start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1656504945 | 1656558985 | t3_vneeqc | t5_2to41 | 13 | BRh2FourShot: TIFU by causing my friend to lose his RC plane.
I went to my friends place because he wanted to show me his remote controlled plane. He has a good size clearing on his property that goes down a slight hill and overlooks a tree line. The range for the controller apparently isn't very far (claimed to be but was not).
His much younger sister was over and kept pestering him to try it. At this moment I had the controller and did a loop around and the plane was now heading down hill toward the trees. I told his sister Cassandra that she could fly it for a few seconds. I passed her the controls with the intention of her handing it right back. She in fact did not and she took off running, controller in hand. Next thing I hear was my friend yell out to his sister and he had to pull the controller away from her. At this time it was too late. The plane was already passed the trees and unresponsive to the controls. We just stood there and watched it fly off deep into the woods until it was out of sight.
Now tomorrow we will be going out looking for it. I have severe doubts because the woods is thick and rough terrain. We have been friends so long he wasn't mad at me and I'm grateful for that. I do feel quite bad but in a way it was very funny and something we will never forget.
TLDR: I gave the controller to my friends RC plane to his little sister. She ran away with the controller and by the time he got it back, the plane was out of range and continued on it's own above trees and into the woods.
cheturo: I guess when you are the owner you wouldn't do what you did. So yes, you should pay for it.
BRh2FourShot: Of course I'm going to pay for it. He doesn't want me to and is being stubborn about it though like always. He's not mad or anything, he thinks it's funny now.
Ejz09: Many people would not be as responsible/mature. Good on you.
BRh2FourShot: Thank you I appreciate that!
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1656507632 | 1656539179 | t3_vnf9ro | t5_2to41 | 2,133 | Kammakurus1: TIFU by going to McDonald's
This morning I (M39) was going to work early and instead of making coffee and breakfast at home, stopped by McDonald's for a Mcmuffin combo. Waiting at a light in front of a busy freeway intersection I took a bite of a hash brown and started coughing, apparently sucking some delicious fried potato down the wrong pipe.
Suddenly I realize my car is slowly drifting forward because apparently I lost consciousness as I was trying to dislodge said potato, and was now very slowly inching towards traffic completely unaware. I am completely disoriented and confused, having seconds before literally been dreaming.
With luck somehow on my side I cough out a hunk of murderous deep fried death, get my foot back on the brake and resume my morning commute drenched in panic sweat but amazingly still alive.
Tl:DR
Ate McDonald's and death came faster than normal.
Edits:
Brake not break
Coffee not coffie
Colecovisions: The real question is.. Did you finish the rest of the hashbrown?
Kammakurus1: Sadly it fell on the floor, and given I don't know how long I was out the 5 second rule may or may not be viable.
thrwaway9932: Lol "5 second rule"? Hahahaha you're lucky you're not dead already...
Kammakurus1: Oh had it fallen in the regular course of events I would have left it on the ground. I swear.
Dammmppl: I think that's Hash abuse...depends on the cleanliness of your vehicle's floorboards though...
Kammakurus1: Not clean enough to eat off of, that's for sure
Dammmppl: TBH I'd be kinda worried if they were...
| 8 | 266.625 | |
1656510362 | 1656552401 | t3_vng7is | t5_2to41 | 204 | AreWeCowabunga: TIFU by almost getting my girlfriend and myself killed while snorkeling
Obligatory: this happened yesterday
I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years. She’s an awesome woman someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Right now we’re on our dream vacation: two weeks in Hawaii. On top of the general life in paradise vibe, one of the main reasons I wanted to go was for the snorkeling.
I consider myself pretty confident in the ocean. When I was younger I did a fair bit of scuba diving in Massachusetts. This wasn’t fun, easy diving. It was low visibility, shitty entry conditions, cold and difficult. I still loved it. Of course that’s almost 20 years ago now. Since then, I’ve done some snorkeling and have decided that, for the effort, that’s the way to go over scuba. My girlfriend, on the other hand, had never been snorkeling or diving before this trip.
Our hotel is near Kahe Point Beach Park on Oahu, which is supposed to be a really good spot to for snorkeling. What makes it so good is that it is located across the street from a power plant. The warm cooling water discharges into the ocean next to the park, attracting a lot of sea life. Of course, huge water discharge pipes cause for some tricky currents and all the write ups of the spot say to be careful not to get too close to the pipes because of this.
To me, this sounds like a great place to snorkel. Just need to keep the discharge in mind and everything should be peachy, right? Well, on our first day, we go to check out the spot. This would be my girlfriend’s first time snorkeling, remember. We get there and the beach is narrow and abuts directly against the big concrete wall that contains the discharge pipes. The beach itself is only about 100 feet wide. On the other side is a 20 foot high natural stone wall that offers no place to get out of the water.
Because of the shape, waves are funneled into the beach and there’s large breakers that are constantly coming in and breaking at the shoreline. That first day, we got in and tried to get our fins on and swim out, but I could tell my gf was getting scared and we got pummeled by some waves, so I called things off and told her we’d find an easier place for her first snorkel. She seemed very relieved about that. Over the next few days we did a couple of much easier snorkels in calm water and she really enjoyed it.
Yesterday morning we had a snorkel tour planned on a boat. It was the first organized tour we were scheduled to go on and I was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, it was canceled due to bad conditions and I was bummed. We cobbled together some other activities to do while we were supposed to be on this tour, but ultimately it was a kind of disappointing day. We got back to the hotel around 5, but I really wanted to get in some snorkeling that had been denied to me earlier. We had the choice of another easy spot to go where the snorkeling would probably be less than spectacular, or we could go back to Kahe and see if conditions were any better. We decided to check it out and see what it looked like.
When we got there we saw that, if anything, the waves were even bigger than the first day. On the other side of the power plant, separated by about 300 yards, was another, wider beach that was completely calm. Of course, that wasn’t good enough for me because I’d heard the good snorkeling was near the discharge pipe, which was at the narrow beach at Kahe. We went back to narrow beach and I asked my gf what she thought. With a couple snorkels under her belt, she said she felt ok about trying to get through the shore break and go in at the narrow beach. There was another woman we watched go out through the waves, so we figured if she could do it, it must be ok, right?
We watched the waves and timed it out to see that there was a pattern of seven big waves followed by two or three smaller ones where it would be easier to get through. Our plan was to wait out the big ones and swim through the small ones as fast as possible until we got out past the breaks. I told my gf to go first and I’d follow right behind her. So we waited for the seven big waves and she got in and started swimming as fast as possible through the smaller ones. I got in expecting to follow right behind, but almost immediately had an issue with my fins that I needed to readjust. She got through the small waves, but by the time I fixed my fins and was ready to follow her, the big waves were back and I ended up getting pummeled by several of them right at the shoreline and had to retreat to wait them out before I could go back in. By the time it was calm again, I could see her out pretty far, and I followed her in. Not going to lie, when I got in I realized just how hard it was swimming through even the “calm” waves and started to worry.
It took a bit, but I finally got out past where the waves were breaking. At this point I reassessed and tried to find my gf. I swam out to where I thought she was, but it was the woman we had seen before. She said to me “be careful, conditions are really bad.” At this point I was starting to worry and I still couldn’t find my gf. I finally spotted her another 40 yards out, probably 100 yards from shore in total, just sitting there at the surface.
I swam out and finally reached her and she was in the midst of a complete panic attack. Here was a beginning snorkeled who had just gone through a ridiculous entry through crashing waves expecting her more experienced bf to be right behind her and she had just been floating there for several minutes not knowing where I was or what to do. Apparently she had seen the woman too and had been warned about the bad conditions. At this point, I myself was tired and every time I tried breathing through the snorkel I would start to hyperventilate.
I did my best to try to calm her down and told her we’d go right back in and get out. That’s when I looked back at where we came from and saw just how violently the waves were breaking at the beach and on the concrete and rocks on either side of it. Each wave was kicking up huge spray 30 feet in the air as it hit on either side of the beach and it was just this narrow strip where we had any hope of getting out. At that moment I knew I had fucked up big time.
My gf couldn’t breath through her snorkel because of the panic, and I was barely any better. It was too difficult to time out the seven big waves to two smaller ones from out in the water, and without the aid of the snorkel, the idea of getting back in through the big waves was not a chance I was willing to take, and I don’t think my gf would have agreed to do it anyway. I decided we’d swim the 300 yards or so past the power plant and get out at the calmer beach. From the water, I could see that there was the area where the discharge pipe was, and another two jetties past that we’d have to get past before reaching the beach. It was long, but seemed to be the best option. Since I didn’t understand exactly where the water discharge from the plant ended, I decided we’d stay out the 100 or so yards from the shore until we got to the other beach.
So we started to swim. Neither of us are in amazing physical condition, and it was slow going. We were on our backs swimming backwards and neither of us could use our snorkels, so it was a struggle to keep our heads up and not swallow the sea water. I held my gf’s hand to try to keep her calm and things were going ok for the first 200 or so yards. That’s when the fatigue started to kick in. We slowed down and I wanted to stop to rest, but if we did the current just started taking us back in the direction we’d came. I don’t know how long we’d been swimming at that point, but it was probably around 25 minutes. We had no choice but to keep going.
We finally cleared the last jetty and were in front of the beach. The problem was that we were still 100 yards out from it. This is where it got really scary. I was tired, so I tried using the snorkel again and swimming face down because it was easier and faster this way. But again, after a few seconds of doing this I would start to hyperventilate and had to go back onto my back with no snorkel. In doing all this, we got separated and my gf was just swimming backwards away from me and not towards the beach. I had to yell at her for a while that she was going to wrong way and had to turn into the beach. Thankfully I finally got her attention and she made the adjustment. I don’t know if I could have caught up to her if she hadn’t heard me.
So we started swimming towards the beach, but at that point the tide was going out and the wind was blowing off shore, so we were fighting those two things with every kick. Luckily we were able to meet up again, but at that point I was exhausted and I’m sure she was too. Still about 75 yards from the beach and it was getting harder to swim and I started getting mouthfuls of sea water that I had to swallow because I couldn’t spit it out. It occurred to me at that point that that’s how people drown. I don’t know if anyone remembers the drowning simulator website where you are floating on water and have to keep hitting the space bar over and over to keep your head above water, but it gets harder and harder until you just can’t hit it fast enough and inevitably go under, but I actually started thinking about that as I was out on the water and how that could actually happen to us. Of course, you have no choice but to keep going. That was the worst part of it, knowing we were close but just losing energy with each kick, barely able to keep the sea out of your mouth.
Luckily at that point we were starting to get closer to shore. That helped a lot psychologically and by the time we were 50, then 40, then 30 yards I started feeling some relief. Finally we were close enough where we could reach the bottom and I can’t tell you how good that felt. We dragged ourselves onto the beach and went to sit down and my gf just cried for 10 minutes as I tried to comfort her. We had probably been in the water for 40 minutes by that point.
I felt horrible and just kept apologizing, but she thought it was her fault because of her panic attack. I tried to reassure her that I was the idiot that almost got us killed by insisting how much I wanted to snorkel that spot. Honestly, she made a great recovery and within another 20 minutes or so she was back to her normal self. I was, and still am, freaked out. I think she thinks the big story is that she had a panic attack and messed up our snorkeling experience, while I’m over here thinking I almost got both of us killed.
So I’m sitting here in the middle of the night unable to sleep, my whole body exhausted and depleted, knowing I made a horrible and potentially fatal mistake for both of us, and she’s sleeping, probably dreaming of what’s next on vacation. I feel really stupid because I definitely did not have the necessary respect for the ocean because I thought I knew what I was doing and let my desire for awesome snorkeling overcome my good sense.
Tl:dr - took my inexperienced gf out into terrible snorkeling conditions and we barely made it out alive.
superfriendlyav8tor: Electric Beach! Glad you both made it out OK, Hawaii waters are no joke even for the advanced swimmer. If the water calms down and you are feeling adventurous, follow the discharge pipe out to the deeper water, you can see fish and some turtles ‘playing’ where it empties. If you’re really adventurous, dive down right in front of the opening and you’ll be pushed by some nice hot water.
LordoftheExiled: I did this scuba diving but I wasn't aware it was a discharge pipe and got myself blasted. It was quite scary if you don't know what it is.
superfriendlyav8tor: Yeah that would be a wild ride if you weren’t expecting it. Luckily I went out there with a guy who lived there to specifically get launched.
AbunaiE: It's a dope little *ride* and will spit you out quite far if you get a good launch! I remember popping up, the warm water dissipating around me, and realizing I was in *open water*. Oh, yea, if you look on google earth you can see just how far out that pipe pushes out into the ocean, and if you look even closer, you can see the shadow of where it finally breaks into open water.
superfriendlyav8tor: You’re not kidding. That exactly the same thought I had when I popped up, like damn I am pretty far offshore.
| 6 | 34 | |
1656513853 | 1656529307 | t3_vnhgdp | t5_2to41 | 4,331 | ThePitcher3WildBunt: TIFU by eating garden lettuce
Have a veggie garden outside, we got some lettuce in there, it's delicious.
Picked off some pieces, gave them a rinse, thought I did a pretty good job.
Few bites, bit into something kinda weird, before I know it there a lot of...moving in my mouth. Never really felt anything like it before.
Turns out there was a spider egg (sack? bag of desapair?) that I missed, bit into it, and a rush of baby spiders tried to escape over my teeth and tongue.
This happened about 10 minutes ago. FML
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
tl;dr rinse your outdoor garden veggies \*really really really\* well or risk some friends with/for lunch
​
edit: going down a Spider Georg rabbit hole (spider hole?) rn, ty all lol
[deleted]: Alright. Im giving up salads.
ThePitcher3WildBunt: for sure--a pure baby spider diet from this point forward
ironmantis3: Protein rich. And if it helps, many of them would have eaten each other anyways.
ThePitcher3WildBunt: can't say that helps, can't say that hurts
ironmantis3: Do you have many problems with pests? Healthy spooder population should be keeping the garden healthy.
ThePitcher3WildBunt: oh ya my garden is killing it in that regard lmao hopefully I didn't sink things with the wiping of an entire generation of spiders
ironmantis3: I was getting some spiders on my tarragon but not enough. Hopefully the soldier bugs that are living on my peppers will migrate to the tomatoes where the flies try to get.
PS; Mizuna makes for a good salad and doesn't seem to attract spiders. Caterpillar on the other hand... I ate grubs in survival school. Im not sure if I would prefer spider gushers or not. Don't intend to find out though
ThePitcher3WildBunt: I guess if im finding silver linings in this massive hurricane dark cloud thats still blowing down my doors and windows, its that there was never a squish to be had from those bugs cause they were soo small
ironmantis3: The worst part was if they popped before a squish.
| 10 | 433.1 | |
1656515106 | 1656589156 | t3_vnhx4z | t5_2to41 | 47 | roxyjackson1994: TIFU by posting to a r/clothedpreggo
Obligatory not today but a few weeks ago.
I posted a pic of my fairly large belly in a new dressing gown to what I thought was a pregnancy fashion subreddit called r/clothedpreggo. Little did I know this was a place for people to jerk of to pregnant girls. And for girls to advertise onlyfans and such.
My inbox was immediately flooded with dirty messages. Many unwanted photos. Lots of very strange and weird comments and lots of people offering me money.
My account now lags when I open the app on my phone and I still get messages to this day even after deleting the post. My account is screwed and what I thought was a very innocent post turned into a full blown sexually frustrated nightmare.
The post also sound very suggestive if read the wrong waym but with context at the time it did not sound like that.
TLDR: I posted a pic of me in my new dressing gown and my inbox got flooded by horny Reddit users. So nothing special really.
Weak_Jeweler3077: Every day, I realise I haven't scratched the surface of Reddit.
latnGemin616: Maybe you shouldn't. There are areas of depravity you want no part of. Be happy in your current redditing state.
Weak_Jeweler3077: In Morgan Freeman's voice "He would look back on this moment in years to come, and wonder how different his life would have been had he taken that advice".
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1656515335 | 1656521307 | t3_vni09m | t5_2to41 | 10 | Kittencrazyboy: TIFU by being a single straight man
[removed]
PM_ur_Rump: Dude is on to something here. I don't think anyone has ever thought about making a place where men pay to ogle attractive naked women, and possibly have sex with them.
How is this not a thing already?!
grabityrises: they could even spend the might together
like a hotel
but just for bros
we could call it a BROthel
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1656514442 | 1656552314 | t3_vnho12 | t5_2to41 | 7 | YhouZee: TIFU by driving through a flood
I passed through a few inches high water to get to where my my street leads off the road, and lo and behold the water was thigh high-ish in my street. Somehow I never noticed before that the road in front my street dips before inclining up again, forming a literal bowl. I wanted to head back out but there was a line on the road so I kinda felt hesitant and foolishly drove through. Although I felt like a was losing control for a second, the car and I did make it home. I'm new to the area and have been only driving about a week if that explains anything.
I spent maybe a minute and half in the water, and my cabin got completely flooded. I've been m scooping and squeezing towels for over and hour (I don't have a vacuum machine) and the water seems to be infinite.
This is also a plea for help. What do I do to reduce potential damage? What components are most at risk? The car is insured but not in my name. My SO is so mad he won't respond to my calls. I plan to dry the car completely (or as much as is possible in this godforsaken weather) before ever starting it again.
It's a Subaru forester 2001.
TL; DR I drove through thigh high water for over a minute and flooded my cabin.
Optimal_Moose_7421: So unless your air intake went under or your revs stopped the car is likely fine and it doesn't sound like that happened since youd find out pretty quick especially if only waste deep
See video https://youtu.be/z0hkHUjx1ns
I'm going to say your main concern will be the icc (if the water got as high as the head unit) and interior ,your best bet to deal with both is to dry it out asap
If the rain has stopped get your car out in the sun with the doors open maybe go to your nearest Walmart or target whatever buy some fans and extension leads and start blowing through the open doors
YhouZee: Thank you!
What do you mean by head unit? The entertainment system?
The sun is very fleeting nowadays, if it appears at all. But I'll try what I can.
Now that I've thought about it, it was probably like thigh high tho. Everything does seem to be working fine, but I'm more afraid of future, lingering damage.
Do you think I can drive it say, tomorrow? Ignoring cabin stink and all that.
Optimal_Moose_7421: So the ICC starts about where all your buttons and nobs start the entertainment system aircon etc right above what I believe you Americans call a shifter (gear stick)
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1656517691 | 1656518470 | t3_vniwng | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by not going to the Police.
[deleted]
Professional-Ad3874: I don't know what police could've done about an email inviting you to meet for lunch, no matter how it was intended.
Just block him and move on. If people ask tell them it is a creepy stalker x-acquantance. Your current social circle isn't going to bail on you for him so try your best not to sweat it.
If the person starts showing up wherever you are please disregard everything above and begin to tske it more seriously.
TinyRascalSaurus: It wasn't just the bistro one. I got a lot of 'I know where you are' type ones too. They were clearly intended to let me know he knew where I was and make me believe he was watching me.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1656518604 | 1656609104 | t3_vnj953 | t5_2to41 | 143 | reboerio: TIFU by dropping my phone to catch a falling knife
Was reminded of this story when I was reading comments of an r/askreddit post.
This happened around two years ago and can be abbreviated as short as the title.
I was cooking a new recipe which meant I was scrolling on my phone back and forth between the ingredients and the preparation part of the website. Obviously I could have just cut all required ingredients and then start cooking, but who has time for that? I decided it would be best to follow the recipe as precise as possible, which meant a lot of "while cooking this, cut this and this and at it to the pot". Rushing the cooking was ensured.
Anyway, while trying to find the amount of celery sticks I needed to cut I heard a noice from behind me. As I turned around I accidentally knocked the knife off the counter sending it towards the floor. In a reflex I decided that saving the precious sharp edge was totally worth the risk, so I did the only logical thing: drop my phone and grab the knife. As you can imagine: I wasn't fast enough to save the knife, but I was fast enough to touch the knife, which meant the knife was able to cut me pretty good.
Now since the nearest hospital was 10 km away, I had no car, and none of my roommates where home, I needed to call a friend of mine and ask whether he could bring me with his car. But you guessed it: by dropping my phone I had broken the screen which meant it went unresponsive.
So there I was: without a phone and bleeding.
Luckily I'm Dutch so I did the only logical thing: grab a clean t-shirt to wrap around my hand and hop on my bike to cycle to the hospital to enjoy the cheap healthcare.
Lesson learned: Don't try to catch falling knives
TL;DR;
Dropped my phone while trying to catch a falling knife. Cut myself and had no way to call for help.
patriickz: Cheap healthcare? I've payed about 10.000 euros and never used any healthcare. Not that cheap If you ask me.
rinkimiko: Better than $500/month for a small family of three and still have $30, $75 and $200 copays, aaand $1000 (in network) deductible per individual or $8000 for the family. Oh and medicine tiers are $10, $35 and $75.... If covered at all.
Oh and my insurance refuses to pay for a shingles vaccine for me ($700 out of pocket). I am 29 and I've had reoccurring shingles since 25 and getting a shingles vaccine could help reduce flare ups, length and symptom severity (which happens to be getting worse with every occurrence)
Not to mention I have EDS that has been causing more pain and fatigue (amongst other issues) this year than it has for me ever but I can't see anyone for it because it will all be out of pocket and THAT is expensive AF.
patriickz: Healthcare is free here till you're 18. That's the good thing haha. Also we have to pay if the price is under a certain amount with the mandatory plan. For me it's like the first 800 euro out of my pocket. But yes it's worse there. I just wish we had a choice here. I could set aside money till I'm 50. And if don't get really sick than I have 60.000 euro. Without interest even.
rinkimiko: Due to insurance lobbying, having health insurance is mandatory. If you don't have it you are fined every year come tax season depending on how much $ you made. Instead of my 21yo student sister getting $ back tax season she ended up owing almost $300 because our parents dropped her off their insurance.
patriickz: Yes I know. But here in the Netherlands I wish it was possible to have a choice. People like me are making this system possible. Never using healthcare but still paying every year. While people that live unhealthy and/or are fat pay the same amount and actually use healthcare from time to time. But it's definitely a better system then most other countries have(Netherlands).
| 6 | 23.833333 | |
1656519251 | 1656607950 | t3_vnji6t | t5_2to41 | 137 | MidwestStritch: TIFU by not deleting photos off my phone…
This happened yesterday, I 23(m) saved some photos from a group text of a girl I used to talk to. Not a great look when my gf(23) looked through my recently deleted photos and found them. I only used the photos once, don’t need to tell you what for, but I still feel super gross about it. What I did was wrong and I hope she doesn’t leave me for it. She’s honestly the best thing in my life, but I can’t blame here for feeling like I cheated on her. I never would, but if she had photos of a guy she used to talk to id have trust issues too. Like I said, I can’t lose this girl because the relationship is great, I just have a smooth brain and potentially ruined everything. Not looking for sympathy ik it’s gross. Just a rant, hopefully you guys learn from my stupidly gross error.
TL;DR I used photos of I girl I used to know for gross reasons and my girlfriend found them.
throw23231away: Get a life dude, I hope she finds better because wtf is this lmfao you literally cheated
bewst_moar_bewst: Lol. “Cheating” by him wanking to his ex?!
throw23231away: …is it normal to pleasure yourself with an ex? Are you trying to tell the girlfriend you aren’t over her?
bewst_moar_bewst: He wasn’t pleasuring himself *with* her. He was doing it to the *idea* of her. Not the same. I don’t tell my s/o what I masturebate to, in general. I’m sure that have an idea, but bringing it up is not gonna help their self esteem.
throw23231away: The idea of her. He ideally wants her. He can’t get it from his own girlfriend and has to look at his EX? Yeah he’s totally over his ex.
bewst_moar_bewst: ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Lol. Ok. Grown ups don’t care about stuff like this.
throw23231away: No counter argument? And everyone has different boundaries so some “grown ups” do. Don’t talk to me like I’m 5 asshole
| 8 | 17.125 | |
1656519575 | 1656523227 | t3_vnjms7 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by making VERY dark jokes in school
[deleted]
sg12412: While humor is a coping mechanism, it's not the best. I hope you are getting therapy.
IamaLuna-tic: Yeah, but it works really well for me. I am not getting therapy, as i have no time, but probably next year!
sg12412: Let me tell you as someone who waited way to long to get therapy, although I wasn't a victim of SA, the longer you wait the more damage it causes to you mentally. I'm sure you're busy as a 16y/o in school but you can't find 45 minutes a week? My CPTSD has gotten severely overwhelming due to the fact that I had waited so long to get into therapy to deal with it, which has led to anxiety and depression and a general disdain for people.
| 4 | 3 | |
1656520966 | 1656531728 | t3_vnk6b5 | t5_2to41 | 28 | accountthatoneguy: TIFU by finally sharing my fantasy and chickening out
So I (23m) like eating my own cum sometimes. I watch CEI porn sometimes and usually don’t go through with it, but if I’m super horny I’ve put my legs up and cum into my own mouth. My wife does not know I do this or that I watch CEI porn.
That said, I want to bring this kink to our sex life and have her part of eating my own cum. So far I’ve asked for a kiss after a BJ, which she did after swallowing. She asked after if I wanted to taste cum and by then I was out of sexy-time mood and didn’t really answer.
A few weeks later during a BJ I was sooo horny so I asked again, and she kissed me again. This time she was like “what do you want me to baby bird it to you?” in like a half joking teasing way. I again kind of avoided the question.
Anyway recently she was blowing me in the shower and I was having a crazy debate like do I say something. “Remember when you said about baby birding it?” “What do you mean?” “Like after I cum, baby birding it into my mouth…yes I want that”.
She kept sucking me and had some questions like “what just kiss you? You want to drink your own cum?” I was all flustered being like “I don’t know I guess”. She said okay and eventually I came.
But I’m so mad at myself - she stands up with a huge load in her mouth to kiss me, and I go “I don’t want to”. I was so in my head and lost all desire. She spit it out and was kind of upset, saying she feels like she did something wrong.
That was a while ago and no BJs or mention of it since. Ugh what have I done
Tl:dr finally brought up my biggest fantasy and totally blew my chance, now she thinks she did something wrong
Turtleman616: Well that’s enough Reddit for me today, my poor eyes.
Nirket: You read the whole post, I guess you was enjoying it 
Turtleman616: Yes, entertainment at its absolute pinnacle.
| 4 | 7 | |
1656521030 | 1656521671 | t3_vnk769 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting high at work
[deleted]
Dano4600: Hafd a friend die doing that shit quit being an idiot
JeffGoldblume: I'm well aware of how dangerous it is.
Dano4600: Imagine you die with a can of fucking duster next to you.
JeffGoldblume: I certainly can
Captainschitqunt: I see what you did there
| 6 | 1 | |
1656522557 | 1656735067 | t3_vnkt2n | t5_2to41 | 32,897 | Patrickn104: TIFU by having sexy time with my girlfriend at a VRBO
This happened last night. My girlfriend and I are staying at a VRBO with a nice private pool. We decided to get naked and have a sexy sunset swim. We ended up on the stairs leading into the pool and my gf started giving me a blowjob. That ended pleasantly enough and we got out to shower and continue our evening.
This morning I got up and found a home monitoring screen in the kitchen. On it were two camera angles — the front door…and the pool. I clicked on the pool and there were several clips of previous families having fun in the pool. The last 30 minute clip is just me and my gf, swimming naked and ending with me getting blown.
I tried to delete the clip but it’s asking for a PIN. I showed my gf and we looked up ABnB rules for security cameras. As long as it was disclosed in the listing it is not against the rules. I’ve accepted that we should have read the fine print. But now I have to contact the owner and ask them to delete the clip and trust they won’t copy it.
TL;DR: got a bj from my naked gf in a pool and it’s all on security video
EDIT: typos
MayorOfChedda: Maybe they don't watch or might just use it for damage claims to the property. Or maybe it will go in their private collection.
Patrickn104: Regardless, if I can view videos of previous renters then so can the next people that rent the place.
Hope499: Yeah, everyone is gonna be making a copy. Keep checking pornhub for updates.
Patrickn104: Finally I’ll be famous.
c00kies44: Smoking hot babe blows guy who won't shut up about pool shrinkage
Teriyakijack: It shrinks?
paranoid_70: Like a frightened turtle
doc_ee: r/unexpectedseinfeld
mcnathan80: Unexpected like a cop catching me peeing in public...
dacreativeguy: I have uromysotisis!
mcnathan80: It's a serious condition!
| 12 | 2,741.416667 | |
1656522302 | 1656530092 | t3_vnkpkw | t5_2to41 | 32 | SniperWoof7: Tifu: gave a bday gift and accidentally declared war with someone
This happened about a few weeks ago and I'm still low-key sad about it. For the last 6 months, I've been playing videogames with a friend for 3-8 hours a day. We just had compatible personalities and the same lack of impulse control when it comes to online shooters. We were pretty close as online friends can go, and for his bday I gave him a gift pack consisting of a lot of snacks,desk ornament, two t shirts for packing and a sentimental note (the gist of it was, glad we met randomly, specifics on random favors that he did for me, he was an awesome person, don't know what will happen in the future, will cherish memories, sincerely, me).
This wasn't the first time I've sent online friends gifts or bday gifts. I've given extra 150$ headsets and a PS4 with like 20 games to different friends (i keep upgrading my stuff so I have a lot of stuff I just have lying around). I don't expect anything in return, just happy that they could use it.
What I didn't piece together is that for the past six months he's been complaining about his bitchy girlfriend and this was interpreted as romantic interest by her. He got a lot of pressure from her and it really affected our friendship so I decided to unfollow and disconnect from him because I didn't want to cause problems in their relationship and it was giving me anxiety. I'm a female and I've been in a good relationship for 13 years and didn't consider how this sentimental gift would look to someone. My bad.
The ironic part is that I thought he was gay ever since I noticed he donated 2k to a <20 yo fitness and videogame streamer on twitch, $500 in one day after that guy posted a new workout fitness video. (My friend is a college student with over 100k in student loans). I just thought he didn't know or wasn't willing to accept it yet, he's from a very conservative part of the country and I was trying to be supportive.
Anyway I fucked up because I was blind to the fact that this would have caused problems, also shouldn't have used the word cherished. That was too strong. Fml. Now I've got to find someone else to play with
TL; DR: gave my friend bday gift, his gf didn't like that.
pyroagg: Your friend sounds like they are bad with money. What FPS do you play most?
SniperWoof7: Game of choice rn was rebirth island wz. We got like 400+ wins together and we only played for like 4 months. Before that we were caldera.
pyroagg: I should redownload WZ one of these days.
SniperWoof7: There's a new map so that's interesting. It's hard to pick it back up bc you have to level up the meta guns
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1656525035 | 1656538187 | t3_vnlra5 | t5_2to41 | 223 | DoorVonHammerthong: TIFU and found out what is like to get toothpaste on the b-hole
Today, like most days, I took a shower. Sometimes, I like to brush my teeth in the shower. You got your hot water, little steam, and just **go to town** with that toothbrush. Make a little mess, mid-sesh rinse, no problem! Switch to the pulse setting for a pressure washed clean. Perfect.
As I was showering this morning, my toothbrush slipped and I dropped the toothpaste onto the little half seat thing in our shower. No big deal, right? *WRONG.*
Now, my wife's been out of town for a few days. And, when in the course of human desires, it becomes necessary for one man to undertake certain tasks solo, and a hot steamy ambiance concurs, one must assume the power of self and burp the worm.
So, this leads up to me sitting on that little half seat thing, and I eventually notice a certain... Freshness. A slight tingling. A distracting iciness. Quickly becoming an all too wintergreeny bite on my brown eye. My error becomes very apparent. I drop the task at hand to try and rinse my way out of a burning sensation.
But It's too late. The damage is done. For several hours I'm constantly reminded about how I accidentally cleaned both ends with the same product.
**TL;DR:** forgot I dropped toothpaste on the shower wank station and learned something I never wanted to know
realtors-suck: First, who the fuck brushes their teeth in the shower? Is this actually a thing people do?!?
Second, it sounds like you put your vibrating toothbrush in ya booty hole and are making up excuses.
But hey, I won’t judge or kink shame. You do you brotha!
TrojanThunder: If you shower in the morning before work it can be a nice time saver. It's a thing.
alexjaness: i don't see how you can save time, you also waste a shit ton of water by doing it in the shower.
normally all you need is one splash to start the brush, then one handful of water to wash it out. meanwhile you will be wasting gallons of water while you brush since there is no way you are doing anything else while you brush.
Unless you are really amazing at multi tasking and can concentrate on brushing and washing your butt at the same time (god forbid you get confused halfway through)
OkConcern8414: You can brush your teeth while leaving conditioner in your hair before you wash it out. Just use your head its not that hard and doesnt waste water. People literally take hour long showers and you think brushing your teeth in the shower is a waste? Lol
alexjaness: I guess this just comes down to a matter of efficiency. I usually put in shampoo/conditioner and wash myself while they do their thing.
do you just wait there in the shower while your conditioner does its job? that seems very inefficient and wasteful of water.
I also take only 20 minute showers, I can't understand how anyone can take an hour long shower...I mean beyond the usual "I'd rather be in here than deal with shit out there" excuse A.K.A. "The long poop defense"
OkConcern8414: No, as i said i brush my teeth while leaving the conditioner in. Its not that hard to wrap your head around this concept man its not rocket science. I also take 20 min showers. I get in, rinse off, wash my hair with shampoo, then put conditioner in and brush my teeth while leaving it in and brush for a few mins then wash my body. Can still do this within the same time frame as your shower and i dont use a shampoo/conditioner mix
realtors-suck: 20min showers?!? Good lord…5-7mins tops…and again, where are you leaving you’re toothbrush while you’re rinsing and soaping up???????
And if you tell me you leave your toothbrush in the shower, I’m just going to block you now. No need for further debate, that’s fucking gross.
OkConcern8414: THeRe Is A sEpArATe ArEa I lEaVe My ToOtHbRuSh.
Ffs please use your brain already. Its not sitting on the tub or near shampoo or anything. How is that any more gross than leaving it on the sink where you might shave etc? Jesus christ youre dumb
Edit: also if you only take 5 to 7 mins in the shower id question how clean you really are. Its like youre a child rushing to get your shower over with as fast as possible lol.
Intensifyy: I have nothing to add to this conversation other than I enjoy watching bickering about brushing your teeth in the shower lmao
| 10 | 22.3 | |
1656525580 | 1656644043 | t3_vnlytb | t5_2to41 | 57 | Orsus7: TIFU by mouthing off to a spamming health insurance solicitor
[removed]
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: Next time you have some time to spare pick up the phone, keep them on the phone as long as you possibly can - have a pre-prepared list of questions, tell them you need answers to all of them, ask them everything they need to know, request that they take down all the information so you don’t have to go through it all again to take up the policy, make them wait while you ‘look up’ the answer to every question. Be really polite and apologetic all the way through, tell them stories that they don’t need to hear but daren’t interrupt. Make sure the last one is about how you’re not allowed to spend any money without your other half’s approval because they don’t trust you with the money they earn.
I did this with the “you’ve got a virus on your computer” scammers. Kept the last one on the phone for nearly an hour. That was over a year ago so I guess they put me on the “do not call” list lol.
RAWisROLLIE: You might enjoy the YouTube/Twitch account Kitboga.
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: Lol I’m going to be entertained for hours there - and learn some new tricks
| 4 | 14.25 | |
1656527305 | 1656543542 | t3_vnmmv9 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Big_Pete_78: TIFU and managed to chafe something I didn't know that I could!
Obligatory this wasn't today, but at the weekend!
I went for a walk on the weekend with the wife, it was a nice day, windy, but warm, and very muggy. We did about 5km, so not a long one, but long enough for a chunkier lad like me to get a bit of a sweat on.
About 3km in, my pecker starts to get a little itchy, I think it's just the heat, so play a little pocket snooker to get things lined up again and comfy to carry on with the walk.
I had a couple more rounds during the last 2km, but still thought nothing of it.
For the rest of the day, I'm acutely aware of this stinging itch down there. So when I get 5 minutes to myself (not easy when you have a toddler), I pop out my old chap and audibly gasp at my red and inflamed foreskin.
I immediately take to Google to see what it could be, all of the results suggest that it's an infection but to poor personal hygiene. I doubt this though as I wash my bits daily... I mention it to the wife and she suggests calling the doctor in the morning.
Later on, when it's time for bed, my Johnson is still feeling sore as hell, but this time I noticed some blood in my jeans (but not in my boxers), so the missus says that it could be a bit of chafing. And upon closer inspection, the sore is all along the end of my foreskin and nowhere else, so chafing makes sense.
Cut to now, three days later, I didn't call the doctor and I'm glad about that, the chafing is still sore, but you can see it's trying to heal. It stings like a bitch when I pee unless I pull the skin back, but because of the healing, the elasticity of it has gone and it's really tight. I'm slapping on the moisturizer though and it's looking a hell of a lot better.
But I never knew you could chafe your foreskin until now!
TL;DR A longish walk on a humid day in jeans, lead to me chafing my foreskin, leaving it red raw and sore as hell!
wormfighter: Marathon runner here. Body glide, get it!
Also use it on your nipples.
Big_Pete_78: I'll hunt some out ready for next time
buddha125: Vaseline works well too. I carry a little travel size tube if I think I’m gonna be engaged in “chafing type activities”.
| 4 | 9 | |
1656534228 | 1656538499 | t3_vnp9f1 | t5_2to41 | 4 | HazelEquestrian33: TIFU by not understanding that a guy was trying to flirt with me
Today I fucked up. I went to the pool with my little sister. Anyway, there were a ton of my classmates there because our city is fairly small and pretty much everyone goes to this pool. By this time I had seen a few people I knew and said a quick hello but that was all since I wasn't actually close to anyone there.
After a little while, a large group of boys my age show up and I know a few of them. I'm kinda one of the nerdy girls so I'm used to being ignored completely but one of them says hi to me. I'm a tad bit surprised but I say hi back, assuming they were just being friendly. All of a sudden all of them say hi despite the fact that I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHO HALF OF THEM ARE! It disturbs me a little but I brush it off quickly.
Later, one of the random guys in the earlier group walks bye and says hi to me USING MY NAME. I said 'hi random person I don't know!' because I'm cringey as fuck and I seriously didn't know who this dude was and it was freaking me out. Then he proceeds to tell me that he is actually one of my friends (we'll call them A). When I say no you're not, he says 'yeah you're right. I'm her boyfriend.' and starts talking about other stuff that I didn't really listen to but the words 'man stuff' was used. What the hell is 'man stuff'?
Turns out, according to some not super close friends who informed me via text, said he LIKED me and he took me as responding as a sign that I FUCKIN LIKED HIM BACK. I suppose me being confused and creeped out by this random dude who recognized me (even though I still don't know who he is) is considered AttRaCtiOn in this nutty world. So now I'm being shipped. I'm literally a fucking lesbian. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? THERE ARE RANDOM PEOPLE TEXTING ME FROM MY CLASS WHO I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE MY NUMBER TO ABOUT THE 'cute flirting I did at the pool'. I LIKED BEING IGNORED BETTER! I Fucked up.
TL;DR don't respond to random dudes who are saying weird things to you. Don't do it out of politeness either because next thing you know, you're a lesbian being shipped with a straight dude.
Chordus: // My fear of large crowds is a bitch
// a big empty room is my niche
// and when I go out
// I'm reminded about
// how I'd rather stay home and watch Twitch
Rectal_Scattergun: Niche doesn't rhyme with bitch or twitch though.
Niche is pronounced "neesh"
Chordus: Either is correct. A few dictionaries suggest that "nich" is more common in America while "neesh" is more common in the UK, others make no differentiation regarding UK/US pronunciations.
| 4 | 1 | |
1656536444 | 1656546915 | t3_vnq4ne | t5_2to41 | 5 | quietlyashamed2021: TIFU by sleeping with my mom's best friend.
[removed]
undercoverhippie: So you and your dad are tunnel buddies.
Kmix1987: Lmao I've never heard this before...this actually made me lol
Flinglebop_: Stirred his dads porridge
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1656537384 | 1656537853 | t3_vnqcjt | t5_2to41 | 4 | MuckFichigan19: I’m in the US, so it must’ve been a worldwide phenomenon
tanglekelp: Yeah my mistake! We had a big one here that ended up with thousands of people and stuff getting broken, it was a whole thing. I didn’t know the name we gave it was based of an American movie!
MuckFichigan19: Yeah there was a period that lasted about a year where every party was talked about how it would be a “project X” party, but I lived in a relatively small town and nothing ever got anywhere near to that scale that I’m aware of. It was actually kinda funny
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1656539240 | 1656740133 | t3_vnr8ev | t5_2to41 | 36 | Ok-Consideration-248: TIFU by trying to examine an abscess on my tonsils with a small crochet hook. (Graphic)
I have had pain on my tonsil for weeks, and I haven't been able to get in to see a doctor. I finally grabbed a flashlight and looked in my mouth. Then I grabbed a small crochet needle (the kind used for doilies) I had nearby, and sanitised it. I started poking the abscess just to get an idea of what was going on with it (I now know this was dumb as hell). To my absolute shock and horror, the hook slipped into the tonsil tissue and embedded. The more I tried pulling it out the more stuck it was getting and the deeper it was going into the tonsil. I panicked and twisted it a few times as well, which caused it the abscess to burst and blood to go everywhere. Still it wouldn't come out. After a few minutes of this I had a strong urge to swallow as my mouth was building up with saliva and I also have this reflex to swallow when I'm nervous, but I instantly had an intense jolt of fear when I realised that swallowing could potentially make the injury way worse (I would have had to close my mouth over the crochet needle and the swallowing process could have pulled the tonsil in a bad way). I started just letting the saliva drip all over me and tried to ignore that the best I could, but it fully freaked me out that I was stuck with my mouth open. I had to look myself in the eyes in the mirror and tell myself to stay strong and that it'd be okay. But I couldn't find a solution and I was frantic so I'd periodically freeze in place. I had to also weigh up if I should try calling an ambulance as the level of stuckness was becoming more clear. But I felt so embarrassed by that thought that I decided to just yank it out and deal with the consequences Maybe 8 minutes had passed and I decided dealing with the pain would be better than the unknown with it being stuck. I started pulling firmly and my tonsils started coming loose from the wall of my mouth, which of course disturbed tf out of me. It was an intense tugging sensation. Blood everywhere. I got it out and immediately fainted on my bedroom floor. Went to my bed and cried as I tried to process what the hell just happened. 11/10 idiot. Going to the doctor asap.
TL:DR Tried to investigate my tonsils with a crochet hook and it got very embedded into the tonsil wall. Had to yank it out with force, and then I passed out on the floor.
ThinkCow83: I call BS!
perpetualwindowpane: Nah man, something similar happened to me when trying to get a tonsil stone out. Tonsils are a weird spongey tissue that can easily get hooks embedded in them. Gotta use a flat blunt object to avoid this kind of terror.
Ok-Consideration-248: Exactly, and I oddly feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in having something like that happen. But as far as having photo proof... Like, through all that horror I did not stop to take photos. I am not trying to prove anything either, I know what happened to me hahaha. My husband just recommended I put this in here so other people can learn from my idiot mistake. 🙃
roostertree: I dated someone in the long ago who would squeeze her tonsil stones out with regular knitting needles (no hook danger). Those few years, I got a handful of stones, too, but I could scrape them out with my pinky nail (which is also gross; FWIW I'm a fastidious handwasher and fingernail scraper).
~~Seeing as that was my only time with stones, and she got them regularly, I wonder if there's something dietary that causes the tendency.~~ Googled. Apparently, we don't excrete through the tonsils. Stones are just collections of junk that got caught in the throat and (literally) stuck around.
| 5 | 7.2 | |
1656540689 | 1656572217 | t3_vnrs8u | t5_2to41 | 4,355 | chaotictrashbin: TIFU for thinking i had friends
I feel a bit sad right now... I was always the lonely kid during school so I was really really excited because i thought I was finally making friends in university , they talked a lot with me and were kind and all, so i decided to invite my "friends" to my beach house, my plan was to everyone bring some food and we would kinda make a picnic in the beach. When i talked to them about it during classes they all seemed like the idea, but over the holidays I created a group chat with 13 people a few days ago and invited all them... they complete ignored me. everyone saw the message but only 4 people said something, all declining the invitation cos they "couldn't do it", i feel so sad cos they didn't even bother to say something... Im not even sad aboute the people who couldnt make it, because they at least cared to say something. I was just so excited to have a fun day with my new friends.. but ig i was wrong. I always sucked at socializing and was so happy thinking i was finally getting friends, now i just fell ignored and tbh i think i will just go back to befriend stray cats and isolate from people
Edit: I've been reading all the comments and I want to thank everyone for the advice, unfortunately I won't have the opportunity with the same people cos I will be moving out of my country next month, but next time I will invite people privately one by one, you all ate amazing with relationships! That's rlly cool
You're all virtually invited to my beach house and now you are my cool reddit friends
And I never stopped or will stop befriending the kitties, I love them
TL;DR : Invited 13 people for my beach house, no one even replied to the invitation
curious_corg: Well looks like they just missed out on a swanky beach house.
I only know as much as you're telling us but it seems like your relationship with these people is limited to just being schoolmates. Maybe the beach house idea while sounding great was a bit strong? You gotta cultivate these friendships, an invite over to your house might've been a bit much so start smaller, something neutral like getting food. You'll get there man, rooting for you!
Armando_Jones: Came here to say the same thing.
Start small, go out for beers. See a movie, etc...
Don't be too quick to toss all these people imo, id be doing the same thing as them if a school friend invited me to a beach house.
Honestly id probably only do something like that with very close friends
chaotictrashbin: First of all, thanks to the adivice! but just for info, im a girl, and in my country , getting to schoolmates house is pretty common, especially cos we've been doing other activities like luching and studying togheter for more than 6 months now, i rlly dont know what happened, but yeh it could be it! thanks
finnky: I personally would always reply when invited, but it isn’t uncommon for people to “ignore” messages, sometimes even unintentional. We all have too many things needing our attention. Let’s give your friends the benefit of the doubt and say they simply forgot about replying.
Many people have said 13 is a large group and a little impersonal. You would have better luck and better response if you invited only 4.
Don’t take this rejection as a reflection of your friends. Everyone deserve second chances.
Additionally, social interactions are mostly trial and error. Just keep at it. Keep an open eye and open mind for new people.
axisrahl85: Honestly with 13 people, OP might not be the problem. There could be somebody on that guest list that they're not wanting to hang out with.
hk47999: The number of social engagements I’ve avoided for this very reason…
Winjin: Oooof, yeah. There's a great chance OP is friends with someone who is ok in a school environment but is, like, hard to handle over a weekend.
I had uni friends like that. Maybe nice to hang out on breaks that are like 5 minutes and lunch that is what, an hour, but a whole weekend with them? Hell no.
| 8 | 544.375 | |
1656539624 | 1656547605 | t3_vnrdhv | t5_2to41 | 17 | s0vrsw33tg0ne: TIFU by missing my college graduation
I graduated highschool in the year of 2020, had no ceremony or prom and spent the pandemic basically depressed. Until this day I get waves of sadness around that time period because of the amount of people I lost touch with and many more things. College started online too, and it made my depression worse. I started in 2020 and I get my degree this year. I’m currently taking a summer class and then I’m all done. The past two years in college I managed to become an honor student with a 3.9 GPA and I’m in some weird sorority that only honor kids get into. In highschool i didn’t give a shit about stuff like that. But being in college made me realize how hard and stressful it is compared to highschool and I somehow managed to get into honors. So I realized I should look more forward to my college graduation instead of being so sad about missing my highschool one, because I’m actually proud of myself. That being said, the school made it seem like there was a ceremony for students who have to take summer classes but said we could go to the ceremony in may 2022 if we wanted to. I didn’t think it made sense for me to go to a ceremony in may without all my credentials and decided to wait until august graduation. Well yesterday I found out there is no august graduation. I would have to graduate with the class of 2023 next may which I also see no point in. Anyways I fucked up and been depressed for the past two days.
TL;DR accidentally missed my college graduation by thinking there was another ceremony for students in the summer.
Professional-Ad3874: If it makes you feel better I went to mine and don't really remember much about it now. Seems like a big milestone at the moment but it will get lost in a sea of others.
iPod3G: Second that. It’s less memorable than a funeral or a 2nd cousin’s wedding. The paper you get that says you graduated is what matters, not walking across a stage for a few claps. It opens the door to opportunities.
Move on and make that degree work for you.
Congratulations. You did well. I’m proud of you.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1656541872 | 1656558096 | t3_vns89a | t5_2to41 | 9 | ScarTheGoth: TIFU by drinking peanut oil
This happened years ago, but essentially what happened was that my dad asked me to refill his cup of soda. I ask him where the soda bottle is, and he points to where a plastic 2 Liter was. I thought that it was weird that it had no label on it, but maybe my little sister ripped it off. It also had no carbonation, but, ultimately I thought it was just flat. (They kept the peanut oil for frying and cooking in a 2 liter bottle.) what makes it worse is that it had a brown color to it, because I’m pretty sure it was used. I took a sip of it, and was like “huh this soda tastes weird”, but I ultimately ignored it. I took a second sip and was like, “seriously something must be wrong”.
Well it was oil, peanut oil, that’s what was wrong. I ultimately had to poor it out, because you can’t drink that stuff, but I had to be careful because it can clog drains and stuff.
My dad never let me live it down for years. But, in my defense, my sister sipped plant food, I think, thinking it was Gatorade, because it’s blue, so I’m not alone.
TL;DR
Peanut oil was kept in 2 Liter bottle, I filled a cup with it, and drank multiple sips before realizing it was in fact oil, and not just flat soda.
Silky_Johnson7: Your family isn't that bright huh?
ScarTheGoth: I don’t understand why anyone would put oil in a 2 liter bottle? You’d think to at least label it oil with sharpie or something.
FlowerBambiThumper: Pretty sure most folks can look at cooking oil and tell it’s cooking oil.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1656528667 | 1656559630 | t3_vnn5gs | t5_2to41 | 32 | Cheeseballll_: TIFU by asking my dad to let me ride his friends car
Im 21 and ive never drove a car because nobody would let me even get a feel for it. And today after trying for 5 years I’ve finally convinced my dad to let me ride in a straight road for 2 minutes he gave the seat to me and since im new my muscles weren’t really adjusted to driving with my feet (i drive motorcycles) he told me to press the breaks and to change into drive mode I accidentally pressed the accelerator and changed into drive so the car went ahead a little bit faster I managed to slow it down didn’t crash or anything but he was scared out of his mind didn’t even bother teaching me what i did wrong or anything and just told me to get out and sit in the backseat
Tldr; convinced dad to let me try driving a car after 5 years of trying. Accelerated very fast accidentally and got thrown in the backseat for not doing it correctly the first time.
blackman3344: How is it possible you step on the accelerator and shift into drive? Shifter would be locked and you couldn’t do that…
Cheeseballll_: idk it just did. ? Maybe because the car was on battery ? Dad asked me to hold the break and shift to drive. But instead i held acceleration and shifted.
blackman3344: Or maybe you were in neutral gear?
Cheeseballll_: Okay maybe i didn’t tell it the right way. Yes i was in neutral then i pressed the accelerator and changed it to “D”
blackman3344: Ah. That explains it… at least you’ve now learnt how to accelerate in “launch mode”!
Cheeseballll_: HEYYYY I actually thought I pressed the break. I made the mistake of pressing the wrong pedal :(
| 7 | 4.571429 | |
1656547174 | 1656567963 | t3_vnu6lv | t5_2to41 | 2,576 | Spiritual-Mouse-5630: TIFU by making a swingers joke.
My husband and I, his work buddies and their spouses have started having monthly dinners on rotation at each other’s houses that usually end with lots of alcohol. About a month ago we were over for dinner and one of the wives shared some “gummies” with us. We were in the midst of planning a birthday camping trip because my husband and his buddy’s birthday were two days back to back. It was decided that it was going to be a responsibility free/ kid free trip so my high ass made the joke “just how adult is this trip going to be, like we swapping spouses here?” His buddy’s fiancé was raised in a preachers household so the look on her face was just soo priceless. We got back from our trip yesterday(was great had tons of fun). My husband and I were sitting outside and he tells me that apparently right before the trip his buddy and his fiancé had a spat about him texting me to coordinate who was bringing what. On the trip we went floating and I said “that’s a nice butt”, talking to my husband. She pulled him aside and asked if I was talking about one of the other floaters.
TL;DR Made an off color joke at a dinner, now our buddy’s girlfriend thinks we prescribe to the upside down pineapple.
TheHunterZolomon: What’s floating?
Spiritual-Mouse-5630: You take a big ass inflatable raft or inner tube and spend between 3-12 hours floating down a river. At the risk of sounding like a naive American, is that not a common thing outside of the US south?
TheHunterZolomon: Yeah we here on the coasts don’t really do that LOL I thought it was a swinger thing that you “float” around between partners, but reading comments clued me in that it wasn’t a swingers trip at all. Thanks for letting me know!
Spiritual-Mouse-5630: Oh lol. No it’s a really big thing during the summer here. It and deer season are about the only thing that keep the economy of the small towns alive here 😂
TheHunterZolomon: That’s actually interesting. Born in California and raised here, with trips to the Midwest, I’d never even heard of that. I knew it was a thing but I assumed it was called rafting, didn’t know it was called floating. Thanks for the cultural education!
Spiritual-Mouse-5630: You’re welcome! If you ever get the chance to try it you should! It’s a cheap way to have a lot of fun. And most of the companies that rent the rafts and kayaks and tubes have small couple hour floats to get a feel for it before you do the big ones.
TheHunterZolomon: Oh awesome! I’ll try it someday then, but as someone who burns in the sun very easily I’m kinda nervous lol regardless sounds like good fun especially when combined with a camping trip!
Spiritual-Mouse-5630: That is one of the biggest risks I won’t minimize that. I actually had skin cancer as a kid from not having sunscreen applied properly on a 15 hour river trip in the dead of summer. SPF 100 is our friend. My husband and kids are gingers too so we’re pretty cautious about sunscreen. And yes! Getting off the water at the end of the day and crashing next to a campfire listening to the bullfrogs. *chefs kiss*
TheHunterZolomon: Wait you got skin cancer as a kid? Oh I’m so fucked lol but yeah I’ll definitely remember that thanks!
Spiritual-Mouse-5630: Nah, faulty cancer prone genes from my family. I’ve never met another person who’s had it happen to them. A good hat and good sunscreen applied every couple of hours and you’re good as gold.
| 11 | 234.181818 | |
1656549007 | 1656549507 | t3_vnusoe | t5_2to41 | 12 | throway6786: TIFU by looking like i had something to say
[removed]
mr_shickadance_: He sounds like a piece of shit
jesusthroughmary: Great minds think alike, this was my immediate reaction as well, like wtf, you're a grown man and she's in middle school
mr_shickadance_: Exactly
| 4 | 3 | |
1656550449 | 1656787954 | t3_vnv9x4 | t5_2to41 | 75 | Prestigious-Big2974: TIFU by accidentally making chlorine gas
I was cleaning my bathroom and I was using bleach to clean my toilet and a bad odor started coming out
of my toilet. My eyes started to water and I felt like I was going to throw up which I did. And my nose started running bad. Then I didn't wanna look up
how to make chlorine gas because that's sketchy to look up IMO. So then I went to Reddit to see if anybody had a similar experience to me and I immediately found a post very similar to my
experience. I freaked out and I read the comments and they said to air out the house. I opened like 13 windows turned on every fan in the house. Then I
sat outside and it's been about an hour since. I then returned into the house and the airing out seemed to work. I think I'll be fine l'Il update it anything else
happens.
TL;DR- I accidentally made chlorine gas while cleaning and almost died.
Edit 1: I did not mix my piss with bleach I put a little bit of bleach in the toilet and then used a toilet wand but a wand that had like built in soap that’s water activated. That’s what I’m thinking caused the chemical reaction.
Edit 2: I did not make the more lethal chlorine gas I made the less Lethal chloramine gas which I was able to safely expel by airing it out. I’m fine and everything has been fine for the last 2.5 hours.
Ascalon_XXI: Ok, so when you mix bleach with anything ammonia, it dosen't make chlorine gas, it makes chloramine gas. Chloramine gas can be fatal in high concentrations, but its so irritating that people almost always move away in yime to not get seriously injured.
If you mix bleach with acetic acid, better known as vinegar, it will release chlorine gas, one breath full will burn the lining out of your lungs and you will drown in your own body fluids. If it gets into your eyes, it will burn them too. A pretty painful and terrible way to go.
Don't mix rubbing alcohol with bleach either. It makes industrial grade chloroform, which can be deadly if you pass out and cant get away from it.
Just dont mix bleach with anything. Glad you're alright though.
amazon626: WHY DO YOU KNOW THIS????
Ascalon_XXI: I was really good at chemistry. Theres lots of other house hold chemicals I know how to do cool, if not somewhat dangerous stuff with.
amazon626: Ok, fair, lol 🤣
| 5 | 15 | |
1656547779 | 1656641555 | t3_vnue6x | t5_2to41 | 351 | Crazy_Acanthaceae726: TIFU By Mistaking A Small Person For A Child At Work
I am a hostess at a famous restaurant chain. Today was a pretty stressful day right at the start. We were very busy and the customers were not being easy to handle, so I popped an edible while hiding in the back. I normally do not take drugs at work, but my anxiety was out of control. About 30 minutes later while I was at the very busy hostess stand and a group of three came in. I looked at them and said, "two adult menus and a child’s menu?" The "child" then replied, "well considering I'm 27, I'll take an adult menu." I was mortified. My mind was orbiting Saturn at that point, thanks to the strawberry gummy that I had devoured earlier. I quickly apologized and told her that I was ashamed for making such a careless mistake. As I walked them to the table she explained to me that I was totally ok and she actually thought it was pretty funny. The older female, I’m assuming was her mother, snickered at her comment. I was seating them the snickering woman says, "can she have her crayons now?" I, again, apologized and excused myself. I immediately beelined for the bathroom where I then cried until I laughed.
TL:DR: I am a restaurant hostess that had eaten a THC edible at work and thought a small person was a child.
Pure-Distribution858: Should have brought her crayons and don’t drug at work
Upstairs_Sale158: Can we just all agree that marijuana isnt a drug?
That is all.
eladmir: I mean, isn't it? I agree that it should be legal, but how is it not a drug?
Upstairs_Sale158: By definition, yes. Federally, yes.
Realistically though...? It grows out of the ground and has numerous medicinal benefits. It isnt altered by man in any way to achieve x medical benefit(s), it literally just grows that way from our beautiful mother earth. I just hate the word drug because it is commonly associated with a drug addict dead beat, or someone just lesser in general.
When(if) you take medication, do you say "time to take my drugs" or do you say "time to take my medicine/medication"?
Just food for thought is all....
But yes, legalize it federally. Fuck alcohol.
DisastrousWind7: I mean, medicine is literally drugs, so why shouldn't weed be?
| 6 | 58.5 | |
1656551480 | 1656611503 | t3_vnvmip | t5_2to41 | -6 | Ovian: TIFU by getting ripped off by the "I need gas"-trick at a freeway ramp
I was driving home and suddenly I saw this dude and a woman on the side next to a freeway ramp.
I drove passed them and I saw him behind me waving/ screaming something. I hit the breaks, thought it was an emergency and drove back, already had 911 dialed up
He started saying his wife is pregnant, has to drive another 200 miles, has no cash and his credit card etc. isn't working. I told him okay I help you, I can call the ambulance for help and he said its fine he only needs some money for gas cause his car is empty.
At that moment I knew something isn't right and his wife walked towards us in "pain".
After about 2 minutes I said screw it follow me and I'll pay 20$ so you can get atleast 100 miles if you don't drive fast.
They both went back to the car, I waited a minute and started driving when they were behind me. I pulled to the next gas station (1min away) and told the dude to fill the car for 20$.
Well I actually knew it was a scam, but the lady went out of her car and guess what fell out of her shirt? A friggin' pillow. The money was already paid, the gas in there car and they went full speed away. The friendly man at the gas station said they have it on cam. We called the police, watched the videos and now they are being searched for lol.
I got the 20$ from the friendly police officers back, but man I knew it was a scam and I feel so bad for falling for that trick.
TLDR:
A dude with his "pregnant" wife were on the side of a freeway ramp and needed gas, I told them I can call the ambulance if they need escort to hospital, they refused and wanted gas... I fell for that trick, told them to follow me to the next gas station and paid 20$ gas for them. The woman went out of her car and a pillow fell out of her shirt (wtf?) so she wasn't pregnant, she hopped in the car and they drove full speed away. The friendly man at the gas station said he has it on cam, we called the police and now they have all the information about them (license plate) and I got my 20$ back from the officers who came. I feel bad for falling for such a bad trick/ scam.
shinobi500: Some people just love calling the police for ANYTHING.
Randomidk32189: At least they were helpful this time.
shinobi500: How were they helpful? Do you know how big of a Karen you have to be for the cop to refund you a $20 out of their own pocket just to get you to shut up.
Randomidk32189: They were helpful because they were understanding. They had no need to give the 20, but they did. Of course, this does not excuse the actions of OP. And this does not mean that you have to be bribed to be considered helpful
| 5 | -1.2 | |
1656552616 | 1656553933 | t3_vnw0e8 | t5_2to41 | 58 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #21! Come share your stories and hang out. :)
alcoholic_aunt: hey, i hope everyone’s having a good day :) <3
Jerzayl: I'm trying. Exhausted in every sense of the word.
alcoholic_aunt: sorry to hear that. need to chat?
Jerzayl: No sweat. Life is hard. We all know it 🤕
alcoholic_aunt: unfortunately, that is the case. even tho idk you, i support you and hope you’re doing well, and that things get better :)
Jerzayl: Thank you
| 7 | 8.285714 | |
1656554078 | 1656566524 | t3_vnwhvz | t5_2to41 | 880 | shoestrung: TIFU by using a metal straw
I made my morning iced coffee and grabbed my re-useable metal straw from the cupboard, plunked it into my glass.
Took a sip and immediately felt something lumpy in my mouth. In my morning confusion I thought it was maybe a coffee bean even though I used a French press and bought pre-ground coffee??? Anyway, I caught the supposed bean between my teeth, and... simultaneously noticed it was squishier than a bean should be and felt it wriggle.
HUH???
I immediately spat it out onto the kitchen countertop in a panic and noticed that IT WAS AN EARWIG.
AN EARWIG HAD CLIMBED INTO MY METAL STRAW AND WAS CHILLING.
AND NOW IT WAS STRUGGLING ON MY COUNTERTOP IN A POOL OF COFFEE WITH ITS BODY SLIGHTLY BENT AT WHERE MY TEETH HAD HELD IT.
I watched it open its wings (I didn't even know earwigs had wings until today) and I immediately started crying while smacking it with a tissue box.
TL;DR: I now blow very hard into my re-useable straws before using them. Always. Don't risk it.
stratjr123: wait wait wait, y'all don't wash things that go in your food or drinks before y'all use them????
Do y'all not wash or rinse off your cups or plates before y'all use them????????????????????
GuardMarmot: No. Why would I do that? I washed them when I was done with them last time.
stratjr123: because dust settles and insects walk, you think that shit just stays clean if you leave it there?
GuardMarmot: Clean enough, yeah, unless it sits for months. Nothing wrong with an unnoticeable amount of dust (a few days' worth).
stratjr123: and how many insects have walked all over that in the few days?
that is disgusting
GuardMarmot: And those insects walking are going to have what effect on my health, the taste of my food, or any other relevant metric?
stratjr123: they can expose you to bacteria and certain diseases that you really shouldn't be exposed to and can adversely affect your health, you have any idea how many diseases cockroaches carry around?? hell the cockroaches come into your house through the pipes from the sewage system
not to mention what can happen if you have rats that you don't know about
GuardMarmot: So... from the many people who don't rinse before using (I've never met someone who does), there should be an epidemic of such diseases. Which I certainly haven't heard about. Exposure doesn't necessarily mean exposure in sufficient level to he harmful.
(I've also never seen a cockroach in a house, so it might be a regional thing.)
stratjr123: bro do you have any idea how many diseases are active around??? just because you haven't seen or heard of it doesn't mean it's not true
ALSO cockroaches are everywhere, just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there,
GuardMarmot: If it were harmful, one would tend to notice. For everyone I know (exactly none of whom rinse before use), a stomach bug is a couple of times in a decade maybe.
stratjr123: again there are tons of people contracting diseases daily, limiting it to your little bubble doesn't make any exception, insects and rats have been spreading diseases to humans for a very long time and continue to do it, mainly relating to food, it only makes sense to clean something that you are going to use to consume food
GuardMarmot: > again there are tons of people contracting diseases daily
Care to point to an example of a food-borne illness that's routinely contracted and likely associated with minor contaminants on plates? (As opposed to e.g. contamination of the water supply or bacteria that's on the food already.)
> insects and rats have been spreading diseases to humans for a very long time and continue to do it,
Yup. Not generally by tracking dust on a plate. Quantity of exposure matters.
> mainly relating to food,
Your classic insect/rat-borne diseases (malaria, various mosquito-borne viruses, various flea-borne infections) are not food related.
> it only makes sense to clean something that you are going to use to consume food
So you assert. Unless you're going to provide concrete evidence, it's simply your experience against mine.
stratjr123: the diseases that they spread are spread via bacteria, quantity of contaminants matter, however frequency of exposure also matters, and since you don't wash your stuff before using it, you are repeatedly exposing yourself to the bacteria, hence increasing your chance of getting sick. why would you wanna take that risk when you can simply lower the risk by rinsing or washing.
GuardMarmot: > why would you wanna take that risk when you can simply lower the risk by rinsing or washing.
Because I have no reason to believe the risk is not effectively zero.
stratjr123: Dude you are literally commenting on a post where a dude found an earwig in a straw
You don't think it's possible for a roach to crawl through sewage pipes and end up all over your plates?
You would be effectively be consuming another person's sewage and if the doesn't tell you that you clean first, then i don't know if anything will
GuardMarmot: I didn't deny that it was possible. What is much more likely is that the amount of sewage on a roach's feet after making its way to the kitchen - and the fraction of bacteria that would survive a day or two in open air - is negligible.
stratjr123: A lot of bacteria can survive in open air bro
The only bacteria that probably wouldn't survive are the bacteria that need human to human contact
| 18 | 48.888889 | |
1656555211 | 1656555767 | t3_vnwvo7 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Zoophile_666: TIFU by climbing into the tiger's cage at the zoo
[removed]
TiltedWombat: Things like this are why i think roe v wade is important. This could have been prevented
Interesting-Month-56: Lol even the SBC agrees with you on this one
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1656556673 | 1656559865 | t3_vnxdbc | t5_2to41 | 3 | Strong_Baseball_8984: TIFU by using expired lotion on my dick
Obligatory this was within the last 2 weeks. I’m bored with a new ipad and I (31M) decide to rub a few out. Well by the third session I feel like I’m getting a bit chaffed but this iPad screen shows a lot of detail. This is my fuck up, instead of stopping I decide to use my hand lotion that I’ve had for years. I normally don’t use lotion because I’m uncircumcised and my extra skin (wizard sleeve) does a good job on its own.
A day goes by and dick starts to itch. Another day and it’s itchier and now my foreskin is swelling. So I show my girlfriend and she laughs and tells me to go to the doctor. My foreskin is so swollen and filled with fluid it’s just hanging beyond my mushroom head like a baggy pair of jeans. Doctor says it’s balantitis/skin infection so I get some antibiotics and wait a few days for the swelling to go down.
Now my dick is good as new; except after 2 days of normal dick I get hives on my hands and feet. I see a different doctor and they believe it is an allergic or autoimmune response. So multiple days of swollen foreskin followed by multiple days of hives on hands on feet. No I didn’t jerk off with lotion on my feet or apply lotion to my feet. I’m basically all good now with prednisone and antihistamines and seeing a specialist soon.
TLDR: jerked off with expired lotion. My foreskin (uncircumcised) swelled up and itched for days. First doc thought it was a skin infection from masturbating too much. Saw a 2nd doctor after my initial symptoms went away but hives broke out on my hands and feet indicating a secondary allergic response/or auto immune shit. Throw out your old lotions.
Des123_: Sounds like you may be allergic to some of the medicine that they gave you would be my answer but I am no doctor
Hiroshroomaa: no? it’s clearly the lotion
Des123_: Maybe never heard of it spreading somewhere else but I'm not a doctor all I can do is wish you best of luck
Hiroshroomaa: why are you wishing ME the best of luck? lol
Strong_Baseball_8984: Beat of luck
| 6 | 0.5 | |
1656558717 | 1656560045 | t3_vny1mb | t5_2to41 | 0 | AntaresTheAce: TIFU by coming between an old lady and her dog
I do home care for the elderly. Today, I had a shift with a client who had me bring her (and her one grandson, which is a whole 'nother story) to the mall to look at the puppies. She ended up playing with a Jack Russell terrier puppy and wanted to buy it. I told the salespeople (in private) that I had concerns about her ability to care for the dog, so they couldn't sell it to her today. Instead, they asked for references and said they'd try to hold the puppy for a bit. They also mentioned that I was the one to bring up the concerns. (I'd asked them to reference some ambiguous 'policy' in order to get more info.) Naturally, my client was very upset and never wants to see me again, which is completely fair and valid.
I think I did the right thing in slowing down her acquisition of the puppy. My ex-client's references will know better than I do whether she can handle an untrained Jack Russell puppy, which I don't think she can due to several physical, mental, environmental, and family-treatment reasons. Hopefully I'm wrong and she can safely get and care for this puppy. I should definitely have called my office before saying anything, though, and I don't look forward to explaining what happened to HR when the office opens again tomorrow morning. I just feel like shit because of how upset this client was and could really use some reassurance that I did the right thing.
TL;DR: Expressed concerns to salesperson that an elderly client couldn't take care of an untrained Jack Russell puppy, salesperson told client, client furious.
Creinium13: Ahh. A classic case of mind your own fucking business, Karen.
Hope you get fired. Might teach you to hold your tongue.
-gzus-kryst-: Nah, not when it comes to a dog, that's a life. You sound like the karen.
Creinium13: Ok. This one doesn’t know what a Karen is…
Clearly I’m an asshole. Get it right.
Op even said they had no idea if the lady was or wasn’t capable of caring for a dog at which point they offered their opinion and got bit in the ass for it.
Makes me happy when stupid people do stupid things.
-gzus-kryst-: I'm glad you're able to make yourself happy
| 5 | 0 | |
1656556277 | 1656561858 | t3_vnx8kv | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by hitting myself with my own car
Obligatory notifications: Didn’t actually happen today, and yeah. You read the title correctly. tl;dr at the end, for those of us who prefer a quicker read.
Also I apologize in advance for the length of this. I work with a visual medium and while I’m well-spoken, I tend to try and paint word pictures. This is no different, and ultimately I’m hoping to provide enough background info so you can imagine exactly what this looked like.
In 2016 I owned two older Jeeps. A 1988 Cherokee and a 1991 Cherokee (might have been a grand cherokee, I really don’t remember, but I am strongly leaning towards Cherokee)
The 91 was a work in project, I paid $150 for it and it had a problem with the brakes. There was a whole recall issue with the ABS system, I think? I ended up getting rid of it later without repairing the damage due to laziness, and I managed to make a profit off of it. Since I never fixed it, the only things I put into it were the bits of me it claimed when it tried to Christine me.
In any case, that was the only issue with the 91. At the time (late June in the PNW) it was parked in my garage, and my 88 was parked in the driveway as the daily driver. My driveway and garage were kind of a nightmare. The house itself was built more than 100 years prior, so the garage wasn’t one of the nicer ones you see in modern homes (either attached or at the very least a concrete floor with space to use the garage as an actual garage).
Rather, my garage was a comfortable 20 feet or so from my door, leaked a bit around the edges when it rained, and if the floor had been concrete at one point, it was just broken uneven fragments. You could park a car in it with no issue, flat enough for a table but uncomfortable to be laying on or sitting on. The garage itself was quite small. With the 91 inside you had roughly 3 feet of clearance in front and back before you hit the wall/door and a foot or so on either side before you hit wall. As a result I did very little mechanical work in the garage and instead kept a folding table in the garage with some chairs. I spent more time watching the sunset or watching movies on my laptop while having a cigar in it. I lived in a rural area and my garage door faced west, I had a spectacular view of the valley around me.
My driveway was shaped like an upper-case L, and about 200 feet long, and was bordered by a rock wall for about 190 of it. At the end, the short part of the L nearing the street, it turned right (away from the rock wall). The short part of the L was wide enough to fit 2 cars side by side, but the long part of the L up by the garage could only fit cars single file. With the 91 parked in the garage, when I came home I usually pulled off the street into the short part of the L of my driveway and then I would back the remainder of the length of the driveway, pulling up near the garage. I found it easier to leave if I just pulled straight out rather than backing out.
The event itself!:
On this night, I was making dinner for a gal I knew, and dinner went well. It was a nice evening, I think the sun was only just beginning to go down, and L said she would not be opposed to scotch and a cigar, so we decided to grab my laptop and see what stand-up we could agree on while having our nightcap. I moved the 88 from its spot in front of my garage so I’d have room to get the 91 out of the garage.
The battery in the 91 had gone flat. Easy enough, but I didn’t want to move the 88 back and jump it. I deiced instead to just pop it into neutral and push it out (I’m going to admit, I was trying to impress L). The thing is, I’d never noticed it before but there was an ever-so-slight crest at the entrance to my garage. So small I never even noticed it when driving a vehicle into the garage under its own power Not so small though that I didn’t register the extra effort required to get the jeep over it when I was pushing it.
As soon as the front tires cleared it, I could feel it escaping my grasp. Or trying to. It wasn’t moving especially fast, but because the rock wall wasn’t perfectly straight, and the propensity for old vehicles with poor alignment to wander, I realized I was about to hit the rock wall. In addition to not wanting to damage my $150 jeep I also didn’t want to destroy my driveway.
I did the little hop and managed to land my foot close enough to the base of the brake pedal to start applying pressure. My right arm was on the steering wheel so I used that to try to pull my weight onto the brake. It did not work (remember, brake system issue/recall?), and I realized quite suddenly that the half of me hanging out the jeep was at risk of being crushed between the jeep and the rock wall.
As I pushed the door away from me to try to get out, the door hit the rock wall and bounced back onto me, causing me to stumble trying to extricate myself. I stumbled and trying to regain my footing, the back corner (driver side tail light, for point of reference, toward the wheels where the back bumper is) of the jeep clipped me as it passed by while I was trying to regain my balance. Finally ended up on my back in the dirt, and I realized I had just hit been by my own car *while it casually rolled away* at a staggering mile and a half an hour.
Ultimately I wasn’t seriously injured. I had a good amount of scratches and bruising from the rock/jeep combo but my dignity was DOA.
tl;dr overestimated my ability to control a vehicle without power, hit myself with the car with no power at the slowest possible speed.
LEGENDDAKID4225: 150 dollars for a car?! That’s a steal
[deleted]: Indeed. The fella I bought it from found out about the brake issue and the recall and didn’t want to deal with it so he put it up for sale. He was asking for whatever the local scrapyard would give him for it so I called them, found out, and offered him that.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1656562772 | 1656570333 | t3_vnzblr | t5_2to41 | 6 | bfjungkooks: TIFU by forgetting the ounces to pounds conversion
TIFU when, at my work, I had to package frozen fruits. It was supposed to be 1 pound of raspberries for $8 and 1 and a half pounds of strawberries for $8 (though I wasn’t specifically told that strawberries were supposed to be 1 and a half pounds, so I assumed it was just 1 pound like the raspberries). I forgot the ounces to pounds conversion so I just did 12 ounces of each, thinking that was the correct conversion. Customers bought these packages of fruit and looked at me weird when I rang them up, but never said anything. I only found out my mistake when I talked to a coworker and said, “Oh, so a pound and a half- 18 ounces,” and she looked at me funny and corrected me. So not only do I feel like an idiot, I also ripped people off.
TL;DR : I forgot the ounces to pounds conversion at work so I ripped people off on their fruit priced without realizing it.
Akajii: Honestly, the Imperial System is scuffed anyway.
If nobody called you out, it's because they probably had a solid Mandela moment and allowed themselves to believe 12 oz was a pound. It's just as much their fault as it is yours and they deserve the 25% tax rate.
What you do from here is go back into your transactions, figure out how many ounces of Strawberries/Raspberries you have extra, and have a feast to balance the books.
Also, for future reference, it takes about five seconds to Google the xLb = xOz conversion :)
TyphoidMary234: Don’t you mean the imperial system is scuffed? Metric would be grams to kilos
Akajii: Shows you what I know, right?
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1656564647 | 1656572749 | t3_vnzvb3 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: Tifu by using zoom
[removed]
geefunken: Whoever you are, please find some help. To keep posting variations of this same story is getting really dull. It’s not even a good story!
sinevigiliamentis: Always older male who supposedly doesn't quite understand technology, always K-pop girl dancing, never quite nsfw but still suggestive... Isn't it amazing how similar these stories are? I mean, what are the odds?
geefunken: ‘What are the odds?’
With Reddit, pretty high! 😉
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1656552810 | 1656574343 | t3_vnw2r6 | t5_2to41 | 43 | Wulfgang97: TIFU by showing up to the wrong bonfire
This short TIFU happened during my senior year of highschool.
My friends were having a bonfire in town near the highschool, which is pretty dense with houses. I got the address, cool. It’s on the corner of two streets. Should be easy enough to find.
I get to the address, and only see one fire. That has to be the place, right? So I walk up to the fire, a little confused because I only see adults around. Maybe they’re my friends parents, and my friends are inside, I think to myself.
The adults are looking at me like I have three heads, and I’m standing there with a shit eating grin on my face. Nobody is saying a word, so I ask, “this is Nicole’s house where the fire is, right?” They all laugh and point across the street to another fire that I didn’t see before because it was obscured by houses from where I parked. They ask me if that’s the one I meant to go to and I laugh with them. All of my friends across the street are dying laughing at me because they can see me there.
I ask the adults if I can chill with them for a minute and explain that my friends are going to roast the fuck out of me after I go to the real fire. They oblige and give me a beer, I drank that with them and they send me on my way to my actual destination with another beer in hand
Tl:dr- went to the wrong bonfire on a corner street. The adults were cool and I found my real destination afterwards
mjkjg2: There should be a tifu sub for fuck ups that actually end on a positive note like this one
OPengiun: r/TIPFU
today I positively fucked up?
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1656565256 | 1656567601 | t3_vo01yx | t5_2to41 | 10 | BoJo4334: TIFU by hitting the wrong emoji
This actually happened today.
So my husband and I are friends with another couple. The girlfriend has some serious issues. She has dropped several bombs about HIS sex life on me at random times, stuff that I should only know if he told me, like his fetishes, what he's done before getting with her etc. Now, I'm a total Tomboy, and am used to participating in "guy talk" , so when he and I were on a long ride together back in February and he was complaining about how he'd asked his girlfriend for road head (I actually had to ask what that was), and she'd told him she was willing, but despite several opportunities, she hadn't. I didn't think much about it, other than giving him relationship advice. (Before anyone jumps to conclusions he wasn't bringing it up to ask me to do it, and even if he had it wouldn't do him any good. Thanks to my bio dad I was fighting anxiety just having the conversation, once I found out what it was) I mentioned our conversation to my husband later, and he had no problems with it. Well, the couple recently went on another long road trip, so after they got back I texted him asking if he had finally gotten it. He hadn't. She snooped into our conversation, texted me as if it was him talking, but it was abrasive in a way he wouldn't be, and then blocked me on his phone. She continued normal conversations with me on her phone, never stating any problems. The next day he unblocked me while he was at work, and told me what had happened. I laughed, and told my husband about it. This unfortunately created a situation where despite having a normal, mundane, conversation; he had to delete everything we said to each other while he was working. I also agreed to delete my side, just in case she came over and got a chance to look at my phone. Well, today I went to end our conversation with a regular looking smiling emoji, but I was also rushing down my path to meet my neighbor who had just called and asked me to meet them at the gate, so I accidentally hit the one below it, and hit send immediately. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and only realized after returning home that I had actually sent the emoji that's blowing a kiss. I figured I'd explain it to him next time we talked, and didn't bother sending an oops text. So, my husband and I were watching shows when the girlfriend called me. I answered, and got immediately screamed at, her asking why I sent him the kissing face. I tried to explain, but she basically said that the deleted texts plus that emoji equalled something going on, and continued screaming at me. I hung up, and got to promptly explain to my husband what her issue was. He laughed. She sent a half apology, ending with she understands if I don't want to talk to either of them again. I kinda snapped at that point and told her off in several texts, which she hasn't responded to. At this point I'm fairly certain I'm blocked on both their phones, and Lord only knows what she's putting him through. He will be lucky if he's allowed to bring his own phone to work with him after this. He probably would be in big trouble even without the emoji, but I still feel guilty for possibly making it worse with my stupid mistake.
TL;DR My female friend blocked me on her boyfriend/ my male friend's phone because she didn't like our "guy talk", creating a need to delete situation. I ended today's conversation with the kiss blowing emoji instead of the smiling one above it that I meant to send, and now he'll be lucky to be allowed to bring his own phone to work.
My_Cat_Louie: Yeah. To hell with her drama. But for the sake of everyone involved, I would only text with the male friend in a group chat with your husband in it. I say this because I (female) have a friend (male) with whom it is very clear that neither of us is inclined toward the other, but to keep everything clear and to prevent stupid ass drama, he and I have a group chat with his girlfriend in it. He is an aquatics need, so she gets to be subjected alllll of our fish talk. But it keeps things drama free. Cheers my fellow tomboy-lady!
BoJo4334: Unfortunately my husband's phone is broken at the moment, so that isn't an option. I did point out to her when I went off that my husband was aware of our conversation the whole time, because I don't have to hide things from him.
I honestly don't care if I never talk to her again, but I'm worried about him. She's a narcissist, and has pushed all his other friends away. I helped him with forming an escape plan, but it will be a few weeks before it's available, and now I don't know how I'll let him know when it is. (Those plans were made talking on the phone, to be certain I wasn't sending it where she might see it)
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1656568324 | 1656575160 | t3_vo0xie | t5_2to41 | 9 | Accomplished_Art8625: Tifu by almost dying
So this happened a few days ago. Bit of back story, I have been diagnosed with epilepsy a few years ago but had seizure from birth till age of 3, nothing for many years till I was 19 and had one while at the optometrists. After many months of testing I was diagnosed with epilepsy and started medication.
At first everything was okay, I still felt normal and Like nothing had changed. Over the next few years, my memory got worse, I gained a big stutter and learning became harder for me.
Fast forward to Monday 27th June 2022, I was talking to my housemate and her bf about MCU, after a few minutes I went to go back to my room. Everything started to go black and from what they tell me, I just dropped. When I woke up I was on the floor and my housemate was sitting in front of me with her hand under my head. Turns out I had a drop seizure and hit my head, with caused it to bleed quite a bit. I panicked a bit but had to try be calm otherwise I risked another seizure, they told me the ambulance was on the way bur after an hour I was still on the floor starting to get pains because of my positioning. Turns out they diverted the ambulance to "a more life threatening emergency". So we ran through those usual tests that paramedics do to make sure you're okay to move. We drove in to our nearest hospital where I sat for over an hour in emergency surrounded by many people , with my anxiety on high(suffer from agoraphobia) when I'd finally got through, they did all their tests and i was left there for a while alone in a room. Which was great because I was alone in this new room.
When tests came back, Turns out I had missed many doses of medication, I'd believed I'd been taking it this whole time. My memory had gotten so bad I didn't know i wasn't taking it... now I have everyone in my life babying me to make sure I take my meds, also may end up with a cool scar on my head
TLDR: diagnosed with epilepsy, memory is shit and I forgot I hadn't been taking my meds, almost died by a seizure and felt like an idiot when drs told me what caused it
Medicalhuman: It’s not you fault you forgot. You can’t choose to not forget it. Maybe set a reminder on you phone every day?
Accomplished_Art8625: I did have alarms set twice a day for them and I'd always reach them but somehow within those seconds, my brain has registered I took them. Now I have my gf watch me when she's visiting to make sure I am.
Medicalhuman: My friend has an app that helps her get out of bed and the alarm won’t stop until she goes to the other side of the room and scans the barcode of the book. Could you find something like that and like put the barcode paper in the pill container with the pills
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1656568977 | 1656582027 | t3_vo142q | t5_2to41 | 73 | basicallya_clown: TIFU buy falsely getting my mom served
I didn't know how articulate the title well but um- basically me and my little brother are home alone as my mother is at her bfs house and there's a knock at the door- we live in an apartment building so thers several othere peoples front door in the same building- and he said something like "does Steven live here?" And my mothers last name is Steven's so my brain just goes oh ok he's pronouncing my mother's last name wrong and I am like "yeah she lives her but she not home rn" and he handed me this big packet of paper and tells me to give it to her when she gets home and like the FOOL I am I didn't look at it and was like yep will do :) and then he leaves and I look at the paper and I'm like ?? Oh this is a lawsuit and then I see it's actually some guy who's first name is actually Steven and not my mom's last name but mispronounced and now idk what to do so rip I have some guys lawsuit papers now my mom told me to throw them when I called her but idk if that's ok?? Idk man that's how it be sometimes I guess
Tl:Dr. I did not correct some guy on my mothers name and now I have some guys lawsuit papers and idk what to do :)
petaflopbopper: You don't need to do anything, not your problem. But I expect that guy is going to have a hard time explaining to the judge why he served papers to some random kid instead of the actual defendant.
onisshi1807: your honor, the kid said Steven lived there. No I didn't ask for the kids name. What's that? No I didn't specify which Steven... Wtf is a "last name"?
spook7886: All of this, plus didn't the server violate Steven's privacy rights?
Redhook420: Court papers are public record.
| 5 | 14.6 | |
1656568773 | 1656583238 | t3_vo11tw | t5_2to41 | 169 | blargney: TIFU by breaking a kid's leg
Earlier today: I'm at the playground with my kid, and he hops on a merry-go-round with another kid he just met. They zip around, having plenty of giggles. When they stop, my little guy asks me to get on so they can spin me. So I get on and they do their thing, eventually jumping aboard once they're up to speed.
At this point, the other boy says to me, "Let's go faster!" and my boy agrees. So I, brain-dead enthusiast that I am, do what they asked without a second thought. I stick a leg out and start pushing the ground like I'm on a skateboard and we get going real fast. I lay down across the middle to enjoy the rest of the ride we've made, facing my son and back to the other kid.
Next thing I know, I hear the distinctive sound of a child in pain from another part of the playground. My kid is safe right in front of me, so I'm feeling like an okay parent. I try to focus on the blurring playground enough to figure out what's going on and realize it's the kid that was just behind me on the merry-go-round. He's facedown on the rubbery floor bawling his eyes out. I eventually bring the ride to a stop, and dizzily stagger over to find out what's just happened.
By this point he's still crying hard while clutching his knee. His dad is with him trying to calm him down and get a look at the leg. I apologize to the boy and his dad, who said thanks for saying sorry, but don't worry about it. They seem to have it under control when they wander away, so I go back to playing with my kid.
A little while later they come back to find me. The boy tells me that he's okay now. The dad says his kneecap was out of position but they got it sorted out. My eyes must have bugged right out at that, because they quickly reassure me that he was actually okay. I get down to the boy's eye-height and say sorry again. The dad insists it wasn't my fault because he'd asked me to go faster. The boy grins at that, so I ask him if he at least had fun before things went bad, and he says yeah. We leave it at that and part ways.
TL;DR accidentally yeeted a child off a merry-go-round, whereupon he pancaked, bounced away several feet, and dislocated his kneecap. His dad undislocated it and they walked away okay.
cmori3: Yeah that kid needs to go to the fucking hospital, stat.
WadeStockdale: As someone who dislocated his kneecaps from time to time and subluxates them multiple times a day- eh not really? Like, seeing a doctor is a good idea yes, and icing it, but a hospital won't be able to do much tbh.
The kneecap actually floats in place most of the time, so it's actually probably the least problematic part to dislocate (and easiest to relocate). Generally you can reset it just by extending your leg, because the ligaments pull it back into it's groove. Unless you basically rip the surrounding structures, in which case you're not walking on it and it probably isn't going back into place.
Feels very weird to relocate, and it'll usually swell up, but without an actual break, kid doesn't need the ER, just his usual doc.
cmori3: I didn't realize that, thanks. Now if I ever dislocate my kneecap I'll know not to worry about it.
| 4 | 42.25 | |
1656571908 | 1656579186 | t3_vo1vrz | t5_2to41 | 46 | windowrain: TIFU by forgetting to remove some questionable links from the chat window of a blocked contact.
No, this was not an ex and they suddenly did not unblock me. Please allow me to expand.
Like many people I too habitually use the chat window of a contact who blocked me to make note of grocery lists, notes and such in a hurry when I get too lazy to open my note taking app. I occasionally post some questionable links in there too for "quick bed time reference" if you catch my drift. I delete them once the deed is done.
[On a side note, this method is ridiculously easy, and it is pinned on top too. I've renamed the contact too to "Notes". Only now while posting did I even remember that it was a contact. But I do not recommend or endorse it unless you are 100% sure they will never unblock you]
Today I was at a work party. I was exhausted after a long day, and was already down a few drinks. My HVAC guy called for an update and wanted me to write down his alternate number and what do I do? Ask him to hold on and open the chat window to note it. All while my coworker was sitting right next to me.
I have a huge phone screen, with big letters to support my poor eyesight. And there it was tt gts f*ed by %#&$. In all its glory. I was so focused on noting the number that all of this completely skipped my mind.
I'm not a 100% sure if my coworker saw any or all of it, but it felt like the atmosphere was a bit tense after that. There's no way to know and it is killing me.
TL;DR: Posted questionable adult links on a chat window of a blocked contact (which I use as a note taking page) in huge font, forgot to remove and a coworker saw it at a work party as I tried to note down a phone number while drunk.
InsaneInTheDrain: Why would you not just text yourself??
windowrain: That's not possible on WhatsApp 👀
Grammar-Notsee_: You put your own number in your phone and you can. You're one of your contacts.
Also I'm guessing you have a smartphone? Does it not have a notes app?
LegendOmegaX: Saving your own number doesn't always work anymore. An easier method is to type wa.me/ followed by your number with the country code. Directly leads you to your own chat.
| 5 | 9.2 | |
1656575696 | 1656616147 | t3_vo2ua4 | t5_2to41 | 17,359 | Keithanater: TIFU: by trusting a friend to borrow a computer
So, this might be a bit long winded and I may have some of the formatting stuff a bit wrong as it's my first post (I'm open to suggestions to make it clearer and stuff just lemme know) also on my main account because I don't really care if he sees it, and frankly hope he at least feels a bit guilty. Essentially the fuck up started a few days ago when my "friend" asked if he could try out a laptop that I had for sale. Went kinda like this:
'Friend': "Hey OP, is that laptop you have listed for sale still available?"
OP: "Hey! Yeah it, is"
'Friend': "Awesome, do you also have any graphics cards available?"
OP: "Yeah, I've got one you could check out!"
'Friend': "Mind if I borrow it till I get paid"
*The fuck up*
OP: "Yeah I trust you, come pick it up later today"
Now, I've known this guy for years and honestly thought he was a good friend, chatted lots, talked about personal life struggles etc. I also met his whole family, and turns out I used to play hockey with his sister growing up. Figured it was pretty safe.
*A few days later*
OP: "Hey 'friend' how are you liking the laptop?"
'Friend': "Hey OP, it's working really well, I think I'd like to buy it when I get paid next"
OP: "That's awesome, no rush as I know finances can be tough, just let me know"
'Friend': "How about I send you $600 on the 22nd, and then the rest in July"
OP: "Works for me!"
Then on the morning of the 22nd, the day he was either going to pay me or return the computer. I wake up to find that "friend" has blocked me on all platforms, and has blocked my phone number, and further his parents that he lives with have also blocked me on all platforms.
So yep, serves me for trusting people.
*EDIT/ UPDATE*
So I just woke up, and this blew up quite a bit more than I was expecting. Which I really appreciate, there's a lot of helpful advice in here, so for those that are wondering.
-Yes I have reported him to the police. Police initially said that this can only be settled in a civil court case due to the fact that the "friend" lied about paying me.
-I have also reported him to my circle of friends that also buy/sell/ repair computers.
-I am planning on presenting all 62 screenshots to the police later today highlighting his bragging of how easy it was for him to scam me, and how he is untouchable.
And, I'll make sure to edit more along the way... keep the advice coming I really appreciate any solution you guys come up with, I was pretty much ready to throw in the towel when I posted this, but am feeling much more ready to take this on now.
*Small Update*
Went into the police station yesterday to try and speak to the same officer, was told that he was on night shift and to call when he gets there, did that left a message with the receptionist and have not heard back, 13 hours later...
TL:DR A close friend scammed me for an expensive laptop, and some other things because I thought I could trust him. He and his whole family have blocked me now.
Septimore: Well. You know where he lives...
Keithanater: Yep, but he refuses to meet with me. Last time I tried to initiate contact he threatened me, and I'd prefer to avoid being attacked.
Daftpunksluggage: So report it as stolen.
Let them know they've left you no choice... you have text records saying he'll pay
Keithanater: I did, police called him, he lied to the police and said he paid. I told the officer that I have proof he did not pay, has no intention to pay, and very blatantly just committed obstruction. The officer informed me that the only way for it to go anywhere is in small claims...
ItsJustMeBeinCurious: Small claims is likely the only way to get any result. It’s a dispute over a commercial transaction, I.e., there wasn’t a robbery just a failure to pay. In small claims you can represent yourself and avoid most legal fees (likely there will be a court fee but you can add that to the amount owed you).
Keithanater: Yeah, that's the option the officer presented me with, I'm gonna stop by the station tomorrow and just ask for more info as admittedly it's out of my depth
TheDOC816: Cop here, that's clearly a case of theft by fraud. The cops could still move forward with a criminal case. You should ask to speak to a supervisor. Are you in the USA?
Keithanater: In Canada, so maybe it would operate similar? I don't think it would hurt for them to see my evidence
RollDamnTide16: Did the police take a report? If not, you should definitely go make one and ask for a copy. Even if they can’t help you, it will be helpful for a court case.
You could also check your renters/homeowners insurance policy if you have one. They normally cover theft of personal items. Often it specifies theft associated with a break-in, but it can’t hurt to look.
HarperDog1980: I wouldn’t file an insurance claim for it. It’s not a large amount of money so it could be less than the deductible. Then OP would have a zero payout claim and it could affect their premiums or count even worse against them if they have to file another claim in the next five years. Then it would count against them in frequency of claims and affect their premiums and insurability even further.
Knightmare4469: A zero dollar claim does not make your rates go up. Or if it does, you need a better insurance company.
Source: 8 years in insurance. Zero dollar claims do not impact our insured's rates
HarperDog1980: A claim for theft can absolutely affect your premiums and contributes to claims frequency. It varies by carrier. I would never recommend filing a claim with a zero dollar or low payout to my customers or anyone else. It’s not worth having on your claims history because you don’t know what you may have to file a claim for in the future.
Source: 21 years in insurance
RollDamnTide16: Helpful info, thanks for sharing.
| 14 | 1,239.928571 | |
1656575171 | 1657162567 | t3_vo2prd | t5_2to41 | 594 | Ambitious-Advisor331: TIFU by asking my English friend what she was doing for the 4th
Sometimes I feel like such a dum-dum when I talk to her. We met online about a year ago and sometimes I forget that she lives across the pond. I'm grateful that she hasn't cut me off because of my small world view. She is my first friend that was born, raised and lives in a different country.
Anyway, as we were conversing I asked her what her plans were for the 4th of July. She said was going to work and that she wasn't doing anything special. My melon head was like what you're going to work?! I hope you get double pay for the holiday. She then said, "girl, the 4th is American independence" I did the biggest FACEPALM. I then apologized profusely for my ignorance.
We laughed about it.
But for real, at my ripe age I should know this.
Unfortunately, this would not be the only time I’ve said some ignorant things lol. Thankfully she is very graceful when she corrects me.
TL;DR
I asked my English friend what she was going for the 4th of July. Although we laughed about it, I felt stupid when she corrected me.
MrSpaceCool: Lol asking a Brit if they celebrate American Independence Day 😂👍
Serotu: I believe it's die you treasonous rebellion scum day across the pond lol
rubber22132: No we just call it traitors day 🤣
lpbale0: You're just pissed we had to tell you twice, and then we had to save your butts so you didn't end up having to speak German.
caoboi01: The Soviets saved their butts mate
Efficient_Macaroon27: Forgive me for ignorance, particularly since I know something about the war. My father served during it. I know the Russians came and liberated the concentration camps, but we were also deployed in Europe. Definitely in England. Definitely in Germany. So how is it that the Russians saved them?
lpbale0: Arguably if Hitler had not started a no-holds-barred, winner-take-all, sudden-death, no-overtime, high-stakes pissing match with the Russians, then all of Britannia would be speaking German and be blond now.
Efficient_Macaroon27: I often wonder why the US stayed out of the conflict for such a long time. It seems we were willing to let England starve and suffer too many casualties, including civilians.
lpbale0: While we might have stayed out of direct conflict, we were not simply standing idly by. We provided billions in aid, munitions, raw goods, services, shipping, chemicals, et cetera. All of which were instrumental to the overall success.
| 10 | 59.4 | |
1656575747 | 1656625611 | t3_vo2urc | t5_2to41 | 12 | PlatypusDream: TIFU by thinking THC-O worked on pain but didn't have mental effects
A co-worker suggested I try THC-O (that's an "oh", not a zero) to help me control pain. I bought some products between jobs tonight (well, really the same job/employer, but different work sites) and had half a gummy then a "puff" of the vape.
This is the first I've tried anything like this (except for a few drops of CBD oil, which didn't do **anything** for me! that's an expensive disappointment).
The floating, time-dilation, exceedingly relaxed sensation took 5 hours to wear off. I would have appreciated it more if I weren't working. (And if I expected the mental effects! Knowing what's happening is a comfort.)
Still looking for pain relief, but this is an interesting experience and might help me sleep so not a total loss.
The vape made me cough for several minutes, plus it tastes bad. It's supposed to be a fruit flavor, and I guess it does have that, but the aftertaste is unpleasant and for many times the length of time the flavor is sensed.
.
TL;DR hoping for pain relief, instead I got high while I was at work (subtitled: research is your friend)
freethespeech: Can't help with thc but if you only took a couple drops of the cbd 1 time that's not how cbd works. You need to take cbd every day as a supplement. For pain you should take about 40 milligrams a day. Should start to work in 3 to 5 days.
Alberta_Flyfisher: This is correct. A higher dose can help in the short term but it's much better as a daily supplement for sure. Like am SSRI, it simply works better when you let it build up over time.
| 3 | 4 | |
1656575975 | 1656586989 | t3_vo2wog | t5_2to41 | 16 | FriendlyTreat8684: TIFU by telling my cousin I love her
Edit: we’re 2nd cousins
This is a long story so I can’t explain all the details, but I’ve lived in the same neighborhood for my cousin for like 5 years, and I was very close to her. For the past 2 years me and her have rode my golf cart around the neighborhood basically every day for at least an hour every day, some days multiple hours. I am a pretty emotionless person and don’t really feel attraction or love for anybody but her. I knew my emotions were wrong so instead of trying to pursue a relationship I decided I was going to tell her I love her and that I can’t see her. The reason I was going to tell her about my love is because I didn’t want her thinking I wasn’t hanging out with her because I hate her, since she had a previous best friend that did this and it made her extremely sad. So one day I told her that I loved her and that I couldn’t hang out with her anymore. She basically just said okay and I dropped her off at her house. 4 days go by and I’m miserable. I can’t eat a lot I sleep like shit and I woke up twice in the middle of the night shaking. I snapped her and told her that I was sorry and I just wanted out friendship to continue. She told me she needed time away from me and I said okay and left it at that. Later that night my mom came in my room and told. That she knew what I said ti my cousin and that she wasn’t mad at me. I was extremely pissed because my cousin who I trusted more than anybody swore she wouldn’t tell, and it hurt that she betrayed my trust since it was something I was extremely ashamed of. I was fucking pissed and just starred at my mom while she talked. My mom learnt from her mom and to my knowledge her mom and my mom were the only people that knew. About 3 weeks go by and she posted a tik tok about me making fun of me for it. Some of my family saw this and I thought I wanted to explain my reasoning to them about why I did what I did so they wouldn’t hate me, but I really don’t care what they think of me. For all I care they can’t hate me I don’t really love any of them and don’t care if they hate me. I’m just pretty pissed and sad about this because we had such a good friendship and I ruined it because of an emotion I can’t control and then she went and betrayed my trust which fucked me up a lot. I told her about a month ago and have been very sad without her. She was my only friend, and the only person I enjoyed talking to.
TL:DR don’t have one friend who is your cousin of the opposite sex
whosthedumbest: It is unfortunate how everyone else is responding particularly your cousin. People are weird. A second cousin is basically a genetic stranger. We have weird taboos as a society. You should not feel ashamed. Don't know what you should do from here, but you should not feel ashamed about your initial feelings. Just don't give in to the hate. You have every right to be upset. But hate is pretty useless.
carlosnobigdeal: The 2nd cousin is not a distant cousin. For all we know, they played together as kids. They seem to be close in age. The mom’s have each other’s contact. It’s not the DNA that’s an issue, this family is close.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1656583092 | 1656614407 | t3_vo4oej | t5_2to41 | 13,496 | blameitonmyouth: TIFU by accidentally dropping a pregnancy test on my boyfriend
My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. I have been on the pill the whole time, and it’s the only contraceptive we use.
We are both very clear on the fact we don’t want more kids. I’m in my 30’s and he’s in his early 40’s. We only have one child between the two of us, but we are happy and it’s all we need.
I take the pill nonstop, I have been on it for about 4 months. I just had a weird feeling, so I picked up a pregnancy test.
For some reason it wasn’t in a bag, and when I was carrying an armload of stuff into his house, the pregnancy test fell onto his footrest on the couch.
He had a slight panic attack, and I immediately went into the bathroom and took it. negative. But still, my poor boyfriend. He’s not very observant, and had a similar scare when I sent him a picture of my positive Covid test, and he didn’t read what type of test it was.
I told him I was going to get my tubes tied, and he’s offered to get a vasectomy instead.
TL;DR: I almost gave my boyfriend a heart attack by accidentally making him think I was pregnant, and we’re gettin sterilized
Edit: How I take the pill- 4 months on/ 1 week off. Also, we are old, the kid isn’t his.
A kind redditor just messaged me and said you can get free vasectomies at planned parenthood. With the state of the USA today, I wanted to add this to my post, in case it helps even one person. I really feel for you all, these are scary times.
We live in Canada, where there are free vasectomies and abortions for all 🇨🇦
remmy7005r: Don't get your tubes tied, I know a few women that have and they ended up with other problems. Vasectomy is the way to go, or try an IUD.
Black_flaminago84: Also it’s likely much easier to get a doctor to do his vasectomy. Women are endlessly questioned about their choice.
I knew a woman late 30’s who was child free and wanted to remain that way- they wouldn’t tie her tubes for her because they thought she would change her mind
the_first_brovenger: You're making the doctors out to be evil women-hating monsters.
Those procedures aren't typically reversable, so it's not just invasive surgery but a life-altering decision.
Of course you have to be "asked endlessly" if it's really if it's sure it's what you want when you have so many other contraceptive options available.
It's not (just) about doubting the woman's resolve. It's not about taking away her autonomy. They're "questioned endlessly" in progressive countries as well.For all the doctor knows, there may be other factors at play both internal and external. Pressure from a spouse, gaslighting, depression or underlying mental health issues, extreme low period in her life, etc, etc, etc. If you add up all the various possibilities then you're left with a not-insigificant change it may not be what she actually want. It's then the doctor's sworn responsibility to make sure everything is okay before doing **invasive life-altering surgery.**
I am in no way disparaging the wish to be child-free here, and this is not about pushing the idea women "can't decide".The reason it's different for men is because it's reversible (might even happen naturally) and a relatively minor surgical procedure. It's apples and oranges.
And of course, then there are the doctors who genuinely are assholes.That one doctor who completely refused to tie the tubes is one such example.
Downvoting me for presenting the reasons doctors are careful, stay classy Reddit.Man or woman, or anything in between or outside, it's okay and it's neccessary for medical personell to question your choices. They are bound by law and by their ethical codes to do so.
I'm friends with a lot of doctors in their 30s.
Young men and women, Norwegians one and all, save for one German. Progressive as you can get. They have talked about this very subject. It's fucking hard. They *have* to counsel. They're *destroying a part of your body.* They take that EXTREMELY seriously.
KaiserLykos: This would be a reasonable response if there weren't (at the very least) hundreds of stories from women where they were denied tubal ligation for YEARS. Not just requiring counseling or questioning or having more than one appointment to make sure, but literally years of doctor shopping and begging to get it done and still being denied, very often on the basis of "but what if your future husband wants kids?"
Like I don't think people realize that that question boils down to taking a woman's autonomy away and giving it to a man that is entirely hypothetical and not in her life.
the_first_brovenger: > but what if your future husband wants kids?
That's a perfectly reasonable question.
People do not live in vacuums, and we do not make our decisions in a vacuum. It's perfectly reasonable to present a situation where your choice may be influenced by another person.
Let me rephrase the question so it's more acceptable to you.
A doctor is visited by a bisexual woman:
> But what if your future wife wants kids?
It immediately becomes less controversial, doesn't it?
It's easier to accept the question, and to acknowledge that the question itself does not question her autonomy, but acts as a way to counsel her on her decision.
Yes, it absolutely is within reason to point out her life may change in the future, when it's a *life-altering decision*.
At this point it's worth noting that treating that question as "challenging a woman's autonomy" is implying women are not able to hear such a question.
DiveCat: If I am childfree the “what if your future husband (or wife) wanted kids”’is ridiculous because HE WOULDN’T BECOME MY HUSBAND OR WIFE. They wouldn’t even become/stay a boyfriend or girlfriend for very long because that is a fundamental incompatibility.
Why is it those who say they want kids never seem to be asked “what if your future husband or wife doesn’t want kids?”. You know what else is life altering? Having fucking kids but no one who does ever seems to be expected to “prove” they really know what that means.
I am fortunate to have had a doctor who didn’t think that I as an adult woman couldn’t know my own mind or respect that being childfree was not just like some fanciful thought of the day.
the_first_brovenger: That's fine for you, and I'm not advocating for taking away your choice.
What about those who do not want kids in their current slive of life, but will want them later on for different reasons?
We're talking about the act of asking a fucking question. I am 100% against denying women the procedure, but asking a question is not denying anything.
The world doesn't revolve around you. There are billions of other main characters.
onlycomeoutatnight: Adopt. There are thousands of kids out there in need of a loving home. The world is overpopulated.
If someone got sterilized and later decided they wanted kids, they can help a child in need of a home instead of bringing a new one into the world.
The people who say they are child free do so for a reason. To suggest they don't know their own mind is infantalizing.
the_first_brovenger: > To suggest they don't know their own mind is infantalizing.
So you're saying psychologists and psychiatrists by definition and by their very existence are "infantilising".
You fucking donkey.
This is nothing but a rabid "PROTEC WOMEN" outburst from people, like how dare people suggest women aren't 100% mindful of themselves and their future at all times. Which *noone* ever is.
This is fucking ridiculous.
onlycomeoutatnight: Well, you've resorted to name calling, so it's clear you have no real argument left.
As a therapist myself, I feel qualified to say you have no idea what you're saying and are conflating mental health disorders with reproductive choices. That you can't see the difference between people purposefully taking control over their own reproduction and people who've identified maladaptive behavior they'd like to change is unsurprising.
the_first_brovenger: > conflating mental health disorders with reproductive choices
No-one's conflating the two.
It being about reproductive choice is irrelevant.
The relevant part is the doctor is signing off on major invasive surgery and the destruction of bodily function.
That's literally what the doctor is doing.
The doctors responsibility isn't keeping the woman fertile. The doctors responsibility is making sure when they order such a procedure, they are damn certain it's what the person actually wants and needs.
You should well fucking know to respect just how *massive* of a procedure it is, and understand why doctors take so many precautions.
onlycomeoutatnight: Precautions, yes. Denying of a well-thought out medical decision because their future self may disagree..or worse, that their future HUSBAND may disagree...that is indefensible.
And I absolutely do understand how invasive the procedure is, having gone through it myself. I have girlfriends who were denied the procedure, even though they were VERY sure they never wanted children, even though the hysterectomy would save one of them years of extreme pain from endometriosis, and even though another had the full support of her wife...none of it mattered until they were in their late 30's, already had kids, or their husband agreed to it.
Their doctors were not taking precautions. They were judging these women as being less capable of making decisions about their own reproduction because they went against the norms of "woman = have babies."
the_first_brovenger: > **Denying** of a well-thought out medical decision because their future self may disagree..or worse, that their future HUSBAND may disagree...that is indefensible.
No-one here is advocating this.
The *only* thing I'm defending is the question itself.
> And I absolutely do understand how invasive the procedure is, having gone through it myself
Well then that's your issue innit?
It's an invasive procedure. It's major surgery. It's the destruction of bodily function.
These are plain medical facts, and that is what doctors have to work with. Your lack of understanding does not validate your opinions.
I realise you're dealing with more than just careful doctors. I get it's fucked especially in the US. But you need tog et your head out of your arse and understand my defending a *question* does not make me "one of them".
This is fucking mental.
| 14 | 964 | |
1656583908 | 1656589150 | t3_vo4wc8 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally turning into a MainCharacter when crossing the road.
[deleted]
JoshyTheLlamazing: I'm determined to learn as much British slang as possible.
Prat is a new one..mind you I just began yesterday.
Apendica: You’ll find a picture of me next to it in the dictionary 
JoshyTheLlamazing: Duffer was the one that really kicked it off...I've had a moment quite similar maybe my picture is next to the word Duffer.
| 4 | 4 | |
1656586463 | 1657075768 | t3_vo5k27 | t5_2to41 | 6 | BlatantConservative: TIFU by accidentally convincing my dad that someone was trying to assassinate him.
For background, I live about 40 minutes away from my parents. I visit them often, we have a great relationship, but I generally only visit on weekends cause trying to drive for 40 minutes after work through the Washington DC area is the driving equivalent of trying to cram toothpaste back into a tube of cement.
Anyway, while having dinner with them a few weeks ago, my dad mentioned that he thought someone or something had been messing with his wood pile to the side of his house. He had one of those clip up tarps over it to keep the weather off of it.
It had been unclipped and some of the wood was on the floor under it. Obviously, it had just become unclipped and some wood fell out, but my dad found it weird that it happened twice.
A few days ago, on a weekday, I had been brought to my parent's town due to a friend needing some help with something, so I ended up a block away from the house at 11PM.
Anyway, I decided it would be fun to mess with the wood.
I snuck in, having grown up in that house I knew exactly how to avoid being seen. They were watching TV anyway.
I started to place logs in a circle around his motorcycle. My idea was to do the circle, and also put a single log right in front of their front door.
Anwyay, after taking one log and putting it on a table in the back (I was gonna bundle them up and carry them at once) and leaving one log behind the motorcycle, someone walked out of the front door to walk the dog around the block.
I drive a very identifiable car, and I parked it at the end of the block, so I sprinted to get to it before whoever it was circled the block and I drove off.
I texted my brother, who is at home for the summer, and asked him to tell me when the found out.
The next day, he texts me "they found it" without a lot of detail, and I laughed and figured I would come clean eventually.
Unbeknownst to me, my dad's motorcycle had a loose something or other in the brakes, so when my dad left for work that morning, there was a chock of wood blocking one of his wheels and his brake line was suspicious.
My dad works generally in the DC spere, and he's a somewhat prominent Never Trumper. With all of the chaos this week, there were any dozens of people who could have wanted to hurt my dad, theoretically in some way maybe.
Anyway, he took it as a malicious harassment. My poor mom wasn't able to go to sleep at night and actually, sleep deprived, told her boss "someone keeps moving our wood" which understandably was incredibly confusing.
Yesterday, I came over for a wedding we were all going to, and I asked them if they'd noticed anything unusual of the oaken variety.
I learned, through my own laughter, that they had looked into getting a security system, my dad had bought a trail camera to watch the wood, he had accused one of his friends of doing it and that friend said "It probably was one of your sons" and my dad said that that was impossible because my brother was (apparently) out of the house and I was 40 minutes away.
So I do think I fucked up by not making it clearer that it was a prank (and not thinking about safety implications) and I feel bad that they lost sleep and money over it.
But also, I have not laughed this hard in months.
TL;DR; Tried to be campy goofy Joker, ended up being Nolan Joker.
OceansCarraway: Well, fancy seeing you here. Will we get a new thread like normal today?
BlatantConservative: I'm stuck in Spokeane waiting for a train that leaves at 1 AM... This whole town is too cheap to let me charge my shit or have wifi...
When I'm on the train I'm gonna have nothing to do but be on the internet tho.
OceansCarraway: Looks like another reason to cross Spoke-aine off my list of tourist sites, then.
BlatantConservative: The downtown area is alright, the waterfront park thing is pretty, but yeah this city just does not have much. Like, there's less to do here than random individual suburbs of DC. There are two convenience stores, one of them both my Uber driver and the mall concierge told me was dangerous and the other one has 5 dollar items behind locks and a grimy safe. If you go more than a block outside of the main streets, you're in the ghetto and you see people trying to fight each other. At like, 3 in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
The only good thing about the city is the AMC theater, I got to watch Top Gun in nice reclining electric chairs for 5 bucks.
Nothing here is something I'd tourist to come see for sure though.
I was walking around with my suitcase and people kept on asking me where I was from and I'd say "Washington- no Washington DC" lmao.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1656592036 | 1656594343 | t3_vo7670 | t5_2to41 | 43 | ZephyrValkyrie: TIFU by accidentally creating chlorine gas in my bathroom
Let this be a lesson to all who have recently moved out.
Me (M19) and my girlfriend (F20) moved out of our parent’s homes about 8 months ago, and have been living in a small 1 bedroom apartment together. I have generally taken care of the cleaning, while she takes care of the cooking. Apart from small squabbles, everything has been fine.
Today, I decided to clean the bathroom. So, I started by using mold remover (old apartments will grow mold like it’s nobody’s business), and I sprayed down my sink. I scrubbed away, washing it away with water afterwards. I then took my pink-coloured calcite remover, and sprayed in on the sink. I watched the pink spray turn green, thought “Oh no” to myself, and then suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’m really glad that I had my FFP2 mask nearby. I slapped that on, and attempted to wash away as much of the reacting cleaner as I could. I am now sitting in my bedroom, waiting for the bathroom to air out.
This is a warning to all, do not mix cleaning supplies, unless specifically directed to. Ever! My nose, throat, and chest still burn.
TL;DR - I mixed cleaning supplies and inhaled a buttload of chlorine gas.
Flatliac: Babe, please never do this again.
ZephyrValkyrie: I promise I won’t <3
boogerpeanut: Omg if this is your GF then you guys are just too cute!
ZephyrValkyrie: Thanks :)
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1656594478 | 1656595947 | t3_vo7zgu | t5_2to41 | 44 | loverlose: TIFU by getting very drunk in front of my coworkers
To be fair, this happened yesterday. We had a work party (quite a serious one, with a professional DJ and cocktails), and the cocktails were a bit stronger than I anticipated. So, about halfway through the evening, there I was, hugging the toilet.
So two of my coworkers (one of them I knew, one I didn't) brought me back to my room (which is on site). The one I knew took my key, and said that he'd check on me later that evening.
At some point, I decide to go to the toilet. However, when leaving the toilet, I went into full auto pilot and turned left (as I would in my regular home). However, in this room, turning to the left meant that I opened the outside door and ended up in the hallway. As the door closed, I realised my mistake: I had locked myself out of my room without my phone.
So, I decided to sit down in the stairwell, and chatted with a few people going to their own room. I sat there for about an hour, when someone came by and suggested I call some location management person to let me in my room. As I didn't have my phone and I had no idea what he was talking about, he called, and someone would come over to let me in the room.
So after about another half an hour, this guy that brought me back to my room comes back (with my key) and opens the door for me. At this point I'd already forgotten that someone else was gonna come and open the door for me, so I just went to bed. After a few minutes, I hear a knock on the door, and I open the door to this grumpy guy who tells me off for not letting him know I'd already gotten into my room.
Anyway, in the end it all turned out okay, but gosh, it's my first month at this job and I'm already making a fool of myself.
Tldr; got very drunk in front of coworkers, locked myself out of my room, lost both my sunglasses and my dignity.
yikesonbikes2: That’s why we have the golden rule: don’t drink at work events 😅 makes for a good story though!
loverlose: Yeah, that would've been smart. Everybody was drinking though.
yikesonbikes2: I go to work events at really nice places with open bars probably once weekly. My entire team drinks but I order soda water and a slice of whatever bar fruit and no one ever questions me. I know I’m safer that way and there’s no chance of me having stories like that due to inebriation….my own stupidity on the other hand often gives me some good opportunities to have stories similar lol
| 4 | 11 | |
1656597221 | 1656621008 | t3_vo8ydu | t5_2to41 | 2 | DerpyRose1: TIFU by taking full spectrum CBD
Okay so backstory: I have been struggling with my mental health for the last 6 months or so because I walked out of my old job and quit taking my anxiety meds. Fast forward to 4 weeks ago: I had some trouble finding full spectrum cbd at the dispensaries in town because everyone is moving over to delta-8 and other THC products. The last time I had purchased cbd was in October, shit was cash and chilled me tf out. But I had ran out of the stuff a while back and the store wasn't carrying it. So my brilliant ass thought "okay fine, I can just buy something online." And so I order some 3000mg high dose CBD and things are peaches and cream when I take 2-3 50ml drops (about 75ml of cbd) yesterday I had a terrible anxiety attack at work so I was struggling to fall asleep and stay calm. I wanted to fall asleep cause I had work in 7 hours and I was supposed to do a 12 hr shift, and I didn't want to be dead. so I take a whopping 6 drops of 50ml and chill out for a good 2 hours. I was starting to to see shit and thought I was having a seizure and now it's been 9ish hours and I'm tripping balls. The goddamn container didn't even have thc listed and according to the internet full spectrum cbd does *not* do this ???
TL;DR did what I thought was safe CBD but am tweaking anyways
DarknessEyesPT: U took 75ml.or 75mg cbd at once?
I use 50mg at a time once every 3-12 months and only thing i notice is no more back pain in next morning.
DerpyRose1: Yeah as the day progressed it started to feel more like the flu or maybe covid, couldn't tell you what the weird 8bit colors I kept seeing were
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1656598173 | 1656598914 | t3_vo9bci | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by screaming "GAY" in a religion class
[deleted]
InstallWizard: Ha GAY
Uberpastamancer: Thanks, señor Chang
| 3 | 1 | |
1656601805 | 1656619142 | t3_voaoev | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by being British and thinking New Jersey is a borough of New York
[removed]
tommydaq: Lol! Was just reading your r/askanamerican thread. Good luck to you! NYC on $75k is going to be rough. Do you already have a job there? If not, consider another city.
PlasticPudding4368: The job is in NYC as a paramedic but I want live in New Jersey. Surely a 75k salary can get me a decent place in NJ No?
tommydaq: Like others said, probably with some roommates. It’s not just the rent that is expensive there. The entire cost of living is elevated in and around NYC. Do you know anyone in the area? My son goes up there all the time. His GF lives in Brooklyn (i think). Either of them may have advice for spots to live. DM me if you’d like to connect with him. Best of luck to you.
PlasticPudding4368: Hi, no I don’t know anyone at all and That’s the part I’m really looking forward to. Just starting a new and fresh life. Nearer the time I’ll shoot you a message :)
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1656600178 | 1656614079 | t3_voa1zx | t5_2to41 | 37 | Spearogriffin: TIFU by not getting a hair cut
So this started about 3hrs ago and is healing.
So this morning around 4a.m. I was doing my job, and shuttling fare to the airport, when I had a small pain on the shaft of my penis, just below the head, on the bottom side. I tried to adjust as these things happen but to no avail.
After dropping off at the airport I was a bit more vigorous and strapping at it through the pants. I didn't want to reach down my pants as there are cameras in my rig, and while unlikely to be checked I didn't want to have that as a possibility. But still nothing doing, pain persist. I move on shuttling people as it's a busy time of day, and when I make the most money. I have to have the rig back around 6 so I decided I'll check it out then.
6 rolls around and I had in, I've the last two hours the pain has gotten a bit more intense, but not by much. So I take my time going to the bathroom, fill up the tank, wash the rig, and file my paper work. Finally I get to go to the bathroom and find out what's going on. I look down at my little dude and see a wart, and think to myself, "There's no way, I'm on a dry spell and this couldn't come from anywhere." Upon closer examination one of my long head hairs from my head attached to my neck had been hanging out in my unkempt bush and created a noose around a tiny piece of skin. I pull on the hair but that hurts so I pick at it until it is detached. So I'm still recovering... not that much pain, looks like my locks are on the chopping block this week.
TLDR: long hair from my head got tangled in my bush and made a noose on the loose skin on my dick.
PotentialAccess5401: NGL, that was weird as fuck
Spearogriffin: Just made me wonder how often it happens to people with a va-goo
Blue_Myth: Head hair down there is surprisingly common, but there's nothing to wrap around so never had a noose down there
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1656601803 | 1656618130 | t3_voaodv | t5_2to41 | 45 | T0asterFork: TIFU by accidentally giving my cat a superhero cape
Obligatory this didn't happen today. I had 2 cats, a mother and her son from a litter she had a few years before this. For some reason I never understood, both liked to lick any kind of plastic bag they could find. One day, I get home from grocery shopping and start putting everything away and toss the empty bags into a pile as I go. The son jumps up onto the pile and starts licking the bags so, naturally, I yell at him to knock it off. This is where the FU happens...
&#x200B;
Hearing my scolding, his head pops up to look at me. His head, however, also slips right through the handle of one of the bags and now he's wearing it. He realizes what just happened and his eyes get HUGE, so he goes tearing off in the opposite direction to get away from it. But he's wearing it, there is no escape. Him and his newfound superhero cape go flying into the living room at full speed, do a couple laps around the couch, run upstairs into my bedroom then across the hall into my office and back downstairs again... you get the idea, he's sprinting laps around the house while I try to catch him and not die of laughter at the same time (it's tougher than it sounds). After a few minutes of this, he runs back upstairs to hide under my bed. Ok, I can fix this now right? Not exactly. I squeeze about halfway under the bed and try to grab the bag, he's so freaked out that thinks I'm trying to attack him and counterattacks me. Momma cat sees what's going on and comes at me from the other direction, trying to defend him. So here I am, halfway under a bed trying to grab a plastic bag while getting attacked from two different directions by my cats. A few minutes and many scratches later, I managed to free him but he remained in hiding for most of the day afterwards.
&#x200B;
tl;dr - cat likes bag, bag attacks, unreasonable amount of crazy ensues.
CapriciousPenguin: Lol! Cats like plastic for the same reason that many animals like to eat plastic: it is made with some sort of animal fat that smells enticing to creatures of all kinds. There was an article in The Economist about it a few years ago.
T0asterFork: Huh, I'm going to have to look that up
ttystikk: LMAO
I hope you have since made a full recovery and your cats have forgiven you!
T0asterFork: I was definitely forgiven, I can't say the same about the bag though 🤣
| 5 | 9 | |
1656602576 | 1656690077 | t3_voaz9l | t5_2to41 | 359 | BellaGeisha334: TIFU by accidentally giving some guy the wrong answers on an exam.
So it was about 5 minutes until the exam started and I suddenly remembered a question that the teacher had comfirmed was going to show up. So instead of pulling my textbook out to read on it, I figured I'd just research it...cause it was quicker.
And to my suprise it did come out, and it also conveniently held like alot of marks, So I happily did it.
Now the guy beside me was having some trouble and asked me the answer for the same question.
My very intelligent brain being 100% sure I was correct confidently gave it to him.
He sometimes helps me during tests so I just wanted to help me out this time.
Fastfoward 30 minutes later after the exam I found out I typed in the wrong thing and therefore got the wrong answer.
TL;DR Not only have I lost alot of marks cause I refused to double check. I made somone else fail. It was an important exam, He looked so happy getting the answer, I want to die.
threedogcircus: And your very similar incorrect answers probably will lead the teacher to realize you're cheating.
BellaGeisha334: Might as well just crawl up and die now.
RevolutionaryShip862: Is cheating that bad? Happens in the world all the time!
Even if its wrong, and you tank the exam, things will work out my dude!
There's always away around or another chance.
ItchingForTrouble: In university and college, cheating is grounds for expulsion. So yes, getting caught cheating is pretty bad.
RevolutionaryShip862: Doesn't mean the system is right 😂
ItchingForTrouble: Well imagine this. Imagine you are visiting a doctor and they got their degree by cheating. Meaning they didn't bother learning. Now you have a terrible headache and he sends you to get some scans. Now the scans come back and says you have some kind of mass in your head. This doctor doesn't know things, because he cheated. So he sends you to get chemotherapy and maybe some radiotherapy. A few weeks ago by and you get worse. Now you're losing consciousness. Turns out you didn't have cancer, you had a very rare brain infection. Your doctor put your life at risk because he got his degree by cheating.
This is why university and college punishes you for cheating.
RevolutionaryShip862: I'm a doctor, I cheated
That itching, could be crabs.
| 8 | 44.875 | |
1656603924 | 1656655735 | t3_vobhxk | t5_2to41 | 5,124 | [deleted]: TIFU by spending $80 on a cam site
[deleted]
Veloreyn: To be fair, $80 isn't a bad price for this kind of learning experience. Some people don't get there after dropping hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Don't beat yourself up too much.
ninernetneepneep: The recent doll guy comes to mind, lol.
And... Don't "beat" yourself up. 🤣
TheRogueMoose: At least he didn't spend the 3k on the more expensive doll though!
iwenyani: I think he should have bought the new Ciri (Witcher) doll, and have her displayed (with clothing) when he is not using her.
Edit: it is the adult Ciri from Witcher 3, just to clarify.
https://celesdolls.com/game-lady-doll-releases-ciri-sex-doll-from-the-witcher-3/
Aoeletta: …at what age? I am concerned.
lastson0fkrypton: Hello, FBI? Right here. :)
Aoeletta: Right? That’s sick. I really hope it’s the older model that’s why I asked.
iwenyani: It is the one from Witcher 3, the game.
Their subreddit exploded when it was announced, and to be honest, it really looks like her. I could even imagine super fans of the game buying this doll, just to display it at home.
JillingJacks: Dave, why does your statue smell funny?
Dave: Umm....
iwenyani: 😂😂😂
Dave is clearly not the type, who cleans his toys 🤢
| 11 | 465.818182 | |
1656604187 | 1656605433 | t3_voblot | t5_2to41 | 19 | Fair-Highlight-4001: TIFU by falling for a scam and depositing a fraud check
I’m a broke college freshman, first of all. I got an email in my uni’s mail about a job opportunity for a personal assistant job- i’ve always wanted something like that, a virtual assistant deal because i’m rather organized and i’d love to be paid organizing things for others. Note that in retrospect, I did not know this was a
I got emailed by a person claiming to be a doctor in LA. I looked up the person’s name and they were real, definitely. But some details were off… so i kinda decided it was just the information being yet to update if they recently moved.
It seemed like a good deal, $500 a week for just mailing stuff or buying gifts. Was super convincing. Again, not really knowing this was a false scam.
The “doctor” eventually convinced me to deposit a check after being pushy about it, and i’ve honestly never seen a proper check before (blame the school system and me only ever having direct deposit jobs). It was fraudulent, but I had only realized this after I had already deposited it due to a gut feeling and asking a close older friend. Then, i looked it up to see it was a new but now common scam. I wish my gut told me sooner, as even my friends from the outside of this were convinced i just landed a great job offer.
So i called the bank to tell them I mistakenly deposited a fraudulent check and ask for help. They say i’m fine, that the money won’t be put in or out of my account as it’s on hold and they can just manage it. I wake up the next morning only to see i was -2,000 in the negative. The exact amount I had deposited with that stupid check.
I called the bank again, saying I want that money to not reflect on my account and that that check was from a fraudulent source. They tell me i’ll have my negative balance removed by the end of the day and perhaps have a small fee charged. So i go on with my day, only to see this morning that nothing changed and there’s a letter telling me “as we discussed, no action will be taken”.
… damn it. Guess i’m working overtime.
TL;DR I fell for a personal assistant scam and my bank won’t help much, so now i’m around 2k in debt.
nnaughtydogg: Nah if you called they 100% should not have let that check go through. Call them again and explain, and ask to speak to a manager. They should have records of your calls. Don’t accept the banks excuses
Fair-Highlight-4001: That’s what i’m thinking. When I saw the hold I immediately was like “hey dude i think that check for 2,000 was a fraudulent check.” The second time, I said “hey this is DEFINITELY a fraud. Please don’t let this go into my account.”
I’ll be calling again today to be persistent. We both fucked up in this case.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1656604360 | 1656642394 | t3_vobo0t | t5_2to41 | 6 | RMghost0: TIFU by not checking for toilet paper before shitting
Hey, so today I went to a big store that I often go to, now i'm not someone who shits on places that are not my home, but today I really had to go,there was pretty much no one in the store aside from some workers
The bathroom was at the other side of the store and when I arrived there was no one else to be seen around
So cool, i sit down, take a shit, and I go to wipe, when I realize there's no toilet paper, I scream fuck internally, and weigh my options, no one's around to ask for toilet paper, and there were no paper towels outside the bathroom, I didn't have no phone with me either, so welp, i'm screwed
Until I conjure up the idea, to wipe with the used toilet paper on the dirty basket, which is fucked, but what else could I do 💀😭
I grab a couple bits and fold them to where they're not dirty, and wipe my ass clean, clearly disgusted by the situation, while trying to not get stranger's shit smeared in my hands
I rush home and wash my ass like 4 fucking times and I still feel dirty 😭😭😭
TL;DR I wiped my ass with stranger's used toilet paper because I had no option
RudeSprinkles1240: No toilet paper? Good bye socks!
RMghost0: Yo I was wearing my Vans without socks😭
BuzzedtheTower: So not checking for toilet paper wasn't your only fuck up today
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1656606245 | 1656614114 | t3_vocf77 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally scheduling two dates at the same time.
[removed]
Shmeein: All I am hearing is a wasted 3some opportunity. You had nothing to lose at that point! lol!
&#x200B;
Sorry for your loss though...nobody likes a sexless afternoon.
RandoCalrissian11: Well, it’s an ad sooo….
Shmeein: an ad?? for AFF?? nahhhh
| 4 | 9 | |
1656608893 | 1656623479 | t3_vodfug | t5_2to41 | 163 | ButtPledge: TIFU by unintentionally telling a cleaner she was going to die
Our office enjoys a good immature joke, but I didn't expect it to go this far.
A co-worker with a great sense of humor tested positive at home and called to say he was coming to pick up his stuff from his desk, and that he'd mask up etc. Quickly before he came, I created a sign for his door with the words:
**THIS OFFICE IS INFECTED WITH COVID. IF YOU STEP INSIDE YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO DIE.**
To make it extra ridiculous, I included a clip art-esque image of a happy smiling skeleton peeking out from behind a casket lid.
He came in to collect his stuff, he laughed and asked, "Who the fuck made that crazy thing?" and collected his stuff. Hours later, I put the sign on his desk, facing away from the corridor (you'd need to be behind his desk to see it).
That was last Friday. Fast forward to this week...
On Monday, our office manager notices nothing was cleaned/trash wasn't emptied on Friday. She thought nothing of it, we value the building's cleaning staff and she figured the lady must have been sick and taken Friday off. No big deal.
For context, we are one down from the top floor of the building, and the cleaner typically goes top-to-bottom. There's five floors beneath us.
Hours later, the cleaning company boss walks in, interrupting his vacation time off, to come in and see us.
He asks about the "Covid situation" in the office, and says he was told our office had been declared "contaminated" by the local health authority, with "fatal covid".
Turns out the cleaning lady saw the sign on Friday, burst into tears, locked her cart away and ran home having only cleaned one floor of the building. She then spent all weekend upset and in tears thinking she was going to die. She told the boss Friday who missed the message and when he reached out to her Monday, she announced she's refusing to come back to work because of the "contamination".
She believed my sign was an official sign from the local health authority, which is totally beyond me, because the wording was ridiculous and the clip art picture of the smiling skeleton in the coffin couldn't have made it any more obvious it was tongue-in-cheek. If I'd added the local government logo then perhaps I'd be to blame, but I didn't.
The boss was shown the sign and agreed it wasn't real, but did ask we don't do "things like that" any more, as it scares people.
He now has a staff member who walked off the job Friday, spent all weekend upset about her impending death, and is refusing to come back to work.
I felt pretty bad, but can't feel bad for her stupidity. Either way, I fucked up!
TL;DR - I put up a joke sign about guaranteed death due to Covid in our office, and a cleaning lady took it seriously and walked off the job.
reality_junkie_xo: Dude, why is someone who is infected with COVID picking up their stuff in the office, even with a mask? Could someone not bring it to him? That is messed up.
MyNeighborThrowaway: My friend works at a car dealership, he tested positive yesterday. (As did a few of my friends post pride celebrations). Today they called him because they need him to take another test; he does not have one. They are demanding he drive to the pharmacy and buy more, while covid positive.
I'll never understand it.
reality_junkie_xo: That is nuts.
| 4 | 40.75 | |
1656609587 | 1656613484 | t3_vodoyo | t5_2to41 | 16 | thatvirgobitchh: TIFU by doing shrooms on a work night
My boyfriend and I spontaneously decided to take shrooms on a Wednesday night (yesterday) at 8:00pm. I honestly don’t even know what got into me because I don’t even like drinking on a work night and I’m a stickler for my bedtime lol. But here we are, mistakes were made. 😂
As we were coming up, we thought we had found our perfect dose that wouldn’t last too long or make us see visuals. Boy, were we wrong. The shrooms we had this time were much more potent than normal and we ended up having a normal 6-hour trip, visuals, heavy body, and euphoria all included. I truly realized I fucked up when it was almost 11:30pm and I was still seeing visuals and feeling the shrooms. If anyone knows anything about shrooms, they make you tired af but your mind is still spinning so I was so fucking tired but just couldn’t shut my brain off. Ended up not even going to sleep until 1:00am and then had to get up early for work so here I sit typing this at work with an energy drink and a fuzzy head. Pray for me.
*TL;DR I took shrooms on a work night and a way longer trip than expected, stayed up til 1:00am even though I needed to wake up early for work.*
CALsHero09: Oof. Always do shrooms before 5 on work nights.
thatvirgobitchh: Solid advice lol. This is why I typically just do them on the weekends when I'm off work. 😂
CALsHero09: Im good with micro, but trip i gotta start at 5 to fall asleep by midnight to wake up at 530. Lol head still feels full and happy. Veddy noice.
| 4 | 4 | |
1656603195 | 1656653975 | t3_vob7pm | t5_2to41 | 563 | Mindconditioner: TIFU by not checking my boss’s birthday gift
A few years ago when I got my first job in this country, I was new to America and did not know much of its pop culture. My boss was a friendly guy and we were a small office. He invited me along with my coworkers to his birthday party at his home during my first week. He told me that he and his son have their birthdays just days apart and always celebrate together.
I had not received my first paycheck yet and was short on cash. I couldn’t afford two gifts either so I thought to buy one that they could share as a father and son. I didn’t know much about him except that he loved sports and had an autographed baseball in his office. He had told me his son wanted to be an artist and didn’t share his passion for sports.
I was looking for something cheap in the sports section on eBay and I found a great value listing of a box of bestselling Sports Illustrated issues. The seller even agreed to gift wrap the box before shipping it to spare me the trouble.
The seller didn’t have any photos of the issues and had uploaded just the stock photo of the logo. Being the idiot that I was, I had assumed that these were illustrations and drawings of famous sportspersons and spectacular moments in sporting events. I had thought this would bring the father and son together by combining sports and artistic illustrations.
I did not know these were magazines and I also did not know that the bundle I had bought was a collection of the swimsuit issues. I gifted the box without opening it to my boss and his son and told them I wished for them to find enjoyment together using this present.
In the weeks that followed, I continued asking my boss how they were liking the gift and whether he and his son were having fun together. He was always taken aback and avoided the topic. It was only when his son visited the office one day and thanked me for the stash of Kate Upton that I looked into it and apologised profusely to my boss after googling her.
tl;dr Gifted my boss a stash of naked Kate Upton magazines thinking I had instead ordered a box of artistic sports illustrations.
[deleted]: What did the boss saay after apologizing to him?
Mindconditioner: We later had a good laugh about it once we both got on the same page. I did not even realise it at first because when his son thanked me for the Kate Upton editions, I had assumed she was a favorite sportsperson of his and even asked my boss what he thought of her too. It was only after I went home that day that I searched for her highlights on YouTube. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to figure out that she didn’t play any sport.
I apologised to my boss the next day and we had a good laugh about it. He told me how he and his wife had also had a good laugh at their son trying to convince them to let him hold on to the magazines so that he could learn more about sports. He claimed he wanted them solely for educative purposes and they decided to humor him.
throwaway4DPPetc: I love the idea of you looking her up and growing increasingly irate at the amount of semi nude pics and videos, with your search terms getting more and more specific.
Kate Upton not in bikini playing actual sports highlights fully clothed NO CLEAVAGE NO ASS PLAYING REAL SPORT
No-Specialist7322: lmao
| 5 | 112.6 | |
1656618242 | 1656619105 | t3_voh1j1 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU getting a girls number while shopping.
[deleted]
RandoCalrissian11: Based on your story, she dodged a bullet.
drrobotnik321: Thanks bub
| 3 | 4 | |
1656619908 | 1656716727 | t3_vohofl | t5_2to41 | 278 | antiboysuper: TIFU by leaving cash in my bathroom
I have a part time job as a bartender so I often have cash which I usually leave on my bathroom counter. I do this in hopes I won't spend it faster. I also don't share my bathroom with anyone so I'm never worried about it. For a long time i would keep it semi hidden in a book but lately it just sits out in the open. Then last night someone i considered a friend came over to hangout. I let them use my bathroom not thinking twice about it since they are my friend. I woke up this morning $100 short. It was easily noticeable since I had 2 $100 bills yesterday and only 1 today. I even went to the bank yesterday and deposited most of the cash leaving just over $200, guess I should have deposited all of it. I feel if I said anything they'd deny it and say I was drunk and probably spent it without remembering. Maybe their conscience will get to them and they'll return it or maybe they really needed it. Either way this person is off my Christmas card list now and I'll go back to hiding my cash.
TL;DR someone I thought was a friend stole $100 from a cash pile I leave on my counter
SegFaultX: If you have trouble with spending why not get another account with a different bank and use 1 to hold money you don't want to spend and the other for spending instead of holding cash?
antiboysuper: Great advice, I should do this
CyCoCyCo: Easy way is to just put some money in a savings account at the same bank or in a separate HYSA account at another company.
Hobywony: Isn't HYSA a misnomer?
CyCoCyCo: In what way?
I mean, American yield are quite low. But much higher than the regular savings accounts. Regular savings is 0.1% or 0.2%, HYSA rates are 1%-1.5% nowadays.
| 6 | 46.333333 | |
1656624791 | 1656626998 | t3_vojioe | t5_2to41 | 31 | Few_Television8130: TIFU going to a dubstep concert thinking it was trance, and taking to many edibles
# TIFU going to a dubstep concert thinking it was trance, and taking to many edibles
📷
This all started a month ago when i wanted to do something nice for my GF. She loves trance and has gotten me into over the years. However since I just kinda know this music through her i made the error that Dubstep was the same thing. So I book a random concert thats "electronic music" thinking they are all the same. We get to the concert and before that we decided to buy so THC gummies. We both smoke very rarlying and like it. Now most of the time gummies dont do much for me so I take 3, she takes 1 and begs me for one more so i guess 2 and 3 isnt to much. But then we decided to split one more in half.
We walk to the concert and the opening acts are fine and my legs are starting to feel a little something. By the time the main act opened I was super paranoid and my stomach was killing me. Then the beat drops. I tell you I was TERRIFFIED. So many noises and stuff not in any pattern it felt like a machine was inside my soul and was trying desperatly to get out. My GF was even worse! She looked like she was about to cry and both our mouths were like the Sahara dessert. But we couldnt leave because we drove there and nither of us is ok to drive home.
Then she becomes convinced cops are following us and theirs a sting operation just for us since were high (also its legal recreationally where we did it lamo) and I'm trying my absolute best to convince her that she is just being paranoid. BUT she doesnt stop and then i seen a girl walk past us and brush her hair, my stupid mind thinks "OH shit! Thats an undercover cop and the hair brushing is how they let other cops know to follow the people" so fuck, now Im paranoid. We cant even talk to each since its sop loud so we really have to scream and our mouth have no moisteur what so ever.
Any way I got a lyft and we went back home then rested 2hrs and went back to the veneu to get her car since it wasnt the best of neighborhoods, 100 dollars gone. All was well but ill never do edbiles outside of my house. lesson learned
&#x200B;
TL:DR Took too many edbiles, gf thought cops were after us. Spent hours terrified in a dubstep concert thinking it was trance.
Spectralcolors78: I ate two extremely strong brownies before the 12/30/97 Phish show at MSG. I spent the first set convinced that everyone in attendance was planning to kill me. So fucked up I couldn't even talk to the people next to me. LOL Awful!
Few_Television8130: Hahahahah!!!!! Yes omg she's was convinced half the audience were trying to arrest us. I tried to fight the paranoia but her tell me plus the hair brushing I feel deep down the rabbit hole
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1656625990 | 1656627945 | t3_vojz2z | t5_2to41 | 3 | My-cat-made-me-do-it: TIFU By telling my father I didn’t want him here
So, this all started with my having a cold.
He told me to take a Covid test, I was in the process of taking one and he kept talking to me and telling me what to do, when i had the directions right in front of me. I was trying to be calm, but it probably came off as straight angry and condescending, I said - not a direct quote, but same intent - “I have the directions right in front of me, I would like to do this on my own.”
He proceeds to say something along then lines of “Watch your fucking mouth” (Edit: I asked him why he was cursing at me here) so I start breathing heavy - trying to calm myself down. That’s what i do, take deep breaths, and the sound was amplified due to my stuffy nose. I was straining to breath properly because I was starting to cry and my chest was hurting, so it sounded shaky as well.
He got pissed at me for “huffing and puffing”
It kept going back at forth - him antagonizing, me retaliating, it eventually got to the point where I said “This is why i hate when your home.”
And to quote something I said in the past, he said “Yeah you want me dead off in the dessert right?”
(Obligatory I said this because he has been physically abusive in the past, and is currently very very emotionally abusive. He’s a “Gaslighting narc” according to my mother)
I said in response that I never actually wanted him dead (I said it out of frustration and anger), and I just wanted him gone.
He - understandably - went silent for a while, and eventually stood up absolutely livid - once again, understandably - saying that he was going back to work (he spends the night at his work every once in a while to save gas), and he wasn’t about to stay in the same house as someone who doesn’t want him here.
I understand what I said was absolutely wrong, and I should have kept it to myself. I understand I should have been more careful of my tone, as well as what I was saying. And I’m prepared to apologize to him when he inevitably comes home.
Ig I’ll update when he does.
TL;DR, told my father I didn’t want him here, haven’t apologized yet, led to him (understandably) leaving out of anger, and I’m not sure when he’s coming back.
Edit: **Update**, he came back to drop off food for my sister and then wheeled around and left again. I wasn’t even able to say “Hey dad” :/
DoIKnowYouHuman: Oh to be a teen, guessing you’re the oldest child too…irrespective you seem like you have your head screwed on properly, keep trying to do things yourself, but equally show him you need him sometimes. It’s not always easy being a parent, it’s not always easy being their child, hell sometimes it’s just impossible to be a human
My-cat-made-me-do-it: I’m the youngest, 17 while my sister is turning 19 this august
DoIKnowYouHuman: Damn that’s gonna be a tense house with all those hormones lol
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1656626327 | 1656744808 | t3_vok3n7 | t5_2to41 | 40,599 | lexi0917: TIfU by accidentally tumble drying my cat.
TIFU by accidentally tumble drying my cat.
So I'll start by saying that I have an awesome pair of noise cancelling headphones that I wear when doing chores around the house and they work well...like really well.
I'm jamming out unloading the dishwasher and remember I have some laundry to fold and more to wash. So I go to the dryer and had done a load of bedding that was dry but still in the dryer. I decide I'm going to fluff everything up and get out wrinkles before I fold everything. I close the dryer drawer and start the dryer.
Now thankfully I have two cats and see the other one standing in the laundry room immediately looking very scared. Puffed out fur but she won't run away like she usually would when startled. She's just looking at the dryer and back at me, back to the dryer, back at me, still supremely puffed up.
I think maybe the dryer is scaring her and she needs to use the litter box which is right next to the dryer. Sometimes if there's change or something left in a pocket rattling in the dryer she doesn't like it. So I turn off the dryer like "ok you can use it now but she doesn't go, she still is just standing there looking all puffy.
This is when I take my headphones off and I hear something....in the dryer. I open it and cat #2 comes bolting out. He had decided at some point to take a nap on the bedding in the dryer and I closed the poor baby in there and started the dryer.
This all happened in the span of maybe 10-15 seconds before I turned it off and thankfully was unharmed and got lots of treats and extra snuggles and I feel like a monster. My other cat is a hero, she got my attention and legit saved his fucking life. I am so grateful to her and so happy nothing worse happened.
TL;DR Check your dryer (or any appliance for that matter) for cats before you start them. No cats were seriously harmed.
Edit: cat tax for those asking
[Mr. Amos ](https://imgur.com/gallery/f4JbOpS) the one who took a tumble
Baby [Gurgle Gurgle ](https://imgur.com/gallery/EdST6cJ) the hero
phunkydroid: LPT: If you have cats, never leave the dryer open and check it before turning it on.
ladymorgahnna: Same for dishwasher
PoopLogg: Isn't your dishwasher in the way of routine house travel when left open?
dovalus: Ever been to a first generation Asian American household? Dishwasher is not for washing dishes, it is a large drying rack and is always fucking open so you can bang your damned leg on it while you're getting a glass of water.
proxyproxyomega: this is why I also always check the oven before turning it on at my parents place. they use it to store pots and pans.
graboidian: > this is why I also always check the oven before turning it on at my parents place.
I'm soooooo glad you didn't say you would check it for cats.
proxyproxyomega: no, they're kept in the pantry
OverdoneAndDry: You guys don't refrigerate your cats?
CunnyMaggots: When Purl was a kitten, the little twerp climbed into the fridge and was in there for a good hour before we found him. He was happy as a clam, with no idea he could have actually died. Purl is a beautiful cat, but all his brain cells went to beauty; he's about as smart as a rock... lol.
OverdoneAndDry: Lol is he orange by any chance?
/r/OneOrangeBraincell
Also, your username is horrifying. Well done
CunnyMaggots: He is not... lol. He's a seal point with a white tuxedo. A very fancy looking cat. I wish I had a big, dumb, fluffy, orange cat in my little clowder, but I do not. Purl, two Voids that are nearly identical, and a standard issue black and white tux.
And thank you! 😊
OverdoneAndDry: I had a big dumb orange fluffball for awhile, but he lives with my dad now, since he's always been mostly an outside cat and I moved into an apartment while my dad has a bunch of land.
[Oscar is a total idiot](https://i.imgur.com/hhJNecO.jpg) but he thinks he's a jaguar. To be fair, he does excel at killing. (in that pic, he tried running inside when I went out, and got stuck between the doors)
CunnyMaggots: Aww he's very handsome! I get the leaving a cat behind because they're better adapted to there. If I moved out tomorrow, I would leave Tot and Tuxi with my mom and take Mickey and Purl with me. Tot is 100% my mom's cat and he almost never leaves her room. Tuxi is his sister, and she's kind of a big meanie to Mickey, and she doesn't like how hard Purl plays, but Mick and Purl are great together.
OverdoneAndDry: Yeah it wasn't a hard decision to leave him with my dad. He'd be totally miserable as an apartment cat. I miss that lunatic, but he's happy where he is. Now I have Phoebe, long haired princess who is terrified of the outdoors. Occasionally she'll get up the nerve to escape, then immediately hide under a bush and wait for me to come get her.
Thinking about adopting the tuxedo stray that's been hanging around, but I suspect Phoebe would never forgive me. I basically adopted the stray anyway, leaving out food and water for him and giving him some love when I see him.
CunnyMaggots: Lol I swear they have no idea what they're getting into sometimes! Cat runs out door, sees how big outside is... help me!
OverdoneAndDry: Lol for sure. And honestly, I totally sympathize.
CunnyMaggots: Yeah I'm 41 and its still big and scary out there!
OverdoneAndDry: Lol same. Hooray for anxiety!
| 19 | 2,136.789474 | |
1656627258 | 1656632157 | t3_vokgtd | t5_2to41 | 17 | FrostyLace11: TIFU by talking to the girl I’m really interested in
So, I was talking to the girl I’m kinda dating, kinda not about 2-3 hours ago on Facetime. Everything was going well at first when we started talking about her bedroom toys. First she showed me a 7 inch dildo which she said she really enjoyed, then after she pulled out another slightly smaller dildo which she said is also really good.
Now to the fuck up, when she pulled out the smaller dildo, she described it as “really small but still enjoyable”. My penis is smaller than both of those dildos by a significant amount and now I can’t get help but feel inadequate about my manhood.
Tldr: girl I’m kinda dating kinda not showed me a dildo which she described as super small when my own penis is even smaller than that.
So I really don’t know what else to pit here but since TIFU wants me to have that minimum character limit, I’m putting this here. Anyways, hopefully I get over this soon because there really isn’t anything I can do about my whole situation haha.
xOkamiyokai: Oh boohoo, gonna be real with you here, most dildos are bigger than the average dick. Get over it. Learn some foreplay and how to use what you got, and hell whip out one of her toys while you're going to town and give her some two for one action. Getting butthurt over the size of a dilod is ridiculous
iHATEPEOPLE_com: Just a random thought. Most women apparently prefer average sized dicks so why are most dildos way above said average size ?
xOkamiyokai: I mean one of the easier answers is it needs to be larger to grip it to use it, but it also is easier to stimulate the gspot when more "full". Not to say if you know what you're doing you can't do it with small or average size, just the bigger is easier to do it
*edit spelling
iHATEPEOPLE_com: Thanks for answering what was probably the weirdest question I ever asked on reddit
| 5 | 3.4 | |
1656627609 | 1656652113 | t3_voklhe | t5_2to41 | 11 | footinmouth01: TIFU by telling my boss that I find the work boring.
Throwaway because I'm an idiot and because my main account has too much juice. Also, TIFU happened a few days ago but we'll pretend it was today.
I haven't been doing well at work and I've been struggling to meet the targets. There's a lot of reasons for this. I've been aware about my performance and have been working on my issues, but it's been hard. So when my boss had a talk with me, I of course didn't say everything, but I said enough to make a fool of myself. I told my boss that I find the work boring because it's too repetitive. I was trying not to say that but my brain just couldn't come up with a better thing to say or a better way to say the truth and when I'm nervous, my brain loves to make me do regretful things.
So now, I not only have poor work performance, but I also insulted my job, and worsened my impression. Duck.
About the work targets: I'm trying. She did tell me that even if it's boring, I have to show that I can meet or exceed targets if I want to move on to a new challenge or something more exciting. That's of course true and I don't know why I didn't remember that until now. Thankfully, that's given me a bit more motivation. But I've already done too much damage.
TL;DR I was too honest.
Psykhar: Couple of weeks ago I told my manager I was bored and now I just got a $3 pay increase and a new role with a bit more diversity. Truly lucky timing on my behalf as the guy doing that role is leaving today....... So good luck man
zedsdead79: wow, a whole $3/hr.......amazing. I'd be looking for a new job because i'd be totally insulted.
DoIKnowYouHuman: I’m guessing they mean per hour, no one is stupid enough to think that such a change per month or annum is worth celebrating. But per hour it really adds up
Psykhar: Yea per hour
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1656632268 | 1656681693 | t3_vom9y0 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by not doing a cheer stunt right even if it’s my first stunt?
[deleted]
BeneficialName9863: Cheerleading is one if the most demanding sports, I box and played American football but when we did a training swap for a week, all of us struggled, the cheerleaders made fun of us for how much less painful our sport was.
Practice and train for the sport, not whatever wierd clique stuff is happening. You're an athlete first and performer second. I moved from fullback to D line and it was like a different sport, I messed up loads in training. Do other stuff to supplement your training (roller skating is hard to beat for the Ballance and leg strength of cheer)
Idkwhattodolol53: Thank you!
BeneficialName9863: Welcome, it's a sport that doesn't get the respect It deserves, I played in England (university league).
I coach boxing now and I haven't stopped learning or improving. You're way too young to be hard on yourself about practice performance. Focus on fundamentals and basics. They feel boring when you've got some skills and want to push them but if you are serious about it, they pay off in a few years when you surpass the people who just got it first time because they have deep rooted bad habits to unlearn and plateau.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1656633852 | 1656886298 | t3_vomt2c | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU by going out with the CEO's daughter
[deleted]
Thatagataa: Hey my man, this might be a wild take but I think its very important to check it out. There is this thing, literal translation from german would be 'pathologic intoxication'. Either when you drink for a long time or when sth happens to your brain you only need a tiny amount of alcohol to have a huge reaction, dizziness, violent behavior towards others, and amnesia. Meaning you have a drink, feel dizzy/weird, hit her drunkenly, completely forget about it 10min later.
This sounds almost like a stereotypical case to me. Please OP go see a doctor and describe what happened to you, ask them to check if your brains all goody.
THO0TH: That is a very good advice unfortunately I have a good memory and I remember the whole thing so I would know if there is a piece of it missing. And that would not explain why she accompanied me to the bus if I hit her and I was completely sober when I ate with my relative which was max 30min after leaving her place
Thatagataa: No offense man, but experiencing amnesia due to pathological intoxication cannot be remembered. Literally noone does, your brain fills in the blanks. (Actually there is tons of evidence that our brains dont even remember correctly when we are sober).
She might have accompanied you because she was rightfully worried.
Sober up time is extremely quick for some people as you did not take in a lot of alcohol. I am not saying it has to be like this, but it might well be.
THO0TH: Well if she continues to push the accusations, I will get checked, just in case. Thank you !
| 5 | 7.6 | |
1656642399 | 1656644159 | t3_vopmsw | t5_2to41 | 262 | Similar_Perception_5: TIFU by wearing a halter dress that ties in the back
I recently bought a cute halter dress that is a nice shade of pink that complements my skin tone. So I wear this dress to a seafood restaurant where I decide that I'm going to go ham on the Pinot Grigio and thoroughly enjoy my food. Once the check is paid I get up and walk out to the car, that's when I notice a man glance, and fully turn his torso around to look at me. I don't think much of it.
It isn't till after I make it to my car that I notice the halter dress has come untied. Now thankfully I was wearing a cardigan, but my nipple was poking out in-between the cardigan and the halter dress. I'm not sure how many people saw, but I tucked my boob back in, and sat in the backseat the entire car ride mortified.
Also, apologies in advance for any typos. Still a little tipsy.
TLDR; I wore a halter dress that tied in the back and it came untied during dinner. Didn't realize my nipple was poking out till much later.
Rhinosaurus_Rex86: Oof could have been worse tho!
Similar_Perception_5: It really could have, perhaps it was discreet enough to not offend?
Rhinosaurus_Rex86: Likely, who did you go with? Why didn’t they say anything
Similar_Perception_5: I think everything fell out when I got up to leave. They were in front of me, so it's likely they may not have seen 😅
| 5 | 52.4 | |
1656643120 | 1656644313 | t3_vopvgc | t5_2to41 | 15 | antonwiener: TIFU By masterbaiting in the dark
[removed]
Abreadslice: I fucking gagged at this and im gonna start checking from now on
antonwiener: Yeah apparently ants really like 🥜
| 3 | 5 | |
1656647544 | 1656669454 | t3_vorab4 | t5_2to41 | 207 | MrLuigiMario: TIFU: my elderly mother found a video of my masterbating
This DID happen today.
25 years ago I found my first video porn. I was about 15 and it was a totally different world then than today. We'd swap VHS tapes of porn and jack off when our parents were asleep.
With my teenage wisdom I thought videoing me jacking off at close range would be fun. Not sure why, or what I'd do with it, but out came my bushy mini-twix and I hit record.
My mom and I shared a closet so I couldn't keep my tape in there so I put it on the large VHS rack we had in the basement. My parents never watched movies and my sister didn't really, either.
Over time I forgot the tape ... Until today.
My elderly parents are selling their house and so are doing a deep clean. No one has touched this VHS rack in 25 years. I came to find out there were a few home videos on the VHS rack so instead of trashing all the VHS tapes like a normal person, my mom decided to go through them all, one by one, to save anything that we might want.
Today my mom brought over a box of some old stuff including tshirts, some sports medals, and one single whacking video.
Tl;Dr I filmed myself jacking off 25 years ago and forgot about the tape and my mom found it and gave it back to me today
S_A_R_K: Did you watch it?
Muninwing: Who still has a vcr?
S_A_R_K: OP's mom apparently. I'm wondering if she taped over it with her flicking the bean
OkVolume1: That would be a dominant move.
| 5 | 41.4 | |
1656650937 | 1656669511 | t3_vosbad | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU By having sex with a girl
[deleted]
NaditzuKokoro: Sounds like some red flags to me. Doesn't want to be with you but also doesn't want you to be with anyone else.
Avionax: Thing is i don't want the other girl, i want her.
ColdcashNZ: I think u missed the part about the red flags.
But heah make pain your friend and sleep with misery.
Avionax: Yeah red flags i know, but this is the first girl i actually fell for after i got the "we need a break" from my ex 10 months ago.
ColdcashNZ: I get it man thats why I added the 2nd line.
&#x200B;
Theres always a possibility things will work out. But well yeh.
| 6 | 3.666667 | |
1656652945 | 1656695675 | t3_vosw2f | t5_2to41 | 221 | PhillyxWeb: TIFU By getting yelled at by a bike thief, while I was lifeguarding.
I am a young lifeguard (15m), and I lifeguard at a outdoor pool. I usually bike down to work since its a 2 mile ride. I don't have a bike lock for my bike, people are usually kind in my town, but we do get a jerk or two. I haven't had a bike lock for 5 years with this bike, so I didn't figure to buy one now. So I just put it on the bike rack right outside the outdoor pool.
While I was guarding at the baby pool, I saw a kid riding a bike that looked like mine, I have seen someone who had a bike exactly like mine in town, so I just hoped it was the case. This kid although, comes in the pool often, and usually has a hoverboard, he also causes a lot of trouble. So when my rotation was over, I asked my head guard (18f) if I can check if my bike is gone. I am no one to freak out unless I really need to, its why I am a decent lifeguard. So I walked over, and as you probably guessed, my bike was gone. I told my head guard and she called and told my coach/boss. She told me to file a report to the police, so before I make that decision I check one more time.
While I was checking, I saw the same kid with my bike. I started recording and walked over, I'm not gonna lie, I was mad. I guessed I looked mad too, because I said hi to a kid staring and he bursted into tears. I go up to the kid and I said "Yo, is that your bike?" The kid was frozen in fear, and said that a kid he doesn't know said that he could borrow his bike (my bike). I smiled because the story sounds fake, and I then asked for his first and last name, he gave it and I got on my bike and started to leave. He said sorry and I said "Its okay, I guess."
You would expect this to be over, but it takes a HUGE turn. When biking back to the pool house, I hear a guy say "Maybe put a lock on it next time." Which one, showed that the kid probably stole it, and two, pushed me over the edge. I was already mad and this sent me over, while biking I said "Maybe try not stealing crap!" He said, "What?!" As I kept biking. I put the bike outside the pool house and tell the head guard with is now a (17f) who we will call Abby, that I got the bike. While I went to get the bike, the guy who told me to put a lock on it, comes through the doorway screaming, and told me I have to come with him because hes a adult. Abby and I are friends, and she did not like him yelling. She said,"(My name) your staying right here bud." I had to get my bike and she said okay. I went out to get it and he blocked the doorway, grabbed my bike(which I was holding onto) and pulled it towards him. This guy is at least 6'3 and 300lbs, i'm 5'5 and 130lbs. which means he could most likely murder me. Although I get ready to fight, but then Abby sees this and says through the walky talky, "We may need EMS, there is a man about to assault (My name)." He hears and backs off, he then starts talking to Abby, and still blocking the doorway. I pushed with my bike through, and this is when he realized im a lifeguard, I put on my lifeguard shirt after putting my bike inside. He changes tone, and acts calm to Abby. The other head lifeguard from before, who we will call Sam, comes in. She says,"You found it?" and I said some kid took it. The guy says the kid didn't take it, and I said I got it on recording so you can try to lie if you want. He keeps with his story, and I sound mad, and I am mad. So Sam tells me that Im working to remind me to act professional. I went around the corner to get my equipment and the guy tells me to "go away", but I don't listen. The guy then changes his story and says that its a misunderstanding, and I went out and changed with the lifeguard.
He walked out the pool house outside the gate, and he had his head down, probably because Abby said some mean stuff, knowing her. After I went back in Sam, who was annoyed, had to file a incident report. The mom of the kid that stole my bike called the pool, and said if her kid could apologize or what was going to happen from this point forward, such as cops. I'm not a bad kid, I know that you may not believe that, but I always try to do the right thing. This kid is in 7th grade, and his mom probably already punished him, so I let it go and just told the mom its fine, and that all is forgiven. Sam was annoyed because she was going to be late to something due to the incident report. I said sorry to everyone involved, Sam, Abby, my boss/coach, etc. Another coworker, we will call Jean, said I wasn't in any trouble, but my coach may ask me about it. My coach didn't respond to my apology over my text, not a good sign. Today was horrible, also because TechnoBlade died, which also sucked to learn. I ask you to respond with one answer, Did I do the right thing? If not what should I have done.
TL;DR I talked back to a bike thief's neighbor, so he almost hit me and yelled at me, and ordered me because he "was a adult", when I was putting my bike in a safe place, which made a whole problem.
ttystikk: You were the adult in this situation.
PhillyxWeb: I appreciate that
ttystikk: Sadly, you should still buy a bike lock, because other people can't adult no matter how old they are.
It's an important lesson, best learned now before it costs you bruises or property.
PhillyxWeb: Yeah Im buying 1 tomorrow, it just sucks because you shouldn’t need to buy one.
GuardMarmot: Tip because I see locked bikes missing the front tire (or just the front tire locked and not the bike): Get a decent-sized U-lock and put it through both the bike frame itself *and* the front tire.
daemoen: No. Ulock around seat tube and through rear wheel, cable goes around through the front wheel and attaches both ends to the U lock. It is far cheaper replacing a front wheel/hub than replacing rear wheel, hub/fw, cassette, etc.
GuardMarmot: Hmm. My reasoning is that I've never seen a stolen rear wheel regardless of whether it's locked, only stolen front wheels. But that might depend on how common bike theft is in general or just be chance.
daemoen: Depends on numerous things, including bike value and component value. On a high end bike in a major theft ring area (like here in the Bay Area), the components on the rear wheel and even the rear wheel itself can hold a pretty significant value.
Proper locking is 1 of 2 ways, 1 requires 2 unlocks, one for going around seat tube through the rear triangle and around the bike rack or whatever it's being attached to. The second one would go through the front tire and the main frame body (if it's big enough and there is enough room)
The second uses the cable method I posted earlier
:)
GuardMarmot: Makes sense. I haven't had cause to park in a very high-theft area nor have I ever used a particularly expensive bike, so my locking standards are a bit lower.
daemoen: That's fair too, a lot of people forget that what 'snobs' (sometimes even me) think of as bad bikes, the rest of the world sees as perfectly fine and normal bikes.
Biking is a very vast vast world sport all onto it's own. You ever feel like learning more or talking shop, you'll find many of us over on r/cycling (road/gravel bikers mostly), r/bicycling is good for anyone/everyone, r/bikewrench is the best place to ask for help with mechanical problems, etc.
See ya round :)
| 11 | 20.090909 | |
1656660927 | 1656663396 | t3_vov1us | t5_2to41 | 4 | buniax: TIFU by getting back into gaming
I just got back into gaming after taking a break from gaming due to other things snd just didn’t feel like gaming at all up until 2 weeks ago I got bored and decided to turn on my ps5 and load up some Star Wars battlefront 2 at first it was hard but as i eased back into I think this is where it began, Id play at least nightly and its unbelievable how frustrated id get id die and start cussing and when more bullshit things would happen id just go off the rail, I noticed I was kinda addicted. Until tonight I managed to get a hero, Han Solo and pretty much immediately fucking died after saving up my points. I was getting shot from every damn possible angle, it was bullshit. I got so mad I wanted to break my controller but knew id regret that so I grabbed a ball and threw it to the wall. As i was throwing, it my ps5 controller slipped out of my hand started banging against the walls and it was unbelievable the amount of shit that just happened to me within a minute, I had fucking regretted that. I got worried My ps5 controller could’ve been broken but wasnt luckily. I tried playing but kept on dying so I got pissed and deleted that damn game and got off. I cussed my way upstairs and ended up stubbing my toe I got fucking mad, then ended up here after calming down. Im now realizing I might possibly have anger issues.
TL;DR got mad at a video game and almost accidentally breaking my ps5 controller and stubbing my toe while realizing I need a break
KittikatB: I'm not saying this to pile on our kick you when you're down, but you definitely have anger issues and you need to get help for them. I don't know how old you are, but that response is excessive, and that kind of anger could lead to you hurting someone in the future. You need to find healthy ways to deal with your anger and learn to calm yourself before you end up hurting someone and potentially facing consequences that could follow you for years.
buniax: I typically am a calm and composed person, but I swear its only certain video games that rile me uo like this, I usually think before I act but with video games since its on going it can just pile ip on you. While I do realize I did get out of control. I knew enough not to throw my controller like a dumbass instead it slipped lol. The Ball I threw was a size 1 soccer ball. So it really didn’t do anything. But yeah I do realize I can get verbally out of control. I am 16
KittikatB: As someone who has raised a stepchild with anger issues, it's only video games *now*. So deal with it now, before it becomes more. Don't minimise it as "it really didn't do anything". You might not have damaged something this time, but if you don't get control of your anger, one day that ball, that controller, that wall? They're going to be your spouse, or your child. And if that day comes, you'll wish you'd dealt with it when it "really didn't do anything".
| 4 | 1 | |
1656662308 | 1656663240 | t3_vovdtq | t5_2to41 | 5 | gaouba: TIFU by being curious about a stupid meme (was kinda funny tho)
Warning: the following content can be not suitable for everyone (like me). That's why I put it NSFW.
It first happened two days ago when I was browsing my reddit feed before going to bed. I do that regularly as I wanna see funny memes and see what's going on in the world with news subreddits and other stuff. At some point I stumbled upon a meme from the "distressing memes" subreddit, which I am not subsc to. It was black and white footage of some person with some kind of white robe, convulsing with a bloody mouth and spitting what seemed like blood. I wont post the link as I don't wanna see the footage again, but the caption was kinda funny. It was something like "when your captors finally give you food but it contains [something] and you have that gene that makes it taste like soap". At first the footage scared me and schoked me, but as a good person I hid in the comment to see what the heck was going on. Turns out it was from a movie called Begotten and the part was about a character referred as "God killing himself". I read a little about the movie that night and it really seemed like the kind of movie I can't watch because it seemed gory and fucked up. I called it a day, still seeing the footage in my head but was able to sleep.
Fast forward the next day, yesterday, around 11 am. I was listening to music on my computer. Then, for some reason I decided to type the name of the movie on google. I blame my curiosity, more specifically morbid curiosity. I watched a bit of a video explaining more about the movie. Then I succumbed to my ultimate fear: I watched the movie (on YouTube, it's available but age restricted). Let me tell you: it's fucked up. It's all black and white (done on purpose) and grainy. It's a "silent film", no dialogue but sound effects are added, sometimes uncanny. I'm literally shaking while writing this as I get flashback from the movie. I skipped a lot of parts just to see what's going on and then stopped watching. The rest of the day was fine, until the evening.
The "theme" of the movie (if you can call that a theme) is about god and life and... idk. It's fucked up. But it has some religious theme in the background. Well, yesterday evening we went to my aunt's place because Sunday is my sister's birthday and since my aunt is her godmother and she is turning 30, my aunt and uncle decided to buy a cake. We went there and in the meantime one of my uncle showed up. We ate cake and ice cream, all while talking about usual stuff: how are you? How's work/school, etc. Then idk why but they started to talk about some politics and religion. My family is quite religious, not excessive but they believe in God and Jesus and everything. They talked about religion and how fucked up the world is right now. Well, I don't need to say that this+the stupid movie started haunting me from that moment.
When we came back home, it was bed time for me. I went to bed and was seeing all that stupid imagery, haunted by both the movie and what my uncles and my aunt said. I tried to keep myself calm, browsed some reddit. Then try to sleep. I was able to sleep for some time, like 3 hours of weird dreams I don't remember well. Now, it's almost 4 am, fully awake, writing this and traumatized by what happened in the last one and a half days. Idk what to do...
Tl;dr I search about a stupid uncanny meme and watched some parts of the movie it comes from. Now I can't sleep and see flashbacks of the movie, shaking and scared alone in my bed. Great!
Leningradite: So, pretty effective horror then. Maybe try to think of it as a triumph of special effects rather than a fucked up narrative/movie? From the Wikipedia article it sounds like a pretty tough watch, so I get that it made you so uncomfortable.
gaouba: Yeah it was effective to say the least. I get what you mean, although it's still hard to put aside the weird ambiance and uncanny imagery and sounds of the movie. I guess time will help.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1656663126 | 1656665343 | t3_vovl9i | t5_2to41 | 12 | throw_a_way0009: TIFU by smoking weed
So I'm in a FWB type situation, we haven't really discussed the boundaries yet which makes me a bit on edge, as I don't know what level intimacy is allowed and I'm quite new to this. Anyway I went over to this guy's place yesterday, basically on fuck date, nothing more nothing less. So we're done doing our thing (which we're good at I might add) and after some pillowtalk type of moment we join a houseparty downstairs. Now, again, I'm a little on edge and I don't know if I'm overstaying my welcome, if he feels on edge as well, if I should leave, if I can stay? I didn't know anyone at the party and everybody kind of knew why I was there. My friend sleeps around so I'm def not tye first girl they see coming from the stairs lol. Despite all of that I end up staying, since there was a cute concert and I liked the music and I'm just horrible at leaving. It all seems fine really and I start bantering with other people. At some point my friend and some other people start dancing and ofcourse I need to join, my extroverted self just does NOT want to leave. Now this is when the mistake happened: I take a few puffs of a passing joint, and boy lemme tell you, I should NEVER smoke weed. It's horrifying. I'm horrifying. First I get super excited and experience a nice high, so that's fun, but THEN oh my god do I become paranoid.
So the party is in full swing but that feeling of overstaying my welcome keeps creeping up on me so finally -very suddenly- I say that it's time for me to go. Now, my friend doesn't seem to want me to go, the others don't want me to go, and I don't actually want to go but I just can't think clearly at this point.. my friend tells me to stay over and I become even MORE paranoid and tell him I'm afraid he is gonna wanna fuck again but I won't want to and he'd insist Yada Yada Yada...
fuck me, it was a bad scene. I'm rattling and mumbling all of this crazy insecure shit and this is literally the second time we fucked, first time we party together.... like I barely know him, Jesus Christ. So he finally says you know what, you're right it's better you leave. Soo I leave his place feeling like I just took a big crap on his carpet and while I was so worried to overstep his boundaries I ended up being a toxic little bitch to a guy I barely know.
I ruined both our nights just because of my paranoid weed crap. I should NEVER smoke weed and probably do some retrospection, cause this was fucking toxic. I'm not sure if I should apologize, acknowledge how shitty that was or just leave him be... but I fear there's no recovering from this
HELP: Is it too late guys? Should I let this one go?
Tl;dr: I smoke weed at my recent FWB's house party and end up having a paranoid toxic little episode before leaving his place.
Morpheusismybrother: Apologise, try to talk to him. Worst case: he doesn't want to listen and doesn't care.
Best case: it helps him understand and he forgives you.
You won't know, if you don't try.
If you really messed up a badly as you think, it won't make anything worse, so you have nothing to lose.
throw_a_way0009: Makes sense, thanks!
| 3 | 4 | |
1656663747 | 1656682590 | t3_vovqrh | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by potentially ruining my Professors Research
[deleted]
Mrhat070: He must have back up/extra samples or something.
>I am working with samples that took years to obtain from a very specific, hard to access location,
If this is the case he wouldnt have put an undergrad on the job. If he doesnt have grad students or a research technician he wouldnt have made somebody do the analysis without practice/proper trainning/test run. Cause it sounds like this one was your first attempt at doing this.
Mundane-Cost4076: Bruh I hope
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1656664754 | 1656666248 | t3_vovzfj | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying accounts online
[deleted]
Setzael: Wow. So you got into something clearly against the TOS and you're claiming Riot is the one with the fatal flaw?
rekzy-: i fucked up with selling, but i am not the only one who sells accounts. i just said that they should not have this system where someone gets hold of that email(or just knows the name) and answers the birth date and gets access toan account that is not theirs.
Setzael: That system is there so people can recover accounts that get stolen. Don't hate a system that just also happens to make it harder for you to do something that the company itself is against in its TOS.
| 4 | 1 | |
1656666235 | 1656667632 | t3_vowcfs | t5_2to41 | 59 | Dangermouse1011: TIFU by ignoring pain in my balls for an entire day and losing one.
This happened about 20 years ago while I was at college. I woke in the morning as usual, but had a dull ache in my right testicle. I figured it was nothing and went began my day. The pain grew as the day went on but I continued to ignore it, I had had similar pain when I was younger but it had gone within a few hours.
In the evening I went to bed but couldn't sleep, the pain was unbelievable. At 2am I woke up and phoned my mum in tears telling her she had to come get me. Mum and dad came to get me, took me to A&E where I was put onto a ward straight away.
After 2 days of examinations of my now huge testicle, the told me I had testicular torsion. I was told there was nothing the could do for me because I had left it so long, I was given something strong for the pain and sent home to rest when my testicle shrank, It was not dead effectively.
TL:DR I ignored pain in my balls for a day, went through the worst pain I've ever felt and now only have one ball. If you have any pain guys, get it checked out!
wiffleplop: Nearly had that too, but went to the doctor and got referred. Ended up with an op that was kinda agony, but still have two, and a kid. Close call.
Dangermouse1011: Good thing you acted quickly. I had the possibly the same operation 5 years ago on the other.
wiffleplop: There’s no pain like ball pain, eh?
Dangermouse1011: No definitely not.
| 5 | 11.8 | |
1656677070 | 1656742737 | t3_voz7rt | t5_2to41 | 9,399 | NotYourTypicalMoth: TIFU by falling asleep when my crush was coming over
Last night, I was going to have a girl over. We’re both in college though, and she lives with her strict parents, and had to sneak out late. So when she finally leaves and is on her way, what do I do? I fall asleep. And yeah, I can use the long week, up at 3:30am excuse, but that’s so stupid. I could’ve just waited for her to get here and slept right? No, apparently not. So I woke up at 6:30am today, realized what I’d done, and just apologized profusely. It’s worth noting that she had to drive 40 minutes to get here, waited outside my place for 30, then had to drive 40 back home. I’m so fucking embarrassed.
She says she isn’t upset, but how can’t she be? We had a camping date planned for tonight and that’s still on, which is a good sign. If anyone has advice on making this up to her, please let me know! I plan on spoiling her today and tomorrow, don’t worry.
TL;DR: Was going to have a girl over (my crush) but fell asleep when she was on her way and kept her waiting. All advice to make it up to her is welcome.
Charming-Ad-809: She’s upset but it’s cool that she still wants to be with you. Just apologize again and then give her something, like flowers. It’s nice to receive flowers
Emergency-Hyena5134: Nobody wants to be with someone who uses the word "crush". Thats shit is beyond cringey.
What normal adult refers to someone they're dating as their crush?
db741: This coming from someone who uses the term "cringe af".
_Jay_Garrick_: He also thinks potheads are addicts lmao, can’t take the fuckin guy seriously at all
IDunnoThatsKindaGay: Wait, serious question, are they not? I haven't had much experience with them but I assumed most were
AllowMe-Please: No. They're not.
I use cannabis every single day for medicinal purposes (pain relief) and you get used to it and can function pretty damn well. Most people don't even know I use it unless they're told because if you're responsible about it, it doesn't really interfere much with daily tasks. It's not physically addictive unlike other substances, either.
However, that doesn't mean that there are people who take it too far. I personally can't understand how since my tolerance is insane and no matter how much I take, I barely feel anything. This isn't how it is for everyone, of course, and there are a minority for whom those minimal addictive properties are too much and they do become addicted - but again, that's a minority.
Edit: I think it's unfair that OP got downvoted for asking whether weed is addictive. Asking honest questions should never be looked down upon and I'm glad that OP asked and got educated. I think downvoting for asking honest questions isn't a very good thing to do as it might discourage people from asking what most would consider silly questions when they're simply ignorant. Good on you, u/IDunnoThatsKindaGay, for asking and willing to listen to the answers. More people should do that.
Undivid3d: >It’s not physically addictive
This is false. From personal experience. I am one of the people you speak of “taking it too far” however. But weed can absolutely get physically addictive. If I don’t smoke I get headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, insomnia. Just all bad.
AllowMe-Please: It's been proven that cannabis has about the same physical addictive properties as chocolate and not as much as coffee. But some people simply react worse than others to it. Again, that's the *physical* properties. It can very much so become mentally addictive for which behaviors can also manifest in the same way
I suppose I should clarify that for *most* it's not addictive and doesn't have nearly the same amount of addicting properties as other drugs.
My best friend also cannot take weed because she's very sensitive to it. It hits her way worse than any other drugs possible (they had to call the ambulance for the last time she smoked and she's not touched it since). She's honestly traumatized by her experience and it's not a trivial one at all. So weed isn't "harmless" to everyone, either.
I'll try to find some sources to back up my claims, but I do want to point out that I'm getting this info directly from research papers (scientific, peer-reviewed) that I'd read a while ago and have remembered that information.
Edit: typo
Undivid3d: I really couldn’t care less what sources or papers you’ve read. I’m telling you. I have a physical addiction to weed. If I don’t smoke I go through withdrawals.
AllowMe-Please: I understand and I never denied that you did. I'm just saying that you're in the minority and all research backs that.
Some people can get physically addicted to chocolate or caffeine, but that doesn't mean that everyone does.
I'm not denying your experience, so I don't understand why you're so defensive about that, I was just trying to explain that your own valid experience isn't typical of most marijuana users. And that just because of your own experience, it wouldn't be accurate to say outright that marijuana is addictive in general - because it's not.
I mean, I could also claim my experience and say "I don't care what you all say, I don't get high off weed so I doubt anyone else does" but that would be incredibly dishonest and inaccurate.
I acknowledge that there are people who experience it differently - like my best friend and yourself. But, again: *most* don't because marijuana simply doesn't have those properties [in huge quantities]. You're most likely simply sensitive to weed, which is okay.
I'm sorry you go through withdrawals, though. I've been through withdrawals for opioids before (I used to be on fentanyl through a pain clinic and there was a time I was stuck in another state and had no access to more until I got home), so that's my own relatable experience but I don't know how similar marijuana vs. opioid withdrawal is. Withdrawals suck big time.
I'm just glad we were stuck in a state where weed was legal because that actually took care of my opioid withdrawals and I could remain sane. I had no idea how effective weed is for opioid withdrawals, but I'm glad I had access to it at the time.
I hope this makes it more clear.
(also, I admit that I think saying "I really couldn't care less what sources or papers [there are]" because of your own experience, is a bit of a dangerous thing to do... you should always look at objective evidence and if your own experience doesn't line up with it, question why and find a reason for it; not just dismiss the research because it doesn't align with your own experience. Bodies are all unique and can process things differently. I can't say "I don't care what research says, drinking alcohol doesn't get you drunk" just because I don't and can't get drunk; I'd have to understand why it is that my own experience is different and realize that I'm an exception to the rule; in the minority - the majority of whom overwhelmingly have different experiences)
Edit: clarification
Undivid3d: I literally already told you I was in the minority. I’m one of the people you talked about originally who take weed too far. I get into weed and eventually get to the point where I’m high before I get out of bed, and remain that way until I go to bed again. I got defensive because I already told you I was a different case and then you replied as if I was a casual user. I’m very familiar with weed and how it affects people. I worked for a dispensary for a long time. Heard a bunch of things. All I was doing was correcting you because you said it wasn’t addictive. But it absolutely can get that way
AllowMe-Please: Well, I apologize because your first message appeared as though you were speaking generally and saying that marijuana is addictive, period.
You said,
>This is false. From personal experience. I am one of the people you speak of “taking it too far” however. But weed can absolutely get physically addictive. If I don’t smoke I get headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, insomnia. Just all bad.
There was no clarification that you were only talking about yourself. It sounded like you were talking about weed in general for everyone. You literally said "this is false", when it's not. It might be false for a very small minority, but not the majority, and I don't think it's correct to just say that without clarifying. You never said this is only your own minor experience but implied that your personal experience is the rule.
I'm not incorrect when I say it's not addictive because it literally isn't as a general rule; only for those of whom break that exception (again, like me and drinking). And I'm saying that because there's proven research that trumps a person's personal experience.
And nowhere did I say that it can't be addictive. You seemed to read a lot more into my comment than what I said. I even had a clarifying statement in my comment making sure that was highlighted. Somehow, you overlooked that and ran with me saying that weed isn't addictive, ever, which I never did as I'm perfectly aware of how it acts.
I only ever said that it wasn't physically addictive like most drugs; its addictive properties are comparable to that of chocolate; this isn't the case for 100% of people; and that it can be addictive to a minority. You just replied saying it's false and then your experience without clarifying that it's unique to you, implying that it's addictive, period. Not true.
It just seems unnecessarily defensive when I never disagreed with you nor denied your experience and in fact gave an example of someone else who also has an unusual experience with weed (that is in no way par for the course). Again: I'd agreed with you in the first place when I'd said that "for *most* it's not addictive" in the original comment before you jumped in claiming it was false.
Undivid3d: Literally said “I am one of the people you speak of taking it too far”. Thought common sense would tell you that means I’m not in majority. Apologies for not realizing you wouldn’t make that connection
AllowMe-Please: Now, I'm genuinely curious... but then what was the point of your comment if you were simply agreeing with me? Starting out just by saying "this is false" implies that... well... it's false. You say it's false and then go on to agree?
It's unfair saying that your unclear statement is a result of me being unable to make a connection.
I simply don't get it. "You're wrong, but here's how what you said is true in my case". I took issue with your statement of "this is false"; not your experience (which I had already acknowledged exists).
Look, you and I both agree, it seems. That's good enough. No need to get snarky.
I hope you have a good day and stay safe. And that you don't experience withdrawals, because they're absolutely dreadful.
Undivid3d: I agreed that I’m not the majority. What you said it still false
AllowMe-Please: ...How?
Undivid3d: You said
>it’s not physically addictive
That’s false.
AllowMe-Please: Oy, vey. I'm done.
Have a good night/day.
Undivid3d: You too
| 20 | 469.95 | |
1656677617 | 1657104320 | t3_voze00 | t5_2to41 | 5,239 | Unusual_Current_9225: TIFU by making my best friend lose all of his money
I 20F have had a friend 20M for the past 5 years now, we always share everything from advice to finances we dated for almost a year but broke up a few months ago and stayed friends. We are both South African he went to study in Western Cape and he Is studying on a bursary and I stayed home to work for my mom's business.
A few months ago my mom had a baby and asked me to babysit for her and she will pay me R50($3) a day since I also have to do everything else around the house along with taking care of the baby. My mom stopped paying me a week after she started and "borrowed" the money I saved up to buy clothes for the baby, she sometimes gives me a portion of the money she owes me but always borrow it back for one thing or the other, it's been over 2 months now and she owes me more than R3000($200)and she promised to pay me back in July.
My friend has been receiving money from his bursary every 3 months for the past 6 months. He is into investing but so far hasn't worked out well for him, I always help him with his investments and the first time the website crashed with most of his money there, it was bad but his bursary still paid for his food so it wasn't that bad. So last month they increased his stipend and included an allowance for food for the next 3 months in it, he asked me to help him invest it a place that will get him a lot of money in a short span of time and I found this website that could triple his money in 2weeks time. I told him to join and he did, he invested all his money in it and the website crashed a week after and he lost everything.
I promised him I would give him all my savings so he can get back home but my mom still hasn't given me my money. Yesterday he texted me from his friend's phone to tell me that he sold both his phone worth over R8000($500) and his school tablet worth over R3000($200) for R800($50) just to afforda bus ticket to get back home, I know his situation is all my fault and I don't know how to deal with this, the situation is stressing me out and I feel so guilty and I wish I could help him but unfortunately I can't.
I know if I try to pressure my mom to give me my money back she will just say she will cancel it and won't give me a dime of so. My mom is very Narcissist and expects every to be done by her own terms and on her own time and she will only pay me when she feels like it.
EDIT:No fortunately this didn't affect our friendship at all he said that he understands its not my fault it was a dumb decision to begin with and he is glad he has my support and hopes we will make it one day, he wanted to invest because he wanted to use the money to start a small business and wanted me to be his business partner so we can work together thus he asked for my advice. We are planning on actually saving anything we both get for the next few years to start a small business
TL;DR - TIFU by making my best friend lose all his money in a bad investment now he had to sell his phone and tablet to get back home
stumpdawg: What is he investing in that a website crash would lose him all his money? That doesn't sound like an investment, that sounds like a scam.
Imafilthybastard: For real, OP seems incredibly naive if he belives there is something that exists that can guarenteed triple your money.
yumirow: In two weeks T_T
NoTeslaForMe: tl:dr; OP is terrible with money and doesn't know what investing is. She needs to stash her money safely so she can tell her mom the money's gone, and needs to learn what investing is so money won't ever truly be gone.
Paulutot: There is a investment that can do it but it involves schedule A drugs and alot of risk. Anything else that tells you that you can receive such a big payout is gambling or a scam. People need to realize that there are no shortcuts that do not involve crime that can make you alot of money fast.
coolelel: There are a bunch of "investments" that can do it
80% of which are illegal
0% of which involves sketchy sites that triple your money
Worldly_Bluejay_5513: Not that “guarentee 80% in two weeks”
shadow120983: 80% of the methods. He said 80% of the methods are illegal. And that no include a sketchy website.
Worldly_Bluejay_5513: Yes Inknow I’m more wanting to know the other 20% that can guarentee that
| 10 | 523.9 | |
1656677561 | 1656678555 | t3_vozddp | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming my car's ac did not work
[deleted]
bowlofjello: 2 years and you never brought it up to someone or tried to get it fixed?????
Familiar_Cry172: I have severe social anxiety and talking to strangers IRL freaks me out, plus I didn't want to feel like a burden to get it fixed since my family doesn't have much money
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1656679006 | 1656685693 | t3_vozu9q | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally doing heroin
[deleted]
PizzaSandwich2020: Here's some advice.
Grow the fuck up.
GoldAnteater1868: Although I wouldn’t take drugs from strangers etc, at that age I was experimenting with drug use (as many others were), just to see what things are like. I don’t think shaming the OP is going to make any change for their life or yours, the lesson learned is don’t take drugs that are from a source you don’t trust ig 🤷🏻♂️
PizzaSandwich2020: Shaming him?
Telling someone to grow the fuck up isn't shaming them,. Its telling them to grow the fuck up.
GoldAnteater1868: The tone with which somebody says “Here’s some advice. Grow the fuck up.” is definitely a harsh one that is likely to be used when shaming people, I agree with the sentiment of your comment. This person is young, impulsive and making some bad decisions but attacking them will just lead to a defensive response instead of one trying to understand and/or make changes.
If somebody tells somebody else to grow the fuck up that’s definitely supposed to make them feel bad, that was the point of my reply
PizzaSandwich2020: He's young, he's going to make mistakes. Sure we all did, but even as a kid most of us had the knowledge and common sense not to be sitting by the river snorting whatever 2 strangers have to offer.
And a harsh tone or a soft tone may have a different delivery but the message and the intent behind it is the same. "What you did was a really, really baaaad, bad idea, you really shouldn't be at that shit"
Of course he's going to get defensive, he's a kid who did an irresponsible thing.
What he does now is more important.
| 6 | 3.333333 | |
1656682559 | 1656683299 | t3_vp10xb | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: Tifu by fingering my girlfriends ass *GROSS*
[deleted]
Heyallo: So you fisted her ass and weren't prepared for the cascade of poop that was gonna come from her poop shoot?
Hilarious!
zGTA: Yes because this isn't our first time 🤦🏻♂️
Heyallo: I mean, you say anal, so one assumes you mean with your egg roll, but fisting, c'mon you had to have an inkling about what was gonna happen once you pulled out of that stretched hole =P
zGTA: Well, it seems i was stupid enough to not thinking about anything except the pleasure and having fun 😂
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1656683286 | 1656688543 | t3_vp19rk | t5_2to41 | 1,150 | [deleted]: TIFU Tipping 150% to an UberEats Delivery Driver
[removed]
ToweringIsle13: Yeah, money that gets passed around between real people is never wasted. You shouldn't think of it as such.
There are plenty of ways to throw money at rich people and big corporations which *is* wasted.
VaultDweller77: Well maybe he's funding this guy's crack addiction, you never know.
Quarkasian: Yeah because rich people don't take drugs
VaultDweller77: How is that relevant to my comment in any way whatsoever?
MXCMLP: How is your first comment relevant in any way whatsoever?
VaultDweller77: >Yeah, money that gets passed around between real people is never wasted.
I was pointing out the flaws in that logic, did you read his comment before replying to mine?
| 7 | 164.285714 | |
1656683802 | 1656708130 | t3_vp1g8x | t5_2to41 | 26 | iimGemini: TIFU by throwing my 14 year old cousin into a wall.
Me, M 19 yo, Now I know I’n automatically the bad guy, but hear me out. We are on vacation with the whole extended family. In the house there is a movie room with about 20 seats total. All of the younger kids (my age and lower) were all playing games in the movie room, I leave the room to use the restroom and my cousin is walking into the room and shoulder checks me. So in retaliation for getting in my way I decided to set a pick on her like in basketball. (if you don’t know what that means, I put my hands to my side and stood in her way).
I then see her arm cock back and throws what can only be described as an uppercut haymaker right to my groin as hard as she could. Now why tf is she doing this? we were just playing, well when this cousin has a history of chasing people with knives, and having to be punished for hurting people more than once it might not be totally out of the blue for her. So in an immense amount of pain I grab her and throw her off of me, as she is going she hits a wall and comes back towards me so I kick her away from me before collapsing through the door of the movie room and swearing profusely at her and crawling out into the hallway.
After informing her mother of the situation (my aunt) she goes and gets the story from her daughter and then my cousins, after the gets the story from my cousins she returns to me to tell me “you think its okay to call my daughter a cunt and a bitch?” “you think its okay to throw her into a wall so hard that the people in the room thinks she cracked her head open?” “don’t apologIze to him, stay away from her” “fuck you anon”
tl;dr my cousin shoulder checked me then uppercutted my nutsack i threw her off of me and swore and now my family is mad at me.
OkVolume1: Yeah. You're an adult male roughousing with a pubescent teenage girl.
Probably need to grow up.
GrindingNeverStops: I mean yeah but you’re just blaming him… smh
OkVolume1: Because he's an adult and his cousin isn't. He's also a man and his cousin isn't.
GrindingNeverStops: Just wondering, what does the fact that he’s a male have to do with it?
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1656683989 | 1656778431 | t3_vp1iii | t5_2to41 | 1,916 | Antifa_Smackdown: TIFU by taking my brother grocery shopping with a blank check
He works at a restaurant and has been eating their food for ten years now. It has made him a bit - his words - chunky. He's trying to lose weight, has lots of college debt, still depressed about our parents dying early, so I thought I'd help him out.
I'm very frugal and make less than him, but he's all I got left in this world, great kid who has never said a bad word about anybody, so I took him grocery shopping for healthy food. He mostly got a bunch of frozen and canned stuff to store for later because this wouldn't be a regular thing, lots of fruit, veggies, deli, no junk food.
The total comes to $104. On the inside I'm like geeze save some for me! On the outside I'm chill like yeah don't worry about it, I got you. I think you know where I'm going with this - my stomach is rumbling, my breakfast is a handful of peanuts, my lunch is also my dinner, which is the McChicken I redeemed for 1500 points. Today was supposed to be payday, but the manager is out today and I don't have DD.
TL;DR - I went hungry so that my brother could eat healthier, and now my paycheck is delayed.
bingold49: 104 sounds like a typical grocery bill. You sound like a good brother (or sister, i guess you never said,) you've earned the right to go raid his fridge or pantry. Get DD setup asap, its the only way to go
LadyBug_0570: It's amazing how fast you can get to that amount with so little groceries to show for it. Especially when you throw in the fresh men, fresh fruits & veggies. You think "there's only 10-15 items in my cart, shouldn't be too much", then look at the total and your heart drops.
But yeah, OP, get direct deposit. It's a beautiful thing.
Dahboo: The meat is the problem, ive filled an entire shopping cart with fresh fruits and veggies for $30-$60 at various locations in Long Island, NY (even in an expensive private community, it was only $60!)
LadyBug_0570: Literally had a conversation on Reddit with someone recently about the rising price of meat, where the cheapest cut of steak in my local supermarket is about $1+/oz.
Now that doesn't sound too bad, except who buys steak by the ounce? So you buy a pound or so and that $17. For one steak. If you're single, that lasts a couple days. If you got kids and a spouse? That's probably a $50 steak.
Chicken and pork is less, but again, unless you're buying one day's worth, you're spending serious money.
Can't speak about seafood since I don't eat it.
_jeremybearimy_: I went to buy ground beef for chili the other day and it was TEN DOLLARS a pound. That’s like a fucking steak. I bought ground turkey instead for less than half the price.
LadyBug_0570: Sounds about right. Just plain ground beef too. Not organic or grass fed.
And a pound of ground beef is like nothing for chili, unless you make single serve to last 2-3 days.
_jeremybearimy_: I live alone so a pound is plenty. But sometimes I’ll throw in a pound of ground pork too. Or I did, before food prices shot through the roof.
LadyBug_0570: I feel like I want your chili recipe.
_jeremybearimy_: Oh it’s real simple/casual, basically just throwing things in and eyeballing. Brown ground meat in Dutch oven with some oil and salt. Once browned, toss in onion (and sometimes diced jalapeño). After a bit, some garlic. Once both those are sweated and looking nice, then I turn down the heat and throw in a few cans of diced or whole tomatoes, whatever’s on hand (if whole, I use a wooden spoon to break them up a bit in the pot). Add two cans of kidney beans. Add some tomato paste. Then I throw in lots of chili powder (like 2-3 tablespoons?), and about half that amount of other spices like garlic powder, oregano, cayenne, cumin, paprika. Salt again if necessary. Then umami additions, like Worcester sauce, cocoa powder, fish sauce, anchovy paste/diced anchovies, more tomato paste if necessary, whatever’s on hand and seems like a good idea. I add small amounts and taste and add more if needed. Then I cover and simmer for an hour or so, really until it is my desired thickness. Serve with shredded cheese, sour cream, and green onion on top. It’s delicious. But even better day 2 or 3.
LadyBug_0570: Sounds delicious!
I pretty much just brown my ground beef with onions and mini sweet peppers (I'm not a fan of spicy) in a Dutch oven pan then throw in canned refried beans and salsa sauce (with seasonings, of course including chili powder but not too much salt... on meds for hypertension).
Last time I threw in canned diced tomatoes as well and that seemed to be nice.
Also serve with shredded cheddar and sour cream. And guac. Scoop with tortilla chips to eat.
I'll try your way (without the anchovies, tho... not a fan of fish).
exquicorp: Why pay for and use salsa ? Good salsa is $$$ and bad salsa is full of.crap.
A good chili doesnt need much umami additions. The best chili you can make has about 12 ingredients.
Cinnamon Stick - 10x than powder
Onion
Beef the leaner stuff is better... you lose less cooking so worth it 1 lb
Poblano for fresh snap
Green Pepper for soft texture
Chili powder
Cayenne
Cumin
Tomatoes always use whole plum no salt and chop with wooden spoon x 2
Dark! Kidney beans x 2
Salt
Tomato paste (tubes last ages)
Gets 5-6 servings easy.
But.... if you make spagbol instead... you can put that in a toastie machine with melty cheese and live on that all week.
LadyBug_0570: >Why pay for and use salsa ? Good salsa is $$$ and bad salsa is full of.crap.
Cuz I don't know how to make salsa! I feel shame.
I didn't even know cinnamon was part of it.
The kidney beans... do you male those from scratch?
I feel so ignorant right now.
exquicorp: Kidney beans are grown 😊
I buy them unsalted in a can. It is cheaper to buy dry but you have to soak and cook them to renove the Lectin or get sick. That isnt worth the effort.
Make your own salsa for chips. Its worth it!
LadyBug_0570: LOL... I meant making them as opposed to buying them pre-cooked in a can. I buy refried beans or whole black beans in a can. My mother used to buy them dry in a bag, had us wash and soak them before cooking them. It's a lot of effort, as you say.
I'll try making my own salsa. :-)
| 15 | 127.733333 | |
1656687469 | 1656688779 | t3_vp2t5v | t5_2to41 | 27 | Wanted_Killer_Beast: TIFU for making a program that solves my math problems
As a young person who hates math bc teacher gives no fucks about teaching my class how to do this new mathematical thing (he just slapped a Whole Quarter of Module without "teaching" us how to use this equation)
So as a kid with a bit of programming knowledge i used my knowledge and made a program that uses the equation to solve the specific question and it works fine.
for example if i look for 'x' I'll just select/fill some things to get the answer i need (always correct).
With this i successfully made a calculator that solves a damn equation without making me think.
But today i forgot to answer some quizzes and a summative exam from my math teacher and the Moving Up is just right around the corner, so i tried to answer the quizzes and the summative, but I don't know how to solve those equations bc i relied to my program (I can't afford to open my computer to solve this bc its already midnight and my computer is at my cousin's house and im already considered very late for answering the quizzes) so i answered every question using my stock knowledge which didn't helped me.
After answering the quizzes and the summative i already know what will be my scores.
TL;DR My Math teacher doesn't teach my class so i solved my math problems with my programming skills to not use my brain which fires back right to my face
ExoticButters79: And this folks is why cheaters never prosper
dakkonwastes: Technically, he would do well in the workforce until his company realized he automated his job. They would fire him and let his scripts keep doing his salaried position
ExoticButters79: Technically he won't get there because he never passed his grade because his cheating lead to him failing. Job and course work not the same thing.
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1656688306 | 1656694051 | t3_vp356b | t5_2to41 | 1 | wannabeawelder: TIFU by accidentally causing thounds in damages
[removed]
TommyMilkshake: Yeah that really happened
wannabeawelder: Proof
slarti54: What, the word?
| 4 | 0.25 | |
1656690677 | 1656695037 | t3_vp4129 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying the word 'motherf...r' in front of my mother.
[deleted]
mtsmylie: Your mother was ... feeding you lunch?
Im_Not_A_Human_4: Yes, and I put in the brackets too the reason (I had to submit that teachers assignment in literally 2 hours which he assigned 1 hr before)..
And I was starving!
mtsmylie: You know that's weird and not normal or healthy, right?
Im_Not_A_Human_4: Ok no issues
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1656691453 | 1656799703 | t3_vp4brq | t5_2to41 | 219 | PhillyxWeb: TIFU By getting yelled at by a bike thief while I was lifeguarding, UPDATE
Make sure to read the first part of this story, you won’t understand most of this if you don’t.
So today I had to go back to the pool and get my bike from the pool house. I walked 2 miles to get there and waited til my coworkers showed up. I’m not working today, keep that in mind.
If you remember the guy who was yelling at me from the other post, you probably remember he’s a pretty big guy. On that note, when I was biking back home, the guy was standing in the middle of the concrete trail in front of the pool, which was where I needed to go.
I am not stopping, I scream “MOVE!” He didn’t move, I am still biking pretty fast. And in the corner of my eye I see the kid who stole my bike before, just standing there. The guy in the middle of the trail crosses his arms, probably thinking I’m gonna stop. If you remember the last part, even though he could probably beat me up easily, but I still was ready to fight. Im not gonna stop for this guy. My bike rammed right into his groin. Your probably thinking two things, “did you fly off your bike?” And “Is he on the floor because of his genitals.” The answer is both, he screamed and fell on the floor clenching his balls, and I flew forward off my bike. I recovered quick, and he was crying on the floor, I walk over and pick up my bike, and bike off. I laugh about, and it satisfied me, that guy was so entitled. And seeing him proven wrong brings me joy.
TL;DR I rammed my bike into the bike thief’s neighbor’s crotch.
FabulouslyFrantic: Legitimate question here: why are children allowed to be lifeguards? How is a child supposed to pull a (theoretical) fully grown drowning man to safety?
How can children be responsible for the safety of both adults and children in a pool?
PhillyxWeb: Alright, you have to be certified, you have to spend 250$ on classes. You are tested to see if you are able to save someone and if you mess up you get kicked out of the classes. We are not children we are teenagers, get your stuff straight.
bweezy320: Teenagers are children. Hate to break it to ya there bud.
PhillyxWeb: 13 and up are teenagers, not classified as children.
bweezy320: The World Health Organization (WHO) defines adolescents as those people between 10 and 19 years of age. The great majority of adolescents are, therefore, included in the age-based definition of “child”, adopted by the Convention on the Rights of the Child,4 as a person under the age of 18 years.
PhillyxWeb: They call people that are 13, teenagers. If it were only children and adults. Then why have the word teenagers.
bweezy320: Whatever kid, you win.
PhillyxWeb: Teen*
| 9 | 24.333333 | |
1656691102 | 1656713168 | t3_vp46p2 | t5_2to41 | 53 | kylelyk: TIFU by tipping my delivery driver 1,600% on my pizza order.
This actually happened about four years ago and I've been putting off writing this. I saw a similarly titled post and figured now was the time.
Wife and I had some friends coming over and we ordered some pizza which arrived before our friends show up. For a little background, my wife and I split the mortgage, I use auto-pay from my checking and my wife gives me her share, ~$400, in cash since she makes most of her money in tips serving at a restaurant.
So the pizza arrives, I grab her half of the mortgage from my dresser, counting out $25, plus a $5 tip, while trying to calm my dog down and get through the door to make the exchange. All goes smoothly.
By the time our friends arrive I've had four or five drinks and it's been half an hour or so since the pizza arrived. They come in and are like "holy shit, look at what was on your porch" and pull out a big stack of bills. Everyone assumes that the delivery driver dropped the tip money he'd made that shift since it's mostly smaller bills, I'm too drunk and stupid to think of any other possibility, so of course we do the right thing and call the pizza place to let them know. Delivery driver is back to get his money in about 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure I was in the middle of a game of Overwatch with my buddy, so my wife gives it to him when he arrives. She said he was surprisingly quiet and didn't even say 'thank you' when she gave it to him. We thought it was odd, but oh well.
The next day when I go to get money from my dresser to take us out to lunch, it's all gone; and it dawns on me, we gave him half the mortgage!
I call the pizza shop again and talk to a manager, apparently the driver won't be working again until the following day, but I explain the situation. The manager is very skeptical, as anyone would be. She says she knows that delivery driver very well, he's one of the most honest people she's ever met, and she "would swear on a stack of bibles that he wouldn't take anything that didn't belong to him." But she agrees to ask him about it the next day.
I'd basically given up all hope and started wondering how many years I would spend thinking about this as I'm trying to fall asleep, but thankfully he was an honest guy. She calls me back the next day and says he has the money and would drop it off the same day. Apparently, he thought that God had given him a windfall, but unfortunately it was just a drunken idiot trying to do the right thing. I end up getting all of the money back, against any realistic expectation that I had, and I gave him an additional $20 for being honest.
TL;DR: I called my pizza delivery driver back to my house to give him my mortgage money on accident. He thought God ordained it, and took the money without telling us it wasn't his. I figured out what happened and he ended up bringing the money back, getting a little extra tip in the process.
12heatedblankets: Dude. Have you no shame? You called him back to get the money after he left it. Guys a frigging Saint. You TIFU x2 and then HE DROVE BACK OUT TO YOUR HOUSE. You didn't even go get it. Doubt the 20 bucks even covered the gas. Stop drinking.
kylelyk: Maybe I wasn't clear. He didn't leave the money. I accidently gave him $400 of my money because I was too dumb to realize it was mine. I needed that to pay for living in my home.
77Sevensins77: You still drunk? Might wanna reread your own story.
| 4 | 13.25 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.