start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1655219955 | 1655227581 | t3_vc5um5 | t5_2to41 | 24 | cricket9818: TIFU by not realizing I was lactose sensitive
So, this is going back about 17 years ago or so. When I was a wee 14 year old.
So I went to school in America and when it comes to lunch we had a very limited supply of drink options. Basically; chocolate milk or juice. Out of habit from ages 7 to 14, I drank the chocolate milk everyday. Didn’t matter what was offered for lunch, it got the choc milk with it. Every single day after lunch I would get SUPER gassy. Young me obviously didn’t think of any connection, just annoyed that I had to fart so much. However, recess was usually right after so I’d fart myself to contentment and that was that.
But this day… that did not happen. I came back inside and idk what it was but my stomach was very upset, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli. So after lunch I’m in math class. We’re settling in and right away my stomach is in knots. Like all I could think about was how badly I needed to fart. Thankfully I’m good at holding! So I tell myself “ just hold for this period and then you can let it go” (I never left class to go to the bathroom, super nerd and didn’t want to miss anything).
However, this time I couldn’t. I was clenching as hard as I could and WAM. Audibly loud but quick fart comes out. Eruption of laughter. I’m moritified but laughing along. Teacher settles everyone down.
Now it’s notes time, which means lights off and overheard projector on. Which means = silence. 5min in, yup, yes again, another fart building. Now I’m nervous because one already slipped through. Sure enough another one, albeit quieter this time slips out. A few kids notice and chuckle. But the worst? I look up and my teacher, ugh my TEACHER is smriking and clearly trying not to laugh.
I was so embarrassed I resigned myself to never letting a fart out in class ever again; which I achieved with moderate success. It wasn’t until I got to my early 20’s that I realized I was lactose sensitive and the daily milk was the cause of my farting streaks.
TLDR: young teen me didn’t realize I was lactose sensitive; farted not once but twice in class, resulting in my classmates and teacher laughing at me.
StuffPanda: Yea its definitely a bit misleading where many of us are taught that milk is essential part to become "healthy" kids
But no one ever mentions that almost 70% of people cant digest it well
Luckily there are many substitutes now a days and you may have built up enough "tolerance" to enjoy smaller servings of things that should be more digestible (see - icecream / yogurt / etc).
SallyHeap: I keep a bottle of lactase pills in my purse, in the kitchen, by the couch, everywhere. I still forget one time. I was supposed to do a colon cleanse the night before a surgery last month but I skipped it because I'd had a large latte and forgotten the pill that morning and spent the whole day involuntarily cleansing. I figure I'll just have a milkshake next time I need a colonoscopy. It'll taste a lot better than the stuff they give you and it'll have the same effect.
| 3 | 8 | |
1655219749 | 1655227307 | t3_vc5ry0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Swimming-Librarian-9: TIFU... I think i ruined my life in an job interview
it happen today and i want just want to jump in a volcano, I was at a google meet in a job interview with 20 other people, I showed up, I did my part and everything was fine, I would have gotten the job. The thing is that I already have a job and I was here to look for another one, I woke up late and did the interview with half my body up super organized, but even so I didn't take a shower, I turned off the video and audio and went to the bathroom with the pc, and of course I activated the video at some point and when I realized it I was on the screen with my shirt and nothing underneath, thank God, and at the angle you couldn't see anything below me but you knew what It had happened, I disconnected the call and I stayed under the shower for about 5 thinking how ruined my life if I go viral.
tl;dr I undressed at my job interview without realizing it in front of 20 people and they still didn't give me the job
sorry for my english
ImpressiveCollar5811: This sounds a bit sketch. Who decides mid interview to take a shower? How’d you activate the video while in the shower?
Swimming-Librarian-9: While i was going to the bathroom with laptop and clothes in my hands and closing the door, a simple case of stupid
ImpressiveCollar5811: Why would you be in the middle of an interview and decide it was the perfect time to shower?
| 4 | 2 | |
1655220172 | 1655222896 | t3_vc5xlm | t5_2to41 | -5 | AlexTCF: Tifu by not locking my phone
Now the title may seem abit boring. But here we go. ( Married Father of 3 )Tifu by not locking my phone. The last year I moved back to my first workplace in a management position and I started talking to the new staff that weren’t there previously. I met a young girl (19) and we started talking about life and how everything is. We got very close. Talking and texting everyday kinda thing. My wife hated her. But I said nothing was happening and I wasn’t lying.
However the young girl got drunk one night and decided that we were close enough to send me an explicit image. Me not knowing left my phone unlocked on the kitchen counter while I went to the loo and low and behold the wife opened it and went berserk.
Safe to say I’ll be sleeping on the sofa until she calms down
TL;DR got close to a colleague. She sent an explicit image and the wife saw it (whoops)
AnonymousWelshGuy: Gotta ask - Were they some nice tittys?
AlexTCF: They were. Not gonna lie. Made me question life they were that good
AnonymousWelshGuy: Nothing better than some good ol' tittys - especially if your wife has had 3 kids suck on hers.
Remember there is nothing bad in looking - just don't touch! and if you do touch keep me updated as to how many times you accidently poked the 19 year old 😂
AlexTCF: 😂 shouldn’t do. And never will. We’re friends and nothing more … 😉
AnonymousWelshGuy: Thats what you think
| 6 | -0.833333 | |
1655220264 | 1655262535 | t3_vc5yva | t5_2to41 | 3,774 | _everon: TIFU by asking a kid to hold up 10 fingers
So, I'm honestly really ashamed of this one, I'm doing an internship working with foreign students, teaching them the language, helping with their classwork, ect. Now I had this kid who was struggling with his math homework, I'm assuming he was like 6 or 7 years old, so I decided to help him. The question was 'wat is 10 - 4' and he just couldn't figure it out. So I said 'just hold up all your fingers and then take away four' he did and said the answer was 5. We went back and forth a bit and he kept saying 5. At this point I said hold up your hands and show me all your fingers, you'll have 10. He in fact did not have 10 fingers, he had nine. I was stunned and the teacher just looked at me like he wanted to kill me. I tried apologising but the teacher wouldn't have it and said if I made such a mistake again he would fail me. The kid thought it was funny though.
TL;DR
I asked a kid to hold up 10 fingers to solve a math problem and it turns out he only had 9 fingers. The teacher was incredibly mad and threatened to fail me.
DontCrossTheRoach: Bruh why'd the teacher get so mad atleast you realized your mistake
_everon: I dont even know, ig he was having a bad day or something
deep_space_artifacts: Does the teacher have 10 fingers? Maybe you touched on a sensitive topic.
issius: Got 10 on his hands but has his students’ finger in his desk drawer bringing it to 11
freelance-t: Literally posted the same idea then saw yours (and deleted mine. )
| 6 | 629 | |
1655222871 | 1655226959 | t3_vc6xpx | t5_2to41 | 13 | imconfusedx: TIFU by dating way out of my league
Not so much today, but we’re still in a relationship so yeah.
Basically, I started seeing this girl through a mutual friend last month. She’s in the social media space, really pretty, amazing everything, and to top that off, she’s really nice too and seems genuine. At first, I didn’t think a girl like that wanted to date someone, especially not someone like me, but she said that she wasn’t opposed to dating and because I’m nice, she would love to see me.
Now, I’m not too shabby myself, probably a solid 7 or 8/10. But compared to her? I mean Jesus, she’s amazing.
At first, things were pretty cool for my headspace. The fact that someone like her wanted to date me gave me a huge confident boost. But, again because she’s in the social media space, she gets invited to a lot of events and parties basically every other day. And that has started making me a little insecure to be honest.
Like, she meets a crazy amount of people in each of these events. She’s outgoing, she’s social, she’s friendly, and she’s hot. Meeting a bunch of other objectively hot guys. And since we’re both young and have a lot of time to look at our options, I don’t know, this has just made me really doubtful about our relationship or where things are going.
At this point, I can honestly barely focus on workouts, work, or even schoolwork. And every night that I go to sleep I can never sleep well anymore. It’s just killing me, and I’m now worried that I’m making a huge mistake in dating out of my league.
TL;DR: I fucked up by dating an amazing girl out of my league, because even though it starts out cool, I’m now very insecure.
GirlsAndChemicals: Not to sound accusatory, but... Do you even really like her? Your descriptions of both her and yourself are mostly centered around looks, and if that's where your head is at I can see why you'd be feeling really insecure in this situation. But she's a whole ass person, and so are you. There are more compelling reasons to be with someone than the way they look.
Your insecurities aren't coming from dating "out of your league" and that isn't your fuck up. Leagues are nonsense, and you'd be insecure regardless if you were with someone you really genuinely liked. Maybe this is an opportunity to talk things out and examine your insecurities a little closer, see if you can't challenge them a little. If you're mostly infatuated with this girl because she's attractive and her being "nice" is just a bonus, then yeah maybe this thing isn't gonna last and the thing to do for now is just have fun with it (without being misleading to her). Is that wrong?
StatisticianLivid710: Exactly this, I started talking to a local girl on discord recently (both play Pokémon go), she gave me her insta and I purposefully didn’t look beyond taking a look at some of her pics (she has a very cute dog) just so any attraction is based on personality, not looks.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1655223718 | 1657186156 | t3_vc795u | t5_2to41 | 3 | Similar_Speech_2579: TIFU by having a disturbing encounter with an Uber driver
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Rubilly91: That was wild.
Scruffylookin13: ???
Rubilly91: Why are you replying to something with question marks?
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1655221530 | 1655228821 | t3_vc6fl5 | t5_2to41 | 15 | pagespillows: TIFU by accidentally eating half a pint of B&Js ice-cream even though I'm dairy intolerant
Obligatory this happened a few months ago not today.
I found out I was intolerant to dairy when I was 8 years old. It wasn't as bad back then, and could kind of get away with a sneaky piece of cheese here and there, but sh\*\* really hit the fan (pun intended) when I was around 22 years old. My body couldn't handle any dairy at all at that stage, and I learnt it the hard way. Let's just say - literally pooping your pants as an adult is *never* a fun time. And also, it's incredibly painful - like, 'about to pass out from the pain' painful. Obviously, I cut out any food that comes with dairy from my diet. Cakes, biscuits, cheeses, fun cocktails with cream - the whole shebang went out the door for good.
I'm almost 28 now, and I've been dairy free for years bar a few slip-ups (like hidden dairy in processed meats).
Until a fateful, terrible, Sunday in March this year.
For the first time in my life, I'd done my normal grocery shop online. As usual, I ordered a tub of one of my favourite ice-creams - vegan Ben&Jerry's cookie dough. Vegan = non-dairy. Vegan = safe. Or so I thought.
The delivery van brings round my shopping, and with it my tub of cookie dough B&J's, which I pop into my freezer thinking nothing of it. A few days roll by, and it's Sunday, I'm watching Netflix with a friend, and we get sugar cravings. I crack open the B&J's tub and, true to form, decimate the whole tub between us in minutes.
Less than an hour later, my stomach is cramping up. I hear weird sounds coming from it, and start farting really stinky farts. And when you're allergic to something, the farts have a *smell*. It's not normal.
My friend jokingly commented, 'You sure the ice-cream was vegan?' and I laughed - in retrospect, a naive, innocent and reckless laugh.
But then, a slow, sinking feeling settled in my stomach as I locked eyes with my friend. I stopped laughing. My eyes widened in fear. I swivel my head to look at the empty B&J's tub still sitting on my coffee table. I don't see the usual green band on the lid that they use for the vegan tubs. Horror sets in for real. I grab the carton in slow motion, turning it round to see the label. 'Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough'. No vegan. No non-dairy.
My friend could not stop laughing even though she was worried about me. I was honestly just mechanically laughing, but crying on the inside.
They'd messed up my online order, but damn I was an idiot for not noticing.
I panicked. I contemplated making myself throw up, but decided against it. Instead, I just waited.
It took two whole days for it to hit me. And, of course, it happened while I was at work.
I was sitting in a 1-on-1 meeting with my boss, I felt a wave of pain wash over me and knew the dairy ice-cream had come knocking. I excused myself with a lot of apologies, thankfully we have a good relationship and I could just honestly tell him what was happening. I then walked/ran to the toilet and held on for dear life. Our office toilet has seen some sh\*\*.
Couldn't eat normally for a whole week after it. Safe to say, that time was the first and last time I did my groceries online. Also, weirdly, I guess there's no taste difference between vegan and dairy B&J's?
tl;dr I ate my way through half tub of Ben & Jerry's ice-cream even though I'm dairy intolerant, it hit me during a meeting with my boss and I had to rush out.
CruisinJo214: Ever tried lactaid or another dairy aid when you have a situation like this? I too avoid dairy and haven’t yet brought myself to try an aid, but in an accidental emergency like this I’d be eating them like candy.
pagespillows: Unfortunately they don't do much for me - I'm allergic to the protein content of dairy and lactaid usually help with the sugar content of dairy. Otherwise yes, I'd pop 'em like candy.
ShabbyBash: I had that....and then I was asked to have live culture yogurt with freshly ground peppercorns, three times a day. Within one month, I could have ice cream again. My egg alergy went, and I could digest rice again. Whenever I seem to be challenged in my gut health, I go back to this. Reset within a few days.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1655224087 | 1655226508 | t3_vc7dzd | t5_2to41 | 6 | Fuckboymagic: TIFU by lying to women
[removed]
arm2610:
>I tell them that Trump was garbage and abortion should be legal up until birth
Where’s the lie?
Thebeatybunch: That abortion should be legal until birth? Hopefully he's lying about that.
| 3 | 2 | |
1655224950 | 1655253387 | t3_vc7pse | t5_2to41 | 27,501 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my employer of three years how much maternity leave I’d receive and to let me work remotely part-time after I deliver my first baby
[deleted]
liriodendron1: As a Canadian I'm absolutely shook by this and all these comments what the actual fuck america
WaffleStomperGirl: You’re shook by all the people saying how incredibly illegal it is and that she is going to be able to sue the company to hell?
liriodendron1: More so the fact that this even happens and people need to seek legal advice on reddit for it.
WaffleStomperGirl: Yes - someone committed a crime, and the person they committed it against wasn’t completely aware of the laws involved.
Do you watch True Crime at all?
liriodendron1: No I don't. But the fact that parental leave is up to the employer to cover and not guaranteed is crazy. But also the fact that government covered parental leave is only 12 weeks not 12 months minimum is also crazy.
RvBSarge08: The 12 weeks is not maternity leave. The US does not have federal or state maternity benefits. That is the average length of time unemployment benefits end. He fired her.
liriodendron1: That's not shocking our parental leave also falls under unemployment just with separate rules and benefits. But firing someone for taking parental leave is unthinkable.
RvBSarge08: It's also illegal.
And the US does not have, at any government level, a maternity program. It's straight up unemployment, he's taking her she's fired.
liriodendron1: Yes very much so. But the fact that she has to go to her employer to see if she will receive more than 12 weeks is crazy.
RvBSarge08: Again, the 12 weeks is unpaid. It's just a guarantee that you will have a job after your 12 weeks of UNPAID time is done.
liriodendron1: Op states 67% state finding for 12 weeks? Is it unpaid or 67%? If it's unpaid that an extra level of fucked.
RvBSarge08: That's the average unemployment payout. Varies state by state and case by case, but the average is 67% of your salary for 12 weeks.
There are 5 states that mandate employers pay for 12 weeks of maternity IF ELIGIBLE which the majority of people are not. Federal employees get 100% of their salary for up to 18 weeks.
liriodendron1: That's just incredibly depressing. Ours is 60% (I think I never took it my wife did) 3 months dedicated to the birth mother. 9-15 months pooled for the parents raising the child (birth, adoptive,guardian,whoever). And as an employer if you fire someone for being pregnant or taking parental leave bye bye business. Also why the hell would you care that they're taking leave.
RvBSarge08: As an employer in the US I would care because I would be paying an employee for nothing.
Our government does not pay us. Nominally it's because our taxes are much lower than in more socialist nations, along with the mindbending size of our population....but as taxes have been rising steadily for the last few years it's more just because the govt doesn't know how to spend the money it has already so why on earth would they throw it at the people?
Government's across the world seem to have forgotten where their budget actually comes from and what happens when their people can no longer earn.
| 15 | 1,833.4 | |
1655224169 | 1655227792 | t3_vc7ezx | t5_2to41 | 93 | jlust24: TIFU by threatening to send my students back to where they came from
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but about two weeks ago.
Quick background, I am a white, male who teaches in a predominantly middle eastern and asian Middle School.
So this period starts off like any other period and things are going well...
A quarter through the period, I receive a phone call from the dean asking for a student to be sent down. Of course, I send them down. About 5 minutes later they return and I receive another phone call asking to send down another student. Away they go. They return 5 minutes later and all is well.
With about 5 minutes to go in the period, I tell the students to pack up and have some free time. This is where the fuck up begins...
The two students who were sent to the Dean's office started bickering and play fighting with one another. So I say to them, "Hey! Knock it off. Do you want me to send you both back to where you came from?!" (To paint the picture, one of the students bickering was black and the other from eastern europe.) The class erupts, "OHHHHHH JLUST24." - I start waving my hands and am like, "NO, NO back to the dean's! They just came from the dean's!" The whole class is laughing at this point and I'm dying inside.
Needless to say the class still hasn't forgotten this fuck up because today a student in that class went, "Hey, remember when you told two students to go back to where they came from"?
I'll never live this down...
TL;DR: Two students who just got sent to the dean's office were play fighting and I told them I'd send them back to where they came from (as in the dean's office). The class won't let me live it down.
Fit_Ad_7681: Probably best to never use that phrase in the future.
betterversionn: Sounds like the OP is already well aware of this given that they’re posting here. Right?
jlust24: Thank you for your understanding 🙏
| 4 | 23.25 | |
1655225819 | 1655262152 | t3_vc811i | t5_2to41 | 19,046 | GonnaBuyMeAMercury: TIFU by cheating on my girlfriend with.. my girlfriend?
[removed]
rtosser: If you like pina coladas.
bryoung813: And getting caught in the rain
Ranger-Greedy: if you're not into yoga
sunshineANDrainbowsg: or have half a brain
EvitaPuppy: If you like making love at midnight
Maulpzc1902: In the dunes on the cape
atomkoolkat1: Then I'm the love that you've looked for
StraightAd6799: Look to me and escape
Any-Palpitation-5193: I didn’t think about my lady
paulyd191: I know that sounds kind of mean
kroqus: But me and my old lady
CaiserZero: Had fallen into the same old dull routine
Who_Cares24: So I wrote to the paper
winterscent: Took out a personal ad
Kennethm215: And though I’m nobody’s poet
tom_led: I thought it wasn’t half bad
theIsotopeU233: Yes, I like piña coladas
A_VeryUniqueUsername: And gettin’ caught in the rain
its_bme: I’m not much into health foooood
winterscent: I am in-to champagne
sweetgirl232: I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon!
luew2: And cut through all this red tape
Dzsiii: At a bar called O'Malley's
OLDFatMan1971: Where we'll plan our escape
im-from-canada-eh: (Guitar solo)
theIsotopeU233: So I waited with high hopes
| 27 | 705.407407 | |
1655226560 | 1655227443 | t3_vc8b3p | t5_2to41 | 20 | NormativeDeterminism: TIFU by having my leaky stoma bag during a meeting
[removed]
War20X: I'd say you handled the pressure of the situation really well. Reacted accordingly, didn't panic, and took appropriate actions to enact a solution. I'd be surprised if they didn't hire/put you as a finalist for the position.
NormativeDeterminism: Cheers. Yeah, I thought I handled it well; the FU was really not just getting another bag when I saw that this one needed some real effort to stick down properly.
Well, I was supposed to be taking the minutes and the head made a point of reminding me that was my duty, but besides that the rest of the meeting went well. They all are nice, polite people but I did get a feeling a couple of them were wondering where I had vanished to for a significant amount of time!
War20X: We do often fall prey to the "well this has happened before" scenario. I'm not at all surprised you didn't feel the need to swap for a new bag. The RDR reference is well placed though and makes a visual that much easier.
| 4 | 5 | |
1655226820 | 1655275637 | t3_vc8eix | t5_2to41 | 41 | StalsWRLD: TIFU by falling in love with someone who wasn’t ready
I (16)M had a crush on a girl I was friends with. She had gotten out of a very toxic relationship and I was there for her every step of the way while she got over him. Over that duration of a week I started to fall more and more for her and it looked like she felt the same way about me. This made me happy as I hadn’t been in a relationship in quite some time. She told me at the moment she wasn’t ready but for someone like me she could consider giving me a chance. Yesterday I mustered up the courage to tell her how I really felt and called her, she said text since she was busy at the moment so I texted her my feelings. She told me that to her I was a “close friend” and this absolutely broke me, I had fallen so hard for her I didn’t know how to respond with the emotions and I ended up crying all day. It sucks but Ik I’ll have to get over it
TL;DR fell in love with a girl. Told me she saw me as a close friend. Cried all day
nosnevenaes: good experience! being in love is more chemical than it is substantial. let the feelings come and go but dont go with them. rejection hurts - it is one of the most destructive forces in nature. but new science is showing taking a tylenol or aspirin can help because the pain of rejection hits the body like physical pain. hang in there! you have lost nothing. you have gained something very valuable.
wetspaghetti420: This!! So much this!! You being 16 doesn’t diminish the pain you’re going through. It fucking hurts. Let it hurt and grow from it. The people telling you you’re “too young” are wack. Feel how you feel, just don’t let it consume you.
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1655227096 | 1655227808 | t3_vc8iak | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my mom raided by SWAT
[deleted]
Jabba-666-: WHAT??? Bro are you seriously about to let your own mother go catch 12 years for your ass???
TurbulentFlaccid: She’s pleading guilty and might only get 2 to 3
Jabba-666-: Terrible person man wowwww. Man the fuck up and take those yourself
TurbulentFlaccid: No
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1655227154 | 1655229221 | t3_vc8j27 | t5_2to41 | 9 | uday_it_is: TIFU by sending an acceptance email to future employer using current one’s official email ID.
Happened a few hours ago.
Still shitting bricks, overthinking all possible outcomes.
I am currently enrolled in a 6 month internship with company A as a Software engineer. As my internship is coming to an end in the next couple of weeks, I thought of pushing my luck and fetch a better offer from the market.
Company A is a good company and I enjoyed my time there but the pay they currently offer is below par which is obviously a big decision making factor.
I got myself another offer from company ‘B’ that pays almost double what ‘A’ is offering me, So naturally I am inclined to accept it ASAP.
I sign the offer letter, put todays date on it and wrote a delightful acceptance email before sending over to the HR of company B …… using my current employers official email id.
I did then apologise and sent a new email using my own ID to HR of ‘B’.
Big fuck up.
Best case scenario- nothing happens, ‘A’ ignores it and ‘B’ is none the wiser.
Worst case scenario- ‘A’ fires me tomorrow and ‘B’ thinks I am a jackass who should not be allowed near computers.
I shall update this as it goes! Maybe sharing it will make it less cringe.
Tldr- sent acceptance email for a new job to current HR using official email id.
Edit 1- company B doesn’t care! Received a acknowledgment email from them and they didn’t mention the email disparity!
numbernerd321: Ok so big truth moment here, the reality is you are an intern. You are not being hired to come in and change the corporate structure of this company. Not trying to belittle you but just saying that it will likely cause some amusement value in the prospective company but I wouldn’t overthink the implications. What I am saying is you are young and that is going to buy you some leeway you might not have 15 years down the road so pay attention and don’t make this mistake again.😉 good luck
uday_it_is: Thanks! This is my first proper job and I now realise that both parties would at most, just make fun of me. Nothing major LOL. But damn I did had a mini heart attack after the REALISATION.
And bless them for not hiring me to change their corporate structure. I wonder how bad can I fuck *that* up?
numbernerd321: Yes you are young and it is your first real job. Guess what as employers we want you to panic when you screw up. We always want employees who care over those who don’t. So think about it and laugh and don’t lose that attitude that you care about trying to do everything correctly and it will serve you well. Good luck.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1655229330 | 1655233794 | t3_vc9cs2 | t5_2to41 | 6 | Exleose: TIFU I just got scammed like an idiot
I was near a supermarket and a guy told me that his car ran out of fuel and didn't have the money to pay for it so he asked me if I could give him some cash so that he could buy a liitle bit of fuel, just enough for him to get home.
Like the naive idiot samaritan I am I gave him 10 euros. But obviously I knew perfectly that he could be a scammer but I wanted to try. I do as if I go into the store but actually I come back to see what he's doing. And guess what, he was leaving the parking lot with his car... First time I give money to a stranger who's not homeless and it'll be the last time. Because of him I will never ever help people I don't know who seem to be in need, even if they turn out to be good people.
I feel like a dumbass and I'm more angry at myself than at the scammer. I really suspected him to be a scammer but I didn't listen to my instinct and wanted to play the good christian giving money to those in need.
Tell me I'm not alone guys I feel so stupid.
TL;DR: I gave cash to someone who was apparently in need but actually wasn't. In short I got scammed.
MuskyLion: I had a similar experience a few years ago. I offered to follow the couple to a gas station and fill their tank (I generally don't carry cash), which they accepted. I'm not sure if they scammed me for free fuel, but the total was only like $40 US, so NBD. I felt good about it after.
Exleose: Damn you're really a good person if you did that or you have a very high paying job which makes 40 dollars not much
MuskyLion: Oh, ty. I do well enough so that I don't have to worry about $40, but I'm sure we are at different stages of life, so our budget restrictions would be different.
I don't know that I am a really good person. I may have just been a decent bloke in that moment, from a more objective POV.
Exleose: I swear to you that many people would have ignored this demand, so I think that in respect to the average human you are good.
And yeah I'm a student in college and the money that's on my bank account comes from my mother... That's partly why it made me angry
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1655233135 | 1655239099 | t3_vcarmf | t5_2to41 | 28 | MVBanter: TIFU I learned a little late how easily I could’ve died
So like most posts this didn’t actually happen today, happened a week or 2 ago, but here it is anyway.
So one night I was playing games and was on the phone with my sister, I was really bored and decided to pop the cork off my bottle of Whiskey and have a sip, eventually that led to me constantly doing that, and unbeknownst to lil ol drunk me, I drank the entire bottle of Whiskey in 2 hours.
Skip to the next morning, I wake up, only not remembering the sleeping process (yknow finding the right position to sleep), i find my phone on my bed and realize I didn’t charge it, there was something on the back that I just scraped off and went to use my phone, I turned around and saw that one side of my sheet was covered in a brown stain, I look to the other side and same thing but more, I then came to the conclusion that I puked in my sleep, I went to wash it and then headed to work while still tipsy.
While at work everyone I told about it told me how dangerous that was cause I easily could’ve drowned on my own puke. That thought never came to my head and I honestly didn’t think it was that big of a deal, I thought it was just a really immature decision.
TLDR: Drank an entire bottle of Whiskey in 2 hours, puked in my sleep, learned I easily could’ve died
Feellikedancing: Now, you’re 100% sure you didn’t shit yourself?
MVBanter: If i did that would’ve meant I did a 180 while asleep and shit right next to the pillow on both sides but not on the pillow
Feellikedancing: 
MVBanter: Yes, i suppose there is a chance lol
| 5 | 5.6 | |
1655233954 | 1655259856 | t3_vcb2qn | t5_2to41 | 4 | Glittering_Piano_886: TIFU- Basically told cute girl to FO…
Obligatory not today, but a few months ago(like 5-6 months ago)
So, I just got out of my truck from pumping gas and was with a friend. Followed friend inside and payed for the gas…[some BG info, I’m single and have always been…] and as I’m walking inside, two cute girls around my age passed and about 10ft or so past me, she yells to me “You’re cute” and I kept walking 😭 😭 I have social anxiety and didn’t know what do to then and have never had that happen before. I think it was also worse since I was with a friend.. but after that I have started working on talking to girls and stuff like that and have a few female friends now-they’re sadly taken lol
Now that I look back at that, I see how rude that was and probably one of the reasons I am still single. Fml 🤦♂️
If y’all see this who said that to me, I am sorry and wish for the best of luck to y’all. lol
TL;DR
Basically told girl to FO after giving me a compliment at gas station due to social anxiety.
SamIwas118: Can't date em without talking to them...
You indeed did fuck up sir.
Glittering_Piano_886: Yes. Agreed.
I felt really bad afterwards too and have been working on talking to people after that
SamIwas118: At least you learned from the experience
| 4 | 1 | |
1655235446 | 1655244608 | t3_vcbmef | t5_2to41 | 5 | sweylyn1: TIFU again by asking the person I was an asshole to to come roast me
TIFU AGAIN by having the audacity to ask them to come roast me.
I posted my TIFU story not too long ago, in which I described how much of a moron and asshole I was to the first person I felt genuinely connected to by asking them what I did.
Now, I posted the link to it on my Twitter profile and asked people to come roast me. If this wouldn't have been enough, **I also PM-ed _them_** and told them to come and roast me, because I want to feel awful for what I'd done to them!
Well, I did achieve my goal. I feel a lot more awful for harassing that poor person even more!
TL;DR: **I continued harassing that poor soul whom I was a ginormous asshole to, by asking them to come roast me, because I want to feel even more awful for what I'd done to them!**
dpg3456: I was trying to find first post, and I think your profile gave me cancer.
Brandeeno2245: It can't be that bad
monorchism: It’s close, maybe aids or the clap, some sorta sti, probably not cancer
Brandeeno2245: Agreed, I looked and it's just kind sad and cringy
| 5 | 1 | |
1655235534 | 1655236207 | t3_vcbnh2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by performing "dentistry" on myself.
[deleted]
twohedwlf: Everyone hates dentists, I've always found the worst part to be the local anaesthetic though. And they're usually pretty good if you TELL them they're doing something and it still hurts.
A-Dolahans-hat: After recently having 3 cavities filled and talking to my dentist, the lower jaw is much harder to numb due to bone density and blood flow. The top is normally easy to numb.
For my cavity in the lower jaw, my dentist had to stop 3 different times to add more numbing.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1655236049 | 1655237069 | t3_vcbugg | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By Wearing A Hair Ribbon On My Birthday
[removed]
carbinePRO: This reads like fanfiction. Bad fanfiction.
GrindingNeverStops: Fr
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655237215 | 1655247274 | t3_vcca7t | t5_2to41 | 40 | EloiseVan: TIFU I Got too drunk and told a guy I was crazy on the first date
Damn so I thought the first date with this guy went semi well. Got drinks, hooked up, overall nice time. I knew I got too drunk, but didn’t think I blew it (my memory was a tad blurry from that night though). Planned on a second date and he says he just wants to keep things casual, he doesn’t want anything serious. I was fine with that, kinda good with whatever. Anything to kill the loneliness and the dude was nice. Fast forward past second hook up and onto third date/hook up. He lets me know that he hit it off with this girl and they’re going on a real date next week and he sees a potential for something serious with her. I get a little confused and was just like I thought you didn’t want anything serious right now or was that just nothing serious with me? And enter my fuck up. Apparently, on our first date (in the blurry portion of my memory), I had told this dude I was literally crazy, like not well. And that was why he actually didn’t want anything serious with me. Then he gave me the opportunity to explain why I said that, and (on the third date) I proceeded to talk about how my mental health is not great, dissociating a shit ton, and sometimes have a problem with alcohol (have a therapist but still) and that’s why my browned out brain probably said some screws were loose. And dug myself deeper in the undatable hole. So pro dating tip: either have mental stability or don’t fucking get trashed and say you’re crazy (don’t really think I am crazy but that’s for the gods to decide). Sober first dates for the future seem like the way to go lol.
TL;DR got too drunk on first date, said I was crazy, and fucked up my chance at dating a dude
DapperInvestment467: Damn, that really hurts indeed when a guy says he wants something casual and then a few weeks later he says he met someone that he wants to be serious with :(
NorCalAthlete: I know this is an unpopular opinion but guys don’t know how to break up with a crazy chick very well. There is real risk of shit going down if you just outright reject her. Risks include everything from getting stabbed / shot to having your car set on fire (or maybe your home, hopefully at least neither with you inside.) Other risks include false rape accusations, false abuse allegations, GVROs, etc.
And yeah I know some of those risks are just seen as normal risks for women to break up with anyone no matter how sane they seem. Doesn’t invalidate my point or make it any better / worse.
DapperInvestment467: Are you from the USA? Where I come from people don’t randomly stab, let alone shoot someone if they are hurt
AwkwardSquirtles: Sane people don't. He very specifically said "crazy".
| 5 | 8 | |
1655238959 | 1655291071 | t3_vccxu0 | t5_2to41 | 340 | Warbec: TIFU by telling my fiance a NSFW dream I had with her
[removed]
pierophoenix: My friend, it's not going to seem like it now, but you moat likely saved yourself from a bitter decade or two. If she was feeling this way when you moved in together, yet was still discussing having a baby. I think you would've been for a whole lot worse had this not happened.
You have my deepest sympathies, because your situation is so screwed up and not on you. But I do think once you beat this, you'll honestly be better for it!
Warbec: Thank you for your kind words. Yes... it would have been allot worse if this happened after kids and whatnot...
pierophoenix: You've got this my friend! Hang in there and hopefully karma rewards you for staying strong!
Warbec:  \\m/
| 5 | 68 | |
1655239489 | 1655240172 | t3_vcd4wq | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to do something nice for someone and then being an actual coward.
[deleted]
ckoden84: TLDR You took someone's bad day away from them and made it your own. As a veteran myself, I salute you.
ckoden84: Also... Dress uniforms suck. -shudders-
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1655240458 | 1655414275 | t3_vcdi31 | t5_2to41 | 206 | HeatInTheSheets: TIFU by making my girlfriend feel too hot
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but rather 4 years ago.
In late 2018, I \[20sM\] began a relationship with a girl \[20sF\] I had a crush on for what feels like forever. However, we were living in different cities at the time so I although we had gone of a couple of dates, we were yet to spend the night together. As things turned out, she moved to another different city to go to college, and this involved living in a dorm.
I was working for a tech company for just about a year by then, the workload and the long hours left me quite burnt out and I was much in need of a vacation. So once she got settled in, we planned to spend a few days together as this is what we had been looking forward to since we got together.
I took a late night flight to her city and knocked on her dorm room door at 7 am on a winter morning, as happy as I could be, after all, I had never been in a relationship before, and on the other side of this door was the woman of my dreams. She opened the door, and I still remember how warm her hug felt. After talking for an hour or so, we decided we would sleep a little longer and then go about the rest of our day exploring the city.
A wonderful (but oddly tiring) 12 hours later, we returned to her dorm room late at night. This is where the mess up begins - this dorm room was meant for one person to live in, so the bed was quite narrow. But being two young people in love, we decided it was the perfect size for us, as we would be cuddling and spooning through the whole night either way. However, the next morning, as I kiss my girlfriend awake, she mentions how she wasn't comfortable throughout the night.
Although it was a cold night otherwise, she found herself uncomfortable and sweaty under the blanket because we were so close together. Despite getting rid of the blanket, my body heat was still enough to disturb her sleep. We both were caught off guard by this, as we imagined all couples slept better if not were comfortable snuggling each other. I personally did not feel hot at all (the opposite, if anything) so I was particularly crushed that I might not get to be as close with her as I imagined.
But to ensure she wouldn't go sleepless for the rest of my stay (not in the fun way anyway) we decided to check into a hotel. While walking on the way there however, I started feeling light-headed, and then a wave of nausea made me puke almost on the spot. This had literally never happened to me before, so we rushed to a doctor.
A blood test and some IV later, my extremely concerned girlfriend and I find out why I had so much body heat the previous night. I was sick with typhoid fever and was running a high temperature. I had been for weeks, even before I came over. I had a mild case, which went unnoticed because I chalked up my fatigue to working long hours. It got worse over time, causing me to think it was burn out and that I needed a break. The overnight flight journey and physical exertion pushed me over the edge and sent me to the hospital.
On the bright side, once I took my antibiotics and got better, I did not have a crazy high body temperature anymore, which meant my girlfriend wasn't snuggling an active volcano every night. We quickly went back to snuggling every chance we got, and it felt even more loving and comforting than we had ever imagined. 4 years now, and I still can't get enough of her! (If you're reading this babe, I love you more than I could ever tell you.)
​
TL;DR
Went to sleep cuddling my girlfriend for the first time, only for her to complain the next morning that she couldn't sleep because of how hot my body heat made her. Turns out that was because I had a high fever from typhoid that I didn't know I had for weeks.
EfficientHospital130: Congratulations....you cuddled and wrote a book about it. 👍👍😏
FreeOffbrandTherapy: "The Cuddling" by Richard I. C. Chubbs"
"Heat in the sheets" - autobiographical quote from reddit
~~~
"Congratulations....you cuddled and wrote a book about it." - quote from reddit, EfficientHospital130
~~~
"A bloody waste of my time reading it... ...and writing about it, come to think of it!" - a quote from reddit, me, now.
P.S well done on your cuddle, Sir! You have done yourself as a man proud. Society has not been let down by you this life-time&state.
DyslexicScriptmonkey: The feel good book of the Summer. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you sleepy.
LesterOfTheWeevils: Plot Twist: OP is actually George R.R. Martin. There might be a tv show, but you aint gonna be reading a book.
DyslexicScriptmonkey: Great. The ending is going to suck!
| 6 | 34.333333 | |
1655241031 | 1655246348 | t3_vcdppo | t5_2to41 | 5 | BurritoSans666: TIFU by telling my girlfriend I am a communist.
I told my girlfriend I was a communist.
Now, some of you may have already heard my woeful tale but I shall retell it just in case. Also, I’ve had some updates from this whole situation so even if you heard it before, there’s some more stuff to be heard.
Obligatory this didn’t happen today it was like a week and a half ago.
So basically, I told my girlfriend that I was a communist, we joke about it sometimes but today she said it was finally enough. She abruptly left my house and she hasn’t spoken to me in days. She’s blocked me on everything. Her parents disapprove of me already but this was the last straw. It’s saddening to see such a beautiful relationship go because of my political alignment but hey ho.
Now for the update. She did actually unblock me on Xbox and I asked her if we could talk but she has said that she doesn’t want to talk any more. It’s sad but i guess I shouldn’t joke about being a communist anymore.
Tl;Dr I told my girlfriend I was a communist and she broke up with me. Don’t make the same mistake.
MuskyLion: What country are you from?
BurritoSans666: Great Britain!
MuskyLion: Oooooh... Yeah, your political parties are no joking matter. Almost as serious as football team support.
BurritoSans666: I have never supported football so don’t really get that analogy but will keep that in mind lmfaoooo
MuskyLion: Oooh wow. Yeah, you're a bit of an outlier. Well good luck!
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1655241825 | 1655242425 | t3_vcdzvi | t5_2to41 | 16 | Chickentenderstip: TIFU by not having enough money to tip the waitress
I’m at a restaurant right now and I want to order chicken tenders. They cost $11.39 but apparently with tax they cost like $14 for the whole meal. I legit have only $15 in my whole bank account. Am I an asshole if I don’t tip today? I always tip but I’m struggling financially right now. I just don’t have it.
I asked about the price when I sat down and I felt awkward leaving after being told the price. Maybe even embarrassed. I believe in tipping but like I said I’m broke basically.
Maybe I’m selfish for not choosing somewhere cheaper to eat but I haven’t eaten all day and I want a whole good meal. I don’t know what I’m going to do about food tomorrow but today I’ve got $15.
I know some people are going to say go to McDonalds but that food just doesn’t make me feel the best and it isn’t that good. I guess beggars can’t be choosers but that’s just how I’m feeling right now.
Tl;dr I don’t have enough money to tip
TicklesMcFancy: The fucked up thing is that the Waitress should be making $18/hr and tips can go to hell.
Laudanumium: This !
And a thought, if you get some more to spend next time, just put it aside and tell her ' I missed last time'
Don't tell the reason, it's the thought that counts.
But even here in NL the serving staff is underpaid, and the employers still think they're getting the high life on tips.
My wife gets around 6% average lately, and it is even divided among all workers.
So end of the month she gets around 3% if noone of the employees made a calculating error in the table bills.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1655241500 | 1655242754 | t3_vcdvst | t5_2to41 | 24 | AdWonderful3810: TIFU by not listening to a friend
This FU ends today. It started in January I think.
A professor sent an email to everyone in the department at the beginning of the winter semester. He was looking for a student for his research. I knew one of my friends worked with him, so I sent an answer to the professor. After a simple meeting, he accepted I start research with him this summer.
I sent a message on discord to my friend telling him we would work in the same lab. He said he no longer worked for that teacher, due to communication conflicts. He had a problem with him. I was basically taking the spot of said friend. I know my friend can sometimes be difficult, so I thought it was a him problem and not the professor fault. This is my FU. I should have listen.
So, I started researching with a professor this summer. He forwarded an email about how his lab was participating to a conference in May. I thought it meant I should go too (since I am part of his lab theoretically) I bought the train tickets and booked the hotel for the whole week. However, two weeks before the conference, he told me he was going to his home country with his family and would not be there for the month. Since I already bought the tickets, I decided to go to the conference alone. There was no one I knew, everyone knew each other. He did not even ask his friends to mentor me or look out for me. I had a panic attack and ended up spending the rest of the week in the hotel room.
He never gave me the date for his return. I was just supposed to wait for him. He told me: beginning of June. So every day, from the first, I looked at my emails once a day. He sent me a message on the 6th, I answered on the 7th that I could on the 9th (on the 8th, I had to get my boyfriend from the airport from a trip I couldn’t go on, since I thought, I was supposed to wait for the professor). On the 9th, he is late. I stopped waiting after 15 minutes. He sent me a message after 40 minutes telling me there is 20 minutes left to the hour. I was not waiting anymore, so I did not get the message until the 20 minutes have passed. Then I sent him a mail saying I did not see the message until it was too late and logged out of my email. On Sunday, when I finally opened my emails again, I saw he sent me an email saying he was still waiting for 20 minutes more. I sent him an email saying I was free on Monday. On Monday, he sends me an email that he isn’t free on Monday, but is free on Tuesday. Tuesday, today, I send him an email asking him when he was free. We were finally in a zoom call. Here are what each of us said. I do not remember the exact order of what was said but here are the arguments on both sides:
He said:
You lack professionalism, you do not answer your email on time!
I said:
40 minutes. You should not have scheduled a meeting when you could not come
He said:
I was in an important meeting with someone important!
I said:
You could have scheduled the meeting at a different time
He said:
I am the professor, you are the student, you do not tell me how I run my lab.
I said:
I did not even know when you were coming back, did you expect me to just wait for a month in from of my computer?
He said:
If it was not at distance, this is exactly what you should have done: stay in front of your computer, doing nothing until I was finished. This is just like if you were in the lab. You should have waited. There is schoolwork, there is project and then there are research project. They do not have the same expectation. If you are not happy with this, we cannot work together.
I said:
We cannot work together.
He asked me to tell someone to give him access to the work I did on the computer, which I did. I sent an email asking him to sign the fact I was changing program. He did not do so. So I am still stuck with him until he decides to sign the paper.
​
TL;DR My friend had a bad experience with a professor. I did not listen to him and took the same professor. I'm still regretting it
SlammyWhammies: I mean this guy sounds awful, but this is definitely poor communication on your end too.
You booked a whole trip without double checking he meant for you to go, and only check your email once per day?
AdWonderful3810: I agree that the trip is my fault. This is why I did not bring it up to him when I confronted him.
First, the research lab was supposed to reimburse you for your your trip, however, since I felt and still feel ashamed of how I handled it(I only went the first day, the rest, I watched it on the online stream), I never asked.
Also the trip was not very far, it was a three hour trip by train and I thought I could handle it. I clearly could not, I agree this part is my fault, but I had to mention it to give context to why I was so done with him
| 3 | 8 | |
1655243506 | 1655247022 | t3_vceklh | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting intimate with my gf while her dad was home
[deleted]
baybe123: How old are you
Darth_Andeddeu: Under 15 issue, over 15 dad should have said knock it off an embarrassed them.
baybe123: Personally I'd say 15 or under its an issue. 16 or over then can laugh it off more. Under 18 need to have this embarrassment to learn. Over 18 should know everyone has to sit on that sofa 😂😂
Darth_Andeddeu: At 18 go full out ' I did your mom there this morning, I guess that's the sex couch now'
321ID0ntCare: I don’t have a mom so what woman did you do in my house?
Darth_Andeddeu: Escort service
321ID0ntCare: Ah I see still don’t know how you got in but don’t care. Carry on with you day well.
| 8 | 3.875 | |
1655243771 | 1655247329 | t3_vcenuu | t5_2to41 | -1 | Silent_Artist25: TIFU by leaving my baby locked inside of car.
It actually happened today and I'm crying out of pure rage and dissapointment in myself as I'm writting this.
Today was a beautiful day where I live and my husband and I planned out a family bbq for tomorrow, so I had to go grocery shopping. He was busy with mowing and helping our neighbours, so I had to take our 6 month old baby girl with me. I left her at my mother's and father's place. Before I continue, let me just say how perfect she is: she is super healthy, sleeps well both during the day and night, eats well, gets along with everyone, smiles all the time, plays by herself and never could I, as a "fresh" mom, dream of having such a beautiful baby. Every day spent with her is such a joy and delight.
So, as I slurped my coffee at my parents' home, I left my baby girl with them. I spent one and a half hour on shopping and I came back half past 7. We chatted a little bit more and packed us for going home. I live 10 minutes away from my parents, so I had to get home in time in order to put my baby asleep.
As I put her in the car, with the baby seat and everything else I carried with me today, I (somehow ignorantly) tossed my key on drivers' seat so I can put her seat belt on without having a distraction in my hand. I NEVER do that out of fear that THIS will happen if I leave the car keys inside and the car gets locked. Well guess what? It happened. As I shut the door where my baby was sitting, I realize I left the keys inside.
Panic attack. Shaking intensively. Trying to break into the car as I was some sort of a maniac. My baby starts crying out of confusion and I start crying as well. How could I be so stupid and clumsy like that? My parents are freaking out too, but managing to calm me down as much as they can. I rushed inside their house (my phone was in the car too) to call a car mechanic living nearby, but I figured my husband has the spare key, so it would be easier that way. My mom hits their neighbours' car as she was parking out to go and pick my husband up to get that spare key. Panic intensifies. She made a little bump on their car, but nothing significant. Minutes felt like hours. Our baby girl was calm as I sang her a song she loves, "Five little monkeys jumping on the bed", through the window. My mom must have been driving like a freaking Formula 1 driver as she and my husband arrived less then 15 minutes later.
Our baby girl was totaly fine. Thankfully, my car was parked in the shade of trees in front of my parents' house so she wasn't hot or uncomfortable or anything like that. As I opened the door I got her on my chest and hugged her like never before. She was trapped for 20 minutes in that car, but God, it felt like forever when panic kicks in. Now, there she is, in her crib, asleep like nothing happend.
I can't stop crying. My husband didn't say a word about it, but he didn't say anything to comfort me either, but I totally understand. We didn't talk much while driving nor at home. Right now I feel like such a piece of sh*t. Like I don't deserve to be a mom. I know it can happen, it wasn't intentional, but I can't help myself feeling this way.
Learn from my mistake folks. Don't EVER leave the car keys inside of your car, not even for a second.
TL;DR: I left my car keys inside of car and my baby was trapped for 20 minutes.
arondaniel: Tesla vehicles have "dog mode" that will keep the interior safe when parked. It also displays the interior temp on the screen so nobody freaks out and smashes the windows.
With "dog mode" you can leave your fur babies in the car for short periods of time.
You Must Never Ever leave a child unattended in a car! But if you fuck up, Tesla (and possibly other electric cars) can save their lives.
edge_lord_troll: "fur babies" 🤮
/r/dogfree
arondaniel: /r/childfree so what?
Orbnotacus: Look at his username bro, he's just doing his job.
| 5 | -0.2 | |
1655243883 | 1655244444 | t3_vcep8e | t5_2to41 | 2 | Narrow_Truth_2715: TIFU by not keeping my problems to myself
TL;DR: I couldn't bear the thought of lying to my girlfriend, so I told her my issues and I broke it off. I still love her, she hates me.
This actually happened months ago, but here it goes.
I broke up with a girl, we'll call her Rose, after a toxic relationship in early 2020. It was toxic to the point where, unbeknownst to me, I developed some sort of emotional dependence towards her. Still, she suggested we remained friends, and I agreed. Fast forward half a year, I suddenly get this message from Rose telling me she knows someone who's been in love with me since before we got together. I knew her very well, and I really liked her, so I decided to give it a go. This new girl, Susan, and I, go on a few dates. I already knew she was a very interesting girl, though I never realized how unique she was.
To me, Susan was everything Rose could never be: she showed genuine appreciation for me, she and I would talk for literal hours without ever running out of things to say. She was also quite insecure, and I was ever happy to see her leave her insecurities behind as we developed a strong relationship. It felt perfect.
Then I started getting messages from Rose, telling me she missed me, she loved me, she would never find someone like me. She was already with another guy and I was very happy with Susan. But I would wake up and first message in the morning would be: "I miss you so much, Narrow_Truth". Since this happened during a period of time in which I was out of town, I would reply things like: "I'll be back in town soon, and we can hang out, Susan, friend1, friend2, friend3, you, and I to celebrate". I honestly didn't want a thing other than friendship with Rose, but it started getting on my nerves, and from my nerves got to the point where I started questioning many things.
I then realised that I had developed this emotional dependence towards Rose. I felt awful. I felt like I had cheated on Susan. I hated myself from that point on. And Susan noticed.
One day, when I was in the midst of a complete mental breakdown, she asked how I was. And I couldn't hold it in. I feared that Susan, the person I love most, would be hurt that I try to hide something. So I poured everything out. I told her everything that happened through my mind and through my heart.
I love her now, and I loved her then. I felt horrible, like confessing to the most horrendous crimes. It's like I could see her feelings flinching with every new idea I spat, every new fear I had, every strange insecurity. I know it hurt her a lot. I knew it then, but I just couldn't stop myself.
And then I really f*cked up. In fear of hurting her even more, feeling as if I could only be useful to hurt her, I told her I didn't want to keep the relationship going. I felt like it would hurt her less in the long run. I hope I was right.
But the thing is, I never stopped loving her. She is the most important person to me, and I still see her as the awesome person she is, still is to me as interesting, intelligent, funny, outgoing and gorgeous as she was when we were happily together. And I've gotten over my issues with Rose and over many other issues I didn't know I had.
But I hurt her bad. And she hates me for it. "It's not that I don't want a relationship with you, it's that I don't even want to see you. Your presence makes me anxious, and I hate you" she said, the only time I brought this to her.
I can only hope that she is very happy and doing very well now, and that I did the right thing. I doubt you'll see this, but I love you, my dear Sahara.
(Disclaimer: Sahara is not her actual name, it's a nickname)
johnmeeks1974: Rose played you.
Edited to correct my comment
Narrow_Truth_2715: It was Rose. After Susan and I ended, Rose told me to never talk about our relationship ever again because she felt guilty. She had been using me to get affection, care and nice things out of me. But what hurts me more is almost completely my fault.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1655245461 | 1655332858 | t3_vcf8pn | t5_2to41 | 5,550 | gobbledat: TIFU by Accidentally Liking a Facebook Post
On Thanksgiving of 2019, I was outside a gas station after an evening of drinking with my friends. I had just been denied a handle of vodka for being obviously intoxicated, so I was looking for someone to buy me more. I had recently turned 21, so I was used to persuading older men like that. I was also deep into addiction and basically a prostitute, but I just took alcohol and drugs instead of money. Anyway, I noticed an older couple coming out. I’ll call them Dick and Kitty: they were vintage hot, in a loud party mood, and Dick was wearing a pineapple print button up. I wondered if they were swingers (because pineapple duh) and saw this as an opportunity to party. I started talking to them and was picking up a vibe, when Kitty asked if I wanted to get a drink, so I obviously agreed. Instead of going back into the gas station, they started walking back to their truck. I figured we were going to a bar or something. During the ride, they were overly friendly and Kitty was already pretty wasted. She kept forcing chips and soda onto me and it was awkward. I started to wonder if I was getting kidnapped as an adult lol. When she was pulling everything out of her purse, she accidently dropped an empty mini shot that rolled under the seat, but didn’t see that I noticed. I was so distracted from the conversation and forceful generosity, that I didn’t even realize when they took me to their house.
Against my better judgement, I went inside with them. tbh it wasn’t that weird for me to hang out with random strangers at this point in my life. They started putting leftovers away in the kitchen, so I excused myself to the bathroom. After admittedly snooping, I found something stronger than ibuprofen in a prescription ibuprofen bottle. I recognized it immediately, did a line, and popped a few in my bra for keeps. Their house had lots of Christian decor and I don’t judge, but I was starting to wonder if I misread their lifestyle entirely. Anyway, I was motivated to keep snooping and found a drawer with a false back. I hoped it was money (since they didn’t even bother hiding their drugs), but when I got it open, I was shook. It was a disturbingly realistic, ginormous dildo… and I thought it would be funny/sexy to surprise them with it lmao. Regrettably, I also used their razor to shave my lady bits (yikes). I left the bathroom, hiding the dildo behind my back, and could barely contain myself because I thought this would be such a surprise. It obviously was, but not in a way I could have prepared for. I followed their voices into the formal dining room where they were sitting with another, younger guy.
I was expecting to see the two of them with drinks, but the table was set with paper plates of Thanksgiving food. The extra company, holiday dinner, and lack of alcohol worried me that I did misread the situation entirely. I hesitated to sit, wondering if I should just run away, but Dick got up to pour everyone glasses of red wine. I was anticipating shots, but figured they must be classy. I thought at least I’d be able to get more drunk. The young guy was pretty cute, so I was also interested to see how this swinger situation would go down. This was my first orgy. I decided to wait on revealing the surprise until we were having more fun, so I kept the dildo hidden between my back and the chair when I sat down. I was confused about the leftovers (because it was probably Friday morning at this point), but I brushed it off as an attempt at romance. Everyone was acting weird and not really talking though, so I quickly downed my glass of wine. When I asked if I could have another glass, Dick uncomfortably said that was the last of it. At a dinner party I would understand he was politely declining, but I was annoyed and confused why they brought me there to drink in the first place.
Since I was ready to bounce, I decided to see what was up. I jokingly replied to Dick something like, “Since there’s no more wine, maybe we could do some shots.” gesturing to Kitty, trying to ease the tension. The dude next to me looked like I had three heads.
Kitty straight faced, looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t drink alcohol.” She had this pretentious tone about it too. I didn’t know if they were fucking with me or what. Then I noticed Dick never poured her a glass of wine and I tried to process wtf was going on. Everyone was starting at me like I was crazy, but in my unsober state of mind, I somehow found this hilarious.
Starting to realize what was up, I teasingly asked her, “What? Were the fireball shots in your purse virgin? I thought you invited me over to party!” The silence was loud. Dick immediately went over to her purse and dumped the bottles out onto the table.
Kitty hysterically shrieks, pointing at me, “That junkie must have hid them in my purse! I knew we shouldn’t have invited her!” Then she turns and shouts at the guy next to me, “See how you’ll turn out if you keep doing drugs? You’ll have to rely on the kindness of strangers for a warm meal, like this poor girl.” (tbh that part still rattles around in my mind sometimes) The dots were connecting that they thought I was some kind of bad example or charity case.
Dick came over to me and said, “It’s time for you to go.” He stood there for a long time with his hand reached out, while I tried to figure out how to deal with the massive dildo behind me. Finally, I decided to just say fuck it (not literally).
When I stood up from my chair, Kitty went, “What is that?!” which I find hilarious in retrospect. The humor isn’t enough to help me cope with trauma I still have though lmao.
An angry expression swept across Dick’s face and my stomach dropped. Suddenly feeling the need to defend myself in order to escape, I word vomit, “I’m sorry. I found it in your bathroom. I thought it would be funny. I’m sorry.” The young dude went ew wtf, got up from the table, and left. Unfortunately, I felt like my feet were glued to the floor. Kitty whispered through her teeth, “That is not mine.” At first I assumed she was lying about that too, but I started to believe her when I looked between her and Dick. As they were glaring at each other, I seized the moment and began backing out of the room. Dick started to say, “Kitty I’m sorry…” and I was about to slip away unnoticed. Tragically, that’s when I actually slipped in a puddle of vomit in their hallway. As if it couldn’t get worse, I heard someone call out, “Biscuit!” (lord, I’m sorry) The couple runs into their living room, where the guy was cradling their presumably dead dog and sobbing. Everyone starts frantically going, “What happened? Did he get hurt? Did he get into something?” I quickly got up and noticed a half-chewed pill in the pile of foam and dog food. Immediately, I became overwhelmed with guilt.
I rationalized to myself that anyone could have dropped the pill and that they weren’t even mine, to assure myself that I wasn’t a murderer. With that, I turned on my heels and sprinted out their front door. About halfway down the next street, I remembered that I gave them my fake name, and started walking to look more casual. A police car drove past me with their lights off, but didn’t stop. The adrenaline canceled out the drugs and alcohol enough for me to find my way out of their neighborhood (thank god), and back onto the main road that the gas station was on. I sat down on the curb because I started to feel sick and, not a minute later, another cop shows up. This time with their lights on. Thinking I was about to get arrested for killing a dog, I started sobbing. They did end up arresting me, but for public intoxication, not homicide. Apparently, I was sitting right across from a DUI checkpoint (stupid). They also found the pills in my bra and, long story short, I was fucked. I spent a hot minute in prison and thought of it as justice for Biscuit the whole time.
I had no intention of getting clean by the time I got out, but made progress in rehab as part of my probation. The constant drug tests forced me to, anyway. While I still do SW, I’m no longer an escort. I have a criminal record now, which screws up a lot of potential career options, but life is better. I have my own an apartment, my own cat, and am California sober lol. You might be thinking, “Good for you OP, you undeserving whore, but 2019 was more than a day ago!” If so, you’re right. Less then 24 hours ago, I was on my phone and came across a suggested profile on Facebook. I live in a small town and, sure enough, it was Kitty! I stalked her page and learned that I caused more chaos in their lives than I thought. She ended up going to rehab for alcohol (idk about the drugs) shortly after Christmas of that year. She attributes her sobriety to her faith and her posts are interesting… good for her though. They are divorced and Dick has since remarried. He lives up to his namesake, because he’s now a seemingly happily married to a gay man. I found out the young man was their son, which makes me feel weird about imagining them as lovers in retrospect. Based off his posts, I think he’s closer with his mom. Good news is that Biscuit seemed to have recovered, because he died recently in 2021. Bad news is that when I was scrolling through their son’s page, I accidently liked something he posted… so I deleted all of my social media incase they recognized me. I’ll never live that night down.
TL;DR I had to delete years’ worth of social media, because I accidently liked a Facebook post while creeping on a guy from the worst night of my life. I refuse to live with everyone knowing the story of that traumatic Thanksgiving, or with that family knowing who I really am.
DasRedBeard87: Can't you just click the like button again and it removes it?
TikaPants: It still shows in notifications as I understand it
Aa8aa8: I’m glad I’m only now finding this out…I too would have deleted my account out of embarrassment. Nothing came of it.
TikaPants: Yeah it’s so damn easy to accidentally like something if you’re creeping. I’ve done it on IG. I just don’t look at accounts I shouldn’t anymore.
YGurka: IG is top offender in accidental likings.
You are just clicking through stories to get rid of them and boom you sent heart emoji to someone you spoke to once five years ago.
Painting_Agency: I was reading your comment and I didn't understand why that would be a big deal. But then again my Instagram is just pictures of my Warhammer figures, and not pictures of my ass 😒
Resafalo: Post warhammer figurines posing on your ass, call it Asshammer
Painting_Agency: *Hammered in my ass by my custom Adeptus Astartes successor chapter the Asshammers*, by Chuck Tingle.
Resafalo: Idk if this I herassy but it definitely deserves an assterminatus
| 10 | 555 | |
1655247886 | 1655258502 | t3_vcg16t | t5_2to41 | 7 | BadChristianskater: TIFU by trying to be a real Christian
[removed]
NoExample2491: Yikes. Lots of people twist the words of the Bible to fit their own agenda. The submissive wife verse is one of countless examples.
Wind_Responsible: Ikr. Bible also says to be a strong woman. If your husband is a loser you're encouraged to take the reigns and not wallow in poverty and socially awkward moments
NoExample2491: Men like to use that verse on women. And some crazy women like to use “husbands, cling to your wives” to manipulate. I am pretty sure the Bible isn’t to be taken literally. Surely not.
Wind_Responsible: The Bible is meant to change. That's why it tells folks that it'll be written about for all time.
Thing that really gets me about religion is the extreme distances folks will go to make themselves somehow a different believer when everyone believes the same base thing....Don't be a dick is the gist of most faiths
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1655248913 | 1655330681 | t3_vcgdhn | t5_2to41 | 14 | xXLuggiXx1: TIFU by falling asleep while eating chocolate
The following story happened just a few minutes ago.
This evening I was craving chocolate so I took a whole bar of nice dark chocolate with me to my room and snacked a bit while watching a movie. I was already in bed and it was very late and + I was exhausted from a whole day of studying so I just randomly fell asleep. Most of you can probably tell where this fuck up is going.
So in the middle of the night I wake up. That's nothing special, the moon is very bright tonight and my sleep cycle is fucked up. But something is off. A weird warm feeling. So I look under my blanket and all I see is brown smears on my legs, back, the bedsheets, my pillow and even my ass and underwear. Like you can imagine I immediately thought: **Oh shit**. Literally. It just looked like I had a terrible diarrhea *accident* while sleeping and I just wanted to die on that spot honestly. But then I smelled it. It didn't smell like shit, but good and that's the point where I remembered. The chocolate must have found its way from my hand to under my lower back somehow while I was sleeping and there it melted. It's not as bad as shitting my bad but almost. Even though it was 1am I got up, quietly changed my clothes and bedsheets and washed them in the sink with soap so my parents wouldn't think I shit myself when they find the laundry. (I don't know if the chocolate story might even be more embarrassing.) I couldn't get the stains out completely so I will probably tell them that I had a massive nosebleed because dried blood residue looks a lot like dark chocolate residue.
Tl;dr: I fell asleep on a chocolate bar and then woke up covered in its molten form.
JB3DG: https://i.imgur.com/r82Gw0D.png
xXLuggiXx1: Omg I love Links Awakening!
Edit: I saw the text on the T-shirt now
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1655249549 | 1655287720 | t3_vcgkod | t5_2to41 | 1,351 | [deleted]: TIFU by washing my gf's bra
[deleted]
OsoInNY: I've had this accidentally inflicted on me a few times. I'm a 34DDD.
If you suspect ANY KIND of elastic, lyrca, spandex, whatever, it does NOT go in the dryer. This can include jeans. Always includes bras, yoga pants and panties. Most jeans. Socks? Nobody cares.
They shrink. They will not fit afterwards, it's just the nature of the beast.
Also: wash hoodies you care about inside out, same goes for t-shirts. For anybody.
And for the love of god, check the pockets.
phyrestorm999: I'm confused. I wash everything together regardless of color or fabric type and then put the whole mess--including every single thing you said not to put in the dryer--in the dryer, and I've never had anything shrink. Not that I doubt you or anyone else who talks about their clothes shrinking or disintegrating when they're treated like I treat mine; I've just never had it happen to me. This has stayed consistent over 20+ years and multiple washers and dryers. Do I have the world's most boring superpower or what? :P
hastykoala: Probably the fabrics. Natural fabrics will shrink whereas blends won’t as much or at all.
I don’t put my clothes in the dryer bc the dryer makes them less soft.
phyrestorm999: That seems reasonable, but the person above specified several artificial fibers as what NOT to put in the dryer.
TimeTomorrow: it's the elastic part you have to worry about. 100% synthetic t shirt? will last forever no matter what you do. Something where elastic working well is the whole point? skip the dryer.
phyrestorm999: My elastics seem to be immortal too, though. I've got yoga pants, stretchy shirts, etc. that are 10+ years old. The shorts I'm wearing right now have an elastic waistband and must have been through the wash 50 times.
oldpricklybastard: Nylon. Polyester synthetic. Look at the tags. As for things like jeans those literally will go through the wash a million times yet it's not typical cotton its denim. Which is a by product of Cotton and they weave it. Till weave or something like that. Hell I have Levi's I wore in the 90s. That still fit. A couple inches too big gotta get back up to weight. Anyway the point is yoga pants will probably last forever they are synthetic. I'm guessing you could rub through them in time but the washer and dryer isn't going to hurt it. Expensive things like real fur or silks real fibers that haven't been processed down to nothing then pressed back together with a bunch of synthetic fiber to make a single fiber. These things will not tolerate your washer and dryer. They shrink. If it says dry clean on the tag. I'd highly recommend following that tags instructions.
| 8 | 168.875 | |
1655250602 | 1655303364 | t3_vcgx4u | t5_2to41 | 5 | badboysinner: TIFU by having a sex drive
[removed]
LunaAndSoul: I feel you. I am with the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met, but I’ve spent a while trying to date before I met her. Dating in America is pathetic. Radical progressives have made the general attitude towards white men more hostile and disrespectful. I will probably be the only person to agree with you OP. Feminism has made women a lot worse
timminycricket: On behalf of a whoooooole bunch of white men, we're not experiencing hostility. It's literally just you. I've already told OP why that is. Check above for that. I feel sorry for your gf. She will figure it out, hopefully before it's too late.
LunaAndSoul: Listen to you. Women can say they are oppressed and have it unfair, and people cheer. Men say the same thing, and they get mocked and shamed. This is exactly my point. Thank you for proving it. Liberals will never be able to see the extremes of their ways. Go ahead and keep proving my point correct
timminycricket: Men. Are. Not. Oppressed.
It's as simple as that.
I'm not saying you didn't go through any hardships. You may have. But no one has ever actually targeted you for being a white man. You have been targeted for shitty words and actions. Source: a white man who has only ever had those things thrown in his face when he was being a perfect example of a shitheel. Therapy will help you too. I suggest a Batterer's Intervention Program now before it becomes court ordered.
LunaAndSoul: You don’t get to invalidate my experiences. Plain and simple, if you can’t hear someone’s opinion without belittling them, then maybe you need to be the one to mature and grow. Therapy can help you mature and see things more objectively. Maybe you should give it a try. I live in California, trust me, people absolutely were and still are prejudice towards white men. Or are only minorities allowed to say that and not get ridiculed for it?
timminycricket: As another white man, yes, I can tell you your view is deluded and based on narcissism. Grew up in California. Okay. Maybe you were poor, went to an inner city school, and the other kids picked on you for being white. That sucks. But it doesn't extend to anything but childish name-calling and bullying. Maybe they even ganged up on you and beat you up. If so, I'm sorry that happened. No one should hurt you. If you couldn't peotect yourself, it wasn't your fault. But at the end of the day, get over yourself. That isn't oppression. That's playground bullying. The trauma in your past isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal from it. If you aren't a shitty person to women, they aren't going to call you a shitty person. And if you hear women talking about shitty men, you can rest assured that they aren't talking about you. But it starts with you. Be a better person.
LunaAndSoul: You will never see how ignorant you sound. You’re incredibly narrow sighted and insulting. If hearing someone else’s opinion and experiences offends you and you have to degrade them as a response, you have much worse mental issues than anyone you are insulting. I hope you seek help. I know you’ll never grow up on your own
timminycricket: Please, please go to therapy
LunaAndSoul: Someday you’ll grow up and stop trying insist there is something wrong with others because they have a different perspective than you. I pity you. Hope you like being alone
timminycricket: Friend, I'm nearly 40 and have been married for a good while now. I'm the expert giving you advice here. It's up to you to take it though
LunaAndSoul: Oh so you’re just out of touch with younger people. That explains it
timminycricket: Therapy. You need it.
LunaAndSoul: You need to learn how to argue with more valid points old man. All you keep saying is therapy. You’re not very good with your words. Must be getting a little senile
timminycricket: I'm not arguing, I'm advising. You are obviously holding onto a lot of anger. Let that go. It's poison. Don't be shitty to women or POC. I can't force you into therapy. The courts will do that eventually if you keep acting the way you're acting. I'm a stranger on the internet, and you are VERY upset that I suggest you be a better person. You could just ignore me, but it's just eating at you, isn't it. Therapy will help you with that.
LunaAndSoul: You are clearly not a not listener or communicator. I’ve expressed nothing to insinuate that I’m angry. You’re just incessantly talking about therapy because I’ve stated how society behaves. Like that’s some impossible reality and therapy cures all. Who says I’m not happy? At this point I think you have an unhealthy obsession with arguing online because you’re old and have nothing else to do. You can’t relate to how the world is anymore and are a skipping record recommending therapy to everyone like you’re some savior. How about you go get some therapy for your god complex, might help you get some real friends
timminycricket: Well, when the police pull you and 30 other angry white boys out of the back of a UHaul, I hope you think about this conversation. The world isn't out to get us, no matter how much you think it is.
LunaAndSoul: Sounds like you are a white man with a hatred of white men. Toxic liberal, go ahead and keep getting older and more out of touch. I hope you meet a nice black therapist you can get along with
| 18 | 0.277778 | |
1655251679 | 1655301591 | t3_vcha9r | t5_2to41 | 16 | IReallyFuckedUpAAA: TIFU my life maybe by having s with a neighbour
I know this is probably not the right subreddit but I need to speak it out as well as ask for help, it just happened and I'm in a complete daze.
For context although it doesn't really justify anything, I've always been a hedonistic mess; putting pleasure and relaxation before all my responsibilities. I've tried countless times to fix this flaw of mine and recently it started to get better. I'm M 20 and after repeating a couple years High School for just stupid reasons some of which are just me being me, I finally started to feel like I can move on with my life. I began applying to universities, and even found a summer job which takes all my evenings and nights but which makes decent money and makes me feel like a person. For further context I'm a bit of a loner in the worst way possible. Despite the fact that I love people I don't know how to maintain friendships and it has led me to have absolutely 0 friends outside of work.
This all led to today finding my about 5/10 30yo w two kids addicted neighbour while leaving work, walking together back to the rough couple of buildings we share, and her kissing me out of the blue. For reference we barely ever acknowledge and don't know anything about each other. One thing led to another and we ended up having unprotected s in the community garage and she kind of forced me into finishing inside her.
All I can think of rn is why. What decisions in my life led to this. What if she has some disease? What if she gets pregnant? I don't want to fuck up my as well as her life further cause I felt lonely one night. From what I saw she apparently wanted more, I don't. Furthermore I don't really know what to do or tell her since from what I've heard as well she's pretty aggressive and has smashed a coworker's friend in the face with a bottle. I'm also scared that it might come back and cause trouble for my family and coworkers since she knows both where I life roughly and where I work.
It's 2am I've got a million thoughts in my head and I really regret what I've done but I don't know what to do about any aspect of it except definitely getting a doctor's appointment and trying to confront her tomorrow about everything but I don't know how to do so or what to say or how she might respond to any of it. Hell I don't even know whether she's on birth control. What do I do? I don't want the rest of my life to be defined by a stupid mistake nor do I want this to affect her, or anyone around either of us.
I'm sorry for all the text.
TL:DR I had s with my neighbour I don't know unprotected. I might get a disease, she might be pregnant, I don't know how to tell her I don't want to do it again since she might harass my family and coworkers, and I need help.
drkrthnthspeedofliht: Never stick your dock in crazy
ssly-foxx: But we all know ‘crazy’ is always where it’s the best
drkrthnthspeedofliht: Then you get what you get.
| 4 | 4 | |
1655248782 | 1655279627 | t3_vcgbw7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | gamephoenixhd: TIFU by going into the woods, looking for some Beetles.
I was pretty bored at home, and i read that some really cool bugs are about to swarm.
So i went into the forest at midnight, hoping to find some stag beetles, but instead i found some oak processionary.. a lot of them.
So i stood underneath that oak for a solid 10 minutes, i was scanning each inch of the floor, looking for beetles.
I had heard some crackling in the trees before, while entering the forest, but thought nothing about it.
Then i wanted to investigate where that sound was coming from, so i looked up.
At first, i saw nothing but a few earwigs, till i looked at the stem.
I saw a line of about 15 oak processionarys, which to be fair, looked really cool.
But on further inspections, right next to my head, there was an 80 by 20 cm tall web, full of those nasty bugs.
My right eye is blind due to amblyopia, so i didn't see that thing while standing next to it. As of now, while i am texting this, i feel rather fine. My throat hurts, and my skin itches, but i'll see how i will feel in the morning.
Edit: its the next morning now, my skin itches, and my throat hurts like hell, but i luckily got no breathing problems. Stay carefull guys.
Tl:dr
Lovingnarc1976: I’m just glad I’m not the only person that goes into the woods looking for stag beetles. I had to Google oak processionary though. They’re cool, but the rash they can give looks awful.
gamephoenixhd: Where i am from, those things are a wildly known plague, sadly. I just completely forgot about their existence.
Sadly, i didn't find anything but those.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655251930 | 1655253492 | t3_vchd9m | t5_2to41 | 43 | Upper_Afternoon_1334: TIFU for forgetting my birth control patch
TL;DR: I forgot my Birth control patch, and had intercorse with my husband. now husband is upset and my mind is spiraling.
I'm doing this on mobile so format might be weird. Also sorry for the spelling and grammar
I am on a birth control patch. I have it on for 3 weeks then a week without it so I can go through shark week.
Well I forgot to put it a new patch on after the week break and my husband and I had intercorse one day out of the weekend (a day after i was suppose to have a new patch on.). Come monday, i come home from school and notice that i forgot my patch. My husband knew i was worried and ask me why. I told him and it seemed like he brushed it off.
Well my comment didnt sink in until today. He asked me about it and i explained further about the time lines.
Now he is upset with me. Telling me i should have done the shot or kept the nexplanon. He said why i forgot and i told him i wasnt thinking. He told me i should start. He went silent and told me to leave him alone and went to our room. He came out and told me he was frustrated and he talked to my mother about it. He told me not to worry about it and asked me just to make dinner.
I am scared about if im pregnant, feel like im about to cry because my husband is upset with me and angry with myself.
We are not ready for kids. i go to a school where we actually work with things that would be toxic to pregnant women and a lot of heavy lifting. I also work in a physically demanding job. We not cofidant in our finance to have one. I am prochoice but can't imagine myself having an abortion.
My mind is spiraling and i cant stop it.
AquaSherbet: I don’t know the specifics as far as timelines/effectiveness goes, but you still might be able to use Plan B (or something similar). Also, if you’ve been on the patch a while, you’re probably less likely to conceive since birth control is designed to keep you from ovulating.
Additionally, your husband kinda sounds like a turd.
lokitom82: Agree with all the above.
Especially the husband sounding like a turd.
BrokeDaddyC: I concur!
| 4 | 10.75 | |
1655251702 | 1655255777 | t3_vchakc | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my parents that I got kicked in the groin at Taekwondo class
[deleted]
thegreatbobo1: You didn’t fuck up. Your parents fucked up by taking out their anger out on the master and then your master fucked up by scolding your sparring partner. Your parents’ job was to make sure that your injury wasn’t serious and then just confirmed with the master that reasonable precautions are being taken. Your master should have just listened to your parents’ concerns and then assure them that while accidents can happen, they know what to do in case medical care is needed. Instead, your parents got scared because their precious little boy got hurt and then your master’s little ego couldn’t handle being criticized and redirected the blame to his student for something that happened in his classroom under his watch.
kragrogg: you're right I guess.. life throws curveballs sometimes
Im-a-future-corpse: Such is life I don’t really think it was a fuckup on anyone part. As you said curveballs
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1655252688 | 1655264517 | t3_vchmg3 | t5_2to41 | 66 | Scribula: TIFU by not paying enough attention while mowing the lawn.
Just happened earlier. It's been super rainy lately but we finally got a reprieve with a mostly sunny day. I was out mowing the yard minding my own business. My daughters were outside too and happened to find a nice big butterfly that caught their attention. They were following it around watching it but keeping their distance from me for safety obviously.
Well, the butterfly of course decided to land RIGHT in front of my lawnmower... They start screaming ao I look over at them. Of course I didn't stop fast enough so this beautiful butterfly that my girls love sooooo much just get fucking eviscerated right in front of their eyes. The pure devastation on their faces makes me stop immediately and listen to what they're yelling about.
The older of the two (6) just breaks down, just having experienced what you'd think was the most traumatic event of one's life. She proceeded to cry for like the next 10 minutes with no possibility of consoling her.
TL;DR Destroyed a butterfly with the lawnmower. Devastated my daughter.
Potatotornado20: Sounds like the kind of memory that gets implanted into a replicant in blade runner
Attican101: Do you like our owl?
Potatotornado20: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking on the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over…
| 4 | 16.5 | |
1655252907 | 1655254364 | t3_vchowm | t5_2to41 | 8 | Yamanocchi: TIFU by not telling a cute girl I walked past that I (kinda) work for the game on her sweater
Not an enormous fuckup, but it's been casually eating away at me for the past few hours.
So I'd just gotten off a train and went into the underground passage toward the bus stop. Somewhere around the middle was this emo-looking girl with a Kingdom Hearts sweater on. As a fellow emo who rarely sees his kind in this city, I naturally wanted to at least make her acknowledge me.
And so I told her I really, really like her sweater.
What I DIDN'T tell her though is that I work as a voice actor for an upcoming Kingdom Hearts fan project and have for the past three years. Could've gotten somewhere, but no. I had walked past her already and for some reason thought it would be weird to turn around, because people never turn around, right?!
I guess it might be for the best, we were the only ones in the underground passage and I would've run the risk of her thinking I'm some creep.
TL;DR: I'm a voice actor for a KH fan project, saw a cute girl I wanted to talk to wearing a KH sweater, couldn't be bothered to think about a topic that would've sparked at least hours of conversation.
Trouble_in_Mind: I'm mostly just curious about which fan project 
Yamanocchi: I can't say anything about the project itself because I signed an NDA, but we're opening up a community soon, if you're interested I'd be glad to let you know when we roll out!
Trouble_in_Mind: Yeah, that'd be awesome! Always looking for good KH content ^^
| 4 | 2 | |
1655254482 | 1655255276 | t3_vci6z4 | t5_2to41 | 23 | Nofemalefriendz: TIFU by not having female friends
[removed]
Tzepish: Insert Principal Skinner meme: "Am I doing something wrong? No, it's all women who are wrong."
-Immolation-: "Am I so out of touch? No, it's them who are wrong"
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1655254617 | 1655264942 | t3_vci8jz | t5_2to41 | 35 | nickdenards: TIFU by not checking my plane ticket info correctly
Wanted to explain the whole thing in the title, but too specific and weird. When you buy a plane ticket, there are pre-filled fields where you enter your info. For example, and relevant here, there is a box for your first name pre-filled with "mr" or "ms". Silly me, I thought when I clicked into that box and typed my name, the "mr" would automatically disappear. Life can suck when you assume things operate based on logic. So my ticket is now booked under "FirstnameMr" with my actual name being beforehand.
My flight is tomorrow, and I HATE checking in at the airport. Haven't done it in years. But since the online system wont accept my passport because "mr" isnt at the end of it, tomorrow, with staff shortages rampant and ppl already waiting in 3 hour security queues (as seen on the news in my area) I now have to be doubly extra early, like 4 goddamn hours early for this 'leisurely' 11:20am departure time. Please god let the person at the counter simply chuckle and let me move on. It's a mild TIFU, but COME ON. This is United airlines btw. I am truly not surprised.
TL;DR: Passenger info had "mr" pre-filled in the box where my first name goes. It didnt delete when I typed my name. Now the airline wont accept my passport.
Update: someone said the major FU would be not calling the United Airlines hotline prior to going to the airport. Oh, i beg to differ my friend, for calling that god forsaken number itself surely would have been the greatest FU. Check in at the airport went smooth, the lady fixed it instantly. But it still took almost 2 hours extra of waiting. Now we know.
who_you_are: As a developer, that a really shitty form you filled.
UsualAnybody1807: Most travel sites are a nightmare. I guess the people who build them never have to use them.
| 3 | 11.666667 | |
1655256644 | 1655445715 | t3_vcivw6 | t5_2to41 | 14 | kittenloverj: TIFU by answering the phone while high
So, this just happened. There are four situations that combined into an awful sequence of events
1. I have been applying for jobs (retail) and I sent out two applications this morning. I expected to hear back in the next few days. I did not except a quick response. This is fuck up number one. I haven’t had a job in awhile because I was a full time college student but I needed to work a bit before I study abroad this fall.
2. Because I wasn’t expecting anything today, I said sure when my mom offered me some of the joint she was smoking. I hate smoking during the day, because you never know what might happen that you need to be ready for. This was fuck up number 2 and my biggest.
3. Not long after, we get a text from my aunt that my grandma who was in hospice care, could possibly die very soon, like today soon. My mom and I are ridiculously high so this was a bad time for this to be happening. We are very stressed out.
4. My phone rings, I answer it without thinking because I thought it was my therapists office confirming my appointment. It’s one of the stores I applied to. I’m so high I can barely form sentences and it starts off so badly he immediately says “is this a bad time” and I don’t remember what I said here but we scheduled tomorrow afternoon. This is where it gets worse, I felt like I needed to explain so I straight up told him that I had a family emergency, my grandma was dying, and we were very stressed out. In the dumbest possible totally-lying kind of way. Like his tone changed immediately after. I blank out again. He says thank you and I say thank you. I hear an “mm” sounding noise and the call is over.
I’m absolutely freaked out because that was so bad, I wouldn’t call me back tomorrow. Best case scenario he calls tomorrow and I can start over and explain what I said. Worst case he knew I was high and panicked and thought I gave a really bad lie/excuse and now he sees me as a liar and stoner, two things I am not. This was the place I applied to that I wanted to work at the most. All I can do is see if he calls tmw, when I will be ready. If he ghosts, I don’t wanna give up because that first impression was so spectacularly bad, but I don’t know if there is any hope for me on this one.
TL;DR: TIFU by applying for jobs without expecting a prompt response, getting high (I don’t normally), finding out my grandma was dying, getting a call back from one of the places I applied to, all within 30 minutes. It went badly.
SadArm4678: You are overthinking it. He calls tomorrow you have two choices. You can not say anything or you can just get it out of the way. Personally, I'd go with option two. "I appreciate your patience yesterday. I'd just been told my grandmother had taken a bad turn in hospice and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.". That's it.
kittenloverj: Got an interview! I took your advice and said something like that. He liked my qualifications and wanted me to apply for a shift lead position instead of associate but I can only work for a few months.
SadArm4678: Congratulations. Glad it worked out.
kittenloverj: Thank you! Got the job but the plot thickens. Drug test that tests for thc that I didn’t know about because the only time I have ever had a job in my life i got when I was 15. Shits up in the air, some sources say they don’t do it for temps, hiring manager didn’t mention it. It seems to be a company wide policy. Another thing for me to overthink.
SadArm4678: So, the kind of test is what matters. I would doubt a strand test because they are expensive. Usually it's a swab. Sometimes urine. Never have seen blood for anything other than work injury. Same for urine. (As I know someone will "actually" me. My personal experience) A lot will depend on usage and test. Swab is 24-36 hours for detection. Blood 3-4 weeks. Urine is up to 30 Days. Hair 90 days, takes 7 days or so to show up. Do a bit of research about flushing your body with a crap ton of water. Don't fall for the maskers a lot of places, I heard, test for the most popular. Or can test for them. Good luck. No smoking between now and job start.
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1655261136 | 1655294587 | t3_vckapx | t5_2to41 | 41 | Able-Team-9737: TIFU by following my curiosity to the point of para-phimosis.
This happened last night. I (M23) recently discovered that uncircumcised males could also retract their foreskin. In fact, I read about this in one of the posts on this very same page. A very recent one that too. I’ve always had an unusually tight foreskin. Silly me, who’s glans had never seen the face of a daylight, tried to pull my foreskin and despite the discomfort felt, I persisted. I tried everything that was suggested by all the pundits over the internet and was eventually successful in doing so. And the inevitable happened, para-phimosis. I couldn’t make it retract. I panicked big time. My work location is very remote so there was no scope of finding a urologist/sexologist at that hour. I could feel the tightness of my foreskin below the glans. Google made me feel like a dead man. This happened during the night so traveling to a nearby city was also not possible. Fortunately, after hours of regret, pain and self pity, I was able to retract it back to the original place. I have spent the worst 10 hrs of my life and I do not wish this even on my worst enemy.
Tl;Dr : I gave myself para-phimosis in an absence of ER service. Eventually succeeded in retracting my foreskin back to its original place.
MuskyLion: This made me happy to be circumcised. I was indifferent to my circumcisedness until reading this post.
Edit: is it circumcisedness or circumcision disposition?
Tchukachinchina: I agree. Reddit has sometimes made me feel guilty for choosing to circumcise my son, but honestly in my 40 years of owning a circumcised penis it’s never bothered me, and I’d have no idea how to go about teaching my son how to maintain and operate a foreskin so here we are.
MuskyLion: Yeah. It seems high maintenance 😂 to me, too. I've had two friends get circumcised as adults and I'm much happier to have had mine done before I could remember what it felt like.
fannydandy: High maintenance 😂 Simply wash your dick dude!
Dont understand why people glorify cutting off parts of the penis, although there is no medical reason.
MuskyLion: Take a deep breath, my man. It's called a joke. Also, I have no life experience having a foreskin, which is a side effect of being born Jewish. So when I wash, there is no impediment between soap and schwance. I also have no experience washing other men's genitals and am happier for it. If you want to wash other men, please feel free, but leave me out of it.
fannydandy: So much tension!
But i dont exactly understand where i said i wanna wash other mens genitals. 🤔
Wishful thinking? 😋
MuskyLion: Shouldn't you be heading back under your bridge soon? I wouldn't want the sunlight turning you to stone. 😉
| 8 | 5.125 | |
1655264523 | 1655266237 | t3_vclbzn | t5_2to41 | 70 | Dawn-of-the-Ginger: TIFU by not paying attention to my surroundings.
This happened a couple of weeks ago and I am finally in a place where I can talk about it, I think, so here goes.
I had been delivering newspapers for a couple years as a side job for extra money. I delivered very late at night between 11pm and 3am in morning so I hardly ever ran into people except for the weekends. I was comfortable with my route and my privacy while doing the route, perhaps too comfortable looking back on it.
It was around 1am in the morning and I was finishing up for the night I pulled up to a house I had to get out of my car in order to do as my 18M kid waited for me in the car. There was a car parked in front of me with the front facing us. I didn’t really pay much attention to it because there were usually cars parked on the street so no big deal, right?
I go to deliver the paper and I felt a fart coming. Being the lady that I am, I didn’t want to do it near the customer’s house and I couldn’t just fart in the car with my kid in there so I waited until I returned to my car. I felt safe I really did.
The night was silent there were no sounds on the street, I was feeling great, so happy, so carefree. It was dark and the world was asleep. I walked back to my car and rested my hand on the trunk I lifted my leg in the silliest, most dramatic way possible, because I felt safe. I contorted my face and let rip the biggest, loudest fart of my 45 years of life. It was honestly such a relief and I sat there for a second with a satisfied grin and walked to the car door. I heard my son groaning something like “UGH oh god mom, no!” as I got into my car and I giggled a little I didn’t mean for him to hear but oh well, right?
As I got settled back into my seat, I looked again to the car that was in front of me and to my surprise or horror and apparently theirs as well, there were 4 people in it. Windows down all with shocked expressions looking right at me. The people in the back were leaned over with mouths agape to look at me from behind the seats. The people in front were wide eyed and in shock. Then they began to laugh. I looked over and my son has become one with the seat and is almost invisible to the untrained eye. I quickly put the car in drive and go as howls of laughter and cheers erupt from the other car. There were words but I couldn’t register any of them in the moment because my face felt as if it had burst into flames and my eyes were watering. Not crying just watering from the now most embarrassing thing I have ever done.
I am pretty sure my son was pissed at me, after he reappeared from the car seat he wouldn’t speak to or look at me. We were finally able to talk about and laugh yesterday so I think we are going to make it without counseling.
Can you imagine sitting in your car, talking with friends and along comes the paper lady who then dramatically rips ass right in front of you? She raises her leg and locks and loads right there like some midnight torpedo launch of foulness?
TL;DR I thought I was alone and farted on the street but there was a car full of people sitting outside in the dark that heard and saw it all.
Due-Profession-3563: Bwahahahahahahaha! At least you were able to trust the fart.
Free_Instruction_608: Yeah I thought this was going to lead a a shitty pants situation.
Due-Profession-3563: A brave one you are!
| 4 | 17.5 | |
1655266205 | 1655394896 | t3_vcltuj | t5_2to41 | 3,146 | Gatorsforthiscreator: TIFU by sticking my finger somewhere it shouldn’t be.
Trying to be short and sweet with this story or some would say, shitty.
My F23 oh so beloved boyfriend M27 and I have been together for just over 6 months. I absolutely adore him. He also lets me tongue his bum and put a finger in sometimes. I love that as well !
I also love doing my nails. I often spend hours on them using semi permanent products that last at least two weeks before lifting off the natural nail, but occasionally if my nails are bare for a couple days and I know I won’t have time to spend on them I’ll pick up a cheap pack of glue ons and call it a day.
See where I’m going with this story?
So me and my man were getting into it, it was amazing. He kept telling me he was gonna put a baby in me. (I’m on birth control so hearing that knowing it won’t actually happen turns me on). After a while of some sexy talk I decided to do my lil tongue and finger act.
Welp, about a minute into it my finger is inside him and starts to feel, weird? As if something is poking me from inside the hole ?
You may have guessed it by now. My poorly unsecured fake nail popped right off my pinky into his poor butt. AND HE DIDNT EVEN REALIZE.
I had to tell this poor man my finger nail was in his ass, but my finger no longer was.
Before butt play most people shit and clean up so there’s no mess. He did this making it oh so much more of a problem because there was nothing in there to help dislodge it.
After two hours, a dominos pizza, and a bottle of chocolate milk we managed to create a bowel movement and my finger nail came out with a turd.
I feel bad.
TL;DR my boyfriends anus stole my finger nail and wouldn’t return it for two hours.
hills_for_breakfast: The unanswered question is whether OP was able to reapply the fingernail after recovery
ShesASatellite: >The unanswered question
Literally no one is asking that but you 😅😅
thatguy848: Bro got 152 downvotes
ShesASatellite: Pretty status quo for my life 🤷♀️
thatguy848: Now 183 man you should make an edit or delete it
ShesASatellite: I'm not a seasoned redditor so I legit don't know what it means to be down voted or why it matters other than someone not liking what I said?
thatguy848: You could lose karma, and eventually if you go below negative you may be banned
| 8 | 393.25 | |
1655267978 | 1655336546 | t3_vcmbls | t5_2to41 | 31 | Noganeto1: TIFU by seemingly making a girl get kicked out of her house by her boyfriend
So i met this girl weeks ago, she told me she was like me: Autistic, and felt that if i decided to go with it, it would be a chance of one on a million, considering that in my 28 years of life, as an Asperger, felt that i'd never find another girl in my life with that "perk", because it would be like looking at myself at the mirror, learning about myself in a way i never could my whole life.
But things aren't always pretty: She, nearly my age, was actually the mother of a child, her boyfriend left her to take care of her baby on her own, and even worse, her mother kicked her out of the house AND kept HER baby, her granddaughter, for herself. That's right, it wasn't enough to kick her out and make her a homeless mother of a baby, but also take her baby away, making her only a homeless woman. It was HER baby, but she didn't cared, she probably felt she wouldn't be good at taking care of her so she took her away and locked her out of her homeless life.
The little time we talked, she first asked me if she could sleep in my house for some time, since, she found a girl friend who kindy let her stay for a time, but her mentioned friend's mother suddenly decided to give her the boot, and she was homeless once again. Bad comment apart, she first told me she was actually gonna ask me for money, and later reconsidered it, but told her that it was okay, even through i considered renting a hotel room for at least a night (For both of us, or for herself only, that was totally uncertain), but as i already mentioned: I am Autistic, studying in college, depending on my parents and as an "allowance", receiving money from a disability pension. Last message before she "disappeared" was an invitation to dinner at my house for my birthday, May 31st. She left me at "Read" and didn't contacted me again... until yesterday.
She apologized to me today for indirectly rejecting my offer by simply not responding in a nearly passive-aggressive way, and... told me she went back with her oiriginal boyfriend. Not for love, but for personal convenience: She got a place to stay. I told her i felt good for her, and INDIRECTLY mentioned to her that it could have been good that we would be dating and she agreed with that, specially because i felt i wanted to take care of her, not letting her know that, but making her feel it, tho.
Her boyfriend transformed from an abandoning son of a bitch... to a terrible asshole: She told me he told her she only allowed to be with her again because "he pitied her", and not only that, but she checked on her phone conversations DAILY and went totally toxic. Naturally, she got a hold of our conversation, specially after the "Who knows? Maybe it could be" part. I still remember the last words of our conversation we had after she blocked me (Maybe because her BF told her to do so? But i don't care at all anymore). She told me her BF went crazy with it and that she was in a lot of trouble. I deeply apologized since A) That was very wrong of me, "asking her out" while being with another man, regardless of the circumstances of why the fuck she ever was with him on first place, and B) I deeply thought about it... and came to the "conclusion" that my stupid mistake might make her boyfriend break up with her... and kick her out of his house... once again making her homeless.
Look, i gotta be honest with you: I AM NOT psychologically prepared to handle THESE kind of situations, his boyfriend was abusive? Yes! I was wrong all along and didn't thought about it before asking her out? Yes! And despite the fact that she also told me she was soon gonna receive a government pension for women in deep abuse situations like her so she could rent out an apartment and be independent from that son of a bitch... i don't feel like talk to her EVER AGAIN, not an even bit. Huh, i still remember her last message before i saw her block me: "I don't have any FUCKING idea why i talk to you if i am with him". Girl, this convo ruined my entire day, now i just wanna go to bed and try to forget all of this!
​
TL;DR I met an autistic girl with an abusive boyfriend and i thought i seemingly made her boyfriend kick her out of her house via a normal Facebook chat.
Phil_of_Sophie: …admittedly, I am reading, re-reading this, and want to be respectful and understanding…
You are aware, regardless of the circumstances, that she was in a relationship, right? And that any kind of intervention may have caused issues in their relationship?
Edit: Acknowledge what you said towards the end; you don’t need that drama/stress in your life.
Noganeto1: I know, i really do, but thing is, when i met her, she was single, so i thought i had an "open window" for it, but upon learning she got back with him, that indirect comment just came outta me, and i dunno why.
​
But still, how could she ever return with a man who fucked her and left her all alone with a baby? I mean, that girl had a lot of problems, and i didn't wanted any with them, i even told her that i was deeply sorry, and to tell that to his boyfriend, but she told me he wouldn't ever listen
​
As i said, i wasn't psychologically prepared for this, so i kinda was panicking
Phil_of_Sophie: I empathize for you, friend, truly.
The why’s and reasons of it are not for us to know or understand… nor are you expected to be the saviour to anybody, even if your desire is to be just that…
Take from this a lesson, and one I think most of us could really use: not everyone you meet can be saved, at least by yourself (maybe somebody else more equipped and able) but before you save anyone be sure you are fit to keep yourself safe as well.
A drowned lifeguard will do no drowning victim any good… make sure you are safe, secure, equipped before trying to help another. My two cents for what it is worth.
Noganeto1: I always wished for the day i became someone who can pay his own stuff, like food, my own house and everything, so i can finally decide to have on my life a woman on poor conditions so i can give her a house and love, save her from any kind of problem she might face, tell she is not alone.
Phil_of_Sophie: All good goals, not a lie. I am restarting a life myself… hit some hurdles, had to rebuild myself, restructure… but you ***need*** to be able to support yourself before moving on to support another. It is commendable wanting to, you will get little argument here to the contrary, but unless you are secure yourself, have that solid foundation… what will another have to stand on?
…you sound to me an intelligent individual, and have a lot of heart. Build upon that. Focus on yourself and your needs (schooling, work, etc) and then… as you build upon yourself, you will have the foundation to support others.
Noganeto1: Thanks for the compliment, but... i am a pretty vain person (I love being complimented), that must be one of my many... quirks
​
But what i'm saying is totally true, i want that kind of life, but i do lack self-esteem for it, i rpactically hate myself pretty much to even achieve what you told me.
Phil_of_Sophie: Self-love, self-esteem… these are important to healthy relationships. You really need to start with oneself before it effectively applies to another…
I think that’s really all the more I can say on this besides wishing you good luck on your ventures.
Noganeto1: Thanks, but... it will be really hard
Phil_of_Sophie: It will… but I think you can do it.
Noganeto1: One dya at a t ime, i guess?
Phil_of_Sophie: Like anything else, yeah.
| 12 | 2.583333 | |
1655268259 | 1655272036 | t3_vcmeek | t5_2to41 | 4 | Punkedupdrummer: TIFU by falling in love with a girl who I’ll never get a chance with
[removed]
AmandaJane1001: Karma bro, you’ve probably done the same thing to a dozen girls before.
BarryBadgernath1: Why on earth would you just assume that about somebody ?????
AmandaJane1001: The whole “boo-hoo I’m the victim here” vibe from this post.
BarryBadgernath1: Clown
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1655272852 | 1655275080 | t3_vcnml2 | t5_2to41 | 32 | NoraGrooGroo: TIFU by saying the word “pawn”
[removed]
Shartyshartfast: There’s no such thing as a ‘porn shop’. They’re called sex shops.
Twatt_waffle: Porn shops are most definitely a thing, more so pre 90s before streaming took over the industry
There’s still a few porn stores hanging around in my area
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1655278671 | 1655292726 | t3_vcp1vl | t5_2to41 | 51 | Classic-Philosopher7: TIFU I shat myself at a party, hid it under a table and a dog ate it
[removed]
Lee2026: I going out on a limb and saying this is some kid trying to get attention here. Rose is not taken in shots
Classic-Philosopher7: it is taken in shots haha
Tradeable_Taco: Spirits are done in shots, not wine.
Hemisphere-1: 12 for sure.
ACERVIDAE: Every time they argue, the age estimate goes down a year.
Hemisphere-1: Of course that was exactly my thinking 😂😂
| 7 | 7.285714 | |
1655282278 | 1655492405 | t3_vcpvay | t5_2to41 | 452 | alanawasneverhere: TIFU by being too good at being a wax figure
This actually happened to me in fifth grade, but it is still (unfortunately) fresh in my mind years later.
In fifth grade, my teacher decided it would be a fun project to have my class pick any well-known person (singer, actor, historical figure, etc.), write a short biography about them, and later dress up like them in the school's auditorium to put on a "wax museum" for the teachers as well as our siblings and parents. All of my classmates were quite excited about this project, including me who had chosen the beautiful ballerina Misty Copeland, as I was also a black ballerina.
On the day of the "wax museum," my fifth grade teacher told the class to not move at all while pretending to be a wax figure or else it would "ruin the illusion," or something along those lines. Looking back, this was probably a joke, but as an 11 year old with crippling anxiety, I took this quite seriously in fear of potentially making anyone angry with me. So, after the class set up the props for each of their respective celebrities, it was my time to shine. I stood still and tall in first position wearing an old ballet dress from one of my dance recitals.
And when I say I stood still, I mean STILL. So still that I received compliments on how well I was doing. So still that it was as if Medusa had come to visit my school just to look at me. However, this did not last long.
At about 30 minutes in, I started feeling a bit lightheaded. I didn't think anything of it, though, as I was committed to being the best wax figure. But then, I started seeing what I would describe as "sparkles." A LOT of them. The last thing I remember thinking was, "I can't wait to get this over with." And then it went dark.
When I came to, it was like I had woken up from a nap. I saw the faces of the teachers and parents who were looking over me to see if I was okay. Most memorably, I saw the face of my poor mom who was just about to leave to go back to work. I was then rushed upstairs to the nurse's office, where I was told I had passed out from the lack of blood flow to my head. Soon after, I went to the doctor to determine if I had a concussion despite having no pain there whatsoever. Fortunately, it was only a slight one.
Even though this situation was not funny at the time, looking back there were a few funny moments. One being two of my friends crying because they thought I had died. Another one being that a boy in my class with the laugh of a hyena laughed at me passing out and was one of the things I heard as I woke up. Also, my friends from elementary school still mention it to me to this day and we still laugh about it.
Still mad that I have a slight dent in my chin from the way that I fell, though.
TL;DR: I passed out in front of my entire class in fifth grade cuz I was too committed to being a wax figure.
DapperInvestment467: Lack of blood flow to your head? How do you manage to do that?
Lilpu55yberekt69: Locked his knees
DapperInvestment467: Yeah, but the blood flow from your heart to your head is direct and actively pumped through by your heart. The blood flow in your legs has indeed something to do with moving your legs
PolicyBitch: Locking your knees for an extended period of time eventually create a lack of circulation which makes you light headed and eventually passing out. Common in the Military.
RagnaroknRoll3: And marching band. Ask me how I know….
DaSwifta: How do you know..? 👀
RagnaroknRoll3: I was the dumbass that did it in marching band.
DaSwifta: Like you passed out?? Yikes
RagnaroknRoll3: Yep. Only once, though.
| 10 | 45.2 | |
1655285686 | 1655293988 | t3_vcqnau | t5_2to41 | 19 | tifuthrowaway0905: TIFU by not giving the nice guy a chance
Made a throwaway so he doesn’t see this.
A few months back I received a pm from a random person and out of sheer curiosity, I answered it. Now I’m not new to Reddit pms and I’m aware that 9/10 of the messages I get are from creepy men, but his initial message was funny and just gave me a good vibe so I accepted the chat request. We ended up immediately hitting it off, realising we were both from the same city, similar ages, both in university doing STEM subjects, both from neighbouring countries ethnically, and also followed the same religion. He ticked basically all my boxes; had a good job (despite being a university student), could drive, was 6ft+, had really good emotional intelligence and didn’t really have any toxic masculinity, and he seemed ambitious with a lot of life goals planned. He was insanely easy to talk to and super understanding about everything. It started off with a friendly vibe but within a week or two it quickly became flirty but remained innocent. To this day I didn’t find any red flags, if anything, just… light pink flags (lol). We eventually made plans to meet up (but never ending up meeting irl) because we hit it off so well, and although he wasn’t my type physically, he definitely was personality wise. He, however, was never shy in reminding me everyday of how cute and pretty I was, and would always tell me how proud he was of me for even doing simple tasks - he knew I had bad anxiety and depression that I went therapy for. And I appreciated that so much.
This is where the f*ck up begins. From the day I was born, I can’t explain it, but whenever anyone gets close to me I get very overwhelmed and tend to push them away. It’s a defence mechanism very commonly found in people with dismissive avoidant attachment styles, i.e: me. You can see where I’m going with this- he gave me the impression he really liked me and soon enough I got overwhelmed by that and began pushing him away. I asked if we could take a break from talking for a week or two so I can take some time for myself. He agreed because he was always so understanding and although I knew it wasn’t something he wanted, he said “if that’s what you want then I’m okay with it”.
Before this week break, we were talking everyday for a couple of months straight without fail. So naturally, within a couple days into the break I realised I did miss talking to him a little. Key word: A LITTLE.
I messaged him again, as promised, after a week. Immediately, right off the bat, he was super excited to talk to me and informed me that our little one week break felt like months for him. That immediately overwhelmed me a little because I hadn’t felt the same. Then he later went on to say how much he missed me. I don’t know why but something switched for me. I went from slightly missing him before to becoming absolutely and completely overwhelmed.
I tried to ignore the feeling in my chest but it become damn near impossible. He was back on track with his super nice compliments, calling me cute and pretty everyday, except this time I didn’t like it anymore. He deserved better than someone second guessing how much they liked him so I randomly messaged him one night and told him I wasn’t interested anymore. We were never dating, nor had I ever met him, but we both had told each other that we weren’t talking to anyone else.
He took it so hard and made it known that it wasn’t something he expected to hear from me, and he was clear about how he didn’t want to let me go but he would if that’s what I wanted, as well as mentioning how saddened he was by my decision.
I felt awful. He was genuinely a great guy, and although it was cringy, I still felt bad when I saw him post lonely quotes on his social media stories, as well as sad songs that had lyrics about how alone they are and how everyone leaves them.
We only spoke for a little over two months and I was shocked by how upset he was after. Seeing how affected he has been by it these past few weeks made me realise that he liked me too much too quick, but that isn’t really a bad thing…
So there you have it, IFU by not giving the nice guy a chance because now I regret my decision to end it. But he deserves better, and he deserves mental peace so I’m not going to bother him again, even though I’d really like to speak to him.
Tldr: Met a really really nice guy on Reddit who ticked all my boxes, but I got overwhelmed by how much he liked me and ended it. I have been regretting it since.
SuddenGrizzlyBear: I just want to say that it's sad to see the comments suggesting he is creepy or whatever.
Sure he was a bit full on, but he clearly liked OP, was doing everything to make her happy, even stopping talking for a week and when she told him she wasn't interested he accepted it and left her alone.
Why are you judging him? I don't think you are being fair.
tifuthrowaway0905: Yeah he was a really great and nice guy I don’t want anyone thinking he wasn’t, and as I mentioned before, I never saw any red flags - he was always sweet.
I think his reaction wasn’t too bad considering I never gave him any hints prior to ending it that I wasn’t interested. If anything, I did appreciate that he was honest about how he felt about me making the decision, but he did do a few things that felt quite “full on”.
I think this experience has just told me I need a bit more therapy to stop myself from pushing people out unnecessarily lol.
SuddenGrizzlyBear: If either party isn't ready then sadly that's just how it goes. Just seems unfair to criticise him for having feelings. It's not like he's been harassing you or anything right? He's respected your decision.
Sorry you aren't ready yet.
tifuthrowaway0905: No no, he hasn’t been harassing me or anything. He respected my decision 100% and was very mature about it too. He didn’t react negatively or become defensive to being rejected, which a lot men can do.
Instead, we both wished each other well and haven’t spoken since. He does still post a few lonely/ in his feels quotes every few days, but I guess that’s just how he’s coping with it.
knowutimsayin: That says alot about how good of a dude he is imo. Even tho he is hurt, he respected your decision and most people cannot or will not do that
tifuthrowaway0905: Yeah that was nice of him but if I’m honest that should be the bare minimum. I’m glad he reacted well but I don’t think men deserve “extra credit” for not harassing me when I’m not interested.
knowutimsayin: He doesn't need extra credit, you wrote a whole story talking about how he's a great guy. I'm saying, if he was actually a douchebag, and not a good guy, he wouldn't have respected your decision.
| 8 | 2.375 | |
1655287411 | 1655338912 | t3_vcr1k5 | t5_2to41 | 408 | RevolutionaryMix1441: TIFU by telling my kids that the pineapple I was cutting up was actually Spongebob's house
I was cutting a pineapple for my wife's smoothie. Jokingly, I tell our seven year old that Spongebob was living inside the pineapple, and she laughed.
Our four year old looks up. "You're killing Spongebob?"
Before I can reply, the four year old starts sobbing. I am, in his mind, killing his favorite animated sponge, despite my wife and I having long told him that, no, his cartoons aren't real.
And then, our five month old, who cries whenever his big brother cries, starts absolutely bawling. The kid doesn't even know what he's crying about. Even though she'd been laughing a minute or two prior, the seven year old starts sniffling at the idea of Spongebob dying.
As my wife and I go simultaneously to comfort them, she asks me to never do that again.
Way ahead of you on that one, hon.
Tl;DR - I playfully told our kids that I was cutting up Spongebob's house, and they all started crying.
stankie18: I would’ve told them Patrick is next
Hayk004: ​
Nandabun: https://youtu.be/OcKJVCVURmc
| 4 | 102 | |
1655287293 | 1655289263 | t3_vcr0hp | t5_2to41 | 21 | hi_im_polpot: TIFU by going to Spain
TLDR at the bottom
So this happened just yesterday. A bit of a backstory - I grew up in Hong Kong, and I have the HKID permanent residency card. After 3 years of being out of HK it expires, so I need to keep going back to renew it. Its been around 2 years and 10 months since I was last there. My dad still lives out there so it's not a wasted journey whenever I go.
I travelled to Spain last week for a lads holiday and I did get a bit of a cough, but assumed it was just the Rushnikoff Cough. When I got home I took a covid test and within 30 seconds, 2 lines. Right, OK. I fucked up.
For those who don't know, Hong Kong is a covid fortress. It is impossible to get into with covid, and if you do you have to go to a quarantine camp, which is notoriously bad.
The airport at Hong Kong is running at less than half its normal capacity, which means flights to and from Europe are rare and could get banned at any time. Before I found out I got covid, I was meant to get there via Istanbul, that route got banned for 2 months by the HK government because one person had the wrong documents, this is not rare, its a common practice. So, we then booked flights via Singapore, cancelled. Lastly we booked a flight via Switzerland, then I found out I had covid. I fucked up because my parents have spent around £2000 on flights and the quarantine hotel in HK just for me to blow it by catching covid.
TL;DR I travelled to Spain and caught covid the day before I was meant to travel to Hong Kong, which has the world's strictest covid rules, meaning I now can't travel and I've ended up costing my parents thousands of pounds in flights and hotels
shankillfalls: Unlucky! If the flight is flexible then hopefully you will test negative before the 3 year deadline is hit. Of course your parents might kill you upon arrival which would be understandable.
hi_im_polpot: My mum was in the flat with me when I got my result, so there's a chance I've passed it on to her. She wasn't angry, just upset, and like I said my dad wasn't angry that I got covid, he's more angry that I left it so late before doing a test
| 3 | 7 | |
1655288596 | 1655318636 | t3_vcrbuh | t5_2to41 | 106,767 | NotAnotherPornMovie: TIFU when I invited my gf to Adult World
[removed]
teenescapee: At least pornstar ex was decent honest human being and warned you,...
nucleosome: Three cheers for pornstar ex!
Realistic-Tear-9300: Hip hip, Hooray!
GodzillasVater: Hip hip, Hooray!
GreenMedics: Hip hip, Hooray!
Jimoiseau: For he's a jolly good fellow!
MedicManDan: That nobody can deny!
brackenish1: Especially her mom
KazzahBro: What a perfect ending to this whole exchange.
We salute you.
Shadowdragon132: >We salute you.
We salute you Mr. Wholesome Pornstar Ex-Boyfriend.
brackenish1: Reminds me of those old school real men of genius spoofs
Shadowdragon132: That's what I was going for lol
| 13 | 8,212.846154 | |
1655290931 | 1655372675 | t3_vcrx16 | t5_2to41 | 462 | [deleted]: TIFU by being too lazy to cook
[deleted]
TaintedPinkXoX: That’s sucks. How did she not notice? I would ask her if you could pay her back on a payment plan as it was a genuine mistake and your friend was partly to blame. If she hasn’t noticed the money has gone, she is unlikely financially struggling so will likely not mind you paying her back in smaller chunks.
zmxncb455: My housemate’s parents are very well off. Fortunately they have agreed to let me pay it back in a few instalments so that’s a relief!
TaintedPinkXoX: I’m glad it’s worked out okay. I hope this is a wake up call. I would get a book off Amazon and learn to cook. If you’re unsure then get a slow cooker. You can’t FU with them.
pdperson: You can absolutely FU with a slowcooker lol
TaintedPinkXoX: I feel like there’s a story behind this comment
pdperson: People think you can make, like, lasagna in a slow cooker. You can’t. There’s all sorts of ways to make bad crockpot meals.
TaintedPinkXoX: You can absolutely make a lasagna in a slow cooker. I didn’t say it would be that nice haha. But you can. I don’t know why people bother though. Lasagna is actually pretty quick to prepare. I hear of people making whole cakes in crockpots. Why? That removes almost the whole fun from it.
| 8 | 57.75 | |
1655292456 | 1655688121 | t3_vcsbri | t5_2to41 | 1,656 | [deleted]: TIFU by literally forgetting our entire relationship and my feelings for him right after he left his wife for me.
[deleted]
Lilith_K: yo I never knew that ECT could do that, that would really affect me negatively, I think, to just lose people and bits of my memory :/
vhm3: There's two kinds of ECT, unilateral and bilateral. This is a common side effect of bilateral but won't happen to everyone in the same way or to the same degree. It was harrowing to be honest, I knew memory loss was a side effect and I was ok with that, but I never really thought about how it could affect my relationships or anything.
Hexx_TX: What exactly is ECT for? I'm sorry I don't know much about this.
vhm3: It's a last resort for a few treatment resistant disorders. They don't understand why it works just that it works. There's unilateral (one side of the brain) or bilateral (both sides). They use electrical impulses to induce controlled seizures. I started unilateral and after 6 treatments with no change, they made the switch to bilateral. I did 12 of those. It's a pretty severe treatment overall so they limit its usage. For me, I went three times a week. Someone had to come with me. You're put under and given a muscle relaxant then they induce a seizure. You wake up about 20 minutes after and you have to eat and stay to be monitored for a little. They release you when you're aware of what's going on, your surroundings and you've eaten.
I would be asked if I knew who I was, where I was, why I was there, who's picking me up etc. Sometimes I couldn't answer all those questions right away or couldn't recognize the person picking me up so they would wait a bit until I could put that together. From a patient perspective, it's fairly procedural and you feel nothing. It's also very quick. Left home at 6am and was usually back by 8.
Most importantly, it works. I can only describe the difference as waking up a new person and having 14 years of motivation and interest in life that I lost shoved into my brain. I had either forgotten or never experienced that sort of mental presence. It felt like waking up out of a haze or having the fog lifted. It doesn't last forever and you may need maintenance ECT or to do it again. I'm also going to be on antidepressants for life, I'm sure of that. It's really a mixed bag and it's not magical but it gave me a few years of feeling human again.
RexIsAMiiCostume: Wow. I'm getting TMS soon (transcranial magnetic stimulation) which is generally considered to be safer with less side effects than ECT, but it's good to know TMS isn't my last option.
I've spend half my life with severe depression that started in *elementary school*. Nothing has really helped enough yet, but I'm hopeful.
vhm3: Best of luck! I've heard great things about TMS and wish I had tried it first myself. I feel you on the depression, they finally put me on antidepressants as soon as I was a teenager.
diapasonconsulting: Thx for your testimony OP
"wish I had tried it first myself"
I can understand that. May I ask what country you are in?
vhm3: Canada :)
diapasonconsulting: I may mention your story next time I'm presenting this work:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356595081\_Regulations\_and\_ethics\_of\_AI\_applications\_in\_mental\_health\_-\_A\_complicated\_formula
vhm3: Oh that sounds really interesting, I'd love to know more about that. What context would you be using it in? (I don't mind at all just curious how it would tie into AI applications)
diapasonconsulting: "AI" (more precisely "machine learning" and its subgenres, often called "AI/ML") is good at finding pattern in large amounts of data, even if it does not "understand" why these patterns are what they are.
Imagine someone\* could gather many data from many people who have done some form of treatment for depression . In this data you include the details of the treatment (type, duration, location, intensity etc), but also more "general" data about the patient (age, gender, education etc etc.. as well as things that can sound like totally irrelevant like what shoes they watch, how fast do they browse reddit etc...), and of course the data related to whether people got better or not after their treatment (based on self reported results, clinician-reported results, brain scans etc).
Now , in theory, if you train an AI/ML model with this data, then the model should be able to tell what treatment is the best suited (most likely to succeed / least secondary effects) for a given new person - based on their data.
This is a very hot and promising but scary topic.
| 12 | 138 | |
1655293058 | 1655310102 | t3_vcshnu | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying I would be a pawn star
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but rather 6 years ago
It happened in the summers of 2016, I (m12 at that time) went to a multi speciality hospital where my granddad was being treated for a disease which i don't know the name of, causes cells in your brain to deteriorate. Many people used to visit him during his stay in the hospital, later he was transferred back home, although he was on a ventilator. He wasn't able to speak as his larynx was damaged due to the disease. He died two months after he was brought back home.
So the fuck up happened during one of the visits. We had to climb a flight of stairs to reach the hospital ward where he was admitted into. We had to wear masks whenever we went into the room, as there were other patients in the same room.I was accompanied by my uncle (m21 at that time). He used to come into this black Hyundai Verna accompanied by his dad. We had this Cafe beside the parking. I used to stick to him for 1). He had a game(Injustice League) in his phone and 2). He bought me food from the cafe. We were as usual sitting in his car when he asked me what will you do when you become old, me being a nerd who used to watch History TV, Discovery Science and NAT-Geo, said i will become a Pawn Star. He started laughing so hard and told me that he would make sure my dad knows about this. Little me thought that becoming a Pawn Star is a bad thing but then I added "But i watch it with my mom". He laughed hysterically for the next 3 minutes and told me he ain't falling into my trap. Then I added more and said "I watch it on HistoryTV" then the realisation hit him, he asked for the spelling and I said "pawn" stars and he said that's a really good job. Then we continued with playing the game.
It's year later that I understood why did he laugh and had this concerned face.And i feel so freaking embarrassed right now. I tried to keep it short also my first post here.
TL;DR : Got asked what i wanna become, got misinterpreted for porn star instead of pawn star.
Marcel___: sorry, non native speaker here. I know what a porn star is, but what is a pawn star?
OkVolume1: A reality TV cast member on History channel.
Tikimanly: specifically, one operating a pawn shop
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1655293689 | 1655299879 | t3_vcsnqi | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU Met a guy I had a crush on and in the process lost three friends including him
[deleted]
Monkeydhugo: Your friends suck. I’ve sworn on my wife, mother and children (except my fav) names in order to cover for my bros
Captainschitqunt: You suck as a son, husband and father then. At least you're a good friend though.
Monkeydhugo: I guess lol it literally means nothing to me.
Captainschitqunt: It's not about that, it's about you saying her friends suck over their reaction to being asked to lie. I'd say it's worse that you advocate lying. And also that you'll use your loved ones to guilt people into believing you. Is that what you teach your kids?
Monkeydhugo: You’re right. It’s unfair for me to just judge the friends. I swear on my momma I’ll do better.
Captainschitqunt: That's better.
| 7 | 0.428571 | |
1655294237 | 1655325852 | t3_vcst5w | t5_2to41 | 31 | ASilver259: TIFU by drinking beetroot juice
Currently happening, excuse the formatting. Marked NSFW incase vomit triggers anyone
I went out this morning and saw a deep purple beetroot, apple, ginger, and berry juice which looked rather interesting.
I decided as I'd had other juices from this brand to give it a try.
Now it's been rather warm this week so I was very thirsty once I got home. I filled a glass with ice and downed the first glass of beet juice.
I poured a second and has half before I felt a bit sick. No big deal, that happens when you drink too fast.
I started to eat lunch and the sensation only got worse. I stopped eating and decided to stay in the bathroom for a few mins and suddenly a glorious purple mix of bread, salad and juice came flying out. Sort of poetic in a way.
As I write this I'm feeling sick and staring at this strange coloured mess waiting for more to come.
TL:DR drank beets, came back up within minutes and still suffering.
Zorgas: Do not freak out when you have dark pee and possibly verrrry dark poop. It's the beetroot and no, you aren't bleeding internally.
My sister and I fell in love with a beetroot + other smoothie in our teens and she screamed when she next went to the loo. Hehe
ASilver259: I'm not sure any will make it through the system to dye anything. Thanks for the heads to though
Few-Evidence-7534: It'll get through but it'll take just long enough for you to have forgotten. It is sneaky, the root of beets.
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1655296266 | 1655326000 | t3_vctfp1 | t5_2to41 | 334 | Homelessninja77: TIFU by sending a picture of my flaccid penis to the work nurse
This happened about 30 minutes ago, I was feeling a little sick at work so I was sent back to the camp where we stay and told to do two covids tests, one when I got back, and another in the morning, if both were negative and I was feeling better I could return to work.
Well last night's test went fine, however I woke up a bit late this morning and left my test to ferment as I took a shower, in a rush I snapped a picture and sent it off without reviewing it, now I'm currently on the drive to work and when I went back and checked the picture I realized that about 60% of my completely flaccid penis is poking out in the corner of the picture.
Currently I'm utterly embarrassed but also cannot stop laughing at my own idiotic mistake, I suppose the only redeeming factor is that it was a male nurse, but in reality nobody likes unsolicited pictures.
Now I'm torn, do I respond and apologize, or do I hope that my soft pecker is skimmed over.
Tldr - sent a picture of my covid test to a nurse without realizing my penis was in it
Edit: the nurse called me back and told me I was good to go to work, no mention of my member. The guys at work are having a field day tho
ouzo84: Definitely don’t mention it and act mortified if it’s mentioned. Honestly though, he’s a nurse, he’s seen penis before.
StrictZone20: He's a man, he definitely has seen a penis before.
Cretaz: Imagine the shock he had if he hasnt seen a penis before!
comfytoiletseat: Or until he finds out about his.penis 😱
bshaddo: What. The fuck. Is this.
| 6 | 55.666667 | |
1655297099 | 1655340478 | t3_vctos1 | t5_2to41 | 105 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming it was my brother calling me
[deleted]
31spiders: The real question is….why did your brother let grandpa call from his line without making the call himself and putting a surprise guest on the line?
No-Policy-4095: Because brothers that have this kind of relationship like to watch the world burn.
In other words, the brother knew this was a possibility and probably thought it would be entertaining to watch on his end.
31spiders: You know….I’m something of a brother myself. (I couldn’t resist the temptation to speak in meme)
I do have a brother and I’m raising 3 boys. I know it well. My point is OP didn’t fuck up….it was his brother being a dick (cause let’s be honest that’s funny as hell). I was just letting OP come to that conclusion himself.
DaveSmith890: As a fellow brother, this is hilarious and I have done the same. Over the years we have both accidentally called our friends and lovers ones, “waffle-fuckers, bitch-tits, ass-lickers” and other funny sounding word combos. We offer our phones to people to make the call
| 5 | 21 | |
1655296878 | 1655304837 | t3_vctmak | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting back at my ex and feeling like the worst
[deleted]
Usernamehorder: I would love to read this and give advice but it is literally a wall of text. Please break it up into paragraphs.
[deleted]: Done, sorry about that
Usernamehorder: Thank you, this was a bit of a wild ride. I get where your coming from, I've been hurt like that before. I've lashed out and regretted it. You need to forgive yourself and move on. That guy was a piece of shit and he's harmed you. The harm is still going because you won't forgive yourself for retaliating. You do need a therapist for your ocd but also to process this trauma or it will stick with you.
[deleted]: Thank you so much
Usernamehorder: No need for thanks, I only wish you well.
| 6 | 2.5 | |
1655300849 | 1655305251 | t3_vcuxgr | t5_2to41 | 28 | Efficient_Spell2452: TiFU by going on a romantic trip with a guy who I trusted and now I'm stuck and don't know how to confront..
I'm lost and really need advice.
I had a guy friend. 26 years knowing him and 6 years of closeness. Who was my rock. I had a crush on him. We went on a romantic date on his birthday.
It was magical.
He ghosted me.
Talks to me after six months saying as if nothing happened. With very sly hints that I should let it go. From his talks it is very clear that, having sex with me wax his only intention and he just led me to believe otherwise.
The thing is,I had given him the choice to walk away. Only that he tell me. But he instead ghosted me and acts like I'm just his casual friend (similar to close work friend or something)
He treated me very nicely with decent boundaries. He held me my most difficult times and came to me for his difficult times.
But he intentionally leveraged all that for sex and expects me to be okay with it.
I haven't said a word through all this. Only that I want honesty. He mumbled something about him being scared.
But he still acts like I mean nothing to him. I mean at this point I believe him.
The thing is, I never confront people. Let it go to keep my peace.
But he was my rock for 6 years. And I know was his rock. Nobody talks through the night for years on about a lot of things to just walk away.
He did. And now I don't want to be silent. Tell him that he betrayed my trust.
I never asked for him to come into life but he did saying how much Imean to him. He has now taken a lot of my trust ability.
I don't know what to say. Any advice?
TL;DR TiFU by going on a romantic trip with a guy who I trusted and now I'm stuck and don't know how to confront..
CryDieHate: I am camp Cut the Cancer. He knew you well enough to leverage that for sex and then disengaged, only to pop up MONTHS later. I don't buy that he thought it was a mistake because if you have been friends for that long, he should have been willing to talk with you about that.
He has shown you how much he cares for your feelings, so I don't feel confronting him will really change anything.
I know it hurts and I am so sorry, but trust your gut if it is telling you he is only trying to weasel his way back in for physical companionship.
CryDieHate: And, to be clear, you did not fuck up. He did.
RandoCalrissian11: She fucked up. He got what he wanted. She didn’t.
CryDieHate: I strongly disagree. This is someone she knew for a long time and trusted deeply. It is not her fault he decided to take advantage of that.
It would be a fuck up if she just let him walk back into her life like it was NBD.
RandoCalrissian11: It’s not his fault, he didn’t fuck up. She made assumptions and didn’t get what she wants. That’s a fuck up.
Thebeatybunch: No no. This is definitely a "his fault" situation. He leveraged everything he knew about her, to get in her pants.
He wooed her and made her time "magical" for the getaway.
He led her to believe something that wasn't true. She wanted things based on what HE was doing.
So, you're basically saying - someone can just gaslight the hell out of someone and make them believe things to be a certain way but then when the gig is up, it's the victims fault because they didn't get what they wanted out of the relationship?
That's not how this works. That's not how *any* of this works.
He took advantage of her. Plain and simple.
Efficient_Spell2452: Thank you for your kind words
Thebeatybunch: You're very welcome, OP. Just telling the truth as I see it.
You're NOT at fault here. None of this is your fault or your doing.
Do not let people like that one up there make you feel like it is.
Good Luck and cut him off. Don't let him waltze back into your life, love.
Efficient_Spell2452: 💖💖
Thebeatybunch: Here you go, a heart puking kitty. Should give you a chuckle, at least!
| 11 | 2.545455 | |
1655300655 | 1655302074 | t3_vcuv6c | t5_2to41 | 16 | Splitinsanity: TIFU by losing a winning lottery ticket!
So yeah I'm a fucking idiot.
A couple days ago I decided F it, I'll buy my first lottery ticket, I'm not gonna win because I never win anything but hey may as well right?
So I put the ticket in my pocket, my boyfriend grabs the food we purchased for dinner, I grab the dog and we walk back home. Lovely, chilled night watched t.v.
The next day we take the dog out to the beach, we come home and unfortunately my boyfriend has to go home that day but I was gonna see him in a couple days anyway so no big deal.
Then the next day rolls around and I'm thinking I should put my ticket into the system online, I look in my pocket. It not there. I look around and in the couch, it's not there. I look in my room, in my bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen. I searched the entire house! But it's not there. It's gone.
Well, I was a little saddened but it's not all bad, probably wasn't even a winning ticket, besides there was no way I would win £30 million.
And then, that takes us to today. I thought, let's humour myself, see what the winning numbers were. They were announced last night but I was already in bed.
So I watch the recording of it on my laptop, first number pops up aaaand..... its not my number, didn't expect anything less.
Then the next number comes and again its not mine, not that I recognise anyway.
Until the 3rd number rolls in and wait a minuet.... I recognise that number.... no fucking way..... No, no hold on a minuet don't get excited. Its just 1 number. You need at least 2 to win anything.
The fourth number rolls and of course its not mine, like I said I can't win anything. So of course the 5th number will also be.... wait... Holy shit. That my number too! And I got a match on one of the extra balls?? Well I don't know if that means anything but I... I won....
I won on a lost ticket. God damn it!
Now I know with the amount of people playing I would probably only win £10 or something similar but seriously I could use that right now, haha.
So moral of the story, don't ever let go of your ticket. Put the ticket into the system online and hold onto it so tight they will have to pry it from your cold dead hands.
Don't be an idiot like me.
TLDR: I bought a ticket, I lost the ticket. Turned out to be a small winning ticket.
eatshitake: Buy it online. Then you can’t lose it.
Splitinsanity: Yeah, I am definitely doing that from now on.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1655308336 | 1655308784 | t3_vcxmyp | t5_2to41 | 22 | Cantsleepvirgin: TIFU by spending all night complaining about women
[removed]
Decent_Establishment: If you're becoming something you hate just so girls will date you, you're not going to get much farther than you are now, if at all.
chiefdragonborn: Yeah, they’ll see right through it. Use the therapy for actual change, OP
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1655309744 | 1655310759 | t3_vcy6nd | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU when I waited two years to say to my ex exactly what he said to me when we were dating
[deleted]
Kn0tnatural: Date outside of your friend/school/town circles
OpenScratch5758: I did for a while in college, it didn’t work out.
HighLord_Uther: Do what makes you happy 😊
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1655309607 | 1655331643 | t3_vcy4p1 | t5_2to41 | 104 | YourKarenNeighbor: TIFU by listening to NSFW audios with my family
Okay, so I’m a 14 year old girl. I have an awesome dad and little sister, and we were watching a movie together in the family room with the lights dimmed and all. I had my AirPods in, as I didn’t like the movie very much, but my dad and sister hasn’t noticed.
While listening to GWA, I was silently doing my business in my own seat. Next thing I know, the audio pauses. I’m not exactly sure what had happened in that moment, but I didn’t care and I wasn’t really thinking straight in that moment. I pressed play.
Oh, Lord, I was deep in my own caused shit. The dude in the audio was talking and making some VERY nsfw noises while I thought that the sound was still coming from my AirPods. But no, they had died.
My 10 year old sister and dad had been staring at the screen for a good five seconds before realizing that the audio was not, indeed, coming from the movie.
(I still hadn’t realized the audio wasn’t coming from my AirPods anymore)
I get looked at in horror while my horny ass still had a completely nsfw facial expression.
Now, I had realized what had happened. I was extremely ashamed as my little sister had heard it, and my dad was absolutely pissed. I was in deep fucking shit.
Now, I have restrictions put on my phone so I’m unable to view anything mildly nsfw.
TL;DR,
Listened to porn audios when my AirPods died without me knowing and now my phone has restrictions on it from my dad. Little sister also heard the audios.
oUfAs: rip your inbox
Keeksikook: She's 14
Party-Glass-3626: And this is Reddit.
ShadeofIcarus: Which means odds are it's a 40 year old dolude pretending to be a 14 year old.
Remember that time when an adult sub banned everyone from /r/teenagers for being underage and they got a ton of messages with proof that they were adults (when they were writing some weird things in the teenagers sub).
Party-Glass-3626: I do not remember that because I don't go to r/teenagers but it definitely doesn't surprise me, considering Reddit's user base. The first thing I thought when I read OP's post was there's no way this is real this has to be a dude writing this.
ShadeofIcarus: Yup
https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/djdmd9/we_banned_all_of_rteenagers_and_it_turns_out
Party-Glass-3626: Damn. That's fucked up.
ShadeofIcarus: Internet is a pretty messed up place. I try and stay informed to help family members with questions about their kids.
EG: I recently had to block certain hashtags on a browser level because a friend's 15 yo daughter was effectively running an OF out of her twitter where people were sending her cash via paypal for nudes...
It was vile.
Party-Glass-3626: Jesus good for you. I've heard that Twitter users can be just as messed up as Reddit. I've never gone very deep into Twitter. I mostly just use it to follow my local news sources.
| 10 | 10.4 | |
1655312363 | 1655313156 | t3_vcz5uk | t5_2to41 | 3 | Electricity_3945: TIFU by losing my temper at my deeply traumatized, needy girlfriend.
[removed]
PrincessWaffleTO: What did I just read?
allthemostoffensive: A confession.
| 3 | 1 | |
1655312815 | 1655313579 | t3_vczc7w | t5_2to41 | 5 | Brendansmomlikescash: TIFU but not liking Jim Gaffigan
Obligatory this did not happen today, happened about a year ago.
So I’m watching a Jim Gaffigan special with this girl I had recently started seeing, wasn’t laughing, and she noticed so she asks if I’m okay, I tell her this just isn’t my brand of humor. So she says let’s watch something that’s more your speed. I throw on one of Tom Seguras first specials, and if you don’t know him his humor is very R rated. Anyway we’re watching it, I’m loving it, and I look over and she is not very amused. When he told a joke that is basically about killing someone, burying their body in a lake and then getting a boner when he drives by (if you know him, you probably know the joke), she turned it off. Fuming mad she starts berating me asking what kind of person I am, and how I can think that stuff is funny etc etc, to which I kind of laughed and said “you need to grow up.” Big no no. Bawling (angry) crying she tells me this whole story about how her sister was killed and buried in a lake when she was a teenager, how women are in constant danger from men like that, how people shouldn’t joke about that stuff, the whole nine. I felt terrible but I had no idea it was such a sore subject. I apologized as much as I could but she just insisted I take her home. Couldn’t really repair the damage since this was only our 4th date, so we parted ways. Learned to avoid watching standup until at least a few months in.
TLDR: my preferences in standup comedy ruined a relationship
revdre: He’s a pasty, suburban dad who is only sometimes funny. Don’t sweat it and count yourself lucky for finding out now and that she has a soccer mom’s sense of humor. Tom is
much funnier.
Brendansmomlikescash: Yeah wouldn’t have worked out anyway based on the explosion, but I definitely picked the wrong the special to introduce Tom to her hahaha
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655314323 | 1655375362 | t3_vczwnb | t5_2to41 | 43,535 | TheBoggart: TIFU: By going down on my pregnant wife. (NSFL?)
As my twin sons’ fourth birthday approaches, I am reminded of a fuck up I had four years ago, when my wife was still quite pregnant. I love my wife and she was more beautiful and sexy to me than ever, and I was happy to help when, as her due date approached, she frequently suggested sex as a way to induce labor. Some sources say sex, nipple stimulation, and other things can help jumpstart contractions. I always give her about five orgasms with my tongue before getting down to business, and this particular moment was no different. In the past, I had noticed that when she orgasmed while pregnant, you could really see the muscles contracting from the outside of her body, with her abdomen being so taut from the pregnancy and all. This was weird, but also kind of cool to see my handiwork in action, and I didn’t think much of that tightening other than the occasional stupid thought like, “hope it doesn’t push the babies out!”
Well folks, her orgasms never pushed any babies out, but on this particular day, it did break her water. Now, some women have a trickle, other women describe it as a sort of quick gush. But no, this was a full on firehose blast straight to my face…into my mouth, up my nose, all over my eyes. It was an amniotic canon shot. That…that…ladies and gentlemen, it tasted like garlic. I will forever hate that I know that.
I’ve never quite gotten over it. I’ve asked some people who are more knowledgeable in this kind of thing, who suggested that, while incredibly unfortunate and statistically improbable, both amniotic sacs ruptured at the same time and the contracting of muscles during the orgasm just blasted it out. Some people beat the odds and win the lottery; I beat the odds and got hosed by a vadge. But at least I made my wife “squirt”?
TL;DR: Tongue flicked the forbidden fruit and got blasted by garlic water.
_Edits_
1. Thanks for the spelling corrections. I’ve implemented them.
2. To address one common question: yes, I can still eat garlic. As I explained in a comment below, I do have “one time conditioning events” that do affect me. For example, I hate the smell of new cars because I got very sick in a new car once and now the smell of new car makes me sick every time. But with this, I think of this incident almost every time I go down on my wife, or think about my sons’ birth, or even see a pregnant person. So eating garlic is just one of many triggers related to this, and, as a result, it’s impact on me I think is lessened. So yes, I can still eat garlic.
3. To address another point: yes, my wife really does orgasm about five times on average before penetration. This is a combination of things, from my experience. Yes, my tongue game is probably good, but she is also _capable_ of multiple orgasms (some people might not be) and it takes about five times before she’s really “finished.” I also know her body really well and how to make her cum. So, there’s no secret to it really! Just practice and the right partner.
Blubatt: It's gross, but that's true love
Khaldara: 🎶”When the flume hits your eye like a big waterslide, that’s amore”🎶
PH0T0PH0R3: “When you give a little lick and suddenly taste garlic, that’s amore!”
landsknecht440: When you do 69, and then drown in the brine, that's amore....
utopiav1: When you kiss her too much and get blasted with gush, that's amore
gr00valicious: When you go for a taste and the flood hits your face, that's amore
utopiav1: When you tongue-bath her pink but get drowned in the drink, that's amore
Absolut_Iceland: When you go for some action but induce contractions, that's amore!
Onion_Pits: When an eel bites your thigh, and you bleed out and die, thats a moray.
DiscFrolfin: When a Canadian identifies the Muslim inhabitants of the Maghreb he says, that’s a moor, eh?
SwimSufficient8901: When you're dining on clam and you rupture the dam, that's amore!
FequalsMfreakingA: When you start with papoose and end drowning in juice, that's amore!
VoiceofPrometheus: When the juice from the puss makes you wince like a wuss, that’s amore!
| 14 | 3,109.642857 | |
1655315211 | 1655317842 | t3_vd09fh | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by being catfished, harassed, getting my reddit account hacked, and subsequently blackmailed.
[removed]
PM_me_XboxGold_Codes: Well. Obviously report it but beyond that there not much to be done. File a police report?
FatherJohnMeesty: Reported it several times to the admins already, no response. I know the FBI will investigate sextortion which I'm thinking should apply here.
PM_me_XboxGold_Codes: Absolutely will.
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1655315050 | 1655343938 | t3_vd071c | t5_2to41 | 12 | charlescodes: TIFU by mooning my gf’s daughter on a pontoon
Let me just start out by saying that I (28) can be a dumbass, and this is not a good look for me. Before I get to the story, I’d like to make it clear that I’m a very open person and generally find nothing wrong with mooning my friends, and some of my family. We love fart jokes, making fun of each other, playing pranks, and other childlike humor.
I recently went out pontooning this past weekend, and had a few too many drinks. We went boating around for a few hours, stopped at a bar for some live music, and then continued boating around afterwards.
The night was eventual grew more chaotic until the point where my girlfriend and her friends and I were singing “The Greatest Showman” at the top of our lungs while polishing off a bottle of wine.
My girlfriend’s daughter (18) was out pontooning on a separate boat with a bunch of her friends and were driving past us. I thought it was a good idea at the time to quickly stand on the edge of the boat, and flash my butt cheeks to give them a laugh.
It turns out that I mortified my gf’s daughter in front of her friends. She was very upset with me, and discussed this with her mother. I totally understand where she is coming from and why she would be upset with me. My guess is that when her friends were laughing at me that she internalized this as pure embarrassment.
I’ve learned that just because me and my friends do actions like this that it doesn’t mean that it’s okay to do in front of everyone, especially a young adult. Another part of me is thinking that this is blown out of proportion, and it’s not the end of the world. It’s just butt cheeks. I grew up with that being hilarious.
I’m generally looking for some advice for what I should do to remedy the situation. I’m more than willing to apologize or make it up in whatever way that I can. I just feel like it’s too late now, and that I’ve ruined my relationship with her.
Please help me out Reddit.
TL;DR -
I mooning my gf’s daughter when out pontooning, and embarrassed her in front of her friends. They are both understandably upset with me, and it’s causing a rift in all of our relationships.
grinning_imp: I’m going to assume, based on your age and the daughter’s age, that your girlfriend is quite a bit older than you. Correct?
Just own the mistake, apologize, move forward. You gotta act like an adult. The damage is done, and all you can really do is face it like a man.
It’ll (hopefully) be relegated to the past and eventually just be a funny story.
YouDontWinFrnzWSalad: Great advice. Just own up to it. Also, I was born when my mom was 15. So by that math, his gf is at least 43
Blue_Sassley: 15+18 = 33...
YouDontWinFrnzWSalad: lol math
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1655316340 | 1666866722 | t3_vd0p5h | t5_2to41 | 76 | AutistOctavius: TIFU by working close to home.
There's this metal factory near me that happened to be hiring. My tight schedule as a student made this a very attractive prospect. I go and get hired and I meet my co-workers. Eventually I learn a good majority of them are ex-convicts. This factory does a lot of hiring of ex-convicts.
At first I'm like "Well I shouldn't be so judgmental. These guys are here most likely because they're looking to turn their lives around. I should be a friend to these guys." So I try to be. Maybe it's the lax oversight here (HR basically doesn't exist at this job) but it's hard to tell when these guys are joking around. A lot of them appear to have anger/impulse issues. But I deal.
Until one of them, a guy who did 20 years (for what I don't know) starts talking to me about how he saw me outside of my house and knows where I live. He starts dropping threats about how he could break into my house if he wanted. And he does know, he's confirmed that. So what can I do now? If he wanted to, say, have my house robbed, he knows when I'm at work. He could send his friends to break in and I would have no way of proving he was connected. I don't know, I think I might have to move.
**TL;DR:** My ex-convict co-worker saw me at my house, knows where I live, and is now threatening to break in.
DoughnutDonator: Just report this to the police. Threats like that shouldn’t be made and at least you can inform them beforehand. If you feel uncomfortable you should move obviously, your safety is priority in this scenario
AutistOctavius: Are the police really gonna keep record that some random person was threatened with a break in once? And if I do get robbed, are they really gonna suspect my co-worker right away?
And even if they do suspect my co-worker, what can they actually do if my co-worker wasn't actually on my property? Sent some friends of his? Are they gonna just dig into my co-worker's private life? Do they even have a warrant for that? "Hey you talked about robbing this house once, let us investigate your friends?"
Furthermore, they would have to catch these thieves before they fence everything. If you can't find my stolen stuff, you basically have no crime to prove.
icanelectoo: Buy two security cameras and stick them on your front and back doors. Reolink has good options and they're cheap. Stick a 128GB microSD in each one and they will record 24/7. You can also check in on them remotely to see if packages have arrived etc. They also have IR so they work at night. They go for about $100 each.
AutistOctavius: Okay, maybe if I check my cameras at work, and my co-worker sees me doing it, that'll dissuade him from planning anything.
icanelectoo: Also they stick out like a sore thumb on your home. The bullet style cameras are really hard to miss. When it's dark, the IR LEDs light up and it's clear from a mile away that you have security cameras. I installed mine after someone threatened my outside my home and I haven't worried since. It's also just nice to be able to check in on things.
Make sure you get the WIFI versions. The PoE models require Ethernet cables and an NVR, which usually means a minor renovation. The WIFI models just plug into an outdoor outlet.
Edit: I'd recommend this one if you are in NA
https://m.reolink.com/product/rlc-511wa/
Chaos-n-Dissonance: Wifi cameras are easy to manipulate and cut the feed on with a small device. PoE cameras require the person to cut the actual wire or otherwise physically disable the camera... And that's assuming you can set it up properly (Requires a fairly decent router to maintain strong connection to the cameras outside your house via wifi).
I'm not saying wifi cameras are worthless, but unless you live in an apartment where drilling a few holes for the wires to pass through the wall isn't an option... I'd definitely recommend PoE over wifi cameras :P
| 7 | 10.857143 | |
1655318422 | 1655318878 | t3_vd1hlw | t5_2to41 | 42 | madnessisherenow: TIFU Ripping the bong on a conference call
I will tell the story with great detail to appease the gods that want 750 chars for this story. It beings not today but some time ago...
First things first, it wasn't a bong but more of you understand that word than "dab rig". They make a similar sound and that's what I want you to keep in mind.
I really didn't want to be on the conference call. An hour of corporate brainwashing where we learn "corporate values". I knew a nice fat dab would free me from the corporate oppression and I work remotely so I helped myself. I didn't have my camera turned on. What's the big deal?
The big deal is my old school wireless handset for my wireline phone. My cell service is spotty so it's what I use. You have to look at the screen to know if it's muted and I had it face down since the speaker phone speaker is on the back. Apparently I wasn't on mute.
I was away from the phone when I light the torch. I don't think they heard it. But I set the dab rig right next to the phone. I ripped it like the alpha I am. No coughing; I'm a pro. I went back to get what was left with another tough guy rip. That was when I heard "Madness, I think you're unmuted". I apologized without explaination and muted my phone.
I had another dab while I pondered my situation. It was a recorded call so those who couldn't attend could be brainwashed later. Recorded evidence. But of what? A grown man blowing bubbles in a cup of water perhaps. I've smoked enough grass to know this could all be a dream and any explanation of reality has a chance of being true. I praise something greater than me the question never came up and enough time has passed that the recording has been deleted. A short records and retention policy has set me free. It was three months where every email I thought the subject would be "random drug test".
TLDR; It would have been shorter and you wouldn't be reading this but it had to be longer to exist. Other than that I got high on company time and had to wonder when HR was coming for 3 months.
stumpdawg: Live/learn.
Practical-Moment-247: Live. Laugh. Love.
stumpdawg: This inspiration quote brought to you by pumpkin spice.
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1655317218 | 1655429459 | t3_vd116o | t5_2to41 | 281 | tomwhiteman71: TIFU by plagiarising myself for a final year paper.
Hey guys,
Today I had an essay due (med school) which had basically the same topic as another essay which I'd submitted just a week ago. I simply changed the title of the old essay and submitted it again.
My TurnItIn showed a 90+% plagiarism. In the afternoon, I received an email from my professor saying that I was in 'gross violation' of my university terms because of a fully plagiarised essay. I explained to her that it was my own essay, but she said that plagiarism is plagiarism.
Apparently there is such a thing as copying from yourself, and universities take this extremely seriously.
I now have a meeting with her and the course director tomorrow and I'm going to do my best to ask for a second chance.
TL;DR
Submitted a previously written essay which I wrote for another module which had the same topic. Ended up plagiarising myself and I'm now facing severe penalties.
Flashpoint292: That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard
Dark___Reaper: Actually if u think about it, it's understandable. Imagine getting credit for not doing any work for ur project just because it's similar to an older one. Its an unfair advantage over many other students who attended the same course, just because you are lucky enough to get that topic.
Toxickiller321: Why is that unfair? You already did the work, why should you be required to do it again?
Dark___Reaper: Its unfair to the other students who were not fortunate enough to be allotted similar essay topic that was done the previous week. These assignments are not chores. In its most basic sense, it is for the students to investigate and learn while gathering information. Think about the ethical side of it. Med school, as far as I'm aware, is competitive. Imagine not putting any effort into a work while all the other competitors put their effort in purely because of luck. Put yourself in the other students shoes. After working to submit the work on time, you see the guy beside u change his heading of his previous assignment and goes about his day. Now finally, they were already informed about self plagiarism. OP either forgot or wasn't paying attention. When a rule exists, it has to be followed, especially in fields like these were the people who pass out hold the lives of various people in their hands.
Toxickiller321: School should never be a competition. There is no “ethical” problem. You already did the work, there’s no reason to do it again. Why should you have to redo an assignment just because someone else hasn’t done it yet? You already put the time and effort in. Plagiarism is taking someone else’s work and claiming it as your own. A school can tell you about it, doesn’t mean that it is a valid thing. All you’ve described is “this other person hasn’t done it yet, so you should have to do it again”. There’s no logic behind that whatsoever.
Dark___Reaper: This is not a casual school for children. Its med school. And whether you like it or not, there will be competition. And depending on the scores, new pathways open up to individuals. Are you sure you have the grasp of the situation? OP got the similar assignment question twice. Its like being asked to write about plants on ur first assignment and the following week you got the topic on forests and all u did was replace plants with trees and submitting it. Schools especially these profession based ones have rules after reviewing multiple criteria. Pushing them aside by calling it invalid is mundane. OPs entire situation could have been avoided by citing his previous paper, thereby acknowledging where he acquired the material. Procedures and protocols exist to ensure fairness to all participants. Its not some random idea that popped into somebody's head one fine day.
Toxickiller321: Just because something is, doesn’t mean it should be. Again, if the work was already done, there’s no reason to do it again just because someone else has to. “You already did your work today, but because John has to do his job now, you gotta redo it”. Doesn’t make sense. I have absolutely 0 problem with what OP did. Again, completely goes against the literal definition of plagiarism.
Dark___Reaper: I seriously don't know why you don't see the issue. Let's say that John worked hard to complete A and B each worth a week's effort to get a good grade for both (or whatever system they use). Then Jane doing A and resubmitting it again the next time to get a similar grade as John. How can we consider that fair? There is a concept called self plagiarism. You might want to look it up. It exists for a reason. Again OP in other comments mentioned how they were told about this. So it's not a hidden fact. So when rules are imposed, you can't complain about being penalized after breaking said rules.
| 9 | 31.222222 | |
1655317774 | 1655347434 | t3_vd18ox | t5_2to41 | 3 | olliegw: TIFU by leaving audacity on the wrong setting and messing up a recording of my first ever morse code conversation
This happened last night, so i've been interested in radio and morse code for years but i've always been intimidated at what you have to learn to get the license (amatuer radio) but a few months ago i took it upon myself to learn morse code by soldering an actual morse key to an old mouse and using software that interprets mouse clicks as morse code.
Lately i've discovered another piece of software that does the same but has an online feature, you can connect to a central server that has different simulated frequencies and talk to others in morse, the best part? you don't need a license and it's free.
So i installed it, set it up for my "Fist" (keying style) and did some practice, went online, put out a few CQ's (Calls) but got nothing back.
Last night i try again and this time i was surprised with a "QRV?" (Are you ready to talk?) and he had a callsign like a real licensed ham, so i started audacity, set to stereomix and started recording my first "QSO" (contact).
All was good, we ragchewed for a while, he told me you can also type and told how to say "over" in morse, told me that it was fine if i made mistakes, that i didn't need a license etc, didn't feel that comfortable giving him my "QTH" (location) for his logbook but i trusted him, turned out he's not usually QRV at that time and logs off earlier but stayed up later that night, he asked me if i was a using a key to which i said yes, it was getting quite late so i was ready to 73s and CL but he must have read my mind as he basically keyed the same, Thanks for the QSO dear old man (not rude in ham radio!) hope to see you again 73s, he keys a dit dit and i key SK CL (Stopped keying, closing station) to let others know they may use the channel, disconnected, etc.
When i played back the recording though it sounded wrong, like it wasn't morse code at all, putting it through a translator yields gibberish, turned out i left sound activated recording on for a previous thing i did with radios, so everytime he or me stopped keying, it stopped recording, between our spaces, both for letters and words, it also stopped recording, combining the entire QSO into a jumbled mess where you can't tell what's a dit or dah, that sounds more like some more advanced digital mode like RTTY.
On the other hand at least i took a screenshot of the QSO, and i later googled his callsign and he's a cool guy, we share some interests, not just radio and he mainly hangs out on this morse code chat software, he even has an awesome collection of real vintage keys so i wished i asked him what key he was using last night.
And at least it wasn't actually my first real ham radio QSL.
TL;DR: Switch off audacities sound activated recording feature if you want to record morse code, or find out the hard way that it makes the code unintelligable even by machine.
insert_rad_name_here: Fuckin nerd
thehotshotpilot: If you mean that as a compliment then you are correct.
| 3 | 1 | |
1655321408 | 1655328657 | t3_vd2lxz | t5_2to41 | 1 | Leroyjenkins02: TIFU by hiding a secret from my gf for several months
Me (19m) and her (18f) have been dating for 2 years and about a year and a half ago I told here I would quit smoking if she would try to eat more and become healthier because of her eating disorder so I quit on the spot and we went on. Fast forward to a few months ago I was stressed and me and her arguing a lot and felt like I couldn’t communicate with her without it breaking into a argument and personally I’m not big for arguing or confrontation so I like to keep the peace and everyone happy. So one day I bought a new vape and some juice and started smoking again not a lot but enough to fix my cravings every now and again and I kept it hidden from her because of the fear of her leaving me. Fast forward to the end of April I went over to her house and picked her up and she saw a vape pod in my car and I said it was just a coworkers that forgot it and we went on about our day then a few weeks later she finds a bottle of vape juice and gets upset because it’s in my glovebox and nobody goes there except me or her for tissues and yet again impulsively said it was my coworkers again and stuck to that. Now yesterday she finds my vape because it fell out of the car and landed on the ground she played it off as if she didn’t but then later last night asked me what I was hiding from her and I came clean and said that I started smoking a few months back and so forth now she says I have a few days to prove to her that I can change and not be an impulsive liar and it’s really hard when she won’t even give me the time of day
TL;DR I hid the fact that I smoked for 2 months and now my 2 year long relationship might be over
[deleted]: Sounds like she kind of cornered you into promising something, and while I agree that you shouldn’t have lied about it, I also feel like she didn’t give you much choice: either you quit, or she continues with her eating disorder.
Since eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, it’s like she was dangling her life in front of you to force a promise out of you.
This feels very manipulative and immature. Again, you shouldn’t have lied, but she shouldn’t have put you in that position in the first place. She needs to grow up, take care of her own health, and get some help, not make you responsible for her illness.
Leroyjenkins02: Oh no she didn’t make me promise sorry I didn’t make that clear I came up with it and told her I would stop quitting if she started eating more
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1655322676 | 1655326837 | t3_vd30wg | t5_2to41 | 60 | throwaway-buddyholly: TIFU by telling a girl to stand up for herself.
So I (14M) been chatting with this girl (14F).
She has been talking a lot about problems she has been having with this one guy, let's call him Ryan, Ryan goes to the same school as her, knows where she lives and is quite a bit older than she is. He's been asking her for nudes, which she didn't want to send, then he tried manipulating her by saying stuff such as "I won't eat until you send me that please baby", to which she replied "Noo please eat", and I told her that she was being manipulated by him and should block him. She said she didn't want to, fine I guess?
Fast forward to yesterday and the same thing happened, and I told her that she should just say no, and stand up for herself, which she did.
So today he said "If you don't send that image, things will happen.", so she asked what, and he said "You'll know when it happens".
I'm feeling really bad right now and I don't know what is going to happen, and I feel that I endangered her.
Does anyone know what the fuck her or I can do?
**TL;DR**: Told a girl to stand up for herself after someone asked for her nudes, then she got threatened and I feel guilty.
Edit: I don't know her irl, she lives quite some time away, I can't go to the police myself because I only know his first name.
specificwalnut: PLEASE listen to the comments and get police and parents involved immediately. I don’t believe you contributed negatively or endangered this girl whatsoever and you seem to have the best intentions, but I know how it is to be a naive and too-nice underaged girl being ruthlessly manipulated left and right, and I’ve even been groomed since growing up a little. It isn’t your fault this is happening to her. Please don’t be scared to get adults involved, no matter how awkward it is. This is not okay and I’ll keep y’all in my prayers for the swift resolution and peace and safety during the rest of this situation. I’m sorry you’re all dealing with this disgusting behavior.
throwaway-buddyholly: Thanks, I sent her some screenshots of the comments and told her what I thought, she said thank you and said she was going to bed, I hope she talks to her parents tomorrow, will make an update post probably.
specificwalnut: I appreciate the update. Seriously though, I’m an absolute stranger, but I’m both sorry that this is a hard life thing and really really urging you to tell your parents about this or find a way to tell hers. That -might- be the most reliable place to start, when it comes to being taken seriously since you’re not her and just reporting on her behalf. I know it can feel like overstepping boundaries, but safety and getting it over with asap is more important than perceived social rules or awkwardness. You should not face any negative consequences for bringing this to light with the proper people, you’re trying to help. I don’t want to put this all on your shoulders, and I honestly don’t have a say in this beyond what you’re willing to listen to on here right now, but sometimes it’s hard to get help for ourselves or even accept that we need help, and we need someone else to call for help when they recognize the need.
throwaway-buddyholly: I don't think I will involve my parents, because I actually don't know her irl and I've already been talking with my parents about some stuff, that being that I think i may have asd / adhd, and also just talking about seeing a therapist for my chronic illness, but I won't go into that much detail.
specificwalnut: Ah okay, I’ll leave it at that. (About the asd & adhd, me too!) Good luck with everything, and I hope everything turns out fine with her soon
throwaway-buddyholly: Thanks, also it's not that I don't want to explain, I just don't want to waste your time lol
specificwalnut: I completely understand! I do the same thing, and I struggle a lot with determining what info is and isn’t important to others since I can’t read minds and all info is important to me 😂. Let’s just settle on you being my internet stranger little brother because I’m 21 and further discussion would encroach on being inappropriate just due to age difference (not a lecture or anything, just my thoughts)
throwaway-buddyholly: I personally don't see why that'd be inappropriate, but that's fine, have a good day / evening / whatever :)
| 9 | 6.666667 | |
1655323007 | 1655352413 | t3_vd3573 | t5_2to41 | 7 | songbird-01: TIFU by outing my dead grandmother as an alcoholic
this actually happened a couple of months ago but i didn’t have a reddit then, so i guess i’ll tell this story now.
for context my mother’s side of the family is a big irish catholic family, that’s very hush hush abt taboo topics. my grandmother was a severe alcoholic. she drank throughout her pregnancy with my uncle, P (this was the early 60’s, so not that unusual) and it caused him to be severely mentally and physically disabled, my sister and i both have vivid memories of her being drunk while watching over us, and her drinking eventually lead to her death. i didn’t know this at the time as i was very young, but apparently her alcoholism basically melted her internal organs.
this is where i fucked up.
i assumed it was an open secret. drinking is not that uncommon in my family, as i said earlier we’re irish catholic, my cousins and i have been topping off wine glasses since we could reliably hold a bottle. so i always figured that it was one of those things we just didn’t talk about but were all aware of.
one day i was on the phone with my godmother J, who is my maternal cousin, when it came into conversation that i recently found out my mother was anti-vaxx. J didn’t seem surprised, stating that P’s disability was due to a vaccination my grandmother received while pregnant and that’s why my mother didn’t trust them. before i could stop myself i blurted out that that’s not what caused it.
J got quite for a few seconds before asking me what i meant. at this point i had realized that maybe my grandmothers addiction wasn’t as open of a secret as i originally thought.
it turns out that nobody knew anything about her addiction, the effect it had on P, or that it caused her death. i suspect my great aunts are aware, as well as an older cousin who was left in charge of P’s finances in my grandmothers will. but it was a complete shock to J, who had no idea that my grandmother was an alcoholic at all, let alone the extent of it.
the ironic thing is that we haven’t brought it up since lol.
TL;DR : my grandmother’s alcoholism caused my uncles disability and her own death, i assumed my extended family knew, turns out they didn’t
skidf82: Why do u need to comment that your Irish Catholic, does that automatically make u an alcoholic ?
songbird-01: no, but Irish-Americans have some of the leading numbers for alcoholism in the US, and 70% of irish ppl above the age of 15 are alcoholics
skidf82: 70 % of us above 15 are alcoholics , where did u get that number from
MRSlagle: I'd say from Wikipedia. It's a long and interesting read.
"Alcoholism in Ireland is a significant public health problem. In Ireland, 70.0% of Irish men and 34.1% of Irish women aged 15+ are considered to be hazardous drinkers.[1] In the same age group, there are over one hundred and fifty thousand Irish people who are classified as 'dependent drinkers'.[2]
Alcohol plays a large role in Irish culture. It is both an important economic industry for Ireland[3] and a key facilitator for social interactions. Alcohol use disorder is a major problem in Ireland, with Ireland having one of the highest consumption rates of pure alcohol in Europe, ranking second overall.[4] "
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1655322648 | 1655379059 | t3_vd30io | t5_2to41 | 120 | TheCremeArrow: TIFU by forgetting I was on Zoom and talking to my dog
I (30M) had a meeting like, 10 minutes from when I logged into the Zoom room. Figured I'd get some heads down work done while I was waiting for the call to start.
Totally zoned out working, and my dog walks in the room. He's got a fun habit of occasionally just walking into the room and staring at me for no apparent reason. So he does this, and I say, "Hey baby, why you being weird? You comfy?"
A second later I hear, "uhmmmmmmm...."
One of my coworkers (\~24F) had been in the zoom room, and since I'd been looking at my screen, it looked like I was staring right at her when I said it.
​
TL;DR: I forgot I was on zoom, talked to my dog, and inadvertently made it sound like I was saying some creepy shit to a coworker.
​
(She was very understanding when I explained my dog was in the room thank god)
MadFxMedia: Last summer I was taking a Zoom class for school. We had just met this instructor and we were settling into the lesson. Professor starts to describe something on screen and really drawls out saying "oreeennnnjjj" and I looked over to my fiance, who was also in the class with me, and I say " I HATE the way he says OREEENNNNJJJ."
My fiance looks at me with 😳 and I look up to see the entire Zoom class 🫢 and the teacher says "wut."
Apparently my mic was on when I said I hated the way my professor said orange.
and now ...
Now, Karma gets me back for it every chance she gets. And Fiance will never let me live it down.
Ecobay25: Well now it's gotta be one of your wedding colors. Sorry but those are the rules.
MadFxMedia: We have spoken at length about this and I have told him, we are allowed to have A bowl of oranges at the reception, and he's only allowed to tell the story if someone asks why we have a bowl of oranges.
| 4 | 30 | |
1655323931 | 1655326233 | t3_vd3i0d | t5_2to41 | 37 | nathanieltheghost: TIFU by not making sure I was "empty" after a bidet enema.
Just happened, approximately 5 minutes ago. I use a bidet for cleaning purposes and for occasional constipation relief. Business as usual today, I go, use the bidet to help flush out any "stragglers", clean up and go about the rest of my afternoon.
I must have rushed or was not as vigilant as I normally am, because 30 minutes later, I feel the urge to pass gas. Nbd, no one else is in the room, so I sneak one out (can't let them be heard). I immediately feel wetness instead of air. I clinch and haul ass to the bathroom. Sure enough, I have released ass water all over the seat of my pants. I sit on the toilet, expel the rest of the stink juice, wait a few minutes to make sure that was really all of it, and sneak my pants into the laundry room.
Luckily, no one witnessed my shame, but I felt the need to share, so here I am.
TL;DR Flushed out my anus with a bidet, didn't make sure all the water was out, water-sharted my pants.
frannyfranfran5: How strong is your bidet that its actually forcing water INTO your anus? Or do you have a special attachment?
Catchfades: Probably has those bidets with nozzle pressure adjustment, seat temp, water temp, nozzle positioning, and etc.
Or just spreads asscheeks open.
frannyfranfran5: I have one of those too. Its pretty high pressure. Even makes me yelp sometimes when I blast it. Not once has it ever cause water to actually enter my anus.
Catchfades: Man I had a time or two when I’m hungover on my bidet and I accidentally relax my asshole and I can feel some water go up and it makes me feel like I need to poop again and it’s no fun. I curse the relaxing warm water.
Probable definitely spreads asshole wide open thinking of the calming sunset
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1655319535 | 1655329346 | t3_vd1wft | t5_2to41 | 6 | Nosneb16: TIFU by being bad at high school.
When I (M16) was in sixth grade my sibling who was in eighth was considering joining an early college nearby. My mom was supportive because it could save money and she was definitely smart enough to get in. She decided to go to a regular high school to be able to stay in sports. I would have gone to that same high school my sister went to and I knew that all my friends would go there as well. I had this one friend in eighth grade who was brilliant and wanted to go to the same early college. I have never considered myself the most intelligent in the room. I knew I was smarter than most but never felt like I was the most intelligent wherever I go. I thought that I wouldn't be able to get into the school and I really didn't want to. I would prefer going to the other school with my friends, but I thought that it would be a good opportunity. I applied and went through the selection process. Then covid hit. I hated being at home and went from getting all A's, and B's to getting a 69 in math. I hated it the whole time and I thought being at home would make going to the early college even worse. One day I got informed by email. I was excited and accepted the offer before thinking about too much because I thought it would be stupid to back out. I was worried about covid but thought it would be over soon. It wasn't. I went into my first year of high school in small classes with thirteen people all spread out and we were in cohorts. A and B. I was in A and it was awful. We went to school on Mondays and Wednesday's. This lasted for nearly all of ninth grade. We finally went back to school full time but still had mask. I was constantly sad and stressed and didn't keep up with work as I should have because of it. We only had our college classes two days a week and we never met online so I thought they were less important. I didn't know anything about GPA. I wish that I did but I slacked in the worst classes to do so. I eventually saw that I had a 3.5 weighted GPA in our grading system. This isn't bad but most at my school have a 3.7 - 4.2. I was made about this but it then dropped to a 3.45 because I got a C in Spanish I which is weighted as a AP class. I wanted to bring it up so I worked very hard for the past semester to bring it up and I got a A in Spanish II and did well in all of my calculations. I did the math and I should have a GPA of 3.52 but when I checked I saw that I have a GPA of 3.46667 I was confused and checked my grades. It says that I got a 79 in a joint English History class that counts twice. I was confused because my average was a eighty five. In the beginning of the year the teachers said we would have a final paper as a exam grade which would be twenty five percent of our grade for the class. I heard this. We had multiple papers leading up to the final and I did poorly on each one and I wasn't sure why. I thought at some point our teachers said that this paper wouldn't be an exam grade but a regular grade for our final six weeks I thought this was weird but I turned it in got a 61% which I was made at but I would effect my GPA because my six weeks still averaged to a B in the class. They put the grade for the final six weeks and as a exam grade. My final six weeks grade dropped by 7 points due to the essay. If they didn't put the grade in twice my average would be enough to have an A in the class. I'm going to dispute it because it shouldn't be counted twice.
TLDR: I went to an early college without knowing about GPA and I don't do as well as my peers.
CrazyCrackhead101: how the hell were you in 6th grade while you were 16 ???
Nosneb16: No, I'm 16 today.
ShadeofIcarus: When do they teach you about paragraphs and line breaks?
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1655327016 | 1655331271 | t3_vd4n03 | t5_2to41 | 5 | EscortEmo: TIFU by being down bad
Women hate me or at the very least avoid me. I haven’t had a date in years. I’ve never had sex. I live with my parents and I don’t have a good job. People have told me that I need to deal with my misogynistic attitude. I know. I’m working on it. In the meantime I might just have to visit an escort.
Listen. I’m so down bad right now. I was talking with a receptionist at a restaurant today and she got close to me because I could hardly hear her. Her breath smelled like she didn’t brush her teeth. However her breath in my face really turned me on. I guess it’s just the feeling of a real woman’s breath on me. I know that’s messed up but I’m down bad.
I think I just need to save up my money and get an escort for a night. The problem is I live with my parents and they monitor my finances so I don’t know how that’s going to work.
Tl;Dr I am down bad
Odinkris: TL:DR I think "being down bad" is an actual sentence, can someone please translate? Because my brain is currently stroking out as its trying to understand this post
FreeOffbrandTherapy: It translates roughly to "peado"
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655326718 | 1655327591 | t3_vd4iuz | t5_2to41 | 34 | FRICKBUTT2: TIFU by writing in Russian
This happened today and I need some advice.
I’m learning Russian to communicate better with my coworkers. My coworker (call him T) and I, (Jay) thought it would be funny to write a note to our other coworker (call him M) in the plaster on the stone wall we’re building. M was supposed to cover the plaster the following day but got drug off to another job. We’re masons and it’s common to scribe level lines or measurements into the wet mortar while working. This job was subcontracted by a large cookie-cutter house manufacturer in the US. In the last 3 years we’ve done hundreds of houses for them.
T and M are both Russians, and I’m American.
I drew a big heart and put my name in Russian (Джей) inside the heart. Underneath T wrote “you” in Russian (Тебя)
“Jay” and “You” inside the heart, not super funny but definitely not offensive, or so I thought.
I get a call this morning from my boss...
“Hey I just had a interesting phone call with the superintendent at Cookie-Cutter House Company, and they said that you wrote ‘Jay wants to fuck you in the ass’ in Russian on this guys house?!”
The masonry work was expedited because the house just sold. Turns out the guy that bought it was Russian.
At first I thought that T set me up, so I told my boss that there must be a big misunderstanding, something lost in translation, yada yada. But when I brought it up to another Russian coworker they said that what I wrote was completely fine.
I shrugged it off until I got another phone call an hour later from my boss.
The new homeowner says that what was written is basis for a hate crime, and we wrote that because we found out a Russian was moving in. Now, my boss has to sit down with the state head of Cookie-Cutter House Company and the home owner and resolve the issue, all because of 2 words and a heart.
I believe the homeowner is making up what it actually means, and it reflects really poorly on me, T, and my bosses small business.
I feel really horrible about it, and I know I shouldn’t write shit on the walls, but I do think he’s blowing it out of proportion.
If there are any native Russian speakers could you tell me if what I wrote could be interpreted as offensive in any way?
TLDR: Wrote “Jay loves you” in Russian, new homeowner took it way wrong and wants my bosses company to be punished.
RandoCalrissian11: If it’s just Jay loves you than there is nothing that should be done. That’s literally the opposite of a hate crime. Take a Russian dictionary or Google translate it and show exactly what it means.
FRICKBUTT2: Thank you, I used the translate app and it just translates to “Jay” and “You”
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1655327525 | 1655328194 | t3_vd4tu8 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Tifu by letting my husband fist me while i was drunk lol
[deleted]
Stag_Lee: So... His dick is so big, you feel like you're going to die. But you're fine letting him fist you, and can go all night if he doesn't stop you?
I'm just curious what type of strange proportions does this guy have, that his whole hand is easier to take than his cock.
Thebeatybunch: lmao, my thoughts exactly.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1655326529 | 1655332713 | t3_vd4gbg | t5_2to41 | 10 | apejoyyy: TIFU doing a Kpop workout
I found this tiktok of Jungkook's workout and I decided to do the first part of 100 squats. I don't workout too hard or often so this was where it showed.
It was going pretty good, started to feel it a shit ton as I was getting to the 50s and did a nice good squat on 100. I felt pretty proud even tho I didn't do the whole workout/warm up? Then I went to shower and began to already feel it a bit but it was the normal workout soreness.
HOWEVER. I woke up this morning with the same soreness, but once I got up I noticed it's much worse. Then I sat on my toilet and my thigh muscles clenched so fking hard and I was dying. I instantly thought I might need to go to the hospital or smth. I pushed my self up from the toilet with my arms vision foggy. And weakly walked and flopped myself back in bed my head was spinning and ears were making like a air dryer/plane engine noise?
Now I am dying on my bed doing some stretches. I thought it was getting better earlier so I walked a bit but then I bent my leg the wrong way I guess and the muscle clenched so bad again.
Stretches and other tips are greatly appreciated.
TL;DR : I did a Kpop workout I found on tiktok and now I cant get up from bed because I suddenly overworked my legs.
Fit_Ad_7681: Whenever I work my legs, it's always the day after that feels fine, then the second day is hell. Pop some ibuprofen and hope you feel better.
apejoyyy: Oh Woah I wonder why it delays two days o: but thank you so much!!
Fit_Ad_7681: I've been asking that question for years. I don't know much about physiology so I'm not going to even try to guess.
apejoyyy: Lol awe well hope you find your answer soon!
| 5 | 2 | |
1655329328 | 1655839402 | t3_vd5hwh | t5_2to41 | 16 | Ottomon: TIFU By doing an extreme diet
This Actually happend today.
some backstory:
So I made a bet a few months back for 500$ to lose around 50LB in 6 months with a Friend. If one of us succeded and not the other, then the person who diddent succed had to Pay up. A week ago did I talk with my Friend for the first time in a month and he told be about all of the progress he has made. He was down almost 30 LB. I Painicked and said that I wasent doing as well but I had lost atleast 20LB and would go crazy hard theese last two months. I begrudently went to the scale and I was 5 LB heavier then where I started. So I needed to loose 55LB in 2months. And for most people would that seem like an impossible task but I was not going to let him beat me losing 500$ and also getting busted for bullshitting about my progress.
​
So I have some experiance with Water fasting. I have done it 3-4 as an attempt to Lose weight fast. The longest time I went was 8 days . Now what happens when you break a water fast from my experiance (Not an Expert ) Whatever you eat for the First time Basicly goes straight through you as your bodily functions used to break down food have been put on "Hold" as theyve have not been Necessary. From my experiance it will take 2-3 days of water fasting untill my body get to this "Fasting State" Where the first thing I eat will basicly just go straight through me and burst out with Incredible force. So whenever I did a water fast in the past I always broke it by eating so Buljong Soup for a day or two and then just sallads for the rest of the week.
So I knew I couldent do a water fast because of my new Job. I am in the Office mabey two/three days a week and diddent wanna seem like a weirdo that diddent go out to lunch with my coworkers.
So now to the Actual Fuck up. I decided to just eat Liquid meal replacement that contained 400 Calories once a day when I was not in the office and during weekends. So atleast 4 days a week. That together with long walks should do the trick. I started on Thursday last week. It was going well I was a bit tiered but it felt simlear to doing a water fast which in heindsight should have made me relaise what was coming. Now this Tuesday (Yesterday) was I in the Office and went to Lunch at a burget place, Had a big Burger with Fries and Aioli Dip. Tasted amazing after not eating anything but a meal replacement drink for 4 days. I felt okay during the evening but when I woke up at 6AM to go to the Office my Stomach felt Weird. But I was in a rush to get into the Office as I had morning meeting at 8:30 and I have an hour Commute.
So i got dressed and hopped on the Train As soon as I sat down in the train I knew that something wasent right. It swapped in a matter of Seconds from feeling weird and a bit ill to the feeling that of having to take a shit super badly. Now with my commute to work there is no way to get off and find a toilet as the train dosent stop near any gas stations. So i decided that I will hold it. The first 20 minutes was up and down. it swapped from being crazy preasure that I had to fight to keep in to being almost no preassure for a few minutes. Then as time went on the time of not feeling the same preasure to take a shit decreased from minutes to only a few seconds before the excruiating need for having a shit came back. The last 30 minutes of the train ride was one of the most Painful experiance of my life. I clinched my asshole as hard as I could while doing slow & deep breaths to try to stay calm. but it felt like it was impossible to hold untill I reached the Office. I contemplated jumping out of the train on the next stop and just shitting in a trash can or just accepting my fate and shitting in my pants. But I somehow managed to Hold on. I got to the final stop and at this point I was sure that some shit had leaked out as it felt moist in my pants and I still had a 400 feet walk to the Office. But I pushed through the pain and clinched my asshole like a madman as I walked those 400 feet praying to all the gods that I wouldent shit myself infront of my colleagues who walked behind me.
I got to the office instantly started walking to the toilet. Said hello to some people on the way trying to keep a face that diddent show that i was littearly seconds from shitting in my pants. When I got on the Toilet I bursted out a Waterfall of shit that lasted for atleast a solid 3 seconds. At this point i was sweaty AF , Completly exhausted and my stomach still felt like shit.
I checked the clock and had 30 minutes until my meeting. I knew i couldent skip that Meeting as I met 2 of the people who would attend the meeting on the way to the toilet. I decided to take 20 minutes to try to recover in the toilet. I took off my shirt and folded it. Lied down on the cold tile floor in the bathroom and used my shirt as a pillow. I put on my "Chill Playlist" and focused on my breathing. Some fucking way did I doze off from the exhaustion even tho my stomach felt like shit. I woke up 1hour 30 minutes later by a colleauge knocking on the door asking if I was okay. I checked my phone and noticed 14 Teams messages , Theyve had walked around the Entire office and not found me. At this point I was completly freaking out and the same colleauge knocked again . I responded "im just feeling a bit under the weather will be out in a sec" I gathered myself squeezed out a little bit more shit washed my hands and face. and did the only thing I could went out to face the music.
When i exited the toilet I met the guy who knocked on the bathroom door. from he's desk does he have a view of the toilet door so he most have noticed me going in there and then never leaving. I talked with him briefly as I left the toilet and thanked him for checking on me. It was super awkard but he diddent ask any questions thankfully. went to the 2 colleauges I was suppose to have the meeting and started apologising prefously for disappering. Theyve ofcourse asked what happen where i disapeared to and why I diddent let them know. I rattled my brain trying to find a way to get out of it but couldent think of anything so I just said that I would explain everything at lunch .
We went to the same burger place that caused my horrific morning so for obvious reasons did I just order a coke zero.
I explained everything in slightly less detail then I did in this post, Thankefully theyve took it well. There was parts of the story where theyve looked completly chocked and other parts where theyve were just straight up laughing.
So now I have learned my lesson and will not do this extereme diet anymore. Will try to find a more suistainable option even if it means that I will loose the bet :)
TLDR: doing an extreme diet led to me having the worst train ride of my life. And also caused me to doze of in the bathroom forcing me to have an awkard conversation with two colleauges.
Edit: Few spelling errors, I apologise for poor grammer not a native english speaker.
Vast_Reflection: What is water fasting?
Ottomon: It is when you just drink water and eat no food at all as a way to lose weight fast.
DozoLozo: If you're going for a longer fast than 1 day checking your health prior to that is essential. Fasts longer than 3 days should be supplemented with potassium, salt, magnesium and l-tyrosine (last is optional) and longer than a week should be supervised by a doctor just to be safe
| 4 | 4 | |
1655330407 | 1655331119 | t3_vd5w3v | t5_2to41 | 43 | FCAsOffice: TIFU by ruining a baby gender reveal.
Today my friend who I have know since secondary was having a baby gender reveal, lets call her Emma Emma trusted me with the whole thing massive get together all of our friends and her whole family, so it’s the day of the Reveal she’s hosting a party before she and her husband find out the gender so during the party I’m chatting with Emma her husband family and all our Friends, everything is going fine until one of us lets call him Jake brings up how he’s excited to know the gender because Emma always told him how he would be known as uncle Jake, and i say “well I know your going to be a great uncle to him we could all bond as boys” just like that in front of everyone I reveal the babies gender, I don’t know how or why but I clearly wasn’t thinking, then Jake says him? all shocked and I’m confused and then it hits me I just revealed it, and Emma was well I didn’t even know she was just standing there like everything just ended, but the husband he starts screaming full on screaming, how could you do this we trusted you with OUR babies gender and I just feel so dumb with realisation of what I did I left, and I’ve been sitting at home getting calls and text from all my friends (who were there) saying I messed up but luckily they weren’t really mad at me and then the family calls start to come in and there screaming Emma’s dad and mum her sister, the whole family who was there was loosing it! I haven’t really spoke to anyone since and I don’t know what to do.
TLDR: I accidentally revealed my best friends baby gender to her the husband our friends and her family.
Sorry if there are spelling mistakes.
Cheftyler1980: Eh, they’ll get over it eventually.
FCAsOffice: I feel like in 10yrs Emma is gonna tell him how I ruined his gender reveal party🥲
Cheftyler1980: 10 year old boy is going to look at her and say: “What’s a gender reveal party and why should I care?” Then she’s going to have to explain how this atrocious fad existed and made not a bit of difference in people’s lives.
FCAsOffice: Yeah I agree there stupid i only did it because I would of felt bad if I didn’t.
Cheftyler1980: At least you didn’t start a forest fire with this one.
| 6 | 7.166667 | |
1655333769 | 1655569612 | t3_vd743n | t5_2to41 | 11 | SarahEL17: TIFU by blurting out to my coworker that my mom has cancer
Earlier today while I was at work, we got a call from someone saying they didn’t receive a return label. It turns out I had given our shipping manager the wrong email address to send it to. Unfortunately, he didn’t send a copy to one of us and had to order a new return label, costing the company another ~$60. I was disappointed in myself but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
Still though, with my mom just having been diagnosed with cancer last week, I’ve been having a hard time, going between numb, sad, scared, and overwhelmed. Well, with that happening I just started feeling overwhelmed and my coworker started telling me that people make mistakes, it’s ok, etc. He was getting so animated and so I just blurted out what was *really* bothering me. “My mom has cancer.” He was very kind and comforted me, even letting me take a walk while he covered for me.
I just feel so weird about it. I was assuming I’d tell my coworkers at some point, but I didn’t think it would be like that. I’m also the only woman in an office full of men, and I struggle with depression and anxiety. I try to show that side of me as little as possible, but occasionally it comes out. I just hate feeling like people may think I’m fragile or feel like they need to walk on eggshells around me. It really doesn’t happen all that often, but I have a hard time with it when it does.
On top of that, I’m obviously still having a hard time with my mom’s cancer diagnosis. This whole thing has just felt unreal, almost like it’s happening to someone else. Looking back to what happened today, I feel like I’m watching some tv show or movie (and honestly, the moment probably would have been pretty corny/cringeworthy if it was in a film).
TL;DR - let a relatively minor issue overwhelm me and I blurted out to my coworker that my mom has cancer. Now I feel awkward, embarrassed, and still sad and scared about my mom’s cancer.
jeffinRTP: Not a fick-up. A diagnosis of cancer is frightening and your coworkers should understand that you are under additional stresses.
SarahEL17: Thank you so much. I guess it felt like a fu of my own mental health for that day, but I’m feeling a lot better about that particular situation. My coworker was and has been very kind about it. It’s just all so new and frightening, as you said.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1655333887 | 1655334533 | t3_vd75jf | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU: By matching with my girlfriend's therapist on Bumble
[deleted]
AdministrativeHair58: Now this is a true TIFU
Imaginary-Guess7908: Agreed!
Also agree w/ another comment that it’s time to break up because neither of you are ready for any relationship.
AdministrativeHair58: All day. Going on bumble isn’t for a confidence boost it’s to see what’s out there.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1655334793 | 1655346184 | t3_vd7h85 | t5_2to41 | 544 | [deleted]: Tifu by meeting my penpal of over a decade
[deleted]
mrdrm23: If you’re in Florida or near by I’ll take you camping - I love that shit. I’m camping right now
ladyinblack27: Canada, but thank you, I wish. I’ve lived for camping my whole life. I have a trailer and everything but it’s just so hard to do on my own now that this is my last trip before we sell it off.
AndrewNB411: Are you near Montana? I’ll go camping with you too.
ladyinblack27: Montana is so close to me, and such a good camping location
AndrewNB411: Feel free to DM me. I’m currently not working and struggling with my own health (getting a back fusion in July) so frankly I could use a getting out of town. So sorry that this person is treating you like shit. Struggling with your health is such a burden that most don’t seem to understand in the slightest.
| 6 | 90.666667 | |
1655335787 | 1655343593 | t3_vd7tr0 | t5_2to41 | 20 | nether_region: TIFU feeding moldy hot dogs to my kids
Hot dogs are one of the few foods both of my picky-ass kids will eat. They are a great, easy weeknight meal, if not the most healthy.
## The Fuck Up
Obligatory "not today" - more like a week ago - I prepared the usual plates with hot dogs and some veggies and let the little ones loose on them. My youngest immediately gorges himself on the hot dog and moves on to the unwanted veggies. Meanwhile, the older kid picks at a few things, then starts to eat their hot dog. A few bites in, they start yelling for me and suspiciously point to some telltale green, fuzzy spots on the bun.
I'm pretty horrified and inspect the rest of the buns, only to find them all consistently tainted with it. Sparsely enough for it to go unnoticed while preparing them, but far more than even the most waste-conscious person would tolerate.
The younger one definitely ate a whole-ass moldy bun. I imagine the ketchup covered up any funky flavors or he just hoovers up some food without tasting it.
## The Fallout
My older child has sworn off hot dogs, probably forever. The younger one has now been sick for several days and the timing is more than a little suspicious. He's happy to keep on eating hot dogs though, so I guess that's...good?
TL;DR
I didn't pay attention and fed hot dogs in moldy buns to my kids and now one is sick and the other will never eat hot dogs again.
Fit_Ad_7681: >if not the most healthy.
I'm not trying to judge, but I wouldn't exactly call hotdogs healthy. Then again, I'm not sure what kinds of things your kids will eat.
nanny2359: Spotted the commenter with no kids who probably still lives at home
Fit_Ad_7681: Well, you're not wrong.
nanny2359: Lol let's see how many I can get. Stay at home mom?
Fit_Ad_7681: Lol, I'm just a dude in his 20's.
nanny2359: I mean did you have a stay at home mom
Fit_Ad_7681: My childhood was ... complicated. Short answer is no.
nanny2359: Ach I overstretched
Fit_Ad_7681: You're good. Nothing bad, just not conventional or easily explained.
| 10 | 2 | |
1655337088 | 1655353998 | t3_vd8956 | t5_2to41 | 78 | Status_Try_5762: TIFU by allowing myself to be scammed off my savings
[removed]
Brandanpk: What was the platform?
igraywolf: They make up names, it’s a common scam.
| 3 | 26 | |
1655338934 | 1655339560 | t3_vd8vkq | t5_2to41 | 78 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my boyfriend a very explicit photo of both of us, and leaving our text messages open on the counter while I used the bathroom.
[deleted]
Lambykins20: I can only hope it wasn’t too… bad?
urmomsatmyhouse: Well, it was a picture of my face and his... thing. And my mouth wide open. I told my boyfriend as a joke that my mom's never going to ask me for a kiss again haha
gigglemaniac: What if she asks for lots?
urmomsatmyhouse: LOL I don't even want to imagine that.
| 5 | 15.6 | |
1655339107 | 1655341687 | t3_vd8xiq | t5_2to41 | 11 | cakemansham: TIFU by not using a burner account for my reddit ranting
TIFU by asking for advice on reddit. I made a post a couple months back basically outlining all of my issues with my ex and asking for advice. Now, looking back, the answer was pretty clear cut and didn't need advice BUT i did it anyways.
Here's where I fucked up. I used my personal account that I had been using for YEARS. It was the only reddit account I had ever used. So much information on there, although none revealing my identity, now with this post about my ex being recognized, everything I had posted was linked to me.
Now, maybe not a fuck up in it of itself, but it went viral on the tiktok and instagram accounts that post reddit stories and now it's been seen by people who know the story, including my ex...
Yup, my ex saw it. Let's just say it didn't paint him in the best light, and it was rather shitty tbh. Now, he's asking me to explain (which I will not do because I don't owe him anything) but my whole account felt compromised.
So, I deleted it and here's to starting new. The posts all still exist on reddit, but at least you can't connect them with my username!
TLDR// I used my reddit account to post a very personal rant/opinion piece and everyone in my life found it and found tons of other info about me because it was all on the same account.
PuertoP: Would be a shame if this post went viral on insta and tiktok aswell….
cakemansham: well luckily this is a new account and i didn’t say what post i made 🫠
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1655340359 | 1655340860 | t3_vd9bsy | t5_2to41 | 29 | pepperthedetector: TIFU by spraining my back masturbating to hentai
Story time!
Today, literally a few hours ago, I was working from home and decided to step away to relieve myself before taking a shower. My material of choice being some hentai. I sat on the toilet. Perused some of my preferred tags. Whacked one off bent over on the toilet. Getting back up, I had to take it a little slow, but wasn't painful. However, once I tried to bend over to pull my pants up, I found myself unable to do so due to a severe amount of pain in my lower back.
I walked outside the bathroom, and told my wife I needed to get her help to get dressed, then we were going to go to the doctors office since I literally could not bend over. We then drove to a nearby doctor's office, spent *3 hours* mostly waiting, with a urine sample, 2 xrays, and 2 *very painful* shots in the butt. I was prescribed 3 different medications that I now have to take. When we returned home, we found our pizza had gone bad from sitting out for too long.
When we got to the store where my prescription was sent, my wife bought some wine.
All in all, I ended up spending $100+an unknown amount on doctor's visit and xrays, lost half a day of work that now has to be made up, lost a pizza that had to be replaced, and ended up learning that I sprained my back, all because I masturbated on the toilet to hentai.
And only a couple of the manga I read were kinda good.
TL;DR: Sprained my back, lost half a day of work, an entire pizza, 3 hours of waiting, and over $100, due to masturbating to hentai. My wife lost a really good pizza, and gained a bottle of wine.
Butch2_0: What was on that pizza that made it go bad from sitting out for a few hours?
-Tenki-: Also my thought remembering pizzas I've left out for longer lol
Scared_Weekend_7979: Same ahahha, shit ill eat a pizza that was left out for a whole night in the morning.... maybe thats why my gut is always hurting 💀
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1655343810 | 1655359365 | t3_vdaf7j | t5_2to41 | 285 | barbarianinalibrary: TIFU by crop dusting my entire house
So I have an encapsulated basement where I set up my PC and other camping gear/tools/etc.. Its like my own man cave in this small house built in the 40s. I felt a warm gas bubble coming on and decided to head to my man cave and relieve myself. It was raunchy and hotter than the maw of Cerberus. What I didn't calculate for, is that there is a heatwave in my area and the AC is running nonstop. I usually hear the dehumidifier so I didn't think anything of the machine noise. I come back upstairs and my wife is walking around the house appearing disturbed. She says "Did somebody shit and leave the bathroom door open?" I begin to realize my situation. She continues "No, it's not coming from the bathroom, it's like, in every room of the house... How can someone shit in EVERY room in the house???"
Time to duck, dodge and evade. "I dunno, maybe the dogs are gassy?" I very intelligently respond. "No, this isn't like a dog thing, it's fucking ROUGH!" She exclaims. "That's super weird" I declare, implementing 4D chess tactics. "Ugh!" she gasps "I'm going outside."
I think I dodged this bullet, but let this be a warning to those who choose to rip one near the air filter in their furnace.
TL;DR - I ripped an unholy SBD where I thought it was safe in my basement and the HVAC system carried it to every damned room in the house, ruining my wife's afternoon. I narrowly escaped having to own up to this abomination.
misterdestructive: SBD? Shitty Birth Day? Stinky Butt Disaster? Sneaky Basement Desecration?
barbarianinalibrary: The classic silent but deadly
misterdestructive: You know, I just woke up when commenting and I racked my brain trying to figure out what the hell SBD stood for. It seems so obvious now.
barbarianinalibrary: Sneaky Basement Desecration is def runner up if you ask me
misterdestructive: 😂 I thought that one was the cherry on top for sure.
| 6 | 47.5 |
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