start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1355620732 | 1355698270 | null | t5_2to41 | 263 | ZeldaTheAnglerfish: TIFU by messaging a hot professor on OKCupid
I'm a graduate student.
His profile said he was doing research in my department, and I, for reasons incomprehensible to me, assumed he was a postdoc. I sent him a mildly flirty message, then I looked at the link to his research page, which he included in ... | 6 | 43.833333 | |
1355615131 | 1355702258 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | Berg426: TIFU by missing my final and torpedoing my GPA
Okay so I'm in the National Guard and I'm in school full time. I'm taking an online course and I couldn't make it to my midterm because I had drill. So my teacher allows me to take the midterm online through blackboard. Awesome. The entire course is 2 exams and 2 ... | 6 | 13.166667 | |
1355665793 | 1355708462 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | girlwiththe1uptattoo: TIFU but running into the treadmill.
So i was napping on the couch and i jumped up quickly and i bashed my face against the treadmill. cut my lip pretty deep on the inside, but the bruising looks almost like a marker stain or dirt.
my coworkers tell me from a far it looks like i have a mustache
... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1355673389 | 1355697402 | null | t5_2to41 | 210 | chesney0: TIFU by vometing over a hot girl I was chatting up
So I was out with a few friends in out the town at a bar. I noticed this girl looking at me when I was walking out to the toilet.
I decided when I came back I would go to the bar where she was and try to start a conversation. We hit it off pretty well. She w... | 8 | 26.25 | |
1355678580 | 1355726912 | null | t5_2to41 | 92 | doydoy: TIFU by talking about the "Death Erection"
Not actually today, but I forgot to submit when this actually happened.
After reading about the [Death Erection](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection) I decided to share the phenomenon with my colleagues. One of them is rather new, but seems to fit in well and ... | 3 | 30.666667 | |
1355682448 | 1355683766 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | StevieMcSteveSteve: TIFU and left my shoes outside in the rain, and then agreed to come into work
I left my shoes outside last night, like a usually do when I stop by and drink at a friends boat. It rained all morning and now their completely soaked. I also agreed to come into work today, without knowing my shoes were ... | 3 | 3 | |
1355685112 | 1356323775 | null | t5_2to41 | 283 | Genesis557: TIFU by opening a can of sprite.
A little background first. I work for a builder who builds houses in several subdivisions, each one having a "sales center" or example home really. My job is to show off these homes, which means I sit alone at an empty house and when people walk in I show them around and try... | 7 | 40.428571 | |
1355691202 | 1355713495 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking to mates about sleeping with cousins whilst my crush was sitting next to me.
It wasn't intentional.
Needless to say she was disgusted by this.
CrazyMonkeySlapper: Could've been worse, at least you didn't shit yourself.
halo00to14: Twist! He shat himself then slept with his cousins!
darthelmo... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1355709228 | 1355912812 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | jokes_on_you90: TIFU by backing my car into a brand new 2013 Freightliner Cascadia that belongs to Walmart.
The truck wasn't even put into service yet. Estimated damage to the truck: upwards of $3000 for the parts alone, another $1000 to $1500 for labor.
Esoteric787: hows that possible?
whatIwasntlistening: If the car... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1355710186 | 1355799214 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | honeyhair: TIFU by getting blackout drunk with my coworkers
Using my throwaway for oggling dudes because a lot of the people involved know my primary username.
Backstory: I am one of two girls in a group of ten people. We are in grad school, so everyone is pretty much the same age (between 23 and 30). I broke up with ... | 20 | 2 | |
1355715146 | 1356233781 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,079 | detap_rettiwt: TIFU by crying in a display canoe
Boyfriend recently broke up with me, and while doing some Christmas shopping today at a sporting goods store, saw something I thought he'd want. Then I remembered we broke up and started crying like girls do. Found a display canoe and sat in it, cried some more, had a ... | 6 | 179.833333 | |
1355745946 | 1355799212 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | Jgib5328: TIFU by completely ruining one of the best days I've had in a long time, damaging two friendships and completely damaging two really good potential ones.. and making an idiot of myself.
So I have not had very much luck with Santa Cons. Last year I almost died, like I shouldn't be on this earth right now (almo... | 7 | 6.714286 | |
1355729018 | 1355773942 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | Esoteric787: TIFU by lending a car to a friend
transmission is fucked and hes nowhere to be seen.
DeltaOrionis: That sucks. Was it a good friend or some guy you knew for three weeks?
Esoteric787: I knew him for about 10 years, Im not the only one he burned. My friend told me he stiffed someone for 4 grand and thats t... | 6 | 3 | |
1355749234 | 1355854110 | null | t5_2to41 | 385 | notfork: TIFU by giving my self a facial in front of my crush.
so things started like any other day then halfway threw my shift i get a text from the girl i have a mega crush on she wants to hang out so I am like fucking sweet.
Get to her place and we put on a movie then we get a little drunk and a lot high.
well t... | 10 | 38.5 | |
1355786349 | 1356587153 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | nbsaibot: TIFU by accidently saying a joke about the shooting in connecticut...
The joke ended up not being funny at all, but just plainhearted. I was picking my friend up from his house early in the morning. He lives near an elementary, and after i pick him up, i see a lot of traffic to the school, so stupidly i said ... | 6 | 7.833333 | |
1355788735 | 1355895779 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking on on my room mate and his GF
I got some awesome socks for Christmas (I know, early, I'm horrible). I got home around 2pm saw my mates door slightly ajar and that the light was on. This is his default position, his natural habitat. So I knocked, intending to show him my sexy socks. He said ye... | 4 | 6 | |
1355791321 | 1355826188 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | Noah_Skye: TIFU by giving charity a snot covered dollar.
I was walking out of Meijer without a shopping cart because for some reason people are still holiday shopping, and all of them were taken by soccer moms and single dads. Because of this, both my arms were slightly raised and bent into a hug shape with plastic bag... | 4 | 17.5 | |
1355803763 | 1355866348 | null | t5_2to41 | 787 | runrabbitrun6: TIFU by being a nice guy and helping my coworker, I was repaid by getting shit on.
I am a Certified Nurse's Assistant at a hospital. It was the end of my 12 hour shift I was done and ready to go home. My coworker still had to give report to her replacement. One of her call lights goes off, I answered i... | 6 | 131.166667 | |
1355805712 | 1355979376 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: (The other day)IFU by getting everybody in my 4th period so angry that I have been put on a prayer list at a church by making a single (and IMO funny) joke.
The teacher in my class was getting mad because all that anybody had donated for this unfortunate kid was $10 (which came from me). Nobody was saying a... | 6 | 3 | |
1355837167 | 1355955957 | null | t5_2to41 | 267 | enjoi928: TIFU by poopin so long at work that the motion activated lights turned off....and then someone came in.
After sleeping at friend's house with filthy toilet, i got to work extra early to take a relaxing dump and get in a few moves of words with friends ( yea i still play it, fuck scramble). It was so early th... | 5 | 53.4 | |
1355843097 | 1356022689 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by jerking off into a sock.
So today i woke up with a very nice morning wood. Instead of letting it go to waste i whip out my laptop and whip out myself and have at it. As i am about to finish i reach down and grab a sock from the floor and slide it over my penis to get maximum pleasure. I finish in the... | 6 | 7.166667 | |
1355847373 | 1396686003 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,652 | 23_: TIFU by vomiting on a dead body.
My grandad died on friday and today I went to see him for the first time. I drank too much last night and I'm feeling rather fragile today. An unbearable hangover mixed with overwhelming sadness was too much for my poor little stomach evidently and now my deceased grandfather is co... | 14 | 260.857143 | |
1355853629 | 1355862510 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Smasherrr: TIFU by getting too drunk/high to realize this girl was trying to have sex with me and decided to reddit instead
Actually the other night but whatever. I was properly drunk and extremely high at my friends house when we go outside to smoke a cigarette, his neighbor comes out also to smoke a cigarette. Me and... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1355859314 | 1356109094 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | indrora: TIFU by scratching my face
Yesteraday I went into the dentist to get some work done on a tooth I fucked up. Two rounds of anesthesia later, half my jaw is out and I'm going home. Somehow, my troll of a brain decides to inform me that there is a spot on my chin which has the need to itch. So I scratch it. and s... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1355864338 | 1356031846 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | throwitaway4569: TIFU I paid for part of a customers purchase out of my own pocket
Warning: Long and might not make sense if you've never worked retail.
So, I technically did this at work last night, but I was too upset at myself to post about it. I work in a cell phone store for a major Canadian cell provider. The... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1355876279 | 1355981835 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | run_animal_run: TIFU by showing the whole class a porn site
Well well, today's subject of my contemporary arts class was internet art and I had the spontaneous notion to show [notpr0n](http://www.notpron.org/notpron/de/leveleins.htm) (in case you don't know it: it's a brilliant detective-like internet game). Unfortunat... | 4 | 13 | |
1355873665 | 1355937200 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU I rear-ended a Limo in Akron and inside was a CEO of a major tech company :/
it was so embarrassing! The CEO of Windstream in Akron Ohio. My insurance is going up for sure...
http://oi46.tinypic.com/28so9c4.jpg
munzarelli: How did you know who he was? Did he tell you?
Cairnwyn: Dude, you don't know th... | 3 | 8 | |
1355879800 | 1355981834 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Taciturn_desultory: TIFU trimming my eyebrows.
I was trying to realign my, slowly growing back, eyebrow and knocked my mirror, effectively shaving off about half my eyebrow and I have a date this afternoon.
Kill me now.
Edit: So the date went better than expected and she found the eyebrow pretty funny. Good thing I t... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1355888467 | 1355894042 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Airob: TIFU by scratching my nose.
So i had some small blackheads on my nose and i was dying to pop them out. Gladly i start to get the job done making pressure with my fingernails. I then accidentally rip a bit of skin off my nose due to applying to much pressure (pain didnt stop me, i was decided to get those things ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1355904622 | 1356010171 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | mammering_joker: TIFU by getting kicked out of college.
I slacked this last semester and failed 3 out of 4 classes, and have to drop a semester and apply for readmission. I have no idea how to tell my parents who think I'm going to college next semester.
avalanche21: Me too. Sorry bro.
mammering_joker: Yeah, it sucks. ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1355904153 | 1355944783 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU By Making A Vietnam Vet Cry.
I am probably the next candidate for the Darwin Award. Or at least in the running for World's Biggest Idiot. Seriously.
It started out innocently enough. Took my son to Starbucks, to kill some time before picking up my daughter, whose Bell Choir was giving a concert for one... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1355929522 | 1356307530 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | nmkitty: TIFU by dropping my boyfriend's Harley in front of Harley enthusiasts.
The bike wouldn't start, so some guys from the repair shop came to pick it up. Of course my boyfriend had to be at work, and it was my day off, so I had to be there to help and give them the keys and all that. They had ME sit on the bike t... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1355943647 | 1356038232 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,674 | salsa_sauce: TIFU by calling 45,000 people "Kevin"
I run an internet marketing business. Work has been going a little slow recently, but we are doing OK at the moment.
We have a guy who works for us who's job it usually is to prepare outbound emails for clients to send to their mailing lists. He was off sick, so I cov... | 10 | 167.4 | |
1355948700 | 1356052446 | null | t5_2to41 | 142 | Yester_Years: TIFU by putting $1,500 toward my water bill.
I was paying my water bill online today. It was $14.32, so I enter my debit card info, and go to enter $15.00. Little did I know, I didn't hit the '.' and I confirmed the payment. 5 minutes later I get an email to my phone from my bank telling me I'm over draw... | 8 | 17.75 | |
1355950594 | 1356019911 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | throwwwfraud: TIFU by lying to my insuance agent..
I was signing up for life insurance to get a discount on my auto insurance and I told them I wasn't a smoker, even though I smoke a pack a day. Now I have a blood test coming up in a week. I totally fucked up.
liesitellmykids: Call them back and tell them that you are ... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1355956865 | 1356021220 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by attempting to clean my dishes
My wife and I discovered our dishes were COVERED in this waxy white residue, which a little googling suggested to be silicate from the dish detergent. More googling, and the solution seemed to be rinsing them down with a wash cloth and vinegar. A quick test - it worked! ... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1355959197 | 1356392099 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | xXD347HXx: TIFU by trying to jump over a low hung chain.
Long story short, tripped and fell face first into concrete in front of a huge crowd of people and sprained my left wrist.
Everyone asked if I was alright (and most people just laughed their asses off). I'm still pretty damn embarrassed about it and when it repla... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1355946239 | 1356015152 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by making coffee with no carafe in the machine
I set up the coffee machine every night before going to bed, I get up really early so having it start on a timer and ready when I get to the kitchen is vital. Right now my mother in law is in town, so I set up a full pot of coffee and hit the timer button.... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1355965117 | 1356881284 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | TheBigSoup: TIFU Opening a door.
Today I got up, and went to open my bedroom door. I swung it open and it got caught on my big toe (which started bleeding) then bounced back and hit me in the side of the face.
SwoopsFromAbove: Lots of door problems here:
My girlfriend has major issues with doors, like at least once a ... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1355988852 | 1355995075 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU and made myself look like a jackass in front of my ex and her friend.
We just broke up about 19 days ago and I saw her for the first time in 2 weeks at a bar. Instead of being cool and saying hi, I went up and lingered at their table.
Instead of just going back to my seat and sitting with my boys who I... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1355993097 | 1356109593 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | ranalaper: TIFU by sitting down too fast before readjusting.
I sat on one of my balls and it feels like I've been wang slapped.
Odilism: After reading this comment, i actually tried to sit down on my balls. Tryed it some times, and I can say: it is impossible. Unless they are hanging really really low. So I assume, in ... | 6 | 12 | |
1355970247 | 1356032288 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | llammahed: TIFU By Forgetting Everyone's Christmas Gift
My wife and I are making gifts for everyone this year. It's a cool 9x12 piece of wood with an image transposed on it using a neat method of applying clear acrylic to the board, placing a printed paper face down, letting it dry, then use water to rub off the paper ... | 3 | 6 | |
1356012159 | 1356111228 | null | t5_2to41 | 610 | zhongfu: TIFU by shutting down an airport's wireless hotspot
I was at said airport and found a cool app that could deny access to people on WiFi networks. Wanted to try it but accidentally redirected everybody to my phone and then to Google.
People currently surfing were brought to www.google.com (for example, http:/... | 15 | 40.666667 | |
1356013665 | 1356074378 | null | t5_2to41 | 185 | kimchi_with_rice: TIFU: I lightly shit myself while cleaning cum out of my asshole.
Boyfriend and I recently got tested so as a celebration for being clean, we had long night of condom free sexytimes.
Once it's morning I still feel very sweaty and overall dirty so I quickly step into the shower. It's all going fine,... | 7 | 26.428571 | |
1356017454 | 1356101697 | null | t5_2to41 | 87 | dinosaurbarista: TIFU drinking two energy drinks, had overdose effect
So I weaned myself off of caffeine couple month ago I was a heavy heavy caffeine addict, it happens when you work at a coffee shop.
Yesterday morning I just could not wake up so I decided to get couple energy drinks as they were on sale, TERRIBLE i... | 6 | 14.5 | |
1356024793 | 1356045939 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by slicing my finger open.
I was working on my truck in the autozone parking lot and tried to muscle a bolt. Well hand slipped and hit a peace of metal which basically filleted a quarter size chunk of skin on the top of my thumb. At first I thought it was little cut but when it started pouring blood I k... | 3 | 6 | |
1356032677 | 1356318269 | null | t5_2to41 | 382 | [deleted]: TIFU by opening my big mouth
So i went to the high school and saw the class slut picking on someone with apsergers and teasing him. After getting fed up with her shit i shouted at the top of my lungs "Leave the kid alone, at least he is trying to do something and get good grades unlike you cheating off his s... | 13 | 29.384615 | |
1355993366 | 1356468717 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by burning my arm on my laptop.
I'd always hope my username would never be relevant, sadly my worst fears were realized today when my laptop, my own machine that I invested so much time and love into, betrayed me. Like many people I bought the THQ bundle. My favorite game on the bundle is Saints Row The... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1356048237 | 1356051955 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | phiz36: Sent post coitus text to the wrong girl.
Wiggleman: Ive said doesn't matter had sex before. But....
*doesn't matter had sex*
phiz36: Fuck it and move on?
| 3 | 1 | |
1356051508 | 1356132728 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | [deleted]: TIFU By Shitting My Pants
No throwaway for me. I roll hard.
Some backstory before we get too involved. I am a larger gentleman at the ripe ol' age of twenty-four. I have been trying to eat healthier by eating just a salad for lunch everyday. This is the first week of such an endeavor. I must also add ... | 5 | 16.8 | |
1356055421 | 1356071537 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | cathartic_epiphany: TIFU by trying to be kind to a sad elderly lady.
I was at the mall earlier today, finishing up this year's Christmas shopping. When I walked passed the carousel, I noticed an elderly lady running the counter and attempting to keep a smile on as she briefly engaged with each child. Her glasses helped... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1356069321 | 1356120977 | null | t5_2to41 | 457 | joshuad80: TIFU and almost killed (seriously) my wife during foreplay (NSFW story?)
We tend to get a bit rough and wrestle when we're getting it on. We had just cleared the bed and I climbed up on my side and said 'come to me.' She replied with 'no, you come to me', and I complied, but went all the way to the edge so ... | 6 | 76.166667 | |
1356070184 | 1356136186 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | Locrian_DM: TIFU by mixing monoxodil and caffeine.
Ok, this actually happened about 6 years ago, but it's a good story to spread around, as it may actually save a life.
I was an energy drink junkie, and I worked LONG shifts at a gas station. Like 14 hour days, some times 7 days a week. I would do 2 or 3 per shift, s... | 4 | 19.5 | |
1356068044 | 1356229659 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,069 | JohnEGeostigma: TIFU by killing a squirrel with a cork.
Okay, I know this sounds bad, but it wasn't on purpose. I had a bottle of a drink that's similar to champagne, but for kids. It's just like really fancy sparkling juice. And like champagne, it is INCREDIBLY carbonated. I was opening it on my porch just for shits a... | 17 | 62.882353 | |
1356042049 | 1356104298 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught urinating all over a client's floor.
So I do tech work, and was in the field at a customers location. I must preface this by saying that this particular site manager is not too fond of me due to her being older, extremely tech illiterate, and seems to think we have no idea what we're ... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1356104167 | 1356669672 | null | t5_2to41 | 612 | [deleted]: TIFU because I fell asleep in my office chair fapping.
I hadn't eaten much at all, was having a couple beers waiting for my wife to come home with dinner. It had been a long work day so beer+tired+internet... I figured I had some time before her return. Here is an example of the texts I woke up to this morn.... | 10 | 61.2 | |
1356115738 | 1356135670 | null | t5_2to41 | 108 | kittypuuuurry: TIFU by finding myself accidentally in the middle of a funeral procession.
Okay, so, my family was displaced during hurricane Sandy, and in order to keep my younger brothers in their schools my mom has been staying at my place which is close enough to my brothers' schools. We've been dropping them off a... | 6 | 18 | |
1356120785 | 1356353517 | null | t5_2to41 | 371 | Chop_Hard: TIFU By getting on Omegle in the living room
I was browsing 4chan when we decided to play a game involving hunting zombies on Omegle.
I was minding my own business killing shit when I came across a lonely male masterbating.
Not really out of the ordinary but the timing was impeccable. My mom decided to sta... | 8 | 46.375 | |
1356126864 | 1356190450 | null | t5_2to41 | 336 | markwarren_18: TIFU by pretending to start a school shooting
So today was the last day of school before vacation. In my second to last period class, we all did a secret santa. I received a nerf gun, and i was excited to live out my inner child.
In my last class, a bunch of us were hanging out in the choir room, s... | 8 | 42 | |
1356134709 | 1356301058 | null | t5_2to41 | 234 | bigDean636: TIFU by implying to a waiter that my girlfriend gives good oral sex
My girlfriend and I had lunch at a restaurant. She ordered a shake and when he brought it, it had a cherry on top. I asked the waiter if they had any cherries with the stem still attached. He said no, and I told him that she could tie a che... | 6 | 39 | |
1356113729 | 1356144574 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by going snowboarding
So I had planed a trip with my friends of mine to go snowboarding today. Thought it would be a nice "end of the world" thing to do so I invited some friends and my ex. I've been trying to patching things up with her so i invited her to come and she has a truck so she offered to dri... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1356142993 | 1356290835 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught by my mom watching a random guy jerking off.
So my friend and I stumbled upon this website called Chaturbate. It's exactly what it sounds like. The chatrooms are hosted by one person with their webcam on, usually naked. My friend and I like to mess around with these people or "troll" t... | 4 | 21 | |
1356152279 | 1356432861 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | maxxer77: TIFU by making a child piss his pants.
I haven't felt this awful in some time...listen to my shame:
So I'm enjoying a nice, early Christmas vacation at Disneyland in Anaheim, CA with my lovely girlfriend. After browsing Facebook while waiting in line, my girlfriend and I discover we have some friends in the ... | 5 | 6 | |
1356151664 | 1356183833 | null | t5_2to41 | 658 | [deleted]: TIFU by being busted for streaking... a year later... in front of an entire party.
ONE YEAR AGO
It was your typical tequila Thursday. My friend lives in the same apartment complex as his girlfriend, so we went over there to nail back some José before going out. Blackout. Wake up on my friend's couch. Naked.... | 6 | 109.666667 | |
1356154105 | 1356177774 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | godless_communism: TIFU with the help of a phone, laptop, firefox, thunderbird, Internet Explorer, Windows XP and a retarded mother.
I'm driving home this evening from buying Xmas gifts. I'm exhausted. My dumb-as-rocks mom calls. "Oh, are you home? I hear an echo."
"No. I'm driving. Hi Mom."
"Can I talk while... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1356157449 | 1356266958 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | amirio2: TIFU and left a open can of soda under my bed.
So being the genius I am, I had opened a can of soda before I left for school and hid it under my bed (Not supposed to have soda in the house). I returned home and was thirsty so I thought id go have a sip of my soda. I reached for the can grabbed it and released ... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1356166862 | 1356644403 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | wolfgangjt: TIFU a chance to get a hot girl's number
Well I was at a concert (veil of maya/Volumes) today and decided to step away for a bit during a band I was not too fond of. While standing, a really cute girl comes up and starts talking to me. I have NO IDEA who she is, and we get to talking and everything is great... | 3 | 4 | |
1356185417 | 1356580321 | null | t5_2to41 | 174 | Angiologie: TIFU by leaving my vibrator on the bathroom counter.
So, basically I'm a lonely woman who can't get any dick so I have to do what I have to do. Last night I had some urges while taking a shower so I figured, "why not?" Fast forward to this morning. I forgot my aunt had to come over to pick something up. I ... | 7 | 24.857143 | |
1356164334 | 1356475028 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | raulaka13: TIFU by dishonoring a dead person
so i went to my friends house today,. i was sitting in the living room waiting for my friend and i saw a bowl of fruits sitting by the tv, i decided to grab an apple, it was good i guess, so i decided to grab and eat another one. I didnt realize at the moment, my friends mom... | 10 | 0.8 | |
1356200903 | 1356255307 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,100 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating with Vicks VapoRub
I woke up with some spectacular morning wood and a fleeting dream of the sexy variety. I decided to finish the dream and fap. Unfortunately my lazy ass didn't want to get out of bed and I saw the jar of Vicks on my nightstand (just got over a cold). I said fuck it and ... | 8 | 137.5 | |
1356159703 | 1356224204 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | zhongfu: TIFU by dropping my laptop.
(this happened a while ago, just wanted to share this)
Brought bag to class from library but didn't zip up bag. Douchebag person removed chair so I left my bag on the table and found a chair. Suddenly, bag fell over and laptop slid out. Luckily my $35 (Microsoft) mouse took most of... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1356203143 | 1356322372 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | wogs94: Tifu by breaking my friends car
So last night around 10ish, 2 friends and I were coming back from watching a close basketball game between our highschool and another from the same town. We lost in double overtime, first bad thing that happened, we were on our way to some other friends indoor soccer game which ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1356208608 | 1356290300 | null | t5_2to41 | 727 | brownmike3: TIFU and now this girl is rinsing her vagina..
So I've been talking to this girl right.. We went to my favorite taco truck for a quick delicious bite. This truck in particular serves your tacos with avocado, pickled jalapenos and grilled onions. We each ordered 4 Tacos and ate them down by the river, ... | 7 | 103.857143 | |
1356218303 | 1356592716 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | Paint_fuelled_engine: TIFU by using a menstrual-fluid-covered toothbrush.
Being both poor and environmentally conscious, I use a Mooncup instead of sanitary towels or tampons.
[This is a Mooncup, lads.](http://www.mooncup.co.uk/about-the-mooncup.html)
Menstrual blood. Lovely coppery menstrual blood. It needs to be ... | 10 | 6.3 | |
1356219957 | 1356322318 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | sirninjafishV: TIFU by almost getting shot by a crazy redneck.
so my friend and i got fucked up last night. we are both pretty light drinkers, but last night we got a full bottle of Smirnoff ice as an early Christmas present. so, against our better judgement, we split the bottle between me, him and his sister. no you s... | 7 | 6.714286 | |
1356235526 | 1356311020 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | BlueLily: Tifu:By calling out the wrong name...
TL:DR- *called the new guy in my life... The old ones name during sex.*
So, I'm sure this isn't as horrible as others... But it was a huge fuck up for me. I got out of a really bad relationship over the summer, met a guy who was nice.. Not really my type though. So afte... | 4 | 2 | |
1356236909 | 1356328659 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | Locrian_DM: TIFU by shitting
This happened a few weeks ago.
I had been sick for a few days. I feel a shit coming on and think to myself "Oh, this one's gonna take a while..." so I grab my phone. I'm playing a bit of Temple Runner, so I don't really pay much attention to what all happens. I finish, flush, wash hands... | 4 | 15 | |
1356222677 | 1356369700 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | YouKnowWhoToCall: TIFU by throwing up on my friend while sober
A few friends and I were playing Halo and getting ready to go out to a bar to meet up with some people, you know just sort of a gaming session before getting properly shitfaced before we all went home for Christmas.
My friend, showered and dressed, comes o... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1356277524 | 1356282881 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by brushing my teeth after only one bite of Cheerios
I prepare myself a delicious bowl of Cheerios for breakfast. I get one bite in and then start browsing reddit. I then had a massive brain fart and my brain told me I was done, and I went and brushed my teeth and used mouthwash, only to return to my 1%... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1356285751 | 1356296880 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | Pythonguy: TIFU by walking out of a bar.
Well, technically yesterday, but gotta sleep off the hangover.
So, here I am, celebrating the birthday of my crush, taking shots, being genreally happy with myself and the situation. Naturally, after a while I gotta take a piss, so I get up, and by the time I get back there sh... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1356286147 | 1356325082 | null | t5_2to41 | 641 | Semetastic: TIFU by yelling about my sister possibly breaking up with her bf, coming downstairs half naked and having him standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Yea. So. That was awkward. My sister and her boyfriend have been a little shaky and my sister came home yesterday all depressed after leaving her boyfriend's ea... | 7 | 91.571429 | |
1356291963 | 1356318300 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | Pardus_Blacke: TIFU after hearing from a friend that my ex(who i had intentions to get back with) has been sleeping with her prior ex.
(This actually happened last night, but close enough since I have slept since then)
A friend and I were just shooting the shit at my sister's birthday party last night and at the some ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1356299169 | 1356369049 | null | t5_2to41 | 225 | Kitkat127: TIFU by not looking where I was going.
My mom, aunt, uncle and I went out to dinner at Cracker Barrel last night. After a nice meal we were all shopping in their store. My mom found an ornament that she really liked and decided to buy it as a nice Christmas present to herself from her cats. She was next in l... | 9 | 25 | |
1356257724 | 1356325808 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | iEpic: TIFU by face planting into a 3 foot deep snowbank. Twice.
SilentScience: Explain how.
iEpic: I tripped on my own foot the first time. The second time, I tripped on my shoelace.
| 3 | 2 | |
1356299582 | 1356304766 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Xmas
Cairnwyn: So you bought her exactly what she asked for and made sure it was the best possible quality even though it cost more, and yet you are in the wrong for expecting her to get you what *you* asked for? This is ridiculous. You didn't fuck up -- your girlfriend did.
dbzgtfan4ever: Yeah. No reason... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1356316601 | 1356357324 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | adustum: Tifu by starting a fire in my oven
It happened this morning. I woke up after hanging out with a friend last night, drinking some beer and making bacon cheeseburgers in my cast iron skillet. Normally, I simply wipe the skillet with a paper towel to keep it nice and seasoned and put it back on the rack but la... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1356320811 | 1356705375 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | taylor_swifts_tampon: TIFU by totaling my car with expired car insurance
I will be honest, this was actually Friday night but I am just now getting around to a point where I feel like acknowledging this happened.
Was driving down the highway in my Explorer and a tire blew out, lost control of the car and ended up roll... | 3 | 6 | |
1356322267 | 1356680734 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | JusCallMeCyn: TIFU by leaving my car window down.
It snowed last night. http://imgur.com/xubs3
Mynameisntchewy: White Christmas!
Fidel204: I wanted that but got rain instead
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1356332536 | 1356382819 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,262 | WKahle11: TIFU by spilling 4000 gallons of jet fuel.
But seriously, that's like 30,000 dollars worth of fuel that's going to cost at least 100,000 dollars to have cleaned up.
Now for the story. I work at an airport as a line service technician, which mostly involves fueling aircraft. The fuel in our trucks comes from... | 8 | 157.75 | |
1356327500 | 1356986010 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | VaginaPirate: TIFU XMAS
So last minute shopping I am running to every jewelry store in town looking for my SO request of diamond studded ear rings, I found the cut and specs she requested, spent way over my budget (my choice on upgraded specs)but got what she wanted. Kinda stressful but shopping done.
An hour later... | 5 | 8.6 | |
1356334110 | 1356815204 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: Just a list of ways I fucked up today, with conclusion at the end: advice needed.
Hi reddit.
Here, in no particular order, are ways I've shot myself in the foot today:
* Leaving work at 10am because I couldn't handle my new co-worker and being about to vomit.
* getting drunk at noon
* snapchatting the gi... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1356330736 | 1356416694 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by not paying attention to my (boyfriend's) dog.
Sorry for the wall of text and/or if this is the wrong subreddit.
So my boyfriend has a 100+lb 2 year old female Bull Mastiff (Simba). We live together so I consider her my dog too. Today we took her to his friend's house for Sunday football. He has a 9 ... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1356322792 | 1356372864 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Esoteric787: TIFU by driving an automatic tow truck
found out 20 minutes into my shift that the trans was broken and couldnt go faster than 45.
I went back to the yard and stole someone elses truck.
Sqaure1988: And here i was expecting that you tired to push in the clutch and hit the break hard, thus causing the car ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1356342247 | 1356431908 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | Circ-Le-Jerk: TIFU by accidentally BCC'ing my old HR department my application to their competitor
Technically it happened 3 months ago, but I just found out today. Three months ago, I resigned from a company for a number a reasons -- basically I wasn't happy, both professionally and ethically. However, I didn't try to... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1356354753 | 1356596035 | null | t5_2to41 | 94 | [deleted]: TIFU By Having sex to the beat of music..
So my best mate took me out for a night at the clubs and we danced a little, had some drinks and what-not. Anyway a girl there took a little 'interest' in me and I ended up walking home with her and when we started to sorta go at it, I had my music playing and one of... | 7 | 13.428571 | |
1356360580 | 1356526878 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to work high.
I work at a pub and i just go round collecting glasses and delivering food. a very timid job so i often go in high to pass the time.
now for the fuck up...
We have an ice machine witch you can scoop ice out off like [this](https://www.epayments.co.uk/WebRoot/Store3/Shops/es11... | 7 | 13.714286 | |
1356367541 | 1356468013 | null | t5_2to41 | 316 | inlover: TIFU Yelled at a woman at Sonic
This woman. I swear she deserved it... no one deserves to be treated like I was at Sonic. She was angry because her burger had taken a few extra minutes, and was being rather dramatic about it. I went to take her order out and she did not seem pleased. Seeing as its the holiday... | 6 | 52.666667 | |
1356366448 | 1356494769 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | decjh: TIFU by spraying mosquito repellent on my balls... It burns
So, just before I go to sleep here in Australia I notice I've got a mosquito bite on my balls (yeah funny I know, this wouldn't even be the first time). This was after having sprayed the rest of my body with repellent. Deciding I didn't want to be bitte... | 6 | 14.833333 | |
1356416029 | 1356429767 | null | t5_2to41 | 220 | xthorgoldx: TIFU by crashing three registers during a shopper rush
where I work, we have a good selection of prepaid cards. Microsoft Points, PSN cards, Steam Wallet money, iTunes cards... heck, we even have Club Penguin and Runescape (!) cards. It's a nice addition to the selection of games and other electronics we ca... | 6 | 36.666667 | |
1356449469 | 1356493842 | null | t5_2to41 | 403 | dndtweek89: TIFU by losing my wallet. In a cab. In Korea.
Merry Christmas TIFUers! Today as I was getting out of a taxi, i felt something fall on the floor. I assumed it was my glove, so I reached down to pick it up. I felt something, but then realized I had both gloves, so I just left it on the floor, and got out of t... | 9 | 44.777778 |
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