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1653157616 | 1653165851 | t3_uusywi | t5_2to41 | 45 | mth5312: TIFU by taking preworkout and supplements for the first time and end up postponing my workout.
This is currently happening. If this is hard to follow, it's the drugs.
To provide some backstory; I am making major lifestyle changes including getting in shape. My brother is a successful trainer and has been coaching me through this chapter of my life. He recommended that I take supplements and preworkout daily to help accelerate my workout progress and today is the first time I used them. The supplements include zinc, super magnesium, D3&k2, horny goat weed, l-theanine, yohimbine 451, creatine HCl, and ghost greens.
This morning, I planned to take the supplements/creatine and then go to the gym for a hard workout. As I was getting ready to leave, my brother informed me that he was on his way over and needed my help so I decided I would go tonight instead. Big mistake.
I am now coming down from the craziest feeling I have ever felt. It started out with my hands uncontrollably shaking and being absolutely wide eyed and super energized. My mind was racing and I could hardly speak a coherent sentence. My roommate noticed that I was endlessly wandering around the house and was constantly talking which is out of character for me. He's a medic and asked if could take my vitals to which he found that I'm basically in the beginning of a state of shock. I am now sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket sweating through my clothes while shivering from being cold trying to sleep this stuff off. Tomorrow I'm going to try to take the supplements only to see if its the creatine that's the problem here.
Tl:Dr I took supplements and preworkout for the first time and didn't workout and now I think I'm dying. *probably not but we will find out.
Thud2: Yohimbe. Don't take that garbage. Creatine is all you need.
mth5312: Are you saying Yohimbe is garbage? I'm neither agreeing with you or disagreeing with you. Just wanna learn.
Thud2: Yes. Stimulants and dilators are not needed (actually unhelpful and possibly harmful) for a good workout. You're looking for long term results not a short term crutch.
Walking_Bag_Of_Meat: I have taken a variety of supplements for about 10 years now. The only things that gave me anything like what OP was explaining would be random pre workouts from GNC (that were shortly banned) or Yohimbe.
Thud2: All you need is sleep, balanced nutrition, supplimented protein if working out heavy and Creatine helps with recovery.
Edit; Sorry, thought you were OP.
Walking_Bag_Of_Meat: Yeah nowadays I just take Protein (optimal nutrition) as needed and creatine as a post workout. Me in my early 20s tried everything though
Thud2: Lol, shit I'm in my 60's. There sure were a lot of fads over the years. It's a big industry and everybody's looking for an edge.
| 8 | 5.625 | |
1653164758 | 1653166231 | t3_uuv992 | t5_2to41 | 5 | purple_cupcake_52: TIFU by being disorganized and being scammed out of my money
This is a bit of a boring story but I gotta let it out. So tomorrow is my graduation day and I have my family coming up soon. For my graduation, you need tickets for the guests to be let in and I thought I got tickets but I wasn't sure. I checked all of my emails for any sort of confirmation that I got the tickets but nope, they weren't there. I then went on the school website to reserve some but the site refused to let me reserve any so I thought that I missed the deadline for [tickets.](https://tickets.Me) Me being myself, decide to go on on my school subreddit and ask if anyone has tickets, and I started getting people in my DMs.
The first person said he'd be selling tickets for $12 a pop and while it was a high price for tickets that are FREE, I was heavily considering it because last thing I wanted was for my family to not be let into graduation. Then I get a DM from another dude willing to sell his tickets for 7.50 each and I jumped on it. I stupidly pay him the money on cashapp without asking for proof because it beat the first guy's offer. When I asked for the tickets, he said he would email me later because the cashapp belonged to his neighbor who was at work (at fucking 1AM). So I lost $15 from that. Then I got another DM from another person who wanted to sell me them for $20 each and I ask for pictures or screenshots but he replied that he didn't know how to do that so I ignore the idiot. After that, one last person dms me and asks if I still need them. I don't even ask for a price, just proof of whether or not they have it. I ask them to email me a screenshot but they said they couldn't because they got scammed by someone who didn't pay them. I tell them that I also got scammed but we're at an impasse. They offer their sympathy and dm me their instagram handle to prove that they're real. The account that I see has 12 followers and a profile picture of an attractive girl. I do a reverse image search of the profile picture and it's a picture right off a pornstar's instagram. I had enough and ask the person in the DMs if the girl in the picture is them and they said yes. I then respond with 'Really? This looks strikingly similar to \*pornstar name\*' and they call me a pervert and that they are a naughty girl who likes to imitate the woman because she's such a huge fan of her. I tell them that the jig is up and to go fuck themselves for wasting my time.
I lost all hope after this and felt horrible that my parents would miss my graduation because they didn't have tickets. I go back on the school website to try to get the tickets again and this time I notice a very tiny drop down which I click on. It contained my past orders and lo and behold my tickets were right there! The reason why I couldn't get tickets earlier that night was because I already reserved the maximum amount of tickets reserved. I was relieved but at the same time I was furious that I got my time wasted by a bunch of scammers. I told all of them that they should be ashamed of selling free tickets for a graduation, and reported all of them. I got 3 out of 4 of them banned but man am I still pissed.
TLDR; Lost my tickets for graduation, got contacted by a few scammers, and lost both my money and my brain cells before I found my tickets again.
AcrobaticSource3: Congratulations on graduating! What’s your degree in?
purple_cupcake_52: Thank you! It's for mechanical engineering! I already finished my degree a year ago but I missed out on the ceremony last year because of COVID so I'm going to this year's for my parents' sake 😅
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653158002 | 1653241046 | t3_uut3b5 | t5_2to41 | 99 | ant682: TIFU by spitting hot tea in a co-workers face
I work at a charity shop in my town and whilst I had a cup of tea I was called over by the lady who handles toys as she wanted help with recognising the characters in some Disney infinity figures and while helping out I took a very large sip of tea tea and ended up choking on it leading to me having a coughing fit with the tea still in my mouth. I was too slow to react and coughed all over both myself and the co-worker I was trying to help and some even went into her eye. she begged for wipes to clean herself and my manager while I was still coughing. both me and her told my manager what happened. We all eventually found it funny but my manager did try to help make sure everything is ok meanwhile I was trying to clean myself off in which my manager let me select a t-shirt from the shop floor until my main one dried off and since it was quite warm and I wasn't sure any would fit I turned down the offer. when I went downstairs the lady on the till asked me while I was wet and I told her what happened which she found funny.
TL;DR: I drank too much tea at once and coughed it into a co-workers face
AcrobaticSource3: I reread your post except i replaced “tea” with “jizz” and this story became very sexy
kacchabadam69tf: So OP was drinkin jizz from a cup apparently
Dirtywelderboy: Thats not normal?
| 4 | 24.75 | |
1653166849 | 1653182293 | t3_uuvxe3 | t5_2to41 | 1 | SmoothAlpaca28: Tifu by filling a bunch of water balloons with poop water
Now just for the record this was yesterday and not today and now I'm going to keep the story kind of short. I 14 year old male was playing with my friend 13M and his cousin 15M they randomly came up uninvited to my house and to tell me that they were going to go to my school and play around with water balloons and they invited me.When we got to the school we decide to fill up some balloons then me and my friend realized that the tank was empty so his cousin and my friend decided to tell me to go to my house and fill up the water balloons because my house is closest to the school so I took the couple Meters walk to my house and then I knocked on the door to get my mom to open it \*silence\*..... there was no answer so I continuously knocked but there's still no answer but then it's like you was a gift from God a bowl of water on my porch without anyone looking I decided to pour the whole bowl of water into the tank that my friends gave me to fill up the balloons I walked back to the location of my friend told me to go to. And once again we just filled up all the water balloons then we decide to throw him around the school and at each other it was fun I thought nothing would go wrong then we all got bored and decided to go home I did farewell to my friends and I went back to my house. As soon as I went back to my house finally my mom opened the door for me to go inside and then asked me do you know why the bowl is empty I just pretty much ignored her and putted on my clothes. Then I heard a yell from downstairs it was my dad and I remember the words that he asked me "OP can you explain to me why your sister's poop water isn't in the bowl that we put it in" I was confused. "what are you talking about dad?" my dad said "you know that your sister is sick and we took her to the doctor, the doctor recommended that we get a poo test so we put in the Poop inside this bowl"it dawned on me I just used my sister's poop water as a water for the balloons "So OP can you tell me why this bowl of empty?" so then I proceeded to tell my dad the whole story. And that's where we are now I haven't told my friend and his cousin about the incident yet but I will soon i will my dad actually had a chuckle out of it so anyways we're going to have to bid for a while for now I will maybe update you I probably will not but maybe I will the whole reason I made this Reddit account was mostly just to make memes and tell you about the story so anyways goodbye.
TL;DR:Mother Would not answer the door so I use sisters poop water for water balloons and I hit my friends a bunch of times using the water balloons I did not discover that it was poop water till the very end of the story.
SmoothAlpaca28: Ask me anything about this story
Mysterious_Nature193: There's no water in the water tank? What do you mean? Where do you get water from?
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1653167495 | 1653185637 | t3_uuw52b | t5_2to41 | 119 | POKEGAMERZ9185: TIFU By Walking In 80 Degree Weather
This is quite the FU for me. I am someone that likes to either bike or walk when the weather's nice. I left the house and decided to walk by the water. This is where the FU begins. I didn't bring any water because I didn't realize how hot it was, plus we're still in the Spring. To make matters worse, where I live is humid so that's bonus points towards my FU. I later on found a place that sold Gatorades and I bought an orange Gatorade and sat down and drank it. Unfortunately, that didn't do much. In the middle of my walk I started feeling dizzy and my stomach felt cramped. The FU only gets worse as my parents were out of state at the time (they were driving back from NC and I live in NY) so I couldn't call to have them pick me up. The worst part is I didn't turn back when I truly felt ill. Now I am resting in bed. I'm no doctor, but I think I have heat exhaustion.
TL:DR: Decided to go walking in 80 degree weather and came home sick (Heat Exhaustion I think).
MoxieGirl9229: I live in Texas and I know heat exhaustion. Even though it’s been awhile since this happened. Put ice (or frozen veggies, whatever you have) on the back of your neck. You will feel much better in about 10 to 15 minutes. You will now be much more Susceptible to it in the future. Always drink 1 bottle of water and 1 bottle of Gatorade. Always take an ice pack with you.
POKEGAMERZ9185: Earlier I took a washcloth and put cold water on it and I left it on my face. I also took a cool shower and drank some water (including some from a bottle that I stuck in the freezer). I'm not really used to this heat outside of summer as I live in NY.
MoxieGirl9229: It’s a little over 90 here and because of the humidity it feels like 97. Plz go ahead and put ice on the back of your neck. It will cool your core body temperature in a few minutes and you will be right as rain.
POKEGAMERZ9185: Just did that and my neck still feels a bit hot. I used a cooling pad that I put in the freezer.
MoxieGirl9229: Keep the ice on it. And drink A-LOT of water. The way to tell if your body’s had a good amount of water is… when was the last time you pee’d? It shouldn’t have been that long ago. Like within the past hour,
POKEGAMERZ9185: I peed a few hours ago and it was more clear than the yellow I saw when I came home.
MoxieGirl9229: Ok, that’s good. Probably wouldn’t hurt to stand in a cold shower again. And of course ice your neck!
| 8 | 14.875 | |
1653169571 | 1653180729 | t3_uuwrr2 | t5_2to41 | 46 | SignificantTrain8543: TIFU by talking about lies my mother told me as a child and accidentally exposing a family secret and tearing the family apart.
I went to a funeral for my great aunt recently and was a bit triggered when I saw her daughters and grand kids mourning while my mother used the gathering as a place to show off her new teeth and tell everyone how good she’s been doing in her life.
The next night I got together with one of the daughters (who I’ve always referred to as my cousin because we’re closer in age than she is with my mom) and we drank a lot and started venting about my mother who has caused me a lot of pain and trauma and tells incredible lies for attention and everyone knows this about her.
Of all the heinous stories I told one stuck out to my ‘cousin’ who proceeded to call her older sister (very drunk) and tell the story. The next morning I was getting texts and calls from my family saying that was not my story to tell and that I tore the family apart.
Apparently my mom wasn’t lying when she told me their father had raped and molested women in the family. This was exposed days after their mothers funeral and I am a complete selfish asshole for saying anything. My grandmother, mother and I have all been cut off from the older daughters life and children, who were a huge part of my grandmas life. The most shameful part for me is that I went to the funeral hoping I could show the family I’m not the person my mom has been painting me as and finally felt accepted by them. I accidentally proved her right and destroyed the family by trying to expose my mothers lies.
I guess I thought it was another lie but maybe drunkenly thought the family could heal if it was true now that their mother wasn’t around to be hurt by this secret. Bad timing to say the least - we are being painted as liars by the older daughter because the women who were abused all admit it was the truth upon being asked about it.
I had a feeling seeing my mom would be a bad experience for everyone because we’ve always been toxic together but holy hell I definitely outdid it this time. Self fulfilling prophecy.
tldr: days after my aunts funeral I vented to my cousin about all the lies my mother told me as a child but the one about their father abusing women in the family turned out to be true and it devastated the family
InevitableGuidance19: Honestly, the r*pes devastated the family. So, while you may or may not be in the wrong for your motivations for bringing this up, you aren't the one who tore the family apart.
SignificantTrain8543: But I basically outed the victims who chose not to speak up. It wasn’t my story to tell, unintentional or not..
InevitableGuidance19: Yes, you have your own reasons to reflect on your behavior and to feel remorseful...... But the seeds of this dissolution/the cracks in the foundation here were planted by the r*pist.
SignificantTrain8543: My only consolation is that the victims finally got to speak their truth because it’s been heavy in their hearts all this time. I also think my older cousin might be so upset because she…..knows it true? The cousin I told was very accepting and wanted to talk to everyone about it. I pray the truth will set them all free - maybe accepting being the asshole they think I am is my role in this family if it leads to their overdue healing?
I came to Reddit because I need outside sources to evaluate this incredibly difficult situation - I am completely cut off and have no idea how anyone else is handling it at this point.
InevitableGuidance19: I honestly believe that it can and should be a path to healing for them. I have been r*ped and had the experience of my friend telling my father w/o my permission---- it's not the same, but it's in the wheelhouse and in my experience and in my opinion I think things coming into light/ being talked about openly is the best, maybe the only way to heal. I think ultimately this will be fine, and very possibly better for the people involved even if it takes a long time to shape up that way. There's a deshaming that comes with speaking about these things openly and receiving support--- I think talking about it is better and I think when people don't speak a lot of times it's less-healed than we would ever imagine.
SignificantTrain8543: And really, thanks for your support and insight, I never wanted to hurt them but I see now they must have been hurting hard this whole time.
| 7 | 6.571429 | |
1653170075 | 1653187664 | t3_uuwxi2 | t5_2to41 | 24,457 | mganga_mzungu: TIFU by leaving my underwear at my boyfriends flat
Alright... This didn't happen today but since I only learned about it today I think it counts.
A couple months ago my bf n I were in a LDR. I flew out to see him for a week, and when I left I accidentally left a pair or my underwear at his place. It had fallen under his bed so I hadn't noticed it when packing. He told me a couple weeks later that he had found them and had put them in the wash. No problem right? Wrong. God... I am mortified by what he told me today... I tend to discharge quite a lot after my period, and this was the case with said underwear. BUT CHRIST ALMIGHTY I did not expect him to tell me there was a WORM IN MY DISCHARGE. I know he loves me simply by the fact that he washed them, and said nothing to me until 6 months later. I'm embarrassed, don't know how the worm manifested it's way into my underwear.
A little drunk rn while typing this out so hopefully it makes sense. Strangers of the Internet enjoy this story as there is no way I'm telling this to anyone IRL.
TL;DR : worm in underwear, am mortified
Edit: spelling
Edit 2: Wow guys, this gained more attention than I expected, I just woke up, read through some comments. It in not a pinworm! This was 6 months ago and my butthole is itch free.
stealthxstar: a fly probably laid eggs on your underwear while it was chillin' under the bed and he found them when a maggot hatched.
Emu1981: \^- This. I highly doubt that there were worms in the underwear when the OP was wearing them. Fruit flies and regular flies love to lay eggs in decomposing proteins and fruit fly maggots do look a lot like little tiny worms.
Skinnwork: It's possible though. Pinworms migrate out of the anus, sometimes to the vagina or underwear.
geecon25: Sorry, WAT
Skinnwork: Ummm... I don't know what to tell you. Pin worms are gross. They crawl out of the anus to lay eggs, and sometimes they get lost.
ashamedprotein: Yeah internal parasites are the no joke. I watched a documentary where a bunch of worms basically set up an entire colony in this poor guy’s bowel. They weren’t able to remove the infestation until the guy used a micro-robot to enter his own body and threaten to destroy his medulla oblongata.
WhenSquirrelsFry: I was tripping on the beach in Puerto Rico and thought the sand felt amazing. I rolled around in the sand high as hell. The next day, I was covered in hundreds of sand flea bites. Fun fact! Sand fleas transmit parasitic larva to the next host! I got strongyloides stercoralis… but of course the only human parasitizing helminth that reproduces without leaving the host’s body via stool!! I was so itchy and had a horrible rash around my abdomen. I could feel them moving. It was my absolute worst nightmare. It got so bad I needed IV ivermectin and antibiotics, as I was on steroids, which allows strongyloides stercoralis to proliferate. Strongyloides Stercoralis Carries a 90% fatality rate for those on immune suppressing drugs too… fuckers.
My advice: don’t roll around on tropical beaches where parasites are endemic high on LSD.
TrainingSword: Just say you were trying to get rid of covid
WhenSquirrelsFry: I’m in a PA program now… im a believer of scientific research, sir. Ivermectin is an anti helminth, not antiviral.. & although I’ve *been* a fool, I’m not overall, a fool.
dryingsocks: fun fact, someone did an extensive analysis and (in a normal dose, not hardlining horse paste) Ivermectin did support recovery from covid… in areas where people commonly have parasites
WhenSquirrelsFry: Ivermectin along with other drugs can be apart of a comprehensive Lyme treatment, so it clearly works on both helminth and spirochete pathogens… but there’s not enough evidence to clear ivermectin as a treatment currently.
dryingsocks: I mean, we already have antivirals that demonstrably do something *and* a vaccine, I'd say lets stick with those and wait for more research
WhenSquirrelsFry: Yep! I agree.
| 14 | 1,746.928571 | |
1653170727 | 1653249122 | t3_uux58i | t5_2to41 | -1 | SiskiPipiski: TIFU by trying on panties in the fitting room of a store
[removed]
thebunnywhisperer_: Y’all, chill. Sure you might not like that she tried on panties but she doesn’t deserve so much negative attention about it. Some of the things people are saying are really, really mean. It’s not like she killed someone
metalbarbiewitch: Actually it could get someone really sick
Ever heard of an sti
thebunnywhisperer_: Are you seriously basing this on assumptions about her virginity now?
WetSocks98: She sells nudes lmao she s the farthest thing from virgin. 😂😂
| 5 | -0.2 | |
1653172235 | 1653175019 | t3_uuxm5j | t5_2to41 | 212 | Bhinni: TIFU by accidentally liking my crushes instagram pic from ages ago and then trying a line from tiktok to cover myself
Hi there, this is my first post on r/TIFU, not my first f up by any means but defo the worst f up I have had in a while.
So for some context, I (16M) have a crush who is 16 F in my school. To make things easier to write let's call my crush J (not her real name).
So wednesday evening I was looking through Js instagram account, browsing through the pictures (I don't think I was stalking her page tho but looking back it does seem rather creepy). Anyway so after going through some pictures of her, I get to this one picture of her doing a handstand thing in like a trampoline Park or smh from 7 years ago. And then I see a hair on my screen so I try to flick it off / do the awkward method where you try to get the hair to attach to your finger and then lift it off. So I manage to get the hair off my screen and go to bed later and think nothing of the encounter with the hair(not sure whose hair it actually was since it was grey and I have black hair lol), my screen and her instagram page.
Anyway tho, so on Thursday I get up, and go to school and I am immediately ambushed by J and her group of friends. At this point I'm kinda nervous as I'm face to face with my crush, but I'm also thinking that maybe I am in a high school musical film or smh and this is the part where she and her friends break into a song with her confessing her feelings for me and we all live happily ever after.
However what happens is that immediately she starts interrogating me like bro, why did you like my instagram pic from 7 yrs ago. At this point I'm completely stunned because I didn't know that I did, so I was denying this to her, effectively lying in her face even though I didn't know it, and so I go to pull out my phone to show her I wasn't lying and didn't like her pic. However as soon as I get to the pic I realise my massive mistake as I did indeed like it.
At this point J and her friends are in fits of laughter as I made a clown of myself and they then they start accusing me of stalking her and to get a life. However at that moment I had the divine inspiration from a tiktok I watched a while ago with a comeback that I was sure would win me back some face. So I open my mouth and say the words" I wasn't stalking you, you just haven't looked good for a while". Idk what I was expecting but tbf I think the reaction they gave me I completely deserved. They started calling me a paedo and laughing at me and I was burning in embarrassment as I just realised what I said, how I liked J when she was 9.
TL;DR: I accidently liked a pic of my crush from 7 years ago when she was 9, when she confronted me I tried to pull of a line I saw on tiktok but ended up looking like a paedo.
Stephreads: Just tell her you have a crush on her. Start with an apology, tell her you were embarrassed. Call her right now, no waiting, and fess up. Worst that can happen is an awkward silence. But the best? Worth the trouble.
Everyone scrolls through photos. It’s not creepy, it’s human nature. You like someone, and there’s a photo album at your fingertips. It’s perfectly normal.
Edit to add — yes, I mean call. No text, no dm, call. For so many reasons.
Bhinni: The thing is I'm pretty sure one of her friends recorded the whole thing and then posted it on one of her group chats as like I got sent a video of the entire thing by one of my friends, so I'm thinking the best thing to do now is to just stay away from J and wait for this whole thing to blow over, before my next attempt to get her to like me?
Stephreads: Eh. It’s now. If you wait, there will never be another better time. You’re embarrassed, your pride is a little dented, but so what? That’s the attitude that’s going to get you through this. With everyone. Tuck your tail between your legs, and it’ll always be like this with her. Just press on. Tell her, “I know I fucked up.”
Bhinni: OK so I tried to call her and well either her phone is dead or she's blocked me, so I think i will send her a message on ig explaining everything and hope she understands and hasn't blocked me yet lol
Stephreads: No! Send her a message that you’d like to talk, and ask her when a good time to call is.
Bhinni: Ok, haven't sent the ig message explaining everything yet, but you're probably right so I'll ask to talk w her to explain everything. If she's blocked me on ig too then I'll j explain it all to her at skl tho
Stephreads: Right. The last thing you want is your message forwarded all over. And you know you’d tell your friends, and so would she.
Bhinni: Yh tru! Thx for the help, hopefully I can get myself out of this hole I dug for myself at some point lol
Stephreads: It’s a small hole, and laughter is the way out.
Bhinni: That's deep (pun intended)
Stephreads: Ha- Use that sense of humor to your advantage!
Bhinni: OK will do! Hopefully in a future update to this I'll be able to say how J finally became my gf!
Stephreads: I’d love to know how it all turns out.
| 14 | 15.142857 | |
1653170759 | 1653236753 | t3_uux5lk | t5_2to41 | 3,119 | Saymoua: TIFU trying to make a child smile
I have the cutest pet bunny, very small and fluffy. When I'm carrying him outside (when traveling for instance) the children are often very interested in him.
I have taken the habit of turning his carrying bag towards children when they pass by, so that they can see him. Their reactions are always so cute.
Last day I was coming home with the bunny and I see this child passing by. She was a bit ahead of me so I call her : "hey, psst, wanna see something ?" and proceed to show her the bunny.
The child turns around, and it wasn't a child, but a middle-aged woman suffering from dwarfism. She gave me the most judgemental look ever, and walk away.
I felt terrible, and ran away.
TL;DR : mistook a little person for a child when trying to be cute
Picture of the bunny for good measure : [https://imgur.com/a/ZZeMrCW](https://imgur.com/a/ZZeMrCW)
Tolookah: Fuck, I'm a relatively tall male, and I'd be thrilled to get a "psst, check out my bunny" so long as there was no innuendo involved.
Psych0matt: In your endo
-J-L-B: My Nintendo
electricgopher42: My Brazilian wax poetic
philzebub666: I don't wanna beat around the bush.
InsertSmartassRemark: Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo.
WolfmanOHoulihan: marinate the nether rod
| 8 | 389.875 | |
1653171413 | 1653175117 | t3_uuxd0r | t5_2to41 | 8 | -primrose-: TIFU by sending my manager an innocent meme.
So my new stand in manager has only been appointed a couple days so is adjusting to the job change as they were previously in my job role. We are entertainers.
It’s quite a high pressure job and it just so happened that today nothing was going right or running on time due to technical issues.
This caused my manager and the team a lot of stress and meant that the manager was running back and forth between venues to sort problems from both.
I found a song for the end of the night disco (Lizzo - About Damn Time) and we are only allowed to play clean songs as it’s a family venue so this left me a little confused as the song said it was both.
Just before I sent the song my manager notified me they were coming back as I was on overtime.
Luckily it was funny and not taken the wrong way! 😂
TL;DR
I sent my manager a meme that almost ended up in upset but they found it funny.
HammletHST: I feel like there is half the story missing here
-primrose-: Ooo anything in particular, I’ll edit and go onto more detail :)
HammletHST: Well the most glaring thing: Your title and TLDR mention a meme, but your actual body of the post does not. What meme?
> I found a song for the end of the night disco (Lizzo - About Damn Time) and we are only allowed to play clean songs as it’s a family venue so this left me a little confused as the song said it was both.
Also just this sentence in general. Why were you confused? What is "both" in reference too, you only mention one condition (clean songs)? And then in the next sentence you mention that you didn't send the song after all, so you send nothing?
| 4 | 2 | |
1653174989 | 1653189597 | t3_uuyg73 | t5_2to41 | 8 | WrathOfTinySchnauzer: TIFU by telling someone I have a GF
Bit of backstory, my ex and I split about 2 weeks ago. We are still talking, but we are done. Today I was working and on my break I decided to bowl since I work at an alley and get to bowl for free. During this time, a really cute girl came up to me and asked me for my number. Like a fucking idiot, out of instinct I said “sorry, I have a girlfriend.” She accepted that and walked away. Then after about 10 seconds it hit me that I infact do not have a GF. I felt horrible because she looked genuinely sad. But probably for the best, since there is no way in hell i’m over my ex. But definitely a missed opportunity, since she seemed really nice. Hopefully next time I remember to not be completely stupid.
TLDR; On a break, girl asked for number said I had a girlfriend, instant regret.
Any-Confusion-4526: She could have been your rebound chick.
shesavillain: it’s a good thing he slipped and said he had a gf, then.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1653175352 | 1653179048 | t3_uuyk14 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Legendary_dovahduck: TIFU by being tempted by a sardine can
[removed]
ExoticButters79: I am now dummer for reading this
OkVolume1: I thought you said drummer.
ExoticButters79: Also yes
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1653175040 | 1653231512 | t3_uuygqx | t5_2to41 | 42 | JustAnExoticMess: TIFU almost burned my house down durring a power outage
So freak storm today knocked out power all through town and neighboring cities. I came home from work to my bearded dragon (who should have a 95°+ basking spot) curled up in the corner at 78° in the pitch dark. So i took her out to warm her out and hang out at a window for some uv. I turned off what i thought was the light that was turned on this morning. (I alternate between a 100w and a 50w or both depending how hot or cold it is, my house is terribly drafty).
So instead of turning OFF the 50w that i thought was left on, i turn it ON along with the other 100w that was still on (power still out so I was praying i was right). Anywho fast forward an hour and the power comes back on! Yay!
WRONG!!!
I came back upstairs to put her away and let her actually bask when i smell melting plastic and see smoke... so i run to the back and see BOTH of her light ON on the counter.. on a oven mit and a puppy pad... there was smoke everywhere! And the oven mit and the pad were turned to burning charcoal.
So with her still on my shoulder smuthered under some pjs so she didnt breathe it in, i had to shut off and move the lights, carry the fire to the damn bathroom and put it out, turn on a bunch of fans to push the smoke out, open a window AND cover up all my other reptiles to protect them from it. And proceed to take my dragon back down stairs even tho shes already getting antsy ..
UUUGGGGGG.
And now another hour later the power is out AGAIN!!!😭😭
This day needs to end.. okay im done, thanks for listening
TL;DR power outage had me confused, left 2 lights on ontop of an oven mit. When power came back on it burned through the oven mit. Had to put out the fire and protect my other pets from the smoke fumes with a dragon on my shoulder
ilovedaryldixon: Well. I’m glad everything and everyone is ok. It could have been bad. I liked that you covered her in pj’s so she wouldn’t breathe in the fumes. !
JustAnExoticMess: Thanks, i worry about all my pets waay too much sometimes 😅
twitcht: 100% relatable content.
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1653176438 | 1653178974 | t3_uuyve7 | t5_2to41 | 34 | gayjay-jpg: TIFU by putting a disposable vape inside me
[removed]
taspenwall: I don't think you should be having sex if your that stupid.
gayjay-jpg: *you're
VocaLeekLoid: You're definitely not old enough for sex if that's your reply
gayjay-jpg: I'm 69 years old.
VocaLeekLoid: Thanks for proving my point.
gayjay-jpg: 69 is the sex number
thatsoundthough: Your
| 8 | 4.25 | |
1653179248 | 1653180330 | t3_uuzodr | t5_2to41 | 3 | Tough_Passenger_8497: TIFU by having sex with my friends gf.
[removed]
NoJudgementTho: How do you mistake fucking a girl for fucking a guy? Didn't the lack of a penis or the presence of tits clue you in?
Tough_Passenger_8497: I was super drunk, and just ready to have sex with anyone at the moment.
NoJudgementTho: I mean, that explains why you were willing but not how you didn't know.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1653179406 | 1653179788 | t3_uuzq3c | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU Talks Episode #7! Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU talks!
[deleted]
IdealTruths: It is quiet
JC1812: No one seems to be speaking. Lol
Knovoselich: Yo quiero hablar
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1653179329 | 1653180635 | t3_uuzp8w | t5_2to41 | 10 | Cithe01: TIFU By not checking spam
So… Backstory:
My loan for my car was pretty bad, and I wanted to pay lower on my monthly payments and have just my name on the car, due to county laws and stuff to abide by. Anyway, I had signed up to get refinanced, so as to get, again, a better rate and have the car in my name. There were a couple of emails sent to me from the people that were able to refinance it for a little better price. Good. They sent me an email that details needed to be filled out by the initial loan's cosigner. The deadline for it getting filled out was a week away. I heard nothing for that week, and thought, "alright! Everything is good and it went through!". Today, I got a call from the original loan bureau, and I brushed it off, thinking it might be them attempting to get me back. Then I got to thinking, and checked my email, thinking "oh, I probably missed an email from my new loan bureau for confirmation of the transfer." I went into my Yahoo Mail (important!!), and checked. Nothing. Huh, peculiar. I called the number provided for assistance, and, lo and behold, I was denied because of a lack of communication before the deadline. I recoiled and told them that I never got any kind of notification of anything. They notified me that it might be in my spam. And, checking, there it was. Yahoo Mail decided to flag it as spam.
TL;DR: Vehicle refinancing email sent to spam, didn't get checked, I got wrecked (with credit score and financially). Also, don't trust Yahoo Mail with emails unless you pay them for prime (no customer service unless you pay them for it)
IcedFreon: Yahoo mail is still a thing?
Yahoo is still a thing?????
EnragedZeus05: Queue “you’re still using AOL?”’followed by “how do you still have an excite email?! Just how?!”
Edit: a word
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1653180687 | 1653187636 | t3_uv0352 | t5_2to41 | 64 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #7! Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU talks! (Part 2)
lobonchy: Mod needs to chill though
TheMilkyman__: Justice for me
Lopsided_Database_73: Ohh your the milk man..
lobonchy: You're****
Lopsided_Database_73: Excuse me? \*\*\*\*\*
lobonchy: Corrected your grammar bro. Your average grammar police here. Nothing hidden in those asterisks lmao
Lopsided_Database_73: I didn’t say anything to you…Why are you trying to correct my grammar? Does it matter? Is this because of the Milkman comment because I’m totally aware of my bad grammar mistake.But i doesn’t matter💀like I’m sure you don’t even have you life togther but your correctping my grammar💢⁉️Omg people these days don’t bother replying because I’m replying and I’m not gonna keep replying to some 14-15 year old💀.Just know I’m aware of my mistakes😀👍🏽 And maybe correct your mistake….IN LIFE😼
Lopsided_Database_73: ​
lobonchy: "I'm not gonna reply to some 14-15 year old"
** Continues to reply** lmao.
You got me some good laughs today thanks lol
Lopsided_Database_73: ahahah….
| 11 | 5.818182 | |
1653181652 | 1653506124 | t3_uv0cx0 | t5_2to41 | 44 | Human_Injury_6775: TIFU by leaving a cat stranded (and also leaving a weekend date 90 minutes after arrival).
**90 Minutes Upstate: A Love Story**
TIFU by agreeing to go on a weekend date, and leaving 90 minutes in and a cat stranded.
I know this is long, and I apologize.
If you don't want the backstory, skip the first two sections.
I had to write this down because I knew I'd eventually forget the little details (stoner girl). I spent the morning thinking about it, and this is too ridiculous not to share.
TLDR: Bottom
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I'd like to preface this with a few facts about me. In the last 23 years, I have LIVED A LIFE. (Lived. Loved. Learned. If you will.) During these years I have made a few rules for my happiness, that I will not back down from. Namely, when a person shows you who they are, believe them. AND that I will not spend my free time doing ANYTHING I do not want to do. (Whether I am sick, have to work, am too tired (depressed or anxious), or I just don't want to f'ing do it. I owe very little people my time, money, or an explanation. I will not force myself to do things simply because I said I would during a 'moment of yes'. The moment is no now, sorry. My time is valuable, life is short. I won't waste my time being unhappy. (Facts are facts. Obligatory social events are no longer a thing in my life.)
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After a mostly lovely first date (that lasted afternoon into night, many calls, and pleasant texts I (F41) made a decision. I said yes. When he (M38) offered me a little glimpse into his life, I took it. (I figured why waste my time if I was going to end up hating his actual real life? And while a 2 hour distance is more than fine with me - a 24/7 relationship isn't my thing- but maybe it's his thing? So, it's a fine idea to find out all about his life now. The intel gained here would normally take me 3 months to figure out. Eff it.)
When he asked if I would attend a concert with him on Saturday night in Crappy CityTown Two Plus Hours Away, I happily agreed. (He didn't have his kids on Saturday nights, the drive is easy, no big deal. AND he had passed the background check. I'm basically the FBI with enough information given -- spoken, on social media, texted, etc. They all sink their own ship sooner or later. I prefer to catch it early.
Then he asked if I wanted to come up Friday night? His kids would only be there in the morning. (Okay I can sleep in and hide… makes sense if I'm making the drive.) Fine.
Then his kids were going to be there until 4pm, but they will be fine for a few hours. (Won't a 4 year old know something is weird here? No, I'm not going to question his parenting, he says it's good, it's good.) Okay.
(Throughout the week, texts were exchanged, I dodged a questionable bullet when he asked me to come up Thursday night (even earlier) and work from his house. I had assumed he was just a little smitten and probably just said something and couldn't take it back /was joking. Slight red flag when he told me that he purchased "$300 worth of groceries for me" (me, specifically), but he never once asked me what I liked/ ate. I knew that tactic, he was trying to pass off his weekly grocery bill as if it were an act of making me comfortable, but okay…. Admittedly, I eat like an unsupervised toddler at a birthday party.)
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Friday comes, I work, get my nails done, get pretty, pack my cutest and least sweat inducing clothes to survive the record high heat that will probably kill me, including an adorable sundress purchased specifically for a concert at a brewery on a random 100 degree day in May
I arrive and he greets me outside, I notice he is wearing plaid pajama pants (Was black not an option? It's still daylight. Okay, don't be judgey. Maybe he just got out of the shower…..it's weird, but probably fine. Although, it looks like he hasn't had an edge up in years and just wandered out of the woods one day. My guy had facial hair growing on his cheeks. Why did I prepare so hard for this?)
I go to my trunk to get my bags (I always use three bags when I pack -- for organizational purposes, not large bags, just three of them.) and he turns his back to me, looking at his apartment. I get my three bags and close the trunk as he starts walking to his door. I throw a bag in his hands, irritated that he didn't even pretend to try to offer to take one, but maybe he's nervous?).
At his door, which he reached first, a cat is shoo'ed away and cries out. "Oh you have a cat?" I asked. (The cat seemed super confused and almost hurt.) "No. F that cat. He's outside." (Okay, maybe there's a feral situation happening here, this area certainly seems like it would attract a few feral colonies at least. He doesn't really know my animal rescue background or else he'd certainly have shared this story earlier.)
I step in the door and the smell smacks me dead in the face. Cat piss. (Did the cat piss on his door?) Due to the random humidity his AC is on, which made any smell so much worse.
I walk through the apartment with him and place my bags in his bedroom, while I notice his bed has no sheets, he announces his sheets are still in the wash because he ran out of time. (He's got 2 kids, I don't know what that's like. Fine.)
I go back into the living room preparing to settle in to watch a movie. He comes out and hands me a hard seltzer (which I did say I liked) and he opens a beer. Then he runs around the apartment cleaning for a few minutes while I sit on the couch and he says "I really need a grinder and some vape." (Random) "Oh where do you get those?" He answers with, "up the street". (Okay, I did make fun of him last time for not owning a grinder or knowing how to operate a raw cone and his proclamation that he was a "new stoner". He's probably just making plans for tomorrow.)
While cleaning, he asked if his "apartment smelled like cat?" (Bruh.) "Piss? Yes. It smells like cat piss in here if that is what you are asking. You can get rid of that, have you tried Odo Ban?" (Gross.) "Yes! It's coming from here!" he says while pointing on the floor next to his recliner. "Wait. Was that cat outside yours?" (Please say no) "Only for a few days. He pissed all over. I kicked him out a month ago!" (Please say he came in from outside.) "Oh. Did you adopt him?" "I got him from some lady but she lied about him being neutered and he pissed all over, all the time." (Oh okay….) "Yea, I gotta get spray and spray this whole thing." (You haven't cleaned it in a month? I smell lies and cat piss.) I was silent so he asked "Why do you look disgusted like that?" (Sht. My face.) "Oh no. This is just…. My face." (At 38, I would hope you'd know enough to research what a cat needs before getting one.) "Yea I had 3 at my exes. It never smelled like this." (Seriously?) "Was she the one who cleaned it?"
He quickly decided he needed to purchase the aforementioned spray and said, "I'm going to go to the store, is that okay?" (What did he just say? His kids are here.) "Where is the store?" (My dude is not about to send me to a store for 2 items he could have purchased anytime in the days since the first date.) "Just up the street. 5 minutes!" "Okay??" He looked a little annoyed and asked "Why are you making that face? What is wrong?" (Oh F. My face!) "You can run to the store if you want." (There is no way this man remembered the name of the spray.)
He promises his kids never wake up and grabs a fresh beer from the fridge and puts it in a flannel pajama pocket and walks to the door. "You're taking a beer to drive up the street?" I asked. "Yea you know, once I start drinking I can't stop." (This seems trashy and ridiculous.) "Great." (Oh that was too deadpan. He's noticing.) "No! No! Not like that!" he said laughing as if I had just said something ridiculously funny. He puts the beer in his pants and leaves.
A few minutes pass and I hear a Little Dude (LD) crying "Daddy, where did you go? Daddy. Daddy." (What the actual F.) "Oh no love, it's okay. I'm just the babysitter. He will be right back. I promise." This seemed to satisfy LD and he went back to sleep. (Phew. And also, WTF?)
On my walk back to the couch, I step in something wet. Next to the recliner. (OMG! What was that? Maybe the kids spilled something. But then why did he point there and announce that was the spot after walking in that exact spot? My patented paper towel test proved positive for a yellow smelly substance. I know enough about animals, after 10+ years of both working with animals, animal rescue and owning animals to know, that I can legally declare the wet spot to be cat piss.
I look around for signs of a cat, and as I toss the paper towel, I see a bunch of litter in the bottom of the empty trash bag in the kitchen. (This mf'er kicked his cat out of his house moments before I arrived.)
He returns from the store, carrying whatever the H he said he was getting, including a spray for spot treating clothes (definitely not the brand I suggested).
I immediately ask, "When was the last time the cat was here?" He says a month ago. While pointing to the recliner, I ask "Then why is it wet right there?" He tried to pass it off by saying that the wet rug was, "from" him. (Is it YOUR pee?) When he asked why I was giving him a look of disgust, I just muttered "my face" and shrugged.
His child wakes up and I hear LD cry for Daddy. He panicked and asked me "have they been up?" (Duh.) "Yup." I replied. (I assume LD heard him and wanted to double verify LD was not going to be on the next episode of Dateline: Kids Edition, and walked into the living room. So he turns off the lights in the loving room, sits in the cat piss recliner, and rocks LD back to sleep. I took this opportunity to close my eyes and think about what I had done. What an absolute f'd first hour of a second date. If he had been caught drinking and driving, or, with an open container, or, whatever…. While he had nothing worrisome in the criminal portion of the background check… that doesn't mean there's definitely nothing there. I wouldn't know if he was on some local cop's mental radar, and what the F was I supposed to do with the kids if something happened?
Eventually he walks past me and intentionally walks into my arm trying to wake me up. (I'm not asleep, idiot.) I look over and he has all of his weed sprawled out onto the coffee table and is trying to fill a raw cone, while moving the weed around the coffee table with a credit card, like everyone who smokes pot cocaine does.
I sit up and look down. I see his child is 2 feet away laying on the floor next to the recliner. In. The. Cat. Piss.
I look at him and he's showing off his dope raw cone filling skills and says, "I can't believe they woke up. I swear they never wake up. I even gave them melatonin, hahahaha!" (What the H did he just say? Those kids are 2 and 4, and there is no way this dude ever actually sought a doctors advice on giving toddlers melatonin.)
So I asked, "Why?" (I don't get it. Not my business, but also, WTF?) "You know," he grins, "in case we get into some freaky sht" while giggling like a hyena who is simultaneously dying and mating.
(Surely he didn't just say he basically drugged his very young children with off-brand melatonin in the hopes of loud sex? …. Am I getting paid for this? He's treating me like a prostitute. What the F does he think is happening in here tonight? Why is he grinning while squaring up his pot? That kid is in cat piss. I'm not crazy. He's playing with weed 2 feet from LD's head. None of this is good. I hate this life.)
As I internally screamed, I also apparently opened my mouth and said, "Nope. No. I can't traumatize your kids. I can't do this. (Don't Apologize. F this guy, this is definitely weird.) I'm gonna' go. I'll come back tomorrow after they leave and I can't scare them. (Don't apologize. Tell him whatever shuts him up while you get out.) While I quickly and quietly step over his sleeping son, grab the bags (that I carried in), and swiftly got to the door. He stepped in between me and the door, I looked him up and down then glared into his eyes and he got out of my way. "You're being so weird. Are you serious? You can't be serious. You drove all this way." (Walk. Walk. Don't feel bad.) And I left while whisper-insisting that it was fine, no big deal, in the most non- threatening way a person can leave a house, while I watched his face change from stunned to angry.
And on my way out, I surprised the cat at the door.
Of the apartment.
That he clearly lives in.
He sent texts that Siri read to me while I drove, "Don't bother coming back tomorrow." (Imma' let you have this one, Guy, I am sure your self-esteem took a hit tonight.) "My kids are fine!" (You're welcome.) and "That was so random and weird you knew my kids were here when ya came" (Yup. sure did, but I didn't know you lived like THAT, Sir.) I ignored them and kept driving.
Definitely TIFU: The only guilt I feel is Cat Guilt. I didn't go get a cat carrier for that cat to take him somewhere, but the neighborhood was a little sketch in daylight and a lot sketch at night. I didn't know where I was, it was dark and I just wanted out. It wasn't cold outside and I wasn't trying to go back to his place, even if I could locate a cat carrier at 11pm in Crappy Crappy City Upstate. Driving in the dark, through a totally new place is the absolute worst for me.
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TLDR; I decided to see how a guy I was interested in lived. Since he was 2.5 hours away I decided to just jump in (after full quality checks) on a weekend. I left 90 minutes after I arrived because I think he drugged his toddlers in order to have some wild sex with me (that he premeditated in his head and did not clear with me beforehand, so it wasn't going to happen anyway). I couldn't imagine spending my weekend there, where lies and cat piss lived. I left, but I didn't rescue the cat he kicked out of his house... because I didn't have a carrier, and I feel guilty not getting one and going back to help the cat. What kind of grown adult thinks throwaway pets are okay?
ETA: Typos
DrG2390: I have no words.. I’m so sorry op. If it makes anyone feel better I was in a similar situation to op only I lived at the house.
My husband and I had a horrible roommate and we had two cats. By some miracle we got out of the situation and our cats are happy and thriving in our new quiet house.
I really really don’t want to make this about me.. I just had to put out a positive story about cats escaping situations like that.
DiverInevitable2149: I love this story! Thank you!
| 3 | 14.666667 | |
1653181783 | 1653188838 | t3_uv0e7h | t5_2to41 | 20 | femmeshepp: TIFU by soiling the carpet in the house.
This didn't actually happen today but last weekend. Also sorry for being verbose, I have issues being concise.
This might be a strange way to start off, but because of events that have happened to me in the past, I have a hyperfixation on sex. Like, any and everything to a slightly unreasonable degree can make me think about sex, and then want it. But, also because of the afore-mentioned events, I also have issues with being touched "down there."
I get basically very ticklish and panic whenever I'm touched "there" by anything other than a penis. And even then, I sometimes still get a little panicky when it is **just** a penis. As you can see, this creates a dilemma wherein I'm constantly vying for something that I can't have without having a mild anxiety attack.
But, this past weekend, I had been on Zoloft for weeks. Like a lot of people, this has decreased my libido. However, on Saturday night in particular, I was randy (used only for comedic effect) and started to do the dirty dance with my fiancé, spontaneously on the carpet. I've been on a couple psych meds before, but I think the Zoloft has been different in that I was slightly more relaxed.
Relaxed, as in, my head was not thinking about everything that's ever happened, and I also didn't have to force myself to not panic. Rather, I was just in the moment and feeling very free. Maybe it was because of the Zoloft, maybe it was because we were on the floor, maybe it was because my fiancé still had the recent Lego Star Wars Skywalker Saga remake on in the background. Whatever it was, it was different, and very, very good.
Except, maybe it was too good. Because suddenly I was there on my back with Jar Jar in the background and then I felt very, very warm in a liquid-y sort of way in my nether regions. My brain registered the sensation, but because of how preoccupied I was with actually enjoying myself, it didn't really click at first. This happens 3 other times while on the floor, but my head is too blissed out to remember.
We finish up and things get back to normal, until the next day, when my fiancé is on the floor gaming again. He asks me if I smell something, and after a quick sniff, I remark that I don't. He says he's been smelling it while being on the floor all day.
I look at where he is sitting, realizing that there is a plastic bag on the area of the floor where we porked the night before. The bag was seemingly out of place, and I remember that my cat has a habit of covering spills with anything nearby.
I lift the bag and sniff the floor, getting a big 'ol whiff of squirt. While it doesn't stink, per se, it is very, um, "musky" and smells similar to how a vagina would smell regardless, but liquified. I'd forgotten about the warm sensation I'd felt, and the carpet in our house is a dark brown/beige color that doesn't easily show stains.
TL;DR: I squirted on the floor, forgot about it, and left a day-old stain that could give the "this smells like my vagina" candle a run for its money.
OkVolume1: Do you own this place?
femmeshepp: Unfortunately, I do not. Fortunately, we own a carpet shampooer.
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1653182046 | 1653189191 | t3_uv0gs0 | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU By showing a customer my fresh self harm cuts TW
[removed]
whoistjharris: Hey while that might have been super embarrassing for you, it made you realize that you have an issue you need to work on. I hope that you are getting help. If you aren’t please do. Text HOME to 741741 to text with a free counselor. I had a friend who self harmed and they were able to work through it. It’s a tough road but you can do it. I wish nothing but the best for you!
SlammyWhammies: Adding on: You absolutely can do this OP. I self harmed through essentially all of high-school. Even after I "quit" I would have a relapse event once or twice a year. But now, I haven't harmed myself in about 2 or 3 years, and haven't done it regularly for 8.
Please remember wherever this journey takes you, the path does not have to be linear. Obviously that would be ideal, but change is HARD. Do not be hard on yourself. Even 10 steps forward, 9 steps back, will eventually get you to your destination. I hope it's not that tumultuous for you, but I just want to stress to be kind to yourself even if it feels like things aren't going as smoothly as you'd like.
SH essentially overwrites your other coping mechanisms, it makes it especially difficult to stop, but it is by no means impossible. It is ok for it to be hard, just keep trying your best, whatever that means to you.
I believe in you and I am rooting for you, OP.
badbettybang: I appreciate you taking the time to write that
| 4 | 12 | |
1653175029 | 1653279606 | t3_uuygmb | t5_2to41 | 9 | HashtagV: TIFU by releasing gas on some unsuspecting kid.
This was during the middle of the week, so not today but a couple days ago.
So I’ve been at work all day and my stomach felt a little rumbly after lunch. I’m holding it because I work in a cubicle pod and my gas is not silent and they smell terrible. I go to the bathroom when I am not busy but I end up holding in my foul concoction and it stews until the end of work.
Fast forward, I leave work, and get to the gym. I walk into the locker room and I’m alone. My earbuds are already in, I’m in the zone. Mid change I start letting them fly and they’re coming out on beat, as I nod my head another one comes out and matches the beat and they’re loud. I know this because even though my earbuds are in, I can slightly hear it and I can feel the vibration you get from loud farts.
Now, there is only one way into the locker room. There are two rows of lockers and they all the end on a wall. About two minutes in to my ballad of farts a kid, about 8-10, walks from behind me. He passes me and he doesn’t look me in the eye. He keeps his face straight and he just glances at me. He doesn’t make a face but I can feel his disgust. I don’t blame him, as it is an accurate response to the absolute torture I have subjected him to.
I’m going through it in my head saying, “how did I miss someone in the same row as me.” For some more context the rows are no more than 10 feet long, so I should’ve seen him. It also means that he was in close proximity to me.
Anyways that’s my TIFU of how I scarred this kid.
TLDR: made the mistake of holding in my gas all day and releasing them on some unsuspecting kid.
AcrobaticSource3: That’s not how farts work, you can’t just save them for hours
HashtagV: Ma’am you are 100% incorrect regarding my body, I have held farts in for longer than 4 hours, so from lunch until the end of my shift is nothing.
AcrobaticSource3: Omg, not kidding, you are a fart god...once I feel the rumble in my intestines, I can hold it for a few minutes max, so in that little time, it’s like a movie with a countdown clock before a bomb explodes...I run around needing to find a safe place to release my fart into the wild
HashtagV: I used to fart quickly but as I got older, something happened to my intestines and I can feel the gas but it won’t go where’s it’s suppose to.
I won’t lie, it hurts to hold them in and some slip out but I’m usually so busy I can’t step out to go to the bathroom. My supervisor also works in the same cubicle as me. He’s a great guy but I don’t want him have to deal with me leaving every for minutes to fart.
Aiuner: You sound like someone who might want to try probiotics. Something about what you just said just doesn’t sound like having a “healthy gut” to me. Might fart less frequently and less smelly too.
Kudos for your efforts to not let the farts interupt work, just be careful you don’t hold shit in (both figuratively and literally) too long by doing so. It’s really not good to hold in the waste products your body is trying to get rid of, even if it’s just bad gas.
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1653185371 | 1653185864 | t3_uv1d5u | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to survive off of cocaine and Adderall instead of oxygen
[removed]
BROQUAMAN5000: I'm at a loss for words
[deleted]: Why? Is it not normal to do coke?
BROQUAMAN5000: Bud, you thought doing coke and adderall would substitute oxygen.
Still unsure of what to say
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1653185529 | 1653189265 | t3_uv1epl | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by feeling myself up at my girlfriend's apartment.
[deleted]
cute_red_benzo: I really really really really really really feel like you're overthinking this. Nobody in their right mind would break up with someone over this. Period.
throwaway485848: I really really really think you might be on to something there.. I tend to overthink quite often and luckily this comment section has calmed me down quite a bit
.
DissidentDiscontent: If she’d break up with you over this, she’d be doing you a favor in the long run cus bish is cra
| 4 | 15.5 | |
1653186029 | 1653210107 | t3_uv1jgy | t5_2to41 | 8 | throwawaystd98: TIFU by losing a cotton swab up my ass
So, this morning I made an std test at home with one of these kits where you get a swab and a test tube with liquid and then you send it to the lab. I had already done one of these before so I was doing everything quite routinely and fast without looking at the instructions (BTW which are written in Dutch and I don't know any Dutch).
First off you need to take the swab and insert it 3-5cm up your ass. Then you should rub the swab around for 10 seconds. I insert it and quite confidently put it deep without thinking about it too much since I just want an accurate result and it doesn't feel uncomfortable (this is where the FU happened). I start rubbing the swab around and I am being a bit aggressive since I want a good sample and then I hear one of the most traumatising sounds of my life: SNAP... The end of the swab had snapped if and now I'm left with just a plastic stick in my hand.
I obviously start panicking here since I know it is easy to loose objects up there but I need to do my best to relax my anus since clenching would only make it worse. Now this is easier said than done once the panic is setting in and all the instincts are making me clench as hard as I can. I NEED to grab it out! So I put my thumb inside (no lube) and try to find the end of the broken swab. My thumb eventually finds the sharp end of the broken plastic but I notice that it is pointing upwards and is almost turned sideways. I can really feel the adrenaline rushing now and I am doing everything in my power to not clench or poke it further with my thumb. I try to calm down and make a plan. I know I cannot stretch enough to get two fingers in there and grab the swab or just push it out since it is almost sideways. I decide to reach my thumb on top of the stick and press it downwards so that it would be pointing directly out and I could push it out. This took a lot of willpower and effort but eventually I managed to line it up and push with my all my ass muscles to get the end of the stick out and grab it out of there.
Now, these sticks are supposed to break in order for the stick to fit inside the test tube for transportation to the lab. The combination of too much confidence, too weak stick and Dutch instructions just made for a really traumatising morning. I was shaking and hyperventilating for a while after I got it out but now I'm feeling better despite some roughness down there due to the sharp broken stick poking around.
But what really required the willpower was when I realised that I had probably not gotten a decent sample since the rubbing git caught short. So I had to put the swab back in!! Luckily this time I didn't go too deep or be too rough and I think I managed to get a decent sample and was able to send it to the lab.
TLDR: Std testing swab broke in half inside my ass and almost turned sideways.
Trouble_in_Mind: Wow that's one heck of a mess up xD
Also, idk if it's the same for STD tests, but ik for some other medical swabs that going deeper isn't actually better. Like one of the COVID test swabs I've encountered, if you go "past" the depth they tell you to swab, you might actually miss the area where the relevant ick is located. Like by going deeper, you're going to miss the chance to culture what needs to be cultured.
throwawaystd98: Hmm. Good to know XD. I feel like everyone is flexing about how deep they can stick the swab for the covid home tests
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1653190011 | 1653190846 | t3_uv2khl | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally getting in a relationship
[deleted]
sam_y2: The good news: this is all online, you can block them and move on.
The bad news: I think you got married... congrats?
Sage_sickness: Yeah but at the same time I’m kinda worried if I just do that and don’t talk they’ll off themselves but I might
sam_y2: If you have the capacity to engage them, and try to get them help, or even just talk them down a bit, that's great, but ultimately you need to take care of yourself. It isn't on you, and it's OK to walk away.
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1653190232 | 1653194355 | t3_uv2mf2 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Wrong_Celebration_14: TIFU by maybe breaking up with my gf(I honestly don’t know if I did or not)
[removed]
princessm1423: You didn’t accidentally break up with her, she was trying to break up with you
Wrong_Celebration_14: Probably true, but thing was she wanted to get back together, I want it final if we break up, but I don’t wanna break up
Renva: Then make it final. She's made it clear that she doesn't care about you in the same way or as much as you care for her. She knows this, and is using it to her advantage. Don't settle for someone who does crap like this.
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1653191893 | 1653203164 | t3_uv31ia | t5_2to41 | 5 | DelinquentWolf: TIFU by forgetting my poem lines in front of the whole highschool
This happened a few hours ago. Our school have been organizing this poem-reading activity/show. We were up to 9 to 10 people. I was doing pretty good in the trainings. I wasn't stuttering, or forgetting any of my lines. My poem was the longest of them all, so I have to admit, I was a little scared, and oh boy, I really was right to be scared.
Normally I'm pretty good at getting to stages, but this time it felt different. The poem was so long I kept forgetting things, and the teachers only gave us 2 days to practice our poems. That was not enough for me. To memorise a poem this big, they had to give me at least a week. But, I am good at memorising, (so I thought) and didn't really think much of it.
So today came. This darn day. When I was in the back of the stage, I could hear everyone just shouting and trying to find empty seats.
So, the show began. My friends one by one got up on stage and read their poems. Everything was going fine, while they were reading, I was practicing at the back of the stage. Then, my turn came. I slowly began walking to the stage and as soon as I read my first line, my mind turned black. I couldn't remember anything. I was just looking to the bright tracking light, emotionless. When I finally became concious again, I started to panic. I remembered nothing of the poem, and in my mind, I said: "Fuck it."
I started mumbling random things, some of them weren't even words. Think of a guy trying to speak underwater. My voice is good, so I was mumbling random things with my poem voice. I could hear some gigglings but I couldn't see anyone because of the bright tracking light.
When I gave up and stopped reading, I slowly tilted my head down, and gave a smile. To my shock, I got a applause.
Plus, I dropped the mic too.
I didn't know if the applause was for being kind or me literally pulling it off with just saying random words. When I got out stage with the entire group, none of my friends seemed so bothered. They just said: "Your voice came a little weird, but it was nice."
My teacher didn't think the same. She thought it was such a bad thing for me to screw up in front of the entire HS, and said that the higher ups were gonna have a long chat with me.
Just wanted to share it here.
TL,DR: My teachers gave me 2 days for me to memorise a big poem and when the show time came, I forgot everything and just started mumbling random things. Somehow it worked, but my teacher isn't happy so now I might face detention.
AnkitD: First, the applause was for you trying. Speaking in front of an audience can be very hard. You had two days to memorize which is not that much time.
Second, your teacher should not be a teacher based on her comments. She is more worried about the school’s rep than in educating and that is a bad thing.
Lastly, don’t worry about it… Everyone that has done any public speaking has gone through this. Not just in HS but in professional situations as well. I can speak from personal experience as well as seeing others. Learn from this and why it might have happened, so, you can understand what to do next time, is possible, and move on.
DelinquentWolf: Appreciate it man. That comforted me.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653194687 | 1653232435 | t3_uv3q58 | t5_2to41 | 347 | [deleted]: Tifu playing pong
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PM_ME_UR_SEXTOYS: Gonna hide some comments way down here too
PM_ME_UR_SEXTOYS: I had things to do today, but that's all on the back burner now
PM_ME_UR_SEXTOYS: Waste all my time
PM_ME_UR_SEXTOYS: Because I gotta get this comment count up
| 90 | 3.855556 | |
1653194577 | 1653258941 | t3_uv3p8z | t5_2to41 | 63 | jtho78: TIFU assuming everyone is on Reddit
I was running around picking up groceries and it was the first sunny day in our area. This means we switch from brown liquor to Gin for the summer. Trader Joe's doesn't have tonic so I swung by our local bodega. Walking up there was a weathered guy with a bike cracking open an Arizona Iced Tea. As I walked in I called out how awesome it was that those tallboys have stayed 99 cents forever. This and the Costco hot dog is an ongoing joke avoiding inflation.
Welp, walking to the counter in the corner of my eye I see this guy spitting tea on my windshield. I asked him WTF and he said he thought I was making fun of his situation (of being poor). To me he didn't look poor, just a guy with a bike that was thirsty
TLDR Thought I was being friendly to a guy drinking a can of tea and he took it as an insult and spit on my car.
pnwWaiter: This isn't a FU, that guy is an asshole. Taking a joke personally is a character flaw, and if he had any kind of awareness or general trust, he should have thought better.
Fuck him, with all due respect.
jtho78: Thanks. I should have mentioned I was wearing a mask so maybe it was tough to read my tone. Then again, how is class status identified by the type of bottled tea you drink?
pnwWaiter: He was probably against you for the mask, if I had to guess.
| 4 | 15.75 | |
1653205123 | 1653340163 | t3_uv62m4 | t5_2to41 | 1,440 | FakeNathanDrake: TIFU by buying a mattress
For a while now my mattress has been on the way out, after only four years of use. It developed a big dip under where I sleep, I’ve been getting occasional back and shoulder pain, my partner had been getting hip pains. The mattress was advertised as “No Flip” so there wasn’t much worth doing. Enough was enough so we decided to buy a new one, leaving me £1000 poorer.
The new mattress was due to be delivered the other day so we moved the old one in preparation, and this is where we FU. On the underside of the mattress was a sticker, which said “Sleeping side - do not flip mattress”. All this time we’d had the mattress the wrong way round.
TLDR: an expensive and painful mistake caused by not paying attention
Edited/resubmitted in order to meet the minimum character requirements
coen_dw: Damn that sucks, I hope you can cancel the order
FakeNathanDrake: Too late, the mattress came that day.
On the plus side, it’s a really good mattress.
coen_dw: You can't return it?
rathlord: I’m not sure about everywhere but I believe in many places there are laws about reselling/returning mattresses- I believe stemming from bed bug concerns.
Odd_Conversation1295: Most mattresses come with a no hassle return policy for a pretty long amount of time since it can take a while to break in. I bought a tempurpedic about a year ago and I'm pretty sure I could return it within the first 90 days if I wanted to. I actually did return one after about 3-4 weeks, it was way too firm, exchanged it for a softer one that has been amazing.
unhappy_pro: You can return mattresses, the companies just end up throwing them away as they can't be re-sold
NissanLeafDriver: My local charity shops sell used mattresses, they are professionally cleaned though
rathlord: Double check- in many places in the US things like Habitat for Humanity ReStore sell mattresses in their “used” furniture, but they’re actually new- just very cheap.
NissanLeafDriver: I’m in the uk, the employees confirmed that they’re used mattresses
rathlord: Gotcha, yeah it’s interesting where it’s controlled and where not. I don’t know if bedbugs are as much an epidemic there as they are in the US.
NissanLeafDriver: I don’t think bed bugs are common here, doesn’t mean they don’t exist though
sonnigfreitag: In the U.S. it was the BIG news item for awhile. Much like the extremely virulent TB that everyone in prison or on a plane was going to get. People, including reporters, get bored and move on to the next big fear.
NissanLeafDriver: I see
| 14 | 102.857143 | |
1653206690 | 1653258188 | t3_uv6ept | t5_2to41 | 19,046 | [deleted]: TIFU by not cleaning my room an hour before my 7 hour Applebee's shift
I work part-time as a host at Applebee's, the job is way better than my old job pay-wise but it sucks ass on Friday and Saturday nights. I pretty much do absolutely nothing before I go to work those days because I need to save all my energy for Karen complaining about a 30 to 45-minute wait for her and her 8 children.
My room was an absolute shit show before I left for work, I had a week's worth of dirty laundry on the floor because my actual laundry basket had clean clothes I'd yet to fold. 3 nights' worth of take-out boxes that I'd yet to throw out, and my trash bin was overflowing.
I made the mistake of letting my granny sit in my bedroom for 15 minutes that afternoon before we had lunch, I'm 90% sure she had her mind made up right when I said I'd do it Sunday when I'm off (literally the next day).
So I go to work, finally get home around 2 am after dealing with probably the worst shift of my life, and when I walk in the door; "I'm sorry, I cleaned your room, I just couldn't stand it."
My room is clean, something that makes me feel even more disgusting because I didn't get the accomplishment of cleaning it myself and my granny clearly thought I wasn't capable of doing it myself, and I look on my nightstand to find MY VIBRATOR. Last I checked I'd thrown it under my grocery bag because I was too lazy to put it back in its spot.
MY GRANNY KNOWS I HAVE A VIBRATOR OKAY, let's put it away with all my other shit and go cry- wait why is this drawer closed I usually leave it open since it's in the closet. SHE CLEANED THE CLOSET TOO
TL;DR MY GRANNY FOUND AND KNOWS ABOUT ALL MY SEX TOYS BECAUSE I WANTED TO WAIT UNTIL I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK TO CLEAN MY ROOM. I FUCKED UP.
Edit: "Just clean your room then" oh yeah that definitely helps thank you so much.
[deleted]: Few things im taking away from this. 1) shes not doing it to invade your privacy, shes doing it out of love for you and for her home. She doesn't want you to come home from work to a shit show. We all have times when we're too busy and housekeeping slips a bit, shes obviously doing you a favour. If she wanted to snoop, surely she would just snoop and not tidy? 2) she doesn't give a fuck about your sex toys. If she did she would say something but she hasn't because she'll understand so dont worry. 3) for her to help you and your dad out and give you somewhere to live i think your granny is a diamond, sounds like she looks after you too. Grandparents are the best, even when they find your sex toys. Really don't think youve fucked up here but out of love and respect for your granny, try and maintain her efforts after she's tidied, she'll appreciate it.
We_Are_Not__Amused: Second this. Granny doesn’t care about your sex toys. Just wants to make you happy and take some of your stress away.
Chrysalisair: Granny has sex toys too, you know
OrePhan: She showed them respect, she knows how much they cost.
hollow1367: For real, Granny probably got a sex toy that blows OP's out the water
Whatifthisneverends: George Washington’s Wooden AquaDildo
TheGoldenTNT: I need details.
Ka_blam: Shaped like the real George Washington based on historical data!
Occasional-Mermaid: All carved from the same type of tree that legend says his teeth were made from!
| 10 | 1,904.6 | |
1653207341 | 1653209122 | t3_uv6joa | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by making an innuendo causing a guy to hit on me
[deleted]
MPMHL: Shoulda maced him.
[deleted]: Yeah you should of. Guy sounds like such a creep, like he wouldn't take no for an answer. Good job to grab the pepper spray! Stay safe man
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1653211940 | 1653501033 | t3_uv7i5j | t5_2to41 | 2 | Buzzlightyearsprego: TIFU by pushing away a great guy.
I (16 Female) have a coworker (18 male) who has been my absolute favorite coworker and has grown to be a really good friend of mine. Whenever our schedules line up we always do our tasks together or find a small bit of time to talk to each other. He also gives me a lifesaver at the beginning of each of my shifts (the green ones, he tried to give me a blue one once, but I didn’t take it). For some background of what happened last night we have to go back to Friday. We were working together and I asked him why he got out at 8pm and he said he had to work at 8am on Saturday, so I said “You’re gonna be late like always” sure enough, he was late, so instead of him working a 8-4 and me getting in at 4 he works a 1-9… don’t ask why he’s so late, he’s just not a morning person at all. So we ended up working together and like always we choose the two registers that faced each other, but since it was a slow night and I had the register people gravitate too he also was sweeping. At some point I had to scan a bunch of flowers, but I don’t like them going in the belt, so I went around to scan them and accidentally tipped one over. After that customer left a new one came and my coworker came over with the broom at the same time and said “Always making messes for me to clean up.” Or something like that and then the costumer said something along the lines of “She just did that to get you to come over here so she can flirt with you.” My coworker then smiled at me and said “Is that right (my name)” to which I immediately and quickly said “No.”… but I do flirt with him, what if he thinks he misread correct signals now. I should’ve gone a different route and said “That’s right” like a joke, but I know I wouldn’t be joking. Is this even salvageable or should I just be happy we’ll stay friends, even if I have a slight crush on him?
TL;DR: A customer said I was flirting with my coworker (which I was) while my coworker was there and I immediately said “No” and have no idea if I ruined everything.
AcrobaticSource3: He is 18 and you are 16, this is a dangerous age gap, it’s only 2 years but in the eyes of the law, he can get arrested if this flirting escalates, be careful
ConferenceOk1110: Nobody is going to arrest an 18 year old that is having a consensual relationship with a 16 year old.
AcrobaticSource3: You are wrong
ConferenceOk1110: No, I am not. Show me a single legal ruling about a criminal case where an 18 year old was convicted because of a relationship he had with a 16 year old where nothing weird was going on.
You won't find them.
| 5 | 0.4 | |
1653214927 | 1653215431 | t3_uv85m7 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU - My neighbors can hear my wife and me having sex.
[deleted]
T-toborn: Read the first sentence and knew the comments were gonna be about her age
InstallWizard: Well that was the first fuck up to be clear
T-toborn: Depends where in the world he is but marrying a 16 year old at 27 is a real eyebrow raiser
InstallWizard: I don't see how it is less shameful to marry a child than getting called out for loud sex imho
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1653214623 | 1653224189 | t3_uv8397 | t5_2to41 | 127 | whipssolo: TIFU by sneezing in my sleep.
[removed]
OkVolume1: AH, AH, AH....
AH-POO
Guntalarm: Thank you, come again!
OkVolume1: Very Qwik-E response.
| 4 | 31.75 | |
1653218791 | 1653250930 | t3_uv91e2 | t5_2to41 | 290 | Tejasvi_reddit: TIFU as my monthly allowance got cut
today, i was out with my friends, we were just hanging out and we got home. We started gaming and we suddenly decided to get food. We went out and since they were at my house, they didn't have money so i paid for their food. It costed me like 150 while my monthly allowance was 600
when i got home, i started telling them about my day as usual and then i told them what happened. they got mad saying how unresponsible i was with money. they said when friends go out, everyone pays for themselves, your friends just scammed you. i told them that they offered to pay for my food next time but they weren't buying it. They said they won't be giving me allowance until i become mature.
TLDR:- TIFU by paying for my friends food, which resulted in having my monthly allowance being cut
(this was my first time on this subreddit)
Edit: Guys, some of you are misinterpreting most of the stuff, like they were mad because my friends started hanging out with me 3 days ago and it was the 2nd time I was buying them food. Also I have really amazing parents, we live paycheck to paycheck but I never felt poor in my life. I was the foolish one here and I am pretty sure I will get allowance in like 2 months if I start managing well
Also, I am 14 and can't work(illegal in my country), so don't call me spoiled and the currency is not in $
jfrsn: Your allowance is $600 a month?
Wtf.
OkapiEli: There are different currencies in different places, bruh.
jfrsn: They make no indication of that, they should clarify.
Same goes for op, there are different currencies in defferent places, BRUH! Bro bro.
Which currency did you assume I was talking about?
OkapiEli: You are the one who inserted a $ sign which specified a currency. OP just gave numbers.
jfrsn: Numerous countries use the $
OkapiEli: Interesting, though, that values will vary.
jfrsn: Okay, maybe op should clarify that next time.
Not everyone lives in India buddy.
OkapiEli: Scroll up. Who brought up India?
AlaskanAssassin98: u/SalleighG did
SalleighG: Correct, I did. The OP has posted in several India-related communities, but not in other country-specific communities. Due to that and other evidence, they are very likely in India.
AlaskanAssassin98: I’m not doubting it, I was answering u/OkapiEli ‘s question
| 12 | 24.166667 | |
1653220768 | 1653248237 | t3_uv9iec | t5_2to41 | 3,858 | MadeForSunnyDaze: TIFU by wearing a shawl to a wedding
Obligatory "this happened a few days ago".
My husband and I are invited to a wedding, and in the spirit of a little modesty I brought a shawl with me to wear over my dress. The shawl was a white-cream with an abundance of floral patterning, so despite the long-argued "what counts as 'white'" I thought it was still kosher to wear.
Wedding went off beautifully, we're safely home, and I'm doing laundry. As I'm hanging the shawl to dry, I notice the floral pattern isn't as random as I thought. Not only is it not random, but the patterning is letters.
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, this shawl says BRIDE on it in BIG floral lettering. I don't know how I missed it.
I am absolutely mortified. I am now praying to anyone who will listen that it was wrinkled up/upside down and backwards enough that no one put the letters together.
TLDR: Gambled on wearing something white-ish to a wedding, ended up doing something much worse and wearing something that said "BRIDE" on it.
runningfurther: LOLLLLLLLLL
As a recent former bride, this is a funny story. Don’t feel weird, it’s a hilarious accident.
MadeForSunnyDaze: Honestly the bride has a wonderful sense of humor so I am hoping that when we eventually tell this story, everyone will have a good laugh at my expense.
IamNobody85: If I ever get married, I want someone else to wear a shawl with big "bride" written on it! Not that anyone could miss me, our bridal attires are........... elaborate.... to say the least. But the initial confusion would be quite hilarious!
ScarletCaptain: Always have a decoy to be safe.
ballrus_walsack: Snail won’t be fooled
| 6 | 643 | |
1653213341 | 1653223787 | t3_uv7swl | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to save a baby pigeon
[deleted]
andnom: Your boyfriend sounds a bit off….
sugar_tits01: how come?
andnom: Making you clean up the pigeon
| 4 | 1 | |
1653221269 | 1653249569 | t3_uv9njl | t5_2to41 | 8,434 | shy7f: TIFU by playing a gross prank at my high school
I (16m) and a friend thought it'd be a funny prank to pour a **gallon of pig manure** into the trash can in one of the classrooms at my school.
Sort of a "senior prank," except not as seniors. And he works at a pig farm so he had easy access.
He handed me a big jug of it, I snuck into class early and held my breath, poured it in the trash and ran off...and it had a bigger impact than I thought. Kids refused to enter the classroom at all and even the adjacent room was evacuated and they had to shut it down.
Sadly I got caught. And instead of an out-of-school suepension, the proposed punishment was 1-day ISS (In school suspension)....but in the same room that trash can had been moved into. A small rarely-used storage room disconnected from the rest of the school.
I begged my parents not to allow that and to let me take the suspension instead, but they wouldn't budge and said it was very fair. I (truthfully) said I didn't know how bad this prank was, I've never been around pigs, I thought they would have just gone "ew gross" and changed the trash and that would be that, but apparently not.
So on Friday, I was given my day's worth of schoolwork with instructions, and taken to the room for my ISS. There was the trashcan, pulled up right next to my desk. The stench was **overpowering** and had filled the room with the most sour, rancid manure smell I've ever experienced, it felt like I could taste it.
I held it together as best as I could, but I sure didn't get much work done. I thought I'd grow accustomed to it with time but I felt like that vile smell kept pounding away and eating at me throughout the day. I tried to take a bathroom break every hour to catch my breath and calm down but somehow I felt I could still smell it even in there. And even now, my backpack somehow still smells of pig manure and parents are making me keep it in the garage.
tl;dr got caught pranking class with pig manure, had to spend my ISS in a room with it. Way harder than I thought.
WaitWaitWait134: Your mom definitely posted on anther Reddit. Maybe AITA?
shy7f: Yup. I saw it and thought I'd share my side of the story hah.
DrMambo532: Haha, that's class, do you have a link to the AITA?
Hope you learned your lesson, at the very least this will be a funny story to recount when you're older!
shy7f: Somehow it got deleted because the mods called it a "sh*tpost," I guess a mod was confused that that term isn't literal
Binsky89: The mods on that sub are a joke. I got permabanned for "hate speech" for saying someone in a post (not OP) was just being bitchy instead of actually having narcissistic personality disorder.
cuittle: The mod was the asshole
Purple_Clue2626: I had an account banned from Reddit today because I posted a song lyric from childish gambino about wearing hats (metaphorical hats)
They claimed I was spreading hate based on race for sharing the lyric that resonated with my experience.
This site has gone to dogshit the past decade and I eagerly await the next iteration. How’s digg been lately?
ThirdIRoa: I called someone a bitch and got banned... for 3 days
somedude456: Pretty sure I'm banned from /r/politics for dropping the B word. That's sexism. LOL
ThirdIRoa: It's seismic to assume that only females could be bitches. It's like dick. A man or woman can be a dick. But according to reddit only females can be bitches and it's therefore sexist. Which in itself is sexism so reddit should ban themselves.
somedude456: I said that to the mod and was blocked for 28 days from communicating with them.
ThirdIRoa: Lmao glad to see it's not an isolated observation. Reddit is sexist in their attempts to eliminate sexism.
somedude456: It was post related to trumps speaker at press conferences, that woman, whoever. I guess mods already posted a warning against sexist language, but I didn't see that.
| 14 | 602.428571 | |
1653223329 | 1653227501 | t3_uva71v | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving eSports tournament because I was sick
[deleted]
kokihi_55: Nope. You were feeling extremely sick, your friend was being selfish. Your health comes before events ALWAYS. And he didn't miss anything because of you; you immediately told him he could leave you at the hotel and you'd be fine. He's the one that decided to stay.
1uncomfortabletruth: I don't see how going back to the room and staying until he thought his friend was okay is selfish or that he ended up leaving with his friend the next day. Sounds like he's disappointed he missed something they had planned but he was not selfish in the least... Feel bad for people in your life
kokihi_55: Getting mad/passive aggressive at OP for having to leave was the selfish part. When I need to leave an event with a friend because they feel sick, I don't make them feel so bad about it they need to post about it on Reddit asking if they were wrong to leave. So, go ahead and feel bad for the people in my life. I'm over here comforting them telling them they are more important than the event, and we'll just go again next year.
1uncomfortabletruth: But he didn't say his friends got passive aggressive just that he didn't agree that they should leave. Your reading into shit that wasn't stated. And he's asking about it because of a condition he has that makes him unable to read social ques. He's literally saying, hey did I fuck up because I didn't mean to hurt this friendship and my condition is making me fixate
kokihi_55: They literally said he was annoyed at having to go back to the hotel room, and that he didn't agree that OP, who was so sick they think they fainted, should go home because *he* didn't want to stay in the city alone. I'm not reading into shit, you're skimming.
Also, speaking of reading into things, where did OP say their friend left with them? OP called their mom to come pick them up. Didn't say anything about the friend leaving.
1uncomfortabletruth: Your right missed that part and inferred that he left because he said his friend missed a few matches. But that's all you right about
Being annoyed is not being passive aggressive, I had a buddy back out of a concert after I spent a lot of money on my ticket. I am still annoyed with that but I wasn't passive aggressive and I wasn't mean yet my friend knows it annoyed me and he feels bad for running the experience. He brought it up a few weeks after the show and apologized I had to go alone, he was thinking about it the whole time while I had already let it go.
Not sure why you think a friend of an Asperger's guy doesn't understand his friend has hard times in public and they can manifest in different ways. Think you are missing the part about him having Asperger's and not being neurotypical. It's cool you just need to be educated, ignorance is curable with a little knowledge ;)
1uncomfortabletruth: Let's keep the downvote train goings, can't disagree without down voting after all. That would mean we are having a conversation
| 8 | 0 | |
1653228509 | 1653249805 | t3_uvbpgl | t5_2to41 | 19,946 | lovelyjunie28: TIFU by high fiving my husband before his vasectomy
I have 3 kids. Both the older two have neurodivergencies. My youngest is 6 months old. I have fertility issues so it took me about 4-5 years between kids to get pregnant. As soon as we found out we were having our 3rd, my husband made an appointment for a vasectomy because we knew we were done. Her due date was in November but With Covid, it took almost 10 months to get an appointment. The surgery itself wasn’t available until May.
After her birth, the nurses left us with “bye! See you again next time!”
NOPE! No… just no. We laughed and said no way. We were making steps to prevent that. “That’s what they all say.”
We get home and my neighbor goes “aww she’s so sweet. Ready for the 4th?” ABSOLUTELY THE F NOT! He goes “the 4th is always the one that sneaks up on you.”
Not going to happen. With my fertility, I was lucky to have kids at all.
May comes along. We did it. His vasectomy was the next day. We were sitting in bed watching a movie and I said “thank god! We made it! No more babies!” And proceeded to high five each other.
The next morning, for giggles, I took a test because I had extra (TTC for over a year so I had a huge bag)
We were laughing and joking and forgot about it. Went in an hour later to 2 lines. Yeah.. a positive. That couldn’t be… maybe the tests were old? Maybe an evap line? We joked about it some more, but just in case I took another. Positive. Again. Ran to the store to buy a fresh one. Also positive. Guys…we wore condoms, we avoided possible ovulation windows, we did everything in our power besides abstinence to prevent a baby. I’m convinced I got pregnant through that high five. Literally the only explanation.
TL;DR
I prematurely high-fived my husband before his vasectomy to find out I’m pregnant again.
m0stlyharmfu11: What on earth does your kids' neurodivergence have to do with this story?
DumbPotatoBasket: Parents with children on the spectrum tend to think they're the real victim. It's supposed to reinforce how done with children they are.
oldpricklybastard: Actually in many ways both parent and child are the victim. If you have multiple already with issues. It's foolish to have more. It's genetics telling you to stop making babies. Yes kids are a blessing but when the bakers aren't making proper loaves of bread. The bakers need to realize baking isn't for them.
m0stlyharmfu11: Yeah because autistics can't possibly live a fulfilling life. Everyone knows that only neurotypicals can contribute to society and the lives of autistics are worthless. /s
I'm not a victim of my autism and neither are my parents.
oldpricklybastard: Depends on just how severely you are affected. My nephew is an awesome child. However I'm not gonna lie and say its not much harder to raise him vs his brother.
m0stlyharmfu11: So you're saying that because he is "harder to raise" that you wish he didn't exist and that there is something wrong with him just because he doesn't think the way you do? You think that he is an improper loaf of bread? An abhorrence?
oldpricklybastard: And yes that loaf either didn't rise before baking or was baked at wrong temp or for too long. Doesn't matter. The loaf isn't up to par is it?. Nobody is saying the loaf can't be as wonderful as the other loaf. Many times savants do amazing things others can't. It is at a cost though isn't it? That loaf may perform a symphony on a godamn harmonica but someone still has to change his diaper and button his shirt at age 20.. Now tell me it's not harder to raise a child affected in this way.
m0stlyharmfu11: It doesn't matter how "hard" it is. Its hard to raise neurotypical children too. You're saying that you don't think an entire group of people should exist because they are not like you. There's nothing wrong or broken about autistics. We are just people.
oldpricklybastard: I never said an entire group should not exist. I'm saying that op already has multiple kids that are affected so why keep having kids. Obviously making babies isn't working out for them.
m0stlyharmfu11: You are clearly implying that these people shouldn't have kids at all and therefore that actual autistic people shouldn't breed because being autistic is somehow undesirable.
oldpricklybastard: I'm clearly implying if they already have two with these issues have a third that's 6 months old and are now having a fourth. That having kids is not for them obviously they feel the same way. Hence the vasectomy and bringing up that 2 children are on said scale.
m0stlyharmfu11: You obviously don't understand how implication works. You have reiterated what you said explicitly. I am referring to what your statements imply.
oldpricklybastard: You are welcome to feel my statements imply anything you like. It does not mean that your decided implication is in fact why they were stated. My statements are based on op already having two on the scale and having more kids. Never did I say entire percentage of individuals shouldn't exist. That's a little farfetched. It's harder to raise a child who's been effected severely that I did say and I'll die on that hill.
m0stlyharmfu11: You said that people shouldn't have autistic kids. That is the same as saying that they shouldn't exist.
oldpricklybastard: No it's really not the same thing. Did I say exterminate? Nope sure didn't.
m0stlyharmfu11: You said that they shouldn't be born. Pretty sure that you have to be born to exist.
oldpricklybastard: I said if you already have two probably shouldn't be making more.
m0stlyharmfu11: How are you supposed to be born if you are not conceived then? If you're saying that ND people shouldn't be conceived then you're saying they shouldn't be born and you are supporting eugenics. Also you're not just saying that after 2 you should stop. You have compared NDs to defective loaves of bread and talked about how certain people shouldn't be breeding.
oldpricklybastard: You are finally understanding they shouldn't conceive at all. That's why op is literally taking steps to make sure they don't have any pregnancy. That's why the vasectomy. They don't want more. They didn't want more past two yet a third happened and a fourth. What are you missing here?. You jump to all kinds of conclusions on what I support. What's next gonna call me a Nazi?
m0stlyharmfu11: I'm not jumping to conclusions. You're making it very obvious what you support. Stop editing your posts after. Just think through what you want to say the first time.
oldpricklybastard: As long as all of it gets out for you to read what's the problem?.
| 22 | 906.636364 | |
1653229672 | 1653265174 | t3_uvc2h3 | t5_2to41 | 140 | Zyrawrcious: TIFU by tear gassing my kitchen
Writing this while waiting for my kitchen to air out a bit.
​
So today, I decided to do a full-on deep clean of my house while my lodger is away. I thought it would be a nice touch for him to come back to a nice shiny house. I planned it out, first the surfaces of all rooms, then the floors.
​
For the record, I’m a fan of extremely spicy condiments, the strongest being Oleoresin (very potent chilli extract).
​
I moved the bottles across the counter, whipped out my detergent and got to cleaning. As part of my counter was covered in sticky grease, I doubled down on the scrubbing to violently shake it loose. My first FU was not noticing the bottle of chilli extract sat on the edge of the same counter I was so vigorously scrubbing. After a quick catch of the elbow, I could only watch on horror as the bottle careened off the surface and smashed on the floor. Whilst annoyed, I wasn’t too concerned with the cleanup as it wouldn’t vaporize.
​
Or so I thought.
​
I decided the best solution was to mop up the main bulk with some kitchen towel and scour the rest off with my steam cleaner.
​
I fired up my trusty steamer and took aim at the sinister red stain creeping across my floor. The steam hit the mark and started forcing the taint from my floor.
​
The steam, now laced with Oleoresin started to rise. In an instant, a searing pain shot through my eyeballs and throat with the intensity of a thousand suns. With tears streaming down my face and a hacking cough crawling from my lungs, I retreated from the kitchen.
​
Even after half an hour, I cannot enter the kitchen without coughing my lungs up. The stuff is also ingrained into my hands from the wiping, leaving me with nasty stains and forcing me to be careful not to touch anything sensitive. Here’s hoping it dies down soon.
​
This is why I can’t have nice things.
​
TL;DR Dropped a bottle of chilli extract, vaporized it with a steam cleaner. Choked, cried and my kitchen is now off limits.
ResidentEivvil: Yooo that’s what they put in pepper spray. Hope you’re alright now ? Be careful when you take a shower later as I’ve heard you should bend over to stop it running into your sensitive areas.
Zyrawrcious: Thanks for the concern! I’m ok for the most part, my eyes are a bit puffy though.
I’ll heed your advice when I take that shower.
SacredSpirit123: #How did you not make the connection between Pepper Spray and Oleoresin of Capsicum‽
I’m dreadfully sorry that this happened to you, OP, but seriously.
There’s a reason that it’s called *Pepper* Spray.
It is, literally, pepper extracts shoved into an atomizer so it can be launched in a fine mist at your enemies’ eyes. It will *absolutely* vaporize if you get it hot.
Zyrawrcious: Only answer I can give is that I am not a smart man. I have the habit of drifting into a trance when I’m doing housework so I kinda went “hurr durr, steaming sounds like a good idea”.
Mysterious_Tadpole75: Get some milk and pour it on your hand and eyes, it will help a lot. Milk neutralizes capsaicin
ligmuhtaint: And if you have to a bowl to soak your junk
| 7 | 20 | |
1653231406 | 1653237046 | t3_uvcmrc | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by humiliating a cashier
[deleted]
masterofmsc: It’s ok, it was just a bad moment. Try to announce that you are a Walmart worker beforehand, if you attempt to joke like this again and you will avoid any misunderstanding
HurtsToSmith: Jeez, what was the story? He deleted it.
masterofmsc: He is a Walmart worker. Went to shop to another Walmart, not where he works but didn't have his uniform on. And practically told the cashier that only poverty and hunger can drive someone to work at Walmart. The cashier, who didn't know that the op was a colleague, was insulted and had tears in her eyes.
| 4 | 6 | |
1653231606 | 1653233309 | t3_uvcoz3 | t5_2to41 | 13 | sexplusthrowaway: TIFU by not checking in with my partner before humiliating him
[removed]
veganshailseitan: Ok I'm the sub in my BDSM relationship. It's the responsibility of the sub to use the safe word if any discomfort arises. If they felt like they couldn't use the safe word you need to have a real conversation with each other about trust because that's what it's really about.
Kayback2: Yeah this. Why didn't he feel Ok using the safe word?
I understand wanting to check to make sure everything is ok, but that can also get in the way of the flow of things. I'll mostly only check on my partner if I've put them in a new position or something. The safety words are there for the person to use if they need to.
Why didn't he?
This isn't to blame him, or you, but it is an area of concern. Did he not want to spoilt the fun? It isn't fun if both parties aren't having fun. Did he just want you to tone it down a bit? Was he scared to interrupt you? I'veet some things go aite far because I thought the other person was having fun too but you've got to know your own limits.
Have a proper conversation about it. Not about that specific incident if be doesn't want to but about how you both got to do your part and bring your trust to the game. He must be able to trust you to stop if he needs it, and you've got to be able to trust him to stop you if you go too far. Without that two way road it stops being fun and games for everyone.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1653231510 | 1653232193 | t3_uvcnv0 | t5_2to41 | 14 | Bell-In-A-Box: TIFU by picking my nose on Lockdown Browser
So I have a lot of anxiety and some bad anxious habits I'm working on. One of these is picking at my nose when I'm stressed. So today I was taking a test for my bio class, on, you guessed it, lockdown browser. With webcam. I was razor focused, doing problems, was probably rocking it, but still stressed. Then at one moment during the test I realized I was doing it and immediately stopped and froze, realizing I was on camera, extremely embarrassed. I have no idea how long I was doing it for. I'm pretty sure I bombed the rest of the test because I was panicking and my teacher is going to think im disgusting and tell everyone in the science department and my career is ruined. I know this is not logical but anxiety sucks man. Someone please tell me that teachers dont actually check that video feed after the test or something because my god I'm mortified.
Tl;DR: anxious habit of picking at my nose, was going at it during a test, realized I was on webcam, life ruined.
FiddleRock: I have a very similar issue, friend. It really is a pain in the ass. What I've found useful is to have something to "replace " my nose. For example, a soft ball to squeeze, or something to fidget... hope it helps.
Don't mind to much about this, we overthink this things too much
Bell-In-A-Box: Thank you so much, it helps to feel like I'm not alone, yeah I've been looking into things to fidget with during tests to help, today I didnt even realize I was doing it at first :( hopefully the prof just goes right past it and doesnt notice or if he does hopefully he's kind enough to be understanding and keep it to himself
FiddleRock: Yeah, probably he does not care about that. We torture ourselves way too much
Bell-In-A-Box: I'm sure you're right, however I'm sure anxiety brain will continue to remind me about it on a regular basis for the next 10-12 business days lol. Thanks for the kind words <3
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1653232450 | 1653277119 | t3_uvcz7b | t5_2to41 | 69 | In_all_of_my_holes: TIFU by being only 99% sure the bedroom door was locked
Obligatory; not today, it was two days ago but it took until today to repress my shame enough to think about it.
I live with my family and have my own room, which I was in as they called me for lunch. Catch is that I was a little 'busy' at the time and so I just shouted out that I'd be there in a minute and returned to the task at hands.
A moment later I heard the door knob jiggle. Whatever though, it's locked and whoever it was didn't say anything so I ignore it and continue being 'busy'. Another moment later I hear it jiggle again, with a slight click. I immediately panicked and roll under the covers thinking someone had opened the door somehow. But a minute passes and nothing happened, so whatever, just my imagination I guess.
Fast forward a couple of minutes as I go to leave my room and realize the door is distinctly UN-locked. I stood there for at least a full minute putting the pieces together in my head before finally realizing that click I'd heard wasn't the door opening, it was the door closing. Meaning someone had entered the first time the handle jiggled, probably saw me, then left closing the door as quietly as possible.
But the worst part. I dont even know who it was. It could have been either of my parents or either of my brothers. I'm guessing it was one of my brothers since they would likely have been sent to remind me about lunch, but since I don't know for sure Im now an anxious wreck around literally everyone in the house.
And just to pre-empt it, IK self love is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. But self love in front of family members is kinda hard to not be ashamed of.
Moral of the story, double check that your doors are locked, always.
TL;DR: thought the door was locked. A family member likely saw me pleasuring myself. Now since I don't even know who it was I am ashamed to show my face to any of them.
nBlazeAway: Lock the door before you act like a..
Make sure you lock it before you mess with your pocket.
Twist the lock before you pleasure your sock.
Anyone got a better one?
CapybaraSteve: the comment below yours says “twist the lock before stroking your cock” lol
nBlazeAway: But for a woman.... what would it be.
CapybaraSteve: 🤷
nBlazeAway: ☹️
| 6 | 11.5 | |
1653234708 | 1653238507 | t3_uvdp5y | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my intimate regions and having a horrible reaction (18F)
[deleted]
Detective-Astatine: Welcome to womanhood. It’s a right of passage that all us woman go through. That and trrrible cut and dye jobs sporadically. You’ll be fine. It’ll heal. Keep it clean and dry. Use powder to keep dry. You could try tea tree oil but it will smart just a tiny bit.
corgi1107: you’re telling me every damn woman goes thru this? every single shave? i’m scared to get a wax because it might do the same thing when it grows back
RememberTomOnMyspace: If you have sensitive skin, which it seems, shave with the direction of the hair instead of against it. It won’t be as close of a shave, but it’s better than your skin being on fire.
corgi1107: it’s crazy cause i did, i shaved down and went with the grain of the hair
Detective-Astatine: You’re blonde aren’t you? And I mean that because of your physical reaction. I’m blonde aswell.
corgi1107: I am. I used hot water to open to pores, used shaving cream, new razor, washed with special soap, wear cotton underwear, idk what else to do
Detective-Astatine: Honestly? From one woman to another who has a lot of years on you? Just stop shaving your pits and bush. Wax that shit and get a good [body groomer](https://www.usa.philips.com/c-p/BG7030_49.amp/norelco-bodygroom-7000-showerproof-body-groomer) I highly recommend the one I linked. And start using a dry brush daily.
corgi1107: thank you so much
| 9 | 2.555556 | |
1653237300 | 1653237438 | t3_uvel14 | t5_2to41 | 38 | Zeezie_: TIFU by not realising somebody had no arms
Okay so I'm messaging this girl on a Dating App and we were just chatting shit about Uni, work and just typical small talk stuff. However she uses Text-to-Speech instead of regular typing, I dismiss this for now as I didn't really have any segue into bringing it up.
Anyway, about 20 minutes into talking I started to question why she used Text-to-Speech at all since she has quite a severe Stutter. I found this rather strange because it seems to be a pretty dysfunctional way of communicating through text so I just asked her "So, how come you use Text-to-Speech instead of typing?"
To which she replies, "Eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye can't can't type"
So I figure that maybe she has a severe form of Dyslexia or something along those lines but I persist nonetheless. My follow up question, "Oh, how come?"
"Eye eye eye eye eye don't ha have hands lol"
At this point I was absolutely mortified with myself for not noticing what is quite clearly evident in all three of the pictures on her profile that I had looked at beforehand(pun not intended)
I promptly replied, "Oh my god I'm sorry I didn't even realise"
And because one apology didn't seem like enough for such a blunder of epic proportions I followed up with another "I am so sorry"
TL;DR asked a girl why she used text-to-speech, told me she has no hands
loopedaway: Not really FU if you didn’t know and you were considerate
Zeezie_: Her profile picture was a picture of her, full body, no arms and prosthetic legs
It definitely felt like a fuck up😂
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1653236711 | 1653240531 | t3_uvedrs | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally selecting the WRONG, & SUPER EMBARRASSING (NSFW) pic for my profile in an interactive mobile game I play with my online friends 😳😳😳
[deleted]
Pepman256: Can you keep a straight face when you type something up that looks like whatever the fuck this is?
Own-Policy9243: 🅾️h, 💲🅾️®️®️¥❗️❕❗️❕D🅾️ ✝️♓️E
E♏️🅾️J♊️💲 🅱️🅾️✝️♓️€®️ ¥🅾️⛎❓❓
Ⓜ️¥ 🅱️🅰️D❗️
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1653237433 | 1653246171 | t3_uvemp7 | t5_2to41 | 151 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with the person obsessed with me
[removed]
amiableshrimp: I'm more than slightly concerned that your're 36 and your reasoning she can't be pregnant is you finished in her mouth and not that a pregnancy would not show up after 4 days anyway, it takes about 2-3 days just for implantation. Also if you raw dogged her then even if you don't cum in her you are leaking sperm whilst fucking anyway. So whilst it's a much smaller amount you can still get a girl pregnant even if you don't cum. I strongly suggest you learn about sex before you ever think about sticking Ur dick in something again, crazy or otherwise
Guntalarm: Totally agree.
Implantation - never have I heard getting a lady preggers called that.
amiableshrimp: Implantation is what it's called when the eggs implants it'self into the walls of the uterus. It's the literal dictionary definition of "getting a lady preggers"
Guntalarm: TIL ty!
(I'll stick with preggers though)
amiableshrimp: Haha no probs and yeah in day to day life I also use preggers
| 6 | 25.166667 | |
1653237580 | 1653301337 | t3_uveofh | t5_2to41 | 167 | alyas1998: TIFU By Expressing My Emotions To My Coworker
Ever since I became a pharmacy tech two and a half years ago, I always had a crush on my coworker. However, I kept such emotions to the side as they were distracting to some degree as it was unprofessional. However, me and my coworker always had the best conversations, funny comments, goofy moments during our free time. In general, she was the top reason that I came to work outside of needing money as she made my day brighter and more exciting working at a retail store.
Last week I got accepted into a Clinical research Coordinator position at a large hospital which I am very excited for. As such, I put in my two weeks which gave me a timer to think it was a good idea on paper to express my emotions to her because what’s the worst thing that could happen?
I had everyone’s phone number including hers. So I sent her a text. “Hey (name) I think you’re really a really amazing and interesting person, would it be okay to go out for coffee to get to know you better?” In my head I figured I was a genius but it backfired quickly. She replied saying that’s very sweet of you however you’re my coworker and that would be really awkward between us. I ended the conversation by saying that is understandable, I respect that and thank you for informing me.
For the past three days I have been ignored and not even looked towards my direction. I even asked her when I was next to her how her day has been and I received no reply. In the end, I ruined two years of amazing friendship that we had because I thought I was gonna lose my chance of asking her out.
Tl;DR: asked out my coworker and now I am ghosted irl
OmenTheGod: Wow she is very nasty sorry for saying it but you have to hear it. You did nothing wrong and she probably thinks she sended Signals by accident and is now so distant to correct that. I d say go All Out again try to explain it with an offer to friendship for your last time together. Again you already lost so nothing more to lose right?
Drew-: Uh, she was in no way nasty.
OmenTheGod: I mean Just ghosting him after all this time not answering a simple question Like how she is or her day was, is nasty If you ask me but i dont know her so i'll only call that one Last behaviour of her nasty not her as human entirly.
Drew-: Naw, getting asked out by a coworker you aren't into and have only ever interacted with at work is a super awkward situation. She may be being slightly awkward, but thats understandable since it's a very awkward situation.
OmenTheGod: I think so too but straight Up ignoring someone is Just a childish thing to do.
Ghost_Fucker_69K: Nobody's got any semblance of honour these days
| 7 | 23.857143 | |
1653237866 | 1653244226 | t3_uverw7 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU pregnancy sexworker scared
[removed]
NoJudgementTho: If it doesn't look like the same person, it probably isn't the same person. Even if it is, do you realize how many different people sex workers have sex with in one day let alone in 3 and a half months? Many of them are in relationships as well. It's much more likely they got pregnant from another customer or from their significant other than from you.
Shodancrp: Not to mention 3.5 months would make a very small baby bump. Most women take 4 months to get a noticeable baby belly
NoJudgementTho: Dude probably just saw a similar looking woman with a beer gut and panicked.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1653237333 | 1653247608 | t3_uvelfw | t5_2to41 | 39 | MrMrRubic: TIFU ny not reading my washing machine's manual for 2 years
Edit: title should be "TIFU ~~ny~~ by not..."
2 years ago I bought a flat. With that flat there followed a washing machine. Me being the young person that I am, just started using emit without a thought. Today, I had a realization. What were the symbols in the detergent basket for? I knew the flower was for softener, and i never used that. But what's the difference between basket I and basket II? I always though basket I was the primary one, and II was for additional shit. Because of this, I have for 2 years put detergent in basket I.
So I just looked up the manual online. Though it wasn't the exact model, the manufacturer keeps it consistent. Basket I is for PREWASH only, and basket II is for actual wash. This means, for 2 years, my clothes haven't actually been properly clean.
TL;DR
I didn't read my washing machine's manual, and have been only prewashing my clothes for 2 years.
_MeTTeO_: Watch how your washer behaves when you start the washing cycle. Usually what happens is it adds water through prewash compartment. Then if there was no prewash in the cycle it adds water through main wash.
I've seen many washing machines and they all do that. There is only a difference when you start a washing cycle WITH prewash enabled (the prewash uses prewash detergent and main wash uses main wash detergent instead of using both of them at once)
This doesn't apply when using liquid detergent with a washer that only supports granulate. Putting liquid in either of compartments will cause the liquid to reach the washing barrel at the same time.
CoolGuy175: This is what happens with the fastwash mode, well it adds water on both compartments as the prewash doesn’t happen. With a normal cycle it only adds water on the pre-wash compartment for pre wash and for the actual wash cycle on both (i suppose in case there is any residue in the pre-wash compartment).
So yes, OP hasn’t properly washed his clothes in two years.
| 3 | 13 | |
1653241335 | 1653244371 | t3_uvfz9s | t5_2to41 | 24 | sarfreyo: TIFU By Quitting My Summer Job.
I don’t even know if I’m over reacting but, here we go.
So I had a summer student job lined up at our Town Hall. My interview went well, then I got the offer and was so excited. A few weeks before I started I got a nasty 36 hour flu, and it was a nightmare and my stomach never fully recovered. Then on my first day which was just orientation, I went home feeling good that I’m back in the workforce making money to go towards bills and school. That night I tested positive for Covid. So I missed my entire first week of work.
I went back a week later only to be bombarded with projects that I don’t recall discussing in my interview and in the job description. So I was overwhelmed. That Wednesday I got a sore throat. Bam. Sick again and missed the rest of that week. I was so sick but it wasn’t Covid. It was just another nasty cold going around. I lost my voice (which still hasn’t returned) and my ears are plugged so I can’t hear.
I got so upset I knew I was wasting their time not getting stuff done from missing time and I was also angry and overwhelmed by the stuff they had me doing that was kind of above my knowledge.
So I sent an email and quit. Now I did have an interview elsewhere lined up because I’m an adult and must be responsible for bills and whatnot. (Interview is in 2 days).
I got a letter in the mail from the Mayor herself, thanking me for joining the town hall and how important my role was. I balled. I felt like I royally fucked up and should have pushed through and tried harder. I haven’t told a soul about the letter. I tossed it in my garbage can. And that I was such an all time low moment in all my 26 years of living.
TL;DR I left my job before giving it a fair chance, because I’ve been sick for a month and I got a letter from the Mayor thanking me for joining the team which was sent out before I left.
NoPajamasOutside: I do hiring, I would understand and appreciate this level of honesty from someone.
Thing of it this way: Hiring new people is a pain in the ass, you've already been vetted and they like you.
If you wrote a letter saying you left because you felt you were wasting their time, that it was rare and unfortunate that you kept getting sick, and regret leaving - you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.
sarfreyo: I did explain it. Not just an “I quit” I sent an email to my supervisors and explained how I felt just from being so sick and knowing I was making them behind
NoPajamasOutside: I don't know the whole situation, but if they didn't indicate you were dragging them down they still might have a position for you.
If someone told me they were quitting because they were always sick, I wouldn't argue it because I'd take their word they didn't feel fit to work.
Just saying if I was the supervisor and knew of other positions I might recommend someone elsewhere.
| 4 | 6 | |
1653242112 | 1653276084 | t3_uvg8u0 | t5_2to41 | 84 | Oops_ibrokeit: TIFU by wearing nose rings that were too small.
Let me start by saying I've worn every type of nose ring in the 15 years that I've had both nostrils pierced. Recently I switched out my expensive jewelry for some simpler cute styles from Amazon that match my wedding ring better. They are a slightly smaller gauge than before, but I figured my piercings would shrink to adjust. They are studs with a hook that anchors them on the inside of the nostril. Sometimes in my sleep they will come out and I'll find them on my pillow and just pop it back in. As I was waking up this morning I had a brief memory of one of them coming out in my sleep. I felt my nostril and noticed it was gone. As I searched for it in the covers I noticed a sort of sore sensation in my throat and started to think "did I. No there's no way" and continued searching. Eventually I started to indulge this thought a little more and started feeling the back on my throat with my finger and noticed it just felt kind of inflamed on one side, but it didn't feel the way I imagine it would if I had a hook stuck in it. Then as I sat there pondering this sensation I had this volcanic burp not unlike the sound a dog makes when they throw up. I don't how else to explain it except that I felt the exact shape of the nose ring as it came through my throat and into my mouth. Then I pulled it out of my mouth and just sat there for a minute while I decided whether I should tell anyone about it.
TL;DR
I guess somehow while I was sleeping I created enough suction in my nostril to not only suck my nose stud through the piercing, but also woof it up into my sinus cavity. Coughed it up. All good just traumatized.
Longjumping_Bed2907: Ooh yeah I wouldn’t sleep with those kind in. You got lucky
Oops_ibrokeit: I didn’t know everyone else was taking them out before bed! The stud seemed far too large to fit through the piercing. I’ll never wear this style nosering again, awake or not.
Longjumping_Bed2907: Yeah even better
| 4 | 21 | |
1653243591 | 1653244241 | t3_uvgrs5 | t5_2to41 | 27 | ShowGroundbreaking11: TIFU- I got super drunk
So to be clear, me and other people were drinking. nothing to bad. We were having a good time until it started to get excessive (terrible on my part). I drank a-little more than what I could handle. if I’m being honest I don’t really remember much except that I called my ex and so much more. after they left (had dnd). I get left with my brother. Clearly he didn’t know what to do because He tried to pick me up and he dropped me. I slammed my head on the floor. 1st problem of the night. After than I went upstairs I don’t remember much except at some parts. I was in the bathroom during some parts of the night and the other parts in my room. Let’s just say I remember throwing up. After that my brother kept calling people and recording me. Even though you could clearly tell that I was in a bad state of mind. I would say that I’m not very pleased with what he did after I threw up because he kept following me around. After I woke up this morning from the night. My room is trashed. Bathroom trashed. I have this feeling that you get after partying to hard and every where you go you feel like you’re gonna vomit. I check my phone I have no videos, but I’ve had a friend tell me about it and I was deeply sorry. I also had another friend that sent me some videos. So back to when he dropped me apparently he was recording it. And sent it to someone. I’ll admit it was pretty funny, but that’s not the problem. The problem is he also had a video of me telling him to stop taking videos of me and kept coming into my room. He showed me the videos this morning and I wasn’t very happy about it. He even posted some to snap. I feel incredibly embarrassed that he did this thru out the night. Not to mention he texted/called everyone in my contacts to tell them about the state I was in(called the girl I like too). Then took my phone and gave it to me this morning. I’ll say that is the most embarrassing moment of my life. Im incredibly sorry to all of my friends that witnessed that. I don’t feel mentally okay at the moment either so it just made everything 10x worse. Anyways I’m sorry I just needed to say something about this it’s bothering me a lot and I just can’t seem to stop thinking about it. I feel like it would’ve been a funny story without the videos. But recording me and sending them to people was not the way to help a drunk person.
TL;DR: I got drunk and my brother recorded me and then posting them on snap, he called the girl I like and several other friends showing them the condition I was in.
cbri: Your brother is apparently super immature. I would beat his ass if it was me.
ShowGroundbreaking11: Honestly I should,but I just wanna let it go and forget about it.
cbri: It’s a common event at parties not sure why everyone is making a big deal out of it.
I used to start fights with people who were judging others. That was always fun lol .. not
Edit: I probably would have gone after your brother lol
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1653244876 | 1653246670 | t3_uvh80a | t5_2to41 | 4 | throwaway_co11: TIFU losing my best friend because of regrettable actions under the influence
[removed]
itsMemesOrNothing: Do you have S's number? Have you talked to her after the incident? You should probably start the apologies with her and her boyfriend.
throwaway_co11: I don’t and have asked for any method of contact to apologise but haven’t been successful yet, I appreciate the comment and will take action as soon as physically possible
itsMemesOrNothing: See, you're already on the right path and A doesn't seem to have the same radical ideas like H does
throwaway_co11: She doesn’t but they all live together and I feel today won’t be the last I hear of the situation. H is also a top lawyer if that contributes to anything
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1653245522 | 1653247172 | t3_uvhfxb | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my husband a guy from the gas station..
So this did happen this morning...
TLDR: told husband about a guy making me uncomfortable, ended up triggering traumatic memories for him. Found out he's been to counseling for it.
Edit: the fuck up is I overreacted due to my social anxiety. He's been in much worse situations and I just reminded him of them.
I went to the gas station and an older man stopped me because he noticed I had Washington plates, I got spooked because well... I don't feel comfortable being approached by men in public places. Sure he was just trying to make conversation at the pump but it still made me uncomfortable.
While telling my husband I also mentioned that men just shouldn't talk to us while we are busy doing stuff like that.
He got upset and went in the other room.
I gave him time to cool off, right when I went to go see if he was okay he came out and told me about how three females had recently assaulted him when he went to the store for me. It's hot out, he wore a muscle shirt, he's manly and fit but extremely gentle and kind. He also refuses to harm women.
They grouped on him and made lots of rude comments.
Luckily it was all on camera at the store, so if he decides to do anything we have proof.
Now, the terrible thing: it wasn't the first time.
My husband is a cutie, often when we go out I find others looking at not just me but also him. I've seen people get too comfortable with him. He opened up about it wasn't the worst one.
He doesn't want me to tell anyone specifics about a very bad assault but basically he was very badly sexually assaulted by an intoxicated woman. I should also add he was assaulted in the military as well.
Sea-Experience470: Sounds like you are pretty sheltered and entitled. Old guy was just trying to make some small talk.
[deleted]: I have social anxiety. Doesn't matter if it's an old man, would woman, anyone talks to me in public I get spooked.
NSFW_ASMRtist: I kind of get his point. You're prescribing men to never talk to women while they're doing something? So what? Unless we see women twiddling their thumbs, we're supposed to feel shame for approaching them? That's hella baggage. What gives you the right to make men feel that way?
[deleted]: No, that was my overreaction. That we shouldn't be approached.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1653246334 | 1653253038 | t3_uvhqd5 | t5_2to41 | 218 | Cactus_souls: tifu by leaving my dildo on my bed.
This happened a while ago. I've been sitting on it unsure if I should post it here. But why not? Hopefully someone will get a laugh out of this.
So my mom has a small dog that is very nosy. She's very sweet but she's up in everyone's business all the damn time. At this point she was about 6 months old.
One late night I was doing what one does with a dildo and I got up to go clean up in the bathroom. I was gonna bring ol' reliable with me to clean it, But for some reason I left without it. I put on the bare minimum of clothing, a sports bra and shorts and quickly sauntered to the bathroom and closed the door. Not only did I leave my dildo on my bed, I left my bedroom door wide open. In the bathroom I was cleaning myself up with baby wipes, just being all dandy and then the horrific realization hit me when I heard the jingle of dog tags and the tippy taps of dog nails on tile, the puppy was heading towards my room. I was butt ass naked from the waist down, wipe in hand, and I frantically threw the wipe in the trash and put on my shorts and that's when I heard my mom calling for her pup down the hall. I stopped by the door and realized this was the point of no return. I heard her getting closer and closer and a gasp and "oh dear." Then it sounded like she quickly shuffled away. A couple moments of straight embarrassment later, I opened the door and lo and behold...
Right there in the middle of the fucking hallway was a bright pink dildo sitting there, staring at me. I was mortified. The damn puppy thought it was just for her and left it for everyone to see. My mom never said anything to me about it, but I know that she knows.
Tldr: Left my dildo on my bed because I'm stupid and the puppy thought it was for her and left it for everyone to see.
ez_dayz: Hahaha nice. Had an ex who had a similar situation she forgot a dildo when she went to her parents (used to travel back on weekends for university) forgot it and then came back to it missing.
The next week she came home she found on her bed a new dildo in wrapped in discreet packaging and not a single word was ever said about it
johnevepierrot: I really wish we had the other side of this story. Like, I feel there are so many unanswered questions here. To start with, who found it? Why couldn’t the original simply be returned? Did they keep it or was it destroyed?
ez_dayz: Honestly she was so embarrassed it was found she never asked and there was no acknowledgement that her parents got her a new one so she said nothing.
Honestly I started to make jokes that a stalker took the first one and grave the replacement
johnevepierrot: “Grave her,” huh? That’s a bit foreboding.
ez_dayz: Oh damn that’s what I get for not checking my spelling. But honestly maybe I should check on her and make sure she is safe
| 6 | 36.333333 | |
1653252851 | 1653262269 | t3_uvjzcb | t5_2to41 | 26 | Jellyfish_Kitty: TIFU by screaming in the shower
TIFU by screaming in the shower. I’m F18 my birthday is in a few days. Recently my boyfriend moved in with me M19. We are both very happy together. It was earlier in the morning about around 11.
So some context before I tell the story - he has arachnophobia. He’s fine with mostly every bug besides spiders and ants. We both wear glasses but my eyes are much worse than his are. He is far sighted and I just can’t see anything without my glasses. It’s also very cold here so we keep seeing more spiders in the house.
So into the shower. He washed up and he sat down in the bathtub and I started washing my hair. And I saw this dark brown thing on his shoulder but I didn’t think of it being anything at first. Until later I looked a little closer and it moved. So I screamed because I didn’t know what it was.
He looked at his shoulder and also screamed because he didn’t know what it was. He did a 180 turn in the bathtub shot up and said “nope I’m out what was that” he jumped out of the bathtub and he saw it land on the counter as he got out and I was panicking because I’m not a big fan of bugs lmao. He put his glasses on and was like “oh my god. Why did you scream?! It’s just a moth!” He put a cup over it so I could get out of the shower without being scared of if flying around but it’s wings were wet so it couldn’t fly very well. I calmed down and then laughed at him when he struggled to get out of the bathtub when he panicked. He ended up putting the moth in the garage. We don’t know how but he also ended up cutting his big toe pretty good on something. But in the end we both laughed at what happened but he was slightly mad at me for laughing at him and scaring him.
TL;DR - I ended up screaming at a moth on my boyfriends shoulder in the shower that I couldn’t see so he thought it was a spider and panicked and hurt his toe in the end.
Also didn’t know if this counted as NSFW so I tagged it anyway.
Fit_Ad_7681: Maybe its just because I have an old person sleep schedule despite only being 25, but who considers 11 to be earlier in the morning?
Jellyfish_Kitty: Lmao we do. We’re bad and we are up most of the night until 2-3am watching scary movies
Fit_Ad_7681: Fair enough. I'm not trying to judge, it's just odd to me. Then again, I usually wake up at 6, some of the time 6:30 on the weekends if I want to sleep in.
Jellyfish_Kitty: Most of the time I go to sleep early on the weekdays because I’m in school and have a part time job. But most of the time I suffer being tired most of the day.
Fit_Ad_7681: It's understandable, I was the same way in school. Now that I'm in a full time job and start at 8, I can't do that anymore.
| 6 | 4.333333 | |
1653253168 | 1653253843 | t3_uvk38m | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally saying the N word in front of my black friend and went viral on the internet.
[removed]
MSGRiley: Humans like looking down their noses at other humans and pretending to be better than them. There's a whole section in the Bible about not doing that. It's conveniently ignored by a lot of people who supposedly believe in it.
Just because you say a word doesn't mean you're racist or not racist. Enjoy your 15 min of fame.
Onaps191: Not in today's society. You make one mistake and you get banshied for life.
MSGRiley: Did you just assign me a pronoun? I don't go by "you". CANCELLED!!
&#x200B;
You mean like that?
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1653252400 | 1653256337 | t3_uvjtnb | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to pick up food around closing time and didn’t pay attention to the fact that Steve-O was in the restaurant with me.
[deleted]
I_Like_RealityTV: I don't understand. Would you have done something different had you realized? I don't understand the fu here.
Itssmelon: I’m a fan so I would have definitely said hi!
Card1974: Think about it this way: you got a brief glimpse into his daily life and you didn't bother him.
The quiet moments become more precious when everyone recognizes you and wants your autograph or a selfie with you.
Itssmelon: I agree! I would not have asked for an autograph or selfie. I would not want to bother them. It would have been nice to be more aware, say hello and then go on my way.
| 5 | 5 | |
1653254536 | 1653264900 | t3_uvkkc1 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Own_Application3831: TIFU by lying on my cv
Okay so this all happened when I had my first interview on Wednesday for a guy who works closely with the company that my sister works for.
I also only got the interview because I lied about having experience in accounting and bookkeeping
So anyway Wednesday I show up to this interview with all the confidence and as soon as I saw him I just started messing everything up, the first mistake was when greeting each other I went in for a handshake and he went in for a first bump ,after that I sit down and he asks my about an accounting system that I said I have experience using and I started to stutter my answer tell him things that dont make sense and then I basically ended up telling him that I don't remember what I did in the accounting section so he dropped it and moved on.
He then continued to ask me thing that were on my CV and I kept on speaking with literal bull$&#t coming out of my mouth and then he "oh I see here that your did invoicing but you just said that you didn't " I then replied "that's a typing error it's not supposed to be there " ....like I'm sure he must have thought WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL! how can she a typing error If she typed this cv?
I honestly know it was all my fault because I didn't read my Cv and I lied but the amount of anxiety I feel from the embarrassment is unreal. SERIOUSLY I'm so embarrassed im having nightmares.
Does anyone have advice on how to move on from this or does anyone have a worse interview story?
TL;DR
EDIT : I actually came home that day took out everything I lied about and i can honestly say that I will NEVER ever lie on my CV.
LongDistRider: Never ever ever lie or exaggerate on your resume. A good interviewer will sniff it out quick. And it is the fastest way to a no hire.
Move on.... fix your resume first.
razenwing: really? that's the exact opposite of what I heard. because most companies use algorithm now a days, you want to type as much keywords as possible to even get a shot at an interview. those, of course, involves stretching the truth most of the times.
whether you can back that up is up to your relevancy. obviously applying to be an accountant when you last worked as a cashier is a bit of a stretch, but no foot in door, no chance, right?
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1653254723 | 1653261269 | t3_uvkmo0 | t5_2to41 | 56 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally kidnapping a dog who was on a walk with his owner.
[removed]
bumblebeetuna: The fuck is the last 4 sentences about
Adventurous_Soft_985: I was waiting for someone to mention that. How has nobody mentioned that?
SirLordBoss: The update continues. He made the whole thing up apparently. TL;DR readers bamboozled
Low_Store3737: And is DM’ing me hate speech for calling him out.
Adventurous_Soft_985: I saw that! WTF is wrong with people?!
| 6 | 9.333333 | |
1653255528 | 1653344988 | t3_uvkwj4 | t5_2to41 | 564 | maren_voyage: TIFU by cheating on my husband of 8 years with strangers on the internet.
I’m the asshole.
I got absolutely shitfaced at my friend’s birthday party last night which resulted in my husband having to come pick me up and take me home.
My friends hung out with me while I laid on the sidewalk puking on some mulch next to the street, giving drivers and bar-hoppers a good show.
My husband used my phone to check the parking app to ensure my meter was extended until we could come back and pick up my car. While on my phone, he looked through some apps of me conversing with random people I met on the internet.
I had been cheating on him in every sense of the word over the last few months.
I woke up to him saying he knows I’ve been cheating on him, he’s leaving and taking our kids with him to live with his parents (we moved to the east coast from the Midwest about 6 months ago), and that he is filing for divorce to include full custody of our 3 kids.
TL;DR TIFU by cheating on my husband with random strangers on the internet, and effectively blew up my life and everything he and I had built.
ETA:
I’ve not provided context in this post because I know I fucked up and have been fucking up - providing any background would feel like I’m justifying my actions and I’m not. There’s never a good reason to cheat or hurt people.
I’m in and have been in individual counseling.
He and I have been in marriage counseling throughout our marriage.
Lastly, I’ve read every comment and message but have responded selectively for obvious reasons. I chose to post this on my actual Reddit account because creating a new one or using one of my other less involved profiles would be another form of shielding myself from the brunt of the heat I deserve.
hexrei: Wow, there'e usually a punchline here, you really shit the bed. Get ready to pay lawyers or make a TON of broken apolgies.
Fraxcat: I hope to fuck she can't afford good lawyers....certainly doesn't deserve it.
Overquoted: She cheated on her husband and therefore doesn't deserve to have partial custody of her children? Man, that's pretty fucking harsh, dude.
Like, I'm full-stop anti-cheating. If I had kids with someone and they cheated, I'd opt out of the relationship, but I wouldn't try to fuck them over with custody unless I genuinely thought they were a bad parent. We can be more than one thing at once: a bad spouse and a great parent.
woodjwl: You don't get to have your cake and eat it too.
Overquoted: Kids aren't cake.
woodjwl: I'm referring to the person cheating here. To do that to someone she deserves to lose her kids as a consequence of her actions.
Overquoted: No, she doesn't. She deserves to lose her spouse. That is all. And more importantly, kids don't deserve to lose their mom unless it's a harmful situation. Her fucking someone else isn't abuse.
jusee22: How did the kids come about? Magic?
Those are kids your spouse helped raise those are kids your spouse spent hours upon hours into, while still spending the time and effort to at least attempt this relationship.
You dont get to just ignore your spouse, even cheating on them, while also benefitting from all the hard work they do.
Overquoted: > You dont get to just ignore your spouse, even cheating on them, while also benefitting from all the hard work they do.
Which is what divorce is for. You just went on about 'those are kids your spouse helped raise' but this applies to her as well.
To paraphrase you: You don't get to just ignore your spouse, even moving to another state with your kids, while benefiting from all the hard work they did in raising those kids.
Losing your kids is not an appropriate "punishment" for cheating. That is utterly insane. And it ignores that the kids are getting punished by *losing a parent.* I'm not a parent, but I have never heard any parent say that losing a spouse was on par or worse than losing a child.
Don't use kids to punish people. It's not okay.
jusee22: But the issue here is he didnt ignore her. He wasnt the one that took a shit on their family she did.
She decided her family wasnt worth not having sex with other people. She decided that her husband wasnt worth it. She decided to betray her family's trust. She decided that her kids should need therapy for years to come
All he is doing by taking the kids is not rebuilding that trust, the trust is already broken, the work done by the parents has already been desecrated.
And its not using kids to punish someone. If someone cares so little about their kids as to completely destroy their family with little to no care then why should they care about the kids 3 years later when another man comes into the picture? This woman clearly has issues and she needs to work them out, while not hurting her children. She's done enough damage.
In fact if anything by taking the kids he is acknowledgeingthe work she put into them, because it is through her efforts alone that their family will never be whole agin.
Overquoted: > She's done enough damage.
The only harm done to the kids is the marriage ending. But marriages end all the time and we generally don't say people shouldn't be parents because of it. **So please, answer this question:** why would a marriage ending because one parent stopped loving the other be less harmful to children than a marriage ending because one parent cheated?
hexrei: Well, one is probabl a pre-requisite for the other, but love means different things to different people at different times in their lives. The OP sounds completely recalcitrant and based on some of the other info here is probably living some weird fantasy through text.
Overquoted: That doesn't really answer the question about harm. Why is one more harmful than the other?
hexrei: It's entirely relative. I can't tell you what to care about. The OP sounds damaged, not awful, to me.
Overquoted: How is it relative if the original commenter is using it as justification for why she shouldn't have her kids? That's kind of my point.
hexrei: I dont care if she has kids becaue I think this is a catfish now, but keep on keepin on :)
Overquoted: Even if it is, people are still pretty fucked up in this thread and many have said they want her to lose her kids.
hexrei: Baby your baby. It really does depend on the case and that depends on the area. My sister is a lesbian and she claims she got raped by a dude at a bar even though she has the address but won't provide any sort of law enforcement regarding it. But what she did get was my grandmother's house out of it because of course you can't be a lady without a baby
Overquoted: Can't speak to your sister's overall situation, but if she's not reporting... Like, that's pretty common. Most of the women I've known who were raped didn't report. My own mother didn't.
Hell, if your own brother won't believe you, why would police?
hexrei: Hey, you want her number? She could totally use another mark to rip off.
Overquoted: I don't know your sister or you. But so far, what I've gotten is that your sister said she was raped. You don't believe it because she didn't report it fully (or at all) to the police. And your grandmother gave her a house that has made you incredibly resentful of your sister.
Based off of *only* this, I can tell you're a bitter, entitled man. You had no claim on your grandmother's possessions and if she wanted to give her a house to her favorite dog, she could have. You need therapy. Most of the people on this thread do.
hexrei: That's quite an imagination you have. I don't even have a sister, lol.
Facebook-degree therapists are really the most fun.
Edit: just took a meander in your post history, wow. your mind was made before we spoke.
Oh, and btw- Im not even going to vote you down. I feel like your heart is in the right place, if not your facts.
Overquoted: Why bother making stuff up in a pretty much 1-on-1 conversation with someone? I get doing it as a post, but that isn't even this. You are weird.
hexrei: We're both weird.
| 25 | 22.56 | |
1653255666 | 1653266957 | t3_uvky74 | t5_2to41 | 40 | __anotherthrowaw: TIFU by ignoring some itching
Pretty TMI and contains some nightmare-inducing stuff. Also it wasn’t today but more like T (I realized) IFU.
About 2 weeks ago, I came back home after a year at college. A few days before that though, I was feeling some itching in my butt. I brushed it off, thinking it wasn’t a big deal and that it would go away on its own. After a week or so, I began to get more concerned, so I looked it up. A website I looked at (I forgot which) listed a bunch of causes, such as infection, wiping too hard, pinworms, hemorrhoids, diet… I ruled out some of them (ex. the website said you can see pinworm eggs as a white substance on underwear, which I didn’t after thorough inspections). I was thinking it was a hemorrhoid, or maybe not eating enough fiber at college, leading to itching, then wiping too hard as a result? Either way, I continued to brush it off (looking back, I definitely should’ve seen a doctor or something).
This morning, I was concerned again, and I realized that the itching was usually more intense at night (it wasn’t really a pattern I picked up on earlier since I was usually doing something else during the day, and I was distracted). When I looked it up, pinworms came up - and I read much more in depth about them. The more I read, the more my stomach sank. All the symptoms and everything else clicked in a horrifying way - they can spread through institutions, they can cause vaginal itching as well, they are most active when their host is asleep, etc… I’m thinking I got them when I was doing laundry as the entire dorm building shares 3 washers. Also, it turns out that the eggs are microscopic and not easily visible—I had dismissed the possibility too early. The doctor’s office isn’t open until tomorrow, so we quickly bought over the counter medication, and I’m going to be doing a tape test tomorrow morning (putting tape on my butt to be analyzed under the microscope for eggs.. yep).
Then I realized that by letting this continue for several weeks, I was probably spreading the eggs (airborne, can survive 2-3 weeks on surfaces) all over my house, especially my room (which I haven’t gotten around to fully cleaning up). I always wash my hands and shower daily, but the eggs collect under fingernails, which I didn’t pay particular attention to all the time. Also, none of my family members have experienced symptoms yet, but I read it takes 4-8 weeks from ingesting the eggs to the mature worms laying their eggs.
Now, whenever I feel another itch, I can’t help but think about the hundreds of thousands of worms moving in and out, laying their eggs. I feel like no matter how much I clean the entire house (including my entire room, all the clothing in the house, all curtains, everything in the bathrooms, etc.), there will always be some surface or crevice where they linger. Waiting to be inhaled or ingested, waiting to hatch inside my family and start a whole new cycle. I read about people dealing with them for YEARS. God I want to throw up just thinking about it. Also, I just finished the first season of Stranger Things, so those of you who watched it might understand why it added to my disgust.
It was definitely my fault for ignoring the symptoms for so long. If anyone has experience with pinworms, I’m sorry and I would appreciate any advice lol
TLDR: I brushed off some itching for a few weeks, turned out to be very likely pinworms, and now their eggs are probably all over the house and it’ll be hard to eradicate them completely.
RejectedBlue: You poor thing. I can certainly understand the disgust factor, but unfortunately communal living can lead to a multitude of infections. The good thing is now you know and treatment will cure you. Just make sure your whole family takes the medicine too, to prevent reinfection. Best of luck 🍀
__anotherthrowaw: Yep I’ll definitely make sure everyone else takes it! Thanks for the support 😊
Squigglepig52: Been there, as a kid and adult.
Be aware - you may need a second dose afew weeks or a month later.
| 4 | 10 | |
1653256500 | 1653257647 | t3_uvl849 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining my piano performance in front of crush + ensemble
[deleted]
sanfran_girl: I understand this was a horrible experience for you. I wish I could say that there will not be others like it in your lifetime. But with my (older than I want to think about) life experience, you will be ok. Give yourself the space to feel crappy about it, and then the space to be OK and move on.
I’ve blown auditions, interviews, work projects-all with having worked my butt off. Everyone has crap days. It happens. It sucks. The people who care about you will still care and the people who don’t, you do not need. 💕
panerajobseeker: thank you so much but trust me, I know!! Already feel better lol.
| 3 | 2 | |
1653257430 | 1653335051 | t3_uvljb2 | t5_2to41 | 175 | Invixous_: TIFU by accidentally eating a 30 mg edible and getting crossed in front of my whole family
So I just recently graduated college two days ago, and I decided to celebrate yesterday by spending time with my mom, dad, and brother in the pool. I'm enjoying a glass of my favorite bourbon, my dad cracks open a cigar for each of us, and I have my first Cuban to commemorate my graduation. I head inside for another drink and a snack, and here's where the FU happens...
I go into our snack cabinet and I see a lone Hershey's Kiss sitting atop the shelf. I think, "hey, this must be from my dad's coworker, who always gets us these delicious German chocolates", and I eat the whole thing in one bite. I head back outside and about an hour later, it hits. I can't stop smiling, everything is the funniest thing in the world, my senses are heightened, the sun is baking hot, and I'm thinking to myself "wow, I didn't know smoking a cigar would have this effect on me." Then the spins kick in, and I can barely walk, let alone stand in place.
My mom hops into the pool and my dad starts telling her about how his Meniere's disease symptoms have been getting better, and that his friend, Matt from work picked him up a 30 mg edible to split in half and try for two days. My eyes widen, and I instantly realize that the Hershey's Kiss I ate was a pot chocolate. I am high off my ass.
My parents can't stop laughing, I can't stop spinning, they can't believe I just ingested a large amount of pot and am now baked out of my mind. Keep in mind, I've only ever smoked once, so this one was kinda heavy for me. Needless to say, I was very crossed for the remainder of the day, spent most of my time over the toilet bowl, and passed out at 9pm, only to wake up STILL HIGH until 12 noon. From here on out, I will always check the wax wrapper in a Hershey's Kiss to confirm that the paper is labeled "Hershey's".
TL;DR: Celebrated my college graduation in the pool with a cigar and some whiskey, only to find out the snack I went inside for was a 30 mg edible. I was absolutely plastered and baked out of my mind.
InRowanWeTrust: As someone who smokes daily, 30mg’s would literally have zero effect on me, for someone who doesn’t smoke though, wow, that must have had some punch to it, especially because alcohol will make edibles have a bigger effect since they both go through your bloodstream lmao
Vampira309: right? I took 100 mg earlier today just to make yardwork more bearable :)
It will be a memorable college graduation story for him!
InRowanWeTrust: Edibles do make menial tasks more bearable. I’m a sports writer so usually when I take an edible I’ll be stuck trying to write the same story about the New York Knicks (the NBA team I cover) and then watch as the comments say I’m insane. Nah, not crazy, but sometimes I just get high and write and absolute nonsense comes out lol
| 4 | 43.75 | |
1653260794 | 1653315963 | t3_uvmm39 | t5_2to41 | 50 | Icebird-99: TIFU by trying to fix a small leak myself
Context: I'm in an apartment that I own, that was heavily renovated by the previous owner, but somewhat amateurishly by himself.
Today, I noticed a small leak at the base of my kitchen faucet. Not very concerning, it was only leaking when water was running. But I decided to not procrastinate for once, and try to repair it myself.
It's an old faucet, so it must simply be the base not screwed correctly. Ten minutes with a wrench, and I'll be done!
Yeah, no.... Seems the joint was dead, and no tightening would fix the situation.
And then I got the best idea ever!
I remembered I had a new faucet I bought a long long time ago for my bathroom, that I never installed because the sink is too old and necessitate a complete replacement, and then procrastinating, and then forgotting about it....
So, let's install this faucet on my kitchen sinks!
But first, cutting the main water valve. Hmmm where is it? Crap... I never needed to access it before, and I had no idea where it could be. I started to look everywhere, following water lines, etc.
I even moved my refrigerator, with a lot of sweating and swearing, because multiple lines seemed to go behind it, and I noticed a closed panel. No luck, the panel was hiding electric nodes..
After an hour of search, I finally found it.. in the building cellars! Seems my appartement is the only one to have a main valve directly attached to the building main water line, randomly in the middle of a cellar corridor..
Finally, time to remove the old faucet!
And of course it's a nightmare, with seized up bolts, almost no space and no visibility since it's tucked behind the two sinks. And of course the specialized tool from the new faucet seems to be exactly what I would need to unscrew the old one, but the diameter is **just** a sliver too different.
The ending approach, the old faucet is finally deposed!
Of course I forgot to note which pipe was hot water and cold water, so I have 50% chance of being right ( luckily it was good!)
Of course I badly screwed one of the pipe, and when I went back from the cellars, there was a leak not so minor...
Advice: when you have a leak on a pipe, go cut the water main again, don't try to just retighten immediately. I almost caused a flood, but corrected it just at the last moment. Still got some more water to clean..
And finally, it is done! My new faucet is installed, right in the middle of the double sink. I can now try it.
...
I'm a moron.
After about 3 hours of sweating, swearing and hard but clueless work. I finally installed my new **bathroom** faucet in my kitchen.
A faucet perfect for a simple single sink, to wash hands for example.
A faucet not designed for a kitchen, especially with multiple sinks..
A faucet that is fix and cannot rotate...
A faucet actually right in the middle between the two sinks...
After some more tinkering, the faucet was reoriented toward one of the sink, but yeah, I now have a somewhat functional faucet, that I will have to replace asap because nearly useless for most kitchen tasks.
TL;DR : Tried to fix a leak. Thought 10 mins with a wrench to tighten it would be enough. Finished 3 hours later, exhausted, with a new faucet installed, to finally notice it's not the correct type of faucet, not able to rotate between the two sinks.
Ok-Palpitation2798: This was a plot twist after another. You should write a book
ohgeebus_notagain: It would be more functional than that faucet
Ok-Palpitation2798: yes!
| 4 | 12.5 | |
1653261703 | 1653269728 | t3_uvmw1b | t5_2to41 | 13 | Iceicem0ney: TIFU my choosing my childhood dreams over my child’s
[removed]
SorryAd1116: Hows is going on a road trip a childhood dream? 🤔 I just dont think recreating something they did as a child counts as a childhood dream. Usually when someone is talking about their childhood dream it's something they never got to do but always wanted. Like her daughter, who wants to go to Disney.
Aggravating_Art_4809: I think she used to do it with family who cut her off, now they have invited her back for the first time… maybe the wrong words for that. I think she meant “nostalgia”
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1653261107 | 1653262489 | t3_uvmpkz | t5_2to41 | 23 | NextProfession4030: TIFU by going through my 11 year old niece’s cellphone
\*\*\*\*Re upload because you guys wouldn't stop complaining about the formatting .-.\*\*\*\*
**Niece's upbringing and family history:**
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Long story short I decided to invade her (T) privacy , she has an adoptive mother L (*my older sister*) with manic depression and schizophrenia who could care less about what’s she’s doing.
Seriously. Her and her sister (L’s bio daughter) have had unsupervised internet access since they could talk. T’s bio mom is L’s ex sister in law (baby daddy of H) and is an alcoholic who drank throughout her pregnancy and seriously traumatized her for the first 6 months of her life and thats when L took T under her wing.
2 years later her sister (H) was born and her life wasn’t easy ever since then. H and T are biological cousins, T was born with a target on her back and L showed strong toxic favoritism towards H. L has told her that she hates her and has said multiple times she doesn’t want to care for her anymore but when the time came up she refused to give her up to our elderly mother and I because she knew we would give her a better life than H and her and she couldn’t stand the idea of that. When T’s bio mom wanted to buy her a cellphone she refused and said she wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone if H didn’t have one.
When L and her baby daddy separated she moved back into our mother’s house (I had just graduated high school, ran away from not accepting parents (I have a gf) & came back) and L stayed in a bedroom w H (6) and T (7). She was a “SAHM” who refused to get a job and just expected to live for free (and she did) probably the first 2 years. Being a SAHM would’ve been fine if she actually did the mom part, her only major responsibility was to take them to school and she failed to even do that. Those kids had at least 30 unexcused absences per year and she would seriously not take them just because she didn’t feel like getting up.
H and T almost never ate home cooked meals, I’m talking frozen mozzarella sticks for breakfast and pizza almost every other night. H’s eczema would flare up because her mother wouldn’t wash their clothes for MONTHS. She would let clothes pile up in those thick black construction bags and just re use the same clothes or “do the laundry” in the bathroom despite my mother urging her to stop because she was already racking up the water bill with her kid’s unsupervised showers; and her bringing people over to do their hair in my mother’s dining room.
CPS was involved only because she was a victim of domestic abuse by her ex baby daddy but they really didn’t give a fuck about the deplorable conditions she had these kids in. L is very religious and doesn’t have trouble painting a perfect picture family for them before they arrive. (She’s a Gemini if that means anything) I would be fuming when they didn’t see anything wrong with her parenting. I gathered so much evidence, conversations, pictures of the damage she’s done and the state the tiny bedroom with the unhinged door was in, but I ultimately didn’t do anything when I saw how useless CPS was, it really crushed my spirits. You can't really build a case for emotional abuse to cps even when you have a video of 7 year T saying she feels like mommy and H leave her out.
I've considered taking custody of them ever since I was 18 but I live in a studio apartment with my gf and 2 pets I already can't afford, I work a minimum wage job and it just doesn't feel like something I can do realistically especially in NYC.
I know it's selfish but it doesn't seem fair to me to take on my sister's responsibilities who btw is 15 years older than me and about to turn 40, and she gets to live a care free life. All she used to do is complain about how T is too much for her to handle and she didn't have to adopt her. Meanwhile it was 11 year old me who would have sleepless nights because baby T would cry for hours and she wouldn't bother to check up on her because she was in another bedroom sleeping peacefully with her ex husband. I would just cry out out of frustration with baby T because I had to wake up early for school. Those 3 nights a week were the worst times of my life.
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**Current home life and situation:**
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ANYWAYS fast forward 4 years later my girls are 10 and 11 now and we’ve made wonderful memories despite our toxic family. I’ve really healed my inner child with them and given them the luxury of driving them places in my $5000 upside down shitty nissan, buying them a wii on Christmas 2019 :’), cooking recipes for them I’ve seen on tiktok, and decorating for them on their birthdays and making them feel special. Yup. The bare minimum. I didn’t have any of this as a kid I just didn't realize how fucked up my family was until I met my beautiful girlfriend who has the type of family that sits down together for dinner.
L is still living for free, her current baby daddy pays for the rent 100% (they now live in the basement) and she has an 8 month old son with him. When he was about 3 months old L decided that she didn’t want these girls no more after T came back from grippy sock jail.
T was in school when her teacher saw self harm marks and immediately alerted the staff and you can imagine what happened after that.
T stayed in there for 3-4 days and L didn’t visit her once. Meanwhile our elderly mother went to see her taking 45 min of public transport to get there.
Well T self harmed because she was fighting with L the day before and when T got home from grippy sock jail L decided both H & T are too much for her and that our mother can take full custody of them. This lasted for about like a month maybe because my mom needed to rent my old bedroom they were staying in.
Idk how L can be so cruel and just abandon H and T to start a new family, it’s insane. H is no longer the favorite, hasn’t been so for about 9 months now. Now she’s just the middle child.
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**The reasoning behind the fuck up:**
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These girls have been living this past school year as if they were seniors in HS. The baby was born in September so you can imagine how absent L is. They do chores and everything they’re supposed to for 10 and 11 but have free reign on the internet they have it all, snapchat, tiktok, twitter, and instagram.
Ever since T started middle school she’s been acting out really bad, not necessarily at home but in school. Fights every other week, drama etc. I’ve stumbled across T’s school accounts on tiktok where you basically have to guess who the student is based off vague characteristics and interests. Its not difficult at all and I recognized her right away and it said she likes to vape. I haven’t confronted her about this because she doesn’t know I’ve seen it, she also lied to me about trying it. I used to be her most trusted person, but now she is very careful with what she says around me she knows I obviously wouldn’t approve, but it’s not like I can do anything I’m not her mom.
This whole middle school experience has been concerning, she told me her friend showed her weed on the bus. How ? Why ? They’re 11, they’re not even legally allowed to ride shot gun.
&#x200B;
**The fuck up:**
&#x200B;
Anyways I went through her phone today because it's been a while and I haven’t seen her and I just wanted to see if she’s alright. I basically wanted to confirm if what I saw on Tiktok was true and it was.
As far as weed, thankfully nothing about that came up. I was really upset to find videos of her vaping on the school bus, but even more upset to find the explicit messages to her boyfriend on her phone. I know its normal but she is way too young. I learned through these texts that she gave her boyfriend head some time in the beginning of this month. It didn’t say when or where but this feels like such a pressing issue especially when she’s telling her boyfriend she wants a baby. I found 1 explicit photo that was deleted so who knows how long this has been going on. If someone were to read the conversation you would think it was between 2 adults in their 20s.
She seems to be the one who initiates this behavior, she casually texted him not to long ago asking if he wanted head later on in the day it sounds like this is a normal thing for them. She has probably snuck out countless times how could L be so stupid and oblivious?
L doesn't monitor them at all, T is just getting her grades up this month because she was in danger of not passing 6th grade. I wouldn’t even know where she would’ve had the chance to do something like that without being in someone’s house. Atp I'm convinced they've had sex already.
&#x200B;
**Possible solution to my fuck up:**
&#x200B;
I found T’s boyfriend on social media and his mother, I was considering messaging her anonymously to ask her if she’s aware of this (she has met T) and to please monitor her kid because no one is going to do it from my end. I really don’t know what to do Reddit, I just need some solid advice on how to parent someone else’s kid when I don’t have any authority.
I feel horrible for invading her privacy but this behavior just doesn’t feel ok. Seriously makes me feel disturbed which says a lot because I was sa’d when I was 7 years old, I used to blame myself but now that Im in my 20s I can’t look at a child that way, idk how a man in his 40s did.
Im sorry for the rant and irrelevant information reddit, I just don’t know how to approach this situation without destroying our relationship. I just want her to be happy and healthy and have a normal childhood.
I’m scared that if we bring up this situation to her she’d just become even more sneakier.
Edit: I am a girl despite my avatar (Gender dysphoric lol)
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TL;DR Mentally scarred my self going through my 11 year old’s phone and found out she is engaged in sexual activity and don’t know how to stop it
MonkeyMoney101: This is a lot. First you need to come to your niece as a friend and let them know you're there to help them. You have to own up to invading their privacy, which in most circumstances would be bad, but you've found some problems that you just can't leave on their own obviously. Try to approach as an educator on how their lungs aren't developed yet and they can do whatever they want as an adult, but vaping or smoking are not good for them now. Obviously you know better what your niece will respond to, so there's a lot of discretion for how you help with these things, but next up: get rid of all of those texts and photos. They can get your niece and the other child in serious trouble, and they should both understand the risk of that. I don't think you have to go into detail, but you should inform the other child's parent that there are explicit messages that put them both in legal trouble. I don't know if you're gonna be able to enforce a child to follow any rules, but they probably aren't getting education about protection, so at the very least, you should offer that knowledge.
MonkeyMoney101: As others mentioned, if you can't get a mental health professional, at least encourage them to speak with the counselor and KEEP encouraging that if they don't end up doing it.
MonkeyMoney101: Just remind yourself that it's not easy to solve all this yourself. Self harm and being in a detrimental environment as a child are things that definitely most people would need a therapist's help with.
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1653262086 | 1653660012 | t3_uvn003 | t5_2to41 | 89 | Express-Addition-400: TIFU by listening too much
I'm 13m. My father and my mother separated about 10 months ago after about 10 years of marriage. No abuse, or anything like that, just a general disinterest I guess. I'll skip most of the details because they aren't relevant. Anyways, present day. By now I have counselling by tomorrow, where I don't get the option to talk to the councilor privately. My father and mother are still in a legal marriage, however at this point where they have bought separate houses, they are likely going to divorce. Keyword still. My dad has about 3 dating apps. He's made out with one of my friends (lets call him *John* for now) mom's cousin (at least that's what *John* says he's walked in on). And he's dating that same friends mom. In counselling tomorrow should I just spill the beans or keep it a secret? My brother who is 11 will also be at counselling, along with my dad. My dad doesn't seem to know that I know. Trying to tell me and my brother they're all just friends. What should I do? The separation has barely affected me but this is just crippling my mental health.
Edit: Worth noting that my parents are not abusive, or mistreating, they are good parents.
BTW this is my first post on a subreddit like this. Let me know if I did anything wrong.
TL;DR My dad, who is still in a legally binding marriage with my mom (but separated) is dating about \~3 other girls and I know about it. Counselling with my brother and dad is tomorrow, should I tell him I know everything?
Update: Counselling is moved to another date (this Sunday I believe?). More time to think I guess. I'll post another update when its all said and done
Trouble_in_Mind: Tbh I'd say something if it was me. I can't stand cheating and if he's dating 3 women at once - even ignoring that he's still married, because of the separation - I'd be spilling tea to my counselor, mom, and those three women.
Buuut I'm older than you and probably pettier lol. Do what feels right, friendo.
Badhaase: How is it cheating if they are separated living in separate houses?
Express-Addition-400: Technically there are still in a legally binding relationship. They need to be separated 2 years to divorce
1TenDesigns: Trust me. That's only a legal thing.
If they've bought separate houses they're done. There's no going back.
It's been 10 months that you know of. But probably several years for 1 or both of them.
It sounds to me like you haven't actually come to terms with the breakup as much as you think you have. Your dad isn't cheating on your Mom, he's moving on.
And if you think mid 30s hooking up is creepy I hate to tell you what your grandparents are doing.
| 5 | 17.8 | |
1653267976 | 1653276599 | t3_uvoq2d | t5_2to41 | 56 | ThisLet9363: TIFU by almost drowning in a swamp of cow-dung [LITERALLY]
Obligatory: This happened a few years ago.
My siblings, father, uncle and I were visiting our farmhouse. There was a broom of baby chicks and I was trying to catch one of them. While doing so, I ran right into an area that I thought was soil. As soon as I set my foot there, I thought it was wet soil.. and then I landed another step, it hit me that the soil was actually a swamp of cow-dung and I was now DROWNING. I realised what was happening and looked at my family members and I was speechless in this moment of panic. A little girl lived there whose parents worked at our farmhouse and she started laughing at me. There I was, sinking in while thinking these are the last few moments of my life. I wanted to cry for help but instead I was banging my head for some reason and wasn’t able to utter a word. I don't remember what happened after this distinctly but as far as I know, a worker saw the girl laughing at my misery which eventually lead them to my half sunk body. They rushed towards me and pulled me out of there. Turned out to be a trench used for dumping all the animal faeces which was at-least 10ft deep.
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TL;DR: I almost buried myself 6ft deep in a 10ft deep swamp of cow-dung.
nphased: For those that might not think this story is real, it can be all too real. I don’t know why fencing isn’t required around those things.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/deaths-of-farmworkers-in-cow-manure-ponds-put-oversight-of-dairy-farms-into-question/2017/09/24/da4f1bae-8813-11e7-961d-2f373b3977ee_story.html
ThisLet9363: They regularly dumped shit there and no one really visited the farmhouse , so no fencing
Also not Us lol
nphased: I thought the similarity was more almost dying in a deadly vat of shit more than it being in the US lol.
| 4 | 14 | |
1653266679 | 1653337189 | t3_uvocm6 | t5_2to41 | 26 | fearverus: TIFU by over cooking popcorn
Today, my wife asked me to make a bag of popcorn. Should be a simple task, put the bag in the microwave, set the timer, and wait. Easy, I've done it plenty of times. You know what else I've done plenty of times? Made instant mashed potatoes, which I do by microwaving two cups of water.
When I make popcorn, it takes a little more than 2 minutes. The water for the instant potatoes takes between 4 and 5 minutes. Today, my dumb brain decided that clearly I'd been mixing those two things up. So obviously I put the popcorn in the microwave for 4 and a half minutes. I then decided I didn't need to watch it.
My wife notices when the popcorn stopped popping, but I figured it was nothing. I was wrong. It finally occurred to me that the amount of time I put it in for was not normal, so I took it out. The bag was actually smoking it was so burnt. And I don't just mean a little smoke, I mean I thought it was about to catch fire. I ended up running water over it to make it stop.
Now I have a wasted bag of popcorn, a kitchen that smells like smoke, and my wife won't let me forget.
TL;DR: I over cooked popcorn by almost 2 minutes. Came close to setting something on fire. Now my apartment smells like smoke.
camlaw63: Stove top popcorn is superior to all
karmeleeon: You misspelled ‘air popper’
camlaw63: Umm
hghjjj14: Don't mind him, he misspelled "stove."
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1653270387 | 1653271204 | t3_uvpfht | t5_2to41 | 12 | punitp59: TIFU by calling a girl hot
First post so please forgive any grammatical or punctuation error.
For Context,
A couple years ago I was a guy who casually flirted and dated people, I was never serious about anyone in particular but I did have an unrequited and uninterested highschool crush. I was always being an emo about it and ended up getting played by a lot of people while oversharing.
One day I was driving to the other part of town to score some grass and at a long traffic light, I did what why desperate 20 year old could think of doing, I started checking my Tinder account.
I found this woman with incredible fascination towards eating noodles and so full of life. Well at that instant there was nothing more to it than that so I thought to myself even if I can't date her (I'm a guy with severe self esteem issues regardless of my lifestyle) I might be able to befriend her and at the very least, have some fucking noodles with her because damn she was really into it.
We ended up matching, she and I ended up becoming great friends and we almost called each other every single night. When I had my anxiety and depression attacks specially around my birthday, she had been by my side even though we barely knew each other that well.
Fast forward to 4 months, I ask her whether I can date her or not and surprisingly she said yes. We started off rough because of being thrown into long distance because of covid and had a few minor arguments and conflicts but we made it work almost perfectly. After an year into our relationship, well 14 months to be precise, she returned back and we were able to see each other again. But it wasn't easy from there on out with the consecutive waves of covid there was repetitive curfews being imposed so we decided to move in together.
Moving in with someone for the first time will be hard for anyone I guess, or maybe it was just me. Once again the start was a little rough and patchy. I decided I need to change a lot to fit into this and be a better person. Everything started going well after that until she developed severe piriformis syndrome, it was misdiagnosed at first but later I spent hours of research into it to allow her to recover better and help ease the pain.
Now the real fuck up begins here,
Remember that highschool crush? Well I had recently gotten in touch with her during covid peak to help her arrange an oxygen tank for her acquaintances, I worked in NGO so it was an option for me. Somewhere around my birthday depression/anxiety phase, I had complimented her because I thought just like me she was also having an existential crisis (she was not, it's a validation thing she's been doing since childhood). I felt bad for saying the word hot but I thought if it helps someone smile, why not.
Tonight I went to sleep with hugs and kisses with my gf and woke up in the morning with her waking me up. I thought, her being a night person, she must not have been feeling good or could be that some pain must have triggered up. Boy was I wrong, she snooped into my phone to find that text with my highschool crush which I had told she has nothing to worry about and called me out for being a betrayer and lier.
After hours of consoling and discussing and talking to her, she decided to move out and break up with me for good. Now I know that if she's that mad, there's no going back from it. I apologized to her repetitively, even begged at a lot of points but she didn't budge (she's an extremely determined lady). Finally I had to realize this and I just asked her to listen to me give her an honest closure at the very least so that she doesn't go around hating herself cause God be my witness, the woman actually gave this relationship her all and honestly I don't know how I can overlook this thing and letting it end up the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Now it's a thunderstorm in my city, I'm up since 5 in the morning looking at the lights and thinking what else can I do other than make a TIFU post about it and let the internet mock me for the asshole I've just become. Idk if I can ever redeem myself in my own eyes even let alone hers.
tl:dr - Called my childhood crush hot while being in a relationship of 2 years, she snooped in on the phone and broke up with me.
ursois: Dang, OP. You dodged a bullet there. Imagine she'd gone nutty like that if you'd been married. Things would be way more difficult and complicated.
punitp59: Honestly I wanted to marry this girl, about her trust being broken with me calling a girl hot, she had told me about the baggage she had and the trust issue she had, I wasn't in the dark and the fuck up is totally owned by me, Wish I could've gone back in time and beat myself up with a belt or something instead of doing what I did.
ursois: Nah. It's on her. Your behavior wasn't that bad. It certainly wasn't worth breaking up over. And snooping on your phone is a big red flag.
punitp59: I think maybe she did it because we had to go in long distance again around later this week for about over a month so she could've been anxious. I know snooping around is not okay but honestly neither is calling someone hot when you're committed to someone. It's barely been a couple of hours since the incident, I can't even share this to my family or friends because I've involved her everywhere and with everyone.
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1653270909 | 1653284319 | t3_uvpkss | t5_2to41 | 20 | Good_Ganache_7049: TIFU by Googling My Co-workers
I (19F) am currently interning at a small (Employs around 10 people) local accounting company which does taxes. My mom was the one who help set up this internship as she has an acquaintance whose husband owns this accounting business. Today, I was curious and decided to search up my co-workers who all seemed like normal people. The first co-worker I searched up, a link popped up for the Sex Offender Registry. I could not confirm that it was my co-worker from the photo so I decided to move on and search up another co-worker (Co-worker 2) . The first several links to pop up for co-worker 2 were news articles about his arraignment on the possession and manufacturing of child pornography on his work computer. These charges were pressed only two years ago. I proceeded to look up a third co-worker. The first several articles again were news articles with tiles of "teacher accused of having sex with a teen." I was dumbfounded while watching videos of their court hearings. The more I googled, I have found out that mostly everyone at the company has a record. I am unsure whether I should tell my parents about the information I've found out. If my parents knew, I know they would flip out and make me quit. To preface, several years ago, one of my neighbor's new boyfriend was a sex offender which was the sole reason why my parents moved. I make decent money at this internship and I have no other plans lined up.
TL;DR Today I fucked up by googling my co-workers and finding out that most of them are recent sex offenders.
ripaway1: Not all sex offenders are bad people peeing in public, 16/19yo relationships, public sex etc. but if the whole god damn company got a record especially for the kinda stuff you listed. I’d be looking for something else in the mean time. Gotta a deeper reason other than Curiosity that sparked your interest in looking up your coworkers…
ProvokedGolem: You think a fucking 19 year old dating a 16 year old is ok? Fucking pedo
ripaway1: 14yo freshman and 17yo junior high school relationships are pretty common. Does that make them pedophiles too? Age of consent is 16 in a lot of places. 16yo dating 20yo isn’t unheard of, and usually goes unpunished unless something serious is going. It’s kinda one of those grey areas that the public turns a blind eye to. I’m not advocating for pedophiles either. I was raped when I was 14, people like you are why Pedophilia thrives and pedophiles don’t get the help they need.
ProvokedGolem: The help they need is a bullet in the back of the head
ripaway1: Agreed but that isn’t legal. They need therapy and the ones who truly don’t change need it scared on their forehead what they are. Courts aren’t tough enough on child sex offenders
| 6 | 3.333333 | |
1653272580 | 1653273097 | t3_uvq27o | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU my making a joke with my friend and did not know it had trauma behind it…
[deleted]
Calbinan: So she got into a car crash because she was high, implying she drove high, which is some of the most irresponsible and dangerous shit you can do... and somehow you’re supposed to feel bad for... what, exactly? For mentioning weed? You did nothing wrong on that front. I’d be more concerned about the “ass” part. If that wasn’t a problem, then there shouldn’t be a problem.
JerseyShoreWebDev: Exactly. If you made a joke about a car, would that have been bad, too?
Calbinan: Or a joke about endangering the lives of everyone around you?
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1653270604 | 1653342187 | t3_uvphp7 | t5_2to41 | 10 | TemboTuicha: TIFU By taking a bath with my socks on
So anyways, I (23M) was staying at my parents (57F and 63M) for the weekend and it was really cold, because in the southern hemisphere it's winter (I think). We had a lot of fun with my family playing board games and visiting places we used to go with my siblings (25F, 32F, and 31M) when we were younger. We even watched power rangers on our old VHS player. But when the time came for taking a bath, disaster struck...there was no hot water. We thought that the problem would be solved for the next day so we didn't bathe that day, but on the next day there was no choice it was either catching a cold or being smelly, and of course I chose being smelly, but my sisters didn't like that because me and my brother were really sweaty after the activities we did that day, so they forced us. I was first, it was really cold for what I was used to as I mentioned in the begining so I figured that if clothes help me with not being cold, then I should leave some clothes on to not get to cold, but if I left any clothes then I wouldn't be able to clean those parts, so I left my socks on since it's not like I was my feet anyways. Little to say it was not pleasant.
TL;DR: I took a bath with my socks on
not_very_canadian: The vast amount of knowledge & information on the internet and we're here reading this poetry.
starliner2000: At least we all know the ages of everyone in OP's immediate family. I can now die happy knowing that info.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1653273384 | 1653335613 | t3_uvqafp | t5_2to41 | 24 | beardogmanpigthing: TIFU In too deep.
Welp IFU. This past Thursday morning my girlfriend started a tif with me that made me upset. Last week was super stressful with work. I just didn’t want to deal with it and just left. I didn’t speak to her all day. Friday rolled around, her friend flew in for a wedding that I too was suppose to go to. Didn’t go. Didn’t talk to her all day.
Ive gone all weekend without talking to her. At first I just wanted some space, some me time, but as the weekend blurred together I quickly realized how big of a hole I put myself in. Pretty sure I’m going to have to break up with her. Theres no coming back now from this. I don’t think there is any good explanation for me to not talk to her for going on 4 days. Im slightly scared as well (*nervous laughing*)
I think ill just have to assume this is it, and just move, change my number possibly get a mustache.
TL;DR: Haven’t spoken to my gf in 4 days, I’m going to have to break up with her.
BarryBadgernath1: ... speak to her like an adult ... say you were going through something (which you obviously were, even if you didn't realize it at the time) ... apologize if you think it's warranted.... ask where she lands on the two of you right now .... ... or just move ... I've been in several long term relationships (7+years) and every time I've taken time like that to myself, no matter what it was over, I realized the relationship wasn't working for me .... if it was working, I would have handled it better ..... codependency is a bitch and sneaks up on you
beardogmanpigthing: Thank you
BarryBadgernath1: For what ? I'm an 'old man' (mid 30's) ... been through some shit relationship wise ... going through it now .... just saying,, wasting your time or anyone else's is ....... just a waste .... better you figure out now that there's some fundamental problems between the two of you than trying to force it for another 1-2-3-4-10 years
Edit: spelling
ElectroStaticSpeaker: You write a well written, thoughtful post, get thanked by OP for it, and then start replying like you're mad he read your post in the first place.
He thanked you for your insight I'd suppose, like most people on reddit thanking people for taking the time to write replies to their situations.
BarryBadgernath1: I meant that kind of tongue in cheek... guess it didn't Translate through text .... didn't mean anything by it at all .... I apologize
Edit: little bitter about my current situation......
| 6 | 4 | |
1653276008 | 1653317216 | t3_uvr1fu | t5_2to41 | 64,065 | timhortons67: TIFU by misusing a whiteboard for 1 1/2 years.
I bought a whiteboard when I moved into my new and current house. This was supposed to be the ultimate pièce de résistance to my awesome new home office. It took a few months to ship, and when it finally did, I was pretty unhappy with it. First of all, there was this big crack behind it, bending the metal in an unsatisfying way, but it wasn't that noticeable so I didn't bother sending it back. The worst, though, was that it was near impossible to write on it without leaving ghost marks. And you can forget about letting some writing on it more than 24 hours.
As a result, I wound up not using it for most of the last year. Basically, his only purpose was as a magnet holder, when it should have been used for so many different projets.
Today, as I finally had some free time, I looked into the process of cleaning my whiteboard, and making it more usable. As I applied some store bought cleaner, I found this small tear in some kind of plastic coating. I freaked out, ripped it all out and came to the horrifying conclusion that I spent 1 1/2 years writing on plastic.
&#x200B;
I now have a brand new, unused board that has been sitting in my office.
&#x200B;
tl;dr: bought a whiteboard, forgot to take the plastic layer off and took way too long to figure it out
[EDIT](https://imgur.com/a/zID4BuO)
heyitsvonage: So I had a shitty whiteboard that I used for a bit but then just left in a closet after my most recent move…
Turns out this is why it was shitty hahahahaha
K4ntum: In my last year of high school, our school got new whiteboards after using chalkboards for years. In my country you get different "branches" you can select in your first year of high school, my class was a more math and physics extensive one and so it's seen as the "smart one".
Anyway for 30 minutes, our math teacher and my entire class were trying to figure out why it wasn't working and figured the school got some defective one. We went to tell the principal. He comes in, tears away the plastic, looks at us and goes "so much for the brightest students in the school" and leaves. Our teacher was super embarrassed and we were just cracking the fuck up because we always knew we were fucking idiots.
wienercat: In my experience, the smartest people often overlook the simplest solutions
white_android: "huh not working... *Checks all connections* "what the fuck!" *Looks again* "oh... It wasn't plugged in. Ha ha"
H16HP01N7: Me, last week, moving a piece of furniture that had a printer on top of it.
Me: Pulls furniture.
Furniture: Doesn't move.
Me: WTF! Pulls furniture again, a bit harder.
Furniture: Nope, doesn't move.
Me: Checks around bottom of furniture, nothing in the way. Pulls furniture again.
Furniture: Uh Uh Human.... doesn't move.
Me: Gets annoyed, swears a bit.
Wife: Comes in, asks what's up.
Me: Explain that the fucking furniture won't fucking move, and I'm about to break some shit.
Wife: Looks. Unplugs printer.
Furniture: Moves.
hockeyak: Jane smart, Tarzan dumb
StuStutterKing: My Jane spent two hours looking for her bracelet the other day. She had it on her other wrist.
LunaLapisLazuli: I once freaked out while talking to someone over the phone because I thought i lost my phone smh.
On the bright side, the person I was talking to also did not realize I had it in my hand.
AugustJulius: And we laugh at cats being suddenly scared.
4gotOldU-name: Or terrified of cucumbers.
finalgranny420: Wait, what now?
4gotOldU-name: Oh you're in for a treat... Google cats and cucumbers and watch some funny videos....
finalgranny420: I'm back and I can confirm I was treated
| 14 | 4,576.071429 | |
1653278292 | 1653283122 | t3_uvro8a | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying benzos
I don’t encourage the recreational usage of benzodiazepines. Especially after this experience I had. Use them as medication, not for recreation. But if you do use them recreationally… don’t crush the pills before taking them.
But I got my hand on some benzos. The guy had alprazolam (Xanax) and diazepam (Valium) so I grabbed some of each. I took them home with me, and that night I was pretty bored, so I decided I’d try both of them.
I grabbed 1 mg of Xanax and 10 mg of Valium. I crushed the pills up, mixed them into some bleach, and then drank the benzo bleach.
Shit. What do I even say about this? As soon as it went down, my throat was fucked. And I mean FUCKED. Horrific burning all the way down and into my stomach.
I couldn’t really enjoy the high at all, because of how bad the burning was. I wasn’t really anxious about it (because benzos prevent anxiety) but objectively I was thinking to myself, damn am I fucked?
I’m all good now, but never touching benzos again. Fuck that
TLDR: Took 1 mg of Xanax and 10 mg of Valium, fried the ever loving shit out of my throat. Never doing benzos again.
Natsurulite: You said you drank bleach?
[deleted]: Yeah. I’m not great at swallowing pills, so I figured that mixing them into a liquid would help them go down better. And bleach instead of water, because water doesn’t hide the taste at all.
sshiverandshake: Confirm what you mean by bleach please.
I find it hard to believe anyone is stupid enough to drink bleach in a recreational setting and not understand the consequences.
[deleted]: Bleach means Clorox bleach (the best brand)
| 5 | 4 | |
1653279876 | 1653282284 | t3_uvs3ke | t5_2to41 | 3 | mr_tofu_the_first: TIFU by telling my friend that I kinda wanna see my gf in a swimming suit
[removed]
belaitedwaif: Do you know what girlfriends are for? How old are you 🤣
mr_tofu_the_first: 17
belaitedwaif: And you haven’t had any sort of sexual contact w/ her?
mr_tofu_the_first: Yeah not yet
belaitedwaif: You know it’s normal for people in a relationship to have sex right? I’m not understanding why it’s weird to want to see your gf in a bathing suit…
jbro84: Because it's obvious they've barely even kissed. Like, imagine a husband saying he'd like to see what his wife looks like under her dress... seriously 😐
| 7 | 0.428571 | |
1653281195 | 1653282270 | t3_uvsft3 | t5_2to41 | 58 | broony92: TIFU because 3 years ago I met a guy on Twitch who has today driven me to breaking point
3 years ago before the pandemic I was creating gaming content on Twitch when one of my viewers (John) started chatting away to me. He was from Australia and over time we struck up a friendship that turned flirty and eventually became romantic. (He's a real person - we spoke on the phone/computer and everything I promise you he's real.)
When the pandemic hit and talking online became the norm me and John got really close, we spoke of meeting, we talked all the time, had dates and even spoke of trying to do long distance and then see if it would lead to one of us moving country to be with the other. In hindsight I know this sounds crazy but at the time he would call me a goddess, he would wake up at 3am and text me saying I was all he could think about and despite my best efforts and common sense about being on 2 different sides of the world, I only went and bloody fell for him didn't I!? (writing this down is actually really helping me so sorry if I start to get a bit humorous here on out - I'm embarrassed I even fell for this guy and all this in hindsight.)
If I had a bad day I could call him and he would always be there, we started sitting at the computer and watching a movie together once a week and then outside of all that we were always texting/flirting and he was super romantic to me. I was dumb but I wear my heart on my sleeve and apparently love a big red flag.
In the past I'd had experiences with men before where I'd been cheated on/treated badly etc so I have a lot of anxiety around men cheating but for the 2 years I honestly thought this man could do no wrong. I not once felt threatened, I was genuinely at peace and felt like a guy just got me and I could be myself - exactly what you'd want to feel when with a partner.
It started to go downhill about a year ago.
John went from messaging everyday and being super romantic to being less-so and talking less frequent. I'd met all of his friends online and we were all in a group chat on Discord and one day I decided to scroll up and look at older conversations. I scrolled and scrolled past usual Discord chat rubbish and then I'd seen some flirty comments between John and another girl in there. I can pin point this as the exact moment it all went downhill for me and when I should have went "no, enough, leave!" but like I said, I wear my heart on my sleeve and honestly as daft as it sounds I really thought me and him would work out.
I confronted him about the girl and he assured me these were silly comments he made in front of friends that meant nothing but unfortunately the seed of doubt had been planted and I immediately began to mistrust him.
The past year basically became constant conversations and stressful fights anytime he stopped talking to me for a period of time and sometimes he would get snappy with me and say he was under immense pressure and stress from work. I put it down to the two of us being frustrated about lockdown and the fact that we'd have met by now if covid hadn't happened.
It just kept getting worse. I started to panic that I was going to get my heart broken and constantly over analysed and panicked myself about him leaving. At the worst points I suggested we just be friends when he displayed traits that he was maybe no longer interested in me but every time I done this he would get more chatty, make the effort that I wanted and I'd go crawling back.
Over Christmas me and my family stopped talking due to a fall out over my birthday (long story but this caused a mass fallout between me, my sister and my Dad) and I rang John and sat on the phone while I was at a friends house and my friend heard him sit on the phone and call me a bitch a few times which then caused another argument where I asked John why he was being so mean to me on Christmas day when it was my first time being without my parents. John knew my situation and my friend knew all about our relationship and was genuinely shocked at how John spoke to me on the phone. My friend took a disliking to him from that point on and started to point out to me that maybe this long-distance relationship isn't working out and wasn't for the best as John seemed to not be very respectful towards me.
After the incident at Christmas - in early January, after a week where John was yet again barely speaking to me, I became frustrated and suggested we call it quits. I blocked him for a month on all my socials and managed to finally go on a few dates with a guy to try and get on with life but then I stupidly unblocked him because I missed him and having someone to talk to. I should point out here that when me and John would agree to be friends and not romantic this was when he would contact me the most. Anytime I pulled away he would talk more, be flirty more and I eventually broke down and said I couldn't just be friends with him as we never started as friends really and it was hard for me to adjust to this.
Shortly after we made up we decided to just be friends but on several occasions these lines were blurred and when I panicked again and tried to pull away - John said he was going to Ireland on a work trip and that I should go and stay with him for two weeks. As usual, he reeled me back in hook, line and sinker.
He cancelled that trip shortly after and at this point I was just feeling really low. Work was starting to stress me out as reviews were coming up and I still wasn't talking to my family members. John then kept growing distant, there were weeks he barely spoke, weeks he was flirty, weeks he was cold and I went through various stages of being on a high as I felt loved to feeling depressed as I felt I was being abandoned. I would confront him constantly about this, he would say he's been a shit friend and that could I please give him another chance.
3 weeks ago John went on a trip to a different part of Australia for work and stopped talking to me again. I'd tried to ring him a few times and all my messages went unanswered for a full week. By this point my work review had happened and I had cried to him on the phone about it and the stress I was under, him going completely silent on me then just made me lose it and I told him I no longer wanted to talk to him again as by this point my mental health was at a complete and utter low. I was a shadow of myself from 3 years prior and my best friend was begging for me to seek a therapist at this point after I'd had a breakdown to her about my situation.
I'm writing to you at what is now 4:45am because I found out the other day that the reason John never messaged me for that whole week is because he was on a trip where he met another girl and is now with her. 3 years completely down the drain. I've been sat the past 3 hours messaging him trying to convey how I feel like I've had 3 years of my life taken from me. I never approached him, he approached me and now 3 years down the line he has just dropped me for another. This isn't the first time this has happened to me either and I'll be honest, as I'm nearing 30 I'm now starting to really wonder if perhaps there is something wrong with me.
It's Johns complete lack of sympathy towards my feelings about this new relationship that hurts too - I thought after 3 years it maybe wouldn't be this easy to just get over me, so I'm sat wondering if I've been a very daft and naïve 27-29 year old and I'm really upset with myself that I didn't act sooner when I originally got my trust issues with him.
So ultimately after several hours of winding myself up and an hour of good ol crying into a pillow, I got out of bed because sleep was clearly not happening tonight and wrote a 4 page letter to the Samaritans to try and get a little help at my lowest point.
My friend was sat on Discord with me as I wrote it and said it would make a good story for this subreddit so there you have it. 3 years ago I let an Australian slide into my DMs that I met on Twitch, I got my heart broken at a time where shit literally hit the fan all around me and tonight it's gotten so bad that I've reached out to a charity for help, what a wild ride.
(I want to point out as well - I contacted this charity as I'm overwhelmed and struggling, I am safe.)
TL;DR - TIFU because 3 years ago I met a guy on Twitch, we lasted the pandemic and now he has another girl
kingferret53: I know this sounds cliché but fuck 'em. Metaphorically, I mean. You deserve much better. Healing takes time but take your time and heal.
broony92: I honestly just needed one person to say this <3 Thank you so much because I honestly thought I've been losing my mind the past year
kingferret53: Nah, you got played. It's natural to try and figure out if it was something you did, where you went wrong, etc.
| 4 | 14.5 | |
1653283613 | 1653283821 | t3_uvt26j | t5_2to41 | 19 | throwaway7232483: TIFU trying to make friends with my neighbors
Just moved into a new neighborhood, neighbor has kids my age. I’m shy at first but also not trying to force him to be my friend.
So I overheard him and some friends talking loudly in the backyard as I let me dog outside. My dog started barking at them so I stayed outside to calm her down but also to ease drop a little.
They sound my age (18 M here) I tried yelling “hey is there anyone over there” against the fence. It went silent for a second or two then they went back to talking. I tried again. Same thing.
I was about To give up but was desperate to make friends so I grabbed one of those small fireballs and rubber banded a post it that said:
Hey,
My name is _____
I just moved in next door. Y’all looking for another friend? I’m kind of shy but open up after a few of these.
And I rubber banded the post-it to the fireball.
Then I threw it over the fence…. Like a dumb ass.
Heard a loud bang of it hitting the patio. Goes silent. I think one of them picks it up but no response. I go to sit down in a chair, dog starts barking again.
Now I’m questioning if they even picked it up.
How bad did I mess up? What if their parents find it before they do? Wtf did I do…
TL;DR Threw alcohol to some neighbors next door with my name on it, I don’t think they picked it up. Their parents might find it.
tygertje: Why didn't you ring the doorbell and introduced yourself like a normal person ?
throwaway7232483: Their parents were probably home and asleep. And when I tried that the mom answered last time but I got to shy to ask about her sons.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1653283601 | 1653348853 | t3_uvt230 | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my child home alone
[deleted]
Aggravating_Bat1786: >I want to preface by saying I don’t regret what I did because I have full confidence in my abilities as a mother and the environmental safety of my child at the time.
>I’ve never felt like I’ve failed my kids more than I have today. I’m trying my best but I feel like my best might not ever be good enough.
Sounds like you have some more thinking to do. Either you regret it or you don't. I have a 4 yo that has the same condition and does the same thing when leaving. I would NEVER leave her alone, even in the safest environment I could think of.
You could have waited for the therapist, then gone. Or thought ahead and ordered cat food. Or had that amazing guy you're seeing get some. You had no legit reason to leave that child, getting cat food was not an emergency.
Scrappyl77: I thought of the guy -- picking up some cat food is a pretty low bar for.*amazing."
Virtual_Limit7343: He wasn’t able to do that due to being at work, but he’s fixed my house and my life on more than one occasion and helps where he can. I can’t trust a man I just started seeing a few months ago to watch them either, I have to be smart still.
Scrappyl77: So I am a social worker and have been really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt throughout this thread. Let me suggest that when CPS comes to your house you have some solutions in mind instead of excuses.
Hopefully you'll be assigned a supportive social worker who will help connect you to additional resources, but if you aren't these responses aren't going to fly.
Virtual_Limit7343: The lady came and interviewed me this morning. She was very kind and supportive and offered services because she saw how much I needed help. I’m not trying to make excuses, I take full responsibility for my actions. I just truly believed there wasn’t a danger for my daughter to get into at home. And the social worker saw that.
| 6 | 4.166667 | |
1653282108 | 1653285079 | t3_uvsoby | t5_2to41 | 3 | toeconsumer9000: TIFU by agreeing to overnights
TIFU by agreeing to overnights.
our schedules are set three weeks in advance, so for at least another two weeks i’m doing two 9 hour overnights in a row. this wouldn’t be so bad, if i could drive, but for trauma related reasons i can’t (i’m working through my problems and taking driving lessons) so i have to rely on busses. i need to take two to get to work, so i have to get up two and a half hours early just to get to work, i can barely sleep in between the shifts because of how long it takes me to get home, and get changed and actually fall asleep.
to top it all off, on sunday’s, the bus doesn’t come for like an hour after my shift finishes so i have to walk through a dodgy part of town in the dark for about twenty minutes just to get to the bus exchange, then wait like ten minuets outside for it to open, and another half an hour for my bus to come, but that bus doesn’t come close to my house so after that i need to walk another 20-30 mins to get home. i’m so tired, but i need the money.
TL;DR: i took on more than i can handle at work and i’m suffering
ambushequine: I know you agreed to it because you’re a hard worker - but that’s also why your boss will understand (should understand) if you discuss this with them. It’s worth the embarrassment (and it is also very courageous) for you to come clean and admit you made a mistake trying to be an amiable employee. Is it possible to at least even have a frank discussion with management? Do you think they might understand and help/change things back?
toeconsumer9000: ive put in to have my hours changed and explained that the busses are a big issue for me, i’m sure they’ll understand, i’ll still have to do at least the next two weeks of this tho because of set schedules
| 3 | 1 | |
1653285114 | 1653339037 | t3_uvtfcj | t5_2to41 | 6,054 | eillibsniknej: TIFU by thinking I FU over a year ago when doing an online purchase only to find out how I really FU today
So I feel stupid and I need to tell someone how dumb I am. Classic I’m on mobile, sorry about the format.
So I was purchasing some posters from an online store well over a year ago now and all was dandy. Went to check out and it turned out they had a promotion where if you spent over a certain amount of money they would send you a free mug. Lucky me!
It all went down when I went to choose the mug colour. I chose a cute black and white design of a t-Rex riding a penny farthing bike with a monocle on and a top hat, he looked very dapper. The outlining was all in black but the background was white. At the end it asked me if I wanted the mug to be black or white. The obvious choice was white, but because on the preview it showed the rest of the mug black but the design still having the black outline on the white background, I went for the black because I’d never had a black mug before and I thought it would look cool!
Fast forward a couple of weeks and it shows up, and boy do I feel dumb. The mug is completely black, only when looking super hard from the right angle can you see the outline of the dinosaur. My god, why couldn’t they have warned me or at least put in the effort in to tell me hey, the whole thing is gonna be black, maybe choose a new design?
I don’t feel like sharing my failure with the rest of the house so this stupidly designed mug has been sitting on my desk as a pencil holder for over a year.
Fast forward to today for the actual TIFU.
After hiding my shame for so long I finally decide enough is enough, i was cleaning out my room and decided I didn’t need a dumb mug as a pencil holder anymore and moved it into the kitchen. Now i have a mug, could really do with a cup of tea, all I need to do is boil some water. Water boiled and for the first time in over a year I use my mug for its intended purpose. As it fills I notice something happening on the side of the cup, I look on in disbelief as the ENTIRE MUG CHANGES FROM BLACK TO WHITE, BEAUTIFULLY SHOWING OFF MY LITTLE T-REX RIDING HIS LITTLE BIKE!
Not in my whole life did I expect my free tag along mug to be one that changes colour with temperature. One of the coolest mugs I’ve ever owned in my life and I’ve been using it as a pencil holder because I thought it was stupid. Turns out just i am stupid…
TLDR: ordered a free mug, thought it came black with a black print, shelved it for a year, used it for the first time to find out it actually changes colour with temperature and is super awesome.
Edit: people are asking for a photo of the mug and I am not tech savvy enough to figure out how to add a photo to a text post in edit, but it will let me add a link so [here’s the cup](https://www.redbubble.com/i/mug/T-Rex-on-a-Penny-Farthing-by-Smaggers/14366381.9Q0AD). Thanks everyone for the awards!
homedepnot: Oh that sucks, the coolest cup I have is one that is black that shows off the northern lights when you pour hot water in. Wouldn’t trade it for the world
eillibsniknej: I think a mug of the northern lights would be more preferred in my house, everyone just asked me why I even bought a mug with a dinosaur on it as an adult. I have literally no good answer
Shogun2049: Just ask them "Who DOESN'T like dinosaurs?".
CoolGuy175: The cast of jurassic park.
dao2: I'm sure they love dinosaurs, they are making them a lot of money.
CoolGuy175: Tell that to the guy in the portable toilet. May he rest in rex.
| 7 | 864.857143 | |
1653284641 | 1653286452 | t3_uvtba2 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking a little too much at work
[deleted]
QuevedoDeMalVino: Hey. Just a comment to your comment about diet. Are you seeing a specialist? I ask because the doc that gave me a diet said it is not good to lose weight fast. I can’t give you a good scientific explanation, but the gist as I understood it is that you need to change your body smoothly so it stays where you want it. Otherwise, as soon as you are off diet, you bounce back.
popstationwatch: It's probably a made up story. No restaurant is going not be like "yeah, let's get you drunk in the middle of work, smash a table and notbsay anything about it"
It's probably a teenager trying to show off
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1653290515 | 1653335945 | t3_uvuobl | t5_2to41 | 38 | ujp567: Tifu by doing a leap of faith
Recently, i’ve been playing the assassins creed games and really enjoying them. Players of these games will know that there is a mechanic called the leap of faith where the playable character leaps from a great height into a bush and takes no damage from it trust me this Will all come into play shortly. I’ve recently gone on holiday to Norfolk we stayed at this lovely villa with a massive garden at the end of the garden is quite A large drop with a lot of squishy plant right at the bottom. My dumbass fresh off of assassins creed odyssey, decides it would be a great idea to recreate that famous scene. Something you need to know about me I have a visual impairment which limits The capabilities of my eyes. I’m not completely blind but I could only see enough to determine that there was plants below me and that they were sufficiently squishy and absorbent. I jumped. Upon landing my mind registered three things in a very quick succession. “ damn that was cool” “ I should do that again” and then finally “aaaaaaaaaaaaah” I have not noticed for reasons previously explained that the squishy absorbent plants were in fact stinging nettles. I was covered in Welts from this bastard plant and my skin was already starting to burn. I quickly ran to Slava cream all over myself but it did nothing. So now I am at home trying not to die and hoping that the pain goes away soon.
TLDR I am not Cassandra.
-QuestionableMeat-: Stinging aside, if you actually did this, you’re pretty cool. But also maybe leave AC turned off for a few days.
ujp567: Thanks mate
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1653293156 | 1653294092 | t3_uvv9ix | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU for trying to do a sex rp
[deleted]
nomada-ds: What is Sex rp? Lol Is role play?
throwaway62768: Yes, it’s a sex role play
nomada-ds: I don’t quite get why he felt awkward, I think it can be fun if you both talked about it before and agreed to play something both like.
| 4 | 0.25 | |
1653294454 | 1653337949 | t3_uvvjdt | t5_2to41 | 36 | Difficult_Fruit_6313: TIFU by saying something I shouldn’t have and losing a good friend
Burner Account
This whole thing spans maybe a year and a half into the past. I have been in contact with an old school mate of mine. We both attended the same schools excluding High School. We’ll refer to her as Alice.
About a year ago, I found myself in contact with her thru instagram talking about video game stuff. Eventually, we settled on playing a couple games of Mortal Kombat to see what each other has in terms of skills.
And this was fun. The time was enjoyable to play against someone decently skilled. The time spent must have been fun enough to for each party that we agreed to do this kinda thing again. This spread to other games across other consoles as well.
Now, it is important to note, the entire time, she was in a relationship with her boyfriend of ≈2 years. This was known to everyone involved. He was in pictures on her profile and vice versa. This did not ever prove to be an issue as it was clear to everyone how she felt about her boyfriend. At some point, maybe a couple of months into me and Alice’s friendship, we get into a discussion of boundaries. Btw, I am 24yrs old and so is Alice. Her Boyfriend is a or two year older that both of us. Okay, back to the point, One day we both talk about how to navigate or friendship going forwards. Nothing significant happened to entice this, it was just a natural progression of our time together. That conversation resulted in us reconfirming our Friendship roots and was a significant moment for both of us to have the same understanding of one another.
So as time goes on, Her and her boyfriend end up in multiple spats in their relationship over various things that would just make this post longer to list out. But everything short of actual physical abuse. He yelled at her when she was trying to express her feeling over their relationship, threatened to stop communicating with her, insists she always trying to cheat, completely stopped talking to her at times for various reason etc. etc. They break up for a month or so and then get back together, just to re-break up again in the next following months. This wasn’t too often but definitely more than seemed necessary. NOW, we are approaching on to the part where IFU.
Apart of the one of the conditions of the first fixing of their relationship at the first break up was that she was to excommunicate me from her life. Since we were such good friends, I had come up in stories she’d must of shared with him. Even though Alice has definitely told him before who I am and what I mean to her(a friend), irregardless, the dude won’t have it anyway. So for the sake of her relationship, Alice cut me off and I went without speaking to her for about 2 months. This was a tough period for me due to both acknowledging that Alice was doing what was best for her relationship and knowing that I did value our friendship.
Out of the blue one morning, I get a call from Alice. She takes the time to inform me that her and the BF were over because of some recent drama between them. In that conversation, we discuss how happy we both were to hear from one another again. We also reaffirm the foundation of our relationship. As Friends.
The next two months, we fall back into what we did before the excommunication, play games, talk on the phone, talk about school, work, and family stuff. Eventually, she invites me out to visit her city. She live the next state over from me so I’d have to catch a flight to be able to visit. I agree because my work schedule was beginning to feel a bit mundane and I could use the change of pace. However, I began to relax myself with her. In meaning to say, I found what was holding her back was the manipulative BF always nagging in her ear about some BS. And, for the record, she knew he was Toxic at times. Turing into someone she did not recognize, but, valiantly continued her time with him because of reason she knew for herself and never truly disclosed to me. All in all, as she explained it too me once upon a time, for all the bad that I see, the BF has his redeemable moments in their relationship that makes up for the times of turmoil and distrust. This was knowledge told me to before the excommunication period. This in my mind, I began to become attracted to the growth of her personality. That’s it. Nothing else. The thing is, Alice always was good partner. She has here own interests, hobbies, and plans in life. In my mind however, I could not see past the point that she voluntarily chooses to interact with her BF whom is who he is. A manipulative person. I found it odd that a women like her could choose to allow another person the treat them in such a way.
The change I began to see in her was interesting. There was a time period for a few days I contemplated what would it be like if me and her were to grow more together. They were invasive thoughts. I knew in my fiber of a being that I could never do anything like that with her. She was my friend, ones of the bro’s, a dude bro ya feel me? Again, I inform myself that I was just having extraneous thoughts. Ideas that flash into your mind if only for a brief second, but you did not necessarily initiate that train of thought in the first place. Kinda like that one scene from Inception by Christoper Nolan. If I told you not to think of an Elephant, what would be the first thing on the forefront of your mind once I stopped speaking? A week or so before I take the trip, we come up with a lose itinerary of stuff to do in her town. And it was set. Some of the places we talked about going to would require certain clothing. Like dress up clothes, a good button up, pants that were not adidas track pants, ya know, the going out stuff. So I made sure to pack accordingly and embarked on my trip.
On day 1, the plans were a bit off and slapdash. Instead of meeting the day after I landed, she had contacted me to meet that day instead and just hang out for a little while. This patterned continued throughout the trip. Most of the places discussed prior were never visited. Instead, a discussion came up about here availability throughout the week and because of that, most of the events and occasions we had talked about weeks prior were canceled. This definitely took me by surprise. I couldn’t draw a conclusion as to why the plans had changed and so soon as of my arrival. Half the outfits I’d brought would go unused as they wouldn’t be needed anymore it seemed and I am not heavy packer. However, after that discussion, I make clear to her that I was a bit disappointed in the change but understood that her schedule could fluctuate in such a way. It was fine because the next day after this conversation was the crème de la crème of the trip. She had recommended she take me to this Arcade near her. This Arcade trip was the catalyst to the trip to begin with in the first place, so inevitably, I had built up a slight expectation of the outing. And the place was totally rad. Two different Time Crisis arcade machines, a Guitar Hero with a short queue line, walls lined with classic box arcade hits from OG Sonic to some murder mystery Clue-esque game and pinball machines ranging from Rick and Morty all the way to a Game of Thrones themed pinball machine too. I know, I was also befuddled at the sight too. The place was great. It was like 5$ for 15 tokens and I spent like ≈50$, so I can not say I didn’t enjoy myself. But, I feel like more importantly, I enjoyed the time I got to spend with my friend. She beat the Highscore on a Pac-Man machine by like 30,000 points and absolutely destroyed one of those Dancing Rhythm games too.
I very much enjoyed my time that afternoon. And here’s where we start to discuss my own personal thought process. Once we were done at the Arcade, I was responsible for driving her to a gas station she told me about near her home so she could get snacks and walk home herself. However, the entire drive back which was about ≈30min, I was conflicted. Quite literally fighting myself. In my own head, and while adhering to road rules of course. Me and Alice have always had open lines of communication. We both could identify when the other was being short on conversation or some detail was skipped over in an explanation of something. We both talked and didn’t really hold back from one another. This is why during the car ride I contemplated just telling Alice as unawkardly as possible “Hey, get this joke. For a little bit, I considered what it be like if we dated LMAO”. And that was like our comedy. Juxtaposition type jokes like that would lead us towards other equally stupid jokes. But we’d laugh. Everytime. But, I don’t know, SOMETHING in my gut was telling myself that it was toooooo sensitive or it’d be even more awkward and kinda kill the mood for this fun Arcade trip. So inevitably, I swallow it. I just decided to STFU, turn up the music a bit and coast her back to where she needed to be. But, of course, as I near the spot to drop her off, the feeling comes back to my chest. “Maybe I just tell her and it’ll be the last joke of the night kinda thing ” I thought to myself. I’m sure it’d be a cool story we could talk about again in the future as we look back to the Arcade night. So last thing I say to her was that I had something funny to tell her but it can wait. I had already parked the car and she was beginning her exit from the vehicle after we had exchanged farewells so I decided to just drop it all together with that “…I’ll tell you later.” line. Remember this point in the story because it come back. Significantly.
OKAY, so that day ends. I go back to my hotel and call it a night after showering to clean a recent tattoo I had obtained. And things were normal. I talked to Alice a bit the next day but nothing crazy. It wasn’t until the next evening, as I was preparing to head out on the town by myself to check out a couple bars or something, idk, that I received a message on Instagram. The sender was Alice’s Ex boyfriend. Long angry letter made short, He basically accused me of trying to steal his girlfriend, mind you the girlfriend that had broken up with him months prior, and choosing to get on a flight to come visit her. Also, Cursed me out and threatened to attack me if he saw me but that part was less worrying for me tbh. The only part that stuck out from his tirade against me was this assumption that he had that I had spontaneously brought plane tickets and came on this trip of my own volition out of the nowhere, period. Where when in truth, I was invited to come visit. Two distinctly different reasons if you were to ask me but I digress.
After reading his poorly typed rough draft of a dm, I get in contact with Alice and inform her as to what has transpired. After that, I don’t hear from her for about 3-4 hours. I wasn’t really worried per say. I knew this was her business and that would take time to resolve or what have you. Eventually, she calls me and TL;DR of this conversation is; Basically she began talking to her Ex again at some point after she’d gotten back in contact with me, and they had had steady correspondence since then as well. Although, she tells me they were just friends again, obviously, he was not on the same page in that regard. The night of the Arcade trip, she had told him I (op) had began to tell her something but stopped myself. And to my knowledge, she had only told him this information after he had questioned her as to where she had been all day, where was she coming from, etc. This is the full circle moment here people. This was the main bulk of his message to me, basically asking what I was gonna tell her and then a couple sentences later declaring he did not care if I told him or not. Between all the cursing and violence talk of course.
So, after I receive that TL;DR of information from Alice, I have me a bit of a laugh. I couldn’t believe the guy would act so deranged. This wouldn’t be the first time this individual had messaged and sadly would not the last either. Either way, I was a bit shocked things had come this far and blown out of proportion. And I knew all this had to be tough on her. One the the conversation we had often was about Pressure. Ya know, work life, school life, social life. All that stuff together builds pressure in one existence and if i had to take a rough estimate of how she would be feeling in a situation like then, it couldn’t have been great.
CONGRATULATIONS READER!!! If you have read this far into the post, we have now arrived at destination: OP’s FU. Full steam, No brakes. All bad. Alrighty, so Alice finishes informing me of what happened after the Ex messaged me, I could tell the mood was low. 200 iq play from me, I decide to tell some jokes to lighten the mood a bit. She was also just sparking up a joint on her end of the phone so I thought my timing was just fine to let some go. Of course I hit bulleyes first throw. I jokingly start discussing how ill formed the Ex could be. I mention that I had no intentions of attempting to “steal” her from there previous relationship. I then dig my hole deeper by implying that if that was the case, I would simply wait until the relationship was over LMAO. And Yes, in hindsight and even me typing this out now, I realize how under handed and shady a comment like that could be interpreted. My tone of voice my have been off or I utterly failed to convey the humorous nature of this comment because she quickly followed up with a “What do you mean by that??” or “Care to elaborate??” Ya know. A response along those lines. I then proceed to close the lid on this metaphorical coffin I have entombed myself within by basically, verbatim, explaining what I had said 3 paragraphs ago. That before she had invited me for the trip, there was a short time period, legit like 2 days, where I lightly thought of what our future could look like. Very open ended people. I didn’t go into details like How, When, calling her beautiful, stuff like that. I didn’t even mean to imply that I did have feelings for her at a time. Just that, at some point, I had done the metaphorical math of what me and her in a relationship would LOOK like. As you can probably tell where this goes, that did not resonate well with her. She asked me a couple a questions and admittedly, I could have taken the time then during her question asking to smooth out my tale and de-hornyify the statement I made. Again, I think my tone of voice or maybe the way I said it was unappealing and offsetting but idk tbh. After a short round a questions she had of me, she then hung up the call after telling me to enjoy the rest of my trip. At that point, I had only 1 day left in that town. But relatively, that’s the end of the story. I tried text her once saying I’d want to talk on the phone again. But she was reluctant too, so I said the last couple words to her trying to explain the situation again, in knowing that I had failed to explain properly the night before but she never responded to those messages. Granted, I don’t blame her. Those texts are still the last words I’ve said to her til this day. These events took place about a or 2 month ago but I have yet to hit a point of recovery. I really fucked up here people. I lost an amazing excellent friend. This feeling is terrible. And I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone undeserved.
TL;DR: Made a great friend. Incorrectly read the room. Lost a great friend.
Boomerwell: I'm gonna be real dog this story has a very strong vibe of you finding a girl on insta and then trying to get with her after she breaks up with her BF.
I don't think I've ever had a girl have to reaffirm her friendship status with a guy multiple times.
Then when you come down you suddenly start to have feelings for her and make a comment like you did and got rejected and alienated from her.
By some metrics the boyfriend seemed to be completely right when he didn't want her to be talking to you.
meowyinn: Totally agree.
It's painfully obvious that she was catching his vibes, which is why there were multiple "We're just friends," convos.
Those conversations don't just 'come up naturally' in the course of friendships; I have never once had to have that kind of talk in a friendship with the opposite sex unless it was clear what they were gunning for and I wasn't comfortable with it.
OP needs to learn to read the room; either that, OP needs to realize they're being a shitty person for going into that friendship with expectations like that.
It's very clear we're only getting half the story and I'm pretty sure if the girl were to respond to this, her version would be very, very different.
Boomerwell: I always feel like I'm being too judgey reading between the lines so I'm glad somebody else can see it.
Notable points that tipped me off are finding a gamer girl on Insta and hitting them up there and the multiple talks about their relationships being just friends. These really set off an alarm of sorts for me to think this way.
Hopefully OP is telling the truth but I find it really hard to believe they weren't gassing up the girl to leave her BF and tryna swoop in after.
hghjjj14: He says they used to go to school together, she wasn't a random person.
But I agree it's weird for them to have had so many, or even just one, discussions about being just friends and nothing else, constantly reaffirming their friendship foundation, etc. I think OP has incorrectly read the room more than once, not just on that phone call.
That said, the girl's ex was probably cheating on her himself.
| 5 | 7.2 | |
1653294785 | 1653295848 | t3_uvvlzl | t5_2to41 | 76 | CherryTomatoGirl: TIFU by eating cherry tomates in front of my ex
Throwaway account because the ex in the story knows my main
For some context:
I love snacking on salty food, but I am trying to make healthier choices so I decided to lay down the chips and switch to cherry tomatoes with salt instead.
I am generally an awkward yet very friendly person. So I keep on getting myself in impossible situations.
I (21 f) was in a relationship with my college classmate (21 m) about two years ago, it was the first relationship either if us had ever been in, and we had a very very intense relationship that ended in serious heartbreak (for me at least). However it is almost impossible to avoid each other as we are in a small school and we have many friends in common.
The student commity was throwing a party in the courtyard of our school celebrate the end of classes. I felt very tired and told everyone I would probably just head home after school. I was on speaking terms with my ex so I think I told him too. I was working on a group project with friends and munching on some cherry tomatoes. However we finished our work a bit earlier than expected so I thought why not go get a beer. The time we had finished most people were already pretty tipsy and enjoying themselves.
I see my best friend sitting in a table with a bunch if people. I run to her and obnoxiously give ger a big hug and kiss on the cheeks. There is no chairs left so I start charting and eating the rest of my tomatoes standing up. Then I realise that my best friend is unexplainably sitting with my ex and his friends. I would have left but I thought that since we are on talking terms I didn't need to and also they were placed strategically next to the only trash can in sight, and I really needed to throw the cardboard box the tomatoes came in once I was done. So I just keep on standing there, eating tomatoes, while the table falls silent. I could of just given some of them away but there were like 5 left for a table of 6 or 7 and also I really wanted to keep them and eat them slowly to enjoy every last piece. I mean they were decently expensive and the first decent batch since last summer. I couldn't just leave and eat them alone cause I would have to come back to the table anyway to throw away the box. Moreover all my other friends had left so this was the only group I could hang out with.
Just as I am about to try to talk and break the deafening silence, I realise that my ex is sitting knee to knee with an other girl. Huh that's weird for someone who hates physical touch I think. I remember suddenly thet I kept on seeing them go get lunch together, always walking with at least 50 cm between them, looking embarrassed. And then I remember he used ti do the same thing to me, and try to hide that we were together. But now that they are a bit drunk they are daring to sit close together. Now I thought that my situation was awkward. But from their point of view, they were enjoying finally being able to hang out at school without always running into an ex, since she said she wasn't going to come to the party, and then she shows up at their table eating cherry tomatoes at a maddeningly slow pace.
I feel my eyes water, as even though it happened quite a while ago, it's still hard to see him with someone. But! The situation is so crippilingly awkward I just jam everything in my mouth, throw the carbox away, and quickly turn away as to hide the tomato juices dripping down my mouth cause I have 3 in my mouth. Then my friend says goodbye, I try not to face her cause I really can't control the tomatoes disaster in my mouth. However now people might think I am crying, and I am not, so I turn super quick, kiss her cheek with my disgusting tomatoe lips and get out as fast as I can.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to avoid them, which was impossible, but I refused to leave either cause now I really was in the mood for a beer. I had to give a faint smile multiple times when I had to approach their table to use the bin.
TL ; DR I stood in front of my ex and his new girlfriend for 10 minutes eating tomatoes, putting too many in my mouth and making a fool of myself in the process.
Calbinan: This is why I just eat chips.
CherryTomatoGirl: Yeah, I at least couldn't have leaked chips out of my mouth...
| 3 | 25.333333 | |
1653297964 | 1653299722 | t3_uvwah6 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to clear my browser bookmarks when getting my laptop fixed
[deleted]
Even-Conclusion597: Why would your friend be some dramatic about you watching porn? Who cares bro , most people do.
OMGoblin: Probably watching distasteful stuff
| 3 | 1 | |
1653300117 | 1653319282 | t3_uvwrd0 | t5_2to41 | 47 | Geraltspeach: TIFU by telling the guy that I like about my messed up dream
So l am currently seeing this guy. We go out almost every day now and I might have a little crush on him and I think he might have one too. We always joke
around and sometimes I make weird jokes and he tells me I'm a psycho just for fun tho. So yesterday we went out again and for some reason I thought it
was a good idea to tell him about the dream I had. (He told me about his dream too so I figured why
not) But the dream was really messed up. I don't know how graphic I can be on here. It had to do with a kid murdering random people and then doing
something even more horrible to them which involved a pig. (very traumatizing indeed) And as soon as I finished my story I looked at him and saw the way he looked at me. The disgust and then everything went quiet. I think I really messed this up. Things were weird after it and I don't think we can recover from that. So yeah :) Don't tell people about
your dreams.
TL;DR I told my crush about my messed up dream and now he won’t talk to me anymore
Capable-Site-301: I'm curious what happened with the pig. Did it eat the corpses? Did it roll around in them like in mud? Did it commit necrophilia?
You can be as graphic as you want here.
Geraltspeach: Noo the kid that killed those people would cut off the arms, legs and heads of their victims and then sew on those of a pig. Like he replaced them. In my dream it was very detailed.
Capable-Site-301: Ah, ok. That's not so bad. Did you watch Game Of Thrones, by any chance? Maybe you subconscious was remembering the scene where they cut off Rob Stark's head and sewed on the head of his wolf, but just changed it to a pig in your dream.
Geraltspeach: I did watch GoT but that was like years ago and I don’t even really remember that scene
But I guess maybe, at least there would be an explanation for this fuckery
Capable-Site-301: It's not fuckery. The subconscious is a weird thing and you're not responsible for what you dream. I've had some pretty fucked up dreams myself, and my friends have shared some of their fucked up dreams with me, so I imagine it's a pretty common thing.
Believe me when I say a murder spree followed by dismembering and sewing pig body parts onto the corpses is nowhere near as depraved as the subconscious can get.
Don't let it get to you. You're not weird or a psycho or anything like that. You just have an imaginative, active subconscious that went to a petty morbid place in this instance.
Geraltspeach: You are very nice, thank you so much
| 7 | 6.714286 | |
1653301930 | 1653397173 | t3_uvx76f | t5_2to41 | 11,861 | TheULTmATEroloor: TIFU by going on a date with a crazy catfish and not bailing
This girl and I met on Instagram, in the pictures she had sent, she looked very much my kind and I enjoyed the conversations with her so I thought to ask her out. We decided to go to the movies. Now, this is where all my problems began.
I'm on the phone with her trying to figure out where she is when she says "Oh look behind you I can see you". I turn around, and god behold, I see someone COMPLETELY different from the pictures she had sent. In the photos, she looked about 5'6", very pretty face and a nice body. What I saw was a 4'4" extremely overweight girl that looked completely different from what I had seen. Now at first, I was a bit weirded out, but I thought "Oh well, it's not all about looks" and continued the date without calling it out as I had enjoyed our conversations prior (a huge mistake in hindsight).
We go off to book our tickets, find our seats and settle. So now the movie is about to start and she hasn't said a word so I want to start some sort of conversation with her, but every time I try to say anything I instantly get shot down because she's "busy chatting with her friends". Fine I thought, let's wait till the movie starts. The movie begins and I try to move a little bit closer to her but she keeps moving away, so I just let it go. She then turns around and says something about the movie which I can't remember, but a remark has to be made. This girl has never brushed her teeth, and I mean NEVER. Her breath absolutely stank, I couldn't even look in her general direction while she was speaking. But this wasn't even the problem.
A bit into the movie, this girl tells me she wants to say anything... now what she told me next absolutely shocked me. She says that she's been doing something called "shifting" where she "transfers her consciousness into another reality" and "lives her life with other people".. and currently in her "other reality", she's dating a "marvel character that she's deeply in love with and has been since she's 10"...
Now at this point, the blood is rushing to my head, I have so many questions. Why did she agree to go on a date if she's already dating someone in her "different reality". Why did she never bring this up? And the biggest thought of all... is this girl insane? I'm very off-put now and just lean the other direction and try to watch the movie while not seeming very upset, keep in mind I just got rejected by this catfish because "she's dating a marvel character in a different reality..." I just want to finish this stupid date and leave.
When the movie is finally over, I try to explain that I'm going to leave, but she says she's really hungry and wants to go for a bite. We go to a wings place, and she orders about 5 portions of wings (I just want to leave at this point so I don't order anything). While we're waiting for her food, I ask her about her whole "shifting" thing. What she said next made me even more furious.
She says that she's been into "shifting" for two years and that she's "deeply in love with this marvel character". So I think that maybe she's actually able to somehow do this, and if so I ask her how often she does it. THIS GIRL TELLS ME THAT IN THE LAST 2 YEARS, SHE'S ONLY MANAGED TO DO IT ONCE. YES ONCE. She had a 1-hour dream about a marvel character, and now she apparently is dating him and loves him, and that's why she doesn't want me to get near her. This girl must be absolutely insane. But what happened next was the final straw.
I didn't mention it yet but throughout the entire "date" she's had a very bad cough, and I kept thinking maybe she's just asthmatic or something. So I ask her. She replies "Oh, no I just have COVID"... WHAT?????? YOU'RE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW? Unfortunately, it was too late for me to leave. I try to lean back and stay away from her to not catch her COVID, and the moment she is done eating I thank her for the date, pay for the food and jolt out of there.
TL;DR: I stayed throughout this excruciatingly terrible date despite all the red flags, one being that the girl looked nothing like the photos and two that she was already dating a marvel character in an alternate reality, where she's been practicing "shifting" into this alternate reality for 2 years but has only managed to do it once, yet she's deeply in love with this marvel character, and she wouldn't let me get near her because it feels like cheating. And finally, she had COVID and didn't think it was a good idea to mention it.
nalanajo: Why the fuck did you stick around AND pay for her food? I would have walked out of the movie. Nice has its limits.
TheULTmATEroloor: Yep, I'm too nice and fucked up big time
Timeon: Honest advice from someone who learned the hard way in life in general - sometimes you think you're being nice but in reality you might just be choosing the path of least resistance to avoid conflict. And in that case you're doing nobody a favour least of all yourself. There's morality in being honest - not rude, just direct (and as diplomatic as needed).
the_passengerX: I’m still confused about how going on an hours-long date with somebody and buying them dinner is the path of least resistance. Wouldn’t immediately just getting up and walking away be way easier and involve significantly less effort? I think OP really is just too nice for his own good
Timeon: I'd still describe it as fear in that case - fear of being seen as rude. I know it sounds strange, but that's what it feels like. OP can correct me if I am wrong.
the_passengerX: You didn’t really describe it as fear in your comment though. You called it “choosing the path of least resistance to avoid conflict”, which is different. But I really don’t see how going on a long, excruciating date is choosing the path of least resistance. That would be getting up and hauling ass. I definitely think OP is just way too nice and accommodating for his own good
jsamurai2: Going along with the date to save social face by not being ‘rude’ and being the ‘good guy’, and then talking shit about the girl online afterwards isn’t something a genuinely good person would do. Life lesson I guess, I don’t feel bad for OP at all.
DJOldskool: As a person with empathy, I feel bad for both of them.
jsamurai2: Feeling bad for someone would be sympathy would it not? Empathy would be understanding their feelings and situation, which is different. You can have one without the other!
| 10 | 1,186.1 | |
1653303296 | 1653303946 | t3_uvxiug | t5_2to41 | 10 | Demot0r: TIFU by giving myself Iodine poisoning
A few weeks ago me and my girlfriend craved some Japanese ramen and decided to treat ourselves to it at a new local restaurant. I get the spicy pork belly ramen and my girlfriend gets the same without the spice . Having finished my bowl and still being hungry I decide to get a noodle refill ( which also comes with some extra toppings) , while my girlfriend barely manages to finish half of her ramen . I gently offer to finish it for her ( I hate to waste food ) and she agrees. I finish the food , we ask for the check and go home satisfied. Fast forward to the next day I have the worst stomach pain I felt in my entire life , coupled with puking and feeling weak . Everything coming out of me is of a sickly green color , as is my complexion . I call my girlfriend and ask her if she’s okay and she tells me she’s feeling perfect . Then it hits me … every bowl of ramen came with 4 sheets of nori seaweed , and me liking a crunchy texture I asked the waiter for an extra pack ( 8 sheets ) and the refill had 4 extra sheets of nori . So essentially I ate the equivalent of 5 servings of dried seaweed , and looking online one serving has the safe amount of iodine the body can process and by eating so much I basically gave myself the worst 3 days of my life . After the three days I was so dehydrated that I Iost 2 kg of bodyweight.
tl;dr ate some spicy ramen with 5 servings of nori seaweed and gave myself a 3 day iodine based food poisoning
OldBoySleezyP: God damn, from seaweed? I love those as snacks, the ones that come in packages at Costco. You think same effect could happen if you ate more than a package? Hope you feel better OP, that sounds horrible.
Demot0r: Never taking that risk ever again , you never know
OldBoySleezyP: Did the restaurant have a specific type they used? How big of sheets? Genuinely concerned since I can eat more than a pack in a sitting. I had no idea about iodine poisoning from nori.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1653303076 | 1653310200 | t3_uvxgya | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU By not getting wedding insurance
[deleted]
twotall88: Huh, you learn about a new idiotic type of insurance every year it seems.
casualsax: Event insurance isn't dumb. People can barely afford to throw the weddings they do, nevermind deal with the added costs of rescheduling last minute. Weddings can cost more than a car.
Add on all of the stress around the event that's built in, if you could take a couple worries away why wouldn't you?
twotall88: You didn't provide any information that refutes what I said. Spending that much on a wedding is idiotic to most people.
I spent like $5,000 on a wedding with like 30 guests and that includes my wife's dress. It was a grand affair.
casualsax: Sounds like your problem is with expensive weddings, not insurance.
twotall88: No, the problem is twofold. Expensive weddings are asinine and insuring everything down to your pet hamsters is asinine.
casualsax: It's nice that you had the inexpensive wedding you wanted, but if you're mad at people for how they spend their money you'll be yelling all day. If anything be mad about people having weddings they can't afford.
twofortrying: Are you so fragile that you have to block someone for calling a practice asinine? Dude isn't mad at people. He's just calling the practice of expensive weddings and event/wedding insurance asinine.
| 8 | 1.875 | |
1653305960 | 1653310539 | t3_uvy809 | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my ass hair
[deleted]
LeaMonster: You're a good writer!
Accomplished_Fan6313: But a very bad wiper.
| 3 | 7.666667 |
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