’t think that I’ll be in real danger if my stepdad finds out, he’ll probably just be an ass about it and not use my preferred name or pronouns.
| 3 | 3 | |
1653061697 | 1653839312 | t3_uu011j | t5_2to41 | 159 | ConstructionLate9633: TIFU by making nude mirror selfies and videos and getting caught me by my mom
I just got home from work and was changing in my room nothing weird about that. When I was changing I noticed that the lighting in my room was really nice and that my boobs looked cute so midway changing I decided too make mirror selfies and videos naked. The thing about my room is that it’s on ground level and when I don’t close my curtain my famille could see me if they happen too walk by outside. I knew where my parents were and thought I could at least manage too take a few pictures without them walking by. So I was actually bouncing up and down and filming it and I looked too my side and my mom was there looking at me. She just said that she grabbing something too drink from the garage and ignored what she saw. Afterwards I even told her that I wasn’t doing something weird cause it probably looked questionable and that I was just changing. The fact that I said that just enhances the idea that I was actually doing something weird. Right now she just talks too me the way she usually does but I feel so embarrassed.
TLDR: I was making nude pictures and videos in front of the mirror in my room. My curtain was open and my mom happend too walk by and saw me filming myself naked. She looked at me and then ignored what she saw and continued on like nothing happened. I feel really embarrassed.
Upvotes4Trump: We dont believe you, post the video for proof.
ConstructionLate9633: Subscribe too my only fans and you will😩
outdoors_man_1775: Props to you for not posting a link haha most would have jumped on the opportunity
ConstructionLate9633: I don’t have a only fans tho I was joking😅
GalegO86: This is a anon account, theres a plenty subs where u can post one Pic without your face and no one will know 😁
YourChubbyBuddy: People are downvoting you but...
GalegO86: I know, they think the same... Oh hypocrisy...
YourChubbyBuddy: I mean OP obviously thought the same.
Her recent post history agrees with you.
GalegO86: WTF! Congrats to OP she's beautiful!
| 10 | 15.9 | |
1653063209 | 1653072305 | t3_uu0ruc | t5_2to41 | 7 | What-Am-I-Even-Doin: TIFU by unknowingly scaring my date and chasing her out the parking lot
This happened on Saturday during an afternoon coffee date/first meet. I apologize it's so long, TLDR at the end.
To be clear, I don't know (and probably never will) what I did to trigger this to happen. Also, I fully respect and acknowledge that she was not into me but I'm just confused on the specific way that this date ended.
I have been out of the dating game for some time and was starting to get back into it but then the pandemic hit after a couple dates that didn't turn into anything. A couple months ago, I thought it was time to try it again and I went to an online dating site, made a profile and met some catfishers (of course) and a couple crazy people. There's no need to get into it here but it's made me pretty reluctant to give my number out.
Fast forward a bit I come across this profile of a beautiful girl with the cutest smile. My initial thought was 'catfisher' but, while her profile was not fully detailed, it was written well and very much peaked my interest and thought there's no harm in checking. I sent a "super like" and a message. We went back and forth for a bit with messages slowly getting more delayed and shorter. I realized she's the type that would rather talk in person and asked if she'd want to go out and meet for coffee or something and she said "Sure!" so I sent my number but didn't hear anything back and after checking my messages for a week and nothing I figured it was a catfisher that got what they wanted. Another week went by and I logged back in to see if there was someone else to talk with and noticed she had sent her number as soon as I stopped checking, a week earlier.
I texted her and she immediately responded with something like '*If you actually wanted to date, why wait so long? That's weird*.'
I thought it was hint that she had moved on and didn't care anymore so I sent an apology and said I wouldn't bother her anymore.
The next day she messaged me asking if I even wanted to date. Damn, I misjudged that (as usual) and I replied with another apology that I *yet again* miss-interrupted along with "*Yes! Are you free this weekend?*" I couldn't waste anymore time. She lives an hour away and I've not been to that area so I asked her to pick a place she's comfortable with. She gave me the name, address and even a google maps link leaving me 0 excuses. :) Never once in our interactions did I not think, "damn, she's awesome!" She's been super understanding and has no issues being direct.
Given my previous delays on everything, I knew I had to be there early. I got there 20 minutes early, got my coffee and waited.
She showed up! She is truly even more gorgeous in person than in the pictures (that's not even fair XD). Unfortunately, that combined with the fact that I'm super introverted, shy and have had very little to no social interactions with anyone for over 2 years except, my brain overloaded and shut down. I'm already terrible at introduction conversions and talking about myself trying to be impressive but not braggy, so this did not help.
I liked everything she had to say and I tried to make sure it was not a one-way conversation. I'm not sure how she felt about me for most of this time but we talked for an hour.
At that point, she leaned back in her chair a bit and started using her hands as she talked. Initially, I thought, 'maybe she's getting more comfortable'. However, it was at this point that things very quickly got weird.
While she was waving her hands, I noticed a dark black/purplish spot on her nail which distracted me a bit for some reason. I thought it was a blood blister at first and was going to ask what happened but it was this moment when I realized it was just some stuck nail polish that didn't come off with the rest of it.
At the same time, **she stopped mid-sentence** and said "*I'm going to leave now*." Immediately got up and started to walk away.
We've already established that I'm terrible at reading some situations and given how direct she's been, I thought, maybe she just remembered has somewhere to be. So, I got up and thought I would walk with her and say goodbye, I said "*Thanks for meeting with me*". We were already sitting outside so by the time I said that we were in the parking lot (she was about 10 steps ahead of me) and her response was "*where's your car?*"
I pointed to it, "*that one*." It was on the way to her car but closer than hers.
"*Good*" she replied as she started walking faster.
Now this hint, I understood but still wasn't sure what was going on and said "*Have a great weekend*" or "*enjoy the rest of day*" or something and was going to ask if she wanted to try meeting again but she didn't look back.
At that point she was in a power walk, almost a jog.
Still not sure what exactly happened in that specific moment and that I've misjudged things with her several times and I really liked her and didn't want to miss out but also be respectful if I'm not what she's looking for. I messaged her the next day to say that I understand if she's not into me and I wont bother her further but to let me know if she wanted to meet again. I never heard back.
To be clear, again, I completely understand if she's not into me at all and I respect that but I've never had anyone just get up and leave like that. The fact that she really seemed like she would have no problem saying something like "I'm sorry, this isn't working out" and more specifically that it happened mid-sentence makes me think that I clearly did something to offend her and that really bothers me because I thought I was very respectful if nothing else.
Knowing that was the end of that, I logged back into the dating app a few days later to see what's next but immediately noticed our chat was still open but not in my inbox, she had blocked me. That's fair, I wasn't going to message her anyways as I don't want to harass her for not liking me (I get it) but it also really hit hard that I obviously had to have done something very wrong.
Having replayed this in my head countless times trying to figure out what happened, I *think* I know now or at least this is the only thing I can think of. When she was having her hands at the time things really took a turn, they were in front of her and she probably thought I was staring at her breasts which I honestly didn't notice, the only things that caught my attention were her face... and hands. Now I'm the guy that made someone sooo uncomfortable that they had to book it across the parking lot to get away from me :(
I honestly feel so terrible, a bit distraught and still confused. I feel like a murderer in some scary movie that she had to run away from, I'm just glad there were no screams for help.
I'm not sure if she simply didn't want to waste anymore time with me or if I really made her uncomfortable but if it is the latter, I have to applaud her for just getting the F out of a situation she's not comfortable in.
TLDR: I'm not entirely sure what happened but I got distracted by her hands waving which may have made her think that I was staring at her breasts making her uncomfortable and needing to get out. Not knowing that, I followed her out to the parking lot to say goodbye which only made her move faster the closer I got.
24nicebeans: My first thought is roofie nail polish. It’s nail polish that changes color if someone drugged your drink after you dip your finger in. My guess is that for some reason it changed color and she thought you tried to drug her. No idea how that happened though, maybe someone random did so? Or some flaw in the nail polish that shows a false positive?
What-Am-I-Even-Doin: Oh that's interesting! But I don't think that can be it unless she's super paranoid and started to feel sick as well as a false positive.
We were at a coffee shop and I never went near her drink. Because I got there early, I got my coffee as I didn't want to be sitting around without buying anything. So she got her drink on her own and it was in her possession the whole time.
I don't know if I even put my hands on the table but I certainly didn't reach across it at any point.
I really hope this is not the case but also it could make some sense of it.
Edit: Man, I really hope I did not come off as someone who would drug another person :(
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1653065794 | 1653072180 | t3_uu22d7 | t5_2to41 | 32 | Limp-Albatross-424: TIFU by stealing from shop
TIFU So basically me and 5 other friends went co op and stole like £25 worth of shit with no mask and everything thinking we slick we just dumbasses then today im isolated.
I got told that the police is getting involved its going on my criminal record im isolated on monday and already wrote statements saying what we did.
And my mom if fucking gonna kill me and make me do punishment and not grounding im prolly getting sent to another country and on top of that a nice beating.
The fuck ima do with my life rn my mom is coming home soom and im getting beats i already told the school that we ate the shit we took and they are saying we took up to £100 for some reason idk and i might be expelled permanetly.
And are also checking footage for if we stole before.
(spoiler alert: i stole gum one time and not even long ago a ice loli im just an idiot)
I dont know what to do with my life rn its peakk for me and i thought i was slick i am one cocky fuck
my friends might be safe idk but one of them said that their mom is calm the other one ran home hoping that his dad didnt come home early so he can tell his mom not to tell him, one of the others dad called them and told them to wait their and said he is going to sort it out he is getting a nice beating.
I want to cry but i cannot i deserve punishment hopfully they show mercy
## TL;DR: I fucked up by stealing and got caught now its on my criminal record, im getting beats and punishment, might get exculded permanatly, might go to a different country. what do i do to make it less worse any ideas 14 btw for any confusion
DownrightDrewski: Yep, you fucked up; the consequences will almost certainly be less severe than you think.
Stop being a thieving little prick and start paying more attention in school as your English teacher would be disgusted by this post.
Side note - I can almost imagine this happened where I grew up.
Limp-Albatross-424: And what do mean by its less servere than i think as when i was in isolation in school i calculated it the total cost of what we stole and then pay it back if we have to and i searched up the consequences for things and apparently if under £200 u can do community service, get fined, go to jail for 6 months or less idk but i think this can happen if they press charges which they have probably have done already but it is what it is
DownrightDrewski: You're not going to jail, and you're very unlikely to even see any community service. You'll get a slap on the wrist with a fine at worst; it sucks, but it's not as bad as it could be.
Edit - jail, ffs, we don't have jail in the UK. We have prison.
Limp-Albatross-424: Well thanks for clearing things up but the police might be coming to my school for a meeting with my parents if my dad comes back on monday i dont believe so i think he coming back on wednesday but idk what they will do
DownrightDrewski: Yeah, they're trying to scare the shit out of you to stop you from fucking your life up; I hope it is working.
One of the best things that happened to me was the local police officer taking me aside and telling me to stop risking fucking my life up by becoming a drug dealer- I was selling small amounts of hash.
Don't fuck your life up, don't be a criminal.
Edit - that last line.. I can't, I can't be that hypocritcal, I'm smoking a spliff so I'm technically a criminal. I'm not a dealer though, and I've got a fairly decent corporate job.
Limp-Albatross-424: i mean everyone does it time to time i dont smoke at all never have i and i believe i never will but ive seen that some political leaders even take drugs my brother does it too
| 7 | 4.571429 | |
1653067936 | 1653070616 | t3_uu356r | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by butt dialing the very person I was making fun of as I entertained a large group.
[deleted]
1horsefacekillah: Is this Rudy Giuliani posting again?
Limp-Albatross-424: wrong post i thought it was mine mb
1horsefacekillah: Haha. I almost replied: "read ANY paper in the world, damnit."
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1653068718 | 1653078727 | t3_uu3ja4 | t5_2to41 | 11 | starlight_aesthete: TIFU by using expired milk in my cinnamon latte
So I came home from school yesterday (yes it’s not technically today) and I was BEAT. I had just finished weightlifting and I had an intense cheer tumbling class two hours later. Finals are next week. So naturally I’m exhausted. I don’t drink energy drinks and I only drink coffee once a week but I needed a boost. My mom only drinks straight espresso (she’s wild) but I need some sweetness so I decided to make a cinnamon dolce latte with her espresso k-cups. I popped the cup in the machine and let it brew. Then I mixed up some cinnamon dolce syrup in the saucepan. It came out well and the espresso was done brewing so it was time to add in the milk to the syrup saucepan. The milk gallon was mostly full so I didn’t bother to check the expiration date since we go through milk pretty quickly in my house. I poured in the milk into the pan and stirred. It was pretty smooth but once it was in the pan there were a few tiny lumps. I didn’t worry about it, assuming it was the syrup clumping. I stirred it with my whisk on low heat but it wasn’t combining smoothly. I took it off the heat, thinking I heated it too quickly. But it would NOT combine. Since I rarely make coffee at home I didn’t know this was really weird until it starting SMELLING. And oh boy did it *smell*. It separated into a weird foggy liquid and these huge chunks of cinnamon dolce SOUR CREAM. Yeah the now sour cream had mixed with the syrup to make this godawful stench. I poured it down the drain, still not realizing it was expired, thinking I heated it too fast. I went to try again, then my brother pointed out it was expired. It was only expired by two days so I gave it a whiff and holy hell it smelled like sour cream that had been sitting in a raccoon carcass for four days. I threw out the milk. So I never did get a latte and ended up drinking iced espresso. Guess mothers do know best ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TL;DR: I attempted to make a cinnamon dolce latte unknowingly using expired milk which then made cinnamon dolce sour cream and foggy stench liquid.
DoIKnowYouHuman: *TIFU by having a cinnamon latte when it’s not Christmas
starlight_aesthete: IT IS ALWAYS CHRISTMAS
DoIKnowYouHuman: Happy festivus!
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1653069609 | 1653109681 | t3_uu3uzg | t5_2to41 | 350 | [deleted]: TIFU kicked my only friends I have out of my house
[deleted]
Electronic-Shift7886: OP I would slow down with the babies. Your husband is in the mental hospital and you are going to ask him for another one when he gets out. Chill. You both need time to process, relax and work on yourselves, and your children.
Mommabear126: You might be right about that but I LOVE being a mommy! I would have 10 babies if I could!
IanFoxOfficial: YOU want babies. Does he? Do they want to be born in such a home?
Can you provide those babies... HUMANS what they need?
Yeah they're cute as fuck when they're a baby, I get all googly eyed too looking at the first pictures of our son. But that little guy grows up and needs parents to guide him through life.
Can you provide that to fullest to ALL of them? Or do you just want the cute eat/sleep/poop/cuddle/repeat machines?
Mommabear126: Yes. I’m not good at a lot of things but being a mother is one of them.
LianeP: Have you thought about the possibility that mental illness is inheritable? It can and does run in families. Are you willing to risk the future mental health of your children because YOU want babies??? A good mother puts the health and welfare of her children first.
As others have said, adding another child to the situation when your husband will need time to heal and get his feet back under him is just adding fuel to the fire. Get yourself some counseling and some new friends.
Mommabear126: Yes. My daughter does not have any sort of mental disorders.
Before she was considered we made sure and were made clear his mental state is not genetic, and he will father healthy children.
We were prepared to take the adoption route
LianeP: Not once in any of your responses have you acknowledge that you too need counseling. Your dependence on him is way unhealthy. And you want to add another child to this mix??
Mommabear126: I am in therapy.
BotJovi35: That's good, and I don't think it's fair for everyone to jump down your throat right away when emotions are still running high for you.
That being said, I would highly consider waiting to ask your husband for another child after he gets out. I admire your integrity to not even consider cheating, even under peer pressure, and I think that shows good character.
It seems like you may be wanting to ask your husband for another child both for yourself, but also to show him that you still love him despite his mental illness, which is a good thought, but isn't a great idea in practice.
You can show him that you still love him very much, in many other ways. I think it would be beneficial for him to see that you still care about him and not just children for a little while after he is out, and then the conversation about children can open back up later.
I would also caution you not to assume your current child is mental illness free. Most manifest much later in life, typically late teens into early adulthood. If you praise or otherwise incentivize not showing symptoms of mental illness, they may not open to telling you about their illness in the future. I say this because this was the case for me.
Please don't take the criticisms harshly, as I mean them in the best way possible. I just think you may benefit from taking a step back before having more children. Medical technology has advanced such that the max age women can safely have children has increased substantially. I simply urge you not to rush.
Mommabear126: Thank you for this. I took a screenshot of it ❤️
Young_L0rd: Yeah but did you read it?
Mommabear126: Absolutely! Yes I would love another baby but it is obviously something down the road. I think I’ll give him about 5 or 6 months to settle in before finding a way to ask him in a way he’ll have no problem saying no to.
Now that you mention it maybe there is a small part of me want to ask him to show him that I love him and that he is in fact an amazing father and I’d like to expand our family.
Yes of course there is a chance but it is very unlikely we’ve been told by professionals.
Thank you
Young_L0rd: I think this was a very self aware comment. You're on your way. Maybe just focus on supporting him on what must be a shitty moment for him. Your presence and love will be enough. You can have as many kids as you want when the moment is right!
Mommabear126: I hope so ❤️
| 15 | 23.333333 | |
1653070473 | 1653147038 | t3_uu4685 | t5_2to41 | 9 | medieval_revolver: TIFU by arguing with my mum and her finding "the sock", boys, you know the one
Never thought my first post would be on here.
So I, (14M) was having an argument with my mum about homework or something, I was just about to storm out the door to school when she says,
"You have to where a jumper because your shirt hasn't been ironed."
To which I say "I have never even ironed a shirt, when was the last time you ever ironed a shirt"
"A while ago" she says
"Exactly! You're a hypocrite. Maybe if you ironed your own things I might take some initiative and do it myself"
So clearly this was lying in her head for a while because I get a text saying "I ironed your shirts, see!"
I thought great, she's really taking things into her own hands.
But another thing we argued about was how I never clean my room so I guess her thinking was, "I should clean his room too to really make my point clear"
Unfortunately whilst cleaning my room she must've found "the sock" the famed sock many boys will be familiar with.
So she leaves to go out with friends this afternoon and I go up to my room to find its looking really clean. Then I see another spot cleaned, the hiding spot for you know what. She hasn't brought it up because my friend was with me at the time but I know she knows because it isn't there anymore. If she brings it up I'll be mortified, hoping we just never speak of this but I don't trust my mum to do that.
TL;DR I had an argument with my mum so she thought she'd make an example and cleaned my room, leading to her finding the sock for, well you know, the beating of one's meat
Ninja77Yogi20JB21: Jesus I get your 14 but grow tf up. shes your mother not your slave. Have some fucking respect for her
medieval_revolver: I don't push her to do any of my cleaning and in our house we rarely iron. But she always rules with an iron fist (unironically) and she's always been more of a "do as I say not as I do" type parent. I do respect her but our arguments often get out of hand and I regularly apologise first. I never told her to go and iron my stuff or clean my room yesterday, I'll take the blame and I'll try to be better
| 3 | 3 | |
1653070825 | 1653090046 | t3_uu4amh | t5_2to41 | 63 | Wolfer7098: TIFU by writing a highly graphic fan fic for a friend, and accidentally writing it under my school google account
For background context, (this happened in February) one of my friends on discord has a crush on a video game character (albedo from genshin impact). For their 18th birthday, I thought what would be a better way to give them a gift, than to write them a long fan fiction of a relationship between them and the character. So I did this, and it ended up being 2159 words long according to the google doc. After sending it to them and then reading it, they loved it and said it was really hot.
But here’s where I realize I fucked up. Fast forwards to the next Tuesday, when I’m sitting in AP Statistics, I get called up to the front office. I thought not much of it, until the assistant principal sat me down and started off the conversation with “We are about to have a really uncomfortable conversation about something we saw on your google doc account”. At this point I just absolutely died inside cringing at the situation, and he explained how I should not have this stuff on my account, and I just blatantly admitted that it was an accident, and I didn’t notice I wasn’t using my home account. He did emphasize “Dude, this is some really graphic stuff”, and mentioned that all the administrators at the school got around 50 alerts from it because of how graphic it was (the alerts are supposed to detect self harm and abuse). He did mention that he wasn’t going to tell my parents because he couldn’t imagine what they would say if they saw it, and thank god for that. He just told me to get rid of it, and that was it.
TLDR; I wrote a highly graphic fan fic for a friend, left it on a school google doc account, got busted by the school
someusername47: Damn, if my school checked our Google doc accounts like that I would have been majorly fucked.
Sad_toast347: what did you have that would get you punished?
someusername47: Well, I tried to keep most of the really scandalous things on my personal account but I was careless and had plenty of graphic fan fiction on my school account, even some about my math teacher who I had a bit of a crush on! And I'd be shocked if there wasn't a nude photo or two or ten on there.
| 4 | 15.75 | |
1653073100 | 1653086000 | t3_uu52o6 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Hot_Sprinkles8008: TIFU by having my phone at work
So, I work in a nursery. Atmy nursery there is a no phones on you at all times policy. At the end of my shift I asked my deputy manager what the time was because I thought it was the end of my shift and she gave a very vague answer because she didn’t really know, so I ( my phone in my pocket because I forgot to take it out at the start of my shift) just checked my phone briefly out of sheer habit and she looked shocked and said you mustn’t have your phone here. I apologised profusely and went inside to say goodbye to my manager. Turns out in the minute, and I mean literally about 30 seconds to a minute between me having the conversation with the deputy manager and we going inside the deputy manager had told my manager that I had my phone on me. As soon as i entered the room my manager told me that it was a serious safeguarding issue for me to have my phone on me and that if it happened again she would have to issue me with a verbal warning. Now I’m just so embarrassed and ashamed and feeling very upset that I was told off because I’ve been a goody two shoes all my life and I hate being told off.
TL;DR I fucked up by having my phone on me during my shift at work in a nursery and checking it at the end of my shift. I’m not sure what the actual consequences of this of this fuck up are because because I didn’t use my phone during my shift but apparently it’s a big safeguarding issue to have your phone on you during your shift and I’ve been told I will get a warning if it happens again.
Lovingnarc1976: I work at a daycare and we have that same stupid policy. Although they’re napping and I’m on my phone right now. Lol. Just don’t get caught again. But a verbal warning isn’t that bad.
conifer13: I imagine it's less about your attention being on the phone instead of the kids and more about the fact that you could photograph/record the kids.....which is all kinds of no-no of course! Is a blanket ban too strict? Possibly, but it's one of those rules where being too lenient could mean major shit for your employer and they need to cover themselves.
Lovingnarc1976: I actually kind of wondered if part of it was to help prevent people from taking pics of the kids, because if not, it seems kind of excessive.
| 4 | 3 | |
1653074156 | 1653197526 | t3_uu5g8o | t5_2to41 | 12,317 | chumbucketbaby: TIFU by joining my work groupchat and now I feel like throwing up. (UPDATE)
Original Post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utamby/tifu\_by\_joining\_my\_work\_groupchat\_and\_now\_i\_feel/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utamby/tifu_by_joining_my_work_groupchat_and_now_i_feel/)
Thank you for the awards on my post and the nice comments from most of you!
Update:
I just got back from work and I did not expect my post to blow up? Thank you?? Crazy. I did not sleep well at all, I went to work super nervous and stressed this morning. Basically, I got called into a meeting with my entire management team and our main boss. They understand that it is my personal and private account - so I am not in trouble for that. However, I did get reprimanded for professionalism. There was concern about image and how I am representing the company. I should mention that this meeting was 45 minutes long and I cried - but I did not get fired! Overall, I think this will blow over it was just a very embarrassing situation for me.
Addressing some of the comments:
For those asking why I found the image hilarious - it was honestly because of the dildo in Iron Mans ass. Also because of the fact that people genuinely draw images of Captain America and Iron Man fucking. I'm a big Marvel fan idk. I am also not secretly a gay man? because I'm a woman? soooo.
For those saying I was being ageist. I used the term 'older people' because they are older than me, not because I think they are old. I am aware 40 and 50 year olds have seen pornography and gay sex before lmao.
Also, I'm not American.
TL;DR
I got reprimanded but not fired.
Here is a link to me telling the friends mentioned about the whole situation for anyone wondering of the aftermath: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1490361790
MistressLiliana: > I'm not fucking American.
Unlike Iron Man.
mrjonesv2: OP’s new office name should be Captain not fucking America.
Captain_Comic: But if Iron Man is already fucking Captain America(n), how could OP?
Larauder: Buddy, i hate to break it to ya, but the guy said that OP should be called "Captain *not* fucking America", because clearly Iron Man is the one fucking America ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Captain_Comic: Don’t call me buddy, pal
Pynchon_A_Loaff: Don’t call me pal, chief.
Dogbone921: Don't call me chief, brother.
No-Passage-5545: Don’t call me brother, dude.
Asukurra: Don't call me dude, guy.
SayuriShigeko: Don't call me guy, friend.
PocketsPlease: Don't call me "friend", mate.
Asukurra: And don't call me Shirley
| 13 | 947.461538 | |
1653074910 | 1653409705 | t3_uu5pm4 | t5_2to41 | 250 | Ace-Of-Mace: TIFU by driving my friend’s car without a license.
Sorry - this is going to be long but I promise it’s worth the read. This actually happened a while back. When I was a teen (16 f), I had my learner’s permit and a friend of mine (18 m) let me drive his car. My best friend (14 f) was in the passenger seat. We were going down the road shortly after sunset and all of a sudden I saw blue flashing lights behind my car. I panicked. I had never been pulled over before or had any problems with the law. I started panicking because in my state the adult is supposed to be in the front seat when teaching someone with a learner’s. My friend in the back also started panicking because he had a marijuana bowl in the back of the car (marijuana was very illegal back then). He also had never been pulled over before, so he thought for sure they were going to search the car and find his bowl. We were really naïve back then.
The road I was on didn’t have any way to pull off of it. So I attempted to drive onto the curb to pull over (I literally had no idea what I was doing). The curb was really high off the ground. This caused the car to be at an angle. I put the car in park and then tried to get my friend to switch places with my friend in the passenger seat. He was less worried about that and more worried about the paraphernalia in his car. So he’s looking around on the floor under all the trash in the back trying to find the bowl. At this point I decided to help him. I lean into the back and start digging around through the trash.
All of a sudden, we all felt a huge jolt. At first I didn’t know what had happened, but then I realized: the cop hit our fucking car!!!! We all start freaking out. My friend in the passenger seat is yelling absolute nonsense and I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I turn back around and continue to search for the bowl. Then BAM! the cop rammed the car again!!! *What the hell?!? Is he trying to fucking kill us?!?!* I’m panicking. On the verge of tears. My friend is still screaming. I finally look at her and get her to stop screaming nonsense so I can figure out what she’s saying. “PUT THE CAR IN PARK!!!!” she yelled at me. Confused, I looked up. The car was in reverse. The cop hadn’t been hitting us - I had been hitting him.
I put the car in park and feel myself dying inside. But not all was lost - my friend in the back had finally found his bowl. I see the light from a flashlight. The cop is approaching. He stops at the front of his car to access the damage and then starts walking toward me. When he’s right next to the side of the car, my friend in the back decides now would be a great time to dispose of the bowl. He puts the window down on the other side and tosses the bowl into the grass. Except it doesn’t hit the grass, it hits the sidewalk. There’s a clanking sound as the bowl bounces. The flashlight turns toward the sound. The cop walks behind the car and finds the item. Then returns to my window.
I roll the window down. We just look at each other. The cop has a look on his face that says “did I possibly pull over the dumbest group of people on the planet?” He asks for my license and registration. I break the news to him. Dumbfounded, he asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” No, I say. “Because your front license plate is crooked. Also you have too much stuff hanging from your rear view mirror. I was going to ask that you take it down. But now….” and he proceeds to list off all the things he can charge me with. Possession. Driving without a license. Assault on an officer‘s vehicle. He asks that I step out of the car.
I’ve seen enough episodes of Cops. Obviously he wants to search me. I get out of the car and put my hands on the roof of the car. He laughs and says “No, just….go get in my car please.” *Taking me straight to jail then. Alright.* I walk to the back of his car and try to get in. It’s locked. “The FRONT of the car.” I walk to the passenger side and get in while he’s re-examining the front of his car. There was no damage to his car. Those cars are built to ram. My friend’s car on the other hand….
He gets in. Asks if I’ve been smoking pot. Tells me he has a stick in the back of his car that, if he puts it in my mouth, can determine if I’ve smoked pot in the last 24 hours. That if I lie to him he’s taking me in. I confess to smoking pot earlier in the day. I now know no such stick exists.
He questions all of us. In the end he actually lets us go. But not before he writes my friend up for possession. And tells him not to let me drive. My friend never let me drive his car again.
TLDR: I drove my friend’s car without a license, got pulled over, panicked, rammed a police car, and got my friend charged with possession of paraphernalia.
Catchfades: I can’t believe he let you go!
Remember if you’re caught driving under the influence you will lose your license for a year and your insurance will be ridiculously expensive until you are an older adult.
Not to mention community service, AA meetings, and all the paperwork and fees.
Be careful, you got lucky and don’t take the luck too far!
Enjoy your youth!
Hit and run usually has the same issues too.
Only mentioning this so hopefully you do not suffer with unnecessary loss!
(1 year suspension under age driving)
Ace-Of-Mace: I actually wasn’t under the influence in the moment (I had smoked a little pot earlier in the day but was completely sober when this all went down). I think he suspected I was high considering everything that had happened, but when he realized I was just young and inexperienced at driving he decided to give me a pass. He was also young himself, so maybe he sympathized with us a little.
Also, editing to add: this was over 20 years ago. I have definitely wised up since then. I don’t even like how pot makes me feel anymore, and now it’s legal in my state. Go figure lol.
Catchfades: Haha oh shit! My careless reading (I was high) made me skim through when you mentioned it was some time ago!
My sincere apologies! I try to pass this knowledge on to youth to swerve their chances of a DUI and saving a life or two!
Lost a group of friends because the driver was drunk.
Once more, my apologies!
Ace-Of-Mace: Hey no problem! I actually appreciate you looking out for me and any other young person who might be reading this. 😊
Catchfades: Have a great week Ms. Ace-Of-Mace and stay kicking ass! :3
| 6 | 41.666667 | |
1653074109 | 1653115604 | t3_uu5fn5 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Jefreaky: TIFU by trying too help and screwing my best friend in Dota 2.
So this happened just minutes ago...
I was jamming a custom map in Dota 2 called Dawn of War, basically you pick heroes and build them up and your teams fight each other. There is also a ranking system for it and me and my friend play quite often and are a bit intense about performing well.
The fuck up starts with me queueing us for a map that is solo, we always play co-op so we are always in the fight together, instead of a random rotation.
BTW I am drunk as hell and stoned on top of it, so we play the solo and if we do well enough we will gain rank instead of lose rank. My friend is not doing so well but things can turn around often, he has 10% HP left and he goes into battle, I mistakenly think I am against him so I take all items off my most powerful and only built hero, saying I have done it to keep him in the game, he hits me with you fucking moron, you know I am on your team right now right??? After a few seconds I just start laughing absolutely hysterically, on a video call with him.
Needless to say he came dead last because of me, I laughed so hard he hung up... Took me 20 minutes to stop laughing but I still am a bit. Best bud does not want to play anymore tonight and I cannot blame him.
TLDR; screwed my friend in a game causing him to come dead last, when I was trying to keep him in the game and didn't realize we were on the same team that round. He is super pissed, hung up on me as I laughed in his face and could not stop
liammcginleyy: Who gets that mad over losing a game
Jefreaky: He does not actually get that mad when he loses, what really got to him was the laughing, I mean it was seriously overboard, he told me to call back when I was done and was cool which is how he has always been. Best friends for over 15 years, we never fight but sometimes he is blown away by the stupidity of his friends :D
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1653078772 | 1653272357 | t3_uu71ai | t5_2to41 | 2 | VisceralVixen69: TIFU by letting a bully finally get to me
Another person in my field has decided to openly stalk, and harass me. She has sent users to come tell me they would rape me, kill me, body shame me, she has mass reported me and tried to get me banned over lies. I've been accused of prostitution... for months she has tortured me, and I have done nothing but block and ignore it, and continue on with my life as though this all wasn't happening.
Why was she doing this? I honestly don't know. I have honestly NEVER contacted her. This woman, is in every way, a stranger. Not a single word, exchange, pleasantry, message, nothing has ever passed between the pair of us. But she has been doing this for nearing 2 months straight.
And now, today, I am being blasted on Twitter, accused of bullying her so severely that she attempted to take her own life the other day.
This.... i..I... I don't have words for how vile this is. I'm a fucking suicide survivor, and have lost more friends to their own hand than I can count off of the top of my head.
I just... I'm angry, I'm hurt, and I am so deeply triggered I don't have words for this. What the fuck? How do I even begin to cope? I'm being painted as this monster all over, and yet in reality, right now I am being attacked and shoved into a corner helpless.
This woman is trying to ruin my professional life, trying to ruin my income, my image. I just... I don't even have words, I've just been crying nonstop.
This has so deeply fucked with my head, I can't even begin to explain. I fucked up so deeply by allowing this to affect me this severely.
TLDR: I allowed a vicious bully to mentally affect me today. I fucked up.
DrOctaganis: What is her name or username on whatever platform?
VisceralVixen69: This is not gonna turn into a pissing match. I'm not saying her username.
DrOctaganis: Ok
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1653080147 | 1653082186 | t3_uu7ic3 | t5_2to41 | 5 | AdamAptor: TIFU totally making love to my hot wife and someone maybe heard us, oh no!
[removed]
AdamAptor: This really happened, like for realsies. Why would I lie on the internet?
uptousflamey: If this really true then you would not be posting on Reddit.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653080817 | 1653081292 | t3_uu7r2o | t5_2to41 | 10 | Special-Care2810: TIFU by writing a smutty story in the store.
So some background context: I’m a fanfiction writer. I don’t have that big of a following and only write mostly smut.
So I’m at the store, I’m sitting there looking through my list, I look back to my phone to continue writing. This is a priest AU, and I’m sitting at one of the dirtiest parts. I’m reading this repeatedly, thinking, “hmm, I should probably go back to shopping before I continue.” I look up to see a fully dressed priest, who is looking at me from afar at my pentacle. (I’m a pagan.)
He asks me the same question “what is your relationship with Jesus.” Blah blah blah. When I tap my phone to keep it on, he sees what I’m writing. “Oh..” That was all he said. He gave me a small lecture before leaving, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
TL/DR: I was writing heavy smut at the store, and a priest noticed my pentacle and tried to give me “the Jesus talk.” before seeing my phone.
MilkyButter42: Shoulda asked if this was a church you were shopping in? He says no? Ok then mind your own goddamn business.
Skid_sketchens_twice: Stress the god part and say it in vein. That'll really get em.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1653080244 | 1653081901 | t3_uu7jk3 | t5_2to41 | 6 | JamesBCFC1995: TIFU by doing what my manager told
Through doing this I was looking up on the camera frequently to check there was no one waiting at reception still (and the manager was there anyway). And I'm just started on the extras when he came in, asks me if I'm going to sit there doing that all night (had been going about 15 minutes total) or "actually help him at all".
I got riled up at this because I was doing the exact task I had been told to do.
At this point a person had come to reception and he said I needed to be there.
I went back into reception with him, and he had already dealt with the customer. I then tried to do one of the paperwork tasks as the audit had finished and got an error message when opening the spreadsheet (I think due to it being open on another computer) at this point he starts lecturing me about me not knowing what to do even though I knew exactly what I was doing for this task.
At this point I'm getting frustrated, and try to tell him this but each time I try to speak to him he cuts me off.
I left the reception to the changing room to try and calm down and am followed by him saying if I keep going I'll be fired.
Punched the changing room door, broke a knuckle, part of my wrist and fucked up another finger (no damage done to the door, as I found out its pretty solid).
Last night slipped while cleaning and landed on my bad hand, so that's not helped.
Then tonight just before leaving for work got a phone call saying they're letting me go because this happened on my probation period.
I should have handled it better, but I've always been quick to anger when I felt a telling of was unjust.
TL;DR did what I was told to do, got told off. This angered me, punched door, broke hand and got sacked.
El_Burrito_Supremo: If you’re in the US, go to the hospital for the injury to your hand (the fall and broken knuckle) and say it happened while at work and needs to be a Workers Compensation treatment. If your story is true, then it you are not lying and it doesn’t matter that you are fired now. Don’t let your hand not get treated and maybes have permanent damage,
You did absolutely handle the work situation wrong. But learn from this and move forward.
JamesBCFC1995: Am in the UK, went to the hospital once my shift ended.
Hand is in a cast now, 2 fingers strapped together and I got to go back again in just over a week to check the wrist because the bone I damaged there is notorious for not healing well (or words to that effect- at the time I got there I'd been awake over 16 hours and I have ADHD so focusing on diagnoses is tough at the best of times for me)
Haven't been since the fall, I actually landed harder on the base of my spine which has been agony all day today whether I sit, stand or even bend at all. Taken some painkillers but almost no difference since taking them.
El_Burrito_Supremo: I get it. Glad you got taken care of for some of the injuries taken care of.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1653081242 | 1653098388 | t3_uu7wj8 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Wise_Association_462: TIFU by being a horrible person in every aspect of my life.
TIFU, well, not only today but my whole life by being a horrible person. But today it got all clear
I have issues with talking way more than necessary so this is a strong effort trying to sum it up the best I can.
I (17M) got into a horrible fight with my parents last Wednesday. The fight continued until today. It basically started because I did fuck up and really badly. And every time I have problems with my parents it’s obviously because I fuck up. But the biggest fuck up is that it want until today that I finally understood that I’m a general fuck up. My huge and fragile ego and my desire to feel superior to others made me do huge mistakes and not see them my whole life.
I’m realizing how toxic my way of interacting with others and seeing life is. I’m aggressive, not physically but I have an issue with controlling my mouth and attitude when I get frustrated or corrected by someone else. I’m sarcastic and make jokes which many times Can go way too far and end up hurting someone or making them feel I hate them even though it’s not the usual case. I envy lots of good things that people do or have and my way of releasing it is by judging them and making them feel bad for it. I’m manipulative and have issues with having an authority above me. I am lazy as hell and have always thought the good things I have now are forever which obviously isn’t true. And in general I can’t control my feelings and strong insecurities.
There have been things in my life that I do think affected me in some way to develop this personality. I’ve been bullied since kinder garden (it stopped in the middle of highschool, thanks a lot pandemic), my parents have a horrible marriage with violent verbal attacks to each other in front of us commonly since I have memory, and I myself have had always issues with coping and understanding social norms.
With all these fights lately I’ve realized that yes, my past was really fucked up, and I feel like lots of people were too hard on me when I was younger, but now with my age only I can and need to change this instead of blaming others for this and staying the same shitty son, friend, brother, etc.
I just had to let go somewhere I finally understand how fucked up I am. And I’ll do my best to change.
Tl;dr one of the worst fights I’ve had in my life lead to me to realize I’m a total fuck up and need to change ASAP before my life is ruined. I hope I still have time and my parents want to give me a chance
Zarnong: ^ You’ve got two people giving you pretty solid advice. Sounds like you’ve dealt with a lot and have some work to do with coping skills. Watching parents in a bad marriage can really mess you up. So can bring bullied. Here’s the thing, if you were a bad person, you wouldn’t care about your mistakes. The fact that you want to make changes speaks well of you. I’d like to second the idea of finding a third party to talk with about all this-ideally a counselor/therapist. Confidentiality is huge. If you are in the US, check the psychology today website for listings. Great resource in terms of finding out about therapists and who they are. Other advice-be careful about fixating on past mistakes. Find what you can learn from them and apply next time. Apologies (when appropriate) can help. I’d like to echo that you are 17 and this is the stage people begin to reflect in their actions more. Be gentle with yourself while you make changes. I wish you well.
Wise_Association_462: Thanks, you’re probably right, I’m not a bad person or at least not from the worst. I’ll take the advice to seek a therapist. I’ve been to therapy when I was younger but all those shitty psychologists never helped me, they were only paid so I could tell them my most personal thoughts thinking I have privacy and then they told everything to my parents. So I need to look for someone on my own.
Zarnong: I’m glad you are headed that way and guarding your privacy.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1653082499 | 1653102769 | t3_uu8bqz | t5_2to41 | 149 | yourdadisabean: TIFU Talks Episode #6 Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU talks!
keksivaras: I'm too insecure to speak. even my keyboard suggested me to write this
yourdadisabean: It’s okay bro if you wanna come on I’ll have you
keksivaras: I tried to tune in, but it said it's over
edit: kind of had a tifu. I left my sim 1 on, I have 2 sims on my phone and it caused me to lose +20h of progress
yourdadisabean: There will be a recording on my page in a bit!
keksivaras: sorry, I edited my comment, because I have a bad habit of talking before thinking when I'm drunk. but maybe I'll join next time.
are these live events recorded every time? I wouldn't mind joining one, at least after having few drinks?
yourdadisabean: As far as I know they’re recorded so yeah I’ll get you on next time just send me a dm
keksivaras: what do people think about people who don't speak English natively?
yourdadisabean: We have many people from all countries come on, everyone is fine w it
| 9 | 16.555556 | |
1653082965 | 1653084692 | t3_uu8hd3 | t5_2to41 | 27 | mortalbug: TIFU by getting into a physical fight with a cat
Oblgitory not today, but many years ago.
I haven't been in a physical fight since I was in school. Well, not with a human at least...
So, I had a cat. She was originally a stray and when we took her in was super-scared of everything and hid under the sofa for several days. Over time she got used to us though and became the most awesome cat. Would meet you at the door. Loved cuddles. Liked to 'talk' to get your attention etc. We'd had her for over 18 years and while she was getting skinny and showing her age she was still doing brilliantly.
We had a cat flap so she could go out and explore, which she loved to do (UK. Don't get the keeping all cats inside all the time in the US. Sure, if you're in the middle of a city, but if not, cats like to cat). That is if you count exploring as lying in the sun in the back garden as, being old, she couldn't be arsed with climbing the fence anymore. We also didn't have one of those locks on the cat flap so only your cat can come in or out (important fact that was rectified after the 'event').
So, I go out with some mates and get home about 1am. I hear a load of noise coming from the kitchen, so go to investigate. I found a big tom-cat, twice my cats size, pinning my cat down and attacking her in the middle of the kitchen floor. I go to grab the cat and it spins around on the floor and attacks me, leaving deep scratches on my hand and arm.
I didn't plan it or had any thought, just a reaction. My reaction was to punch that fucker full in the face. The cat dropped for literally 1-2 seconds fully sprawled out on the floor. The invader shakes, gets up and bolts for the cat flap a bit wobbly. The cat misses the cat flap and runs into the door. Shakes again then makes it outside and disappears for ever (did see it around the neighbourhood, but never saw it near the house again).
My cat was shaken, a little scratched and cowering in the corner. Some hugs and treats fixed that and the lockable cat flap was bought the next day.
Don't really know who won that fight, as while I knocked that furry little bastard out, I had to have a tetanus shot and many years later still have scratch scars on my hand.
I'm not proud of my reaction, and think there were lots of better ways of dealing with the situation, but still feel it was justified. My biggest fuck up was not getting a lockable cat flap sooner.
TL:DR stranger cat got in the house and attacked my elderly cat. Fight ensued with me ending up punching the cat and knocking it out. Tetanus shot taken and scars remain.
SalleighG: A friend of mine in western California regularly mentions that cats in the small city are disappearing. The area has coyotes, and mountain lions, and foxes. The house cats are becoming prey.
... The point here being that areas that are not "big city" can also be dangerous for house cats.
The place I live now is suburb in a moderate sized area (3/4 million), but there are woods and wetlands a couple of blocks away. There are areas with foxes in parts of the city, and coyotes in other parts; I have seen coyotes about 5 blocks away.
mortalbug: Yeah, that's a fair point. Cats killing birds etc. Can be an issue in the UK, but there's not really any big predators that are gonna get a cat in a neighbourhood.
SalleighG: My friend despairs because some residents worn newcomers to the area, but the newcomers insist that _their_ cat (nothing ever happened to it in the area they lived before.) Then two weeks later the cat disappears and the new resident is searching for a "lost" cat...
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1653083532 | 1653146288 | t3_uu8o9f | t5_2to41 | 117 | veremos: TIFU by also answering “I’m alive” when asked “How are you?”
Didn’t happen today, but the TIFU on the front page reminded me of an event I’d rather forget and thought maybe some of you would find my discomfort worthy of a chuckle.
To preface this post, I’m a glass half empty kinda guy. My first post on this account is a plea for help on /r/suicidewatch. Since then, I’ve developed the habit of answering “I’m alive” to questions inquiring after my well-being and health. For me it’s a double-entendre: on the one hand it sounds like I’m miserable, but on the other I’m still here - I’ve beaten my desire to kill myself.
As a way to make friends I started social dancing a few years ago, I’m not particularly good but that’s also not particularly the point. I travel quite a bit and it’s an easy way to meet people of a similar background and interest.
In this particular situation, an older woman and I had been getting on friendly terms. We enjoyed dancing together and she was great at banter. She confided to me one day that over the weekend she would be marking the passing of her husband. I offered my condolences and that was that.
The following Monday, she greeted me with a fairly innocuous “How are you?” To which I responded, immediately recognizing my error, “Alive”. The poor woman looked as if she had been slapped in the face. I tried to recover, but the damage was done. From then on she was polite, but never friendly. And I’ve been carrying that shame of cruel insensitivity since.
TLDR: Told a woman mourning the death of her husband that I was alive.
gundam-alpha: Damn, sick burn dude!
Projectonyx: Bet she never saw that one coming!
| 3 | 39 | |
1653084039 | 1653095805 | t3_uu8ul8 | t5_2to41 | 27 | Of_Jotunheimr: TIFU by getting blood work done and traumatizing the staff.
So this happened yesterday:
I had some routine medical tests to have done because I just started with a new doctor. I decided to get it done in the morning before work because I needed to be fasting and the whole ordeal shouldn't take more than an hour tops. I have gotten blood drawn multiple times in the past so I pretty well knew what to expect (or so I thought).
Now, I have gotten lightheaded from this in the past but in that case they were taking a lot of blood. This time they couldn't have taken more then an ounce or two. I brought some Gatorade with me to help with the lightheadedness afterwards. The procedure itself went well and quickly. Before I knew it they had me bandaged up and ready to go. But then the fuckup set in ...
Yeah, funny story about my blood. Apparently I need ALL of it.
Before I could even try to stand up I started to feel nauseous and lightheaded. That feeling kept getting worse and worse until I, for lack of a better term, simply fell asleep. My vision blurred out to black and I experienced a short dream (which is odd because I don't normally experience dreams while sleeping). When I came-to I was sat in a the same chair but therevwere suddenly 5 HIGHLY concerned women staring at me and asking questions. Things like my name, where I am etc.
They moved me to a recliner and covered me in ice packs. One of the ladies was talking to the only responder who was not wearing scrubs. Apparently she was the one to call for help. She was getting the "you did good but you need to stay calm" shpeal. I remember her response clearly because she said "I'm sorry, I have just never seen someone seize like that before." And in my head I say "I'm sorry, WHAT?!" But out loud I just told her not to worry because I didn't remember any of it anyway. Though looking back I doubt that was as comforting as I meant for it to be.
They told me I was paper-white and needed to go to the ER to be evaluated. They ran a few more tests (which involved taking even more blood for some reason) and hooked me to a bunch of monitors and an iv of vluids. I got to spend the next 4 hours big chilling with probes and needles everywhere just trying to enjoy the knowledge that I was clearly not going to work today.
Side fuckup: I didn't pee that morning. I knew one of the other tests I had was a urinalysis and I didn't want to be unprepared. Well that test obviously didn't happen and I was really regretting that choice about now.
Thankfully I managed to avoid soiling myself somehow but those 4 hours were less than comfortable once I woke up enough to be able to feel my insides.
Eventually all the tests came back normal and they sent me on my way (to the restroom). It was concluded that I didn't actually have a seizure and for that matter there wasn't anything clinically wrong with me at all save for my slightly elevated cholesterol.
They told me it was likely a severe vasovagal episode (sudden drop in blood pressure stimulating the Vegas nerve and causing me to pass out if I am understanding it correctly) and also that it is somewhat normal to convulse when you pass out. I do get dizzy when I stand up too quickly sometimes and apparently this could be related?
Anyway I'm apparently fine and this is just something my body does sometimes. Nothing to worry about just gotta give people a heads up when they go to draw blood.
TLDR: I went in to have a really small amount of blood taken and ended up passing out and convulsing. I scared the daylights out of the staff but apparently there is nothing wrong with me and I got a free sick day out of the deal so it's a win win I guess.
HRDBMW: This happened to me once as well. I have never had an issue donating blood, or getting samples for labs drawn. But about 5 years ago, I was getting labs done for a routine physical, and realized I was about to pass out. I told the nurse "I am going to pass out now" and down I went, still in the chair. Woke up with 3 doctors and about 5 nurses hovering over me. And, nothing wrong with me at all. I got up, shook myself off, and drove home.
No clue why this happened, but if it has happened to others, and they have ideas... please respond to me.
Of_Jotunheimr: Wow lol glad it's not just me!
HRDBMW: I don't think this is common though. I REALLY want to know what happened.
Of_Jotunheimr: I can update in a few weeks after I talk to my gp but they are probably going to parrot what the ED doc said.
HRDBMW: I would appreciate it. Nothing came from my bloodwork. Scared the Hell out of me when it happened.
| 6 | 4.5 | |
1653083307 | 1653097665 | t3_uu8lg8 | t5_2to41 | 694 | [deleted]: TIFU when my epilepsy left me butt naked downtown.
[deleted]
YdoIhave2login: I'm sure you already are aware of this but showers are one of the most dangerous places for an epilectic episode. Your body will natually breath once unconcious and even a small puddle can kill you if you are unfortunate enough to land face down. There are fall alarms you can bring to public showers or even have at your home to alert someone to the situation, I know it might seem overbearing but please consider getting such a device as it might very well save your life one day.
Fro_o: Don't you have to press a button for those?
Cause if so, then they are useful for the elderly people but not so much for an epileptic person who doesn't feel the fainting coming?
TserTaAbmet: My mom uses a feature on her apple watch that will detect falls. Once it registers a fall, you have to confirm you're ok on the watch within 30 seconds, otherwise it automatically sends a message to your emergency contact and/or emergency services.
Fro_o: Oooh that's pretty neat! Didn't know it existed but that's really helpful!
Any-Confusion-4526: Ya, the new Apple Watches can detect falls and if you don't respond in a certain amount of time, it will automatically call rescue services and give your approximate GPS location.
okiepilgrim: Can confirm. Was building a fence a couple weeks ago and had to cancel mine 2 or 3 times.
| 7 | 99.142857 | |
1653085259 | 1653086072 | t3_uu99ow | t5_2to41 | 5 | undeadermonkey: TIFU by hitting on a gang member
[removed]
Spirited-Reputation6: Shrooms = Love
undeadermonkey: Meanwhile, I'm swallowing my fucking foot.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653085689 | 1653086244 | t3_uu9esm | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: tifu by needing the toilet during my gcse business exam
[deleted]
Peeptiger96: You poor thing. At least it wasn't no 2!!!
throwaway575668: yeah i have ibs aswell so actually have rly been worrying about that happening during an exam, luckily i’ve held it the times i’ve needed it though bc it’s usually towards the end when i finish it and then feel the urge bc i’m not concentrating on the exam
Peeptiger96: Best of luck for the rest of your tests I am sure you will smash it
throwaway575668: thank you, first week is finally done and had 1-2 exams per day, now i only have 3 next week and my first is on wednesday
just gotta keep taking imodium before every exam 😭😭😭
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1653085902 | 1653093824 | t3_uu9her | t5_2to41 | 41 | Grooveman94: TIFU trying to mess with my fiancée on a phone call
TIFU trying to mess with my fiancée on the phone
This happened just now. She’s still on the phone as I’m typing this so if I don’t answer, I died.
My fiancée got a call from her mom and I thought I’d start messing with her and yelled “babe, why didn’t you flush? I can see your whole turd. This is the biggest thing I’ve ever seen.”
WELL, my fiancée’s 93 year old grandma is counting down the end of her days. She’s going peacefully on her own terms. Hopped on morphine and feeling no pain.
As soon as I got done yelling that, I’m just staring at her with this dumb grin on my face ready for her reaction and to hear her mom laugh. My fiancée looked at me said “my grandma just died, shut up!”
So now I’m laying quietly in bed while my fiancée and her mom talk about the recently deceased, may she Rest In Peace.
TL;DR I yelled about her fake turd she left in toilet while she was on the phone learning of the passing of her grandma. Still on the phone…so far just told to be quiet and got a glare. Lol
shesavillain: idk why people like embarrassing others. I hate that shit.
Dirty_Hertz: Yeah, I don't get what's supposed to be funny about it
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1653091689 | 1653093924 | t3_uu99uo | t5_2to41 | 16 | BJntheRV: So leave him under your table, where at least he's not a tripping hazard and bothering other customers.
Rogue4Tabaxi: Dude you've got some anger issues. Chill.
bobadoot: No, you're just an asshole. Autistic or not, you child should not be running around a restaurant bringing down the experience of others. Don't use the fact your son is autistic to justify the behavior.
Any-Confusion-4526: Where did they say they were running around the restaurant? It specifically says he was underneath their table. So stop being an AH just to be an AH
bobadoot: Dude literally said he was gonna shoot it over the next booth to have him go look for it.
Rogue4Tabaxi: That meant the side of the table he was sitting on...I was across from him. So same table my booth and the next one over is his.
| 6 | 2.666667 | |
1653086532 | 1653086813 | t3_uu9osv | t5_2to41 | 1 | xerondotcom: TIFU By Ruining my Greatest Chance of Fucking my Sister
[removed]
Suitable_Zebra_3625: Your sped
xerondotcom: how am I a sped for sharing my life experience?
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1653087816 | 1653088157 | t3_uua3jy | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by jizzing in my pants while in a car with my cousin on my lap [19M]
[deleted]
diabolikul1: sweet home alabama
onesikfuk: 🤣
| 3 | 4 | |
1653088265 | 1653089636 | t3_uua8vl | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on my girlfriend
Yeah ik I’m an idiot. But use this story as a lesson as to why you shouldn’t cheat.
So I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. Well, not anymore, but we’ll get to that. For the most part our relationship hasn’t been too bad.
But I decided that I was gonna hook up with her best friend. Definitely a stupid idea but I was thinking with my dick. I went over to her place and we chatted for a while. Before long we started getting frisky. Which then led to us having sex.
It was going great, until suddenly I hear the door open. It was my girlfriend. I’m like, oh shit. She was pissed, let me tell you. I try to apologize but she isn’t having it.
What happened next is what made me regret doing this. She pulls out, from behind her back, a massive black dildo. This thing had to have been at least 10 inches long. She comes up to me, grabs the dildo, gets behind me, then shoves it up my ass. She pushed so hard that the entire thing went up there.
I let out a massive fucking scream. She then cussed us both out and told us to “have fun being pieces of shit together” and then left.
I had the friend pull the dildo out. It felt like taking the biggest shit ever. And a bunch of blood came out too, the dildo caused a bunch of tears inside my asshole.
I called the cops to report my girlfriend for shoving a dildo up my ass, but they just laughed at me and hung up. Idiots.
So yeah, don’t cheat on your girlfriend. Or something like this could happen.
TLDR: Cheated on my gf with her friend, she catches us, then shoves a massive black dildo up my ass, tearing up my asshole. Don’t cheat
TheAmethyst1139: You deserved that.
Also: how is “I was thinking with my dick” an excuse? I’ve always wondered how someone’s horniness could be stronger than the respect you should be feeling for your partner.
[deleted]: I deserved to get a dildo up my ass without my consent? Maybe you’re the one who really fucked up today, encouraging sexual assault.
StunningPause: Genuine question, were you standing with your back turn to her when she stuff the dildo up your ass or were you bent over asking for it?
Story doesn’t add up.
| 4 | -0.75 | |
1653090245 | 1653090844 | t3_uuaumt | t5_2to41 | 96 | ConnieJonnie: TIFU by showing up to a wedding dinner I wasn't invited to
This happened 30 minutes ago. I'm at a beach wedding happening tomorrow and there's an event later tonight. We are all staying at a resort together. I was hanging with someone who mentioned this dinner was happening before the event. Cool I thought! I didn't remember hearing about it but she insisted it was a thing so I went along with it..
So I got dressed up and showed up with her to this dinner and start greeting people I haven't seen in 6 years or so. I get a lot of confused looks from others and it gets silent for a second... one of my other friends whispers I wasn't invited to it. This was just for the wedding party. All my friends are part of this wedding party since they are bridesmaids. And they all brought there significant others which I also know. I awkwardly leave and go pace around my room freaking out about the mega awkwardness that just happened. I already had anxiety about this wedding so this was perfect
The best part is this resort only has one restaurant open and it's the one they are at... so I walk down the beach about 10 minutes so I don't have to eat at the same place they are. And now I'm drinking and trying to forget the events of the last hour. I'm not really mad or anything but I feel SO awkward and I have no idea how I'm gonna go to this event happening in 30 minutes with all of them. Truly the worst start to a wedding event where I was seeing all these people again for the first time since college.
TL;DR: My friend(meaning well) mentioned this dinner she didn't know was exclusive the night before the wedding. I didnt question it at all despite knowing the schedule for the weekend well. I show up to an awkward silence and quickly leave.
motty666: Have another drink bro, keep on laughing
ConnieJonnie: lol yep thats the only strategy I currently have!
| 3 | 32 | |
1653090278 | 1653228736 | t3_uuauz1 | t5_2to41 | 19 | BewWasTaken: TIFU by destroying two restrooms.
OK, for a little bit of background, I have never had to poop so badly that I needed to poop in school. EVER. That is just nasty... But today was different. I had some coconut water that looked like it had dirt in it (it was my water but i left it unprotected whilst chasing someone with a slipper) but i still drank it. I'm not sure if that was it or not, but I had to SHIT. First of all, I had to shit around 9:30-10, but I honestly thought it was just a stomach ache. Little did I know I was about to give birth to a fucking dookie monster. Basically though, the period i was in ended at 10, but on fridays i can go get free food, so i did that and left to my next class early. Later in the period though, I realized it was NOT just a stomach ache, I HAD A MONSTER IN MY TUMMY. I was on the verge of shitting my pants. But I don't know why, I did not go. But fastforward to 11:05, I start contemplating where to shit. I literally had to go to my GUIDANCE COUNCILOR to figure this out. I figured out that the best shitting location is the 2nd floor of our building, it has one stall and no one goes in there. So after passing my advisor, whom i could barely talk to, fending off the demon inside me, i just barely make it to the BUILDING. (i have a big campus). Okay, now i have 5 flights of stairs to climb. 1 to get up to the building, 3 to get to the first floor and another to the second. I see someone during the journey there, on the first floor. My legs being mildly sore from walking up 4 flights of stairs, my anal sphincters seemed to be affected to. So after him confronting me about my odd facial expressions, I told him about the whole fucking organ of shit that was about to come out. And during my final flight of stairs which I think some shit drippled out during, I made it. But it was a long ways from safety. Holding my ass cheeks together, I scurried to the men's restroom pushing people out of my way. Thank God no body else had to pull a devious feces dump like I was. After about 5 meters from the stairs, I was inside the bathroom. I made it! Now what to do... I'm just sitting here, no, im shitting! Oh my how I thought it was going to be a solid shit, nope, it was like emptying a half frozen gallon of water. And just like every time you empty water, theres ALWAYS some left inside. But, I was finished, for now... Wait, something's wrong, no flush? It's not flushing? Now look, it was not all liquidy, it was a lot of solid too. So I clogged a toilet... Great! And then basically, 30 minutes pass, after the 13 minutes i took to shit, and im in my advisory period. I had to inform my fellow educatees of the massive dump i took to explain the weird limping i have been doing. So when I asked to go to the bathroom, everyone knew what was about to go down... An astonishing 15 minutes later I return, with nothing but guilt that I had for the second toilet that I had killed in the span of an hour. But this beast is still inside me. I am home now, so round 3 will be the victory! I literally ordered food in an attempt to get all this shit out, since i have a long trip later. Wish me luck!
TLDR; I had never shat in school before but today I missed my lunch period taking a massive shit where i broke a toilet and 30 minutes later i took another 15 minute shit in the middle of advisory and destroyed another toilet and im going back for round 3 now.
S_A_R_K: Welcome to the adult world of shitting
BewWasTaken: im a 5'2 14 year old, how much shit could be inside me
ViewedFromi3WM: a buttload
BewWasTaken: a shit ton
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1653090446 | 1653092368 | t3_uuawq9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by locking the door from the inside and now the key doesnt open it anymore.
[deleted]
DangerousBill: Do you really think a locked door will keep skinwalkers out?
The good news is that they're really good with locks.
DangerousBill: Is there really a source of co2 in there, other than yourself? If there's a heater in there, you better get out whatever it takes.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1653094044 | 1653916930 | t3_uuby0m | t5_2to41 | 2,475 | PKUSteve: TIFU by calling my wife by my ex wife’s name in bed.
This happened at 12:07 am, just after midnight.
[RELEVANT] My beautiful wife is pregnant with our first son. She has really struggled with the illness and different types of afflictions throughout this pregnancy. I also work 60+ hours/week for a global manufacturer as a IT Architect. I am doing everything in the home so as to take the stress off of my dear wife.
[TIFU]
I had a late night at work, I got home later than planned because of traffic, I made dinner for us, cleaned the house a bit, prepped for tomorrow’s work, and got into bed around 11:45.
Throughout all of this my beautiful wife was up and smiling. We joked and acted silly as we went through the evening. It has been really rare for her to be active and happy. She has struggled with depression before pregnancy and now has health issues too. This evening was probably one of the best evenings we have had since our trip to Istanbul in 2021.
While laying in bed (just after midnight) and talking about the pregnancy, I told her that from behind she doesn’t look pregnant. The problem is that I called her by my ex wife’s name too. The compliment was carried on the edge of a blade.
Both of their names have the same ending, the names are close enough that I rarely use her name and call her honey or cutie. This is so that I can protect myself from making this exact mistake.
At first she played it off as a joke, then she got quiet for about 5 minutes, and then she said that it is stuck in her brain…
That is the last thing she has said to me. I apologized profusely and then waited for her anger.
It never came. It usually comes and we fight (about whatever) and then life returns to the miserable existence it was before.
To say I am exhausted is an understatement. I am literally burning myself out trying to keep the home life stable and work my great job. I get 4-5 hours of sleep a night (since March 2021) and I knew that eventually this stress would destroy me. I just didn’t think it would be at the hand of my favorite person in the whole world.
Tl;dr - I called my wife by the wrong name on one of the best nights of our marriage so far. It has been 20 hours and she still isn’t talking to me. May God have mercy on my soul.
stealth57: How long were you with your ex and how long have you been with your wife?
PKUSteve: I was with my ex for 14 years.
I have been with my wife 4 years (3 dating, 1 married).
stealth57: Well, myself being a woman, I hope she gives you a pass (after the warranted 3 days cold shoulder) since that’s a long time with your ex vs only 4 years. You dun goofed big time, but no one is perfect and your brain is mush from working a lot and helping your wife and also around the house so I hope she forgives soon.
coooper_the_scoooper: Yeah... a 3 day cold shoulder is *totally* warranted...
duncanopolis: Honestly…give the man a fuckin break holy shit
coooper_the_scoooper: Seriously. What fuckingninsane behavior to have your husband work 60 hours a week and he makes a slip of the tongue genuine mistake and you just... don't talk to him. What childlike behavior.
VincentVancalbergh: Pregnant women go a little nutso sometimes. Especially if they've been suffering from the pregnancy. They might be exhausted as well.
eivind2610: Exhaustion doesn't give you the right to treat your partner like crap. The husband is working 60 hours a week, *and* doing all the work in the home to 'take the stress off her'. At that point, she should have room to cut him some slack for an honest mistake made from exhaustion. He's been working himself to death, getting 4-5 hours of sleep per night for more than a year, and made one slip of the tongue.
Pregnancy is no excuse for (borderline) abusive behaviour. A relationship requires clear, two-way communication.
Dmau27: Yeah I'm sensing a little princess syndrome from his wife. "I shouldn't have to do shit and no matter what it'll never be enough". Working 60 hours AND doing everything else is damn near being a slave. Pregnant or not she needs to cut him some slack.
bestbainkr: I Don't think you know how depression works
Dmau27: I do actually. That doesn't mean I can't understand pushing someone that is helping me too far. Being used is being used. Depression or not one person can only take so much.
| 12 | 206.25 | |
1653094132 | 1653099805 | t3_uubyvp | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by just now realizing why I wasn't getting any response to my job applications
[deleted]
cheturo: I hate when parents pass fears to their children.
ban_circumcision_now: If they didn’t then religion would phase out kind of quick
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1653094479 | 1653097920 | t3_uuc2cs | t5_2to41 | 35 | Previous-Thing-7075: TIFU By going to IGA for breadsticks
So my wife and I are making spaghetti for dinner when I notice we don't have any breadsticks. We live in a "town" of 700 people and our only store is a Dollar General that has fuck all in it. So I decided I'm gonna go to the IGA that's 2 towns over (15 minutes) as they have a much better selection of food. I pull in to the town and get to a 4 way stop. In front of me are two cop cars parked sideways with their lights on blocking traffic. I saw a man walking back and forth between the cop cars and thought "oh, they got themselves a crazy guy" and proceeded to turn left on mainstreet to get to the IGA.
When I turned, I saw a that both sides of the street were lined with cars and people in lawn chairs with coolers next to them. I thought "oh shit" and proceeded slowly looking for a place to turn around. However, there was no place to turn around. The cops had tape strung across every side street that lead back to the main road and driveways had people sitting in them. I get to IGA but the store is closed with the parking lot full of people in lawn chairs again, so I kept moving down the street as there still wasn't a place to turn.
I come to the first stoplight on the street however cops are on both sides preventing me to turn. I get to the next intersection, same thing. Now I'm starting to freak the fuck out because the cops now have their sirens on and everyone is looking at me like "wtf". Finally, I get to a street that's not blocked off and turn on it. As I'm driving on this road I see a bunch of cars in a line with a firetruck in the middle with kids on it... it's a fucking parade and they are driving towards the intersection I need to get the hell out of there. I see a side road that goes back to mainstreet and I take it.
Now I'm back on the road I started on, hauling ass to get back to the 4 way stop. People are looking at me hardcore now and I'm feeling very uncomfortable. The parade is in sight and is heading towards me fast. Just in the Knick of time, I make it to the intersection and get the fuck out of there. My heart was racing and I felt all sorts of embarrassed. When I got home, I looked up what was going on and it ended up being a parade for the graduating class of 2022. Ended up getting Texas Toast garlic bread from Dollar General.
TL;DR: I went to get breadsticks from IGA and ended up driving into a parade for the graduating class of 2022
Glasgow351: I feel you. One day, we, me, my wife and son, decided to take a nice long drive in the country. We wound up driving into the next state over. It was lunchtime and we decided to go to this one little town a few miles down the road. As we get there, we see detour signs, roped off areas, and people everywhere. Yes we drove right into a carnival and a parade. We found a place to park and just chill. The theme was the Dandelion Festival.
Previous-Thing-7075: What exactly is a "Dandelion Festival" like?
SalleighG: It blows.
Previous-Thing-7075: Solid answer
| 5 | 7 | |
1653094798 | 1653163296 | t3_uuc5mz | t5_2to41 | 558 | notagoodtimetotext: TIFU sexting with my wife
Throw away account because too many know me and mobile so pardon formating. My wife and I have multiple young kids so getting alone time is hard to come by and with covid a date night is down right impossible My parents agreed to take the kids for an over night so we can go out and have a proper date night. Of course we jump.on
So afternoon rolls around and I check my phone and see a message from my wife that reads "looking forward to going out tonight" I deciding to have some fun respond back "me too but I'm more looking forward to when i get you home and can......" and proceeded to go into graphic detail of what i wanted to do to her. After a few long minutes I get a response back of "um... your mom says hi".
Apparently my wife needed to get a few things at the grocery store and my mother wanted a few years for her grandkids tagged along. So as they're driving my wife sees the texts come through and gets the car to read it out.
Needless to say my mother got an ear full and picking the kids up is gonna be awkward AF
TL:DR sexted my wife and my mother overheard it
Edit :grammar
hills_for_breakfast: Lol, that makes up for all the times you had to imagine (or hear) your parents having sex.
You’re welcome.
thoawaydatrash: Oh I guarantee OP’s mom was like “where did I go wrong? Why is my kid so vanilla?”
LifeIsVanilla: Or worse, "Oh wow, his father does the same thing, oh but that's new, I'll have to ask him to try that out" and it leads to his father asking OP about butt stuff while fishing.
AnonymousPerson4: As long as the fish aren't involved
LifeIsVanilla: Well I did see a super interesting video featuring a Japanese model and eels once...
AnonymousPerson4: 
| 7 | 79.714286 | |
1653096927 | 1653244463 | t3_uucs1g | t5_2to41 | -2 | Apprehensive-Week920: TIFU by almost killing my best friends 7 year old daughter:
[removed]
Majestic-Tourist-582: Are you gay?
Apprehensive-Week920: Yes.
Majestic-Tourist-582: How did you know
Apprehensive-Week920: Cause penis’s disgusted me and I thought girls were pretty.
Majestic-Tourist-582: Is it scary? How did you tell your parents?
Apprehensive-Week920: It’s not scary being gay is normal. However it all depends on the type of parent. If your parents aren’t homophobic I would tell them. If not for your own safety I would keep it a secret, as you could get kicked out/in trouble.
Majestic-Tourist-582: I’m not gay, this isn’t for me I was just curious
SirThatsA: Ah, I see where you're at
Majestic-Tourist-582: What do you mean?
SirThatsA: It's probably more significant to reflect on what you thought I meant than what I actually did. What was your first reaction to my comment?
| 11 | -0.181818 | |
1653098148 | 1653100640 | t3_uud47a | t5_2to41 | 26 | No_Turnover_1227: TIFU - my brother is now the scapegoat of the family and I feel really sick knowing I was the course
[removed]
subtlenerd: That's awful! So glad you're out of that situation now. I hope your brothers make it out too, you're exactly right they'll use him as their replacement now that you're gone.
No_Turnover_1227: I hate how he's being used how I was 😭
subtlenerd: Yeah, it's hard to watch happen. All you can really do is provide support if he asks for it
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1653109154 | 1653114050 | t3_uug2bv | t5_2to41 | 54 | Just_Slytherin: TIFU by asking my husband for an honest answer.
So we had just come back from dinner with some friends - another married couple, their friend (27M) and my friend (25F) who were being set up on a blind date.
When I was telling one of our mutual friends about the night she asked if the guy they brought was cute. At this point I turned to my husband and asked him what he thought and he said "not really." Maybe I took it too seriously because I told him I felt bad about calling someone "not cute" when they had a pretty chill personality and could be attractive. He said he doesn't feel bad it's just how he saw it. It was a lighthearted conversation but you see where this is going don't you?
Two seconds later I turned to my husband and asked him if he found me cute "objectively" when he first met me. He thought about it for a couple of seconds and said a resounding "no". He followed up by saying he found me cuter as he got to know me and love me blah blah but still, come on!!!! I am sad lol. Sigh.
tldr; asked my husband if he found me cute when he first met me and he said no.
Felaguin: He was being honest with you. The fact he dated and married you despite not finding you cute at first should actually be positive — it means he found something in you he liked that was deeper than any physical features.
Just_Slytherin: Yes yes I realize this. That deeper stuff will last once the looks fade but it's still a little sad to realize he didn't find me cute at all until we started conversing. I guess it brings out an insecurity if nothing else? Would've been nice to have atleast been a little attractive to him during that time. But I totally get your point.
MulderD: Since when is cute the qualifier for being attractive.
When I first met my significant other I didn’t think, “she’s cute.” I thought, “damn that booty looks good in that skirt.”
| 4 | 13.5 | |
1653109527 | 1653183612 | t3_uug5vf | t5_2to41 | 15 | Round_Pressure_7009: TIFU by missing every hint from an attractive girl
So, this happened like 3-4 hours ago and I feel insanely dumb rn lol. I(M21) live in Montreal and I study+work here. A while ago, a couple of my friends suggested we should go to the Kaytranada concert on May 20 (where this FU happened).
I went to the concert today with a group of friends. At the concert, one of my girl friends was talking to a guy and she was writing her phone number in his phone. I didn't think much of it as he let her sit in his shoulders to see Kaytranada and they were talking to each other afterwards. I didn't want to bother them so shifted my focus off of them but this lasted for about 2-3 mins until I saw the guy abruptly leaving her and was going/disappearing inside the crowd. I learned that he kissed her without her consent and was an asshole - this really bummed me.
About this topic, I am very respectful and I value consent over anything. Now, after also this happening to my friend, I was trying to be extra extra careful at the concert as we were near the stage and it was very crowded so there wasn't much of a moving area + people were constantly changing places so everyone was basically pushing each other every second. I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Because everyone was pushing each other, after a while of dancing and singing, I found myself separated from my friend group. Now, there was this group of girls in front of me and one of them and I were constantly making eye contact (I found her to be attractive tbh so was happy about this). She then started dancing right in front of me and she lowkey twerked on me (idk how to describe it tbh). However, I thought it could be that she just wanted to twerk to one of her girl friends and she was possibly drunk. I had seen her drink fair amount of alcohol throughout the concert so I took a step back. Continued dancing for a while but we were still very close. Once again, I felt her ass and wanted to move back again but someone pushed me as I was moving. My right hand accidentally hit her hair/head. She turned back and I said I am so sorry I didn't mean to do that. However, she looked at me with shocked eyes and went far away from me - other side of their girl group circle.
Until the end of the concert we kept on making eye contact and at some points she made some finger gestures and smiled at me. Well, I still ignored what she was implying (I couldn't trust my interpretation bc I smoked 1.5 joints in the concert. Although I was not high during this event, I still thought all the weed I smoked earlier in the evening might still alter my interpretation). However, we still connected eyes for a couple more songs and she came back near me. We danced for a bit more but then the concert ended. My intention was to talk to her and possibly get her number but I saw my friend group leaving and they were yelling at me to join them. I froze at the spot for no reason in front of the girl and chose to leave without saying anything. After joining my friend group, the first thing they asked me was if I got her number etc. Apparently, even they saw it from 10m away that she was giving me hints all concert. However, after I told them my perspective, they said I did the right thing and shouldn't worry about this.
We left the concert place, walked around a little bit, and went to the nearest metro station. I was regretting how I handled things and thought I was maybe overly naive in understanding signals from the girl. After taking the metro, I parted ways with my friends as I had to transfer to another line (yellow to green). While waiting for the green line metro, I was constantly thinking about this. Then, the metro came and I entered a random wagon while constantly checking out my phone. When I lifted my head up from the phone, I saw the same girl from the concert with a guy but without her other girl friends (the guy seemed like a friend of her from their dynamics but idk for sure ofc). At the second station after transfer, dude left the metro along with 2 people who were sitting in between I and the girl (dude, girl and I were standing).
I was tired af after a long day of work and smoking weed/dancing/singing so I immediately sat down to the newly freed place. She then proceeded to sit next to me. The thing is, I could only visibly laugh at this situation at the moment as it was kind of insane to me like missing too many opportunities at the concert then while regretting it, god was like "there you go bro second chance, bam!'. I couldn't do anything for 4 more stations and the only thing I did the whole ride was saying "have a good night" to her before leaving which also ended up being cringe because she was focused on something else when I said "have a good night" - basically she didn't even hear me.
In the end, I still do not think I necessarily did a bad/wrong thing in this event. It's just I missed too many opportunities that I fucked up rly hard in the end.
TL;DR: An attractive girl was being intimate/close with me at a crowded concert and I didn't want to do anything with her until I was sure her actions were intended and sober. When I wanted to make a move after thinking she was meaning it, I folded. While on my way back home, ended up sitting next to her at the metro but couldn't redeem myself and only said a cringy 'have a good night' while leaving the metro.
Note: Sorry for the wording/mistakes, I'm high writing this post.
​
Any-Confusion-4526: Yup. God was trying to hook you up, and you walked the other way
Conwaydawg: Maybe he just isn’t into girls?
Round_Pressure_7009: No, I'm very much into girls but I suck big time understanding their signals/am always insanely cautious about interpreting their actions as sexual towards me.
Conwaydawg: I was just making a joke. I don’t see signals at all. Lol. My wife had to make all the moves (overtly obvious). Like she asked me are you ever going to kiss me.
imperfectharmonies: Men are so oblivious lmao. You can usually tell be their body language, and it's honestly embarrassing if she has to ASK you like that, meaning she probably was hinting at it for so long before and you just didn't get it  I'll just never understand any of you I guess
Round_Pressure_7009: Yeah, how do I forget about this ever happened lol I don't want it to be another thing I think about trying to go to sleep every night. Ugh, I'm very dumb also I won't smoke weed going to concerts anymore it makes me overthink smh
imperfectharmonies: Honestly it happens to us all tho, you messed up but we all make mistakes. You're fine xD
| 8 | 1.875 | |
1653110488 | 1653114259 | t3_uugecl | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to my entire family
[deleted]
lytalbayre: If you are only two classes away from a bachelors you should just do it and get the degree. Maybe you can do night school or something while you are doing the electrician program?
mandud101: the problem is during the electrical program I will be working 40 a week as well as doing outside of work training for another 14ish hours a week. my friends who are in/went through to program say that during it you don't really have time for much else. once the apprenticeship is over I do want to do night school and finish my degree but for now, there isn't anything I want more than financial independence and to start my life
GodSlayer225: Bro make sure u get that degree otherwise all that time u spent is wasted. Plus 2 courses is nothing.
| 4 | 8.25 | |
1653110841 | 1653134330 | t3_uughdb | t5_2to41 | 89,273 | HollowsOfYourHeart: TIFU by disappointing a man who wanted to get laid by a maid
I'm a professional housecleaner in a large city. My first house today was beautiful and pretty big (4,000+ sq ft.) I had never cleaned this house before today.
It's kind of interesting to clean the home of people you have never actually met while they are not home. I never snoop but I do learn about people just by the state of their house or whatever is out. These people seemed like they really needed us. I would guess they are busy and don't have much time for cleaning and organizing (but definitely have an active sex life judging by the master bedroom).
I love cleaning dirty houses and was like amping myself up doing a mini Rocky training montage warmup and finding the perfect music to work to (Pantera). I was sweating like 4 hours in but I was getting this house spar👏ka👏ling! All I had left to clean were the floors when a man walked in.
I welcomed him home and let him know I just needed to clean the floors and would be finished soon. He looked super confused and then kind of grinned and asked if I was his birthday gift. I didn't really know what he meant. Maybe his wife scheduled the service on his birthday? I just answered with, "maybe? Happy birthday, Mr. Henricks!" To which he looked even more confused and told me his name was not Henricks.
Well. That's because his next door neighbor, my actual client, is Mr. Henricks. I walked my happy ass into the wrong fucking house and cleaned the hell out of it. And then the guy who lived there came home and thought I was a sex worker role playing as a housecleaner hired by his wife as a birthday present.
I was so totally embarrassed explaining myself to this guy and my boss. (The entry instructions in the app said the client wouldn't be home but that there was a key under the mat. There was no key under the mat but the front door was unlocked 🤦♀️). This is not even the first time in my life that I have let myself into the wrong house, although the first time was not a work thing.
On the plus side, dude was so happy with how clean his house was that I finished the floors and he paid me what my company would have charged him plus a tip!
TL;DR; I disappointed a man who wanted to get laid by a maid.
sweethearts0723: I mean. Sounds like a happy ending to me!
minitaba: Not for him
Rolling44: I beg to differ. A clean house is worth more than a quick lay!
HollowsOfYourHeart: They all say they want a bang maid but real housecleaners get that spot behind the toilet.
Sourdoughsucker: Here’s the thing - whole house is spotless, wife comes home and is amazed at how it looks, husband takes credit, lovemaking ensues - everyone win
LifeIsVanilla: She said the house was messy before, there's NO way the wife would believe the husband did it... but if he took credit for hiring the maid... yeah I see it now..
Sourdoughsucker: As long as the house is clean, does it matter who did it? :)
LifeIsVanilla: In so so so many ways, it really does. If I wanted a clean house I'd clean my house, I pay for it because I want privacy. I ain't want no one all up in here, they might see THAT.
Sourdoughsucker: I am sure they have seen worse, whatever THAT is
LifeIsVanilla: I've seen worse too, but THAT is not ready to be released to the public, and the risk of it getting leaked early is terrifying.
Ok-Palpitation2798: you need to spit out what THAT is.
LifeIsVanilla: Come dressed in a maid costume and maybe you'll find out ;)
Ok-Palpitation2798: Give me your address, I'll be there in no time
LifeIsVanilla: 24 Sussex Drive, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ok-Palpitation2798: Oh boy I'll need some time I'm on the other side of the world like diametrically
LifeIsVanilla: Just sit and spin
| 17 | 5,251.352941 | |
1653111329 | 1653136151 | t3_uuglk1 | t5_2to41 | 21 | BeardedJewFish: TIFU by cutting 5 lbs of jalapenos without gloves
Recently I started a new kitchen job where I have the opportunity to actually learn how to cook. The first task of the day I was given was to cut jalapenos on a mandolin. I started off with gloves but they were getting wet and I was nervous to slip and cut my hand on equipment I've never used so I took them off. I had 4 people check in on me while I cut them for an hour, and of course only after I finish and complained about the pain on my hands, do they tell me I should of worn gloves. I've been in pain since like 3 pm, it's a little past 1 am now. I tried yogurt, aloe, cold water, and even vinegar. Cold water helps in the moment and yogurt helps for a few minutes. Now I'm sitting here, yogurt on hands that feel like they are on literal fire and questioning my life choices as my girlfriend types this out for me.
TLDR: cut 5 lbs of jalapenos without gloves, now I'm dying because my hands are on fire.
dai-the-flu: Are you allergic? I've never heard of someone being in pain from of cutting jalapeños unless they touched another body part.
BeardedJewFish: I've eaten plenty on things like pizza and don't think I've ever had an issue. Google says it could be like this 24hrs
dai-the-flu: That's unfortunate. I hope the pain subsides :/
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1653112519 | 1653114327 | t3_uugvse | t5_2to41 | 10 | Free-Damage3840: TIFU by giving my friends butt plugs that were tracking devices
[removed]
Rextherabbit: Sorry sounds bull shit.
Tracking devices in a butt plug? Where are they getting power from to run a tracker? How is the device sending tracking information to someone ( must be connected to a network of sorts)? Who is receiving the tracking information?
And who buys hurt plugs for their friends?
Mhodges81: It's legit. For the "find me" feature. Can't think how many times I found mine in the wrong butt. Shit gets stolen like a 90's car radio.
Side note I'm working on a detachable face butt plug, so that it's not worth stealing if you don't have the faceplate. Still working on the concept.
GroochCheesily: Get one that you can pull completely out and take with you, oh wait.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1653114126 | 1653178156 | t3_uuh8tr | t5_2to41 | 255 | Truemonster2: TIFU by asking Google Home where a photo was from
So tonight I had my entire family (Mom, Dad, and Younger Sister) as well as my sister's best friend over to have dinner and play board games. While playing the game, Chromecast was displaying very cool cityscapes in the background on the TV. Hoping to show off the capabilities of Google Home, I asked Google where the picture on Vizio was from. Google proceeded to cast my photos onto the TV, which I scrambled to turn off to no avail. A closeup photograph of a vagina was plastered across my SEVENTY INCH SCREEN in from of my ENTIRE FAMILY. Needless to say I was mortified, but my family all laughed at it, although my mother was red in the face for the rest of the night.
TLDR: Asked Google about a picture, Proceeded to have a closeup of a FWB's vagina cast onto the TV in from of my family.
lkso: So what city looks like a vulva? New York?
BinkoTheViking: Regina Saskatchewan.
illuminatisheep: Fugget about it
jimmycaa: Bangkok
| 5 | 51 | |
1653116104 | 1653116632 | t3_uuhoay | t5_2to41 | 129 | smeads3105: TIFU by logging into my friends Facebook and finding out all my "friends" hated me
Obligatory not today, this was a few years ago.
I (19f) was at home this day when I should've been at school. I don't remember what my motivation was for logging into my friends Facebook. I just felt like I had to.
So I logged in and found a group chat on messenger that I wasn't part of. The group name was something slanderous about me. Something along the lines of "stacey is a cunt". So obviously I started reading the messages. This group chat had all of my "friends" in it.
At first they were talking about how dirty and disgusting I am. Saying I don't shower and that I had head lice so they were all saying to stay away from me. Both of those things weren't true btw.
Then, they started talking about my self harm. I had confided in my best friend about my self harm and I had shown her as well cos she wanted to see it. In the group chat the same person was making fun of me saying "she looks like she did it with a fucking feather. They're not deep at all and she should try harder at it" this fucking hurt, they were all saying I should've gone deeper and they were taking the piss out of how "shallow" the cuts were. In my opinion self harm is self harm, doesn't matter how deep or shallow it is. But that didn't matter to them.
By this point I was breaking down. I'd found out my friends weren't really my friends and that I'd been taken for a mug. I ended up spending a few more days at home, I didn't wanna go to school knowing everything about what they had been saying about me.
Then they all got into a fight and next thing I know is that I'm being blamed for it. I wasn't even there. I was at home. The ringleader (my "best friend") spun a narrative where I was to blame for everything and everyone went along with it. So by that point I had officially lost all my friends. Now they're all living their best life acting like nothing happened all those years ago.
Tldr; logged into my friends Facebook and found out about all the bad shit they were saying about me. Then they blamed me for a fight I wasn't there for and cut me off.
sordidcandles: Fuck them, they were never your friends OP. I’m sorry they used you that way and you are much better off with them in the past :)
smeads3105: Thank you. I'm happy to say I'm doing loads better now and I've now got friends who truly value me :)
sordidcandles: Good!! That’s the best revenge.
smeads3105: Exactly!
| 5 | 25.8 | |
1653118017 | 1653182482 | t3_uui3yh | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking somebodys phone
So for reference, I am the mom of a lovely 3 year old, and this was absolutely my fault, I could have handled it wayyy better
Today I was out in a grocery store with my 3yo daughter. She underwent vincristine and pegaspargase chemo this morning and she has rough reactions to both of these, vincristine caused her to lose her ability to walk for 2 weeks and she needed physical therapy to help her regain her ability to walk. (she has a form of high-risk B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia, a Childhood cancer) about halfway into our grocery trip she broke down screaming and crying and telling me that she hurt and was begging me to make it stop.
I couldn't make it stop so I just picked her up and told her it was okay and that we would stop by the bakery for some cookies, then sat her back down in the . Well lo and behold some nosey Karen is watching and she proceeds to give her unprovoked opinion about how back in her day kids were well behaved in public and how they got their asses beat if they behaved badly, and that I'm a soft parent and ruining other peoples shopping experiences.
I got right up in her face and told her that she needed to keep her judgy ass opinions to herself before I smack the shit out of her, and that she had no idea why my daughter was crying. She proceeded to get out her phone and tell me she was videoing me and she would be giving my threats of violence to the police. She shoved her phone all up in my face as I was trying to get by and getting increasingly frustrating because she was yelling at me to repeat what I said as my daughter was crying, and I flipped and slapped her phone right out of her hand when she stuck it right in front of me as I was trying to get my daughter out of the cart before she threw up.
Well said lady proceeded to tell me that she is going to sue me for damaging her property for cracking her screen, and then actually called the police on me, and then my daughter proceeded to throw up in the aisle, and so now this lady is suing me over this and believes in her claim being "property damage and emotional distress" yay.
TL;DR: crazy lady screamed at me and my kid who has cancer, so I broke her phone and now she is suing me
Own_Willingness8827: Eh it’s not worth your stress. I’m thinking that even if the police come and get involved, they’re going to hear both sides of the story, look at all the stress you’re under at the moment and hopefully not take it further. She should not have been in your face like that and to be fair you warned her what would happen if she didn’t back off 🤷🏼♀️
Maybe she will think twice before poking her nose into other peoples business again
[deleted]: I'm just hoping that the suit gets immediately thrown out because i don't have the time to focus on that.
| 3 | 9.333333 | |
1653119140 | 1653174899 | t3_uuicnc | t5_2to41 | 1,256 | CJ2324: TIFU GF kick me out of my flat because she can’t stand being in the same room with someone who supports a woman abuser AKA Johnny Depp
Day started with me and my gf watching a movie Gone Girl. It’s a story of a couple nick played by Ben affleck and his smart manipulative wife amy ( I’m sure most of you guys have watched this masterpiece of a movie. If not you def should!). Anyways, nearing the end of the movie. I made a comment that if they were to recast amy, Amber could definitely pull of that role. She got bewildered that I would compare Amy to a sexually, physically, and mentally abused Amber Heard. She also argued that Depp was able to use his influence and money to hire people and lawyers to look good and make poor Amber look bad on and off the camera, and that I should look past that.
We got into a lengthy argument. We were clearly not going anywhere in this, so I proposed that we agree to disagree that Depp and Amber are innocent until proven guilty. She was having NONE of it! She started talking about pictures of abuses cause by Depp. At that point I just lost interest and turn my head away from her. That got her pissed off, she yelled at me to get out of my flat because she can’t stand being with someone who supports a woman beater, and she’s afraid what I might do to her because I’m team Johnny. When I didn’t budge she started pushing me, yanking my shirt towards the door. I wanted to push her back to try get her back to her senses, but I’m afraid that she might use that against me if worst come to worst. So I just stepped out of my flat on my night wear.
I’m now going to spend the night in my car out in the streets for the first time. I’m too embarrassed to go to my parents home and explain my situation or even bother my friends this late. I’m contemplating whether I should just barge into my flat and kick her out since I’m the one paying for the rent. I guess I’ll do that tomorrow and have a talk with her in a good way. Never thought it would come to this, but it did. I just keep saying to myself that it could have been worst. Ya’ll have a good night.
TL;DR
Gf got mad that I support Depp and not Heard so she kicked me out of my own flat, and now I spend the night in my car.
Khuush: ……It’s literally your apartment?????
Kick HER ass out now and block her number
Chaotic1975: Ah Reddit. The place where we can only ever really see half the picture.
Let's be honest, if she's on the lease, he could get into legal hot water.
Then there is also something called Common Law, which many cities still have. Which could entitle her to half. Depends on how long they've been cohabitating.
I'm neither Team JD, nor Team Amber. Honestly they are both beyond bonkers and having to hear about their train wreck of a marriage is enough to make me gag.
Listen my guy, partnerships take work. You won't always agree with your partner, nor do you have to on everything.
BUT, voicing your opinion as if fact, without actually having a discussion without anger, will most certainly cause a major split.
Remember if you love and care for this person, and you have been together for a long time, sometimes biting your tongue is the best course of action.
Additional_Breath_89: That is awful advice. I’m sorry but you’re advising the OP to “bite his tongue” and that “partnership takes work” when his GF GOT PHYSICAL and dragged him out of his home, and essentially stated she was worried he would attack her?
That relationship is toxic as hell and he needs to get out of it before anyone gets hurt.
Would you give this advice to a woman I wonder…
Chaotic1975: Did you even read my very first sentence??
I think not.
Number 1, we are only getting half the story. Yet people are saying throw her out it's his apartment. I don't think what happens between two ridiculous celebrities should cause a major fight. Reading comprehension please
Additional_Breath_89: Your first sentence “ah Reddit”?
I did read it indeed.
I know we are getting half the story - hence why most people have said “get a witness” or “get the police”
However advising someone who has confided they have suffered domestic abuse and is scared to go home (ALWAYS believe people when they say this) they have to “bite their tongue” and that their “partnership takes work” will never be good advice, regardless of how much of the story we are getting.
Chaotic1975: Just so you know, there is a major difference in people whom you know personally confiding in you that they are being abused, and someone on the damn internet telling his /her /them side of a story just to get validation that their way of thinking is right.
What I was trying to say in case you didn't quite understand, is that I am not going to validate his view. Period. There are plenty of other people on here who will. If I had a close personality friend tell me she was being abused, I most certainly would not tell her to bite her tongue. Ever. That's the difference between internet anonymity and knowing someone personally.
AdmirableWing9175: Women?
| 8 | 157 | |
1653119375 | 1653121630 | t3_uuiecg | t5_2to41 | 9 | uglycheerleader: TIFU by not being a basic redneck
[removed]
raven080068: You're just mad because you got friend zoned to the max. By the whole school
Orgazmo_87: Bold of you to assume they had friends
| 3 | 3 | |
1653119334 | 1653124128 | t3_uuie1b | t5_2to41 | 31 | The_JoshGausden_Scam: TIFU by investong $600k of my hard-earned money and got scammed. Be vigilant people!
[removed]
cnicalsinistaminista: First of all, thanks a lot for letting us all know. Personally, I don't even have close to that amount to invest in anything.
Secondly, how the fuck are you so calm about this?
I'd be crying on the FBI, CIA, Secret Service hotlines.
The_JoshGausden_Scam: Did that already! Now I’m just doing it for therapy i guess.. Really trusted the guy, thinking I did my bit of “due diligence”. Never ever part with your money. Be it a dollar or a million. Didn’t even realized it added up to that amount until it was too late…
I don’t live in the U.S. unfortunately. And if I did, i don’t think they can do anything about it to be honest. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
cnicalsinistaminista: Well, they did catch Hushpuppi. So, there's that. Interpol then? That is a whooping amount of money. Sorry that happened to you.
The_JoshGausden_Scam: Oh yeah! The guy who was in the middle east right? Not gonna name the city ‘coz we all know where it is. Maybe i’ll do that. Felt like a small person right now that i don’t think interpool might care. Just created this reddit yesterday and don’t even know how to navigate it yet, interpool seems like such a huge task
cnicalsinistaminista: Yup, that's the one. It's almost a million dollars. Maybe it's because I'm hella broke but that is a massive sum of money to lose to a scammer. You need as much help as you can get. Reach out to the real people whose identities have been stolen. Reach out to Josh Gausden, Reuters, etc. Get them aware of the situation, and try to get in touch with your local authorities or, again, interpol. What have you got to lose?
The_JoshGausden_Scam: I did message on twitter the guy Mr. Vick Jack the Reuters journalist who featured him. Told him how I was scammed because of his article, maybe he can look into that and i have proof. He said, “Thanks for reaching out.” “Not much I can do unfortunately”. Very sympathetic for sure!
Anyway, you are right. I’m not done yet. I’ll reach out to other ones for sure. Would have posted his screenshots if I can.
cnicalsinistaminista: I did a quick search of their IP on Google. Seems like they are located in ATL, Georgia. I honestly doubt it if they're actually there but hey, who knows. I wish more people would get on this.. because I'm sure there are lots of very tech savvy IT people on Reddit that'd help you out in this regard.
The_JoshGausden_Scam: Thank you very much. If you can see on my profile I just try to post this scam on reddit threads i can find, like a broken record. The Josh Gausden guy messaged last night saying it isn’t him and he doesn’t have another account. I know he just deleted the second account on his bio so it will not be traced to him and his reputation will not be tarnished. I messaged him on his MAIN instagram account for 7months, many times, including when I him I have doubts on the goal he set which is 1 million. He always replies on his second account and never on the first account.. Then yesterday, he finally replied. Saying I need to take down this post. Wow! Finally replied after 7 months..
cnicalsinistaminista: Damn. I really wish you the best of luck and hopefully, you can get some kind of justice. Here's another thought, maybe contact Netflix. They are pretty good with this kinds of things.
The_JoshGausden_Scam: Thank you. Yeah, Netflix are pretty good at this things. We will see. I’m sure others have been scammed before me and it will eventually come out. He said on his story that ‘people are sending him threatening and abusive messages because they think i scammed them’. So, other people are victimized as well. I didn’t send him any threatening messages. If I did, i dare him to screenshot those
cnicalsinistaminista: No worries. It's incredible. There are always options and ways to seek justice. Exhaust as much of those options as you can.
The_JoshGausden_Scam: I will.. thank you.. I am just starting.
| 13 | 2.384615 | |
1653124569 | 1653151994 | t3_uujguo | t5_2to41 | 44 | mason2401: TIFU by being speechless to an Uber riders question.
So this just happened a few hours ago. I finally have a fuck up to share. Some backstory: I'm a 32M, and drive for Uber on the weekends. I've grown very accustomed to all types of people/walks of life, cultures, and behaviors... People with disabilities, no-english, rude people, drunk people, super-drunk people, assholes that throw food on my car, and then cover my window with soup after picking up a woman during a domestic disturbance(story for another time), etc. All in all I've done about 2100 trips in the past year alone, and am now pretty comfortable with most situations an Uber driver has to deal with in the realm of non-absurdity, though even this is sometimes stretched.
 
Anyways, I drive a Tesla Model 3, and I'd say more than half of my riders start up conversations about it. Not just the car in particular, but also electric vehicles in general. Lots of people just have tons of questions about how they work, so it's a great way to break the ice, and I do my best to answer them if the subject comes up. I'm very used to talking about it, even if I'm not in a talkative mood... to the point where I essentially have 'tried and true' scripts I string together during the conversation to give them the basics in layman's terms. When I can, I try to steer the conversation away from it, because I also want to get to know things about them too, and not just talk about a car the whole trip.
 
So on with the fuck up....I picked up three ladies in their mid-twenties from a bar, around 1:30am. They are all very pleasant, funny, and have had a few drinks. It's a warm night and the mood is pretty laid back and fun. We quickly form banter on their ride to get food, and one of them, lets call her "A", is asking me tons of questions about me and the car, telling me she wrote a college research paper about the efficiency and range recently. Then asking me about the self-driving, games, etc. She's also absentmindedly, or perhaps even purposely touching my arm during the conversation, and the whole group is dying laughing after I give her the reigns to use the "whoopy cushion mode" on the touchscreen. She is going HAM trying out every different combination of seats and different fart noises, while the other two are cry-laughing, "why is this a thing?!".... during which "A" is laughing with her head on my shoulder, and grabbing my arm. Really no way to tell if she was into me though, so I tried to [keep my wits about me](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw).
 
After about a 15 minute journey, and shortly after we collected our composure from the emissions mode incident, we reach the destination. "A" then sincerely says to me, "Do you want to date me?"...and I... dear reader... even after being very used to all kinds of scenarios from over 2100 Uber trips... am left completely speechless. Deer in headlights. Time nearly froze.
 
During this shattered space-time continuum, alone in my thoughts. I am extremely flattered, as I consider myself mostly average in the breadth of the handsome spectrum. This kind of thing nearly never happens to me, especially this bluntly. I also then wonder if it would even be appropriate for me as an Uber driver to give a rider my number. Then I start to think even if I did agree to a date, she's not entirely sober, so might not even follow through with it, but this could just be my insecurities talking.
 
Then, as time unthaws, I can't say anything, my stupid brain can't form fucking words. Nothing clever, or flattered, or agreement, or denial. Nothing. 3-4 seconds have passed and it's now too late. Embarrassment has set in. Mine, likely hers, and the other two girls as well... as one of them said something in disbelief of what "A" just asked. Luckily the situation is somewhat rescued as they get out of the car and I say it was a pleasure talking with them, and wish them a great night..... But I still feel like a fucking idiot.
"A", if you're reading this, I would be happy to go on a date with you.
 
TL;DR: Drove three women to their Uber destination, one of them seemed into me, you can never really tell. She then bluntly asks me if I want to date her and I can't form a goddamn sentence. Regret.
krodge5150: Can’t you contact the rider for a period of time after the trip ends?
mason2401: There is a way to contact them for a lost item, but “A” was also not the primary rider. Maybe just me, but I think it would be a tad creepy for me to call through her friend and try to have her relay my message or number in that way.
krodge5150: I think it’s be fine. You could just ask the friend to give A your number
| 4 | 11 | |
1653124617 | 1653173559 | t3_uujh7l | t5_2to41 | 22,800 | Working_Mango3801: TIFU by accidentally stealing a neighbor's mangoes and they've been trying to catch me for a month
I've been in lockdown in Shanghai, China for two month. During the first moth, residents were basically under house arrest, unable to leave the house to buy groceries, so my neighbors organized "group buy" where the entire building order food together.
One day I (as usual) sneaked out of the building to hang out with friends in a different district. Came back around 11:30pm and saw a basket on the front desk with a couple of mangoes in there. I thought those are up for grabs because they were in an open styrofoam fruit box, looking half empty. So I took some and went back to my room.
The third day a friend living in my building came to visit and said the "group buy" chat group was trying to catch a mango thief. I freaked out and went back to check the group chat. Someone said she bought a box of mangoes, couldn't find them, asked if someone mistakenly took those, and 5 minutes later another guy (let's call him detective) said, "lemme go check the security camera."
And the guy went to check hours of footage from two security cameras in the lobby, then uploaded screenshots and videos of me taking those mangoes in the group chat.
Jesus.
The good thing was, because I was sneaking out of the building, I tried to stay low by wearing a beanie, a gigantic mask, and an oversized jacket. The hallway was very dark anyways and even my mom wouldn't be able to tell that was me.
The bad thing was, that made me look JUST LIKE A THIEF.
Also that was already day three and I kinda ate all the mangoes already...
So the detective guy went back to check 5 hours of footage of the camera at the main entrance, from 6:30pm to 11:30pm. Again, because I sneaked in, I was not shown on those footage. Then the detective guy and his neighbors, who were obviously bored to death, started speculating. They first thought I was male (because of the jacket and the beanie), then female (based on my shoulder/head ratio and the cut of my pants, apparently); that I live in floor 1-3 on the west side (I don't); that I must had went back to the garage to grab something from my car before coming back to the building, since I was carrying a bag (I don't own a car and I needed a bag to carry my PS4 controller and some games to the friend's house); that I must be an experienced thief because I went straight to the pile of mangoes and started putting them into my bag (for fucks sake I did not know those were private property??).
Anyways, in the past month I tried to buy some mangoes to give back to the neighbor, but my order kept getting cancelled so I haven't succeeded. I went back to check the price of the entire box and it was around $10.
Last night (it has been a month since the mango snafu) I got invited to one of the neighbor's house for dinner. we drank and talked about random things until the detective guy showed up. He quickly started reviewing the mango case all over again, including the fact that he recently went back to the crime scene to reproduce my route.
So there I was, the mango thief, sitting next to the enthusiastic amateur mango detective, his next-door neighbor who just didn't want to hear one more word about mango, my next door neighbor who's a policewoman and an expert in theft cases, and the host who had no idea what was going on.
TL;DR: a guy spent over a month trying to catch me, who accidentally took someone else's mangoes.
Janisneptunus: I mean.. I would just let it ride until you replace the mangos (maybe a bit of interest?). This is such a hilarious story I can’t imagine anyone being upset about it!
ReduxAssassin: *I can't imagine anyone being upset about it!*
Uh, have you read about the lockdowns in Shanghai?
ck7654: > I (as usual) sneaked out of the building
Lockdowns don't seem apply to OP
ReduxAssassin: I'm not sure what that has to do with what I was implying in my post though?
jupiterLILY: I think the implication is that if people are willing to (and can) sneak out to play PlayStation then it’s not *that* bad.
ReduxAssassin: Thanks, I guess I see their point to a degree although I'm not sure I'd agree. But thanks for the input!
jupiterLILY: No, I don’t know anything about the situation to be fair. I just understood what the other guy was trying to say.
Emypony: Hey mate, just thought I'd weigh in a bit on this if you'll allow me, because I thought the previous person did have a point. I'm by no means an expert but I've read a few threads made by people and the situation sounds absolutely horrifying.
Hope I can post links here but I've got 2 threads that might give a bit of an insight into the situation.
https://twitter.com/chris__pc/status/1518541406821748736?t=8EiTF0RpBb2PGitOz5Gl7g&s=19
This one is about the pets and it's kind of heartbreaking.
https://twitter.com/JaredTNelson/status/1525887885190234120?t=rdbAY-aXF2_xBvOFPG7DIw&s=19
Again i by no means claim to know everything about it however the harsh reality is that people were affected by it nonetheless and calling it 'not that bad' is kind of unfair for those who were indeed hit harder. maybe in other places it was better, and thankfully I think the lockdown has ended, so here's to hoping everyone made it out okay.
Nonetheless stay safe out there, cheers.
jupiterLILY: Thanks for this. I assumed there was more going on, my input here was initially a linguistic one.
Emypony: Of course, no worries! I completely understood your point as well. I thought I might share those threads nonetheless in case you were curious in learning a bit about what happened.
jupiterLILY: Thanks for sharing, it’s amazing and heartbreaking, but beautiful to see communities come together to support each other.
| 12 | 1,900 | |
1653126392 | 1653127033 | t3_uuju6b | t5_2to41 | 12 | Falconismyign: TIFU by watching porn in my mums phone
Only me and my mum were at home today. After having lunch at afternoon, she decided to take nap for a while.
I was very horny at the time. My phone had no charge and was dead. Mum's phone was lying at the table nearly and I opened it and started to watch porn and masturbate.
Halfway through the video, the video got stuck. The phone became unresponsive and froze. I There is a paused video of people banging on the screen.
I tried everything to close the tabs but nothing works. IDK how should I explain this to her. She don't know the fact that I do these kind of stuffs. I guess I will be doomed today.
It's been like a hour and a half and she is still taking a nap but she might wake up anytime soon.
TL;DR
[deleted]: What will she do
Falconismyign: Might get my ass beaten
___Phreak___: yay child abuse
Falconismyign: Child abuse isn't a thing for Asian moms
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1653129117 | 1653129599 | t3_uukeu5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by being a boomer
[removed]
AmyInCO: I'd (55 year old woman) think, I didn't know he liked Kpop.
I assume most people will laugh. I know my family would roast me. Just tell them what my dad would have said. 'I'm old, not dead.' 😁
[deleted]: exactly... don't make it worse than it is
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653129995 | 1653131171 | t3_uuklcx | t5_2to41 | 4 | 420BloodKnight: TIFU BY GETTING FIRED FROM WORK DUE TO SLEEP ISSUES
[removed]
ThatKaleidoscope8736: You have to learn how to cope. We all have to wake up and deal with poor sleep. Go to bed earlier
420BloodKnight: I can function exhausted asf i used to work two jobs and go to high school when i was 16
The problem was that id fall asleep for hours and it woukd be blinking for me. Id still even have conscious thought about what was happening before i blinked.
ThatKaleidoscope8736: Yeah it's not okay to function while exhausted for a long time. It's how you burn out, trust me I've been there.
420BloodKnight: Thats why i was already looking for a new job and have an interview. I knew it was bad for me and i had to figure something else out.
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1653135651 | 1653191974 | t3_uulzc3 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing 3 hours of progress because I hit F9
[deleted]
jak0b345: Windows + F9 is a shortcut for Screenshots? Today I learned.
jeffbridgesismydaddy: No, on Steam, F9 is the shortcut for screenshots. Though, Windows + Shift + S is a nice tool for screenshotting!
blackleg_eggplant: Actually f11 is the shortcut
Felix_the_Fossa: It's actually f12
blackleg_eggplant: Yeah 😂
I forgot
| 6 | 1.333333 | |
1653137820 | 1653138608 | t3_uumkbk | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: Tifu by potentially exposing private material to my extended family
[removed]
russellcoleman: Not seeing any comments or gifs but I would come clean and just say sorry if I offended anyone this was not meant to be shared.
DrKnight88: This. Say this
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1653120270 | 1653139538 | t3_uuil8v | t5_2to41 | 32 | rde42: TIFU by picking my nose
Disclaimer: this happened a while ago and I am mostly recovered.
One day I was sitting at home, and I needed to blow my nose. I did so. But there was still a blockage. So I used my pinkie to excavate it, as you do.
As I was doing so, I felt a sharp pain in my finger. I finished my task, and the pain had mostly subsided. Then I looked at my finger: the last joint was drooping and I couldn't straighten it.
A few hours later, no more pain. But I still couldn't straighten the joint. I thought it would get better, so I left it for a few days. No change. So I went to the doctor, who referred me straight to a consultant at the hospital.
He was very good, and kept a straight face while I explained how it happened. The attending nurse was having trouble containing herself. As I thought, I had snapped a tendon. He said he could have a go at repairing it.
A couple of weeks later, I went in for day surgery. They put up a screen so that I couldn't peek - not that it mattered because I have no vision on that side - another story. It took about half an hour, the most disconcerting bit being when they drilled down the middle of the bones to insert a temporary metal rod to keep the finger straight while it healed. That rod stuck out of the end, and looked weird.
It was six weeks before they took the rod out. Then several physio appointments. There is still a slight droop, but at least I can use it.
A cautionary tale for children.
TL;DR; picked my nose and snapped a tendon in my finger.
waterytomatoesauce: Man you were really digging for gold
rde42: At least it didn't cost me anything
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1653139374 | 1653317374 | t3_uun1mr | t5_2to41 | 31 | lvCieje: TIFU by saying the n-word in front of my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years now and I've made mistakes in the past and she's forgiven me for then but I think I really fucked up bad today. I was scrolling through TikTok and the song
"Stop Snitchin" came up. Mind you every song I listen to with the n-word, I either blank it out or replace it with another word
while singing along. For some reason my mind was blank and even knowing what song it was and What the lyrics were, I sung the lyrics without censoring myself. I'm not black I'm Hispanic, my girlfriend is black. And I promised her I would never say the n-word and I completely broke this promise over a tiktok. She called me disgusting
for it and I completely agree, what I did was
disgusting and I have no excuse for what I did.
I apologize for anyone I've offended reading this.
TL:DR I said the n word to my girlfriend whiling singing along to a tiktok when I’m not black and she is
downwardtrajectory: It was a bad move, but god damn at the end of the day you were singing along to a song you enjoyed. It’s just a taboo line not to cross, but there was no malicious intent coming from you and your girl should know that.
420B1scu1ts: tell that to kendrick lamar. look up the video where he eggs a white chick on to sing his lyrics and then kicks her out of the show for doing so. also since when has hispanics asians and indians not allowed to say it. around my area if you have dark skin in any way they all use that word with eachother. i hate all the conversations about that word either everyone can fucking say it or no one can. people get sent to hospital over a fucking word.
losingit19: He literally just made a song addressing that and how he no longer sees himself as an arbiter of speech and how he's just as guilty for saying other slurs
420B1scu1ts: great his music still perpetuates that shit by the handful. im super glad he made a song about it though. that makes up for everything.
losingit19: It's not hard to not use racial slurs at people
420B1scu1ts: yea im being downvoted because im highlighting the fact that these celebrities perpetuate these words. and if its not that hard to not use these slurs why is it the staple of these peoples music. most of the time they themselves are using it in derogatory ways. also what the fuck are you saying this to me for while im sitting here talking about how fucked up it is that people still use the word. in any capacity. and if they are allowed to use it in any capacity than everyone is allowed to use it in any capacity. how do you not get this.
losingit19: Because it's not "either everyone or nobody should say it." It's a derogatory term with centuries of history behind it, and context matters. When a white person directly calls a black person the n word with intent, they are attacking somebody for being born. When black people use the word as a substitute for "bro" or something, it's somebody in the same walk of life who is using vernacular slang with no mal-intent. There are definitely advocates in the black community trying to phase out the use of the word, but there is obviously a huge difference between a person hatefully calling someone the n-word versus someone using it as slang.
There's such thing as nuance, and despite the dividing line of skin color, the world isn't literally black and white. It's easy to try to be kind to others, don't say call black people the n-word "just because they call each other" or "just because rappers get to say it."
Leave room for humanity and kindness and if you truly believe in eliminating the word, let the people who are hurt by it work within their own community to help reduce it and listen to what they ask of you. You aren't getting hurt by not saying a word, and you can hurt others by saying it.
Going back to OP, most people aren't going to let a slip-up following song lyrics sit on their mind too long, but if somebody asks you to make a conscious effort not to say a word around them, it should be a simple matter of respect to try your best.
420B1scu1ts: Um so when a rapper is talking shit and using the n word and singing with it and just using it in general. Is their fanbase only black? Or is their fanbase an array of races that will repeat rhe words that come out of their mouth. Why is it that so many black people can get by without using it at all. Then a bunch of them are reclaiming a word. Do any other subjugated races reclaim their slurs or do they do everything they can to get people to not say them?
| 9 | 3.444444 | |
1653139467 | 1653140130 | t3_uun2md | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: Tifu by being too excited on the dance floor
[removed]
MegaRadCool8: Send her a message that says, "well that was interesting."
See if she laughs with you or at you.
Can't hurt to try.
SteviaCannonball9117: Or one that says "well obviously I'm attracted to you, is that mutual?"
| 3 | 4 | |
1653140644 | 1653140833 | t3_uunf40 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by being a boomer with my smartphone
[removed]
id1477542: What’s the gif?
calabresedad: Yeah what the gif
| 3 | 1 | |
1653141218 | 1653141750 | t3_uunl6o | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by being too happy on the dance floor
[removed]
Stlbangz: I honestly am not sure if you can come back from that…Happens to the best of us tho
Deus_Judex: From the story I think he already came on the back of her...
| 3 | 1 | |
1653141660 | 1653192794 | t3_uunqf4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | skz_hs: tifu by sending my entire dragon boat team (and their parents) pictures meant for my mom
so last night me and my friend went downtown to see a play. it was pretty late and my mom requested that once i arrived at the theatre, i send her pictures of me and my friend at the theatre so that she knows we got there safely.
so we get to our seats in the theatre, i take a few pictures (one of which me and my friends are making faces in) and i send them to mom.
two hours later, the show is done (the play was great!!) and i am mortified by a notification that pops up on my screen once i’m able to check my phone again. it’s a text from a friend who’s on my dragon boat team saying, “not to scare you, but i think you sent your pictures to the group chat”.
when i tell you i screamed. i rushed to open the group chat and i see it. all the pictures supposed to be for my mother, right there in my dragon boat team group chat.
i tried to delete them but i couldn’t so i texted a quick apology as i died of embarrassment inside.
this wouldn’t be such a big deal if the group chat was mainly composed of my team mates, but everyone’s PARENTS are in the group chat too.
my mom and the friend i went out with find this whole thing hilarious but i am still so embarrassed about it all 😭
tl;dr: thought i sent pictures of myself and a friend to my mom, saw a sick play and then realized after said play that i sent the pictures to my entire dragon boat team (and their parents)
_Unebellejournee_: I'm not sure sending innocent pictures is embarrassing, or scream worthy. They probably think nothing of it.
skz_hs: i’m fairly new to the team and in the moment my heart just dropped when i saw all the notifs because i guess i’m still kind of worried about how i come off to my team mates?? but yeah, looking back on it, it definitely doesn’t feel like as big of a deal as it did in the moment lol
_Unebellejournee_: People make mistakes. Just think, they could have been pictures you wouldn't want anyone to see!
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1653142117 | 1653143907 | t3_uunvt7 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by going through my 11 year old niece’s cellphone
[deleted]
RandoCalrissian11: That was the hardest thing to read I’ve ever seen. Not the content, the formatting.
Kudos to anyone that got through it.
Isawonline: That’s gotta exceed the character limit.
| 3 | 12 | |
1653145933 | 1653159662 | t3_uup4mq | t5_2to41 | 79 | depressedkittyfr: TIFU .. I ordered pizza and went off to sleep and then buttdialed delivery guy at 3.30 am because I was miffed who would give me 4 missed calls
I ordered food at 9 pm and remember waiting around 25 minutes for it or something ( 18$ worth of stuff ). I was very sleepy and made the mistake of keeping phone on vibrate only and laying on my bed ( my body was paining a lot ). Then I just opened my eyes at 3.30 am on spot for the toilet and was going through my phone that time . I saw 4 missed calls from a number at 9.50 pm and I panicked because I thought a psycho stalker in my past decided to get another number and call me again. This led me to spending half an hour googling the number to verify my suspicions. While glancing over the numbers i accidentally butt dialled the missed call number and the person didn’t pick up ( luckily ).
Then I saw an ad for pizza and suddenly realised I ordered pizza last night 😐. The one good thing was that it was prepaid so they didn’t face loss even though I lost 18$ for my own fault. I just hope he didn’t throw it in the bin. I hate food wastage more than money wastage. If not himself then hopefully someone got benefited . But knowing German food industry it probably got chucked in the bin 🙁.
The worst part is .. I am still craving dominos margheritta pizza 🍕☹️ but to embarrassed to call again ( maybe won’t contact them for a couple of months )
TL;DR I ordered pizza at 9 pm and went off to sleep and then buttdialed delivery guy at 3.30 am because I was miffed who would give me 4 missed calls at 9:50 pm of all timings.
Rieger_not_Banta: So the German pizza of choice is dominos margheritta??
depressedkittyfr: I can’t speak for Germany but I like dominos Margherita a lot
Rieger_not_Banta: I didn’t even know dominos was there
depressedkittyfr: There is McDonald’s and kfc too 🤷🏽♀️
Satorainius: Not to mention Burger King, Subway and five guys 😂😂😂
depressedkittyfr: 5 guys not in my city tho ..
Satorainius: Had to take a 45 Minute Trip to the nearst one. The Shake is awesome the rest is kinda meh. So you didnt miss anything there 😂
juan_epstein-barr: they literally have a corporate policy that they do not add any seasoning to their meat. No salt, no pepper, nothing.
There's something wrong with that at a very basic level.
Satorainius: They should add a policy to not use half a pound of salt on the Fries 😂
I dont like wasting Food but the Fries were Salty af 😂
| 10 | 7.9 | |
1653148159 | 1653148854 | t3_uuputt | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: Tifu by being a boomer
[removed]
ineros: Say “I’m a guy…”
pulpyorangejuice19: I second this. “Im a man, I do man stuff, and I’m not great with technology”
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1653148825 | 1653166360 | t3_uuq2qo | t5_2to41 | 87 | virgincant: TIFU by making it to thirty without having sex
[removed]
thirdtryisthecharm: So you're an addict refusing meaningful treatment for addiction and behavioral/personality issues. But you're confused why no one wants a relationship or hookup with you?
I mean, would you date yourself?
If you want a relationship or just sex, you need to be a decent partner for those things. You need to bring something that is a net positive to the table with people you meet. And you absolutely have the capacity to do that, but it's going to mean working on the current negatives in your behavior and thought patterns.
GeminiS2222: Plenty of alcohol addicts are in relationships, you're being overly judgmental and deducing from the fact that women aren't interested in him that he must be a rotten apple somehow. Not necessarily true.
thirdtryisthecharm: Um ... Did you read his post????
>I’m just filled with Bitterness and hate.
> I think I’m either too ugly or too ingrained in my way of thinking now that’s it’s too late for me.
>All I can do I pop Xanax and drink alcohol until I hopefully end it all.
>I fantasize about actually being wanted by a woman. After each session I feel even more bitter and jaded.
OP is not emotionally okay to be in a relationship, addiction or not. There's a LOT going on with him.
GeminiS2222: None of that is a factor though, as women weren't interested in him before he became frustrated and bitter either.
thirdtryisthecharm: Look he had difficulty dating. Rather than working on himself to find a compatible partner, he chose to actively NOT improve his personality or social skills or physique, and instead to be bitter that others won't love him exactly as he is. He chose to self-sabotage in essence, rather than trying to solve his own problems. No one else can solve his problems for him.
| 6 | 14.5 | |
1653148970 | 1653149316 | t3_uuq4fy | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by sexually assaulting a close friend while heavily under the influence
[deleted]
shadesofwolves: > I probably had 50-60 drinks
No, you didn't.
GandolfMagicFruits: For sure.
| 3 | 3 | |
1653149480 | 1653150194 | t3_uuqagi | t5_2to41 | 23 | Connor_Tattersall123: TIFU by peaking out the blind to investigate the strange noises
Okay this was not today but a bit less then a year ago.
I was home alone which I rarely am, my sisters and father camping out of reception and my mum hours away. I’m on the bottom floor and was laying in bed it was probably midnight and I couldn’t sleep, that’s when the moaning started.
Outside I heard all these moans and not quite word sort of sound, I figured a group of drunks were walking past but then it didn’t stop.
My window looks straight onto the street so I crawled over to the window and peaked through the curtains to find maybe a hundred people walking slowly in random directions with their heads hung low and with do real meaning to where they were going they just moaned and moved. They were seriously acting like zombies.
Then one raised its head and make eye contact with me his face was stone cold.
Now I’m freaking out in my moment of panic I considered calling the police but then my rational mind reminded me that I’d sound like a crazy person and they weren’t doing anything illegal. That’s when my heart dropped to the bottom of my chest because the doorbell rang and after a while there’s the sound of someone kind of pushing the door not banging or knocking just bumping against it.
Now I thought I was going to die, I put the emergency number in my phone and hid myself in a blanket cabinet upstairs and waited after about half an hour before ringing my mother who made sure I took my medication correctly and then told me to stay quiet for a while. I kept her on the phone to comfort me, so long I didn’t realise it was running out of charge. I finally hang up on her after telling her there wasn’t any noise anymore and considering we have thick doors and metal bars on our windows I would have heard someone break in.
I proceeded to open the cabinet door except I couldn’t, I had locked myself in the cabinet, I didn’t know what to do! So I picked up my phone to ring my mum, my phone which was dead.
So I cried a little because my back was already starting to hurt and I was just worn out by anxiety and terror. No one was due home all weekend and I was stuck in a metal box. After the longest and most painful night of my life it was morning.
I heard the landline ring then ring again and again, I knew my mother must be having a heart attack. Which gave me hope I’d be saved, and a couple of long hours later my uncle entered and after much screaming he found me, then I’m ashamed to say I cried again. It was the scariest most tortures night of my life. And honestly I just want an explanation for what I saw it’s possible I was hallucinating but it seemed so real.
TLDR: Tifu by gaining the attention of a horribly unexplainable horde of people acting like zombies by peaking out the certain. Then locking myself in a metal cabinet with a phone I waisted the battery on by talking to my mother for comfort and spending the night in their before being freed by morning.
twohedwlf: Sounds like you survived a zombie horde. Good job.
Or you hallucinated. Or it was a flash mob.
Medic6688846993: Or all of the above...😶🌫️
Connor_Tattersall123: Most likely
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1653151348 | 1653305970 | t3_uuqwab | t5_2to41 | 39 | SOFDMS: TIFU By making my GF think I like to listen to moans on Spotify
I’m reaaaally embarrassed. This week my GF had her first business trip to another city, and since I work from home I decided to accompany her. Yes, this meant doing the deed all week long. Great for us since we don’t live together and only see each other once a week.
So I decided to make it really romantic one day. While she was at work I lit some candles, wrapped the lights with red paper so the room was red, cleaned everything, put on some cute lingerie, I was ready. The only thing missing was the music.
We have a favorite devil’s tango playlist, but I didn’t find it on my saves playlists on Spotify (it’s not mine). I went to the search bar to find it and there it was, “Moans and feminine orgasm to get off”. I was like wtf but curiosity won the best of me and I entered. It was indeed a kind of podcast playlist with what I assume was some moans, so I decided to skip it and go on with my life. Eventually I found my playlist (they changed the name that’s why I didn’t find it), my gf arrived and it was on. Everything was great!
Fast forward to last night, back from our trip. We went out with my dad and brother and my GF was in charge of the music. You already know where this is going, but she saw it on my search history. I didn’t notice, until this morning when she shyly said: “Hey…can I ask you something?”. I was like “yeah?…” while I was thinking if I did anything wrong. Her: “So…I saw the playlist you had on Spotify…” y was like wtf and then it dawned on me.
Omg I just freaked out and started explaining that I don’t get off by listening to moans (nothing wrong with it I just didn’t want her to think off me listening to moans pleasing myself). It’s been a day and I just can’t get over it. So embarrassing.
TLDR; Found a Moan playlist on Spotify and curiously entered, didn’t delete it from my search bar and now my gf thinks I get off by just hearing moans.
SmoothAlpaca28: you poor poor man
Unlucky-Ship3931: Sexy lingerie on a man? :P
SOFDMS: It would be interesting, but, in fact, I’m a woman
SmoothAlpaca28: well at least I got clarification
| 5 | 7.8 | |
1653154120 | 1653166953 | t3_uurtf8 | t5_2to41 | 149 | [deleted]: TIFU because of a period joke that i made
[deleted]
ttjr89: You didn't fuck up. Your friend is a creep....
rasputinsdad_22: That's true.... But the worst thing is that i know his gf. And this fucker while trying to make things right with her had told her that it was my idea and now she thinks that I'm a creep too 🤦♂️
Zarkex01: At that point I would just straight up tell her what happened.
| 4 | 37.25 | |
1653154886 | 1653191656 | t3_uus2lx | t5_2to41 | 326 | urlocalsidewalk: TIFU by not wearing shorts
[removed]
iTanooki: That’s straight up illegal. Report him to the school, if not the police.
DoIKnowYouHuman: Even if not explicitly illegal still the police, they need reminding that their poor choices have consequences
Your_Trash_Daddy: It's explicitly illegal.
DoIKnowYouHuman: So you know what jurisdiction OP is in and can state the statute/act/code for that then?
CoconutGator: It’s sexual harassment. Done and done.
MissCherrieee: And child porn?
| 7 | 46.571429 | |
1653155706 | 1653350642 | t3_uusc6c | t5_2to41 | 224 | [deleted]: TIFU I lied to my FWB about chlamydia
[deleted]
Frostitute_85: You lied and manipulated someone into doing something they truly did not want to do. That's really not cool and kind of psycho.
And he only thinks about himself and is fine with burying his head in the sand, and potentially catching and spreading diseases amongst his partners.
You both suck.
sharkie777: Only thinks of himself? He was asymptomatic and had no cause to think he had it. He has no obligation to get screened whenever someone tells him to for no reason.
If someone wanted him yo get screened and he didn’t want to they simply could not have sex with him, it’s that simple.
Only one person is the asshole in this story.
Bike_Chain_96: >Only thinks of himself? He was asymptomatic and had no cause to think he had it. He has no obligation to get screened whenever someone tells him to for no reason.
Damn. This sounds an awful lot like some of the stuff that was getting thrown around by the anti vax crowd with Covid.... Probably still is, and I just don't hear it as much
sharkie777: Are you comparing an airborne virus to an STD? You know how I know you’re dumb?
Ren_tho: Right, they aren't comparable at all. Aside from the fact that they are both incredibly infectious and easily spreadable, people refuse to wear simple items that helps prevent their spreading, refuse to get tested for them because the testing hinders the possibly infected person, and despite being exposed to them some people who don't show symptoms will still go about and engage in behaviors that will further their spread.
But yeah, one is an STD, the other is an airborne virus. An utter false equivalency if I have seen one.
sharkie777: So now you’re claiming chlamydia is airborne?
Lmao. Of course anything is comparable, the point is that it’s a fucking dumb comparison from someone that has literally 0 apparent medical education yet thinks they’re qualified to provide commentary on COVID.
Breaking news: if you’re concerned that someone has an STD or don’t like how often they get tested then you don’t have to sleep with them. It’s literally that easy. And keep your COVID disinformation to yourself.
Ren_tho: >So now you’re claiming chlamydia is airborne?
Did you forget how to read, or were you always this illiterate?
sharkie777: Tell me you don’t have any medical training without telling me.
Like I said, keep your medical disinformation to yourself.
Ren_tho: Copy paste where I said chlamydia was airborne
sharkie777: You’re the one making stupid comparisons. I’m simply highlighting it. Cry all you want.
Ren_tho: Legitimately, I don't care about the comparison anymore. Show me where I said chlamydia was airborne.
sharkie777: Copy and paste where I said that you said those words verbatim. I said you made a uneducated comparison and asked if that was part of your claims.
Now back up your claims or take the L.
Ren_tho: Ah, so you were always that illiterate.
sharkie777: Ah, so your shitty argument was used against you now you cry? Stay mad, degenerate.
[deleted]: Dumbass trump supporter. Cry harder.
sharkie777: You’re always crying, do you run out of tissues frequently?
[deleted]: Get fucked.
| 18 | 12.444444 | |
1653156746 | 1653198944 | t3_uusooo | t5_2to41 | 26 | 4DozenSalamanders: TIFU by using a Q-tip to clean my ear
Yes I did the dumb thing, oh my god, do not use the q-tip in your ear lest you have REGRETS
I'd been having a stuffy ear for the past few weeks, resulting in occasional muffled hearing. A couple times, it was so bad it woke me up and despite trying to flush it with hot water and peroxide, it was always temporary relief. I am in-between PCPs and the great old US of A makes healthcare wildly unapproachable, so I wasn't too eager to try and solve this problem and figured the issue would resolve on its own.
Yesterday, I woke up to the same old stuffy ear and muffled hearing in that ear, but I had overslept for my organic chemistry class so I ran off to class and not being able to fix my ear for hours just drove me batty. When I got home, I ended up just desperately trying to use a Q-tip to get some relief, when, suddenly, I felt a popping sensation followed by absolute hearing loss in my left ear. The q-tip had red on it, and I started massaging my jaw, and hearing returned, but it was so muffled, and sticky, and wet, and I immediately realized that I may have ruptured my ear drum.
I instantly went into a state of denial and started trying to rationalize how I was probably fine, and then realized that it was after hours on a Friday, and I'd have no way to even contact insurance to figure out where I should go, and my friends started panicking and convinced me to seek medical attention since permanent hearing loss is possible, and the sooner it's treated, the better, considering I had serious symptoms.
A lot of medical shenanigans later, today I checked in at my third urgent care, who decided to accept my insurance and actually saw me, and it turns out I had impacted my ear severely from months of neglect. The doctor was impressed by the amount of wax, which is never a good thing considering this woman has likely seen war crimes of biology. After debate, we decided to flush my ear out because I likely hadn't directly ruptured the eardrum and probably had just pushed the wax into it, putting pressure on it that lead to the sensation of popping, and it turns out that my wax was a dark enough color that my panicked brain could have interpreted blood. However, it was a risk since we had no way of knowing the damage since it was a thick wall of wax.
And oh my god, the immediate satisfaction and disgust of how much wax the human ear could hold was moving. One of the chunks was the size of my pinky knuckle! My hearing immediately came back, and it's clearer than it has been in months. The clarity is like finally cleaning your eyeglasses, but an auditory experience.
I still have to go on antibacterial ear drops for the next week just in case I did traumatize my ear drum, but the post exam couldn't find any obvious injury, so I'll just be finding a PCP to do follow up in a couple weeks. I am terrified of the medical bill but curbing the anxiety of not knowing if I permanently injured my hearing makes it worth it.
TL;DR: DON'T USE Q-TIPS IN YOUR EARS. Also the human ear is amazing at holding way too much wax.
Anti-positiv3: Dont use q tips or be cautious with them? Cause how else we cleaning ears
J0shua1985: Flush them. If they’re clogged up, then film your ears with food Oil for a few minutes every evening. Q tips specifically say that you should not put them in your ears.
kepp89: q-tips say that to cover their own ass
you can use them just dont stab your ears. they're for the outer most part of your ear hole.
CapybaraSteve: yeah i get a lot of stuff (wax i guess? it feels more liquid than that but idk) in the outer part of my ear hole and use qtips to clean them because otherwise it’s really uncomfy and also if it gets bad enough i can’t use earbuds because they just fall out due to the slipperiness
| 5 | 5.2 |
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