start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1656116129 | 1656203273 | t3_vk2br3 | t5_2to41 | 91 | stanleyanne: TIFU for accidentally dialling 911 and prompting the police to search for me
I went strawberry picking with my partner and two young kids today, since it's a holiday in Quebec. We spent an hour in the fields then walked back and hung out in the playground/picnic area. There were tons of people around. I noticed a few police officers who seemed to be wandering around purposefully, looking at their phones. I commented to my partner, musing that maybe there was a lost kid?
At one point I got up from our bench to go tend to my 3-year year old a few metres away. At that point a police officer comes up to me and asks "are you Stanley Anne?". A few possible scenarios ran through my mind as to why they could possibly be looking for me... until they explained that there was an emergency call from my phone 90 minutes earlier. On the call they apparently heard screaming, which worried them. After that they called me 8-10 times, but I was focussed on strawberry picking and had my ringer turned off...so they sent someone (actually 2 cars) to check on me. I was mortified, and apologized many many times. They were nice about it and said they were glad I was ok.
Thinking back, I remember seeing "911" on my phone, but it didn't look like the usual call in progress screen. Plus I was juggling a few other things in that instant so didn't give it much thought. As for the screaming, I'm not sure... it's not usually for the kids to whine or maybe yell on occasion but I don't remember any significant meltdowns that morning. I just hope I didn't divert resources from an actual emergency
TL;DR I unknowingly dialled 911 and caused the police to spend 1.5 hours searching for me on a strawberry picking farm
KatFromRR: Quite an interesting story you’ve got there.
I’m glad the police didn’t mind the incident.
truebrandojay: Sucks that you have to be fearful of their attitudes even when you make a honest human mistake. But good that they made the response positive. Double edged seemingly.
| 3 | 30.333333 | |
1656135465 | 1656145502 | t3_vk7yom | t5_2to41 | 53 | Ill_Criticism_8775: TIFU Stuck my penis in water jet
Stuck my penis in water jet
So today me and my best friend hungout and he has a pool in his apartments so we decided to go swimming it was around day time and we decided to stay til night we started doing tricks, dunking on each other in the pool. Then it started getting cold and we found a warm water jet(the jet was so warm and it was like and 1 inch thick) and i rubbed my chest on it and my face and i thought what if i stuck my dick in here. I than said “what if i stick my meat in here” and my friend said “that would be weird” and i said “ima do it” and i pulled my trunks down and stuck my dick into the jet. (it felt kinda good but not so good cause it was to small) after 30 more minutes we go back to his house and shower and i have to pee, but when i pee it HURTS bad but i’m starting to feel better.
TL;DR
stuck my dick in a water jet and now it hurts to pee
bwoodfield: Chlorine in water creates hypochlorous acid, which is corrosive. This is what keeps your pool clean. The water that is coming out of the jet also probably ran through a chlorinator so probably also has a high concentration of the acid... and the strong water flow probably pushed the highly acidic water up your urethra causing a chemical burn.
It's that, or the dirty pool water, which is full of bacteria and micro organisms, has caused a urinary tract infection.
Didn't anyone ever tell you not to stick it into every hole you find.
ImAnActionBirb: But that fire ant hole was so satisfying though…
weissmanhyperion: The hole was 🔥, 🔥 🐜 🍩
| 4 | 13.25 | |
1656139379 | 1656140949 | t3_vk8y8k | t5_2to41 | 133 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost ending up on the morning news…
[deleted]
essprods: Thanks for having the courage to tell us about the experience. That must have been traumatizing. Looks like a couple serial killers. Do you know if they were caught ? What did the police investigation find?
PeripheralEnergy: To make matters worse, the police never came. A few weeks later a couple was murdered on that street. Same place. Same approximate time at night. I think the police thought it was no big deal since they thought it probably was a bunch of teens joking around or something. We ended up feeling like we failed them. I don’t know it just sucks.
MuskyLion: You didn't fail them, man. That's brutal.
PeripheralEnergy: Thanks. I appreciate that.
| 5 | 26.6 | |
1656139315 | 1656516530 | t3_vk8xny | t5_2to41 | 5 | Urmomskindagayngl: Tifu by looking for purple fluffy socks
[for context I have the alternative style and was
looking for purple socks when my mom wasn't
home.]
My mom left to get her nails done and I wanted to
style an outfit with an old hat I found in my closet I
got dressed up and was looking for the other
purple fluffy sock so I went into my moms room
and opened her sock drawer me being the curious
person that I was I would look around through
stuff and see what there is and my biggest fear is
finding a sex toy of my moms my parents are
divorced and we are living in an small apartment
atm So me seeing a weird gold bag in my moms
drawer spiked my interest. I felt it there was two
items inside of it.. so my dumbass opened it and
looked inside and screamed which caused my
sister and her best friend to run it there what I
saw will forever traumatize me item number one a
fucking vibrator item two a dildo what's even
worse they where not clean. And my sister picked
one up literally traumatized.
TL;DR
tifu by being curios and looking in my moms gold bag and found sex toys.
bungee75: I still don't get it what's wrong if parents need some "relaxation". When you do it it's alright, but noooo mother, she is not allowed to ....
Grow up and be happy for her.
Urmomskindagayngl: I don’t find sex toys bad at all but it would traumatize any person finding the moms sex toys 💀
bungee75: Why? I can't understand your position. Is sex really such a taboo topic? That knowing, that your mom still has needs and she has found a way to satisfy them, traumatized you?
Our maybe you think sex is only for young people? Oooh I have some news for you...
Yes I'm an adult with my own kids. And if as teen I'd found something like that at my parents wouldn't cause any trauma to me. Maybe laugh, and recognition they still have it.
Urmomskindagayngl: Bro can you just let it the fuck go I already explained why and you just keep leading it on
bungee75: Sorry I already, forgot about it...
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1656144722 | 1656150763 | t3_vka9dy | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by realising what I had too late
[deleted]
megdias11: You hurt her badly even if you didn't want to. Now you have to face the consequences, because that's what happen. You are too young. Love demands maturity and compromise. Hardly a 14 yo has the capacity of seeing things clear. Hormones, brain in development. Good news is it will pass. You will get over. In your life you're gonna hurt and will be hurt. Get used to. There's no formula for what you're being through. Just live your pain and anxiety. Time will take care of things. I know exactly how you're feeling. It's hard and seem unfair. One day, soon, you will wake up and realize you got over. That's life. It sucks, but we can handle.
bass_guiness: Thanks man I needed to hear that, I guess it's just one of those tough lessons I've gotta learn in life.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1657318074 | 1657326372 | t3_vkaqtz | t5_2to41 | 10 | Restricted_Nuggies: Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I never said or implied I defended child porn, because I do not in any way support it. All I’m saying is that your defense is worthless because the same exact thing you said about Lolis applies to regular porn as well. Anyway, I’m gonna give you a nice little report for saying to off myself. Had you not lied about me, I wouldn’t have done that, but you reap what you sow
Speed_O_Sound: Lol now your trying to say you don’t support it LMAO. Nah fam report me cuz they just gonna see what you said and do something about you. And the fact your having to resort to that means your desperate to get away from the convo 💀 actual fucking goofy
Restricted_Nuggies: As you can clearly see, I’m not trying to get away from a conversation. I’m still here, all I did was report an ass. Besides, there’s nothing in any of my comments saying I support it. I know you’re trying to make me mad, but it ain’t gonna happen, sunshine
Speed_O_Sound: The pedo is mad he got called out now he’s turns report me for telling him off. Cry harder pedo 💀
Restricted_Nuggies: Bruh I’m literally 15, I can’t be a pedo for another three years 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Speed_O_Sound: That’s even worse? Your saying your already a pedo but it doesn’t count since your 15? Minors can still be arrested for sexual harassment LMAOOO
Restricted_Nuggies: Wow, you really are stupid. A pedophile has to be 18 or above because that’s what a pedo is. An adult attracted to a minor. A minor attracted to a minor is not the same thing. I’ve never sexually harassed anyone and anyone who does, child or not, deserves to get shot. But nobody ever mentioned sexual harassment until you did just now. You really need to go back to school because my brother in christ, you’ve got the iq of an infant
Speed_O_Sound: I bet you know a lot about infants huh? Fucking piece of shit trying to convey the conversation away from himself. Mans got the brain of a potato being ran by double A battery’s. you can sexually harrass another minor as a minor dipshit and the fact you think otherwise proves how foul you are.
Restricted_Nuggies: Woah there but, why did you say you can sexually harass a minor if you’re a minor? What are you? A rapist? Do you rape kids just because you’re one?
Speed_O_Sound: Lol the pedo is trying to turn the convo back on me. Sorry bud but I don’t get off to kids. Unlike you I don’t rely on fucking minors to satisfy my sexual desires you sick fuck
| 10 | 1 | |
1656147076 | 1656161240 | t3_vkashi | t5_2to41 | 32 | ThatDrunkenDwarf: TIFU by throwing my puppy
Obligatory happened a couple years ago.
When my girlfriend (now Wife) first moved in together, we always wanted to get a puppy. We went for a Standard Wire-Haired Dachshund who is as cute as can be.
A typical trait we were told and experienced with our puppy himself is that they HATE rain. Detest it.
At about 5 months old, we’d almost cracked toilet training. However, one morning he wouldn’t go outside because it was chucking it down despite crying at the door.
Like normal when he won’t go out, I pick him up and proceed to walk him to the bottom of the garden. He won’t do anything if I place him at the top because he runs straight back to the door.
Now, our garden had a slope right in the centre which goes down to the bottom area. I was carrying him under my arm and suddenly the ground came out from under me. I’d done this walk plenty of times since owning him, so didn’t expect it in the slightest.
I began to fall, puppy under my right arm, onto my right side. You can see where this is going.
In a split-second decision, I decided to drop him instead of carrying him all the way down as he was going to be under me. I hit the floor first and then he did, and let out the most unpleasant scream i’d ever heard.
He raced back to the back door of the house screaming all the way. I began to panic and called the vet saying I was bringing in an emergency. I told my girlfriend what had happened and she had my back the whole time and was there for me when I was basically on the verge of tears thinking I’d almost killed this poor puppy.
We got to the vet who sent him for X-Rays (on the second visit and pleading, don’t ask me about it. That vet got fired 6 months later for negligence). Turns out he’d broken his pelvis in two places.
The total reassurance for me was that they said if I’d have landed on him and NOT let him go, we’d probably not be coming home with a puppy at all.
He healed really quickly, and still gets regular check ups to date and he’s as healthy as ever. So it turned out Ok in the end.
TLDR; Took my puppy out because he wouldn’t go on his own, fell and dropped him breaking his pelvis in two places.
anantnrg: Well that's a real fuckup but I'm glad the little guy is okay
ThatDrunkenDwarf: He’s doing great now. Like nothing ever happened. I’m not a guy to bottle feelings in the first place but I felt so horribly bad when it happened
anantnrg: I think everyone feels that way right?
ThatDrunkenDwarf: You’d hope so. Some horrible bastards in this world
anantnrg: true
| 6 | 5.333333 | |
1656140246 | 1656157330 | t3_vk95rz | t5_2to41 | 21 | Antique-Mirror9258: TIFU by accidentally referring to a stinky room as "the gas chamber" in front of my Jewish friend.
So, first things first, I study in the US and I'm not coming from an English-speaking country. The only reason something like this happened is because I'm an idiot and my English skills have failed me in a bad time.
My roommate is from Israel, his grandparents were Holocaust survivors. We've been staying in the same room for two years. Last week, we entered our dormitory room and there was a distinct smell. It was like someone farted non-stop for 24 hours. We learned later that it was because of a blocked sewer pipe, but that's an unimportant note. So when I feel this smell, I immediately turn to my roommate, and with the intention to say "feels like we're in a gas room" I start a sentence and forget the word "room" so I decide to use the next word I could remember, which was "chamber."
The exact sentence was "Feels like we're in a gas chamber." The look on my roommate's face was priceless, he says he first thought it was a dark joke, but then understood that I fucked up the words. Luckily he knew I'm one of the most anti-fa people, so he didn't get me wrong. But it was f*ing EMBARRASSING!!
TLDR: I accidentally called a room full of human gas a "gas chamber" in front of my Israeli friend whose grandparents are Holocaust survivors.
drunken-black-sheep: Honestly, you’re doing just fine with your English and with your foreign language skills in general! Not being able to remember “room” and coming up with “chamber” to communicate your point is awesome!
Once, I was in a foreign language class and didn’t know how to say “sea lion.” We weren’t allowed to ask in English(my native language) and we had to try to explain the word to the professor, who would eventually give us the word.
I had to get creative. I said(in the foreign language), “I went to the beach this weekend with my friends and we saw a dog that lives in the sea but has no legs. The sea dog was fat and sun tanning.” The professor looked confused so I started clapping my hands and making sea lion noises. It got a lot of laughs. I won’t lie though, I still don’t remember the word for sea lion in that language.
All that being said, I know your story was just a funny experience, but I hope that you continue to have funny experiences like this and are never ashamed of them. It takes the enjoyment out of learning new languages! Take care!
Antique-Mirror9258: I'm going to use that definition for sea lions from now on. That's hilarious! And thank you so much for your kind words. Take care as well ❤️
| 3 | 7 | |
1656150254 | 1656158812 | t3_vkbj4e | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my travel romance i love her
[deleted]
Fearless-Fruit-5048: You can’t lose something that isn’t yours. And besides whatever you would have done wouldn’t have made a difference, she knows how she feels and that wouldn’t have changed if you kept it a secret.
campsitecapitalist: ok then what should i do?
Fearless-Fruit-5048: I told you what you should do. Move on to the next one, plenty of fish in the sea.
campsitecapitalist: how old are you just out of intrest?
Fearless-Fruit-5048: I’m 29, but I don’t get how that’s relevant
campsitecapitalist: u said you are a woman, but i dont see how that is relevent....
jk it is relevent becuase everything is relevent with opinions
Fearless-Fruit-5048: Well if you know and are so sure of what to do, why ask? Go do your thing it obviously has worked so well for you…
| 8 | 4.375 | |
1656151543 | 1656179148 | t3_vkbu0x | t5_2to41 | 14,057 | [deleted]: TIFU telling my gf I screwed my friend
[deleted]
mike_pants: If this is how she's ending a three-year relationship, there has to be something else going on. No one napalms their entire life based on a single drunken sentence.
Capable-Site-301: Exactly. At the very least, she should have waited until OP was sober to ask about it. Or she could have called the mutual friend to ask about it.
Seems extremely rash and illogical how things allegedly played out.
Tanagrabelle: When a person feels their trust was broken, in that moment, they are crushed. I have no idea if that's really what happened with her, but her reaction to believing he had just told her he cheated on her, while laughing about it, is entirely understandable. It was utterly wrong of her to not accept and reach out to everyone to tell them she was wrong. I say again, they could have made a funny story out of it, but nope.
Capable-Site-301: Sorry, no. Still seems incredibly rash and illogical to end a three year relationship over something someone says while they are drunk. At the absolute, very least, you need to wait until they are sober and ask them to confirm what they said.
NoTeslaForMe: Not everyone is Mr. Spock. People have been know to react illogically to admissions of betrayal, especially if they or someone close to them have been betrayed before. The fact that this woman would burn everything to the ground and not even do the bare minimum to correct her mistake, though - that shows that OP's definitely better off with someone else, someone with the barest sense of personal responsibility.
Capable-Site-301: Or, here's a thought: Maybe she could wait to find out the truth before "burning everything to the ground". What harm would it do to her to wait until the next morning to find out more information before going scorched earth on a three year relationship, just in case there was some kind of misunderstanding?
It's a bit like:
Man: (walking in the door) "Love, I cheated tonight....
Girl: (grabs a knife and stabs man in the chest multiple times)
Man: (lying on the ground, slowly bleeding to death) "....at poker. I cheated at poker, and they found out and doused me in beer. I thought it was a funny story." (dies)
TaliesinMerlin: Murdering someone is not remotely like breaking up with them. Breaking up is a reasonable response to infidelity. Impulsive, emotional, yes and yes, but it makes sense.
Capable-Site-301: ....That wasn't the point of my example at all, but ok.
TaliesinMerlin: Then use an example that doesn't exaggerate how unreasonable someone is being in order to show how the ex in the post is being unreasonable.
Capable-Site-301: Why? My example worked perfectly for what I was trying to illustrate.
At least, if you don't intentionally take it the wrong way.
TaliesinMerlin: I'm not intentionally taking it the wrong way. I'm trying to take it constructively but don't see how murder is comparable to breaking up as a kind of overreaction. Breaking up immediately is reasonable sometimes; murder is never reasonable. If you weren't intentionally being obfuscatory, I would expect you to pick a better example or clarify what you mean.
MesoceneLean: Because it’s reactionary. She killed their relationship before finding out any information. How are you not getting this?
TaliesinMerlin: It's not the same kind of reaction. Breaking up because someone says they cheated is a sometimes reasonable reaction. Murder is never a reasonable reaction. Comparing a sometimes reasonable reaction to a never reasonable reaction doesn't show that she's unreasonably reacting. Quite the contrary; it makes it appear that she could have reacted far worse.
ETA. If you want to get at the idea that she shouldn't react to things she hears when he or she is drunk, you would do better picking an example with the same *kind* of reaction. Otherwise the exaggeration overwhelms the comparison and the argument isn't sound.
Capable-Site-301: .....How do you still not get that the fact she stabbed him to death is not the point? Like, at all? Why are fixated on this particular detail while ignoring what the example is trying to show?
TaliesinMerlin: If murder is not the point, then don't include murder in your example. How do you still not get that?
In a comparison, similarity matters. Making up differences capriciously does not help your point but obscures it.
ETA. Just to respond to the last comment, replying on an *ad populum* to support a flawed example is compounding the flaws.
ETA2. Yes. The issue in this case is that the exaggeration overwhelms the absurdity in the original situation. That decenters the comparison from focusing on the original overreaction to focusing on a quite different kind of reaction - violence over nonviolence.
The example would have been better served with a different kind of example or even a different kind of exaggeration. For instance:
"Hey, I totally bumped her in the parking lot. Anyway, I need to get my insurance information and ... wait, where are you going?"
ETA3. English is my first language, and metaphors aren't restricted to English. I understand it's a comparison (not really a metaphor); the issue is that it's a bad comparison, and the poster would have been served better with a less misleading comparison.
Capable-Site-301: No, I'll include it because it's an inconsequential detail, and judging from the downvotes, everyone got it but you.
| 17 | 826.882353 | |
1656160632 | 1656247372 | t3_vke63n | t5_2to41 | 1,786 | NoUse321: TIFU by letting someone find out I bought their onlyfans
I live with 3 people. Our friendship is not typical. We constantly do and say horrible things to each other. So this starts a few years ago. All 3 of my housemates did something to me I couldn’t just forget. I won’t say what they did so this isn’t too long but I vowed that if I ever had a chance I would get revenge. My chance came.
One of my housemates started dating a girl. When we met her she wanted to follow us on instagram. When I looked at her account I realized she had a linktree. I pressed it and saw she had an onlyfans. My friend knew what this meant. He had told us she didn’t have an instagram. So I immediately subscribed.
At first I never actually looked at her posts. I just went to it as proof that I had it. I brought it up a lot. “How’s our girl doing?” If he mentioned something she bought, “your welcome.” One time he asked us for advice because she hadn’t had sex with him in a month, “so you haven’t seen your gf naked in a month? I just saw her last night.” Then I got the ultimate payback.
I got curious and looked through her account. I realized I could pay a one time fee and make a request. So I had her make a video moaning my name while masturbating. She knows me by my middle name but my housemates know I sometimes go by my first depending on who I’m talking too. I was a king. Any insult was immediately followed by the sound of his girl moaning my name. Then I got careless.
I walked in a room and noticed him on the phone and didn’t think anything of it. Another housemate asked me a question I honestly don’t remember what it was but the answer was his girlfriend’s onlyfans account name which was different from her instagram. That is when I realized she was on speakerphone. She heard me and asked what I was talking about. I told her I was giving out an instagram and luckily there is someone on instagram with that name. It only bought me a day.
Today she called me and said she needed to talk to me about something. When I asked what was up she said “I think you know.” My heart dropped. I managed to convince her I’m at work but she’s still going to call me back later today. I’m screwed.
Update: She called me again. Apparently my friend got questioned and snitched on me. She was weirded out by the fact that someone she knew had seen her that way but she was more concerned with her family finding out she was selling nudes. (How they don’t already know considering her linktree is in her instagram bio is beyond me.) I assured her that I didn’t and wouldn’t tell her family. She also asked I end my quest of revenge and I agreed. So definitely the most awkward conversation of my life but not as bad as I was expecting.
TLDR: I let someone find out I subscribed to there onlyfans and now I’m terrified because I’m about to face the consequences of my actions.
FreeMySpeech: Dude what consequences can there be?
She accepts money to masturbate on camera.
You paid her for it.
The free market wins.
If she gives you shit for it, then ask her why make that career choice in the first place if it's an issue for you to be a customer.
There are no consequences for you.
RDAwesome: Whenever I ever see someone ask what's wrong with the world, would you be okay with me showing them this response? It's a great example of how people are too dedicated to the idea of doing what they can get away with, rather than attempting to have empathy for the needs and desires of those around them.
cardcomm: All the OP "got away with" was buying something that was on sale to the general public.
So Freaking What?
RDAwesome: If someone asks you to do something, you're allowed to say no.
If your girlfriend asks you to put the toilet seat up when you're going to pee, you're allowed to say no. If someone's carrying some heavy stuff and they drop something and ask if you can pick it up for them, you're allowed to say no.
The point isn't what you're allowed to do, the point is what you're choosing to do when a person comes to you as a fellow human being and expresses their feelings and asks you to do something. There may be no consequences at all, you're allowed to say no, but that's essentially saying "what I'm getting out of this is more important to me than your feelings." Like, you're allowed to do that, you can get away with that, but it clearly shows a lack of empathy for the needs of people around you
Independent-Sir-729: It's her job lmao. OP paid her to provide a service. OP got content, girl got money.
What are you talking about?
RDAwesome: She's a person he knows personally. She said it made her feel weird, asked him not to tell her family, and asked him to stop using her as a prop for revenge. He paid for a subscription, he got a subscription. She *asked* him, didn't force him, didn't cancel his subscription, didn't make him do anything, *asked* him. That's not a business transaction, that's a human request.
Independent-Sir-729: That has literally nothing to do with this thread (or the original comment you complained about) at all. Absolutely nothing. Are you okay?
RDAwesome: What's the "are you okay?" strategy here? Like, I get that it's meant to be condescending but what about this has made you feel like that's the move? I haven't been rude to you, why are you talking to me like that?
Independent-Sir-729: You're legitimately scaring me. You responded to something with something completely unrelated. That would logically lead to people questioning your cognitive skills. I can literally not phrase this in a nicer way.
RDAwesome: In what way was it unrelated? They said "there are no consequences to you" and I said that it doesn't matter if there are consequences, it's an empathic thing to do. Even if they hadn't said that, which they did, it would be a misunderstanding, so why is that scary to you?
Independent-Sir-729: No consequences to what OP did. As in, they did nothing wrong.
You then tried to twist this and claim that original commenter somehow meant "no consequences no matter what you would've done". Except again, no one said that.
THAT is scary to me, yes. Reading A thing and having your brain turn it into B thing because you need an excuse to be mad at someone is scary.
"it's an empathetic thing to do"
What? What is an empathetic thing to do? What is this mystery thing you're talking about?
RDAwesome: I see where your misunderstanding has occurred here. The commenter posted before the update edit. OP said they were terrified that they would have to face the consequences of their actions in the tl;dr. The commenter said there could be no consequences to the action because they were justified in making the purchases, and if she confronted him about it, he could criticize her choice of career. I was saying that it's irrelevant if there are consequences because if someone asks you to do something, you should be empathic to their request. Hopefully you're less scared now.
Independent-Sir-729: The original comment ONLY mentioned OP paying for content. So whether it was before or after the update is irrelevant - the contents of the update weren't even mentioned, except, ironically, by you. OC asked what consequences there can be to OP paying her to make content. That's it.
Your replies were not about that. You're talking about something else entirely, but you're still not letting me know what exactly that is. What request?
"if someone asks you to do something-"
She didn't ask him not to watch her videos. She asked him not to tell her family. Again, IF that is what you were talking about, it has nothing to do with the conversation (and it's in the update as well).
So, it seems I haven't misunderstood anything... and I still find you scary.
RDAwesome: Respectfully, I disagree, I think that you have misunderstood, both in relevance and content. It being before the update is absolutely pertinent. The commenter said that there are no consequences, but I'm saying that it doesn't matter if there are consequences or not.
If someone asks you to do something, regardless of what the request is, because what they're asking is also irrelevant, then being a decent and empathic person means considering that request on a human level, not just considering whether you can keep doing it without consequences.
You gotta remember, business, culture, all of this stuff is just built as a way for us to relate to each other. At the end of the day, we're people, we gotta treat each other like people.
But hey, kudos to you for facing your fears and spending so much time with someone so scary.
Independent-Sir-729: No, it being before the update literally can not make a difference if the ONLY thing the original commenter mentioned was posted before the update lol.
Again, I do not know what request you are talking about. I am BEGGING you to clarify what you are talking about.
"If someone asks you to do something"
WHO. Asked. WHO. To do. WHAT.
PLEASE answer.
RDAwesome: I'm not sure why you're so fixated on what the request is, that doesn't change anything. The original commenter said that OP did not have to do anything because there were no consequences. The point is that there being consequences also does not change anything. At the time of the original comment, we did not know what she would request, nor did we know what the consequences would be. The original commenter said that there could be no consequences, so the onus was on her ("if she gives you shit for it, then ask her why make that career choice in the first place if it's an issue for you to be a customer.")
My point is that, if she "gives him shit for it," as in asks him to change his behavior or challenges his behavior, it's no longer a business transaction, but a personal one. The request is in whatever way she "gives him shit for it." It's undefined, but it's also irrelevant what the request is.
Since we have the update, we can now say, with the wisdom of hindsight, that the request ended up being "don't tell my family and also stop using me for revenge." But again, this request was as of yet undefined by the original post. But, based on original commenter, the OP had no obligation to agree to because there could be no consequences to this. And this is true, the OP doesn't have to agree to anything based on the original terms of their business relationship. However, my point is that they shouldn't dismiss the request to change his behavior or the challenge to his behavior (being "given shit for it") just because they're not required by their business relationship to do so. They should have empathy for the request and consider that, regardless of if they have to or not. More simply, you shouldn't not do something just because you don't have to.
In the end, OP displayed empathy and did follow the request. But again, at the time of the initial comment, we didn't have that information, and even if we had, it's a conversation about whether he should or should not do it based on whether he has to or not.
Hopefully this provides more clarity.
Independent-Sir-729: Yes, it does? Because there was literally no request? Lmao what
We did know what the consequences would be - nothing, because OP did nothing wrong. There are LOGICALLY no consequences to purchasing something that was available for purchase to the general public. Oh my god
"if she gives him shit for it, as in asks him to change his behavior-"
That is... not what the expression means???
"But, based on original commenter, the OP had no obligation to agree because there could be no consequences to this"
No. Again, the original comment ONLY mentions what OP did before the update - pay for videos. There is absolutely NO *mention* of any potential requests in the original comment. None.
RDAwesome: I dunno what to tell you. I think your interpretation is interesting, though that doesn't seem like the obvious read to me. It feels like we're talking in circles here, I'm sure you're making an effort to understand me just like I've been trying to understand you, but I regret that we couldn't find that common language to connect us. I especially regret that I've been so offensive to you, and even more so for the fact that I don't really know what I did that was so offensive. Hopefully you can take my heartfelt apology and we can pass like two ships in the night.
| 19 | 94 | |
1656158858 | 1656162286 | t3_vkdodh | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: Tifu by not using medication according to Doc’a prescription
[deleted]
badhoyt: Why go to a doctor, if you are not going to follow his directions?
toronto105: Because with a little bit of googling you to can become a doctor
mino-nimo: And to build up to our PhD’s (pretty harsh delusions).
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1656165628 | 1656180464 | t3_vkfodh | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Tifu by wearing shoelifts
[removed]
itsgreekpete: As a fellow 5'6'er you just need confidence dude. I've pulled taller girls, girls our height, shorter. Own it. A short king is still a king friend.
tr14l: Most girls don't care if you come with the right attitude. The ones that do are shitty anyway. Bad people, bad manners, bad in bed. Actually, it's a great way to filter out the ones that will waste your time.
itsgreekpete: This 110%
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1656165413 | 1656178505 | t3_vkflq0 | t5_2to41 | 10 | EmilytheDreamer: tifu by adding my teacher in the cheating group
tifu by adding my teacher in the cheating group
So today I was enjoying the fact that my geography exam was online and I decided to make a group chat so that my friends and I could cheat. I made this perfect group and I named it *geography cheating group*. I started adding my contacts to the group and guess who I added first? My geography teacher. So I'm nervous, I immediately remove her from the group but hey its WhatsApp! Turns out even if you remove a person from a group they can still take their time to see what they were removed from.
TLDR:made a group for cheating, ended up adding my teacher
Update: so here I am , pretending everything is fine and the moment every one in the class has successfully achieved the full mark, I am deeply thankful for the half mark she gave me
P3naught: You could probably just put the same effort into actually learning the material rather than cheating.
Why waste the time cheating so that you end up not knowing anything later on when you need it?
EmilytheDreamer: I guess you have no idea what the whole point of cheating is.
P3naught: Well yeah, cheating doesn't help you in the end if you actually need to know the information
If you have a closed book assessment or need that knowledge in real life settings then you're in a worse place than if you'd have just put the same effort into learning the material.
EmilytheDreamer: I'm pretty sure more than half of the things I learn in highschool are never gonna be useful in my future life. Including geography ^_^
P3naught: Ah you're in highschool, that explains a lot
Honestly, you're right that a lot of what you learn won't be relevant after highshool but what is relevant is forming good study habits like planning for assessments and giving yourself enough time to go through the material, it also helps to figure out your leaning style.
If you plan on going on to further study, it's probably best to get into the habit of studying now but if not then cheat to your hearts content
EmilytheDreamer: >Ah you're in highschool, that explains a lot
For instance?
P3naught: If you were in uni it would be higher stakes if you didn't know the material
Also for some uni courses, not understanding key concepts can have some pretty shitty outcomes if you end up at placement or in a job that requires it. Things like yourself and/or others getting hurt
Also the fact that uni costs so damn much to do, I want every last bit of the value I'm paying for so I study the material provided and make sure I ask lectures follow up questions when I have them.
Cheating in highschool is like cutting the crusts off a sandwich your mum made but cheating in uni is like buying a full roast dinner and just drinking the gravy
EmilytheDreamer: Oh I never thought about it that way. So that's why preparation before uni is so vital.
Thanks for explaining. ♡
P3naught: No worries, keep applying yourself and remember to think beyond just what's going on now
You'll do great if you do
EmilytheDreamer: Thank you. I'll remember that.
| 11 | 0.909091 | |
1656167601 | 1656170509 | t3_vkgb5f | t5_2to41 | 7 | ZealousidealBig7394: TIFU by by gf (16) broke with me (15m) and I can’t stop thinking about her. Need recommendations
We had 8 months of relationship and 1 month back I started noticing that she started hanging out more with her friends than me like how we used to do.
June 7 was her birthday and a week before I said to her to hangout together for her birthday, basically she forgot and we didn’t hangout.
We didn’t see each other like in 3 weeks and we started getting away from each other, I didn’t text her for some day and she didn’t to.
I don’t remember when but we talked about what was happening in the relationship and we ended up better than everything was.
We started talking again and everything was fine from my pov but I was noticing she was different, she didn’t send pictures of her, also she didn’t say I love you back. Before yesterday she sent my hoodie that I gave to her, and I didn’t thought nothing bad because I was saying to her to give me my hoodie back.
Yesterday she broke up with me and I can’t stop thinking about her, I’m always waiting her message even tho I know she’s never going to text me. I want help for things to do to forget her, I still I love her a lot but things didn’t workout.
TL;DR she ended up with me because of lack of communication, and I need some help to forget her.
SaggyBum001: As someone significantly older than I just want to remind you that you're only 15 so you will get over her very quickly. Go back to hanging out with your friends and doing things you enjoy. Even better - try something new. That'll get your mind off her and in time you'll realise that what you thought was love was just a little fling. You're way too young to be getting all broken up about something like this. You'll be in college soon and it'll be a totally different world - a better word. Then one day you'll find the love of your life and hopefully you'll live happily ever after.
ZealousidealBig7394: Thank you so much, I’m trying to do things to distract me, but it’s very hard to stop thinking about her even when I still love her like I used to do the first day. Thanks for the support mate
SaggyBum001: Like they say, time heals all wounds so just give it a few weeks and you'll have moved on.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1656173232 | 1656173454 | t3_vki945 | t5_2to41 | 12 | 4_is_the_best_number: TIFU Letting my garage ruin a girl's middle school life
FUCK Autocorrect I meant grudge.
Today I fucked up By letting my own past grudges ruin a girl's middle school life. Because I was too obsessed with the past.
Context the reason why I had a grudge is during my elementary years I had a lot of negative experience with the female gender. A lot of abuse from higher Graded girls in my school Both physically and mentally. It started in the 2nd and kept going all the way to the 5th the main reason was I went through puberty a lot younger and started going through a very bad ugly duckling faze.This led me to have a pretty big distrust towards anyone that was a female.
Now to how I fucked up. When I entered middle school everything seemed to be completely fine. made friends with basically every male in the grade. But was still distrusting of females. As the year went on more and more people started in noticing that I was a lot more physically mature than others. The boys in my grades saw me as someone that was cool ,for being tall having hairs on my arms all the puberty stuff at such a young age. The girls on the other hand saw me as in their own words A Brown werewolf. I am from Mexican descent So this did not sit well with me.
We eventually received a new student We'll call her Jessica. (not the real name) She was a nice girl I can see that now ,but my paranoia back then made me distrusting of her immediately. She befriended every one In the class. She actually almost broke through my shell. But one day I decided to wear shorter socks the normal. It seems since she was still new she didn't know about my ridiculous amount of growth. She saw my legs And from what I now know was just shock Screamed commenting about my legs hair. I didn't always have my skin exposed do to me liking to long sleeve to cover it up. I saw this as a form of a betrayal. I've had close friends hurt me specifically by choking me out. And make horrible remarks about me. The only way I could ever get laid didn't even know that word means back then. Was if I was SA . And the icing on the cake they said I don't have to worry about because I'm too ugly for anyone to consider it.
This led me to simply starting off of the silent treatment. And doing the bare minimum amount of work if I was ever assigned with her. To later ignoring her existence. What ended up happening to her was that she ended up being outcasted by almost every guy in the school. Due to it being a mostly male school she got a lot hate.She eventually left the school and I'd done nothing of it. There were some experiences I had with her that were strange but I'll get to that later. From what I heard she ended up in a abusive relationship, a severe distrust towards people and having abandonment issues. I was shocked I may not trust females but that doesn't mean I hate them. I was saddened.
Then only recently me and my friends were just talking about our senior year and how we're gonna graduate soon. Then one brought up a topic of Jessica. I didn't really remember much so I just let him continue talking. Turns out in my blind hatred of her. I missed so many things that she did just so she could gain my trust. Not just that 1 friend but others others that I really do trust after after both middle school in high school. Told me stories on how she behind the scenes was my personal cheerleader and I never knew. Always saying good things being nice making my image look better. She never seemed to in their eyes show any hate towards me.They even reminded me of the one time I was obligated to hug her for a class group assignment. That once I left the windows 3rd squealing enjoy and the being so happy that I ended up giving her a hug. The final kick Was when one of her closer friends said that he was pretty sure she fell in love with me And stayed in love for 3 whole years trying to gain my attention.
Now I realized I basically Ignore the innocent girl that generally cared about me ,and possibly even had feelings for me just because of a small grudge I had when I was younger. By that time I have long abandoned the grudge it disappeared slowly but surely. Once I met some people that I trusted that were females.
I've never really felt I've done anything bad in my life that was truly horrible. But after reading my thoughts I realized that might have just screwed over this girl's entire life in middle school and possibly even high school. Last I heard her boyfriend cheated on her and is not letting her leave him. And she refuses to because of the abandonment issues. I fucked up bad.
TLDR I let a grudge From elementary ruin a Innocent girl who actually wanted to be my friend.entire high school middle school life
iluvmonkeys581: Wait, I'm still waiting to hear how your garage ruined her middle school life?😂
leadfoot_mf: Me too
| 3 | 4 | |
1656171902 | 1656208859 | t3_vkhs61 | t5_2to41 | 114 | OllieUnited18: TIFU by making hot sauce
Gonna try and keep this short and sweet because the pain was neither. This actually did happen today although I was delayed by the inability to put sentences together due to.... well you'll see....
I'm a hot sauce enthusiast. Been making my own for a couple years now and consider it a cherished hobby. Decided to start a ferment (most sauces involve 2-4 weeks of brining before they're any good) this morning by chopping up habeneros and scallions. Smells delicious. Looks delicious. Fuck yeah.
I'm usually super careful about contamination (been burned too many times) so I wear gloves and other PPE. Immediately following chopping, my morning coffee hit and I had to pee. Took off my gloves. Went pee.
As I'm shaking it off, I commenced Stage 1 of my awful awful fuck up. I zipped my ballsack. This isn't something I've ever done before and I have no idea how it happened. Doesn't really matter at the end of the day because what happened next eclipsed the short transient pain I felt in that moment.
Stage 2: I went to cradle the crown jewels as an impulse to the zippage. Remember how I said I washed my hands after the peppers? Yeah that's because I fucking didn't and you know exactly where this is going. I turned my nutsack into a bag of fire-roasted peanuts.
Searing. Blinding. Roaring. Heat washing over my ouch pouch. Imagine washing your balls with IcyHot multiple times in a row. Like it got to the point where the pain was shooting up and down my legs and my face was getting warm. About 45 minutes later, it's subsided to a dull ember akin to leaving your seat warmer on too long.
Next time I have to pee during a hot sauce session, I'm just going to piss myself.
TL;DR Chopped peppers. Didn't wash hands. Zipped my scrotum. Capsaicined my sperm germs.
d4m1ty: I feel your pain. I once pepper sprayed myself. I didn't check the VitaMix before I turned it on and it was on the Max Speed switch and that sauce just shot out of every little gap from the lid.
Instead brining your peppers, try roasting them on low heat as a secondary prep method. This is what I do with my Scotch Bonnet sauces and they come out so sweet and fruity. Concentrates the flavor in the peppers a lot.
OllieUnited18: This is a dumb hobby isn't it? In all seriousness, I've tried roasting multiple times and can't get a consistent result (that and I'm notorious for forgetting to open windows and turn the vent on).
Sometimes it tastes as you describe and other times it's like I sucked all flavor out of the fruit. Probably a heat thing?
GaWdLy1: This is a dumb hobby...
BTW, one of my favorite (albeit mild sauces) is a verde sauce that starts with a roasting, and then proceeds to a ferment. Just do it, you'll thank me.
I've never zipped-pepperfucked my nuts before, but I've rubbed my eyes, and my mouth and my nose and the tip of my wang, and I've done it with things as innocuous (but irritating still) as serranos and Jalapenos, all the way straight through the scoville scale and hit up ghost peppers and scorps, habs and reapers.
Such a stupid hobby, but there's nothing quite as delicious as a hotasfuck fermented sauce!
OllieUnited18: What kind of peppers in the Verde do you recommend?....
| 5 | 22.8 | |
1656173538 | 1656281971 | t3_vkicxq | t5_2to41 | 18 | Girthderth: TIFU by doing the thing I said I wouldn't
I recently met a woman at the cafe close to my office. There was a mutual attraction, so I couldn't help but flirt with her. Let's call her Meg.
This continues for a few weeks, until my sister comes to visit me. Upon her arrival we head out for a few drinks after work with some colleagues, after which I was going to take my sister out to a nice restaurant.
I ended up inviting Meg.
Of course, being the creep I am, I also looked her up and found out that we were in fact from the same year in high school in the same/similar suburb part of a city - we both live very far away from that city. During dinner we have a few chats, I disclose my age and where I am from, she proceeds to tell me that she has a SO.
I was fine with being friends. We went out for a second time, just me and her this time. She had a bit too much to drink, the physical attraction was real when she had to go home, but I forced myself to not even give her a hug, so as to hold myself back.
After this instance we went out 4-5 more times, in which I really did become a friend. She even told me that it was nice having a guy friend that doesn't want to have sex with her the whole time. I say I would never want that and I'm happy that we can have a platonic friendship.
For some reason I'm very happy with this new friendship. I start going to the gym every day, also can't really stop thinking about things we can do together.
Some time passes and it's Friday, her Birthday is on Saturday, we also went out on Wednesday. During our outing on Wednesday she tells me more about herself and her past, I suddenly have a change of heart and feel very attracted to her.
This attraction didn't go away by Friday, sorta, kinda want to turn her into my GF at this point.
I had some plans for this day, but I couldn't book things ahead of time as I didn't know what her schedule looked like. Then when I eventually find out I arrange a few things for a sort of pre-birthday celebration. Instead we end up going to a cafe of her choosing where she arrives early. Of course me, being a puppy, goes to meet her there, I was late.
\*I was actually late because I cleaned my apartment and was planning on buying some protection, which I didn't do\*
She didn't drink much this time and opted to go home early, I couldn't convince her to stay and galavant with me.
For some reason this made me very upset, I decided to go to the places on my own and drink a few bottles of wine, then I go to a strip club where I pay for a few hours of services until they close.
Saturday: The day has finally arrived, we meet at a very vibrant area. The whole interaction is me drunk flirting the whole time, saying inappropriate things, with no present, not asking her about her at all. She decided to go home early.
Again I am upset and still drunk, I can't stop thinking about the last few days, I write a poem, but I'm also still drunk so I go to the gym to "sweat" it out. Afterwards I go to a park where I sit for a few hours to think the last few days over. During this instance I realize that I'm being a complete asshole.
She has a SO and here I am trying to blatantly get into her *pants* for the second day in a row on her **birthday**.
I feel ashamed and want to apologize profusely. We should spend less time together in the next few weeks, but will she still even want to be my friend? This whole falling in one-sided love with a friend thing is nasty business.
TL;DR: I flirt with a woman I meet at a cafe, we become friends, but I develop feelings for her and end up being a complete asshole on her birthday. I feel ashamed and want to apologize, but I'm not sure if she'll even want to be friends anymore.
iTanooki: This is not an attack, but have you considered seeing a councilor/therapist?
Girthderth: Nope, not really sure what I can learn there that I cannot learn on my own with the assistance of relationships. Why do you think I should see one?
iTanooki: You can learn to drive by wrecking a bunch of cars, or take a class from a professional. It sounds like you just wrecked your first one. I’d suggest the professional. Yes, you’ll get there on your own, but expect a LOT of wrecked cars in your rear view mirror when you do finally get there.
Girthderth: I'll take the first option. I'm a big believer of learning from ones own experiences. I really struggle with implementing things when people tell me what and how tos.
So far I've made quite a lot of progress by failing and trying again, if I wasn't forced to be the better person for myself then i probably would not have changed much.
I believe that this is why I perform when I am pressured. I also don't really experience any stress or anxiety on the day to day.
givenortake: Therapists help you help yourself. But more importantly, therapists help you *understand* yourself.
I'm very introspective and think I have myself all figured out, and then my therapist drops something I never considered before.
Girthderth: Sound to me like this is something that a best friend can also do and offer.
LegendarySpoon13: A best friend is in no way a mental health professional and cannot give you the support you need. From the sounds of things it seems you significantly struggle socially. Do you have a best friend and have you told them about this situation?
Girthderth: Yes and yes.
I really don't struggle socially. The general person that I come across today is uninteresting. Liking something because it's popular and selling some youtubers words as your own is the norm that I do not wish to subscribe to.
I'll go see a therapist and subjugate myself to the experience to see if it makes an impact in my life.
| 9 | 2 | |
1656174072 | 1656176181 | t3_vkijjz | t5_2to41 | 14 | Team_Putz: TIFU by running on the treadmill at midnight
So last year I bought a running pad so I could get some exercise since this pandemic has completely turned my life sedintary. I barely use it and when I do, I usually only walk. This evening, I decided to run. Now, I live in a very tiny apartment, in an also tiny, not-so-well-built building, i.e. the floors are uneven and the units are tightly spaced. I already knew that the running pad clinks when I use it, but I've never had any complaints. Plus, I had my earbuds on max and I wasn't really hearing anything...
Fast forward to when I was cooling down, and I get a call from the landlord because my neighbors have complained about the noise coming from my unit. Worse, for some reason, I felt to had to lie and told her my fan was malfunctioning... like what? Moments later, I heard neighbors outside my apartment talking and confirming that it was indeed the idiot in Unit 2G that was making a ruckus while everyone else in the building is trying to sleep.
I am too embarrassed to ever go out... you know when you already had an initial thought that what you're about to do is not a good idea, but you do it anyway, and confirm that it was indeed not a good idea. I feel like neighbors would be waiting to throw rotten eggs or tomatoes at me the moment I open the door. 😭
TL;DR I made so much noise running on the treadmill at midnight and woke up the whole building.
RedPepperJ32: Do you have to workout at midnight? Or is that a personal preference? Feels like you could just change it to another time that wouldn't bother anyone but I get it if you work night shift and are awake all night
Team_Putz: That's certainly how I should have done it. I don't work nightshift, but I'm quite nocturnal -- I was planning on doing it earlier in the evening but I just ended up delaying. Bottomline, I was not thinking, which is really the most embarrassing part...
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1656174387 | 1656196673 | t3_vkinkw | t5_2to41 | 35 | ohcleverusername: TIFU by having a dog with long ass hair.
How was your night? Mine was fine:
We have two dogs now: The elderly one and the new one. (The original FU may be getting married 12 years ago. Marriage has taught me a lot about compromise. My wife wanted another dog, but I didn’t want another dog, so we ::compromised:: and got another dog.)
The elderly dog developed idiopathic vestibular dysfunction last night, the night we got back from vacation. So I had to take him to the dog hospital at 2am. It is basically unexplained extreme vertigo. $1500 later, they tell me it should clear up on its own over time. In the meantime, he has this big harness on and I have to basically carry this 80-pound dog around. I am sleeping downstairs with him because he cannot walk, and I have to take him out periodically to expel his violent diarrhea tinged with blood. It is super disgusting, and I am not sleeping very much.
Anyway, we went out to diarrhea half a dozen times last night, and when we do this I just leave the door open - if the new dog wants to wander outside, he is welcome to. Maybe he has to pee or poop or whatever, but I am not paying attention because I am manning the harness on the elderly dog and it’s dark.
So, last session of the night, 4am, elderly dog does his thing and then opts to stay outside. Fine by me, maybe I’ll get two hours of sleep before the kitchen installer guys come this morning. (They are still not here.)
I am laying on my camp bed on the kitchen floor when the new dog decides to cuddle up with me. Fine.
At 5am I am awakened to the smell of shit. It is pungent in the air. I gather my thoughts and check my surroundings, and the hand-knitted blanket I was using (this one was made by my wife’s grandmother and it is now covered in shit) is covered in blotches of shit, and there is shit smeared on my leg and my hand and a little up my arm.
The new dog has long hair, like 6-8 inches. To the best of my knowledge, I think what happened was this: Having long hair around his asshole, he must have taken a shit at some point that fused his ass hair together, creating a sort of fused ass hair mesh, which was effectively like securing a strainer to his asshole. Then I think at 4am when we went out with elderly dog, he must have decided to take a shit, but because his ass hair was acting as a barrier now, his shit just clumped up around his asshole, unable to escape.
In my dazed state, I did not notice any of this personal drama unfolding on his part. And then when he decided to lay down next to me, his giant clump of trapped ass shit apparently got on everything, including me.
What to do. The best idea I could muster was to throw him into the shower to try to wash away the problem.
As I am walking him up the stairs, he sits down on the landing, stamping out little shit stains on the carpet.
I throw him in the shower and turn on the water, then go to get the pet spray to clean up the shit stains on the carpet while the water warms up.
But he has escaped the shower and in my absence has shaken - you know probably the way a dog shakes to get water off - all over the bathroom, which has distributed little clumps and specks of shit and shitwater EVERYwhere. (Shitwater is a word.)
The wife is still sleeping at this point, and I start cursing loudly. “God DAMMIT you fucking retard cocksucker assfuck beast no NO STOP STAY god DAMMIT FUCK…”
This wakes up the wife to my nightmare. I get the dog back in the shower, and I am trying to assess the situation. This was not a few dingleberries - this was a clump of shit the volume of two handfuls plastered to his asshole, and now it is falling off into my shower.
The wife is displeased to be cleaning up the shit stains outside the shower, and is being vocal about it. I DECIDE NOT TO REMIND HER IN THAT MOMENT THAT THIS IS NOT ::MY:: DOG.
Meanwhile, I am wafflestomping dog shit into my drain while the steam from the hot water atomizes the stench into my own personal aromatherapy spa from hell.
And that is the story of why I am drinking my second Bloody Mary at 9:30am while typing out my trauma with my thumbs for your amusement.
TL;DR: Stupid new dog got his ass hair fused together, which trapped a bunch of shit there, which ended up on me and all over the everything.
Edit: dog tax. He is cute as hell. Just a bit…new. https://i.imgur.com/eB5VkUR.jpg
MuskyLion: Man, you sound like such a nice, stable pet owner and husband. It's not the dogs fault for what happened, so why throw a tantrum? Shit happens. It's not like the dog can say, "Dude. A little help here?". And what praytell indicated it was a good idea for you multitask while shit-dog was in the tub? That was your only real FU.
Also, if you don't like your marriage enough to resent her for wanting a second dog because the first one is getting ready to shuffle loose the mortal coil, then get a divorce.
olhickoryhedgehog: I think its perfectly okay to freak out a little when you wake up covered head to toe in poop, then poop is dragged all over your house and flung across your bathroom.
MuskyLion: Sure, that'll train that dog up right.
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1656158485 | 1656177082 | t3_vkdkhu | t5_2to41 | 5 | SappigeMeneer: TIFU by sending a couple the wrong way
Actually this happened yesterday but here we go
It was the last day of school and I just finished my history and dutch test (I’m from Belgium) and I had to go home with my bike. It was like a 12 km drive so wouldn’t be that long. I knew which way I had to go but at one point I had the choice to go left or right and I just blacked out and didn’t know which way to choose but I decided to go right. After a while I turned back because I didn’t recognize the way and went back to the point and went left. A bit further I saw a car and a woman was putting her hand out of the window so I stopped. It was a couple with 2 baby’s I think because I only heard them. The woman asked if I knew if there was a coffee shop nearby. My brain translated that to coffee shop, like a place where you can drink coffee. So I said there was a restaurant nearby and I showed it on google maps and there stood it was open. They thanked me and drove away but not in the direction they should go which i found strange.
Today I told this to my sister and she bursted out laughing and she said a coffee shop is het place where you can buy cigarettes and stuff. So that was probably the reason they didn’t drive to the restaurant and they probably knew I misunderstood them but why didn’t they just say they ment something else??
TL; DR: I thought coffee shop was a place to drink coffee and sent a couple the wrong way.
kevvv_66: Why is it called a coffee shop then lmao
SappigeMeneer: Good question
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1656175853 | 1656176397 | t3_vkj5z3 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Dweebulot: TIFU TIFU by saying "This is why you don't get blowjobs" in a full parking lot.
[removed]
hauntedone234: Sounds like you need a new girlfriend.
Dweebulot: I dunno man, I'm content with what I have haha.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1656175695 | 1656184514 | t3_vkj3wy | t5_2to41 | 87 | Difficult-Camp4854: TIFU by almost blinding myself growing mushrooms
My day was going good, great in fact. I’d spent the day off work, picked some of the strawberries that I’ve been growing, went for a bit of a skate, you could say I was living it.
I get home from my skate and notice a parcel has arrived, the day just got even better! It was my package with some mushroom grow kits I’d ordered, perfect…or so I thought.
(Now a bit of context for people unaware) when growing mushrooms you want to keep the environment as sterile as you can, so chemicals like isopropyl alcohol are common place with this hobby.
Okay back to the story…So with this day going great, and my new equipment arriving, I decide today is the day to inoculate some grains to start a grow. I grab my bits and bobs to get going, spore syringes…check, sterilised grains…check, isopropyl alcohol…shoot my spray bottle needs refilling.
By this point I grab a fresh bottle of alcohol and unscrew the cap on the spray bottle to refill it, *crack* the seal on the spray bottle breaks and the cap begins to unscrew, I begin to take the cap off and then POW! Right in the kisser! I feel an excruciating pain instantly, I let out a wail enough to make even a banshee shit itself…I’m blind. Every time I open my eyes the stinging grows. The aroma of alcohol fills the room now slowly choking me to top off the unruly face fucking I had just endured.
Thoughts start racing, “i’m going to be blind forever” repeating over and over in my mind when suddenly I find a minute to collect myself…I needed water and fast, luckily I was already in the bathroom so I dive over to the sink and blast the water on. Still blind I hunch over the sink knowing that I need to get this shit out my eyes fast.
So I started blasting, holding each eye open one by one as I attempt to furiously flush the water through my eyes, but to no avail. The stinging continues to build stronger and stronger, the residue that had soaked my hands had slipped passed my mind and I’d effectively flushed more alcohol into my eyes.
With my anxiety building I say fuck it and keep on blasting as much water into my eyes as humanly possible, at this point I have no other choice, getting directly under the stream while fighting against my eyelids trying to close.
10, 15, 20 minutes pass by of eyes stinging both from the alcohol but also from the water trying to flush it out. I know I have to asses the damage properly but can’t bare to open my eyes. I pluck up the courage and dry my eyes with a towel blinking like a mad man to get the remaining water out.
Finally I slowly open my eyes properly, both of which still refusing to do so for a few minutes before finally opening. I stand facing the mirror, vision now blurry almost like there’s a fog of mist overlaying my vision. I look into my eyes and both are redder than the devils dick, and feeling like they’d been pounded by it too. I kept blinking for a few minutes and put in some saline eye drops I luckily had.
I don’t know what bad karma I had to atone for today, but I sure as shit will be wearing some goggles the next time I mess with alcohol and recommend ya’ll do too if you ever need to use it because it stings like a bitch!…Eyes are still red, I’ve rubbed the skin off my bottom eyelids and my eyes feel like I’ve got an eyelash stuck in them constantly, I was going to get seen by A&E but I really can’t be bothered with the inevitable wait that I’ll have to go through only to have them do what I did with water again and then send me on my way with eye drops, my vision seems fine so we’ll roll with it, I’ll just look like I’ve got pink eye for a while.
TL;DR: TIFU by accidentally flinging drops of alcohol into my eyes whilst refilling a spray bottle to sterilise mushroom growing equipment.
xxZenjixx: What type of mushrooms are you growing?
Difficult-Camp4854: Some lions mane, and some cubensis
TAastronautsloth99: What strain of cubensis?
Difficult-Camp4854: Just the OG GT
| 5 | 17.4 | |
1656177941 | 1656259527 | t3_vkjw39 | t5_2to41 | 103 | Feelingbroke: TIFU by making poor life choices
[removed]
Such-Wrongdoer-2198: You didn't actually mention any poor life choices. My recommendation would be to start working construction and maybe trade school. Learn HVAC, plumbing or general construction skills. It's a career path where you can learn incremental skills, and eventually work for yourself or apply in multiple fields.
SolidStateStarDust: I wish this got more visibility. Trade schools are where the money is and most of the time, the workplace environment is pretty good. Miles beyond better than office and retail jobs, you get skills that you keep for life, you can ALWAYS start your own business like you mentioned.
-gzus-kryst-: Welder here Lotta jobs pay over $20 an hour now for experienced help, even newbies make $17(ohio)
| 4 | 25.75 | |
1656178668 | 1656225547 | t3_vkk51e | t5_2to41 | 14,525 | [deleted]: Tifu by accidentally uploading me and my gf having sex
[deleted]
OkVolume1: "Recorded a good bit of it"
Video ends up being two minutes.
EViLTeW: Those sentences are the best part. "Had sex for quite awhile" "Recorded a good bit of it" "so basically there's 2 minutes of sex out there on snapchat"
Turbulent_Okra1584: Which is a super long time when it's your friends and/or family.
EViLTeW: Every time I have sex it's with a friend (who I happen to be married to, which also makes her family) and I still don't feel like 2 minutes is a super long time.
shockingdevelopment: Touching.
EViLTeW: Yes, there's usually touching in sex, until 2032-ish. At that point we just put on helmets and think real hard (pun intended).
dudemann: I don't get the downvotes. It was a good, almost 3 decade old, reference. I imagine the sex helmets in Demolition Man were probably created prior to 2032. That just happens to be the year we see them.
Thinking about it, a lot of Demolition Man stuff may be possible in the next decade. Video calls are already a thing. Brain mapping is currently in its infancy but it's a start and with a little more development, bam, sex helmets. The self-driving electric cars are already a thing. Food regulations are getting tighter and tighter and with so many meat alternatives, I can see meat being banned for cruelty and emissions reasons.
I just hope that at some point in the next decade, someone actually explains the 3 shells before actually rolling them out in bathrooms worldwide.
shockingdevelopment: What was the demolition man reference?
dudemann: Everything but the first snarky sentence.
>Yes, there's usually touching in sex, until 2032-ish. At that point we just put on helmets and think real hard (pun intended).
Demolition Man was set in 2032. After physical sex had been made illegal because of diseases and problematic natural pregnancies, in order to do the sex, people would put on special helmets and pass mental images back and forth.
I don't know if they ever said how exactly people were supposed to finish though, so it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. It was just randomly thrown in there as "look, see? future stuff!"
shockingdevelopment: People can finish without touching
dudemann: I considered that part, but that's a whole different deal compared to actual sex. I don't see the helmets becoming a thing in our real short term future.
shockingdevelopment: Probably already possible in VR
| 13 | 1,117.307692 | |
1656179572 | 1656190973 | t3_vkkg8d | t5_2to41 | 8 | My_Neighbor_Pandaro: TIFU by petting a baby bird.
Still occuring so I guess yesterday and TIFU
Preface, a few months ago I was lucky enough to have a bird that decided to nest in my door wreath. Blinded by adorable baby birds, I allowed them to nest there. The first family there no issues what so ever. Fast forward to about few weeks ago, another family took residence and decided to occupy the nest before and lay eggs. The birds grew up and the fledgling birds were poking their heads out. Commence the 'Awwing' of the babies like I was an expectant father at a nursery.
The fatal flaw was that my stupid reptilian brain sabotoged me. And I decided to pet one of the baby birds, unbeknownst to me I had a few friends stow away on my hand. No more than a few minutes of sitting down, practically microscopic mite crawls across the screen of my phone. Cue me freaking out like I just saw a murderer outside my window, stripped on the spot and threw my clothes in the washer and took the longest and most thorough shower in my life. Thinking that I avoided a massive calamity, I rested easy in my bed for a few days. Then the itching began. Typically I have fairly dry skin, so I thought nothing of it. While resting in my bed, much like a musician preforming an encore guess who came back last night. A tiny mite crossing the screen of my phone while I was laying down on my bed, again in a panic, I crushed the mite on my screen and began removing all of my bed sheets and pillow covers. Threw everything that I could in the washer and took another shower.
I remembered that I still had the wreath hanging but it was abandoned by this point. I took it off of my door practically ripping it off and doused it in wasp killer spray and wrapped it in a 50 gallon trashbag and threw it in the dumpster. Not unlike a zombie movie, they're rapidly multiplying in my apartment and keep coming back.
Tl;dr: Pet a baby bird and now I have thousands of mites having a party crawling around in my apartment.
Anotherdude342: https://bugwiz.com/bugs-on-phone-screen/#White_mites_on_phone_screen
Probably just normal dust mites.
Avatorn01: Dust mites are not visible to the naked eye.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1656180088 | 1656193266 | t3_vkkmql | t5_2to41 | 27 | LuciusDickusMaximus: TIFU by thinking “bussy” meant “baby pussy”
I work at the local library, and over the past decade, as smartphones and laptops became the norm, our computer stations have gotten much less popular across all demographics except one: old men.
Now, if you’ve never met an old man, the one thing you should know is they have little to no shame. It’s commonplace for them to be looking at leaked celebrity nudes in full view of the library staff and patrons. We usually let it slide unless they are watching full on porn.
But yesterday, there was this one old geezer, a balding wrinkly fella who looked ready to give up the ghost at any moment. I clocked him as suspicious the moment he walked in, and he was moaning and rubbing his belly in this strange circular motion. I made sure to keep an eye on him, and sure enough, he headed straight to the computers.
I kept keeping tabs on him over the first hour; all he was doing was typing furiously in this geriatric search-and-peck method. But around 2 o’clock, he hobbled over to the printer, grabbed some paper and headed to the bathroom. At that moment, I knew we had a masturbator.
Curiosity overwhelmed me, so I headed to the printer and checked the file name of what he had just printed. I gasped as I saw the name: “bussy.jpg.” This is where I fucked up. I assumed “bussy” was “baby pussy.” As in, this guy just printed out child porn on the library printer. Without double checking myself, I immediately phoned the coppers and informed them we had a criminal pedophile pleasuring himself in the library bathroom.
I felt proud as I saw the old man rough-housed and shoved into the back of a squad car. One of the officers even spit on him and said “Fuck you, pedophile.”
But as I told this story to a coworker who asked what happened, he burst out laughing. Apparently, bussy was a slang term for the male asshole, not… you know.
I turned red as I realized I had an old man apprehended simply for pleasuring himself to gay imagery. Especially during Pride Month. When I walked into work this morning, my coworkers chanted “homophobe” as I walked in….
TL;DR Library masturbator turned out to be gay, not a pedophile
joemama257: No way this is real
Avatorn01: Kindof agree. i feel like there are more rules / protocols in place when stuff like this happens. Sure you call the police, but “Coppers” sounds soooooo over the top.
And police take statements , do an investigation, etc. a detective would be there. They would need the computer for evidence . Like OP wouldn’t have found out theirmistake after the fact, they would have found out pretty shortly .
OP makes it sound like cops show up and boom, it’s all over. it would have been wayyyy more involved.
So yeah, overall, the whole story just feels like a very agist and homophobic gag??
Maybe that should be the title: TIFU by putting a not very funny, agist and homophobic post on Reddit ??
Skipp_To_My_Lou: If nothing else officers would have seen the printed off pics were of people who were neither minors nor female.
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1656181799 | 1656195982 | t3_vkkwsh | t5_2to41 | 0 | Yenrou: >I just typed this up on my phone after it happened. I didnt think i was writing a peer reviewed article with MLA citations
Sorry about coming off as harsh, but I'm 100% sure the exact same post with the exact same text was posted before earlier this week.
Sure, it's common for TIFUs to falsify the date it happened on, but it definitely wasn't "after it happened".
Also, posting a link which was concealed as [Link](http://google.com)? That's Scam 101 you're teaching, if anything.
The new account didn't help either.
Spiritual_Poo: You need a *real* hobby.
Yenrou: And you need a fucking brain.
Spiritual_Poo: Damn why are you so butthurt? Good lord get a life.
| 4 | 0 | |
1656181227 | 1656193210 | t3_vkl0yt | t5_2to41 | 95 | xlma: TIFU by telling the bouncer I had a gun
Truth be told, this happened a few years ago but saw a post that reminded me of it.
A few friends of mine were taking a buddy out to a local strip club for his birthday. It was one of those ones that is in the sketchier part of town. My friends would commonly describe the dancers as having “stab wounds and stretch marks” but in a loving, joking way. The dancers weren’t all like that but some were some lifelong career dancers. Think different animal print ceiling tiles. Zebra, cheetah, tigers etc. was the design and with plastic lawn chairs for seating. With a stage made from a few two foot tall wooden boxes pushed together with what looks like cheap astroturf as the carpet.
Anyway, we hit the local bar beforehand and I was feeling tipsy enough to venture into that part of town. I remember walking through the door and the bouncer asked if we had any guns. My dumb, intoxicated self heard him asking if I had any GUM at which point I say yes and start reaching in my pocket to get the nice, oversized man a piece of wintergreen. At which point I find myself shoved against the wall in that little area between the entry doors and the doors to get into the actual club while this man is grabbing my arm that’s still in my pocket trying to get out my damn trident (gum not the underwater aquaman weapon).
Luckily, we were able to explain and I turned over my weapon against bad breathe and ended up having a decent night. You’d think that if someone was coming in with a gun and bad intentions, they wouldn’t tell the bouncer.
TLDR: went to shady strip club. Bouncer asked if I have a gun but My intoxicated self thought he was asking for a piece of gum which I attempted to quickly retrieve out of my pocket. Obviously the bouncer had to make sure I wasn’t a threat.
Throwaway4545232: What would be the normal process if he said “yes” and meant it? Leave the club, have the bouncer take it out and hold onto it, or something else?
Explorer335: Most states have laws against carrying a gun into places that serve alcohol. They would typically just refuse to let you in with a weapon. A bouncer should never take a gun from someone unless there is an immediate threat. They certainly wouldn't hold it for you, and you never leave your weapon in someone else's possession.
Throwaway4545232: Thanks! TIL
| 4 | 23.75 | |
1656183482 | 1656192012 | t3_vklsuu | t5_2to41 | 76 | yourdadisabean: TIFU Talks Episode #21 Got a story to share? Come and share it on TIFU Talks!
wheresmyrealparents: Nb!? Your like right next door to my province!
wheresmyrealparents: Pei
yourdadisabean: potato farmers the lot of you
wheresmyrealparents: Anne of Green gables fucks we are
yourdadisabean: Such a PEI thing to say 😭
wheresmyrealparents: Would you expect anything less?
| 7 | 10.857143 | |
1656184270 | 1656284879 | t3_vkm2y1 | t5_2to41 | 5,172 | Slight_Access_5936: TIFU by not locking my bedroom door
I, (M,53) rent a room in a house with four other guys including the landlord.
Like many liberal folks, my girlfriend and I like to have some fun in the bedroom including an occasional threesome (MFM) and we had one last night that ended at about 1:30 am this morning.
Around 2:00 am as we were both asleep, naked, a short blonde woman crawls into bed with us on my girl's side of the bed. Thankfully this was the
one time my girl went to sleep on that side of the bed. We just kinda collapsed where we were after sex and the other guy had just left.
We both woke up from this stranger crawling into bed with us and we're both equally
confused. My girl later told me that she assumed I had invited a woman over for another threesome and was a little peeved because I know she's not into chicks and it was 1:30 am after a 2.5 hour threesome with another guy so she was spent.
However, I was tired from the threesome we just had and assumed that she had, for the first time ever, invited a girl over for a FMF threesome and
was equally confused as surely she had to know that I was spent too.
After a minute or so where the naked stranger just snuggled up to my girl, I whispered to my sweetie and asked, "Who is that?" She replied, "I don't know."
Then there was a knock on my door. It was my landlord and he said, “Um, my date is a little
drunk and I think she came in here."
I laughed and said, “Yep, she crawled into bed with us. Lemme get her for you." I went over to her and very nicely said, "Hey boo, you're in the
wrong room. Lemme help you" as I tried to get her out of our bed. It was at this moment I first realized that she was buck naked. She replied, "No. I
don't wanna go." She was drunk and confused.
I told my landlord she said she didn’t want to go and he got an annoyed look on his face and came in and got her. Although it was obvious that she was naked, I'm happy to report I treated her the way I would hope someone would treat MY 30+ year old daughter if
she had just crawled into the wrong bed, naked and drunk; I stoned her to death for bringing shame to our family.
I keeeed.
No, seriously though, I averted my line of sight and intentionally didn't see so much as half a boob or butt cheek. It was an honest mistake made by an intoxicated woman and my sweetie and I are just laughing about it now. I'm just glad it
happened on a night when my girlfriend was staying over and on the one and only time we
were on opposite sides from how we would normally sleep. Otherwise, naked strange lady
would have been snuggling up to naked me. That could've been WAY more awkward.
Pretty sure my landlord's girlfriend will never look me in the eye if our paths should ever cross again.
TL;DR: I left my bedroom door unlocked and my landlords drunk naked girlfriend got lost and crawled into bed w/ me and my girlfriend, both also very naked.
paigezero: Is it weird that my main takeaway from this is that OP is 53 but still has to house share?
PineappleLemur: If real.. this is the saddest part. Living the collage life... forever.
Slight_Access_5936: Hardly forever. I’ve been divorced and living alone for barely a year and just moved to another state to be with her. We are buying a condo together soon.
[deleted]: I think the principal point is that not having the means to support yourself without FOUR roommates at the age of 53 is pretty awkward, and equates to a lifestyle that almost nobody would find desirable. So less TIFU and more IFML.
deToph: I think the more embarrassing is the saying “like many liberal dudes, I like to let other dudes fuck my girlfriend even though she won’t let us it with other girls” lol
Slight_Access_5936: I’ve never asked for another woman. Pretty sure she would have no problem with it, she just wouldn’t wanna do the girl.
deToph: You’re still letting other dudes fuck your girlfriend.
Slight_Access_5936: And we both love it.
Mo3: Sure bud..
Slight_Access_5936: Weird how you can’t comprehend that some guys like women AND sucking dick.
We’re real.
Mo3: I know, I’m bisexual. Your girlfriend has you by the balls and not in a good sense
Slight_Access_5936: Um…okay. You realize that I’m the one that gets the guys and she doesn’t even have their phone numbers, right? They wear masks. I LOVE a good MFM threesome. Not sure what part of “we both love it” you don’t understand.
Mo3: I sure understand that concept, but keeping in mind that your girlfriend will not tolerate another woman instead leads to some different conclusions
Sounds like there’s some serious double standards going on, just imagine you were not bisexual and this was going on. From that perspective, your girlfriend can have as many cocks as she wants and you even get them for her, while you are not allowed another woman, and the only thing that makes it acceptable in your mind and functional for your girlfriend is that you also randomly happen to like cock
I’m totally okay with whatever you do, but it’s kind of questionable.
Slight_Access_5936: She would, I just don’t want them. Too much drama.
Mo3: But you literally said that she won’t have it somewhere else in this thread bro that’s why it seems a little bit like denial to me
Slight_Access_5936: I said she doesn’t WANT one, I didn’t say she wouldn’t have one. She would definitely have one.
| 17 | 304.235294 | |
1656187780 | 1656193458 | t3_vkna2q | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming all over my final english project
[deleted]
ecologybitch: how tf do you "forget" you have cum in your hand dripping off of it
ChonkPolice: Post nut stupidity
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1656193880 | 1656198390 | t3_vkpcra | t5_2to41 | 6 | Hookupgurlz: TIFU by not being apart or hookup culture
[removed]
MrArendt: Oh good, the incels found their way to TIFU.
starliner2000: It's a bot. All of these shitty incel posts in the last months all follow similar patterns.
Patterns:
- new profiles
- profile name has something to do with the post (in this example they are talking about hookup culture and their name coincides with that, other ones where they desparage against women also have a desparaging/vulgar name)
- a couple posts (around 4 or so)
- all posts tiles are every similar in nature
- some but not all of the subs posted in have some polarized bias on the topic (either for or against)
There are a few others, but these are the big ones I see.
| 3 | 2 | |
1656194080 | 1656255521 | t3_vkpezt | t5_2to41 | 15,163 | CitrusPain: TIFU by lying to my girlfriend about liking lemons for 3 years
Throwaway because my friends know my account and I don’t want this getting worse.
I started dating my girlfriend close to 3 years ago, and at the start of the relationship we were chatting and a topic came up about things that we like/dislike. I mentioned not liking to eat liver, she mentioned not being a big fan of fish etc., nothing unusual. Then she asked if I liked lemons. Now I have nothing against lemons, I sometimes add a slice to my tea or drizzle a bit of lemon juice over fish so I said “yeah sure I like lemons”. She got all excited and told me that she also LOVES lemons, which I found a little odd but didn’t think twice of it.
The next time we met up she came over with a lemon drink, talking about how she finally found a good brand with proper lemon flavour and wants to share it with me. I drank some and it was way too sour for me, but she was being all cute and excited and I didn’t want to bring her down so I lied and said that it was great. Sure I should have been honest but I figured it was a one-time thing so what’s the harm in making your girlfriend happy? Big mistake. As it turns out she was a HUGE fan of lemons: drinking lemon beverages, picking lemon-flavoured options in restaurants, putting lemon juice on every meal, even just eating lemons by themselves. We haven't been dating long at that point but even so I honestly don’t know how I didn’t spot this sooner; she lived by herself and her vegetable drawer in the fridge was always full of lemons.
It was bearable at first, but kept escalating and I wasn’t sure what to do. She was always so excited about having this common interest with me so I tried to find way to get through it (like carrying sugar packets with me in secret to try to dull the sourness). A few months into the relationship we’ve had to unexpectedly switch to dating long-distance. Obviously I was sad to be apart and only getting to see her for a few weeks at a time, but a part of me was glad to be able to take breaks from the lemon frenzy. Since then we’ve been dating long-distance for over 2 years now and have both gotten used to the routine, and I thought that I had the situation under control. I was wrong.
This is where the fuck up happened. Whilst we were apart she met up with her friends that she hasn’t seen in a long while and apparently her love for lemons came up in the conversation. She told them about how much she loves them and how huge of a coincidence it was that I shared her love for them. Apparently her friends found the idea hilarious and started joking about how funny it would be if I was faking it for the last 3 years and constantly suffering whilst having to pretend that I love them just as much as she does (haha…). They jokingly proposed for her to tell me that she has gotten sick of lemons and see what my reaction will be to hearing that.
Well as you may have guessed it I’m writing this post because she ended up actually doing this and I fucking fell for it. Now she won’t talk to me because she feels that I’ve been deceiving her for the last 3 years and she can’t trust me, especially since we’re in a long-distance relationship where trust is everything. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this but if you ever find yourself in a similar situation for the love of god don’t pretend that you’re into lemons.
\[TL;DR\] Lied to my girlfriend about liking lemons. Proceeded to put up with the pain for 3 years before getting outed.
EggplantIll4927: Babe I got in too deep and didn’t know how to confess. I love how it excited you and I loved sharing your passion. Babe, I don’t love lemons. But I do love you. Why else would I eat lemons for so long? I promise I will never tell you I love lemons ever again.
kitium: Can I hire you?
Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs: This is like the most obvious response anyways, does everyone in this sub have like 0 game or something?
jessica_from_within: No bitches? 🥺
Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs: If I thought that eggplantIll's comment was impressive then yeah I probably would have no bitches. Negative bitches, in fact
jessica_from_within: So in other words your opinion of u/EggplantIll4927’s comment doesn’t effect the number of bitches you have
Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs: Touché
Faultyrocket: “For a man with no bitches cannot have negative bitches” - Someone on the interney
| 9 | 1,684.777778 | |
1656197996 | 1661284596 | t3_vkqpvk | t5_2to41 | 96 | imsosorrygrammy: TIFU by sending my grandma a screenshot of an r/confessions post about jizzing on bugs.
obligatory this happened about 2 months ago, but for personal reasons, I waited to post it with a throwaway. also, I originally typed this immediately after it happened.
so my grandma lives a few states away from me, but they get similar weather, and she usually lets me know when bad weather is coming and wishes me safety.
my grandma is also a very sweet, very southern, *and very religious* old woman. the kind that would have a whole cabinet dedicated to sweets and baked goods specifically prepared for when her grandkids arrive for a visit.
so she texted me at 10pm wishing me well and safety because we had a huge storm arriving tonight. I texted back thanking her and sent another one excitedly telling her about how me and fiance had just gotten approved for a new apartment. she responds how she knows this will be good for us and that she will talk to me more tomorrow. I leave it at that because she has to take care of my grandpa, and like most old people, they go to bed early. I don't want to keep her up any longer.
so about 15 minutes later I'm just sitting in bed on Instagram and my fiance is on the computer across the room working on a project.
I find a horribly hilarious post (it was a screenshot from r/ confessions that was reposted to an Instagram meme account) and me being lazy, I didn't want to get out of bed. fiance doesn't like having to open Instagram and asks me to send posts through text if I want to share them. I decided now was the perfect time to oblige to this request, and I really don't know why I chose now of all times.
so I screenshot the post and I text the screenshot to him. I wait for him to see it and verbally respond, but he never does.
its now been 15 minutes since I sent the screenshot and I ask him if he saw my photo yet and he says he didn't get a photo. because I'm perfect, I think he's just being a goof and didn't realize I texted him.
he then suggests I make sure I sent it to *him*. I open my messages and see not only did I send it to my grandma by mistake, but the title of the post reads "I love jerking off onto bugs" followed by the OP describing how he intentionally traps bugs in cups specifically to jizz on them. and I instantly feel like puking.
it had been 15 minutes between her last text and when I sent the photo, and then 15 more before I realized the FU. she doesn't have read receipts on so I don't know if she saw it yet.
out of sheer panic, I made a dumb excuse about how I don't know how it got in my camera roll and I sent it by mistake and beg her not to read it. fiance helps me cover it up with iMessage stickers because it's the only thing we can think of to help fix this.
I'm praying she hasn't and now can't read it. I don't know what else to do or say. I'm utterly mortified.
update: as said before, I typed this out when it originally happened. she never ended up bringing it up ever. and that's probably for the best. I really don't want to know if she actually saw it or not, and would rather continue pretending it never happened while I take it to my grave, as far as the rest of my family goes.
TL;DR I accidentally sent my extremely religious, southern grandma an awful screenshot of a Reddit post of a guy raving about his love for jizzing on insects and now she probably thinks I'm some sort of degenerate. [here](https://imgur.com/a/rXtI5Lm) is the post as well as the texts to my poor grandma.
Beautifulblueocean: Your grandma has probably jizzed on some bugs in her day, I mean how old is she? She has probably done it all.
IhoardTP: In all honesty, being from the south and being old, chances are she used to fuck in the fields and if she is a squirter, she drenched more than a few bugs in her day.
stepbrochillzas: Oh ok . We didn’t need all that
| 4 | 24 | |
1656200749 | 1656251418 | t3_vkrla7 | t5_2to41 | 230 | [deleted]: TIFU by picking at the black heads on my chooch
[deleted]
Patient-Quarter-1684: Old girlfriend had one down there, she went to the doctor and he had to cut the follicle out, otherwise it just keeps happening.
Your right, the smell is incredibly bad.
Then the wound had to be packed so it could heal from the inside out, otherwise it could heal on top and just keep festering underneath
deadpossumhoarder: Ugh, packed wounds are the worst!
Terrifying stuff
Fed_up_with_Reddit: I have a well developed fear of packed wounds after something that happened to me about 25 years ago. I’m shuddering just thinking about it.
deadpossumhoarder: It is horrifying, but I guess abscesses are worse 😭
Fed_up_with_Reddit: Mine was caused by an abscessed cyst. Worst of both worlds.
deadpossumhoarder: Yikes and yikes.
Sorry that happened to you. I can imagine the scar it made too.
I have super sensitive skin and didn't know how to take care of stuff when I was younger. I've had some pretty awful acne that developed into huge open wounds and left scars that took years to heal
Fed_up_with_Reddit: Oh if I told you the whole story you probably wouldn’t sleep tonight.
deadpossumhoarder: I'm good thanks!
But seriously, hope you're doing better. Those kinds of wound mess with my head, like existentially. Like "we're just made of meat that can fall off at any time and were insignificant little meat people" type of thing
Fed_up_with_Reddit: Oh I’m fine now. All of that was 15* years ago. I even ended up with a “cool” scar and a batshit crazy store to tell about how I got it.
| 10 | 23 | |
1656201668 | 1656259108 | t3_vkrvg0 | t5_2to41 | 14 | M4j1kN1nj4: TIFU by putting a jar of honey in a bag
Wednesday I get home from work I clean up a bit and I noticed that the jar of honey has a puddle of honey under it. The jar is about 4" round and so was the pool. Figured it was a lot of honey but nothing of it. So I cleaned the jar and cleaned the counter.
Thursday I see the same jar and the same sized pool of honey under it, when I got home from work. But this time ants are crawling on the jar. So I clean the honey from the counter and clean the jar. Making sure no ants got inside. Then I put the jar on a paper towel under it to catch any honey if it's leaking. I tell my wife "hey I notice there's honey under the jar, I cleaned it up." She says "oh I used it and must have forgotten to clean it" so I think nothing of it.
Friday come home from work. See honey on the paper towel and ants again. When I pick it up I notice the jar left an indent on the paper towel and it appears to not been moved. So I cleaned up again. And I'm thinking that there must be a hairline fracture in the glass. I'm not sure, I don't want to throw it out because, I didn't see any ants inside, and it's really good honey. So I put the honey in a ziplock bag. I'm thinking if it's leaking then it'll leak into the bag. And then I'll know for sure.
Saturday my wife and I are cleaning up the kitchen and she says "I know you put this jar in the bag but never do this again!!! You are just creating more work for me and its pissing me off!!!"
We go back and forth for 30 minutes about it. I say I thought it was leaking. She said she just forgets to clean it and I should of known. And putting it in a ziplock bag is idiotic and no one in their right mind would ever do that.
TLDR; I thought a honey jar was leaking, I put it in a ziplock bag to check. My wife called me an idiot and said no one would ever do that. So I put it on the internet to see if I'm crazy.
Beautifulblueocean: So your wife is messy and lazy?
Ocean_Spice: And mean, apparently.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1656201944 | 1656202657 | t3_vkryh7 | t5_2to41 | -6 | YourInfidelityInMe: TIFU I wanted my butthole to smell nice for my friend’s dad
My good friend’s dad is in town visiting this week for work. I have known him since college (through my friend, who was one of my roommates in the dorms) and over the years we have had more than platonic encounters.
So when he reached out, I was kind of excited. He’s my “no dudes over 40” exception. I know he’s an avaricious consumer of the booty chute from past experience and he loves to chow down at the starfish buffet before taking care of business. So I made sure I smelled delicious down there by moisturizing with a rich, coconut-scented body butter before I went to his hotel room this AM.
Well, after he was done with me, I noticed him scratching around his mouth. The redness came on pretty obviously against his pale, nordic complexion. Yikes. He was having a violent dermatologic reaction to my coco body butter.
Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal. He could have stayed in his room to wait for his bloated clown lips and rash to subside. But my friend (his son) was throwing him BBQ today. I tried using all the benadryl and cortisone creams on him. Even though it did help him with the itching before the BBQ, the redness never subsided (and I think maybe even blistered a little?).
We went to the BBQ separately (our hookup is just between us). I had to pretend I was surprised by his clown lips and rash, and asked him about it in front of other guests like it was my first time seeing it. (The excuse I told him to tell others was a reaction to the shaving cream.)
He was pretty pissed at me and doesn’t want to hook up again. I get it. His shaft had a rash too. I should have asked before buttering up my butthole.
TL;DR: I wanted my starfish to smell nice for anilingus, but I gave my friend’s dad an allergic reaction instead. Now he doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Twittenhouse: Hopefully, you reassured him it's not some kind of STD and it was just an allergic reaction.
YourInfidelityInMe: I did. I had my STI screen just a couple weeks ago, with throat and butt swabs, urine sample, and blood. Also I don’t know what kind of STIs give you itchy rashes and swollen lips/tongue.
Twittenhouse: Ok, now I am reassured.
| 4 | -1.5 | |
1656200240 | 1656267682 | t3_vkrfth | t5_2to41 | 10 | LittleGravitasIndeed: TIFU by scratching an old scar
Ugh, it goes through my eyebrow and that area was already really patchy. Now that the single eyebrow hair clinging to life in that area is gone, it looks like I’m some poser who plucks their eyebrows like that on purpose. I’ve tried rearranging what I have left, but I don’t think it will stay in place without gel. Also, I hate wearing makeup, so doing nothing to my face but scribbling over that area with an eyebrow pencil, no matter how closely it matches, will look stupid too. I know this is a short post (got automodded twice) but I have nothing else to say about it. I have patchy eyebrows, I got one of the patchiest areas deeply bisected by a cut while doing something incredibly stupid, and now my left eyebrow is in two pieces because I scratched heartily at my orbital ridge.
That’s it. I’ve done it. I have a bisected eyebrow until that single hair grows back out.
Tl;dr: a really immature incident followed up with scratching an itch years later makes it look like I am following some tryhard beauty trend.
lkeels: Fix it with an eyeliner pencil or a dab of mascara. This is not difficult.
LittleGravitasIndeed: I hate how just a spot of makeup looks. It’s dumb if it’s not cohesively all over your face. People who draw on their eyebrows instead of actually having hair aren’t subtle and they also look worse for it. There’s nothing uglier than a bald man with hair, you know.
lkeels: You clearly don't know how to apply. Don't judge until you learn. It can be done well enough that no one will notice.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1656202202 | 1656274607 | t3_vks18b | t5_2to41 | 188 | TheSammiestSam: TIFU by assuming everyone got a raise
Today I received a letter from my company informing me of a dollar/hour raise.
This kind of letter is standard for every raise in the company but normally we hear whispers of it before letters go out, so I sent a photo of the letter to my coworkers’ group chat saying “we’re getting raises?!”
There’s some excitement and then coworkers saying that they hadn’t received such letters or heard anything about it.
I call my supervisor who hasn’t heard anything about raises and suggests it’s just for me.
My coworkers were mostly very kind saying I deserved a raise and worked very hard, but there was also some irritation directed at me.
A single employee getting a raise isn’t really the norm at my company so I didn’t expect it. Now it looks like I’m some smug jerk rubbing it in that I’m making more than my coworkers.
The excitement of more money is very much overshadowed by embarrassment.
TL;DR TIFU by sharing news of a company-wide raise when it turned out to just be for me.
zilnosnibor: This is why it's usually company policy to not discuss salary or wages with your coworkers. This could open a big can of worms.
NoThisIsPatrick003: In the US, it's illegal to have such a policy. If anything, such discussion only creates problems for the employer which is why they don't want people talking about it.
It's probably bad form to brag about a raise, but you should never be afraid to discuss and compare compensation among employees. It only benefits the corporations to keep this information to yourself.
zilnosnibor: Well shucky darn. A 5 second google search confirmed this is correct. I've been working under a misconception for 25+ years. Believe me, I am not the only one that believed the topic was off limits. Thanks!
NoThisIsPatrick003: Unfortunately, there are many people who have bought this misconception hook, line, and sinker.
Bbbuffalo: It still shouldn’t be done, I shouldn’t reward someone with a raise only to have to tell someone else they’re kind of a shitty worker
NoThisIsPatrick003: I strongly disagree. The onus is on the business owner to be able to defend how salaries and wages are determined. A primary reason business owners don't want this being discussed is because they are already aware compensation for some of their employees isn't fair (below market value for the work or underpaid compared to others in similar positions).
There are plenty of reasons for why someone might make more or less than another. This includes things like experience, education, greater responsibilities, etc. However, your pay structure should be transparent and justifiable so that employees understand differences in pay. It is your responsibility to make sure this is clear and if you feel like employees talking about their compensation will disrupt your workplace environment then you should probably re-examine your pay structure and verify that it's actually fair. If it truly is, you have no reason to fear your employees discussing compensation.
Bbbuffalo: In a perfect world sure, but people aren’t perfect, they’re petty assholes. Never will discussing pay rates not make someone angry and morale goes to shit.
NoThisIsPatrick003: Hate to break it to you, but if those conversations are all it takes to make workplace morale go to shit, then workplace morale wasn't all that strong to begin with.
Bbbuffalo: Workplace morale is always a work in progress, not a lot of people are excited to go to work
NoThisIsPatrick003: Sure. But in my experience discussion and unrest about pay is usually precipitated by other factors. Like I said before, if one conversation of pay is enough to tank your employee's morale, then you probably have other issues that are needing to be addressed.
I've worked in plenty of places where the work environment was a positive experience even though the work itself was shitty. In all cases, whether or not the environment was a positive one or not started with the managers and owners being willing to engage in honest and open dialogue with their employees. Trying to hide, conceal, and discourage conversation is a symptom of many other underlying problems contributing to a negative environment.
| 11 | 17.090909 | |
1656202716 | 1656223613 | t3_vks6sv | t5_2to41 | 1,868 | h2f: TIFU by trying not to be the creepy old man at the gym
I'm a man in my late 50s. I've heard lots of stories about women who feel uncomfortable at the gym because guys try to hit on them, stare at them, etc. and often the creepy guy is way older. I don't want to be one of those guys. I do, however, get bored at the gym and I like to people watch so I used to occasionally catch myself looking at people while I worked out.
So, to make sure that I was not making anybody uncomfortable I came up with a strategy. I carry my cell phone and put bluetooth headphoens in my ears. While I do weights I listen to podcasts and between sets I check my email and play scrabble, spelling bee, wordle, or other games. When I switch to cardio, I watch videos on Youtube or Netflix. Usually I watch mindless comedies. The way that I see it my eyes and ears are occupied by my phone and I'm really unlikely to make anybody uncomfortable. I've been doing this for years and never had an issue.
Today was no different. I lifted weights, listening to The Moth and trying to get to the queen bee level in the Spelling Bee. Then I switched to cardio and resumed watching the latest comedy that Netflix had recommended. It was a dorky Indie comedy called Mr. Roosevelt. Just as I was finishing my cardio it played a scene where a group goes to a swimming hole and every female peels off their bikini tops. There are boobs everywhere, close up, bouncing as they come out of their tops one after another. I shut off the video, turn around to leave and get a look from the woman on the elliptical behind me. I'm pretty sure that I am now the creepy old man at the gym.
TL;DR I have a habit of burying myself in my cell phone while at the gym so I'll never be the creepy old man at the gym. Worked until I watched an R rated movie with a topless scene while a woman worked out directly behind me. Now, I'm the creepy old man.
phyrestorm999: I'm confused. I thought you must have gotten a boner and the woman thought it was from looking at her, but the other commenters seem to have interpreted it as her getting upset because she saw boobs on your phone.
If it was the former, that's unfortunate but not your fault. If it was the latter, it's her fault for peeking at a stranger's screen in the first place. Either way, you're not a creep, and I say that as a woman who hates creeps.
Emergency-Hyena5134: The hell is wrong with you?
phyrestorm999: I have no idea, but I'm sure you'll tell me.
violentpac: You don't know what's wrong with you?
I can always think of several things when people ask me.
phyrestorm999: Damn. Listing some of my actual flaws would have been a much funnier response.
Monvi: One of my legs is noticeably longer than the other, I have terrible vision, and found softball to be the most embarrassing unit in gym class, growing up.
phyrestorm999: I'm lazy, out of shape, suck at math, can only read the most obvious of facial expressions, and every single one of my teeth had at least one filling by the time I was 25.
| 8 | 233.5 | |
1656203930 | 1656205336 | t3_vksjr0 | t5_2to41 | 23 | Whysocomplicat3d: TIFU by thinking my abdominal pain was just my endometriosis acting up and nearly had an urinary tract infection spreading into my whole body
"Pro" being chronically ill: you learn to listen to your body and to demand proper medical care when you think you need it.
Con: yoh think pain is "just" your usual pain.
Last Sunday I suddenly felt very ill from one second to the other. Not life threatening ill but ill enough to go see a doctor for a "regular" illness. She thought it was heat sensitivity, stress and stomach bug. Medicine against feeling nauseous worked a bit. Got worse again. Yesterday I sat crying in her office because I still felt so awful and today was my graduation ceremony (my last one). She was about to send me to the hospital but my lab results were okay so I declined.
However this morning my body was literally screaming at me "there's some thing wrong seek help!"
Tried it in the emergency doctor's office. He barely saw me, interrupted me and said it was because of my (perfectly fine) thyroid. He said I wasn't an emergency and I should go home.
However I felt something was up so I walked to the hospital at the other side of the street. The lady at the reception was shocked. The nurse who ran first tests was furious. The doctor who checked me said it was good I came in and listened to my intuition. Heavy urinary tract infection which was about to spread into my body yet the lab results didn't scream it right away. Doctor was shocked. I was shocked.
TL;DR basically the title
TamtheHam: IFU one time by taking too long to seek treatment for a UTI and ended up getting a kidney infection. Painful as hell. Glad you got the help you needed.
Whysocomplicat3d: Ah yeah I heard about how painful kidney infections are. Although I am kinda used to pain I definitely don't want to experience this 😂
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1656205360 | 1656207048 | t3_vksz2h | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally pouring acid on my dick
[deleted]
Korezen: I dont think water is good against acid to neutralize it?
chamberofcoal: Soap is basic, so it's good for getting rid of weak-ish acids. Probably a lot better than nothing.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1656206751 | 1656207697 | t3_vktdhi | t5_2to41 | 42 | KingCreeper7777: TIFU by helping my mom record a TV show clip
This just happened a few minutes ago.
I (18, male) was sitting in my living room playing some games with some friends, so I had my headset to talk to them as we played. They're nice headphones and I use them almost daily. Had them since last christmas, best headphones i've had so far. After playing with friends, I put the headphones down and played some good ol Sonic Adventure. After a while, I forgot the headphones were there, and my mom had me come into her room so she could get a clip from a netflix show as a video to send to someone, so I went in there and helped with that.
We have a 4 month old puppy. Despite having plenty of toys and cardboard and all of these interesting things around, he decides he's going to chew on my headset cords. When I came back out from my mom's room to keep playing, I'm met face first with a headset in a dog's mouth and a very separate cable. Very fun.
I just got out of school this month and dont have a job yet, and I only had money from graduation. I had already commissioned a 3D model that's pay on completion, which was already about $125, and the headset costs around $100, so now I'm not exactly sure if I can afford both anymore, but since I used the headset so often I feel like I may have to cancel the commission if things dont work out soon.
TL;DR: Left my nice headset on the couch, helped my mom record a clip of a Netflix show, came back to find our new dog chewed the cable on the headset
1feralengineer: $10 will buy you a soldering iron and some shrink tubing
KingCreeper7777: theres like 5 different wires coming out of the cable and some have their casing chewed off, it doesnt seem recoverable to me
1feralengineer: I can't imagine a scenario where they would be even difficult to repair. Definitely a life skill worth learning (and saving yourself boat loads of money every year)
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1656207749 | 1656208814 | t3_vktnwi | t5_2to41 | 95 | popppppet: TIFU by drinking too much baby syrup and now I’m glued to the toilet seat
So I was feeling a bit sick today and asked my fiancé to buy me baby syrup that I LOVED as a child. I cannot express how much I loved the taste of it when I was little. I would always beg my parents to give me more because it was so tasty but they never did, I would sneak around at night to get more that’s how much I loved it.
Well now that I’m an adult and sick i sent my fiancé to the pharmacy and begged him to get it. He did find it and I was so happy. I read the instructions and it clearly stated it becomes a strong laxative in excessive quantities. However since I’m a grown adult I figured it would be fine to drink the whole thing as I’m not a two year old baby. I drank the whole thing and it was AMAZING.
Well, it is now 3am and I have not stopped popping, my stomach is rumbling and its not going away. My fiancé is dying from laughter as I run to the bathroom for the 20th time.
TLDR: Drank a bottle of baby syrup that turns into a laxative if you drink too much and now I have diarrhoea and cannot go to bed.
MVSugar: Wtf is baby syrup?
Few_Carpenter_9185: Exactly my question...
ShadowMaven: Also curious.
| 4 | 23.75 | |
1656208272 | 1656541220 | t3_vkttb8 | t5_2to41 | 59 | dcforgie: TIFU by eating a whole bag of sour patches and now I'm constipated
I was a long day at work, I had a rough go. My numbers were bad and my mind was racing. I had bills to pay for, so I was stressed out. I decided to treat myself to a snack. Instead of eating a few pieces at a time, I ate chuck fulls of them, angrily. A little snack that was meant to help me relax ended up ruining my day. For hours I felt the urge to go number 2. But I couldn't. I was sweating profusely, begging God to take me out if the pain didn't stop. I visit my girlfriend tonight, and I just took a laxative. Before I reach her house, I felt the urge to go, and now I'm stuck in a gas station bathroom, hoping they didn't think I OD'ed. TL;DR I made a bad choice to eat a whole bag of sour patch gummies and now I'm fighting for my bowels in a gas station bathroom.
OkVolume1: Get yourself a jumbo size bag of haribo no sugar gummy bears to force the worms out of the wormhole.
LurksAroundHere: The commercials may show the Sour Patch gang being little rascals who cause mischief like cutting off your hair but the Sugarless Haribo Gang don't mess around. They will rip your ass a new one.
Moosebuckets: I’m in tears omg
| 4 | 14.75 | |
1656211828 | 1656257215 | t3_vkuulw | t5_2to41 | 14,878 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling the truth to my fiancé.
[deleted]
nNeuroticMonkey: Oh, that's bad. Is there any chance she's suffering from depression? Losing so many family members in such a short time could very well lead to depression, especially if you add the extra stress from covid and an upcoming wedding.
Also, she was probably well aware of gaining weight, but it's hard to hear from the person you love that they're not attracted to you anymore. Sit down with her and talk to her. Tell her that you love her, ask her how she feels and if there's anything you can do to help her (not with weightloss, in general).
Galrash: In my late 20s my (now ex) wife told me that I’d gained too much weight and she didn’t find me attractive anymore. It rocked me. Rationally I understood, and didn’t really blame her, but it hurt me way more than I thought it would and I started feeling really insecure in general for the first real time in my life.
I also made some changes and lost a bunch of weight in just a few months. We didn’t work out for other reasons, but to this day I don’t know if it was good or bad for me to hear that from the one person who’s supposed to love me for me and all that.
Edit- spelling
Edit 2 - This got a lot more reactions than I expected. I wanted to circle back after some thought and say that rationally I **absolutely** think that she was right to tell me, and that she did it in a respectful way and it had a positive impact on some aspects of our relationship. I wouldn't want someone to feel like that and *not* tell me. Irrationally, it was completely unexpected and hurt more than I'm proud of - and some of the insecurities it unlocked are still with me to this day. Not so much that I'm itching to go do cross-fit and devote my life to fitness, but enough that from time to time I see myself in a mirror and think about how that experience made me feel... and then maybe I avoid pizza for a while.
Gamer_Mommy: When I got pregnant with our second LO I purposefully gained some more weight than with my first. It was planned, husband knew about it and agreed that it was a good idea.
The reason I did it was because during my first pregnancy I gained a healthy amount of weight, but not something that doctors would consider too much. It was a mistake. Our firstborn was such a ravenous eater she made me go underweight (BMI under 18). I was eating 5 full meals a day + snacks. More than my husband. He tried matching me in my eating levels (gods know why). While I kept on loosing weight, he kept on gaining weight. I was the skinniest in my life back then, constantly cold, constantly tired and constantly hungry. Funnily enough our firstborn had a very healthy weight gain, she was around 50th percentile for weight and length. Nothing abnormal. She did breastfeed exclusively until 8 months old though. Stubbornly refusing solids (any solids) and any formula no matter how it was served (bottle/cup/spoon, etc.).
I was eating more than a marathon runner would and still couldn't keep my weight at a healthy level.
The moment we found out I was pregnant with #2 it was an instant decision that I would try to eat more during the pregnancy in case I would again end up with a ravenous baby that refused formula. It made me gain 5kg more than with my first baby, which I considered a total win. Except my husband didn't. He said I looked swollen and totally unattractive. So much so, he wouldn't even kiss me or cuddle me. Despite himself gaining a LOT more weight and actually never loosing it permanently. I am at a healthy weight now, with a BMI of 20. His is overweight, borderline obese.
Needless to say that, along many other things has damaged our relationship, but it wouldn't be so much of a problem if he would have a healthier BMI. In this case it was a pot calling the kettle black and frankly I had enough of his double standards.
lorealashblonde: I…what. I can’t believe there are people like this. I mean, I can, but…that is just horrible.
My ex gained 20kgs while we were together, and although I noticed (he was super ripped when we got together), it didn’t make me love him any less or make me any less attracted to him. I loved him and was attracted to him for who he was. I hate beards, but when he grew one I didn’t find him any less sexy (the feeling was gross while kissing, but whatever, I was kissing him). I accepted that it was his body and if he liked it, then I liked it.
I understand that people can have their own preferences, but if you love someone you love THEM. It’s okay to want them to be healthy, but if you’ve gone off them because of their appearance, I don’t think you truly loved them. And if that change in appearance is because you are CARRYING THEIR CHILD AND WANT THE CHILD AND YOURSELF TO BE HEALTHY - sorry, but they’re just an asshole.
You deserve better.
anotherrpg: This is exactly what I told my husband when he said the same thing about my weight gain during my pregnancy. He also told me he was not attracted to me anymore and that’s why he wasn’t physically intimate. But I told him if he truly loved me the physical appearance literally melts away and means nothing. I know because I’ve been in love with someone who I was not initially physically attracted to and all I wanted to do was touch him. He argued with me and said what OP said… I asked him what would happen if I got into a car accident and got disfigured? Would he still have sex with me? He basically said no, but that he’d still love me and stay with me. I’m still trying to digest this…
lorealashblonde: I’m so sorry that happened to you. The really fucked up thing is when it happens during pregnancy. It’s already a vulnerable time for you, and for your husband to say that…fucking cruel.
My mum told me once that my dad said some unflattering things about her body after she had given birth to my younger sister. It was 30 years ago, and although he has since grown up and apologized, she could not forget it. She told me she still feels insecure about it, though she would never bring it up.
I didn’t need to be told that she felt insecure, I saw it every day of my life. She used to rip the underwear sections out of our junk mail because she didn’t want my dad looking at other women :( it even affected me and my sisters growing up. I got my first makeup kit at four years old, and developed an eating disorder at 12. It’s taken me about 25 years to accept that I am more than my physical appearance, and I don’t need to strive for other peoples approval of it.
I know it’s cliche, but you are beautiful just as you are, and someone who loves you will see that no matter what, because they love YOU.
And all these people saying “physical attraction is important” - yes, it is. At first. You generally don’t get with someone if you’re not attracted to them. But if you love them, especially enough to marry them, then you love THEM, not just their body. Bodies change. People get old. People get into accidents. People can lose limbs, get cancer, lose their hair. If your love is based on purely physical attraction IT IS NOT LOVE.
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: Woman never let go of resentment
lorealashblonde: Which woman?
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: The woman in my life. (Wife, mother, daughter, co workers, bar keep at my local watering hole, sandwich maker at the deli etc)
lorealashblonde: Ew, your wife is both your mother and your daughter? Also, how is she managing all those jobs??
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: Only a woman could twist words around like that. Do you need it explained to you? Those are my different examples not the same person
lorealashblonde: Then you should have used the word “women”. It’s the plural. Woman refers to only one person.
But I wouldn’t expect a “men” like you to understand basic English.
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: English is my 2nd language so not perfect. Don't hold that resentment for too long
lorealashblonde: Don’t worry, I’ll go on with my life and you can continue trying to offend people on the internet! Hope you have fun :)
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: Haha only a woman would get offended by factual posts from strangers on the internet. Let go of those emotions/resentments
lorealashblonde: Yay, you learned the correct word! My job here is done.
I will send you an invoice for the English lesson.
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: And you would never let go of the resentment for not being paid.
lorealashblonde: No, never. It’ll be on my gravestone. “Pitiful Shoulder owes me $80 for teaching him the difference between ‘woman’ and ‘women’”
Pitiful_Shoulder_179: I wouldn't expect anything less
lorealashblonde: Yeah well I expect the $80
| 21 | 708.47619 | |
1656192985 | 1656267037 | t3_vkp22q | t5_2to41 | 54 | Future-Pudding: Tifu by teaching my puppy to pee down the drain
Okay so this story is gonna need some backstory to make sense.
Basically, I got a puppy a few months ago. I go to university in a different country and for the summer we travelled back to my home country and we’re staying at my parents house. Now at my apartment when you exit the building there’s a little grass field right there, which is very convenient for my pup to go on.
At my parents house however the nearest bit of grass is at the end of the street, which is a few minutes of walking away. Now if you’ve had a puppy you know that in the morning when they need to go, they need to GO. No time to walk a few minutes to some grass, she’s finding a spot and going the second we step outside. So, I don’t want her going on the sidewalk obviously right, and the middle of the street isn’t exactly a safe option either. So I had the ever so bright idea to try to teach her to pee down those drains at the side of the street so her pee wouldn’t inconvenience anyone.
Well that went great and she quickly realized that the drain is where she needs to go. However this backfired massively. So in my parents house we’ve got heating build into the floor, so in certain spots near the window there’s these wooden grate type of things covering it. Which look kind of similar to the drain outside, and I think you can see where this is going. My puppy now thinks we’ve got this very convenient doggy toilet inside the house. She’s already gone there twice, no warning either. We’re watching her like a hawk now and taking her outside way more often to break the habit. The funniest thing though is that she refuses to go in the backyard but she’s got no problem going inside now. She has also recently discovered the delicious buffet that is the cats litter box, she sure is a handful but I still love her regardless.
TL;DR Taught puppy to pee down the drain outside, mistakes heating inside for drain and now tries to pee there
ElectroStaticSpeaker: That's some funny and unfortunate shit. I'm not even sure how you would fix/clean that. Sounds messy. Are you now breathing in urine smell all day?
Future-Pudding: Luckily she’s young enough that her pee doesn’t have any odor at all yet to us. You can take off the wooden grate so we just soaked it up with paper towels and used some cleaner to clean it all up. It’s definitely the most inconvenient spot in the house for her to be having accidents though
| 3 | 18 | |
1656217062 | 1656255366 | t3_vkwc2d | t5_2to41 | 420 | thrwaway9932: TIFU by letting my dick trust her when my brain screams SCAM
I'm generally very aware of scams and how to avoid them. I don't get my computers and phones get infected with malware as I'm very well-versed in the different techniques scammers use social engineering to manipulate you into installing them. I am also informed about how people get scammed with text messages and emails, so when I get any of them I know instantly that it's a scam. If something sounds too good to be true, it's most likely a scam.
Yet, just several hours ago, I got horny and found someone off an app. Pretty and sexy girl, agreed for a hookup almost immediately. Then she said she doesn't expect any money or anything, but just pay for her taxi fare. I said okay come over. (Not to my house, but a nearby public landmark. Was planning to find a nearby motel.)
Then she said, can you send me the taxi fare in this app (it's an e-wallet locally used similar to Venmo). This is the point where my brain raised the first red flag. Dude, she's probably a scammer. Probably some old guy in a basement about to suck up your life savings.
I wanted to say just take the taxi and I'll pay the driver in cash. But then my dick went louder: She's hot and sexy!! I wanna be inside her thing now!! Dude just send her the money, it's only a little amount for taxi.
You guessed it, I listened to my DICK! Sent her the money and a screenshot. Alright, she says, booking now.
Few minutes later... Baby, it's not enough. Can you send me a bit more? I believed her this time even more despite the second red flag here, since the number she gave was very random like 87 instead of a nice round one like 50 or 100. (These are example numbers, not the actual amounts I sent her.)
So there you go, I sent that too. Although the service we use has never ever failed to send money (if it notifies that it sent successfully), she then lies and claims she didn't get the odd amount. Third and BIGGEST red flag. My brain is going nuts: STOP THIS NOW. But my nuts are saying: maybe this is the first time it actually failed. Just send again, anyway it's a small amount.
Then she rounded up the amount to a nice round one, and asked for that. There you go, third transfer goes forth. Screenshot sent.
"Thanks baby, I booked the taxi. It's 20 min away (WTF! Taxi's don't take that long, and this was late at night). I'm going to eat while waiting."
Few minutes later.. "Baby I'm hungry. Can you send me a little for my food?". As you know, my brain goes: RED FLAG AGAIN! Don't be a stupid idiot.
I wanted to test her, so I said: Okay if it's cash you need, I'll give you a lot more than what you're asking, but you gotta come down and meet me first. I'll give it to you in cash.
But she kept insisting she's hungry and need money. And this is despite me already sending enough money for like 3 taxi rides or something. So the cock brain of mine saying, c'mon man it's just a little money. I'll thank you a million when she's riding me later.
And there goes the fourth transfer. Thanks baby I'm eating now. Taxi's 15 minutes out.
Few minutes later.. taxi is 5 minutes away baby.
Another few minutes later.. baby the taxi fare is still not enough. Can you send a bit more?
At this point in time, I'm like okay, this is really getting out of hand. I have like ZERO evidence that she's actually doing anything she says she's doing (booking taxi, eating, being ready to go out, etc). So I said, show me the screenshot of the taxi booking. She ignored it. I said just tell the driver to go a shorter distance we'll meet in the middle. She said the booking can't be cancelled. I got a car, so we could do that and go to a motel. (btw: she initially refused to be picked up and insisted on booking herself a taxi).
At this point in time, I offered again, just come down and meet me, and I'll give you like 5 to 10 times in cash than you're asking by e-transfer. But I won't transfer again.
The moment I explicitly told her that I won't transfer anymore, she blocked me immediately. I felt shitty. I calculated the total of four transfers. Little drops make an ocean. I could have had 5 to 7 decent meals with it. But I was prepared to lose the money, so it didn't feel damning. Yes, losing money felt shitty but I didn't cry over it.
In the end I realized how much I fucked up by letting my dick brain think louder than my brain brain. I watched some porn to console myself, jerked off and slept.
TL;DR: I became a victim of sex-based swindling by sending an alleged girl multiple digital money transfers in exchange for a promised hook-up despite numerous red flags.
[deleted]: Dude, I spent over 800€ on a girl helping her getting on her feet. In the meantime she bought alcohol and fucked lots of dude, while I was dreaming about her.
Don't feel bad! We do stupid things, not just because of horniness but also loneliness
david0black: Don’t forget stupidness
[deleted]: You can get sick out of loneliness, so I don't judge people who give money trying to erase that
david0black: I was with you until you were going on about fucking other dudes. You have strong incel energy.
[deleted]: You don't know the full story, so I won't bother defending what I said
david0black: Yet here you are, replying.
[deleted]: It's just an info for the stud you are
david0black: And then?
| 9 | 46.666667 | |
1656218217 | 1656227874 | t3_vkwmzf | t5_2to41 | 4 | Ishzero: TIFU by living another day with my fucked life
I fucked up my life with gambling over the course of the past year and now I'm here a year later finally quitting deleting all my gambling apps and methods of getting to gamble because you know good and damn well they make it easy to come back and gamble your life away more. I Just wanted a good way to make money for fun. I was tired of working my shit job and with covid about I just kept going and going and going. I work in a restaurant so you know that shit was close for a bout a year and a half and even when things came back on line it was kinda like meh not much work. Ended up working two jobs to support my gambling habit which was some of the dumbest shit I've done in my life in retrospect. Had I taken a step back and just accepted "Hey ish ya dun fucked up and lost that $8grand you spent 5 years building up trading stocks. That good ol $3-$10 you started with yeah ya fucked up good but move on" I WISH I I wish I just didn't fuck up I wish I never gambled I wish I wish I wish I kept wishing and kept going back asking for help being clean from it for a while thinking I'd quit again and again and again until boom I'm here. Now I'm probably gonna loose my license tomorrow unless I can get insurance and send proof somehow in one day, but hey. Guess what?!?! I'm fucking broke because like proverbial fuck up I am I gambled my entire paycheck. AGAIN! Why? because I wanted to get enough money to fix my car and catch up on rent fix my car catch up on rent fix my car catch up on rent repeat repeat repeat... Ha ha Ha I hate myself for putting myself in this situation. Now when I ask for help no one will believe I could fuck up this bad or be so unware, but I really did and I was. I don't have anything going on and never really did. All I have is this maddening driver to just keep trying again and again and again over and over until I hopefully get things to go my way. I wish I just blew a few hundred on video games of going to the gym and trying different diets. STUFF I ACTUALLY ENJOYED DOING BEFORE THIS SHIT. I just wanted changed I wanted a home I didn't wanna keep being a fucking dishwasher anymore working a job no one respects. It's not even that I looked down on myself. I took pride in the fact that hey I'm here I'm going to work at a job I don't like to help my family out cuz xyz fuck ups my family did. Shit sucked at the start but I was making progress. I never thought I'd fuck up this bad with it. I really genuinely thought that I would just get super lucky after the first month of gambling losses get a big win that more than covered my losses and pull out go back to stocks invest and buy a fucking home quit my job and move on with my life never looking back at how I used to live. Nah that shit aint happen. I kept winning and loosing in a disproportionate ration, obviously too many losses to count. I only stopped this week because I've been trying to stop and it finally hit me after I fucking lost my paycheck. Hey I can just rent a car on uber and use it for door dash and make a good profit. AND HEY ITS ACTUALLY A LOT CHEAPER THAN YOU'D THINK TO RENT ONE SO DO IT. Yeah but with what money you fucking blew your shit wednesday when you got your early pay you dumb fuck. Yeah yeah but like It will be okay right? I can get a small loan if I get 1k karma on reddit go to r/borrow and ask for a loan. Someone will be kind enough to lend you a hand till next wednesday-friday when you get pay/early pay help you and fix yo shit. RIGHT?! Nah somethings gonna fuck up. Oh you mean like how your wifi router shit bricks? Nah more like how your manager pushed your shifts to the weekend and now you're stacked on doubles so good luck with door dash if you can even get it good luck fucker. HAHAH I hate myself why am I like this why do I do this to myself will I be okay going forward? I've always been like this but I've never fucked myself over period with my money till this year. Is there any redemption for me what can I do? Am I bad person should I just give up and off myself? what's the point in trying to come out of this anymore? I never had a life worth living anyway what's the point of it all? this post will probably get deleted. Too long too vulgar etc etc suicidal I'm not suicidal I just don't want to live anymore if I can't fix my shit I'm tired of being tired. I just want to fix my life.
TLDR: I fucked my life in one year. Kill me please.
'
noobnoob1800: First off, deep breaths man. You're certainly not a bad person over some bad decisions financially. I almost gambled away my future wife playing online blackjack in 2006, so I feel your pain. Your life is worth more than the money you lost.
I would suggest seeking help. If you're this deep into it and can't control yourself(which is nothing to be ashamed of. these things are meant to do just that), seek help immediately. I was able to quit with the help of the person I almost gambles away.
Next, I would invest in myself. go to school. learn a trade or get a degree in something you're interested in. Stop thinking anyone is going to easily get you out of a situation that you don't want to be in. They won't. period. they will make your life worse. What are you interested in? anything off the top of your head? Think about it deeply. that $8k would have gotten you some decent education or at least started you down that road. I know this seems easier said than done, but a local community college will accept you and get you going. you can apply for financial aid in the form of grants, but not loans. absolutely no loans.
DO NOT TAKE OUT ANY LOANS AT THIS TIME. getting that amount of money in your hands will not help, but hurt. you will be tempted beyond belief to gamble. get it under control, maybe then you can take out a loan. This will only lead to worsening conditions. I know you need the money. I know you're probably desperate. but this will not help in any form or fashion. please please please do not take out any more money that you don't have.
Lastly, REMEMBER THIS: THERE IS NO FREE PAYDAY.
I was there man. I was working in restaurants. slept in my car. Had no money and hated my life. I was able to turn it around because I was finally able to see what was important JUST before it walked out the door. and it took that to see it. Don't let that happen to you.
Ishzero: I have no capital to work with right now. I can double my income if I can at least rent a car for a week keep the ball rolling. I have 3 months of rent to repay and it's going to be 4 next week. My car has $10k worth in repairs and my credit score is below 500 and in delquent status. I already took out loans and maxed credit cards to gamble I did charge backs on bank accounts to get more money to gamble. I owe at least 20k in debt on top of the immediate $17k to fix my car and pay rent. I can't get a new or used car with how bad my credit is so I'm best off fixing the one I own. If I don't pay my rent soon it's not just me who's homeless it's my mother and two siblings. My mom works my siblings cannot and I don't expect them to work while they're in school. I'm not asking anyone to bail me out for free. I'm trying to get a loan so I can atleast start putting a net gain of money in my pocket every week or something. I know no one's gonna clear my debt for me but I'm gonna do what I can while I still have a place to live I just wanted to vent how badly I fucked up my life. Oh and I can't get mental help because those places I tried asking for it (gamblers annonymous) always tell me oh call this number or come back another time. Thyey even on a few occasions told me and I quote "Just stop gambling" :T Well I did stop and I'm broke and trying to fix things. My best bet is a small loan to rent a car so that's what I'm trying to do. It's sad that I have to try and get reddit karma jus tto get a loan but that's what I'm gonna do .
Successful_Pea218: Did you try calling the number they gave you? Help is out there man. I know it's probably feels impossible right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can find a way to recover from this.
| 4 | 1 | |
1656223842 | 1656260017 | t3_vky2id | t5_2to41 | 24 | dissapperingboy: TIFU by leaving my window open
This happened in the span of 6 hours today. I live in the deep south, which means there are a metric shit ton of bugs around this time of year for those not in the know. I also live in a second floor studio apartment.
So this afternoon I opened my window as it was a nice day. I originally planned to shut it before I went to bed. Long story short my dumbass forgot. I went to go get dinner and came back. When I came back I completely forgot about the window and went through my nightly routine and got undressed and ready for bed. After a couple hours I dozed off blissfully unaware of the horror that was awaiting.
Fast forward to around 15 minutes ago I woke up due to my arm feeling rather itchy. I quickly stumble into my bathroom to find that I have been covered in mosquito bites. Most of the bites are on my right arm. I have around 40 bites between my arms, chest, stomach and sides. The only reason I don’t have any on my face is I slept with my pillow over my head in an attempt to drown out my noisy neighbors.
I quickly remembered the open window and rushed into my bedroom and turned on the light. At the first sign of illumination my eyes got to see an amount of bugs akin to the third plague of Egypt in my apartment (In all actuality it was like at most 40-60 bugs). A minority of this swarm decides it hungers for my flesh and flies at me. I immediately nope out of my room and tactically retreat to my bathroom, whilst flailing my arms like an idiot at the onslaught of bugs.
I’m now taking refuge in my bathroom while trying to decide the best course of action of either leaving the window open and hoping the bugs leave or close the window and hope raid does the trick.
TL;DR: I’m dealing with the 3rd and 6th plagues of Egypt.
gypsyturtle62: This is the stuff of nightmares.
How did you solve the bug problem OP?
dissapperingboy: I’m probably going to have to either freeze my apartment or go get a non aerosol bug spray as I’m not trying to set off the fire alarms. I shut my window for now but may open it tomorrow to see if they clear out.
gypsyturtle62: Release tons of spiders to eat the bugs... trap and release spiders when they're fat from eating too much
The-Rel1c: Bring in birds to eat the spiders eating the bugs.....leave window open so birds can fly away when done.
anantnrg: intelligent bastard
| 6 | 4 | |
1656224952 | 1656246382 | t3_vkyc7a | t5_2to41 | 4 | RiledWolf74: TIFU by making a stupid, poorly worded attempt to start a conversation
I was at a bar tonight celebrating my buddy's bachelor party and while I am sitting there minding my own business, a very beautiful woman comes up to talk to me. Forewarning, I have never been approached by a woman so I was already feeling incredibly awkward. She asked me if I took a Women's Studies class with her and I told her I didn't. This is where the fuck up happened. Wanting to strike up a conversation but trying to do it in a casual way (being the awkward and overthrowing idiot I am) I say, "So what do you learn about in Women's Studies besides like women" (the joke being that the woman part of Women's Studies is obvious) and I notice an immediate shift in tone. Now I would like to think of myself as a feminist and feel like I'm fairly well aware of the struggles women regularly face, but my stupid freaking brain decides to spit out that crapoy sentence and paint me as a misogynist who thinks Women's Studies is a joke (again, I don't). She goes on to explain how it is about the 100 years of women suffering and I know nothing can save me from this so I apologize and say "I'm sorry, I feel I totally came across wrong, I completely agree with everything you're saying and I didn't mean to sound like a dick." She then says, "Well you're not the guy I was thinking of anyways" so I shook her hand and said "It was nice talking to you, have a good night". So, moral of the story, I'm just going to be content dying alone with my self-sabotaging butt.
TL;DR I made a stupid, poorly worded attempt at casually striking up a conversation and struck out hard.
Puzzleheaded_Popup: On the lighter note, if she was interested she have she seemed a bit serious! However, If you walk up to a girl and said. Do you take “(fill in your academic classes here)… same situation reversed…..maybe you dodged a bullet…they might be like wtf….too…however if its a local place maybe you can brush up on the topic and reproach her with this and ask her some questions and make up something like you had a bad day, or be blunt you approaching me stunned me into being unable to speak..your highly attractive and well felt a moment of …(fill in the blank) ask a question about some topics you read about, but want her views…..maybe
RiledWolf74: I'm not really from around this area so I kind of doubt I'll ever see her again. I'm just going to take solace in the fact that I'm awkward as hell and at a different time I might have been able to maintain a nice conversation. Crappy part is afterwards all I could think about were the millions of other things to say lol
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1656226893 | 1656314705 | t3_vkyte6 | t5_2to41 | 97 | [deleted]: TIFU by being horny, kinky, and risky
TIFU: By being horny and a little kinky
For the last few months I been horny. You know how it is. Recently I found some NSFW subreddits that are into bdsm. Specifically being dominated.
Usually I am good at keeping my personal information close and not letting it get out of hand because I know there are tons of scammers out there
The fuck up: I don’t know much about WhatsApp. I was unaware that when you send someone your QR code that your phone number would show up. I was texting with someone I didn’t realize was a scammer and they asked for QR code. Me being a naive and horny guy sent it to them without thinking. I then proceeded to do some ‘tasks’ I’m video form.
A short while later they ask for money so I block them. Lo and behold: they have my phone number. They found out who I was and threatened to send the video if I don’t send them money. So I led them on for about an hour while I privatized my accounts until I found an old Facebook account that I couldn’t remember the email or password to.
Eventually I ended up blocking them but they kept sending screenshots through new accounts with my friends and families names.
Instead of giving them any money, I have texted my fam and made a post on Facebook warning people I had been catfished and to no open any videos.
Currently it is 2 am and I have no idea if the scammers have sent the videos or not, but I will keep you guys updated
tldr; I was horny and got risky with it. Scammers have my information and are threatening to send a video of me to friends and family
Rosey991: Yikes
[deleted]: Yeahhhhhhh. Lesson learned. Won’t be doing that anymore
Great-Gazelle-4586: I mean by all means do it just make sure it's with someone you trust and not someone you just met
| 4 | 24.25 | |
1656227922 | 1656322956 | t3_vkz28i | t5_2to41 | 372 | obviously_99: TIFU by improperly unloading a revolver
So I was at my friends farm and we were doing some target practice. I brought my own .22 cal revolver which thankfully I didn't use his due to what happens later.
I loaded 6 rounds and emptied them(or atleast I thought I did)
To unload the bullets, they need to be pushed out of the barrel hole one by one which is a pain but you gotto do it that way. It's a cheap piece and it doesn't have the barrel eject and unload altogether like some revolvers.
So I go on to unload piece by piece when BANG! my finger somehow pulled the trigger firing a live round. I felt a throbbing pain in my palm and I didn't realize WTF happened... at first I thought I shot myself in the hand because my palm was bleeding so I turned my hand over and didn't see a bullet hole. I realized later it was just a probably 2-3 mmr gash that was where the blood was coming from. I tried rotating the barrel on the revolver and it was jammed stuck, no matter what I tried it wouldn't move or come loose. Then I realized what I did....
Sometime during the manual unloading process while barrel was rotating holding the live round, I had pulled the trigger right when the cartridge was facing the edge of the chamber, but not the whole inside of it. Yup, the round didn't go through the barrel, rather it shattered and fragmented on the edge of the outside of the chamber sending shrapnel through that small gap between the barrel and chamber into my palm. This caused the gun to jam and I'm positive that its dysfunctional now.
My friend was standing at the side, had no clue and I didn't even want to tell him. I grabbed my backpack, threw the revolver in with the safe on this time, grabbed some alcohol wipes which I had handily brought with me to clean the blood from my hand and told him I wanted to fire the rifles now! 🤣🤦♂️
The rifles were much more safe to shoot even though the revolver was more fun.
I guess the moral of the story is dont buy cheap firearms and even if you do, make sure the safety is on whenever not firing.
tl;dr:
Bullet exploded in barrel while unloading without safe causing damage to hand and jamming of gun
Edit**- So I was wrong with gun anatomy and what I'm refferring to as barrel, I actually mean cylinder. Thanks for correcting me.
Engineer22030: No. The moral of the story is twofold: 1. Do not use any firearm without having a complete understanding of its particular characteristics and safe use, and 2. Always follow the four basic rules of firearm safety.
The revolver is not at fault here. Revolvers ordinarily do not have an external "safety" switch, but may have other safety mechanisms such as a half-cock hammer position. You need to understand the proper safe loading/unloading procedure for your particular revolver.
In addition to being unfamiliar with safe operation of your revolver, it sounds like you failed to follow one of the basic safety rules:. "Keep Your Finger Off the Trigger until You are Ready to Shoot"
[https://www.nssf.org/articles/4-primary-rules-of-firearm-safety/](https://www.nssf.org/articles/4-primary-rules-of-firearm-safety/)
You are lucky. Consider how badly this might have turned out, and let that be motivation to get proper training on how to safely use your revolver.
TimelyEvidence: All of this. It’s so fucked that the US doesn’t require people to take firearm safety courses before purchasing a gun.
PrettyLilPeacock: Amen. Gun ownership is a constitutional right. Why is firearms safety not still taught in school?
AlcareruElennesse: Because a lot of people are scared of guns and think all of them should be taken away from everyone. I recall a study putting kids alone in a room with an unloaded gun, and the kids whose parents have guns taught them gun safety and to leave it alone and they did not touch it, while kids of parents who don't own guns and were not taught gun safety picked it up and played with it. So kids who are taught gun safety are safer than the kids of parents who avoided all talk of it.
Yes I am an American, but sadly common sense is not as common as it should be. That's why the FOUR RULES OF GUN SAFETY are so important as it prevents most mishaps like this.
1. Treat all guns as loaded.
2. Never point them at anything you are not willing to destroy.
3.Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on your target.
4. Be sure of your target and what is behind it.
Now let's add on some more to these basic rules.
5. Know how to operate and clear your firearm safely so you or someone you know or a random person don't come to any harm.
6. Know basic first aid and how to treat wounds. As negligent discharges happen if you break these rules. Now if you keep them aimed away and at the ground it is less likely to cause an injury but better to be safe then sorry or unalived....
Though OP I'd save up for a better firearm as you never should go cheap on a firearm. As it is of prime importance that your firearm is of sufficient quality that it is very dependable, and easy to make it safe, and to load and unload rounds safely.
May this be your wakeup call to do better at these rules as going target shooting can be fun, but get lax or careless and it will happen again and no one wants to win a Darwin Award.
Stay safe and have fun.
Stalagmus: It being a Constitutional right is all well and good, but let’s not being common sense into it. Is having 400,000,000 guns floating around the US common sense? Is having them be insanely easy to purchase common sense? Is refusing to treat an obvious public health issue as a public health issue common sense? I don’t want to take peoples guns away, that ship has sailed and it ain’t happening so you can breathe easy. But pretending like the US’ single-minded infatuation with firearms is anything close to resembling common sense is absurd.
cotysaxman: I like how the 'children of parents who own guns are safer' argument requires the premise that there's a gun available and in reach of all children.
Do they not realize that children of parents who don't own guns are inherently safe from all of the guns that aren't in their home in the first place?
It's like saying children of heroin users are safer from overdoses than children of non-addicts.
AlcareruElennesse: Most gun owners are good and teach their kids gun safety and they keep the guns locked up, the gun in reach of the kids was a study by scientists looking at which kids were more likely to play with a found gun. Those of lawful gun owners or those of non gun owners.
MamaTyg: The percentage of owners who aren't responsible manage to make sure we keep hearing news about small children accidentally killing their parents or siblings with alarming frequency.
| 9 | 41.333333 | |
1656226074 | 1656659615 | t3_vkym1j | t5_2to41 | 17 | I_Am_YungAce: TIFU by lying about hearing problems
I do not have hearing problems just an FYI
I went to pickup my food before I started my shift and I was greeted by a very pleasant African gentleman with a thick accent. I stood in line behind him as he was getting his food and he struck up a conversation with me, in which I happily struck back as he seemed pretty cool. I had a lot of trouble understanding him and mentioned I was having difficulty understanding what he was saying... in which he replied "Oh you struggle with hearing loss?" In the heat of the moment in an attempt not to offend him I simply replied "uhhh...yea" lol.... and THEN the conversation continued... his wife also struggles with this he mentioned, and he began interrogating me on how I became hearing impaired... so I start sweating bullets and I just reply "idk it just happened, I guess. I have never gone to the doctor for it" and tried changing the subject but he insisted lol.. *he said in his very thick accent* "How did you know it happened, you are born like this?" as I was in quite the pickle unable to answer his questions thankfully the server at the counter bailed me out, offering me my to go dinner and I graciously grabbed my dinner then hastily wished my newfound African friend goodbye but before I could leave he followed me to my truck and gave me the business card of his wife's doctor... then wrote his number on the back for me in case I had any questions on getting myself examine by a hearing professional and whatever help/comfort they can provide.
I felt awful lying but I couldn't force myself get out of it so I made it worse lol... That gentleman was a sweet gentle soul and I'm sure his wife is as well. You don't meet very many people that genuine.
TLDR: Had trouble understanding a gentleman with a very thick accent, so I told him I had hearing problems. To my surprise so does his wife, he insisted on asking me questions about my "hearing problems" then proceeded to give me his contact info in case I needed help.
Moosebuckets: Man loves his wife
I_Am_YungAce: Twas very heartwarming
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1656231118 | 1656264515 | t3_vkzth0 | t5_2to41 | 16 | ramuktekas: TIFU by smoking weed and driving to the beach
Happened a few days ago. My (M20) cousin (F20) from nearby city wanted to try weed, which I promised to make it happen but I couldn't fix a schedule or something.
It so happens that my parents were leaving for some work for a week and my brother (M21) was leaving for college for around three days for the weekend. Since it was my summer break so I was staying at home.
I had got my hands on fresh new stuff which even I had not tried so I thought why not share it with her too.
That day I dropped my parents to the airport and she came over around 12. At around 6pm we rolled and smoked 1 joint and I was already high. But not her, because that was her first time.
She wanted me to make another, and she had earlier expressed her desire to go to the beach which is 10 miles away, to which I said why not? So I rolled another joint but I suggested we smoke it at the beach.
Now the thing, we could take the train which would take time or uber which would be costly. She said lets drive, to which I said why not?
Everything was going fine, we were about to reach, I was driving at like 50 and a cat jumped in front of the car. I was driving on the right lane on highway I couldn't stop to check, but it probably died.
If that moodkiller wasnt enough, I got a parking fine at the beach too. Plus, he also got a picture of the car and my stupid cousin standing near it. She didn't tell anyone that she was coming. Now the fine plus the picture would be sent to my dad to whom the car is registered.
And if that wasnt enough, when I got out to show the liscence, the keys got locked inside the car. My spare keys were at home 10 miles away. We took a taxi at 10 pm. Got home. Left her and came back with taxi, by that time it was enough traffic, got a double fine because corrupt officers.
Last good thing happened was I picked up one my friends from hostel (my college is close to my home, and hostels are mandatory) who wanted to try the new stuff. We had some tea near the local store and drove back to my home. We reached around 2 am. Smoked and slept off.
Just remember this, everytime getting out of the car, please make sure you got the keys.
Tldr: Smoked weed, drove to beach, killed a cat, got a parking ticket, got keys locked inside car so I had to pay for double uber for 20 miles, had to bribe officer.
joepjah: Driving high is a no.
You didn't even know what kind of weed you had nor hoe it would hit. Bad idea.
You killed a cat while driving high. (Weed decreases your reflexes, so I'm just gonna assume you could have prevented it).
You more than deserved a double fine.
And the lesson you share is "don't leave your keys inside your car"?
I'm sorry man, but it's people like you who make roads unsafe. Cocky, inexperienced and under influence. Sure way to get yourself or others killed, please be more responsible.
ramuktekas: Yeah I know this was a fuckup, but the cat wasn't on the ground, it hit the hood directly.
I guess had I seen the cat from far away I could have slowed down but fast reflexes couldn't have helped
Limp_Delivery2934: Wait, now I'm interested, please elaborate. How did cat end up on hood?
ramuktekas: So there is this road divider, which is like 3 feet high. On that there were bushes and lamps, where the cat apparently was.
I was driving right next to the divider and the cat jumped. It did not land on the centre of my hood but towards the edge, so it couldn't get a firm ground to stand. I dont think it can be called landed. It was mid air when I hit.
Also I had seen cats crossing the road. So even though the road was empty ahead, technically I should have known the possibility of a cat being on the divider. I usually slow down in these cases if I am unsure but maybe it was the effect of weed that made me forget.
Limp_Delivery2934: Sorry, but this sound insane to predict. It's like predicting that a drunk person will go on to the road right in front of you. If you didn't speed too much, there was nothing you could have done anyway on the road there. But given all the previous information, yeah. Driving under influence isn't the best of ideas.
| 6 | 2.666667 | |
1656227742 | 1656238773 | t3_vkz0py | t5_2to41 | 6 | amu_sam: TIFU By not looking at time of my exam
I had an exam today. One of the few subjects I paid attention to . In general I am not In a good state of studies. 2 other subjects gave me absentee status and I didn't study for others much. My dad's paying the college fees and my cost of living here in college (dorm, food, etc)
I'm having problems studying and focusing.
Today, I woke up, read scripts a bit and got out of room. Looking for classmates to give me a ride to exam location. No one's responding. I am annoyed. So I decided to walk. Walking and seeing others coming back to dorm in car. Thinking they have had another exam. I keep on walking. It's sunny and I'm sweating. I am close to the place and see another classmate walking back. I greet him and he asks me what exam do I have. I responded and I got informed the exam just finished. I take out my card and see it's true. The exam started at 8:30 while I was thinking 10:30. So after realizing without any display of shock, madness or regression I say "oh, Ok. let's walk back together" classmate tells me it's ok while I don't care at all. I am in a state of numbness. Showing fake happiness and trying to forget about it.
I don't really know what to do with my life.
Tl ;dr : I didn't check the time for exam, went late and my life sucks.
Ruben1603: Are you certain there's no way you can sit this exam? Or will your teacher allow you to sit it at the 10:30 time if you haven't heard anything from peers?
Or is it a national exam - in that case are there resits where you can sit the exam to get a better grade
amu_sam: I did contact the teacher, he said he's fine helping me out but it's the University higher ups who decide. and they said no, semester final exams happen once. It's a dumb system and I should take the subject another semester again.
| 3 | 2 | |
1656234679 | 1656286528 | t3_vl0o3n | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by fucking too well
[removed]
CrankyUncleMorty: Not much you can do. Threesomes don,'t play out as well as people would think most of the time.
Zeek86: I know myself to well, what's mine is mine and I don't share with others. I never could understand people who wanted to share their spouse, to me it would be the biggest disrespect to them and the relationship, I cringe just reading this story. I think this also is also why I view cheating/cheaters as vile humans.
CrankyUncleMorty: I have had relationships that were open and those that were closed. Honestly, adding anyone to a relationship adds drama.
| 4 | 15.5 | |
1656244118 | 1656282429 | t3_vl307o | t5_2to41 | 34 | Trapped_Mechanic: TIFU by Calling 911
So, this actually happened Wednesday or Thurday last week so it isn't *technically* today but I hadn't really planned on sharing this story, but my family has insisted I at least post it online for moral reasons, I suppose?
Me and my wife tend to do most activities together; In today's case, that included grocery shopping. We had planned to go to Publix and pick up a few things for the week, but acknowledging that one spends more on an empty stomach, my wife really wanted to go out to eat before we shopped and suggested a pepper-themed chain restaurant. Excited to have an excuse not to cook tonight, we went.
Our meal itself was rather mediocre; I got a burger that was passable and my wife got a fajita. As it came time to pay for the bill, my wife stepped away asking for a box and went to the restroom. I started to pay the bill through the table device, but suddenly heard an explosion; at first thinking it a kitchen explosion but shortly finding myself on the floor realized it was something else.
Truly, in the moment, it felt like a bomb exploded. Luckily where I was seated, I was protected from harm, but had a front row seat to a van crashing into the side of the building which was accompanied by screaming and calling for help. (For a moment, I half expected someone to come out shooting and my adrenaline was racing...) As I regained composure, I pulled out my phone and dialed 9-1-1.
Several moments passed as the phone rang- I walked outside and actually met with another customer trying to call 9-1-1 who couldn't get through and realized that we probably had *several* people in the building calling and overloading the lines (or that we just have too few 911 operators) but shortly after, an operator answered me.
In my haste, I told them a car had crashed into the building I was dining in and that we definitely had *some* number of injuries. Upon being asked if we needed an ambulance, I scrambled to ask nearby patrons if they thought we needed one (the answer, in retrospect was obviously yes, if for no one else than the driver) but they told me to say yes so I complied. I was asked for my name and then asked to pass my phone to the store manager, who had actually just happened to arrive in front of me.
This is where things take a bit of a branch; I was in a state of panic; I still hadn't seen my wife since the accident occurred was on autopilot- I didn't think much of handing over my phone to the manager of the restaurant despite the fact that *it was also my wallet* (Foreshadowing) because I was worried about the current situation. I stayed outside, away from the chaos for a few minutes as I calmed down and emergency services began to arrive.
Around this time, I began to worry because I hadn't seen my wife in about 5 minutes since the accident and began to conjure some fairly gruesome imagery in my mind about what had happened to her so I went inside to start asking for her- luckily I met her exiting the bathroom as I questioned the staff and we went outside to collect ourselves. About this time emergency services began to arrive and we started to calm down.
As the fire department asked us if we needed to be medically inspected (to which we could luckily reply no), I started to wonder where my phone/wallet was so I could leave. As the situation from the outside began to seem more controlled, I went inside and asked employees if I could have my phone back.
I'll be honest, the response I got for this question was rather unexpected; I was looked at with suspicion and hesitation. I was asked to wait while they got hold of the manager who did not speak with me directly, but I did overhear saying "I set the phone down somewhere when they asked me to move the table..." So you can kind of figure where my head was at around this time.
Shortly after this, an employee met me at the door and told me, paraphrasing here; "I have been told that I should take your phone number and we will contact you as soon as we find your phone". and I immediately bust out laughing "how are you going to call me if you have my phone?" I explained that I would remain outside the building but would not leave until I had my phone back (as it contained my credit cards, driver's license, ect)
As we waited, my wife insisted on calling my phone and skulking through the building trying to find it (Personally, I didn't expect much from this because it was on silent/vibrate) but claimed she heard it near the front of the lobby. As she asked around, there was a man sitting at the bar who asked what we were doing and my wife explained that she was looking for my phone; he asked if I was in the military (I had an expired CAC card in my wallet) and exclaimed that he had found my phone on the floor and had been concerned that I was under the car and was waiting by to deliver my phone to any person who knew me or could deliver it to me. I was handed my phone/wallet and immediately opened it and noticed that the about 100USD in it had been pocketed by someone in this chaos, though all of my cards (including a 200USD gift card I had just gotten for my birthday) were present still.
I thanked the man for returning my phone and with my wife left in a hurry. I've thought long about the whole ordeal and I don't want to blame the man who returned my phone to me for robbing me, and if I had to pick a person would blame the manager- they were responsible for my phone in an emergency and, speaking for myself, would not set down another person's phone- I would have *pocketed* it (they were in charge of it at the very least), but at the end of the day I just accepted that I had handed my wallet with 100USD to a stranger and expected a positive outcome. It was a chaotic situation and I accept full blame, but I still am at least somewhat upset that someone would use a situation as chaotic as that to rob someone trying to do good, but it is what it is.
TLDR: A car crashed into a restaurant me and my wife were eating at and in the chaos, I gave my phone/wallet to the manager and was robbed $100USD
(Sorry it's so long. I tried to keep locations and store names out of it but this *has* made the news and proof could be provided if necessary)
ElectroStaticSpeaker: That sucks but at least you got the phone back. Seedier people would've just absconded with it. And honestly, if I had truly lost my phone I would pay $100 to get it back without much additional thought. Still frustrating what kind of assholes people can be and how they can so easily just take shit from others and not feel any guilt.
Trapped_Mechanic: I completely agree. I've been told to go complain to the Chili's or whatever but frankly I'm just going to take my lumps and count my blessings. Replacing my phone and all the cards in my wallet would have been much, much worse.
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1656251398 | 1656271659 | t3_vl55dm | t5_2to41 | 27,565 | zyzz_brah20: TIFU by getting so drunk I (27M) couldn't stop my gf from ghosting me and talking to other guys all night. And then I ruined everyone's night by getting mad and almost ending up in a fight?
So I'm in this super embarrassing situation rn. Gf (27F) and I (27M) of 8 years went out last night with a group of her friends. I'm visiting my gf after being in a LDR thing since 1 and a half year and it's just my 4th week here.
Anyways, all of us had been drinking all day, I pregamed heavier than everyone else. We go out to this club and my gf says to me infront of all her friends, "Can I have random guys buy me drinks tonight?" To which I replied "Ofcourse if I can buy random girls drinks tonight?". Which to me at the time felt like an appropriate response. The rest of the night I literally saw my gf go from guy to guy. Just talking to them, while I looked on, honestly disappointed that my gf isn't here using this opportunity to speak to me or spend time with me, or dance with me. Anyways, I was definitely the most hammered out of everyone, and her actions hurt me alot. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't wanna cause a scene infront of her friend group who I had met literally for the first time two days ago. But my displeasure quickly was evident on my face. Her guy friends then pulled me to the side and would tell me shit like it's fucked up what she's doing but also take my gfs side saying she's not like this ever. During all this chaos one of her girls goes up to her while she's been talking to this guy for 15 mins and grabs her. She pulled her off that guy 3 times and told her your bf doesn't look happy. That's when the guy she was talking to grabbed my gf by her wrist, and then at that point I lost my shit, tried walking up to all of them, and said "yo guys whats wrong". I had like 3 of her friends at this moment hold me back because they thought I was gonna smack the guy or something. Anyways this ruined everyone's vibe and the night. And we went home shortly after. I was definitely drunk, underslept and not at my sharpest. But did I deserve to be ignored the entire night by my gf at a night out with her friends? It just felt so mean of her, she didn't talk to me or dance with me all night. I know I could have pulled her off those guys myself at any moment, but I just didn't think I'd ever be in a relationship where I have to do something like this while I'm in the same damn room as my partner. I feel so humiliated and hurt about last night. I really need advice about how to navigate this situation from here. Today's the last day of our trip and then we head home. I don't want my gfs friends thinking less of her because of me. I also don't think I wanna be in this relationship anymore. Am I over reacting?
P.S if you're gonna say, I should have gone up to other girls and bought them drinks that's just not the vibe I'm in ever, when I'm out with my girl.
TL;DR : gf was talking to random guys at the club infront of me. Got me feeling like shit. How the eff do I navigate this one?
Edit: so I wrote this first thing when I woke up in the morning while everyone one was still sleeping. The main reason was that I expected her friends to wake up and just take her side and tell me how I overreacted last night. So I just wanted to see what the general consensus on reddit was, that is why I posted the same post in a bunch of subreddits, I needed some opinions on this ASAP. I didn't expect this post to blow up the way it did. Those of you that went through my post history, and wondered whether I'm just phishing for karma, or making up stories. I love how my everyday life seemed like fiction to a bunch of you. 😅
I promise nothing I write on here is ever made up or exaggerated. This is not even my main reddit account, its a throwaway account, that I used to talk about my relationship only when things get super toxic and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel crazy and somehow writing on here has become therapeutic for me. It has also become a way for me to document, the major shit storms that I have been going through. And the frequency with which they happen. Idk whether documenting anything will ever come in handy, but it's advice that a bunch of people gave me previously. Incase I ever find myself in some deep shit where I need to prove my side of the story.
UPDATE:
Anyways, coming to today. None of her friends brought up what happened last night. I think it was them being respectful or giving me my space. Me and my gf, talked before we went out for breakfast with everyone. She was super apologetic today. It was alot of the usual. She cried alot. She swore that she and the guy at the bar werent flirting and apparently they were discussing Roe vs Wade. I mean fuck me right. 😂My phone kept blowing up all day today. I read alot of your messages and comments. And I really appreciate all of you that took the time to write your replies and give me your opinions.
I wasn't really in a very social mood today at their group breakfast...And after last night I just didn't give enough fucks to be extra nice to her friends like I usually am. That made my gf very upset. And when we finally got home. We talked about everything for hours and hours. We cried alot. Her tears are my kryptonite. I know I talk about wanting to break up in alot of my posts. But if it was easy I would have successfully done it by now. We have tried ending this relationship hundreds of times. Today she said if I ever want out of this it has to be me who has to end it. She also admitted to her mistake.. I think it was probably her friends who made her realize that. I have also ended relationships for a lot less in my life. It's just this girl, that I can't live with or without.
I talked to her about wanting to break up and move out. She cried and begged me not to go until my trip is over. I honestly don't know what the future of this relationship holds for me or what I'm gonna do. I told her about my reddit post blowing up today. And she has asked me not to use reddit to discuss our relationship anymore. Because apparently she says it's a toxic space where I get brainwashed... 🙄
Oh and one thing I forgot to add earlier which I think is important. I didn't get shit faced because of just the alcohol. I had been spacing my self and drinking all day and I was feeling great. Until one of the people in our group offered me a THC vape. I was like fuck it why not. I took 3 drags, waited around for 15 mins felt nothing. Then my stupid ass took 3 more. And then after 5 mins, everything hit me together. I was drunk and high at the same time. And everything was moving hella slow for me.. that's also why I was so lazy getting from one place to the other. And this was me at 10pm. I spent the entire night drinking water and redbull trying to sober up a bit. And figure what the fuck is happening.. and then yeah shit hit the fan. When I almost got into a fight.
TL;DR: sorry that got a bit long. Just an update for the people that asked.. and uh I guess update is their is no update, she apologised and cried alot. I'm still with her.
NotSoNiceO1: If she was doing that all night with you there, imagine what she was doing without you there for 1.5 years.
zyzz_brah20: Her girls came up to me an hour after we got home. And that's the exact same thing i said to them. And her girls were swearing up and down for her. Saying she's always been loyal af. What a shit show. 😅
CazRaX: Dude, girls will ALWAYS back up their friends, it doesn't mean a damned thing. The only time they will give up a friend is when the friend has pissed them off.
FG88_NR: People in general are like this. We tend to defend our friends for some of their shitty behaviour. It's as if it's some sort of "code" when really we're just enabling poor behaviour and trying to avoid getting in the mix of things to the point that it can be flipped on us.
Mithrawndo: Absolutely! I mean... it's even so famous amongst *men* that the phrase "bro's before (w)ho'es" is widely known.
Then as you get older, you realise that the real hack is just "Do unto others".
Sillyvanya: Hoes isn't a misspelling of whose
And that's not the point of the saying at all. It's an admonishment to not abandon your friends just because you've got a romantic entanglement. Which most of us tend to do, so it's valid
"Do unto others" also doesn't have anything to do with anything being talked about here
Mithrawndo: Hoes is AAV for Whores, [the etymology is widely accepted](https://www.reddit.com/r/etymology/comments/87og4p/how_did_the_garden_hoe_turn_into_the_slur_hoe/). As I am neither African nor American, it would be appropriative for me to use that word that way. It also isn't a word in my own vernacular *at all*.
I think the saying can be interpreted your way *as well*, not that it's one or the other.
"Do unto others" is directly relative to the interpretation of "Bro's before..." that you do not accept, and so likely this discussion fizzles out with agreeing to disagree on that point.
Sillyvanya: Holy shit, imagine treating AAVE as some sacrosanct, untouchable aspect of Black identity that you're unworthy to even use. That attitude is cringe and racist as hell.
And no, that's what the saying means. Just because you misinterpreted it doesn't make your take on it valid. Bros before hoes only ever means don't abandon your friends for a fling. It occasionally is used as a misogynistic dig at the integrity of women in general, but this interpretation is false as well
Mithrawndo: What's race got to do with it? I'm not a Cockney, so I'm not going to speak or type like a Cockney either.
I think you're projecting your own biases here, son.
Sillyvanya: You're literally telling an American that you know his culture better than he does.
Sit back down.
Mithrawndo: What? I'm literally telling an American how this non-American interprets something.
Nice failed mic drop, bruh.
Sillyvanya: No, you're trying to paint your misinterpretation of a saying as a valid use of it, and doubling down with pointless sophistry because you don't want to be wrong.
Mithrawndo: Whilst I'd argue you're an lingual objectivist, and that no interpretation that can be reasoned is incorrect.
The burden remains on you to counter the etymology of "whore" to "hoe", so unless you intend to weigh in on the very thing you objected to... you can kindly get in the sea.
Sillyvanya: ... why would I do that? You left the R out in your original comment and I misunderstood what it was supposed to be, but that's hardly material to the rest of the argument that you don't understand the saying. Again, pointless sophistry.
An outsider to the culture doesn't have any grounds to argue that their esoteric, alien interpretation of an element of it should be accepted as valid. AGAIN, pointless sophistry.
[Kindly get set adrift.](https://youtu.be/P1N-mAdTrLY)
Mithrawndo: Gatekeeping too now, huh?
Keep diggin'.
Sillyvanya: "A = A and A =/= B? Wow, gatekeep much?
Mithrawndo: My, your memory is short:
> An outsider to the culture doesn't have any grounds
Regardless, your attitude makes plain you consider me an idiot; Why would you continue to argue with an idiot?
Sillyvanya: I don't consider you an idiot. I'm actually under the impression you're fairly intelligent. I just also consider you *stubborn.*
But yes. You = an outsider, someone not inside the ever-changing system which created the saying and not continually acting upon and getting acted upon *by* that culture. As such, you fundamentally lack a true sense of the context and implications of how it's used. Your understanding is a snapshot, not a living thing.
Mithrawndo: > the ever-changing system which created the saying
Thank you for this admission: That saying has long since extended beyond the bounds of it's origins, so you could (but didn't) argue it's churlish of me to write (w)hoes or (w)ho(r)es when typing it. Thing is, if *you* were savvy to **British** culture you'd know that this has also become an in-joke to mock and deride the prevelence of American cultures in the UK...
I suspect I am not the only stubborn one in attendance today.
Sillyvanya: I didn't claim to be savvy to roast-beef culture. And when I realized you meant "whores," the distinction became meaningless to me.
I also don't really have anything to say about satirizations of American culture. The only point I was trying to make was that you were wrong about how it's used.
| 21 | 1,312.619048 | |
1656254287 | 1656257068 | t3_vl63y6 | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by Trusting doctors (twice)
[deleted]
johnlondon125: Next time maybe actually follow instructions
perfectlypoachedpen1: nose surgery didn't do jack and left me with an annoying scar, nail surgery didn't actually do anything, and still fucked up nail kept growing on sides, despite that being the point of the surgery, Aswell as the surgery itself not actually doing anything, It stopped me from ingrown toenails because it caused me to pick in a different way. however i still would've gotten them had i picked in a separate way.
regardless, nail kept growing when it wasn't suppose to, aswell as the cutting of tthe nails theoretically didn't change anything. therefor surgery only Hurt anyway (side off nail would have STILL been separated, regardless of my picking at it)
yeah, it got really bad because of me, but the surgery never wouldve helped, even if i didn't pick at it, and it only made the root cause (me picking at it) worse.
johnlondon125: The ingrown toenail surgery you description is how they treat recurring ingrown toenails.
perfectlypoachedpen1: yet it failed, again, nail grew back despite that being the point of the surgery, and it never connected back up ( i gave it time but it just grew over in a separate flap.
it never wouldve fixed itself, even if i didn't make it worse.
it wouldve fixed itself easier and faster without surgery, the best way to treat it was to somehow get a 12-13 year old to stop picking at his toe. (instead of giving him a surgery and thinking oh yeah a severe bad habit will stop now)
| 5 | 0.2 | |
1656254591 | 1656260341 | t3_vl67v8 | t5_2to41 | 70 | yourdadisabean: TIFU Talks Episode #20.5 Lounge time
Puppysareadorible: Pls stop cursing
grhabit56: Fuck that
Puppysareadorible: SHUT UP
grhabit56: You said that word too. I can tell on you
Puppysareadorible: Fine...
Puppysareadorible: I'll stop if you stop
Puppysareadorible: But I said F\*\*\*
Puppysareadorible: Not the full thing
| 9 | 7.777778 | |
1656259000 | 1656260941 | t3_vl7smn | t5_2to41 | 12 | ClintStrick: TIFU By Eating an Edible at a Frat Party
I (18M) was at college for summer related activities. A buddy of mine who is in a fraternity invited me to on of the fraternity’s parties at the house. At 3pm, I arrived. It was like the usual frat parties with drinking beer, smoking/vaping, die, etc. I was chilling and meeting people the whole time when I met this one guy (let’s call him Joe(not his actual name)) asked me to talk with him and some girls by a truck bed pool. One thing led to another and he offered me an edible. I ate it without thinking much about it,at the time it was around 6. At 6:30 my brother(18M) and my sister(19F) picked me up so they can find parking for a comedy show they were going to at 7. Because I had an event at 8, I just walked around Downtown until the event started. After a few minutes of walking, the edible kicked in and I wasn’t ready for it. I was really high in downtown checking if my pants were on every few minutes( which they were) and feeling my throat becoming super dry. Before I realized it, I was talking to an old lady about crystals in front of a Chick-fil-A. I didn’t get to the event until 9:15.
TLDR: I took an edible at at frat party and walked around downtown like an idiot for almost 3 hours.
Legi0ndary: Sounds like a good time
ClintStrick: For my first time being high I was scared the whole time
Legi0ndary: Ooohhhhhhh, first time changes that up a bit 😆 hopefully it wasn't bad enough to turn you off of them completely.
| 4 | 3 | |
1656260200 | 1656320700 | t3_vl887m | t5_2to41 | 7,447 | Expert-Ad-8139: TIFU by not speaking in my natural pitch for years
I've (22f) recently come to the realization that I have been speaking wrong for years. By that I mean I've forced my voice lower than it's intended to. My voice would get tired half way through the day and I would lose my voice every day. I didn't realize speaking in a lower voice would cause this much strain and damage. I happened to watch a YouTube video on finding your speaking tone and realized that for years I've tried to talk in a lower, more masculine voice. There is probably a reason behind that, like wanting to seem like a stronger person than I am.
I think this all started with insecurities and anxiety around people, but now that I've been on antidepressants I've started to unravel all the things that were caused/ stem from the anxiety. Now that the anxiety is gone, I can focus on "fixing" myself so that I can tolerate myself and learn to live again. I hope that this story might help someone else who is struggling.
TL;DR I was damaging my voice by speaking in a lower tone than my vocal cords are supposed to.
rtosser: Well guys we found Elizabeth Holmes' account.
Impressive-Leave7587: Came here to say this hahaha 100%
TAastronautsloth99: Also came here to say this.
BonaFideBill: Me, too!
KarensTwin: Me, also
roostertree: Same.
thequicknessinc: Ditto
echosixwhiskey: Samesies
Qyro: There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Georgeisthecoolest: I, for one, as well
granitedoc: Verily, I did as well.
impostershop: Same!
Eaterofpies: ditto
| 14 | 531.928571 | |
1656261865 | 1656271908 | t3_vl8u7l | t5_2to41 | 183 | Pussydestroyer420134: TIFU by drinking too much wine
Before starting the story I want to make some things clear, I (M,16) live in Romania (this is important because people don't give a fuck about the legal drinking age here and you can go anywhere and buy alcohol).I have two really good friends, F1 (M,15) and F2 (M,16).
The fuck up happened on F2 birthday, me and F1 decided to surprise F2 with a wine so I told him to buy it before we went out to celebrate.
So we go out, we say happy birthday to F2 and give him our present, the wine. We started drinking the wine and it was awful and I questioned F1 what kind of wine did he purchased. Well it turns out that he bought a 2l bottle of red wine for 20 leu(which is about 4 dollars). I didn't want the wine to go to waste, so I drank most of the wine (about 1,5l). After drinking the wine, we went to a pizza place and ate pizza and drank beer. We stayed out till 11:00 pm. I got home at about 11:15 pm. I didn't feel dizzy and didn't need to vomit so I went to bed at around 11:30 pm. At around 12:30 I woke up because I needed to vomit really badly, so I ran to the bathroom. The bathroom is pretty small (2 meters wide, 3 meters long and 2.3 meters high),when you enter the bathroom on your right there is a washing machine and right after it there is the toilet. Now when I entered the bathroom, I couldn't hold the vomit in any longer and started to vomit into the washing machine, I somehow managed to turn my head towards the toilet and leaned down. Now this is where the real fuck up happened, as so much vomit came out of my body with such force that the toilet couldn't handle it and vomit got everywhere and I mean it, all of the bathroom was covered in vomit, even the ceiling, from knee down I had vomit on my legs and I was stepping into my own vomit.
It took me 2 hours to clean the mess. So the moral of the story is that you shouldn't drink 1,5l of cheap wine.
**TL;DR: Drank too much time vomited on the ceiling.**
MrArthatil: I made a friend a calendar of the pictures of him doing the same thing and then falling asleep on the toilet. He learned a valuable lesson that day and I think so did you.
Pussydestroyer420134: Yeah, drinking mega pints of wine is not a good idea.
liarma: A mega pint?
ASCORPIONSLAYER: A jAr Of CoCaIn
| 5 | 36.6 | |
1656261284 | 1656265364 | t3_vl8mpv | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking an edible when I have pre-existing mental health issues
[deleted]
Blitzares: Just wait till you get a look at that medical bill lmao
Sunblocklotion: I’m not from the US, free healthcare!
sprucecavern: I had the same kind of experience, I was camping in the middle of nowhere though. That aside, I will tell you, there are coping mechanisms that help significantly and over time you will feel well again. Seeing a counsellor helped me greatly and I recommend it. Even just once she gave me the tools that I still use to this day to battle anxiety. You're not alone and it will get better.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1656262173 | 1656269248 | t3_vl8yb2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by telling the truth
[deleted]
Tuesidaisy08: Are you mormon
FretlessMayhem: That was my guess too, having read the post.
| 3 | 1 | |
1656263583 | 1656302790 | t3_vl9gut | t5_2to41 | 14 | watadoop: tifu at work
I currently work at a restaurant where we are expected to do an assortment of tasks as they are needed; sometimes i’m in BOH cleaning dishes and will get called on to start helping out on the floor when things are busy, stuff like that.
Today I was instructed by one of my managers to fill sauce containers with the sauces we serve to customers. After I noticed we didn’t have any mayonnaise I let them know I was heading to our restaurants storeroom to get some more, which happens to be outside our restaurant, about a 2 minute walk away. While grabbing everything I accidentally lock the keys to the storeroom inside and panicked. Luckily the door is high enough off the ground that a small enough person can fit under the door, I couldn’t so I rushed back to the restaurant to ask my co-worker who’s really small if she could sort out the mess I made; I explained there was mayonnaise left outside of the fridge so we couldn’t sit around for long. Unfortunately my other manager came and said we can worry about it later because things have gotten busy.
Okay, no issues, right? Small mistake but we could fix it, right? Well I was told to stay in the restaurant as well and keep working, meaning I couldn’t go back to grab the mayo to put in the fridge; mind you it was every box we had left. I tried to rush service so I could grab that mayo as quickly as possible but to no avail, we were completely packed; I kept reminding my coworker needed her help only for the manager to tell us it wasn’t a priority. I worked right up until my shift was over. I had clocked out for the day and told my co worker again we should really rush it because that mayo had been sitting out max an hour and a half. The manager again told me it wasn’t a priority and told me to leave, I offered to cover for her while I wasn’t clocked on because I really wanted to fix my mistake but he was already off doing something else.
I decided since I was off anyway I should head to the store room and bring the mayo back so it wouldn’t be wasted.
Somehow my coworker gets there before me and managed to grab the keys; after I left she explained to the manager there was mayonnaise left out, meaning he had no idea why I needed her help in the first place, meaning i fucked up communicating that the situation was dire.
My manager is apparently really angry with me.
I'm genuinely terrified, I hate when people are mad with me and I really fucked up, it was all an honest tiny mistake that snowballed into potentially losing the restaurant $100s of dollars and worst of all, i’m not even sure what happened afterwards or if the mayo made it and don’t have work again for a couple of days. I regret not ignoring my manager and just grabbing the mayo without the key anyway. I’m terrified I’ll lose my job and struggle to find another one.
tl;dr
i locked myself out of our restaurant storeroom while restocking our mayonnaise, and when i looked for help i left all our restaurants supply sitting outside for an hour and a half because the manager wouldn’t let us go back and get it because he didn’t get the full explaination.
JustWantedAUsername: Not your fuck up. The fact that you tried to rectify the problem only to be blocked by your manager multiple times puts the blame squarely on them. If they were mad at you its only because they dont have the balls to accept their side of the blame.
watadoop: I sort of agree but I could’ve communicated it way better, I doubt he knew that was the issue at all based on what happened. I also should’ve told my other manager and I shouldn’t have clocked off until I fixed the issue.
HigginsMusic74: I've been managing restaurants for 30 years. If your story is true, the manager only has themselves to blame.
Listening with the intention to understand is essential to running a business and avoiding results like this.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1656260831 | 1656331758 | t3_vl8gln | t5_2to41 | 5 | Indigo_not_indigo: TIFU (when I was eleven) by getting soapin a girls eye
me (11F) at the time and my brother (12M) at the time were at a party being held in a park in our condominium. They were giving away those cans that spray foam/soap. A group of girls that looked slightly younger walked up to me and my brother and they started spraying us, we were just having fun and we sprayed back. i was not paying attention as to where i was spraying and I accidentally got foam in one of their eyes, I did not even realize until around 20 minuets later when her mom ran up to me, grabbed me by the hair, started spraying foam on face while yelling "DONT SPRAY FOAM ON PEOPLES EYES!!!" my brother pushed her off and then our nanny came to see what was going on. My brother said "holy shit i stood up to an adult" but the probably drunk woman thought he was calling her a bitch. She then started yelling "YOUR MOMS THE BITCH WHO DIDNT TEACH YOU ANY MANNERS" we walk away from the party and I start crying because i was in a lot of shock because of what happened. my brother comforts me and when I feel better we both start to head back to the party, but, the womans husband is blocking door and holding a belt. He is surrounded by the same girls and one of them yells "There they are!!" and points to us. We are scared so we start to run away and he chases us. He keeps saying he just wants to talk even though he is carrying a belt. Eventually me and my brother make our to way to the security guards and the family is taken away from the party
TL;DR got soap in a girls eyes, her mom got mad at me, my brother stood up to her and said to me “holy shit i stood up to an adult” she thought he called her a bitch so she sent her husband after us with a belt
anantnrg: Wow thats scary. Probably should post it on r/entitledparents
Great-Gazelle-4586: Agreed cause kids are kids and do kid things
anantnrg: exactly
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1656266987 | 1656304875 | t3_vlap0m | t5_2to41 | 9 | M0nsterUnderTheBed: TIFU by throwing a shoe at my brother which hit my grandmother
Hey there, so this weekend by grandparents are in town, making their annual trip to see family. Everything has been going great since Friday, except for today. I went and read the liturgy at the church to make my mother and grandparents happy. This all goes well. Afterwards my family, girlfriend, aunt and uncle, grandparents, and the pastor plus his family go to get pizza after. Everything is going fine, just enjoying the food and catching up with everyone. Then, my kid brother starts playing footsie. I have no idea why, but this was the last straw. Without thinking I took off my slide and chucked it at his head. Bad move, given that they're made out of plastic, they're quite bouncy. It goes and hits his arm which he blocks with, and then hits my grandmother in the side of the head. Everyone's fine except for me. I want to die of embarrassment. Help.
TL;DR: TIFU by throwing a shoe at my brother, he blocks and it hits my grandmother in the side of the head, all in front of family & the pastor in a restaurant.
Calius1337: Did you throw a chancla by any chance?
M0nsterUnderTheBed: My girlfriend is latina haha
| 3 | 3 | |
1656267392 | 1656268981 | t3_vlau3a | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by squeezing an auto-injector of meds into my thumb—am a trained medical professional.
[deleted]
CruisinJo214: Ya…. I’ve been using Humira for 6 months now and I can totally see how you could do this.
laboratorystory: I’m having a flare up, totally out-of-it, and the 1-2 thing messed me up and..meh
| 3 | 9 | |
1656270610 | 1656357087 | t3_vlbzyj | t5_2to41 | 49,737 | misterYOLOdolo: TIFU by uncovering a dark family secret
Alright folks, this is a tale about Heineken beer.
This beer has always been a staple in my family; some of my earliest memories of my father are him drinking from that iconic green glass with my uncles.
My grandfather was a stereotypical strong patriarch of the family - he never drank, but he would spare no expense buying rack after rack of Heineken to keep everyone satisfied at every family event. He passed many, many years ago, but the tradition has been faithfully kept ever since, both as an homage to him and to all the wonderful memories we've made with Heineken in hand.
My very first beer was a Heineken. I hated it. I've given it plenty of chances since, but every one I've ever had tastes stale and watery. I could never understand why my whole family happened to love them. Probably a matter of sophistication. I never told my father because it would've broken his heart. In fact, like a dutiful son, I would always drink one or two to join in with all the other men and the enjoyment of their beloved beer.
A few days ago, my father was hosting an event and entrusted me to provide the drinks. I figured, hell, people have been downing the same old beer at these things for 40 years - let me get some other brews in the mix. I bought plenty of a few different brands that I love - Sam Adams, Dos Equis, Guinness, Bud Lime - and only one single six pack of Heineken. I snuck everything into the cooler so no one would figure the small proportion of Heineken in the mix unless they counted, and sat all day marveling at my own mischief.
The day turns to night, and at the end of the party I look in the beer cooler - to my satisfaction, every single beer is gone... except, wait a minute, the six Heinekens! Very strange.
I told my dad there were some Heinkens left over (bear in mind, he didn't know what I had done, he probably figured a bunch of other ones had been consumed). Dad only drinks for special occasions, so he suggested we give them to my uncle, an infamous lover of the beer. But he had already left, so we found his son and went to give it to him to deliver. The smile immediately left his face when we told him the plan. His eyes went straight to the floor, and despite being a grown man of almost forty, I heard fear in his voice when he said it:
"Guys, I gotta be honest with you... my dad can't stand Heineken."
We laughed because we figured it must've been a joke, but he kept staring at the floor. The smiles left our faces. We suggested he take it for himself, but he admitted he also didn't like Heineken. "Well, I'm not gonna drink it!" my dad said. "What? Why not?" Yeah, you guessed it, he hates Heineken as well. At this point, I admitted that I shared their opinion, and told them what I had done that day. Slowly, the realization of what was going on dawned on all three of us.
We went around frantically to all the people at the party asking for their input. Every. Single. One. Hates Heineken. Young and old, father and son, blue collar and white collar, American and foreign-born. Not a living soul actually likes the beer. They all just bought it because they thought another guy wanted it.
People were distraught. We've all spent so much money buying this overpriced beer for decades because everybody just assumed the other guys liked it, and everyone was too polite to say how much they didn't. All those fond childhood memories of my father and my uncles sitting on the porch are now tainted with the knowledge that Heineken objectively sucks.
In ceremonial fashion, the final six were dumped in the backyard, the last of their kind to be seen in our household. It felt eerily like a funeral.
On the bright side, everyone will actually enjoy their drinks at family events from now on...
Tl;dr: I strayed from buying the 40+ year traditional family beer brand for an event and accidentally uncovered the fact that everyone always hated it, but no one wanted to be the one to admit it.
Catherineb84: Not quite as expensive but when my dad met my mothers parent for the first time it was Christmas and he ate a mince pie out of politeness. So my mother made him mince pies every year for Christmas, bearing in mind that he was the only person in our family who likes them. I was about 11 when he finally told her he hates mince pies and to please stop making them, they’d been married a good 20 years by that stage.
Burdadart: My mom used to give the white meat of the chicken to my dad "cause he loved the white meat". He confessed ON HIS DEATH BED that he hated the white meat. It was one of the last things he said before entering in a coma to never wake up again and I'll forever remember it.
WhisperedEchoes85: I'm very sorry for your loss. But I can't help but smile at the thought of this... of all the things one could choose from for a deathbed confession, he chose that. That's legendary. I will remember this forever lol
kodex1717: My best friend broke his back falling off the roof of his barn. Said it took an absolutely eternity to get to the ground, during which all sorts of regrets crashed through his mind. It was only the stupid shit of course, like not offering the TV remote to someone else more often.
Idlerope82: I ended up in the hospital after an accident and it was hours before I could even so much as feel my legs and had thought for a moment I might be paralyzed. Thankfully I made a full recovery in time. My biggest worry? I wanted to contact my cross country couch that I might be late to practice the next day. I ended up being several months late to that practice but it’s weird how that was what I was worried about.
Edit: coach… Not couch…
a-nice-egg: I was riding my skateboard through town to meet a friend at a restaurant. I was going downhill, and didn't see a chunk of sidewalk just, missing. Ended up crashing face-first into the pavement, breaking my nose and fracturing my elbow. I was in pain, and I was bleeding profusely from my face, but all I kept thinking was how I was going to clean up the blood so I could meet my friend, and that I hope he didn't see that embarrassing crash! Those thoughts started to go away once I got stuffed into the back of an ambulance, lol. Funny how that's basically a universal experience.
philzebub666: I was hillbombing with a friend when he fell and broke his collarbone. He was adamant I shouldn't call an ambulance because he wasn't sure if he was insured. I called the ambulance anyway and while waiting for them to arrive I asked him: "You do know that we have universal healthcare?"
him -"Yes of course I know that, I just don't know if I'm insured."
me -"Have you ever thought about what universal stood for?"
He calmed down after that. He later said that the shock just made him think irrationally in that moment.
Shwnwllms: I’m crying in American.
RampantDragon: Yeah, you guys are getting fucked over, and half the populations in favour of more of the same.
Gtp4life: It’s a lot less than half. They’re a very loud 20ish%. Their occasional “wins” come down to who has better lawyers in court, they can’t win the popular vote by numbers even when the other options are shit.
RampantDragon: 46+% of voters in the US voted for Trump. Twice.
At best you can say is only 39% as that's the number polled who think UHC should not be provided as either Single payer or Public/Private.
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/29/increasing-share-of-americans-favor-a-single-government-program-to-provide-health-care-coverage/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_presidential_election
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_United_States_presidential_election
Gtp4life: 46% of voters. But a TON of people didn’t vote. [If “did not vote” was a candidate, they would’ve won.](https://i.imgur.com/mbjyMiU.jpg)
RampantDragon: In such a critical election, given the stakes for the country, people who didn't vote are as culpable as those who voted for the party that literally wants to make healthcare harder to access.
Gtp4life: I voted, but not for either of them. The choices were a conman that’s publicly been a piece of shit his whole life, the guy that wrote the crime bill expanding the prison system and has 40 years in government showing he won’t actually fix any issues he said he would, or a few nobodies with decent ideas that don’t have a track record of being terrible people. I chose one of the nobodies because I couldn’t in good faith vote for Trump or Biden.
RampantDragon: In a two party system like the US, you may as well just piss on the ballot and flush it down the toilet.
Gtp4life: And attitudes like that are EXACTLY the reason that doesn’t change.
RampantDragon: Not really. The US will never have a third party system. You can vote in primaries to attempt to move the manifestos of either party but abrogating your responsibility by throwing your vote away just gives cover to the worst elements.
It's a viable strategy at local level, but nationally if you decided that Biden (however uninspiring and relatively lame he may seem) was just as unpalatable as a man who literally attempted a coup, then you're part of the problem.
Democracy isn't perfect, but it's better than the alternative.
Gtp4life: Strong disagree, a coup and/or revolution is likely to be necessary to fix the broken mess our government has become. The idiots on jan 6th were definitely not the people to do it though.
RampantDragon: The only coup that's likely is by exactly that kind of idiot. Unless you're further right wing than at least Mussolini, you're not going to be a beneficiary of whatever regime follows.
Gtp4life: Left and right are both wings of the same bird. That bird needs shot down.
RampantDragon: You'll regret when the bird is dead and it's the wolves that are left.
| 22 | 2,260.772727 | |
1656264461 | 1656348500 | t3_vl9s7g | t5_2to41 | 22 | Gstary: Tifu by not making it crystal clear what I wanted from roof repairmen
This happened a few days ago but I forgot I usually just lurk here and now I can actually post!
Anyway I bought a house not long ago and there's some holes in the roof. Most of them don't leak as I've checked during numerous storms, I guess they're too small right now? however there's a couple that do and one in particular that sends water into the 2nd floor ceiling which is already bowed down and drips onto the floor. So I contact a few roofing companies and one of them specializes in slate roofs which is what mine is. They come snap photos and do estimates and send me the proposal. About 10k to reslate the roof and add a gutter to the front porch. Problem is when I read through it I read "replace any missing wooden underlay as deemed necessary" as "replace any missing or damaged wood underlay" and me being stupid not realizing underlay isn't the wood of the roof but rather a filling between the slate and the wood of the roof. So they come, do the job, leave, and my roof is still full of holes. That was money I had saved up but now I guess I gotta take out a loan. I haven't paid them the remainder yet because it says in the agreement 4,900 but theyre asking 5,300. No where in the agreement does it mention anything about possible price increases and no one mentioned to me while they were fixing that they may need to up the price. (I'm hoping that's a viable defense and reason but I'm too new to this)
TL;DR inexperienced homeowner misunderstood a repair proposal and now owes 10k to a company with a roof that's still full of holes.
papageek: If they fixed the slate correctly it shouldn’t matter if you have some holes in the roof sheeting.
Gstary: Sadly the slate doesn't cover the part of the roof that's splitting apart at the top or the giant hole on the side above the gutter. But they did a good job on the slate and stuff so im happy about that at least
papageek: I think I understand. I had a similar problem. Water staining ceiling in a bedroom so I called roofer and got a quote to fix roof. They listed replacing sheeting as needed, how many squares, dumpster fee, permit fees etc. very detailed. They replaced all ahingles and it still leaked. They come and do an inspection and tell me oh it’s the (not accessible) deck portion of our weird style hip roof that’s leaking and they didn’t touch it. Only then did he say that was leaking before but he only does shingle roofing and I need someone else to fix the leaking part. I opened a claim with his surety bond company and they paid another company to replace entire roof again.
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1656274480 | 1656321608 | t3_vldcmh | t5_2to41 | 69 | emresirmen: TIFU by drinking too much water
Not today, but 12 years ago I majorly fucked up by drinking too much water.
So I was in college, and was partying very frequently and often waking up early the next day for school/work. I had been told that main cause of hangover was dehydration, and I picked up the habit of drinking a lot of water before going to sleep after a heavy nights out. When I figured out that this makes you wake up to pee thus you can drink even more and sleep again, I felt like I had found the secret to avoid hangovers (and it usually worked).
It worked like a charm until that one night.
I had drank a lot, and got shitfaced as usual, and drank almost a full gallon of water at once before sleeping. Naturally, it made me wake up to pee in the middle of the night, and I forced down another half a gallon of water down my throat to avoid the horrible hangover tomorrow. Bad decision.
Next day I woke up with an alarm, had a gig with my band at noon and had to be there early for sound check, I felt a terrible and sudden urge to puke. The weirdest part is that I almost didn't eat anything the previous day, maybe some snacks for breakfast, maybe half a lunch and definitely no dinner. So I didn't really have anything to puke, and when I rushed to the sink, only water came out of my mouth. Pure, transparent water. I literally puked water. And no, loads of it. Fuck loads of it. Possibly all of it.
Then I felt one of the worst things I felt in my life. An extremely sharp, excruciating pain in my head, as if someone stabbed me from both sides of my brain simultaneously, an incredibly crude, sadistically sharp pain shredding the sides of my skull. I never felt anything like that ever before and after in my life, I wouldn't pray that on my worst enemy. It was fucking intense.
I was immediately parched. Scorched. My throat was suddenly dry AF. I had the most painful headache in my life, and had an absolute disgust to water or anything liquid. I was also ravenous, since I didn't eat anything for like 20 hrs straight, but I couldn't even swallow a headache pill at that point. And I had to stand up, get my shit together and go to that gig and smile like an idiot. I did. But it took me another half a day to be able to finally eat or drink something and slowly recover. I think I was potentially poisoned by excessive water. Never binged on water before sleeping that much again. Would rather take a headache pill instead or drink responsibly.
TL,DR: drank too much water to avoid hangover by dehydration, possibly got water poisoning and ended up having the worst hangover of my life
Fit_Ad_7681: I just learned this weekend that, more important than drinking water, you need to also make sure you're getting electrolytes too. If you don't, your body won't take up the water. A better idea is to drink Gatorade to stay hydrated. Additionally, drinking 1.5 gallons of water in, what I'm assuming it was, an 8 hour period isn't a good idea no matter what.
emresirmen: True that. Gatorade would be a better idea thanks
Prior-Evening-95: Out of the sports drinks I'm aware of, Powerade is a shitload more effective than Gatorade just FYI.
Source: 15 year crippling alcoholic.
Also if you had drank even one with your water binge, you wouldn't have gotten water toxicity (ot not as badly). It's caused by lowering your electrolyte levels in your body to the point your cells start to rupture due to osmosis. Horrible way to go.
emresirmen: Wow that sounds scary. Thanks for the tip 👍
| 5 | 13.8 | |
1656270480 | 1656409311 | t3_vlbybx | t5_2to41 | 26 | BG_Character: TIFU by driving two hours for my best friends gender reveal
Technically this happened yesterday but I will explain why I couldn’t post this until today.
My best friend is currently pregnant with her second child and her aunt is throwing her a gender reveal. We’ve been friends since college, when she had her first son, but haven’t been able to see each other much over the last 5-6 years. I’m really excited to see her and her family because now we live in separate states. 2 hours isn’t a lot but she and I have had a hard time keeping jobs where we don’t work weekends and I was the only only who could drive until recently. I digress, I’m basically just looking forward to it a lot.
All yesterday morning I was preparing and making sure me and my boyfriend were ready before making the trek. We weren’t planning on staying the night because we have pets, but it was going to be a long afternoon. My boyfriend isn’t a fan of social situations, especially ones where he doesn’t know anyone, but he loves me very much and I make it up to him in other ways to show him how much I appreciate it. The ride was nothing abnormal, driving major highways and spending way too much on gas and tolls, before we get to the small street.
I’m slowly driving along and notice there isn’t a whole lot going on. We arrived right on time so I thought maybe we were just some of the first people to show up. But the street was very unoccupied by cars and I hear no sort of party. I go up to the house and not sure why to do, I ring the doorbell. She definitely has a ring doorbell so being the awkward person I am, I try not to look directly into the camera. I consider myself a polite person so I waited a few minutes before calling my best friend to see where I was supposed to go. And because she’s a wonderful human being, she answers right away. But there’s something very clear in her voice. She was sleeping. Then it hit me.
I was a week early to the gender reveal.
I started laughing and my boyfriend was facepalm silent laughing, my best friend was trying to make me feel like less of an idiot, and I apologized more than I ever have in my life while trying not to cry. My best friend was taking a nap and because “I don’t want to take a pregnant woman from her nap”, my exact words, I decided it would be best to drive home. I am a very emotional person and while I know this is going to be the funniest story to tell later, I still cried half the drive home.
We decided to go out for dinner since I had gotten dressed up and went to our favorite brewery nearby for food and craft beer. There was a large group with a lot of preteen boys whom were running around as preteen boys do, and halfway through our meal, one of the dads at the table bought me and my boyfriend another drink as a thank you for dealing with his kids. I admit we were both kind of tipsy when we left to go home, but the brewery is very close to our house and we take a lot of backroads to get there anyways. We got home, boyfriend fed the pets, I laid down on the bed where I promptly fell asleep until about 1am. Somewhere in there my boyfriend came in to cuddle with me and wake me up, but I am a bad influence and somehow managed to suck him into sleep with me. I woke up very dehydrated, my make up all over my face, and eyes in pain from sleeping with my contacts in. It’s been a rough day.
tl;dr I drove 2 hours to a different state one week early for my best friends gender reveal, drove back home, got drunk at dinner, and promptly fell asleep until 1am
Mellie997:
Edit: Didn't know Americans don't walk, in that case you totally f. up. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
ThinkCow83: Driving home on back roads whilst drunk is worse than sleeping with contacts in!!!
Mellie997: Oops, guess I misunderstood that. I thought they walked home.
Edit: I read it again and she didn't mention if she drove or walked. The "the brewery is very close to our home" (or something like that) lead to the assumption (is that the right word?) that they walked
YogurtConstant: americans don’t walk.
Mellie997: I'm European, I don't know if Americans walk or not D:
| 6 | 4.333333 | |
1656279781 | 1656281701 | t3_vlf89l | t5_2to41 | 81 | nomdebile: TIFU by thinking about my ex in the middle of getting a blowjob
TIFU by thinking about my ex in the middle of getting a blowjob
Obviously didn't happen today ,it happened a month or two ago...
So, I broke up with my ex girlfriend 2 and a half to three years ago. She was the love of my life and she went to study abroad and things went south from there...
It took me a lot of time to be convinced that I "moved on" . Fast forward to a few months back, I met a girl on tinder, went on one or two dates... Got along... Things started to spice up on text and she invited me over. We started making out and she went down to blow me ... As soon and she started doing it... Idk why... All I could think about was my ex... She kept doing it for half an hour or so that felt like an eternity, I couldn't orgasm ... Started stressing out about it and felt bad for thinking about my ex , I also was mad because I was convinced 100% that I moved on ... I shouldn't be thinking about her .
I ended up telling her to stop, put my pants on and went home . I felt like shit afterwards.. because apparently I'm still in love with my ex even after 3 years.
TL;DR : kept thinking about my ex in the middle of a bj and couldn't cum, ended up storming off
lil-ducklin: Yeah you definitely ain’t over her. Have you apologised to your tinder date? Just incase she maybe thought she did something wrong. Have you spoke to your ex since this happened/broke up?
nomdebile: Yes , I did make sure to apologize and assure her that it's my fault and she was doing good.
I still talk to my ex from time to time cause we re still friends , but she doesn't know anything about this story
lil-ducklin: That’s good you apologised. Do you think it’s wise to speak to your ex about this? To see if she feels the same way about you? Cause if she does maybe yous can sort your relationship out. But if not then only thing you can do is focus on yourself in order to get over her.
nomdebile: The circumstances are still the same , she s still studying in France and I'm a continent away... Idk if she feels the same way or not... Probably not
But the thing is , I got accepted in a school in France as well for next year ... I will have to wait to get a visa to be sure if I'm going to go or no.. and even if I ago it's far from where she lives.
lil-ducklin: Just gonna need to wait and see. Don’t get your hopes up cause you don’t want them getting let down. Do you want to be over your ex? Cause seems like you don’t want to be over her.
nomdebile: I convinced myself that I was over her... For three years. I was sure about it. I didn't date other people because I didn't get along with the ones I went for date with.
It was till the physical act with another person that I realized I wasn't over her apparently
lil-ducklin: Now I’m not sure but it might’ve just been the physical act then? Maybe you need to find someone you have a real connection with again. Perhaps that might get you over her.
nomdebile: Probably, I can't disassociate the physical aspect from the emotional one
lil-ducklin: Take time to focus on yourself is really the best I can say in this situation. It’s easier said that done getting over someone. Just take your time with it.
nomdebile: It's been almost 3 years , I made sure to take my time and heal... And now, suddenly, back to the beginning ??
lil-ducklin: It’s not easy getting over someone you had strong feelings for. Feelings may or may not come back you just need to take it and deal with it I’m afraid.
| 12 | 6.75 | |
1656285922 | 1656286325 | t3_vlgize | t5_2to41 | 10 | Groundbreaking-Box20: Bring on the downvotes: but damn, I would be ashamed to have you as a son, and it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. You seem like you suck
tgulli: In his defense... who the fuck enters someone's home or room without knocking? what if it was the wrong dorm etc?
Groundbreaking-Box20: Drunk college students do, for one
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1656284290 | 1656379697 | t3_vlgqzb | t5_2to41 | 87 | [deleted]: TIFU by tricking my hospitalized brother into thinking the world ended
[deleted]
HonestCup20: OP: I'm no longer welcome at a hospital unless it's an emergency...
ME: i mean this is why i ever go to a hospital. What other reasons do you have?
DrG2390: I think it’s more like the family only wants him to be there if it’s a life or death emergency like someone’s on their deathbed as opposed to someone recovering from routine surgery.
HonestCup20: ahh, but again, i don't ever go unless it's an emergency.. if somebody is fine and recovering, then i have no reason to go, just send some flowers and call them. I hate hospitals and won't go unless it's life or death.
| 4 | 21.75 | |
1656285269 | 1656340449 | t3_vlh2zp | t5_2to41 | 2 | Internal_Judgment_21: TIFU by running for student president despite my unpopularity and losing
Hello! I'm a 17m in Year 12 who goes to college in the UK. This college happens to also be a secondary school too, so I have been at this school/college since Year 7, when I was 11, so I've known most of my classmates for nearly six years now.
For some context, I'm not one of the 'popular kids'. I have a small, close-knit group of friends, a good chunk of whom are girls, which makes me a but of an outcast. I was bullied badly in Year 8, which made me more introverted around school. I think this has given me a reputation of not caring for other people, and making me seem like I hate everyone, when I actually do not mind most of my classmates.
This year, my college decided to replace head boy and head girl roles with six student president roles for Year 13. You had to make and present a presentation in front of everyone as to why you would make a good president. It took a couple of weeks to try and convince myself to do it, and I put sooooo much effort into my presentation. I was really determined, because I love roles like this. I was a student Councillor at my primary school and I have been in the Charity Committee since the start of college. The day came to present it in front of everyone in my year, and it went fine.
Unfortunately, there were eight people going for the six roles. And in the vote from students innmy yesr and all the teachers at the school, I was one of the two people who didn't get a president role. Instead I was offered diversity leader, so I would start a pride club and get feedback from students around the school about racism, sexism and homophobia.
I don't know how to feel. On the one hand, I feel okay with diversity leader because I know that I'll enjoy it and have less responsibility on my hands, plus it'll still look good on uni applications. However I feel completely humiliated and destroyed. I was one of a few people out of the eight who was doing a presentation because I actually cared, not because I was popular. I also feel like I should have seen this coming after my experiences since Year 8. In 7 hours, I'm supposed to go to college and see everyone and act like it's a normal Monday, but I don't know if I can do it.
Thank you for reading and I'll try and update soon :)
TL : DR: I ran for student president at my college despite having little popularity. I lost, and I don't know if its a good thing or not.
THE_Aft_io9_Giz: Likeability, being personable,, and tactfulness are real work life set of characteristics that can be learned to a degree. Most importantly, it is critical for someone like yourself to be aware that these have not been your strengths and you now have some direct feedback confirming this. Feedback like this from them should be viewed as a gift. It's not intending to hurt your feelings, but makes you aware of where you really stand socially regardless of your presentation efforts, as your ability to create a presentation seems to exceed your skillfulness in developing value added relationships. Now you know what to work on.
It can be a tough pill to swallow, but you have an opportunity to use this new role to develop those skillsets, increase your social network value, and learn from some of your peers on what worked for them. Just because it wasn't the role you wanted or felt you deserved, it may be the role you need to develop the skills for those larger roles in the future. Start small, make it fun for you and your peers. Nothing attracts attention and friendship more than those who positively enjoy their life and work.
Internal_Judgment_21: I had not thought of it like that to be honest. I feel much better about it today and like you said, it's taught me who I am as a person. Thank you for commenting:)
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1656287900 | 1656294512 | t3_vlhx3b | t5_2to41 | 61 | Shermandragonfly: TIFU By forgetting my fan was plugged in
This story happened about an hour ago, I decided I wanted to clean my fan in my room so I unplugged it and took it apart. When I was finished cleaning it I decided to see if it would work while still dismantled so I plugged it in and turned it on and it worked. I thought that was cool seeing how it worked and so started to put it back together, I should add I have terrible short term memory and had completely forgotten it was plugged in and I was suddenly reminded when 240v (I live in Ireland) shot up through my right middle and index finger up my arm and then in to my body. I quickly pulled away realising my mistake and unplugged it. My fingers felt a bit burnt but the feeling soon stopped.
Right now I am lying in bed waiting to see if there are any side effects.
I really need to be more careful but it's hard when I can forget stuff that happened 10
TL:DR TIFU by forgetting my fan was plugged in and tried putting it back together and got shocked.
Colonel_Khazlik: As long as it didn't go across your chest your fine, even then most people aren't that unlucky that they'd suffer injury.
Just don't make a habit out of it.
Shermandragonfly: Unfortunately this is my third time I'm rather unlucky with electricity.
RITFL: Electricity is a cruel mistress.
| 4 | 15.25 | |
1656288678 | 1656351568 | t3_vli6d4 | t5_2to41 | 27 | Sonova_Vondruke: TIFU by leaving my front door open last night.
Went out last night to record a podcast and hangout with a coworker that is moving to VT. (Didn't drink, just had water a $10 kava). Came home went to bed. Woke up late which is unusual because the cats typically wake me up. Went out to the living room and noticed it was hot and humid. Then I noticed the front door was open with the deadbolt firmly locked in midair. I peak outside and seaw nothing then shut the door. Looked around and saw one cat patiently waiting by the dood bowl.
Immediately I call out, "Karooooooo?".. he sometimes comes running, but this time nothing. Shake some cat treats.. silence. Okay now I know I'm in trouble. Quickly I quietly get dressed and try not to wake my wife. If she woke up she would be frantic and not much help. I grab a bag of treats and began my hunt. Yelling out his name, shaking cat treats.. walking around my house. I know he couldn't be that far. We have a canal surrounding half our house. Walked by the bushes by our home. Nothing. Did notice the bunnies ate the vegies I left out a few days ago. But no cat.
Started knocking on neighbors doors to ask if they've seen him. Which is a bit awkward because I've never met them. First neighbor assured me cats will come back, even though he's a house cat. Second neighbors said the same thing but they'd help look on their bike ride later. Was about to circle back and start looking down the other way.. first neighbor greated me outside got on her bike and said she'd start looking too. I said "ok. Let my look one more time around my house".
Instead of just the treats and the name I also "meow'd" like him. Just as I passed around the corner I heard a faint meow from what sounded like from across the canal. I meowed again, he mowed back, this time much louder. "That motherfucker better not be on the other side because if I have to swim across I will.." Again I meowed and my meow was returned in kind. I looked down and I saw him. Soaking wet and stuck on top of floating dead foliage, in a patch of cattails. A type of tall aquatic plant that has what looks like crondogs for buds.
He was soaking wet but looked relieved. I laid down on the sea wall as he began to walk over the floating leaves and stalks of cattails. As I reached for him he dodged my hand as cats sometimes do when we go to pet them. "I'm trying fucking save you you stupid cat". Strangely enough he's never done that with me. He loves pets. Eventually he gets close enough and stretch out just far enough to grab his neck scruff and pull him out. I brought him inside, then walked to the neighbors to let them know I found him and gave my thanks.
He seemed ok with the whole experience, except with the shower we gave him after. That was probably the most traumatic part this whole ordeal for him. Best part my wife had no idea until I told her. Apparently he ran under the bed as soon as I let him inside. If she knew she'd be hysterical as she never let's our cats outside.
We looked at our surveillance video and noticed he got out shortly after I got home. No idea how long he was in the canal, but he was outside for at least 8 and half hours. Now he's smelling like flea shampoo and hiding under the bed. Which isn't common for him, as he's rarely never too far from my wife. I'm sure he'll be back to his old self again in a few days.
tl:dr: left my door open all night, lost my cat. then found my cat stuck in a canal. Also met my very nice neighbors that I never talk to.
DrG2390: Been there! I have a bengal who loves to escape.. we lived in an apartment for maybe a year and a half and I think he got out maybe three or four times. We have some wildlife around here, and as bad as it is, every time I worried that he wasn’t coming back.
Every single time though either neighbors found him and took him to the vet where they scanned his microchip to find us, or he would come back by himself, or my husband would have to chase him and somehow earn his trust so he’d get close enough so my husband could grab him.
We’ve since moved to a house and he isn’t allowed outside anymore. Even though he can walk on a leash just fine we don’t trust him and he’s too strong and fast for us to chase down every time he gets off leash. He still seems to get a lot out of looking out the window and chasing his sister throughout the house so I guess he’s not too deprived haha
Sonova_Vondruke: Oh I would love a bangle.. I heard they can be very "wild" though.
| 3 | 9 | |
1656291967 | 1656292434 | t3_vlj7oc | t5_2to41 | 37 | Crouchinator5: TIFU by letting my wife use an old tablet
Today I fucked up by letting my wife use an old tablet to get reference photos for some art she is working on. I bought this tablet back in 2017 before I met my wife and was in a previous relationship. Since this tablet has sat dead most of the time my wife and I have known each other, there are some old photos of my ex and I together. Nothing inappropriate, but they were lovey dovey stuff that, of course, has upset my wife by seeing them. So now I'm trying to convince her that I didn't intend to keep them, I just didn't do a thorough job cleaning them out because I rarely use the device. Everything else is clear, socials, phone, computer, etc..., but now she's in a bit of a rut because she had it in her head that I was still into my ex. Any advice would be of great help. What can I do to convince her that I despise my ex (because I truly do)?
TLDR- Wife found old photos of myself and an ex that I didn't know still existed. She's upset, and I feel like an awful husband. Send help.
ObviousRascal: Offer to set it aflame after blocking your ex on everything, sign a contract in blood to cthulu for proof of your eternal love for your wife.
Crouchinator5: Pretty much already have. But I'll double down. 🤣
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1656293075 | 1656296615 | t3_vljjyi | t5_2to41 | 52 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #21! Come share your stories and hang out. :)
atgvfl: Is this the dev hour?
bruh-sound_effect: Fr
atgvfl: Dev hour deez nuts
bruh-sound_effect: Dude these r some of the most uncharismatic people ever lol. Bring back yourdadisbeans
bruh-sound_effect: Dude these r some of the most uncharismatic people ever lol. Bring back yourdadisabean
| 6 | 8.666667 | |
1656294382 | 1656480893 | t3_vljyua | t5_2to41 | 20 | sweetandsaltmango: TIFU, this didnt happen today but i found my soulmate
So this happened a week ago but I absolutely cannot stop thinking about it. I have nobody to tell this to and if I do tell people will think I'm crazy.
So anyway, me and my family were celebrating eid in a different city. We traveled in a car for 1 hour to get to a some sort of restaurant where we sat for several minutes and waited for our food. This restaurant had opened recently and they had a lot of customers waiting. Among them were us.
When our food arrived we pretty much ate fast and had to leave early because we spent our time on waiting. 15 minutes before leaving a guy and his family came and sat on the table in front of us. He had headphones, black hair and dark shirt.
I fall for guys easily, even when they give me the slighest bit of attention. I'm basically a simp, but with him I felt a connection and as if I somehow predicted this happening. It felt like I knew him or something but I didn't.
I stared at him the whole time and even took a couple of pictures without him knowing. He stared twice at me because he probably noticed that I stared at him the whole time. Anyway we had to leave and as I was leaving I tripped and fell infront of him. Everybody started staring and I ran to get away from the embarrassment just then I tripped again on some random baby stroller. My naruto sticker than was in my pocket fell out and I ran again because of embarrassment.
That was a traumatic exprience that I'll never forget. Because nothing interesting happens in my life. This was in another city and I doubt I'll ever meet him again but I believe in faith so it could happen.
Thank you for reading if u did read
TL;DR I think I found my soulmate in a restaurant and tripped twice in front of him, I did manage to get a couple of shots of him tho
Yenrou: 🚩
sweetandsaltmango: what do u mean
TheAmethyst1139: You took pictures of him? Wth?
sweetandsaltmango: i dont regret it, plus i had to cuz id forget him if not
TheAmethyst1139: So? What are the chances of you meeting him again? Stalker vibes…..
sweetandsaltmango: im not stalking him LMAO ur just too sensitive thats all
TheAmethyst1139: No you just don’t take pictures of people without their permission you psycho freak.
sweetandsaltmango: if i do meet him then point proven, its probably deja vu. if i dont then he will never know i took pictures of him, if he doesnt know its not a crime or something. also how am i a psycho by taking a picture of someone ill never meet again or see, and he wont even know. but its ok when paparazzi do it to celebrities cause they dont have feelings? i think you should search the definition of 'psycho freak' LMAOOO
TheAmethyst1139: I was discussing this with my best my friend. My point is that you probably will never meet him again and not wanting to forget him feels like you’re too dragged into a fantasy. But he said: to her he’s art, he’s so pretty she wants to remember him and that is actually very cute. that perspective made sense so i probably overreacted. I personally would not like it myself but I see now that your intentions were cute.
sweetandsaltmango: well yeah, i mean im glad u said that its a perspective i knew about. i wont do it again as its not something he would be glad to hear about but im sad to say i wont be deleting them.. i mean i barely remember what he looks like, itll be a core memory lol
| 11 | 1.818182 | |
1656294439 | 1656301157 | t3_vljzh2 | t5_2to41 | 111 | Boring_Net3101: Tifu by inviting my sister in law over after I moved in to my brand new house
This was a few days ago, but whatever.
This is a tifu because I never expected such ungrateful guests ...
My husband and I just purchased our first home, and we're upper middle class. It's a 3k sq ft house, and I am proud of the home we could afford for our family. Money has always been a point of anxiety for me, so I chose engineering to keep myself safe.. busted my ass to get here, and I'm damn proud of it. Btw, I'm an almost 30 y/o female.
So my family moved into this house 7 days ago. One day after move in, my sister in law asks if her and her husband can stay with us for the weekend. I excitedly say yes, and they arrive 3 days later. My husband and I slave over the house to get it ready, and we're beyond exhausted by the time they arrive.
Within 8 hours of being here, their 3 (yes.. 3 obnoxious and not trained) dogs have either peed, pooped or destroyed the screen door to my backyard.) One even peed on the 1k+ couch my husband and I just bought for our new living room.
While she did put the problem dog away in a crate or backyard and the defication was cleaned, my frustrations grew. They didn't clean effing anything else... They used my coffee pot and never cleaned it or the mugs they used... They didn't offer to help us put up curtains or ceiling fans even though I had mentioned I might need their help this weekend...
They have a young child (few months), and their attention has stayed with it in lieu of my 3y\o because it's cuter and less effort... My small human managed an hour of their time.
While we slaved over getting ceiling fans upstairs where they sleep installed because of the shit ac we have, they watched my brand new TV downstairs...
My husband and I are both excited for them to leave. I will be adamant their animals never enter my house again. I'm done. I'm sitting in my living room telling my 3y/o to be quiet, so the damn baby can sleep. Go the flip upstairs and away from my child. There's a bed up there for a reason. Don't punish her because you're lazy.
Tldr: tifu because I invited my sil and her family into my brand new home, and they're bad guests.
Tato7069: I get the dog portion of this. Otherwise, if you said you might need help with something later on, and didn't ask for help when it was time, I don't really see how they're supposed to just know you want help. As far as the coffee mugs go, I don't think too many people would expect their guests to clean mugs, especially if you have a dishwasher, I know I wouldn't
gringledoom: Yeah, TBH, I don't really want my guests trying to do kitchen cleanup in case they inadvertently break/ruin something and I end up having to politely pretend like it's just fine. (e.g., the time a well-meaning family member scrubbed the "nonstick" right off a pan)
Boring_Net3101: Okay yeah. Totally get that. I'm just saying small things that I intentionally don't buy expensive things for in case they break them. I was exhausted after a month of preparing and actually moving my home. Honestly, I could probably tolerate all of this if it were after we were all settled. This is the first night in a week that my 3yo didn't fight bedtime and stay up past ten. I'm just exhausted. I was more complaining because I was an idiot for inviting guests into my home after I was emotionally and physically drained... Then I had a bad experience on top of it
Minute-Ad-2148: I think you need to take a step back. Their dogs behavior is the problem here. That is what you’re angry about and you’re starting to fixate on every little thing they do because you dont feel comfortable confronting them. Instead you let it eat at you while you grow resentful of them.
It is okay to sit them down and have a talk and let them know it’s not working out because of the dogs and they need to find other arrangements.
It’s also okay to tell them that they need to sleep upstairs and not in the common areas, or that your son needs to use a certain area so they have to leave.
I highly encourage you to start voicing your feelings, it is such a relieving thing to do and you will feel 1000 times better and they will know to be on their best behavior or to find other arrangements because of the dogs.
You do not have to let people rent space in your head just because of a communication issue. As soon as the dogs started misbehaving you should have been up front about it not being okay and after the 2nd or third time it should have been time to say goodbye!
| 5 | 22.2 | |
1656296700 | 1656381595 | t3_vlkpcy | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a “joke” about my girlfriend
[deleted]
macaronithecat: Wtf is a sneak peek? But yeah weight is a touchy subject for many women. Your gf sounds like she's super insecure about it so I wouldn't get all bent out of shape. Eventually she will get over it.
sempi-moon: It’s a sexual thing I just don’t wanna do that much nsfw you know
DrG2390: Wait, so you sent her a dick pic?
sempi-moon: Yeah. She’s fine with it i over reacted tbh. She sends stuff randomly too so I think that day I just had crazy anxiety
| 5 | -0.6 | |
1656299053 | 1656338964 | t3_vllfyi | t5_2to41 | 38,982 | bopbeepboopbeepbop: TIFU by introducing my two crushes to each other
I am a bisexual man and I've been talking with a straight girl and other bisexual guy. I had been hitting it off really well with both of them and there was some light flirting. It was getting to the point where I was really nervous about really hitting on either of them for fear of losing the other, and I think it may have given off the vibe that I wasn't interested because sometimes I didn't flirt back.
A few days ago I was talking to the girl after a class we had together and the guy dropped by to say hello. I introduced them to each other as anybody would with their friends, but I had to go to my jext class and ended up leaving them both there as they kept talking. Saw them both together today and they thanked me for introducing them because they are now officially dating.
Like obviously none of us were ever an item or ever even really serious, but that was tough to hear. I just laughed it off. In retrospect, I dont think either of them had any idea I was interested. At least, that's the generous interpretation.
Feels bad, man. Ugh.
TL:DR I introduced my male and female crush to each other and they are now dating, all thanks to me.
EDIT: Yeah fs my fault. Good for them, honestly. I'm not too upset, I probably would have spent years before I could just commit. Sigh. Threesome scenario is a good headcannon, so let's all just pretend I can pull that off lol
rayraylillypad: Damn, bro really put the L in LGBT
darya42: Not a native speaker, would someone have the kindness to explain the joke? 😇
in-thesuburbs-i: L means Loss/Lose in gamer speak, and W means Win. People use “L” online whenever someone has failed to do something or something hasn’t gone their way
darya42: Thanks for explaining! :)
RIPenemie: And F to pay respect
Inlevitable: And X to doubt
matlynar: And my axe!
master_wolf89: And your brother!
SenorMarana: Found the necromancer
SoftBaconWarmBacon: And choosing this guy's dead wife
Well_Oiled_Poutine: And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time…
Til touchdown brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no, no, no… I’m a rocket man.
matlynar:
AND I IIiIiiI
WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU OOOOH I
| 13 | 2,998.615385 | |
1656301296 | 1656308561 | t3_vlm4nc | t5_2to41 | 48 | S_h1ft: TIFU by asking for 10 gallons of paint for a single room
About a month ago, my dad and I were getting ready to paint my room after almost 16 years of it having the same old baby blue and pineapple yellow color scheme. So obviously we had to go out to good ol' Home Depot to get the new paint.
As my dad and I walk through the paint supply isles and whatnot we arrive at that center place where you pick out a color and give it to the employees so they can make some paint for you. I pick out a color and tell my dad. To my suprise he started explaining to me what to tell the guy at the counter, as if he had to go somewhere. "You need to go somewhere or something?" I tell him and he says "Yeah, while you're here waiting for the paint I'll go and find us some sanding blocks". Keep in mind I have absolutely no idea about paint and measurements, considering I stay at home all the time and play video games (a much more important matter).
Me (a complete nervous wreck talking to other people) am freaking out about what to say and how to approach the guy about the paint. So I go up to the counter, practically shaking at this point, and tell the guy "Can I get this one right here" (points at the mat on the table that displays the kinds of paint) "And can I get a BEHR color match for this color" and I hand him the paint strip I chose. I also tell him to get me the paint in eggshell (which I have no clue what that means, my dad told me to tell him that).
Right about now I'm feeling great about how I said everything and the fact that he didn't ask any questions I didn't know the answers to. And then he asks me "Alright so how many gallons do you need?" I'm shook. My dad never even told me about how much to get. I nervously point at the mat again and say "That one". He's visibly confused and asks me again. And let me remind you about how terrible I am at communication. "10 gallons" I said. 10 fucking gallons. I still can't believe I said those words and I still can't fathom why the guy at the counter didn't make sure I meant 10 or why I didn't just call my dad on the spot considering there wasn't even a line of people behind me that would have gotten angry at the wait.
My dad comes back to me, visibly confused as to why I'm still waiting for what was supposed to be 2 gallons of paint. The look of disappointment on my dad's face as he sees the same guy placing a 7th gallon of paint onto the shelf below the counter. My dad told me to go wait for him in the car and that he'll be out in a minute. I have no idea what happened in there or what he said. Maybe nothing happened at all and he just told them it was a mistake. But ever since that day my dad hasn't asked me to help him do anything, which is a rarity.
It was an honest mistake and I still don't know the consequences.
TL;DR I asked for 10 gallons of paint for a small room at home depot and got ghosted by my father as a result.
fliguana: It was a test.
S_h1ft: I flunked
| 3 | 16 | |
1656301583 | 1656304471 | t3_vlm7p7 | t5_2to41 | 137 | flatulantaccident: TIFU for eating baked beans before a drive in movie
An hour ago we got back from a drive in movie. We’ve been together for years and we have no shame in tooting and such in front of each other.
We had barbecue foods for dinner and of course baked beans. I love baked beans, however they are still baked beans and I already have IBS like most people. It was almost like the exact moment we pulled into the place I started getting pain in my sides.
Normally when I toot I don’t care , it’s just him so I don’t care. It was so extraordinarily horrible we had to get out of the car and go to the snack bar and get food. We got back and it was almost like it stained the air. So we got out again after rolling down the windows and walked back to the snack bar and pretended we forgot drinks even though we had brought those with us. Im hoping it was the lighting but I swear he looked pale afterwards.
TL;DR: ate baked beans before a drive in and almost knocked out my boyfriend with my horrible toots
edit: I finally remembered my password. All these comments are so funny, thank you for making me feel better.
My_Cat_Louie: Have you tried dicyclomine? It's worth a try if not.
Patrol-007: Wasn’t there a product called “Beano” many years ago?
My_Cat_Louie: Yeah, but it's "Alpha-galactosidase." Whereas a product like Gas X is simethicone. Dicyclomine, or Bentyl, is antispasmodic that helps with intestinal pain, cramping, bloating, and gas.
Patrol-007: I’m saving this. What does each version treat? I’ll eventually Google them.
I think lipotase (spelling could be wrong) enzyme in pill form is available for people who start eating a lot of fat and can’t metabolize it (there was a thread about a person going on an all meat diet)
My_Cat_Louie: Beano = Alpha-Galactosidase, which is an enzyme that helps break down the carbohydrates in certain foods, like vegetables.
Gas X = simethicone, works by reducing the "frothing" action in the stomach and intestines. It is actually used industrially as well to reducing bubbling when liquids are in an agitating process.
Dicyclomine = Bentyl, is a prescription drug called an antispasmodic. It works by calming/reducing the peristaltic action of the intestines during digestion. This reduces the development of gas and bloating, but also reduces the cramping and pain experienced by folks with IBS/IBD.
Patrol-007: Thanks. Did you find the one that breaks down fat?
My_Cat_Louie: All icould find were for lipase supplements, sorry. Buti would be interested in that as well.
| 8 | 17.125 | |
1656302253 | 1656303737 | t3_vlmewp | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on my partner’s phone
[deleted]
RLJ05: Why is it such a big deal for you? I don’t get that. It’s his body, let him do what he wants to make himself feel better / happier. Its not really anything to do with you, you are making it much more about you than you should
SheepherderUnhappy18: see that’s the issue is that he is doing it because he’s thinks it will be better for me if i had a more endowed guy :(
RLJ05: Yeh it’s funny. Actually I have the opposite problem, my dick is a little bit too big for my girlfriend, so sometimes it can hurt, depending on the angle and how deep it goes.
So yeh big is not always better. He doesn’t realise that though. The important thing with sex is how you use it.
SheepherderUnhappy18: exactly! he is my only partner to ever make me orgasm so he definitely is the best i’ve had.
| 5 | 6.2 | |
1656302631 | 1656338684 | t3_vlmjew | t5_2to41 | 112 | adamruinedme: TIFU by getting a mommy makeover
Like others this FU didn't technically happen today but I'm dealing with the hard and painful consequences. On mobile, not a throwaway because IDGAF anymore
The initial FU was not even mine but happened about 4 years ago. I was pregnant and had an unplanned C-section. Everything was hunky dory, or so as all thought. Fast forward 10 days later and I can't keep a single piece of food or drop of liquid down and I wake up screaming in pain from cramps stronger than contractions. My mother finally convinced me to go to urgent care. I promptly get an X ray and the tech asks me if I had a drain after the C-section. I tell him I'm pretty sure I didn't and immediately call my husband who has lots of surgical experience.
I relay the question to hubby who recognizes the "drain" immediately as a tab on a laparotomy sponge. They're specifically designed this way to show up on x-ray for this exact occasion. Rush to the ER, convince my mother to take her flight home that leaves in an hour because she won't be able to do anything here and off I go to surgery.
4 hours and 2 feet of my bowel later, I'm in recovery. You would think this would be the end but, sadly it was not. 4 days go by, I'm being discharged and I puke no less than 15 feet out of the hospital parking lot because they didn't get all of the infection. So far, I only have one scar from all of this because they've been able to use the same incision. This is no longer the case.
I'm cut open again, this time vertically from about 3 inches above my belly button to 3 inches below. They swear they've washed me out and warned me that this amount of trauma will likely lead to future issues.
Cue to 5 days ago. I've recently been diagnosed with Crohn's and I'm due to have plastic surgery to fix all the prior FUs that are not even mine. Monday I get to my destination after 20 ish hours of no sleep and air travel with a toddler. I don't poop, but no big deal, it'll come tomorrow. No dice Tuesday, Wednesday is surgery day. I take some narcotics, but try not to take many because the pain is manageable.
This leads us to today. I have not pooped in 7 days and while I've been eating healthy (3 servings of bread over 7 days and only chicken breast, raw veggies and ensure otherwise) and have taken 3 doses of a laxative I still can't make it happen. My amazing husband goes to the pharmacy for all the last resort items. While he's gone I get the urge but assume it's going to be more gas.
Friends, it was not gas. I'm currently trying to birth a 7 day old turd from my poor, unsuspecting rear end and I just want it to be over. Wish me luck, and say some prayers for the toilet.
TL;DR I had a bowel resection, massive intestinal trauma and now I haven't pooped in 7 days
FrostyFeet82: Retained foreign objects after surgery is a serious, sentinel event. In order for that to happen, the operating room team either didn't count properly, or didn't count at all.
Each layer the surgeon closes, depending on local regulation and hospital policies, a complete count of surgical sponges, sharps, and instruments should have happened.
For a C-section, the OR team should've counted at a minimum of 4 times. They should have counted before the incision was made to get a tally on what they had before going inside a patient, when they closed the uterus, the fascia, and right before they completely closed skin. Some ORs count even more than that.
Even if they forwent all of that, they should've taken a closing x-ray to see if anything was left behind before the patient left the operating room.
adamruinedme: Thankfully my husband has assisted on lots of births and other surgeries. I had to be a little vague because there was successful litigation surrounding the event. I appreciate your detailed response though and wish more people were better educated about the prices because I think this happens more than people know about
porty1119: >successful litigation
Good!
| 4 | 28 | |
1656305528 | 1656307113 | t3_vlndm2 | t5_2to41 | 14 | Carrotcake234-: TIFU by pulling an all nighter
Last night I decided to pull an all nighter so that I could play more video games through the night (namely red dead redemption 2 and rocket league). In the morning she revealed to me that we would be going to a water park. We went and it went well. When we got home I decided to lock my door so that I could change my clothes in peace, after changing my clothes I go on my phone. While on my phone I fall asleep. My mom realizes that I’m in my room, unresponsive, with the door locked. She becomes very scared and does everything she can to wake me up, screams for me, bangs on my door, and on my window, etc. She eventually calls the fire department and has them break my door down. I now have no privacy and a ugly ass broken door frame.
Tl;dr I pulled an all nighter playing video games. I went to a water park. I fell asleep with my door locked. My mom had the fire department break my door
Breezestreak: bah who needs a door when you have Red Dead though?
Carrotcake234-: Problem is that I have red dead behind my moms back which means that without a functioning door I can’t even play it
Breezestreak: ooof thats tough, i was gonna suggest going all hipster and getting a bead curtain to replace the door, but that wouldnt really solve the problem
Carrotcake234-: Lmao the bead curtain idea would be hipster as hell but yea I need to have to door so that I can finally get the stage ten beard with Arthur Morgan ;-;
Breezestreak: ahhh right in the memories, i havent played the base game since it was released, online is a blast though
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1656308336 | 1656359429 | t3_vlo59c | t5_2to41 | 19,268 | [deleted]: TIFU by using common sense to accidentally uncover a very dark and horrible series of events that lead to me having one less sibling.
[deleted]
rde42: My father was an only child. Or so I thought. Via Ancestry and other sources, I very recently discovered that he actually had two siblings.
The first was born in 1916 and died at four months old in an accident. The second was born in 1919, and only survived for a day. My father was born in 1926.
These are quite big gaps. I also discovered the reason for this. My grandfather was mostly in prison between 1916 and 1926;, and was out of prison when each child was conceived. He went back to prison not long after my father was born, and my grandmother moved away. When he came out (in 1929) he also moved, to the other end of the country.
He started out as a petty thief, and worked his way up to embezzlement. He died in prison in the early 1930s.
At least I know now.
For_the_Gayness: Those were some old records, how did you even found it?
tarabithia22: They aren't very old, in a genealogical sense. My mother is a professional genealogist and has records back to the 1400's for our family, but we were just farmers mostly.
JamesRMusicStudios: I've got records going back to 846 so I guess I'm lucky then
admiral_aqua: that's wild. Mine go back to the 1600s and I thought that was absurdly far back already
JamesRMusicStudios: Yeah it's crazy how records like this still exist, I don't wanna say who I'm descended from but they were pretty high up in society so I guess there would be solid records about them and whatever
admiral_aqua: damn way to make someone curious lol
probably some king's or royalty's descendant in front of me right now haha
JamesRMusicStudios: Yeah ur gonna be wondering who I am for the rest of ur life lol
admiral_aqua: I don't know about my whole life, but I'm definitely on the wiki page for the year 846 right now lmao. Is it Louis the stammerer, King of West Francia by any chance?
JamesRMusicStudios: Not quite, but you're kinda close
admiral_aqua: > kinda close
Geographically? Or royalty in general?
JamesRMusicStudios: Both
admiral_aqua: so French royalty, huh? My father's ancestors probably were ruled by yours then or something haha
I found out enough, but just for my personal morbid curiosity, is there a vast thinning of the branches (of the genealogical tree) some time during 1789 to 1799?
JamesRMusicStudios: Yeah I guess I'd say it was thinner then
admiral_aqua: Thanks for the insight, your highness ;) Very interesting indeed.
JamesRMusicStudios: Excellent, carry on squire!
admiral_aqua: I read that exclamation mark as the letter L at first and was a tad confused lol 🐿
JamesRMusicStudios: Lmfao
| 19 | 1,014.105263 | |
1656309938 | 1656338374 | t3_vlokfm | t5_2to41 | 36 | DM_ME_YOUR_NUDIESS: Tifu by creating an artificial rush at my job
This happened an hour ago and I just got off my shift. So I work at McDonald's and have been for a couple months now. I've learned a lot of things and am actually enjoying working here. I'm the lobby closer and thats what I do most days. Today I was asked to take over drive thru as someone went on their break. 10 minutes thats as long as I had to cover but, my dumbass handed out a wrong order, no biggie right? It'll just be subtracted from my pay, right? 50 fucking dollar order. Shit. So much food had to be remade and everyone was scrambling about, just trying to remake the food and get it out, But because I gave the wrong food to someone they drove off and the food that was supposed to be for them was handed out to the wrong people so 8 more mcchickens had to be made while that other order was still being prepared. This ended up taking so much time a huge line formed. So now we have to remake a lot of food to fix 2 orders while more orders kept being made and so an artificial rush happened. When I got off my shift at 10:30 pm there was still a small line. So now I'm in my truck crying because I'm definitely gonna lose my job and my paycheck is gonna have a huge dent in it.
Tl;dr: I handed out food to the wrong people, they drove off and another order was handed out wrong which created a line since a lot of food had to be remade. Now I'm fearing for my job and my paycheck is gonna be a lot less.
jester123456789: In what country do you have to personally pay for a mistake like that?
soipelez: No doubt the USA.
hardolaf: Well it's illegal here in the USA soo...
| 4 | 9 | |
1656310221 | 1656337889 | t3_vlomwv | t5_2to41 | 64 | phantx9912: TIFU by asking my grandfather for BEER
Obligatory this happened back when I was 6 or 7
I'm Indian living in another country, so when I was around 6, I went to India just to visit my grandparents and relatives, one day, me and my family had gone to an expensive hotel in the city I live in,
every body was talking, enjoying their time, until my grandfather ordered a beer.
Now, we don't have anything against him drinking, but the issue was, I WAS ASKING HIM FOR BEER.
he kept laughing, declining, the waiter came in and asked him what's the problem, now, if y'all know, apple juice has the same color as beer, so my grandfather secretly talked to the waiter and ordered apple juice, telling me IT WAS BEER.
I drank it, and thought I had actually drank beer, I had drank apple juice numerous times before that, still I didn't feel like it was apple juice, my brain must have made me think it was beer or sum.
My grandparents and my parents still talk about that day and it makes them laugh every single time.
My mom once told me he stopped drinking in front of me ever since that incident 🙃
TL;DR Asked my Grandfather for a beer while he was drinking when I was 6 or 7, tricked me and instead gave me apple juice.
TechNerd76: *laughes* That is adorable. Thanks for sharing that experience, it made me smile and laugh a bit.
phantx9912: Tysm for this sweet comment!
| 3 | 21.333333 | |
1656314638 | 1656340686 | t3_vlpqeq | t5_2to41 | 78 | United-Tax-3491: TIFU by trusting my gf.?
Throwaway for obvious reasons.. So I(27m) met GF(21F) when I was 24 and she was 18, through a mutual friend. We got along during group hangouts, enough to start hanging out 1-1. This went on for about 2 years, before we started dating when she was 20. She was always kinda weird about sex and doing anything sexual with me, which wasn’t a problem for me as she has a nice body, and I’m sure didn’t want me to just be using her for it, until her 21 birthday. The exact day after it (she had been hanging out with her family to celebrate), she decided that she wanted to have sex, which I was very happy about, because she finally trusted me enough. So no problems there, we got it over with, it was wonderful, end of story, until a few hours ago. It’s been about a week since her birthday, and she was talking to/catching up with an old friend of hers on the phone. I just happened to be playing one of my quiet games in the room over (mind you, she talks quite loudly when on the phone). They started talking about her birthday and GF said something along the lines of, “Haha, no there was no alcohol, I’m only 18 still!”, and my time froze. I immediately started thinking to myself that I heard her wrong, but I swear I heard it clear as day. She turned 18 on her last birthday. Making her 15 when we first met, and only 17 when we started dating. I am 27 years old, dating an 18 year old girl. I feel disgusting, and dirty. No wonder she didn’t want to have sex before her last birthday, it wouldn’t have been legal! I have no idea what to do, I’ve been freaking out for the last two hours. She doesn’t know that I know, and I’m dreading talking to her. She said that she wants to sleep over here (at my apartment), but I just don’t know what to do. I love her with my whole heart, but I just feel so gross dating someone who is 9 years younger than me. Please, I’ll take any advice. TL;DR Thought my gf was 20 when we were dating, she was actually 17
BroccoliPrince: That's a pretty hefty age gap at your ages, yeah. In ten years, a nine year gap gets a lot less weird, but right now? Very understandable that you feel uncomfortable about it, I'm about your age and would feel... Very not alright with dating an eighteen year old.
Idk. I'd say talk to her about it. Tell her what you heard, verify with other people you both know (her family or something? Facebook? Idk) what her actual age is (she may very well have been joking - I have friends who joke all the time about "covid years not counting", being younger than we are, etc etc)
If she actually *is* eighteen, she's kind of massively violated your trust by not telling you this. Actually, I'd go so far as to say that she violated one of the core principles of consent (IE; that consent must be informed, sober and enthusiastic. You weren't informed, you didn't know how young she was and by the sounds of it wouldn't have consented to dating and eventually having sex with her if you *had* known), and that's not... Really grounds for a healthy relationship.
JefferyTheQuaxly: the age gap literally isnt the problem, its the lying about your age and tricking your SO into dating a minor thats the problem. i dont think id be able to trust someone again after this. and i am dating someone 6.5 years younger than me, but at least they didnt lie about their age beforehand.
BroccoliPrince: Congrats, you didn't read my comment at all.
| 4 | 19.5 | |
1656316571 | 1656368181 | t3_vlq6v1 | t5_2to41 | 12,747 | [deleted]: TIFU by not understanding the difference between a bully and a friend
[deleted]
SemiSentientGarbage: You wholesomed them into being good people. I kinda love it.
vhm3: Wore them down eventually lol.
StanStare: Omg in any groups I grew up in it definitely would’ve got to the point where everyone felt protective of you. I remember a similar story with a lad who joined our school and went through all of that with the hugest grin on his face. Afterwards everyone defended him against anyone trying to make fun of him!
VoidLance: That kinda reminds me of something from secondary school, but not quite as wholesome. One of my friends (who used to beat me up every day until I finally told him that I didn't see it as a joke, but that's a different story, this one was after that happened) was saying some mean stuff about a kid I knew from scouts, and I snapped again, saying "that's not fair, he had a heart transplant at a really young age and had to go through so much since, and yet he keeps smiling brighter than anyone!" I still tear up at just how much emotion I put into that sentence. But then my friend said something else that was really insensitive about him and I slammed his face into a locker. So yeah, not quite as wholesome lol
FabulousStomachrty: I had two bullies in middle school and they literally fought one day when one saw the other picking on me.
Blahblah778: Probably wanted to be friends with you. One of my bullies told me that's why he did it. I don't fully get the logic but I think he had a tough home life, kinda makes sense
blessedblackwings: Children don't know how to process feelings and emotions, if their parents don't teach them (we all know the schools don't) they'll have no idea how to properly express themselves.
| 8 | 1,593.375 | |
1656317201 | 1656323344 | t3_vlqch9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by setting the A/C to heat
[deleted]
Captainschitqunt: This is an accident. I wouldn't call it a fuck up.
colasinas: It sure feels like a fuck up!
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1656318543 | 1656437890 | t3_vlqnel | t5_2to41 | 25 | Adviceplsss111: TIFU by eating a cookie
So my(f18) sister (29f) had “saved” a cookie for after her dinner. It was on the side and untouched in the bag sealed up. There was about 4 cookies in the bag and 3 had been eaten and I never got one. So I ate it.
My sister has extreme anger issues and sometimes I am genuinely scared of her Bcs I believe that if she wanted to she could hurt me. So I’m always trying to do things that could avoid getting her angry. E.g. never complain that she takes my shoes or clothes without permission Bcs the last time I did that it ended up with her yelling at me and calling me selfish.
Keep in mind I didn’t know the cookie was hers Bcs I thought she had already had one since I was the only person to not have one. It was my dad Bcs he has a big appetite.
She started yelling at me and my dad (m54) and calling us liars and kept looking around for the cookie. She got right up to my face and called me a liar. I don’t deal well with confrontation and I cry when people yell at me due to my sister and dad constantly yelling at each other Bcs of my sister issues when she was younger. I remember when she kicked the living room door down Bcs she wasn’t allowed to go out to her bfs.
She was yelling at me and my dad and I didn’t want to tell the truth Bcs I didn’t want her to yell at me or hurt me. I texted my mom (f57) what happened so she could buy more cookies on the way home from work. And my mom had texted my sister asking what happened then my sister yelled at me for texting mom and saying it wasn’t gonna help me. When she went to the kitchen she started yelling at my dad when he said there was no point in getting mad over a cookie. She told him to fuck off repeatedly until he went to the garage Bcs he also had a quick temper but doesn’t like taking it out on people so he goes for a ride on his motorbike.
When he left she called me a liar again and stormed off to her room. It made me cry and I do feel genuinely bad I ate her cookie but I didn’t even know it was hers and I didn’t want to upset her. So I lied. please any advice Is also appreciated.
TL;DR I ate a cookie and my sister got extremely mad and I feel guilty
RudeSprinkles1240: Your sister is 29 years old and throwing a fit over a cookie? Are you serious?
I'm sorry. Your sister is a pathetic, spoiled brat.
Background-Falcon-74: OP is 18 years old crying cause someone yelled at her.
RudeSprinkles1240: Edit: never mind. You're an actual child. You probably think being 18 is all grown up and mature. I don't engage with actual children on the internet.
Background-Falcon-74: My guy. I’m 15, I’m 3 years away from being 18.
RudeSprinkles1240: How cute. A literal child.
Background-Falcon-74: Bro how old are you then? Since I’m such a fucking child
| 7 | 3.571429 | |
1656320134 | 1656324666 | t3_vlr0ay | t5_2to41 | 183 | EveVx: TIFU by going to a nude beach alone
For context I’m a 5’5 not very intimidating (other than body language) 18 year old girl. I’m not great at being rude to people or just straight up saying no; I know that for safety you should just say no to strangers generally but I tend to believe people have the best intentions. :/
Everything was okay at first. It was a really nice hot day out so I just tanned for a while. I’m not an exhibitionist btw I just don’t really care. I definitely don’t find it sexual at all and I don’t sexualize others for being naked in this context; I had hoped that since it was a nudist beach, other people would have the same mindset: it’s just being naked and without sexual context, it’s not sexual. Just bodies. Most people seemed pretty chill, like that was their mindset, and I really appreciated that. People were naked, like 50% of the beach maybe, and it was really busy.
Some people tried to start conversations with me but I shut them down pretty easily with short responses and looking busy doing other things. Some other people were a bit creepy and at one point I thought someone was taking pictures of me so I left to go in the water for a bit and put on a swimsuit.
Then some older guy behind me started talking to me. It was okay at first because he seemed harmless and just wanted to “make friends” and he asked if it was okay to talk to me, to which I awkwardly said sure. During the conversation he asked me some questions that in hindsight seemed a bit intrusive, like he was gauging personal information about me (where I live, my age, ethnicity, etc). Eventually he ended the conversation and said it was nice talking and went back to sit behind me, so I just went back to tanning and reading my book/going on my phone etc. He offered me water at one point but I was paranoid there might be something in it so I declined. He also suggested I stay for sunset.
I went into the water again, this time no swimsuit, idk why lol. I had a nice swim, although there was one guy who kept looking at me creepily and then I just went to sit on my blanket until I dried off.
A older guy in front of me then asked if I could watch his things while he went to the bathroom. When he returned we ended up talking for over half an hour. It was a bit awkward but he seemed nice and he didn’t say anything sexual which was good.
Eventually he left to go to the washroom and another guy came over, he was younger and he asked if the other guy had been bothering me, to which I said no, I think he’s pretty harmless. He then asked for my number which I declined, saying I’m not really looking for friends. He looked annoyed by that and then said “give me your number” and I said no again to which sort of he shoved me in a playful way, but I was a bit taken aback. He came back a few minutes later and asked if I wanted to join him and his friends and I said no thank you I’m okay. I started packing up my things and shaking my blanket free of sand.
Then the first guy got up from where he had been sitting behind me and seemed upset. First he seemed annoyed I wasn’t staying until sunset, then he asked for my number. I said the same thing I had said earlier, I’m not really looking for anything like that, to which he seemed annoyed again and said “really?” then asked me what the younger guy had been talking to me about earlier. He got quite defensive, saying he wasn’t hitting on me or anything and asking if the guy thought he was harassing me. I just said no, he just wanted to know my name or whatever.
The other guy got back from the bathroom and I said goodbye since I was leaving the beach. He said goodbye too, it was nice chatting, and it was a short goodbye with no uncomfortable feelings.
I walked over to another part of the beach and then a younger guy came up to me. He asked if I was okay, he had seen the older guys talking to me and was wondering if they had been harassing me. I told him they seemed harmless and it was fine. He told me he had been watching for a while and was going to leave earlier but ended up staying for like 30 more minutes just to watch “to see if I was ok”. I may be small but I can handle myself fine and the beach was crowded enough that if anything went wrong I’m sure people would have helped me.
I assured him I was fine and he kept going on about how I seemed very young to be there, and that how I looked “might send the wrong signal”. Sorry for being nude at a nudist beach :/ where I’m *allowed* to be nude… Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I should have to worry about these sorts of things. And that’s victim blaming attitude—but okay. I wonder how much worse today would’ve been if I had worn makeup! That made the conversation a bit tense and he followed me off the beach; he kept alluding to how he had been watching me but was quick to say he “wasn’t stalking me or anything”. Eventually I managed to extricate myself by saying I was heading another direction and he asked for my instagram… When I said no he shut down and looked annoyed.
Day was redeemed when a sweet guy paid for my 7/11 hotdog for no reason though. Shoutout to him!! Really nice guy and he didn’t harass me :) just did a nice deed
**TL;DR: a bunch of creepy guys that just make you go :(**
voltaire_had_a_point: This read like a comedy sketch.
EveVx: … how?
voltaire_had_a_point: > Man comes
> Akward conversation ensures
> Man Leaves
> Another man comes
> Another akward conversation ensures
> Another man leaves
> Yet another man comes
> Yet another awkward conversation ensues
> Yet another man leaves
EveVx: truee
| 5 | 36.6 |
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