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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1655490637 | 1655824741 | t3_vemqn6 | t5_2to41 | 11 | armia6969: Tifu by crashing my dads car..
I am 18 and got my license a few months back and the amount of shit that happened kinda makes me want to stop driving. My moms car battery got caught on fire because of the jumpstart cables, note that the battery is in the trunk and obviously where else beside the trunk to keep the jumpstart cables ,so i did and it was looped up and kept beside the spare tyre (also in the trunk) and 8 months after somehow the cables unloop and the cables connect to the battery terminals , unbeknownst to me i drive like a normal day and the trunk starts smoking ,opened the trunk and fire goes up to my neck and burns my hair.. And obviously it was my fault for placing the cables their.
And today i went for a normal drive with my dads 4x4
And as i came back home to park the car (note that i live in a villa and the garage are cement walls) as i was backing the car into the garage i was only paying attention to the right side mirror cause my moms car is parked their and as i backed up ,my dads car was close to my moms like really close but not close enough for collision so i didnt bother checking the left mirror cuz if this side is close how will i hit the other.(or so i thought)
I sped up a bit and as i backed up, a large collision sound came and thats when i knew i f*ked up.
I place the car in park, went back to check and saw i hit the left side of the garage and the left side of the rear bumper is fkd.
Honestly you can never get too comfortable when driving,not even in your own garage..
And i cant help but blame myself for my stupidity,honestly the most atrocious and stupid mistake i felt i have ever done..
I feel stupid and am sure my parents feel somewhat the same about me..
TL;DR
so i backed into the left side of the garage.
SubstantialEase567: Rookie mistake, we all made them. Do the smart thing and learn! You're right, driving shouldn't be too relaxing. You have to watch all the corners and now you know why!
rumble_salt: Farm kid here. I didn’t go through that stage because my dad made me run stuff from a young age… not being judgmental here, I think we need to find a better way to train kids than telling them to pass an easy test and giving them the freedom to make mistakes.
I’m 38 and have never hit anything I didn’t mean to hit with a car. (I’ve pushed a bunch of old junkers with other old junkers, but that doesn’t count)
armia6969: Experience and practice plays a big role for sure..
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1655491044 | 1655502845 | t3_vemw26 | t5_2to41 | 16 | ArtisticPercentage89: TIFU by sending anime memes to company executives
This isn’t a big fuck-up — esp compared to 90% of stuff on here — and the memes in question are super super vanilla. BUT I’m suffering from *heavy* second-hand embarrassment so I’m here to share it.
Context: I’m 21F, a summer intern at a big tech company (you most likely use their products)
I really want a full-time offer. But as you know, there’s a massive tech hiring freeze right now. I’m probably going to graduate into a full blown recession, and I don’t think re-recruiting now is the best idea. AKA I’ve been treating this internship super seriously.
We mainly use Slack to communicate, and naturally there’s a mixed interns + HR channel.
So 2 hours ago, I ask in this channel whether there’s a channel dedicated to interns, kind of like a water-cooler chat for bants. One of the other interns reply with a channel #.
I join: there’s ~100 people, and a quick scroll at the members reveal a lot of interns from different departments. Cool.
So I send in [this delightful and harmless collection](https://imgur.com/a/evEDvEu) of pictures, and carry on with my work. I think I’m pretty funny, and I wanted to generate some sort of friendly debate between the interns about the best language (Python & Rust. Fight me.)
30 minutes later I decide to look up my boss’ boss to see which slack channel I can contact him in, and I see the “intern only” channel.
Not kidding the *speed* at which I clicked into the channel again would have broken my WPM record. Scoured the member list much more carefully this time, and I see:
“Head of University Campus Recruiting”
“Head of Software Engineering”
“Head of Product Design”
“Principal Product Manager”
and ~5 more executive friends
🥲
I’m praying that ALL of them were in meetings in that half an hour. But it’s also lunch break.
TL;DR I sent vanilla anime memes into slack channel thinking it was only interns, turns out a bunch of managers and directors were also chilling in there.
NympOmatik: I’m almost 100% certain you’re going to be ok.
ArtisticPercentage89: I know 🥲 but still the cringe 🥲 I can’t take it 🥲
NympOmatik: How do you know that they aren’t anime-maniacs too?
I can also guarantee that they are making fun of you in a private-private channel.
| 4 | 4 | |
1655492594 | 1655492846 | t3_vengns | t5_2to41 | 13 | thekrazybadass_1987: TIFU by mocking a disabled person.
[removed]
_null_route: Not really mocking. Slip of the memory, sure.
thekrazybadass_1987: Yeah. Happens to most of us.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1655492681 | 1655531319 | t3_venhvr | t5_2to41 | 6,264 | CapablePerformance: TIFU by telling a coworker about a trip I took as a kid
So, an hour ago, I was in a meeting to discuss a project and before we started, my supervisor wanted break the ice by asking us what our favorite summer memory was as a kid. Everyone is giving these really classic Americana answers like hanging out with friends till the street lights came on, going fishing, etc. Meanwhile my family barely did anything or went anywhere because we didn't have much money; most summer's I'd just stay home and watch whatever was on tv or play a video games except for this one summer where a classmate invited me to join him on a roadtrip to six flags so I told that story figuring it's better than telling a bunch of managers about when I beat Zelda 2 in an afternoon.
When it comes to my turn, I talk about going on a roadtrip to Disneyland, it's just maybe a 10 hr drive from where I grew up and how it would be my first time going there and how excited I was. I talk about how I got carsick and my friends dad didn't want to pull over, how it was 100+ degree heat and they didn't want to turn on the AC so I was boiling alive, all while telling myself "It's for Disneyland! DISNEYLAND!", passing the time by singing Disney songs in my head. After all the annoyances, what felt like a week to an eight year old, we finally get to Disneyland, go on the monorail, and I'm making a mental note of "I wanna go on that ride, and that ride, and that ride", just for the monorail to end, and my friends dad say that it's time to go to beat the traffic. Eight year old me is crushed, we just drove all this way, rode the monorail, and that's it!?".
As I'm telling this story, I just see one of my coworkers in the meeting look very confused, like he's trying to remember something while the rest of my coworkers have this look of pity and ask if I ever got a chance to go back and enjoy disneyland. Halfway into the meeting the one coworker just shouts out "DUDE! THAT'S FROM TINY TOONS!". He starts to explain Plucky Duck's plot of the Tiny Toons Summer Vacation movie where he goes to an amusement park with Hampton's family.
Apparently I had watched that movie so many times one summer when it first came out that, as time passed, I started to misremember it. For the at least the past decade, I had honestly thought I went on a roadtrip with a friends family that was that horrible but nope, just really loved Tiny Toons.
TL;DR: Watched a cartoon so many times one summer that I mistook it for a memory and told it to my coworkers.
endorsedfool85: Was your friend real?
CapablePerformance: He was, but I'm just now realizing I never even met his family. lol
FuRetHypoThetiK: Have you checked the carbon monoxide levels at your place? Just asking.
C-tapp: Or eaten any bear meat?
batpot: What? Because of trichinosis?
C-tapp: Just another famous Reddit thread. Every time the CO thread gets brought up, my mind goes right to “don’t eat bear meat”
batpot: That's funny... Would love to read it if you come across it.
Wish I had saved poop knife and CO2.
C-tapp: https://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/7fw2bl/redditor_realises_he_has_contracted_a_horrific/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Here’s a link to the link, but it looks like original might be gone
| 9 | 696 | |
1655493051 | 1655498309 | t3_venmqj | t5_2to41 | 3 | Mark2_0: TIFU by starting jogging
This started early in the year and I'm still dealing with it now.
WFH has been great, I'm able to get a lot more done and get my work done a lot more efficiently without the constant interruptions of people stopping by my desk at the office, I love it. The only problem is that it's also made me less likely to step away from my desk and I've found that I spend way to long sitting there. I realized that I needed to get more exercise in and got myself into the habit of going on longer walks in the evenings or taking a lunch time walk around the neighborhood, which has all been a great way to destress. My wife and I also did a couple of official 5k race/walks late last year, it was good.
At the same time a friend had started the Couch to 5k program last year and had done a few races. My sister had done the same and I figured what the hell, I'm already walking a ton, I might as well start jogging and maybe do a run myself later this year. My right knee has always had weakness issues so just in case I bought myself a brace then went to go find an app and slowly started jogging. It was going well but about 6 weeks in I felt that I wasn't quite where the app wanted me to be for the amount of time that it wanted me to jog and since I wasn't really on any time constraints why not just start over.
About a week into the restart I was out for a morning jog, music going, good pace, everything going well, and kicked a part of the sidewalk that was raised slightly. My knee gave out, I went down hard on the sidewalk, and felt it bad in my lower back. After sitting in the grass nearby for a bit self-assessing I thought I was ok enough and decided to cut my jog short and just make my way back home. The walk home felt ok'ish, the little bit of jogging to test things out that I did felt fine. I was mostly just annoyed at myself and my scraped up hands and knee over the whole thing and figured I'd rest today and get back out there in a couple of days and keep on keeping on.
The next day was much less fine, damn did my back hurt, I think I spent most of that day laying on the floor taking advil. Through the week I could sit fine so was able to WFH mostly ok, though there may have been a few points where I was laying on the floor near my desk listening for message notifications and checking/responding to emails from my phone. It took a few days until I was able to walk with only a few twinges of pain in my back and legs. Two weeks of this and my back wasn't feeling 100% but it felt ok enough that I thought I'd give jogging another shot or at least go for a walk, let me just take it slow and see how it goes. I may have been going a little stir crazy sitting around the house too. It did not go well, that first bounce of impact did not feel nice in the slightest. My jog turned into a much shorter then usual walk because I was having some balance issues, it felt more like a drunken stumble then a walk and I decided I should schedule something with my doctor.
He checked me out but wasn't certain about what was going on, maybe it's a herniated disc, maybe a bad sprain, hard to say, let's give it a little more time and see if it sorts itself out. He asked me to let him know if it gets worse and he could schedule some physical therapy and maybe an MRI or something to check things out.
Since then things only got worse, I went from 15k-20k steps a day to barely being able to make it 3k without feeling like I'm dieing, nevermind trying to jog at all. My balance has sucked, longer walks it feels like I'm stumbling all over the place. At one point I kicked a sprinkler head that was stuck up because I didn't notice it and ended up in the grass when I couldn't catch myself. Over Memorial Day weekend we went to a boardgame convention where, luckily, I could sit a lot but the hotel it was in had stairs everywhere and only one set of elevators on one side of the hotel. It felt like I was climbing Everest every time I went up the stairs while also having to hold onto the railing for dear life going down because I thought I was going to lose my balance and take a tumble.
As soon as we were back I called the doctor's office about scheduling some physical therapy and that MRI. The PT is going good, it's definitely helping, I'm not back to my usual steps but I can go about half of my old route without feeling like I'm going to die, I just have to take it slower. Balance is still an issue but we're working on that too. I'm still waiting on the MRI but maybe the PT will at least get me most of the way back to where I was before the trips I have coming up later this year where I'm going to have to walk a lot.
TLDR: Started jogging, hurt myself, still recovering from it, exercise bad!
Also I think I need to find an exercise routine that doesn't include jogging...
ouzo84: Try cycling, less impact on the joints.
Fit_Ad_7681: And most bikes will go over a slight raised surface easily.
| 3 | 1 | |
1655495852 | 1655556636 | t3_veomp7 | t5_2to41 | 52 | Cryso_L: TIFU by showing my boyfriend America’s favorite pastime.
So this happened last weekend, not today. But I finally have time to tell the story.
So my boyfriend [37M] is from France. I [26M] grew up in the USA. We have been dating for about 2 months.
He really enjoys American culture, and I have played baseball my whole life. I decided to surprise him by buying him a baseball glove and teaching him to play catch. He was ecstatic and very eager to get out in the backyard and learn.
We started off slow. He dropped most of the balls as I lobbed them very softly to him, and coached him how to catch it more efficiently. He was getting better and better until after ~30 catches back and forth, he missed, and the ball hit him right in the nose.
I ran over, as he was covering his face with tears in his eyes. He had a cut and was bleeding and I rushed him inside and cleaned it out and got him ice to quell the swelling. He assured me he was fine, and we went out to get sushi after i bandaged his nose which made him look like a boxer.
We got a lot of stares at the bar, and I still lose sleep each night thinking about how I hit my boyfriend in the face with a baseball. :-‘)
TL/DR: taught my French boyfriend how to have a baseball catch and hit him in the face. Feel extremely bad about it a week later.
DangerZoneSLA: Ooohhh, BASEBALL. I thought you meant spousal abuse. My b.
/s
p143245: I myself was going for mass shootings
lemonade_w: Was happy when op didn't mention schools
| 4 | 13 | |
1655495959 | 1655578798 | t3_veoo2l | t5_2to41 | 17,524 | Red_Sour_Cherry: tifu by finding millions of maggots in my kitchen
Let me start by saying I usually keep a clean home. I have a very very old house(built in 1895) I have been remodeling and fixing it since I bought it in January. So we only live here about 1/2 the time.
So now to the story.
I started to notice an abnormal amount of flies in my kitchen which was no surprise it’s getting hot out and I have an old house that needs new windows.
So I set out traps like those sticky things that hang and started deep cleaning to see if there was a cause for them. Didn’t find anything until the next day.
I woke up went to my kitchen and noticed thousands of flies… 🤮🤮🤮 gross I know.
I get my husband and we started removing everything from the kitchen. Like everything microwave, stove, dishes, threw away most of the food etc.The last thing to move was the fridge… this is where shit gets gross fast.
We started to pull it out then you could hear the buzzing. Just when we figured out the buzzing is behind the fridge the smell hit.
If you ever smelled anything rotting in the heat for a week you know the smell.
At that point we had to walk away and open all the windows. We didn’t know what was dead or what to expect so we called some friends over to help us while we got a dumpster on the way. We knew damn well that fridge wasn’t coming back in the house.
🤮🤮🤮
Pulled the fridge out and found a dead cat. Don’t know whose cat it was. We didn’t have a cat.
The smell was putrid it was so decayed that the maggots in its skin made it look like it was still moving.
My husband used a snow shovel to scoop it up so we could get it out of the house and it fell apart. Maggots splattered all over the floor flies flew out of its decaying body and scattered across my house.
We ran out of the house spent 30 mins puking and trying to get our selves together.
Took us almost 6 hours to clean with lots of breaks then stayed at a friends house for a week while to got the smell out.
TL;DR tifu by finding millions of maggots in my kitchen after a cat at some point died behind my fridge.
threedogcircus: How did you not notice the smell before that...
Red_Sour_Cherry: Probably because I only live there part time since we are remodeling.
threedogcircus: But you walked in the house... If there's a dead cat decomposing in a room in your house, the whole house smells, guaranteed.
Red_Sour_Cherry: Hmmm i honestly don’t know why we didn’t smell it until we started to move the fridge. Definitely not a smell im going to forget anytime soon. 🤢
wattjake: Maybe the cat got stuck under the fridge and it kept the smell somewhat contained? Then moving the fridge got it good and stirred up
Maybe_Not_The_Pope: You can smell a dead rat in a wall, the fridge shouldn't have held the smell back.
Tetracyclon: Depends on your walls and how that place is vented. Also magotts need about 30 mins to hatch after th eggs are laid and 5-7 day till you get a fully developed fly. So one could assume that cat laid there maybe for a day or two, since the larvae would have pupated if it laid there much longer.
sir_crapalot: Holy shit they hatch in *30 minutes?!I*
RikenVorkovin: Depending on the fly type some lay live larvae.
I remember knocking a fly out of the sky as a kid once and I had ruptured it's abdomen.
Examining the remains I saw maggots crawling around in the opening.
Danielsuperusa: Jesus fuck, now I hate flies more than ever before.
RikenVorkovin: One way to think about flies is as natures nanite clean up and redistribution crew.
It's pretty fascinating to think that anything biological gets picked up and redistributed to other living things that eat flies like birds, other insects, etc.
Flies and other decay eaters are true MVPs in alot of ways despite our inherent disgust of them at times.
Danielsuperusa: >redistribution
OH GOD AND THEY ARE COMMUNISTS?!
(jk)
RikenVorkovin: Now that I think of it. Sometimes a flys buzzing somehow sounds like comrade a at times.
Danielsuperusa: Ok, so they redistribute, they say comrade, and they have red eyes.... Now I can surely get the US government to get rid of the little fuckers! Lmao
RikenVorkovin: Lol
| 16 | 1,095.25 | |
1655496473 | 1655503539 | t3_veov5s | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting in someone’s personal space .
[removed]
weissmanhyperion: Don't walk up on anyone during an altercation if you don't plan on being physical
Professional_News_83: She spat on me I just walked up to tell her to stop it as we were next to each other
weissmanhyperion: You could also walk away while telling her to stop, it's not that complicated.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1655498566 | 1655508902 | t3_veplv6 | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking Ambien at a hotel in Atlanta during a layover
[deleted]
aBlackTrain: Did you find your belongings did you just take your clothes off in your room then dive out into the hallway.
WhiskeyNAmbien: Apparently I got undressed in my hotel room and dove out into the hall. The fact I had my shoes on is strange. It makes me think possibly I was naked in my room and then had a brilliant idea to go somewhere, just put my shoes on and got outside my room and then fell asleep.
aBlackTrain: That’s hilarious. My mom takes ambien and one time she flipped me and my brothers off. That was completely uncharacteristic of her and cracked us up.
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1655498882 | 1655508340 | t3_veppsv | t5_2to41 | 6 | Christianflirtbad: TIFU by flirting with girls at church
I made a post on here a while back about how I was flirting with girls at a church and how I got removed from a young adult group within that church. Maybe this is a silly question but is that supposed to be apart of my testimony? I haven’t really shared about that experience with many people in real life but I have on here.
After getting a lot of feedback I’ve learned that I was being inappropriate in the way I handled things with these girls. I also lost my relationship with my pastor as a result of all of this. I sometimes go to a different church and I haven’t flirted with any girls. In fact, I haven’t really flirted with any girls outside of church either.
I posted this because I wanted to know if that story would be at all helpful to share with sinners. Also this probably won’t happen but people in my life keep prophesy that I’ll be a pastor someday. They seem very adamant about it. I feel like I’m going to to have to face the consequences of what I did at that juncture in my life as well.
Should I bring it up anymore with anyone or just drop it? I’ve repented and tried to make amends where I can. I don’t know if I’m being vulnerable or just making a mistake.
Tl;Dr I don’t know if I should tell anyone else about my experience at church that I learned from
Agret_Brisignr: That's ***fellow sinners*** to you, perv
Kickingmonks: I'm going to hell with all of my friends
| 3 | 2 | |
1655498975 | 1655504365 | t3_vepqyw | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU by coming out to my family and getting kicked out.
[deleted]
DoIKnowYouHuman: (I’m going to get so much shit for asking, but I find it weirdly important) what are you having at McDonald’s?
[deleted]: Haha I just got some fries and a Coke, pretty good thinking food
DoIKnowYouHuman: That’s for sure, pick at it while mulling things over!
What country you in you get fries on the breakfast menu?
[deleted]: I would rather not disclose my country but I ordered from the regular menu, I'm not sure if that's different in other places :)
DoIKnowYouHuman: Why the reluctance to share the country? You literally have people giving you advice based on their assumptions, wanting to help you, wanting to see you safe. You’re on a newly created profile, stating your country will put you at no more risk of harm than you are currently in, but it will mean everyone can offer advice more tailored to you
[deleted]: I'm in Brunei, sorry for the reluctance. I'm just not used to sharing personal information online.
DoIKnowYouHuman: So as far as I know sex between men in Brunei is illegal…which means all the advice about going to any government organisation is pointless, what you need is a specialist charity or non governmental organisation to help you…I’ll start having a look for them now
[deleted]: Thank you so much
DoIKnowYouHuman: Fuck it, I'm calling ballshit on this story and I don't care what response I get!
OP doesn't only claim they are from a homophobic country many, different many, another many times, but also states they are from Brunei where its not just homophobic its illegal for two men to have sex. Yet OP has had people saying go to the Police, or local government, or hospital, or school, or even fire station for immediate assistance...but OP still resisted saying where they were on this planet...instead relying on the "homophobic" line.
Moreover, OP states they are 15, and came to the realisation in "the past few months", even in more western accepting societies a few months is pushing it for realisation, let alone coming out to your parents when there is a regional background of homophobia and the illegality.
u/Neat_Actuator_6440 do you want to know what really tipped it for me, its the fact that you posted this story in r/TIFU, anyone who is actually in the situation you are making up wouldn't be on this sub, they wouldn't even freshly create a user to post it, they would be using what little battery life they had when they didn't have a charger to research local support groups and networks.
| 10 | 5.3 | |
1655499640 | 1655552588 | t3_vepzlo | t5_2to41 | 24 | SchnarchendeSchwein: TIFU by accidentally exposing a child to a horrible court case via Bluetooth and my obsession with fundamentalists
So, when I’m not busy working (my specific work is very feast or famine in its nature), I keep an eye on my neighbor’s 10 year old, Oliver. He doesn’t need a lot of supervision while she works, but to be able to use the pool or leave the apartment building, he should have an adult. It’s also best not to leave a kid alone all the time, so I mostly just keep him company and go places with him.
I’m also weirdly obsessed with cults and fundamentalists, called “fundies” in forums that discuss various families like the Duggars and others. So I read and watch a lot of stuff about them and their theology.
I took Oliver with me to a store, and turned on the car and AC, leaving him in it for a few minutes while I put the cart back. It took longer than I thought. Anyway.
My phone automatically hooks into Bluetooth in the car and keeps playing what I last looked up. Which was about the Josh Duggar case.
If you’re not living under a rock, you know what Josh did. 10 year old Oliver got an earful about the case before I came back and realized my mistake. He then proceeded to ask me what CSAM (the term used by YouTubers, since they can’t say “porn” or “abuse” without being demonitized) was. Kill me now.
TL;DR: car Bluetooth accidentally played detailed analysis of Josh Duggar case with 10 year old in backseat. Awkward questions.
mayormcskeeze: I guess I live under a rock.
SchnarchendeSchwein: Josh Duggar got 12.5 years for downloading and receiving a lot of the worst kind of child porn. It’s called CSAM “child sexual abuse material” by law enforcement and YouTube.
mayormcskeeze: Huh.
He's some reality TV person with lots of kids, right?
SchnarchendeSchwein: Seven. Some of his kids were the same age as in the videos
mayormcskeeze: That's too many kids.
JudgeAdvocateDevil: The Duggars think the vagina is a clown car.
| 7 | 3.428571 | |
1655502079 | 1655505091 | t3_vequ6v | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU seeing a dead friend of mine on Telegram
[deleted]
rhumbamatic: The fact that y’all are sharing nudes of people presumably without their consent is fucked up. I hope you learned something from this and recover but reconsider doing such things in the future.
Billiekoy: I certainly did. I won't reason out. What I did was disgusting. I hate every inch of me for letting me be invited into being around with such people.
rhumbamatic: I don’t think you need to take it that far. Be ashamed of your actions yes, but don’t hate yourself. Learn from this experience an do better going forward.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1655503960 | 1655568206 | t3_veri4q | t5_2to41 | 17 | Bright_Cauliflower10: Tifu by ingesting self tanner
So last night i was self tanning (the kind that takes a week to develop vs a traditional one) when i got out of the shower, my husband came home from work early and kinda threw off my tanning routine , so I didn’t wash my hands afterwards and we went to bed shortly after - i like this self tanner because it doesn’t transfer into the sheets when you sleep (and we have baby pink sheets/ satin pillows) + only takes like 10 minutes to dry
So I ingested self tanner when I was pleasuring my husband but I didn’t notice till halfway through but still kept going, afterwards he fell asleep + I was in bed, thinking because I couldn’t sleep + thought my mouth tastes funny
It stared with me going “oh chill, it’s non toxic, you’re just paranoid” to me checking the bottles to see if they were nontoxic, to seeing if there was a warning/ poison control number, to wondering if because they were super old (leftover bottles form last year that I was juuust finishing) if they were like lethal?? To googling if I could die, to ending up on some random veterinary blog/ site?? Where someone asked a vet if her dog would die for chewing on a bottle of self tanner but the vet said it was okay, he might just throw up but it shouldn’t be a problem if it was only a little bit, and as long as he swallowed no plastic
So I was telling my husband about my thought process last night @ 2 am and he looked at me like I was crazy the whole time haha, then he said something annoying and I said something sassy back, then he hopped into the shower and yelled back “you know i heard you could die from ingesting self tanner, that might be the last thing you’ll ever say to me” Ha ha 🙄
Tl;dr tifu by listening to my anxious mind at 2 am and ended up on a website where a lady asked her vet if her dog would be okay if he ate some of her self tanner
zilnosnibor: Ok but does this mean his manhood is going to be tanned now? In essence you were rubbing self tanning lotion on him, but I guess you were removing it at the same time too. I just want to know with the self tanner, do you count Mississippilessly 😂
Bright_Cauliflower10: Wait what is Mississippily??
And I’ll have to update this in a week and see if his balls are any orange-y lol
zilnosnibor: That word is from an episode of Friends when Ross goes to a tanning salon and they have a booth. You face the front and count to 10 for example, then you turn around so your back can be sprayed. But he was counting one Mississippi, two Mississippi etc. So he didn't get his back and front sprayed, he was sprayed twice on the front. He asked the guy how do you count, guy goes 1,2,3,4. Ross goes Mississippilessly?
Sorry, long answer, but it is a hilarious scene.
Bright_Cauliflower10: Oh lmaooo that’s hella funny, thank you for clueing me in hahahaha (:
zilnosnibor: 
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1655506505 | 1655507139 | t3_vesdkx | t5_2to41 | 30 | HootieAndTheSnowcrab: TIFU by taking a road trip shortly after eating fiber bars
So my husband and I are taking a road trip to visit family. We didn’t have a ton to eat at home and we were kind of in a hurry to get on the road. I grabbed a couple fiber bars because I was really hungry and thought they would do until I got something else. While on the road it hits me about 2 hours in. I had to go…badly. So we stop at a gas station, no biggie. We brought our dog on this trip, so I went in while my husband stayed in the car with the dog. I go in and start using the bathroom, even though the music here was the loudest gas station bathroom I’ve ever heard in my existence, it still wasn’t loud enough to cover my wet-sounding, sick farts. It was terrible! I tried half-way standing up to spread my cheeks a little to make the farts less loud…um yeah that didn’t work. I feel like that kind of made it worse. So at this point I’m already embarrassed. I’m a shy pooper and not happy about everyone in this bathroom hearing what sounds like the Nutty Professor’s dinner time. Anywho, at a certain point I had to cover my mouth because it was funny to me…I almost audibly laughed out loud. While I’m in there a lady goes into the stall to my right. The first thing she says to her friend is that, “OMG Cynthia, someone left their panties in here.” So clearly she’s already irritated.
But here is the ABSOLUTE WORST PART. When I wiped, I accidentally dropped. the. paper. AND IT ROLLED INTO THE STALL RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Everything went quiet. She clearly saw it, she stopped talking immediately. I’m pretty sure it hit her exposed foot through her Birkenstocks. I didn’t know what to do…would she kick it back over? Do I grab it? I sat there pooping, making fart noises, worried that if I didn’t act quickly I would die of embarrassment.
Yeah so basically I panicked and ran out, washed my hands very quickly, and went back to the car. I quickly recap the story to my hubby in the car as he’s laughing at me the entire time. My husband goes in to use the restroom while I stay with the dog and I wait there in complete disgrace with myself, worried I will see Birkenstock-lady and out myself from the look of horror on my face.
My husband gets back to the car and says that he’s pretty sure he saw her in there. He said there was a woman freaking out, pointing at her foot and making a huge scene to her husband. Her husband apparently tried to console her…
All I can think now is that I did this…and the fiber bars are still affecting me. I’m still on the road. Will this happen again…will someone else be caught in my shit-storm along the way…I feel terrible, morally and physically.
TL;DR: I basically ate fiber bars before a road trip and accidentally dropped a bunched-up poop rag on the lady’s foot in the stall next to me.
OkVolume1: When a road trip turns into a comode trip.
HootieAndTheSnowcrab: 😅
| 3 | 10 | |
1655507787 | 1655513381 | t3_vest8z | t5_2to41 | 10 | Chunky-Wunkie: TIFU by visiting r/eyeblech again
I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every time I go to r/eyeblech, I feel queazy for the rest of the day. The shit I see ranges from a woman curving her body in such a way to shoot diarrhea down her throat, dead children, suicide by hanging, and people getting their head blown off. I thought I would have learned to stay away by now, but I just can’t help but to come back every now and then. It’s like something comes over me and I get super curious about what can ruin the rest of my day. It also kinda helps me cope with life. I’m able to see how strong our bodies are, how suicide is never an option (with how morbid it is and seeing failed attempts), and it’s also interesting to see how accurate horror films are at portraying dead bodies. I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this and feels this way, but I definitely feel at minority when most of the r/eyeblech community is making fun of people dying and saying it’s “funny.” The community reminds me of the college kids that got kicked out for making a meme of a Mexican child hanging by a noose and putting “Piñata” in bold letters underneath his feet. It’s weird because r/eyeblech settles my curiosity and helps me cope with life. But it also makes me depressed seeing how fucked up the world can be. I understand the best way to get through life is to laugh and have fun, but some of what they’re saying is fucked up. I guess what they say isn’t as fucked up as r/insex or r/guro (DO NOT go there. Idgaf how curious you are, you will most definitely regret it. Insex is a subreddit with people having sex with dog-sized insects. Guro is a subreddit of animated necrophilia and duo suicide with your partner) but I can’t help but to think about it. It’s like I’m addicted to being depressed or grossed out.
TLDR: I visited r/eyeblech again, despite the fact that I regret it every time. I’ve also come to notice how cruel some of the people in the community can be.
TypicalRaptor64: I went there accidentally while trying to find r/eyebleach big mistake
Chunky-Wunkie: Like why tf do they call it eyebleach 😭
lemachet: Because you need to bleach your eyes after seeing all that sickening cuteness.
Chunky-Wunkie: No, the wholesome subreddit is r/eyebleach with the piggy as the picture. r/eyeblech is the subreddit I’m talking about. You’d think eyebleach is the bad one and eyeblech was the wholesome parody, but God knows it isn’t.
lemachet: Oh,I know.
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1655508349 | 1655509990 | t3_veszow | t5_2to41 | 4 | Some_Plenty_7651: TIFU By waking up at the worst possible time
I'm on mobile so I do apologize if formatting is off.
So a bit of background information for this story. My family had a small cottage. When I say small I mean it. This had very few rooms and we would bring a guest or two with us (a family of six). So when this story took place we brought our (now former) neighbor and his granddaughter. So all the rooms were taken up. I volunteered to sleep on a couch because I can fall asleep easily in most situations.
This leads to the what happened. So we had also brought our dog with us. It was about 6am or 6:30am, and he was about to throw up. So my dad who noticed got up and started to bring him outside (grabbed his collar to guide him). This is when I should say that my dad doesn't often sleep with clothes on. I had no clue this was happening. I woke up at the worst possible time. I opened my eyes as my dad was about a foot from my face. This was a time when he didn't wear clothes to bed. He had no clue I had seen what I saw. Me being to tired to do anything thought "I am not awake enough for this". So I just turned over and went back to sleep.
My parents didn't know about this for about a year after the event of this story. When I told them they started laughing for a good few minutes. I'm still a little shocked from what I saw because, you know, who wouldn't be. But I still tell this story and laugh a bit too, because just about everyone does.
TL;DR I woke up while sleeping on a couch to see my dad's member
lemachet: Oh I so hoped this was going to devolve into the dad and the neighbors grand daughter.
PancakeProfessor: Pornhub has ruined us all.
lemachet: I dunno if it ruined me. My step sister won't talk to me any more, I can't speak for her but /I'm/ not ruined.
| 4 | 1 | |
1655509222 | 1655512831 | t3_vet9mb | t5_2to41 | -1 | picklefries27: TIFU by not going #2 before seeing my boyfriend
[removed]
Officialmilehigh: Why do you women get embarrassed buy farts and shit? Its literally seems childish to never do this shit in front of guys. Itold my wife when we first got together if she tries to hid normal bodily functions from my then I don't want to be with her. Its like if your trying to hid what we all know our bodys do, then your probably cheating on them as well
TallChick66: Trying not to fart in front of someone means they must be cheating? Wtf
Officialmilehigh: I just said this cuz I knew it would stir the pot up im not serious haha its funny to see people reply on me being a dumb ass
TallChick66: I don't understand why people get pleasure from trolling but to each his own.
| 5 | -0.2 | |
1655512422 | 1655514402 | t3_veu9pk | t5_2to41 | 6 | Gamefail: TIFU by making my own game
I’ve spent a couple years making my own game. Doing artwork, designing the rules and gameplay, and spending money on manufacturing. I’ve gotten a store to believe in me. They told me it was ok for me to host learning events in their store. So I’ve been trying to do that but nobody ever shows up. I’m literally at a game store right now and I announced to people that I’d be teaching people how to play this game and nobody cares.
If this game doesn’t pick up any traction by next month, I’m probably just going to throw all of my copies away and give up. I’m getting tired of chasing dreams. Every time I try to pursue something above a minimum wage job it always fails.
People who actually have tried to learn my game always end up loving it and buying a copy, but most people don’t even want to give the game a try. I don’t expect everyone to love my game I just wish more people would at least be willing to spend 20-30 minutes to try it out.
I really don’t know what to do. Advertising on Reddit is pretty much impossible unless you pay for it and I definitely don’t have money for commercials and YouTube ads. I just wish something I invested in would finally work for once.
Tl;dr I made a game and nobody wants to play
pogiguy2020: So how long have you been TRYING to get it off the ground? I mean since you have had everything ready. Sometimes things take time and you cannot expect instant gratification.
If people who have tried it and have bought it eventually start telling friends it may take off. You have to give it time. Do you think Bill Gates went from the garage to being who he is today over night? NOPE it takes hard work and time.
Professional-Way8702: Well, Bill Gates exploited a whole lot of people to get to where he is today. Hopefully this guy doesn’t follow his footsteps
pogiguy2020: what ever it takes LOL once you are filthy rich the only one to worry about is the ultimate judge.
Professional-Way8702: Yeah, nah. Once you’re filthy rich you’ve got billions of people against you and “the ultimate judge” won’t do anything bc “the ultimate judge” does not exist.
pogiguy2020: Then if there is no Ultimate judge then nothing left to do but dominate. Bill Gates seems to be doing just fine.
Professional-Way8702: Ofc he does. That’s how it works.
| 7 | 0.857143 | |
1655511394 | 1655522650 | t3_vetybw | t5_2to41 | 5 | SwissStarburst: Tifu by teaching a kid a racial slur
OBLIGATORY: not today. Happened one year ago when I was watching three children. The youngest of which was three. He had two older siblings who usually did their own thing, and didn’t need much guidance.
Background: 3y/o was engaged in an egg dying activity in the yard while older kids were playing soccer. I was keeping an eye on the older two whilst preventing little brother from making a mess. The youngest points to the liquid we’re dying eggs in, sniffs it, then asks about it. I tell him it’s vinegar. Kid repeats it, and it comes out sounding like a racial slur. He seems to like the word vinegar, and goes to tell the older kids we have [n-word] at the art table.. and they should come check it out. This is all before I can intervene, and tell the kid it’s not pronounced n-word… but rather Vi-Ne-Gar. Kid eventually stops saying n-word, and sits down until his parents get home. He remembers his new favorite word, and cheerfully tells his parents we have been playing with n-word all day. His parents seem to understand after I hastily explain I’m not a scummy racist (I’m white, have never said the n-word).. but maybe they should invest in speech therapy for their kid before he gets hatecrimed.
TL;DR - Taught a white kid his new favorite word: the n-word.
-VintageVagina-: Ummm, sounds like he knew the word already. He may have learned it from his parents at that age. SMH!
BarryBadgernath1: Now why on earth would you make that assumption .... children mispronounce almost everything they say at first .....
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655513657 | 1655529454 | t3_veui72 | t5_2to41 | 4 | ninetynineflakey: Why would you ask?
BacardiPirate: Hypothetical question
ninetynineflakey: Well I've already accepted it's gone, but if you can tell me what drinks are in the bag then I might be interested.
BacardiPirate: Well I'm taking it from dude so I looking inside. Dude's kinda big
ninetynineflakey: Don't know what that means but it doesn't answer my question. Think you might have gotten someone's else's bag.
BacardiPirate: Dude ain't whooping my ass for looking inside his new bag
ninetynineflakey: Then I don't really know what you're even trying to do here. 
BacardiPirate: Sorry
ninetynineflakey: No worries.
SacredSpirit123: I think they’re pretending that they’re the guy who stole from you.
ninetynineflakey: Yeah I came to the same conclusion eventually.
| 11 | 0.363636 | |
1655515795 | 1655516434 | t3_vevaav | t5_2to41 | 31 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #15! Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU talks!
The_Stormborn320: Can we comment here?
JC1812: Yes!
The_Stormborn320: Right on, thank you :)
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1655520335 | 1655521327 | t3_vewky8 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Interesting_Ad5467: TIFU By spending a year with fake friends.
I am a Male and let me give you some backstory before I start, I had a friend group of 4 people
AL who is the main fake friend of the story, AB who is AL's hype man, to other people who are irrelivent to the story. I met AL in 2021 we became good friends for about 3 months before we met AB.
AL, AB, and I would be friends until 2022. I started to notice how AL would act in front AB, (he'd act cool and tough around him.) but when we we're hanging out he'd be respectful and chill (kinda like code switching) When the three of us were hanging out he'd start talking shit to me, hit me then run away, then said I was a punk because he hit me then ran away.
Back in 2019 I was dating a girl and we broke up in 2020, in 2021 They sent me a text on instagram saying they wanted to be friends and told me how they had changed sex (He's a guy now), and when I was little I was Sexually Harassed by cousins boyfriend. I told AL all of this because I thought I could trust him.
Now back to the present, I was minding my own business when I got a text from a group chat all four of us are in, and it was AL and AB Talking shit about me for no reason we were arguing back and forth when AL took it too far he called me gay because I dated someone who became transgender, and said I was touched by an old man while AB was instigating the argument. At that point I ended up blocking him and 2 days later AL and AB started banging on my windows and running away. They both stopped after I opened a window and threatened to call the police.
Now this guy has my address, multiple rumors he can spread about me, and some gifts that I bought him and I left with nothing but a year wasted and fear that my school reputation could be ruined at any moment.
TL;DR: I told a fake friends very personal stuff and he used it against me.
Interesting_Ad5467: This is my first post sorry if its not good
RandoCalrissian11: It’s not good.
Interesting_Ad5467: well I'll try to do better next time edgelord
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1655520543 | 1655535219 | t3_vewmzz | t5_2to41 | 107 | colormeflabbergasted: TIFU by wearing a heart rate monitor while making out
I (20F) dated my ex for almost 4 years, and as I'm coming up on the anniversary of breaking up, I was reminded of this horrible story. It was a first love kind of romance that served us both well as high school sweethearts. Summer after graduation came around and I was slowly realizing that while I still cared for him a lot, I wasn't actually attracted to him anymore. But, like I said, this was a tragically slow realization because I had never been in any other relationships. Summertime shenanigans ensued and I liked spending my time with him, but in typical male fashion, he wanted to make out. Like all the time. And I had fun with it but never really understood the hype behind making out. One night, we're sitting on the couch watching a movie when we start kissing. He mentions that his heart was racing so I jokingly said to check his Apple Watch to see what his heart rate was and, sure enough, it was pretty high. So I take it off his wrist and put it on mine. We checked my resting rate which was around 60-70. Then he's kissing me, doing his best to be exciting, and after a minute we check it again. It had actually gone down. This prompted a conversation in which eventually he asks if I like kissing him and after some back and forth I have to admit that I'm not attracted to him. He left shortly thereafter and a few days later the break up was official. But hey! Since then I've been in a relationship where I found out WHY people like kissing :)
TL;DR an Apple Watch outs me for not getting excited about smacking my face against another face
dr_frosty_funk: Alternate title - My ex bf got cock blocked by an apple watch….
Walking_Bag_Of_Meat: Cock blocked by a clock. What a way to go.
dr_frosty_funk: Pretty sure someone can make a rhyme out of this
Ex got cock blocked by a clock, in his croc while the hood got shot up by a glock *pop pop pop*
Sewcah: pop smoke
| 5 | 21.4 | |
1655521690 | 1655681251 | t3_vewyos | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: tifu by looking through my husbands Reddit.
[deleted]
jammysammidge: I don’t entertain all of these “trendy” terms and he/him bollocks, so please excuse my ignorance. What is a pan sexual?
lilacpeaches: Pansexual essentially means that you’re attracted to anyone regardless of their gender (to be more specific, gender doesn’t factor into attraction — whereas for bisexuals, it does).
Conwaydawg: So does that extend only to people? Not judging just asking for clarification
lilacpeaches: Yeah, only people. Pansexuals are not attracted to animals or kitchenware.
Conwaydawg: Ok. I don’t know hope question didn’t offend
lilacpeaches: Don’t worry, it wasn’t offensive! I was just being a little lighthearted / making a joke.
| 7 | 4.428571 | |
1655522388 | 1655531093 | t3_vex5r2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking I could make a joke as to why I am a terrible parent to my daughter.
[removed]
SuperdudeFourFiveSix: This is, I have to assume, someone fucking around with one of those AI things. This reads like it's generated by a neural net. Can't keep any details straight, with ages and context shifting as the post goes on, the sentences are all structured correctly grammatically but the content of them betrays a lack of associated meaning with the words being said.
WeVe69: Yeah, that, and also, it's all fucked up.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655522742 | 1655528340 | t3_vex97g | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by only teaching my kids Ancient Latin
[deleted]
TiltedWombat: What a weird thing to lie about
shouldnothaveread: I'm guessing he's just read Snow Crash for the first time and was inspired to do some creative writing.
Maleficent-Scratch-6: What is snow crash?
wintermute916: It’s an excellent book written by Neal Stephenson. A little “on the nose” and Cyberpunk light compared to Gibson, but a fun read and gets heavily into ancient Sumerian.
Maleficent-Scratch-6: Ill have to look into that. Thank you
wintermute916: If you enjoy it check out Cryptonomicon by the same author. I re-read both of these every couple of years. Very entertaining books.
| 7 | 7 | |
1655518881 | 1655571258 | t3_vew5vk | t5_2to41 | 9 | TheGreatestNobody420: TIFU by not enabling my ICloud and leaving myself with the crushing guilt of my actions.
A while back I had willingly permanently deleted all of my photos off of my IPad to clear enough storage for some stupid game that needed an absurdly large amount of storage. What I had neglected to realize was that my IPad photos were connected to my IPhone photos and that all of my photos would be deleted off of there as well. panicked at the time but I soon learned that a reasonable amount of photos were saved because I had connected my new Amazon tablet to my IPhone. I was happy that I saved what I could and went on with my life. Sounds like a small problem right? Wrong.
Not too long ago, my Uncle died in quite a tragic way. I loved my Uncle dearly, so I wanted to look back at the photos that I had taken of him before his passing and possibly show my grandparents to remind them of better times. It was then that I realized that all of the photos that I had of him were deleted in previously mentioned the incident. I was devastated and sobbed for hours.
However, today I realized that they were probably saved to the cloud. So, I sent three of the most frustrating hours of my life trying to recover my Apple ID password so that I could finally see my Uncle’s face, not the bloody face I saw after the tragedy had taken place nor the cold face that I had seen at the funeral home, but my Uncle’s face that was alive and full of humor. And, finally, after everything was said and done, I went into my ICloud only to be presented with the crushing reality that I had turned off the photo saving properties of my ICloud.
I’m only glad that I hadn’t told my grandparents why I was trying to retrieve my password with such determination. I had gotten my hopes up for nothing and it’s like I’m relieving my Uncle’s death all over again. I don’t know how I’ll be able to live with the crushing guilt that I’ll never be able to show my grandparents the pictures that they so desperately crave of their beloved son because I wanted to download a trash fucking game that didn’t even work on that device. I have contemplated offing myself due to the guilt but I know it will devastate my grandparents, who have devoted their remaining years to raise me since my birth and who have just lost their son. I feel sick and stuck. I really, really fucked up.
TL;DR A while back, I deleted permanently all of my photos by accident, My beloved Uncle died a while later, I excitedly realized that photos of my Uncle were probably still on the cloud, I logged in only to realize that my stupidity left my efforts in vain, and I basically relived that tragedy of my Uncle’s death all over again.
Fit_Ad_7681: I'm so sorry that this happened. You can't get too upset at yourself though because you didn't know that would happen. Hopefully you have some other photos somewhere else.
Not to be insensitive to the situation, but what game was it?
TheGreatestNobody420: That’s the worst part… It was Genshin Impact.
| 3 | 3 | |
1655525861 | 1655652618 | t3_vey4h4 | t5_2to41 | 1,056 | jpg11: TIFU by being a horny mf and now my sister wants to bleach her eyes
Bonus points for happening a couple hours ago.
Woman hit me up on Instagram and later snapchat to talk. Things got a little hot and heavy and we started to sext a little. Hadn't really done anything like that but was kind of into it. Kept my face out of the pics because I'm hesitant but still really into it. It was kinda hot. Then the woman tries to blackmail me with the pics and threatens to send them to people I know on Instagram. At the time I think "no big deal right? My face isn't in any of the pics because I'm smart... right?" So I figure idgaf if this lady wants to send the pics go ahead, no one can confirm it's me. No face, no worries. Well she send the pics in a group chat with me in it and I send a "?" as a response, ask why I'm there and leave the group to casually exit and let it leave my mind. No worries anymore...
Or so I thought. My sister comes over to me an hour after that and goes "OP, some things you just can't unsee..." So I play dumb, and go "Huh? Oh are you referring to that time your bf sent me a dick pic by mistake?" (Happened recently lmfao so I thought it could be that). She goes "Umm not quite him, I saw stuff about you I NEVER wanted to see, and then it hit me. THE BATHROOM PICS. FUCK. SHE KNOWS. Even without my face in the pic she knows it was me. I get red in the face and tell her what happened. I was down bad man. Moral of the story, don't sext people you don't know. Horny or not, it's not worth the potential pain after. Good thing that blackmailer didn't add my crush to the group chat...
TL;DR: Sexted someone I met on IG, she tried to blackmail me by sending the pics to a group chat and now my sister has seen my genitals.
mathisha: Word of advice OP: Tell her you’re underage. So those pics become cp. Blackmail her for not calling the cops on her.
NagaoKagetora: I advise against this. Blackmail is a federal felony.
There's other recourse OP could take, however - look into his [state](https://www.findlaw.com/criminal/criminal-charges/revenge-porn-laws-by-state.html)/country's revenge porn laws, for example. Assuming the group chat wasn't end-to-end encrypted (which, I don't think group chats CAN be end-to-end encrypted), the evidence is definitely there for revenge porn prosecution - which can, potentially, end with restitution for the victim, especially if blackmail and following through was involved.
Consulting a lawyer in a case like this is a good idea. First-time consultations tend to be free, just double check and make sure first. And if the lawyer thinks a criminal case is viable, it's on the state to carry it out after reporting it with the evidence he has, so he wouldn't have to pay anything. Wouldn't guarantee restitution like a civil case would, but there's a decent chance. Even if he's not in a state with revenge porn laws, blackmail is 100% a felony, so the FBI might want to hear about it.
Of course, moving on is legit too. But OP has options, doesn't need to blackmail anyone himself.
EmeraldLevinbolt: What laws would one break if they claimed they were underage but weren't??
NagaoKagetora: It's more the blackmail itself - as stated, that's a federal felony.
Edit: The rest I talked about in this post was wrong about after asking someone, so I edited it out, but blackmail is blackmail and that's a bad idea to suggest.
EmeraldLevinbolt: How the hell is it "blackmail" to lie to someone in order to prevent them from *committing a crime*??
NagaoKagetora: That's not what mathisha suggested. They suggested OP ***blackmail his blackmailer***, which is ridiculously unwise. Lying in commission of it is still blackmail.
EmeraldLevinbolt: Yeah, the context was that they would lie to the blackmailer in order to prevent them from being blackmailed. They weren't recommending trying to get something out of it. Their wording was poor, but they weren't suggesting a crime.
And I very much doubt any prosecutor is going to pursue charges on someone who is being victimized in this manner.
NagaoKagetora: My mistake then. That isn't at all what I understood it as, it sounded like they were actually suggesting blackmail.
You're probably right, but it's always better to be safe than sorry, especially when there are alternative, legal avenues for justice.
mathisha: I wasn’t suggesting OP to blackmail that woman. Mentioning you’re underage and threatening to call the authorities would most likely stop the initial blackmail.
| 10 | 105.6 | |
1655528630 | 1655620445 | t3_veyud9 | t5_2to41 | 32 | whatiamidoinghere9: TIFU By Leading A Friend On Than Humiliating Him In Public
This happened about 7-8 hours ago, and this is the first time I've picked up my phone since it happened because of all the texts I've been getting. I feel awful, so here it is.
Just as terrible as the title sounds. I, (Male17) and my friend R, (Male16). Quick summery of our friendship. Met in a class two years ago, close friends ever since, came out to me as gay a little over a year ago. Me being shitty started almost immediately after we met, according to him and my other friends. I have always seen our relationship as platonic, and so I thought it was a joke when he made flirty comments, so I made them back. I didn't realize that the joke was one sided on my part, and he was actually being kind of serious about it. The big fuck up happened at one of those weirdly loud and crowded high school graduation things, as I am graduating this year, naturally, him being my friend, I bought R a ticket and brought him with me. (Going over this, it was a bad idea to phrase it like we were going on a date when I asked R to come, I'm an idiot). R started to act weird during it. A little off topic, but might explain some things, R is a big fan of those cheesy movies on Netflix where the main character makes a hug scene of declaring love, he would always choose them for our movie nights (Wow I am blind, jeez), and that is kind of how it went. I was talking with some friends, when he came up to me, and started to talk about how our relationship had grown, and stuff like that. While he was doing it a crowd had started to form. My brain had completely shut off at this point, and I was kind of just staring at him while a crowd formed. When I finally decided to form thought, I preformed the dumbest thing I have ever done. I cant remember exactly WHAT I said, but it was something along the lines of "EW, what no.", may have laughed. Yep, I suck. I also said it very loudly, and everybody heard. A lot of people laughed, and R looked devastated. Most laughed, while our friends started to yell at me. It took me about 10 minutes to get through the crowd and outside, where I just went home. I started to get texts and calls from our friends, calling me a homophobe and a jerk. And I deserve it, I did not react well, and humiliated R, who according to some of my classmates who have finally decided to speak with me, have not responded to anybody, and left shortly after I did. I really fucked this up.
Should clarify this if not obvious already, I am straight
TL;DR: I have been leading a friend on for as long as we have known each other, because I'm a blind idiot. At a graduation celebration, he approached me and confessed very loudly to me. I responded badly and hurt his feelings.
Edit: I woke up after a very bad sleep, I have read all of your suggestions, and I can no stress enough how much they help me, I still feel awful. I have been trying to text him a bit, directly, through his sister, and a bit through the few friends who aren't still blowing up my phone for the incident, I will update if I get in touch with him, further advice is welcome as I still have no idea what to say when or if I see him again.
suagtforutube: Suck his dick to make up for it.
whatiamidoinghere9: I'm sorry...?
suagtforutube: A joke, I know you are straight.
Felt sorry for R. And you really didn't know he was gay beforehand?
whatiamidoinghere9: I was aware, he told me about a year after we met
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1655526007 | 1655586952 | t3_vey5sk | t5_2to41 | 4 | NoSkillJustHaxing: tifu by fighting someone and ruining my relationship a little
so today in P.E class we were playing basketball. This guy (we'll call him M) decided to throw a ball at my nuts and laugh. I had enough of his shit (fyi, hes bodyshamed my best friend, he came during the middle of the year and expects a girlfriend, hes treating girls like objects and thinks hes always in the center of attention. M expected a girlfriend without even talking to girls he just goes up to them and asks) and decided to tell him to meet me after school for a fight (hes like a couple inches taller than me).
i arrive at the place we agreed on and we threw down our bags and fought, couple punches to the stomach (doesn't hurt anymore) but i managed to hit his head, knocking his glasses down and hitting his chin. he didn't manage to hit my head at all but he had the strength. we decided to leave it there.
back home, i decided to post on snapchat my fight with M and I (my fault) bragged a little of my victory. My girlfriend wasn't really happy though, she thought i should of settled it with words. she said i was bragging that i hurt M. She is the most wonderful person in the world, i don't want to lose her. she is half filipino and canadian, she was always so kind to me, her personality is also amazing (i know this is hard to believe because of the "personality" trend on tiktok"). People don't really like being wrong so my girlfriend was really stubborn.
I just hope i can make things right with her
TL;DR: i decided to focus on myself more (we are still together)
this is my first post on reddit (sorry for the vent
Forsaken_Things: How do we know you really won the fight 🤨
NoSkillJustHaxing: he gave up and surrendered lol
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1655530583 | 1655594615 | t3_vezcf6 | t5_2to41 | 368 | Revolutionaryear17: TIFU by asking my wife if her sex dream turned her on
My wife is very vanilla in bed. But recently she has started doing more things and wanting to try new things.
Today, she woke up angry. I thought there was something wrong so I asked her what happened. She said she had a weird dream. In the dream she was masturbating while watching me have sex with someone else. I asked her who it was and she said it was her best friend.
I thought this was part of her new adventurous side so I said - "sounds hot, where you turned on?" She got extremely angry and asked me if I wanted to have sex with her best friend. She has stopped talking and is still walking around stomping her feet.
TL:DR wife had a sex dream where she was watching me have sex with her friend. I asked her if she was turned on. Now she isn't talking to me.
Naive_Exercise_5148: I *think*, maybe she understood you to say having sex with her best friend sounded hot to you? Probably forgetting the part about her masturbating.
Maybe clear that up and she’ll be ok? 🤷🏻♀️
Lymantria24: Yeah, it's exactly how my insecure ass would see it. "My husband just said he wants to fuck my best friend and find her hot"
essprods: Almost every husband wants to fuck hot friends. The best ones don't. But the fantasy is definitely there and everybody that says otherwise don't believe in human reproductive science
Lymantria24: Nah, either you are just a jerk or you've only met jerks. Sorry about that
JCPRuckus: Not the person you replied to... and, bro, I'm *at least interested* in fucking every average looking or better female of appropriate age I'm not related to, much less the actually hot ones. Now you shouldn't *actually do it* if you're in a relationship, but if you don't *want to,* then you've got an abnormally low sex drive.
ThinkThankThonk: "Interested in fucking" is way different than "find attractive and would have sex with in some hypothetical"
If you really think we (guys) all think this way, you need to do some reflecting
JCPRuckus: >"Interested in fucking" is way different than "find attractive and would have sex with in some hypothetical"
No, it's not. If I wouldn't actually be willing to have sex with you, then by definition I'm "not interested in fucking" you.
>If you really think we (guys) all think this way, you need to do some reflecting
Learn to read. I absolutely left room for you to have an abnormally low sex drive.
I didn't say *all* men think the same. I said the vast majority either think like I do, or are even less discriminating.
We all tend to assume we're "normal". But go actually look up some studies on attraction. Most men would gladly sex most women given the chance. If you wouldn't then you are outside of the norm. And that's okay. But you not wanting to admit that you aren't the norm doesn't make it any less true.
ThinkThankThonk: >No, it's not. If I wouldn't actually be willing to have sex with you, then by definition I'm "not interested in fucking" you.
This convo is about guys in relationships - if I'm in a relationship, I'm not "willing" to have sex with anyone else outside the relationship, even if I'm attracted to that person and *would* have sex with them in some hypothetical. It has nothing to do with sex drive.
If you don't think that plenty of guys make the same distinction then you're wildly myopic about the entire subject.
JCPRuckus: >if I'm in a relationship, I'm not "willing" to have sex with anyone else outside the relationship, even if I'm attracted to that person and would have sex with them in some hypothetical.
Read before you reply. That was the whole premise of my original response...
>> Not the person you replied to... and, bro, I'm *at least interested* in fucking every average looking or better female of appropriate age I'm not related to, much less the actually hot ones. Now you shouldn't *actually do it* if you're in a relationship, but if you don't *want to,* then you've got an abnormally low sex drive.
Just because you don't do it doesn't mean that you don't *want* to do it. It just means that you don't want to fuck up your relationship more than you want to fuck someone else. But if simply don't want to fuck other women, then you have an unnaturally low libido.
You do understand the difference between thought and action, right?
ThinkThankThonk: >Just because you don't do it doesn't mean that you don't want to do it.
Do you just not believe me when I say "yes, it actually does mean that"?
That's what I'm trying to get at with both of your original posts, you guys are saying "want" and "Interested" and "willing" and that it's a matter of a desire for a relationship overpowering the desire to bang these strangers.
But it's not, the active desire goes away. These words all mean specific things and I'm saying it all switches off for some guys, unrelated to sex drive.
I'm not "interested" in having sex with someone I find attractive just because I *would* be "interested" if I was single.
JCPRuckus: >But it's not, the active desire goes away. These words all mean specific things and I'm saying it all switches off for some guys, unrelated to sex drive.
So your sex drive turning off in relation to other women isn't related to your sex drive?... C'mon, man.
And even if we accept that it doesn't change the accuracy of the actual point that I was making. IF THAT HAPPENS TO YOU THEN YOU ARE NOT IN THE MAJORITY OF MEN. That, by definition, means that you aren't normal. And being normal doesn't make you a "jerk".
Not being an *outlier* who's sexual desire for other women turns off when they get into a relationship doesn't make you a jerk (as was claimed in the original comment I replied to). It makes you a normal healthy man. With a normal healthy level of sexual desire for most women. That's not a failure of character. It's how your sexual desire is *supposed to* work.
ThinkThankThonk: Look, I believe that your sexual desire works that way. I'm saying that's not how every guy's does, and both can be normal. But yours isn't the default that's "supposed" to be the case.
What I do think is that applying your version to strict monogamy, while it may not make you an active jerk, certainly brings the potential for jerk behavior.
And if you think you're a monogamous personality type given all this, you may want to reevaluate.
JCPRuckus: >Look, I believe that your sexual desire works that way. I'm saying that's not how every guy's does, and both can be normal.
The largest group is by definition the norm. I'm quite confident that the group who's sexual attraction to other women doesn't turn off is by far the larger group. I'm using "normal" as a value neutral term. It's okay that you aren't normal. You don't have to deny that fact like it means you're a pariah.
>What I do think is that applying your version to strict monogamy, while it may not make you an active jerk, certainly brings the potential for jerk behavior.
Well, the person I was replying to (Which I don't think is you) said it actually makes you a jerk. So turns out that you agreed with my point, that it doesn't automatically make you a jerk to still have sexual desire for women you aren't in a relationship with when you're in a relationship.
>And if you think you're a monogamous personality type given all this, you may want to reevaluate.
I most definitely am not, and never claimed to be.
| 14 | 26.285714 | |
1655531806 | 1656940002 | t3_vezn4t | t5_2to41 | 4,610 | state_of_alaska: TIFU by misunderstanding my wife's intensions.
I found out how badly I fucked up two days ago.
My wife recently went out of town to visit some of her old stomping grounds and visit some old friends. When she got home things seemed normal. Hanging out, drinking beer and talking a little about her trip.
We've been having issues with our sex life, as in there hasn't been one for a couple of years, so it isn't something recent. I thought it might have been a low libido on her side because there wasn't much sex when we first got married, and other issues like age and too much drink. I haven't been happy about this situation but I still had a little hope for us. Hope that something might spark somewhere and kickstart some intimacy, because when the planets did align and we did make love it was beautiful.
I recently got a new pair of headphones. I play guitar and do some amateur recordings in apple's garageband on my mac. Recently I have been learning about mixing and mastering my recordings. One of the things I learned was to get a nice pair of headphones made for this purpose. I found out my new headset for mixing lets most of the outside noise passthrough, unlike my noise cancelling headphones that I usually use; I guess that's to keep the headphones from blowing out your ear drums from the broader range of frequencies.
My wife sometimes spends her evenings on the phone talking with friends and family. I usually don't pay much attention and I will put on my headphones to block most of the noise while I do random stuff on the internet or watch streaming videos and TV shows when she does this.
Two evenings ago she's talking on the phone. I can hear her with my new headphones on. She starts telling a story about this guy she's having sex with on her trip... brain goes, record scratch, WTF? I walk into the living room where she's starting to get into the details of this story and I say "I can hear you." She quickly makes an excuse to her friend why she has to get off the phone.
We both have had a couple of beers at this point, not drunk but a good buzzing going on. Accusations fly, words are exchanged, divorce is probably used the most by me. She blames her infidelity all on me because of a conversation we had a couple of years ago.
My wife moved to my town before we got married many years ago. It's not a very big town, but not tiny either, population of about 35,000 people. She's made a couple of friends, but not as many as she is used to having where she's from, and the few good friends she did make have moved away.
The fuck up is my misunderstanding of the intentions she had behind this conversation we had a couple of years ago. One night we're hanging out drinking beer and chatting. She says something like she would like to have more relationships besides me. I think, good, you should, and I want you to have more friends. So I say something like "yeah you should be doing that." Her intentions were to start having **sexual** relationships with other people, well, because the lack of our sex life.
I have been on reddit long enough to know how tricky open relationships can be. Both parties have to be on board with a definite set of boundaries and rules. Everything, and I mean everything has to be made clear from the start in these situations. I didn't think her intentions were to start having sex with other people when we had this conversation. I made it clear before we got married that open relationships are not something I'm into. It's something I definitely would not have agreed too if I knew that's what she meant.
Near the end of our argument she says she's sorry she hurt me, but I can see she feels no remorse, because in her mind I gave her the green light to have sex with other men besides me, unintentionally. I've barely spoken to her in two days. I haven't processed the situation enough to know how to go forth.
The worst part of this is, I'm not sure if she was intentionally vague by not stating she wanted to have sex with other people instead of the interpretable "relationships" as making more friends which is what I thought she meant. We're an older couple and got married near our forties so there is a lot more background and history between us, of which the biggest part of this is we've been living like roommates for a couple of years, which now makes me think I should have known better.
TL;DR wife says she wants to have more relationships besides me, I interpret that as making more friends and I agree. Her intentions were to fuck other people.
blackbb601: She knew. That’s why she kept it from you.
Doz2w: Yeah, if OP "really" have her the green light he would have been able to catch on to the misunderstanding in those two years, because she should have nothing to hide. She was deliberately keeping it from OP because she knew that the agreement was a misunderstanding.
Throwaway_inSC_79: Exactly. Intensively vague. She wants other *relationships* but there's also no further discussion for years, until she got caught.
"I want to have other relationships."
"Yeah thats a good idea. You should make some more friends."
"Just so we're clear, I mean I want to date other men."
ForQ2: Misspelled "fuck".
state_of_alaska: Exactly, TL;DR was fuck other men.
ahhanoyoudidnt: and so this has been going on for years with many people
crickey how special do you feel?
do what needs to be done - leave her to be used by others
| 7 | 658.571429 | |
1655538805 | 1655549924 | t3_vf19qx | t5_2to41 | 31 | throwaway3747-8472: Tifu by tripping my little sister
I know by the title it sounds bad but hear me out. I (F16) have a little sister (5) who i have a classic sibling relationship with. Fighting at one moment, at peace the next. Well, for the past 10 months, she's been a complete demon spawn. Every time i have a conversation with my mom about something, she will always try to get in between it by making noise or trying to talk to my mom. Even when my mom tells her to stop, she doesn't listen and continues doing it. But the moment i step in and try to do something, my mom yells at me, saying that "i'm not the parent" and "you should mind your business and let me parent her"...bs. This has led my sister to not listen to me whatsoever. This past week, her behavior has been amplified by 10. It's like every 2 seconds this child is getting into some kind of trouble. I mean, constant yelling, smacking things, hitting people. It's crazy. I haven't been able to isolate myself from the chaos. My anxiety has been at an all time high and i haven't had my meds. So, as i was enjoying a bowl of soup my sister comes running by (even tho we tell her not to run due to past injuries) and i instinctively stick my foot out and trip her. I feel the immediate guilt. I felt like i blacked out almost. This was followed by my sister crying cause she hit her knee on the floor. As i'm typing this, i still feel the guilt as if i was still in the moment. My mom asked what happened and all i could say was "she tripped on my foot". I'm not wrong but i'm also not right.
TL:DR: I let my intrusive thoughts win and all it left me with is regret
Aggravating_Art_4809: There’s a bit here. You’re 16 and she’s 5. I have a similar age gap with my kids. (11 and 1 currently) and while they fight like siblings (1 ALWAYS starts it) my oldest understands that he’s very little and is good at setting boundaries with him.
Your mum CLEARLY needs to make more time for just you and not allow your sister to get in the way of that constantly. Mum has a big role to play in this too.
She’s right though, you’re not the parent. HOWEVER if your mum puts parental duties on you (baby sitting and general care etc) then you get to cease that role if she won’t allow you to have a voice when the child acts up. She can’t have it both ways. (I’m making assumptions here but it needs to be said) if you’re expected to baby sit then the child needs to respect what you say.
If that’s not put on you then she’s 100% correct. Let her be a parent.
Don’t trip up your sister. She’s acting like an ass I get that, let her. Ignore her. It’s not your problem. If mum gets mad that you didn’t stop her from doing these things then your response is “you said to not act like a parent so I didn’t” again… she can’t have it both ways.
I imagine that the kid must go to bed earlier than you so after bed time is a good time for hanging with your Ma but she also needs to give you alone day time and time to talk. It can be hard juggling a big kid and a little kid but it’s SO vital.
Teen girls need their mum.
I get what you did there, don’t do it again. Don’t eat yourself alive for it either and certainly don’t kiss ass to make up for it as younger sisters will make your life HELL for it. (I’m a big sister and a parent 😂)
Just have a little more control next time.
throwaway3747-8472: Yea, i guess i'm just not used to the "big sister" things since she was adopted. I was the youngest sibling for a while and had 2 brothers with a similar age gap to me and my sister so i was a bit more used to the toughness of people. But now i'm at the age of slowing becoming independent, i still need the mother-daughter time. Unfortunately, my mom isn't easy to work with. I try to spend time with her but i ends up with me being lectured or yelled at. It sucks having parents who you can't have a conversation with without bumping heads.
suagtforutube: What? You are definitely responsible for parenting her, teaching her, loving her, showing pathways, influencing her even if not consciously of it, You are doing it.
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1655537516 | 1655557391 | t3_vf0z7m | t5_2to41 | 16 | 09Yublover: TIFU by microwaving foil
OK so this one probably isn't nearly as bad as some of the other posts on here but I thought it fit. So earlier today (technically yesterday since it's like 1 AM right now) I had gotten del taco for dinner. I got one of their big combo burritos that comes in a foil instead of their others that come wrapped in paper. I didn't finish all of it, so I just wrapped it up and put it in the fridge.
Fast forward to about 10 minutes ago, I'm scrolling through reddit and I get the midnight munchies. So my dumbass goes to get the burrito from the fridge and puts it right in my microwave. Immediately stuff was smoking and burning, but luckily it was only for like 3 seconds tops until I realized and opened the microwave, so it still works (thank god, can't afford to buy a new microwave).
TL;DR I forgot to take the foil off when I microwaved a burrito
edit: spelling
mrgreyeyes: Thor's burrito
Fit_Ad_7681: I wonder if this burrito would be worthy to hold mjölnir.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1655539718 | 1655540574 | t3_vf1hgo | t5_2to41 | 20 | Julia7656: TIFU by sleeping.
This actually happened yesterday but I'm still shaken up by the whole thing so here's what happened. I (20f) am a college student and I live 100miles away from my hometown, my mother (50f) is a bit of a control freak but only when she remembers it. I am currently in the middle of my final exams before summer break so naturally I sit my butt off and study, even at night (fyi I have a habit of not sleeping during the night and spend that time studying, drawing or playing video games, my family is aware of it) as I was saying yesterday was one of these days, after my study session I said goodnight to my boyfriend and fell asleep at around 1pm only to wake up at 9 to see 30 missed calls from mom, dad, aunt, grandma, brother, step mother, pretty much any relative I'm in contact with. I freaked out thinking someone was dead so my first instinct was to call my grandma to figure out what happened, I was then informed that my mom made up a story about me clubbing and potentially getting drugged, kidnapped etc you get the point, everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I'm completely out of touch when it's exam period. Back to the main topic, my mom does nothing other than watch TV shows all day she's pretty much the type of person who has nothing going on in her life and she often makes a big deal out of nothing, this time she decided I had to pay for her lack of entertainment, she basically proclaimed me dead, made everyone in the family worry including my dad who got in the car and started to drive at 8:30pm, nearly gave my poor granny a heart attack and on top of that she contacted my British friend, my ex and best friend, none of them took it seriously cause they know what I'm like but even so everyone started yelling at me for having such bad habits and now I'm starting to see it, my mom overexaggerated but she will never change so yeah, I'll be texting my mom every time I go to sleep from now on.
It might seem like I'm blaming my mom, which I do but all this could've simply been prevented if I slept like a normal human being.
Sorry for the massive paragraph I had to give some context and in addition sorry if my English is bad, I'm European.
TL;DR I went to sleep during the day and made my entire family worry
Roudan: Does your mother use Reddit? I'm waiting for her to post in TIFU.
ribd4yourpleasure: I think that will be in iamafuckingpsycho
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1655555409 | 1655740144 | t3_vf2cdc | t5_2to41 | 75 | Neeoda: That’s actually pretty funny.
Short-Influence7030: What exactly is funny about that? I’m not saying it’s “offensive”, but it’s just not funny. There’s no joke, no punchline. It’s just cringy more than anything. How would anyone even respond to that beyond saying “my condolences”, and quickly moving on? So again, where is the hilarious joke?
Neeoda: It’s funny from my perspective as a twin. I’m laughing at the joke, not at the dead person. You do realize there never was a dead triplet? Humor is subjective, however, so I’m totally a-okay with it that you don’t find it funny.
Short-Influence7030: I’m a twin too, and obviously there never was a triplet, that’s completely obvious and not the point. I already made it clear I’m not “offended”, I don’t have a problem with the joke, it’s just not *funny*. There is literally nothing humorous about it. Are you even able to explain why you think it’s funny? And if it’s some sort of obscure inside humor for the two twins answering the question, then it’s not really a joke. A joke, or humor in general is supposed to make people laugh. If you’re saying something that’s only funny to you, it’s not really funny.
Neeoda: oPs comment got almost 300 upvotes so I wouldn’t say I’m the only one finding it funny. It would be weird if all those up voters thought, “heck yeah, dead triplets.” So I want to believe they upvoted OP because they too found it funny. I personally find it funny because growing up we got tons of repetitive and annoying questions. We’re identical so our go to answer was, No, I’m his father or cousin, etc. I would have (and might still) use the dead triplet answer for people I don’t like. Ergo, funny.
Nobody_37_8: That could be another thing the HiveMind unintentionally did :)
Neeoda: I’m gonna need some explaining.
Short-Influence7030: People upvote things because most people just follow the crowd. Idiotic and blatantly wrong comments get massively upvoted all the time. Crowd approval isn’t an indication of anything at all.
Neeoda: So you think me finding this funny is idiotic? Thanks, dude. I appreciate your candor. I suggest though you broaden your definition of humor. A fart can be funny. Anything can be funny. It doesn’t have to adhere to some rule.
Short-Influence7030: I think you have reading comprehension issues. I just said that idiotic things get upvoted all the time, therefore using upvotes as a gauge of anything at all is pointless. So your argument that this joke is funny because it got a lot of upvotes doesn’t really fly. I didn’t say this particular joke is idiotic, although I could argue that it is. But my comment never actually stated that.
Neeoda: Wow. I think you might have reading comprehension issues, too. Also you might have issues in the areas of human empathy. But I really hope you get the help and love you need and really do wish you well.
Short-Influence7030: What do you think I didn’t understand in your comment? Be specific. And what does empathy have to do with anything we are discussing? Was that some kind of ill conceived attempt to imply that I’m “bad”? Your response reads like you had nothing to say so you just vomited out whatever came to mind first.
Neeoda: You’re not getting it at all and you are being purposely obtuse. Since humor is subjective and I said I find the joke funny and you are disagreeing with me, I think the burden of proof is ok you, not on me. Unfortunately you can’t convince someone that something is not funny so you simply won’t win this argument no matter how high brow and educated you pretend to be.
Short-Influence7030: I understood you perfectly fine. By your logic however anything can be funny, literally *any statement* at all. Humor is subjective but it still has to have elements of humor. You can’t just claim that literally anything is humor. It makes the word meaningless.
Neeoda: I did not say that anything can be funny. We are once again running into the problem where you don’t understand what I’m trying to say and I’m beginning to seriously doubt your intelligence. We are not talking about anything. We are talking about one comment that YOU for no reason at all decided to shit on even though it doesn’t concern you at all.
Short-Influence7030: It’s clear the lack of intelligence is on your side, and now you are projecting. I didn’t say that you said that anything can be funny. I said your *logic* can be used to argue that anything could be funny, because it seems you have literally no criteria for what makes something funny other than someone, somewhere, finding it funny. So if one person in the world thinks it’s funny to say something, then that automatically makes it funny, just because they think it is?
Neeoda: I did not say this. You are obviously not very bright. You are trying to tell me that I should or shouldn’t find something funny and I don’t agree. I suggest you do some wide reading to broaden your general understanding of human interaction. You are projecting your sense of humor onto me. That’s sad.
Edit: I won with facts and logic.
| 17 | 4.411765 | |
1655543263 | 1655569265 | t3_vf2ad8 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by making Thanksgiving dinner
[removed]
sld126: You both sound like idiots.
iTalk2Pineapples: Isn't that the point of this sub? "Someome on TIFU FU" I appreciate the engagement of the topic but people fucking up is kinda the theme
sld126: This isn’t a fuck up.
This is willful, long term, destructive idiocy.
iTalk2Pineapples: She said she'd do the dishes....
sld126: You both sound like idiots…
iTalk2Pineapples: That's entirely how this sub goes. People sound like idiots...its the entire point of it lol
sld126: You keep telling yourself that.
iTalk2Pineapples: I cummed in a coconut, but it was maggots. Is that all you're here for? Cuz I had maggots on my dick too..the first part is obvious satire but I did have husks of maggots and years of slime on my dick. It was AWFUL. The spillage made FLOOR IS LAVA look like my legs. You know that slime they spill? That was my legs.
| 9 | 2.222222 | |
1655550610 | 1655551588 | t3_vf3zip | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally biting and squeezing an unknown woman's ass
[deleted]
Rainbow62993: What in the Alabama did I just read?
Efficient_Fun6489: Hahaha I was just a kid. After that day, I never did it again.
hi_ho_silvers: Kids do ridiculous stuff. The first time you did that to your mothersister, she should have put a quick fucking stop to it so it didn’t become a thing.
| 4 | 2 | |
1655553847 | 1655554580 | t3_vf4tiq | t5_2to41 | 6 | God_damn__sam: TIFU by getting h1gh and making popcorn
So my girlfriend (18 f) and I (18 m - In the country we live in we aren't minors anymore we can smoke and drink hard alc just so you know) decided to smoke something before going to bed. We went outside to look at the storm clouds flyig towards us with thunder and lightning, best show ever since we have been passig a blunt to each other the whole time.
Come to a point where we were getting hungry so we went inside. My girlfriend wanted some popcorn really badly so i told her to go up and I'd do it myself. (My girlfriend usually doesn't smoke w33d - Me neither because it doesn't affect me much usually- so I knew she was nervous. I wanted her to be chill and have a nice time.) So I put the popcorn in the microwave and start... well something felt off about the timer i set in but i didn't really think at the moment... While it was heating up I went outside to smoke a cigarette with my sister and her friend.
Then i went up to my girlfriend to see how she was doing. She was very happy and watched her favorite show on my tv. I go down thinking the popcorn must be ready. And holy sh1t it was. Smoke in the whole kitchen i looked inside the microwave and saw nothing but black smoke.
I open the microwave and run outside with the burning popcorn pack and threw it on the ground next to where my sister was sitting. She and her friend were laughing since they already knew that i was under the influence of you know.
I opened all the windows and ran up to wake my parents only to see them already awake, asking me what the hell i set on fire. The smell was so bad. My mom helped me to open all the wondows and doors in the house so the smoke could get out and not trigger the fire alarm.
They didn't notice that i was high since i could claim my eyes being red because of all the smoke in the house. It did burn as hell in my eyes.
Now our microwave smells bad as hell and we tried everything to get rid of the smell. The thing is my dad bought this microwave just a month ago and it was expensive af. Guess who has to pay the next one :/
TL;DR so let's sum this up.
I got high, made popcorn at 850W for 5 minutes, there is a black cluster of burnt popcorn on our front porch, I will have to pay for a new microwave. My girlfriend had the time of her life.
Moral of the story don't do dr#gs or at least don't make or cook anything under the influence of alc or dr#gs. Stay safe and all that stuff
Jabba-666-: Why do you need to buy a new microwave? You just burnt some shit? Set it outside for a little bit with the door open
God_damn__sam: We tried but every time we turn it on it starts to smell bad again :(
Jabba-666-: Okay, next best suggestion is rent a small Ozone generator, run that in the microwave. It kills all odour. I just used one in my car last week to clean out the AC vents
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1655556125 | 1655557819 | t3_vf5fux | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by not throwing my wine bottles away or cleaning my kitchen
[deleted]
AudiGuy3point0: Bruh
Evan0196: I second this.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1655557753 | 1655562963 | t3_vf5x0r | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my gfs neck
[removed]
xkissmykittyx: 11 years ago I accidentally broke my husband's neck by jumping on him in a swimming pool - I fractured his C1 vertebrae. We joke I was attempting to kill him for the life insurance policy.
wala_kwarta: Well, were you?
xkissmykittyx: A lady never tells.
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1655559188 | 1655644772 | t3_vf6cgm | t5_2to41 | 2,988 | crooky50-dc: tifu by not checking what the rancid smell was coming from around my water tank
Reading the story of the dead cat found behind the fridge reminded me of my own fuck up. Little bit of side info. I live on and run a farm in South Wales and we have our own spring fed water supply to the house and sheds.
That's where the fuck up occurred. Daily I drive up to our mountain grazing to check on our sheep and cattle, to do this I go past our water storage tanks. Through the course of the week I started to notice a smell of a dead animal, initially I ignored it as I live in the countryside and it's not uncommon to find the occasional carcass.
On the third day the smell was getting stronger so I had a nose around the water tanks and ground surrounding it,I found a dead crow on the ground so I moved it into some scrub and carried on with my day assuming I had found the source of the smell.
Back home the wife and kids were noticing a bit of a bitter taste to our water. I did seem a bit off but it's very mineral rich and we were having unusually hot weather so the spring had slowed down, I attributed the bitter taste to the fact the ground water was more sedimented than usual.
Days go by but the stench around my tanks began getting stronger to the point it was overwhelming. I thought fuck me that crow is rancid but it is hot so perhaps that's why it smells so bad. All the while our water was starting to become very bitter and not good to drink even after boiling it.
On the 8th day the water in the house was smelling awful aswell. The same rancid smell that I thought the decomposed crow smelled of. So I go up to the water tanks just to make sure all is well. I lift off the heavy iron lids only to be hit across the face with the most unimaginable stench, it was hot wafts of rotting corpse. It knocked me back off my feet. I can't explain how bad this smell was,my eyes were streaming and I gagged so much I pulled a stomach muscle,I knew instantly this was more than a dead crow. Fly's were swarming around like it was the apocalypse ,I tried to hold my breath and shine a torch in the tank to see what was in there. Some how and I still to this day don't know how, as the covers were still in place,a sheep had managed to fall into the water tank and drown.
It had been in there decomposing for well over a week all that was left was maggot covered bones and entrails floating around in our water supply, which myself and family had been happily drinking for the last week. The next day was spent suited up in the 30 degree heat spooning out the jellied remains of a dead sheep from my iron water tank covered in maggots and corpse sludge,gagging and sweating. It had to be bucketed out by hand. It was with out a doubt the worst thing I have ever smelled. The heat didn't help. It took days to clean up and disinfect and even longer for the wife to forgive me for letting her drink rotting sheep flesh flavoured water.
TL;DR Tifu by ignoring the fact a there was a rotting animal corpse in my drinking water supply.
G_Rubes: That’s just about the worst thing I’ve ever read. 🤢🤮
omega12596: I'd like to introduce you to [*The Swamps of Degobah*](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/e51wyh/the_infamous_swamps_of_dagobah_story/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
G_Rubes: I don’t even have words for that.
omega12596: Makes this coulda-been-a-gyro slurry seem kinda pale in comparison, right?
Lol, also welcome to *classic Reddit tales everyone should know*.
Autumnsprings: Doritos and jolly ranchers.
LeakyFlameGaming: Don't forget the broken arms and the coconut
Autumnsprings: And the cum box.
| 8 | 373.5 | |
1655563323 | 1655565029 | t3_vf7j1k | t5_2to41 | 3 | Meanabix: Bruh don't be a douche...
MouseByDayRatByNight: ill be whatever i want its 2022
MikeTakrelyt: Haha didn't know non-binary persons can be funny
MouseByDayRatByNight: wow what a bigot. whats funny to me and you might be offensive to these others. expand your mind my little brother
MikeTakrelyt: Fully open minded here. That's why I can make jokes about it without being a bad person at all.
If they can make jokes of themselves why can't I?
| 5 | 0.6 | |
1655563181 | 1655563671 | t3_vf7lvs | t5_2to41 | 9 | Badgirlparty: TIFU by thinking women wanted cute guys
[removed]
My_Cat_Louie: Wow, got some serious incel vibes here
moonlightblossom9: yep, their whole account is filled with stuff like this
| 3 | 3 | |
1655563705 | 1655581281 | t3_vf7rzl | t5_2to41 | 10 | Not_Here_394: TIFU by leaving my girlfriend while she was having a severe panic attack and she was begging me to stay with her
Last Saturday, I (30M) was visiting my girlfriend Hana (34F) at her apartment. Her air conditioner was broken, and Hana eventually found it unbearably hot and humid, so she took off her shirt and the only things covering her body were her jeans and bra. It didn’t matter though because she was in her own apartment with her own boyfriend.
​
Hana was the victim of a certain violent crime back in 2017. She’s always been tough and headstrong, but she still suffers from panic attacks and flashbacks from time to time.
​
I don’t know what triggered it, but Hana had a panic attack before I left. Eventually she became hysterical and couldn’t stand on her feet; she was on her knees, clutching her chest, hyperventilating and crying.
​
Normally I would not have been thinking sexual thoughts at all at the sight of my girlfriend crying. But as I said, Hana was clothed in nothing but her bra and jeans while she was having her panic attack. I got down on the floor with her and hugged her under the guise of wanting to comfort her (and I did want to comfort her) but also so that I could feel up her shirtless body. It sounds so creepy, and I’m partially ashamed of it, but I’m allowed to think that my girlfriend is cute, right? She didn’t mind the hug, and she hugged me back as tightly as she could and she wouldn't let me go for who-knows-how-long. Eventually though it got annoying and gross because she was covering me with her sweat and tears, and I got tired of the sound of her crying and hyperventilating, so I pushed her off and decided it was time to head home (it was already past midnight by that time). Hana started crying even louder and begged me not to leave her, but I apologized and told her it was getting kind of late. It was really awkward as I she kept trying to grab onto me as I was exiting her apartment and I had to fight her off. I don’t know what got into her that night.
​
The next morning I called Hana to see how she was doing, and THANKFULLY she was completely back to her cheerful, tomboyish self. She sheepishly apologized for freaking out so badly the night before. I suggested to her that the panic attack wouldn’t have happened if she kept her shirt on and dressed more modestly, and she agreed. I’ve visited her twice again over the past week and she's perfectly back to normal.
​
TL;DR I (30M) left my girlfriend Hana (34F) while she was having a severe panic attack and she was begging me to stay with her. Fortunately, she recovered completely by the next day, and these days she's back to her normal self.
fadedgeez420: At least u can admit that u were in the wrong. A lot of ppl are giving u shit at the moment. Dont get me wrong, you were the asshole. But I imagine you know this already. So be grateful for her, never pull this shit again and move on.
Effective-Stand-2782: People are giving shit because he is a fucking asshole. He sexualized her in a vulnerable situation, he then got tired because of the crying and she was sweaty, he left her alone because it was past midnight and the day after he blamed the panic attack on her for not dressing modestly???? And you are giving him some credit?
He is the shittiest boyfriend she can have and you want to give him credit because he knows he is the wrong?
fadedgeez420: Yea completely agree with everything you say. Let's not get misunderstood here. This guy is fucked up and a complete asshole. His gf should leave him asap and I hope she does for her own good.
But if that doesnt happen for whatever reason, all we can hope for is that he never pulls this shit again. U disagree with that? I feel that's sensible
Effective-Stand-2782: Fair enough, I did not see your way, but it makes sense.
fadedgeez420: I could've been clearer tbf
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1655564366 | 1655564668 | t3_vf7zol | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying about my age & falling for someone 9 years older than me.
[deleted]
Radiant-Invite-5755: Don’t do it
hibiscusflobackup: thank you for your time
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1655565468 | 1655704198 | t3_vf8d2v | t5_2to41 | 27 | falafelove69: TIFU by putting my old cat through surgery
A few days ago my 15 year old cat had elective surgery on his intestines, and I so so badly regret the decision now.
A couple of months ago on ultrasound they found a small section of thickened small bowel, and follow up ultrasound showed that it had gotten slightly worse and surgery was recommended to remove the sick segment of bowel and to biopsy the segment.
My cat was feeling fine, energetic, good appetite, no symptoms. I was very hesitant about doing this surgery, especially since my cat already underwent surgery a while ago for a tumor that turned out to be benign. But surgery was recommended to get ahead of the problem while the cat is still feeling well. I’m not a doctor and I want what’s best for my cat so I said yes, let’s do it. Yet to the last moment of handing my cat over for surgery something was tugging at my heart that this isn’t a good idea.
My heart was right, surgery was the wrong call. My cat is in so much pain,even on the pain meds, and he is so stressed out, it breaks my heart to see him like this. He is not doing well, he’s not eating, and I’m afraid that even if there are no major complications that he will simply deteriorate and die.
I hurt him instead of helping him. If the biopsy result says cancer at least he would have been happy and feeling well for a while, and then we’d give him a good death. But I let them butcher him.
I will never forgive myself for this. My poor baby boy, I’m so sorry.
TL;DR put my old cat through elective surgery and now he’s suffering unnecessarily
cw30755: Please don’t be too hard on yourself. You followed the advice of a professional. Surgery always carries a risk of complications, and maybe this is just post surgical pain.
Try giving him some of his favorite soft food, or maybe some tuna or chicken broth.
falafelove69: I tried different things, he won’t eat more than a bite or two of of anything and then gags a bit. I think something is wrong with his throat after the tube…
Anxious-Custard6208: Try the [tiki cat stix](https://www.chewy.com/tiki-cat-stix-duck-in-creamy-gravy/dp/212960?utm_source=google-product&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12791145814&utm_content=Tiki%20Cat&utm_term=&gbraid=0AAAAADmQ2V2U5aS-HMRtVtrW-6-f3QulV&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwO22jKm7-AIVgT6tBh2SCwtDEAQYASABEgJzqfD_BwE)
My cat got really sick with really bad food poisoning from a bad batch of cat food.
She passed out after throwing up for the 6th time that day and I rushed her to the ER.
After that they gave her fluids and cleared her to come home but she wouldn’t eat at all even though I got her a ton of new foods to try. After almost 24 hours she still had not eaten.
I didn’t trust her old brand any more and she wanted nothing to do with it. But everything I put in front of her just grossed her out. I even bought organic chicken, steamed it and cut it up and she wanted nothing to do with it.
After almost 24 hours, I had to call the vet and asked to get an ointment to put on her ear to induce an appetite. It took about 4 hours to kick in and for her to feel interested in food again, luckily her appetite came back slowly.
But even then all the cat foods I got still grossed her out.
I got so desperate I bought these tiki cat brand gravy stix that are just really meant for a treat. I got one in every flavor to try and thankfully she liked each one which was amazing because I was so scared she wasn’t going to eat.
The first day she only ate half a tube at a time, but i was glad she was eating something at least. She had gotten so sick it was really crucial she eat to build up her strength again. It took about 5 days before she started eating “solid” food again (she eats wet food with nuggets usually)
After this whole ordeal she lost 3 pounds. Which for a cat is a lot of weight to lose. But she is much better now and after a few weeks she has finally gained back the weight she lost.
you might try those for him. If he has a sore throat it will be much easier to swallow and they have a sufficient amount of calories that given the situation it will get you by till his appetite returns fully.
Pretty sure these cat gravy sticks saved my cats life. I am not even being dramatic lol
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1655561860 | 1655672272 | t3_vf76ly | t5_2to41 | 92 | Oztravels: TIFU By resurrecting my dead friend and scaring the bejezus out of everyone.
Obligatory this just happened. A good friend of mine (let’s call him Mr G) died several months ago and his death was sudden and tragic. He lived on a remote island so wasn’t always in touch with lots of his family and friends because of this and because of Covid. His business partner is also a friend and I had done some work for them managing their marketing and sometimes social media. So my friend (Let’s call her Ms J) contacted me to see if I could help her get access to some of the social media accounts and get them transferred to her admin account. So without thinking I jumped into my database of access Mr Gs passwords etc and logge onto his Facebook account and started setting up the transfer. I forgot to log out and we are in different time zones so I thought very little of it. Next thing I get a message from my friend Ms J saying everyone is contacting her and want to know what the F is happening and why Mr G was online. Needless to say this was disturbing to all his friends and family that knew he had passed and confused those who didn’t that tried to message him. I apologised profusely.
TLDR: Logged on to my dead friends Facebook account and scared and upset everyone who wondered why he was online.
IggyBall: A dude I knew died unexpectedly about ten years ago (when fb was a lot more popular). I wasn’t super close with him but as a cathartic goodbye, j sent a message to him on Facebook basically saying how I’d miss him and some memories etc. Kind of just felt like a weird journal entry to me. Imagine my surprise when the message was read! I found out his mom had figured out his password and was logging into his account.
Shared_Muse: That's kind of wrong for her to do
| 3 | 30.666667 | |
1655567104 | 1655615777 | t3_vf8wcl | t5_2to41 | 5 | confesshell: TIFU by not having self control
[removed]
CharityOk9235: You seem like a danger to young girls, are you sure you told your therapist?
confesshell: I did and they kinda dismissed what I said. They told me that I shouldn’t have thoughts about that stuff or act on it but they didn’t give me any ways to deal with my thoughts. They didn’t seem like they wanted to even discuss it with me.
CharityOk9235: Are you sure your therapist isn’t Teddy Ruxpin?
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1655567679 | 1655582830 | t3_vf930s | t5_2to41 | 18 | JoeTag92: TIFU by breaking my collar bone causing everything to spiral out of control
Ok so first of the obligatory this did not happen today but about 3 weeks ago, and also apologies for the strange formatting as I’m on my phone.
Ok so where to begin, about 3 weeks ago after work I pop to see one of my friends and he tells me he needs to go to the shop and as it’s a nice day suggests I borrow a push bike off him instead of driving. Of course I agree to this, so off we head and all is fine until the return journey. On the way back from the shop whilst looking over my right shoulder to merge from an ending cycle lane back into traffic I collide with my left shoulder into a post at about 25mph. Initially adrenaline kicks in so I get up and pick the bike up at which point I feel a grinding in my collar bone and realise something is badly wrong, and on inspection it is clearly broken. A trip to A&E later and I’m just annoyed with myself and laughing at my own stupidity, not yet realising the chain of events that would follow.
So the next morning I wake up and contact work to inform them of what has happened (I have recently started work machining components for a race team in the UK and was poached from the manufacturer I used to work, you could say this was my dream job.) after speaking with my boss who is exceptionally angry that I am injured and unable to lift any significant weight which my job regularly requires he informs me that he will have to speak to HR and not so politely remind me that I am still on my probation period.
A couple of days later the phone call I was dreading comes from work and they tell me as they are unable to offer me any work arounds they are going to let me go from my role, fucking brilliant.
Two weeks later and still very much unemployed I head to the hospital for an X-ray and to see my consultant.. at least he tells me all is fine and I’m healing as expected. Great I think, some much needed good news.
Two days later or yesterday I get absolutely no sleep gain a fever and a bad headache overnight. I decide to take a covid test just to be safe and guess what? Positive. Where is the only place I have been in the last week? The hospital. Fucking marvellous. So now I lie here in bed with a giant headache a fever and a sling jobless and majorly pissed off, unable to visit anybody to take my mind off of things and unable to look for work as I can’t attend interviews.
TL;DR - broke my collar bone, lost my job and then caught covid whilst at the hospital. Needless to say I have had better months. Oh and to rub it in I’m 30 on Wednesday, looks like I’ll be starting that decade from a literal fresh start.
3rd-AgeDye: Surely you've had your fill with bad luck for the next 20 years right? Right?
JoeTag92: I mean here’s hoping, just hoping the rona doesn’t land me in hospital
3rd-AgeDye: New studies says Corona age your brain by 20 years or so. Technically you just went from 30-50 years buddy.
JoeTag92: Thanks for that :/ should a change my username to 72?
3rd-AgeDye: No I think adding numbers would fit your bad luck more
JoeTag92: Well 92 was the year I was born… so taking 20 away makes more sense no?
| 7 | 2.571429 | |
1655568250 | 1655658862 | t3_vf99y9 | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to my girlfriend for 7 months
[deleted]
EmEmAndEye: My belief is that no one has the right to tell/demand another person what they can or cannot do sexually with themselves. Obvious caveats for seriously illegal or harmful acts. Her past with other people is her problem, not yours. That promise/compromise was unwise (foolish?) and now you both know this.
incertae-sedis: Watching porn is quite literally watching other people though, so it's not just you doing something with yourself. The entire idea of an exclusive relationship is based on mutually committing to self imposed boundaries (for example, not sleeping with other people). These were hers and she let him know at the very beginning of the relationship.
EmEmAndEye: The porn people are not in the room, so he’s literally by himself. He’s not involved in the sex act whatsoever. This is neither physical cheating nor romantic cheating. If anyone demands a guy to abstain from porn, then that is a huge red flag about her being highly insecure and/or controlling. She can ask, sure, but only with the adult understanding that it may be impossible despite his best efforts and that is not a character flaw of his. It’s normal human behavior.
incertae-sedis: If it's impossible to quit something despite your best efforts and despite negative consequences (for example: doing damage to your relationship), that's what we'd call an addiction or at least a lack of self control.
EmEmAndEye: A healthy sex drive cannot be termed an addiction.
amaninthesandhand: you are aware you can masturbate without porn, right? Just like people have been doing for thousands of years before
EmEmAndEye: Clearly, but not everyone can.
amaninthesandhand: You should be able to stimulate yourself without it, if you can't, it sounds like you're dependant on it meaning it is interfering with your life.
I won't preach anything to you but I hope you look up all the negatives there are to porn.
EmEmAndEye: Many people have trouble self stimulating, for various reasons related to physical and/ or mental reasons that are normal and most of those have zero to do with disease or trauma. So, to insist that everyone should be able to do so is ridiculous. Humans have been crafting erotic art since forever.
| 10 | 4.9 | |
1655571935 | 1655577607 | t3_vfaj1x | t5_2to41 | 14 | spcartman: TIFU by making my American friend trudge his way back to home country
I’m Chinese and work for a Chinese airline company. My city is about 650 kilometers away from Shanghai. M (an American expat and my friend) would fly from here to Shanghai and get a connecting flight to LAX.
A few days earlier when he decided to book a plane ticket, I suggested that he take a high-speed train to Shanghai. Every year around this time, the flights are prone to delay and cancellation due to heavy rainstorms there. It would have given him a lot of trouble if he'd missed the connection, as the US-bound route now only operates on a weekly basis because of the Covid policies. Anyways, he insisted on flying to Shanghai; he thought a 6-hour layover was enough even factoring in delays.
Today he arrived at the airport and called me to inquire about the departure time. The flight had been delayed for one hour. I replied that no need to rush to check in his baggage, because once checked in, it would take a long time to retrieve. I told him to hold on and I immediately consulted a flight dispatcher, who said that despite the strict air control, the top brass of my company still decided to give priority to this flight. I then checked the radar map: my city was cloudless, the weather conditions above the route were okay, but the situation in Shanghai was complicated. Though cloud-free, the city was horseshoed with thick clouds, with lightning symbols around it.
I sent a screenshot of the map to M and explained: “The weather conditions are temporarily good. The leaders are now making an effort. The probability of the plane taking off before 5 PM is high, but you know, weather is capricious.”
Ten minutes later, he called me back and said he was on the way to the railway station. He didn't want to miss his flight to LAX, after all. He had a flight from LAX to FL which was nonrefundable, and he didn’t want to waste an one week's leave on waiting.
Nevertheless, taking a train instead created much trouble for him. My city is 3 hours away from Shanghai by high-speed rail, but only 40 minutes by air, not to mention that he traveled with a 2-year old child, heavy baggage, and an additional taxi trip from the train station to the airport. I consoled him: “No need to feel torn. Even if the plane takes off, there’s still a possibility of diverting.”
Things turned out to be like a drama. The flight took off and landed on time, but his train was stuck at a place near the station because of a tornado. He finally managed to get to the airport through a torrential downpour. Good thing he made the flight at the last minute; otherwise, I would have drowned myself in the vast abyss of remorse.
Even though he described it as “a more interesting trip”, I still feel very guilty. In English, there’s a saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” My good intention has definitely gone awry this time. It would have saved him so much hassle had he not consulted me.
TL:DR -- My friend was flying back to the US. I offered him some "professional" advice that ended up causing him so much hassle. Making him trudge his way back home.
athensugadawg: My mantra, "You are where you are."
There is also a pertinent saying here, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." You did your very best, that's all you can do. Don't worry and live your life
Reddit-username_here:
>There is also a pertinent saying here, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Wait, you didn't see that in the story already?
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1655571784 | 1656725565 | t3_vfah5i | t5_2to41 | 30 | Halk_Buster: TIFU by helping my dad with his new iPad.
I got my dad a new iPad and he isn't exactly good with technology, so as I was setting it up and helping him, I came across pictures and videos(apparently he has iCloud sync on and these along others came from his phone), these pictures and videos we're a fucking sex tape with someone, his face isnt in it so idk for sure but I saw about around 10 pics and some videos of his dick entering a woman which I know it isn't my mother, I highly doubt it's porn because these are obviously not porn because they were in the same place, not only that they're were in an order that makes it unlikely to be porn, plus the vids were about 30 seconds each, then it hit me he traveled for a business trip a week ago and the location of these pictures and videos are pretty accurate to the time he was at that trip, non of these files had his face in it, saw a womans mouth for a quick look and I can't be sure because I panicked and closed it pretty quickly when I saw them, but it didn't look like porn, and all my mind is saying is he ordered fucking a hooker or he's having an affair and I fucking can't look at the man rn, I don't fucking know what to do now and regret even helping him, I can't unsee this, I don't know if I should tell my mom, men are fucking pigs, even though I'm a man ,I hate men, never helping anyone with technology, learned my lesson...
TL;DR : Helped my dad set up his new iPad and saw a probable sex tape with him and another woman while he's in his business trip and I can't unsee it.
fatevilbuddah: Have you considered that it was ok by your mom? There's plenty of kinks out there that not only allow married partners to date, but specifically to have sex with other people, and then show photos, videos, hell, be on the phone the whole time. You can't say what the circumstances are or what their most private relationships are, don't judge. I'm sure someone might find something you like distasteful. Don't yuck someone's yum. You said you never saw his face, how do you know he wasn't the one holding the camera?
Rosey991: How about he just brings it up
fatevilbuddah: That's just embarrassing as shit. I would rather think my parents were ok with it rather than dig into their thing, and if it was a divorce thing, it may have been just an isolated thing with a few too many drinks and too few thoughts. No point in breaking up what would otherwise be a happy relationship. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but there have been plenty of times where people didn't do the right thing and they have no idea why, and it happens to both sexes. If it was a one time thing, your dad may have been living with the shame of his betrayal forever now.
Rosey991: It’s not a happy relationship when it’s build on lies. If it was my dad one time thing he wouldn’t be my dad no more
fatevilbuddah: Only a sith deals in absolutes. The world is gray.
Rosey991: Then I’m one. Don’t justify cheating or say a one time thing shouldn’t be told. It says a lot about you
fatevilbuddah: With all the different kinks there are out there...who's to say it's cheating? There's plenty of guys who send their wives on dates and get off to the stories about the way the wife got used. It's called hot wife and it's actually pretty popular in some communities. No legit cheat is good, but people make mistakes. I've also known couples who worked it out with a 1 for 1 as long as that was it. To each their own. They're your parents, but I wouldn't dig into their sex life because I don't want to know, some things are private, and something someone did 10 years ago in a different time, place, and headspace,, in my opinion, is not a good reason to kill an otherwise healthy relationship. It obviously didn't get in the way either way.
Rosey991: And if it’s not? Lol
fatevilbuddah: Thats between them either way. I know how I would answer for myself, but its probably different than your answer. My dad's gone and was long divorced so it wouldn't matter. Either way, my business is my business, and theirs, including their marriage, or lack thereof is definitely not my problem or place to get into.
| 10 | 3 | |
1655572724 | 1655593468 | t3_vfaspd | t5_2to41 | 160 | Broken_our_love: TIFU by "finding" the wrong cat
This literally happened 5 minutes ago.
English isn't my first language and sorry for formatting.
This morning we got a text from out neighbors that their cat had escaped. Ofcourse we try to help, my partner looked around this morning and we kept on the lookout.
The neighbors where not at home when this happened, we where on the couch and outside we see some people holding a cat that looks a ton like the neighbors cat but we also know there's another one that looks like it around.
Not taking risk we tell the people that we'll take the cat in. We put ours in the bedroom and the cat was MAD ofcourse. There are multiple people with scratches. He jumps up on our curtain and windowpane making a mess everywhere but hey! We got him.
The neighbors get called and their parents come, one of em says it's him, the other says no. Right when we wanna video call em they stand at our door and sadly it isn't him.
Our curtain is broken, our house an even bigger mess and there's still no cat.
I hope he gets found soon.
TL;DR: We took the wrong cat in and now we got a broken curtain and a mess. Also slight wounds
Update:
About an hour after posting we got a text that the cat was spotted. We tried so hard to get it but it freaking Houdinid it's way from us. We where so defeated when we lost him again.
About 20 minutes past 12 tonight we got a text that they found him and he's safe at home.
saltyandhelpfuluser: Me and my family buried the wrong cat once. Found a black cat right at the end of the driveway on the road, dead. I was the only one not convinced it was our cat. Cat came back like 4 days later. I had almost given up completely by then.
Broken_our_love: I once lost my cat years ago at new years. She was gone for 3 whole months! They found her and she lived to be 20.
saltyandhelpfuluser: Dang, did she look healthy after her adventure?
Broken_our_love: She was found by a sweet couple, she was already 13 by then. Asside from some weightloss and her fur being unmaintained she was fine. I loved that cat so much! She was my compainion from birth till 19.
saltyandhelpfuluser: Good to hear it was a long, loved, life she led.
| 6 | 26.666667 | |
1655574650 | 1655585764 | t3_vfbg52 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: Tifu by Mowing the lawn at 6am
[deleted]
alpskier: Just bake them cookies and apologize—say your clock was not reset to time zone or power blip caused you to think it was after 7. Cost you nothing to apologize and small effort to bake cookies or a cake as well.
1Sluggo: Apologizing with lies?
| 3 | 2 | |
1655574472 | 1655620761 | t3_vfbdy6 | t5_2to41 | 1,658 | woop_choop: TIFU By Not Listening to Gwen Stefani
Before I get into my story, I'm referring to not listening to the chorus of Hollaback Girl. You'll know why in a second lol
So I had my first baby in early January. At abt 2 months postpartum, I started noticing black specks in my poop. Dr. Google informed me that black specks that look like coffee grounds (like mine did) are caused by upper GI bleeding and I needed to see a doctor ASAP. I scheduled with my PCP, and was seen in early March, 2 weeks or so after the specks appeared. They did a rectal exam and tested the glove for blood afterwards, which turned out positive. So off I went to a gastroenterologist to determine the cause of bleeding.
I ended up getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. The prep was AWFUL. I endured a liquid diet while continuing to breastfeed, shit my brains out while having to care for my colicky baby all night, then almost had to go to the ER for dehydration and miss the procedure the morning of. Unfortunately, after all of that, the results came back normal. Next I was scheduled to swallow a pill camera so they could see into my small intestine. It had nearly the same prep, but wasn't quite as awful this time thankfully. I got my results last week.... They also came back normal. At this point, it had been 3-4 months of the specks with no visible cause. I'd spent nearly $16,000 on procedures because of my high deductible healthcare plan that offered basically no coverage. My perplexed doctor prescribed two medications for me to take 5 times a day and told me to make another appointment in 2 months if the specks continued.
Well. My baby is now just under 6 months old and we started solid foods this week. We started with bananas. Today when I changed his diaper, I noticed some black specks. At first I was worried he was having GI bleeding as a reaction to the bananas, but read up that it's not uncommon for partially undigested bananas to cause black specks in a baby's diaper. And then it all clicked.... I'm about 99% sure my specks are fucking. undigested. bananas.
It all makes sense now. I didn't eat bananas during my pregnancy because of reflux, but I started eating them again about 2 months postpartum... exactly when the specks started. I eat them most days because they're one of the cheapest fruits, hence why the specks haven't gone away. The original rectal exam must have come back positive because I had a bleeding hemmerhoid from the birth 2 months prior. And it would explain why now they've scoped my entire digestive tract and found 0 evidence of bleeding.
Soooo I've spent $16,000 out of pocket to eat bananas 🤦🏼♀️ I heard Hollaback Girl today and laughed my ass off when realizing that the lyrics say, word for word, "This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S." Should've played that song earlier 😂
TL;DR I spent $16,000 trying to figure out why I was having GI bleeding. Found out it was undigested bananas
NotTodayNSA5117: This shit is solid
pm_whatmakes_uhappy: It's bananas
Siguchi: B. A. N. A. N. A. S!
speculatrix: I know how to spell bananas, I don't know when to stop.
| 5 | 331.6 | |
1655577006 | 1655593584 | t3_vfc8ud | t5_2to41 | 9 | Jpupthecrocheter: TIFU by reading or posting a fanfic
Not as big of a fuck up as most of these but I haven't stopped thinking about this all day and my hands are still shaking.
So I read a fanfic by traineeghostcop. I just got an AO3 account and decided to make a fic inspired by it (and someone else but they aren't part of the fuck up) I did, and checked my account after posting. I got a comment by THE PERSON WHO WROTE THE ORIGINAL.
Turns out my 3am brain forgot to credit them. Luckily they were super nice about it. They just said that I should credit people in the future and that even though I have writing talent (haha suree) and that they'd like it if I credited them. So I freaked tf out.
I replied and went to the original work to apologize again AND copied and pasted my reply in case they didn't see it. I then went back to my own work and credited them in the summary and tags. Also, I changed the part that they said made it the most obvious I'd read theirs.
Now I'm writing this and waiting for them to reply. It isn't a grand fuck up like most of these but it still sucks because I really liked their fic and they left a nice reply to my comment on theirs.
My inspo was 'maybe this time' by traineeghostcop and 'A Demon's Pain' by Devils\_Milkshake' If you want to see the comment in all its glory go to Ls\_Marshmallow\_Tower (I changed it to HinokamiKaguraGirl) but please, PLEASE don't look at the works, they suck. Update: She read my response, I'm no longer living with the cringe. She just said "ok ty for fixing it. good luck on AO3!"
​
TL;DR: I posted a fanfic and forgot to credit which got me a response from the op of my inspo
CharieRarie: Just breathe! It’s okay, you didn’t do it to be rude or nasty. The original writer was obviously really kind about it, and you made things right ASAP. Don’t beat yourself up 😊
Jpupthecrocheter: yeah, although I kind of feel like she was being passive agressive in one part "I based this off of something by (insert tumblr user name) and credited them in the beginning. It'S a ShAmE i HaD tO fInD oUt By OtHeR uSeRs ShOwInG cOnCeRn."
CharieRarie: I understand where you are coming from, but I’d prefer to give benefit of the doubt :)
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1655579167 | 1655580344 | t3_vfcyy6 | t5_2to41 | 18 | Womennotnice: TIFU being the nice guy
[removed]
b0wT1e: This post has nothing nice in it...
Alucard12203: My incel senses are tingling.
b0wT1e: I hope he one day openly/willingly gives behavior therapy a chance.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1655580832 | 1655598066 | t3_vfdijm | t5_2to41 | 297 | tenhosede: TIFU by eating diet candy on a cross country drive
This happened nearly 3 years ago, but I've really just arrived at a place in my life I can bring myself to talk about it.
I (34 at the time, m) had a little extra weight at one time, I was at about 220 pounds. Not too bad but more than I wanted to weigh at the time, so I went on a low carb diet. It really worked for me, I had lost around 40 pounds and I was really happy with that. My wife (then 36f) was super supportive and helped me discover and cook meals that fit my diet. She helped my switch to diet soda, diet I've cream (oh God why?), and helped me cut sugar from my diet altogether. This is important to the story.
So the road trip in question was just my wife and I heading to Idaho from Las Vegas, a 9 hour drive. I normally drive the whole way, and we talk or listen to audio books or whatever and generally just enjoy the drive. I love to drive, and if I'm driving long distances I like to snack. Normally I love potato chips, licorice, candy, etc. but those didn't really fit with my diet so my wife bought me low carb snacks, and for candy she bought me Werther's candies and York peppermint patties both with no sugar. They are a very close approximation to the real thing, they taste good, definitely better than nothing. When I'm driving and I'm snacking I don't really worry about portions or the number of candies that I'm eating or anything like that I'm just focused on the road. Before I knew it I had eaten about half the bag of Werther's and half the bag of peppermint patties. This was around St George, 2 hours into the drive. I decided to slow down a little bit on the candies and switch to some other snacks.
Around 5 hours info the drive while passing Salt Lake City, I started to experience a slight uneasiness in my stomach. A tiny bit of pressure and a little bit of a cramp. I thought nothing of it maybe I'm just hungry or whatever so we stopped and we ate and then got back on the road. I might add here that I'm a nervous pooper and I have trouble pooping in public bathrooms. So I thought maybe I would have to go to the bathroom at some point but I was thought because we're only 4 hours away from our destination and I can hold it. By Brigham City, another 2 hours north of Salt lake my stomach was in full revolt. Cramps, gas, bloating, nausea, you name it you got it. At this point I'm still thinking that I can make it to our destination without stopping because we have enough gas to get there.
How wrong I was. We passed into Idaho through the Malad pass. By this time it was dark, and my wife had decided to take a nap. I was pretty much doubled over barely looking over the top of the steering wheel and trying to stifle groans of pain. It felt like something was trying to tear its way out of me. I was pretty sure that if I didn't stop I was going to die. That's an exaggeration but I was going to shit my pants if I didn't make it to the bathroom, and soon. The next gas station was at least 30 miles so I stepped on the gas and soon we were going 90 plus miles an hour just trying to get to the gas station before an inevitable explosion. About 10 minutes before we got to the exit with the next gas station my wife had woken up and noticed that I was in all sorts of pain, and she was very concerned about what was going to happen. She kept asking me if I was okay and I was certainly not okay but it's not like I was going to tell my wife that I was going to shit my pants right then and there.
After what seemed like an eternity, we got off at the exit we pulled into this gas station, and I left the truck running with my wife in it and just sprinted into the store. The path too the bathroom in this particular store goes right by the cashier counter, so I come barreling in and as I sprinted past the cashier I see the wide-eyed look on their face like a deer in the headlights. Without a word I shuffled as fast as I could and got into the bathroom.
I bashed my way into the stall and as I am in the action of sitting an eruption of liquid shit interspersed with large pockets of gas blows out of me into the toilet. Just imagine a two-stroke motorcycle for sound. For a good 15 minutes I was on that toilet writhing in agony and spilling out the most horrific combination of flatulence and shit that I've ever experienced. Slowly the cramping and the gas subsided and I just sat exhausted, sweating, and half naked on this toilet trying to determine what I had done to deserve this specific level of hell.
I came out of the bathroom to see my wife and the cashier both with very curious and very sympathetic looks on their faces. I didn't need that at this point in my life but at least they weren't laughing. They probably should have been laughing. My wife asks me if I'm okay. How am I supposed to respond to that? I feel violated, dirty, sweaty, tired, embarrassed, I'm not even sure what other feelings there might have been. But physically I guess I was okay.
The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. However I learned something after we got to our destination. I was about to indulge in another Werther's candy when something on the packaging caught my eye. It was at the back down at the bottom below the ingredients in an area where I never would have looked but happened to catch when I picked up the package. The package says "excessive consumption may cause gas and bloating." Out of curiosity I checked the York peppermint Patty one and it says "excessive consumption may cause diarrhea."
I gave myself explosive diarrhea. I will never eat sugar free candy ever again. If I'm going on a road trip and I'm on a diet, the diet goes out the window for as long as I am in the car.
TL; DR I gave myself a case of explosive diarrhea with diet candies while driving cross country and unable to stop to use the bathroom
Empire2k5: Diet candy??
tenhosede: Yeah it's sugar free, so they use something like sorbitol or another sugar alcohol. Small quantities of those are fine, large quantities make you question life choices
Empire2k5: Haha I know, I'm heard plenty of horror stories about sugar free candies. I was just joking, cause I've never heard someone refer sugar free candy as "diet".
tenhosede: That's fair, it fit my diet because there were no digestible carbs, so it was diet candy for me. Maybe if they labeled it diet more people would buy it and experience the horrors I've lived through
| 5 | 59.4 | |
1655582378 | 1655779920 | t3_vfe0wx | t5_2to41 | 430 | Gods-Nutbucket: TIFU by not taking the hint that a girl I work with wasn’t interested
[removed]
Supafuzzed: Why is the move always flake until they “get the hint” or ghost? Why are people never up front anymore?
Psheep121: Did you not see the recent story of the teenager who was killed by her coworker AT WORK when she rejected him? There's plenty of reasons.
thatbstrdmike: Did you hear about the millions of people who were polite and genuine to one another yesterday? No, of course not, because that's the norm. You only get the exceptions reported in the news. That's kinda the whole point of the news.
Kalrhin: I do not think I will be involved in a car accident. Yet, I still use a seatbelt at all times.
I do not think my coworker will go crazy. Yet,….
Gods-Nutbucket: I’d love to tell you in this case, I’m not psychotic, but I wouldn’t take the word of stranger saying that either. Like I said, I was confused for so long that a no would have been better than that feeling. I definitely understand the risk though. It’s why I haven’t confronted or pushed her, just distanced myself.
Kalrhin: I am not saying that she behaved perfectly (can’t judge from only one PoV)…just saying that I understand why she was careful. There is a balance between protecting yourself and hurting others (what seems happened this time).
WhyJeSuisHere: She wasn't doing it to protect herself thought, she knew him and was talking to the guy a lot. Like OP has said, she herself initiated most of the interactions. It's just pure immaturity and selfishness that made her act this way.
Kalrhin: I cannot talk for others (and even less in a case where we heard only one PoV)…but have you ever had someone you knew behave in an unexpected fashion?
There are tons of stories of people doing crazy things, then TV interviews coworkers, spouses, friends etc that all say “I never imagined this. The perpetrator was a very kind day, but one day without notice they (insert horrible thing they did)”.
WhyJeSuisHere: I'm sorry, but you dont initiate interactions with someone you are scared is going to murder you and you ABSOLUTELY don't flake on them like that, that is just going to make the person angry and even more likely to murder you. The fact that she did 3 times in a row shows that she feels safe with OP and doesn't fear any retaliations.
Kalrhin: It is possible that for whatever reason after initiating 3 times and being besties for a long period she suddenly gets odd vibes and wants to cut contact. If that is the case, neither OP, you, or I should judge her for that nor say "it is not possible that now you change your mind" or anything similar.
Once that has been said, I would venture that this is not the case. As in, this girl is not afraid for her life. She is simply afraid of what will happen when she rejects OP. Not afraid in terms of violence but... she can lose something and there is nothing to be gained.
Just to name a few things:
\-OP does not want to talk to her anymore (she loses a friend)
\-They are still friends but whatever nice thing she does is misinterpreted (and has to continuously reject him).
\-OP badmouthes about her to other coworkers (making workplace more uncomfortable)
And to be clear, none of the above are related to her being afraid for her life. She simply enjoys OPs company but does not want to take it further. Any change in the status quo is bad for her.
For the third time I want to emphasize that I do not know the girl or the reasons why this girl behaved like she did (I am just speculating from similar experiences).
It is very hard to say anything after hearing from only one side. I also agree that judging from OP's description what she did is a bit rude....but for all we know, she could have sent many more signals that OP did not notice.
WhyJeSuisHere: I don't think you got the comment.Instead of being honest and straightforward you are going to lie and play with the guy and that is supposed to protect you ? That will just make the dude more angry and confused, it creates a worst situation, not a better one.
Kalrhin: ~~Why is he “supposed to protect her”? And from what?~~
Edit: sorry, when I first read your response I completely misinterpreted. Apologies.
I do not see what I misunderstood about your previous comment. Previous one is "She could not have been scared \[of there being physical harm\] because they knew each other very well" and my response is "harm is not the worry. She is afraid of losing something: be it a friendship, a coworker that she has a good relationship, etc".
To clarify: I do not think she is playing with him for protection nor she is enjoying lying to him. I would say she is doing whatever she can to avoid giving him a straight "NO, I do not want to go out with you".
Is this the best way to do so? I agree that it is a bit odd, but we do not have teh full picture. For all we know, she could have been sending OP tons and tons of signals that were misunderstood/intentionally ignored.
WhyJeSuisHere: What are you saying ?
Kalrhin: Apologies. When I first read your previous response I misunderstood it. I edited my response. If you feel I misinterpreted your response please clarify it
WhyJeSuisHere: My main point is that her behavior only makes things worst. If she is afraid of physical harm (a point that has been brought up plenty if times here to justify her behavior) doing what she did can only make someone even more angry than being simply rejected and if she is afraid of losing the relationship that she has with OP, making him feel even more shitty and playing with his emotions can only make their relationship worse than a flat out rejection.
Kalrhin: And the point that I am trying to make is that she is trying to avoid the rejection in any form. Why do you want to give a straight out rejection when there is nothing to be gained from it?
WhyJeSuisHere: I don't think you understand, there is never anything to gain in this situation (except a friendship I guess), but she is losing everything by refusing to be straightforward. It is objectively a worst decision on every metrics.
Kalrhin: So…she should never have friended him? It seems a situation of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
If she avoids giving the answer she is doing “the worst decision ever” (according to you)
If she gives a flat out NO she opens the doors to be insulted, threatened, stalked, insulted, shamed and other horrendous things. You can see examples of such behaviors with a single google search (https://www.scarymommy.com/women-reject-men-twitter-thread).
What shiuld have been her move? Change job? Never talk to him?
WhyJeSuisHere: By refusing to give an answer she opens the door to violence even more ! That's what I keep saying to you and you don't seem to get, playing with someone will only make them more sad/angry. By being straightforward at least they could have still been friends.
Kalrhin: And all of the examples I gave you are cases where they could NOT be friends. Spend five seconds on the internet about bad reaction to rejection stories. What do you know that all of those people don’t?
WhyJeSuisHere: What ? I'm honestly baffled at how you seem to not be able to understand anything here. Her way to reject him can only makes things worst not better, if OP was a violent psychopath, the way she rejected him would only have made him react in an even more violent way, but if OP is a reasonable person, than her way of rejection him simply makes sad and possibly destroys a friendship, so her decision was the worse possible one.
Kalrhin: I understand you…but you just repeat the same argument. We do not have a time machine that can go back in time, have her say a straight “NO” to OP and see what would have happened.
BUT the closest thing to this is the large number of times that other people rejected others in bery similr situations. Everything has been tried: from flat out NO, to “ok just one drink” to ignoring and millions of other responses. Thise did nit end up nicely.
What makes you think that this situation is different?
WhyJeSuisHere: Exactly, if every thing has been tried and it always ends the same if the one being rejected is a psychopath, than being flat out honest is always the best practice. The situation exactly proves that. OP would have taken no as no and would have continued being friend with her, instead he feels toyed with and doesn't want to have any kind of relationship with someone that would do that to him.
Kalrhin: ​
>Exactly, if every thing has been tried and it always ends the same if the one being rejected is a psychopath, than being flat out honest is always the best practice.
There is a big gap between "no outcome is good" and "it always ends the same".
And again, no one said OP is a psychopath. The fear is that OP does not take a rejection nicely (something much more frequent in our society).
>The situation exactly proves that. OP would have taken no as no and would have continued being friend with her \[...\]
And I keep on saying that this outcome is VERY unlikely to happen.
WhyJeSuisHere: What do you mean ? OP has stated that, it was not unlikely to happen, it would have happened, like it happens most times. Her way of doing things was pure immaturity and selfishness and I'm flabbergasted that you are trying to rationalize it and whether it's likely to keep the friendship or not doesn't matter anyway to be frank, playing with someone's feeling is just plain evil, be honest, be a better person.
Kalrhin: >What do you mean ? OP has stated that, it was not unlikely to happen
We have discussed this: unless you have a time machine we cannot know if this "unlikely to happen" would actually be true. More importantly, if you had the machine and you show me that indeed they became friends...SHE DOES NOT KNOW THIS. She has to act with whatever information she has.
> it would have happened, like it happens most times.
Say that indeed "most times" after an honest rejection people continue as friends (I will discuss this later about it later). Even if the risk is low, this goes back to my very first post about cars and seat belts: car accidents are extremely unlikely, and seat belts save you in an even smaller percentage of those...still I want to wear one at all times. I think she is following the same reasoning.
From personal experience I can tell you once I rejected someone, and that person stalked me for years (and over different continents). Even if the chance of that happening again is extremely unlikely, I do not want it to happen to me ever again.
​
>Her way of doing things was pure immaturity and selfishness and I'm flabbergasted that you are trying to rationalize it and whether it's likely to keep the friendship or not doesn't matter anyway to be frank, playing with someone's feeling is just plain evil, be honest, be a better person.
And this goes back to the "likelyhood of becoming friends": you have not met her, you have not heard her point of view, hell, you have only read a 10 minute summary of the situation...and you have judged her as "immature", "evil", "guilty of playing with someone else's feelings" and even you "are flabbergasted that someone would even side with her"!
If you have these strong feelings for her, imagine what will someone that is rejected by her feeling. Will OP act in a negative way? I have no way of telling, but if she gets asked out often...then sooner or later someone will. Until she has a machine to tell the outcome in advance you have to admit that being careful is at the very least a reasonable thing to do.
Yes yes, I know: you will come with a "had she been honest, then I would not feel this way", but I have given you examples of people that were honest and regretted it nonetheless. I know changing someone else's mind is hard. Just try to see it from the other person's PoV.
WhyJeSuisHere: I'm honestly not that invested to read all that you wrote, you need a TLDR, but your argument is circular and going nowhere. Just be honest, it will always be the better option.
Kalrhin: The TLDR is that honesty is not as perfect of a shield as you think. If you want to know why...then read the non-TLDR version
| 29 | 14.827586 | |
1655583720 | 1655587149 | t3_vfehbe | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a fake snapchat account that possibly ruined 2 friendships
[deleted]
baaaaddds: Dude what
diamondthedegu1: Yeah mostly nonsensical but in short OP fucked up so badly that both friends definitely knew it after speaking with one another.
OP has now also deleted the post, likely because it was barely English.
I have my moments with my ability to translate gibberish 😂
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1655585191 | 1655589112 | t3_vfeymi | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend “I wish”
[deleted]
Such-Wrongdoer-2198: Dude sounds like a total simp. His GF has convinced him to let her fuck other guy(s), and then manipulates him for joking about doing the same. I am getting the impression that non-monogamous and healthy are mutually exclusive.
RubProfessional9920: A) You’re wrong because I was the one who started this. So now you look dumb. B) You’re so closed minded it’s astounding. C) You have literally 0 context on how she handles or views this type of relationship so not only are you arguing from ignorance abt non monogamy, youre also doing it about this post
| 3 | -0.333333 | |
1655585597 | 1655590153 | t3_vff3iy | t5_2to41 | 176 | yourdadisabean: TIFU Talks Episode #16 Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU Talks!
hhp_tg: DADDY BEAN
hhp_tg: I AM BACK FATHER BEAN
PheonixGalaxy: We found the bean stan
hhp_tg: Daddy bean and i are besties
| 5 | 35.2 | |
1655586850 | 1655601170 | t3_vffiri | t5_2to41 | 14 | Greywolf2117: TIFU when arguing with my gf
I (m27) fucked up when I was arguing with my gf (f28) today. Last night, we spent the night at her mother's house. I have a virtual audition at 1 pm today. I woke up at 11:30 am. Rushed and drove to our apartment to do the audition since all of my lighting and camera stand for phone is there. I forgot to wake up my gf because I rushed. Well, around 7 minutes before the audition started, my gf calls me and starts arguing with me and expressing how mad she is that I didn't wake her up to take her. I try telling her we could argue about it after the audition. About a minute left from audition I had to hang up. Later, when I picked her up, we continued arguing and it got worse. We tend to interrupt each other alot. So I gave her time to say what she needed to say. But, when it was my turn, she kept interrupting. Then she tries to tell me to talk about particular subjects and not other subjects. I got upset and responded with "You can't just tell the other person what they can or can't say, it's not fair. This is what causes men to cheat." No, I don't have the callousness to cheat on her, but boy, we have stopped arguing after that and not talking since.
TL;DR my gf kept interrupting me during an argument and trying tell me what I can talk about and I responded with "You can't just tell the other person what they can or can't say, it's not fair. This is what causes men to cheat."
Edit: I want to clarify that I'm aware of how fucked up that response was and it definitely was not meant to be a fear tactic. Still wrong and it definitely came off as such regardless of what I actually meant. Which was that I believe this is what most relationships fail on. I'm definitely not walking away, but I definitely gotta make up to her not to walk from me. Thank you redditors for also clearing up for me how bad that comment sounds and why.
A-Dolahans-hat: Wow…. That’s quite the hole you dug.
I would recommend you trying to talk with her after you both cool down and try to explain how in the moment the words came out all wrong and what you meant to say was that but about relationships failing due to the lack of communication and how you blurted out the thing about cheating and then in anger you double downed on the fubar.
Unless you just want to walk away from the relationship, try to have a real heart to heart talk about it.
Naive_Exercise_5148: THIS.
OP, I’m pretty sure we’ve all said things out of anger, that we didn’t mean so she should understand this when you talk again. But umm, yeah, give her a bit to cool down first.
I’ve never been one to argue or get into shouting matches, with anyone not just partners. That is until I decided I was done with the shit & filed for divorce from my ex. The end of our marriage was nothing but a boxing ring. My problem was, that he would get me so pissed that when I finally did speak up, I couldn’t form real words, thoughts and definitely not sentences. Things I had never said or thought of, came flying out my mouth. Along with some made up words.
It took me a little time to recognize that I carried that attitude out of the marriage and into the rest of my life. I made sure to change that because I’m also raising a son and I do not want him thinking that yelling, fighting and insulting each other is normal.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. 😀
Greywolf2117: Thank you and yes, we both have that problem. We both hold in till we get fed up or something big enough for either of us needing to address it. We have been working on addressing problems and issues for a few months after we let out a lot. This was just a big fuck up on my part. I definitely don't want to walk away from this. I know I can't be the same if she isn't in the picture.
A-Dolahans-hat: I’m glad you are aware that each of you has issues with communication.
One thing you can try that seems weird but can really help is use the sentence starter
“The story I’m telling myself in my head is ….”
So let’s say she wants to go hang out with her friends but you had planned something of a date night.
Saying something like “the story in my head is you feel the friend is more important then my feelings”
Doing it that way will allow the other person to not feel attacked and might see it from your point.
In the same argument, she might then explain instead of fighting with you about why she needs to go out tonight instead of tomorrow night.
If that makes sense.
Greywolf2117: That's a good one, I like that one. It does make sense. Thank you
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1655588883 | 1655597264 | t3_vfg6uc | t5_2to41 | 11 | throwaway9276362517: TIFU by spending money that I shouldn’t have
[removed]
Rosey991: I’m surprised people still fall for this
starliner2000: Just remember the old adage: there's a sucker born every minute.
AcrobaticSource3: Except they don’t get to suck or be sucked
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1655584493 | 1655668901 | t3_vfeqi6 | t5_2to41 | 36 | rtslaywood: TIFU by asking reddit for help
Recently I started writing serial stories. After putting my first one out there I realized that a ton of people who were reading the first part, weren't going on to read the second. Though realistically it didn't matter as the story was doing well, getting into top 10, favorites, follows, that kind of thing.
However, last week I got a sinus infection and released the 7th part about 4 days late. As a natural consequence of my frail constitution my stories ranking dropped and didn't really improve even after publishing the 7th part.
So I decided to see if I could improve read through rate and as of 21 hours ago I went to r/writting to ask for help to see what I could do to better the story and hook people into reading the rest.
Welp, that made it worse.
Though I received some valuable feedback, I noticed my books listing falling rapidly, in spite of additional 30 some reads! Where I was top 10 in urban fantasy, the story fell to 148. Paranormal? I don't even want to count but its now listed on page 6.
I figured out that the platform measures likes and follows as part of its algorithm. So while all these people are now reading the first part, the platform is reading it as people picking it not liking it.
TL;DR Asked reddit for advice on how to improve my writing and sandbagged my story rating into the abyss.
Rosey991: If it’s valuable how did you fail? Wasn’t it your fault?
rtslaywood: Because now it's lost it's ranking. With cereal writing being on those first pages is immensely important to the profitability of the story.
By not leaving well enough alone I've effectively killed the potential of the story unless a miracle happens and a bunch of people start liking it again.
Serial*
Rosey991: So it wasn’t valuable info
spideyguy132: Valuable info about their writing, but in a way that hurt it's overall ratings without it deserving so, per say.
Like if they shared a Google doc with the story asking for advice they would get the same help, but the ratings wouldn't get touched.
Rosey991: Isn’t that OPs fault for utilising this wrong
spideyguy132: Which is why it's a tifu
| 7 | 5.142857 | |
1655589672 | 1655635844 | t3_vfgfxu | t5_2to41 | 149 | Taaru: TIFU by somehow scaring off a flirt
So I had been meeting this girl (also a colleague) for 3 weeks. I asked her for a dinner(4th date) she said yes but before that we had dessert and she decided not to have any dinner because she was full and she suddenly wanted to go back home. I texted her later in the evening and wanted to know if I had done smt wrong(stupid move I guess) and she called me to say it was not about me she had an headache and there were no good place to eat so she wanted to go back home. I said she could have told me she had a headache and we could go to a pharmacy nearby for the headache but no worries we can meet up later for dinner again later. No text between us for 2 days after this happened. What should I do? Should I give her time or call her to set up another date?
TL:DR --a girl I had been flirting with abruptly decided to go back home
Update: She texted me today briefly to see how I am doing. She told me that yesterday she went out to have dinner/coffee and she wished me good luck with my research project. Thats it, it was very brief. Should I now proceed with asking her out for dinner next week ?
cbrantley: It’s also possible that she had an upset stomach from the dessert and needed to use the toilet but didn’t want to tell you out of embarrassment.
However, anyone can decide to end a date at any time for any reason and you need to respect that. Telling her she should have told you about the headache so you could take her to a pharmacy might not have made her feel great. No one likes to be corrected like that.
Taaru: I did really feel bad after I sent the text. I should have just not corrected her like that, you are right. she is also a colleague and i should have respected her
1Synapse1: Mate.... If it wasn't this, it would have been something else..... Don't be so hard on yourself if she doesn't feel it.
| 4 | 37.25 | |
1655594114 | 1655597522 | t3_vfhung | t5_2to41 | -8 | [deleted]: TIFU by stumbling across my sister's private toy - and being very torn how to go about this...
[deleted]
coconut1231: From where would she have the money to buy it? How come nobody in your family saw something was delivered to your house? How would a huge dildo fit her at such a young age and assuming she's a virgin cause she's still a child. So many questions.
Black_flaminago84: 1 is an in appropriate question…
coconut1231: Not really. It's a rethorical question
Black_flaminago84: “How would a huge dildo fit in her…” is not something that should cross anyones mind….
coconut1231: She's 13 ....A kid. A child. I don't get how everybody thinks it's perfectly fine for a kid to own that. Maybe I was too harsh with the words I used.
Black_flaminago84: I don’t know if you’re male or female, which matters in seeing your view of this.
If you’re male then likely at 13 you used your hand plenty as you learned about your body. Great for you that your hand is there and so easy to use! Guess what? Not always that simple for girls!
If you’re a female then think back to when you were that age. Enough said.
For all we know she has a very forward thinking mother who helped her get it. And there would be nothing wrong with that!
If she’s going to learn to please herself then why not with a proper toy vs a household item.
coconut1231: The problem is not masturbation itself. It's how she does it at such a young age.
Black_flaminago84: Ya you need to stop. There’s nothing wrong with how she does it.
| 9 | -0.888889 | |
1655594938 | 1655597045 | t3_vfi3pl | t5_2to41 | 56 | HelenaOfTroi: TIFU by assuming my interview offer was a scam
So I've been looking for a job recently and applying to a ton on Indeed. One job I applied to was from a very reputable store that most of you have definitely heard of. So I send in my resume and cover letter, and suspiciously quickly I get a response back. This response is full of typos and bad grammar, it's incredibly informal, and says they couldn't find my phone number on indeed and gives me another phone number to call... even though my phone number is at the very top of both my resume and cover letter.
I don't respond to the message, and instead call the company itself, asking to verify it with them in case it's a scam because it seemed incredibly suspicious. Well they say they'll look into it. A week later I hear nothing back, so I follow up, they tell me I should just apply on the company site since they don't know, I say okay and just apply there. The next day I get a followup call from a woman who tells me the man that emailed me is, in fact, the manager of the department I applied to and wanted to schedule an interview with me. I apologized profusely and was utterly Mortified and thoroughly surprised, but the interview was yesterday and I did actually get a job offer! So now I'm just frantically trying to find an apartment so I can relocate before they give the job to someone else.
TL;DR I was contacted about a job application and thought it was 100% a scam. It turned out to be legit.
Intelligent_Orange28: It will not be fun working under someone that stupid
HelenaOfTroi: No he actually seems like a really nice guy, he just isn't super formal in emails and he doesn't speak English as his first language
AcrobaticSource3: But how did he explain not being able to find your phone number?
HelenaOfTroi: I didn't ask tbh
| 5 | 11.2 | |
1655595484 | 1655600937 | t3_vfi9oi | t5_2to41 | 19 | loumica: TIFU by being to lazy to clean a bottle that ended up exploding
I'm so so so lucky to have no injury at all.
I could have really baldy injured myself and my pets.
A week ago, I made a smoothie and put it in a glass bottle. I put it in the fridge and drank most of it.
2 days ago, I took it out to clean it but it had already started to ferment / mold.
Because of laziness and the fact that it disgusted me, I let it sit on my counter for two whole day, occasionnaly thinking that I really needed to clean it.
Now, in the past, I have let some food go bad, but nothing bad never happend, it's just more gross to clean after.
But, yesterday was a really hot day and today even more. The temperature rose to approximately 27 degrees celsius in my apartment (About 80 degree fahrenheit).
Just as I began to eat, I heard the loudest noise I had ever heard in my life. It looks like a balloon exploding, but at least 10 time louder.
I instinctively cover my ears and protect my head, then I felt things fall on me. It took me a few seconds to react and realise everything around me was cover in glass.
I live in a studio, so I look around for what could have made that noise and found nothing at the beggining. I was even thinking that somebody had launched an explosive device of some sort in my appartement.
Then I realized my glass bottle was gone.
I began to walk around, on the glass, a bit confused. I was shaking so bad and crying a bit.
My first reflexe was to look around for my pets that were roaming around at the time.
Thankfully, nothing had hit them.
One was already in his cage, and the other two were hidding under the bed.
Once everything was secure for them, I started to look more closely. The glass bottle was gone, shattered in million pieces everywhere in the room. Litteraly not a single spot without glass. A plastic bottle close to the explosion had been knocked over. And more impressive, a glass that was standing close was also broken, like it had been taken away by the explosion, with the food of the glass still upright.
My father, whom I had called earlier, quickly arrived and was shocked. I didn't realise on the phone how bad it was.
What exactly happened is probably that the pressure in the bottle became so high due to fermentation that it just exploded. The fermentation has accelerated because of the heat.
After calming down, I realized how bad it could have been, if I had been next to it, or even holding it.
I could have go blind, have really bad cut, my hand could have been really really baldy injured, my pets could have been injured.
I'm really really lucky, 5 minutes earlier, I was cooking next to the bottle.
I'm so so thankful that my pets are not injured and just a bit stress out. I would never forgive myself if something had happened to them.
I'm still a bit shake down, but I have learn my lesson.
I'll also see if I can contact the manufacturer or something. My dad finds it weird that the bottle doesn't have a weaker place where it can break rather than explode like this. It could have been dramatic.
TL;DR I was too lazy to clean a glass bottle and it just exploded because of the fermentation. Luckily, nobody is injured, but it could have ended up really badly.
Few_Carpenter_9185: My teenage daughter likes Kombucha (yuk..) and she left a half finished bottle in her room on her shelf. And it exploded in the middle of the night.
The struggle is real, I guess.
loumica: Hope she didn't get injured. I looked on the internet a bit, I saw it happened for Kombucha, beer and SodaStream sometimes ... Some people end up in the ER. Seeing the other glass just swept away and finding big chunk of glass more than 30 feet away, I can see why ..
Few_Carpenter_9185: She was okay. The paper label glued to the bottle reduced the amount of glass fragments somewhat.
Her room stank like the dirty floor of a liquor store for awhile though.
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1655595600 | 1655608446 | t3_vfiaz1 | t5_2to41 | 19 | MrPresident11: TIFU by talking to a pretty girl
What started out as an amazing day soon became a nightmare…
This happened an hour or so ago. Im a young dude from the US currently in Warsaw, Poland. Im very interested in Eastern European culture and whatnot (this pertains to the story). I love talking to people from Poland, Ukraine, Russia, Baltics, etc. So, Im on top of this observation tower in old town Warsaw. Amazing view: all of old town, Praga and the Vistula and the new modern skyscrapers of Warsaw. Up there with my brother, this beautiful girl asks us to take pictures of her. Unsatisfied with my brother’s camera work, I took her phone and took the pictures for her. We then talked for a bit and then we stopped. My brother urged me to continue to keep talking. So, after about 20 mins of me standing next to her but nervously staying silent, I restart our conversation. She’s this amazing Ukrainian student who just fled Kyiv due to Putin’s assface. She speaks Ukrainian, Russian, Polish, and English. Had a great personality. Just perfect. Eventually I ask her to join me for dinner and we decide on a lovely authentic Polish restaurant. We then get Ukrainian wine where she shows me some of her traditions from back home. At this point it’s dark so we decide to head back in the direction of where Im staying. She wanted to ride on the cities electric scooters so we took those for a spin. Unfortunately, minutes later, the night would be shattered. As I take the lead (I, somehow, knew the city better than her) she told me how bad she was at controlling the scooters. Me wanting to show off started going faster and going on stupid bumps and over curbs. Stupid. Worst mistake. As I fly gracefully over a curb I look back just as she hits it. And flies forward. Onto the curb. I ran over to her and already I saw blood everywhere. She was confused at first. She looked at me with her body face and my heart dropped. Her two front teeth were broken almost in half. I tried to comfort her but I didn’t know what to say. She was crying now and talking nervously in Ukrainian. She called her mom and they talked for a while in Ukrainian as I called her a taxi. She left and I felt absolutely responsible. I ruined this poor girls life- at least for a while. She was so cheerful and inspirational. Having to leave her home from war only to gave her fave broken by some stupid American.
TL;DR- I went out with a Ukrainian girl in Warsaw and ended up making her break her front teeth on rental scooters.
AcrobaticSource3: > I ruined this poor girls life
No, I’m pretty sure that Putin did that, making her flee her home
MrPresident11: True but I didnt help
Known-Salamander9111: You ain’t that special. Teeth are very fixable. Putins actions are very not.
Just take the L and learn from it amigo. :)
MrPresident11: Thank you
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1655587016 | 1655619364 | t3_vffkrw | t5_2to41 | 14 | bookwormbitch4: TIFU by leaving my phone open near my cats
English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistakes
This just happened and I feel like throwing up. I hope writing this down will help me process the situation.
I ( 19F) was supposed to go out with a guy (18M) on a date 2 days ago but he canceled last minute and told me he was tired from a trip he went on and we could meet another time. I was annoyed because I live far from the place we were meeting at and I prepared myself for a long train ride. I told him what he did was shitty, he could have told me earlier and I not Sure if I wanted to reschedule our date. I told him I neded to think about it because it sounded like a lame excuse. He told me he understood and was sorry
After a day I wrote to him that if he really was sorry and wanted to meet than he needs to be serious but if not I would rather him to be upfront about it.
I wrote the message in the morning and didn't get an answer by the evening so I figured he won't answer me.
It sucked but we only talked for 3 weeks so it wasn't the end of the world.
I wanted to accept this and move one but unfortunately for me the universe had other plans for me.
I wanted to answer a message on a group chat but I needed to pee so I left my phone on the shelf ran to bathroom and did what I needed to do. I hared my cats fighting and things moving in my room so I tried to harry before they'll break something.
Whan I returned I saw my phone on the chair next to the shelf and something written on it about a video chat.
My hart dropped. I "called" the guy. And I can do that only if I open the chat. It definitely looked like I stared on the messages. I sent a text apologizing saying it was a mistake. And he wrote to me that he was sorry but he wasn't sure about going out with someone who he barely knows.
I think he thinks I'm a stalker and I understand why. It's super weird, I have no clue how they menage to do that.
I want to die from shame rn
But hi at least I got a direct answer
TL:DR I my cats dropped my phone and called a guy who blew me off
loumica: Well, that was shitty to cancel last minute, especially if you're far away. His last response also seems like a dumb excuse. And if you only have call him once accidently, why would he think you're stalking him ?
Honestly, if you're are just talking for 3 weeks, you think you can move on easily and he doesn't seems into it more than that, I would say leave it. But also, I totaly get the 'It's not the end of the world' and then total panicking 1 paragraph later !
bookwormbitch4: Well not stalking, I used a wrong term, I meant to say it probably lookes creepy because on whatsApp you can't call someone unless you are on the chat so I'm afraid it looks like I stared at the chat. That's why I'm panicking.
Bax_Cadarn: Chillax. Just tell him it was You cat who stared at his messages then decided to call him.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1655598267 | 1655601194 | t3_vfj3eb | t5_2to41 | 2 | AltruisticActivity39: TIFU by using random charger I found in my home
So, I finally upgraded my phone to iPhone 12 last year (2021) after using my iPhone 6 for so long. If you also use apple, or keep updated with popular tech news, you would already know that Apple had stopped giving us free charger on account of “trying to be greener”. Another annoying thing, they also change the cable to usb-c connector. Which means, all my previous head charger won’t fit with the new cable. Since I gave my iPhone 6 to my sister, she took the cable and the charger. Coincidentally, I found a charger laying around with usb-c connector. I thought I hit the jackpot and I was pretty happy for not having to spend some money on a new charger. I use that charger everyday without giving much thought.
Long story short, a local thread in Twitter had gone viral and started a discourse about iPhone’s battery health. I found some mixed results about the BH but the majority of the latest iPhone had a pretty good BH (about ~95% for a year usage). I checked my phone battery on a whim and was so surprised to find that my BH had gone down to 86% in less than a year. I have to admit it upsets me since I’m planning to use this phone as long as I could. After some observations, I found out that the charger I’ve been using is knock-out Apple charger that my other sister bought. She bought it from a local e-commerce and since I “stole” it, she got another one. This time she got the brand u-green one (if I’m not mistaken). I asked her BH and true enough, hers is still pretty good (our purchase is only a month apart). I’m pretty sure the dropping in my BH was caused by this knockout Apple brand charger.
The sneaky thing I did to save a little bit of money had bitten me in the ass. Since I don’t have AppleCare and my warranty is due next week, I’m sure pretty I’ll have to get my battery changed in next year or so. I’m still mad with the past me for being a cheapskate smh.
TL;DR: i used a random charger for my new phone and turns out it’s a knockout brand so now my battery health has dropped pretty significantly.
Siver92: It wasn't the charger. U-Green is actually a really good brand, I've bought and tested several of their charges, battery banks, and USB cables
The battery life just drops, it's natural. Especially if you're constantly draining it and recharging it a lot. Like playing a lot of mobile games or videos, draining it faster, and then charging it
FLTDI: >She bought it from a local e-commerce and since I “stole” it, she got another one. This time she got the brand u-green one (if I’m not mistaken). I asked her BH and true enough, hers is still pretty good
Looks to me like that op states ugreen is the good one and not the knock off.
Siver92: Okay, even if it was some Chinese clone, no brand at all, it wouldn't hurt the battery health. Most of them will still charge, even up to 1a, but their biggest issue, and the reason to not use them, is the isolation between high side (240v/120v input) and low side (5v output). Some of the really dodgy ones will make your phone live at mains voltage. Meaning your phone, with a metal case, could cause 240v/120v AC to pass through your body. But that still isn't going to affect your battery life.
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1655596952 | 1655609668 | t3_vfipey | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by choosing not to wear sunscreen and then turning my arms into lobster arms.
[deleted]
loumica: That's crazy how it take only some sunburn to increase the risk for skin cancer ! I mean, it's logical, but the number of people you see with sunburn on a beach is craazy.
There are creams like biafine that works well for sun burn ! And if you're really afraid about skin cancer, you can go to a dermatologist once a year to check your skin ! I have to do it, because my mom had a melanoma. When it's catch early, it's really treatable !
Mother_Ducker12: I know! Sun burns are so common, but it definitely makes sense. And with the amount I’ve had, I definitely should be more vigilant.
I already do see a derm for acne but it’ll probably be a good idea to check my skin too. I don’t have an immediate reason but it’s not a bad idea. My mother has also had some skin cancer before too. I hope yours is alright!
| 3 | 3 | |
1655603315 | 1655610282 | t3_vfkjsd | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my friend convince me to go to the beach after I tried to back out.
[deleted]
joke5ive: Your girl friend lady just enabled this drunk to do whatever he wanted and his name wasn’t Vinnie was it?
[deleted]: His name wasn't Vinnie lol.
joke5ive: Right on I was gonna go over and beat his ass if it was Vinnie.
| 4 | 2 | |
1655602440 | 1655647991 | t3_vfkapv | t5_2to41 | 7,276 | Eartothevinyl: Tifu by having a drink of water on an airplane
So as it’s known, you cannot bring liquids over 100 ml on commercial flights. I decided to be proactive and bring an empty water bottle across security and then would fill it up on the other side. Seems logical right? So I went through security and then proceeded to the water bottle filling station on the other side. I filled my bottle, put it away and didn’t think of it much after that.
Now I have one of those bottles that is kind of like a sippy cup, a spring loaded mouthpiece that folds down into the lid to close that opens to ready position with the click of a button, a straw down the middle of the bottle so when you’re drinking from the mouthpiece the water comes from the bottom, like a regular straw.
I wait for a couple of hours after a long delay and board my flight, we take off and there are no problems.
I decided after about an hour in the air that I’m thirsty, I go and grab my water bottle and then click the button (the one that spring loads the mouthpiece to open) now as I press the button, I start to think about air pressure…. Especially in sealed bottle at a very high elevation, that have liquid in it.
Luckily there were no people sitting in my row with me (super lucky) because as I pressed the button, a geyser erupts from the mouthpiece about 2 feet above me, hitting the ceiling above and pouring a significant amount of water all over myself and the other 2 seats that were thankfully empty. Super fun rest of my flight.
TL;DR: I opened my water bottle at a high elevation and I was soaked
Infinite-Furiosa: Honestly yes that sucks but you lucked out SO much you didn’t have seatmates.
Eartothevinyl: Super lucky. Also just super lucky to have a row on the airplane to myself!
Any-Manufacturer7551: At least this is one circumstance where most people would have a spare set of clothes… unless they checked everything in.
Maybe it’s opportunity for a life pro tip to remind everyone to have a spare set of clothes in their carry on.
User808_: Damn I never have a spare set of clothes in my carry on.
Jojo_Epic_YT: You should in case they lose your other luggage
User808_: Usually it’s just a backpack with my laptop, chargers, headphones, power bank, a book, travel documents, and a box of McNuggets.
Will start cramming an extra set of clothes in there now haha.
depr3ss3dmonkey: I am not an avid traveler yet. But from what i remember that backpack is your 'personal item' isn't it? You are allowed to bring another luggage as your carry on.
Zanki: Depends on the airline. I flew with tui last week. Could only bring hand luggage of a certain size up to 10kg. No other bags were allowed, including handbags. I wore a bum bag though because I had no pockets and no one cared.
| 9 | 808.444444 | |
1655603680 | 1655653340 | t3_vfknii | t5_2to41 | 14 | CarefulImprovement11: TIFU by eating Taco Bell
Disclaimer, this happened when I was 11. I’m 27F.
I’m writing this on my phone so I am sorry if my grammar / format is weird or for any typos.
I was just reading this poor mans story earlier about giving himself explosive diarrhea and it made me think of this moment, a moment I occasionally look back on and chuckle at.
I am from a super small town, the nearest “city” is 2 hours away, this also happens to be the home of my ~local~ Taco Bell.
I had begged and pleaded with my dad and sister to eat at Taco Bell while we were in town shopping at our local mall. At that point in my life, I had never had Taco Bell, however, I heard about it on the internet so naturally, I was intrigued. Internet says Taco Bell = good and we all know that the internet doesn’t lie so I had to have it!
To this day I don’t remember what I ordered, I just remember the absolute hell that ensued afterwards.
We finish eating and are on our way back home, I start to feel a rumbley in my tumbley but figured it was nothing serious. Queue an hour into the ride, I am pleading with my dad to please stop at the nearest gas station because I have GOT to go. I inherited my dads digestive system so he understands when you gotta go, you gotta go.
He stops at the closest gas station which is a little mom and pop family owned type of place (as are most gas stations where I’m from) I exit my dads truck clenching my buttcheeks full force with a terrible case of sweats. I can’t even imagine how I looked looking back at it lol. I enter the gas station, avoiding eye contact and looking for the nearest sign of the bathroom. This store has 2 aisles, I’m standing in one of the aisles frantically looking for a bathroom when i start losing my balance, my vision started going blurry / blacking out and next thing I know, I’m waking up on the floor with the people in the store looking at me with concern. They ask me if I’m okay and if I need anything, if they can help, etc.
I just kind of mumble “bathroom” and the cashier lady looks at me both confused and concerned, she tells me it’s outside (it’s an outhouse, lol) and she helps me walk to the outhouse.
Holy smokes y’all. Thank god it was an outhouse because I don’t think modern plumbing could of handled it. I finished my business and nonchalantly get back in my dads truck, naturally he was concerned when he saw the lady assist me to the outhouse (she was holding onto me so it was obvious I was not ok) and then I had to tell him the whole ordeal. My dad naturally thought it was hilarious and I swore off Taco Bell ever since!
TLDR; I ate some Taco Bell and it went straight through me, an hour into my 2 hour drive home my body wanted to punish me and whilst trying to find a bathroom, I passed out (from a combination of pin gas and holding it in) causing minor chaos in a small gas station before finding relief in an outhouse.
eroticawriterman: Reminds me of the time I entered a Bell just to do what you had, but it was more solid and plugged the professional-grade toilet. I was banned for 2 years for plugging it in the middle of rush.
SmokeyShine: You gotta flush mid-dump!
eroticawriterman: It was one sub. One sub cannot be chopped in half, can it?
Setthegodofchaos: Poop knife
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1655603084 | 1655606343 | t3_vfkhgf | t5_2to41 | 29 | Old_Membership_8299: TIFU by lining up for a ride at an amusement park and not peeing beforehand.
Today I (19F) decided to go to an amusement park with a few close friends, as the weather this weekend was supposed to be very nice and not too hot. This morning I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, but not wanting to miss out on the fun I decided to go anyways. Because of the nice weather and the fact that it was a weekend, the lines were super long and the park was very crowded.
Throughout the day I had been drinking loads of water because of my sore throat. Eventually I decided to get in line for the biggest ride in the park, with a wait of like 1.5 hours. My friends didn't want to go but I was insistent, so they went on other rides while I went by myself. Half an hour in I had to pee pretty bad, but didn't want to lose my spot in line. An hour in, I'm dying and have no choice but to leave the line and bolt to the nearest bathroom....except halfway there I feel something running down my leg.
I just totally peed all over myself. As a 19 year old adult. It was mortifying.
I had no choice but to walk in shame in wet pants back home, as I had no change of clothes with me ( I live a 20-25 minute walk from the park).
Never making that mistake again.
TL;DR, I drank tons of water at an amusement park, didn't pee before lining up for a ride, and ended up wetting my pants.
Siver92: Throw them on ebay, someone will buy them. Turn your fuck up into profit
Old_Membership_8299: Throw what on eBay?
Evil_Creamsicle: Your pissy pants, I believe, is what is being implied
Old_Membership_8299: Hahaha really? People are weird. I would have considered it if I hadn't already thrown them in the wash.
Evil_Creamsicle: There's a lot of gross fuckers on ebay. I saw some gamer girl streamer selling jars of her bath water for $30
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2020/12/05/meet-21-year-old-londoner-made-10-million-selling-bathwater/#:~:text=The%20character%20of%20Belle%20Delphine,was%20concerned%20might%20offend%20people.
| 6 | 4.833333 | |
1655607650 | 1655608658 | t3_vflsd9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Feelingsickworry: TIFU by eating the wrong foods
(Male 29) I keep throwing up after I eat certain foods
I weight 220 pounds and I’m 6ft. Today I got a couple of cheeseburgers from McDonalds and after I ate them I felt nauseas. After about an hour I took my medicine. I take Abilify and Zoloft. I gotta say this though. I haven’t taken my medicine in about a month or two. I can’t tell if I got sick from starting my medication again or if it was the food but I haven’t eaten anything else today and I’m honestly scared to.
I about a week ago I ate at Buffalo Wild Wings late at night want I ended up throwing up that night as well. I don’t know what’s going on but I used to be able to eat anything but now it seems like I can’t.
I just ate one taco and I already feel like I might have to throw up again. This is terrible. I don’t want to go to the bathroom though cause I’m tired of throwing up. I just hope I can sleep it off or something.
Tl;Dr I keep throwing up
welcometothemaschine: There’s a sort of tick, I believe it’s the lone star tick, where you get sick off of eating meat. Look into it. Other than that, I suggest you start taking probiotics. Lactobacilli and acidophilus. I also suggest that you neutralize your stomach acid by drinking water with baking soda. 8oz water with 1 tbsp baking soda. Cold water. Mix and chug.
Lunarpuppylove: Oh my god. I just thought of that. I heard this woman’s story today and was blown away by this
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1655609772 | 1655613834 | t3_vfmdp3 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: Tifu by being curious about my uncles computer
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Bmor00bam: Ranking people based on melanin is wrong. There’s hot people in every culture…unless you’re from Missouri.
eringobrag88: Hey!
I resemble that statement
ItsMightyMike: Holy shit that made me laugh way harder than it should have.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1655611628 | 1655744023 | t3_vfmvsf | t5_2to41 | 14,824 | [deleted]: TIFU by being horny on Omegle
I’m sure you can see where this is going probably. Well, against my better judgement, I decided to try going on Omegle since I was… bored. I ended up landing on someone saying they were a woman from the Philippines and that they were also horny and wanted to head to Instagram. We exchanged socials and the person appeared to have a real account, around 200 followers and following and three posts featuring pics of themselves spanning a few months. I also asked for verification pic and they sent a selfie that was different than their posts. Dummy me decided that was enough credibility. They said to hop on a video call to… get to know each other. They turned on the camera and it actually was the girl in the posts and selfie so I whipped it out. Turns out it was just a prerecorded video that they managed to play as live camera footage and now they recorded the whole thing and scammed me out of $100. When I didn’t pay up because my bank flagged the payment and it didn’t go through, they then decided to share said video thru my followers list and Facebook friends.
Needless to say I’ll never go online when horny again. Hell I’ll never be horny again.
TL;DR someone recorded me jacking off and is sending to a bunch of people I know.
Skyaboo-: I love these stories. Men love to act so fucking tough but they're literally so weak once their penis needs a little attention 😂
Yarusenai: I mean it's scientifically proven that the brain and decision making specifically is a lot weaker when you're horny. It's not really a man or woman only thing.
Skyaboo-: Accurate. But you dont see women falling for these scams. Just saying.
Yarusenai: Oh I've seen quite a few fall for it, but it is less that's for sure.
Skyaboo-: Feel free to link a few. Shouldn't be hard if there are quite a few.
phoenixpoptart: Ah yes let me just provide links to personal accounts I’ve seen irl
Skyaboo-: Nobody cares about your supposed "personal irl accounts"
I want you to find me any single one example online. You know. Since theyre so equally plentiful. Ill be here waiting.
phoenixpoptart: Let me counter with a question, not trying to deflect the conversation but I’m genuinely curious. Why do you care so much? Like it genuinely does not matter.
Skyaboo-: Because stranger on internet challanged me! Caveman brain say argue!
phoenixpoptart: Honestly that’s completely fair
Skyaboo-: 😂 I am a victim of my own programming. Thanks for calling me out sometimes I forget what Im doing
phoenixpoptart: Damn this got unexpectedly wholesome. Have a good day friend
Skyaboo-: You as well!
| 14 | 1,058.857143 | |
1655598061 | 1655634467 | t3_vfj16a | t5_2to41 | 5 | mythrowaway56475: TIFU by going on vacation
Obligatory this happened over the course of Monday to yesterday. Also obligatory this is a throwaway because I use the same username for everything and don't want it tracked to me.
Every couple of years my mom's side of the family travels to a small vacation island in Ohio for a week or two. Its a great opportunity to reunite with cousins and extended family. We had gotten there on Saturday, it was my immediate family and I, along with my cousin and her husband and child.
On Sunday, more family arrived. It was my cousin's sister and her kids, along with my grandma's sister and her kids who are younger than I am (I'm 18). One is a boy and the other is a girl. They're a little more than 2 years younger than me. The boy I'll call George and the girl I'll call Rose.
George, Rose and I have been good friends growing up. I have memories of us fishing and going to Disney world. We've always got along well but never saw each other. This was the first time I was seeing them in 5+ years. George I could remember what he looked like but Rose I couldn't remember a face for. So when they arrived that night and I saw them, I was extremely stunned to find that Rose looked like a girl I had a crush on last year (we live in different states, no it was not her). I was really shy around her for a bit and mainly hung around with George, we went fishing on the pier and skipped rocks and talked and caught up. The next day we caught up more and I actually talked to Rose when we all 3 went mini golfing and it was really nice. We joked around a lot and talked. But I noticed Rose acting a little strange towards me. Like not that I was weird or anything but like noticably off. When we went anywhere, we usually had to walk which took anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes. We'd all talk more during that and warm up to each other. During these walk I tried to keep her in my vision thanks to big brother complex, I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to her or George. I didn't really think anything of it then, but fast forward to Tuesday and we all 3 went kayaking. The lake was calm that day so we thought it was a good idea. We had to get a double and a single. George and I were in the single and Rose was in the single. She was deathly afraid of drowning despite the life jackets so every now and then I'd check on her by either shouting or putting up a thumbs up depending on how far away she went. It all went fine and we had a lot of fun. After we were done, George and I stayed at our cabins to fish while Rose went to a restaurant with her parents and everyone else. She got stuck on kid duty and adults would reward her with small amounts of alcohol. Not a big problem until there's miscommunication. She ended up drinking a lot more than she should've. When everyone came back, it was dark and something seemed wrong with Rose, like she was overwhelmed or nauseous. So I asked her if she wanted to come down to the docks with me, George and another cousin just to get to the quiet and peace. I guess looking back now, it was a way for me make sure she was ok and to keep an eye on her because I didn't trust the tipsy adults. However while we were down on the docks, something happened at the nearby campsite. My theory is a girl broke up with her boyfriend because we heard a male voice shouting assorted things like "Maddie I'm so sorry." "Please don't go, fuck I'm so sorry" and "I'm not a traitor" yadda yadda. But it was genuinely scary because he was shouting at the top of his lungs. We were all afraid. He also shouted something like "I'm gonna f***ing kill all of you, no bulls***, I'll kill you" and we decided to leave, but Rose was in pain from something I'm still unsure of. So I had to help her back to the cabins. I got her back there and while I was talking to everyone who was outside about what was happening, she went into the cabin my family was staying in (roughly 5 people could stay in each cabin so it was my immediate family). When I went in to get something, I saw my 28 year old cousin (I know I have a lot) helping her. I asked what was wrong and found out she was drunk so I gave her some water and this hydration mixture. I sat next to her and talked to her until my mom (who's a nurse) came in. We gave her some bread and she eventually threw up some of the alcohol. We had to keep her parents from finding out because they're a bit religious but we accidentally went a bit too far with the alcohol. George and I had to tell Rose to stop talking a couple of times because she was giggly and slurring a little. Once again I helped her walk, this time to their parents car while George distracted their parents. I spent the night with them so I could help keep an eye on her. On the car ride back to where they were staying, she was swaying a bit and I was sitting behind her so I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her and stabilize her. And she reached up and held my hand. It was dark so no one else saw and I figured it was just the alcohol talking. But then fast forward to the next day, I was back in my cabin and it was me and my mom. She asked if I had done "anything" with her. Obviously I said no, because she's my cousin and she's underage. Then she said that Rose's mom had texted her saying Rose asked her if I was really her cousin. I was a tad bit stunned. Sure I developed a small crush on her but I knew boundaries. My family and those who knew teased me a little for it. It made me nervous about her, and brought back my shyness towards her. But that urge to keep an eye on her was still there, as when I rented a golf cart, I'd check my rearview to see if she was alright in the backseat. I think she felt awkward about it too as when they left, she hardly said goodbye to me. She's still a little awkward when she texts me too. So idk. But anyway that's my FU.
TL;DR: Went on vacation and my cousin more than likely got a big crush on me and asked her mom if I was really a cousin and made my parents suspicious of me. Now she's also awkward towards me.
[deleted]: You should try to clear the air if that's possible. If it's not, just act normal the next time you see her. More than likely time will pass the awkwardness, especially because you're all still teenagers. Sounds like another part of growing up and nothing to be worried about.
mythrowaway56475: I won't see then for another 2 years so I don't have much to worry about
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1655616394 | 1655633185 | t3_vfo3eo | t5_2to41 | 18 | ur_ynome: TIFU using a bidet toilet seat
I bought a bidet toilet seat a while back and it has been one of the best purchases ever!
Nothing fancy, an American Standard Aquawash. It has 2 settings for vag and ass and basically squirts a few high pressure tiny streams of cold water in your cracks.
You have to move yourself around a little in the seat to get everything but it gets the job done. Only thing is that sometimes the stream hits the bull’s-eye, you get a little water up your ass and have to "pee" it out. Not a big deal, it feels extra clean and it's a small amount that expels quickly. Would still highly recommend getting one.
Here's the fuck up.
I did my business, used the bidet to wash my ass, then turned off the bidet and started peeing some excess water out of my butt. Again, no big deal, it only lasts a second.
But this time it didn't. It kept going.
I started to get worried and thought "Maybe I just hit the right spot and a lot of water just got up there?"
It kept going.
"Maybe I just triggered more poo?"
It kept going.
Now I'm getting worried and think I might be bleeding, so I cautiously start to lift my butt off the seat to take a look and that's when I realized my error. I didn't turn off the bidet all the way and it was projecting a very gentle stream directly on my anus that felt exactly like pissing out my ass. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure it out. I wasn't high, I swear.
TL;DR forgot to turn off my bidet all the way and thought I was peeing out my ass.
EfficientHospital130: Some countries don't believe in wiping their asses.
StyxMain: Well if you had poop on any other part of your body, would you only wipe it off with a dry paper until theres no more poop on the paper?
EfficientHospital130: Paper isn't perfect I agree.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1655617900 | 1655618709 | t3_vfogcu | t5_2to41 | 28 | Independent_State648: TIFU by buying everyone an AncestryDNA kit and ruining last Christmas
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thePopefromTV: [Repost from 3 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/a99fw9/tifu_by_buying_everyone_an_ancestrydna_kit_and/)
pyrohydrosmok: I don't know how they thought this was gonna work out
thePopefromTV: I noticed late at night a lot of subreddits start getting reposts from years ago of posts that got a lot of awards. Karma farming while nobody’s awake.
| 4 | 7 | |
1655618150 | 1655756313 | t3_vfoig3 | t5_2to41 | 14 | daaaaaaaaaaaaaaph: TIFU by talking to someone who doesn't care about me
TIFU by talking to someone doesn't care about me
so there was this time i saw this girl, and i was attracted to her, we both like to draw and stuff, i spend like almost half year to actually talk to her, i started by asking her if i can draw her and she said yes and gave me her instagram
me and her talked stuff on instagram saing things i shouldn't have said but all ended up good for the most part
so i gave her the drawing it was cool, she was amazed and stuff and then told her that it was her turn to draw me and it was all cool
been like a week since that happend and still nothing, i was ignoring her to see if she will approach me, but nothing, so me asking her
"im still waiting >:(" probably something i shouldn't have sent
the she asked me if i did her a drawing because i wanted a drawing from her, but then i explained her that was a plan to aproach her probably another bad move
she said it wasn't necessary and stuff also saying that she do drawings to special people, but idk, and then for some reason i still asked her like form music she likes and things like that
so i receive vague anwsers so yeah i fucked up badly but i dont understand what it is (because im not good at making new friends even worse talking to girls so yeah), so mostly im posting this to ask for help and to learn and to not make the same mistakes again (sorry if my english sucks im not an english speaker)
TL;DR i talked to this girl and just ended up in nothing so quick i know i fucked up but i don't know why
Darhria: To be honest, you sounded a bit pushy. Another time try and befriend her, maybe invite her out to a local art museum/shop or whatever. Maybe with more people, so she won't feel like it's a date. Get to know her before you "chase" her. That way she has a chance to get to know you before figuring out if she is at all interested.
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaph: yeah good idea i think, i can do this in other ways, thankfully i didn't screw it as bad for she to be angry at me or something like that
i think so, thank you!
emmgdac: Honestly though that would turn me off for good. Idk how she is OP, but seeing how quickly you got very pushy she might not want to give you another chance
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaph: if that is the case is ok then
emmgdac: And it’s totally fine if it is, just learn for next time
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1655618792 | 1655653771 | t3_vfoo9r | t5_2to41 | 1,575 | pregnancccctytestifu: TIFU by telling my husband to take out the trash
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savbh: Seems like an odd relationship. Why not tell him you did a test? Why wait until after the appointment? Relationships are about communicating and you didn’t.
pregnancccctytestifu: Because I needed to make sure that this was what I thought it was and this wasn’t health problems or something other than that, then I would tell him.
“Relationships are about” so forth. I see that this is an issue for y’all but for me and my husband this wasn’t an issue and still isn’t an issue. And many people do this as well.
savbh: Why did you need to make sure? Why couldn’t you communicate your initial concerns with him?
pregnancccctytestifu: Because I wanted to make sure it was was i thought it was. It’s not that I couldn’t communicate that it’s that I wanted to make sure it was a baby before announcing it was a baby. Why? Because I want to be certain before I announce anything. That’s my answer. My husband is not mad at it, I am not mad at it I’m sorry if that’s not something you would do but it’s what I did and in my relationship that’s not an issue.
savbh: But again: why did you want to make sure before telling him anything? Why not communicate your doubts and options with him? Why keep it to yourself?
pregnancccctytestifu: Alright dude I gave you an answer. I’m sorry thag didn’t satisfy but that’s all . that is why I didn’t communicate it at first. If you want to tell your spouse right when you find out that’s great. its Was my choice and that’s what I chose to do and why. I wasn’t going to create false hope until I knew for sure. If that doesnt answer your question sorry 🤷♀️.He knows now, we are getting checked out all is well in the world. Have a nice day
savbh: You do you but it just seems like a really strange and unhealthy relationship if you’re not communicating these things. Good luck
pregnancccctytestifu: I’m sorry it seems like that to you but it’s not. I am in a healthy relationship and again just because it’s something you wouldn’t do doesn’t mean it’s not healthy different people do different things and I think you need to understand that not everything is wrong just because you wouldn’t do it or it’s not your preference. It may not be your way but it’s my way and my way is fine with me and my husband. Thank you for your concern.
savbh: It’s not really “my way” it’s the way most people do it but okay, again you do you.
pregnancccctytestifu: Exactly. Most people. It’s most peoples way and I’m not most people
And obviously your apart of those “most people” therefor as those most people who don’t agree with me, that’s fine, when you have a kid or if you already did you can do it your way. Xx
savbh: Sure, like I said, you do you. What’s with the condescending kisses tho?
pregnancccctytestifu: One i will and two not condescending I’ve added those to multiple comments at the end as well its a subconscious thing but okay
savbh: Another thing that seems really odd
pregnancccctytestifu: seems like everything you don’t do that others do seems odd to you😂…… but it’s how I text soooo cool? Cool.
savbh: It’s more of an everyone does this - you do that situation. I’m intrigued
pregnancccctytestifu: Mmmm it’s more of most people do it. Or just the people that you’ve seen and it’s that way or no way. But oh well, if that’s what your way of doing it by all means you do that however I’m feeling my way was fine so I’ll do that happily xoxo 💞
| 17 | 92.647059 | |
1655620270 | 1655623152 | t3_vfp0sx | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by laughing at a dating app message sent to a female co-worker
[deleted]
ArmadilloDays: So, no one is thinking that sharing dating app responses at work is a bad idea all the way around?
[deleted]: Well if they weren't, they are now. This has somehow gone thru the building! Fancy that lol
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1655620385 | 1655655981 | t3_vfp1qt | t5_2to41 | 7 | JohnFortnitesRealDad: TIFU by apparently having extremely high pain tolerance
Writing this a couple hours later
if I'm being honest, I'm pretty unfit. I'm not fat, in fact I'm pretty skinny, but I'm a bit understaffed in the muscle department. This means when I work out I tend to get tired rather quickly.
So considering that, I was running laps today. I've been upping the intensity of my workouts recently, and as a result I end up getting "stitches" when I run longer distances. I was doing a run today and got a stitch like usual, and brushed it off.
But it didn't go away. I kept running, assuming it would go away, but it didn't. Eventually I ended up sitting down and checking out the problem.
Yeahh, so turns out I had an open wound-
My shirt was black so I didn't even notice the blood at first, but there was definitely a two-or-three inch long gash through my side.
I still haven't figured out where the cut came from. Got some bandages on it though. It's not that deep and it probably won't scar, and bled surprisingly little. Also doesn't really hurt all that much. Pretty big though.
Gonna work on figuring out how the hell I got a cut like this. Let's hope my so-called stitch doesn't need stitches.
TL;DR had a large gash in my side and dismissed it as a cramp. Still haven't figured out where it came from.
Medicalhuman: I would try really hard to keep it clean and if you see any signs of infection go to a doctor ASAP
JohnFortnitesRealDad: I went to a doctor, should be fine just need some antibiotics. :)
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1655623214 | 1655675289 | t3_vfppw1 | t5_2to41 | 50 | call_me_Liz_bitch: TIFU by screaming bloody murder at a girl who was wearing long, fake eyelashes
So to preface this whole thing I must say; I have an extreme fear of centipedes. I had a really rough experience that involved a prank done on me by my older brothers with centipedes—which I don't even want to explain else I get the freaks again—when I was but a wee child. Hence, why I've never liked centipedes since. Only close friends and relatives know I have this phobia but, outside of this circle, no one knows about it. Tbf, you don't just go around starting conversations about your deeply traumatizing fears to random people, so I don't blame my colleagues/acquaintances for not knowing.
Now here comes my current situation. My (M) friend, we'll call 'Jay', recently got a girlfriend who we'll call 'Rose'. Now, I've heard a bit about Rose through other friends in our friend group who met her and I've recently only talked to her on discord and from what I've gathered, she seems to have very low self-esteem. This, I thought, was a shame because from our conversations I got the impression that she was a very sweet and endearing girl. I have never seen her in person up to this point and Jay doesn't really like taking pictures in general so there was no way of seeing what she looked like irl. Cut to earlier this evening, to this get-together hosted at one of my friend's. I arrive at friend's house, other pals start arriving, we chill and chat waiting for the rest of our friend group to stroll in. I learn that Rose is coming to the party along with Jay and I thought, "Cool! I get to meet Rose for the first time!"
I wait patiently for a bit. The door bell rings. A friend stands up to open the door for the newcomer. We hear the door open. There's the usual "Hey man!!" greeting, but there's a new voice that is somewhat familiar. Then I hear "You must be Rose!" and I get excited. I stand up, and join the others to go greet the new girl.
I turn the corner, and I see Rose's face for the first time, but I stop dead in my tracks when I saw her face. I felt the color drain from my face the moment I saw her. Now, her face wasn't terrible by any means. Looking back, I think she has a decent face! The problem was her makeup—particularly her eye makeup—had me screaming bloody murder and nearly falling on my ass. She had these fake long eyelashes, and her eye shadow was a mix of gold and brown. I'm sure it did look amazing, but due to the lighting and the angle from which I was standing at, it looked like she had centipedes for eyes. It triggered the hell out of my phobia, and I started screaming and panicking like there's no tomorrow. Rose was of course understandably shaken and hurt by my reaction. Poor girl must have thought she appeared utterly disgusting even after all the effort she put into herself. After trying to calm myself down (and failing miserably), I try to explain that I thought I saw centipedes on her face which, I realize now, my wording of that explanation only made things worse. I said something along the lines of "Your eyes look like a centipede to me,".
My friends explained to her about my phobia of centipedes, and I started apologizing profusely for screaming at her like that. She didn't look convinced however, and I don't think it helped that throughout the rest of the party I couldn't even look at her face properly because her makeup STILL reminded me of centipedes. I felt bad, I still do. And now I'm laying here after sending her texts that her makeup was great and apologizing for the umpteenth time. She has only replied with short, curt texts and I feel even more like a terrible human being. I fear that I might have taken a hit at her already low-self esteem. I truly feel like the worst scum on the earth. Curse my brothers and curse this stupid phobia.
TL;DR Tifu by screaming at a girl and telling her the reason for my outburst was that her eye makeup looked like centipedes to me.
sparrowbirb: Oh no, the poor woman! I would only suggest trying to tell her that you have some weird deep trauma regarding centipedes, and that from the poor lighting at the time and your angle to her and first glance, that it reminded you briefly of your trauma. Hopefully she’ll understand! I do think you need to get some therapy for this sort of thing, to work through it, as going to any bar or show will likely expose you to such things again. Or, trying to dampen down that trauma response!
Hats off to you, hope things go well!
call_me_Liz_bitch: Yeah, I texted her along with my apologies last night hoping that she wouldn't think my reaction was her fault! I've heard from a friend earlier that Jay had also talked to her about my trauma more clearly, though nothing else.
And ah, therapy eh? I didn't think I could go to a therapist for something like this. I'll look into it (if I can afford it). I don't even like going out to clubs or public spaces, only to spaces where there are close friends so I didn't think I would encounter something like this but I should probably be more careful.
Thank you though! I'll try to find ways to help avoid things like these!
sparrowbirb: Anywhere you’ll find women, you’re very likely to find false eyelashes of varying degrees of length. Very important that you don’t lose your shit on these people.
| 4 | 12.5 | |
1655626357 | 1655627189 | t3_vfqfth | t5_2to41 | 0 | wurmy69: TIFU with F/rtacles everywhere
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Silansi: Dude, just say fart.
mercerhackett: maybe some people can't fucking say fart. did you even think of that?
| 3 | 0 | |
1655626675 | 1655634186 | t3_vfqidf | t5_2to41 | 41 | Deathofgotham: TIFU riding a shopping trolley
Wasn't today it was like 16 years ago but people seem to enjoy this story so thought I'd share
I was working part-time for Tesco Express (a smaller version of the supermarket in the UK) at the age of 16 and we were having a pretty chilled Sunday shift.
Being an Express store we only had 4 trolleys (shopping carts) and we used one to collect up all the items dumped by customers and then returned it outside again.
I had just put all the products back on the shelf and was walking the trolley to the front of the shop when I thought:
"the ailse is empty, I'm gonna lean on the trolley and push and ride it down the ailse for fun"
Yeah that's not how the weight balance of the trolley works...
I pushed hard and leaned on the handle, this moved me forward about an inch before the front 2 wheels lifted and the force of my push threw me to the floor as I literally catapulted the trolley vertically down the ailse, just missing a member of staff who screamed in terror, and into a stand of greeting cards which was subsequently demolished.
I had to spend the next 10 minutes picking up hundreds of cards and trying to rebuild the flimsy cardboard stand so we actually had a way of displaying the cards.
Surprisingly didn't get in any trouble.
Tl;dr tried to ride a shopping trolley, ended up throwing it across my store
helga_von_schnitzel: I did that with a dolley (small 4-wheeled plateaus). Used it as a skateboard. Let's just say that some products were unavailable for a few days
___Phreak___: Smashing
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1655632240 | 1655637038 | t3_vfrqo7 | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a "mini stroke" and ending my relationship with my fiancée
I'm on my phone, sorry for typos and formatting errors. This may be long.
About 15 years ago I had a transient ischemic attack (TIA), aka a "mini stroke." I spent several days in the hospital.
Last Tuesday (June 14th) I had a migraine. A really horrible one. That night I was talking to my fiancée and I went off the rails. She had gone out with some girls from work for drinks. I will be the first to admit I am insecure because of past relationships, and I know she can do much better than me. But I also trust her with every ounce of my being and know our relationship is stronger than anything else in the world.
Tuesday night we talked for awhile and eventually I started accusing her of not going out with girls, but with guys from work (as if going out with the other gender that she works with means anything other than she went out with people she works with... I don't know, my brain was not in the right place). I don't remember Tuesday night, Wednesday, or most of Thursday. I just know Tuesday I was a dick to her. I called her a whore repeatedly and said she should just admit she went out with guys, instead of lying and saying she went out with the girls. The entire time, the back of my mind was telling me to shut up and stop acting like I was. But I couldn't control my mouth. I knew what I was saying was complete BS but I couldn't stop and I didn't know why. Eventually she just hung up on me.
The next day, Wednesday, my headache was out of hand and I honestly couldn't remember the day before. Any of it - including talking to her, other than remembering I was a jackass and needed to apologize but I didn't know what I'd said or what to apologize for... just that I fucked up and needed to tell her so. But my head was so bad I couldn't remember how to use my phone.
Thursday, I was cognizant enough to know I needed to see my doctor. I went to him, he had me get a CT (I can't get an MRI because I have an implanted medical device). The CT showed a partially blocked blood vessel in my head, they thought it was a blood clot. I don't remember if it was a vein or artery - Tuesday through Thursday is a blur and hazy and I don't remember much of any of it so I am just trying to remember what I can bit it's a whirlwind. So he sent me to the ER. But before I left, they gave me a bunch of aspirin and a couple of shots, I think one was a blood thinner and the other an anti-coagulant, but that is honestly just what I assume now. At the time I just wanted my head to go back to normal. And they said these should help.
At the ER they did a CT and there was "nothing remarkable." So whatever they did between my doc and the ER, things got fixed. And by the time I got to the ER my head hurt like crazy but I didn't feel out of my mind like before. They wanted to admit me for observation and I told them hell no, I'm going home (I don't know if that is because I'm hard headed or because I was still pretty much out of my gourd).
Yesterday (Friday) I got a hold of my fiancée to apologize for Tuesday. She told me what I had said and how I had acted and said she will never be with me again because of it. I tried to tell her I was sorry and I don't want to blame my ridiculous situation for it and please listen, especially since I have tried so hard to be there for her no matter what, and I just needed some faith. She said I was making up a bizarre ridiculous excuse for how I'd acted and said she'll **never** be with me again.
Tl;dr: I had a mental breakdown and my fiancée didn't believe it so left me because of it. I am crushed. I tightthis relationship was the end all, be all and now I am lost, pretty much permanently.
battletoasta: Are you good now OP?
[deleted]: No. Not even close. I'm devestasted, to be honest.
battletoasta: I’m sorry OP. I wish there was something a random internet stranger could do.
I hope your health improves and you’re able to come out of this a stronger person. Best of luck.
[deleted]: Thank you. It really helps to have someone with no dog in the fight from a "rando" on the net, but it helps give me perspective and I greatly appreciate it.
| 5 | 8.4 | |
1655634698 | 1655663585 | t3_vfsbbc | t5_2to41 | 3,397 | robertthomsonanim: TIFU by alienating a group of people by telling them what I do for a living
It was my first day travelling around Spain and I went to the kitchen to meet some new people in the Hostel I'm staying in. I don't find meeting new people the easiest thing but I try really hard to be nice and funny and usually do ok. I was getting along great with a group of about 8 people, even cracked some jokes which landed really well. A couple of these guys were employed by the hostel to take groups out drinking **every single night** and I could sense their fatigue at being in this crowd, so I was making an extra effort to make interesting conversation with them.
Then someone asked what I do for a living, and I told them "I'm an Animator!". I got the reaction that I usually get (very positive). My job usually helps as an ice-breaker because people are so interested in what I do, and the guys in charge of taking us out even revealed that they were animators as well! Then someone asked me "where are you an Animator?". Slightly odd phrasing I thought, but they were Spanish after all, English isn't their first language. I told them I was an Animator on Kid's TV shows in the UK, pre-school (Kindergarten) shows mainly.
When I revealed this the mood in the room went suddenly cold, like I had just said something really awkward. Stone silence. Everyone suddenly looked away, and started having different conversations. The guys in charge said "Oh, that kind of Animator. We thought you were an Animator like us." And then they looked at each other as if hoping that the other would think of something to say or change the topic.
I was so confused. I thought "I know animating for kid's telly isn't the coolest kind of Animation job out there, but I didn't think it was considered THAT lame. Maybe it's looked down on here in Spain?"
After that I found it really hard to strike up a conversation with anyone, everyone seemed like they didn't want to talk to me, I thought maybe they were all just socially awkward and I hadn't realised earlier? Maybe I'm more socially awkward than I realise? After all I hadn't hung out with anyone for a little while since most of my friends are all over the world right now. This thought stuck with me and I ended up getting really nervous and actually started being much more self-conscious and socially awkward than I usually am.
When we got to the second bar of the night I was really not having fun, but before I left I decided to ask the other animators: "Are children's TV animators really looked down on here in Spain?" and they told me it wasn't something that they'd ever heard of someone doing - "maybe people assume you're a bit odd for choosing that career". I said "Come on, it's not that strange, what kind of animation do you do?" And one of them said "You know, we take people out, get them drunk, get them home or whatever".
I stared at him for at least 5 seconds trying to work this out. He definitely hadn't misheard me. I said "Does animator mean something different here?"
"No, it's like, you know.. entertaining people, making them happy, getting them drunk"
It turns out in Spain "Animator" or "Animador" means "Entertainer" and these other "Animators" thought that me saying I was an animator on kid's TV meant I was Barney the Purple Dinosaur or some very happy, smiley, over-the-top jester for toddlers. I even had to explain by miming and sketching in the air and saying "Disney! Pixar! Hand drawn! Cartoons!" before they finally got it. And these guys spoke good English. I asked them what their term for that in Spanish was and after considering for a few seconds they said "Animator, I guess...". "Computer animator" I discovered after more questioning, would have been the only way they would have understood me without question.
After they realised their misunderstanding they were all suddenly bubbly and enthusiastic and full of questions about my job. Unfortunately I was exhausted by being a social-pariah all night and to be honest, thought that even if I had been a children's entertainer their attitude was totally unfair, like I a clique of cool kids at a high-school shunning the kid who likes magic.
So I left.
TL;DR: I am a 2D hand-drawn animator for kid's TV and tried to make friends in Spain with this fact. In Spain Kid's Animator mean's something closer to a birthday clown or Barney the Purple Dinosaur and I got shunned for a whole night due to the language barrier.
RudeSprinkles1240: It seems pretty rude to judge a person for being a children's entertainer, especially when they're basically paid escorts.
nihi1zer0: I think they thought you were getting children drunk.
robertthomsonanim: He said he thought I meant an "Animator" for children on TV (the guy I questioned at the end). Don't know about the others. I don't think they assumed I was getting toddlers drunk as a career... (who would assume that?)
Gwtheyrn: People start drinking alcohol in Europe as early as 9-10 years old in some places.
Knut79: Stop pulling factoids out of your behind.
Dimetrip: They aren't wrong it's just out of context. In France, Germany and many other European countries it is quite normal for a kid to have a little drink usually with their parents. I had my first few sips of wine when I was 12. But it's not starting drinking it's just having a little taste.
Knut79: I'd argue the same or worse is true for both redneck American and the upper class.
gwaydms: My mother was raised Polish Catholic. After she made her First Communion at 6, her parents served her a small glass of wine with Sunday dinner.
| 9 | 377.444444 | |
1655637900 | 1655638421 | t3_vft3og | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a sneaky wank and sneezing cum.
[deleted]
Bram157: So you walked around for a few hours with a cum covered shirt?
Ok_Stomach1171: I didn’t walk.
Bram157: So you sat around for a few hours with a cum covered shirt?
Ok_Stomach1171: It’s elementary Watson.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1655638206 | 1655687864 | t3_vft6hl | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting high and clicking on my ex's Spotify profile
[deleted]
Tsubodai86: That's a gut punch for sure. Although maybe she was just masturbating, who knows. Best to remain agnostic and make space. If you do reconnect it'll be more stable if things are less emotionally charged.
ghagnastiac: It's logically possible that she was just listening to this for some other reason (albeit for what seemed to be a very long time if it's only masturbating), but this is also two days after ghosting me, so I doubt these are unrelated
Falsus: Well she might have left the song playing while doing the post flick clean up. Or her new guy got mad stamina and can bonk for ages.
ghagnastiac: Fair enough, but do people really listen to sex music while masturbating? Is this common? I can't imagine
Falsus: I have done it on more than a few occasions.
| 6 | 18.833333 | |
1655638926 | 1655671955 | t3_vftcwd | t5_2to41 | 15,374 | [deleted]: TIFU by punching my racist BIL into the hospital and refusing to paying the bill.
Obligatory 'did not happen today, but a few days ago' and 'throwaway account'.
(also.. i don't often use reddit, so bear with me :)
Bit of backstory: I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (28F) for a few years now and between just the two of us, everything is perfectly fine. No issues 95% of the time. The only problem that we do have is her immediate family (parents, siblings). I'm white and originally Dutch, she's originally Japanese. Between us we don't care, but her family does. Especially at first her family was against her dating 'a white boy'. She ignored them, and for the most part so did I.
Over the few years her father has started to warm up to me slowly, but both her mother and brother still dislike me an awful lot. The mom just gives me the silent treatment most of the time, but her brother is sometimes downright racist towards me, my family (he never met them) and culture.
Now to the actual event: A couple of days ago we were at the In Law's place for dinner in an attempt (nr 100 it feels like) to find some mutual respect. DIL was fine with it and talked to me... MIL was ignoring me half the time... and BIL gave me angry stares. After a while he started to go off on a racist tirade against me and 'all you white people' and i had enough of it. I stood up for myself, and my gf backed me up. Eventually BIL stood up and walked up to me and gf... in a reflex i stood up as well. After some insults in Japanese (i'm learning the language but no idea what he said), my gf told him to fuck off.
He then slapped her in her face and spat in mine. He didn't slap her hard, but hard enough to be audible.
Now, i am at least a full head taller than him and almost twice as broad, so when I punched him in the face, he was immediately knocked out. I left with my girlfriend in tow. I was shaking and couldn't drive so she drove us home, while fully assuring me she's on my side.
Yesterday i recieved a message from the IL's and they now demand i pay the hospital bill since i apparently fractured his cheekbone. I have no intention to pay it and when my gf read it she also was like 'fuck that.'
I'm not sure what to do and i feel like shit now, especially since i was starting to actually get along well with her father. That progress seems to be undone now.
​
**TL;DR I one-punched my racist BIL over dinner after he was especially racist and assaulted my gf. Now the IL's expect me to pay the hospital bill. GF is on my side though.**
EDIT/UPDATE: Thanks for the support folks. I didn't expect it to blow up like this.
GF and I have talked about it and also contacted the IL's with the request to sit down and talk about this whole thing. We heard that both her parents were shocked at how far this had apparently escalated and agreed that we should sit down and talk this out. Neither side wants to involve any kind of authority, so that is good to hear. We do still cover our bases and we haven't made any promises, but I'm somewhat optimistic at this. This is the first time they actively want to talk to me, especially the MIL. We'll see how it goes.
Also: I know they're not In Laws technically, but its easier to write MIL/BIL rather than 'girlfriend's mother or girlfriend's brother' :)
goldfinnches: he was wrong but he wasn’t racist to you, you can’t be racist to white people, and this sounds like some orientalist fantasy you’ve invented to post online
DaisyInc: OP never specified which country or culture this took place in. How ironic that you assume Westernized beliefs are the default and "most appropriate" sociological lens through which all parties should interpret the situation through.
You are essentially othering, excluding and erasing the culture and lived experience of millions of people across the non-Western world where whiteness (or anything straying from racial homogeny really) is in fact not revered or considered desirable.
What a privileged and myopic viewpoint to try and force your Western interpretations onto people outside your culture and actually get smug as if you are doing them a favor.
goldfinnches: idc lol it sounds like smth a white man w an asian fetish and hero complex would post but go off ig
DaisyInc: You "don't care" about what? My point stands regardless of the authenticity of OP's account. Millions of people in the non-Western world do not adhere to your privileged and Westernized view of race relations and you are spitting on their culture and experiences in pretending those non-Westetnized perspectives don't exist and aren't worth considering.
goldfinnches: idc ab your multiple paragraphs this is a white man w an asian fetish creating a false orientalist fantasy for online clout
DaisyInc: > your multiple paragraphs
One. The comment you replied to is one paragraph.
It's for the best that you made that mistake really; just another entry in the long list of ways you are disconnected from truth and reality.
Good for OP if he made up this story for online clout. At least he succeeded in his goal. You're spending more time and energy on OP's thread than him and can't even get meaningless, easy to obtain "clout", much less a single shred of respect for your impotent ideas.
goldfinnches: white people sure do love to talk huh
DaisyInc: I don't know... Do they?
Go ahead and tell the class what you think white people like to do.
goldfinnches: to talk. and play victim too.
DaisyInc: And when unpleasant people like you air their ill-educated viewpoints against their entire race in public to near universal contempt from all sides... It makes it easier and easier for those kinds of white people to play the victim.
So congrats, people like you existing are a massive boost for those kinds of white people to continue getting their way.
goldfinnches: your entire argument is “white people CAN experience racism actually” ignoring that this post is written like a textbook orientalist fantasy.
also they can’t experience racism
DaisyInc: I thought you "dc lol" about my paragraphs? How would you even know what my "entire argument" is when you claimed not to have read them?
goldfinnches: i did read them, i just don’t care lol
DaisyInc: I truly feel sorry for you. You spend more time on and reply quicker to things you "dc lol" about than most people do on things that they actually love to do. How sad.
goldfinnches: i was in between shifts and a bit bored babe don’t flatter yourself i still dc
DaisyInc: - You characterizing people responding to your IMPERSONAL points as "flattering themselves" is a Freudian slip, giving away that you in fact do care about these dozens of losing arguments you are putting out there. Each one is like a little piece of your PERSONAL ideals and vulnerabilities getting shot down.
- Most people chat with their family, friends or even colleagues while between shifts. But it isn't surprising that you do not have those options available to you. Reverting to vapid, infantile and prickly language like "babe" and "idc lol" when unable to carry a conversation reveals either minimal meaningful relationships or most relationships fraught with cattiness, inauthenticity and lack of genuine affection.
- Why do you keep repeating "dc lol"? I don't think anyone has ever striven for you to care or paid attention to what you DO care about.
goldfinnches: ok stay mad babes
DaisyInc: Whatever I do next, it'll not be on account of your suggestion. You never succeeded in convincing anyone of anything in your life.
goldfinnches: i’m not trying to convince you of anything lmao open a book or smth
DaisyInc: Of course you aren't. Why would you try and do something you are incapable of?
| 21 | 732.095238 | |
1655641993 | 1655736100 | t3_vfu7iq | t5_2to41 | 408 | ClydeinLimbo: TIFU by making my neighbour think I’m a war veteran with PTSD
This happened this morning.
My neighbour is currently remodelling his back garden and so wakes up at stupid o’clock, grabs his loudest power tool and takes to making as much noise as possible.
Since the recent outbreak of war related news media I have been having nightmares about being in the middle of armed combat. I wake up abruptly with that familiar “oh god it wasn’t real” feeling maybe twice a week. I must stress I am not a war veteran, I’ve just seen too many news articles I guess.
This morning I woke up from one of those nightmares to the noise of a hammer drill and seeing as it’s Sunday I immediately jumped up, half asleep and quite angry. I went downstairs and without shouting said to my neighbour “come on, you made me have another nightmare about the war…” (Something similar to that, I was very sleepy still and it feels like a blur)
I am British and live in Germany quite close to the largest American army base so I’m sure this probably made him put things together and make the wrong assumptions.
About half an hour ago my doorbell rang and my neighbour was standing there, kind of sheepish and not talking. He looked up at me and apologised as if he were about to cry, waving his arms about like he had more to say but didn’t. I apologised back to him and reminded him that it’s Sunday and the rules in Germany as he should know state no noise pollution on Sundays. He then said “I didn’t know you went through shit in the war and I didn’t know you still suffered from it I’m sorry.” Still waving his arms about and slapping his thighs nervously. I put him out his misery and shot him. (Joking) I corrected him and said I just have bad nightmares and it’s nothing to do with any past experiences. I laughed, he didn’t. We stood there for a bit and I told him to have a nice day.
TL:DR I told my neighbour his powertools woke me from a nightmare about war and he assumed I was a war veteran so apologised profusely.
algerbanan: lmao that's the kind of post i want to see her instead of all the TIFU sex sex sex
NukeOfGames: Ikr, its kinda depressing. Seems all people can think about is sex.
GeneralChillMen: You know what sounds good right now? The sex
Impossible-End-9678: Lol
| 5 | 81.6 | |
1655645561 | 1655648760 | t3_vfvabg | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Tifu by sending the wrong links to my students
[removed]
anishinaabeikwe: Why not just be honest and tell them what you told us. Seems like a harmless mistake, no one is perfect🤷🏻♀️
ColorsOfTheCurrents: Honesty being the best policy.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1655667356 | 1655685303 | t3_vfvswk | t5_2to41 | 20 | Mindless-Curve-8956: Did I ask for your opinion on my piercings? No. If you don’t like them you don’t like them, I enjoy my body and my piercings AND tattoos. I’m not here to please the dainty standards men have for women.
I enjoy my piercings and the way they look. End of story.
ADVENTURE-_63: THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU COME ON HERE AND TELL EVERYONE YOUR AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITH A TORN TITTY?
Need some attention? Do you enjoy the drama? What the fuck do you expect?
AvailableTell2851: They just wanted to tell their story. Not to flex that they have nipple piercing. If you don’t like it then that’s your problem
ADVENTURE-_63: I don’t care either way I just weighed the pros and cons.
AvailableTell2851: What pros and cons? It’s just a story about how her piercings got ripped out of her breasts. You’re literally making this a bigger deal that it is
Mindless-Curve-8956: Honestly, this is a fucking forum about a fuck up. I thought it was a funny story but it fucking turned into this whole slew of comments about “oh WhY WoULD YoU GeT NiPPle PiErCiNgs?!” Like...wtf
ADVENTURE-_63: Hey chill out. When you put it out there do you really think it’s all gonna be pros?
This isn’t Burger King you don’t get it your way.
Mindless-Curve-8956: You didn’t even have any valid argument at all, and nor did you provide any semblance of an argument, as I said, you’re a misogynistic prick that acts like women need to be dainty submissive people. Can’t have it your way either.
ADVENTURE-_63: Please speak for yourself. You don’t know a thing about me just like I don’t know you.
I just made a comment about weighing the pros and the cons. I don’t give a shit what you do. But your titty got ripped because you pierced it and posted it so what’s the moral of your story? I’m not here to argue I just posted the pros and cons. I really think do you have some growing up to do. I’m a 58 father of two daughters and a grandfather of one. Respect start with you and how you feel about yourself then from there it spreads to others I think you need to look inward before you attack me for just laying out the pros and cons.
Mindless-Curve-8956: There was literally no pros, or cons. Where the fuck were they. You didn’t weigh nothing out. I honestly can’t believe this is coming from a 58 year old who tells someone they need to grow up when you’ve got the beliefs you do. You laid absolutely nothing out, your argument is straw, if you don’t know what that means I’ll put it in simple terms, one simple breath can destroy it. I respect my body and treat it like it should be treated. A piercing doesn’t change anything, and it sure as hell doesn’t warrant shitty behaviour from an “adult” like you. I think you need to reflect inwards on YOURSELF, and think about why you automatically jumped the gun and decided to act like a fucking child on a forum where people share stupid stories. And also, for reference it’s a fucking NIPPLE. Not a titty, evidently you’re a 6 year old trapped in a 58 year olds body.
ADVENTURE-_63: In my first comment
Mindless-Curve-8956: You literally asked “what are the advantages/disadvantages” didn’t provide your own opinion on that. Then said my lover can’t enjoy them and I can’t as well, because somehow you fucking know things that I don’t, and then proceeded to make a remark about how women are supposed to be pure and dainty. Your comment was insufficient. Completely unneeded, and provided nothing but a point of view from a 58 year old man who’s got his head up his ass.
ADVENTURE-_63: OK what would you have liked for me to have said???
Mindless-Curve-8956: Maybe don’t assume shit about my personal life or Anyone else’s for that matter. Oh! And yknow, the whole comment about tattoos and piercings fucking up peoples bodies because evidently your societal norms are from the 60’s
ADVENTURE-_63: Did I say anything about tattoos or piercings?
I just asked what do you expect and why the odds
Mindless-Curve-8956: The story is about nipple piercings we are talking about piercings you asked the pros and cons of said piercings and put in your two cents at the end by asking why someone would fuck their body up like that. Maybe you’re lost and forgot what you wrote.
| 16 | 1.25 |
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