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1654158150 | 1654194957 | t3_v341lu | t5_2to41 | 629 | Queen_of_skys: TIFU by leaving my vibrator out for my entire family to see
Well, I really hoped it never will but the day has come for me to post here.
I (18f) live with my parents (mid 40's) and two siblings (13f & 10m)
Yesterday I was having a spicy conversation with a partner on the phone, prompting me to get up at around 3am after falling asleep to clean my little toy and brush my teeth
I guess I'm my "just woke up" daze I set the toy aside to brush my teeth right on the sink the entire family uses and well, it is now 11am and I just found it there. After everyone woke up, got ready for school IN THAT BATHROOM and left.
I am COMPLETELY mortified, and at this point just trying to tell myself that my parents wouldn't know what a vibrator is, I'm just glad my siblings are completely innocent.
TL;DR: left the vibrator on the family bathrooms sink for the entire family to see.
FaFo_winninandsinnin: Vibrators have been around in some capacity since the late 1880. If your parents are complete prudes you should be fine.
You said mid 40’s… We‘ve lived pretty hard and revolutionized the porn industry. They know.
Good luck, it’s not the end of the world.
Capable-Site-301: Hell, her mom probably owns a few.
fightbox: but not more than six if they are in Texans, for some reason a woman can't own more than 6 vibrators
lucky_crocodile: Is this per woman, per human, or per household?
If I identify as non-binary can I own more or fewer?
Faaager: You think a Texan judge would care about what you identify as? Haha!
lucky_crocodile: No I don't, but I'm an optimist and think maybe the supreme Court would
Plus I'm not American so I know my courts care a bit
misanthrope2327: >maybe the supreme Court would
I've got some bad news for you...
fightbox: nono he got a point there, you just don't want to be on one side of gender over the other
| 9 | 69.888889 | |
1654145397 | 1654185924 | t3_v310zh | t5_2to41 | 6 | RuralRasta: TIFU by purging my social media and untagging myself from a photo with a friend that actually meant a lot to me
Obligatory actually happened a few months ago. We're music buddies and have been since high school. We are very close, like brothers, though different in many ways. We have played in bands and shared so much music. He looks up to me a lot as the one who really showed him his favourite artists and helped him learn how to play. He fortunately ended up becoming the manager of a record store and became very successfully involved in our city's local music scene.
So when I went to hang with him and some other old friends and woke up the next day to being tagged in a photo with him of us laughing at something on his phone and a caption that explained who I was to his large amount of followers, I felt really cool. Obviously I would have wanted to own my own record store too and have this local fame, but am still so happy he has it. And he made me a part of it with this photo and explanation of who I was. That made me feel validated as instead of a frontline public figure, I was the one behind the scenes really making the waves people surfed in. Or something like that if it makes sense.
Anyhoo, one day a few months ago, I guess out of boredom and obsession over myself I decided I didn't "need" even that photo on my profile anymore, because I was going to achieve my own success. I untagged myself, thinking the post was actually unflattering to me somehow - sad or isolating in that I wasn't really tagged in many others. So I felt like I should clean up my profile and yes, untagged myself.
I don't know why he would have known but after a bit I started feeling stupid about it and mentioned it to him, seeing if he could retag me, as hilariously pathetic as that was. He laughed and said he loved the photo and that he would. But he hasn't still. There hasnt been any real repercussions, I went to his wedding and we were all fine. But I thiinnkk it definitely changed his view on me, but he has so much going for him he's not going to let it affect his life. But this is affecting my life. I don't need much from this world but a few good friends and music. And in my hysterical purging of my social media, I've botched a good source of both.
​
TL; DR I was in a weeeirdd place in my life and untagged myself from a great photo of a wonderful moment with one of my closest best buddies and I requested he retag me which he didn't and now the friendship is forever besmirched because I don't want to be needy and ask again.
Aieiaer: It sounds like you analysis things way too much. You Untagged a photo, he doesn’t care, more on with your day good sir
RuralRasta: He does care though, but yea
| 3 | 2 | |
1654159075 | 1654186223 | t3_v349cn | t5_2to41 | 21 | Shumanshishoo: TIFU by cursing at two rude boys
Really not a glorious moment for me. Due to trauma, I have had huge anger issues but ironically I'm also terrified of confrontation and conflict. Which makes me a constantly angry antisocial trapped in the body of a shy, quiet pushover. I bury my anger again and again while feeling it deeply, and I can never find the words to communicate how I feel. On rare occasions I completely snap and that's when everything comes out.
It's rare for me to stand up for myself whether against coworkers or family or strangers. It's even more rare for me to actually confront someone, especially a stranger. I tend to just feel that fight, flight or freeze feeling and chose flight and freeze.
Anyway, just an hour ago, I was waiting for the bus, minding my own business when two school age boys (10-11 yo) showed up, laughing and talking loud. No one else around.
I didn't pay attention to them until I heard comments which I'm pretty sure were about me. I wasn't sure at all at first and brushed it off, thinking they were talking about someone else or talking on a phone.
I didn't want to be the paranoid lady who thinks random little boys that she never met plot against her at a bus stop. But when I turned several times to look at them, they were looking at me and snickering.
Cue the anger but I thought "hey, calm down, they're just kids acting stupid". So I tried to do what I always do: being a wuss and not confronting.
As I got on the bus tho, one of the boys actively tried to push past me. And even during the whole trip, I could feel that they were behaving in a way that was targeting me. In all fairness, I'm just an average woman, early 30's, conventionally dressed, no physical particularity (not that it would have made it ok), nothing standing out really.
Of course, when I get up to get off at my stop, they get up too. Again, I think "Let's get off the bus and walk away from those little shits and try to forget about that weird encounter".
As the doors open and I'm literally getting out, the same boy pushes past me (like actually pushing me in the process).
So I'm on the footpath and feeling myself "snapping", turn to them and ask "What's your fucking problem??". They freeze, with the most genuinely shocked look on their faces and go "What?". I repeat "What's your fucking problem?". I wasn't yelling, just speaking at a normal tone, but I could hear the pure anger in my voice. One boy frowned in confusion and asked "Are you ok?". I just replied "Don't come near me again" and walked away.
It only took me the few minutes needed to reach home to regret reacting this way, especially towards KIDS. Even though they were being incredibly disrespectful.
Being the non confrontational pushover that I am, I certainly wouldn't have dared to curse at them if they had been adults so there was absolutely no satisfaction. Not to mention how pathetic it is to immediately resort to cursing. They looked so shocked that I'm not sure whether it was because they didn't expect me to respond so harshly (or respond at all) or because of the small hypothesis that it was a misunderstanding and that they were absolutely not targeting me. That hypothesis is making me question my sanity. I feel like I reacted like those crazy people who verbally abuse strangers.
TL;DR TIFU by cursing at two young boys, whom I didn't know and who were being rude to me for absolutely no reason. Feeling like I acted childish and crazy. I'm usually a pushover who doesn't confront people and I never curse at random people.
slarti54: Fuck it.
Gl0wrm: Happy cake day :)
| 3 | 7 | |
1654160945 | 1654182967 | t3_v34oln | t5_2to41 | 19 | GhettoBoy_: Tifu by leaving my toilet clogged with shit for 16 hours
So as the title says, I got up this morning and did my business on the toilet, not bothering to make sure it went down because it always does so why tf would I, and went about my day.
I had an interview and was pretty much gone all morning, came home and didn’t use the restroom all day. Until about an hour ago, 1230am, I had to use the bathroom and that’s when I discovered the horrendous scene that was sitting in my toilet all fucking day. I’m so irritated I BARELY discovered it at this time when I’m so tired and who tf wants to unclog a shit filled toilet at 12am.
I’ve had jobs where I’ve cleaned disgusting things, but not at 12am in my own apartment with no personal protection equipment. I’ve unclogged a toilet before, but not one that’s filled!
I stood for a while thinking of what I should do, looking up videos to make this as clean and quick as possible, also preparing a plan B in case it starts to overflow, a nightmare I’m not ready for.
I attempted to unclogged with a plunger using extreme caution to not splash. Didn’t work, said fuck it, I live in an apartment with emergency maintenance service thank god, but I’m not about to wake up maintenance man to unclog a toilet at now 1am, I’d hate me too. I’ll call in the morning and have a tip waiting for the maintenance man.
TL;DR
ttppii: When Americans will update their plumbing? Clogged toilets is unheard thing here.
monorchism: Do you poop in an outhouse? What is your secret to no clogged toilet. I’m not American but my toilet still clogs
ttppii: In Finland I have never heard that anyone in my family or friends would have had a clogged toilet. I am sixty, and personally I have never encountered one. I am always baffled how bad toilets people abroad have.
Miles_Saintborough: Diet also plays a role. Some people take big enough shits to clog toilets.
ttppii: …or somewhere plumbing is very shitty….
monorchism: ill go with shit plumbing because never clog a toilet in a store just my house and im very carful with the amount of tp i use,
| 7 | 2.714286 | |
1654161610 | 1654182367 | t3_v34u3g | t5_2to41 | 1,911 | NotSmilingAnymore: TIFU when I smiled
**Random throwaway account.**
Last night I went on a date with a girl I'll call Mackenzie. We met online, had fun getting to know each other, and then decided to meet in person. The chemistry we had online managed to remain intact when we were finally face to face. The date went so well that we agreed to continue the fun at her place. Since I used an Uber and Mackenzie used her own car, it made sense that we drive together in her car, which is what we did.
So, there we were, driving. I didn't wanna be presumptuous, but all the signs were pointing towards sex and I was beginning to feel that internal pressure to tell Mackenzie that I've had some bad sexual experiences due to my dentures. Quick backstory. A few months ago I lost my top front teeth due to a bad gum infection and I've had to learn to live with dentures ever since. It affected my self confidence, especially during sex because my dentures would sometimes slip out when I'm kissing a girl or giving her oral. It's embarrassing and it usually takes me out of the moment. I actually had to limit how vigorous I get when I do anything sexual with my mouth out of fear that my dentures would come loose.
I shared the less detailed version of that backstory with Mackenzie and made it sound as lighthearted as possible because I didn't want her to feel like I'm dumbing my personal baggage on her before our first date was even over. She was surprised to find out about my dentures, which surprised me. I thought it was obvious when you look at my mouth, but apparently she never noticed. I was so eager to show Mackenzie that it's okay to laugh about it that I made an awkward gay joke about how I would be an outstanding twink because gummy blowjobs are the best blowjobs. Mackenzie giggled, but the energy I got from her was that I'm heading towards cringey as fuck territory.
However, instead of dailing it down or better yet, just keeping my fucking mouth shut, I decided to attempt one more "funny thing". Without thinking I randomly asked Mackenzie to quickly look at me, which she did. At that moment I gave her a big smile without my dentures. Mackenzie got such a fright that she stopped paying attention to the road and almost drove over a red traffic light at a busy intersection. She stepped on the brakes so hard that my dentures flew out of my hand and her car choked and switched off. Needless to say I didn't just lose all of my brownie points with Mackenzie, I practically buried them in the same grave as my missing teeth.
I apologized to Mackenzie, but I could tell she was too upset to give a fuck. All she wanted was for her car to start, which didn't happen immediately. I offered to help where I can, but she channelled the tone of every angry mother in existence and instructed me to focus on finding my dentures and make sure that it stays in my mouth. I complied. Mackenzie eventually got the car running again and I managed to find my dentures. Even though I had nothing to clean my dentures with, I was too nervous to bring it up so I just put it in my mouth as is and hoped I didn't die of another gum infection.
Mackenzie decided she was no longer in the mood for company and dropped me off at my house. We haven't communicated since. I think it's safe to assume I'm never gonna see her again.
**Tl:dr I thought it would be funny to remove my dentures and smile at my date while she was driving us back to her place. My hideous smile almost caused an accident, which prompted my date to drop my ass at home and most likely never speak to me again.**
Captainschitqunt: What you should learn from this is: The only person your dentures bother are yourself. Never go out of your way to make somebody comfortable about an issue YOU have to deal with. They are either comfortable with it, or they are not. That's up to them👍
GamerGrunt: Totally this. I'm a big dude and sometimes I'm self-conscious about it, but guess what? Lots of chicks don't care as long as we vibe. Something I like to tell people is that someone who likes you will focus on the positive! There's a lot more to OP than his dentures and me than my weight, we need to remember that and just be ourselves. Cause being insecure about it will only come off as awkward and unconfident and that's something that's hard to see in a positive light.
Captainschitqunt: Definitely! I'm a bigger guy too (not obese but I've got a dad bod) and my Mrs is actually stunning. To the point that everybody says I'm punching above my weight, ironically. But I make her laugh and make her feel special. That's what matters to her most. And because of that she finds me just as attractive as I find her.
Laxilus: 100% agree
Also I like your name
Captainschitqunt: Appreciate that, thank you.
| 6 | 318.5 | |
1654163934 | 1654202234 | t3_v35cha | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing a hentai game and getting hemorrhoids
[deleted]
PR0JECT-7: How were you sitting? What were you seated on, a sack of bricks?
Which game was it?
pitoparai: I think I was leaning forward with my lower back kinda jutted out. I have one of those like bungee chairs with a cushion over it but one of the bands is fucked up.
It was degrees of lewdity
Im-with-food: That game is godly
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1654166477 | 1654167572 | t3_v35yj5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by throwing multiple bags of trash away in the common area
[deleted]
LPOLED: If it’s any consolation, they probably (definitely) have seen worse things going on.
ash_hat69: well the worst is that they know EXACTLY who i am because i’m one of four staff members that lives on campus. and i have silver and black hair, so i can’t even pretend i don’t know what they’re talking about 😭
LPOLED: Well, shit happens. Live by that.
But if ever you’re worried for the integrity of another bag, you could have one of those cheap dollar laundry bins to support your trash. Or double bag, even.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1654167591 | 1654169338 | t3_v368fv | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by legally driving through a crosswalk
[deleted]
nadamo-nadamotion: A vehicle is a weapon. Use it as one if you need to. As a small, pregnant woman with toddlers, you should consider ways to defend yourself and your family.
shadesofwolves: > Use it as one of you need to
On what planet would you think this is sound advice.
nadamo-nadamotion: Jesus christ, if someone is attacking you, do you just lay back and take it?
shadesofwolves: Someone chased OP as they're driving away.
You suggest they turn around and use a couple of tons of machinery to combat an old man and a fist?
nadamo-nadamotion: I never said that, that’s a sign of your deranged
mind. My point was that people are insane and when you’re as vulnerable as she is, you need to be aware of how to protect yourself.
shadesofwolves: With the context of the post, and you responding to "use your vehicle as a weapon" that's essentially exactly what you're saying, if only implying.
Leave the personal attacks out of this, would you? I'm sure if you had any valid reasoning you wouldn't need this, I'm sure.
nadamo-nadamotion: 😘
shadesofwolves: It's called de-escalation. No need to add a weapon in this scenario.
Imagine it holding up in court that you defended yourself using a vehicle when already driving away.
| 9 | 0.888889 | |
1654165470 | 1654256934 | t3_v35q1s | t5_2to41 | 6 | borisslovechild: TIFU by agreeing to go on a holiday with my GF
Here's how the FU happened. I am doing a masters degree in creative writing and my dissertation (which is 70% of my proposed novel) is about growing up in an SEA country. Now I am broke and it is going to take a huge chunk of my savings for a month long trip back to the motherland to photograph and document the bits that will appear in my novel. The plan was to go there solo, tell no one that I was there and simply concentrate on the project. The completion of this novel would be the fulfilment of a lifelong dream and it is crucial that I get the details right or I am going to get crucified. Now my GF has never been to my home country but has heard a lot about it. I weakened and agreed that we could have a two week break and I could spend the remaining two weeks working on the project. It would be tight but possibly enough time. Now GF doesn't enjoy roughing it but is prepared to pick up the tab for most of the two weeks I am there. But it will be more complicated and expensive. Next thing you know, it's turned into a four week trip to: a. go on a two week holiday with GF; b. see my Mum; c. attend major family celebration; and d. Hang out with old friends. So much for the ninja trip in aid of my masters degree. I will be lucky if I get any research done.
TLDR: TIFU ninja-style research trip to the motherland has turned into a four week unintendeded vacation with possibly lethal consequences for work.
ltpko: Sounds like your thesis/novel is very important to you and it already sounds like you are giving up on it. If you want specific pictures for your novel maybe you could make a road trip designed around those pictures. If your girlfriend supports you, your hopes, and your dreams then she will be happy to see your homeland and happy to ensure you get what you need for your thesis/novel. Make it clear what your goals and expectations are in terms of completion. Maybe ask if one of your friends would be willing to take her sightseeing for a day so you can work. If you are in a safe tourist area she could adventure out on her own. There are often safe travel day trips in places that can be found on Airbnb and other online resources. If the goal is your thesis/novel then don’t give up. Find a way. Not all is lost and if it is… maybe you arent with someone that supports your dreams, hopes, or future.
borisslovechild: Hey appreciate the advice. I think the problem is that I return home so rarely that it's difficult not to try and fit in more stuff.
ltpko: Life choices and how you spend your time can be hard. What’s important to you? What happens if you don’t get what you need for your thesis? You basically blamed your girlfriend for ruining your thesis time. Your response indicates that your priority is family and friends. If that’s what is important then prioritize them over your thesis. If your thesis is important then find a way to prioritize it. The question always goes back to priorities. Is your thesis a priority? Where will you be a year from now if you do or don’t complete your thesis?
borisslovechild: You're right. It does feel like I'm blaming my GF and it is unfair. This is a rant and I can't pretend that I am going to be fairminded and reasonable about it. It's why I'm ranting about it online and anonymously. It is a TIFU so its here and I'm blaming myself more than anyone else. The thesis will get done but right now I'm just venting.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1654169193 | 1654175913 | t3_v36o0h | t5_2to41 | 26 | uuuuu5uu: TIFU by accidentally shutting down an entire warehouse and then production
So I am a warehouse management system consultant and this week I was working for a client on site. For a correction process we created virtual storge bins and I was trying to move the entire Stock of one of these bins to another on my PC.
So I ran the selection for that 1 bin, hit "mark all rows", also - crucially - checked the checkbox "confirm immediately", and gleefully pressed Enter.
Well, I shouldn't have.
First, I noticed that its taking longer than it should. Then I realized what I've done, let out an audible fuck and had to rock back in my chair as if to distance myself from that horrific scene that I saw on my computer screen.
See, what happened was, I've run the first selection incorrectly, and I included their entire warehouse Stock. So I moved the Stock from 6500 bins to 1 bin. They had to stop everything in the warehouse and because they couldn't supply stuff for production eventually had to stop production as well.
Took me like 8 hours to move everything back. They weren't happy.
Tl;dr I accidentally moved an entire warehouse's Stock to a single bin, shutting down the warehouse and eventually shutting down production as well.
UnadvertisedAndroid: I love how in this day and age a computer system overrides our intelligence. "Hey the bin I've been taking X product from for production says it no longer contains X. Welp, all production must stop". Brilliant. The products didn't physically change bins, and pens and paper didn't suddenly cease to exist, so you didn't shut this warehouse down, you simply exposed its managers' incompetence at leading.
uuuuu5uu: The problem is the warehouse operator doesn't know he needs to go to bin X. He only knows he needs Y qty of product Z in this case
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1654168934 | 1654684225 | t3_v36ll4 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my ex gf think i am stalking her
[deleted]
cruisin5268d: I mean, just don’t go to her place of work if you’re trying to avoid her because when you DO go there and then ask multiple people if she’s working then your words plus your actions 100% say you’re trying to see her.
YaBoiWithThaSmell: Yeah like i said, in hindsight that was a dumbass move of me. I was not trying to see her man, i was making sure that she wasn't working because i was really craving domino's. It was indeed dumb of me to do so and i regret going there.
cruisin5268d: Sounds like you WERE trying to see her and when that failed you decided to come to Reddit to Amber Heard a back story to cover your tracks and hope your ex would read it.
Which is pretty messed up. There’s not a bone in my body that believes you didn’t want to see her because you wouldn’t have done that. After every break up I’ve had I avoided their place of work like the plague because it’s like putting salt on a fresh wound.
You need to let go and move on.
YaBoiWithThaSmell: What you believe is what you believe. I am not here to defend myself because what i did do was indeed not the brightest of ideas.
But for the love of god and all that is holy, please do not compare me to amber heard.
I at least recognize that i was at fault wether it be unintentional or not.
Again what you believe my intentions were is up to you.
cruisin5268d: To be clear I wasn’t comparing you to her, I was just using her name as a verb.
YaBoiWithThaSmell: Yeah now i see that, sorry that was my bad really.
FreeOffbrandTherapy: Ah see now he's in step 2.
Step one:fabricate, lie and abuse
Step 2. Say sorry so you can do it again
We are on to you YaBoiWithThaSmall.
You are an off-brand Amber Heard. Be gone with you.
You have shit the metaphorical legs off of the bed that is your (ex) relationship.
ABUSER!
YaBoiWithThaSmell: What?
FreeOffbrandTherapy: I called you "YaBoiWithTheSmall".
*I'm hilarious.*
YaBoiWithThaSmell: Im actually confused by what you're saying.
FreeOffbrandTherapy: (And that's absolutely okay)
| 12 | 3 | |
1654171592 | 1654174133 | t3_v37clv | t5_2to41 | 6 | nursesarefucking: TIFU by "hurting" a nurse.
[removed]
FyuckerFjord: Sounds like someone got left for a nurse or two lol
RudeSprinkles1240: The scary nurse did a big bad and gave their booty a vaccination, and now they're going to tell lies about the bad guy nurses that forget to give them a lollipop after.
nursesarefucking: I don't want any lollipop, but I want her sexy husband's lolly
RudeSprinkles1240: Is it summer vacation already? Go outside and play. It'll be good for you to get some fresh air and sunshine.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1654174177 | 1654252292 | t3_v385cc | t5_2to41 | 18 | Fontec: TIFU taking acid and redefining my relationship
a couple came over last night and we took acid.
We watched cat in the hat into Charlie and the chocolate factory (very intense and made my subconscious be displayed)
my gf met the non binary of the relationship last week
During the trip I was trying to observe and be with all of everyone. I would feel my gf and the nb attraction
different pairings of people left the room a few times and each time I’d spiral bc I’m feeling attraction but it’s not mine. I don’t feel invited
we’ve been exclusive and so it’s just been okay to observe my gf all the time and when I was asked not to observe bc intimacy requires privacy (or maybe because we’re dating) it made me feel rejected and outcast
after the trip and they left and I’m trying to talk to my partner about these walls that separate us (I.e. the couple has sex and we have sex but we decide not to have sex with eachother)
she tells me she has a crush on the nb and that she wants another partner but still loves me and wants me 2.
we’ve both never tried this (I was raised Christian).
My hangs ups were (bc my intuition is legendary and I knew from the start) I asked four times if they were monogamous and I got 3 idk into a yes. Earlier the nb asked if my gf was flirting with them and my gf said it was platonic to them and told me about it.
She had someone in mind before asking to open the relationship up.
TLDR; don’t take acid it will change your deep rooted values and you’ll try new things
wolfxdown: How long have you two been dating reopening a new dynamic into a relationship takes a tremendous amount of communication
Fontec: 2 years 😳. we said we could do group stuff in the future but I didn’t expect the future to be now and like I’m not the one with a crush so it’s one sided.
Sylvurphlame: Two years ago, you and GF agreed you could do group stuff in the future? A lot can change in two years. If you don’t feel comfortable with that *now* then you *don’t*. Be honest, and if GF still feels strongly about booking up with her crush *while still in an relationship with you*, then you two may need to part ways if you can’t find it acceptable. If it doesn’t work for both of you, it just doesn’t work.
I know a thousand redditors will post their personal anecdotes and probably downvote, but…
open relationships that remain successful are the exception, not the rule. Somebody is going to feel jealous and/or neglected.
Fontec: I’m definitely jealous.
I was feeling neglected before this because I wanted to be pursued but there was this other desire that she wasn’t aware of.
I don’t feel comfortable but it’s a new situation
I’m strong though and I’m not disinterested in someone because they developed a crush.
I’ve been out in similar situations to this twice before and I do explode and the relationship ends once they kiss.
RandomRedditReader: So why do it?
Fontec: I’m in love! It’ll be cool too see them try and hold two sparks
MuskyLion: I'll save you the suspense: they can't. Almost no one truly can. Are you happy being a spark? Wouldn't you rather be a flame?
I have several friends in long-time open relationships and those relationships only work because of a distinct lack of jealousy. You're not there and might never be there given this has happened with multiple partners. Also, my friends and their SOs don't get permanently attached to their other partners such that a real spark would perpetuate.
It's ok for you to find a partner that just wants you. You don't have to be caught up in the pansexual zeitgeist currently inundating the western world.
| 8 | 2.25 | |
1654175404 | 1654186469 | t3_v38j6l | t5_2to41 | 45 | RetroDad-IO: TIFU by buying condoms based on my teenage years
So there's no way this isn't going to come off as a humble brag, but I feel so stupid and it's hilarious so I want to share with someone.
So when I was younger I used condoms often, they weren't super comfortable but hey, it's a condom, I figured it was fine. At that age I was just happy to be having sex in general and thought nothing of it. During my last two relationships though condoms weren't used, they were both long term where the last one resulted in marriage and a planned child. So the last time I used one in general was probably about 15 years ago back in my early 20's.
Fast forward and I'm now a divorced single father trying to date again. I hit up online dating, have been getting decent interest and hit it off with a wonderful woman. We've gone out a few times and made plans to meet my friends but then go back to her place afterwards for a bit. I thought to myself, I should probably go buy some condoms, there's new brands now locally so I looked them up and grabbed some SKYN condoms thinking I was set.
So the night goes really well, we're having fun, she's talking to my friends, and after everyone's finished up we depart and head back to her place. While there one thing leads to another and I'm now reaching for the condom, I apply it and it feels a bit weird but "hey, it's a condom, I figured it was fine". Not going to go into all the details but as we're having sex I can tell that this just doesn't feel right, and by doesn't feel right, I can't feel much of anything. We have a lot of fun but in the end I wasn't able to complete much to my dismay. I decide to just call it, pack it up, make sure she had a good time, and play it off as nerves.
Once I get home I think "was that normal or did I somehow apply it wrong?". It seems pretty idiot proof but I've proven I can be a genius when it comes to being an idiot at times. Start reading more and begin wondering "Fuck. Is the condom too small?" so I pull out the fucking tape measure like a stupid teenager looking to brag to his friends.
I'm fucking a bit larger than average in length and girth. Length isn't an issue for the condoms but the girth definitely is.
My ex-wife use to say I was a bit bigger but I thought she was just trying to build up my ego. Turns out I've been buying condoms that were too small and when I was younger I had nothing to really compare too so I didn't notice. I just bought a larger size today and tried them on and can already tell the difference, I don't feel like there's a weak fucking gnome trying to squeeze me dry.
So yeah, first time with a girl since my divorce and I get shafted by a condom that's too fucking small. She still messaged me this morning so I'm assuming she didn't take it personally!
TLDR: Bought condoms that were too small based on my teenage years. Couldn't perform with first girl since my divorce.
weedtrek: Yeah, no, those things can stretch over a whole arm. Don't fool yourself.
RetroDad-IO: They 100% can, but it comes down to comfort and just slightly too small can feel very tight and block more ~~simulation~~ stimulation than you would think. Keep in mind the difference between regular and large is literally just a few millimeters because the small variance can make a a huge difference.
iaincaradoc: The material makes a difference, too. Some brands of latex-free condoms are nowhere near as stretchy as some of the other types.
RetroDad-IO: Oh that's good to know, I wasn't aware. Thanks!
| 5 | 9 | |
1654175268 | 1654252612 | t3_v38hnb | t5_2to41 | 2,171 | TwinklyDoor: TIFU by getting my kids kicked out of swimming lessons
So I’m gutted. There’s only one swimming pool that does kids lessons in the area. Other pools are at least a half hour drive away.
I have the swim teachers number as there are always changes in schedule and parents can WhatsApp/text if they need to get hold of her. FYI she is a very prudish and professional lady in her 60s and she does the lessons for a bit of extra money now she is retired.
My friend sent me a short clip video of the grapefruit blow job, YouTube it if you want, it’s hilarious. The clip was the bit where the woman is chowing down and making the unholy noises. I meant to forward it to my husband as a joke because we saw it a while back and he was crying with laughter. Unfortunately their names are very close and essentially the masculine and feminine of the same name and without realising, I sent it to the swimming teacher. She was obviously not happy and even after I explained, and told her how mortified I was, decided it’s best if me and my children no longer attend her lessons.
I feel so guilty now as my kids loved her and the lessons, and also because it obviously upset the lovely lady.
Rubbish mum day.
TL;DR
Accidentally sent an inappropriate video to swim teacher.
ejdax37: This sucks! I have never sent anything embarrassing but did ask my boss if they had put the food in the oven once. The thing that gets me is that 30 minutes is a long drive, lol! I live in a rural area so if something only takes 30 mins to get to I am happy.
I would go with the fruit basket idea!
phyrestorm999: Yeah, a half-hour drive meaning "out of the area" seems ridiculous to me too. Maybe OP lives in a big city and is used to walking or taking public transport everywhere?
HideousPillow: or is from a smaller country?
phyrestorm999: I think she said the UK somewhere in the comments. So not ridiculously huge, but pretty big.
HideousPillow: nah we’re very densely populated in bits so the 30 mins makes sense
phyrestorm999: Hmm. I think we're using different definitions of 'area.' And judging by the votes, yours is the more popular one.
Then again, I AM from a ridiculously huge country and we have densely populated city centers too, so I'm still confused.
HideousPillow: the uk is small AND densely populated almost everywhere (except for bits in scotland and wales), we were the 4th most densely populated country in the EU in 2014 and 8x more densely populated than the us
phyrestorm999: Yeah, I'd be surprised if any EU country was more sparsely populated than the US on average. Even with 330+ million of us, it's still a BIG-ass country. The UK didn't seem that crowded to me when I lived there with my ex, but now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure his place was in exactly one of those bits of Wales you're referring to.
Edit: He also got offended when I called the UK "small."
HideousPillow: > when I called the UK small
eh we’re pretty little but no more so than anywhere else in europe
actually latvia, estonia, sweden, finland, iceland and norway are all more sparsely populated than the usa
phyrestorm999: I stand corrected!
By the way, your user name cracks me up.
HideousPillow: haha thanks, it was a randomly generated one from ages ago that i just use for most of my accounts now
| 12 | 180.916667 | |
1654175940 | 1654275930 | t3_v38pj6 | t5_2to41 | 7 | mr-poopybutthole-: TIFU by accidentally buying a one year plan on a video editing app
Technically this happened yesterday at 11 pm but I still haven’t been able to get my money back.
So it all started a few days ago when I wanted to edit a video in order to conduct an experiment for Uni work. I had never before done such work so I googled “video editing” and just downloaded the first app That appeared and got to work. This app is called “Filmora Wondershare” and after you have edited a video, if you don’t have the premium version the video will have a gigantic watermark that covers 20% of the screen.
Wanting the video to look good I checked the premium version to see if it had a free trial, this is where the FU begins. I believe this store page is designed in a scummy way (link in comments) and I believed I was getting a 7 day free trial, and a 30 day guaranteedrefund. Well no, the 7 day free trial is only for a certain item in the 1 year plan package, and the 30 day guaranteed refund is ONLY guaranteed if you are accepted for the refund, which I am apparently not.
I’m currently talking to support but they say that they will only accept a refund if the program has “technical issues that cannot be resolved by troubleshooting”. I’m thinking of just saying I have a fake problem and just trying to have luck.
TLDR: wanted to remove a watermark from a video, didn’t read closely the purchase conditions and now I am not elegible for a refund :(
mr-poopybutthole-: This is the page that appears when you are going to buy the product: https://filmora.wondershare.net/shop/buy/buy-filmora-win-idco.html?utm_source=button&utm_medium=product-win&loginCode=0zxcbz1gua78v5kr3hp9p&client-type=1&lang=en&m-pid=846&User-Agent=Wondershare%20Filmora&pid=1901&device-no=%7Bc19d5e3c-f4d9-4fef-8bb8-8f2fa3672343G%7D&version=11.3.2.1&custom=eyJkZXZpY2VfaWQiOiJ7YzE5ZDVlM2MtZjRkOS00ZmVmLThiYjgtOGYyZmEzNjcyMzQzR30iLCJwbGF0Zm9ybSI6IndpbiIsInR5cGUiOiJmeF9jbGllbnRfaW5mbyJ9
g0thboicl1que: It literally explicitly states what the 7 day trial is for
jmcs: The red stripe still takes attention away from the details, that's a popular dark pattern.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1654178587 | 1654255796 | t3_v39ld7 | t5_2to41 | 9,342 | HmmmNiceLol: TIFU got blackmailed with my dick pic
When ur a horny teenager the decisions you take are so stupid 😭😭. So I met this girl online and she said she was down to fuck tonight. Horny me immediately took the offer. Then she told me to send a pic of my face. So I sent her one with just my face with sunglasses. Then she asked me for a pic with my dick, a peace sign and my face. Felt uncomfortable so just sent the dick and peace sign. Then she forced me to send the dick and face together. In response she sent 2 nudes of herself and said I was being unfair. I stalled. Then she sent a screenshot of a Facebook post on Ellen DeGeneres’s page with my face and dick and said if I don’t send her the pic she wants she would post that. She captioned it saying I’m a perv and I was disturbing her n shit. I didn’t. Then she said because I didn’t send her the pic I had to meet her supervisor and transfer $500 to her if not the pics would go on Facebook. I was scared. Then I blocked her and reported her. Then she sent me an email that read “good luck. Spreading it now”.
Rlly scared that my dick is on fb rn n I can’t find it. But I used an alternate email with a fake name and fake dp. Do I have any reason to be scared?
TLDR; sent a dick pic to a girl online as per her request and now she’s blackmailing me for money with it
Turbulent_Place_7064: Next time reply "bold of u to assume that people havent seen my dick already" .
HmmmNiceLol: Damn I should have went with that HAHAHA
Turbulent_Place_7064: Followed with posting on ur facebook . Hey guys . Someone is trying to blackmail me and send you my dick pics . If anyone didnt get one just message me . Just to make sure no one is left out .
nothingeatsyou: I’d post that as a status by itself, just to see what people would say lmao
pinguluk: I'm doing it
nothingeatsyou: If you’re actually serious, update with the results please
pinguluk: So far 9 reactions:
4 care
2 heart
2 laugh
1 sad
One said based, another asked if we want to trade
Miguelin2004: Did you?
pinguluk: Yes, 66 reactions now
2 said they are left out,
1 said he haven't received anything,
1 said to give him the sausage and the other asked for sauce
pinguluk: Another asked if our friendship means anything to me, and if yes, then he's waiting
1 said she didn't received anything, but she'll sign up and the last one said schlong reveal contest
nothingeatsyou: Are your friends willing to adopt a random redditor?They sound awesome lmao
pinguluk: well, we are just romanians, that's how we handle shitposting in our community
https://youtu.be/WzzUPZs5l1Y
| 13 | 718.615385 | |
1654179043 | 1654276718 | t3_v39r0o | t5_2to41 | 443 | Educational_Shame591: TIFU by skipping school and having to get my tonsils removed
This had happened almost a decade ago when I was in elementary school, but I wasn’t so fond with the idea of staying in school since I wanted to go home and play on my iPad all day like every other kid my age. So I came up with the idea of biting and chewing the interior of my cheeks with my teeth until it broke my skin. I would suck the open wound so I can draw blood, then I would go up to the teacher and tell her there is blood in my mouth.
My teacher would always send me to the nurse, and my mom would get off of work to come pick me up because of an “unknown sickness” related to the blood in my mouth. I kept this up for a few days in a row. So my mom being concerned for my well being as any mom would, took me to a pediatrician.
Fast forward a few days, my appointment came up. The doctor took a look into my mouth and concluded my tonsils were infected (which they were not). So he advised my mom that I should get oral surgery to remove my “infected” tonsils which was causing me to bleed in my mouth. Me being afraid for getting in trouble for lying about my unknown condition, I kept up with my story and told my mom to proceed with the surgery.
The day of my surgery I got checked out before my operation, such as how much did I weigh or if was allergic to any medications as a precaution before surgery.
Then I was put under the light and knocked out for my surgery. The next thing I remember was waking up, feeling groggy and confused about where I was. My mouth was feeling a little dry so I tried swallowing. Then the pain came at once. It felt like razor blades going down my throat.
I knew I had fucked up and went too far with my lie. So for the next month all I had to eat was liquid/soft food, since any solid food going down my throat felt like lava. I would cry to my mom about my pain and my inability to eat my favorite meals and she would always caress me telling me it’s okay. She would wake up every morning to cook me a meal that I was able to eat and to comfort my pain.
In the end, my tonsil-less mouth did heal. I did not regret what I did since I was able to enjoy a few weeks of absence from school, which was my objective all along, just not how I planned it. Plus any future problems with my tonsils is non-existent. I do plan on telling my mom the truth after I post this. Wish me luck :)
TL;DR - Made myself bleed intentionally to skip school, doctor misdiagnosed it as an infection of my tonsils, leading me to get them removed and endure a month of pain
thelittlefae5: I mean is it possible they were infected in addition to your little scheme?
Edibletoolot: Really could be that. Since the tonsils were cut. Any other thing can happen when it comes to infection. Cuts get easily infected with experience I had.
RexIsAMiiCostume: The tonsils weren't cut, the cheeks were. You can't chew your own tonsils.
Jak_n_Dax: Don’t tell me what I can’t do!
RexIsAMiiCostume: Er... Even if you were physically capable, I REALLY would not recommend it, lol
| 6 | 73.833333 | |
1654184599 | 1654185514 | t3_v3brut | t5_2to41 | 18 | Plate_spotter: TIFU by headbutting my OH
Happened two nights ago. I had recently bought a 5 in 1 shower gel. Whole body and hair wash thing. We joked about how men can have a 5 in 1 wash but women get marketed a different product for every body part.
I showered after work, got dressed and put on some cologne. Then we went out. We got home and eventually went to bed.
She said my 18 in one smelled nice. It took me a sec to realize she was joking about the body wash. I thought she was just smelling the cologne though so I thought she should smell my hair to make sure it was the body wash.
It was dark. Just as I was leaning forward to let her smell my hair, she leaned her nose in to get a better smell. My head collided firmly with her face.
No blood but a sore nose none the less.
TL;DR
Headbutted my OH when she leaned in to smell me.
therandar: wft is oh, op?
Lord_Banken: Pretty sure it means Other Half. As in significant other.
therandar: that makes sense, thanks for clarifying!
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1654185346 | 1654214739 | t3_v3c1hn | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU throwing a "half eaten" candy bar at a Homeless Man
[deleted]
Former_Ad_1074: I mean even if completely sealed still. Throwing food or money at a homeless person isn’t respectful. Making anyone get on their hands and knees to pick up a necessity (especially when they don’t have it) is kinda fucked. Objectively. It seems as though you realized how you came across in that interaction.
For the future maybe hand a homeless person food or money. Don’t throw.
ItsAntDawg: Exactly. Who thinks throwing food at anyone is okay let alone a homeless person?
odiggidynodoubt: ;)
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1654185830 | 1654210698 | t3_v3c8dr | t5_2to41 | 55 | randomergosaur: TIFU by losing a friend because of puns
(Obligatory this happened years ago when I was in junior high). So, I had this friend. We were close, we used to have fun together, and we talked lots. He was actually my first male friend and it was so refreshing for me. I was really happy with our friendship. I treasured it.
One day he confessed to me that he have a crush on someone. At first I thought it was me and was like, "Oh no I don't want to ruin our friendship." But then he told me who it is and it wasn't me. I was relieved but that relief immediately turned to shock. Because instead of me (a female), my friend's crush is a guy.
Now a bit of background in case you guys attack me. We are from a pretty conservative country. Our country "tolerate" the LGBTQ+ community but dont really accept them as many are still homophobic...and religious. Gay rights are non-existent here and people still use the word "gay" as an insult. Naturally, the young me have similar views.
At that time, I had no idea my friend was coming out to me. He explained that he is a bisexual that scew more on the same gender. I accepted that he have a crush on that guy, but tbh I kinda took it as a joke. Subconsiously, I was thinking that it was just a phase.
That was when the puns began. Every end of the class I would always say, "BI friend!" or when he's biking home I would say, "Be careful on your BI-cycle!" I can't remember it all now but I really used tons of "Bi" puns back then. I always said it loudly on every goddamn chance I get. I really thought I was funny.
Then I noticed my friend was slowly putting a distance between us. He still talks to me but it was not the same as before. His responses became short and cold. He also began hanging out more with his other group of friends. Inevitably, our friendship fell apart. I was heartbroken. Still, I had no idea what happened and never got the chance to confront him.
Years later, university life and experiences changed my perspective. I realized that good lord I was terribly insensitive!
He was still in the closet! I was one of the people he chose to bare himself but what did I do? Publicly expose him with my silly puns! He must have felt humiliated. Betrayed, even. Jesus christ, I want to punch my young self.
Gladly, he is loud and proud now. Surrounded by the people who accepts him. I just wish I realized all this sooner so I didnt have to lose a good friend. I also wish I didnt grew up with this prejudices.
Anyway, happy pride month y'all!!
TLDR: Friend (still in the closet) bravely came out to me as bisexual, I annoyingly teased him with "bi" puns, as a result, he stopped being my friend.
kellylc: How did you not realise this was why? Genuinely I can't imagine having this much of a lack of insight
randomergosaur: You could say that's my FU.
In my defense, him "slowly" putting distance actually took months. By the time he was blatantly being cold to me, I was already done with the puns. We also had small arguments during that time period so I couldn't exactly pinpoint his reason.
kellylc: It was only slow from your perspective. From his perspective he was done with you as soon you started with the puns
randomergosaur: Yeah. In retrospect, our small arguments back then were mostly initiated by him. Usually because of petty reasons. He was really trying to get rid of me, huh? Man that sucks.
My vision was really clouded by narrow-sightedness. I tried to fit his circumstance to my standards because it was something I didnt comprehend. And I did that, without considering his feelings. Ugh. You're right. My lack of insight is baffling. Screw young me.
Battling and changing the prejudices you grew up is hard. It sucks that I had to learn all this the hard way.
| 5 | 11 | |
1654187609 | 1654190348 | t3_v3cwi7 | t5_2to41 | 35 | Kykykool666: TIFU by showing my friends at my lunch table a weird ad I keep getting
Ok so, I should start by saying I’m really self conscious about my body, I’m a teenage (16) girl who weighs about 140 pounds and am 4’10 and decided one day to take a pic of myself cuz I was an idiot and wanted to see what I looked like. I obviously deleted it afterwards.
What I didn’t know was that my friends at my lunch table, after I showed them the ad, which was one of those weird ads from kids games, would take my phone and look at my photos, specifically the deleted folder. A bunch of pictures of my face being ugly and a couple pics of other stuff, and my friends at my lunch table fucking saw it.
They didn’t really say anything about it aside from being shocked and laughing, I was laughing too, but still embarrassed. And luckily they didn’t see the one picture of myself, but I’m still worried they did.
To clarify, these friends of mine sometimes are nice to me, and sometimes aren’t, it kinda switches everyday and mainly it’s about me being ugly and fat. But the nice times are pretty funny, so I’m conflicted on that.
TLDR; my friends saw pictures of me I didn’t want them to because I didn’t know that Apple has a deleted folder on their photos and they laughed and now I’m embarrassed.
Darkncoldbard: Wait... deleted folder? What kind of nonsense is this?
twotall88: You should probably empty yours.
Darkncoldbard: This sounds like the dumbest shit ever... let me delete something but not actually have it deleted. Im on Samsung btw
twotall88: Well, it's been that way since at least Windows 95. In fact, there's a hotkey combo in windows that allows you to permanently delete it vs just sending it to the recycling bin (delete folder) which is shift+delete rather than just pushing delete.
It exists on every technology platform because humans suck and accidentally delete files that need to be recovered all the time.
Darkncoldbard: Yea bro I know computers have a "recycle bin" but it seems hella pointless on a phone
twotall88: Why would it have value on a PC but not on a mini, handheld PC known as a phone?
Darkncoldbard: Read the post... I don't know about you but I don't share my pc with anyone
twotall88: lmao OP's post only has to do with ignorance/naivety not clearing the trash folder. I don't share my phone with anyone either so...
Removing an important and used function of a computer system because you might let some random person see your trash folder is simply asinine and akin to using a sledge hammer to nail a finishing nail.
| 9 | 3.888889 | |
1654187312 | 1654188323 | t3_v3csfq | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not being aware of my surroundings
[deleted]
HeroOfTheWaste: To comment about why you thought you might be gay or bisexuality.
Likely just confused. You had no real experience with sexuality and likely just had no idea what you wanted. You likely hadn't really matured in the sexual department and so to you both seemed just fine. I personally thought i was asexual for like 2 years during puberty because I just didn't have attraction to anybody. Then one day I just suddenly was attracted to girls.
Probably just one of those shitty awkward puberty things.
To those pedophiles on the game. F**k you.
celticswing: As for the pedophiles, pretty sure the biggest one got caught. So that's a plus. Dude was buying nudes with microsoft points (Store currency)
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1654187824 | 1654308906 | t3_v3czah | t5_2to41 | 19,741 | Fiftydollarvolvo: TIFU by hanging out with 3 murderers
Blah blah this was in 2015, when I was 15.
I was sleeping over at my friend’s house, and we were home alone. We smoked some weed and were really really baked. We realized we NEEDED some munchies at about 1:00am so we walked about 2 miles to the 24/7 grocery store. My friend was really paranoid the whole time we walked, thinking someone was going to jump out of the bushes or something, idk.
We make it to the store, get a shit ton of snacks. My friend says she is too scared to walk back home so we sit in the little lobby in front of the grocery store trying to find a taxi (we only had cash with us so uber was not an option). While we’re sitting and failing to find a taxi because we lived in suburbia where there are no taxis in the middle of the night, we see a group of 3 guys around our age come in.
5 minutes later the three of them RUN out of the store, all holding some kind of liquor. The one employee half-assedly chased them to the door but just shrugged when they escaped and sighed. At this point we realized we weren’t gonna find any taxis so we decided to suck it up and just walk home.
we’re leaving the store and walk past this little sitting area maybe 75ft from the grocery store entrance. There were the 3 guys, just chillin and drinking their free booze. One of them shouts asking if we’d like to join them. I immediately panic whisper to my friend “no no no” but for some reason she says yes. Idk how she was too scared to walk 2miles in the dark but not scared enough to say no to these guys. Well I’m not leaving her so I sit down too. They give us each a beer and they’re talking about random high school stuff. They all seemed to be pretty intoxicated already, and one guy seemed to be on something else too. He was incoherent and flopping around the ground. Not in an “I’m dying” way, just in a “Im really fucked up” way.
We sit there for maybe 20mins before my friend realizes this maybe wasn’t a good idea so we look at each other like “let’s get f out of here what are we doing” and say we need to get home. They say they don’t mind walking us home. And say that maybe they can come to my friend’s house and smoke some weed. Which is obviously not a great idea and we said we were okay, but they followed us anyways so we decide to walk to the park nearby her house and then ditch them there.
They threw the one really fucked up guy in a shopping cart and offered to carry our shopping bags. We did buy a lot of munchies so we agree. they throw our stuff on top of the guy. They were nice guys, we just were not down to have them in our house and they were very pushy about wanting to come over.
We make it to the park and they disperse, the fucked up guy tries to climb over the playground fence but gets stuck and just stays there, hanging over the fence. The other two start dicking around the playground. My friend and I grab our shit and make a break for the trees. They didn’t even notice we left.
We get back to her house, laughing about how weird that whole situation was and dive into our munchies at last. We pass out in front of the tv.
The next morning, her mom came home while we were making some breakfast. We’re just chit-chatting when she asks if we heard about “that hit and run over a drug deal gone wrong involving some students at our rival high school”
We hadn’t so we asked for more info. She pulls up a news article showing 4 mugshots, 3 of which are the guys we met the night before. Turns out they and a girl tried to get weed without paying for it, and ended up like pushing the dealer out of the moving car or something like that (maybe she climbed on the side and fell off i don’t remember) and killed her.
We just looked at each other like
👁👄👁
TL;DR: met some sketchy guys in the middle of the night and hung out with them for a bit. Realized the next day they killed a girl hours before chilling with us.
Fiftydollarvolvo: [i found a news article about them](https://abc11.com/cary-hit-and-run-green-hope-high-school-student-drug-deal-katherine-burdick-crow/835074/)
AliasFaux: Update:
[https://www.wral.com/four-plead-guilty-in-botched-drug-deal-that-left-cary-teen-dead/15163408/](https://www.wral.com/four-plead-guilty-in-botched-drug-deal-that-left-cary-teen-dead/15163408/)
Top Left: The guy who stole her weed and punched her got 16-29 months in prison, plus 2 years probation
Top Right: got 14-35 months in prison
Bottom Left: 6 months in prison plus 2 years probation and community service
Bottom Right: 6-17 months in prison plus 2 years probation and community service.
uhhh206: I love when people follow up on (what some might see as) an outlandish story with receipts. Glad the two of you had a relatively uneventful encounter, and I hope your friend learned a lesson in why you should follow your instinct when someone seems sketchy.
exprezso: Her instinct was to join them tho
JGautieri78: Thus why she learned a lesson
Rugged_as_fuck: That lesson being, it's ok to hang out with dudes even though they're sketchy as long as it's not too long.
One_for_each_of_you: As long as you don't have something they want
rik_khaos: They had some weed they wanted. The lesson is let them tag along and ditch em before they kill you for your weed.
Spillmill: Or just give them the weed and keep your life? Seems a fair trade?
danderskoff: But it's THEIR weed.
So many people have this mentality "it's MY thing. I cant let YOU have it because then I wont have it"
Like, who fucking care, just give them the thing. It doesnt even matter
theresthatbear: Did you read the articles? Where are you getting the idea the weed belonged rightfully to the group of thieves?
danderskoff: No I'm not saying it belongs to the group of thieves. It's more introspective about mentalities of certain people that I've noticed that care more about their possessions than thinking rationally about the situation at hand
theresthatbear: Okay sure, but ... that's not what you said entirely. What you said was, "but it's their weed". It was not their weed, it belonged to the girl that was kilked. This is black and white, no grey area at all.
danderskoff: But that is what I meant. I meant Their as the vague ownership of weed being the person that was killed. They can be singular or plural.
It's not the most direct way of saying it but that's what I meant
theresthatbear: Is this Finders Keepers; Junior High edition?
Or possession is ownership 9/10s of the law?
Cuz it's theft where I come from.
It might have even sat in the cops' evidence room for a day or two. Or they may have smoked it all. But it was never theirs to smoke.
danderskoff: Again, I'm not saying it's the thief's to smoke.
| 17 | 1,161.235294 | |
1654188967 | 1654418491 | t3_v3deim | t5_2to41 | 17 | Top-Satisfaction9668: TIFU by not closing a TAB
Today I fucked up in the living room. Around the afternoon, I was feeling spicy so I decided to watch videos on my phone in the bathroom no headphones and no audio so it wasn't obvious what I was doing in there and squeezed one out.
A couple of hours go by and my mom, grandma and I were watching Daily Dose of Internet on the TV when something about fish popped up and my grandmother asked if fish sleep, I got curious and decided it would be a great idea to look it up on my phone which I had recently used for spicy videos (porn) and I completely forgot to close the TAB from earlier that day.
So I open Safari and I look away to watch the TV for 2 minutes while my mom is next to me and she would usually comment on what was going on but she was silent so then I looked down to my phone only to find out my recently watched porn was playing with no volume, I have no sense or clue if my mother saw the video I was watching on my phone and I was and still is embarrassed about what happened.
TL;DR: Forgot to close TAB of porn after I finished and forgot about it; accidentally played it in the living room next to my grandma and mom trying to look something up
zilnosnibor: Am I the only one who wants to know what was on the screen?
Top-Satisfaction9668: on the TV was youtube on my phone was a baddie playing with herself
zilnosnibor: Thanks! I'd be mortified if my mother saw my FUTA porn. I'd have to leave the planet lol.
Top-Satisfaction9668: i’d have to never show my face ever if i got caught watching that
| 5 | 3.4 | |
1654187466 | 1654189458 | t3_v3cuht | t5_2to41 | 5 | AppropriatelyJuiced: TIFU by being weak
I'm (26m) currently in the middle of my fuck up as I type this. Plus I feel like venting/over sharing because I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this but I don't want to keep it bottled in so you internet strangers will be my audience today, thank you if you read, double thank you if you can share a similar experience of yours.
About 2 months ago I bought some tabs from my buddy. He didn't have change so he asked if he can pay me back in Xannax. Normally I would've said no because I'm not a fan of that drug since my last 2 experiences with it were pretty shitty, plus I'm more of an uppers kind of guy. However, for some reason I said I'd take a few since he didn't have change.
Lately life has been getting the best of me. From leaving a failed relationship, to losing money in the markets and my savings. Falling outs with my friends and family because of the previous relationship. And tons more bullshit that I can't seem to solve or be better than.
Well after 2 months of holding the pill and a lot of stupid bullshit going on in my life, I decided to take the entire bar right before leaving for work. This is the first time I've done it and not blacked out. I feel like shit though, my head feels empty, I literally feel like a zombie or a ghost or something that just moves about without anything going on. Things around me are going slow, i feel like a shell of myself. I notice I can't even walk in a straight line and am just moving however my body is moving when Im trying to walk. I even went to get breakfast to have food in my system and I wlked out of the store after purchasing without even taking my items. Some tweaker shit man.
I'm an hour in to my 9 hour work day so I'm not sure if i'll feel like this all day, I hope not because I feel like someone will catch on to the change in my character and i'll ultimately lose my job which I happen to like very much. Well there it is reddit, thanks for letting me vulnerable and just run my mind away on this keybroad
TL;DR : Popped a xannax and now i'm feeling super trashed at work
nsmith0723: Better ask your supervisor for advice
AppropriatelyJuiced: Instructions unclear, boss and I are now on a bender
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1654190787 | 1654197917 | t3_v3e39q | t5_2to41 | 13 | Throwaway711311: TIFU by jerkin' it in a school restroom.
So, some context. I have and addiction to... the man thing, and have been trying to quit. But I felt extra in the mood today and went into my school restroom, did my thing, got out, and thought nothing of it.. Big mistake.
About an hour later, I get picked up by my school counselor for dismissal. I was pleasantly surprised, but also very confused. My parents don't just randomly pick me up, and they don't send a counselor for it. Then something that I was confused about, but spelled my doom in retrospect,
"You are not in trouble, neither are your parents."
Suddenly, my heart dropped. What happened? Is CPS here or somethin'? I get taken to the counselor's office to wait. 5 minutes later, my dad enters. Me and my father's relationship have been strained recently, but I still wanted to know the answer to the golden question, what the eff?
My father and I talked, and I occasionally pried for why I was there, as my heart sank more as more ideas came to me, 'Are my parents getting a divorce?' Being the main thought. Eventually, I am taken home.
And then all was disillusioned, the veil lifted away, the iron curtain, dissolved.
"Son, someone recorded you 'doing it' in the school bathroom."
What. WHAT. Oh my god. Why me. Yep. Someone recorded me. I kept a straight face for about 2 minutes before BREAKING DOWN, even more so than my dad's truck a month before it was permanently broken. My public school is now off limits.
In the aftermath, my mom broke down. Trying to find me a new school, while dealing with all her previous chores. I felt bad, and told her I would do the research. She said she wanted to do the research, as she thought that I didn't need more stress. I mayveven have to go to a school district outside my city, or get homeschooled.
TL : DR: I jerked off in a bathroom and now it's on the internet. Also, I can't go to public school anymore.
cmoyes: I don't know who is creepier the one doing it or the one filming it?
Otfd: Person filming it obviously.
shinpoo: Def the one filming. Who does that? Everyone knows a teen is gonna wiggle his pickle at some point in his life but who tf records anyone doing anything in the baño. That's weird AF.
cmoyes: Yeah but it's equally messed up someone is jacking off in a school bathroom I think they are both mega creeps.
shinpoo: Nah, it's not. You've clearly never experienced nut bust. You gotta wriggle the jiggler no matter where you are. Plus, it depends on the person on how horny they get sometimes you just gotta explode. If you don't then nut bust hits you at night ;)
cmoyes: Unfortunately he needs to find a girlfriend or another method, having zero self control isn't normal.
shinpoo: You make it sound so easy. Ain't as easy as you make it sound.
| 8 | 1.625 | |
1654191088 | 1654197530 | t3_v3e79p | t5_2to41 | 27 | FitYou5669: Tifu by “emotionally cheating” on my boyfriend.
I have been dating this guy for about 9 months. For the last 4 months, things got bad and he got emotionally abusive. I couldn’t take it anymore. I finally broke up with him. He was really rude at first, but then the next day he kept begging me to take him back and that he’ll change. I also quickly caught feelings for this other guy. The begging went on for hours. I finally gave in. I hate myself for giving in, especially for my own happiness and because I liked someone else because I lost interest due to how he was treating me. We stayed together again for about a week. I finally said I liked the other guy. He called me a pathetic cheating bitch, and that I was more pathetic than he was. The name calling, insulting, went on for hours. I ended up crying to my mom about it. I fell asleep watching tv that night. The next morning (today) at school I saw him again. During second period, he was telling all his friends that I cheated on him. They started to laugh at me, insult me, and call me all sorts of names. He kept commenting on my looks and my body, and even my hygiene saying that it smelled bad down there. I had enough, and went over to him. I grabbed his hair and yanked his head back and told him to shut the hell up, then ran outside to the bathroom before I started crying, as I am very sensitive. I know, immature of me to do in the middle of class, but he pushed me off the edge. While I was out of class he kept telling the class about of shitty of a girlfriend I was, and the insulting continued. As I was walking in the halls, his friends continued to insult m, stating that I was a bitch, a cheater, a hoe, and that I physically abused him. I have never hurt him until today, when we weren’t even together anymore. I ended up going home early. I know I deserve all of this. I feel so incredibly stupid.
TL;DR Emotionally cheated on my boyfriend in a relationship i didn’t really want to be in
crimsontape: That's not emotional cheating. This isn't cheating...
marcuslwelby: I agree with crimsontape here. You're broke up . It's not cheating.
| 3 | 9 | |
1654191676 | 1654204093 | t3_v3ef88 | t5_2to41 | 338 | mmmeverydaythrowaway: TIFU by ordering Chinese food
TIFU by ordering Chinese food.
I was at work and was about 20 minutes from going on my lunch break and gave a coworker to pick two options between Chinese places, one that I’ve had and was familiar with and one that was new. Coworker chose the new place and I ordered what I normally get from my familiar place.
It was really good and filled me up as a meal and I enjoyed it a lot.
Unfortunately unbeknownst to me the food there apparently was destined to destroy my stomach and dignity because my stomach was starting to hurt about forty five minutes later and when I went to fart, it was not a fart. I shat my pants at work and had to HUSTLE to get my underwear cleaned off and in a bag.
I was standing over the bathroom we had with the sink on high and so much hand soap in my hands just scrubbing and scrubbing. I was panicking so bad.
Nobody walked in on me and luckily it’s not on my pants and I’m good now.
Always go with the familiar option. I have learned that the unfamiliar option should be explored at home where a washer and dryer will always be handy.
TL:DR I ate new Chinese food that my stomach didn’t agree with and I crapped my pants.
MikeTakrelyt: Usually the whole process — from the time you swallow food to the time it leaves your body as feces — takes about two to five days. I believe there was something wrong inside your colon already and the food just made the Barrel overflow
mmmeverydaythrowaway: Gastrocolic reflex maybe ?
MikeTakrelyt: Good point. I can remember always needing to take a dump when I was a Teenager almost every time i ate spice burgers about an hour later
Objective_Reality232: What is a spice burger? Sounds pretty good to me
MikeTakrelyt: Sorry, i didn't know the wors for meatball at the time of my comment, so I just took the thought of a thick, spicy burger patty instead
| 6 | 56.333333 | |
1654192605 | 1654206084 | t3_v3er8q | t5_2to41 | 83 | ohgawdamioldnow: TIFU by trusting something I really shouldn't have.
This happened like 10 min ago.
I believe that I have just earned a notch on my belt. This has never happened to me before. I don't know how to feel really, but I would assume that it's very common for this to happen. There's even sayings about it. I've heard multiple wise people voice this before. Seems like it's important for people to know, yet I had disregarded it for years until today.
People say about getting older to "never trust a fart".
I'm sure you can see where this is going.
I had no sensation to shit at the time. Had already gone twice today which is normal for me as I have a fast metabolism. I'm on the couch, on the lap top. I feel a fart coming. One of those ones that it's one fart but comes out in multiple small ones. Well on what I thought was gonna be the last one, I heard a popping. Like a wet pop. Like that whatever material made the bubble was wet, but thick.
I immediately looked up from my computer. I voiced "did I really just shit myself?" My cat looked at me. I said "I think I just shit myself." she slow blinked at me and went back to sleeping.
Yes I did.
I understand this is common, as every one farts and shits. But this was the first time for me. I feel I've gained so much wisdom.
TL;DR: I trusted a fart, which has never been an issue for myself before and I shit my pants.
Agile-Ad751: This just happened to me a week I ago and I ran to the bathroom like what the hell? 😂
imsadandrad: Hi sorry if this is weird but i clicked on your profile and you seem very cool. i hope your plant is ok and you are very good at makeup!!!!
Agile-Ad751: That is so sweet thank you! Have a good day!!
| 4 | 20.75 | |
1654192060 | 1654198431 | t3_v3ek58 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Ok_Refrigerator7378: TIFU by using orange juice to make rice.
TIFU by using OJ to make rice. Well it happened 10 years ago but here we go.
When I was 14 and starting to get more into the creative side of cooking I would mix things without fully thinking through how it may taste. This being said I was watching Chef at Home with Michael Smith and he made some rice using a mix of apple juice and broth. I thought it sounded fun and since I was making dinner I thought id give it a try.
One problem I had no broth or apple juice but I did have OJ. I decided to cook the rice in just OJ and as it started boiling I knew I messed up. It smelled horrific. I was into deep so I dumped the rice in and when it was done I tasted it and I kid you not it was the worst thing I ever tasted. I tried to fix it up with thai chili sauce, soy sauce and a few other thing. It was not salvageable so I tossed it.
I was pretty embarrassed but luckily no one was home so I scrapped it and made some meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes. I made sure to clean the dishes and even take the rice trash out but I guess the smell never went away. Anyway my dad gets home and we enjoy dinner before him saying did you make something else? I went red and sort of shook my head. He could tell I was lying so I admitted it, he just laughed and we had a really nice meal together.
Overall it was an awesome experience but not one of my proudest moments.
TL;DR Don't make rice using OJ it tastes and smells worse than anything I have ever eaten.
Kneadless: Today I fucked up by reading this post.
Officially leaving this sub…
Ridiculous the amount of “this happened X years ago” posts. I want to know how you fucked up today bud.
Ok_Refrigerator7378: Lol good thing I don't care what randoms on the internet want xD
Also im not your buddy, pal!
Kneadless: Agreed!
If this sub actually had solid posts from today you wouldn’t even be posting on it 🤠
Woah now…
I’m not your pal, friend.
Ok_Refrigerator7378: I probably still would xD
Damnit im not your friend, guy.
Kneadless: Well then it seems we’ll have to agree to disagree…
For now…
And you Nancy I’m not your guy, (insert vague identifying word here)
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1654194462 | 1654210831 | t3_v3fg2p | t5_2to41 | 7 | nqa5164: TIFU by sending my exes flowers
so for some background, i am a gay man, i had a really traumatic childhood and was abandoned by my parents when i was 7, grew up in foster care, never stayed in one school district for more than a year, so i have no friends or family from childhood and as an adult I tend to sabotage relationships and frequently overstep boundaries.
so my exes; ex 1 (call him Steve). Steve and I dated 3 years ago and i fell madly in love with him. he was everything i could ever have imagined in a person. kind, compassionate, loving, mentally and emotionally available etc. but i blew it. i ruined that relationship around this time in 2019. i struggled with it, begged him to forgive me, begged him to come back but he didn’t and i slowly moved on.
then there’s ex 2 (call him James). James and I started dating in January of this year. James was very similar to Steve, we connected quickly and passionately but it just didn’t work out on his end because I was so distant bc i was afraid to lose him. again, once he ended things i burned the bridge.
fast forward to the end of May and i’m out at the bar one night and i run into Steve (i live in a major US city so this was pretty strange). Steve and I got talking and did some shots and eventually he came home with me. we talked a lot and he stayed the night. i fell back in love immediately. the next morning Steve left and said we would talk more later. Eventually he decided that he didn’t want to reopen everything and just wanted to have everything end on a good note. i struggled with that a lot but respected that decision. then yesterday, his birthday, came. i got really drunk the night before and got really sad and decided to send him a really pretty flower arrangement. after that i started thinking about James and decided to do the same.
here’s the fucked up part though, neither of them ever gave me their address. they had sent me photos from home (on apple it shows location in the photos) and I used that to find their address. i don’t know why i did that, i feel awful for doing it and cannot imagine their horror after receiving flowers from an ex who they never gave their address to.
i forgot all about it until the next day when i got a confirmation email of the delivery to James. I tried to cancel the one to Steve but it was too late. I didn’t leave my name on the cards so they don’t officially know it’s from me but i gather they can put the pieces together. i feel like an asshole.
tl;dr sent my exes flowers when they didn’t give me their addresses
Gunner166: OP, you didn’t FU. However, these men seem to have a different perception of your relationship. How serious could these relationships have been to these men if they never shared where they lived with you? I’m not trying to minimize your feelings, rather their commitment. Seems odd to be in a relationship where one SO has never been the others home. GL and I hope you achieve your desired outcome.
nqa5164: we’re all in our early/mid 20s and they both live with their parents so like, i had been over a couple times just passing thru but never had their address
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1654195002 | 1654195100 | t3_v3fn8e | t5_2to41 | 1 | Ecstatic-Milk4816: TIFU by realizing i didnt
[removed]
Ephidiel: Wtf
Ecstatic-Milk4816: Ikr
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1654196231 | 1654236518 | t3_v3g3g0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | samothious: TIFU by unlocking my phone
So today, I (m28) went with my SO (f29) to her parents house to visit. It was a good time and we played with the dog, talked about the Johnny Depp trial, had some laughs, and ate some delicious food. Mind you it's the day after she has gotten back from a week long trip away from me so we both really missed each other. I'm driving back home and she's in the passenger seat playing music on my phone, which I unlocked and gave to her to put music on. After a few songs play she's like "oh I wanna put another song on!" but my phone was locked. She's tried putting it up to my face to unlock it with face ID but it didn't work. She set the phone down on her lap and I picked it up and put my passcode in, turning the phone away from her while doing so. For some reason this really pissed her off. She said something along the lines of why'd you do that? To which I said, "so you can put a song on what do you mean?" As I tried handing the phone back to her. She didn't take it and gave me a weird look. I put the phone on its holder on my dash and continued driving. She's continues saying that was weird, that was sus, and other things like this. I was like what do you mean? She goes on to say that like 2 weeks ago when she was asking me to unlock my phone I said oh just put in the passcode (which I thought she knew, but she didn't), but now I was turning the phone away from her which was super suspect. To me what I did is totally normal and regular practice for me with anyone because I don't share any passwords with anybody (I also work in IT). She hasn't talked to me since we got home with the last thing she said was she can't trust me because I turned the phone away while putting in my passcode. We've always made sure to resolve any issues or arguments in the past soon as we face them but this feels deeper. I think I fucked up. I'm now having a super shitty day and feel like trash and like I'm losing her.
TL;DR - I was driving home w my gf and put in my passcode without letting her see it and now she won't talk to me.
keurg1s: Been there. Consider adding her face to your face id if you got nothing to hide as a sign of liniency, but the doubt may always be there in her mind because this wasn’t handled right away. She may or may not get over this with time, but maybe giving her access to it will improve things and slowly recover after a while. Best of luck.
Tsjernobull: Why would op do that. You dont need to live one life to live a life together. Op's girl has trust issues. She needs to deal with those issues, and op can help her and support her. But he doesnt need to add her face to his phone
keurg1s: Disclaimer: not a professional, dr, or expert in this subject. Had a similar experience once and the above solved it for me. Apologies if my opinion upset anyone lol.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1654197546 | 1654200660 | t3_v3gkt7 | t5_2to41 | 13 | spacecowboy420aj: TIFU by messaging another woman while on a first date.
So this was actually last night not today.
I live in a remote area where basically any large town or city is a couple of hours drive away or you can take a boat across the water which is much quicker.
Now the reason I live here is because my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer (my parents retired up here years ago) and my dad had a stroke before she passed away, so I have kind of fallen in to the role of his carer.
Having any kind of social life is difficult but recently I felt like I am in a much better place mentally and ready to date and hopefully meet someone nice.
I have been using the app bumble and talking to a few different women.
Yesterday I went on my first date in three years with someone I had met on the app, we drunk a lot of whisky and the date was going very well, we had met at 3pm and it was now around 9.30pm, I had also been talking for the past few days with a woman who actually lives in my tiny remote town and the day before she had mentioned she had anxiety.
So my date leaves to use the bathroom and I see I have received a message from the person who lives near me, and that message had been sent hours ago, I didn't want her to think I was ghosting her so I started to type "I'm on a date will message you later", I got as far as "I'm" when my date returned from the bathroom to see over my shoulder that I was typing on the app, well she flipped out, started screaming and shouting at me and calling me names.
Now I know this was a dick move and I'm sure it wouldn't have made her feel good, I tried apologise and to explain that this is our first date and it's not like I'm cheating on her but every time I opened my mouth she just shouted at me more.
Eventually she said something really vile, apparently she'd dated a guy who looked at CP and said "you're worse than that paedophile guy" at this point I walked away and went home.
She deleted me from the app, not that I would like to date her again after what she said, but I would like to have been able to sincerely apologise, I certainly didn't set out with intentions to hurt or upset anyone.
I did speak with some friends after who all used the phrase "well you dodged a bullet there" and asked if I would've reacted that way if it was the other way round, which of course I would not, I might have made a snidey comment like "oh keeping your options open are we?" but honestly I don't think I'd even have said anything, it was our first date we are not in a relationship or anything.
However I feel incredibly guilty for how much I had clearly upset her and now today with my hangover I keep reliving it in my head.
It's safe to say after this was my experience on my first date in three years I won't be rushing out to go on anymore.
I don't know if she uses reddit or would ever see this but I would like to sincerely apologise, it was a dick move and I've learnt a valuable lesson, if I do ever go on another date I will turn my phone off!
If it's relevant we are both 41, and probably both of us should know better. However not that it is an excuse but we were also both heavily inebriated.
TL;DR
Went on a bumble date, 6 hours in to it I responded to another woman on the app I had been chatting to also, date caught me and went ballistic.
Edit: Thank you kind redditors, your comments have really helped and made me feel much better about this.
simptom61: So... The girl you were messaging, she cool?
spacecowboy420aj: Seems it, but we video called when I was on the boat home last night, and she was lovely but I was very drunk and a little overzealous, she then messaged to say she's just out of a long term relationship so doesn't want to rush in to anything, but to be honest I'd just be happy to have someone to hang out with here anyway.
simptom61: Awesome! Hope it works out
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1654198034 | 1654219830 | t3_v3gqxc | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting snapchat and destroying my friends small amount of trust in others.
[deleted]
JayTheLegends: Sounds like a her problem not yours.. especially after her over reaction… the fact that you didn’t recognize that from the onset is of greater concern…
Yetanotherthroaway3: They have serious issues with trust that exist for a number of good reasons.
JayTheLegends: So considering how she reacted she’s not likely to get over it. Don’t assume you can change an old dogs tricks..
Yetanotherthroaway3: Maybe they won't learn anything but i've been trying to help them through their trials and I want them to know there's someone out there who cares. So i'm not sure I care to accept if they can change. If they dont reply or unblock me after the letter arrives thats fine. Ill have said my piece but theres a guilt to me that i've revived this paranoia that wracks them.
In any case its in their hands now.
JayTheLegends: The fact of the matter is didn’t betray her. She can’t tell the difference. That’s not something that is easy to overcome she needs to fundamentally change her perspective, and only she can do that.
Yetanotherthroaway3: I hope she does. But time will tell.
| 7 | 1.571429 | |
1654198001 | 1654198209 | t3_v3gqhi | t5_2to41 | 7 | Im_Not_A_Human_4: TIFU by putting my fingers inside the Air Conditioner
I (17) am an idiot as you can read from the title. So the story goes like, it was summer n an extremely hot day. So I go into my room and turn on my Air Conditioner (AC) and set it to 16°C (60.8 F) and fan speed high so it can cool the room faster.
But obviously the AC is gonna take a while to bring the room temperature from 33°C (91.4 F) to 16°C. But I am an impatient human being n because I was sweating profusely I stood on my bed n put my face towards the AC to get hit by the cool air. That wasn't engh for me, I decided to put my fingers inside the AC outlet hoping it will atleast cool my fingers fast (yep I'm dumb).
Inspite of being 17 yrs old I didn't know there are high speed rotating blades inside the AC. And as soon as I stuck my left hand inside the AC (my right hand was on its way to go inside!) the blades rotating inside the AC ripped the entire nail of 4 of my fingers off its nail bed and sliced the tip of my fingers (no wonder coz i even set the fan speed high lol). I then immediately pulled my left hand out with the tip of all 4 of my fingers bleeding profusely (my thumb escaped because it is short). On top of hurting myself badly, I even broke the AC blades with my fingers n the blades broke into many pieces and the AC shut down.
I obviously cover my mess up n go tell my dad that the AC broke by itself n i did nothing, with my left hand bleeding which I hid behind my back.. lol
My dad still doesn't knw the real reason why my AC broke and he had to pay a lot of money to get it fixed.
TL;DR I put my fingers inside the Air Conditioner(AC), almost chopping the tip of my fingers, ended up breaking my AC and lied to my parents that the AC broke by itself.
Rosey991: Jesus are you okay???
Im_Not_A_Human_4: Yeah I'm alright thanks!
Band aid kinda helped me lol as I couldn't get proper first aid as my parents wldve found out.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1654199696 | 1654215065 | t3_v3hctg | t5_2to41 | 101 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my legs
[deleted]
RedPepperJ32: I had the same obsession but luckily my mom got me some Nair and one of those plastic razors that's doesn't have a blade.
drebinf: > Nair
My high school girlfriend was using Nair, it was hot in the house (early 1970s, relatively poor, no A/C) so she was sweaty. Wiped her forehead ... and half her right eyebrow!
RedPepperJ32: That's hilarious 😂
| 4 | 25.25 | |
1654201486 | 1654201913 | t3_v3i0bp | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU By Breaking Up With My Ex.
[deleted]
Polygonic: Nice fetish fiction bro
Careless-Rock-2027: I feel better
| 3 | 0 | |
1654201672 | 1654242856 | t3_v3i2qo | t5_2to41 | 11,206 | Lokz97: TIFU by thinking I was getting chub rub
I woke up this morning, my wife let me sleep in. So I got up after everyone else in the house did and had my morning coffee and time with my family. Around 10 am we decided to go outside and play, so I threw some jeans on and got a shirt on and we went outside, at this point I thought that my buttcheeks were sweaty and rubbing together, since we have been doing a lot of renovating work which was really sweaty and a lot of movement. No big deal I thought, I'll just walk kind of slowly and minimally today so as not to exacerbate it. Skip ahead a couple hours and it seems to be getting worse. It feels like the friction between my cheeks has been worse than ever and was seriously starting to cause some major discomfort and pain. I walked up to my wife on the couch and said "Hey, so weird question, would you check my ass and tell me where I'm chafing" we are very open with each other so she obliged. I pull out my cheeks and back it up to where she can see, as I spread them to she can see, I thought she was pointing at where the sore is, but no. She pulls out from right next to my sweet chocolate starfish, a small metal spring, a little bigger than a pen spring. We called it a springleberry.
TLDR; Thought my buttcheeks were rubbing together, turns out it was a metal spring.
ElectricPaladin: Does anyone else want to know where the hell the spring came from‽
Lokz97: We wish we knew how it got there
TalkingAboutMyissues: Probably your mattress, check for holes in it, if the mattress is older than 7 years the springs could be wearing and pop out, you're supposed to relapse a mattress every 7 years after all
Sentrion: I don't think mattress springs are "a little bigger than a pen spring". A lot bigger, sure. But not a little bigger.
TalkingAboutMyissues: Should see the springs in my mum's bed then. She's had her mattress longer than I've been alive so it's older than 17 but the springs in that have been compressed with time and it's just like lying on a studded metal board.
Thanks to her unwillingness to get a new mattress I need to pull her out of bed in the morning cause the springs are recking her back and she can't get up without help. Once up ahead can't move her legs, she has to shuffle.
A good mattress replaced consistently is so important.
Sentrion: I didn't say you shouldn't replace your mattress. I just said the springs in your mattress aren't that small.
TalkingAboutMyissues: Sorry, my point was if the mattress is old enough the springs can get compressed to a couple centimeters long and I sort went on a tangent
Sentrion: Even so, though, the springs simply are much wider than any pen spring. You could probably fit 100 pen springs inside of one mattress spring. So whatever was in this dude's buttcrack probably wasn't a mattress spring.
TalkingAboutMyissues: Guess he just has a wierd kink then
| 10 | 1,120.6 | |
1654202754 | 1654203215 | t3_v3ih2o | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking up with my BF And Now I Had Became Is S3x Doll
[deleted]
IkkoMikki: If we're going to turn this subreddit into fiction can it at least be good.
Careless-Rock-2027: What are some good places to post my stories?
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1654200833 | 1654288300 | t3_v3hrve | t5_2to41 | 135 | morgessa: TIFU by unleashing my nerd onto an unsuspecting religious customer
Obligatory this did not happen today, but several months ago.
I tutor community college students in Spanish. One day, I was working with a student and going over the two Spanish verbs "to be" (it's more nuanced than this, but for simplicity's sake, one is used when talking about more permanent/long-term things like origin/identity/nationality, physical descriptions, professions, etc. and the other one more with temporary states of being like mood, health, location, etc.) She joked that while she understood the difference, she needed to use the "permanent" one when she was saying "I am tired", because she had several young children and was trying to go to school, and being tired was her "permanent state".
We had a laugh about it, and then I told her there will also be situations where that distinction is not as clear-cut and not necessarily logical every time, but rather needs to be memorized. E.g. the Spanish word for "bored" and "boring" is one and the same, so if you use the "permanent" version of "to be" with it, you are saying you are a boring person (identity), but if you use the "temporary" one, you are saying you are bored at the moment (state of being). Another example would be when stating what time it is, you need to use the "permanent" version, even though time is in constant motion. On the other hand, stating that someone is dead requires the "temporary" one, even though there's not really much wiggle room there.
Here's where IFU: being a D&D/sci-fi and fantasy-loving dumba$$, I chuckled: "Well, of course it makes sense that it's 'temporary'; I mean, there's always necromancy, right?" SILENCE. I was seriously considering dropping out of the Zoom call and claiming internet problems, but then she quietly said she was thinking more along the lines of religion-based eternal life/resurrection, and I sheepishly mumbled "or that, yeah". The session was soon wrapped up.
She has not complained to my supervisor so far, so it looks like I won't get in trouble for it (I told my supervisor myself, and she thought it was hilarious, fwiw), but for a couple of days there I was seriously nervous.
TL; DR without thinking, casually mentioned necromancy to a potentially religious customer.
johndeerdrew: Lol I wouldn't worry too much. I play d&d with my pastor. Religious people can still enjoy and understand fantasy.
Tastewell: I first played D&D with my Southern Baptist pastor's son (back when the books still had Gary Gygax' name on them). No conflicts at all (although one of our friends had to stop playing because his mom freaked out about demons).
johndeerdrew: Yeah my parents wouldn't let us play in the 80s but I'm an adult now and I can do what I want lol. They also wouldn't let us play magic the gathering. It had magic in the name so it had to be evil I guess. Oh well. I'm glad we have moved past that as a society.
Tastewell: Don't be so sure. My work regularly puts me in touch with people who not only believe angels and demons are real, but that they take an active role in our lives. These people are adults, many of whom run businesses (like, over $5 million/year businesses), and they believe demons are an active threat in the real world. Chances are you've done business with them, or know someone who has.
"Society" hasn't advanced as far as you might think.
johndeerdrew: Oh I believe angels and demons are real. But they aren't the ever present entities that interfere with our lives the way popular media would have you believe. Also what I was referring to is, in the 80s and 90s parents were super scared in the Bible belt that anything that mentioned magic or demons or anything like that would polute their child and make them turn evil. Basically how the media portrays video games now. It was a weird time. If you didn't have to go through it, consider yourself lucky.
| 6 | 22.5 | |
1654203340 | 1654261287 | t3_v3ioix | t5_2to41 | 3 | Only_Apathy_FromMe: TIFU by pranking my friend and accidentally traumatizing her instead
A few weeks ago, I (24M) invited my friend Erika (26F) over to hang out at my apartment. We've been friends ever since high school and to be frank, I've always had the hots for her. So anyway, we spent the evening at our place basically watching funny YouTube videos together.
That evening, I was feeling so horny, and as my air conditioner was broken, Erika eventually took off her thick hoodie and she was wearing nothing but a skimpy spaghetti strap tank top and her workout shorts. She kept making jokes about how uncomfortable her bra was from absorbing all her sweat, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. While she was sitting on my couch, I came up behind her and grabbed her shoulder straps and yanked her tank top down so that she was covered with nothing on top but her bra. Immediately she started screaming like a banshee, and I apologized and told her it was just a prank, but she wouldn't hear any of it. She ran out of my apartment crying her eyes out, and that's the last time I saw her. I've been messaging Erika ever since telling her how sorry I am and that I wasn't thinking straight at that time, but so far, she's not responding.
I mean I really did think it was just a prank. Her reaction caught me so off guard and I didn't think she'd get so traumatized. I keep thinking to myself, all she had to do was pull her top back up. I'm getting pissed off at her not replying to my messages. This is nothing more than "locker room behavior" isn't it???
TL;DR: I (24M) pranked my friend (26F) by giving her an "enforced wardrobe malfunction" and I think I've scarred her.
GuiltyConclusion7983: Holy shit I can't believe what I just read. Surely you knew that was really wrong right?
Ocean_Spice: Apparently not, considering he’s now the one (somehow) mad at her for it and trying to justify the fact that he sexually assaulted somebody.
| 3 | 1 | |
1654204181 | 1654205968 | t3_v3izv5 | t5_2to41 | 19 | Ok_Difficulty2440: TIFU by sticking a cactus inside my vagina (f21)
[removed]
jab6793: This cannot be real.
Sure_I_Kno_A_Baggins: In another post they talk about their penis...
Ok_Difficulty2440: I share this account with my brother
Sure_I_Kno_A_Baggins: Oh, well that makes perfect sense! I regularly discuss my genitals with my siblings.
Ok_Difficulty2440: glad to found someone who is also doing incest, tought I was the only one doing incest with my brother
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1654206940 | 1654226298 | t3_v3jzf7 | t5_2to41 | 22 | ConnectConference691: TIFU by falling for a scam because I wanted to be a sugar baby
Disclaimer: I swear a lot in this
Hey reddit, what it do? This is going to be my first post and I can't believe it's going to be under TIFU. Let me get this out of the way, I know you're going to call me stupid. I'm not going to say "I know you're going to call me stupid, but hear me out," because even the title to this post is absolutely ridiculous. I hope I look back at this whole event and laugh about it one day. Also, at many points while reading this, you might think to yourself "don't do it," or "turn back," but I'm tellin' ya now, I didn't.
I(19m) like to think I'm a pretty smart guy when it comes to scams. I help out my grandma (who loves to click on spam emails) with her computer viruses and all that. I've avoided plenty of scams and people trying to get money out of me. I thought I could identify almost any scam, but ya know...here I am. Anyways, two days ago, I got a notification on snapchat. Someone added me by searching for my username. I thought that was odd, because I don't have my username or whatever placed anywhere on social media. The only way someone could add me like that is if they knew someone who is already knows my username or they're a bot. (This is a very important red flag that my dumbass forgot about until after everything happened). I thought it was just a bot or something, so I wanted to mess around a bit and waste their time. Their profile had a low snap score, which is an identifier for bot accounts. My friends and I like to do a bit of trolling with these accounts, and we get a few laughs out of it. The account that added me asked if I was down to be a sugar baby. I thought "Probably a fake account, but fuck it, let's see if I can make some money." They started telling me about their life, where they are from, and what they do for fun. I was basically just like "oh shit, it's a real person," and immediate forgot about how they actually added me. She sent me a picture of herself, and I started talking about what I do for fun and what not. She told me that she's involved with a couple charities and an orphanage that she donates money to. I was just eating it all up man let me tell ya. If you told me "holy shit, there's gullible on the ceiling," I'd look up. She told me I'd be getting $500 every two weeks but each check would be more than that, and she'd instruct me on what to do with the rest. She wanted me to send the rest of the check to the orphanage. I thought that was really weird, but hey, I didn't care cause I was gonna get $500, ya boy could use some cash. I had a thought in the back of my head, "Is she laundering money or something? What would I tell the cops if they found out." Yea, I was ready to be involved in something I thought was illegal all for money. For a person I just met too.
At this point we exchanged contact information, and started talking about the money. Some of her texts came back almost immediately after I texted something, and they were formatted in small paragraphs cut out of order. Literally, I thought, "Must be an android," and just excused it. Idk man, Androids are stupid. Didn't bother me. She asked me if I wanted to cash the check now. I said yes and almost the whole rest of our conversations were about me getting the money and where to send it. She asked what my daily limit for mobile deposits was. I didn't know, and couldn't find any information about it (I use a local smaller bank, so maybe that explains it). She was putting so much pressure on me to find this piece of information out, that my anxiety spiked a bit. Why tf would she care about that? How much is she gonna send me? She kept saying "I have to consult my financial officer." Wtf is a financial officer? Maybe I really am dumb. I asked about it and she said he just helps her out with finances. Seems legit. Honestly I ignored it because...$500. And hey, maybe financial officers really do exist. Then she finally sends the check ($1500), but bro, it was in my spam email. This check had red flags all over it. Her name wasn't on the check, the check wasn't from the state she told me she lived in, and the email was from her "financial officer". I started thinking that she was taking money from her husband's account or something, and needed a middle man for sending it elsewhere. Did she really need a sugar baby? Why would she trust some random dude on the internet with doing her dirty work? Literally, every scenario I could think of (no matter how ridiculous) I never thought it was a scam, and I'd just be like "Yea, this random person on the internet is pretty legit." But she never told me she was married, so the husband thing was up in the air. I deposit the check with my online banking and I wait for it to clear. She then told me where to send the cash to. It was some other dudes venmo, and there was no explanation for it. She didn't say it was the director of the orphanage or anything. She was just like "Send it here Dear." I looked at this guys transaction history, and it looked legit until I saw daily transactions between him and some dude named Abdul. I thought it was sketchy, but then I was like "Bro don't be racist," so I ignored it. See the pattern? She kept texting and calling me the next day (yesterday) about if I got the check yet. She needed me to send screen shots of my account to see of I had gotten it yet and I sent them no problem (I covered everything up except what my balance was, which was around $750). It seemed like she was very paranoid about it. I chopped it up to me being her first sugar baby (didn't know that for a fact). She kept bugging me about it, but I was busy that day working and hanging out with friends. At one point she asked if I could send $500 now, then the rest the next day. No way was I going to do anything until the check cleared. I'm not some sucker who's gonna let you scam me (smfh). She told me it was for her brother's friend who got into an accident and proceeded to send me this picture of this dude in a full body cast. I asked her "Why don't you withdraw the money yourself?" and I don't even remember what she said, but she said an excuse that apparently I didn't question. I said something like "I trust you, but imma wait till the check clears to be safe." Then she sends a screenshot of some other account (which she described as another one of her sugar babies) that had some money in it. She told me "I wouldn't send you proof if I was scamming you, but whatever." Around 11pm last night, I checked my bank account, and wouldn't you know it $1500 appeared in my account. I immediately venmoed the random dude $1000 and I went to sleep. $500 secured boys.
This morning, I felt so compelled to check my account, I don't know why. There was just a feeling I had, and couldn't shake it. I log in to my account and this was the balance -$250. My heart dropped. I lowkey started to panic. I couldn't move. That was all the money I have right now. I was overcome with all these emotions that I started gagging. I texted the "sugar mama" saying I have no money and sent her screenshot of my account. The first thing she said was "How come you have $2250 in your account?" Guess she can't do basic math or read. I had $750 + her $1500. -$250 was the available balance, and $2250 was the current balance. The only thing I could piece together was that $1500 was missing. I looked it up online because the money was there last night. Best piece of advice I saw "Go to the bank immediately." I got ready, and went to the bank without a second thought. I was so sick to my stomach I thought I owed the bank $250. I get to talking with someone and they ask what the check was for. I said "uhhhh, you know what, imma be honest with you, it was from someone that wanted to send me money, like a sug-sugar mama." She asked about the $1000 and where I sent it. I said "She told me that she would give me $1500 and that $1000 should be sent to an orphanage, which I thought was kinda weird," and let me tell ya, her look said it all. This was the first time I said all this out loud, and my god did I sound like an effing idiot. I didn't have time to be embarrassed, I needed to know what was going on. The woman helping me out told me to have a seat and someone will be with me. Waited a good couple minutes and another woman came out and told me everything. The check was fraudulent, and she pointed out areas on the check that were doctored. She said that there have been many checks deposited with the bank that look exactly like that. She asked what the check was for, and I told her that the check was from someone looking for a sugar baby, and she said that that was how they make their money. They scam people. I got scammed. I was actually dumbfounded like "Oh my gosh! How could this happen? I didn't see THAT coming." Because the $1500 was removed from my account, I didn't have enough money for the $1000 I sent this dude to actually go through, so they were going to cancel the transaction and I was to get my money back. She said something about me learning a lesson, but I was so relieved I was getting my money back. I didn't even hear her the first time. I asked like three times "Is there anything else I should know or do?" because I wanted to make sure. She assured me that I'll get the money back and that I should monitor my account and change the password. I asked if I could shake their hand because they helped alleviate my stress and helped me out big time. They looked a little confused, but I was so grateful they helped me that thank you wasn't enough. I said "Well, now you guys have a story to tell with the family tonight." or something like that, and they looked even more confused lmao. Then I walked out. The whole time I was there, I wasn't embarrassed, I didn't worry about people judging me, I just thought about my money.
I took a pretty long drive to cool off because I was so mad. At myself. How could I fall for that? I felt deep shame the whole drive, which was about an hour. Once I got home, I replayed me walking into the bank and the conversations I had. That's when I turned beat red, and was so freaking embarrassed. Like bro, I straight up told them my sugar mama sent me money, I sent some money to an orphanage she told me about, and the check wasn't even real. I can't even with how embarrassing that sounds. I blocked this probably middle-aged dude on everything, and I'm kinda in a state of shell shock right now. I want to tell my friends about it, but I think I'll wait to do that when I'm ready to laugh at the whole thing myself. They'll flame the shit outta me. Reading this over and over again, I don't know how I effed up this badly. Maybe I'll chop it up to being a horndog, but crazy enough, yesterday one of my good friends gave me advice while we were talking about something unrelated. "blow your load, then think if you actually like the chick, because you need that clarity." Still scared to check my bank account.
This isn't even a throw away account, I deserve to be flamed
​
TL;DR "sugar mama" gave me money, told me to send money to an "orphanage", but the check she gave was fake so I sent all of my money instead. Didn't even have enough money in my account to make the transaction in the first place, so I'm getting it all back.
salsas10: Yeah a friend of mine also got scammed in a similar way.
She is a freelance artist. They employed her to do a commission. Sent her too much "by mistake" (oops added a zero teehee~). Started freaking her out on the phone, using threats of legal action for fraud if she didn't do bank transfers with the difference right away.
She fell for it and lost almost 1500.
Close to when she was done "reimbursing" them, their original payment disappeared from her account.
And because she did have money on her account and did not react fast enough she really lost the money.
Cherry on top of the sundae? She really did the work, sending the commission and all. So she worked for free. Got scammed twice.
Ragingbeast: So she didn't check that too much was actually sent before just sending back the difference? Like she just took their word for it that they sent too much?
salsas10: Oh no, she checked. It did appear on her account. But because it was fraudulent on their side, the bank canceled the transaction later after some final checks or sth. I don't quite remember the details to be honest.
I think it's linked to temporary balance or sth? When the transaction hasn't been completely checked but still appears on your account.
osgjps: If you’ve got a good history with the bank, they’ll give you credit on a check before it officially clears or bounces.
Now if you have a history of depositing checks that bounce, the bank will put a hold on the funds until it officially clears.
Makes things a bitch to pay for when the bank holds your paycheck because they keep bouncing.
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1654207123 | 1654214540 | t3_v3k1p0 | t5_2to41 | 7 | MalfunctioningOne149: TIFU by doing hit and run on a planter
Throwaway because it’s just bad practice to put potentially illegal things you’ve done on the Internet in a way that can be traced to you. I drive a full size cargo van for work. Not much happening at work today so I decide to go pick up some pizza for lunch. I can’t immediately decide where to park so I turn around in a parking lot so I can street park facing the correct way. I wanted to park where I didn’t have to back up as I can’t see a damned thing behind me and the backup alarm is annoying and makes everyone look at me. Anyway, I go to pull out into the street and barely register that there is a planter hanging from the street light. The kind the city puts up with flowers and shit to try to beatify the decaying downtown. I hear something hit the back of my van, see in my mirror that it’s the planter, and just keep going. I assume I just brushed the planter and go get my pizza. As I return I notice managed to knock down not only the planter, but also the whole metal attachment on the side of the pole and bent the ladder rack release arm on my van. I immediately decide it’s no bid deal and just drive off. A guy in a wheelchair saw the whole thing and stared good and long and this dude by a parked moped kinda shrugged at me as I drove by. Now I’m super paranoid I’m going to get the cops on my ass for some sort of hit and run or damage to property. What’s worse is that I was in a clearly marked company van with at least two witnesses. And to top it off, I’m on probation so any problem with the law and I could be jailed. So here I am, worrying I ruined my life, hoping it will be ok, and writing this on Reddit so they can use it as evidence to convict me.
TL;DR - Knocked down a planter hanging from a street pole. Freaking out about getting caught.
SlowRs: “Didn’t realise it happened”
MalfunctioningOne149: If they got me on camera, it’s pretty obvious I saw the damage.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1654207096 | 1654229001 | t3_v3k1cm | t5_2to41 | 23 | doofusdog: TIFU: Too Much Vitamin C
So I've got a touch of the remains of COVID-19, it wasn't too bad, but has left me feeling a bit off for about two months now, and then I got a regular cold on top of that.
So yesterday I got a pack of 60 500mg chewable vitamin C tablets and decided I would just have a massive dose of that to I dunno, see if that would kick it out...
So after popping them into my mouth while working all morning.. I finally realised I should look up the recommended dose. 1000mg = 2 tablets a day or maybe 4 if you're trying to recover from something.. So I counted the leftovers. I had in 4 hours consumed 33. so about 16 times too many. Maybe that maths is wrong, whatever, 33 is way too many.
Rumble rumble, turns out too much Vit C can cause bum trouble.
Off to the toilet I go, and poop, and then some more, then a lot more, then after 30 min I feel like I'm done. I've really scraped the bottom of the barrel. Empty. Feels good. But my leg has gone to sleep and the sensor light gave up and left me in the dark until I moved..
today I'll have 3 or 4. not 33.
​
​
TL;DR: ate 33 chewable vitamin C tablets like candy, spent 30min in the toilet emptying my bowels.
failureman69696969: Why not just eat oranges? They're delish.
doofusdog: Oh I eat plenty.
failureman69696969: Then there's no need for more vitamin c bud... right?
doofusdog: Yup
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1654208241 | 1654262938 | t3_v3kga5 | t5_2to41 | 97 | CluelessSurvivor: TIFU by filling gas in my rental
Hello friends,
I travel a lot for work and was doing a job close to Pasco Washington. My boss calls me later saying a customer in Idaho is having issues and they needed a tech there ASAP.
I punch in the address and had a nice 6 hour drive to Idaho, the land of potatos. As im driving and singing along to some Wu tang the car alerts me that I am low on fuel.
I get to the station, swipe my cc and proceed to fill up my tank. Then this guy comes busting out of the stall and starts yelling at me because I was doing his job and I wasn't trained to pump gas. I chuckled at him and said who tf needs to be trained to pump up gas. He said that the state of Oregon does not allow drivers to fill up their vehicles and requires a trained attendant to do so. Dumbest thing I have ever heard of
I apologized to the attendant and waited inside the vehicle while he finished me off... While I was waiting, I couldn't believe what he said and after a quick google search he was right.
**Since 1951, Oregon has legally required all gas stations to have attendants who fill motorists' gas tanks.**
Also found out New Jersey is the same thing, why is it that these 2 states have these laws?
​
TLDR: Oregon has a law where you can't fill up your own gas
SnootchieBootichies: NJ is the same (Jersey Shore song about not pumping gas, but pumping fists). Many towns in MA are like that as well, though not super common anymore.
CluelessSurvivor: Jeez that song makes so much more sense to me now.
Also thanks for reminding me DJ Pauly D was a thing
khameesonocreeper: Here in egypt all gas stations have someone to pump gas and another to clean your windshield as a complementary service free of charge however you are expected to give both of them a small tip
edwinhai: Do they actually work at the gast station? Or is it just kinda forcing you into a donation? same way they do with cleaning shoes
khameesonocreeper: No they actually have a uniform and cards and everything
| 6 | 16.166667 | |
1654209362 | 1654215978 | t3_v3kuft | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by agreeing to get my best friend pregnant via Turkey Baster
[deleted]
bigwillynilly: One could say she masturbasted
starliner2000: Doesn't sound like she was very good at it. I think she needs to find a true *master*baster.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1654211115 | 1654212695 | t3_v3lfx7 | t5_2to41 | 17 | ObiV4n_: TIFU by hitting my crush in the jaw
It happened a week ago. A mutual friend of me and my crush invited me to a little party at her place. It was supposed to be me, my crush, the mutual friend and one other girl who I don't know. FYI, I (17M) had never been to a party before, especially where I'm the only guy there surrounded by 3 women, but hey, fuck it, why not?
It all started pretty casual. We started off by watching a movie, then had a couple of drinks, and then we decided to play some monopoly. The girl I like had been overly touchy and flirty the whole evening, which I didn't mind since, you know, I like her and all. We sat next to each other, started playing the game, and during that she started getting more and more physical with me (pinching, tickling, even biting me a bit) in a playful manner. Here comes the fuckup.
It was my turn, and as I was rolling the dice she decided that it would be a great idea to bite one of my ribs (for some reason, girls being girls I guess), and because I was not expecting this kind of a move, my natural reflex was to fling my hand backwards, and so I did. It resulted in me hitting my crush, the girl I have been having strong feelings for for a long time, right in the jaw with the tip of my elbow.
We played it off cool, no big deal, no feelings hurt and shit, but I could see the disappointment and resentment in her eyes. I didn't cause any injuries (like I didn't break it or anything, not even a scratch), but she didn't touch or even really talk to me for the rest of the evening. Matter of fact, she's been really cold to me ever since. I've apologized a million times already and I explained that it was just a reflex, and from what I understand she's not holding any grudges against me. The 2 other girls are still joking about it though and my crush seems hesitant to even text me.
Did I really just completely fucking ruin my chances with this girl?
TL;DR I accidentally hit the girl I like in the jaw at a party and now she won't even touch or talk to me
RSwordsman: Sounds like it's now or never to tell her you like her and give her the chance to either forgive you or tell you never mind.
SufficientSherbert3: This.
RSwordsman: I kind of wish I had reddit when I was a teenager. *I guess it was around but in its infancy.
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1654212305 | 1654217014 | t3_v3lu7a | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking Tylenol Nightime instead of the regular stuff.
[deleted]
emptythots: Nah fam you good. A Tylenol pm won't show up in a drug test. Assuming you didn't do anything else, you're fine, don't sweat it
pikapika607: Nah like I said I rarely even drink hence then hangover (prob the fruity drinks lolz) and prob been a year or two since I smoked ganja
emptythots: No sweat bro, I smoke regularly but always flush properly before a screen. Waiting for my system to finish up its cleaning cycle currently, so taking basic 7 panel tests every other day and take Tylenol PMs to sleep this week as I've done excessive yard work and am sore as shit. Don't worry too much, as I say worrying only makes you suffer twice.
pikapika607: Gonna be a funny story among my coworkers when I come back to work.
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1654213996 | 1654277810 | t3_v3mdur | t5_2to41 | 131 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost sleeping with my teacher
[removed]
VentenRant: How did you not recognize him from his picture? I’m assuming he already knew you from yours? Why would he need therapy because he knew you? Seems like you have issues with the work you’ve chosen to do on the side.
yxcvbnm95: I just added an edit. In real life he doesn't look like the picture, it is very very flattering. And I do not have a picture of my face on my profile.
And do you think it's appropriate to want to have sex with a student?
I don't have a problem with my work, because I can chose my boundaries by myself. And those are that I don't want to have sex with my teacher.
VentenRant: You said yourself, you’re of age. He didn’t approach you on campus. I’d wager that many professors have sexual thoughts about their college students but it stops there.
You opened yourself up to the possibility with your side job. Unlucky? Perhaps. But you can’t fault him for having a loophole.
You shut him down after he asked within the app, which again, can’t fault him for the attempt when this rare door is open.
Now, if he continues to follow up after the fact, you can then carry on with you allegations of being a creep and needing therapy. At that point you can choose to expose him and yourself in order to deal with the consequences.
GrandBeanGrinder: Have to agree with this, unless her profile excludes anyone who recognises them. They were prepared to have sex with someone 20 y older without a second thought, but he is a creep? Slight double standards.
Yes, as you state, if he persists, then different story…
yxcvbnm95: I mean to me its really gross to sleep with your teacher so no I wouldn't have a problem with someone 20 years older than me but I would have a problem if it happens to be my teacher. It makes a huge difference
| 6 | 21.833333 | |
1654209265 | 1654245786 | t3_v3kt8i | t5_2to41 | 15 | sadbumblebee1: TIFU by not cutting my nails for 2 weeks
I like my nails short but they grow fast. Even faster when there’s sunshine. I literally cut my nails as short as possible but I can only get away with 2 weeks in the winter and 1.5 in the summer. I should have cut them by now, but life has been busy lol.
Puppy has an ear infection. Puppy hates ear drops. The cleaning solution we can squirt into her ear real quick, but the medicated solution comes out slower and is more expensive. Wife has been doing experimentation since the vet’s visit yesterday, and we figured out if we put the medicated stuff on our clean hands, puppy will allow us to just rub it into her ears. Gross bc she has an ear infection, but if we put gloves or cling film on it freaks her out. The things we do for love!
So I had a go about 3 hours ago and it went fine except puppy moved quick and my nails scraped against her little painful ear and now she is so unhappy she won’t even cuddle me. She didn’t let wife, who has previously done it without any problem, do it either. Puppy is big mad.
I still need to get the other ear and retry the first one as not much went in. Puppy was so mad and freaked out. She’s a little Staffy, about 11 months old, and a really good girl. If she wanted to hurt us, she absolutely could do some real damage. As it is, she was giving warning nips that I barely felt. I obviously backed off bc if she’s giving warning nips, she is not happy at all.
She has been napping for about 1.5 hours so imma have another go. Wish me luck.
TLDR I didn’t cut my nails and accidentally scratched my puppy while trying to put medicine on her.
Icy_Engine_7648: Well cut your bail before you try again
sadbumblebee1: Lol that was the first thing I did!
| 3 | 5 | |
1654216633 | 1654277323 | t3_v3n7bd | t5_2to41 | 23 | Throw-this-away-thx: TIFU by being a factor in ending a 15 year marriage.
This is ongoing but I just learned about the severity of it today. Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I was on a hook-up app, and connected with a very nice guy. We had a great time and at the end I asked if he wants to do this again (it wasn't supposed to be ongoing). He confessed to me that he's married and has been for 15 years, and that he likes me but it's up to me if I want to see him again.
Well, he was hot, handsome, smart, funny. He would have found someone else to have sex with so I said sure, we can be ongoing but sexually only. I let him know that I'm also looking for a long term thing so it works out because we can have our fun until I find someone to date and eventually be exclusive with.
LIKE A FUCKING GUILLOTINE I fell for him real fast, took about 2 weeks. I told him maybe we should stop seeing each other because I don't wanna have to let him go if I get too attached and he said "Too late, I'm already attached to you" and then we had more sex and it was even better. I figured alright, I'll be the secret love affair, but I still obviously can't consider him to be my bf/partner/whatever. He has a whole life with a wife and kids and talks about his entire family in high regard (initially he was looking for a fun time because his wife doesn't have sex drive, but otherwise he says he loves her).
After 2 months, to protect myself from the inevitable attachment and then separation we would have to face, I told him I need to stop seeing him. He wasn't happy about it, he cried, he said he's never felt as appreciated as he does when he's with me and that he can't imagine life without me so he's going to separate from his wife to make this work.
I pretty much begged him not to. I can't be the one to split up a family like that, yes I should have thought of that before I continued with him. He said I'm not breaking anything up and that he didn't know what love was and was just getting by in a dull life but finally feels appreciated and loved around me. We didn't meet during this time but we texted for hours as I tried to convince him to be there for his wife and kids that he still loves very much. But as of this afternoon, he told me he got divorce papers.
I told him that I really like him but there's no guarantee I'll wanna get married or have kids, and can't say a damn thing about being a step mom or anything of the sort. He said that doesn't matter. That the kids will always have their mom and dad and I can choose to be a part of it if I want. And he broke the news to his wife. I haven't heard from him since the afternoon.
I'm FREAKING OUT because a part of me in my mind said "ok yea fuck it, I want this guy that bad". But this is all too much to take.
TL;DR - Hooked up with a guy who turned out to be married. Kept hooking up, fell for each other and now he's getting a divorce and breaking up a family thanks to me.
Edit: Everyone, I know that I shouldn't trust him completely since he already cheated on his WIFE. I told him I'm not exactly certain of a future with him but he did it anyway. I mostly feel bad about breaking up a whole family rather than ending up with him. And yes we were stupid but it seems he was going to divorce her eventually anyway. Even now he says he loves her but not in a way to make a marriage sustainable, whatever that means.
Edit 2: He went through with it. I told him I need a break from him because I didn't want to get this serious with him. He told me he doesn't regret leaving his wife even if I walk out of his life. Don't know what to think anymore.
Thinkle321: Your story is so sad. I feel like the timing and circumstances are off for you to be together. I have no advice, but totally understand where you (and he) are coming from.
Fuck all of you for downvoting empathy. I’m not condoning cheating, I just understand how she got herself in a lot of trouble. I can see having rules and then realizing that you can’t help falling for someone then realizing you’re in a shifty situation.
If they were both single, then the timing would be right. Reddit is so anti-cheating…no regard for people that fucked up.
SmittyManJensen_: The circumstances are they’re both dipshits and mistaking lust for love.
MadRhetoric182: He was gonna destroy his marriage anyway, he was looking for an excuse and she was a willing one.
SmittyManJensen_: A. That is an assumption, and B. That doesn’t change the fact that OP was a knowing and willing participant.
MadRhetoric182: She didn't know he was married until after he cheated.
And he was actively hooking up, a marriage ending action.
No assumptions there.
SmittyManJensen_: And when she found out she continued to do so for months.
MadRhetoric182: She's not blameless, but he was intentionally performing marriage ending actions regardless of her involvement.
| 8 | 2.875 | |
1654216730 | 1654220844 | t3_v3n8bo | t5_2to41 | 7 | BrianDrake75: TIFU By Making a Sex Joke to Somebody Giving Parenting Advice
OMG OMG I finally get to post here!!!! So excited!!!!
Anyway TIFU... I was browsing Twitter and saw a post from somebody saying, "Spanking is not an effective tool in the parental toolbox," and rolled my eyes. Yeah whatevs, bro, my mother spanked me and I'm fine. So I tweeted, "But my wife sure likes a spanking now and then. She's a naughty girl." I laughed. Boy I'm so funny! Everybody should delight in my sense of humor.
Well, then I found out, as I got a slew of responses, that the fellow who made the original statement is some sort of well-known parenting advice expert and his statement was part of a "serious discussion" of child discipline. Like, dude, read the room! I was too busy being snarky, though. Luckily I don't use Twitter under my real name.
TL;DR: I made a sex joke on a parenting advice thread and got rekt.
armyfreak42: >Yeah whatevs, bro, my mother spanked me and I'm fine.
Makes sex jokes on child disciplinary post. Yeah you're totally fine...
BrianDrake75: 
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1654219040 | 1654257986 | t3_v3nyhr | t5_2to41 | 581 | Easy_Conversation_1: TIFU by putting a drink in ice
I still can't stop laughing at what I did and I'm never going to live it down.
My fiance and I were getting ready for work and we were running low on time so he said "crap, theres no monsters in the fridge, can you put a monster in ice for me?" So I did. Except, he meant "could you pour the monster into a cup with ice?" And what I understood for some stupid reason was to take the can and put it in a container filled with ice and water. But I didn't want to pull down a big bowl to fill up, so I grabbed a red solo cup and put ice in the bottom and a bit of water to fill the sides and sat the can in it. It's sticking out the top by like 5 inches and I'm here thinking to myself, this is what he asked, but it seems weird and ineffective, why didn't he ask me to put it in the freezer? Or does this work faster because of the water? And before I could ask, he yells from the other room "don't overfill it because it won't all fit in the cup" so I'm like, oh that makes sense so I dumped a little of the water level out and went about getting ready for work. I come into the kitchen and he's just mopping up water that's all over the counter and laughing like "why?" And he's like "i spilled it trying to pull it out, and we only have a few minutes, this is literally all I asked you to do" and he poured the monster into the cup and added ice. And I'm like, "yeah... that makes a LOT more sense now..."
TL;DR I put a can into a shallow cup of ice water and left it there when I was supposed to pour it into a cup of ice
smell-the-roses: USA: “we need our guns”.
Rest of the world: “ yeah, nah”.
AnxiousAutistic20: I think you might be on the wrong post
smell-the-roses: Am I ever. I'll leave it here though and take the negative karma for my error.
Sardonic29: How did you even end up here? Swipe and accidentally switch posts?
smell-the-roses: I’m not sure. I was on my phone. On r/facepalm. It was about the shooting. My comment would have gone off, if I had posted on that sub. Here I am though.
Bear_buh_dare: >Here I am
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
| 7 | 83 | |
1654221024 | 1654266189 | t3_v3oke5 | t5_2to41 | 4,022 | swayy1141: TIFU by opening an unknown video file in front of my 9yo son
Boring context:
A few years ago my brother moved in with my husband and I, renting our spare room while he got back on his feet after some rough times. I'm now 31(f) brother is now 29. At the time, he had few belongings so I put our old box tv in his room, as well as our old PS3 so he could use it for Netflix and whatnot. He ended up staying longer than we had thought originally (no biggie, covid restrictions and housing issues) but is now gone away for work for about 6 months, and may or may not return. I've taken the opportunity to repaint the room and clean carpets etc. The tv and PS3 are still there.
The FU(actually happened today):
My son(9) has been asking lately to hook up the old PS3 because he had a lot of minecraft extras downloaded and whatever. I had told him I would set it up this weekend, but he had a crappy day so I decided to do it tonight. I get it all cleaned up since it hadn't been used in a while, track down the cords and controllers, and plug it in.
Kids bouncing around beside me, excited to get his hands on it again.
I open his account, I'm looking around to see what's still on there, and I notice some video files. Weird, not sure what videos would be saved on his account, he would've been about 6 last time he logged in. Probably just some game recordings.
Yeah, no. This is going exactly where you've probably been guessing since the title.
I click on the first one and it starts playing. It took even me a second to realise I was looking at a POV video of some guy bending a chick over, ramming her from behind. Of course, they got the full view of all her bits before he starts going at it.
Fully expecting to see a little kids minecraft game it took way too long to figure out what was happening. Not being used to the controls anymore, I start frantically smashing buttons trying to make it stop.
Pause. Start. Pause. Exit. Opened again. Exit.
Mind you, I'm sitting on the floor with the controller plugged in, looking up at the tv, and the kid is standing next to me. He got full view of the entire experience.
I'm sitting there in horror at what my son just saw, and praying that it was a download and NOT my little brother, when my son pipes up
"WHAT was THAT?"
He's had the "where babies come from" talk, so he understands the mechanics in a theoretical sense. I knew in about 10 more seconds he would understand what he saw so I didn't feel the need to explain. I just told him to go sit in the kitchen for a minute. Bless him, he did.
My husband comes out, completely unaware of what we've just been through, and asks why he's sitting on the kitchen floor. Son tells him "mom told me to stay here" so he came to see why.
"I just opened a porn video in front of him"
"OH, wtf, did he see anything?"
"Mmm, yeah, yeah he saw everything. EVERYTHING."
I continue deleting videos (there were 5 or 6) when son calls from the kitchen "Did uncle WATCH that?! Why would he watch that?!" I just say I don't know, it doesn't matter, don't worry about it.
I deleted them, handed the controller to him, and texted my brother what happened. He called me, doesn't remember saving anything on there, but they're definitely not him (I don't care if that's the truth, it's MY truth). We laughed. I'm sure that's not the appropriate response but.. I dont know what else to do, besides laugh and wait for the inevitable questions from my son.
TLDR I accidentally opened a porn video on the tv in front of my 9yo son
Chaoticcareer: Any chance it was your husband's video? Lol
swayy1141: I am quite sure. Had I looked at the dates, I would've realised it was I my brothers possession at the time, and NOT opened it.
Though for a split second I did wonder if it was a lost remnant of our more.. adventurous episodes. Quickly realised it wasn't but that would probably be worse, so I'm counting my blessings there.
bklynsnow: Even if it was, it really doesn't matter.
To your son, it was just a weird view of people he doesn't know and that's how the memory stays unless you change it.
yamo25000: Pretty sure I fully understood porn by the time I was 9.
In fact, I remember finding my dad's magazines and being fascinated.
bklynsnow: Full hardcore porn is very different from finding dirty magazines.
I'm just saying that even if it was OP and her husband, if the kid didn't notice it, it's not a memory he'll have to explain to a therapist.
Skyaboo-: I accidentally saw a hardcore porno when I was like 13 or so and im still scarred. My sister thought itd be hilarious to make me watch a little. I've always had a viceral repulsion to porn, i guess the incident may or may not be related to that idk
bklynsnow: Might be.
My brother made me watch horror when I was a kid and I can't watch it now. Absolutely hate horror as a genre.
ifelife: My brother made me watch horror AND porn. Yay me!
bklynsnow: Hooray for siblings who tortured us!
| 10 | 402.2 | |
1654223334 | 1654223889 | t3_v3p9nu | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU :By being horny on Snapchat
[deleted]
RiotingRobot: Dude you should eat some pizza and a root beer instead of worrying
AestheticsByGb: Wise words from a wise robot
| 3 | 5 | |
1654224347 | 1654352080 | t3_v3pkfo | t5_2to41 | 159 | Bennyfin24: TIFU by not replacing the toilet paper
I am interning for an east coast manufacturing company and just started this week. Today, I had to drop a deuce. These bathrooms are very nice in the offices and are well taken care of. I figured there is a janitor that does a great job in keeping it clean. I did my business and realized there were 2 rolls on the wall to choose from, one was full and the other almost empty. I ended up using the rest of the roll that was low. There was a new roll of toilet paper on the back of the toilet to replace the used one. I tried to quickly put it on but I couldn’t figure out how to take the old roll of the roll holder, it was quite the contraption. I was panicking since I was in there for a little while and didn’t want people to think I was slacking off somewhere. I ended up leaving the empty roll on, hoping the janitor would fix it. Big mistake.
Not even 30 minutes later, my supervisor called me in to his office. He told me he received an email from the office manager that a toilet paper roll had been left on the holder. This bathroom was a secluded one, so someone must’ve seen me go in there and ratted me out. My supervisor informed me that it is a huge deal that the TP is replaced, and showed me how to unreleased the roll holder to replace it. He said he saved me from getting chewed out by the office manager. Now multiple people know about this and actually think I’m inconsiderate by not putting on the roll. So far my start to this internship isn’t going so well
TL;DR: I didn’t replace the toilet paper roll after using it at the office and now I’m the inconsiderate intern
Forsaken_Things: I couldn’t give a shit about this kind of work environment
Rbot9: I totally agree. Never had this issue ANYWHERE. If replacing the TP is THAT important, then someone should've shown him right away, intern or not.
[deleted]: The fact that it's so important is a huge red flag. Micromanage hell.
| 4 | 39.75 | |
1654232562 | 1654250304 | t3_v3rv06 | t5_2to41 | 8 | throw-away74926: TIFU by attracting a old rich guy.
[removed]
bewst_moar_bewst: If you’re so hot, just make an onlyfans.
throw-away74926: Nowhere did I say I was hot😂
bewst_moar_bewst: Exactly. So fuck him for the bread or be quiet. Up here complaining about his looks while you struggling. And in this economy?! Shiiiiid, you might as well fuck him, record it, then sell it on only fans.
Finergolem: 🏆🏆🏆
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1654235077 | 1654322814 | t3_v3sioi | t5_2to41 | 70 | vpetrichorv: TIFU by giggling at a joke my guy friend made and potentially leading him on (accidently)
Context pt. 1
I 20[F] made the recent discovery that I am aromantic and potentially asexual, meaning (personally) I am incapable of romantic attraction and am not interesting in pursuing a romantic relationship. I am however not "out" to anyone outside of close family.
All through high school I was told that I was a flirt and guy friends would frequently crush on me (usually after barely getting to know them so it wasn't cause I'm this super hot person). I didn't understand why this would always happen. But after this discovery about myself I realized that for people who can crush on people, certain behaviors come across that way because they're associated with liking people, even if I'm just being super friendly.
Since then, I've tried to be more aware of acting certain ways to avoid leading anyone on or causing any misunderstandings.
Context pt. 2
I recently made a friend 29 [M] at work and we got kinda close over the last few months. We've hung out a few times outside of work just going on walks, to a museum, a bookstore, etc. In my naivete, I did not consider how such outings may appear to someone else, but for me they were just friendly hang outs. Nothing was ever explicitly stated to suggest otherwise. I truly did not believe that there was any cause for concern as I felt he viewed me in the same way I view him. Partially because that doesn't cross my mind, partially cause I figured he was older than me enough for it not to cross his.
THE EVENT
I was hanging out with him just on a walk. I don't remember what we were talking about, but he made a joke at my expense and i GIGGLED (I chuckle, I laugh, I cackle... rarely do I giggle), and shoved him lightly with my shoulder. Then I looked up at him and he had THAT look in his eye. The same look that Lucas in high school did when he told me I was pretty and the same look that kid from middle school had every time he'd stare at me cause he thought I couldn't see him. This next moment I may be mistaken about, but he was kinda looking all over my face and i SWEAR he stopped at my lips.
At this point I looked away and brushed it off calling him stupid. I don't want to lead him on because he doesn't know I'm aromantic.
I started thinking about other things I've said or done that might've been perceived wrong so if I'm right and he does like me, then it's all my fault and I kinda caused it. Ahhhhhh
Tl;Dr my aromantic ass maybe accidently flirted with my coworker/ friend and made him like me..
Anxious-Custard6208: Why don’t you just be upfront with people to begin with in any of your relationships?
vpetrichorv: I am not comfortable yet with disclosing my sexuality as it is all very new to me and I don't yet know who my safe people are. I also do not feel that saying "hey random coworker I just met, I'm not interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with you" out of no where and for no reason is appropriate
Horti_boi: But you haven’t just met him, you state it’s been a few months that you’ve been hanging out and you’ve gotten quite close. You sound really immature and like you enjoyed leading this guy on by not disclosing your supposed inability to form close emotional or physical relationships. Grow up
vpetrichorv: It is not a 'supposed inability'. I am in the process of questioning my sexual orientation which is none of his business, or anyone else's for that matter, unless I decide it is. Believe me, I do not enjoy potentially hurting a friend, especially one, as you've stated, I have gotten kind of close with.
Dananth690: If you have no attraction to this particular male and strictly see him as a friend. Please for the love of god tell the poor soul.
vpetrichorv: Is there a not awkward way to bring that up if he hasn't said anything about it?
Dancin9Donuts: No but you'll have to bite the bullet sooner rather than later if you don't want to deal with even more awkwardness down the line. Given that you are primarily responsible for this mishap, the ensuing awkwardness should be your burden to undertake.
vpetrichorv: I truly did not mean to flirt if I even did, I genuinely thought we were just hanging out as friends. It didn't occur to me until I saw the shift in him. We've had a conversation about past relationships he's had and he mentioned that he'd dated a coworker and with future awkwardness prevention in mind, I did mention that dating a coworker is the last thing I'd do.
I don't think it's fair to say that i am responsible for his feelings. But I do see that I need to at least tell him that I'm not interested
Dancin9Donuts: I said that you're primarily responsible for "this mishap", the mishap being him getting the wrong idea about your relationship because you haven't done anything to clarify what could reasonably be assumed to be flirting.
You seem to have interpreted that I said you are entirely responsible for his feelings. I did not say that, these are 2 different statements.
I sympathize with your struggle, I can't say I would fare any better in your position so please don't think I'm shitting on you out of moral superiority.
I agree that you should do something about the issue now though. Also keep in mind that whenever forming friendships with men, try to make it clear early on that you aren't interested in romantically pursuing them.
The reason for this is that (anecdotally, I find) men are more likely to catch feelings than women when the other person is only interested in platonic friendship. Men usually don't get a lot of 1-on-1 socialization with women outside of dating (compared to socialization with other men) so if a woman does spend a lot of time with a guy and initiates a lot of social activity, it becomes difficult to shake this auspicion that she's romantically interested. Women rarely initiate so depending on the guy's level of attraction, it becomes very easy to assume she wants something more.
Not saying any of this is your fault, but you'll be hurting a lot of people if you aren't at least trying to be mindful of this.
vpetrichorv: I never really considered that men view one on one interactions differently than women, but that is a good point and I will keep that in mind for the future. Thank you for your help and for being kind :)
Dancin9Donuts: You're welcome. I also made an edit after I received your reply so in case you didn't receive it:
I sympathize with your struggle, I can't say I would fare any better so please don't think I'm shitting on you out of moral superiority.
Regarding the other points I've said, there are plenty of men who are perfectly fine being in friendships with women just as they are with men, this is just my observation and it seems to be a common trend for single men that I've gauged in general. I don't have female friends myself for this reason, though I'm trying to work on it.
You may find more fulfilling friendships with men already in relationships as they may be less likely to catch feelings (I think?), however you might also have to deal with their partner getting jealous so idk. As you can tell I'm pretty shit at suggesting ideas for relationships.
I can try to help with not hurting your guy friend, which was your original question:
Next time you have some alone time with him, you could just say something like "hey we've been spending a lot of time together and I enjoy our friendship but I'm not looking for anything more, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page going forward"
It's not the *least* awkward way to say this, I'm sure, but some difficulty is inevitable. You'll also have to be prepared for the guy to be disappointed or hurt regardless if he's already caught feelings. I know I would be in the same situation. He may even decide that he no longer wants to be friends with you. More on the extreme end, but just making you aware it's a realistic possibility.
For the future, if you're ever directly pressed on your stance on a relationship, such as if someone straight up asks you out or questions you, the least confrontational way I can think of without outing yourself is "I'm not ready for a relationship". They don't need to know why you're not ready, when or if you'll ever be ready, are you just not ready with them or with someone else, etc. It's a common enough response that someone won't automatically assume you're asexual for saying it and you're not being dishonest either.
vpetrichorv: Well hopefully he doesn't decide not to be friends anymore cause we have to work very closely together everyday lol
I think saying I'm not ready for a relationship would be a pretty good way of deterring people, I'll have to remember that
Dancin9Donuts: Another point about your initial post: you said that guys would frequently think you're a flirt and crush on you after barely getting to know them, so this is not because you're some super hot person? How does this add up?
I'd assume that if a lot of people are easily attracted to you without knowing you well, it's probably because they are physically attracted to you? If they're crushing on you after spending a lot of time with you then the reason might be behavioural, but if they're attracted to you without knowing you well then I'd imagine it's because they think you're very good-looking
vpetrichorv: I mean I guess I just never considered myself to be so it didn't come up in my mind as a factor. I think I'm pretty average lol but that's just my opinion. I guess it would make sense if that was part of it, I'm not like hideous or anything on most days
| 15 | 4.666667 | |
1654236587 | 1654243559 | t3_v3sw5e | t5_2to41 | 25 | somedumbasslad: TIFU I got roasted for having sex
I’m 16 years old and I moved out from my parents a year ago. So i made a few friends there and we had no problems but about 2 weeks ago we made a deal: The first person to lose their virginity will be given a specific amount of money. So I took that way too seriously. After a week I found somebody and had sex with her. And when I said I won they wanted to know who I had sex with. So i showed a picture of her and they roasted the shit outta me. They said stuff like “Bro you sure this is a girl” or “She’s like a fucking bowling ball”. I knew she wasn’t that pretty ,she just had a good physique. After one of my friends looked at the picture he said “I know this girl. She asked me out, I rejected her” and then I hung the phone up and told my friends the line cut off. Then I went to my roommates room and asked him “What the fuck do I do” He told me to ask here so here am I without any ideas. Pls help me.
TL;DR
I had sex with somebody that had a crush on my friend and now my friends are roasting me for it
Minimum_Box4491: Find new friends. Asap. And apologise to that poor girl.
Philoceratop: This☝️🖖
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1654239097 | 1654239636 | t3_v3th4k | t5_2to41 | 13 | somedumbasslad: TIFU I roasted because I had sex
So I fucked up pls help
I’m 16 years old and I moved out from my parents a year ago. So i made a few friends there and we had no problems but about 2 weeks ago we made a deal: The first person to lose their virginity will be given a specific amount of money. So I took that way too seriously. After a week I found somebody and had sex with her. And when I said I won they wanted to know who I had sex with. So i showed a picture of her and they roasted the shit outta me. They said stuff like “Bro you sure this is a girl” or “She’s like a fucking bowling ball”. I knew she wasn’t that pretty ,she just had a good physique. After one of my friends looked at the picture he said “I know this girl. She asked me out, I rejected her” and then I hung the phone up and told my friends the line cut off. Then I went to my roommates room and asked him “What the fuck do I do” He told me to ask here so here am I without any ideas. Pls help me.
TL;DR
I had sex with somebody that had a crush on my friend and now my friends are roasting me for it
50at20: Get paid and stop giving a shit what your friends think.
pigeonherd: This. Call out your friends on their cheap ass virgin bitch bluffs.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1654239158 | 1654264402 | t3_v3thns | t5_2to41 | 11,366 | BossMonkey83303: TIFU by eating to much fruit and shi**ing myself on a plane
So today I was at the airport and at the little store they had some fresh fruit and stuff like that. So I decided I would get some fruit and a parfait because I hadn’t had it in a while.
It was really good fruit and super addicting so I ended up eating the entire thing, I soon realized why I hadn’t had it in so long.
I get called to board the plane and everything’s going smooth until about the 2 hour mark (it was a 4 hour flight) where i started feeling like I was gonna shi* myself.
So I get out of my seat and proceeded to shart every step I took, (now lets keep in mind airplane bathrooms aren’t meant for this and are super small) once I made it to the bathroom I had the most vile, disgusting, repulsive shi* I have ever had in my life. Like this thing took 3 flushes to get it all down. On top of all of that I shit my pants.
So of course I’m in an immediate panic because I have no clue what to do with these now shi* stained underwear, so I try to clean it up as best I can with paper towel, water and soap. When I get out, the smell drags out of the now completely nuclear waste toilet across the entire plane. Every step I took I was greeted with a “you are the most disgusting person on planet earth” look and I still had to sit in shi* for the next 2 hours.
TL;DR I ate too much fruit and shi* myself along with the most massive/repulsive shit 16,000ft in the air.
Philoceratop: You should definitely include more plant based food into your diet when your digestive system reacts like that😂😂
mandyhtarget1985: I generally eat a very wide variety of foods, lots of green veggies with my meals. But if i eat a lot of fruit on an empty stomach, particularly grapes, within an hour i will have my stomach running out of me like water.
Sardonic29: That must be relatively common, there’s been a lot of posts on Reddit about it lately. I’d never heard of it before, I once ate eleven clementines and had no after effects. I guess it’s probably genetic? I can’t eat much deep fried food though, I wonder if you get one or the other.
RobbazK1ng: Its all the sugar in the fruit which causes your bowels to evacuate themselves.
Edit: apparently I can't spell sugar.
shifty_coder: It’s not the sugar. It’s the fiber and water in the fruit flesh.
Mooseymax: Watermelon is very low in fibre compared to other fruit and is high in sugar - I kind of believe the previous argument more.
shifty_coder: Key words “compared to other fruit”. You have to take into consideration the average person’s dietary fiber levels, and how often and how much they eat these specific “trigger foods” in one sitting.
It’s the same thing with people who say they get explosive diarrhea from Taco Bell and chipotle. The tiny bit of beans and lettuce is likely way more fiber than they get in anything else they eat, so their body just can’t handle it.
Mooseymax: Sorry, I thought this was part of the 2nd comment where the guy talks about explosiveness from watermelon.
I think it’s more of a combo of fibre, sugar and water in high quantities for other fruits.
shifty_coder: I still don’t think it’s the sugar, because fructose is the primary sweetener in all processed foods (high fructose corn syrup). If that were the case, then people would be shitting themselves all the time, not just on Reddit.
Mooseymax: I know of a few people (yes anecdotal) that have bowel troubles through drinking too many fizzy drinks where the sugar agent is fructose.
Sugar (glucose mostly) is also the main ingredient in a few laxative solutions for people who can’t go - not fibre.
Quote from Google:
> Sugars stimulate the gut to put out water and electrolytes, which loosen bowel movements. If you ingest a lot of sugar, you may develop diarrhea.
| 11 | 1,033.272727 | |
1654241611 | 1654259320 | t3_v3u2ed | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU By being horny as shit and possibly having a nude video of myself leaked
[removed]
Lancerux: Just ignore it. If they start to bother you, tell them that you are child, and they will be sued for CP
JimmiRustle: Arrested*
Lancerux: Yeah, most likely. And killed in prison probably.
KcocNoisnetxeGib: Definitely killed in prison
JimmiRustle: Twice! No wait… 🤔
| 6 | 3 | |
1654241680 | 1654388484 | t3_v3u2xg | t5_2to41 | 218 | Visual-Canary-7748: TIFU - my wife is in a serious affair, and I slept with the affair partner’s wife
[removed]
BkWiz: I’m confused. What’s the problem.
brewnote8: She wants an easy out, lickety split, if she can with no guilt....I feel like this triggers a form of Turetts...
Toungue punch her fart box
Eat wall paper paste
Scissor fuck suction cups
I'm Pulling out now.....
BkWiz: Ok…😅 Tourette’s usually doesn’t apply to text but all right…
barnettrp: I have Tourette’s and fuckfuckshitshit! it can manifest in your text sometimes.
BkWiz: Well, I know one person with Tourette’s in real life.
And sometimes he does say some wild things. I always chalked it up to him kinda being a wild person to be honest 😅. Which he is.
I never held it against him, just was quietly amused on some of the things he would randomly text me while I text with him.😆
barnettrp: Haha! Tourette’s is a weird disorder. I have tics but motor only. No vocalizations so not really Tourette.
BkWiz: So I asked my friend with Tourette’s. As I initially thought, Tourette’s doesn’t have a writing / text part.
While the motor tics can interfere with texting and cause issues like misspellings etc. it’s more likely you are bipolar, have dyslexia or are an idiot.
Considering what happened with Amber and abuse etc, you have to be really ‘special’ since it wasn’t an accident what you did.
For sure no one ever wants to be around you. I mean how low can you go. Probably have alts to agree with yourself. Since two accounts mentioning Tourette’s randomly seems unlikely to be coincidence.
People tend to misunderstand people with OCD / Tourettes without needing (a totally made up piece of crap ion top of it.
BkWiz: So I asked my friend with Tourette’s. As I initially thought, Tourette’s doesn’t have a writing / text part.
While the motor tics can interfere with texting and cause issues like misspellings etc. it’s more likely you are bipolar, have dyslexia or are an idiot.
Considering what happened with Amber and abuse etc, you have to be really ‘special’ since it wasn’t an accident what you did.
For sure no one ever wants to be around you. I mean how low can you go. Probably have alts to agree with yourself. Since two accounts mentioning Tourette’s randomly seems unlikely, it can’t be a coincidence.
People tend to misunderstand people with OCD / Tourettes without needing that totally made up piece of crap ion top of it.
| 9 | 24.222222 | |
1654242288 | 1654249142 | t3_v3u7ih | t5_2to41 | 49 | swoze_1: TIFU by opening up about my addiction.
So i recently decided to reach out and ask for help with my addiction I've been struggling with for the past few years. It feel like now that I opened up nobody seems to understand what I'm going through. I keep getting the oh you'll be okay, its not really that bad, just man up about, etc. I feel like it just made everything worse since I'm a very quiet person and keep everything bottled up. Basically i felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode and it seems i should have just kept my mouth shut. For darn sakes I'm trying to talk, i want to let you know I feel . I don't want to be shutdown with dumb answers and just want them to UNDERSTAND. I have no where else to go or no one else to talk to so I'm here. Did i basically just fuck everything up by opening up and being truthful? Im completely lost and broken on the whole ordeal. Definitely not what I was expecting. Sorry about the vent but like I said i have no where else to turn.
TL;DR Basically opened up to family and certain people and it pretty much backfired.
PropheticVisionary: What’s the addiction?
swoze_1: Fentanyl. I know i made the decision to use but i also want help. Im tired of it destroying my life. I wanna be able to rule my own world again and not this drug.
Zanthip: Just because you chose to use doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help getting out.
Also it is really fucking difficult if not impossible to overcome addiction solo. Reaching out is the responsible thing to do.
swoze_1: Thats exactly how i feel but some don't seem to understand.
I just want and need support. Its not an easy task to take on, yet ALONE.
Zanthip: It is tough. Unfortunately if people have not come across addiction before they might not be sure how to respond. It might be helpful to give them specific ways they could support you (if they’re up for it).
| 6 | 8.166667 | |
1654243930 | 1654291054 | t3_v3ukfh | t5_2to41 | 168 | Full-Purchase-8938: TIFU by burning my coochie and thighs
TIFU by burning my coochie and thighs
So, to set the scene, I was hungry. Didn’t have much food to make but I seen a lone can of ravioli off in the distance of my pantry. I decided it was time for that can of ravioli to be put to use.
So I do my thing, make the food. It comes out of the microwave piping hot. I put it on a small plate to hold because, as I said, it was hot.
I go into my room, sit down and balance it on my thighs. This is where the fuck up happens. As it’s balancing I decide I need to quench the cotton mouth plaguing me. So as I reach over to grab my drink the balance is disrupted and extremely hot ravioli descends upon my nether regions and inner thighs.
In my pain and shock I quickly pick up the bowl, set it to the side and get up, which causes it to move further and burn me more. I start doing a pain dance, legs spread apart while whisper yelling ow. I take off my shorts and begin to wipe off the red sauce from hell, which makes it worse.
And now, I am sitting here spread eagled, about an hour later, telling reddit about my misery.
TL:DR Was hungry, made food, sat down and put food on thighs, very hot ravioli fell onto coochie and thighs, effectively burning them.
goingmerry604: Pornhub: WRITE THAT DOWNNN
SadegEg: I’m gonna search for some… material right now…
the_new_longneck: Research material
SadegEg: I saw a lot of shit… mr fish
Redditormanguydude: That is mister mr fish to you
SadegEg: Mister mr mr Fish?
| 7 | 24 | |
1654244168 | 1654283183 | t3_v3uma9 | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by visiting my girlfriend's place
[deleted]
[deleted]: Shes 21.
She can make her own decisions.
Including moving out from an abusive household (very fucking clearly people dont get married off now. They aren't property)
You got to help her. Simple as that.
Shnaake: I think her parents are just trying to scare her. I don't actually think they are so crude that they'll force her to marry a stranger.
I would've helped her but I can't even get in touch with her. Im getting updates from her friend and if I show up at her place, that's just gonna worsen things.
Roidz18: I mean can she move in with you?
Shnaake: Although I have my own place, my mom lives with me (she's retired now). But that's not even the point.
If we were in a different country that would've been a good option but in India, that's just not gonna work.
Roidz18: Well I mean India has been known for “selling marriage” as far as I know, you might have to nut up or shut up man. That’s the thing about having sex and being in a relationship, sometimes you gotta just make moves or give it up best of luck to you man
| 6 | 5 | |
1654245213 | 1654272165 | t3_v3uuli | t5_2to41 | 68 | costcosnacks: Tifu by locking my front door
I'm actually such a fucking idiot- obligatory this happened literally just now and I'm so horrified I can't get back to sleep.
So I've been with my fiancé for 8 years now, she is the love of my life. She just went on a grueling business trip to Los Angeles for a few days (we live in New Jersey)
So the past couple days it's just been me and my crazy cat in the apartment, just totally normal doing cat and cat dad things.
These business trips have become more frequent since she got her new job, and I get a little paranoid when she's away especially at night so when she left that night I put the chain on the door.
Now I don't know if everyone knows what I'm talking about but there is a literal chain you can latch onto doors where a person cannot open the door from the outside- even if the have a key- without a considerable amount of brute force. Here lies the fuck up.
So my beautiful amazing fiancé who just had an intense multi day business trip was supposed to be back at like 10pm and I was going to stay up to see her, but there have been MASSIVE delays at airports recently and she got stuck waiting on the tarmac for I kid you not- two full hours while waiting for a gate to be available. Just sitting on the plane with a screaming baby (she called me and I heard it. Just miserable sounding)
So I left the light on and made my way to the bedroom and dozed off. I made sure to leave my phone by my side and make sure not to wear my earplugs.
WEll I STILL FUCKED UP. I left the latch on so when my fiance came in at about 12am she could not get inside the apartment and was stuck outside she called me multiple times and sent a bunch of texts but I guess my phone is set to do not disturb during that time. AND I SLEPT THROUGH IT LIKE A DUMBASS. She was out there for a while but managed to call her dad who came and picked her up. Now she's staying with her parents.
Not gonna lie I've never felt more terrible I sent her a bunch of texts and tried to call her the minute I realized at like 3am, I don't think we're breaking up by any means, but this is going to take a longggggggg time to recover from.
TL;DR: tifu by accidentally locking my fiancé out of the apartment at 12am
areyouokayinthehead: Huh, it happens. It's understandable to be upset at that moment, but nothing to grief someone for a long time over it.
costcosnacks: True, it makes it worse that her dad picked her up as well...like I don't like my future father in law thinking I'm not trust worthy. I'm sure it will blow over, might buy some flowers tomorrow
Additional_Breath_89: Get him something as well, as a thank you for helping out, will show you accept that he “stepped up” and you aren’t treating it as the norm.
| 4 | 17 | |
1654246486 | 1654247110 | t3_v3v46r | t5_2to41 | 43 | Bee_dragon: Tifu by possibly giving myself food poisoning after injuring myself
I decided to start going to the gym again after two years. It's hot and the gym has a pool, an hour swim should be fine. It was not, feel like a pulled muscle in my shoulder. Fell asleep with the fan on. I
woke up congested. Decide to baby my shoulder and just hit the treadmill today just to be safe. I got home and stretched just to hear a pop from my shoulder and now it's warm to the touch.
My mom brought home some sushi and gave it to me. Being tired and not feeling well sat it on a shelf and took a two hour nap. Woke up and remembered the sushi. It didn't feel warm, was cool.? I opted to eat it. I live in Arizona. Now hear I am with a headache, nauseous, congested and a warm sore shoulder. Thankfully the urge to use the bathroom is gone, courtesy of expired pepto chews. Sudafed temporarily took away the sinus pressure.
TLDR: Over did it at the gym just to eat warm raw sushi the next day. Now my shoulder and tummy are killing me.
allokamaye: I AM NOT KIDDING YOU this is EXACTLY what i’ve been dealing with the past two days (sinus, muscle pulled and BAD food poisoning from eggs) and all i can say is, yes. yes we F*d up.
EDIT: i also live in Az 😭
Bee_dragon: Yikes. Hopefully the end is near.
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1654252261 | 1654267913 | t3_v3wfbg | t5_2to41 | 3,900 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with my friends sister after going out to the bar
[deleted]
MuskyLion: Moral of the story: Don't hook up with drunk people. Many great relationships start by hooking up with a friend's sister. Almost none start with sloppy drunks hooking up. You need to clear this up with her, not them. Only she can help you out of this mess.
Bawlsackius: I wish I could, no one in that group will even talk to me anymore, otherwise I would try
MuskyLion: Have you tried knocking on her door when she's home?
Bawlsackius: I can’t imagine showing up at her house and knocking on her door would make things better, would just make me seem like a stalker or something
Aelinthali68: Have you tried whining about it and not doing anything to resolve the situation?
Oh wait, that's what you're doing right now.
Remote-Conference-56: Oh no, how dare someone get into an unfamiliar and uncomfortable situation and post about it hoping to get some outside perspective on what to do.
Aelinthali68: And then when having gotten advice declined to do anything.
Dark_Jester: The advice being to rock up to her house unannounced. The fuck are you on?
Aelinthali68: I can't help if you and your buddies have the emotional maturity of a bunch of 12 year old kids.
Dark_Jester: Me and my *buddies* don't rock up to people's homes unannounced. Especially people who do not like us. It's considered pretty weird in this day and age.
You can't see the logic here. Either you're an old man who hasn't kept up with the times and adapted to new social norms or you really just lack the self awareness.
>I can't help if you and your buddies have the emotional maturity of a bunch of 12 year old kids.
And this was supposed to make you not sound like the very thing you called me?
Aelinthali68: I'll admit that I am older and no, I don't understand the modern "whine like a little bitch and do nothing" style.
Dark_Jester: Grumpy old man yells at the next generations because they can't comprehend change. Classic.
Aelinthali68: Next generation thinks they know everything but will learn "grumpy old man" was right when they get older.
Classic.
Dark_Jester: I'm feeling secondhand embarrassment now.
| 15 | 260 | |
1654233261 | 1654268054 | t3_v3s1pa | t5_2to41 | 7 | hxh2001bruh: TIFU by asking a girl what does a really bad word mean
I study abroad in a universtiy in Turkey specifically. And so this Turkish girl is my classmate and I have been talking to her for a while. Nothing serious planned because she is a weird person, I would say she has a mild ahdh or something. I am not sure even if I should ask her about it, since it gets frustrating how she cannot focus on a conversation without holding the phone or doing something. You would assume from this that she is not into me, however she asked me out at one night to go out with her but I was sleeping, plus my really close friends told me that she is kinda into me. Long story short, my Turkish level is really bad, I was trying to open a conversation with her since we agreed on helping each other about it since her english is bad as well. So at the morning while on reddit I saw someone said the word (amina koyim), which apparently cannot be translated since this language is very stupid, and so I asked her what is the meaning. She ignored it and unfollowed me on ig and I still have not uplogized to her since I wanted to do it f2f. (the meaning of the word is fuck, however it is very bad in the language)
TL:DR: Asked a girl the meaning of a very bad word and now she will probably not talk to me another day, unless a miracle happens.
zoret2: you told her im gonna put my dick in your vagina lol
hxh2001bruh: yea man pretty stupid of me. I mean I literally did not know what it meant. However, I am to blame for the carelessness.
zoret2: yea well just try going up to her and apologising, letting her know that someone on the internet tricked you. if she's a normal human, she would understand.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1654259102 | 1654289532 | t3_v3y8ph | t5_2to41 | 1,040 | CadenceQuandry: TIFU by staying in bed five minutes longer than I should have
Yup. Literally today.
I have two kids still left at home. The older of the two (7) is up at the butt crack of dawn to poop. Every day. We are talking 5:30 am. I try to go back to sleep after this but rarely do.
The second (4) got up for the day at 6:30. I instructed them to go get dressed and to play in their rooms while I finished waking up (I’m not a jump out of bed and hit the ground running kind of woman). Five minutes later I hear a massive boom and crash. Followed by lots of small booms and crashes. I run out to the hallway and over to the stairs, and see on the mainfloor that the door is off the closet and lying on the floor. With my four year old underneath it and all the organizers we had hanging off the inside of the door splayed with their contents all over.
Now I’ve literally just jumped out of bed. And my heart isn’t up to speed.
I promptly feel dizzy and manage to sit down before I pass TF out. I come around, sit up, see the mess and go to stand, and once again sit down quickly as the world spins and goes Black.
It’s now an hour and a bit later. The kids are grounded to their rooms till at least lunch. They were allowed out to eat. I’ve cleaned up the mess and stood up the door but cannot fix it as the hinge screws ripped the door apart at the top.
Turns out the oldest one told the youngest one to swing on the door (he grabs handles on either sides and lifts his feet). We’ve told them a million times not to do this.
It’s a school PA day and I just cannot even parent right now I’m so angry and still not even recovered from passing out.
I should have just gotten up. Fml. My chest hurts and if I don’t calm down I may just have a heart attack.
[Proof](https://imgur.com/a/N52BAM7)
TLDR - stayed in bed while the kids got up early and played. They ripped a door off its hinges accidentally. I passed out. They are grounded because I just cannot even deal.
ETA - the older one has a minor disability and needs help with toileting.
ETA2- I have known low blood pressure issues. Always have. Also have slightly low iron. Head rushes are normal for me. Basically I was lying down and then suddenly standing and running. Between that and the shock, my blood pressure took a huge dip and I momentarily lost consciousness. I’m ok now. But I will alert my doctor to see if he’s worried. Which I doubt.
Liz4984: I feel your pain Mama! My son has always been a 4:30-5am riser no matter when he went to bed. His first word was “Go” followed by “out” and “play”. He’d been standing in his crib yelling “Go out play!” From 5am on.
There has been plenty of days I’d happily let the house fall apart for more sleep.
You should get the passing out looked at though. It can be several benign things or several illnesses that aren’t great. Better safe than sorry!
CadenceQuandry: I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last five months. Almost fifty lbs. I’ve also always had slightly low blood pressure and often get a head rush when I stand up. Essentially I went from lying flat to running and my system just couldn’t handle it!
And oh man. I miss the crib days. They would literally play in their cribs till 9am.
JustAnSJ: Lost weight on purpose or unexpectedly/without trying? Definitely go get that checked out if it's the second one!
CadenceQuandry: Oh def on purpose! Started adhd meds, stopped boredom eating and got better impulse control! As soon as I started (like the day of) I began eating better on purpose. Haven’t had a single binge since January and mostly focus on veggies and lean protein.
JustAnSJ: Wow! Excellent work! Just you be careful and look after yourself though
CadenceQuandry: Thanks. I gained weight about ten years ago after an injury, and then infertility treatments. So the weight loss and cessation of boredom eating and bad choices is extremely welcomed.
Liz4984: It could be POTS which they can treat, iron deficiency anemia which can be treated, etc.
Passing out during the day is a hazard and it can actually cause you to loose your drivers license in some states. If it’s a simple cause you should seek treatment.
If you pass out and hit your head or fall down the stairs you could do yourself a lot of damage and it’s not worth the risk. -ER RN who sees people after they fall down the stairs or hit their head.
CadenceQuandry: Totally hear you. Thankfully I haven’t passed out in almost thirty years prior to this. I get a dizzy spell every now and then (aka head rush) but that’s really about it!
| 9 | 115.555556 | |
1654259432 | 1654277286 | t3_v3yc54 | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting a reddit friend
[deleted]
PolishSoundGuy: What a shitty thing to do by that person. OP life in the UK, even if you’re temporary homeless, will be probably better than living in your country.
Things will get better. I promise you.
Rten-Brel: Lmfao. I like how you're one of the few people to support and side with OP yet op still didn't like what you said
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1654262204 | 1654272885 | t3_v3z730 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Clumsy-Samurai: TIFU by putting my PS4 in rest mode
So as the title states, my wife and I finished watching a show on Netflix and retired to bed after putting the PS4 in rest mode.
Fast forward to the next morning.
The fuck up.
Our 5 year old daughter wakes with the sun and politely asked if she can watch her shows, she is very good with the controller and it's a smart TV so everything turns on with a press of the button on the controller. It's often this way on the weekends as it affords us an extra few minutes/half hour of sleep.
I rise and head downstairs to start some coffee and check up on our girl. As I round the corner of the basement stairs I hear some all too familiar voices that I just can't place as I'm still groggy. Not until I came into view of the screen did I notice that she was watching BIG MOUTH.
She was an episode and a half from where we stopped watching the night before.
I quickly told her that we should find something for her to watch and kinda agree with her that the show doesn't make much sense and let's see if we can find one of her shows.
We are mortified. We have since tried to watch the episodes that she watched. Nope. Couldn't do that. It was way too difficult to watch knowing my 5 year old daughter had sat through it all.
So now we wait and see what questions or behavior might arise from it.
I didn't make a big deal of it in front of her, so hopefully her not following the dialogue coupled with me just finding a show she loves to watch was enough to mitigate any damages done.
Big oof. Life's fun isn't it?
TL;DR 5 year old daughter watched 1.5 episodes of Big Mouth, because I left my PS4 in rest mode the night before.
Poekienijn: I had to look it up but I don’t think it’s that bad. It doesn’t seem to have a lot of violence.
AH_MLP: There's several close-up shots of animated genitalia, among other things. Don't act like violence is the only thing that can give a kid bad memories. There's a character who has dozens of tiny penises as a pet, and an anthropomorphic vagina as a reoccuring character. You often see the genitals of middle-school aged kids. I certainly wouldn't want my *5 year old* seeing that.
Poekienijn: What’s wrong with seeing genitals? It’s not porn, right? I have a 5YO and she has seen pictures of genitals and if it wasn’t for COVID she would have gone to the sauna with me from age 4 so she would have seen a lot of naked people. We also used to go to a lot of musea and she never commented about seeing naked pictures besides once saying that the rock the guy was sitting on must be hard if you are sitting on it naked.
But then again, I didn’t know the series. So I don’t know how bad it is. But just seeing genitals is not harmful.
AH_MLP: The children in the show have sexual relationships, it is not "porn" but is pornographic. The show is a humorous take on adolescent puberty from an adult perspective, the images and themes are mature for a 5 year old.
| 5 | 3.2 | |
1654262439 | 1654810469 | t3_v3z9qg | t5_2to41 | 391 | DylantotheJ: TIFU by getting my dick stuck on a glue mouse trap
(NSFW Warning, and also might be explicit I guess you already know that if you got past the title)
It has been a few days since the mouse problems have stopped but we still have mouse traps around the house as a precaution in case they return. My mom doesn’t want to take any chances.
She kept a mouse trap in every room, in my room it was on the floor by my bed and she would always warn me “watch where you’re stepping the last thing you want is to get your foot stuck in it, the glue is very sticky and a mess to clean up”. I would keep brushing her off by saying “yeah, I know it’s there I’ll be careful.”
Last night I decided to sleep in the nude because of how warm the weather was and I was having a really hard time falling asleep. This morning when I woke up, I didn’t realize my foot was caught in my comforter so when I went to get up, I tripped and fell off the bed and landed onto the mouse trap. But it wasn’t my foot that I got caught in the glue trap.... it was my dick, also It didn’t help that I had a morning hard on. I severely underestimated the stickiness of the glue, it was stuck like fuck I couldn’t take it off without it being extremely painful. The skin and any hairs were really stuck.
I was contemplating asking some one's help because pulling it off is not an option because it was painful. Since it wasn't my foot I knew there was no way I was going to get anyone’s help because i’ll never live this down. I realized this was a one man mission I was cursing my luck, but then I had the idea of taking a warm shower hoping it will melt the glue. It took a while but I was able to eventually get it off, and it definitely was not fun getting the remaining glue pieces that was stuck on any hairs.
Even with the long ass warm shower my dick is still sticky and it’s annoying to have to pull my pants off it. I’m thankful the glue trap didn’t do any damage, I shudder to think what would've happened if it was one of those metal mouse traps (we had a few of those in other areas of the house). You know what it's best not to go there LOL.
In the end I can't believe I was being extremely careful making sure I wouldn’t get my foot stuck on the trap, that I never even entertained the idea of getting my dick stuck in it. But since my luck loves to screw with me I can’t say I’m surprised.
TL:DR: I tripped and fell on a glue mouse trap, only it wasn’t my foot but my dick
MedicalDisscharge: You tried to fuck a mouse trap didnt you
premeditatedsleepove: Exactly what i was thinking. This reads exactly like the raw chicken breast story.
Filamcouple: What?
atwistedsmile: It's a 4chan post from a few years ago. [Here's a link to a screenshot of it](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/c4lwqn/anon_fucked_the_chicken_breasts/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) someone posted in r/greentext.
Filamcouple: Wow. That's just sad. People will dick anything I guess. Thanks for the link.
| 6 | 65.166667 | |
1654263458 | 1654269593 | t3_v3zlkw | t5_2to41 | 30 | Snoopy_Dancer: TIFU by doing Whole30
The FU started in April, but culminated today. I (34F)decided to do a Whole30 elimination diet at the beginning of April. I had put on some weight in the last couple tests, what with lock downs and 2 surgeries that had long recovery times. Additionally, I had a pookie belly that perpetually looks about 5 months pregnant, and I had developed some inflammation in my thumb knuckles that had me worried.
The elimination part went well, I saw really positive results. My thumbs stopped hurting, by belly went away, my skin cleared up, I was sleeping great, and I just generally felt awesome.
Here's where the FU starts. I wanted to be really careful about slowly bringing items back in, BUT I had a trip to France scheduled about 3 weeks after the end. I have already known that gluten makes my belly swell, and dairy makes me break out, so I decided to wait until the last minute to have dairy, and to wait until I got to France to bring in the gluten.
Sure enough, all the bread and pastry had me swelling up like Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka. That's OK though, I figured I would just get back off gluten when I got home.
Here's the FU. We arrive in Paris for our last 2 days, and I decide I want fresh pasta. I get a 5 cheese gnocchi and chase it down with an ice-cream (I've only had plain Greek yogurt and a little cheese until now). Afterward, I started feeling not quite right, but continue to eat through the day.
That night I had the worst stomach cramps I've ever had. Sleeping was impossible due to pain. However. The worst came in the toilet area. My farts were like they had come from Satan himself. This was topped off by needing to shit 6 times in the night.
Today I'm still curled up in pain, waiting for this to end. When I get home I'll be going to the DR. To investigate whether it's IBS or something similar.
Tldr: I did Whole30 before going to France and discovered I have IBS.
boyegcs: Sounds a bit like lactose intolerance… we are similar: I have IBS, lactose intolerance and gluten sensitivity. Let’s cry together!
GnomeMode: That's exactly what it sounds like, lactose intolerance plus gluten intolerance and just cuz life doesn't suck enough, a sprinkling of IBS. I honestly don't know anyone who has a good stomach and can just eat consequence free.
| 3 | 10 | |
1654268921 | 1654270169 | t3_v41gq4 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by having controversial opinions
[removed]
mtsmylie: You need a therapist, as you obviously have a lot of issues to work through.
yy98755: Daddy went out for cigarettes and never came home, mummy turns tricks looking for a new daddy, I mean I can see it….
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1654270069 | 1654301177 | t3_v41vbg | t5_2to41 | 662 | Euphoric_Seesaw_2304: TIFU by letting my dad convince me to get my first lap dance after a ball game.
Me (20m) went to a ball game with my dad after originally it was intended as a date for him and my mom but she hurt herself and couldn’t go. I was the quick fill drinking buddy and ball game companion as the hotel was paid for and not a refundable one. The game went great we had some drinks and at some point my dad got the idea in his head we were gonna go to a strip joint and he was gonna pay for me to get a lap dance, I was pretty buzzed and didn’t feel great about doing it but i agreed.
We walk into this place after we finished eating the dinner we had after the game, pay some massive guy 5 bucks to get in and i go and sit by myself because sitting beside your dad at a strip club is a surprisingly unbearable experience. I sat for a while turned down a dance from the first girl that approaches me but the second girl just sat down beside me without me really noticing and struck up a somewhat normal introduction and conversation. She was gorgeous and since I was here to get a dance I asked her for one.
She lead me down to a booth and I ended up paying her for 5 songs which was a 100$ Canadian. She was really hot and rubbed her boobs in my face etc, but the mainly we talked the whole time i learned she was 3 years older then me, stripping paying for her school and just aimless conversation i loved. My favourite thing was her smile, her laugh, how she kept calling me cute. After I was done really wanted to ask for her number but i considered how most of it was probably a business front she puts on for customers as well as some small talk so I thanked her and got ribbed by my dad on the way back to the hotel.
I guess i bottled it up until then because i cried myself to sleep in a hotel room cot. I was drunk kept thinking shit like the only reason someone that attractive and personable would spend time with me is if money was involved while simultaneously that I was a massive sucker for getting so attached to someone who i didn’t even know their name and would probably never think of me again.
Anyways sorry for my sad rant. I don’t want to say this to anyone I know so thanks
TL;DR I got attached to a really nice stripper and my own insecurities ruined what should have been the end to a good night with my dad
Edit: I should probably preface that my dad was there to drink a beer and was watching hockey on a tv and thought I had nothing but a good time with the boobies and it was just father son banter, I definitely could have told him no when he brought up going and he wouldn’t of pushed it. + thank you all so much for your kind words
Dave21101: Ouch.. Honestly this sound way more like a FU on his part. I can't imagine many fathers that take their sons to strip joints. You're okay buddy!
RabidDiabeetus: This was def dad wanting to hit the strip club on his unexpected trip away from the wife and his son got roped in. Poor guy probably had insecurities from his dad telling him to man up as a kid. I'm not projecting, you are!
Otfd: I mean he said in the edit that he could’ve said no. I think his dad just wanted to bond.. it doesn’t have to be that deep always.
Johnyryal3: Father son bonding....at a strip club?
What a shitty father.
Otfd: Weirdo
| 6 | 110.333333 | |
1654270917 | 1654333795 | t3_v425z1 | t5_2to41 | 35,311 | crunchy-yarn: tifu by asking my mom if my job would give me an anniversary bonus even if i’m not married
i (20f) just got hired at a gas station that has really good benefits, treats their workers well, and is overall a really good company. some of the things i was told by my manager is that i’ll get a bonus on my birthday, around the holidays, and an anniversary bonus. i was pretty excited about all of that. however i was curious about what kind of anniversary exactly. my boyfriend (20m) and i have been together for almost 5 years now- we’re not married yet but we do have the anniversary of when we first started dating. i wondered if that was gonna be treated the same as if it were a wedding anniversary.
i went home after work and was telling my mom all about the benefits, including the anniversary bonus thing. i asked her if my anniversary with my boyfriend counted, and she laughed and asked if i was serious. um, yeah, i couldn’t pass up an opportunity for a bonus. my mom then started laughing so hard she was crying, for at least 3 whole minutes.
turns out an anniversary bonus happens on the anniversary of when you get hired, not anything to do with your dating life. whoops.
tl;dr: i asked my mom if the anniversary bonus from my job would happen for me if i’m not married yet, but it’s really just the anniversary of the day you got hired.
rajfijfiel: Yeah my employer always gives me free money to mark non-work related events like my cat's birthday, completing Sonic 2 finally, the time I learned to yodel.
TheGoodSquirt: Damn, you beat Sonic 2?
OkVolume1: You beat Sonic 2? When is the parade?
OssiansFolly: Hold up, is Sonic 2 supposed to be that hard? I recall beating it but I don't recall it being that difficult. Do people mean Mario 2?
SlowTeamMachine: Sonic 2 is the one that ends with the Dr. Robotnik mech fight, right? I haven't played it since I was a kid but I remember beating it multiple times because I just loved that damn fight. If it's supposed to be a classically difficult game, it's news to me.
Preform_Perform: Everything but that last fight is easy.
That last fight with the Eggman robot was basically the arcade final boss that was out for your quarters.
MeAndMyStuff: I'd argue also that the last proper zone with 3 acts is frustrating af
i-am-grok: It's the only zone truly designed to interrupt your momentum as much as possible. The praying mantis robots are always positioned just on the edge of platforms you're hitting at max speed
Yourgrammarsucks1: Fucking scythers.
Comfortablycloudy: God damn you guys, I had a nice chill evening with star trek planned.
Now I'm loading up Sonic 2 and I'm not getting up until it's finished
ThaiJohnnyDepp: Rip and tear ... until it is done.
Comfortablycloudy: GRINDING AND REPEATING AS ORDERED
E: aaaaaaaaaand I'm done!
Protocol-12: proud!
| 14 | 2,522.214286 | |
1654271426 | 1654445604 | t3_v42cdm | t5_2to41 | 133 | MondboyColoR: TIFU by me (M) telling my partner (F) my sexual desires and regretting the relationship when she has no interest.
I'm a normal guy, I play videogames and watch anime on a daily basis. I don't go out too much and stay to myself but two days ago when I was around my partner, I got in the mood. However, the mood is quickly shot down when I tell her my sexual desires and she immediately has this "ok.." mood like she doesn't care and I can see it on her face as if she is uninterested. Her actions during foreplay was so uncaring and effortless to the point I told her to stop. At that point, everything I asked her if she could do, she replied to with a solid no that my kinks are weird and you need a freak and I'm not one. She then gets up, gets back on her phone as if nothing happened and there I was, left hard as a rock. Now it's making me think that I no longer want to pursue goals and future plans with her if I have to think some months or years down the line that this problem may happen again.
TL;DR: I felt sexually in the mood with my partner but was disappointed with her replies to my kinks, now I'm regretting every life choice we've made together.
ElectricPaladin: She's not that into you. Go get a girl who's at least open minded enough to play with you a little. She doesn't want to be with you and she's being weasly about it. Do both of you a favor and GTFO.
AliasFaux: Or, she's not into the same shit he is.
People are allowed to be into different shit, and that doesn't make either of them wrong, and neither should feel bad about it, or feel pressured to change.
That said, you're not wrong that it probably DOES mean that they're not sexually compatible, and that is a pretty big problem in a relationship, and might mean they should look elsewhere for somebody more compatible.
ElectricPaladin: I'd agree with you 100% except for the "you need a freak and I'm not one" and then rolling over to play with her phone thing. That was unnecessarily mean.
You're right that people are allowed to be different and no one should feel pressured to change, but this is more than "she's into feet, I'm not." She basically told him to break up with her, then signaled her disinterest by ignoring him for a bit.
Diet_Coke: >I'd agree with you 100% except for the "you need a freak and I'm not one" and then rolling over to play with her phone thing. That was unnecessarily mean.
You don't know what OP asked. If he asked her to shit on his chest, that's a pretty tame response.
ElectricPaladin: Nah. "I'm sorry, I can't do that for you" is a tame response. Calling someone's desires freakish and then being rude to them is not.
Diet_Coke: That's so fragile
ElectricPaladin: Sexuality is vulnerable. If you can't find it in your heart to be gentle with someone you're having sex with, you have no business being in a relationship.
Diet_Coke: Asking someone to shit on your chest is not exactly being gentle either, if you can't handle anything but the most gentle touch on your emotions then you're not ready to be out there yet.
ElectricPaladin: Yeah, and if you can't muster more gentleness than that for someone you're fucking, you aren't ready for much of anything, either.
While I can certainly *take* a lot of cruelty directed at me without collapsing into a quivering pile of mucus, that doesn't mean that it isn't bad to be unnecessarily cruel. You're supposed to at least *like* someone you're dating, right? Why would you want to be cruel to them? Why would you want to go up to the edge of what's acceptable and do to them things that they are supposed to be able to endure? Wouldn't being a decent person in dating involve staying well away from the edge?
For fuck's sake... it costs you nothing to be kind. So let's say someone asks you to shit on his chest? *So fucking what*? So you say no, and regardless of what they can or can't "take" you should do it in a kind and gentle way because this is someone you are supposed to care about.
MadzMartigan: Jesus Christ, grow a spine. If a girl goes Amber Heard on me and wants to shit on me, that’s an immediate fuck no followed by a “that’s disgusting.” And that response is entirely warranted. Human waste play is disturbing and you likely need a therapist if you are.
| 11 | 12.090909 | |
1654270887 | 1654328779 | t3_v425l4 | t5_2to41 | 27 | Tear_and_fold: TIFU by forgetting to remove stuff from my mothers computer and getting reemed for trying to process my issues.
So to set my background a bit. I come from a unhappy home, an alcoholic for a mother, an empty husk for a father. I am the middle daughter out of three daughters. My mother who is an absolute gem of a person who just makes you want to jump into traffic, has lost her husband and three daughters due to her wretched personality. Currently me and my older sister are no contact with her my youngest who lives with our dad is stuck still having to interact with her. Yay.
Ok so how it happened was when I was about twenty or so years old, my laptop dies giving me the blue screen of death, I had a paper to turn in for school and no computer to write it on. But I couldn’t afford to get a new computer right away. So I asked my mother if I could use her computer to finish my papers. She said sure and while I worked she watched her Hallmark dribble movies. And I easily accessed all my papers via installing my one drive and Microsoft access on my mothers computer once done. I didn’t log out or Uninstall the one drive or the Microsoft extensions, i didn‘t thin it was necessary. Mistake number 1.
So fast forward to 2020, due to issues at home, family drama, i left at the start of 2020 because I had had enough, I reached my boiling point. But I did go to my mothers computerand removed everything that was mine off from her computer, i had removed my microsoft access and logged out of everything and I eventually changed my password for a lotcofcthings. Or so I thought. Mistake number 2.
And due to emotinal distress I started keeping a diary on my computer. Mistake number 3.
Writing down my thoughts my feelings, some stories I had vitnessed during my childhood and so forth. Thinking surely it would be Allright saving it on word documents because easy editing and I can‘t for the life of me read my own hand writting. Mistake number 4.
So on to the main story. On Decembe 23. 2020. At 10-ish O‘clock in the morning in the middle of work i get a phone call from my mother and she is irate and furious with me for some reason, screaming about something I wrote. I was clueless, not really understanding what she was talking about I hadn‘t written anything then she told me about the word documents that would pop up at random on her computer and she was enraged that I had the audacity to write such horrible blatant lies about her and she demanded I come over and remove it from her computer and she insisted on having a talk about my ungrateful behavior and just how sick and wrong I am to treat my own mother like she’s the wicket witch of the west.
I got off around 9 o’clock in the evening, went to her place and checked her computer only to find out that in the task view on my mothers computer were several of my word documents that i had been jotting down for the last few months. One labeled personal diary, (she read it) and another was titled my mother blames me for....., I hadn‘t given it a title it had just saved the first few words as its title on its own. (She read it also)
I tried to figure out why they had been popping up on her computer microsoft was not on her computer I had removed the extension feature, but then I noticed the one drive folder, it was mine, my name was attached to it. For some insane reason I hadn‘t removed or or I thought I had removed it or logged out or ssomethig and everytime I had made a new document on my computer it would appear on my mothers computer task view for reasons I don‘t understand (maybe you would)
I ended up standing in my mothers kitchen for 3 hours getting yelled at like as if I were a teenager having been caught sneaking a beer and smoking and having a boy in my room. And she is hurtling insults at me, telling me what a horrible selfish indignant daughter I was for writting such flagrant lies and demanded I seriously get my priorities straight and relize she is not the bad guy its everyone else who is the problem not her. I overslept the next day and missed half my shift before we were let off early to celebrate Christmas.
Tl;dr: I wrote down diary entries in microsoft word on my laptop, my mother saw the documents on her computer in her taskview and became furious when she read them.
JustHere2RuinUrDay: Sheesh does sound like whatever you wrote in those docs was warranted.
Zefram71: OP is not to blame for being honest in her diary, that's what they are for. Mom shouldn't have read them, and a healthy person, besides not reading someones diary, would want to work it out with their adult child.
JustHere2RuinUrDay: Thank you for agreeing with my comment?
Zefram71: Oh, I misinterpreted your comment, apologies.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1654273495 | 1654293988 | t3_v4341h | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking our elderly neighbor to the grocery store every week with me.
A couple of months ago, I had read that the cabin filter of cars need to be checked, and sure enough ours was dirty and needed replacing. Soon after, the car started to smell bad like something died in there. Did a mouse or rat get in there somewhere while I was struggling to put the new filter in?
It was getting to be embarrassing to take our neighbor grocery shopping with me, as the smell in the car persisted and she was not quite chatty as she usually is. Even asked if she was alright . . . fine and dandy.
My partner complained every time we went out for our errands, despite me explaining that the new cabin filter is allowing city air to now get in. I was starting to get disappointed in our car, as we have taken pretty good care of it. So much for reading the advice about filters.
Got invited a few weeks ago to a party, an outdoor one where everyone brings a dish. That party is tomorrow, so I decided to vacuum and wash our car this morning. I found an expanded one-pound tube of Kroger hamburger underneath the passenger seat. It must have been slowly leaking as it had not exploded.
The smell is now gone, and it is so nice and clean.
TL;DR: Failed to make sure to bring all groceries in every time, neighbor's hamburger fell out of bag and was gassing the car.
[deleted]: Oof. Glad you found it
[deleted]: Ouch, just realized she might be thinking I stole her hamburger.
Federal_Diamond8329: Show it to her and explain that you just found it and that’s why the car smelled bad
[deleted]: I will show her the picture, and will buy her something next time we go.
Federal_Diamond8329: Good, she might have not wanted to say anything about the smell because she was afraid you’d be offended. OTOH, if she had mentioned the missing meat you might have found it earlier.
| 6 | 5.666667 | |
1654199264 | 1654275916 | t3_v3h773 | t5_2to41 | 16 | ajameshill94: TIFU by shitting my pants in "Marvin's Rocket" at the Warner Brothers store
Obligatory this did not happen today, but at some point in the late 90s when I was either 5 or 6. When I was a young child, my grandmother often took me to the shopping mall down the road as it had plenty of play areas and activities to keep me occupied. My favorite thing to do at the mall, however, was to visit the Warner Brothers store as I absolutely adored Looney Tunes and I *especially* loved to play in Marvin The Martians Rocket or "Marvin's Rocket" as it was labelled in the store. I can still remember that tinny Marvin voice telling me that "my cosmological clock is ticking!".
On one particularly hot day, my grandmother took me to the mall as she normally did, and as per my usual routine I headed straight for the WB store and to my favorite rocket ship. I remember sitting on the floor of the ship, pressing the various different buttons, when all of the sudden I felt an intense rumbling in my stomach, followed by the most sudden urge to evacuate my bowels that I have ever experienced. Before I was even able to comprehend what was happening, I was shitting my pants full force and it got **everywhere**. I happened to be alone in the rocket as it was happening, and when the torrent of shit had finally stopped I went into panic mode. In an attempt to clean up the horrific mess I just made all over myself and the ship, I took off my shorts and soiled underwear and attempted to wipe myself down with the clean side of the underwear. To this day I am still very grateful that no other child entered the ship during, what is to date, my lowest moment. Once I realized that there was no way I could properly clean up the ship, or myself for that matter, I quickly put my shorts back on, threw the soiled underwear into a corner, and quite literally abandoned ship.
I was so mortified by what had just happened that I couldn't bare to come clean to my grandmother about what had just transpired, and so I walked around the mall in the incredibly hot heat with her for probably another hour or so. I suppose I did a good enough job wiping myself off as she did not notice anything wrong until we got all the way back to the car. Once we got back to the car and I got into the back seat, she immediately began to smell the remnants of the crime I had committed and confronted me about it. I came clean to her about what had happened and she was quite upset, as we now had to go back into the mall to buy me a fresh set of clothes and get me cleaned up. It turned out that because I had walked around for so long with shit in my shorts, I developed a pretty awful rash down below that didn't clear up for a number of days. I can still remember not being able to sit comfortably on anything for about a week because of that rash. I never was able to bring myself to go back to that particular WB store or back to my favorite rocket, for fear that someone might somehow figure out it was me that defiled that poor ship. I still feel immense guilt for whoever had to clean up that heinous mess.
TLDR; Had awful diarrhea in Marvin The Martian's Rocket Ship, fled the scene of the crime sans underpants, and developed a horrible rash from walking around with shit in my shorts in the heat for so long.
Katybee18: Do you remember what caused it? Just curious
ajameshill94: Unfortunately I cannot remember that specific detail. As I mentioned it was a notably hot day so its possible I overheated in the rocket ship, hence the sudden upset stomach, but it honestly could have been anything.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1654277705 | 1654279749 | t3_v44kzq | t5_2to41 | 9 | MrApe824: Tifu by being an eccentric idiot
So this happened maybe a couple months ago but I’m just thinking about it now.
I’m 14 and my parents are divorced. My dad shows up to come get me on a Friday night and I forgot to grab all my stuff so I’m kind of rushing to put all my stuff in my backpack. (Nintendo switch, phone, PS4. Etc.) along with accessories for all these things. I’m about to unplug my hdmi cord out of my tv when I get a (stupid) idea. I grab the cable from lower down on the chord and yank it out. To my surprise it doesn’t come out and instead my tv falls and breaks on the floor. Instant regret. Luckily he had an extra tv in my basement that I’m still using till this day but I feel so stupid for accidentally breaking my tv.
TLDR; yanked out an hdmi chord out of me tv, it just made the tv fall over and it broke.
ltRobinCrusoe: >Regret.png
Is this 4chan?
Reads like it
>Be me
>my parents are divorced.
> dad shows up to come get you on a Friday night
>Forget to grab all your stuff
>so you kind of rushing to put all my stuff in my backpack
>Nintendo switch, phone, PS4, PS5, Gaming PC, Oculus Rift, Fire HD 10 2021, you know the usual junk
>I get a (stupid) idea
>grab the cable from lower down on the chord and yank it out
>doesn’t come out and instead my tv falls and breaks on the floor
>Regret.png
>Luckily dad had an extra hi-fi-surround cinema in MY basement
MrApe824: I don’t really use 4chan and don’t know much about it. I think you can say this about any post. I was just going through what happened step by step. I can’t tell if this is an insult or not
ltRobinCrusoe: The "Regret.png" thing is a common 4Chan thing to write... Never seen it outside of tgat tbh
No it's not an insult (maybe a little) it was meant as funni bit
MrApe824: I don’t think 4chan is as popular as it was in earlier days of the internet. I think I see 4chan post reposted onto tik tok though. Yeah I guess it is a tad cringe.
ltRobinCrusoe: Oh brother let me tell you 4chan is as popular as in the old days (what ever that is supposed to mean... 4chan started 2003),... The 4Chan folks are just a... Lets say... different bunch...
MrApe824: I guess so. I don’t know anyone who uses 4chan
| 7 | 1.285714 | |
1654277695 | 1654281614 | t3_v44kvm | t5_2to41 | 12 | Christianpunkboy: TIFU by being a weird Christian
[removed]
PhelesDragon: First off, not a TIFU. Second, the bible also has sections about divorce being forbidden and people being stoned to death for certain crimes. We don't really do that anymore, do we? Each era of the Bible has its own rules and statutes set for the humans of that time, and God hasn't given us a patch for the modern era. And even if you don't buy into what I just said, remember you're supposed to love sinners and hate the sin, so there should be nothing stopping you from being kind and good to everyone, regardless.
dhwga: My favorite is the part about stoning rebellious children. Oh, and selling one's daughters as sex slaves.
| 3 | 4 | |
1654276926 | 1654281809 | t3_v44bdb | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking a beer on a playground and sliding down a fireman pole
[deleted]
Sebslocker: Fuckin whaat? 6K!! How??
Thick_Part760: It wasn’t covered under my medical plan to get extensive tooth work like implants, crowns or abutments. It’s not cheap.
Sebslocker: I had my tooth broken in pretty bad way and they had to take rest of it in pieces. Anyway I ended up with top of the line implant for 500£ can cut wires with that thing now. What was funny I could get gold one for 200£.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1654278586 | 1655006658 | t3_v44vvr | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a coworker look through my sketchbook.
[deleted]
anbu97: Update from 5 years later
Edit: And now where happily married
Hamstr1ng: Jokes on you (and me) I just got back from a dinner date with B.
anbu97: :o
how'd it go
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1654279201 | 1654280455 | t3_v453jp | t5_2to41 | -5 | prettypers0n: TIFU by having my period while in school and the chair turning literally blood red.
[removed]
maplesyrupchin: This is, like all your posts, complete BS
prettypers0n: if you dont believe it you dont have to lmfao, plus the time stamp was 2 hours so ofc the whole chair is with blood(mind you that it was the top of it, we had those circular round chairs, not those normal ones u prob had)
Captainschitqunt: One quick look at your profile shows you're waffling for attention.
prettypers0n: ok? If you dont believe me its okay, some things ive said sound like lies but if you think they are, go for it! thats fine by me. just dont send death threats or stuff like that
maplesyrupchin: What’s this crap about death threats? Maybe less hyperbole.
prettypers0n: as in, dont get mad at me if you dont believe me, i got some death threats for some random post i didnt even make once(old account) and so, i justt want piece and no fighting,
| 7 | -0.714286 | |
1654279385 | 1654293836 | t3_v45687 | t5_2to41 | 16 | percydaman: TIFU by eating too much beef jerky and vomiting most of the night causing loss of sleep for a very full house.
Obligatory happened a few years ago. My niece was graduating from high school and I planned on attending. She lived with her mother and her newish husband several hours away so I decided to take a short holiday from the family and take a gorgeous scenic drive through rural Idaho to where she lived. This is important only because I knew I had this drive ahead of me and I decided to make some home made beef jerky to munch on.
The jerky was delicious but there's a small problem. I have jaw issues from TMJ caused primarily from an underbite. Over taxing my jaw is never a good idea. Usually not a problem with jerky since I don't eat too much at once. Even then I definitely feel it in my jaw the next day.
Anyways, I make the drive and munch on this jerky for almost the entire trip. I go to the graduation ceremony and hit the rack for the night at the home where my sister and her family live. That includes her husband's family that has made the trek from Cali. I'm rooming with my brother who I haven't seen in a couple years, which is a delight.
I fall asleep and wake up about midnight with a pretty gnarly headache going. I'm prone to headaches, again from my jaw and stress clenching in my sleep. But this one is on a whole new level. Nausea starts flowing over me in waves and I'm just moaning while wondering what to do. I'm in a strange bed, in a strange home, and I don't even have any ibuprofen or whatever to take. And then the vomiting comes. And it comes. I vomit out all the contents of my stomach and then start in on my stomach acid. And it's loud. Really loud. I woke up the entire house. Nobody is sleeping at this point and my poor little brother is a little terrified. It really just seems never ending, and everyone is asking me what could be the cause. Food poisoning, alcohol, you name it. I'm so out of it, I can't even really think.
Eventually, the vomiting takes its course and the headache subsides enough that I can finally go back to bed positively drenched in sweat. I kept alot of people awake for easily a few hours. I wake up the next morning just exhausted and while I have no headache, my jaw is just killing me. That's the first time it hits me, that all that jerky I ate really overtaxed my jaw and likely was the culprit. I was more than a little embarrassed I had to keep talking about it to people who I had only just met, and had been kept up for multiple hours while I did my thing. Lesson learned about jerky or even chewing gum too long.
TLDR: Ate too much jerky and causes jaw issues that caused a long night of listening to me vomit from a horrendous headache for alot of people.
ghoulshow: Does TMJ normally cause vomiting? I have never thrown up from it?
percydaman: The TMJ caused a massive headache which caused the nausea which caused the vomiting.
ghoulshow: Ahhhhh okay, I dont think my TMJ is nearly that bad. That sucks dude!
| 4 | 4 | |
1654281517 | 1654282195 | t3_v45wsi | t5_2to41 | 1 | justastackofpancakes: TIFU by driving a manual sports car
Of course this didn't happen today. It happened like 8 months ago, forgive me. The repercussions are still being felt to this day.
I drive a WRX and my drive to work was a 45 minute stretch up and over a mountain with all the fun of being highly twisty and somehow very little traffic for being a state highway. Now, I love to race cars but I won't do it on public roads since there's too many variables that can't all be accounted for. Way too much danger all around.
Anyways, I was on my way to work and it was raining that day. The speed limit is 55 being an unmarked state highway and I was coming up to a tight triple S turn, so I had slowed to 45, downshifted into 3rd gear and was letting engine braking slow me even further to be safe. After glancing down to see my speed at 45, I looked back up to see a man IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LANE, flailing his arms above his head, WHILE POWER WALKING AT ME and screaming for me to slow down (I'm already doing 10 under and slowing further at this point). I had to brake very sharply and because the road was wet, I slid about 2 feet towards the end of the braking, coming to a stop about 20 feet away from this guy (note that these aren't exaggerated distances by any means. I'm very good at calculating distances like these for actual racing purposes). At this point, I see that he's a fire fighter wearing a very dull red "safety" vest, which made him extremely hard to see on the green background of the trees as a semi-colorblind person.
He's still screaming (yes, literally screaming) at me for driving fast and that there was a semi wreck up ahead. He calls over the walky-talky to ask if any cars are coming from the other direction, gets a "no" reply, and makes me wait a couple minutes anyways. (Keep in mind I'm on my way to work and it was already going to be close). Finally, he lets me go and as I go to pull off slowly, he again starts screaming at me to drive slow. I'm really confused as I'm only doing 10mph past the whole thing, wondering what the fuck this guy's problem is. I pass the semi and see another fire fighter off the road on the opposite side and as I'm merging back into my lane, HE starts running at the back end of my car, screaming at me to go slow. (I'm literally still at 15mph as I had JUST started to increase speed since I was past the semi and not in proximity to anyone). That whole encounter was really weird and I'm also a little late now, so I ran through first gear to get back up to speed quickly. For reference, my car does 30mph max in first gear and I wasn't trying to redline, so it was around 25mph when I shifted and settled back into my daily driving.
All the way on the other end of the mountain, I see a police car sitting in a driveway with his nose pointed towards the road. He pulls out behind me and 2 minutes later, flips his lights on. I immediately pulled over and noticed there were 5 more police cars that quickly surrounded me. The officer is looking confused as he tells me the fire chief just called his chief and told him I had come racing up, almost hit him, then fishtailed as I sped off. That baffled me as that is not even close to what happened. I explained the scenario and he called the police chief to have a chat while the other officers came up to keep an eye on me. After waiting 20 minutes, they asked me to sit in the passenger seat of the ticketing officer who told me he was being ordered to write a reckless driving ticket even though he personally didn't think it was right.
The only thing I can think of why the fire chief would think I'm driving fast is being in a manual sports car makes a lot of engine noise at higher rpms even if I'm not going fast. Now I've been driving on egg shells for the past 8 months trying to get this stupid ticket thrown away or at the very least reduced because having that on my record means I'm not able to become a commercial pilot and that entire career path is closed to me. On top of all that, I've had to pay for a lawyer, pay for court costs, and also all the gas I've used driving 2h round trip to court 3 times.
Bonus fun fact: That fire chief was in court today (WHERE HE'S KNOWN TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE JUDGE) and said "If I'd had my gun on me that day, I'd have shot him."
TLDR: Fire chief exaggerated the fuck out of how close I came to him when coming up to a wreck and also about how fast I drove in/off. Have now spent 8 months and about $600 fighting a reckless driving ticket.
topcat5: I don't think your problems were caused by a manual transmission.
justastackofpancakes: That's all I could think of since I wasn't even close to hitting him. Maybe he was just pissed off to get called out to perform traffic control in the rain, which I understand. Abusing his power to pull strings and get me cited for reckless driving is a shitty way of taking out his anger though.
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1654284175 | 1654306082 | t3_v46ul6 | t5_2to41 | 19 | Pyralover: TIFU sending a girl I like my old laptop
Context for this: I have a group of online friends I’ve known for about 4 years now. It consists of me and my irl best friend that I went to school with, and then two of our friends who also went to school with each other. B is the one I have a crush on, A is B’s irl best friend.
I developed a crush on B the past couple months after being friends for so long and we have been hitting it off really well. We already call and play games a ton but now It was nightly and we played the game valorant a lot. Even aside from that we text all the time, and started calling alone apart from the group. B’s computer is really really bad however. And when we play she runs the game at like 15 fps, and though she doesn’t mind it she says we can tell it kinda gets her down and she feels like she drags us down in the game. So I had an idea, I have this old laptop I used before I got my PC and it is pretty decent, easily runs valorant at 60 fps low settings. I haven’t used the thing in 2 years, so I was like, why not? If it can maker her happy that’ll be sick. I get it all prepared and send it. Yesterday, A texts me and tells me that she’s going to B’s house and is gonna give B her old laptop so I don’t have to send mine. A knew I was sending B mine, but hadn’t known I sent it yet. Fast forward to today where In the same day, my laptop arrives to b’s house, and A gives B her laptop, which is way better than mine, and all day B has been talking about using A’s laptop and how good it is. So like????? I just sent mine for nothing??? It feels like A just fucked me over for no reason and idk what to do. It feels wrong to ask for my laptop back.
TLDR: I sent my online crush my laptop, but she got gifted one by her friend the same day.
skawn: You haven't used it in two years. That's like a lifetime in the computing world. Do you care about that laptop enough to want it back?
Pyralover: I don’t. I just feel stupid for sending it now.
MuskyLion: You shouldn't feel stupid, man. It was the thought that counts. Why haven't you asked her out yet, though?
Pyralover: 0 confidence i almost did last week actually, told myself I’ll give it some more time to see if she’s really into me. This situation also lowered my confidence a bit more. Thanks though, I’ll try to feel less stupid lol!
MuskyLion: No reason to feel stupid, man. Confidence is key, and that's teachable. Start small with randos, then work your way up to the big show. You'll stop feeling like an idiot after the 10th rando rejection.
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1654284972 | 1654290190 | t3_v474we | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my dentist parents about my jaw pain
[deleted]
Bozwell99: How big was this guy!?
throwaway678231: Literally a normal size, but it was my first time performing oral so maybe I did something wrong or I’m just not used it it.
We’d also been French kissing for hours before so maybe that contributed
StatisticianLivid710: Yes, this is why you hopefully have a different dentist
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1654285523 | 1654360236 | t3_v47c0g | t5_2to41 | 13 | 13k_chris: TIFU by pouring water on my head.
I know this seems minor, but it had consequences. I was talking to a girl I like a lot, and she asked me to do something silly that I wouldn’t regret doing, and to send a video of me doing it. I sat there for about an hour thinking of things I should do, then I thought about it. I would pour a gallon of water on my head. I gathered my gallon which took me about a minute to fill up then I proceeded to lay in bed and pour. I did say in bed which was a massive mistake. Turns out water sets into your bed and I forgot about that. While recording I thought of one thing, MILDEW. Now I know what mildew is and how awful it smells, but I thought nothing of it then and just put a towel on my bed. Huge mistake. Because I went back to lay down and oh- my god the smell. It was horrendous. I really don’t know what to do besides wash my sheets, which I’m doing right now. I am thinking I will sleep in the living room tonight, or for the next few nights. I’d include the video because I saved it, but it’s really f****** stupid now that I look back on it lol. Don’t do this.
TL:DR please, I’ve learned that if you ever want to pour water on your head, don’t.
boringbasicwhitegirl: Drag that mattress outside and let the summer heat and sun dry it out as much as possible. You might never get rid of the smell 100% but the faster you act the better.
13k_chris: Forgot to reply, did this, worked a little bit. Ty
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1654288957 | 1654291201 | t3_v48jnb | t5_2to41 | 19 | Used_Affect4681: TIFU by gassing myself
I wanted to clean my bathtub today, and started to use regular bleach (granted I was probably using WAY too much in the first place) but ran out before I could finish so I used a second bathroom cleaning agent. After a while I started feeling a burning in my throat and chest. Because I'm a total dumb ass, I didn't remove myself from the bathroom, but continued to wash the rest of it down the drain (to make sure it was all gone I guess). Then I opened all the windows and got the F out. Had to go to the hospital but got away with a simple airway irritation. I got lucky, I could have caused myself permanent damage. Turns out I made chlorine gas, because when I fuck up, I like to make sure I FUCK up good.
Also I'm 25. Way too old to be this dumb. I'm a little worried I nuked my last two remaining brain cells today.
TL;DR Gassed myself while cleaning the bathtub. Mixed bleach with other cleaning agents and accidentally made chlorine
watch_out_4_snakes: We did this back in high school while cleaning the bathrooms at the football stadium…it was not a pleasant experience🙁
watch_out_4_snakes: Always read labels on chemicals!
Used_Affect4681: Do you have any advice for me post bleach? They tested my blood and said I wasn't poisoned but I'm feeling a tad lightheaded although I don't know if its just placebo. Also can't get the smell out of my place even after ventilating for 12 hours, which is also stressing me out about the fumes still being around or something
brushpickerjoe: I had a buddy accidentally mix a load of meth with bleach and shot it. He smelled like a swimming pool but he was ok after a day.
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1654289710 | 1654336381 | t3_v48t1t | t5_2to41 | 15 | invadergirll: TIFU by forgetting to be the Tooth Fairy
My son (6M) had his third top tooth fall out yesterday and we placed the tooth in a glass of water for the Tooth Fairy. Silly me forgot to make the exchange and he comes in to my room in the morning very upset. My gut sank as soon as he said “the Tooth Fairy didn’t come”, clearly feeling very let down and upset about it all. It was still dark so I just said the Fairy must have been busy and because it’s not yet day (although it was 6:30am), I comforted him that ofc she’ll turn up soon. She must have been busy last night so we just have to stay out of his bedroom because we can’t see her.
I put him on his iPad and I ‘conveniently’ forget that my glasses are in the car. I go out to the car and collect not just 1 gold coin but 2 gold coins because the Tooth Fairy’s feeling pretty guilty (if there was a note in there she’d certainly be giving that away). I come back inside having ‘found’ my glasses and need to go to bathroom. So upon going down the hall I make the quick exchange, come out and flush the toilet for good luck.
He has yet to go back into his room to discover that the tooth Fairy has visited but i am hoping I’ve salvaged it.
TL;DR; forgetting to exchange my sons tooth for a gold coin
Big-Breadfruit-4894: 6 months and already changing teeth? Must be getting a lot of calcium.
You didn’t fuck up though. :)
dizzymissxo: Pretty sure they meant 6 year old Male...
invadergirll: It would be hella impressive for a 6 month old but alas I do mean a 6 year old boy
Fit_Party_8577: Nah it should be phrased like this for six you use the word son so it’s implied he’s male so it would go “my son (6)” or if you could have said “my child (6 m)” both meant six male but (6m) means 6 months
| 5 | 3 | |
1654283237 | 1654299320 | t3_v46ily | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by melting chocolate on my ass during a flight
[deleted]
WulfyFox: At least you didn’t smell.
TheFightGoes0n: This. It was just a silly moment from childhood. It wasn’t really crap. It was just chocolate that is easily washable.
| 3 | 11 | |
1654291326 | 1654292259 | t3_v49dsf | t5_2to41 | 26 | KingjellybeanIV: TIFU by not knowing how a "normal" anus it's supposed to look and having an hemorrhoid for 3-4 years.
So this has been happening for 4-3 years and i didn't realise until a week ago.
I am little bit graphic in case you are not confortable with that.
It all started when I (M) was about 18 years old. It was summer and i had much more free time so i started exploring myself and hoeing around. So during that summer i met a couple of guys and basically slept with them. After that i had a little discomfort in my anus, the thing is that i thought that it was normal to have that kind of pain after having gay sex, turns out its not, that situation extended for two or three weeks that i spent with ache in my bum, and sometimes when i went to the toilet i could see a drop of blood.
In that moment i realise that it was not normal the situation, but i REALLY thought the cause was that i was having anal sex, i was in the closet so i didn't want to tell my parents that i wanted to go to the doctor cause my ass hurts from all the gay sex i was having.
Since then, almost every time i had used the back door there was something there that cause me pain, but i, a dumbass thought it was due to me having a narrow booty and that AND ONLY THAT would explain the situation.
Fastforward to the present, I have been in a serious relationship for 9 months and i hardly received a visit in my dumper because of the pain, so a week ago as a result of not being able to be railed in a long time, i had a fortuitous idea, and it occurred to me, that maybe what i had was and haemorrhoid, even tho i have no idea what that was, so i checked that out and turns out that what i have had for 4 years is an external haemorrhoid. Now in treatment and all good.
The funny thing, it's that is an external haemorrhoid, so you can see it, but i always assumed that is what a normal anus it's like if take a really close look. So despite being totally aware of the aspect of arse never thought that there was something anormal about it.
​
TL;DR - I've been having and hemorrhoid for 4 years, but i thought that the pain was due to having sex. Turns out it's not normal to have that kind of discomfort, and until a week ago i never realise that the aspect of my anus wasn't "normal" and that it's not how it's supposed to look.
ParaponeraBread: And none of the dudes plugging you up, even the current partner had the decency to tell you you had a hemorrhoid?
Dang, fellas.
lifesurferdude: Boys were horny as fack
FreeOffbrandTherapy: They might of liked how it felt.
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1654291271 | 1654356352 | t3_v49d61 | t5_2to41 | 91 | Ratiohead_99: TIFU by lying to my crush and accidentally getting a band back together
No, literally.
It all started when I found my crush's spotify, so of course I had to take advantage of that. I looked through one of her playlists and found this very weird underground band that had less than a hundred listeners, so, I decided to post a story with one of their songs.
She immediately replied to my story
"How do you kow that band? " I then told her I heard it on the radio a while ago (wich of course wasn't true). She texted me "really????????????" to wich I replied yes and the conversation ended there. Or so I thought.
About three days later, she calls me. I got very surprised since I've had a crush on her for about 2 years. I put my best voice and answer.
As soon as I answer, she starts telling me how the song I posted was by a band her dad was in his mid 20's and I start to panick. She then says that she had told her dad the song he made decades ago was on the radio, (his band was never succesful enough to even be on the radio, thus the reason for their breakup), and this man CALLS ALL of the ex-members. At this point I knew I was fucked.
She proceeds to tell me theyre getting back to play after twenty years. All because their band was suposedly getting recognition after all these years.
She invited me watch them play next week, wich is good I think, but I feel very bad for making them so exited about something that isn't true. TL;DR
Polyglyph: Against all odds, a little lie ended up turning very personal and ignited some hope and happiness! Sounds like you need some damage prevention, if you talk to them in person they’ll probably want to know more. So, here’s some rough technical info so you don’t get yourself in trouble, because ‘radio’ is a very broad term.
AM radio stations are often extremely local and their signals short range, like, ‘couple-of-towns-over’ local. Their signal is even shorter range during the day but travels further at night. So if you ‘heard it’ on AM then it’s from around you, maybe on a college station. Some AM stations may keep long-term archives, many don’t, or only for a little while.
FM radio can be longer distance, but usually more corporation-run, though of course there still are publicly funded, NPR, and college broadcasting stations. Keep in mind the more official a station, the more likely they will have logs or archives somewhere or be able to be called into to ask about this song.
If you don’t want to get their expectations too high, AM is your safe bet. It’s very location-specific, which makes it more likely someone local liked their performance and played one of their songs.
whollings077: you got am and fm round the wrong way btw
Polyglyph: Which part?
https://www.diffen.com/difference/AM_vs_FM
Edit: you’re right, some of the distance bit. I was wrong, the facts are in the link tho.
| 4 | 22.75 |
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