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1654462895 | 1654532527 | t3_v5mike | t5_2to41 | 2,450 | Cactus_souls: Tifu by opening my arms when water was dumped on me.
This happened 20 minutes ago.
I took a visit to my public pool to swim and have fun. There's a thing at my pool that dumps water on you every once in a while. There are a couple buckets that fill with water and tip over and dump a shit ton of water on you. This is where the fuck up happened. I decided to open my arms and do the whole Andy Dufresne thing that he did at the end of Shawshank. when the bucket tipped over and when a bunch of water was dumped on me it took the strap to my bathing suit. Now. My bathing suit shows cleavage, so it doesn't have much coverage to begin with. I exposed myself to the entire pool on accident. I swam away pretty damn fast. I'm not sure if anyone saw, I think the lifeguard (who is an acquaintance) saw my titty fall out. I looked around and didn't see anyone else.
Tldr: Got water dumped on me and a titty fell out of my bathing suit at the public pool.
threedogcircus: Hahaha I think every woman accidentally flashes a pool or beach-going crowd at least once in their life!
Haywe: If that's true, then statistically I must be the unluckiest bystander in the world
Codeofconduct: Get out of your own head and look around you, man! Accidental titty happens all the time in the world, and I have flashed crowds my ass on a windy day in a skirt countless times. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Haywe: You're telling me asses are being flashed too?? Why the hell am I paying for porn??
Codeofconduct: Bewbs and butts, all around you. Just look around you... Haha
| 6 | 408.333333 | |
1654466842 | 1654467957 | t3_v5nts2 | t5_2to41 | 20 | lLeeeon: TIFU by not appreciating my mom..
I (16m) was just playing my video games today with 3 of my friends and my mom came in. She wanted me to do this Asian thing (not sure what it’s called) where you sit under a blanket and breathe in fumes from some sort of concoction.
I, being my stupid self got frustrated simply because I wanted to keep playing my games. Later, she’s now mad at me and I feel super bad.
I missed out on what could’ve been maybe a bonding experience, and I feel super unappreciative of my mother.
Problem is I can’t simply apologize because she’s raised me and my siblings to believe saying sorry is bad, as you’ve already F’ed up. If I said sorry right now, she would tell me not to talk to her and that I should’ve just done it, and still be mad at me. So yeah.
I feel horrible and it’s just another case of me being a bad and unappreciative child. I’m 16, I should be mature, but I’m not.
Thanks for reading if you did. I had to get this off my chest.
TL;DR my mom wanted me to do something with her and I didn’t want to do it because I was too busy playing games to realize how my mother just wanted to take care of me.
DeepFudge9235: Or your mother could have waited until your friends left. Seems weird she picked a time to do that when friends were over. Didn't she raise you not to be rude to guests? Because that would have been rude to leave them to breathe that stuff.
Maybe approach it like that without admitting fault
Mom, you raised me to be respectful of guests and if I left the room to breathe that stuff that would have been rude. You didn't want me to be rude did you?
lLeeeon: No no, I’m sorry for being confusing,
I was talking to them online. Not while we had ppl over
DeepFudge9235: You can still say I was in the middle of something with my friends and didn't want to be rude.
| 4 | 5 | |
1654466991 | 1654484844 | t3_v5nvia | t5_2to41 | 140 | cashvamp: TIFU by using seasonally flavored lube
[removed]
laurabun136: So you got dominated by the gingerbread man.
cashvamp: Consider my senses fully overpowered, yes. And to boot: he made everything all sticky.
laurabun136: A personal question and of course you don't have to answer: how did you get into your line of work?
cashvamp: Honestly working for other people is the worst. I've got a big ego and half an art degree that doesn't bode well for working for anyone but myself.
The work aligns with my values pretty well, I make enough money to live, and I get to enjoy (some) freedoms that would otherwise be out of my reach. Decrim would be nice, but that's a discussion for another day.
laurabun136: Thanks for answering. I don't want to call your profession unusual but it is different and piques my curiosity. Have a great life!
| 6 | 23.333333 | |
1654468256 | 1654526754 | t3_v5oat6 | t5_2to41 | 2,727 | cloudyeonies: TIFU by playing Cards Against Humanity with new friends
For context, I am a 19 year old college student, and this took place in our dorm lounge with 3 other people who knew each other very well. I was recently introduced to their group and we all agreed to play a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity after a storm knocked out power, leaving us stuck inside.
I'm usually a strong player but during this game I was really far behind. I decided to just go all out with some of my cards, even if they were way too ballsy, and for this round, the black card was as follows:
"________. Betcha can't just have one!"
Immediately, I slam down "A brain tumor." I'm pretty confident that I'm going to win this round, and I can't stop giggling as the guy judging shuffles the responses and begins to read them off. His face suddenly goes red as he looks at the first card, and he starts chucking as he lays my card down. I start laughing as he reads it off between breaths, but an uneasy silence is birthed between the other two girls playing, who stare at each other, then me, then the card czar, then me again.
I slowly stop laughing, and it is at this moment that I am informed that the Card Czar has terminal brain cancer.
I immediately feel horrible but he gives me a hug and says he thought it was hilarious, to not feel bad, and we all shakily laugh before he crowns me the winner of the round. I won, but at what cost?
TL;DR: Played a cancer card on someone who has cancer in Cards Against Humanity.
HawXR: Well to be fair, it kinda is what that game is about....
If you know the game, you know the card. So he must have known before he started. So nothing to worry about.
Indocede: Clearly you've never accidentally played the game with people who are a bit... Puritanical. The sort of people that go for a cutesy answer as opposed to a perfectly horrifying joke about dying children
KalessinDB: For those people, you should be playing Apples to Apples.
Indocede: But at what point in Apples to Apples is it appropriate to bring out the "Biggest, Blackest Cock?"
DredZedPrime: Now I kinda feel like I want to mix in a few random disguised CAH cards into an Apples to Apples deck without telling anyone.
alexanderpas: Sleeves.
| 7 | 389.571429 | |
1654468770 | 1654470531 | t3_v5ogun | t5_2to41 | 17 | Abroad-Civil: TIFU by re-meeting my childhood sweetheart while currently having a girlfriend
First of all, I must say this mostly happened last week however is an ongoing problem. The childhood sweetheart in question is a girl who I knew when I was young. Her family and mine were always incredibly close however my family moved countries before I was 10 cutting off the connection almost entirely. There was a few meetings over the years but maybe 2 or 3 at most with none being memorable or for more than an hour.
Now, last week I attended a big family wedding with easily 200 people in attendance. Unbeknownst to me, she would be there. My girlfriend did not come with me as we have not been together that long and I would feel bad putting her in that much of an intense social situation. From the minute I saw her I had the most genuine experience of butterflies I have ever had. We got on amazing. House on fire. Spent the whole night drinking and sneaking away from our families to smoke. Just talking about everything and anything. I soon came to the realisation that she has a boyfriend which did not come as a surprise. However from the hour long conversation with her father who seemed to enjoy my company, the relationship was not stable. Since the wedding we have kept in contact and speak daily which I don’t hide from my girlfriend, just not the part where she is the true embodiment of my childhood sweetheart.
Now the big problem, is now she is all I can think about in times I REALLY should not be thinking of her. All the time she is in a different country and I am trying to love my girlfriend the same as before without worrying her about a thing. I know I shouldn’t think about her as such a pursuit is out of reach for many reasons, but I can’t help it…
TL;DR: Met my childhood sweetheart while having a girlfriend and can’t stop thinking about her since.
DeepFudge9235: You are heading to breaking hearts and even your own if you don't get a handle on this. It's not fair to your GF or even yourself. If you really like the sweetheart more and can't get her out of your head, do the right thing and break it off with the GF. You aren't being honest with her when you have these feelings for someone else.
Abroad-Civil: thing is i know there’s no point chasing something hopeless with someone in a different country, and i know myself well enough to know that my relationship will be back to normal shortly it’s just a short period of time stuck with someone in my head who i’m not really gonna be with
DeepFudge9235: And what happens the next time you guys meet but you are in a even longer relationship with your GF? Do you think your feeling will stay hidden or get the butterflies like you did this time?
The point also is not the chasing, what if she told she was moving to where you are for a change. How would you then handle it? You need to be honest with yourself. Would you dump the current GF if that happened?
If the answer is yes then again you are not being honest nor fair to your GF, she is like a consolation prize in comparison to the girl you really want. Again make the decision that's most honest to all concern so you don't hurt your GF needlessly.
Good luck
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1654469557 | 1654473642 | t3_v5oqal | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: Tifu by wearing lifts
[deleted]
asakmotsd: Meh - wait until your spine starts shrinking. I was embarrassed to be 5’8”. I would tell people I was 5’9”. Suddenly, I’m 5’7”.
It is what it is.
wiedmaier: I know that pain! I was 6’9” in high school, but I’m down to 6’8” now.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1654471143 | 1654548737 | t3_v5p8hz | t5_2to41 | 2,582 | thegalorian: TIFU by unknowingly calling a movie “mediocre” outside the writer/director’s apartment window
This just happened.
I was walking around the neighborhood with my friend and gf. One of the apartments we passed had a window (first floor) with a series of random movies and magazines lined up in front of the curtain. It wasn’t professionally done or anything—I didn’t think anything of it. People put weird stuff behind their windows all the time.
This is when the fuck up happens.
Without a thought I pointed to the one film of the lot I’d seen and say: “mediocre movie.”
I don’t know why I said that. We’d just been talking about our favorite films—so maybe that’s why I was so offhandedly candid.
Anyway…that’s when I hear a voice from INSIDE the apartment respond:
“They’re not that bad.”
My heart breaks. I know exactly what’s happened. This is LA. I should have known better. These aren’t just some movies / magazines some rando put in front of their window. These are HIS movies and magazines. He’s showcasing them because he’s PROUD of his work.
I’m SUCH an asshole.
I’ve spent sooo many years being so careful in LA about ever being negative about a movie or show in public. In theaters, I always wait until the car before saying if I disliked something. In LA you just never know. Also, making stories and sharing them with the world is a super vulnerable experience and takes a lot of guts—just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean they need to hear that shit.
And here’s the real kicker: I don’t even hate the movie or anything. Hell, I even like it—I own it. The film just didn’t fully land for me. Also it’s been over a decade since I saw it, so maybe I’d love it if I saw it again?? Who knows.
I try to recover and take it back (I would never be so mean to anyone about their work; and like I said, it’s a good movie. I was just not thinking)
Me: “I didn’t hate it! It was just…”
A face appears in the window adjacent to the films. “It didn’t work for you. It’s ok.”
Me: “No, it’s not even that. I mean, I did like it… Does it help that I own the movie?”
Him: “That helps”
I’m trying to think how to be honest and say I liked it actually, that I was just being dumb…fuck.
This is my worst nightmare.
And I mean, there are so many bad filmmakers out there and he is definitely not one of those. The movie WAS good. It just didn’t land for me all the way. Fuck.
“Well, try this one” he points to another one lining his window. “I think you’ll dig it.”
He’s being so nice. Really. Seems like a really nice dude.
Me: “Deal! I’ll leave you a sticky note on the window with my review”
Him: “Do it!”
We part ways. I keep walking with my head hung low. My friend + gf cannot believe that just happened. I feel so bad.
As we walk away I IMDb the movie in question and look at the photo of the director / writer: yep, that’s the guy.
So anyway, lesson learned. On the bright side: what a nice guy! And also, I now have a movie to watch!
TL;DR. TIFU by calling a movie I saw in an apartment window mediocre. Turns out the writer/director lives there and overheard. He was super nice about it and after a nice little apologetic chat I agreed to watch another of his movies and leave a review of it on his window after.
Edit: since there was some confusion on the matter, just to clarify, the director/writer makes indie movies. They’re on DVD / Blu-Ray, they are streaming, but not big Hollywood films.
Meanabix: What was the movie in question?
thegalorian: Sorry! Unless the guy in question sees this and says it’s ok to reveal, I’m going to leave the person/film in question unnamed
GerberBabyPlus: It was that piece of shit Morbius movie, wasn’t it?
Dark_Jester: What's wrong with that movie? The finale was phenomenal. When they all come together and yell, "IT'S MORBIN TIME!" and become one giant-ass vampire kaiju thing. Great stuff.
try2bcool69: You're making that up, aren't you.
LunarMuphinz: *Noone* knows because *nobody* saw it.
HonorableHam: It truly does amaze me that Sony saw a joke about no one having seen their movie explode on the internet, and thought that meant people wanted to see that movie
TheFirebyrd: Corporations desperately want to tap into viral marketing but almost never actually get the internet enough to succeed (though occasionally we get something like the original Old Spice Guy).
[deleted]: I just found out snakes on a plane didn't make much money. I thought it had a cult following. I never actually saw it, but it was a gigantic meme back in the day.
TheFirebyrd: I think everyone loved the idea more than they wanted to watch the actual movie, which is presumably really bad.
| 11 | 234.727273 | |
1654474314 | 1654489927 | t3_v5q7se | t5_2to41 | 40 | AUR1994: TIFU by failing to properly rescue caught mouse.
I was home alone this weekend and we have one mouse in the kitchen. I know there's never only just one but I've seen no evidence of more and I know how this little guy got in but I sealed the entrance immediately after so no more got in.
We had a mini problem with them last year and until the exterminators came, my dad used glue traps on the mice. He's not a cruel person but he doesn't care for animals much. I cried my eyes out at the sight and sound of the tiny mice on the traps (don't get me started on glue traps)
So this time my dad put a glue trap in a hidden place I didnt know of.
This morning I heard the little guy crying, investigated and found him on the glue trap. I'd be damned if I let him suffer ( I rescued a lizard from one last year) so I did my research, put on my gloves, gathered my materials and got to work. I got him off the glue trap, and into a container that I covered with a towel. It was high enough that he had enough oxygen. I put water in a cup for him too and left him to calm down and relax. Then i took warm water and qtips and wiped the oil off of him. He seemed to like that and I thought he was okay with me cause he kept turning to look at me when I would wipe his back (he was REALLY cute). He seemed really relaxed. I even fed him some water with a straw and he drank a small amount. I know it's dumb but I feel like we really bonded (I've always wanted pets but my parents always said no).
I covered him back and went to clean up before driving to where I would release him. If my dad or mom knew what I'd done they'd go ballistic for obvious reasons so I had to leave NO evidence. I came back and Mr. Mouse escaped and sat right next to the container. He saw me and darted into a corner. I tried to recapture him. This mouse looked me in my face like a final FU and ran into a hidden crevice.
TL;DR: caught a mouse in the house, attempted to secretly rescue him from a glue trap but instead let him escape back into house
popcornbeepboop: Snap trap. Peanut butter. Trash. Done.
AUR1994: Is it bad that I don't want to hurt him? I know he's just a mouse and he's vermin. I know that your way is swift and he'll die immediately but it hurts my heart to do that
YonkoRex: If your gnna let them go, you gotta yeet them to another house lol
AUR1994: Oh I was gonna release him in a wooded area. I read that if you yeet them to another place where they have better options for good, they'll easily pick the better place.
| 5 | 8 | |
1654476229 | 1654500896 | t3_v5qs7m | t5_2to41 | 1,820 | hamachihamachi1: TIFU By Scaring My Daughter For Life
Obligatory: English is my first language so feel free to microcomb. On mobile so excuse formatting, and this happened about an hour ago.
So.
My daughter whom is approaching her second birthday, has had a complete obsession with cows for the last 3 months. Having grown up with cattle, this has been a wonderful phase for me personally. My wife an I have taken her to feed and brush some cows, she has all the toys and stuffed animals related to cows/farming.
Yesterday were at the nice outlet mall doing some shopping, and within said mall is a store called Lush. For those unfamiliar: Lush is an upscale bath/personal hygiene store.
Within said store they always carry a rotating selection of bath bombs. Much to our surprise and excitement, they have a cow shaped and colored bath bomb! My daughter goes nuts, pointing and having a grand time that we found a cow, so we get it for her. Not only is it her favorite animal but she loooovvvvveeeessss bath time.
So.
We fill up the tub.
We get her excited for the bath.
We give her the cow bath bomb.
She's over the moon.
She dunks the cow.
It begins to fizz.
Then it begins to liquefy in her hands.
She panics.
The bath bombs disintegrates as she tries to hold it together.
Shes scrambling to give us the peices as her cow melts into a purple soup.
Shes splashing through the water, screaming.
"COWIE?!?!?!?!"
The cow is gone.
Bath time will never be the same.
TL:DR - Got my daughter a bath bomb of her favorite animal, she had to watch as it self destructed before her eyes.
AndMarmaladeSkies: Love the obligatory! Followed immediately by using whom as a subject.
Fortunately, she is very unlikely to remember this as a 2yo. Hope you aren’t feeling too guilty. You’ll have plenty of moments like this, I can attest.
hamachihamachi1: I'm nowhere close to having a solid claim at profiency with my native language, but others try so hard that I deserve the blowback lol.
I agree that she won't remember, but I always will lol. And I know the times are coming, but this is the first so it hits hard.
AndMarmaladeSkies: I have a photo of the time that my daughter (2 at the time) snuck away to go potty by herself - without the training seat - and fell in. Like: head, feet, and arms safely sticking up but the rest all wet. And I feel like a monster because she’s mad that I stopped to take a photo instead of rushing to help her.
So when the guilt fades, which it will, choose carefully whether you want to tell her the story someday.
phyrestorm999: Yeah, I'm probably going to be the outlier here, but stopping to take a photo of your child in distress instead of helping them right away does sound pretty mean.
AndMarmaladeSkies: Oh I disagree about outlier. You are totally right. It was 100% a stupid, insensitive, new-dad move.
phyrestorm999: Oh, good. So you've deleted the photo, right?
Ishidan01: Oh heavens no, he's gonna sneak it into her wedding photo slideshow
| 8 | 227.5 | |
1654476676 | 1654562210 | t3_v5qwzd | t5_2to41 | 22,238 | thr0waway1257: TIFU by asking my roommate for sex randomly
(this story isn't really funny or extraordinary, it's more just pathetic. i don't recommend reading it.)
Alright, this happened yesterday, and I've been cringing so hard thinking about it that it's tough to focus on anything else, and I just want to write it all down to get it out of my head.
I'm 17 years old and built like a wet noodle, socially awkward, I suck at talking to girls, yada yada yada. My roommate is 30, but she looks 23, and I've had a crush (i don't really like that word 'crush' but i don't know what else to say) on her for months. I don't know her that well.
So yesterday was my graduation party, and I spent all day talking to friends, getting gifts, etc. At the end of the night, we'd just played an awesome game of Mafia and it was late, people were leaving, when my roommate calls me over to her and starts talking to me. She's looking me in the eyes, we're really close to each other, and it feels kind of crazy (i also haven't whacked off all day, so i was feeling it extra). She was talking about life, and it felt like she was looking into my soul.
Anyways, after she walks away, I'm cleaning up the party stuff around, and music is blaring through her room. I don't actually remember if curiosity got the better of me and I glanced in her window, or if I just happened to see by accident, but I saw her dancing topless. That was insane for me, I don't think I've ever even seen a girl topless before, I was already feeling a little fluttery, it's all just making my head spin.
At this point, I probably should've just jerked off and let it alone. But seeing her like that (she is *so* hot) combined with the talk we had earlier that day, I wasn't in my right mind I guess. I wanted to be with her so bad, and I knew that even if she rejected me, at least I'd know so I wouldn't spend the rest of my life wondering whether or not she would have said yes. So after everyone was gone and some time had passed, I knocked on her door with the intent to talk to her about it. I had some excuse for bothering her, I was gonna give her some things of hers that she had left out during the party. She opens the door and I give them to her, and she thanks me. I chicken out and don't say anything else, and start to walk away, and then *she calls me back*. I go back, and she says something about how we don't know each other that well, but we're sharing an intimate space, and I forget what else.
I tell her good night and walk away, but now I'm wrestling with myself. I've never even asked a girl on a proper date before, and yet I'm considering doing whatever the fuck this is. After working up the courage, I knock on her door again, this time with no excuses as to why I'm talking to her. She opens the door, and I basically tell her that I felt really intimate with her after our talks today, and she's beautiful, and if I didn't ask tonight it'd bother me for the rest of my life, and if she says no I'll leave and we never have to talk about it again, but that I want to sleep with her.
She handled it *really* well. She told me that she's older than me and I'm still a kid and that we can't sleep together, but that she liked the way that I asked and that I'm a good person and that what I'm feeling is real. We hugged, and she invited me in to watch Stranger Things, but I said no (they never should've dragged that out past the first season) and we told each other good night, and I went to my room and was asleep before too long.
I haven't seen her again since last night, and I've spent all day in disbelief at how fucking stupid I was. I 100% will never bother her about this again, I can take No for an answer just fine.
I mostly wrote this for myself, so that it's out written down and not just spinning around in my head. But I'm really not sure if I'm a complete freak or if I'm just a horny 17 year old with poor decision making skills.
TL;DR I saw my hot roommate dancing topless, asked for sex even though she's 30 and I'm 17, got rejected
edit: Just to clarify, it's not just me and her in the house. I live with my mom, and we have a roommate that lives in a little mini-house in the backyard.
EyeOughta: My favorite part is the subtle negative review of Stranger Things sprinkled in there.
OkVolume1: Literally could've been Netflix and Chill, but this guy has such lofty viewing expectations.
nanaki989: 100% was netflix and chill.
laberrabe: She literally told him, she will not have sex with him. If a grown woman says no, guess what, it usually means no. The invitation was probably just a way of showing him that they're still on good terms. She obviously didn't want to hurt him.
lainiwaku: because it kinda ankward, sex is not something you ask, it's something that happen, who know what would have happened if he stayed netflix and chill
Wino_Rhino: Are you a literal child? As a 32 y/o woman I am telling you right now that no means no and the majority of us definitely aren’t interested in the idea of statutory rape. Sorry to be rude about it, but this mentality has to stop. OP should be celebrated for being so sweet as to ask. He did not fuck up, he learned a valuable life lesson and everyone handled things well. 17 y/o boys are dumb and horny and women in our 30s know that. It was never ever ever Netflix and Chill. Believe people when they say what they mean.
I_AM_HIPPIES: To add on, as a 27 year old guy who spent my young teens through early 20s sleeping with women much older than me...
...Any chick that would have hooked up with this 17 year old kid, especially when he's been drinking, was probably not a good person for him. He's lucky to have such a good house mom.
hey--canyounot_: Women aren't mothers just by virtue of being women. She is a roommate, not a mother.
ChungusBrosYoutube: Being significantly older, protective and responsible definitely gives off parental vibes.
see-bees: OP’s literal mother lives there.
Bloodaegisx: Don’t give op any ideas now.
hey--canyounot_: ...take my fucking upvote, you sinner.
see-bees: And my axe
| 14 | 1,588.428571 | |
1654478154 | 1654479987 | t3_v5rd3w | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by screenshotting an inappropriate pic of my ex and my gf saw
[deleted]
Cari72688: There’s a couple things here that stand out. The first being, why is she going through your phone? I have been with my husband for 17 years and never once felt the urge to go through his phone, nor have I, and Vice versa. There’s nothing in my phone I wouldn’t want him to see but our phones are just that…ours. He may use it occasionally if his is dead, but I would feel betrayed and untrustworthy if he was going through it, we all deserve something that is just ours. The second though is, why are you wanting pictures of your ex? Are you not completely over her? In my experience, if you’re with someone who you’re all in for, no one else will interest you, especially ex’s. If I had seen an ex (and a recent screen shot at that) in my partners phone I would be extremely hurt. Her feelings are valid, however, she needs to also work on her insecurities herself. You having pics of your ex though, doesn’t help. My advice would be to take some time to think through your feelings and then have a calm, loving conversation with her whenever she comes back.
xmxakakak: Hi, thank you for replying. Yes, we shouldn’t go through each other’s phones but admittedly I have done the same to her before. I think the curiosity gets the better of us sometimes. I promise you we aren’t a toxic couple and we both agree that we don’t even mind as there’s nothing we are hiding from each other. Also, we both have pictures of our ex’s in our phones, we just keep it in the hidden holder. At the end of the day, those were important parts of our lives in the past and memories that we don’t want to completely forget. I don’t look at pictures of me and my ex together often, but occasionally I have a glance and then carry on with my life. We both know we have these and are okay with it. I hadn’t got anything to do with my being interested in my ex still; I just saw an opportunity to have more memories of us together and I took it. Like I said, in 20 years I might want to look back at those times the same as I would want to look back on any other memory. That’s my perspective anyway.
I agree, her feelings are valid and I was stupid. What do you think are some things I could do to help us get back on track? She said that she doesn’t know how she will be able to get over this situation/her insecurity. I’m honestly willing to do anything. Also for context we are 22&23
Cari72688: I understand how you feel about it, after you explained a bit more. I would just tell her exactly what you just said, that it’s a sentimental memory thing and not so much having to do with your ex but who you were as well when you were with her during that time in your life. Maybe both if you as a couple could print out your pictures and keep them somewhere in a box instead of at your fingertips? Do you know where she’s staying currently? Maybe waiting for her to come to you is not what’s best for her? Is she one that would want you to come after her and explain or does she truly value time away to think? Maybe just send her a quick text letting her know that you’re sorry and you’re ready to discuss and work on things when she’s ready? Lastly, you are still very young and her insecurities are not yours to bear, it’s not your responsibility to “fix her”. Only she can do that, however you can help by trying not to trigger her insecurities and if having pics of your ex in your phone are a trigger maybe do the box thing. I’m a bit confused as you said you’re both fine with it, clearly though, she’s not ok with it. You may need to revisit that conversation with her. You sound super reasonable and respectful, I’m sure things will work out for you!
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1654480899 | 1654495063 | t3_v5s67j | t5_2to41 | 9 | Big_Thonk_69: TIFU by losing my grandmas necklace that was given to me when she died
So i was drinking with friends since schools ended here and i come home the day after to feel that the silver cross necklace (that was given to my grandma in around 1950) was not around my neck anymore. I am so goddamn stressed about losing it that i have pretty much retraced my steps completely but not being able to find it.
It has so much sentimental value to me that i have been crying over it because its basically the only thing i have left of her but there is still a small amount of hope since it can still be at a friends house or another friends car but i have lost all hope already.
Also i dont have the heart to tell my mom about it since she was the one who gave it to me and it would break her heart probably more than mine now.
TL;DR got drunk lost my grandmas basically priceless necklace and feeling so fucking down after losing it that all i can do is basically cry
YonkoRex: U lost it drunk maybe you’ll find it drunk, cheers !
Big_Thonk_69: Yea i hope so
MadManMorbo: Where’d you lose it? What’s it look like?
Big_Thonk_69: Well the the area ive been looking for it is basically the west side of my city and its a silver cross that has carvings in it and the ends of the cross widen a little bit
MadManMorbo: 1. You have a Reddit Army at your disposal which is known for occasionally popping up and doing nice things for its membership.
2. If we know what it looks like we can scour websites it might pop up on - Do you have a picture of it?
3. If we know which city you're in... we can look for it!
4. We might be able to identify where it was made, and worst case scenario crowd-fund a replacement so you don't break your mom's heart.
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1654482602 | 1654532015 | t3_v5soew | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by not wearing a condom with a girl who I met on tinder.
[removed]
MuskyLion: Yeah. You are obligated to let her know you have an STI. It's assault if you do otherwise.
Cerbera_666: At one point says she has an STD he doesn't know about, and then says he has one himself?! 🤦
MuskyLion: I thought that was odd, too. I figure the dude needs to cover his bases and he needs to figure out which STD as well. He's not obligated to divulge that to us, but he needs to know for his safety and the safety of his partners. The whole situation really sucks, no?
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1654481221 | 1654503036 | t3_v5s9ns | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching my neighbors shoot fireworks
[deleted]
WalterWhiteBeans: Fuck it, light off your own fireworks this year
gotterfly: Throw a party, invite them over and tell them to bring the fireworks.
| 3 | 3 | |
1654483453 | 1654490625 | t3_v5sxcu | t5_2to41 | 141 | tacotackler00: TIFU by telling my bosses husband about her affair
[removed]
DJ__Hanzel: Break up that chunk of text.
I will not read this, and I want to.
TheGoodSquirt: Get off your high horse and just fucking read it
DJ__Hanzel: It's reddit - formatting matters.
They're 24; they should know how to format a post.
TheGoodSquirt: Your first two words says it all.
“It’s Reddit” so just read it and stop bitching. You either want to read it or don’t
DJ__Hanzel: I said what I said.
I will *not* read things formatted like this.
I will do as I damned well please, which doesn't include reading essentially a rant post.
TheGoodSquirt: Then don’t read it and get out of the thread.
Bye
| 7 | 20.142857 | |
1654485616 | 1654501237 | t3_v5tjdl | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by not checking the bedskirt
[deleted]
My_Cat_Louie: What hotel and where at????
Inuyasha-rules: Bed bugs are pretty common in hotels, and hard to get rid of. Luckily I've never had to deal with them first hand, but cheaper hotels seem to get them the worst, because cheap people tend to be "dirtier".
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1654488117 | 1654492159 | t3_v5u8gn | t5_2to41 | 68 | SixSeasons_AMovie: TIFU by being sexually confused, coming out and then realising that I am in fact straight.
So this happened a while back.
When I was young and in my teens, I was constantly bullied, called "gay" as a derogatory term along with way worse comments for not really being a manly man. I like ABBA, Musicals etc. and got made fun of a lot over it and when you get called something daily for almost a decade you do start to wonder, what if.
Keeping "what if" in mind, I remember watching some TV show and thinking well that actor is pretty good looking and that made me question it all the more so I came to reddit on an alt and asked if you could be bisexual but heavily prefer women. After a couple days, they all said yes so I just assumed I must be bi since I found this one guy attractive and came out to most of my friends. I started looking up porn and I just thought, yeah that ain't happening to me so I went back and browsed more on reddit and there's whole sections about not liking anal so that makes me more confused. Once again, I started looking more into it all and yeah, that just isn't me.
I like my own dick, not anyone else's. Tits and pussies on the other hand yes so I busted one out and that felt right for me. I haven't told the people I came out to that I was confused and thought I was but I'm straight. It's just going to be an awkward conversation. So...yeah, I fucked up badly.
TLDR; I came out while being confused about my own sexuality just to realise that I am straight and haven't told the people who I came out to that yet.
GeneralSquatch: It happens! I can relate pretty close, I have made out with other guys, I've been in a few threesomes. I can tell you, that I'm strongly attracted to women, I can just appreciate a good looking dude. Sometimes you ain't gay, bi, or just straight. Sexuality is this weird thing like a personality. It can be as generic as white bread, and sometimes it's flavorful like a banana bread. 🤷
My_Cat_Louie: I appreciate your metaphor.
XDILLONJ: Agree
| 4 | 17 | |
1654488897 | 1654519270 | t3_v5ufzf | t5_2to41 | 25 | Complete-Cat2145: TIFU by giving my dog multiple pieces of my porkchop thinking i was slick for getting out of dinner
So today, at dinner, my parents were outside talking like they usually do and i was sitting in my living room with my dog, Jed, (a golden retriever German shepherd mix) and tonight i didnt feel like eating my moms overcooked, unseasoned porkchops, so i gave some pieces to my dog. Yes i know its a very shitty thing to do since my mom cooked it and went through trouble cooking, but i just dont like to eat anymore in general. Mainly bc of my dad talking about my weight, but thats not the point. The point is i gave it to my dog and then lied to my mom saying that one piece fell on the ground and Jed got it before i did and she said "DO NOT feed him pork he will get worms" after i fed him at least four or five pieces of it.
Im now sitting in my room, at 11:06 pm, typing this post as i lay in crippling stress and guilt bc my mom and dad will have to pay vet bills ontop of getting out of credit card debt just to make the worms stop for him. I cant believe i fed my dog somthing that could hurt him. I dont think i will ever tell my parents what actually happened, which makes the whole thing worse.
Edit: thank you to everyone who replied! You guys are very helpfull and made me feel better about the situation. Ill make sure to not make it a habit! Thank you all <3
TL : DR
MrMailSorter: It's fine as long as it's not undercooked which can be dangerous to dogs and humans....
JoeT17854: Lucky OP, they specifically stated it was overcooked
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1654490657 | 1654564709 | t3_v5uwit | t5_2to41 | 28 | CaffeinatedHBIC: TIFU by *not* Crepe-Murdering my Crepe Myrtle
This FU is 6 years in the making, but I only really came to realize how serious this was yesterday.
When my husband and I bought our home in 2016, it came with a few rose bushes, shrubs, and small trees in the front yard. Notably, smack dab in front of the porch, was this ugly stunted Crepe Myrtle that was being entirely shaded out by an oak and hacked to bits by its well-intended owner every spring. For those unaware, the practice is jokingly called Crepe-Murder as a play on Crepe Myrtle. I wasn't originally a fan of the little thing- the branches hung into the porch, causing leaf litter to molder on the edge and bugs to buzz around the porch light.
I've got something of a green thumb, so over the course of the last 6 years I have annoyingly and painstakingly pruned this tree so that it bends away from the shade of the porch without the branches catching on the porch roof. It started out with 3 runty stunted trunks that had been lazily sawed off at bad angles in the past; by spring last year, each trunk was as big around as a 2-liter soda bottle.
I've genuinely grown emotionally invested in this tree because I garden when I'm stressed, so I spent a lot of time pruning and tending it over the past few years as I've lost like a half dozen family members. Usually Crepe myrtles are kept too small for the beautiful red color of the trunk to be noticeable, and the branches now reach well above the roof, causing little white flowers to rain from the sky during strong breezes. Several robins and a mockingbird have nested there in the last few years, and it's a favorite for bees.
Unfortunately, like Icarus, my tree grew too close to the sun - and my porch. When I raked out a year of leaf litter and mulch from under the crepe myrtle this week, I noticed that the roots have grown above ground level now, which makes sense since the tree is 3 or 4 times the size it was when I bought the house. Those roots have started jumbling the brick facade of my porch.
In my love for this tree, I let it grow so large that now I have no choice left but to kill it before it does permanent damage to the foundation of the house. It's obvious, in retrospect, that the patch of ground it's situated in isn't large enough to support a 40ft tall tree. The damage isn't dire just yet, but by the end of the summer, the tree will have to come down.
I've decided to cut the tree down as carefully as I can so I can dry some of the long straight branches to use as walking sticks, and I may try to propagate a new crepe myrtle from a cane somewhere more suited to it. Nevertheless, I'll be sad to see it go.
TL:DR: I let my favorite tree get too big and now I have to cut it down before it ruins my house.
MuskyLion: Do you have an area you can safely plant a new one?
CaffeinatedHBIC: Yes, out back I have space. The tricky part is getting it to full size without the deer stripping it bare.
MuskyLion: Fox pee-based deer repellent and dog hair (if you own one) will help with that. Fox pee is awful, but works well. I had to do that with a butternut I planted a decade ago for the same reason. It's now 25-30 feet high, up from about 2 feet originally.
CaffeinatedHBIC: Maybe it's because [she's fluffy](https://imgur.com/a/DcDy6cS) and gets bathed regularly, but her fur doesn't serve much for a deterrent. I've seen it in rabbit dens, bird nests and more but hopefully as long as I plant it in range of my motion detection lights they'll leave it be. They've been a game changer for deterring pests.
MuskyLion: There's always the liquid deer repellent if all else fails. 😁
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1654488932 | 1654496290 | t3_v5ugbo | t5_2to41 | 5 | TifuTattooThrowaway: TIFU by Rickrolling myself
The fuck up happened yesterday, when I had a night out with my friends. It's been almost a half a year since I've had a real night out due to having a child (her name is Vera!) and supporting my wife, who had to briefly undergo chemo for breast cancer. But yesterday night was going to be the night I could finally get out.
We decided to go to a restaurant, which was great except that they are famous for their wine. I reasoned that it would be fine to get a bit drunk; as someone who doesn't have much experience in drinking, I had heard something about sipping water to help you sober so I thought that if you drank lots of water after getting drunk you could sober up. I don't know if that's true or not because I don't remember what happened after I got drunk. All I know is what happened in the morning.
When I woke up I had a monster headache. I was googling how to get rid of a hangover when I got a text from my buddy asking me about the QR code on his hand. He said he was too afraid to scan it.
I laughed at his misfortune and texted him to look into tattoo removal services. Then I drank some water and went back to sleep.
When I woke up it was almost noon and my wife was mad at me. I made myself some breakfast and sat down at the table where she was having lunch. She looked up at me, mouth opening as if she was about to give a cutting remark, and then stopped, eyes widening in horror.
"What is that?" she pointed at my neck. I ran to the bathroom mirror, and... you guessed it. A QR code.
I thought that it might be porn, which was a horrifying possibility, so I grabbed my phone and scanned it.
*We're no strangers to loooovvve...*
Anyways, if anyone knows any good tattoo removal services in northeast Ohio, I would appreciate it very much. I'm going to get some weird looks going in to work wearing either a scarf or an oversized turtle neck shirt (I haven't decided which one yet.)
Tl;dr got drunk, got a QR code tattoo. It was a rickroll.
MadRollinS: Concealer and foundation and a finishing powder to cover it. YouTube videos are probably out there with demos on how to cover that with make up.
TifuTattooThrowaway: Thank you for the idea! My wife's helping me cover it up with her makeup until I can get a tattoo removal.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1654491861 | 1654544084 | t3_v5v7nw | t5_2to41 | 8 | Reasonable-Site4547: TIFU by making my dad cry
I was reading fiction on the living room couch until my dad is walking towards me with an upset or annoyed gaze. He lets out a huge sigh, shakes his head and touches his face while sitting to the far left of the couch. I minded my own business while he sat watching tv when suddenly he starts asking about the taxes I haven't filed and renewing the expired passport.
His outburst is not unusual, but he goes on about if it were him he would be working on his priorities and not prolonging them. That I was wasting my time, I should be working more and using the time wisely etc. I respond with an "ok" and continue reading until he says its my fault for the way my life was. I am currently 22 years old, with no job or progress in a career and my father resents me for this fact. I explain calmly he's right, but he continues about my childhood and my inability to grow up.
I LOSE IT. I tell him to stop talking but he doesn't and an even bigger argument ensues until I raised a fist to his face. He's speechless at this, and then I slap him and ask him if he remembers about beating me when I was young, whether if he got some enjoyment because from the pain he inflicted instead of love or care. For the neglect he left my mother and I punched him even harder than the last and said he better shut his fucking mouth from now onwards otherwise I'll hurt him even worse. Then he started to cry silently and I watched in horror what I have reduced myself too.
I immediately ran up stairs and tried to not think about it. I skipped dinner and my father hasn't told anyone this even though its been 4 days. Me and my father have been ignoring each other now, I'm afraid I got what I wanted.
tldr: Punched my father into crying
LegendOmegaX: Well, what's honestly keeping you from getting a job? If you've got that much of an issue with him then it makes sense to move out and have a life of your own.
mancer187: The free roof and food his dad is paying for.
Reasonable-Site4547: It's my older brother who is paying for the free roof and food.......
Keep your prejudice out of this situation. Clearly have no idea the full understanding of the situation .
mancer187: Maybe include that tidbit when you tell this story again. We can't know anything you didn't put in the post.
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1654494434 | 1654531145 | t3_v5vu5o | t5_2to41 | 423 | Roscoe_P_Trolltrain: TIFU by having the radiant ceiling heat on max for 6 years.
I always just assumed the thermostats didn't work. It's an older building and I thought they weren't hooked up. I want to say that our building inspector told us they weren't connected when we were buying the place, but I don't know.
I recently wanted to take the control box off the wall to make room for a cat shelf, so I asked someone else in our building if he removed his thermostats. He said the radiant heating likely worked, so I looked at our thermostats and saw our kitchen's thermostat was as high as it could go, set to 85. No wonder the kitchen was always hot. I got a stepladder and felt the ceiling and yah it was definitely nice and warm.
I guess I'm glad the electricity bill will be going down.
&#x200B;
And glad I didn't burn the place down.
&#x200B;
TLDR: Left the ceiling heat on for 6 years.
nphased: Wait, I’ve heard of a radiant heated floor, but never a ceiling. What good is that?
ReallyGene: While 'heat rises', radiant ceiling heat produces infrared, so it's like standing under a heat lamp, but much less intense. Because you feel warm, you can often keep it set to a lower temperature.
grumpher05: You would see if it was turned on if it was a heat lamp no?
curxxx: Well, no, because it’s IR.
grumpher05: No IR heater I've seen was perfect IR emmisions, it always had some red light emissions aswell
Megalon84: On purpose. So you can tell it's on. IR is invisible to the human eye....
msnmck: TIL
| 8 | 52.875 | |
1654495982 | 1654542919 | t3_v5w7zr | t5_2to41 | 21 | Linkyland: TIFU by telling my manager I was worried about my co-worker
I have been working from home for the last 6 months but we are due to go back into the office 2 days a week from this week.
The people I work with are all over the country but there are 2 in my state. One of them, a woman in her 30s I'll call Nancy is HARD WORK.
I'm very introverted. Working from home has been incredible for me and the thought of going back in to work with Nancy is honestly unpleasant.
Nancy is a pessimist. She is also extremely extroverted and is rhe first person I've ever met who monologues so perfectly that you have to literally interrupt her to tell her you need to go.
I've had some health problems in the past few months which has left my mental health a little more fragile than normal.
But Nancy is narcissistic. She only talks about herself, her problems, all if the things going wrong in her life.
She recently broke up with a partner she's had for her whole life, her cat died etc. She was in a BAD state. She would come into virtual meetings and tell everyone on the call how she was doing. She would hijack the conversation for 20 mins and tell everyone about how her partner betrayed her.
But. She just started seeing this new guy. Not even a month has gone by and they've broken up. She has gone back to being completely self centred. She is telling me how she's crying at work and has been coming in to the office because it's not 'safe' for her to be alone.
I told her about someone she could contact for help and she immediately logged off. I panicked and called my boss. I told her about what had been happening. I said 'she told me she cried in bed all day Saturday! I'm really worried.'
And my boss said. 'I know you don't want to go back into the office but you're just going to have to learn how to set boundaries. I was in bed all day Saturday too. I read a book.'
As soon as she said that I wished I hadn't called. I felt like a fool, like I had overreacted. She DID NOT care. I spent the next few nights just trying to convince her that no. I was just worried because of how Nancy was talking. I was sorry for calling. I would keep listening to her and support her and somehow also do my own work.
Tbh. Even when she's in a good mood, Nancy is absolutely exhausting. When she's like this I don't know what to do.
I'm wondering if I have fucked everything up beyond compare and need to fins somewhere else to work. I can't be a counsellor for this person. I've got enough shit of my own.
Tldr; tifu by telling my boss I was worried about my mentally ill co-worker and she turned it around on me.
Sir_Distic: Wow. Your boss is enabling this self-centered narcissist. You don't have to listen to her stories or her drama. She does it for attention. Don't give it to her. You're not a bad person for putting your mental health first.
Tell her "I like you, you're a good person but it's very exhausting listening to your issues. I have my own to deal with so from now on please exclude me from your personal life and let's just keep it professional."
When she cries to your boss, tell your boss "I explained to her that her issues were affecting my work and it was unprofessional." and if your boss makes an issue with it then you know your boss will never be unbiased or on your side.
Linkyland: Thank you, it's worth a try. I don't really know how to set boundaries on this.
If someone is right in front of you having a breakdown you can't really go 'I've got work to do...' or can I?
I don't know. I feel like I've got no idea what I'm meant to do to make this a win
Sir_Distic: You absolutely can. "That's sad but unfortunately I have to get back to work. Best of luck to you." Soon she'll learn that she can't vent to you and will find someone else to vent to. And you are being professional so you can't get in trouble.
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1654505375 | 1654589528 | t3_v5yckd | t5_2to41 | 5,142 | Organic_Bend6875: TIFU by leaving my toddler in the car in an airport parking lot
My wife and I are both thankful that it ended better than it could've, and that we can laugh about it now.
We've been saving for years to go vacation to Ireland. Finally, we had enough money, and cue the panic. My wife is the only one among the family who had ever been on a plane before, but we were all panicking as we got ready. We woke up at 3AM, got to the airport by 5AM, everybody was tired.
The 10yr old and 7yr old were groggy but awake and my wife wanted to wait as long as possible before waking our 2yr old up, and he would surely wake up as soon as we got him out of his carseat, so we held off on that. But we held off on it for so long that we, in our haste, forget he was still in the car.
We started heading to the airport, and we made it about halfway before I acknowledged the stroller that I had folded and was holding. I looked at the older kids, thought huh, they're a little too old for a stroller, and then it hit me.
The baby.
It takes about 1.5 seconds for my wife to realize why I was running back to the car. Thankfully, it wasn't too cold and the kid was still asleep but, fuck, we still feel like shitty parents. It could've ended so much worse than it did, for which my wife and I are both grateful that it didn't.
TL;DR - accidentally left toddler in car, realized it just in time.
striptofaner: As a parent i aknoweledge that this can happen. Especially if your tired and in a hurry. In Italy we have mandatory alarms mounted on the baby carseat that send an alarm to your phone if you go away from the car with the toddler still in it.
TigLyon: This is a brilliant idea and yet I have never heard of it. Granted, nowadays the only time I could leave one of my "babies" in the car is when they drop me off after meeting for lunch.
It is sad that this should be a thing, but awesome that we have the technology to develop it.
striptofaner: We have a lot of problems in Italy, but there are many nice things like this one. Though the cases of child death fue to abandon in the car were quite low they made prevention compulsory nonetheless
TigLyon: > We have a lot of problems in Italy
US dude here, I'm with ya buddy. :) (non-gender-assuming use of "buddy")
The cases of it happening are low, percentage-wise. But the higher the population, the more that low percentage turns into a higher absolute number. And no matter how low the risk, the consequence is too high. Things like this should always be important. This is what actual "pro-life" should look like. lol
striptofaner: Mate i feel you, news from US that comes through the atlantic doesn't look too good on the prevention of child deaths (from any source). From what we can see from here it looks like they care about babies until they are out of their mother womb, then it's on their own. Poor public education, poor healthcare system, gun control etc. Maybe what we see is kinda distorted, i don't know.
crack_n_tea: Speaking as someone who lives in the US it’s sad but true. But hey at least I’m coming to Italy for vacation
striptofaner: That's great, enjoy your time here, it's a lovely country to visit!
crack_n_tea: Thank you, I’m definitely very excited 😆 Rome will be my first stop, though I’m looking for smaller cities to visit for a more authentic feel for the country
striptofaner: Rome is magnificient, you could spend weeks visiting it end never get tired! But it has a lot of tourists too. If i may give you an advice, visit this site: https://borghipiubelliditalia.it/en/lazio/ here you can find the most beautiful small towns (borghi in italian). Those are places where we go visiting too. You can also find places to eat that are much less touristic than in rome!
I live in the north, near Venice, so i don't know those places too well, but if you want some general advice feel free to ask!
crack_n_tea: That's awesome, I'll definitely check out the site. Venice is on my must visit list too, I'm more excited to ride a train again than anything else
| 11 | 467.454545 | |
1654511359 | 1654527486 | t3_v5zwbo | t5_2to41 | 7 | Padi303: TIFU by watching Stranger Things with my gf
I'm living together with my gf of one year. I am 28 and she is 27 (because i think this might be relevant later).
She already told me a while ago that she can't watch horror movies with psycho elements because she's scared and doesn't sleep well after watching these. So i thought yeah kk, seems legit. Some people just can not watch these stuff. This topic didn't come to the table since then.
So the fu starts as we were a little bit hungover from partying with friends the night before, and she wants me to choose something to stream. As you might know, there are new episodes of Stranger Things on Netflix, so i think hmm she never saw it, maybe we watch this show together from the start. I've already seen the previous seasons but i obv want her to get the context etc. Well we start watching the first episode of season 1..
It begins with the scientist in the lab, who gets chased by a monster. She already says 'is this some horror shit?'
I reply 'hmm well i think just in the beginning a little bit.' And i swear i just forget there are more less horror elements in this show, just because these type of scenes just don't tickle me. So i tell her 'no no it's alright.'
So she starts to like it through episode 2.
Then came episode 3. Sensing she is a little bit scared in darker scenes, i prepare her before barb get's abducted. Alright. Then there is this scene where Will tries to comminicate with his mum through the lights and suddenly bursts a little to the wall besides her. At this point my gf looses herself and bursts out 'Turn that shit off! I'm not watching this crap with you!' I just burst out laughing because i couldn't get how someone get's so tingled by a TV Show. I then get that she is serious and just doesn't want to watch this show. So i get a little bit disappointed because i really like this show man. I also made fun of her and sayin things like 'you might just wanna change your pants'
She bursts out of the room, and shuts the bedroom door.
I think well ok.. and get out to smoke a cigarette. Through that i think to myself this is hillariously childish. So i go to talk to her. This whole thing becomes an argument and i tell her we are not teens anymore, it's just a TV Show. She just groundbreaking disappointed i don't take her seriously..
So since yesterday evening it's just a strange atmosphere between us. I obv appologized, but still can't take it this seriously. I mean it's a TV show, we are nearly 30.
TL;DR: I watched Stranger Things with my gf and it became a massive argument over not taking her fears seriously
SalleighG: You do not get to choose what is important to other people. You do get to choose whether you are going to respect someone else's boundaries... and they get to choose whether are willing to continue the relationship.
I used to work for an organization that had a medical focus. I worked on the computers, where everything was very abstract, just _data_. I was rarely bothered. But every few years, one of my coworkers or a collaborator would throw up a video of a heart or transplant operation... and I would have to leave the room. *You* would be inclined to laugh and disrespect that "it's just video". But *I* had to accompany my father to the hospital for his examinations and cancer treatments and was shown the x-rays and scars, when I was barely a teenager. I have reasons for my trauma.
Your girlfriend has reasons for her reactions. Perhaps her reactions to such material will change in time, maybe less, maybe more. The kind of boyfriend worth keeping around respects her reactions and boundaries. The kind of boyfriend that cannot say "Hey, that isn't how I myself react, but her feelings are genuine and valid for her" is the kind of boyfriend who oughta get out of the relationship and go to therapy to learn treat people.
Padi303: This really helped me in getting a different view on this. Tank you!
SalleighG: It would *not* be unreasonable with regards to feelings such as she had, to say, "I notice that you are quite affected by that sort of content; is that something that you just want to live with, or can I support you in some way towards reducing your reaction?" Lots of people go about their lives just not watching much of that kind of content, and it often makes no more life difference than (for example) avoiding bagpipe music for whatever reason.
Avoiding horror / supernatural only individually starts to become a problem if the person decides to become something like a crime scene investigator; it can be a challenge in a relationship in which such material is important to the partner (fascination, medical job, author of books, researcher in some topics...)
But if someone *wants* to change a sensitivity, then there are approaches available. Therapy to see if there are historical reasons for the reaction. Desensitization therapy. Desensitization workbooks. Or sometimes "change of focus" -- for example becoming a medical specialist... or studying filmmaking techniques and spending too much time critiquing shots to be much affected by the "horror". ("Ah, geez, you can see the wire, it's right there in plain sight, how do people not see it! God, that's supposed to be dog blood? Dog blood isn't that color, the cretins!")
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1654516728 | 1654532481 | t3_v61ukj | t5_2to41 | 14 | Tomato_Shelf: TIFU by sleeping
My mom ordered food and it was already paid and she told me to get it once the delivery came. I have just gotten back from school and I'm very sleepy because I was up last night doing homework. I tried to stay awake but I just couldn't so I just took a quick nap. But when I woke up it was night time and I realized I didn't take a nap, I slept. When I looked outside the food wasn't there yet so I thought the delivery guy must've been late. But my mom called me by phone and she said the neighbors cats ate them. When she went home she scolded me and got mad at me but I asked her if we can get a refund since the delivery guy didn't bother calling her and just left it at the floor even tho there's a freaking shelf next to the door where past delivery guys have put the food there when no one was there to pick it up. But she said no we cant refund it and now im sad and I feel bad for wasting 25 dollars. I wish 25 dollars would just fall from the sky so I could give it to my mom :(
TL;DR. TIFU because I was sleeping but delivery came and the neighbor's cats ate it
Jimrodthadestroyer: What did your mum order?
Tomato_Shelf: Macdonalds
Jimrodthadestroyer: And a cat ate it? Riiiiiiiight…..
Tomato_Shelf: oh they were a group of cats. I dont really know how many cats my neighbor has but I think it's 4.
Jimrodthadestroyer: Buns and fries too?
Tomato_Shelf: I dont really know but all my mom said was the cats ate the macdonalds food
thisliterallysucks: sounds like your neighbors might have stolen it👀
| 8 | 1.75 | |
1654515260 | 1654520450 | t3_v61evc | t5_2to41 | 158 | [deleted]: TIFU by not checking the bedskirt
[deleted]
SockpuppetPseudonym2: Unrelated to bug infestations but a bedskirt is called a ‘valance’. You are now required to use this word in at least two separate conversations today.
mckoul: I thought a valance was the top mini curtain that goes over the big curtain?
Edit: just googled and it means a curtain also specifically in North America
SockpuppetPseudonym2: We’d call that a ‘pelmet’ in the UK. (I mean, we’d mostly call it a ‘that weird little curtain that goes on top of curtains’ and usually only your gran would have one).
| 4 | 39.5 | |
1654518455 | 1654520024 | t3_v62dk6 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by wearing speedo's to the beach
[removed]
AccurateInterview586: It’s not possible to get a boner in Speedos, is it? Don’t they cut off the blood supply??!?? LOL
rheynotryan: bald
| 3 | 1 | |
1654519612 | 1654521903 | t3_v62qgi | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting drunk and lying
[deleted]
Mr_Biro: Aaand why did you post a story if you were not supposed to be there in the first place xD
VintageOG: The sub is todayifuckedup.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1654525126 | 1654532438 | t3_v64lb0 | t5_2to41 | 717 | [deleted]: TIFU by just noticing that I'm a horrible person with zero to no empathy for others.
[removed]
Deep-Tax6509: This seems more like a confession than a fuck up
McJock: r/IATA
Sad-Ad-6147: OP already knows that they are one.
__Jaume: That's why McJock used r/IATA and not r/AITA
Sad-Ad-6147: I just saw the difference!
millia00: Still they are all outdated, not many posts.
Was so excited to follow both for a moment lol
| 7 | 102.428571 | |
1654526105 | 1654526642 | t3_v64y3n | t5_2to41 | 13 | Ash---: TIFU by threatening to hit my partner.
Okay so it didn't happen today it happened last week but it's been living rent free in my head. My partner and I visited a sweet shop as we were heading home from a walk around town because he's a type 1 diabetic and he needed a little sugar and I wanted to treat him to some chocolate bananas (and myself to something I like and my housemate to some liquorice). He loves chocolate bananas.
So we rock up, buy the stuff. He's so pleased he found mini chocolate bananas in a bag as well as a box he wanted to open them right there and then when we walk out of the shop. So I say "gimme them bags!" So that he can have both hands. He says "nahh!" And continues to fumble. We're both being pretty playful so I keep insisting a few times being kinda pushy and people have noticed. So (totally normal for our relationship) I go to threaten him "GIMME THOSE BAGS RIGHT NOW OR I'LL HIT YOU--" and then BANG one of those massive deafening exploding ringing sounds you get randomly and it completely derails me. What I was going to say was "gimme those bags right now or I'll hit you with these bananas" and brandish the box of chocolate bananas I was holding and then laugh maniacally and maybe tap him with them playfully.
But it's too late... everyone is staring at me, I'm desperately trying to keep my balance through a nasty tinnitus attack, my diabetic partner is scrambling with the bag and low blood sugar so he's completely oblivious to my ear thing and to the horrified onlookers who think I'm about to abuse my partner and are standing there as though they're ready to jump me the second I make a move. So through the ear pain and loud ringing I make a half hearted "HYEEEH!" noise and comically slowly swing the box of bananas at his chest and gently tippy tap him just in some kind of misguided attempt to relieve the fears of the onlookers and then say "come on sweetie lets get you home and get your sandwich" and scurry away as fast as I can.
He's still completely oblivious and was having a great day out and I cannot stop going back to it in my head 🥲
TLDR; I tried to joke around about hitting my partner with some bananas in public and my own body beyrayed me so the general public thought I was just going to Sean Connery him in the street
kastex1: Hate to say this but those people might think your an AH, but your story lines up so Reddit doesn't think that.
Ash---: Tbh, that was in the back of my head so bad with that trial going on 😰
kastex1: Just ignore what happened, it's a contextual joke, and aslong as you're not hurting anyone you're fine in my books.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1654526479 | 1654527895 | t3_v652zi | t5_2to41 | 22 | PeePeeTIFU: TIFU I (42m) tried to visit a girl (28f) before a Saturday Shift.
[removed]
Ultimatelee: I mean her neighbour sounds like a legend to me. If I saw a random guy climbing up a tree into a fellow neighbours window, especially a womans window, I’d be freaking out too.
midnighttoker98: No shit. I'd have pointed my gun at them with the laser dot and really gave them a reality check.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1654529502 | 1654547049 | t3_v666qy | t5_2to41 | 108 | Entire-Mixture1093: TIFU by cleaning my house (updates coming soon)
DISCLAIMER: English is not my first languageOTHER DISCLAIMER: throwaway account for obvious reasonsLAST DISCLAIMER: for legal reasons, if need be, this is a fictional story.UNRELATED COMMENT TO THE PREVIOUS LINE: I wish it were.
WHY DID I WRITE THIS: I need someone to talk to and wonder what you, strangers on the internet, think of it and maybe have suggestions on how I could handle the situation.
I (24m) happened to check my gfs (23f) pc whilst cleaning one of our rooms.
Today was an holiday and I chose to do some cleaning in our house whilst I stumbled across my gfs computer. At first I didn't have anything special in mind but my curiosity and jealousy got the better of me and I checked her Instagram and Messenger.
I checked 2 DMs specifically: her step-nephew, who she had slept with "once" (probably more) before we got together and this one guy she had met on Tinder before us but had never slept with. When checking the DMs of her step-nephew I didn't find anything special, not even when using keywords, but then I started looking through her DMs with this other guy and I came across the following messages:
gf: \*comments on story\* wow what a workout at the gymdude: yeah, pretty heavygf: you should work out with me instead ;)dude: yeah, train my hip thrustsgf: hmm :\*
Now, this might be flirty on first sight, not neccessarily proof that she had cheated one me, but enough for me to be enraged and keep on looking through the rest of the DMs.
I noticed that the DMs between and her were very limited which is quite surprising because they used to talk all the time and I can't imagine this was the only online conversation they had. For a fact, I know it isn't.
So immediatily I get to believe even more that she had cheated on me.
I wanted to be smart with my next searches and searched by keyword "sex", "cheating", "fun", etc. and after my first search I found a conversation with another dude, someone she took class with (and has the same last name, but not direct family).
I came across the following conversation:
gf and dude previous conversation: something about classesgf: last night you weren't talking about classes as much as heredude: haha no I wasn'tgf: I had fun last night, I don't normally do that kind of stuffdude: a one night stand?gf: yeah haha I've had sex beforedude: yeah haha, was my first time as wellgf and dude: some more bla bla about how they will take this experience into their next one night stand and might repeat it some daydude: don't you have a bf thoughgf: yeah and I hope he will remain my bf hahagf: we will take this secret to our gravedude: alright haha
Now this was pretty obvious proof for me and I went in shock mode. I did some more searches but didn't bother to find more since I already had enough proof. I called my best friend, the person I trust most in this world and I knew he would have my back, to come over and said that something fucked up had happened. He was still sleeping so would be slightly later. Right afterwards I called my mom to come over and waited for both of them to arrive. The whole time I was just walking through the house, drinking water because my mouth felt dry for some weird in shock reason and kept on stressing about what to do.
My first friend happend to arrive first and I explained what happened and showed him the DMs. On first sight he was a bit too optimistic of the DMs and claimed that it could have been from the past and wasn't necesarrily proof of my gf cheating. I challenged this fact by the line "yeah and I hope he will remain my bf haha" that my gf used in one of the DMs. That he couldn't deny was very odd.
My mom arrived slightly later and I showed her the DMs as well and she immediatily was conviced that she was cheating on me.
We immediatly start talking about solutions, since I am very solution-focused and I was too much in shock and pissed off to be crying and just wanted solutions for our house and cat that we own both in half.
I suggested that maybe my parents or a friend of mine could by her share so that I don't need to lose the house and could still live a normal life. However, it probably won't be that simple and I fucking hate the fact that my gf cheating on me causes me to be in this situation.
I suggested I would take the money, that is still owed to me, from our shared account. (She lent some money of me for purchases we made for our shared home since she is too stupid to manage priorities.) As well as make a list of all our shared properties so we could divide this later and take copies of all the official papers of the house.
I made all the transactions that still needed to be done and about 1.5 hours later I got a phonecall from my gf to ask me why the money on the shared account dropped so much (5k to 2k) and I said that I wanted to have a better oversight of the money that still needed to be paid to me and that I would add the money, that was needed for some workings on the house and that I would partially lend her, to the shared account later today. (Which obviously I won't). Now this calmed her enough to not be more suspicious about it. I haven't told her about the DMs I found since I want to confront her in person later today (in about 2h after this post).
After the money transfers, I did some calculations on how much it would cost me to buy our cat and checked if there were still more transactions. Haven't checked all of them yet, so this is most likely what I will keep on doing tonight. No time to grief since it won't help me and as long as she doesn't know we have broken up, I want to do everything about keeping the advantege. I am aware that I am a male so will most likely be disadvanteged if the court would come to be involved.
**Some other related information and past events**
This is probably the worst day of my life but I will do everything to not let it fuck up the rest of my life. I am still young and could still have a meaningful relationship with a next partner. Although I don't know whether I'd want that and whether I'd be able to still trust someone else.
\-----------------------
She has been cheated on in her previous relationship and could not understand someone could do that.
\-----------------------
Her mom cheated on her father because she was "unhappy" in the relationship causing the father to act abusive and the parents to split. Her father started drinking after this and kept on acting abusive in all the relationships he got after.
She recently, and with reason, cut ties with her father and tried to get a restraining order for, with reason, stalking.
\-----------------------
I just thought of the following whilst writing this:
We had conversations about cheating before and said that she understand people could do that if they were unhappy in their relationship and if it were only for the sex.
I commented that that is not a good enough reason to go cheat and if she would ever think of cheating on me then I'd prefer that she would immediatly break up with me because I think I wouldn't surivive getting cheat on. (According by the dates of her DMs, she had cheat on me before this conversation.)
\-----------------------
If we split now (before living together 5 years), we have to pay 50k extra in VAT since we had lowered VAT for our first house. Which neither of us could afford.
\-----------------------
About a year ago, in lockdown, she had somewhat of a breakdown saying that she was unhappy in our relationship and wanted to do more fun stuff (city trips, meeting up with friends, etc.) and she had the feeling that I wasn't doing enough effort to do this.
I was super surprised and said that I would try to do that but that in the previous months we couldn't do anything because of quarantaine, lack of money and her working long days. I didn't blame her for working long days but I said that you can't have both excitement all the time and work 12 hour days and come home tired.
\-----------------------
Our sex life had its ups and downs but honestly sex-wise this has probably been my worst relationship. She is hard to get in the mood, because she is always tired because of working long days etc. so we didn't have that much sex.
\-----------------------
I suspected her cheating on me but I always thought I was just too jealous and kept searching reasons behind everything she did.
\-----------------------
The gym dude has a gf as well. I tried looking for her name so I could inform her about her bf cheating, after I confront my gf.
**Ending**
I am heartbroken and somewhat feel like driving off a bridge, but at the same time I am happy I found out now before we had kids or married.
I will confront her when she comes home. I have made somewhat a list of questions of everything I want to know and I will record (by speaker) because I fear she might claim I hit or assaulted her. I don't think she would do that, but doesn't hurt to be safe.
AMA (unless it gives away any identities) and please give me tips on how to survive whilst heartbroken, dealing with self-blaming and self hate and what I could do legally, if anything.
**Updates**
**Update 1**: on the way home she stopped to get some gas and broke the opening to the gas. She isn't aware yet.
**Update 2**: my gf came home and noticed that I was sad so she asked me what was up. I asked her to sit down and we talked for over an hour. I asked her if she was happy with the relationship and whether she was happy living in the house we have. She told me twice that she was.
Afterwards I asked her if she had cheated on me and she replied with "I think you know the answer to that". I asked with who and she said the dude from the gym's name. Apparently it had happened twice. The first time being right after we signed the contract for our house... The second time somewhere inbetween then and now (period of about 6 to 8 months).
We had a lot of unmeaning conversation on what we should do, how I could possibly forgive and trust her and she couldn't give a clear reason.
We also ended up talking about kids, we have done this quite a few times. She mentioned that she still wasn't sure whether she wanted kids or not but felt pressured by me because I knew for sure that I wanted kids.
She begged me a few times to forgive her and to touch me. I didn't allow her to touch me because I think I still love her too much that I would impact my judgement.
She suggested a few times that she would sleep at home. I told her that I didn't know whether I wanted that or not but in the end I aggreed that it may be best. Besides, her parents don't even have a spare bed anymore so I said that she couldn't even go sleep there. She said that it's her problem.
In the end she grabbed some clothes, gave me a brief look before leaving the house and went to her parents.
Throughout this full hour, that felt like the longest time, she was on and off crying. She looked sincere but at the same time mentioned that she fell in love with the gym guy (whilst still loving me) and that is why she cheated on me...
I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to do. Every logical reason is telling me to leave her. The only reason I would stay is for the house and because I still love her although I really shouldn't.
Right after she left I called my mom and broke the news to her. She said there was no valid reason why she cheated on me but that I need to make my own decisions. I still don't know what I will do. I will take some time to reconsider everything...
**Update 3**: Spoke it over with my best friend. Although he normally is the forgiving kind, he really said I shouldn't forgive her because I will never have the certainty that she won't do it again. Nor will I be sure that I could ever trust her again.
I have dark thoughts but I don't and can't act on them because it would make my family and friends sad. Besides, I have a disabled brother and if my parents die I would have to care for him and I can't fuck him over like that. It is sad that these are the only things keeping me away from these dark thoughts, but they are...
Even if I were able to, I don't think I want to live in this house anymore. I just grabbed a drink from my fridge and in the process I was reminded of all, yet few, memories that we have in this house.
**Update 4**: It's 3AM right now. I slept 2 hours. It's not a lot but plenty to keep going. I texted my ex/gf (i dunno yet) that I'm okay to talk for 1 hour today to process things little by little. I came up with a list of questions that I have to ask her. It's not a complete list but questions that are burning inside of me and need an answer.
I still don't know what to do with my life. I think I don't have to think too much about the future and just live day-by-day. I really wish there was a simple fucking solution for the house, but I can't see it... Nor can anyone else I've talked to.
I will lose all the time I spent in the house, 25k on added tax and probably some devaluation if the house is sold right now. This would the biggest fucking setback in life... I hate her for putting me in this position.
My solution to keep on surviving is just to work for my job. I have a big demo today and still have to prep some work. I will probably prep the work but call in sick. I do feel physicially sick to my stomach, have no sleep and am emotionally in a bad place. I will do some work from home though probably. What else could I possibly do...
**TL;DR**
TL;DR my gf was cheating on me, which I found out by DMs in her insta and I will confront her about it in an hour after posting.
GrindingNeverStops: You can always find someone better, as you said, you guys didn’t get married and have kids and then find out, it’ll be hard to end the relationship of course, but it’s what’s best for you. I wish you the best but you are definitely making the right choice. Just don’t let her convince you if she tries to, that it won’t happen again, because it almost definitely will.
Entire-Mixture1093: I probably love her enough to pardon her but at the same time I know she would do it again unless I'd check her every message and move but that is no way of having a relationship... Its fucked up
Londonforce: Best case from here on out is to cut her off for a period of time. You need space to feel what you are feeling so telling her to find someone else to live for a few days/weeks is totally reasonable.
SerialElf: And hell fair or not going to stay with you mom for a week might work out better since it wouldn't be the space the two of you built
Entire-Mixture1093: I kinda wanna do that but at the same time I want to be alone and at the same time I want to be surrounded by my loved ones. I don't know what I want really. I just want this shit feeling to be over...
| 6 | 18 | |
1654530629 | 1654553701 | t3_v66ln4 | t5_2to41 | 59 | bateen618: TIFU by making my friend think I have feelings for her
I'm on mobile and English isn't my first language so forgive the formatting and any grammer errors.
Okay, so like many TIFUs this didn't happen today, it happened 4 years ago.&#10;
Some background:&#10;
This all happened when I was in 11th grade and at an FRC tournament. For those who don't know, FRC is a global robotics contest for teenagers. We build big robots and they compete, to put it simply. When we're at tournaments we also have a "pit" which is a small area to work on the robot when needed. It was on my second year on the team and a girl had joined this year to the team, let's call her Daphne. Daphne was one year younger than me (10th grade). When she joined the team we connected very quickly and became great friends. You know how when you meet a person and there's just an instant connection? It was that. Also, important detail, I am INCREDIBLY DENSE when it comes to girls.We've been hanging out a lot at school for the past few days and, as I realized post-TIFU, flirtting a lot, but is the big stuff and the end of the story. Now for the TIFU itself.
The whole team arrived at the tournament, and she was wearing a short mini-skirt when one of the people in charge told her it was too revealing and she needs to change, luckily she had a pair of leggings in her bag, so I walked with her to the bathroom and was planning to wait for her outside, as a friend would, when she said "are you gonna come inside and help me change?". I, like any other dumbass, thought she was joking and answered "I think you've got it covered" and waited for her outside. She came out and we went on with our day, hanging out, making jokes and stuff.
When the time came for lunch I volunteered to stay at the pit and keep watch so no one would come to mess with out robot or stuff. She, like a good friend would do, said she'd stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. We walk to the pit when we both notice it - A SINGLE CHAIR. We both race to it but unfortunately, she was able to get to it before me. I look at her, sitting victoriously in her plastic champion's throne and ask "well, what am I suppose to do?". She looks at me and with a smirky smile answers "you can sit on me?". Now, in that moment most people would laugh and go sit on the floor or the table or something like that. But you forget I'm a dense af dumbass, so I think she's being serious and answer "but I'll crush you, it would be better if you'll sit on me". And if you'll listen closely, you'll be able to hear the sound of every person reading this (including you, I'm guessing) smacking themselves in the forehead from that incredible stupidy. So she gets up, I sit down and she sits on my knees. She is rather short and I'm tall so she puts her feet on mine and I bounce her legs to the music playing, as a friend would(?). We keep talking when she leans back on my chest. Well, it's she wanted to lean back as you would on a chair, right? Then she grabs my arms and puts them around her in a hug then grabs my upper arm. Now, I'm a very affectionate person, I love to hug and do so often with my friends, including her, of course. So, I thought "huh, just a hug. Okay", as a friend would, RIGHT? Then she starts scooching back. It just because she isn't comfortable, right? So she keeps scooching back until she's sitting on my no-no zone. And like any man would, when a pretty girl is sitting on your inflatable poo jabber, it starts to inflate. But I don't want to make her uncomfortable, like a friend would(!!), and thinking she probably hasn't noticed where she's sitting, I tell her to move forward a bit beacuse she's pressing on my stomach. Now that every one is comfortable we can continue talking, but the music it too loud, so I lean forward a bit to talk more to her ear, but she turns her head a bit beacuse... maybe she thinks it would me hear her better? Yeah, yeah, that must be it.&#10
So there we are:&#10
I'm sitting on a chair, she's sitting on me, almost at Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew. Her feet on mine, bouncing her. She's leaning on my chest. My arms are around her and she's also grabbing my upper arm. I'm leaning my head forward, she's turning hers back, so we are about 10 cm from kissing (4 inch for that one country).&#10
Then, a team member who finished eating early entered the pit, looked at as and asked "are you guys dating?" and the only thought going through my INCREDIBLY DENSE head is "where did he get that idea from?"
For the rest of the day we kept hanging out, at one time she was sitting on a long bench, and I was laying on her thigh, we were both on our phones, she was eating some snack, and every few she would take one and drop it into my mouth. Sometimes she would drop it right above my mouth, and one time, I, JOKINGLY, NOT FLIRTINGLY grabbed her fingers with my mouth as she was holding the snack above my mouth.
I'm telling you all of this as examples of how we flirted A LOT with each other without me even realizing it.
Now, for the thrilling conclusion:&#10
The tournament was far away from where we all lived, so we rented a few rooms in a motel to sleep in. At the evening, we're all at the motel, when she takes me aside. She then tells me she has feelings for me, to my complete surprise. I tell her I'm sorry, and that I don't feel the same way, to HER complete surprise. She asked me "then what the hell was all that flirting?" and I tried to tell her that I honestly didn't realized that I was flirting and didn't was just enjoying messing with her emotions. I don't think she believed me. The day after was one of the worst days of my life. I hurt someone I really cared about, and lost a great friend. I felt terrible the entire day, and mostly stayed alone. I tried to apologize to her at the evening when we returned from the tournament, but she didn't want to talk to me (obviously). We both stayed on the team after, trying to avoide each other as much as we could, after a few weeks we had go stay alone together because of something we as we had no choice, started talking again. It was very awkward, and after we mostly stayed at a hello-at-the-hallway type of communication, we also had a lot of shared friends so we also had to see each other after school often. When I graduated I wanted to apologize to her, but she left school before I could. I lost touch with almost everyone from highschool, and didn't see her after. We texted once, but it was an "how are you? Haven't talked in forever" type of chat that lasted about 5 minuets. Not really a fitting place or time for "sorry for toying with your emotions for a few months and then breaking you heart" type of chat.
So if you're reading this, I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY I'm truly am. I wish I would've said this sooner, because then, maybe today we would still be friends, and maybe even more... (because you know what they say, hindsight is 20-20)
Tl;dr asked a girl to sit on me, didn't realize I was flirting. Really hurt her emotions
sasquack2: I too was a man under the age of 18 and unable to understand the most basic of hints. But what I don’t understand is that after the missing of the hints, she asked you out? The girl that you described as “pretty” and that you “instantly clicked with” and presumably was smart (robotics club) and shared interests with you, and you said you didn’t have feelings for her? Like… how did you NOT have feelings for her?
_far-seeker_: >Like… how did you NOT have feelings for her?
Crippling low self-esteem and/or lack of self-confidence.
bateen618: Yeah, actually. Pretty much that. And also being too young and dumb to realize my own feelings
_far-seeker_: Take from one who knows, you certainly aren't the first!
| 5 | 11.8 | |
1654531392 | 1654541939 | t3_v66vzz | t5_2to41 | 59,755 | No_Advantage_8335: TIFU by letting my boyfriend eat my ass.
So my boyfriend kept telling me how excited he gets when thinking about eating ass.
I’ve always been against it but his constant repetition got me wondering what it would feel like so we decided to give it a go.
During foreplay he asked me again if he could eat my ass and I said yes.
It felt so weird, got my abs tensing up.
While licking down there 🍑 he decided to start fingering it too, the saliva was working as lube so it wasn’t painful or anything but I was feeling like I was gonna poop.
I just ignored it and was just so lost pleasuring myself with my vibrator.
When I orgasmed, I heard my boyfriend shout as if he was in pain.
I was super stressed at this point, scared I might have pooped or something.
He took he face out and stared at me. It was covered in brown watery material and he ended up throwing up on me.
Guess I got food poisoning or something and ended up diarrhoea blasting him.
…
We discussed it after he had a shower. I wanted to cheer him up so I told him I enjoyed it except the poop part. He just sat there in shock for a while and told me he doesn’t want to eat my ass again for a while.
TL;DR I tried anal foreplay and ended up pooping in my boyfriend’s mouth.
Edit: As someone pointed out - “they were basically inducing peristalsis of both the inner and outer sphincter with the fingering and vibrator. Makes ya wanna poop.”
Good to know 👍
Edit 2: People who are saying that my boyfriend is toxic and manipulative clearly don’t know him.
I let him talk about his fantasies, it turns me on.
The world isn’t black and white and adults are capable of finding something previously unacceptable to them acceptable.
Edit 3: I keep getting spam from support saying someone reached out to them.
Just to make it clear, I’m not traumatised by this experience and find it slightly funny. No need to offer me emotional support in messages either 🙂
Haymak3rino: When you go to poops house don’t be surprised when poop shows up
interesseret: i talked to a girl once who claimed she loved to have anal anytime and anywhere. just have her guys take her wherever.
&#x200B;
i doubt she had ever had as much as a feather tickle her butt.
deusasclepian: For real. I tried anal with a girl once. It was a drunken spur of the moment thing for both of us. The sensation was fine I guess. But when I finished and pulled my dick out - I almost threw up.
Don't do anal without some prep cleaning first.
TheConboy22: If a little poop bothers you. Don't do anal. Simple as that.
jejcicodjntbyifid3: I know right? People here are really squeamish. It isn't like my dick has a nose and taste buds. It's just a blind cyclops, spelunking in a tunnel
Nothing a wash won't fix. If these people ever have kids or even pets, boy are they in for a rude awakening
MadxCarnage: kids and pets don't put poop on your genitals.
I hope.
corbear007: No, just put poop and piss in your face. My daughter shot poop up the wall like a fucking comedic sketch, except it was real, and her pink walls were now baby shit brown.
MadxCarnage: yeah, that much is to be expected.
still very different from having poop around and INSIDE your genitals.
corbear007: Eh, skin is washable. Having someone forcefully piss in your face and mouth without consent is a bit worse imho. Bonus points if they shit on you at the same time.
MadxCarnage: I'd take piss in my mouth over shit in my dick anytime.
jejcicodjntbyifid3: Allow me to introduce you to /r/watersports
MadxCarnage: banned :(
but you tried to scar me, so I have to link r/selfsuck and r/selffuck , it's the law.
osberend: Damn, how is there so little trans content in those subs? I am disappoint. Though r/selffuck did have this little gem on the front page, so . . . https://www.reddit.com/r/selffuck/comments/v13ggs/a_gem/
MadxCarnage: first time I meet someone that actually goes through these subs.
I'm scared.
| 15 | 3,983.666667 | |
1654533940 | 1654601355 | t3_v67u4r | t5_2to41 | 374 | thr0wawayy3232: TIFU by wearing a thong
This happened about 12 years ago when I was in my early 20s. Went to a music festival with some friends and we spent the long weekend dancing to live music, and taking lots of recreational drugs.
On the second day of the festival, we started early with the whiskey and kept on into the wee hours of the next morning. Around 2am, my friend "Amy" and I thought it'd be a great idea to take some MDMA. Shortly after, as the shows were coming to a close for the night, Amy and I grabbed our lawn blankets and headed over to have some fun on the "slide" built by the festival organizers (giant sheets of some slippery vinyl like material attached to a giant grassy hill). We stand on our blankets to "surf" in a standing position down to the bottom of the hill and actually got pretty good at this considering the amount of alcohol and other substances we've consumed. At the bottom of the slide where it turned into grass you either had to jump onto the grass or fall back at the last second to avoid faceplanting. On my final run, I sit back to fall back on my ass at the end, and experienced what I thought to be the most painful wedgie of my life.
After a few minutes, the pain proceeds to get worse. I reach back into my skirt and pull out a surprising amount of blood. Horrified but somehow calm, I call out to Amy who is flirting with a guy she has the hots for. Annoyed with me for interfering, Amy tells me she's waiting in line for the slide and will come over later. I finally convince her I need her more immediate attention and we walk back to our tent. Amy is still obviously annoyed with me and thinks I'm exaggerating the claimed injury as I'm still calm and wearing dark tights under my skirt so she doesn't see anything visibly wrong with me. Once in the tent, I ask her to take a look to see how bad it is and pull down my skirt and tights. I first feel validated and then increasingly concerned as she screams OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO GO TO A HOSPITAL. She tells me there is a flap of my asscheek hanging completely open and I for sure need stitches. We debate my need for further medical attention for some time, but after a second look and opinion from our other friend, I lose my argument that I can make due with some bandaids.
Amy runs to the medic tent, and has a hard time explaining exactly what happened so they ask her to bring me over. I walk over and once again, appearing outwardly calm and with no visible injuries, the medics seem annoyed we are wasting their time. One medic asks to see the supposed injury and refuses to give me privacy as he does not believe anything is actually wrong. In the completely open sided medic tent, I shrug and say fine and pull down my skirt and tights. The medic's face quickly changed from disbelief to full mouth agape in confusion and disgust. He walkies a golf cart over to take me to the ambulances (the festival had to contract their own as too many people had not paid their hospital bills to the local hospitals in the past).
Amy rides with me in the ambulance, and the entire ride the contracted EMTs are cracking jokes at my expense and having a good laugh. As they were not local to the area, they proceed to get lost and we drive around for about an hour on some very windy rural roads. Meanwhile, Amy's whiskey/MDMA hangover is kicking in in full effect which is not a great combo with windy roads. The ambulance crew finally figures out where we are and decides this would be a great time to drop off some laundry on the way to the hospital as it's not an emergency situation. Amy busts out the back as soon as we come to a stop and proceeds to throw up on the side of the road while they drop off their laundry service.
We finally get to the hospital and a kind doctor lady gives me 10 stitches in the ass cheek and surprisingly does not ask a ton of questions. After she finishes, she remarks that I have an extremely high pain tolerance (thank you MDMA and whiskey!) and that had the gash been less than half an inch to the left, I could have ripped myself a new one, literally. Poor Amy spent the entire hospital visit in the waiting room bathroom puking.
They cart us back to the festival around 6am and we return to the scene of the crime to try and determine what exactly murdered my ass. After years of theorizing, I think I've finally determined that when I fell back, I landed on a screw securing the slide to the hill. Said screw must have ripped through my tights (there was a tear in the back), got caught on my thong, and then my stretched out thong lacerated the inside of my asscheek as momentum shot me forward with thong still attached to the screw. I'm left with a gnarly scar on the inside of my asscheek 12+ years later, and to this day avoid wearing thongs at all costs.
TLDR; Thong almost ripped me a new asshole after a drunken accident on a slide.
drdickemdown11: It was probably just the screw or a nail. I caught my arm on a nail going through a doorway once, still have the scar from it today
And it sounds like you had more momentum behind (no pun intended) your injury
thr0wawayy3232: For many years I also thought it was the screw. But based on the site of the gash (fully inside of my right ass cheek) and the unmistakable feeling of an atomic wedgie, I'm pretty sure it was the thong pulling so tight/fast it sliced my ass open.
drdickemdown11: So it like sliced into the right side/crack of your butt?
thr0wawayy3232: Yup! Temporarily double cracked.
drdickemdown11: Lol at least you didn’t make yourself a new hole, but anyways yup I think your theory is right. Did it leave a scar?
thr0wawayy3232: I do! The scar is almost fully on the inside of my crack and not quite visible from the rear view lol.
ArltheCrazy: Now you can just tell your partners that ask for anal that you tried it once and decided it wasn’t for you, but since you really like them you might give it a shot. Then show them the scar and don’t say anything else.
| 8 | 46.75 | |
1654533758 | 1654534810 | t3_v67rpu | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by being honest at work.
[deleted]
MagicToolbox: Any boss worth the title should know that someone who claims 100% certainty in a successful solution has not thought through all the possible problems.
An employee who is questioning knows that they CAN'T possibly know all the edge cases. That's why testing exists.
No_Advantage_8335: I believe it might be because I work in a small startup, it doesn’t attract the best talent.
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1654534763 | 1654606763 | t3_v6855x | t5_2to41 | 1,686 | [deleted]: tIFU by washing out a sex toy in the kitchen sink as a blind man
[deleted]
jello-kittu: Time to buy a weird gadget that could possibly explain the sponge. Hydroponics?
theCase99: Soldering iron, those often have sponges.
jello-kittu: Soldering may be one of those activities the mother of a blind man may be hesitant to approve of?
Zippytez: Theres plenty of heat, just solder by feel. when your fingers burn, you know you may be doing it right
stewman241: Really gotta involve smell too.
ephemeral_shell: True true. When you smell your flesh burning, you could be getting somewhere. When you smell the house burning down, time to unplug the iron
| 7 | 240.857143 | |
1654534523 | 1654538761 | t3_v68230 | t5_2to41 | 83 | whiz_on_me: TIFU By almost outing myself to some contractors.
Not today, but some time ago. Reminded of it by another subreddit.
I was living in Indy working for a company that required me to travel to different locations across North America, one project had me in Gastonia, NC alone for 3 weeks. I had family about 1.5 hrs away, so seeing them during the week was difficult. Late one night I decided to see what the gay bars were in the area, and found "The \_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_" near the Charlotte airport.
Again since it was late I decided that I was going to go the next night just to get out of the hotel room. This was something I would do while living alone in Indy as well. I always enjoyed the conversation and atmosphere at the different gay bars I visited, but I made it a personal preference to never go home with, or hook up with someone the same night I met them at a bar, regardless of gender. It avoids that whole "I can't believe you did \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ with \_\_\_\_\_\_ last night and you don't even remember their name.", not to mention the walk of shame.
Anyhow, after my initial visit I was back in Gastonia some months later, and having moved to NC, I was not staying at the hotel where the project lead, or contractors were. When a couple of the guys are talking about going out bar hopping Saturday night, and asked if I knew of any good bars in the area, since I lived in the Charlotte area. Being that these guys were always talking shit about women, and what they had done, or would do with this one or that one, and most time it was downright vulgar and disgusting, I decided I knew where to send them.
"Hey guys, there is a great bar over by the airport. The \_\_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_\_. Go check it out, its on the frontage road." and I left it at that.
Monday while on the jobsite I hear some comments to the tune of "yeah, I didn't think anything of it until I saw some guys dancing together, then I noticed it was all guys." "We figured what the hell, we're here already, and the best part was I didn't have to buy myself one drink." But nobody point blank said the name, or asked me about it, and I just let it go as "whatever" not even thinking about sending them there. To be honest, as soon as I left the worksite Saturday I didn't give the crew or project leader a second thought. I was just there for engineering support and their shenanigan's didn't matter to me.
5 years later I'm on another job, and one of the guys that was on the NC crew and the subject of a place to get a drink came up. Just as I said "hey, there's a great" I was interrupted by, "no, we aren't falling for that shit again. You sent me and so&so to that bar in Charlotte, only to find out it was a gay bar".
My response was "oh shit, you guys actually went?" "Hell yes we went, had a fun time, didn't even have to buy our own drinks, but once is enough." I think he bought my feigned shock about it being a gay bar, but maybe not.
TLDR if you aren't out, don't send your coworkers to one of you favorite gay bars,
cko02: This is funny to me. Really funny. "Hell yeah we went, once is enough"
ladyoflothlorien36: What a good sport!!!!
| 3 | 27.666667 | |
1654536288 | 1654574501 | t3_v68pva | t5_2to41 | 72 | Pachycephalosaur_: Tifu I adopted a cat
So there's this tom cat in my neighborhood who got another car pregnant. She had kittens and one of my kind neighbors is currently fostering all 7 of them. This neighbor who I'll call "A" made a post asking if the father cat was anyone's. I read a comment on A's post that said he was left behind by his owners when they moved. I felt bad and said jokingly "I waaaant himm". A replied and told me to message her. I messaged her and learned a bit more about him and decided that I'd at least take him to get neutered and let him recover at my house.
While all of this was happening I forgot a very important detail. I'm 14 and I already have a dog, a salamander and a leopard gecko. Also I'm very allergic to cats.
I told my mom about the cat roughly an hour ago and she was, understandably, upset. I have enough money currently to take care of him but I was saving up for some nice computer equipment. I can get over the computer stuff but I feel really guilty about upsetting my mom. I know I am able to take care of him and there's no way I will re-home him. I know I shouldn't have gone and done that without permission but I really want a cat and I guess I was just blinded by that.
Tl;dr I adopted a cat and forgot that I'm 14 and live with my mom.
RedditUser9878910: Hi OP,
First off: I don’t have any suggestions for you since it seems like you are already very aware of the logistics and emotional pros and cons of the situation and will come to the best possible decision on your own.
I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you for caring about the cat! It sounds like you care a lot about the other animals and people around you too. While I am so sorry about your difficult situation I want to let you know that your post brought me some happiness and a lot of reassurance by reminding me of the kindhearted, articulate, and considerate people like you in the world. Sending all my best wishes that things turn out well!
Pachycephalosaur_: I have good news! My mom said she would consider letting him be indoor/outdoor kitty if the dogs approved (they probably will).
RedditUser9878910: Thanks for the update! So glad to hear it
| 4 | 18 | |
1654539457 | 1654748243 | t3_v69wss | t5_2to41 | 153 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my husband buy a motorcycle
[deleted]
Officer445: What kind of bike was this? Do you have pictures?
giiesouza: Yep, got you a pic
https://ibb.co/8PqHLjf
monkeyboys45: That is not a little mini motorcycle. That thing is a fast death trap.
giiesouza: Its not, it doesnt have a motor. Its definitely electric T-T
Altruistic_Piece_431: Girlfriend. If that thing is electric, then it's gonna be quicker n shit lol whats the make and model?
ghablio: No, it's a cheap Chinese bike, it will be neither fast nor very reliable and it's range is going to be pretty low. He made a bad choice
Altruistic_Piece_431: Well we all have to start somewhere!! Maybe he'll discover a passion and upgrade, and maybe he'll realize this isn't for him and won't be in the hole financially, right?
ghablio: Maybe, but there's also a problem with starting on the wrong bike for your needs and getting turned off.
If he feels unsafe constantly because he can't keep up with traffic, he may ride scared and actually *be* more dangerous. Ideally a first bike is something along the lines of a rebel 3-500, ninja 400 class of bike. Very tame, easy to ride, not much more expensive than these Chinese bikes (+ being able to re-sell for 80-90% of purchase price), but still able to easily keep up with traffic and powerful/ heavy enough to be stable when vehicles pass you or on windy days.
It's a give and take, but there are definitely negatives if you go too far in any direction
Altruistic_Piece_431: That's definitely very valid points!! Is the bike really that slow though? Even the little Ninja 250s can get at least 80mph from what I've seen!! I started on a 600, so I don't have experience with the 300-400s or electric bikes. But slow to the point of not being able to keep up with traffic is alarming to me.
ghablio: Many of these electrics will top out around 35-40 mph with an average sized person riding. Not sure about this specific one, but yes, generally they are actually that slow.
A better choice is something like a Grom or a Z125. They top out around 55-60 depending on gearing and rider size, not much more expensive, much higher quality as well. They can do highways, but not freeways.
Anyhow, you're not wrong either in saying that he may feel inspired and upgrade later, but I would stay firm that the bike he chose is probably a bad choice
Altruistic_Piece_431: That's great insight, thank you!
ghablio: Sorry to drag this on on a deleted post.
I would encourage you to do some test rides if there's any dealerships near you. It's absolutely mind boggling how many good beginner bikes there are now. Modern bikes are just so smooth and controllable compared to something from the 80's like a magna or the90's/ early 2000's speed wars era.
Hope you ride safely and have long career on two wheels!
| 13 | 11.769231 | |
1654539978 | 1654549301 | t3_v6a3me | t5_2to41 | 672 | Apina2001: TIFU by cutting my girlfriend's tulip
My GF has been nagging for a while about the weeds around her tulips. Finally I managed to borrow a string trimmer from my dad and went out to test it. It worked well - actually too well as I accidentally cut one of the tulips. I panicked a little. Should I tell? She would be happy as I whacked the weeds, but mad about cutting the flower. I wonder if she would even notice. I finished the job and tried to think for solution. I finished the job and picked up the cut tulip and had it on the kitchen table while I opened a beer, so I can think better. I needed total 4 beers before I came up with a solution.
I did not tell her, but I just casually inserted the cut tulip in a vase on the kitchen table. She likes when I bring flowers. Then I went hiding in my mancave.
I survived.
TL;DR I accidentally cut a flower and inserted it in a vase like it was a gift
Neat-Boysenberry5333: Nagging you? No. She asked you and you didn’t do it. So she had to ask, again and again. She is not nagging, you are lazy.
TheRafiki7: If they're her plants why doesn't she do the gardening? She wants the hobby and aesthetic without the work. Doesn't sound like he's the lazy one.
Neat-Boysenberry5333: If he wasn’t going to do it, he should have told her. Instead, he likely said sure and never followed through.
TheRafiki7: Nice assumption about someone you never met. Also if she wanted her garden weeded so bad around her tulips she should've just did it herself. Still makes her the lazy one.
| 5 | 134.4 | |
1654539725 | 1654541086 | t3_v6a0cz | t5_2to41 | 22 | Fragrant-Advice-879: TIFU by disappointing my (maybe) future boss
!Obligatory happened a few years ago!
English is my third language, so please bear with all of the potential mistakes that I'm about to make.
So, I (m,14 at the time) had an unpaid internship at a toyota dealership. It was a school related thing, so the whole class had an internship at the same time. Not at the same place, of course.
I got the spot at the dealership through family connections and was actually super excited, because I always considered becoming a car salesman. They all greeted me very nicely and I quickly felt like I belonged. One of their sales apprentices took me under his wing and I nearly spent the entire workday with him, even though I got a glimpse at everyones everyday tasks. Me and the apprentice really hit it off and we also spent the breaks together, where we would go to the guys who worked in the garage, looking after the cars (gets significant later in the story). All in all, a pretty fun and educational experience!
One day, the boss of the dealership decided to visit, so I took the opportunity to meet him. He seemed to like me and my enthusiasm and I liked him as well. He was pretty old and I got extreme "old mentor" vibes from him.
Fast forward to the last day of the internship, I decided to bake some muffins for everyone, to thank them for taking me in etc. The boss decided to show up, to say goodbye to me personally and to give me a present. He gave me a rare toyota jacket. The design was old and apparently they did not make them anymore, which is the reason for it's rarity.
He told me that this was his last one and he decided to gift it to me, as a "thank you" for choosing his dealership. I was actually quite moved and happily accepted.
Here we get to the fuckup. I ran to the sales apprentice and proudly showed him the jacket. He then said that I should show it to the guys from the garage. So I did. One of the apprentices there told me how cool the jacket is and how he would kill to have it. He offered me a trade. A jacket for an, allegedly, very expensive necklace. I went through something like a "I wanna be cool" phase at the time, so I thought that a necklace did not sound so bad. Conveniently, he did not have it on him right now and only showed me pictures in which he wore it. It did look very cool. He told me that he would send me the necklace by mail and stupid, naive little me accepted the deal, after the other apprentices encouraged me to do so. They told me how this kind of necklace is in style right now and how good I would look with it. Thinking that they would not lie to me, because I've known the for a week, I gave away the jacket, only moments after receiving it in a very sincere moment, for a stupid necklace, that I did not even get at the same time. (The apprentices were all around 18-20 years old, by the way)
I actually never got the necklace. Through my family connecton, I heard that the boss was reaaaally dissapointed at how I treated his gift. My family connection (he works there, by the way), also told me how stupid he thinks it was from me, which is why he did not help me with establishing contact to the apprentice whom I tradet the jacket to. It seems like a small thing but it genuenly bothers me when I think about it today. I hate 14 year old me. 14 is young, but not young enough to be *this* naive, in my opinion.
Now that I am about to finish school, I might apply for an apprenticeship at the toyota dealership. I'm kinda nervous about meeting the boss again, even though it has been such a long time. I was a kid, but I still left a negative impression.
Tldr: Was an intern at a car dealership. Had a wholesome Interaction with the boss who gifted me a rare jacket (with the car brand on it). Only moments later I gave the awesome jacket away for a necklace that I never even recieved.
RosieQParker: Everyone expects a 14 year old to fuck up. What matters is how you handle it. Be honest about it and don't shift blame. Keep your head high, apologize for disappointing him and accept full responsibility. That'll speak louder than the actual mistake.
Fragrant-Advice-879: You are right. I don't think there is anything better I could do.
RosieQParker: People who own their mistakes are rare as hen's teeth, especially in the car sales world.
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1654540541 | 1654643816 | t3_v6aau6 | t5_2to41 | 25 | ImAFurryLOLOL: TIFU By Buying a Stolen Phone off of Ebay.
So, I'm 16, and I work on tech stuff. I work on mainly phones and laptops, sometimes other stuff. Anyways, back in December I saw an iPhone 11 for sale on ebay with a broken screen. I decided what the hell and bought it for $85 USD. I get it and the first red flag is that it wasnt even packaged, like nothing to protect it whatsoever in a box 5x the size of it. Luckily it was still in very very good condition other than the screen being smashed. A few months pass and I finally ordered the screen for it in March, and replaced the screen on it when I had free time (luckily the day the screen came in!). Second red flag was when I opened up the phone for the first time and seen someone had been in it before me. The screws in the bottom were stripped out Completely, and when I finally got the screen free from the phone, the earpiece ribbon is straight torn in half. I do the screen swap, and place order for a new earpiece speaker, and receive it a few weeks later. Afterwards I get greeted with a "iPhone is disabled. Connect to iTunes" message when I connect the screen and turn the phone on. This was the third red flag for me. Its been sitting on me desk and day before yesterday I said fuck it and took a photo of Medical ID, before connecting it up to iTunes and updating and restoring it. I couldnt find the name on Medical ID anywhere, and I had basically been cyberstalking this lady just trying to find a number, email, anything! I restore the phone, go through set up thing and get greeted with activation lock. I decide to keep searching on Facebook and finally found the lady yesterday (thankfully!) so I sent her a message explaining I had her iPhone and stuff. She blocked me almost 5 minutes afterwards. So. I create a new account and send screenshots and stuff of iTunes showing the phone was locked, a photo of the phone locked, the Med. ID photo and then she finally decided to listen. She didnt really know how to respond in anyway, but I let her know what all I had to do to it, and I'm gonna send it back to her later today or tomorrow at some point. She said she thought she lost the phone, and that she needed the info off of it. I do want to note, i did wipe the phone, yes, but I didn't really have a choice, iTunes said the phone was running into an error and needed to be updated and restored, so idk what happened there. Anyways, be careful buying a broken phone from online kids!!!
TL;DR- bought a very inexpensive iPhone 11 from a guy on Ebay, turns out the phone was stolen from some lady who didn't even have it 3 months and thought she had lost it for good. Sending it back to her here in the next few days.
Alucard12203: Swappa. for future purchases.
IrishJesusDude: Within 3 months you'll also get the money back from eBay as it was a stolen item.
ImAFurryLOLOL: Wait do I have to return the item or no? And I bought it back in December so I don't think I am able to now lol
IrishJesusDude: No, you won't have to return it, you can give it to the rightful owner. I'm not sure on the exact time limit for this sort of thing, 90 days rang a bell but do send ebay a message through support and you might just be under the 6 months if that's what the limit is
ImAFurryLOLOL: Ok, I'll do that! It'll be nice to get my 84 dollars back lol!
FreeOffbrandTherapy: Call police imo, or at least report it as stolen on Amazon or eBay or w.e
Then you get your money back and the lady gets her phone.
Don't just give it back unless you are cool losing the eighty and a bit yknow
| 7 | 3.571429 | |
1654540722 | 1654541540 | t3_v6ad6g | t5_2to41 | 20 | qndry: TIFU by drunkenly opening up to my crush via text
It was yesterday that I was at her graduation party, the girl that I have been crushing over a bit for the last couple of years. We have known eachother for about 4 years, an on and off type of relationship. I've always been interested in her, but not really been sure what she felt about me (I cynically guessed it wasn't mutual). For the majority of time we've known eachother we have been in different relationships, but we always been close as friends. At this moment in time we were both single and I was tempted to make an attempt to see if she might feel the same way.
But I swatted the idea away, the venue just wasnt right for making advances. As this is a party, I get very drunk, but still have a good time. At around 1 am I make my excuses and leave. On my way home my wish to be with her increase. I again think about opening up to her, drunkenly hoping for something.
Being an impulsive idiot, I decide to write a several paragraph long text message about how I feel for her. I don't know what made me do this, I just wrote a pure, drunken stream of conscious. I went OVERBOARD. It was extremely pathethic and sentimental. I told her how much I loved her, that I would do anything, for her, that there is probably no one as good as her out there. As stupid as it might sound, I also wrote that I could cut my earlobe of like Van Gogh did. Yes, I know that's a fucked up thing to write, I regret it. My judgement was severly lacking and for some reason I thought writing all of this was somehow okay. I click send and put the phone away.
I come home later that night, crashing to bed and instantly fall asleep. As soon as I awake the next morning, I remember my text. I start cold sweating, already then realising the stupidity of my mistake.
I check my phone, no response. My anxiety increases, but she's a slow responder so I think it might be alright. Maybe this is still saveable
I check our Facebook messages to see when she's last been online. I open our messages and get this notification "this Facebook account doesn't exist".
"Oh fuck" I think "did she block me?"
My panic increases. I search her name on FB, but find no results. I realise that this isnt a mistake or a glitch, she blocked me.
"Fuck, I went too far" My hands start trembling,
In pure, almost animal like panic I grab my phone and call her. No response. I collapse onto my couch, thoughts racing at what felt like the speed of light. Shame, guilt, anxiety, all of this just showers over me.
I pick up my phone again, thinking what the best course of action is. I can only come up with one thing.
"I'm sorry, I wont ever contact you again"
After that I wait, just wallowing in my regret and anxiety. What have I done? What will she respond? After some time the answer comes:
I've deleted message now, but it basically said this:
"Yes never contact me again, what you wrote was fucked up and I never want talk to you again. Have a nice life"
It's now late at night the day after and Im just in pure agony. I know that I fucked up, I just didnt realise that it would end up this badly. I fucked up, for real and I can probably never rectify this.
Lesson learned: Don't drink and text your crush and don't write fucked up shit to her even if that's what you feel on the inside.
Feel free to dunk on my stupidity in the comments, I sort of deserve it.
TLDR; I drunk texted my crush about how I felt for her and as a result I got blocked and told to never contact her again.
SmittyManJensen_: Sorry, this is pretty funny, but lesson learned. And hey, you’re young so you have plenty more time to never do this again lol.
qndry: Haha yeah it's pretty comical, when you think about it. i Look forward to being able to laugh at it, gotta give it time though.
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1654540701 | 1654541755 | t3_v6acws | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming 2 same age female friends were mother/daughter
[deleted]
Shinrahunter: I would have told her straight up that I thought she was older. She's already being pissy about it anyway. Then check their ID'S for the extra fuck of it.
petitebeurre4: She was nice pissy. It was like she was feeling so insecure about the comment so she kept begging for me to tell her. Relentless but in a scared, vulnerable, desperate-to-not-be-the-mom way. I did not have the heart break it to her. I still wouldn't be able to do it if I was in the same situation right now. Too sad
Shinrahunter: Ah fair enough.From that it sounds like she probably heard it before.
My mum still recites the story of meeting a friend of my step dad's early on in their relationship and him thinking she was his mum.
She is 10 years older than him though and he was 19 when they got together so uts not too outlandish, haha.
Still, even now all these years later she'll bring it.up..
| 4 | 5 | |
1654542676 | 1654559165 | t3_v6b3uq | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a stranger take my virginity without condom and I'm having panic attacks of possible HIV infection
[deleted]
SirzechsLucifer: This is probably bait but I'll play along just in case it isnt
Homosexuals starting HIV was never true. That was something, that, was flat out fabricated. There is zero evidence that homosexual sex is more prone to AIDS/HIV.
ALSO even you did. Medical science had improved to the point that they can completely halt the progression of HIV into AIDS.
But also. Now your real concern should be how you are going to explain this to your steady gf. She is going to ask why you didnt come to her. I hope you are truthful. That's may be the only way to salvage this.
Gl
Ivan__Ilyich: I really don't know what I'll tell her, I have to find a way to avoid sex with her, but I can't tell her what I have done, this will destroy us
SirzechsLucifer: If you are upfront there is a chance to salvage. Lie about it and hide it and it's over 100%.
Edit to clarify: open relationships rely on transparency and honesty. Start hiding things and it's over anyway.
But also, and I'll say it again. Anal sex =/= you have aids. If it did it would effect couples unilaterally. Since strait couples have anal and oral too.
Tbh I cant help but feel we aren't being told something here. People haven't believed that garbage about aids for decades. So either you aren't telling us something, or you have very antiquated and homophobic viewpoints.
But at the end of the day go get a test.
Ivan__Ilyich: Something that I don't tell you regarding what exactly??
No I'm not homophobic, don't know what makes you think something like that, I just told you that a man fucked me
I'm never having sex unprotected, this was one of the very few times in my life, and the last time was about 6-7 years ago, If I had unprotected sex with a female I have meet 20 mins ago, I would have the same thoughts
SirzechsLucifer: My point was unprotected sex =/= mean you have aids. The reason I asked was Becuase it isnt a normal thought process to jump to I have HIV
20 minutes after sex.
Ivan__Ilyich: Yes you're right about that, I just can't control the thought of the possibility to have HIV
And sure, all of these, the thoughts, the action that I took, it's my bad, I just try to find a way to protect my self and my beloved gf after the mistake (sex without protection, not sex with a man) that I have done
betterversionn: Don’t listen to this person. Did you contract HIV? Unlikely. BUT it was unprotected anal sex with a stranger. You’re not the first to have done it (lol- by any means), and you won’t be the last. However; it’s a risk. And if it was just you, I’d say dont sweat it, and just get tested. However, it’s not just you, and all of your comments and concerns are valid. Again, IM SURE YOU’RE JUST FINE, but (1) don’t do it unprotected again, at least with someone you don’t know, (2) get tested, and (3) since you are in an open relationship, you definitely may want to consider being honest and then having protected sex with her until you can get tested.
HIV sucks, but it’s not even the death sentence it once was. My best friend is positive, and it’s basically a non-issue. I think all he takes everyday is a special vitamin. It’s expensive, but it’s totally covered (I think) by the government.
Anyway, my only point is to try not to worry, be honest, and carry a condom with you next time you go to the park ;-)
But yeah…don’t panic, you’re okay ❤️
Oh - and see my other comment and quickly look into PrEP.
| 8 | 0.875 | |
1654542718 | 1654626567 | t3_v6b4ea | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU for not going to my moms wedding and ruining her day
[deleted]
JumpinJackTrash42: Your mom sounds like a narcissistic twat. You could have told her you weren't going but honestly who gives a fuck. You told your aunt. It's not like she was in the dark about it. The thing that most concerns me is the incident involving your stepbrother that you "can't talk about". If he violated you in some way and your mom took his side or whatever, fuck that bitch. Sharing DNA with someone obligates you to exactly nothing. And you should press charges.
Strawberry_coktail: Honestly I agree fuck her
JumpinJackTrash42: I haven't talked to my dad in 19 years. Best decision I ever made.
Strawberry_coktail: I think I will stop speaking to my mom because she isn’t supporting me financially either so I would have nothing to loose.
JumpinJackTrash42: There you go. You don't have to put up with anything from family that you wouldn't put up with from anyone else.
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1654543175 | 1654580344 | t3_v6bafd | t5_2to41 | 125 | estebanmozz: TIFU encouraging my GF to use reddit
This happened last night. My GF is new around reddit (if you're reading this, *hi honey*) and she knows I'm a big fan of this website. So, we're at home chilling when she created an account and starting browse across the main page, as I was talking about the great articles, opinions, art, memes and everything you can find here on reddit. Our native language is spanish, but we can understand english, as I told her that maybe 70% of great content it's on this language. I started to recommend some subs she may find interesting, like r/TwoXChromosomes, r/Art, r/fashionporn and so.
Then, I said "there's even a gonewild sub where women (and men) empower their body by posting nudes anonymously". Now, tbh, there's been a while since my last visit to that sub. She visits the sub and she's like "okay... you visit this one frecuently?" And I was like "umm not really, why?" Next thing I do is open the sub and sweet Lord, I don't remember to be so explicit, lol. Well she get mad at me for the rest of the night, and I afraid than now everytime I'm on the iPad browsing reddit she may think I'm just watching p0rn, when the majority of time I'm reading financial tips, news, history memes and just nerd stuff.
&#x200B;
TL;DR GF start using reddit. Recommended her some subs and now she thinks I'm just watching p0rn with extra steps.
Such-Wrongdoer-2198: Yes. I too only visit reddit for the articles.
PCDub: Great cartoons too
HulkHogansRoids: And the wonderful art which i saved for later viewing
| 4 | 31.25 | |
1654544649 | 1654548443 | t3_v6btzo | t5_2to41 | 25 | darryshan: TIFU by ordering pizza
To preface this story: I'm Jewish. I'm not *very* observant, but I like to avoid non-kosher categories of food. I still eat meat that isn't kosher slaughtered because my 500k+ city has a population of about 1,000 Jews in total and eating fully kosher would be an ordeal my poor ass can't afford. More relevant to the story, I also eat meat and dairy together. (Except on Shabbat)
Today, I had a very long lie-in, waking up late in the afternoon with strong hunger pangs. I opened up a food delivery app and browsed for a bit, before deciding to order from Papa John's (other pizza delivery chains are available). Avoiding pork felt pretty easy - after all, I was reading the descriptions of each pizza. But, in my post-sleep hunger-induced haze, I must have slacked when it came to the Chicken BBQ pizza. After all, the other pizzas with pork on them were pretty clear about having more than one ingredient. Surely the only meat on a Chicken BBQ pizza would be... Chicken.
Pizza arrives. I dig in. I'm halfway through the pizza when I notice something suspiciously pink and square-shaped bisected by my bite. I swallow uncomfortably, realizing my pizza has multiple other squares of pink meat interspersed across it. Ham. My first thought is they'd fucked up the order, or hadn't disclosed the full list of ingredients. Denial, then anger. But a look on the website revealed that indeed, one of the toppings of this pizza was ham. But there are a lot of Muslims in my city - most pizza places use processed turkey ham instead! Maybe I was safe? The third stage of grief, bargaining, manifested as I browsed the website to find the details of ingredients. Alas, this ham was made from the meat of *sus domesticus*, a name that felt apt as nausea began to fill my stomach. Depression, then acceptance quickly followed, as I came to terms with my mistake.
TL;DR: Don't order food half-asleep if you have specific dietary requirements.
patty-d: One time when I was a little kid I had a sleepover and the next day was Friday. Must have been a day off school. The mom made breakfast and I was eating bacon and eggs. Yum! Until I realized it was Lent and we Catholics didn’t eat meat on Fridays in Lent. I was horrified and so scared I was going to hell! I still remember that to this day! 🙄
Dezirrez: Some religions really are specific and in all honesty, weird with their limitations on what can be eaten and not.
patty-d: Yep
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1654546169 | 1654552997 | t3_v6ce6w | t5_2to41 | 27 | onemorestripe: TIFU by taking my shirt off in the locker room
I recently started training in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. It's amazing. So after months of drilling and live rolling, I earned a stripe. My coach wrapped the tape around my white belt and the rest of the team began calling me a "one-stripe wonder" which was also amazing.
Me and my girlfriend celebrated by going to the beach. I fell asleep and ended up with a mild sunburn on my chest. No big deal but I skipped my regular Gi class.
Then I fucked up by going to a No-Gi class. The Gi is the thick and rough kimono people who pratice everything from Judo to Karate use. In BJJ, it's for gripping and protection. In the no-gi class, peole just wear rash guards and fight shorts. As soon as class started, I realized how much of a game changer it was. Think of brushing your teeth with your left hand. You can do it, but you have to think about it. While I was thinking, my partner would crank my limbs.
That wasn't the fuck up. So when we're good and tired after 8 minute rounds of live rolling, we head to the locker room to change. I take my shirt off first because it's hot AF in there and I'm dripping sweat while waiting for the locker room to clear up.
I noticed people looking at my chest while I was waiting. No big deal. I have 5 big colorful tattoos so this is the par for me. But the looks were more concerning and no one asked why I have a giant caterpillar smoking a hookah and sitting on a mushrooms tattooed. I'm too tired to think about it.
Then I grabbed my clothes from my bag and looked down.
Holy shit! The chest on my skin is coming off. I looked like a banner with the holes cut out for wind resistance. Cronenberg would've gotten a boner looking at me. The friction during the class combined with the peely skin of my chest and produced this nightmare. My entire chest looked like an old pully sweater. Worse, I was flaking on the floor. My rashguard was even fuller with disgusting skin flakes. People weren't checking out the tattoos, they were wondering if I was contagious.
Needless to say, I cleaned up and got dressed quickly. I left in a hurry without making eye contact.
TLDR: I got sunburned and went to a jiu-jitsu class. The peely skin came off in sheets.
4O4-user-not-found: If anyone asks just tell them that leprosy is going around and shrug.
Your_Trash_Daddy: Hey, leprosy is no joke! That's why in Canada they banned leprosy from hockey. Too many face-offs.
4O4-user-not-found: Gives the term throwing punches a whole new meaning.
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1654550095 | 1654602270 | t3_v6dvb0 | t5_2to41 | 131 | GoLoco511: TIFU by insisting my favorite Simpson is Graggle
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Samasher17: You spent longer on this than is healthy.
b_ootay_ful: [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu\_by\_enraging\_the\_parents\_of\_my\_girlfriend\_by/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/)
| 3 | 43.666667 | |
1654550764 | 1654625029 | t3_v6e46y | t5_2to41 | 7 | lunarstardust16: TIFU by accidentally making toxic gas at work
So I work at a dog rescue which means a good part of my job is cleaning. I clean kennels, yards, dishes etc.
Today I wasn’t on my A game because I didn’t sleep well last night and I had a pounding headache. When I came in 3 dogs had pooped in their kennels. I starting moving dogs around so I could get their kennels empty and then I set off looking for mop water. The only mop water I found more resembled chocolate milk than water that’s how dirty it was. Trying to stifle my frustration at my coworkers for them not cleaning the poop when it happened and not emptying out the disgusting mop water I went and emptied the mop bucket. This is when things started to go awry. I started to fill up the bucket with clean water and ended up spilling water everywhere. I was going to clean it after I put cleaning chemicals in the water. So because we are cleaning up after animals we have two cleaners in the same size and shape containers. One is bleach and one is ammonia based specifically for odor. I grabbed the bleach and poured some into the bucket. I put the top back on and put it back on the shelf but then I realized I put half the amount I was supposed to so I reached for the bleach again. Then I slipped on the water I spilled before. I decided I didn’t want to fall again so I would clean up the water on floor before I put more bleach in. At this point I’m pretty frustrated and over getting this done. I grab the bleach and put the right amount then I roll the bucket over to the first kennel. I started mopping and thought hey this smells kinda weird. I ignored that and kept mopping moving to the next kennel I thought hold on this really does smell weird it smells like the odor eliminator and bleach. At this point I realize I have done something terribly wrong. I ran back to the shelf and saw that the bleach and odor eliminator are right next to each other so yes i did indeed mix bleach and ammonia. I start to panic as I realized that mixing bleach and ammonia makes toxic gas. Of course right then my coworker comes and starts talking to me. I know I need to get rid of this water immediately but I also didn’t want to explain to my coworker what I had done. I asked her to go get something for me at the front of the building and then moving as fast as I could dumped all the water out, washed the sink, made new water, and starting re cleaning where I had already mopped. Thankfully no one got hurt but I really felt like a dumbass and will definitely double check labels from now on.
TL;DR
I was cleaning at work but wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. I ended up mixing bleach and ammonia which creates toxic gas.
nowhereman1223: Your employer needs to have separate buckets and different sized shaped or at least colored containers for the two chemicals and really shouldn’t use them interchangeably. That causes issues like this that can potentially kill people and animals.
Cross post to r/OSHA.
This is a definite employer issue.
agentofchaos69: Fuck OSHA
VirtualDeliverance: Oh hi Elon.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1654551195 | 1654554703 | t3_v6e9wu | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by dumping the best boyfriend I ever had.
[removed]
craftminer49er: Sounds like he dodged a serious bullet. Politics is cool and all but it’s not a real problem anyone needs to worry about, and donating money to those laundering schemes is a serious red flag. The covid stuff is up to whoever’s personal choice it is to mask or not, but it sounds like you put the talking heads on TV higher up than your SO which is just disrespectful. Take it as a hard lesson and hopefully after these past two years you’ve learned from it
Chilichunks: Oof, talk about hot takes.
Hate to break it to you buddy but "politics is not a real problem anyone needs to worry about" has got to be the most ignorant thing I've heard in awhile. You go ahead and tell that to all the women in the country worrying about the possible overturn of Roe v. Wade and see if they agree with you. I'll wait. There's more than just that wrong with your comment but frankly that's the most egregious.
craftminer49er: You can vote if your worried about politics. But donating your hard earned money to people who, let’s be honest, are just gonna pocket that shit off shore anyway? Ignorant at best, and downright damaging at worst. Either way: your supposed to be loyal to your SO over politics anyway
Chilichunks: Do you think the women in America get to vote about whether or not Roe v. Wade is overturned? Here's a hint: they don't.
Do you have proof the ACLU or Planned Parenthood misappropriated funds? Or do you just, for some reason, not like them and picked something out of a hat of which to accuse them?
And if my SO believes women don't have rights, LGBT people need to be forcefully converted, creationism needs to be taught in schools, am I still "supposed to be loyal"?
craftminer49er: Yes, you will be able to vote. Abortion will be returned to the state level and you can vote on whether or not you want it legal or illegal in your state because, this is a democracy. And of course those organizations misappropriate funds. They ALL do. Fuck even the cancer charities pocket like 80-90% of proceeds. If you want to see change, be change. Don’t give money to other people to do it for you because they’re grifting 110% of the time.
As for your other point, those things are typically what you’d find out about eachother before you become steady daters. OP had been dating her boyfriend knowing full well his politics so she chose that. She doesn’t get to be upset that she broke up with him lmfao
weebeardedman: >Yes, you will be able to vote.
No, you won't. That's not how anything works at that level of court.
craftminer49er: Yes, it will be struck down by the Supreme Court and moved onto the states, where you will then be able to vote on it :)
weebeardedman: >Yes, it will be struck down by the Supreme Court
You can't say that with any surety
| 9 | 0.777778 | |
1654551488 | 1654552536 | t3_v6edo9 | t5_2to41 | 35 | aclaybro: TIFU by getting stuck in handcuffs with company over
This actually happened some time ago, but I remembered it recently and wanted to share as I found it amusing then, and still do now.
Anyways, I was at my girlfriend’s (at the time) place and we were pretty active and explorative sexually. We recently made a trip to an adult store for toys to spice things up a bit and have some fun. I went to visit her and she had some company over; a mutual work friend who also had brought one of her kids with her.
I’m chilling in the bedroom and eventually coerce my girlfriend into the bedroom with me, and before you know it, we get to doing the bang bang boogie. Now at our aforementioned trip to the adult store, I bought some fuzzy, self releasing handcuffs, but I left them in the bag back at my place. We wanted to experiment with them, but fret not, she had her own pair stashed away, and they were real handcuffs. No self releasing. She had a key for them and everything, so Al Salam Alaykom let’s ride. She’s not into restraints all that much and has to be in a particular mood for them, so she slaps them bad boys on me and we get hot and heavy.
When we’re done, and it’s time for the steel to come off, I tell her to grab the keys.
Can’t find em.
We rip the bed apart, look under it, behind it, in the heating vents, nada. Now I’m kinda like oh shit, but I’m a pretty chill guy, so I’m not sweating it and we try to get em off other ways. Picking the lock with a paper clip, seeing what YouTube has to offer about our predicament, and we quickly come to the realization that these bitches ain’t coming off without third party assistance.
She’s worried, borderline panicking, we still got company out in the living room. She dials 9-1-f**king 1. I can’t take shit seriously on a normal day, let alone now. So she gets connected to dispatch and I’m already snickering in the bed next to her. The lady on the other end hears me as my girlfriend tells her of our plight and the dispatch lady starts laughing. Hearing her laugh turns my snickering into a full blown cackle and my girlfriend is mad and embarrassed and 50 shades of red. Dispatch says we gotta call a locksmith and that’s the end of that conversation. Now we gotta find and call a locksmith (in the middle of the night, mind you). We find one that’s open, my girlfriend gives them a call and now has to deal with explaining our situation completely over again to another stranger while I’m laughing in the background, which in turn causes the lady who answered the phone to laugh and the both of us are just trapped in a cycle of laughter, feeding off of each other. All while my girlfriend sits on the phone flustered and embarrassed. The lady says she has a guy that could actually help us, but they gotta call the police to make sure I’m not a fugitive or anything before they come out — the same police dispatch we spoke to previously.
So now I get my girlfriend to help me out on some shorts and throws a blanket over me and I giggle as we do the walk of shame out into the living room, past our guests, and to the front door and outside so we can wait for our locksmith savior. He comes, I show him ID, and he chuckled and tells me about how they had a laugh calling them police about us and the police laughing and telling them about our previous call to them. Guy says he’s a retired police officer and just so happens to have handcuff keys. He frees me, my girlfriend pays the man $85 for my freedom, and I snap a picture of his work van to ever serve as a reminder to my girlfriend of the events that transpired that night.
TLDR: Girlfriend and I spice up sexy time with actual handcuffs, she loses the key, and we had to get the police, a locksmith, and $85 involved to set me free again.
Natsurulite: Bruh
Just depress the little locking bit with a paperclip near the teeth
aclaybro: We tried fiddling with it but couldn’t get it to loosen up, so we gave up and sought help lol. I previously had no experience with handcuffs before lol.
Natsurulite: When you get a chance, find those handcuffs and fiddle with them for a bit
You’re gonna be PISSED when you see how it all goes together, but it’ll be useful for future endeavors 😂
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1654551975 | 1654554404 | t3_v6ek6x | t5_2to41 | 6 | ashey218: TIFU by over estimating my bladder before the most important exam of my life.
For context I am a year 12 student in the UK doing my GCSE exams,I am going to have to do six exams over the course of this month, five of which i am not worried about, but the one and only exam I was worrying about was today
Due to the exams being cancelled last year this exam is counting as sixty percent of my final grade which is double than the normal amount also due to covid I had an entire years worth of notes to learn in just under six months during which my teacher also caught Corona and was isolated for two weeks just to add one more fuck you.
My usual pre exam ritual is to have some poached eggs for breakfast then go sit in the local forest and drink two small red-bull as i listen to music to relax before heading into School and meeting my friends doing the same exam my exam.
However this morning I woke up already feeling like shit because the only exam I absolutely could not fail was later that afternoon so I decided to make myself a bowl of ramen for breakfast (with extra broth because that's the best part) as that's and my go to when I'm down and always makes me feel better, I then decided to have a cup of tea after my ramen because why not.
I then continued with my pre-exam routine and stopped by the store to buy my red-bull, which they had freshly run out off so Instead I did the perfectly reasonable thing and bought myself two large monsters and a third for my friend who was also taking the exam. Completely forgetting that a monster is double the amount of liquid than a red-bull.
I then went to the nearby forest to sit and listen to music as I drank my two monsters, still not remembering that one monster = two red-bull
Once I got into school I met up with my friends when I found out that the friend I had bought the third monster for didn't actually want it and none of my other friends like energy drinks so I decided that I was going to just sink it so it wouldn't need to be thrown out before the exam.
So just to recap as I head into the most important exam of my life I now have had a bowl of ramen broth, a cup of tea, and a liter and a half of monster but being the idiot I am I never even thought of going to the toilet
Once the exam had started I was actually feeling really good for the first half all the questions were on the subjects I knew the best, I was flying through feeling on top of the world.
But this didn't last long as soon as I got to the half way point I hit the first bump in the road, the question I was dreading the most came up but I persevered and got past it making my way to the next one when just as I thought it couldn't get any worse I felt the most agonising pain in my bladder to the point of actually winding me.
When I say I've NEVER needed the toilet more in my life I am not exaggerating at all. So I clenched every muscle in my lower body and hoped my pelvic floor wouldn't burst
At this point My only choice was to push through the exam finish as quickly as possible then leave early once I was finished with my exam, the one problem with this plan being that any time I turned my mind to the exam questions my body would let go of its death grip and I would feel a new fresh verse of nature's call.
It was a long and arduous battle but eventually I finished the test with half an hour left and put my hand up to call over the examiner
When she finally came over to me I remained polite and simply asked "I have finished my exam may I pack up and leave early?" Assuming like every other reasonable person she would see my desperation and let me leave as
She replied to me "nobody is allowed to leave the exam hall"
I continued to explain that it was an emergency and that I was finished my exam
She just said "cross your legs then" and walked away leaving me devastated
The next half hour was complete HELL but it eventually ended and I left as quick as my legs would carry me away.
TL;DR I drank a liter and a half of monster just before an exam that I wasn't allowed to leave and was then surprised when I couldn't leave.
Fit_Ad_7681: This reminds me of something I did in college, maybe I'll put a post together later. Long story short, made a bad decision for food the night before and almost shit myself during a big exam.
ashey218: I'm glad someone else feels my pain lol
Fit_Ad_7681: Oh, it was painful. Now I feel obligated to post this story, so look out for it later tonight.
ashey218: I'll keep an eye out for it later
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1654554073 | 1654556386 | t3_v6fcga | t5_2to41 | 22 | jamesuss: TIFU by leaving my wallet at work
Obligatory: this actually happened last Friday.
I was getting off of work early so naturally I left in a good mood. All was going well and traffic was unbelievably light for 3:30pm in the DFW area. I decided that since I was in such a good mood, I'd stop and get some CBD products for my wife that I thought she might like to try.
I grabbed her some Delta 8 herbs as a little bit of an extra treat. It was at the register and that's when I realized I had no damn wallet. In a bit of a panic, I paid with my phone and decided I had to head back to work ASAP. The ASAP part is where I messed up.
I like to think I'm a good driver maybe not though. As I was approaching a turn around on 121, I somehow misjudged, well, I don't know what I misjudged. All I know is I rear ended some poor woman. My front passenger side collided with her rear driver's side.
We pulled off the road and began exchanging info. Out of nowhere, two cop cars pulled up. No problem, nothing illegal happened here. However, one of the police officers didn't like that I was pretty emotional about the whole thing. He pulled me to the side and said I was "acting erratic". I had to do a sobriety test in front of God and everyone. I passed without issue, but then he asked if he could look in my car. Sure, no problem!
Yep, first thing he finds is a big jar of what looks like marijuana. Miraculously, he and his partner didn't use it as an excuse to make an arrest. In fact, his exact words were, "well, you aren't going to jail today."
Today we found out our car is being totaled. Great.
TLDR: forgot my wallet at work, didn't find out until after buying some hemp flower, and managed to get in a wreck. The police thought I was drunk or high. Car is now totaled.
Natsurulite: Don’t smoke delta 8 flower OP, it’s hotdog water boof
Buy distillate instead
jamesuss: She has an herb vaporizer. I really got it more for the novelty than anything else.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1654554970 | 1654564014 | t3_v6fo7l | t5_2to41 | 2 | Hottakechristian: TIFU by watching a video about a pastor confessing to adultery
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Rob_AMG: Are you referring to the pastor who admitted to committing adultery but in fact groomed and raped an underaged girl? Because that's something else entirely.
Junior-Frosting-9485: Not defending him but she wasn’t technically underage, she was 16 and the state he was in 16 was the age of consent
Rob_AMG: He was in a position of authority and used that position to take advantage of a young girl. For not defending him, you sure are defending him a lot.
Junior-Frosting-9485: How is pointing out state laws defending him? Oh that’s right, because it makes part of your statement factual incorrect, hate me because I’m not following the emotionally driven hate train, now I dislike him just as much as the next guy but I’m not gonna make up lies to vilify him more than he already is.
Rob_AMG: He was 38 and she was 16. He groomed her. That's illegal.
Junior-Frosting-9485: I literally just said I’m not denying he groomed her, your just arguing to argue
| 7 | 0.285714 | |
1654554905 | 1654564963 | t3_v6fndd | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by not realizing my air conditioner was broken for a month
[deleted]
builtbybama_rolltide: We live in Tennessee. Fortunately, I spent so much time in Alaska as soon as it hits 70 I’m ready for AC. Ours went out the Wednesday before Easter when it was nearly 90 outside. Got a new one installed on Good Friday.
Chrisbee012: fuck the tide rollwinter right?
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1654555204 | 1654555944 | t3_v6fr86 | t5_2to41 | 11 | aurel4820: TIFU (may have FU’d) by telling my ex gf how much it hurts not to hear from her
Reconnected with my ex-gf after 8+ years earlier this year. We ended things in high school due to her moving out of state and things just didn’t feel right after a while. We both agreed it was the best and that it wasn’t a bad breakup.
Shortly after our first message exchange, we spoke and decided to see if we could try again. We continued talking for roughly a month. I perceived her reaching out first as much as I did and her asking me genuine questions, probing ones at that, as her being genuinely interested in continuing things.
Near a little over a month mark, she started to get busy. I told her I would going on my way, and she said it made her sad. My reaction was tame, but clearly indicated I was annoyed. We stopped talking for a few weeks. I tried to reach out a few times to check up, but nothing.
She eventually, to my surprise, reaches out on my birthday with a message saying I’ve been on her mind. We talk on the phone that night, and I told her how bad it felt not to hear from her. She explained her situation and how she needed alone time which is very understandable given her work schedule. That night we talk about other things that made me feel cared for and loved, even without having to say it.
We continue texting and had a few talks on the phone occasionally after that day. She even made a clear effort to communicate more with me. Now, she hasn’t text me anymore again. Given how anxious I am, I feel like I’ve done something wrong. Being honest, I was less upbeat with her after my birthday because I was afraid. I already started to accept she was gone, but she came back, made me feel cared for and left again.
I definitely think I could have done better in certain places. This may also come off as naive to some. I understand people like to think there may be someone else and she’s not just “busy”. That’s definitely a possibility.
The part where I feel I fucked up is me telling her that it hurts not to hear from her. It feels like her having known that means that she is purposefully hurting me right now for something I may have done. Of course, I understand she could be in a coma or had some very bad situation happen, so I don’t know.
This is biased and I don’t intend to hide anything. If I should clarify, I’m open to it.
Tl:dr: Opened up to ex-gf and I feel like it’s being used against me.
4lmightyyy: I think you shouldn't blame yourself at all for how you behaved in what you wrote. Imho there are two options, she is not sure if she wants to continue with you, and while that's on her mind she doesn't really care enough to keep contact (reads like she ghosts you a lot). Or she is playing some serious games with you. As always, communication is key, and if she is not responsive to your needs or feelings she is simply not the right one
aurel4820: Thank you for the kind words. I’m slowly accepting she’s not the one. I don’t think I would be able to handle this long term.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1654556172 | 1654559348 | t3_v6g3b4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | animekyarakuta: TIFU by bringing my girlfriend home.
It seems kinda dumb when you read the title , but it was a real fuck up. And it was also my fault , I knew of the possible consequences because my family isn't the best.
Me (15M) and my gf (15F) started dating little time ago (1-2 months) , we thought it would be a good idea to go to each other's home and show ourselves. I didn't want her to meet my family because I don't like my family , so we went to her house first , the ay after to mine. In her house everything went well , just like they combined this before I went there.
Well , when we went to my house after the school the problem came. As it's the first time they ever see me with a girl they went crazy. Especially with that auntie shit ("ohhhh , your girlfriend is so cute") before you even say she really is your girlfriend because every single girl you meet is automatically your girlfriend , even a kid. The dinner went well , the normal questions and all , they laughed (yeah , drunkards laugh at everything) , she was pretty happy with the environment and it truly went well. Everything after that was bad or shit.
We took a shower and then everyone went to a bar or something because it's some match of a team they like to watch. The house completely for us. We did our things to prepare the bed before sleeping , stayed together playing videogames , watching series and anime and listening to music. After that , we were going to have sex(ophone) because everyone was out... Until we started to do it. We had some minutes , but they're too fast and came home before we could finish it. The problem is: as there were more people in the house (aunt and uncle) they were going to use my bedroom , so we had to use the living room... Meaning we got caught on the exact moment they opened the door. After that they almost killed us psychologically. It was so much that we even ran away and stayed at a random restaurant until the time they usually sleep.
TL;DR - I brought my girlfriend home , everything went well until my family went to a (I think) soccer match and returned , catching me having sex with her at the living room. Then they *TaUgHt Us A lEsSoN* and me made us go to a random restaurant to wait they sleep to go back home.
N3CRO-LAN: You really did fuck up , and i dont think your family is to blame ....like if you figured theyd be out for that long then why did you put sex on the backend of that long to do list of yours ? And an even better question ...why have sex in the first place when you know damn well that you dont have a private room for you to have sex in , in the first place ? Like cmon you cant blame your family for walking in on you having sex in the middle of the living room and flipping out.
animekyarakuta: >why did you put sex on the backend of that long to do list of yours
It wasn't on the plans , but we ended up doing it , nothin planned.
>why have sex in the first place when you know damn well that you dont have a private room
Because they said "we are going to go back 12 PM" , but they came back before 10 PM.
>family for walking in on you having sex in the middle of the living room and flipping out.
That's why I said TIFU , it's not their fault. But they really shouldn't go that far when "teaching us a lesson".
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1654556679 | 1654642595 | t3_v6g9p5 | t5_2to41 | 15 | overwhelmed_whale: TIFU by making my mom cry
ps: typing on phone so ignore any minor mistakes please and thank you
I’m currently sitting on my bed, unsure of what to do with myself. I’m sure I’ve made my mom cry before but I’ve never witnessed it and it’s breaking my heart. I, (F18) am a senior in highschool and am currently in the IB (international baccalaureate) curriculum, ifykyk. Lets start off with the fact that ive never been an exemplary student of any sort, pretty average marks, never failed a class but have sometimes come close. It’s currently finals week and I have an arabic test tomorrow. Arabic is the only subject that my mom is genuinely better at than me, but she somewhat understands that I have my difficulties with the subject. Today, I told her i studied for 4 hrs straight (in reality I probably only studied for about 30 minutes). She proceeds to bring me into her room and ask me what I’ve done to study for the test. I tell her that I’ve completed a multitude of past papers and questions, etc. (obviously all lies). We get into a heated argument and she starts with the same bs she always does “why are you throwing away your future” “why do you aim for average marks when you can get the full mark” and more. Ive heard all of this before so i did what i always do, gave her a pokerface and tried not to argue with her by replying coldly. She screams at me some more and then my dad comes in, intervenes, tells me to get out of his sight and so i do. However, something new happened today. Not 30 seconds pass and he comes to my room and tells me to follow him. There, in my moms room, is my mom in a fetal position sobbing so hard she cant breathe. I just stood there kind of in shock. I tried to pat her back but she started shushinh me away and attempted to push me away. I never meant to make her cry. I didnt know what to do and so my dad kicked me out. Someone please tell me that I’m not the shittiest person on earth because honestly thats what i feel like.
TLDR: mom and i got into an argument, witnessed her crying for the first time, dk how to deal with it.
Natsurulite: You’re not the shittiest person in the world, it sounds like your parents are a bit delusional as to how the world actually works and what people care about
FreeOffbrandTherapy: You actually lose control of your bowels as you get older more often. It's why old people say never to trust a fart, incase it's a shit. Because they somehow have forgotten it's not normal to shit themselves. So they are probably quite literally shittier people.
Those tears might wash the shit off if the mother is lucky.
| 3 | 5 | |
1654557300 | 1654564742 | t3_v6gh5w | t5_2to41 | 67 | imperfect_pringles: tifu by trying to pay for sex
Ok so this happened yesterday. Ive been talking to a girl for a month now with no real conviction so I've been getting somewhat detached from the relationship. We haven't even gone on our first date yet! Granted she lives a little over an hour away so to some degree I understand but at the same time it's hard to keep interest. We've talked about hanging out multiple times but between schedules and things popping up we haven't been able to see eachother. So my first fuck up, I fire up my old tinder account again. I'm scrolling through and then I see my Snapchat notification pop off from a Lisa Stewart. I look at it and she just says "hello I saw you from tinder". I come to find out she sells nudes and she will also come to your home to "hang out" for the right price. Fuck up no. 2- Loneliness and horniness got the best of me and I said sure. (There have been posts on here of other people with experience with this kind of stuff and they all said it was great). It was 50$ for a half hour, 100$ for an hour, 150$ for 2 hrs and 200$ for spending the night. At first I told her I'll do a half hour and then I can give her the rest if she shows up. She says no it's too late in the day to drive out there just for a half hour ( 8pm? Idk) and I was like yeah I guess that's kind of reasonable. She convinces me to send the full 200$ up front. I send her everything, shes sending me pics of herself and telling me she gives the best blowjobs yada yada and then I ask when she's on her way over. She says "well you have to talk to my manager and get it approved so she knows where I'm at". Ooookay? So I contact this manager. Manager asks who I'm hooking up with and where I live all that jazz. Manager then says "we need a 300$ deposit to make sure you don't hurt my client". Again I was like ooookay but I guess. Never having done this before I had no idea their process or whatever. Manager says, "as long as my client comes back in good shape you'll get your money back". Ok sweet. Manager then says "are you going to hurt her?" I said absolutely not I swear. Manager says "let's do another 200$ deposit so I know for sure." At this point I'm thinking "wooow I got absolutely fuckin played out and now they're trying to suck every last penny they can outta my bitch ass." So I tell them like wtf is going on Ive put 500$ in to this and now y'all want more? So at this point I'm messaging both of these fuckers simultaneously it seems like and Lisa is saying "babe just do it I'm literally in the car waiting to go over there". I fucking pop off I call them both some crooked ass mother fuckers and I demanded a refund. Which Lisa said she will but I still haven't seen it.
TL:DR tried to buy sex from online girl out of sheer lonely horniness and lost 500$
nowhereman1223: Reverse the charge on your CC.
lifesurferdude: You mean cancel the credit card
nowhereman1223: Reverse the charges first.
If you cancel it and then try to reverse it gets sketchy with banks as they want to know why and push more about what you did with it.
lifesurferdude: Lol. “I was paying for an escort and she never showed!”
Maybe he paid via Venmo or PayPal. What kinda escort takes credit card?? It would leave a paper trail
nowhereman1223: Scammers.
The kind like he dealt with that have no intention of showing up.
| 6 | 11.166667 | |
1654558552 | 1654642094 | t3_v6gwhd | t5_2to41 | 4 | Silent_Fan2254: TIFU by flashing the plumber
So this happened yesterday. I am usually a heavy sleeper once I get into REM sleep. Like nothing can wake me up aside from physical force usually. My bf and I have been having issues with our downstairs toilet for a week. We contacted the leasing office and I was told yesterday at noon that someone would be out but it would Friday since they were really busy. I work 3rd shift and had work at 7 so I went to sleep. Apparently there was an open spot yesterday for the plumber so they came over. I didn’t hear them knocking and the leasing office let them into my apartment. While they were working on my toilet they heard one of the 20-30 alarms I have set upstairs and came to investigate and yelled when they saw someone was home and in bed and shocked me awake. I do sleep naked and when they woke me up I jumped out of bed naked as a jay bird and flashed everything before grabbed my blanket and told them to leave. They are back today to work on the lines and they can’t even look at me and I can’t look at them. I’m so embarrassed and glad I’m leaving once my lease is up soon so I don’t have to face these guys with any future issues.
TL;DR:My plumbers let themselves into my place when I didn't answer the door because I was asleep and I flashed them when they woke me up
pineapplebaron: Are you in the US? Depending on what state you live in, the leasing office/management might have done something illegal by allowing the plumber in like that.
I’m not a lawyer and again it depends on what state you’re in, but in California they’re legally required to give two days notice unless it’s an emergency. So, “a spot opened up early and we let them in without notice” would probably be an issue.
Either way, sorry that happened. Illegal or not, that wasn’t right. And really it’s their fuckup, not yours. All you did was be in the privacy of your home.
MoTheSoleSeller: I mean if you were a plumber and suddenly heard an alarm while working on something, wouldn't you investigate? It would almost be irresponsible not to
pineapplebaron: I mean entering the unit, not any particular room
| 4 | 1 | |
1654557563 | 1654593530 | t3_v6gkhl | t5_2to41 | 16 | ExtremelyLoew172: TIFU by benching after I went to the bathroom
Happened like an hour ago help
So, while I live out in practically the middle of nowhere there's a nearby town about 10-15 minutes away that has a rec center and is where I go to school as well. The rec is pretty small because its on the second floor of a small bank and is where everyone in town goes to workout. Since the summer started I have been trying to go to the rec atleast 4 times a week, maybe 5 (though thats rare) and I usually hit that goal.
So the actual fuck up happened cause I was doing bench right after I had went to the bathroom to pee, and I guess apparently if you apply too much pressure while working out after you had peed, some pee might leak out, (not exactly what I read but you get the idea) and that is exactly what happened. In the rec was a few adult men, all muscle-ly of course, and an older woman. I had just got done with a thing of bench so I took a small break and went to the bathroom, peed and it was done. Thought I had gotten it all out, washed my hands and went back out to do another thing of bench, laid on my back, did 2 reps, and I suddenly feel some liquid dripping down my leg, so I rack the bar and I look down and all I see is some pee dripping down my leg and some that had dripped onto the floor. I guess one of the guys in there knew what was going on, so he grabbed some paper towels and gave them to me, I wiped the piss of the floor then promptly went to the bathroom to clean my leg then grabbed my keys and drove home with my head down.
TLDR; Went to the bathroom to pee, benched after doing so and pissed myself infront of abunch of people.
hashbang2: Stand on your tippy-toes when you pee. It will elongate your blater and empty it more completely.
AcrobaticSource3: That might work for guys, but what do women do?
lemonpringle: Stand when you pee. Go on tippy toes
| 4 | 4 | |
1654561338 | 1654564822 | t3_v6ht9c | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing pink to a job interview
[removed]
MuskyLion: What sort of job was this? Why in God's holy name did they want you to take off your shirt?
ValPrism: Because it was $3 which means it’s too big so you can’t take it off without baring breasts! My god man, can’t you read!?!?!?
MuskyLion: I humbly apologize!
| 4 | 8.5 | |
1654561773 | 1654563709 | t3_v6hy3e | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my moms friend/neighbor
[deleted]
Comet7777: Your level of anxiety over all of this is unfounded dude
burner1852: u don’t have my parents. i’m literally moving out to have some security
Comet7777: Think it through, they find out - what’s the worst that happens? And honestly hiding it from your gf isn’t super wise either. Full transparency is usually a good policy.
burner1852: i’ll have an extremely uncomfortable living situation to which i’d probs have to move out? that’s what i’m worried about. i don’t wanna look like a man hoar either. that’s why i haven’t told her
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1654562063 | 1654683603 | t3_v6i1d0 | t5_2to41 | 17 | bjpmbw: TIFU by blowing an airhorn as a prank at a coworker at the end of a medical emergency
So I work at an elementary school, and the people who work in my office are very cool. One of the secretaries and I have had a prank thing where we like to scare each other with loud noises. It’s just an ongoing funny thing we do. Usually we just yell each other’s name, or maybe we yell “good morning” or something, and try to get the person to jump.
Recently I was in a dollar store and I saw these party airhorns. They were only two dollars, and they were very very small. I really didn’t think that they could even be that loud. I mean I’ve actually heard the type used on a boat and I know those are insane, but this was like 1/3 of the size of one of those. So I bought one.
So it’s the last day of school, I’m full of energy, and I run down to the office. My coworker and a group of teachers are all sitting around and I point the air horn towards my coworker and then it goes off, incredibly loud, hurting everyone’s ears. Honestly, it was like 10 times louder than I expected it to be.
People are now visibly upset at me, like really upset, asking me what the hell was I thinking, some people look like they’re about to cry. One person kind of yelled at me and stormed off.
When the office clears out it is then I find out that there has just been a medical emergency. One of the staff people had actually been bleeding on to the floor, and been picked up by ambulance. The coworker I share the pranking with told me the staff person might’ve actually just had a miscarriage.
Usually I know what’s going on at the school, especially if there’s an emergency. But I had just been on an important call in a different section of the school, so I had no idea. I apologized profusely, but nobody wanted to hear it.
TL; Dr. Trying to be funny, I blew an airhorn at a coworker while she was dealing with a medical emergency where another coworker may have had a miscarriage
FreeOffbrandTherapy: Would of been funny if it then caused one of the people in the room to have a miscarriage.
Everyone knows one miscarriage is never funny.
Most people are never fortunate enough to experience two miscarriages in such rapid succession that they then become funny.
But it happens.
* *Slips over like Charlie Chaplin would on a banana skin, but instead on a pool of menstruational blood and bits of maybe-baby gravy* *
bjpmbw: I’m speechless.. and I still can’t hear from the horn
FreeOffbrandTherapy: It might be the perfect time for you to consider *"ear sex"*
I *hear* it's a good time ;D
Bah dum dum dsssh
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1654562546 | 1654606919 | t3_v6i6z7 | t5_2to41 | 159 | rafaelmarques7: TIFU by saying I never met a Jewish person.
So, please tell me if I did anything wrong.
I matched with a girl on tinder, and we started chatting. At some point I noticed her bio said “EN/HE”, so I asked her was the HE stand for, as I didn’t know.
She replied it stands for Hebrew.
To which I then replied:
“Oh cool.
I didn’t know that.
I don’t have any Jewish friends.
Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever met a Jewish person”.
Now, she replies in a very agressive tone asking why I was assuming she was Jewish, etc etc. I said that was my mistake, I shouldn’t have assumed, and then I joked a bit saying that if I was a nerd (which I am) I would say that statistically it’s likely that she’s Jewish, but that I am not a nerd, so ignore the last message.
To which she continued to reply aggressively, shortly followed by an unmatch.
Now, please tell me, did I do or say anything Offensive?
And please notice that I quoted exactly what I said. I didn’t say she was Jewish, I said I never met a Jewish person. After that I did joke about how statistically it was likely she was Jewish, but that was after she started to reply aggressively.
I really wish I had taken a screenshot, but she blocked me while I was still typing!
Now, if i was offensive, and if I did offend you in any way, I do apologise for that. If I was offensive in any way, I didn’t know better. And if I was, hopefully this post will show me how, and I can learn.
But I also want to say: if she really was offended, IMO she shouldn’t have been agressive and unmatched. Instead, she should have explained to me in which way I was offensive, so I can learn and not make that mistake again. Ignorance is not cured by aggressiveness.
TLDR: girl on tinder said she spoke Hebrew, I said (cool and) I never met a Jewish person, she got offended and unmatched me.
Eskaminagaga: I would have made the same assumption. I don't know why she considers it offensive to be called Jewish. Tbh, you probably dodged a bullet there.
rafaelmarques7: Yeah, afterwards that’s what I thought to. But it sucks man, sometimes you’re just trying to have a conversation with someone you just met and know nothing about, and they rage over the craziest things.
Oh well, Better luck next time I guess.
thescrounger: Just out of curiosity, how do you know you never met a Jewish person. Do you think you can tell by looking at them?
rafaelmarques7: The comment below is right. I meant that I don’t personally know anyone Jewish, and as far as I can tell, I’ve never personally met anyone Jewish (that is, I’ve never talked with someone who I knew for a fact was Jewish)
thescrounger: Yeah, I would probably steer clear of describing it the first way, as it could be misinterpreted. The sentence in your parenthetical is perhaps better -- that no one has told you for a fact that they are Jewish.
... but that online interaction was indeed strange.
| 6 | 26.5 | |
1654562922 | 1654596495 | t3_v6ib7c | t5_2to41 | 61 | Fit_Ad_7681: TIFU: I almost failed my physics final because of a sandwich
Obligatory this happened about 5.5 yrs ago when I was a sophomore in college (god I'm getting old). Additionally, first time posting here, so go easy on me.
So towards the end of my fall semester, it was everyone's favorite time, finals week. I had the same physics class as a bunch of my friends, so we all decided to get together and have a study session before the big Physics II final. The night was going pretty good, we were getting through the material and I think most of us were getting it.
As most will know, when you are studying for hours, eventually you need a break. Well, we all decided we were getting hungry, and thus began the discussion of what to do. Where we were living, there was a pizza place right next door with good food, so we all decided to go there. Before we left, one of my friends mentioned this sandwich that sounded pretty good and I decided that's what I would get. The name of this monstrosity was "Fat Italian" and it consisted of chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, fries, steak (like from a steak sandwich), and it was all topped off with a cheddar cheese sauce. For some reason I think there was something else on it, but I can't remember since I never ordered it again (for reasons you will soon find out).
Fast forward to the next morning, my exam is at 8am and is scheduled for 2 hours. When I got out of bed, I felt fine, aside from the lack of sleep since, you know, studying. I got to the exam, sat down, and started working on it. Everything was going fine until about 30 - 45 minutes in, I get that dreaded feeling. I initially thought, I can work through this, but after a few more minutes I realized that it wasn't possible. Thank god my professor was nice enough to let me get up to leave because what would have ended up happening would have required a class I took a year later to understand how to handle the situation (I'm a civil engineer who deals with primarily sewage, use your imagination). I shuffled my way to the restroom as quickly as I could and unleashed holy fury on that poor toilet. The best way to describe it would be that a fire hose couldn't produce that kind of force if it tried. To this day, whenever I have something important the next day, I avoid heavy foods for fear of a repeat. I'm just glad that my professor was nice enough to let me leave without having to turn in my incomplete exam.
In case anyone is curious, I got a 4.0 on the exam which I really didn't think I'd do.
tl:dr - I ate a giant sandwich which consisted of nothing but fried food and cheese and almost committed a crime against nature during my Physics II exam.
PS - This pizza place also had an appetizer called the "College Kid Heart Attack" which was cheese fries with boneless wings on top. That was pretty tasty and helped contribute to the ridiculous amount of weight I put on in college.
getoutsidemr: Just demonstrating how gravity works.
Fit_Ad_7681: I think that may have been a lesson in fluid mechanics too. That was definitely turbulent flow.
Yriel: This place isn't by chance just down the road from and in and out is it?
Fit_Ad_7681: No, where I went to college, there are no in and outs.
| 5 | 12.2 | |
1654563314 | 1654631435 | t3_v6ifof | t5_2to41 | 7,966 | Shrekthrowaway59688: TIFU by playing Allstar
[removed]
Lyran99: My girlfriend’s cumming and she don’t stop cumming
WastingTimeIGuess: So much to do, so much to see!
So what’s wrong with taking the back street?
masstransience: You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.
BmMjO: Hey now, you're a porn star.
Inuyasha-rules: Get the show on, get laid.
TekHead: Hey now, you're a cock star
YeettheFockers: Get the show on, get paid.
SargTeaPot: All these showers are golden
Yilsa_Sim: Only the chocolate star is the way to go-o
Bowman_van_Oort: It's a loose place but they say it gets looser
-rustle: Shrek's r18, wait till you get older
maxwellwood: But the milk man here begs to differ
SnackPack_848: Judging by the gape of your step sister.
maxwellwood: The ass we skeet, is getting pretty grim
YeettheFockers: The brown water’s warm, so you might as well swim
maxwellwood: My dick's on fire, I blame whores.
But cheap is how I like it so I'll never pay more
| 17 | 468.588235 | |
1654566547 | 1654567224 | t3_v6jhay | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU
[deleted]
BriRun1: I’ve been eating edibles for many years and I never experienced a high like that. Good luck with your “recovery”.
Filthy_Kate: That’s because you’re smart!
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1654567857 | 1654569604 | t3_v6jwu2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with a friend's Goddaughter
[deleted]
MuskyLion: Congratulations on sexually harassing your former lady friend! It could've been an Alaskan king bed and your actions still would've been FUBAR. And don't lump us in with you as far as being able to control our sexual urges, man.
Unpopular_Cobra: Fair enough. I guess I should have mentioned that we went into another room. We didn't do it right next to her. I also didn't start it. I feel like crap about it, we both made a mistake and I'll take the punishment here.
MuskyLion: Oh that's an important fact, but the "I wanted her to know" aspect is still pretty bad.
| 4 | 2 | |
1654568201 | 1654572542 | t3_v6k0z4 | t5_2to41 | 32 | soyaoiyaktskgsmgsmv: TIFU by saving my Reddit password
[removed]
gfunk84: Why would you have a “family” iCloud account when Apple supports up to 6 people in a family sharing purchases etc. while maintaining their own separate accounts?
soyaoiyaktskgsmgsmv: I don’t know
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1654573440 | 1654638682 | t3_v6lnw7 | t5_2to41 | 23 | djekp: TIFU by getting baked at a family dinner and slapping my wife's sister's ass
Buckle up, this ones a doozy. I'm so fucking screwed and this sucks so damn much. I will omit much personally identifying information for the sake of those involved.
Also using a throwaway for obvious reasons.
It all started last night when my wife's immediate family (which is only her sister and her parents) visited us for dinner in our newly leased home. (I should note that even though the sisters are not very similar in facial appearance they are similar height and both have the same color and style of hair. Also she is 2 years older than my wife.)
It was sort of a house introduction, but it also worked out perfectly since we were all scheduled to be in town that day (her sister travels a lot for business purposes), and we thought it would be nice to eat dinner together.
The only problem is that I completely fucking forgot (despite my wife's reminders) and so I decided to take advantage of my edibles stash on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Not only that, I took fucking 60 mg thinking each gummy had 5 not 10. I had just gotten a new kind to try and was unaware of the different dosage.
Not 10 minutes afterward, I hear a knock at the door, and I immediately remember the dinner. I run to door and greet them, while my wife is touching up the kitchen. At this point she knew nothing of the forgetfulness and edibles.
We say our hellos and they set the lasagna down (our local pasta shop sells whole lasagnas freshly cooked and we thought this would be a nice meal to share). After our hellos are said and a house tour is given, we sit down to eat and I start feeling the effects of the edibles. I try to avoid any eye contact, and try to get up as often as possible for things like napkins and water.
Pretty quickly though I realize it's gonna get very messy very soon, and make up a story about what a terrible headache I'm getting and that I must be having a bad reaction to the lasagna that they just bought (douche move, I know).
I let them know that I need to take a nap and apologize for the inconvenience, it was great to see you all, etc, etc.
My wife seems pretty pissed, as she walks me upstairs, but doesn't say much. The guests didn't seem to notice my stonedness much but in hindsight they probably were fully aware. At the time my coverup felt like such a genius plan though.
Once I'm in the clear, i took the best damn nap of my life. It was about 2 hours and I woke up feeling like heaven. I had completely forgotten about the guests, and thought that my wife and I should indulge in some fun.
So I walk downstairs and hear the water running. As I enter the kitchen through the main entrance my "wife" is standing at the sink with her back to me, and I sneak up behind her so as to surprise her. I then give her a solid smack and grab on the ass, to which her sister yelps out screaming and whips around to face me.
I swear to god, my soul left my body in that moment.
I turn to see my wife just staring at me from the other entryway (which was to the right of us) Everything from earlier was quickly remembered and I became as sober as a stone. No amount of THC would have kept me high in that moment.
I frantically attempted to explain to no avail. My wife's sister left promptly, and I was left to explain this shit to my wife. I've never seen someone more pissed.
It became clear that her parents had left and her sister stayed to talk and help do dishes/kitchen chores with my wife. My wife had left the kitchen to go to the bathroom when she thought she heard me coming down toward the kitchen, and turned around . So she saw the whole thing.
The whole damn thing.
Per her request I slept at a friends house last night and it's seeming like I will tonight as well. This fucking sucks so much. I just wish it wouldn't have happened. I have apologized profusely but I don't deserve an acceptance of it.
I understand every aspect of her frustration (she did nothing wrong) and so this is truly "Today I Fucked Up".
I know many people will think this is fake, and believe me I fucking wish it was. I'm trying to find humor in the mess that this is, so this is the reason for the at times light hearted commentary.
I'm so fucked.
tl;dr got baked at dinner with my wife's family, left for a nap part way through, woke up, slapped my wife's sister's ass, and got kicked out for two nights. How fucking great.
I will note: she is aware of my weed use and uses too, and it has never been a problem before. So substance abuse/tension was not a factor in her frustration in case anyone is concerned regarding this. Obviously she was pissed with the involvement of weed but only for the obvious reasons.
danzgeturmanz: Daymn bro you bouta have a rough couple months at least
djekp: Yeah. I wish I could fix this
FreeOffbrandTherapy: I sincerely hope you can't
Because you are too good for that kind of bs man
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1654573653 | 1654612001 | t3_v6lq52 | t5_2to41 | 108 | throwawaysofc: TIFU by using tampons wrong for 6+ months
just to preface i’m VERY VERY new to reddit. as in i made an account to do this confession bc i had nobody to tell. i apologize if i break any rules. so this was 2 days ago. i was using tampons because i worked up the courage to use them in december and haven’t gone back since. my girlfriend was at my house and i went to the bathroom and it was day two and she was VERY heavy. so i finally decide to pull out the big guns. the L tampon. i had been using “s” until that point. sometimes a “r”. i thought “s” was small, “r”was regular, and “l” was large. i was wrong. “s” is super. “r” is regular. “l” is light. so i put in a light tampon and expect it to work. i bleed through in 30-45 minutes. i was wearing some special underwear so when i went to the bathroom i noticed and changed it. so o had nobody to tell because my girlfriend and best friend are literally petrified of those things and would be even more scared to use them if i told them this story. so yea. i’m also on mobile so this is weird.
TL;DR i have been using tampons wrong for over six months because i didn’t understand the sizes
redbucket75: That's fucked up, why can't tampon companies afford a few extra letters to make this clear for their customers?
Anyway thanks for sharing, minor misunderstanding that you can laugh off!
Square-Platypus4029: If she's in the US the boxes definitely have the full words written out on them. They are sold by absorbency and not size and that's pretty clearly written on the box and in the directions.
philouza_stein: Not the variety pack. The sizes are on the box but a lot of people empty them out into another container. All you're left with are various tampons labeled by letter
| 4 | 27 | |
1654574391 | 1654586593 | t3_v6lxzt | t5_2to41 | 184 | spongelet: TIFU by consuming an energy drink
I like energy drinks and I'm no stranger to them. My caffeine addiction began in high school with Mountain Dew, the gateway drug to the caffeine world. I would have snorted it if I found that more effective, but no, it just kinda burns. I've done things I'm not proud of. I've added sugar to Jolt cola. I've mixed instant coffee into caffeinated water. Amused, yes, but not proud. This context matters for the rest of the story.
Since then, I've cut my habit to one (sugar free) energy drink in the morning with an occasional soda in the evening, but my caffeine tolerance is still considerable - I may finish the second half of my energy drink after a good nap, to give you an idea. This morning started out like any other, with a new drink from some brand I never heard of and a protein cookie. Both came from a monthly subscription box I enjoy for zero sugar energy drinks. The cookie was not good, but the energy drink was tasty.
Within 30-60 minutes of finishing, I felt nauseous. Hmm. Maybe that cookie isn't sitting well. I wrote it off and had plain white rice with plenty of water for lunch. It got worse. I started trembling and broke out in a cold sweat. I tried to dry my hands and just kept sweating. It was disgusting. I sat at the computer for hours flapping my hands every five minutes like a pathetic, flightless dinosaur bird with tiny wings, trying to dry my hands off. Maybe I was getting sick?
The trembling was severe and the nausea was so bad that I had nothing but water for several hours. I endured over eight hours of queasy trembling, sweating, and flapping before a tiny thought started tickling the distant reaches of my brain: didn't I try a new drink today? I looked at the can and googled it. "Redline Cognitive Candy is stronger than the original Redline and Redline Extreme." Sure, but they all say that. It's just marketing fluff. I try different brands all the time and drink a can a day so there's no way, right?
I kept reading. "Redline energy drinks are currently the second-most potent energy drinks available to consumers in the United States." I see. It's less potent by volume than 5-hour energy, but there's more of it in a can so it ends up stronger overall. Even better, the protein cookie I had alongside it was so dry that I basically slammed the entire thing in 20 minutes. It wasn't on a completely empty stomach, but that tiny protein cookie was a white picket fence vs the Redline tsunami. But that's old news. At this point, the restraints are locked in and I'm on this ride until it ends.
"Class Action Lawsuit Filed Over Redline Energy Drink. ... According to the Redline energy drink lawsuit, “persons who have consumed the Product have reported a range of adverse side effects, including, but not limited to, chills, excessive sweating, vomiting, convulsions, chest pains and rapid heartbeat.”" Wait, this lawsuit is from 2012. Didn't I just read that this new one is stronger than even the Extreme version? Side effects of caffeine overdose: trembling, anxiety, rapid heart beat. Well, this is a first.
The effects began to lessen very ... very ... *very* gradually. By the time I felt capable of eating, I was ravenous. It seemed only appropriate to have Taco Bell like a good little junkie. It was a bright spot in a sea of misery. Sweating: 10 hours. Nausea: 12 hours. Trembling: 16 hours. Anxiety: 30 years. That's probably unrelated.
I went to bed around 3am. I put my phone down at 5am. I picked my phone back up at 7:30am and browsed r/energydrinks, then saw something I wanted and ordered it on Amazon because my intelligence is questionable. I put my phone down again and lied awake past my alarm. I turned it off and just lied there. Finally, around 11:30am, I entered a half-conscious trance like a Buddhist monk who's gone down a dark path in his life. I "slept" for maybe three hours and then got up and began my usual routine, with a pause for existential crisis upon opening the fridge and considering if I really wanted to do an energy drink today. If you have grasped my predilection for poor life decisions, you already know the answer to that question.
In the end, it took over 24 hours to come down from this unassuming little can. I'm both terrified and impressed. I don't know how much cocaine they put in it or why it's legal. If it did this to an overweight male with a high caffeine tolerance, I can't imagine what it does to women, children, persons sensitive to caffeine, the elderly, pets, or any living creature that doesn't recklessly ingest synthetic chemicals on a regular basis. I'm guessing it would either kill you or you would be able to see time.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going to order more.
TL;DR: new energy drink hits me harder than that time I was prescribed methylphenidate.
EDIT:
I appreciate everyone who has expressed concern for my health. You are very kind and caring people. I want to clarify that when I use the word addicted, I mean in the physical sense of getting a headache if I go without. This experience is TIFU for a reason. I was basically having a morning cup of coffee - of which I only ever have one cup - and then it escalated because I fucked up and didn't realize what exactly I was drinking. I'm okay now and I don't intend on repeating the experience. Thank you for the well wishes and the concern.
For those of you who have expressed interest in trying this, please be careful. I know I can't dissuade you, so at least take it slow and have some real food beforehand. Please learn from my experience. This is not your normal energy drink. I don't know what the hell it is, but it's NOT normal. If I saw it in stores, I'd expect it to come out of a triple walled cooler with dry ice fog effects. In a pinch, I could probably use it to start my car. But seriously, treat it like you'd treat a prescription drug, not an energy drink.
Inuyasha-rules: I'm in to try it, if I can find it in the full sugar variety. I can't have artificial sweeteners, and a lot of the new lines are only sugar free. Wish me luck everyone 🤣
spongelet: I'd have had the same reaction if I read this the day before yesterday. I also know there is nothing anyone could have said to convince me the reaction I had was even possible in something available without a prescription. I'm so sorry.
As far as I can tell, there is no sugared version of the new cognitive candy version that I had, and that is for the best. They're doing you a favor.
Inuyasha-rules: Your probably right, my tolerance has dropped since I stopped drinking 3 or 4 of the monster BFCs a day. But man what a rush...
spongelet: If that's a rush, this is more like a bad trip from taking too many mushrooms. ...or so I hear. I've never actually done mushrooms. This is probably the hardest drug I've ever done. Then again, that might be true even if I had done mushrooms.
| 5 | 36.8 | |
1654577137 | 1654579922 | t3_v6mqhr | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by posting a TIFU
[deleted]
HyperCasualListener: Hopefully she doesn’t see this post?
No_Advantage_8335: Oh my gosh.
Hi sis, if you see this, I love you ❤️ and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. Hopefully you only learn the good things from me, maybe take some lessons from from my mistakes and don’t repeat them.
My_Cat_Louie: Honey, this is why people make throwaway accounts. Delete this and set one up for future TIFU and embarrassing posts.
And don't tell her it was your post because she won't keep it a secret.
Lastly, damn yo, your love life is a joke. Harsh. But funny.
No_Advantage_8335: Good idea!
| 5 | 3 | |
1654578470 | 1654579223 | t3_v6n44a | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by interacting with a homeless crackhead and almost getting jumped(?)
[deleted]
MuskyLion: A group of 5 or 6 crackheads is a formidable opponent.
PresentExtension7453: That is true but hear me out…I can prolly outrun them. Realistically none of them have good legs
MuskyLion: Yeah, but they got that $20 off you.
PresentExtension7453: That is true but also….you right i got bitched
| 5 | 0 | |
1654579862 | 1654585926 | t3_v6nhwo | t5_2to41 | 49 | NotThisAgain-10: TIFU By Getting Fired From A Job I Just Started
TIFU By getting fired from a sales job I just started on May 26. I was suspect from the beginning because I wasn’t offered a contract right away until I pressed for something in writing and got it. I was not going to share personal data until I received something writing. I delivered some cars and vans for the first two days and the worked the Memorial Day weekend with no desk, computer or login credentials. Last Tuesday I was back to delivering a car and finally late that afternoon went through some more legal paperwork. Wednesday, I was off and Thursday I was finally given enough credentials to finally have access to the obligatory online training.(which I completed all 21 modules and quizzes today). Then I delivered a van and got back to dealership and helped until close when I was terminated for the reason of “being under thirty days”. No drugs or alcohol, no altercations, nothing, not even a curse word.
I’ve never been fired before the first paycheck before! Kind of hard to do a job with no tools.
TLDR; got fired for doing nothing wrong other than not trusting my instincts. Oh well, I hate long goodbyes anyway.;-)
ttystikk: Someone else fucked up, not you.
NotThisAgain-10: Tell that to my wife. Oh I fucked up alright, I didn’t do anything wrong but it’s still my fault. I got jobbed but I guess I let it happen. I’m likely older than most here so let it be a tale of advice. Trust your instincts. I honestly did wake up this morning figuring I’d be fired today but I went in anyway just make them do it.;-) The one manager said, “The owner thinks you won’t do a good job” to which I replied, “That’s interesting seeing as how I never even got to meet him.”.
They needed a short term delivery guy and not a sales rep. Pretty dirty pool but that was a cheap way to do it. It’s legal, low class but legal.
ttystikk: Yeah, it's a shitty way to treat people.
Keep your head up, good people are always in demand.
NotThisAgain-10: Thanks my friend.
| 5 | 9.8 | |
1654581356 | 1654585446 | t3_v6nvwb | t5_2to41 | 8 | drpeppermistake: TIFU having an IT issue
I work for a very large company, in an engineering role. I logged onto my work PC yesterday morning when I got into work.
I noticed all my desktop files were missing and I kept getting a notification that my PC was quarantined from syncing to the system. I did update my password last week and I think I noticed the problem but didn’t think too much of it.
I shared my screen with the IT guy and he took control and was helping me work out the issue. When he clicked on the Recycle Bin to see if my files were there, I see a pdf called Tits vs Porny. My friend had sent me a bad fanfiction a few months ago and I had accidentally downloaded into onto my work onedrive from my phone. I had deleted it straight away but now I’m panicking this IT guy is going to report me and I’ll lose my job.
It was so embarrassing, I was in the office full of people so I felt like I couldn’t explain myself and I’m absolutely panicking now.
TL;DR I shared my screen with an IT guy and a document name Tits vs Porny was in my Recycle Bin
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: Save personal stuff for personal devices, work stuff for work devices. Want to check the weather? Go ahead. Anything which involves hooking up your personal accounts or other devices to a work pc is a big no no in most places.
The fuckup is probably less about the porn fan fiction, but more about why you were connecting another device anyway. You might be asked if you downloaded any work files as well, so be prepared to answer that just in case.
drpeppermistake: I do a lot of product testing and take photos on my phone, the quickest way to upload the photos is via onedrive on my phone. I’m not the only one who does it but sure now I’m regretting it.
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: Its not so bad if you have a legitimate reason to say you did X, Y and Z. But maybe ask for a work phone or camera.
BYOD is fine and all, but as long as everyone knows what is being used for what.
| 4 | 2 | |
1654584928 | 1654617344 | t3_v6ou36 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: tifu
[deleted]
slarti54: Who says proofreading is a dead skill.
throwaway123452324: i was high as a kite when i wrote this. im going to delete this one because i wrote a better version i actually proof read lmfaooo
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1654586242 | 1655133198 | t3_v6p6m2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | throwaway123452324: tifu but accidentally showing my coworker a dong print pic
so to put into perspective im guy and my coworker is also a dude. so i was trying to show him a video of a time where i was super lit like having fun basically. so i was looking through my snapchat memories, but it also happened to be my, my eyes only gallery. i very rarely save videos and picture there because i don’t know i just don’t. so i was scrolling through kinda fast trying to show him and i ended up landing on couple of dong pics but luckily they were just prints and not the actual dong and all it’s glory. i quickly glance and him because guys aren’t my thing and i know guys aren’t his his thing also, so it was super weird that i accidentally showed him that. so i quickly looked back at my phone and i’m also tilting my phone my way so i can privately look for it and shield him from the pics bc it was rather embarrassing but i eventually got over it because i know that there are other coworkers that are weirder and do weirder shit than me accidentally showing my coworker a dong print.
Tldr: tifu by showing my coworker a dong print pic while trying to show him a video of me having a good time
edit: had to go back and fix some grammar and autocorrect mistakes. this is also my first reddit post and i also wrote this while being super fried, so cut me some slack
VictoriaToo: I don’t know why you didn’t make a joke when that happened. ‘Oops.. didn’t mean to show you that much of me’.. if you’re both straight what’s the big deal?
throwaway123452324: i guess it was just in the heat of the moment and i really didn’t expect my dick to just pop up out of nowhere like that and scare us both.
FreeOffbrandTherapy: You flashed him bro it's illegal
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1654586751 | 1654612301 | t3_v6pbc8 | t5_2to41 | 9 | omkarislegend: TIFU for having a crush
TIFU So as a 16 year old i always liked a girl in my school
(for privacy reason no real name)
but things were going right
I almost told her about my feelings
But way back 3 years ago at the mid of the semester. I told my friend about ky feeling for her well friends are jerks u know
, he spreed that message in school.
Since then I she started avoiding me since April 2020 our school got lockdown but on 2022 march they got opened
.I asked my other jerk friend ,hey give me tips so I can get on a date with her that jerk friend told her too .
Her mother the another day come to the school and then
she talked to the principal
(I do not know what was it but yeah)
I was expelled the other day
what wrong had a done
she did not even told me she do not like me TL;DR
DapperInvestment467: I think you didn’t fuck up by telling friends. You only fucked up by choosing that “jerk friend”. But your teenage years are hard so these stupid kinds of things happen, so you can make better decisions in the rest of your life 😂
omkarislegend: Imagine been suspended for having a crush
DapperInvestment467: Yeah, obviously I don’t have all the information, but it’s really weird and hyperbolical 😂
omkarislegend: Live in India u will know ur parents may use a belt to beat u our parents do wwe then they take u to a local hospital
DapperInvestment467: Luckily I live in a country where child abuse is frowned upon 🙃
omkarislegend: Sad let me guess asia
DapperInvestment467: No, the Netherlands, that’s in west-Europe
| 8 | 1.125 | |
1654590004 | 1654594223 | t3_v6q3nh | t5_2to41 | 9 | Womenmean: TIFU by thinking women were worthy of respect
[removed]
ttystikk: Yup, heavy incel vibes.
No wonder you couldn't get laid with a paver.
EfficientHospital130: I'm getting major simp and white knighting vibes
.
Pondnymph: Ah, the impotent attempt at discouraging treating women like human beings. Those words only reveal your own ignorance.
EfficientHospital130: Well you have people trying to bully this guy. The Texas shooter was also bullied online. We need to start supporting men instead of being simps. I certainly hope that my fellow redditors don't turn this guy into some sort of shooter.
Pondnymph: No one is responsible for another's actions. Are men so incredibly bestial that they need constant coddling and supervision from women to function in society?
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1654590775 | 1654603756 | t3_v6qa5n | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my mom cry and slam her door because I said she loves my sister more than me and she’s a liar
I could be wrong but I think my parents prefer my younger sister (18F) to me. Full disclosure I have posted this on relationship advice but that thread never gets replies and I would truly like outside input.
I (20F) am not talented or a genius by any means. I say thsi because I want to preface that I don’t want huge accolades or appreciation for anything I do.
I go to a pretty meh college (27%) acceptance rate. But I got in on my own. My parents never ever read a single college essay of mine. They didn’t help any paperwork, they didn’t even know where I was applying but when I told them where I got in they were like can do better meh.
All My parents wanted me to go to an Ivy which I didn’t so they never once said they were proud of me. However, to be fair they do pay my tuition fully which is above 80000 a year. I’m aware it’s a big amount. They also pay nearly 10000 usd for me to fly home twice a year. I know it’s a lot! I also know that without their finances, I wouldn’t even be able to attend college. I am eternally grateful for it.
Anytime I accuse them of not being involved in my life they bring up the fact that they pay my tuition.
I want to be a writer which they don’t approve of and I received a fund to just write all summer (it’s not a lot it’s like 6000) and all my parents kinda said was hey congrats! I also got accepted to a writer’s workshop in Greece which I’m not going to. I also got accepted to another pretty prestigious writing institute which they said hey good job to. I was introduced to editors and agents at top publishing companies at parties and my parents never acknowledged it. I’m not expecting a huge party or congratulations and I know it’s not some great achievement but I kinda wish they cared more about my writing. When I was a child I skipped a grade so I had to repeat it in the ninth grade because I was 12 in the ninth grade and it was too much for me because everyone was 14-15 and wouldn’t stop talking about sex and drugs and It went above my head. Due to me repeating a grade I feel like my parents lost respect me for me. I feel like I’m still young for my junior/senior year of college but my dad started medical school at 16 so I’m always the disappointment.
My sister (18F) on the other hand has never had the best grades and my parents practically donated a wing to get her into their best friend’s college. I love her and I think she’s a smart girl but every tiny achievement of hers is treated with so much more than mine. My gpa is around 4 but it reduced because I got a B in my physics class and my dad goes why did you get a B? Because I’m fucking shit at physicis why else?
We’ve had our share of fights where we scream at each other but I’ve never once heard him yell at my sister for anything. The fact also remains she’s naturally skinnier and prettier than me so even though she eats crap all day when they see me munching on some chips they imply that that’s why I’m fat.
Even as a child I’ve always been pretty social and my sisters been an introvert. Me going out to bars and parties has always been this thing they yell at me for even though I don’t let it hinder my work. My sister smoking is seen as a cheeky ah let her live sort of thing. They definitely love us both but I feel like she’s always preferred or treated better. Do any other older siblings feel the same? Idk if it’s all in my head or I’m crazy or what. They’re good parents but I’m so frustrated so I asked my mum if she could name three classes I’ve taken in college and she couldn’t but insisted that of course she did. I lost it. I called her a liar for saying she knew and not knowing. She then got mad at me bc I made her feel guilty and said they push me harder bc I’m the smarter one. I yelled at her and said she loves my sister more than me and the push me harder thing is bullshit. She cried and I feel like the asshole.
TL:DR : always felt like parents like sister more. i confronted mom, mom denied it, I caught her in a lie and yelled at her and she cried.
UPDATE : Idk it’s not as dramatic as people want but my mom did tell me her and my dad are incredibly proud of everything I’ve accomplished and they’re aware they’re hard on me and arent that involved in my life. They said that it’s always been harder with my sister because she’s not as motivated so they focus on her and may have ignored me a bit. It’s as a close to an apology as I’ll get from my Asian ass parents so I’m good with it. I said I was sorry too. My parents truly have given me it all and I can recognise that.
Also to everyone who is being a dick : you can F off mate. Growing up Asian is really really really hard and being the eldest child in the household is even harder. My dad was also some sort of prodigy and the eldest child in HIS family. He finished medical school at 21. If I got a 99 I’ve been asked about the other 1 since I began school. It’s frustrating and exhausting. I also was upset because I’m ok on the surface but on the inside, I drink, I’m depressed and anxious and have a minor drug issue and I felt deeply uncared for. Thanks for your advice but there’s truly no need to be an ass. To the sweet and kind ones : Thanks ❤️
Deep-Tax6509: So you think your mother being able to make 3 college courses or your father being able to remember the names of random editors is a valid enough test of their affection for you? To be honest it sounds like you just enjoy creating drama out of nothing just for the sake of having something to complain and be miserable because deep down your jealous of you’re sister, so to fill the hole jealousy creates you use unnecessary drama.
[deleted]: Maybe you’re right. I didn’t really care if she knew what classes I did. It’s just that I’ve been in college for 6 semesters now and I talk about school all the time. Her not even knowing a class I’ve taken stung because it showed me she didn’t listen. And as for my dad and the editors I only told him about them because he asked me if I networked with people and I mentioned this and then in a few days he forgot again and accused me of not making the most of things. I guess you could be right thoigh, I am creating drama out of nothing.
Deep-Tax6509: Okay, at the same rate you’re acting like they don’t give a shit about you because they forgot or neglected very minute details about your life. Colleges courses you take do not matter, the degree does. The connections you make do not matter, what they lead to does. As you Said, they pay for your school, they pay for you to come home to see them, and I assume they pay for the vast majority of things in your life, so I’d recommend if you’re truly that traumatized by your parents behavior going to see a therapist I might be your best bet instead of complaining on Reddit.
[deleted]: Like I’ve said multiple times previously, or maybe I’m not saying it well, I’m ok with her not knowing tiny things about my life. It’s the fact that my sister has a personal assistant follow her to college, she has my mum write her notes and papers and my mum thought I worked as a barista when I’ve never done that in my life. It was also the way she lied about pretending to know. It’s a huge thing they pay for me financially but they’ve got this throw money at the probkem mentality when all I want is just a little bit of ‘how was your semester?’
Deep-Tax6509: Have you ever thought that they think that you are capable of handling your own life in ways that your sister is not, and that is why they give more attention when it comes to her in order for you both to have the same opportunities for success in life?
| 6 | 0.166667 | |
1654591992 | 1654596012 | t3_v6qk37 | t5_2to41 | 54 | TIFUrmom: TIFU by causing a dangerous rockslide and destroying my customer's boat
Now, full disclaimer, part of this fuck-up is on my employer and customer, but the awful taste isn't what I'm posting about here, just my awful execution.
With that aside, let's get to the story. I (20M) work for a landscaping company, but we are less of a "mowing the lawn" and more of a large-scale exterior design business. So we are used to unusual requests. But this one went seriously wrong.
The time: last Thursday morning. The place: a house on a small lake. This is less of a house and more of a mansion, we're talking a *private* lake here. Anyway, this rich old guy comes out of the house when we arrive to tell us exactly how it has to be done.
He's brought us here with one specific goal- to line the *entire* south side of the lake shore (about 500 feet wide by 20 feet high) with boulders because it will "be good for the property value if there's no visible grass by the lake".
I have no more idea why than you do. Anyway, this guy insists that EVERY rock be perfectly white. Like, polished. Of course this isn't possible, but we show him an example of the average rock and he decides this is fine. You'd really have to be there to understand how weird and demanding this guy is but if you've ever seen Star Wars Rebels, this guy is a real life [Azmorigan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Azmorigan)
'Round about noon, we start unloading rocks onto the shore and this guy is on his boat (a small speedboat) repeatedly cutting close to the shore to point at rocks that he says are too dark and he demands we remove them.
After a bit of this, we decide to temporarily start stacking the rocks near the middle and filter out the darkest ones so we won't have to keep climbing over our already-placed stones. This means around 500 sizable boulders are stacked near the middle, one on top of another, as this guy circles the lake on his boat.
After a lunch break, we come back and get ready to spread the rocks. The guy is back too now, loudly screaming from his boat that we are trying to scam him because the rocks are too dark. Yes, I know this sounds crazy to non landscapers but it's really just another day for us. So I've mostly ignored him, but I realize all of the sudden in an *oh shit* moment, that I've left the rocks at the top stacked against the rolled-down back ramp of our truck, which my coworker needs to lift up so we can leave later in the day.
So, I start looking for ways to get the ramp out, and surprise surprise, I'll have to go the hard way. I decide to just start unstacking the rocks, but this doesn't work because now the old guy is threatening to sue us if we don't spread out the rocks *right now*. I panic at the threat because I'm still fairly new, this is my first real full time job. My coworkers are standing at the top of the hill looking aghast, and i assume they're just reacting to crazy boat guy.
No, they're reacting to my fifty thousand dollar fuck-up as it happens. I pull out the bottom rock in panic to start spreading them, and pretty soon *LITERAL HUNDREDS* of boulders are crashing down toward the lake.
Crazy guy has now jumped out of his boat, as the rocks careen toward him. He swims to safety but his boat sinks when the rocks hit and capsize it.
Now I'm facing a lawsuit along with my company for "criminal negligence" (according to the rotund Jabroni's 1am text that night) because he had it on camera that I took out the bottom rock.
TL;DR I panicked while a customer yelled at me and ended up destroying his boat by causing a rockslide.
So, how's your week going?
Tolathar_E_Strongbow: This is logistically difficult to visualize
DazzlingDingos: Yeah I wish we could see a video of it :/
Tolathar_E_Strongbow: u/TIFUrmom , invite us to the trial so that we can watch Mr. Boulderlake's security video when it comes up as a piece of evidence
DazzlingDingos: Yesssss
| 5 | 10.8 | |
1654593033 | 1654694002 | t3_v6qt73 | t5_2to41 | 5,213 | JapaneseRomeo29: TIFU by falling in love with my hook-up
So I'm an average 29 year old guy and I had been in a relationship with the love of my life (or at least I thought she was) for a few months. After getting dumped by my girlfriend 'cause of her psychological issues and struggling with some mild depression for about a month or so, I installed a dating app on my phone to distract myself by meeting new girls, have a few casual dates and get over her.
Soon after, I matched with a cute 20 year old girl who lived in a neighboring city half an hour away by train. We didn't have much in common -apart from the fact that we were both homebodies- and she was pretty much an airhead (tad bit annoying but mostly cute kind). Surprisingly though, our messaging went on smoothly for several days before she invited me over to watch a movie together last Sunday. Of course, I didn't turn her down.
I went to her place the same day. She was MUCH cuter IRL compared to her overly filtered photos on her Instagram. We went straight to bed and watched a horror movie on her phone. We cuddled, hugged, kissed and of couse had some not-really-unexpected sex. Everything was cool.
The problem is after that. I've been thinking about her constantly since then, and I think I fell in love with her. I certainly didn't plan for a new potential relationship this soon, and I'm not even sure if I want one. (I don't want a rebound girl either.) She's gonna come to my place next Sunday and I'm thinking of asking her out. I know this isn't r/relationship_advice but I'm definitely open to suggestions and/or warnings.
TLDR: I fell in love with my tinder date who I only hooked up with to forget about my ex.
Srudge: You are not in love with her, you are in love with your idea of her
After 1 date you dont even begin to know the person
People need to chill with the word love, you dont even know what it is if you use the term this lightheaded
j0ec00l69: Infatuation is the word. Not love.
BasileusLeon: Came to find you before I commented lol. It’s weird how unknown vocabulary can significantly expand your understanding of your feelings
Prize-Thought-4205: Its partly the fault of media, TV shows, movies and content people consume in their upbringing. We romanticize & fantasize about love so much in the name of capitalism & exploiting humans deep desire to be loved & love others, and this makes it a lot more difficult to find something real when everyone uses love for everything. Like Joe from the TV show *"You"* we love the idea of love.
You read a lot of different books & your literal perspective of the natural world can completely shift.
Most people confuse love with things like having interest or a crush on a person they don't know too well.
If its a celebrity or role model figure or anyone a lot of people know of none of their fans truly love them, its literally not possible, its all just adoration of the hyper personality they display in media. Likely, a true healthy & loving relationship with who the person actually is outside of hyper reality is not even possible with most of their fans due to the power imbalances & the dehumanizing aspect of their fans not seeing them as flawed humans but hyper personalities. This will cause mental health issues for the famous person, not able to be truly loved or accepted for who they are but who others think they are.
There's a massive cognitive dissonance people have about love, dating, sex, relationships because everyone wants to believe they're extremely special & their experience is completely unique to them... which is true in a sense, your feelings & thoughts about a person are unique, how you feel about them and what you see in them. But the dilemma of deluding yourself into thinking its love is pretty common until you mature past this and understand yourself as a person, your emotions.
This is why its important to look at things from other's perspective, to both see if you can draw any similarities that help with your own life & gain wisdom from the mistakes others are making. People give better advice to other's than themselves, they aren't as clouded by emotions.
Its the worst with younger people, filled with tons of raging hormones, developing brains & confusing emotions.
This is why high school & and even some college sweet heart relationships fail, one party didn't truly know & understand themselves as a person so how could they possibly know who they truly love?
We shouldn't need to have *"the talk"* with a 29 year old guy on an internet forum. But people also fall *"in lust"* confusing it for love, they love all the dopamine from the sex and are physically attracted to someone a lot, so their brain tricks them into thinking they should be with this person so they can have babies, they tell themselves this person is the one for them & super compatible in other aspects of life, a relationship with them. Many people might have kids with someone like this and realize that... well there wasn't any actual compatibility there so red flags become more apparent, the split is inevitable... they might have even gotten married because of all the good feelings from physical intimacy, pressure from society, but aren't emotionally prepared to have a healthy relationship.
**OP's situation is particularly scary, since he's approaching 30**... he can hurt a lot of young women and misguide them with relationships if he goes around telling every women he meets he's deeply in love with them. People should be leaving each other better than they found them with every interaction not being insensitive & uncaring of other human beings, this is why some people should take time to themselves after a breakup or divorce not put themselves out there & be destructive to other's mental health. The truth is he most likely loves companionship deeply since he lacks it in life & doesn't know how to be happy on his own, and/or lacks a group of healthy friends to spend time with. It might have also played into why his past girlfriend broke up with him.
He also potentially lacks a healthy relationship with his family or peer groups, amazing socializing from hobbies. This can create neediness & even a psychological dilemma called co-dependence.
When people are missing so many key pieces in life co-dependence is more possible, they're not happy on their own & associate one person with all that happiness & joy, even a stranger they shared some good moments with can become their new source.
The 20 year old probably thinks OP is some super matured & emotionally developed man who knows exactly what he wants compared to all the 20 year old guys she knows, but she's in for a rude awakening.
genmischief: >OP's situation is particularly scary, since he's approaching 30... he can hurt a lot of young women and misguide them with relationships if he goes around telling every women he meets he's deeply in love with them.
&#x200B;
>The 20 year old probably thinks OP is some super matured & emotionally developed man who knows exactly what he wants compared to all the 20 year old guys she knows, but she's in for a rude awakening.
And somehow, it's already the man's fault/responsibility. (eye roll)
RJT_RVA: It's the 30 year old's fault for hooking up with a 20 year old. It just so happens that men are the ones doing this the vast majority of the time.
genmischief: So he raped her, is what you're saying? That she had no say on it and he forced this?
i-might-be-stupid: nobody said anything about rape? it's just that whenever there is a large age gap between people in a romantic or sexual relationship, it can cause power dynamics which are unhealthy. Typically the older one in this situation is at fault because when you're younger you don't know enough about feelings and love to truly grasp the situation as much as them. you're jumping to a huge conclusion that no one even mentioned
genmischief: >nobody said anything about rape?
You did. You said it was the 30-year-olds fault. You completely disempowered any agency that young woman has in this.
If you reread it slowly, she invited HIM over... they both knew the deal. Why is this difficult?
JackDeaniels: It somehow seems you do not know how to differentiate the situations, rape, and misleading someone’s emotions, are two VERY different things
genmischief: That is EXACTLY the point I am making, that several people are IMMEDIATELY laying the blame at the feet of the male. When in reality there isn't even a TIFU here. It's sexist bs.
JackDeaniels: And thus it seems you are the one missing the point. There has been no blame laid for rape or anything even approaching it.
The blame lies in the older person, perceived as the mature party, while in reality he’s unaware of his own feelings, therefore misleading the other side with the illusion of love.
The girl, whether looking for a relationship for the purposes of sex, friendship or romantic feelings, has given no misinformation according to OP’s text. Furthermore, accounting for the fact he said ‘not-so-unexpected sex’, it would seem they truly did hook up, as that was what he was looking for to begin with.
So basically, regardless what both sides were looking for, they are now in a situation in which OP will probably hurt the other side, with promises of relationship and love, while simply being infatuated with her, a short-lived admiration.
You can’t be falling in love in a single date, this ain’t Disney, he barely knows her.
I’ve been in this position, infatuated with the idea of the girl I was dating, simply because it was my first time dating. She was looking for a hookup, while I looked for love, yet I kept on convincing her to stay.
I’m glad she took those red flags and dumped me, I mean, retrospectively, I’m not sure I even liked her all that much, a grave sin if you ask me.
| 13 | 401 | |
1654595179 | 1654596132 | t3_v6rblt | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by writing a fanfiction of me brutally murdering someone
[deleted]
Geminizoner: This is a perfectly fine example of ‘I fucked up’ without you saying you could potentially have mental health issues and that’s why you might have done it.
Don’t see why you would ‘blame’ it on that rather than just saying you made an attempt at being funny and didn’t like the rejection.
All this over not liking someone’s pfp. Bizarre.
mollywhinchester: I agree, also lying about it for years until telling the truth doesn't lessen the blow or take away from what you did. You actually kinda made it worse by lying about it and hoping the problem would go away.
| 3 | 4 | |
1654598093 | 1654635129 | t3_v6s1tx | t5_2to41 | 750 | ChayhaS: TIFU by making blondies for my boyfriend
As this f up happened at midnight I'm going to still count it as today's f up.
My boyfriend has weird eating patterns sometimes and has like one or two days in a month were he will eat like he's a growing teenager again - nothings safe! I'd already made us our meal and provided snacks throughout the evening but today his appetite was insatiable. We were kinda running low on things for him to stuff his face with - so I thought I'd be extra thoughtful and make him some caramel blondies.
It's not a hard recipe and it only requires 1 large egg. Great, I go to the fridge to get one out. I grab the egg, it somehow slides awkwardly through my fingers and falls onto the fridge shelf!
It doesn't break- phew!
But then to my horror, it starts rolling along the shelf, I've got the door wide open and I'm stood in front of it slightly to the side, my arms are not ready to be the safety catch - it's all happening so fast!
The egg falls from the end of the shelf and out of the open fridge door.
My brain, it doesn't always behave appropriately and logically in hasty situations, it thinks fast.
And I kick the egg.
It cracks.
My foot and now the nearby wall, are covered in egg.
Because that's what happens when you kick a falling egg.
Thankfully we had more eggs, so I was able to feed the insatiable appetite of my boyfriend in the end.
It was all 'egg'selent in the end....
Tldr: baked blondies for my boyfriend, dropped an egg and tried to stop it with my foot by kicking it and getting covered in egg. I guess the yolks on me.
DownrightDrewski: I had no idea where this was going, this was a hilarious twist. I'm going to have to say you've smashed this one.
ChayhaS: Scrambled my brain for a minute in all the panic but I can crack up about it all now!
DownrightDrewski: I think I'd be too fried to crack on with the blondies.
ChayhaS: Too be honest it boiled my blood kinda and in the end I had to look on the sunny side up
jhorred: Sounds like something you should be able to get over easy though.
ChayhaS: If I'm honest I was still a bit upset this morning, so my boyfriend wanted to make my breakfast to cheer me up. He asked me how do I like my eggs in the morning?
I replied, I like mine with a kiss
FreeOffbrandTherapy: You said kiss where I think you meant *kneesplosion
| 8 | 93.75 | |
1654600231 | 1654605835 | t3_v6sml9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking that almost 10 years difference are okay
[deleted]
Many_Fix3167: My ex was younger than me. Was never a problem. But to each their own.
twotall88: I see he is your ex.
Many_Fix3167: Ya but it wasn't age that broke us up. It was sex..lol We are still good friends though
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1654600459 | 1654623969 | t3_v6sozv | t5_2to41 | 18,290 | ThatPolicy8495: TIFU by leaving class to get a BJ
\--2 years ago--
Background: I met my girlfriend at the time in college - we had a class together and sat next to each other. After texting about the homework every night we realized we really liked each other. One thing lead to another and by the middle of the semester we were dating. We were pretty inseparable.
One day we were at school, spending the day together as usual. More background: she didn't have a car so we'd meet at school since she took the bus. I commuted 30 minutes to school in my car. That day we did homework together, ate at Moes (the burrito place), the usual.
Before I continue, know that this girl had a sex drive unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I have a pretty high libido, actually a really high libido to be honest. But if I was like an 8/10, she was at least an 11. Typical guy here, so can't complain.
Until one day we're in class (we'd only been dating for a few months, maybe less), and she sends me a text saying she wants to suck my dick. I was like "right now??" and she was like "Right now." I was not in the mood but that can change pretty quickly, so I go with it. 0 complaints here, the lecture is boring as usual, and it's a really big class so no one would pay any mind if we both left. 13-year-old-me would be cheering and jumping up and down at this situation. I see no wrong.
So we leave. It's about a 15-minute walk to the parking lot. We held hands the whole walk and we didn't say a word. I knew what was about to go down and when no one was in our vicinity she'd give me a little touch. She was always about her business and knew what she was doing. At this point I am completely turned on.
We get to the parking garage (which is decently packed by the way) and sit in the backseat. We're on the fourth of fifth floor. She proceeds to go down on me very enthusiastically. Lots of spit+gagging etc. It's winter-ish so we're both wearing a few layers, it's one of those dick-through-the-boxer-hole blowjobs. Everything is going well until she gags and immediately stops. I ask what's wrong and she starts to panic.
She says "I think I spit too much" and I'm very reassuring like "no, don't worry I like it a lot." Then she says "no. you don't understand I spit too much." I'm a bit confused at first. Then the smell hits.
I hate puke. I hate it more than anything in the world. To me, it is the worst smell in existence. I am mortified. We had just had Moes. Tiny chips, man, tiny chips. I immediately open my door and get out. The next minute happened so fast. I'm outside of my car, dick-out, and I start puking. If any civilian walked by me right then they would have called 9-1-1, it was probably an awful sight.
I get my shit together and survey the damage done in the backseat. She is profusely apologizing, on the verge of tears. I get a rag and a spare shirt from my trunk and start cleaning. I had febreeze in the car, thank God, and I sprayed it everywhere. It was an admittedly quick and effective clean up - most of the puke was on my dick, which I wiped off. In the panic, I littered the shirt and rag (bad guy moment, sorry, it was life-or-death... I hate puke).
I get in my car and start driving home. I live with a few roommates and I know no one is home. Now that it's over with, I reassure her that it's ok, it was an accident, and I'm not mad one bit. Who gets mad over accidents? However, she was on a loop, saying sorry and super jittery. That's fine.
Life is pretty good for the next few hours. We get home, we shower one at a time (we were new to dating and the thought of a together-shower didn't occur to me / nor had we done that yet. I just remember getting home and running the shower). Then we're cuddling in my bed, fresh and clean, panic is over. Long story short, we \~sex\~, and I greet her with the largest cumshot I've ever produced to this day (I think stopping and starting up again had something to do with it). Life is good, but it's getting late so it's time to drop her home.
We go outside, it's freezing, and we have about a 30-minute ride home. She lives with her parents who are super strict: they don't even know she has a boyfriend (cultural thing). When I go to open my car door, I realized it's locked. Not only is it locked, I see the keys in the passenger seat. Uh oh.
We're stranded. She is already a few fake stories deep with her parents and now it's gonna get bad if I don't get her home soon. Triple A takes forever and I end up having to buy her a $45 Uber home. To a broke college student, that was like 40 mcchickens at the time. Huge loss.
It was definitely an eventful day. I have some fond memories of it though.
**TLDR**; leave class to get blowjob from girl in parking garage. She pukes on my dick. I drive home to shower and lock my keys in the car
**EDIT:** Update 1: Wow, I'm happy this blew up! Everyone is being really nice, this is a wholesome community and everyone who commented is awesome.
We are no longer in a relationship, I broke up with her a while back. As the relationship developed, so did its flaws. She was awesome though - and our honeymoon phase was awesome too.
For everyone saying TIFU by sex, you're not wrong. I just got reddit and I spent hours surfing the top posts of this subreddit and the stories made me crack up. Sex stories made up a lot of the posts so I had to share my own gross one... if you know me you know how much I hate puke so this one stuck out..
And yes, my house keys and car keys were separate. I now realize the importance of having a keychain, I was, and still am, a pretty forgetful person.
Let me know if you want more updates about anything, there were so many comments. Thanks again y'all!
Grouchy_External_345: Are you still with her?
donDT: “Girlfriend at the time”, makes it sound like she’s either fiancé/wife now, or stopped dating :/
I’m rooting for the former!
OP WE NEED ANSWERS! Please…
thefartofablueberry: OP left to get another bj and got puked on again, might be another 2 years until we hear something
stayoffmygrass: I'll wait.
McLagginz: Yeah, I don’t have a lot going on either… Is this seat taken?
stayoffmygrass: Have some popcorn.
McLagginz: I don’t like popcorn, I’ll go get some Swedish fish and a Dr. Pepper.
You want anything?
SkateboardingGiraffe: Yeah I'll take some chips from Moe's
McLagginz: Is Moe related to Joe?
Also, do you mean American chips or UK “chips”?
Also *also*, what flavor?
SkateboardingGiraffe: It's a reference to the Moe's in the OP post and I've seen Moe's in the US so I'm guessing American haha. Flavor tho, I prefer plain tortilla with mild salsa :)
McLagginz: I’ve never even heard of Moe’s.
I’ll see what I can swing, I’m going out for Taco Tuesday later so I can probably handle that.
Won’t be Moe’s though.
| 12 | 1,524.166667 | |
1654600920 | 1654637433 | t3_v6stjv | t5_2to41 | 12 | laurenoranges: TIFU by thinking I had been overcharged for a coffee
TIFU by thinking I was overcharged for a coffee.
So, at my work, we have an on-site coffee shop. I was feeling really tired and drained, so decided to wander off and get some energy back. I bought some chocolate for £2 and then a coffee for £3.05. As I pay, it dawns on me…I have been overcharged for this coffee and bloody chocolate!!
I let them know. But I wasn’t rude. I know it is an easy mistake to make. I have done similar when I worked at a supermarket. Anyway, these lovely ladies even take the liberty of getting out their calculator.
I paid £4.80. Their calculation shows I should’ve paid £5.05.
I can feel my checks flush red with embarrassment. I sort of gave them an awkward look and went, “Oh. Sorry.” with a dry laugh and did the walk of shame away. There was atleast 3-4 other people in the queue behind me.
I literally look so stupid right now lol, but never mind. These things happen! Please share stories of you doing similar things so I don’t worry too much later on tonight when I’m trying to sleep.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay anything more because it was staff discount.
Let’s just be thankful I’m not an accountant!!
TL;DR: I thought I was overcharged but I was undercharged for a coffee at work. I made myself look stupid.
agreeableperson: Hang on, a calculator was required to add 2 + 3.05?
laurenoranges: I have never been strong at maths🤣🥲
agreeableperson: Maybe you're not a math genius, but I hope you're not giving yourself a "hopelessly bad at maths" label and giving up on doing simple arithmetic! I truly believe that you can add 2+3 without electronic help.
| 4 | 3 | |
1654606900 | 1654607149 | t3_v6ux34 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking to a guy about balls
[removed]
Anotherdude342: This is a fuck up? I wanna see some life ruining stuff, this is just normal conversation.
DoughnutDonator: Exactly
| 3 | 6 | |
1654607117 | 1654639816 | t3_v6v09f | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to a random girls house at 3am to pick up weed
So this happened this weekend and I still can't believe I did this after getting drunk with friends. Sorry formatting. I'm on my cellphone.
I'll preface this story by saying that when I drink all I want to do is get late night food, go home and smoke weed and eat. I unfortunately put my last joint through the wash that week.
I 33M was out with some friends celebrating a buddies birthday. While out I meant to pick up some prerolled joints before the store closed but forgot.
We ended up going to this bar downtown and we're having a great time. They're playing old school hip-hop, we're drinking and dancing.
Being the good friend who is in a relationship, I am trying to wingman a couple buddies with some girls with no success. Finally one of my buddies who wasn't too drunk was able to socialize with a group of girls and we all started chatting. This is where my memory goes fuzzy as I was drinking doubles all night.
I decide to leave my friends to go home with what i believe is one of those girls because she said she had weed and all I want to do is smoke weed and eat shitty food.
This girl said she hadn't had too much to drink and drove us back to her house. It's now approaching 3am and I get a call from my Gf. This is where I sort of come to and realize I've fucked up. I accidently answer the call but hang up. I go into this girls house, she hands me the weed and a bottle of water but tells me she can't drive me home so I order an uber.
I call my girlfriend back lying about being with one of my friends to help him hook up but really just wanted weed.
I wake up in the morning and tell her the full true story but she obviously has doubts cause why would any sane sober person do what I did?
I stupidly gave her my number if she ever wanted mushrooms sometime cause I have a hookup.
I show my girlfriend my phone, all my texts and she mostly believes me but like I said has doubts.
If the roles were reversed I would be sick to my stomach, assumed cheating and would be devastatingly hurt.
Working on repairing this blip in our relationship which was been pretty good thus far.
I have decided to quit smoking weed which has been a struggle with me for years.
Tldr - drunkenly went to random girls house at 3am to pickup weed. Gf freaked out when I told her the truth and had a hard time believing me
Spirited-Reputation6: Is this like a publicized cover up story? You go to a chicks house at 3am, she gives you a jar of old green (mostly stems) that you tossed, and now your gf is suspicious. Also, you said this girl can hook her up with some mushrooms after she gave you a jar of stems (unlikely)—may portobellos, LoL! Too many contradictions. Too much information shared. 🤨 Dunno, man.
[deleted]: Lol. I'm more of a chaga guy myself.
I tossed it because it was sitting on the counter after I got home. After telling my girlfriend the story she asked if I could throw the jar of weed out and quit amoking weed.
I agreed because weed isn't worth a 3 year relationship
Spirited-Reputation6: I thought you tossed it bc it was mostly stems/old?
[deleted]: No, I tossed it because it brought back hurt to my girlfriend.
I've been attempting to quit smoking for some time due to overeating at night and I'm not the same person while high.
So this is just a good sign that enough is enough
Spirited-Reputation6: Na, man—you said I’d was old/mostly stems so you tossed it. Just trying to help you keep your story straight. Chick slanging old weed is a credible mushroom source. GL, bro
Choice_Friendship100: OP said that he would be her mushroom source since he had the hookup. Everything else you said is spot on.
| 7 | 4.428571 | |
1654604950 | 1654615480 | t3_v6u7k9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | comingforyourpickle: Tifu by moving out when I was 17 and having no clue how it works.
Any help will be massively appreciated , you might save me a law suit :)
Quick background my flatmate is a narcissist and has tried to get any money she can off me always ! Never pays me back. And my landlord never kept in touch with us , our wifi wasn’t paid when it was included in the bills for two weeks and I had to take those days off as work from home. Fuck them
I’ll start from the beginning. I moved out my parents home in 2019 , with my friend and her partner. My friend was the only one who signed the contract as she was a student and it would make our council tax cheaper. Throughout the time that I lived there I was always registered under my parents house ( I know I was young and stupid okay).
But now I have handed in my notice, my flatmate wasn’t having it and basically refused to give me my deposit and to contact our landlord , so I did. He said that it’s fine and I don’t have to pay the outstanding days ( I had already paid till the end of that month so there was about 2/3 weeks legally left I’d have to pay ) and refunded me my deposit. He had asked for my flatmates number and my bank details, I sent it all over but found it weird he needs her number when he should already have it?
So my landlord sent me everyone’s deposit instead of just mine , I contacted him immediately to say there’s been a misunderstanding to which I got no reply.
My flatmate has now contacted me to say I lied to him and said I was on the contract ( that ran out years ago) so he refunded me all the deposit. And I need to give it all back and it’s up to her if I get it and I need to pay the remaining days now and he should be getting in contact with me soon.
She also said that I need to pay the outstanding gas and electric bills and council tax ( I haven’t actually stayed in the property since February) but as far as I’m aware my tax is being paid by my parents where I now again live.
I have asked for money back for some of the stuff we bought together that they kept which was also ignored. I gave her a verbal notice at the start of the month which was ignored . When I wasn’t there they would go through my stuff and move it as they please. She was a horrible flatmate and gave me emotional abuse through the whole time I stayed there.
Is there anything I can do? Do I need to pay it all or should I just suck it up and pay it ?
I’m a idiot for moving in the first place.
Note, I moved all my things out the day after my notice and handed back the keys. I saw on social media she had someone staying there a couple days after I left.
Tl;dr I tried to avoid council tax and moved in with a idiot, now I have a massive bill coming.
Scotland ,UK
Burmina: Better let people know your country, and don't listen to anyone not from there.
comingforyourpickle: Yes of course , I’ll add it in the post it’s Uk , scotland to be precise
LittleJenkins1: (UK here also)
It's a difficult one to advise on to anyone that isn't Savy. I would suggest seeking professional advise, rather than advise from Reddit. However Can I confirm, were you on the Contract or just her? If you were not on the contract, then you have no legal standing to pay anything as legally it all falls on the flatmate.
She has no baring on what you do or do not pay, in terms of bills, either if you were not in the property as there is no way of stating how much gas/electric you used as you were not there. In terms of the deposit, you would not pay it all back as standard, though it sounds like a really messy situation with a difficult/inexperienced landlord. Seems to me they want everyone out and that is the reason for the bulk Deposit. However you would simply keep your deposit and refund everyone else's.
Mainly the contract is between the tenants and the landlord, not the tenants and the tenants so anything to do with paying rent, deposit etc is between yourself and your landlord.
Again, Seek professional advice with this.
| 4 | 1 | |
1654610519 | 1654619536 | t3_v6wfhu | t5_2to41 | 8 | Riskydategirl: TIFU by pursuing a woman who wants to date multiple guys
[removed]
My_Cat_Louie: This is sketchy af dude. I'm a woman, I am telling you to RUN. Polyamorous relationships are fine, but this does NOT sound like she is poly. Sounds more like she wants the perks of multiple guys taking her on dates and buying her things. Also, I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable sharing a sexual partner with multiple other people. Run, run away, and never look back!
SalleighG: Some people make the sharing part work for them. "Hot wives". Some kinds of "swinger". Depending on the boundaries of how you define "multiple other people" then poly can potentially fall under that.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1654614851 | 1654619307 | t3_v6yew8 | t5_2to41 | 221 | masterklass: TIFU By surfing reddit with my family! 🤦🏾♂️
This happened last night. Laying in the bed chilling with my wife and our 2 kids (girl 12 and boy 7). My son was on his tablet next to me not really paying attention. To kill time I whip open reddit to find something funny to laugh at.
My son is now paying attention due to all my laughter and I am not aware.
I come across the following post (watch for context).
https://www.reddit.com/r/funnyvideos/comments/v5yg4e/always_happy_to_be_complimented/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source
I watch it and chuckle to myself... To my bewilderment my 7 year old son blurts out “Daddy what's a cock?"
I couldn't help it. I laughed myself to tears... He kept asking!
My wife the trooper is now trying to explain to him in a PG way what a cock is, while giving me a death stare.
Now my 7 yr old has a cock! 🤣🤣🤣
TL;DR — Decided to surf reddit while my 7yr old son was watching my phone. Saw a post that said “Nice cock". He then kept asking what is a cock and if he could get one too? I was paralyzed with laughter so my wife had to explain to him what a cock was... Now he has a cock!
DownrightDrewski: Now your wife thinks you're an immature cock too - classic, funny and kind of wholesome.
masterklass: She already thought that.. This was more confirmation 🤣
DownrightDrewski: Fair - I think we often just have an immature side. My very well respected step father still finds something funny about farts.
masterklass: I believe it is necessary to have that side. It brings a childlike happiness to the balance of everyday life.
DownrightDrewski: I couldn't agree more!
| 6 | 36.833333 | |
1654618366 | 1654619029 | t3_v701ha | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating before bed
[deleted]
KcocNoisnetxeGib: Im laughing at work. I’m a POS. And I’m sorry.
zed_christopher: Fuck it’s deleted! What was the story??
Mental_Spare9324: This happened last night and I know it's no big deal but
it's going to haunt me for a little while.
My wife and I usually go to bed together around 10 or
11pm. We had company over and she doesn't have to
work today while I do, so I went to bed while she stayed
awake with the guests (some of her family members and
a couple joint friends).
We don't always have sex before bed but regularly do.
Obviously we didn't last night because of the company.
So I decided to rub one out quick before I begin my
slumber.
I open up my favorite site. Browse for about 30 seconds
before I find one I like, and I get going to town on myself.
It isn't too long into it before my wife comes barging in
"TURN IT OFF!"
I panic and close the browser on my phone. And she tells
me I was connected to the Bluetooth speaker the entire
time.
So now everybody who was still at my house knows what
kind porn I watch.
The bizarre part is I never have the volume on on my
phone so I didn't realize it was connected because there
is never any sound coming out of it as it is.
It's going to be an awkward couple weeks around these
people.
TL;DR: Went to jerk off in private but was connected to
the familv speaker and several friends and familv
Edit: I copied it before it was deleted
Doctor_Syn: Thank you 👍🏻
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1654618302 | 1654619101 | t3_v700do | t5_2to41 | 4 | bandwannadate: TIFU by starting a band for the wrong reasons
[removed]
Chris33729: Nickelback? Is that you??
SalleighG: Might be William Shatner.
| 3 | 1.333333 |
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