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1657064796 | 1657174992 | t3_vsbsaf | t5_2to41 | 7,790 | Electric_chair337: TIFU by masturbating to the point of hurting myself
Edit at bottom
Obligatory this didn’t happen today, but a few years ago. TLDR at the bottom.
So I had sneakily purchased a vibrator/dildo and lived with religious, controlling parents. This is important. Said parents wouldn’t allow me to have doors closed and eventually I came home after school one day to realize my bedroom door was gone. They said I was being disrespectful and defiant (because I would close it to dress).
Now I was horny. I had so much pent up sexual energy and frustration and my parents were beginning to ask questions as to why I was showering multiple times a day. Hint:I had a very nice shower head with a lot of pressure and pattern options.
So that sweet little black box came in the mail, and I was ecstatic. As any young, sexually frustrated woman might, i used it for a lot of time that night, and the next, and the next, so on for a week. Now the thing is, my parents would come over to the side of the house my room was on at night to make sure I was sleeping and not staying up. Kinda creepy, but not as bad as before when I had a door, without the door at least I wasn’t waking up to the sound of my stepdad opening the door and standing there staring at me.
Anyway, so teen with limited funds, bought the vibrator she could afford. And it was kinda loud. If the were standing in the hallway outside of my bedroom they would have heard it for sure. But I discovered, if you press it down and hold the handle a certain way, it was quiet. So for a week, every night I’m holding this thing at an odd angle for an hour. As the week began to come to a close I noticed an ache and a slight shake that wasn’t going away in my hand. So I’m figured I’d take a few days off and everything would be fine.
But my hand was still shaking the next when I needed to go to school. And slightly swollen. An increasing problem as I have one functional hand and one that couldn’t hold a pencil. Newsflash, I now had TWO hands that couldn’t hold a pencil. I WAS OUT OF HANDS. So a few days of this issue and my mom takes me to the doctor.
Fun fact: in middle school we discovered an issue with my knee because my bones didn’t fuse properly when I was an infant. So I had an extra bone in my knee.
Back to the story, so at the doctors, with my watchful mother never leaving the room, I clearly couldn’t say “hey doc I was masturbating real hard for a few days, holding my vibrator at *this* angle and now my hand hurts” so I just said I’d had a few particularly long writing assignments and my hand was hurting. Doc thought maybe it’s arthritis. Let’s get an X-ray. And what do we discover? Yet another pesky bone, which with continued use, would cause pain and swelling because *its not supposed to be there*.
So i F’ed Up and got a permanent doctors note to type written assignments or do them verbally if the typing was also causing pain.
My parents discovered the vibrator a few months later, threw out it (come on that was 40$ bucks) and I got grounded even though I was a legal adult. Oh and the save your sexuality for your future husband, stop wasting the only thing of value you have.
TLDR: I ha a loud vibrator that when held a certain way would be quiet so I continually used it until my hand was painful, swollen, and shaky. Went to the doc and discovered some of my bones didn’t properly fuse when I little, leading to pain when gripping items for prolonged amounts of time.
Edit:To answer the questions, my relationship with my parents suck, I still live there, I have a young child. I have a poor relationship with sex in general, and yes I did figure out better methods of masturbating.
Jeoshua: "Stop wasting the only thing of value you have"
What lovely people your parents are. No offense, but what kind of parent says that kind of shit to their child?
Glorck-2018: Religious parents, religion is a cancer.
GeorgeCod: I would say it's not religion that sucks, it's the people. Too much of anything harms people. It's nice to at least think there is someone that loves us even if it might not be real, but I don't think they would want what those parents did
Glorck-2018: Religion was made by people so yes, the people suck and therefore the religion also sucks.
trakais777: jesus you are malding so hard about religious people, touch some grass you loser
Jeoshua: And the award for the least self aware comment in this whole thread goes to... This guy!
And doing such a great job of showing us the proper Christian way. Truly doing God's work.
trakais777: im not religious but at least i dont have a part time job on hating people for strawman reasons
Jeoshua: My God. He admits it! Ngl I didn't think you had the balls.
Also, you realize you've been strawmanning everyone here this whole time, right?
trakais777: ive been strawmanning my balls in your moms mouth also why do you sound like a neckbeard who wears a fedora? are you 40 years old with no bitches by any chance?
Jeoshua: I'm actually 40, married, with kids. And you're apparently a 13 year old edgelord who still thinks talking about people's moms makes them look cool. Spoilers: You look like an idiot.
trakais777: so youre a 40 year old whos trying to act smug on reddit and who talks like a redditor? lmfao thanks for the clarificarion neckbeard
Jeoshua: What, haven't your chin pubes dropped yet? There's a reason I was asking about supplements before, kid. You seem.... look I don't want to use stupid "redditor" talking points here but you seem off. Probably low T. Not a dig, legitimately take some B vitamins. p5p. Zinc. Something.
That's not a dig, by the way. You legit seem like you need a lot of help.
And no, I'm not acting smug, or like I think I'm better than you. I know who I am, kid. Learned it long before you were around, I bet. You tho? Edgy childish nonsense and an obsession with balls.
This cry for attention crap you're doing here? I just feel sorry for you. Honestly.
trakais777: why do you talk like a one dimensional character? you talk like you're in a movie, snap out of it you absolute mongol, youre a 40 year old neckbeard whos trying to act cool in front of me, you are the lowest of the low, for my sake im gonna stop talking to you, get some help man
Jeoshua: Yeah. Consider doing something about your whiny demeanor. I'm being legit here, you come off like a whiny brat who didn't get spanked enough as a child. I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out you frequent Incel forums. That's how you talk.
And you don't even see it. And that's the saddest part of all.
Oh, and I might have more nuanced things to say if maybe you stopped talking about your fucking balls. Just saying.
trakais777: 40 year old neckbeard. thats all i have to say
Jeoshua: For the record, that wasn't a hate follow. I just misclicked. I really don't want any more of whatever this nonsense was.
| 17 | 458.235294 | |
1657065010 | 1657218951 | t3_vsbv0i | t5_2to41 | 10 | Wick0158: TIFU by taking my dog for a walk along the green belt
Today has been a rough day. I started off testing positive for Covid. I was feeling it yesterday but it definitely knocked me off my feet for the day. After being in bed until early evening, I felt I had enough energy to get up, get some fresh air, and take the dog for a walk. This is where the shit show started.
For those of you that have had Covid, you know you aren't firing on all cylinders, being a bit bird-brained. I approached the trail to our greenbelt with the dog, taking some deep breaths of fresh air. It was peaceful until some crows start cawing at me. On a normal day, I may have heeded the warning and just gone around the block but I stumbled down the trail like a fool walking into an ambush. The Cawing became relentless, and that's when I realized I was surrounded by a mob of crows, screeching at me. I already had a headache, but then it took a turn for the worse as they started pooping on me, little bird bombs raining from the sky. I got hit twice, while my dog was unscathed. We ran back as they continued their assault. It was a literal shit storm.
I cleaned up and shared the story with my wife. Though I know crows are territorial and I've been dive-bombed by them in the past, I've never had poop flying around me. I did some research and, sure enough, crows will use this as a tactic to scare others away from their nesting areas.
Next time I'll heed the Cawtion signs of territorial crows.
TL;DR Took my dog for a walk where crows were nesting and got mobbed and pooped on.
AcrobaticSource3: There was a documentary about this phenomenon by Alfred Hitchcock
Wick0158: My MIL said the same thing!
AcrobaticSource3: Your MIL has a great sense of humor! Feel free to tell her that an anonymous redditor thinks so! ;)
Wick0158: I think she’ll be flattered and then will ask where the town of Reddit is located. When I explain what it is, she will give me a confused look and tell me to mash the potatoes.
AcrobaticSource3: LOL, that’s hilarious and I love mashed potatoes.
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1657064831 | 1657066655 | t3_vsbsqy | t5_2to41 | 3 | henri124: tifu by stopping talking to my friends off 17yes
See I stopped talking to my friends of 17 yrs known them my whole life but I haven't talked to them in like 3 weeks and I'm just feeling like I've done something wrong on Sunday we where having a chill day when they started targeting me and they do this alot and I just leave it alot of the time and idid for a while until they started throwing stones at me and then before that tried to push me over in the sand when I have all new clothes on but now people ate saying I'm over reacting and it was only a joke but it seems all the jokes are towards me I'm goin on holiday with them in 2 weeks and it's non refundable so should I not go which would be a big fuck up cause it costed like 7k for me and my other mate who I payed for or just make amends and go?tl:dr friends where ducks but alr payed 7k on holiday should I go or not
Jugales: Why are they throwing stones? Friends don't do that unless it is a sanctioned rock fight with the proper gear. I'd look for an explanation and apology before going anywhere with them.
I've been the butt of the joke in groups and it's indeed not fun. I've been in that situation on vacation and it's pretty crappy too. I actually ended a years-long friendship with someone after being the butt of the joke for the whole vacation. I don't miss being the butt, but I do miss that friend sometimes. It was all in good fun in hindsight. But then again, they never threw stones at me.
henri124: Thx
| 3 | 1 | |
1657069846 | 1657089047 | t3_vsdhod | t5_2to41 | 90 | DragonsAreNifty: TIFU; by accidentally licking human remains.
My roommate is an avid thrifter. At one estate sale she found a very cool partial skeleton replica. She brought the replica home, and this thing looked -very- real. I collect biology specimens and these were either the best replicas in existence, or genuine.
She assured me there was no way it was genuine, and said one way to tell was to lick the bone. Supposedly your tongue only sticks to genuine bone as it is a porous material. I do not recommend this method. I reluctantly tried it. It did not stick. I was still unconvinced.
Anyways, I got the bones looked at, and found the distributor’s logo on a femur. They are real human bone from an old New York distributor. They are legal to own. I licked a human rib. Weird to think about.
TL;DR: Got a human skeleton at an estate sale and licking is not an accurate method to test the composition of bone.
JayTheLegends: Why did you lick it?
DragonsAreNifty: Because I am stupid and a pretty girl told me I should
FastWalkingShortGuy: Been down that road.
rc3105: Really though, isn't that why we do anything?
| 5 | 18 | |
1657067233 | 1657079764 | t3_vscm9x | t5_2to41 | 8 | xxxliquid: TIFU by flushing my dentures..
Happened yesterday on the 4th.. backstory..
I (21M) with my girlfriend (23F) and two other friends booked a trip up to Put-in-Bay island on Lake erie for the fourth of july. If anyone knows PIB, its baseically an island for adults to drink and have fun. We got there around noon, got all settled and started the drinking. My Friend and i always hype eachother up, which leads to a snowball of shots, mixed drinks etc. Around 8 pm, im about 7+ shots in, and 4 mixed drinks deep. Now, around 8-8:30 is when everything went down hill. Buddy poured me my (what i didnt know at the time) last shot. Very shortly after it all hit me at once. Found myself over the toilet spewing like a garden hose. This is probably my first or second time throwing up with my dentures in, and while drunk its even worse. My top denture then went into the toilet and managed to save it after sticking my hand in pukey hotel toilet water, but then i had the very bright idea to flush the toilet. Right when it flushed i didnt feel my bottom in. I started to freak out and the GF started to comfort me. I was fishing for my denture in a hotel toilet pleading to any god i possibly can to please give it back. It never did.
Went to bed, quietly freaking out on the inside. Couldnt sleep and wishing this was a whole bad dream. GF tried her best to comfort me (bless her heart!) but im a warry wart! We get on the way home without me ever saying a word out of embarrassment, and got home. Luckily, i have a spare set, which are my newest pair of dentures, and i now have in. Hard lesson learned, and a 4th of july i wont forget for a long, long time..
​
TL ; DR: Drank way too much alcohol, threw up and flushed my bottom denture on accident..
bowlofjello: Oof. Dentures are expensive and a pain to replace.
You might want to look into implant retained dentures! They are also expensive and the implants aren’t super fun to recover from- but it helps your dentures stay in and keeps your bone levels stable. Especially being so young, it would be a lifelong and worthwhile investment in my (professional) opinion.
gwaydms: Agreed. Otherwise the bone in your gums begins to erode. You've seen old folks who've worn dentures for years, and they don't have any gums left? That's why.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657072797 | 1657074703 | t3_vsegzx | t5_2to41 | 31 | Late_Photograph_3811: TIFU by asking my Mom's fiance a question
So I(18f) messed up by making my mom's fiance feel disrespected. So we will call him "Kyle". Kyle is a man that is in 40s and easily gets offended by the smallest things.
Earlier this week, Kyle woke me up at 7am for me to do my chores earlier then normal because people were coming over at 7pm. I normally do my chores around noon since I normally wake up around 11am. After I do my chores, I then pick up other people's messes as the day goes on until I go to bed. I didn't understand why I was being woken up earlier then normal but stayed quiet and cleaned anyway. My chores aren't hard to do so no use complaining there. Now we ran put of paper towels after my sister(12) accidentally spilled a cup of water on the counter. No biggie but Kyle got annoyed by it. Kyle informed me that there was a box of paper towels that have been under out porch for a month and he has been disappointed in my siblings and I not noticing it. I normally don't go outside during the summer because of the responsibility I have in the house of making sure it is clean, that my younger siblings behave and watching the puppy that recently got surgery for his leg.
As my younger brother went to get the box of paper towels, I absent-mindedly asked Kyle why he didn't bring the box into the house if he knew it was down there for a month. Kyle then lost it and started yelling at me for not doing enough around the house and started asking why I didn't do my chores before he woke me up. I did my best not to argue back since that would have caused Kyle to get more pissed at me. My mom came home from work to Kyle yelling. When she asked what happened, I tries to explain but Kyle wouldn't let me and told my mom that I was being disrespectful and lazy. When I was able to explain to my mom my side, she told me that I was being disrespectful and that I should be more responsible with chores. She also told me that I need to get up earlier so I can do chores earlier.
I feel terrible for it and since it happened, Kyle has been complaining about how much of an ass I am and how my little sister is a better person then me. My mom has told me to apologize to Kyle but personally I feel like I wasn't wrong for anything I said, I just feel terrible for how I handled it.
Tl;DR I asked my Mom's Fiance a question and it made him go off on me.
Sitheref0874: You need to find a way to move out. Yesterday.
Late_Photograph_3811: I would move out but I have no where to go. I don't have a job and that I don't have a driver's license since I can't find time to practice but I have a permit to drive and can drive with someone older then I.
rojoshow13: Have you considered being a mail order bride?
Late_Photograph_3811: Sounds like something I don't exactly want to be. I feel like I am too young to be any sort of bride.
rojoshow13: Okay. I just know that in some countries women will do that. I actually know a girl at work who is a mail order bride. I think she's from the Philippines.
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1657071356 | 1657100853 | t3_vse01y | t5_2to41 | 10 | WittyConference5512: tifu - our family game - don't be the pig
the family game- don't be the pig
Happened a long time ago....
Growing up in a large family, there was a certain jealousy that would come up when someone finished the last of a treat. The person that finished off whatever it was - cookies, juice, pizzza, whatever was called the pig. Never mind that the real pigs regularly consumed disproportionate share of the item up to that point. There might be enough cookies to each have one, and they would take two or more. There was enough juice to each have a glass, and they would take seconds before everyone got theirs.
The last cookie often went stale because no one wanted to be the pig. Eat/drink early and often was the key. Don't be the pig that eats or drinks the last. The last bit was cursed.
My sister was expert at dispensing orange juice so that a bare 1/4 cup covered the bottom of the pitcher. Everyone else would look in and put it back. No one wanted to be the pig.
Years later I was visiting home and saw two gallons of milk in the fridge. One nearly full, and one damn near empty. I thought to myself- the game lives on...here my family has started drinking from a new gallon instead of finishing off this other one. With pride in my heart that I was better than some silly game, I took that nearly empty gallon of milk and pour out the last into a cup.
Oh, I was thirsty, and the thought of a nice cold glass of milk was just what I wanted.
I kept thinking how great this is going to taste as I lifted the glass to my mouth. The temperature was perfect. The texture smooth as silk. Oh wait something isn't right. This is not sweet in the slightest...almost vinegary...yuck! I spit that crap out before swallowing.
I would say WTF but this was long before that became popular. My parents saw what happened and were surprised. I said I was finishing off this nearly empty milk jug for them, and they started laughing.
They knew that milk was soured and expired. They like to use it in making pancakes. It worked almost like buttermilk......
I'm back to avoiding being the pig when I go visit. I can't trust them any more.
Tl:Dr never take the last of anything in my home. It's cursed
infini98: That game is so toxic and negative... 😅
whollings077: families...
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1657073400 | 1657115127 | t3_vseohz | t5_2to41 | -2 | Ok_Transportation530: TIFU and kissed my friend
So it started with me (28 male)on a phone call talking to friend (30 female). They seemed like they were having a rough day and I was too I work in the sun and it was in the triple digits today. Now for some back story they told me they liked me and I liked them a few weeks ago but their in a poly relationship and I’m strictly monogamous. Now I told them I just needed someone to talk to cause I was having a rough day and they asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant and I responded sure meet me here, and sent them the address. Now we ordered to go and ate and talked for a bit and then we kinda cuddled for a minuet. And we kept getting really close so I thought they wanted a kiss and I wanted a kiss not gonna lie and I kissed her. And everything seemed fine. Now I left after dinner and messaged them “ hey sorry if I overstepped” cause I’ve been known to misunderstand “advances” and I wanted to apologize if I misread the situation. Then they messaged me back and blew up on me. I feel like I fucked up our friendship by misreading something as an advance. Am I a fuckin idiot? (Edit I am autistic and single I’m not poly I’m mono but I don’t have a partner)
TLDR; misread something as an advance and kissed my friend and possibly ruined my friendship with them
abyssalcrisis: I’d be less worried about that and more worried that you cheated on your current partner homie
Rover267: Seems like you didn’t read the story at all. He didn’t cheat. The girl in the story did
ConferenceOk1110: Did she? She is poly.
| 4 | -0.5 | |
1657074968 | 1657103850 | t3_vsf7of | t5_2to41 | 688 | growingpainzzz: TIFU by doing a little dance while talking to a coworker.
I’m a pretty… joy-forward person. I don’t know if that will make sense to you, but if you know you know. Many find me obnoxious, many enjoy my approach. I keep on doing my thing either way.
I’ve started a new, corporate-adjacent job, and it’s taking some adjusting. I asked a question today to someone who, frankly, might think I’m an idiot. Mid-question, the total lack of desire to deal with me filled his eyes which is not uncommon in our interactions.
I got nervous, but I already had his attention, so there was no going back. My solution? I started to dance through my question. Like a literal shimmy. If I’m being honest, I have sung one or more statement to this person before.
It’s like when someone doesn’t quite “get it”, my inner-weirdo doubles down into Awkward Fortress of Weird.
So, if you’re reading this, laidback coworker trying to mind your business and get your work done… just know I know.
TL;DR tifu by being so awkward with a new coworker, that I think there is no redeeming myself.
lunixss: It's not a TIFU if you have done this before on multiple occasions, back to the drawing board.
growingpainzzz: Can definitely say that I haven’t, to my knowledge, literally shimmied through a sentence while looking someone in the eye who is deeply and literally unamused.
lunixss: >If I’m being honest, I have sung one or more statement to this person before.
If I’m being honest, I have sung one or more statement to this person before.
OR MORE you do this shit all the time. It's not a fuck up when you literally just do this.
growingpainzzz: “You do this shit all the time.” Why do I feel like you have a me that you are fed up with?
Maybe the distinction is lost to some, but casually singing a response here and there and generally just not vibing with someone is significantly less of a fuck up than literally dancing/wiggling your body to “diffuse” awkwardness in an office setting. I swear he was close to chewing me out.
It’s a TIFU, because, as I said, I danced, now I think there’s no redeeming myself w this person.
briareus08: Meh, you do you. Eventually you’ll find someone who dances back, and then you’ll have a work buddy for life!
Slightly different obviously, by my partner is a bit like this at work, and we do it together (shimmy through convos) in our home life all the time. It’s fun as hell, and not everything in life needs to be serious. Even work.
| 6 | 114.666667 | |
1657074407 | 1657078703 | t3_vsf0vi | t5_2to41 | 13 | Donna_Rose8247: TIFU by accidentally turning porn on in front of my parents
The title makes it sounds much more dramatic than it actually was, but I still nearly died of embarrassment until they started laughing because they believed me
My parents recently got a new smart tv. As I don’t watch cable and we already have a PlayStation, I’ve only been using the tv as a monitor. This morning I was very sick and dragged myself out to the couch—forgetting to grab the PlayStation remote from its charger—and decided it was as good a time as any to learn to use the smart tv remote on the coffee table so I could watch Netflix. And it worked great
Problem arose when I tried to pause the tv when my dad walked into the room with food he had picked up for me. The button I pushed was apparently not the pause button, and instead switched it over to live tv. And of course it happened to turn to an extremely NSFW scene
I immediately panicked and turned it off, so I suppose it’s *possible* it was a normal tv show that was just pushing the limits of a TV-MA rating. But my mother was sitting next to me and immediately asked why there was porn on the tv. I start freaking out trying to explain “I don’t know, I just tried to pause it and hit live tv instead, why is there even porn on the live tv???”
I’ve always been a terrible liar and my parents know it, plus I’m ace and they know that, so of course they believed me and started laughing at the accident. Still, the entire thing was an embarrassing experience on a day I already felt great
TLDR: I tried to use my parents new smart tv to watch Netflix and accidentally flipped to porn instead of pausing, with my parents in the room. I was extremely embarrassed, but my parents believed it was a mistake and found it funny, so no harm was done
patg84: Sounds like the scene from American Pie.
https://youtu.be/fE724kX2uSo
Donna_Rose8247: Lmao, fortunately my parents were already in the room when it flipped from Netflix to porn, so they knew it actually was an accident. That and I was fully clothed and still had a trash can for throwing up into
patg84: lolol
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1657074680 | 1657145982 | t3_vsf454 | t5_2to41 | 223 | AmandaMarsh: TIFU by grabbing the cashier's acrylic fingernail at McDonald's
I stopped at McDonald's for an iced coffee this morning. The way our local restaurant is set up is that you order at the drive-thru intercom, pay and collect your receipt at the first window, then pick up your food at the second window.
Sometimes when there's a backup at the food window, and if you've only ordered a drink, they'll hand you your drink at the first window so you don't have to wait behind the person who ordered five value meals.
I ordered then drove to the first window, where I handed the cashier my credit card. She handed me back my credit card, receipt, and the familiar striped straw. I grabbed all three at once.
But it wasn't a straw. It was her long, acrylic, red-and-white-striped fingernail—likely painted in an American flag motif to celebrate the recent holiday. She jerked her hand back, I mumbled sorry, and drove quickly to the next window.
Why did I even think it was a straw? They're always handed to you wrapped in plain, white paper. I'm just thankful I didn't rip her nail off.
TL;DR: I grabbed the striped, acrylic fingernail of the McDonald's cashier, thinking it was a straw for my iced coffee.
Xaraxa: astounds me that food service industry still allows long fingernails. So much bacteria underneath those things with no easy way to clean. There should at least be some extra long gloves that they should wear.
AmandaMarsh: I'm not sure if it matters to the restaurant as a cashier not handling the preparation part. If I'm not mistaken, you need to be Servsafe certified for prep, and not everyone has that.
Xaraxa: Cashier still handling money/cards being touched by customers. Money is another petri dish I don't want to think about. Idk how people get anything done with nails like that.
Thealchemist649_: Plus, working at Dunkin' as a "Store Associate", I've handled money and made plenty of the food and drinks as well. It's what we're expected to do
| 5 | 44.6 | |
1657077582 | 1657079256 | t3_vsg23j | t5_2to41 | 43 | Contntlbreakfst: TIFU by accidentally stealing the neighbor kids’ cat.
We moved across the country into a small apartment complex (~20 apartments) about 3 weeks ago. The weather was in the mid 90s when we moved in and rose to a week long stretch of 99-102. We noticed a tabby cat wandering around our section of the complex nearly every day, moving from shady spot to shady spot and eating bugs and lizards. He was friendly and after a few days started sauntering up to me for scritches whenever I was outside. He wore a slightly ratty collar but a handful of the neighbors explained that he was a stray who’d been around for a few months and was always out there. A few people put water bowls out for him here and there.
One evening he ran into our house while we were bringing in groceries. I put him back out but a few minutes later he wanted in again. I’m not a cat person but I am an animal person so after I posted a few ‘found’ ads for him I contacted our apartment manager asking about the cat and if they were sure it was a stray. She said she’d send emails out asking and I heard back the next day that maintenance confirmed no one owned the cat and that she’d waive the pet fee if we wanted to take him in for a bit.
We took him the vet to get his chip scanned for an owner and he didn’t have one. Since we had to pay for the scan anyways we got him a checkup and found out he was positive for feline HIV and has a paw infection and fleas.
This morning I woke up to someone tagging me on a post on Nextdoor asking if anyone had seen him. I got in touch with the woman and explained that I probably (some of her details didn’t line up) had her cat, asked some questions that would help me figure out if it was hers, and explained his medical situation and that I’d be glad to give him back after his meds are done/follow up appointment. She wanted to pick him up at a ‘neutral location’ and because it had been 4th of July weekend it’d be a few days before the SPCA would be open and they could facilitate the transfer (I wasn’t convinced he was hers and didn’t feel comfortable asking her to provide legal/vet records to me personally). She asked me to call her and I said I would give a call later. I had a migraine so I asked my boyfriend to give her a call when he was free to discuss when she’d pick him up and transferring his medical care over and went to sleep for a few hours. (Spoiler he forgot)
Sometime later (same day) I heard firm persistent knocking at the door, which I scrambled to dress myself and answer because I figured it was an emergency (we’d just moved here, we don’t know anyone, I have never given out my address to anyone but Amazon). A huge aggressive man I have never seen before (with a woman and three kids behind him) started yelling at me about why I won’t give him back his cat. He won’t let me ask questions or finish any sentences and orders one of the kids into my house to get the cat (cat was snoozing on a chair right in view). They stomp off, I’m in shock, then a bunch of lightbulbs go off in my head
1. We live 12 feet away across from each other THATS why the cat was always at my door and how they found out where I live (kids must have seen the cat in the window)
2. The cat wasn’t legally registered or listed to the lease, so management accidentally lied to me about him being unowned
3. The woman I spoke to online and the man who showed up don’t live in that apartment (their kids/grandkids do) so the app posted the cat missing and last seen in a different neighborhood than I was seeing him in at the same time (one reason I was suspicious he wasn’t theirs)
4. The kids were definitely not aware of the circumstances and not old enough to understand that all my actions were by-the-book legal and the result of multiple misunderstandings
SO basically,
Tl;dr I accidentally held hostage 3 poor little kids beloved kitty cat for a few days and now they think I’m evil
ecologybitch: this is unfortunate. it sounds like you weren't able to explain what actually happened; maybe leave a note with some cookies or something explaining and apologizing? idk if that's weird but it sucks to start off on the wrong foot
Contntlbreakfst: We explained the situation to the manager and she said she spoke with them about it so we should be off their hit list now I frickin hope.
We considered an apology letter and gift basket, but considering how rudely that man treated me and that we paid ~$500 in care for their pet (I sent them off with all the vet paperwork and care packets and some treats) I think we can get away with just not interacting further.
ecologybitch: okay yeah that's fair. I hadn't really thought about it like that. my first reaction to almost every situation is "oh my god what can I do to make sure they aren't angry anymore" even if they were the ones out of line and mistreating me to begin with. I'm trying to fix that though, so thanks for responding! helped me see that I did it again without even realizing
Contntlbreakfst: The survival instinct there is strong, I’m def an aggressive people pleaser too
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1657066699 | 1657101809 | t3_vscft2 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Ozzyvares: TIFU by saying fuck OSHA
I recently landed the opportunity of a lifetime through a friend of Bill’s. It’s work I’ve never done before but I am extremely passionate about it and have always wanted to do something similar. The job requires painstaking, meticulous work. Most of my duties take place in a warehouse that has no air circulation. The most we have available at any point in time is a blower that pushes around hot, humid air (I live in FL for reference). To cut to the chase, I spend 7-9 hours a day cleaning used restaurant equipment with caustic, highly toxic chemicals, I.e. sprayway stainless steel polish, rust dissolver, windex, goo gone, etc. Normally I have my crew pull the equipment out, spray it, scrub it, put it back in. However, it’s been so hot these last few weeks that the equipment basically turns into a griddle of left out on the sun too long. So I’ve made it a point that everyone keep the equipment inside, wear masks, gloves, and use the blower. Not only is it safer for them, these are (pretty) standard OSHA practices. We’re an LLC so we HAVE to comply. If code enforcement walked into this place, we would already be screwed (a story for another time) so we really need to be careful about what we do. Well, I had a small crew today and we were desperate for hands so in between my other managerial duties, I stepped in to give the guys some help. I wore my mask most of the day but after the guys packed up for the day my ADHD brain and I decided to go finish a project. Sadly in the calamity of my own mind, I forgot my mask at my desk. Rewind a few hours to me absolutely demolishing three spicy chicken tacos. Suddenly we have a disaster on our hands. Not only is my stomach on the fritz because I’ve consumed Lolita’s homemade chili sauce from the sketchy taco stand two blocks away, AND have i been working in a non ventilated warehouse full of mildew, but now I’ve completely ruined my day by inhaling the worst of the worst chemicals. First came the nausea, which subsided quickly. Then the fever. Then the most heinous fecal matter you could care to see (or god forbid smell). I have settled (slightly) for the moment and am praying that god forgives me for my crimes and allows me to see another sunrise 😬 I think I’ve learned my lesson.
TL;DR TIFU because I worked in a 100+ degree warehouse, ate spicy tacos from a sketchy taco stand, and then inhaled chemicals that could kill a horse because I forgot my mask. God forgive me.
gwaydms: >fuck OSHA
Fuck paragraphs, too, I guess. ;) A few breaks in your narrative makes it easier to read.
You have to take care of yourself or worse will happen. OSHA doesn't make those rules for nothing. And choose your taco stands/food trucks more carefully. Good luck.
whollings077: as they say, OSHA rules are written in blood...
gwaydms: Oh yeah.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1657080860 | 1657118531 | t3_vsh3at | t5_2to41 | 7,650 | Th3_Wr1t3r: TIFU by letting my sexual frustration get the best of me for a year
Obligatory not today but a year or two ago.
So, as I was a young man (19) just getting into college and having been single for a few years by this point, I dove head first into online dating apps. Had a few successes here and there, never anything serious.
Anyways, on this app called MeetMe (which is now swarmed with bots, so you know its a classy app) Had messaged this chick who lived not far from me, actually in the town where I went to college at.
I turn off my data and go lay down after taking some melatonin when I get paranoid that I took too much and won't wake up. Lot of anxiety issues, so that's fair. Turn my data on and Google it then see that she messaged me back.
We end up calling each other that night and talking for hours and hours. Have a really good feeling and decide to meet up with her after class the next day. Pull up to the destination and she's alright looking, fairly standard for the girls I usually talk to. We go grab pizza and are having a great time. Really hit it off. The chick who takes our order even asks how long we've been friends, because we seemed so comfortable with each other.
We go back to her place that she shares with a family friend and his wife. And we hook up.
Should have been a red flag, but its been awhile. We end up spending just about every day that week together. Here's my first major fuck up, of many. I let her talk me into moving in with them. After a week of knowing each other.
Things go well until more red flags crop their pretty little heads up. Biggest of all is that she tells me she can actually turn into a giant white wolf! And the dude I just moved in with? He has an angel inside of him :)
Well, regular sex convinces me to let that slide. "Hey, so they're a little eccentric. No biggie. How do I know she can't turn into a wolf? You've gotta keep an open mind."
Another week goes by and we end up getting kicked out because the guys wife was a genuine psychopath and assumes my new gf is fucking her husband.
So where do we go? Into my van. We moved into my van. I'm going to cut the story short here, but give you a quick highlight reel of the next year of my life.
-She gets a job at McDonald's and I continue school. But she's an awful employee and only gets maybe 20 hours a week.
-Turns out the reason she showered three times a day is because if she doesn't, she smells like a sewer.
-She would piss herself fairly regularly, actually.
-Have multiple situations where she dragged me into meeting someone new (which I'm not a fan of because of social anxiety) only for it to go sour once they realize she's not that great of a person?
-Since she made the money, I'd let her spend it on whatever she wanted, which was usually dumb shit we didn't need. While we were genuinely starving.
-Met the chick who helped me get my first real job (who also turned out to be fairly toxic) and talking her into letting us stay the night at her house. We're told to just walk into her house because the door is unlocked while the chick's boyfriend is sleeping. My gf thought this was an fantastic idea and I had to convince her to just knock on the door until we woke him up. At three in the morning.
-Got dragged to Oklahoma City (I live in Arkansas) for three months to take care of her aunt with cancer, who was lying about said cancer. Got told we were going two hours before we left. Decided to do it because we were going to run out of food. This was right around the time Covid really hit and the college food pantry was running low on food. Also, she had the only phone, so to my parents, I just kind of disappeared for a few months with no word.
There's way more, but I realize I'm starting to sound really bitter and I'm frankly mostly over that whole mess.
Edit: A couple of people have asked how we broke things off, so here you go.
Essentially came back from OKC after the three months because Covid was getting bad there and we were both tired of the aunt. I went to my parents and she went and stayed with her mom. Mind you, this was the first time we had really been apart for more than a few days for more than a year.
I had genuine separation anxiety, that's how deep I was. Well, being around my parents, who rightly hated her, and some friends who had told me this entire time to dump her finally started to get the idea in my head.
She moves in with me and my family and is just being her toxic awful self and causing a lot of tension on everyone. I got a job while she was with her mother and started working. Well, whenever I would hang out with friends, she would blow up and bitch me out about not spending time with her.
This went on for maybe a month or so when I told her she needed to get a job and get out. I decided to give her a month to do so. End of the month comes and she never even fucking tried.
This is the first time I have ever shut down emotionally. I mean completely. I felt nothing for this horrible creature in front of me. She told me it was like talking to a brick wall and I told her "You pushed me to this point." She got picked up two days later.
Breath of relief.
TL;DR Let my sex drive drag me into a year long relationship with a psychopath who manipulated me the whole time and dragged me into shitty situation after shitty situation, including making me homeless. Thank God she's gone.
Edit: Formatting
ComprehensiveClerk52: Holy shit my guy
Th3_Wr1t3r: Yeah, I haven't been in a relationship since, lol
[deleted]: “lol” man, you need to find some professional help, and that’s okay!
Th3_Wr1t3r: Oh absolutely. I use to be in counseling and on meds when I was younger but stopped it for whatever reason? I've gotten pretty far by myself, but I can only imagine how much better it would be with proper meds and being able to talk with someone regularly. Just waiting for insurance from my work!
niko4ever: >I've gotten pretty far by myself
Sorry dude but this story says otherwise. And I say that as someone with psychotic depression, like, I literally hallucinate shit and had to take schizophrenia meds for a while. I went off the rails and ended up in the psych ward at your age. And I still would rather go through that period again than the last couple of years of your life.
Th3_Wr1t3r: Also remember that this was when I was 19 and I'm about to turn 23. It's been a hot minute.
niko4ever: Fair enough, I hope you've turned things around
Th3_Wr1t3r: I've had a lot of personal growth and am doing pretty well :)
| 9 | 850 | |
1657081495 | 1657082126 | t3_vshaaf | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU finally taking a chance and asking someone I like to hang out
[deleted]
RSwordsman: You tell a good story and that sucks, but there's no FU. You both handled it well.
Soulpatch_6_6: Try telling that to my heart
RSwordsman: I can tell your heart I have one singular experience of not asking out a crush that defined everything I felt about it afterward.
Eighth grade before the school dance. I had the worst crush of my life (into the modern day) on a girl who everyone else treated normally, but I felt like she was a rose among brambles. I was definitely not cool and somehow felt like the very idea that I felt strongly for her could never get out. So I basically hemmed and hawed and eventually let slip to the guys I sat at lunch with that I liked her. One of them suddenly *brought her over and said I had something to tell her.* So I stammered out that I wanted to go with her, and she looked like she pitied me while saying that she was already going with someone else. I did see her there with the other guy and was certain he was only a fraction as happy about being with her as I would have been.
That was over half a lifetime ago and I'd insist that the pain of rejection is never as bad as the pain of regret. And now I can never listen to Hey Ya again without thinking about that goddamn dance lol.
| 4 | 8.25 | |
1657081544 | 1657122456 | t3_vshask | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a great job offer revoked for being a dumbass
[deleted]
jonnythunder3483: Sounds like they made the right call. You took what should have been a simple thing and proved yourself to be untrustworthy lol
bipbiplachuga: Maybe, but I didn’t do it for malicious purposes. I was sleep deprived, absent minded, and just wanted to get it done and go home. Like I already told them I’d come back positive for thc, why would I then try to mess with the test after finding out I can’t be penalized for it?
N1shi: They wanted to know if you do drugs. You do drugs. They had time to find someone who doesn't. Tl:dr don't do drugs.
bipbiplachuga: In NJ, you can’t revoke a job offer because of a positive THC result. It’s legalized recreationally here. The offer was revoked because from an outside perspective it appeared like I fucked with the test on purpose and was deemed untrustworthy.
jonnythunder3483: …well yeah, it appeared like you fucked with the test on purpose that because you literally fucked with the test on purpose.
bipbiplachuga: Well on purpose with the intent to cheat. I just wanted to go home faster. If I could have peed the correct amount in the first place it wouldn’t of happened.
| 7 | 9.285714 | |
1657081750 | 1659259184 | t3_vshcy6 | t5_2to41 | 4 | facesdelux: TIFU by using the word cock when taking up for female friend
TIFU by using the word cock when taking up for female friend
While playing fallout 76 today my female friend (lvl138) another friend (lvl48) and myself(lvl37) we're attacked by another player(lvl620). after he first joined our party to check us out, he then contested our workshop and killed us all. PVP is limited in fallout 76 in that players have to either reciprocate aggression or contest their workshop, so after he checked out our team and then killed us all we were understandingly miffed. She messaged him about killing low level players to which he replied that she should be in the kitchen. At this point it was on like donkey Kong. She reached out to a higher lvl player(her mom, she's an adult too) for help and there was some back and forth pvp and several messages and of course his continued sexist bigotry, but eventually he told me(a dude) to go make him a sandwich so I offered him a cockmeat sandwich. now I'm on suspension and can't even let my friend know she should report the bigot who got me suspended. Super effing peeved about this right now. Anyone got any advice. And thanks for listening to me blowing steam.
TL : DR offered a bigot a cockmeat sandwich when he assumed my gender and got reported for it
KittikatB: Between your friend and her mum, one of them should be able to figure out they should report the guy.
facesdelux: I can't communicate with anyone as I am chat banned currently
KittikatB: In what way does that stop them reporting him for being a dick to them?
facesdelux: They weren't that upset considering how many times they killed him, though until I came of chat ban they thought I was mad at them and upset that he took it so far so once I let them know she reported him.
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1657081909 | 1657109810 | t3_vshen8 | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU By Thinking I Was Strong (NSFW)
[deleted]
Eulerious: Now that's some motivation for the next 6 months of training! I kinda wanna see your new workout routine specifically tailored to your new goal...
Notatbayifthrowaway: I started doing what some recommended and squats are something I'm starting! I don't have anyone with me so I'm a bit apprehensive about deadlifts😂
drumstickwarlord: Why would you need a spotter for deadlifts?
Notatbayifthrowaway: Sorry, I just woke up when I wasn't thinking right lol...I was thinking about bench pressing...not even close to being the same lol
| 5 | 11.4 | |
1657084488 | 1657148509 | t3_vsi57y | t5_2to41 | 213 | Myfakeaccount90: TIFU by asking a wheel chair dependent woman if she wanted to go for a walk as a first date
So the past few days I have been talking to this woman who suffers from a disease that makes it difficult to walk and is wheel chair dependent. She's pretty cool, my age, has a lot of the same interests I do, and constantly makes light of her illness. We were introduced by a mutual friend and exchanged numbers. When I woke up today I had a text from her asking if I was available to go on a date this weekend. I replied "yes, I would be available Saturday after 4 pm" and she responded "that works great for me, what would you like to do?"
Now, I was groggy from just waking up. I'm not a morning person at all. When I go on first dates I prefer to meet somewhere public to spend time so it's not as awkward and each party can leave if they don't feel comfortable.
"It doesn't matter to me, maybe go for a walk at XYZ park near us?"
The good news is she took it pretty light hearted and knew it was a mistake, but it's going to keep me up at night 5 years from now.
TL:DR - Asked someone who can't walk if she wanted to go for a walk. She was pretty chill about it.
Exhausted_Monkey26: As a person who uses a wheelchair myself, I wouldn't think of it as a fuck up. Heck, I call it "going for a walk" myself.
LadyBug_0570: It's a whole lot better than this one guy my sister was talking to. She has MS (at the time she was using a cane). He knew about it because she told him she can't walk for too long. Dude proposed walking on the beach as a first date.
She said no, reminded him about her MS. Unlike OP, he kept insisting and say it would be romantic. She said there is nothing romantic about her being in pain. He still kept insisting, so she cancelled the date and blocked him.
Unusual_SnowStorm0: Wtf is wrong with people???😕
LadyBug_0570: If I knew, I'd be a billionaire and could retire.
| 5 | 42.6 | |
1657084577 | 1657099457 | t3_vsi65q | t5_2to41 | 8 | Royallyscrewed22: TIFU by being away from my wife.
I went out of town with good intentions, trying to meet people and have a good time. But I got drunk. And I mean really obliterated drunk, the worst I’ve been in 9 years. I know that I messed up, that I allowed myself to come into this space where I was out of control and unsupervised. But I was too far gone to care. All sense of right and wrong gone and replaced with intoxication, and a desire, an urge, that has been unfulfilled for quite some time. I made a fool of myself, of those that believe in me, and I can’t tell a soul.
My peers know what I’ve done, they were all there; too close to overlook my closeness to him. The way I grazed my hand over his thigh, desperate for his attention. Over, and over, right where everyone could see. I tried to resist, I remember that. But then I overstepped, no blatantly ignored, the boundaries set by the bounds of trust; my coworker, my marriage… and I don’t know what to do.
I desperately need to tell someone, anyone that I made this mistake, but I can’t tell a single person what I’ve done. I know that nothing came of my advances, but the worst part is that I don’t know everything that actually happened. What did I do? What did I say? What do they all think of me now and is there anything I can do to change it?
I‘m torn, between facing this person and admitting my guilt and shame, or just ignoring the situation all-together. I’m not sure that they want me to say anything, not just about this but about anything ever again. I’m devastated, both physically and mentally, that I’ve made such a huge lapse not only in judgement but also in my character.
Will I ever feel like myself again? Will this guilt eventually go away, or will the impending socialization I will be forced into with this other being that now, undoubtedly, thinks nothing but the worst of me set this impermeable doom in stone?
​
TL;DR
Got drunk, put the moves on a married coworker when I‘m married myself, left with unavoidable guilt and the feeling that my life may fall apart at any moment.
former_demon: Bro you fucked up bad. Like real bad. And it's your fault. Try to remember, if anything did happen, be honest to your wife, if nothing serious happened, completely ignore it and never mention it again
ConferenceOk1110: I think OP is a she? Not that it matters..
former_demon: I mean I can't tell, but OP still is rather moronic for getting this wasted to the point they can't remember shit
| 4 | 2 | |
1657085499 | 1657086992 | t3_vsifat | t5_2to41 | 3 | Carlie_10: TIFU by eating an entire container of rotted meat
Obligatory this didn’t happen today, but a couple of years ago. Still traumatizes me to this day though.
My family was never big on family dinners. Most of the time it was a fend for yourself type of situation. Mostly due to the fact that my parents work a lot and all five kids have very different tastes, including some being vegetarian, some being huge meat eaters and an array of allergies. So it was always easier for us to figure out our own dinner if we weren’t going out to eat.
One day during summer break I got a text from my mom saying that we had ground beef in the fridge and that I could make something with it if I wanted. One of my go to meals was chips with ground beef, black beans and cheese and I would eat that pretty often.
So I go in the fridge to look for the ground beef. I couldn’t find it so I went digging into the back of our fridge and found a container with some cooked ground beef. This is where I fucked up. What I didn’t realize was that my mom meant we had UNCOOKED ground beef in the fridge for me to cook and the meat I found had been sitting in the back of the fridge for who knows how long.
So I naively continue making my chips. I go to the pantry to grab the black beans but we were out so I was just like “fuck it imma just have beef and cheese” because I was hungry. So I make my beef and cheese chips and start chowing down.
Right away I noticed something tasted off but I assumed it was because I didn’t have beans as I only ever had beans with my chips. So I continued eating and I devoured that whole plate.
I think y’all can assume what happened next but what I’ll say is that I spent lots of time shitting my brains out over the course of a week. I never vomited but it was just nonstop diarrhea for days and then smell was horrendous. I’ll tell y’all that having constant diarrhea is NOT fun. Ever since then I always excessively smell and question the newness of my food. I can say I was effectively traumatized from that event.
TL;DR I ate rotted meat I found in the back of my fridge because I didn’t realize my mom was referring to the uncooked meat in the fridge, and I shit my brains out for a week.
Pleasant_Airline_274: Did the beef and cheese taste good tho?
Carlie_10: Not really lmao too dry imo. The beans add some juice yknow
Pleasant_Airline_274: And the juice is well needed 🥲
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1657086857 | 1657088508 | t3_vsisdz | t5_2to41 | 16 | thatdaltonguy: TIFU by accusing my partner of cheating
I want to start off by saying I feel like the worst person alive. I feel so awful I can’t bring myself to do anything I just either end up crying or hating myself. She’s kind and sweet, my own insecurities boiled over and I accused her with no base. I just went insane. I want to say I am throwing a huge pity party for myself because i just don’t know what else to do. I have been sulking around and doing nothing. I just want to roll over and die. I apologized and apologized, but that is just saying sorry to a broken plate. The last thing I want to do is lose her and then I go and accuse her of something terrible? We just had a great weekend with her family and spent some quality time together. I just woke up this morning and I just had to look at her phone because I’m insecure. I didn’t find anything, I just lost it.
How could I just come to the conclusion that something is going on? My insecurities have boiled over and now I have hurt her. Am I so un confident that I just think someone else is better for her? I feel so awful and I am getting exactly what I deserve for it. She doesn’t want to talk to me and I don’t want to speak because I feel so small.
I hate myself for being such a baby and so incredibly weak. This isn’t about garnering sympathy. I just fucked up today and I want to punch myself in the head for it. I’m not going to love bomb her or pretend like nothing happened. I’m genuinely not projecting I would never cheat on her.
I just genuinely know I have things to work on and I don’t want anyone to think I am asking for sympathy.
I’m sorry A, I love you and I feel like I’m 2 inches tall right now.
Tl;dr I accused my partner of cheating even though that’s just not true.
Technical-Titlez: Listen bro.... Accusing your partner of cheating, and "Losing it", when you didn't even find anything isn't just your insecurities.
There is definitely more to to the reason why you did this.
I would look deeper into yourself on this one. Maybe seek out a professional to talk to, because this is far from a normal or even abnormal reaction, it's way, way above that.
Use this a catalyst to get the help you need so you can stop acting this way.
thatdaltonguy: Yeah even my partner said they don’t know who I am because of this, and I’m almost always a super happy silly guy. My understanding of my own emotions is just terrible. I hate myself and I don’t know why I would ever do this.
Technical-Titlez: Naw don't hate yourself dude.
You're clearly NOT a bad person, just a bit mixed up. I see someone taking responsibility for his actions and not trying to absolve himself of responsibility. That means something.
You can and will overcome this if you believe you need to, which you definitely seem to understand.
You got this bro, really. We all have issues man. I have MASSIVE issues, I just never stop trying to improve myself. As long as you live that motto, you can never be a bad person if you actually care about people.
I believe in you brother.
thatdaltonguy: Thank you. I always try and make myself better for me so I can be better for her. I just don’t know who I was today. Like last week I fucked up by sending flowers to her wrong work location, I should have checked honestly but how did that go to this? I feel awful about the whole thing and just want to find a hole to hide in
Technical-Titlez: I've been here too man. Not the exact situation, however I have made seemingly irreversible fuck ups with my partner.
It might not be the end, just be open and honest, and tell her just how seriously you are taking this.
Literally show her your therapy appointment if you can.
You're smart for letting her be, keep doing that for awhile.
I honestly can't tell you how things got from an incorrect work address to an accusation of this magnitude. That's what worries me about you man, it seems like it shouldn't have. There's no shame in recognizing a potential character flaw and getting some help for it, I wish everyone did that. The world might not be such a terrible place if people did.
Just eat something and try to get some sleep bro. Thats your best bet for now.
You take care man.
thatdaltonguy: Thanks, I’m going to let her know about the session and just kinda how they go when I get there. I am going to try and see a psychiatrist
| 7 | 2.285714 | |
1657087316 | 1657093577 | t3_vsiwt7 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Grimlee-the-III: TIFU for accusing the sister of my boyfriend of pretending to be him and faking his death
I’ve been dating a person online for a year and a half about, but a couple months ago they slowly went silent. None of their family talked to me so I was getting suspicious. I waited, and tried to check in, and then found out he had been in a car crash. Ok. A little suspicious. His sister and brother told me they would update me. This was in December and early January of 2022. I got one message telling me how he was, and that he was apparently planning our first in person date while in the hospital. Then, nothing, once again, until now. I messaged the sister tonight and asked her how his recovery was going, and if I can do anything and how she was doing.
She told me that she thought the older brother would have told everyone by now.
Told everyone what?
That my boyfriend was dead.
At that moment, all the past times where people had lied to me in horrible ways sort of came to mind- I was already suspicious because he had just slowly stopped talking to me. His sister and I go back and forth- I accuse her of faking him existing and ask for proof. She gets mad. We continue this for a bit until I do get some actual proof. And then it hit me. Well, shit, my boyfriend fucking died and I accused his sister of making him up entirely.
We’re on good terms now and going to work together on the grieving process. Neither of us got to go to his funeral.
TLDR: accused grieving sister of my boyfriend of making him up and pretending he was dead - only to find out, yes, he actually did die.
djquik1: So you never voice chatted?
Grimlee-the-III: Didn’t have the opportunity to
Due-Contribution6424: I mean, to be fair, you may have still been catfished. You ever send him money? (Sorry, the proof part was vague and some of these people will go to all lengths.) I honestly do not blame you.
Grimlee-the-III: Never sent him money or anything. We just talked a lot.
Due-Contribution6424: I’m sorry it all happened to you. Condolences also.
| 6 | 2.666667 | |
1657087909 | 1657213169 | t3_vsj2b5 | t5_2to41 | 4,740 | PimpDaddyMcKane: TIFU and went through my wife’s phone
[removed]
roostertree: No one abandons a good marriage. What aren't you telling us?
noyoto: Obviously the marriage wasn't working, but that doesn't mean OP has to have done something wrong. Maybe she got bored. Maybe she fell for the cop. Maybe it's a midlife crisis type of thing. Whatever the case, it's possible she totally screwed over OP. Leaving is fine. Cheating is not.
roostertree: >that doesn't mean OP has to have done something wrong
True. I said nothing of the sort. Only that there are details missing either deliberately, or b/c OP is in a state of denial and delusion.
Op's only mistake might be marrying wrong. But if that's the case, why'd that happen? Was she too beautiful not to marry, and so he ignored warning signs? I dunno.
TL_TRIBUNAL: please shut up
roostertree: Make your case, or take your own advice.
TL_TRIBUNAL: no.
roostertree: And that's why your opinion is worth the paper it's printed on.
No one leaves a good marriage.
TL_TRIBUNAL: The downvotes say otherwise
roostertree: Popularity of thought =/= factuality of thought
No one leaves a good marriage.
TL_TRIBUNAL: how is it a good marraige if one is cheating? Are you actually serious?
roostertree: >how is it a good marraige \[sic\] if one is cheating?
You are *so close* to getting it.
OP claimed he was in a good marriage. Everyone agreeing that his wife screwed up their good marriage by planning to leave. I'm saying it's not a good marriage b/c "no one leaves a good marriage", therefore A) wife didn't screw up anything, and B) OP did not share all the details since he thinks it was a good marriage.
TL_TRIBUNAL: Good marraige :*exists*
OP's wife : *cheats*
You: Ops wife didnt screw up anything. OP left a good marriage.
roostertree: Good marriage : *a marriage at zero risk of separation/divorce; i.e. not OP's*
OP's wife : *cheats b/c she believes she isn't in a good marriage, therefore she isn't*
Me : OP's wife didn't screw up anything, b/c the marriage was already screwed up
FTFY
No one cheats while in a marriage that they think is good.
TL_TRIBUNAL: So cheating is an option for you instead of actual discussions? I am happy I haven't met you in real life and I am sure the feelings are reciprocated.
roostertree: >So cheating is an option
I said she didn't screw up a good marriage b/c it was already in the dumper. Cheating is not "good". She has tainted her reputation, that's all. So don't put words in my mouth.
>instead of actual discussions
As I have contended from my first comment: OP didn't tell us the whole story. If you're a sucker for an incomplete story of events, then you're as deluded as OP thinking he was "in a good marriage".
Funny thing, this difference of opinion isn't a friendship-ender. At least for me (though I wouldn't go into business with you or OP or his soon-to-be ex-wife). People make their own decisions, make their own mistakes. IMO it doesn't make them a 100% throwaway person and cancelable.
TL_TRIBUNAL: ok
| 17 | 278.823529 | |
1657089996 | 1657125741 | t3_vsjkkz | t5_2to41 | 18 | katyatt: TIFU by leaving my controlled medication in a foreign country
The past few days I’ve been in London (I’m from the US) with my girlfriend as a graduation present from my parents. It’s the first time I’ve ever left the country & it’s been a really great experience! Everything has gone exceptionally well… until this morning. We woke up around 4am to get the airport, so we were both really tired, but thankfully we had packed last night so we just got our stuff and left.
Well, about an hour ago we made it through security, and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I left one of my three medications in our room. And of course, I left my Adderall. A controlled substance that I can only pick up every 30 days. Which I picked up last week.
The hotel is aware and they have it at the front desk, but they obviously can’t ship it. I’m going to have to call my insurance company and spend all day on the phone with them on Thursday & Friday and figure out what kind of documentation they would need to do an override and let me get another Rx early.
I find it ironic & kind of funny that I forgot my ADHD meds of all things, but now I get to go who knows how long until I have my meds again.
TL;DR I’m a dingdong and left my adderall in a hotel, and realized it right before my flight back home
RetroReactiveRuckus: Why would you take an entire months script on a few days trip?
katyatt: I don’t have a pill container and I stupidly didn’t think to get one before this trip🙃Its also just a habit; I visit my parents every so often & sometimes end up staying longer than I initially plan to, so I just pack the bottle for each medication to avoid running out
RetroReactiveRuckus: Ahhh that's quite unfortunate! I was just curious.
Good luck dealing with your insurance!
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1657094680 | 1657130645 | t3_vskoe9 | t5_2to41 | 45 | MonoplegicBookNerd: TIFU by Not Double Checking An Item Went Through Correctly
I have been working as a cashier for this company for a little under two weeks. This company has many store locations and today I was working at one that Ii had not worked at previously. About two hours into my shift I was asked to stay later and I agreed. My other co-worker had a 5 hour shift while I had a 9 hour one. His shift ends and he leaves and I'm left in the store *alone*. I'm cashing someone out and the items will not scan the typical way so I had to type in the code. After the customers left I realized that apparently one of the items I had to type a code in for didn't register. I ended up paying the 20$ for the item myself and *hopefully* my mistake will not be noticed.
All in all not the biggest F up ever but I still effectively lost 20$ :(
TL;DR I screwed up at work and lost 20$.
ban_circumcision_now: I would wonder if the item not registered means the register was over $20.
Mistakes happen, an accidental $20 loss from a failure to scan an item is unlikely to ruin any decent managers day
You didn’t need to refund the cash but at this point I’d likely just move on and not bring it up
MonoplegicBookNerd: Yeah that's what I'm planning to do. I payed for it out of pocket for inventory reasons and so they *hopefully* never find out I made that mistake in the first place which they won't unless those people come back and point out the mistake which I sincerely hope they don't .
Ok_Income_5108: Your inventory isn't off, because you never scanned the item.
Unless you created a new transaction, hand scanned the item, paid for it-- your company has extra cash but no wrong inventory.
Your concern is slightly misplaced.
| 4 | 11.25 | |
1657095916 | 1657100846 | t3_vskyjb | t5_2to41 | 5 | Eastern_Cover_7785: TIFU by confessing something to my friend
I have been in love with my friend (we’re both 16f) for years now. If I had to choose between her and my family, I would probably choose her.
Last night I was drunk. Because I’m currently doing an exchange in a foreign country, I haven’t seen her for a few weeks and really miss her.
So I started sending messages to her saying I love her and she’s my number one in the whole world.
The last message I sent her was ”You would hate my if you knew” and for some reason I had just went to sleep after that, not clarifying anything.
Today I woke up to her message asking if I meant she would ”hate you because you like me or my crush” and I just answered I don’t like her crush but ignored the other part. She hasn’t answered yet. I think I fucked up.
TL;DR I confessed my best friend I’m in love with her and she hasn’t answered yet
LoneWolf_77: I'm curious about the updates on this one
Eastern_Cover_7785: one of her tiktoks came to my fyp and she has hickeys soooo
she has been saying for a week now that she has something to tell me but has never actually told me what it is so ig i figured what she hs been hiding
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657099244 | 1657514397 | t3_vslrhh | t5_2to41 | 48,997 | SignMeOutNow: TIFU learning sign language
[Update.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/vzli1b/tifu_learning_sign_language_update)
Throwaway account.
My mom's been involved with this new guy for a few months now. To be fair, enough time has passed for me to stop referring to him as the new guy, but he's not my dad and I guess that will always make him feel like the new guy. According to movie logic, I'm supposed to hate him for trying to replace my father or whatever, but the truth is, I like him. I like him so much that I've been learning how to use sign language to improve our communication because new guy happens to be Deaf.
He can read lips, which is how I've been communicating with him. My mom didn't waste any time learning sign language at the beginning of their romance and she's at the point now where she can have full conversations without using her voice. I was really proud of her and so was new guy. I'm not on their level yet, but I've had enough practice to follow a conversation that's not too complicated. My plan was to surprise new guy on his birthday, which is 2 months from now, and wish him a happy birthday as well as officially welcoming him to the family in sign language.
However, I never factored in the amount of dirty talk my mom and new guy were having in sign language. Not knowing that I can understand them, my mom and new guy have gotten disturbingly comfortable exposing their sex life in my company. It didn't matter if we were at the dinner table or watching tv, I would constantly catch so many dirty descriptions being communicated between the two of them. They are worse than horny teenagers, and I should know, I am one. No 17 year old son should ever witness his mother use her fingers to demonstrate how wet her vagina is.
It's gotten to the point where I'm no longer willing to wait until new guy's birthday to make it known that I can understand sign language because HOLY FUCK I need my eyes to not see this shit anymore.
This is an ongoing fuck up.
**Tl:dr The guy my mom's dating is Deaf. Because I like the dude, I decided to learn sign language in secret and was planning to surprise him on his upcoming birthday by communicating in sign language. Little did I know that secretly understanding sign language would expose me to disturbingly intimate conversations between my mom and the new man in her life.**
AT-ATsAsshole: Start dirty talking new guy. Establish your place as Alpha.
SignMeOutNow: "I was there the day that vagina was at its wettest"
Alpha mode engaged.
WaldoSAMA: Dude.
pickle_pouch: Bro
MiLKK_: Broski
brujaaH_: Bruh
turnturnburn: Broseph
bobsmith93: Bronana
DangerMacAwesome: Broccoli
minstrelguy: Broseidon, lord of the Brocean
robot-kun: Broptimus Prime
_g550_: ConquiftaBRO
TheScottymo: A-Bro-ham Lincoln
doubleOsev: Bromine
PinBot1138: Guv’nr!
doubleOsev: Wrong answer mf try again
AngrySouthernHippie: Come again mate?
doubleOsev: BROTATO
AngrySouthernHippie: BRAHTWURST
mageshsridhar: Broda
GMLOGAN97: Brobi-Wan Kenobi
| 22 | 2,227.136364 | |
1657102826 | 1657103297 | t3_vsmnw5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Actual_Volume_1542: TIFU by cheating on my current partner.
I fucked up and I cheated on my first ever serious relationship which is a LDR.
I was a sort of recluse with no social life and that resulted in me being overly attached to my partner, making them my only source of happiness.
A few months ago, my partner and I hit a new low in our relationship and we were constantly on and off.
They said things they didn't mean, did things without thinking and it broke me.
I swore to myself I wouldn't put myself in that place again and I started having a grudge on them and that went over the line. My friends told me it was because of my overdependence on them, suggested me to put myself out there more often.
I started going out, going to parties, started drinking.
I met this guy at one such party, we exchanged contacts and I slept with him at two parties after that.
The first time I cheated, I had no remorse, no guilt. I thought we were going to end things anyway and that they or I wouldn't care less because we weren't on good terms and wouldn't talk except for the basic greeting texts.
The second time, it hit me. My partner and I had talked things out and they were starting to change themselves, constantly trying, making an effort.
It hit me and I couldn't bring myself to tell them.
I cut off everyone related to that guy, cut off contact with him and stopped going out.
My partner and I are going really good now. We have been better than we have ever been. No walking on egg shells, no being on each other's throats everyday, nothing of the sort.
But now, the guilt is eating me alive everyday.
They don't know I have cheated on them and I am terrified of losing them or
letting them go without telling them the reason why and breaking their heart or
letting them go by telling them the reason why and breaking their heart.
They are too good for me and I cannot bring myself to tell them anything. Everyday, as they go about their everyday life, it passes my mind and I cannot hate myself more than I've ever did. I have become me the exact sort of person I loathed and I will live with this forever.
TL;DR I cheated on my current partner, things are going really well now and I don't know how to confess to them or let them go without breaking their heart. This guilt is eating me alive everyday.
Dootbooter: Yeah and that guilt will probably never go away until you tell them and when you do it's over.
Actual_Volume_1542: You're right, it's either one or the other
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1657108146 | 1657116614 | t3_vso4eo | t5_2to41 | 11 | dowsemeinbleach: TIFU by staying at home
obligatory this didn’t happen today but it may well have done as the memory still haunts me.
also a throwaway account, I am new to reddit and am autistic so please be kind to me.
If you have any criticisms and stuff please let me know and I will do my best to correct my mistakes.
So I (21 F) was around 10/11 when this happened.
My mum was taking my siblings somewhere and I was going to go with them, which meant my dad was home alone. But I got to the car and had a change of heart so decided to stay at home.
This was a big mistake.
I came through the door quietly; this is because my dad gets angry quickly and will shout at you if you dare make a sound.
For context, you have the utility area where the door is, then the kitchen/dining and then the study area. You can see clearly from one end to the other.
And what did I see as I walked in?
My dad, standing up, masturbating whilst watching porn.
I went upstairs and cried whilst trying to clear my mind of this image. I couldn’t go near him for months afterwards without seeing this horror. He still doesn’t know what I saw.
Tl;dr I changed my mind and stayed home, silently came in and saw my dad masturbating whilst watching porn.
The-Stranger2018: As a child probably hard to unsee, however a a grown up you will understand its what a lot of adults do. He thought house was empty for once and went for it.
dowsemeinbleach: yeah i mean don’t get me wrong, i know it’s completely normal and healthy, and knew this at that age too. It’s just uncomfortable to see your dad doing it.
But this is why it’s my fuck up as it’s not his fault as, like you said, he thought the house was empty. Although I don’t think my mum had even driven off yet and almost always someone goes back in the house because they’ve forgotten something so idk
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1657109591 | 1657119069 | t3_vsokyh | t5_2to41 | 16 | ZaevaSarain: TIFU by talking to my MiL about Roe v. Wade
To start, I usually don’t discuss politics with family, especially extended family. But it was a rough day. I’m struggling with this and frankly feel quite sick.
I’m a PhD student in psychology and I work in a forensic mental health hospital where most of the patients are either incompetent to proceed or not guilty by reason of insanity on a criminal case of some sort. The most common crime, by the way, is assault on an officer because in this state cursing at or yelling at a cop can be deemed assault. Anyhoo,
I legitimately had to have a conversation with a supervisor today over if a young female is raped by another patient or staff member, does she have a choice? Turns out we don’t think she will. Shit, she got her rights taken but the man did not. At the very least, she is definitely not protected from repercussions. So, I suppose we literally restrain her 9 months and force her to carry and birth a baby she doesn’t want that will have nowhere to go but into the system? Just like she was. It will ruin her. It will destroy her body and her mind. If you think this young woman’s life won’t be ruined by this you are mistaken. If she is recovering right now, she will stop. She will backslide. She will break. And if you think this child will have a good life, you’re most likely mistaken there too. It will go into the system, most likely to be abused as many are, and extremelyyyyy likely to inherit the mother’s mental illness. In other words, see you in 18 years I guess.
I then drive my 2 hours home to my husband and two year old daughter. And mother-in-law who is staying with us for the week….for the most part she is fine. But coming home from that conversation had me pretty stirred up. I have a daughter ffs. An innocent, sweet little girl. During the telling of this patient’s story, my mother in law chimes in with her pro-life speeches and I end up trying to logically discuss the issue but obviously that didn’t work. It was stupid, I know, but I was so shaken already I couldn’t not fight back.
1 highlight of the conversation:
MiL: I had an abortion when I was younger and it screwed up my mental health
Me: If that’s that case, I’m very sorry you went through that but you are the minority. Research actually shows that 99% of women who terminate are not negatively impacted and in fact don’t regret the decision at all.
Her: Well I believe it’s wrong. Now if I was in the same state of mind back then I probably would have made the same choice.
Me: 🫣But if you had an abortion and realize it was better for you and would do it again, how can you take that choice away from someone else when you have no idea what they’re life is?
Her: Every baby deserves to be born.
Me: 🫣🫣ok
Tldr; I had to have a real conversation my supervisor about a female mental health hospital inmate’s right to choose if she wanted to keep a rape baby. Come home to my mother in law arguing in support for the overturn of Roe v. Wade.
A good source for real information: https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/abortion.html
P.S. sorry for formatting issues I’m posting from mobile
Hellsbellsbeans: Wow, her argument basically is she got to make a choice and somewhat feels bad about it, so she believes no woman may ever have a choice again, regardless of their circumstances (rape, viability, mental health etc.)
I hate the hypocritics most of all.
Agret_Brisignr: Rules for thee, not for me
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1657108049 | 1657224340 | t3_vso3es | t5_2to41 | 125 | somebodysomewhere5: TIFU by telling my sister (16) that there wont be new Ice age sequel
English isn't my first language so I'm apologizing in advance. This happened half an hour ago.
My sister and mom wanted to watch a cartoon later and tried to decide which one while I was getting ready for work. After some time they changed topics and started discussing sequels and which cartoon's sequel is more likely to came up next. I joined and told them that there surely wont be new Ice age sequel because the BlueSky studios closed down. My sister was shocked and asked me am I sure, which I confirmed and added that they even published video of quirrel finally eating that acorn as goodbye. I was sure she already knew that because she is spending so much time on Instagram and always up to date with new cartoons and movies. Anyway, SHE. STARTED. CRYING.
I knew she liked Ice age, she was always watching that cartoon and sequels over and over again when she was younger, but I really didn't expect this reaction. She is always acting tough and like she knows everything so she doesn't need my help with certain things anymore. Mom laughed at her in disbelief, too. I apologized, told her that I thought she knew that, but the damage was already done. The problem was that I needed to go or I would miss my train, so I left them like that. I even have didn't have time to console her (I don't know would she let me).
Now I'm on my train, writing this, thinking about cartoons, Ice age, my sister who isn't as tough as I thought and what should I buy her as apology. What a stupid way to FU.
Tl;dr: the title: she didn't know that BluSky studios closed, I told her, she started crying and I could console her because I had to go to work.
rolandtgs: Buy her a stuffed quirrel and remind her that she is 16.
HandoJobrissian: Stuffed squirrel yes, bringing up age for literally no reason no.
Emotions exist at every age, sorry to break that one to you before you found out the hard way. Most of the time a breakdown like this isn't the direct result of any one thing either, but a number of factors putting pressure on a person's emotional state until that last little ounce needed to break everything is dropped on top.
Kindness is what's needed when a human being is upset. Not condescension.
rolandtgs: You talk about condescension and then use a line like "sorry to break that one to you before you found out the hard way."
There was no explanation in the post about extraneous reasons for this (as you describe) "breakdown".
She's a 16 year old crying because she won't get to see a sequel to an animated movie.
Suck it up buttercup.
HandoJobrissian: My guy you forgot your own wife's birthday, no one should be taking interpersonal advice from you.
rolandtgs: Holy fuck! Really? How far back in my timeline did you have to search for that?
Get a life.
HandoJobrissian: It's literally the 3rd thing in your post history and you've only been on reddit for like a year. I don't think I even put in half a second of effort. Welcome to reddit.
rolandtgs: The point is, you put in time and effort for that. Pathetic.
MightyCockins: Dawg the hypocrisy.... focus on your own life first before trying to discipline a kid.
rolandtgs: And where the fuck did I say anything about discipline? Fuck, try reading next time.
| 10 | 12.5 | |
1657110138 | 1657163925 | t3_vsor5z | t5_2to41 | 2,606 | sippen730: TIFU by trying to get a day off school.
This happened earlier this year. I was still in high school and had gotten called in for army draft selection. I had gotten sick the day i was supposed to go, so i called the military
The lady on the phone started to ask me if I was motivated. I started thinking, and figured i was never gonna get picked and it would be more fun than a day in school, so i said yes. She then signed me up for a different day.
yea so i ended up getting picked. I was trying to play a bit on some health issues but nah, you'll be fine they said. I didn't get a pick either, so i have to go to the most cold and desolate area in my country, and i risk prison if i dont show up.
Trading one day of school for an full military service gotta be one of the stupidest mistakes of my life.
TL;DR: went to draft pickings to avoid school for a day. Was drafted into the army.
Splyce123: Which crazy ass country do you live in where you can't just back out of this?
sippen730: Norway-_-
They are really strict about it. If they deem you fit you have no choice
killerkebab1499: According to a quick wiki search
> While 62,873 men and women were called in for the examination of persons liable for military service in 2010 (mandatory for men), 9,631 were conscripted. In practice recruits are not forced to serve, instead only those who are motivated are selected
[Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Armed_Forces)
Is this info wrong? Or because you went directly to them were you considered "motivated"?
sippen730: That info is correct, but i wasn't given a choice. I know you usually have a conversation if you wanna do it but i wasn't given that. I think it's because I live in a part of the country where they want people from really badly or something. They have a base which just has people from my part of the country.
Feels kinda discriminatory ngl.
The draft picks were also unusual. It may have something with ukraine or something. I have no clue really.
My conversation was just "yeah dude you're getting drafted".
Ktulu789: Sooo. From the wiki article cited, there it says the word "motivated" and you said in your op that they asked you if you were "motivated" before rearranging your new date. I understand that you answering "yes" to that, was binding right from that moment and hence your were given the "conversation" where you could choose.
sippen730: Not quite we just changed the appointment. Others in my batch had the same experience.
But maybe you have a point actually. Doesn't change the fact that i was a clown🤡
Ktulu789: Maybe it's an euphemism they use to catch people. The word is used slightly out of context.
They asked "Are you motivated [to enlist]?" And you took it in your context of "Yes, I'm motivated [to do the interview]".
They then ticked the checkbox in your form where it said "motivated to enlist"... "Cause that's what you said". They suck. But they have to get some people to join "willingly", sadly. I feel you.
Bot25491: Yup.
| 9 | 289.555556 | |
1657110162 | 1657117615 | t3_vsorfp | t5_2to41 | -1 | ExistingDoughnut7265: TIFU by wanting to talk with my boyfriend
Whenever we have a problem, I always try to talk and solve it. I always thought communication is important in a relationship, that's why I'm always honest with him and tell him what I think, so we can get to solve our problems.
But he's not like me, he doesn't like talking about our problems, and whenever we have an argument or disagree in something he always turn around and won't talk to me until he forgets it. (this happens too when I have my own problems, nothing to be with him, and try to tell him how I feel)
By the time he forgets it, I'm actually mad because I'm not able to forget it until we solve it. And he gets mad too because "I can't get over it". That's why I bring the argument again in the most random situations, as I never forgot it. (that's actually my bad, I'm stupid and can't hold the things I think)
He's spending some days at my place. Today I brought again another argument we "had" yesterday, which wasn't an argument because we been all the time in silence, as he likes, because if I tell him that talking about it helps me, he will just say "and why do we have to do what you want?". I mean, he's right, we don't need to do what I want, but if he's fed up of me bringing over and over again the same argument, we should just talk about it. (i need to make clear that our arguments are never screaming or insulting each other, I could never scream at him)
He left my home and said he was going to buy an energetic and hasn't come back still.
I don't know what to think anymore, I know I'm not doing it perfectly, and I'm not the best girlfriend ever as I'm really insecure, but I just need to talk...
(sorry for my English btw)
TL;DR I wanted to talk with my boyfriend about an argument we had yesterday. He didn't want to talk and left my home. He hasn't come back still.
ConferenceOk1110: Oh this is going to be fun. I think this is a classic men vs women thing.
ExistingDoughnut7265: Facts, and I don't really know how to deal with it
ConferenceOk1110: Me neither. Sorry. It's just that your situation sounds very familiar.
This is one of those differences that I think are just ingrained in personalities or perhaps genders and cannot or are very hard to change.
You need to find a way to live with it I think.
| 4 | -0.25 | |
1657113381 | 1657121099 | t3_vspt83 | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: Tifu a papaya
[removed]
sileotumen: Jesus Christ, get a fleshlight sir
ken-d00: That sounds like a worthy investment alright.
[deleted]: Had one and I could not stand that rubber smell mixed with cum plus a papaya smells good and feels even better!
SpidudeToo: Bro you're supposed to wash it
[deleted]: Why?
SpidudeToo: So it doesn't smell bad? So it doesn't get crusty and disgusting? So you don't give yourself an STD by letting bacteria and mold grow inside of it? Do you not know how to take care of yourself? Do you even wash your junk in the shower properly? Your replies are concerning at this point.
| 7 | 3.714286 | |
1657112348 | 1657114957 | t3_vspg8k | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing high heels to a wedding
[deleted]
ForkShirtUp: Do people just wake up and know how to walk with high heels? I always assumed it's a gradual process of balance like riding a bike with no training wheels. You can't just buy them and then only wear them the day of the event right?
I ask because when I went shoe shopping with my gf who was at the time like 17 or 18 and her mother insisted on heels also. Well we saw her struggle with trying to walk with them and abandoned that idea in the store quickly lest she fall and crack her head.
grabityrises: different people different talents
if you are used to walking more on the balls of your feet then heels are going to be easier
but if you are a heel striker you will likely struggle more
also how strong your ankles are will be a big deal
and dont start out on stillettos.
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1657115120 | 1657116617 | t3_vsqebc | t5_2to41 | 5 | Hustler_Player_Pimp: TIFU By Not Calling My Employer For My Wages!
[removed]
Anotherdude342: Yeah, this is totally believable shit posting
Hustler_Player_Pimp: Beyoncé got her record deal when she was 9. Aaliyah got her record deal when she was 9 ; look it up. It’s not uncommon in the music industry to hire young talent. I could get banned for “shit posting.” Why would I jeopardize that for a shitty laugh?
Anotherdude342: Cool man, cool.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1657118029 | 1657128310 | t3_vsrfl2 | t5_2to41 | 7 | throwaway9328788888: TIFU by me 15f hooking up with 21m
[removed]
TheMan5991: Clearly, the only solution here is to continue to lie about your age for the rest of your life. Get married, have kids, and make sure he never sees any actual documents about you so that you can continue to be 3 years older in his mind.
Edit: I have a feeling people are taking this comment seriously. I thought I made it ridiculous enough, but I guess not.
Eyes_and_teeth: [Poe's Law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law) will get you every time.
TheMan5991: Too true
JimmiRustle: No that article says “by *some* readers”
In my experience it’s everyone and their uncle. Absolutely nobody understands humour.
If Americans understood Danish y’all would be horrified by what goes on at /r/Denmark because at least half of the posts are taking a piss.
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1657120848 | 1657600473 | t3_vsshjt | t5_2to41 | 7,830 | heildirimsiegerkranz: TIFU by clicking “permission to enter” by accident
So I needed maintenance done in my apartment in which my girlfriend and I co-habit.
Anyway when I filled out the form, I was prompted to fill out “permission to enter” and I thought “well no shit you gotta enter to fix the damn issues right.”
So my girlfriend and I did the dirty one night and we slept naked.
I heard a door open and I just assumed it was the neighbors, but then the door to my girlfriend’s bedroom (next to mine) creaked open.
At this point I was kinda spooked and said “oh shit it’s a ghost.”
Then suddenly the door to MY bedroom swung open and I was greeted by the assistant building manager/maintenance guy.
I called out “can I have a minute” while my girlfriend was hiding underneath the covers. and it was my saving grace he did not poke his head in.
So I got dressed and he was sitting at my dining table as happy as a clam, probably trying to not laugh his ass off.
TLDR - gave permission to enter, building manager caught girlfriend and I in bed naked
Edit 1: wow thanks for the responses! We live in a two bedroom apartment because we’re just college students with somewhat conservative parents - so they’ll let us live together but they’d prefer for us to sleep in different rooms
Edit 2: now she’s an ex and we live in the same suite
Real_Jackraps: Did they not expect you to be there? Who just opens bed room doors that's kinda weird even with permission. I guess they thought you were at work or something. Oh well, no harm no foul.
Magnaflux_88: My guess is that people usually only check the box if they know they're gonna be out. So having permission would mean, by experience, they are probably entering a vacant apartment. Maybe they got tired of saying goodmorning and no one saying it back :(.
macarenamobster: I dunno, my place beats on the door screaming “MAINTENANCE” like they’ve gone deaf, but I suspect that comes from not wanting to walk in on people.
Tough_Hawk_3867: Had a couple guys beat my door for 5 minutes, while i was 8 hours away lol. Dude, relax
kyl792: How do you know if you were 8 hours away?
Tough_Hawk_3867: Security cam binged me
robotnique: Somebody used bing as a verb! The day has arrived!
| 8 | 978.75 | |
1657122838 | 1659876040 | t3_vst8p3 | t5_2to41 | 14 | iwouldlikesometacoss: TIFU by eating ice cream at work
I'm 14F and just started my first job at an A&W near my childhood home. I'm a trainee and today is my second day of training.
there has been something wrong with the ice cream machine, it's been like that for awhile. this morning when I came in, two of my coworkers were trying to see if it was working properly. putting cups underneath the dispenser and letting the ice cream flow out.
when one of my coworkers filled the cup with the swirl ice cream to make sure it worked, I asked him to give me the cup, since I wanted some ice cream and I hadn't had breakfast this morning. it tasted really nice. rich, creamy, ice cream is the tastiest thing I have had all week.
halfway through finishing the small cup of ice cream I remembered that I picked the short stick in every aspect of genetics: short for my age, slow metabolism, others, and lactose intolerance. and soon my stomach starts to feel not so good.
I'm writing this on the toilet as I regret all of my decisions leading up to this point
TL;DR: I ate ice cream at work, I'm lactose intolerant, I spent 30 minutes on the toilet because of it.
Spiritual-Custard-51: I want to think 14F is a typo?
iwouldlikesometacoss: nope, started my job at 14, I'm 15 currently
Spiritual-Custard-51: Kudos on starting this young then!
iwouldlikesometacoss: thanks :)
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1657126078 | 1657134409 | t3_vsuihc | t5_2to41 | 21 | semihhuzun1: TIFU by losing a big amount of money out of my pockets by dropping it next to my girlfriend
I met up with my gf at her part of the city we live in and we had a great date. At the end of the day while waiting for the bus (we were sitting next to each other) I realised I have lost all the money in my pockets it was like 150 Turkish liras.I was furious because I've never done such thing and I am too carefull about these things.I tried to act cool but I could see she was sad because she thought it was because of her (she bought a couple things and I wanted to pay for it, when I got the change I must have put the money really sloppy on my pockets and she said this wouldn't happen if she paid for them) I felt like I fucked up a really good date.I could have done a lot with that money... Knowing that makes me mad too.
And we both are 18. So yeah my only income is my parents because I am a student.
TL;DR The title speaks for itself.
JetsetCat: She sounds like a nice person.
semihhuzun1: She is!! I am totally in love with her.
Pure-Understanding50: This is sarcasm, right.
semihhuzun1: Naah she is actually a really good person.
Pure-Understanding50: Oh, sorry. I must have not read the post correctly.
semihhuzun1: No problem my guy no need to sorry.
| 7 | 3 | |
1657127831 | 1657130201 | t3_vsv78c | t5_2to41 | 5 | FatCakeEater: TIFU by time travelling to WWII
[removed]
Disastrous_Name161: You should consider doing less drugs
FatCakeEater: What are drugs
MuddaPuckPace: You should consider eating less cake.
FatCakeEater: But I like cake
| 5 | 1 | |
1657127733 | 1657135465 | t3_vsv5vh | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by probably losing my best customer
Throwaway because my main account uses my real name.
I’m a server in a small cafe in the northeastern part of the US, just a short walk away from an industrial park. For the past 2 years or so, we’ve had a truck driver who delivers to one of the warehouses on a pretty regular basis. During the hour or so it takes them to unload his truck, he comes over for breakfast.
Our nickname for him is “20 ‘n art” (context later on). About the only thing we know personally about him is he’s from somewhere down south, as he speaks with a very thick accent.
He’s a younger guy, maybe not conventionally attractive and just a bit shy and socially awkward. But he’s very polite, never complains, never makes a mess, never tries to flirt or make inappropriate comments, (unlike some of the other truckers we get in here) always orders one of the same handful of dishes, then tips $20 on checks of around $10-12. As a server, you literally could not ask for a better regular.
He also carries a sketch book with him and draws while he waits for his food. Folks, this guy can draw any cartoon/comic/tv character you’ve ever seen with absolutely UNREAL accuracy. We actually suspected his pictures were tracings until one day our morning cook asked him how to show us how draw Patrick Star, which the driver delightedly obliged. Our whole crew (me, 3 other servers, cook, dishwasher) always enthusiastically look forward to seeing what he’s drawn once he leaves. It’s always something funny or encouraging. In fact, I’m pretty sure he could quote 3 or 4 tv series in their entirety and draw every scene from them perfectly. He always leaves his table with neatly stacked dishes and his drawing wrapped in a $20 bill, hence the nickname “20 ‘n art.” Between the 4 of us servers, we estimate that he’s left us over $1,000 in tips over the last couple of years.
Today I was up next in the rotation when he came in. Taking his order always consists of a simple “The usual?” followed by his drawling “Yes, ma’am.”
I head back to the kitchen and meet our newest server who just started this week and the cook. Our whole exchange goes something like this:
Me to cook: “20 ‘n art is here.”
Cook : “Got it.”
New girl: “What’s that?”
Cook: “The country boy.”
New girl: “…”
Me: “That little ugly creep in my section.”
Unbeknownst to me is that the kitchen door was slightly open. 20 ‘n art was well within earshot of us and heard the whole conversation. He never looked up from his sketch book, but he stopped drawing and the most hurt and anguished look I’ve ever seen on a human being swept over his face. I felt absolutely disgusted with myself for letting such a terrible remark come out of my mouth. I couldn’t even think of anything to say to him to make this situation right. My heart was in my throat and I was literally trembling both times I walked to his table afterwards. He never said a word, just sat there and ate his breakfast. This kind soul was alone and nearly in tears, yet I couldn’t be a big enough person in the moment to say so much as “I’m sorry.”
Despite it all, he still left his usual $20 tip, but no drawing. He paid his check and walked dejectedly back over to his truck. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. How could I have said such an abhorrent thing, whether I thought it was in private conversation or not?
I’m so angry and sickened with myself that I could ever hurt another person so badly. Especially such a kindhearted individual like him. The guy does one of the loneliest and most depressing jobs out there, yet still makes the time and effort to make us smile whenever he sees us. Now me and my big mouth have caused him an unimaginable amount of pain.
Driver, if by some miracle you’re out there and read this, please forgive me. I don’t expect or deserve your business again, but you brought us all an incredible amount of joy and laughter. I could never put into words how deeply sorry I am for what I said. You are really a ray of light in this dark world, and you didn’t deserve to have such a nasty, cruel, untrue thing said about you. My remark was not who I am and not how I feel about you. Even if I never see you again, I can only hope and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I am so, so sorry.
TL;DR: Server makes a totally uncalled for mean comment about her best regular customer. Customer overhears it and is absolutely devastated.
Ok_Tale_933: I have the feeling that remark better describes you.
Freakeh420: agreed!
guaranteed they only care cause they're losing out on a guaranteed 20$ tip. Why would he even wanna go back?
Ok_Tale_933: Right they didn't post TIFU and hurt someones feelings, and they only feel bad because the person heard them. Which in my mind suggests they talk like that about people behind closed doors all the time.
Freakeh420: yup, agreed. Like seriously, you call the dude a creep, you think he hears you and then you go make a post explaining yourself, and confirming you called him a creep to the world.. Way to double down and try to garner sympathy from strangers.
| 5 | 6.2 | |
1657198839 | 1657325640 | t3_vsvl7s | t5_2to41 | 23 | Thicc_Jedi: You're being downvoted because the person you're ranting at has a *human child* as well as a dog. They also said that human children are like dogs, not the other way around.
In summation, you are loud and wrong. Next time save it for your journal.
hexrei: Oh wow I feel so put in my place, fat spacewizard
Thicc_Jedi: You're welcome
LadyBug_0570: Don't let them fat shame you. You're thicc... not thick. There's a difference.
hexrei: I dont even know that this person is fat, I was just responding in assholish kind. I guess you are probably fat though.
LadyBug_0570: Ummm... it was a joke? I thought we were having fun here.
Or are you the only person allowed to make a joke?
hexrei: I am fine with your jokes all day long :)
LadyBug_0570: Cool. I'll keep them coming then.
hexrei: Looking at your post history you are a serious weirdo
LadyBug_0570: Am I? Okay
hexrei: oh yes
hexrei: I kinda like it tho
LadyBug_0570: LOL...
Are you flirting with me? 😁
hexrei: Maaaaaaybe :)
LadyBug_0570: Oooooh! 😉
Just wondering... what made me a weirdo? Was it the Doctor who post about Jesus being a time Lord? Or when my cat Sunshine took over my computer on the r/AITC board?
Not that I'm about to change or anything. I'd just like to know.
hexrei: All of the above, you are a handfull clearly!
LadyBug_0570: Okay, but... in my defense, Sunshine did take over my computer. I was in the shower, I swear!
Also, I made an outstanding argument on how Jesus could be a Time Lord. If we were in a court of law, I could make the argument (not that I'm an attorney but the argument could be made).
| 17 | 1.352941 | |
1657132164 | 1657134285 | t3_vsww0g | t5_2to41 | 30 | skully626: TIFU by messing up my chances with a girl I really like
BTW, this happened over the span of around 2 months up until today
So me and this girl have been talking over Snapchat for a couple weeks and we decided to go out and we had a really good time, the next day she went away for a week on holiday and said she would miss me.
We nonstop texted for weeks after that and went out a few times, but then out of nowhere, we stopped talking as much. At that point we had been talking for 2 months so I was obviously confused.
I asked her about it and she responded a couple days later basically saying that she had lost interest but still wanted to be friends.
I'm laying on my bed just pissed that I didn't make a move earlier.
Tldr: I waited too long to properly make a move on a girl and now she's lost interest.
Accomplished-Yak8584: Dude. Don't be so hard on yourself. Pull yourself up n move on. She's probably lesbian anyway
Burmina: Was ready to upvote until the lesbian comment. Dude, that's ridiculous. Grow up.
| 3 | 10 | |
1657132391 | 1657196809 | t3_vswz5x | t5_2to41 | 258 | TennaTelwan: TIFU by sending dead flowers to my aunt
Happened last week. My father comes from one of those large Catholic families were there are a ton of cousins and siblings. He also shares a birthday with his older sister. The siblings all are spread between multiple states and time zones, so it's rare to meet in person to celebrate. And for various reasons, June was one of those hellish months that was so chaotic that normal everyday things were forgot, such as sending a birthday card to my aunt who lives in Vegas.
Currently I live with my parents as caregivers, so often if we have a birthday in the family, I go in with them on a gift. This case, Mom realized we forgot to get a card for my Dad's sister who lives across the country in Vegas, and it was too close to the day to make it in time if we did send one.
So enter my FU. I said, "Well, we could always send flowers, I'll go in on it with you." She agreed and we went online to pick out a small bouquet. A good chunk of money later, we set the delivery date to be the day before my aunt's birthday. We had the option to send it the same day, but did not, so they could be fresher on the actual birthday.
Next day comes and we get the first e-mail that they could not deliver it as no one was home. Twenty minutes later, we get confirmation that someone had accepted the delivery.
On the birthday, the phone calls start. It's a family tradition that on your birthday or a major holiday, if you are not there celebrating in person, you are sent a card as well as get a phone call to wish you a happy birthday. With Dad having four siblings left, it's usually a rather busy day. His younger sister calls and as they are talking we hear that their older sibling, the one that shares a birthday with my father, is in Michigan, and not just for a few days, for a few weeks and even all of my cousins in Vegas flew to Michigan with her. She left the morning the day before their birthday, the day the flowers were later delivered.
But someone had accepted the delivery.
A few years back, this same aunt sent my mother flowers from the same website for her birthday. We were out grocery shopping that day so when we got home, the flowers were on our doorstep with the delivery time noted as being about half an hour prior. So when my aunt finally gets home, she'll either get home to a very dead flower bouquet on her doorstep, or someone will have porch pirated it, because the fresh flowers were left on her doorstep in the Vegas heat. All because flowers seemed the easier choice to send last minute for a birthday gift.
TL;DR: TIFU because I sent flowers to my aunt in Vegas not knowing she had left to visit family across the country for a few weeks.
RSegundo: It would be worst if you had sent flowers to your dead aunt …
dweeb318: Thats how i first (mis)read the title
ReluctantTrucker: Same
rdicky58: Same
Bronzeambient: Same
| 6 | 43 | |
1657135571 | 1657196159 | t3_vsy7as | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting I was using a menstrual cup
[deleted]
MissBlondieeee: You couldnt pay me enough money in the world to get me to try this. Those cups are disgusting
Ok_Tea8204: I don’t know if I could either but that’s cause I hated tampons too… but good for those who like and use them, cheaper I’m sure!
ddollopp: I hated tampons, too. Then I tried the cup once because I had an obstacle course race coming up the same weekend my period was going to arrive (it sure did, right on time), and one of the obstacles involved walking through a pool of water waist-deep. Took me fucking FOREVER to figure out how the cup worked, even after watching YouTube videos, and now I haven't looked back. It really is incredibly convenient.
Ok_Tea8204: Hmm good to know!
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1657135647 | 1657142095 | t3_vsy8cr | t5_2to41 | 7 | vailissia: TIFU by hitting my sister’s car
I got a brand new lease in 2019. She’s my baby and I love her. Never been in an accident. Kept her pristine and perfect for 3 years. My lease is due to expire in 3 days and I was excited to be looking for a new car. The inspector was scheduled to arrive today and I thought I’d go get the car detailed so it would be beautiful for him.
So I backed out of the garage… right into my sister’s expensive ass car. Her doors are fucked. I punctured through the bumper on my car. The inspector got there and was like “ma’am… *sigh*”
So now I get a nice increase in insurance, extra costs on the car, and I might just have to end up buying it instead of getting a new one.
Lesson learned? Make sure to check nobody is parked in your driveway before backing your car out.
EDIT: yes, yes, I know it’s stupid not to check. I checked the sides and forgot the rearview. Still tired from the weekend, fireworks kept the baby up.
In any event, my sister and husband died laughing. I went 3 years without a scratch on the damn and tripped at the finish line. Right on par for me. I’m just a tired mom y’all.
TLDR; lease expires in 3 days and I decided to just ram my sister’s car for giggles I guess.
ThisKiwiKid: You shouldn’t even have a license if you didn’t even look while reversing. What if it was a car park in a supermarket and there was a kid walking past? Just chuck it in reverse and go??
vailissia: Literally didn’t look one time. I have a perfect record with my car. And it was my own driveway. Honestly, 0-100 there bud.
ThisKiwiKid: What if a kid went in your driveway to find his ball or something? Not looking isn’t a good excuse when you kill someone.
You don’t seem to get the severity of your fuck up, not in the sense that you dinged your’s and your sisters’ cars but in the potential consequences from your inactions.
I’d also wager that if you don’t look while reversing out your driveway then it’s happening more that you’re letting on, it should be habit to look while reversing, same as putting on a seatbelt when you get in the car.
Zaneybee2273: Driveway is out of the way of the road, don’t worry. No kids come up or down it, trust me. We grew up there. It’s just a familiar place and people always relax in familiar places. Just psychology, ya know? Doesn’t help I parked in a different spot than I usually do. Trust me when I say she isn’t always like that lol. I nearly fought her multiple times because she’s such a safe driver and I have a lead foot.
vailissia: Oh hey, you found my post 🤣
Zaneybee2273: Yeah I friended you like last year whenever you were pregnant and you wanted to show me your posts
| 7 | 1 | |
1657134061 | 1657304014 | t3_vsxm9t | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking pain medicine on an empty stomach right before having sex.
[deleted]
Slash_Raptor92: Just out of curiousity, what ADHD drug are you on>? I also have ADHD and I take Biphentine, which is a no-name brand of Concerta, I think, because my insurance is stupid and doesn't cover the name brand even though they're literally the same drug. And I don't have no appetite. Maybe you should talk to your doctor and see if you can change to one that won't kill your appetite?
datnosebleed: I’m on Concerta too! I was on vyvanse but it made me hallucinate at night. I could always try adderall but I wanted to save that for last.
Slash_Raptor92: I'm not sure if it's Concerta that I'm on now because I've been calling it Biiphentine for so long I don't remember what it's the no-name brand of anymore, but I know I've been on most of the common pills. Dexedrine, Aderall and Ritalin. But I've never had any side effects from just the ADHD drugs. I haven't heard of Vyvanse, but if it didn't effect your appetite, maybe you could back to that and ask for a sleeping pill to prevent the hallucinations. The hallucinations might still happen, but with my sleeping pill I become a very heavy sleeper, so most nights once I fall asleep I'm out until morning. If you fall asleep fast enough the hallucinations might not time to start.
datnosebleed: That’s a wonderful idea!! Thank you!!!
| 5 | 4.8 | |
1657140734 | 1657238555 | t3_vt0978 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Darthcookie: TIFU by making fun of my dog for getting upset at a lawnmower
On todays’s morning walk my dog and I encountered a guy mowing the lawn.
My dog had never seen a lawnmower before and was puzzled by it, then annoyed and finally upset and started barking at it.
I let him get close (while it was off) so he could sniff around and whatnot. He seemed to not care about the lawnmower anymore and we continued our walk.
On our way back though, he saw the lawnmower again and decided it was his sworn enemy and started barking at it and trying to get close, pulling me with him.
I laughed at him and told him “it’s just a machine Dog, chill” and tried to continue our way back home.
I fucked up because:
1. I forgot Rottweilers are genetically designed to pull carts.
2. I underestimated his rage against the machine.
3. I overestimated the efficacy of the gentle leader.
4. I also forgot I trip over nothing all the time.
And this was [the result](https://imgur.com/a/mDZqIRy)
Ouchie
TLDR; I made fun of my dog and got instant karma-ed.
Benadryl_Cucumbers: Glad I saw step 4. I had an image of your dog retaliating for you laughing at him
Darthcookie: He would never hurt me on purpose, he has knocked me down multiple times though. He’s just not aware at all of how strong he is.
Also, he was so focused on the lawnmower he didn’t even notice I went down 😂
Benadryl_Cucumbers: They're wonderful animals. I had the pleasure of looking after a rottweiler for a short period of time.
At that time, I lived by a marsh around a bay and often took the dog round there for some exercise. I kept him on the lead as there were usually sheep round there. One day however, it seemed the sheep were nowhere to be seen so I thought, "hey, buddy, go stretch your legs!". The very minute I let him go he made a beeline for a nearby mudpit, where a (probably lost) sheep was hiding out. I panicked and ran in after to haul him out. With mud slapped on both human and beast we proceeded to wrestle around. For reference, I'm a fairly small female, so it was quite the effort. It should note, he didn't actually do anything to the poor sheep, just had this kind of demonic fixation. I don't think he knew what to do. Anyway, exhausted, I eventually, won the battle. Definitely not the dog's fault; I should have been more vigilant.
I'm just glad the farmer didn't see the circus act.
Edit: typos
Darthcookie: I’m sorry but that’s hilariously cute, I feel bad for the sheep though, probably got the scare of a life time. My dog is super friendly and he always wants to say hi to everything and everyone (except lawnmowers) but comes on too strong and doesn’t respect personal space at all so people and other animals get spooked.
I’ve seen big manly men go all “Flanders” when they see my dog coming up to them, I love it 😈
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1657141946 | 1657143548 | t3_vt0q72 | t5_2to41 | 11 | bejar1296: TIFU by sleeping with a man as a lesbian
This happened Sunday.
I (23f) recently came out as “lesbian” my sexuality is way more complicated than just that label but it’s the closest one I got. Essentially I’m DTF men but only romantically interested in women so no one outside my close friend group will ever see me with a man again.
WLW dating is anything but easy and I was feeling the need so I got ahold of one of my old hookups, explained the situation and we made plans to meet up this past Sunday. This would be the first time I’ve been with a man since coming out.
We had an okay night. He was battling what he thought was a bad hangover but we got the job done.
Not even 12 hours after leaving I get the call “I just tested positive for covid”
The next morning I also tested positive.
So I believe the lesbian gods are punishing me. First time I sleep with a man since coming out I get covid for the first time ever. And now everything hurts.
TLDR: TIFU by sleeping with a man as a lesbian and got covid as punishment
immenselysleek: You are now a cat flap.
bejar1296: What?
immenselysleek: A cat flap swings both ways darling
bejar1296: So more like one of those special cat door where you can change and lock which way it can and can’t opens lol 😂
immenselysleek: Exactly. I have been labeled this way many times, for me it is accurate.
bejar1296: You person (idk your pronouns lol) have blessed me with the perfect analogy. THANK YOU!!!!
immenselysleek: I'm old skool, pronouns are not an issue but whatever blows your hair back is cool.
| 8 | 1.375 | |
1657142802 | 1657148898 | t3_vt122b | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be cute and not listening to my girlfriend
[removed]
drewed1: It's all fun and games until someone pisses the bed
chilldabpanda: Also, this.
| 3 | 6 | |
1657142913 | 1657181115 | t3_vt13m4 | t5_2to41 | 70 | hwdycoohasmd: TIFU: Having a quickie before work
Happened a couple days ago and this is a throwaway account for anonymity.
Wife (24F) and I (29M) decided to start the day off right by having some fun before she left for work while I stay and work remotely from home.
Just to explain how the fuck up happened, she was on her back with her knees pulled up to her chest and I was on my knees kind of sitting up.
Anyways, we're doing the deed and I was going kind of fast and hard and my ding ding slipped out of her and fell down and lined up perfectly with her back door right as I was thrusting hard again. It all happened so fast that I didn't really realize what happened at first but she let out a loud scream and started crying and holding her area down there in pain.
It was a total accident and I felt so bad cause she said it hurt a lot and I really didn't mean to do that. After a minute or two the pain was getting better and by now she's totally fine and we laugh about it together. She said she couldn't really walk right or sit down long that day when it happened 😬.
Now I make sure to be careful and not go too far out on my thrusts to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Tldr: accidentally sodomized my wife during morning sex.
Exzerofive: Is this a TIFU or a TITA (today I tried anal)? 😂
hwdycoohasmd: Hahaha
Childeater8: r/TITA
| 4 | 17.5 | |
1657144243 | 1657182724 | t3_vt1m73 | t5_2to41 | 82 | Proof_Satisfaction14: TIFU by making a 2600$ payment to my credit card so I can get points on a purchase
Made a 2600$ payment last Wednesday on a credit card, so I could pay off a Marina bill and get some sweet points.
They said funds would be available that Friday, which is when the bill was due. Flash forward to that Friday, they said it would be available on Weds at midnight. Had to borrow 728$ to pay the bill.
Got off work late last night and went for a beer at the local bar around 130am. Card declined. Luckily they know me and will let me pay on Friday.
Called credit card company immediately and they said it would be available at some point today.
Woke up around noon to hear my available balance on my credit card and it said 300$. Called to speak to a representative and they said they decreased my credit limit, by 2300$.
Big kick in the nuts. Don't make big payments on your credit card if you may need the funds!
TL;DR
Made a 2600$ payment to credit card with money I needed. Decreased credit limit by 2300$. Argh.
ManWOaUsername: Had this happen to me. Had a $10k line of credit that was at $7,500.
I wanted to buy an item for $8k, so I put the cash into the credit line, paid it to $0. Then wellsfargo told me they closed my credit line.
Haha. Dick move.
crack_n_tea: Wait they can close a credit line without informing you prior to it? That’s insane to me
ManWOaUsername: They pulled a two-fer move on me. The lowered the limit to almost nothing. I think $500, then notified me they would be closing it. I didn’t go into detail at first just for expediency. This was back in 2017
crack_n_tea: Damn that sucks, I’m sorry to hear that. Did they ever give justification for closing the lane?
ManWOaUsername: The letter to me just said they were closing it. The newspapers said they were getting tight on money.
crack_n_tea: Bogus move, hopefully you’re into better creditors now
| 7 | 11.714286 | |
1657144104 | 1657149449 | t3_vt1kbx | t5_2to41 | 6 | PlaidBoots52: TIFU by doing the mental math i didn't do the other day TODAY
Technically this happened on July 4, 2022.
I ordered pizza from Domino's. I really like their crust. And they don't judge me for my disgusting pizza topping choices, or at least not to my face. Anyways I appreciate you pizza people!
Anyways, I order carry out because they always have a hard time finding my home address. And it was about to RAIN. I didn't want a pizza delivery person being lost in the rain. Carry out it is.
The order was done super fast. Amazing how those ovens work. I had my little mask on and I realized I was the only person there and the worker was the only person there. Now I'm MORTIFIED. I am internally cussing out the upper management and how us retail workers are treated.
I hold out money to her. I'm hoping it's enough for a tip. I did not want to get out my PHONE and I wasn't in the mind space to do math. She was BEWILDERED. She asked me if I wanted a bag. I must have looked confused as I felt. A bag?
It honest to God felt like a record skip tv moment. I paused too long. My face, even though I had on a mask, must have gave me away.
Back info, I have anxiety and ADHD. I'm on new meds right now for my severe depression (i'm fine now) so I've basically been running on what I like to call, autopilot.
I'm already polite. The Mr. Rogers kind of polite. People think it's funny. I guess. Whatever. I have on clean clothes, I am masked (fuck you Kemp for lifting the mask mandate btw) and I have now completed an "outside" task involving people.
Hell! In my head I'm already high-fiving myself for getting FOOD for myself for a few days. I haven't had a full meal in weeks. Been surviving on gummy bears (Jolly Rancher Berries edition) and Coke Zero. Fascinating what the human body can do! Shout out to my organs for not giving out on me!
MOVING ON! In my record skip moment, I rapidly process several thoughts.
*They have bags that fit pizza boxes?? Like the holiday bags? WOAH. I can use that big bag for trash. Now i don't have to buy trash bags for awhile. Hehe! I can't believe I missed the big bags announcement. Wait the next line for me to say was thank you and I leave? A bag? They got holiday bags for pizza boxes now? I can't believe they have holiday bags for pizza boxes when we're s'pose to be using less bags. Woooooooow nobody cares about the earth... I should have brought my re-usable bag. I'm such a fucking idiot.*
She stops my internal monologue and says **FOR YOUR SAUCES.**
I had **2** tiny ranch sauces.
I quickly shake my head no and say THANK YOU \*hand wave\* and I go to leave.
I get stuck at the door. At this point I'm carrying 3 boxes of pizza, a box of little bread bites, and 2 ranch sauces. I'm stuck at the door. *I hate my life I should have stayed at home I wish my mom aborted me I can't believe this is happening why me? It all went wrong? I knew I didn't need food. I still had reese's cups at home. OMFG-*
She shouts, IT'S THE TOP ONE!
I quickly push the TOP ONE and I power walk to the car.
Here is where I fucked up.
I did the math on my order. I spent $34 exactly. I always do the rounding up for the lil charity thing. I tipped $4. 20% is $6.80. I stiffed this lady like $3.
I can never show my face at this Domino's again.
TL;DR I got carry out pizza on July 4th, and only tipped $4 on a $34 order. My mental math was off and I did NOT hit 20% tip area.
missmyrajv: Tipping $4 for carryout pizza is very rare! If this were NTA, def NTA.
Noclue42AW: Most definitely this. I don’t think people generally tip when they pick up.
| 3 | 2 | |
1657145462 | 1657146216 | t3_vt232b | t5_2to41 | 8 | MetalJunkie101: TIFU by "cyber-stalking" a guildie, and now I'm paranoid about getting arrested.
TIFU by mishandling some guild drama. So there's quite a bit of backstory to preface the "TIFU" incident with. It all starts in a little game called World of Warcraft. This has been on-going, but the actual collapse happened this Saturday.
Changing all player names for privacy.
For the small minority of you that are uninitiated with games like WoW, it has user-created communities called guilds. These are groups of people that play together, chat, and try to accomplish tough goals and challenging fights together.
I quickly befriended a girl named Barb in one of these guilds. Leadership went kinda crazy, so Barb and I followed the members who left that guild into a new guild. Shortly after, a discord server was set up. Discord is a voice and text chat application for guildmates to communicate with each other. One of the created text channels was called "RL chat" and a good majority of us posted pictures of ourselves - including myself, Barb, and another of my online friends, Mike. I should also mention that Barb and I discovered we both live in the same state.
After we posted pictures, Barb started mentioning that the two of us should hang out. Mike made a joke about "Awww you first date, that's cute." Barb privately whispered me in game and said, verbatim: "I should start flirting with you in chat to make things REALLY awkward, lol." I replied with "lol", a few moments passed, and then she said "seriously though, what do you think of my looks?"
How the fuck do you even respond to that? It's a loaded question if I ever heard one. So maybe I didn't choose the best response, for better or worse, and said "you're pretty, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." Keep in mind I didn't find her attractive. She's not particularly unattractive either, but at the end of the day, I just had no interest in her in that way. That being said, I'm still intrigued that someone has taken interest in me after seeing what I look like. That's not normal. So I looked her up on facebook. I became interested in the girl that was interested in me. I only had her first name, but she was easy to find. She posted her picture in discord, I knew her first name, and I knew the city she lived in. I wanted to see if she was cool or psycho or crazy or whatever.
Another guild friend of mine, Nancy, had been present for that awkward discussion, and Barb had since started to latch onto Nancy a little bit. They quested together, chatted together, etc. Nancy said after my comment, Barb's attitude toward me went a little sour behind the scenes. Whatever. It is what it is.
For unrelated issues, Barb became a bit problematic to a lot of fellow guild members. She would demand that others help her in a manner that made her sound entitled. The biggest thing that set us off was one of the characters we all helped her with. The guild spent a lot of time helping her get good gear, and one day she just up and deleted that character because she wanted to use that character's name on a different character (that had previously been deleted, but she was going to restore it). We all felt like we wasted time helping her. But aside from that, she would never offer help, would consistently ask for it, and even asked Mike if he could loan her money through Venmo so she could buy in-game gold (a big no-no that you can get banned for).
But here's the other thing about Barb. When she wasn't being excessively needy, she DID have a cool personality. That's where my personal confliction comes in. At one point, her problems snowballed to the point that the guild leader talked to her about how some of her various actions were making guild members uncomfortable. After this happened, Barb kinda went AWOL, partially due to the fact that she was moving. She came back a couple of weeks later to find out that the guild officer system had been re-structured, and she was no longer an officer. Once she started playing again, we were bombarded with comments. "Y'all should help me level to 70.", "Y'all should boost me" (carry someone through content so they don't have to do anything), or "Y'all should make me an officer again." Once again, the guild leader talked to her.
While all this was happening, some other minor guild-related shit went down, someone else got promoted to officer, and Barb blew up in regular chat while the officers were in officer chat. She was confronted by the guild leader once more while simultaneously whispering Nancy, her confidant. Nancy validated the guild leader's thoughts, and Barb was extremely hurt. She disappeared again.
After a week or two passed, Mike and I noticed Barb hadn't been online at all. This was unusual, because Barb didn't work, and played ALL THE TIME. We noticed that she unfriended us and removed herself from the guild's discord. After discovering this, I whispered the guild leader with this information, and then I removed all of Barb's characters from the guild.
MEANWHILE... Five of us in the guild had become a very tight clique. We'll call it the Hellfire Club. Me, Nancy, Steve (Nancy's husband), Mike, and Dustin. I had recounted some of this drama to the HC, and I speculated upon Barb's whereabouts. I did a little bit of Google Fu, and found there were other WoW servers where she had characters. I tried to get invited to the guild she was in so that I could see when she was last online. This is where it gets a little hairier. I was practicing voices for a D&D session that I had planned with HC. I wanted to sneakily see if the voice was any good, so I used it for Dustin to get his thoughts. After he said it was good, I said something along the lines of "haha, I could talk to Barb in that voice and she'd never know it was me. Full incognito." I didn't tell him this voice was for D&D because I didn't want to spoil it. My second mistake was that when recounting the tales of Barb, I sent her facebook profile pic to both Dustin and Mike in private chats just to accompany whatever I was talking about at the time (I don't remember the exact conversation). Probably something along the lines of "haha, look at Barb." It had become popular in HC to riff on her, so I tried to fit in with that. I dared not mention that I actually kind of missed the good side of Barb's personality, and I felt bad for her. If I were to find her in another guild, I would try to get closure.
So the next day or so, I had an IRL D&D session with some friends after work. After D&D, I came home to find out I had been removed from Hellfire Club's chat. All the members except for Nancy unfriended me and blocked me. I asked Nancy WTF happened, and she said "It's time for us to move on." I asked her why, and she said "Barb approached us today and somehow found out you've been trying to find her on social media and on other game servers. She was pretty disturbed." She went on to say, "Dustin's wife has been a victim of cyber-stalking, so he was pretty upset about it, too."
All four of them dropped me like a bad habit. No warning, no nothing. I tried to whisper them apologies, and they all had me on ignore. Apparently my actions were so heinous that they completely wanted to distance themselves from me without any explanation aside from what Nancy offered.
I'm also worried that it was so heinous that Nancy might have gone to the police. Every day I wake up with a sinking feeling in my gut, terrified that I'm gonna hear a pounding on the door from the cops. That combined with the fact that I lost four really good friends all at the same time.
TL;DR - Girl in guild likes me so I looked her up on Facebook, I turn her down so she then dislikes me, then becomes problematic for the guild and I end up booting her. I wanted closure so I used Google Fu to seek out her other toons, and her and four other friends pegged me as a "cyber-stalker" as a result.
LaurensOfSuburbia: First of all, you havent commited a crime so you dont need to worry about that.
Second, those people were never your friends and frankly you are better off without such self absorbed cock wombles in your life.
MetalJunkie101: I guess that's what hurts so much. We texted/chatted daily. We were facebook friends, had each other's numbers, had even planned a meetup, etc.
Then one day it's all gone.
Edit: Also, thank you for "cock wombles." I am going to start using it now.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657144924 | 1657156771 | t3_vt1vqk | t5_2to41 | 11 | mattsle22: TIFU by sharing a profile picture post of a girl’s account I was stalking.
I’m (18 male) not a guy that uses Facebook pretty frequently, I tend to use more Instagram, Twitter or Reddit, but the Facebook app is just sitting there. I can go days without looking at Facebook, and if by chance I tap on the Facebook app I usually just scroll to the first post and then close it.
Anyway, it’s been weeks since I’ve opened the app. And today I take a loot at it. I was about to do the same, open it then close it, but then i see on the shortcut bar a notification on the friend requests with a “1” there. I see who it is and it’s girl and it looks like she sent the request a week ago.
I’m naturally a curious guy so I tap on her account and started stalking her. Her account didn’t show much, just her name and the only post i could see was a profile picture post that was uploaded like a year ago. The post had like 65 reactions and one comment and as I try to click on the comments i accidentally tap on the share button, and when I noticed that I clicked on the share button I started to panic and accidentally pressed on the “Share Now” button.
And never in my entire life had my internet worked so goddamn fast that I see on the top of my phone the “Posted!” notification.
I’m even more panicked but I know what to do, i just have to delete before anyone sees it, right? I go to my profile and scroll to see the latest post and see nothing; it’s not loaded yet. So I close the app, open it again and literally the first post that I see in the Home Screen is the one that I shared with the “just now” status. Great, I click on the three dots and proceed to delete it and crisis has been averted, right?
Well not exactly because I think to myself that she must’ve received a notification that I’ve shared her post and I feel like I have to tell her the truth. I’m beyond embarrassed but I have to do this, I don’t want a complete stranger to think I’m an awkward and weird guy who likes to share one-year-old posts of people I don’t know. And somehow my brain thought that she must know that it was all a mistake and that I didn’t meant to do that.
I click on her profile again and click on the “Message” button the Facebook app automatically opens the messenger app which leaves on the chat. On texts I explain to her what happened and that it was just a mistake. And now I leave the phone alone.
About exactly 53 minutes I check my Facebook profile and then the post is there. I’m cringing so hard and asking myself why was the post still on my profile if I saw in my very own eyes the post disappear. I then delete it again and triple checked my account and now there was absolutely nothing.
It’s been a long time and she didn’t even left me on read I feel so bad.
Also, english is not my first language so apologies if you notice any mistakes
TL;DR Didn’t fully delete a post after 53 minutes I never wanted to share on Facebook and felt incredible amounts of cringe.
dpg3456: I think your making this a much bigger issue than it is.
mattsle22: yeah you’re right at the end of the day nothing bad really happened, maybe I just needed to tell someone
dpg3456: No worries.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1657147015 | 1657200075 | t3_vt2ooh | t5_2to41 | 24 | Homicidal_gnome: TIFU by believing my mom‘s joke that my dad was adopted
[removed]
Coco_Dirichlet: Get an abortion?
\- You are 19 and too young for a child.
\- Everyone will be pissed off at your mom and the drama there... implosion
\- He is your cousin and you don't even like him. Also, he is 27 and thought it was a good idea to have sex with a teenager?!?!! He is a creep, to be honest. Even if he thought you were not his bio-cousin, you were raised as cousin!!!!
Missedmyplane714: I agree with this. All three are correct. Hasn’t this creep ever heard of the half your age plus 7 rule? Even then, that’s a bit iffy (I’m 18, not gonna date a 16 year old) but 27 is too fucking old for 19, and that’s before we even get into the cousin stuff. If he asked you out that quickly he definitely had thought about it before, which is creepy. And I’m sorry, but your mom must be terrible at jokes if it went that long without the “I’m joking” moment.
| 3 | 8 | |
1657148069 | 1657224608 | t3_vt32ta | t5_2to41 | -17 | [deleted]: TIFU by dumping my girlfriend for a crush
[deleted]
Comprehensive-Buy443: Don’t listen to these other self righteous judgemental commentators. It’s not too late for you to pull a classic manipulation card and weasel your wack back into your ex’s life. Tell her you love her and the fact that these are feelings all new to you is what scared you. You got this. We have all been there.
NerdyToc: r/YouAreTheAsshole
Comprehensive-Buy443: Don’t hate the playa hate the game lol
NerdyToc: The game of being a decent human being?
| 5 | -3.4 | |
1657147705 | 1657174890 | t3_vt2y36 | t5_2to41 | 430 | MatchStick077: TIFU by using an email with the name 'Rumple Foreskin' to apply for my first job
As the title says, today i was in the process of applying for my first job now that i have left college. I found a nice little shop in my city that I was interested in working at, and without realising what I was doing, used an old email which I created back in high school with my friends as a throwaway to apply with. Now, this wouldn't normally be a problem, but my stupid high shool era brain had set the account name below the adress to 'Rumple Foreskin', with no option to change said account name. Naturally, i didnt notice this until the application had been sent and it was too late. So now I sit and wait in terror, hoping the company doesn't bother to read the name below the email address. Fuck me.
TLDR: applied for a job and didn't think to check the God awful name my email address had.
HawkeyeByMarriage: I've called people for interviews and people need to think about their voicemail messages too. No second call attempts needed sometimes
Nitro_prime: What kind of voice messages are we talking? I need to change mine it's a bit iffy
iampierremonteux: Honestly, if it doesn't sound professional enough to identify you as a good job candidate, it probably should go.
Most carriers have the option to change it to their standard voicemail, which is much better than "what up dawg?, leave me a message". or "Heeeeeeeey, this is ....".
Sometimes you can change it back later if you really don't want to lose that voicemail message.
weikor: Had a guy, sweaty from riding his bike, show up for a job interview (for a 50% above minimum wage job) In short sweatpants.
It's about showing you're presentable and make an effort. Poor hygiene, or being too casual is a huge mistake in any part. Every employer knows you won't put as much effort in future as during the interview and that's fine.
| 5 | 86 | |
1657151369 | 1657154111 | t3_vt4aa4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking the scenic route home
[deleted]
Icy_Engine_7648: Did they at least name the baby after you?
deadeyes2019: A beautiful baby girl - Deadeyes
| 3 | 1 | |
1657153679 | 1657159272 | t3_vt52st | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU for having bad bathroom etiquette
[deleted]
housevil: How massive & messy are your shits that you have to use so much paper that you *clog the toilet*??
NekoRiRi: looooool the terrible part is its actually not. its probably even less than average. I just am really really terribly bad and waste a lot of toilet paper.
housevil: Well if you manage to cut back on paper just remember, anything that the paper didn't get, a shower will.
NekoRiRi: Thank you so much. I appreciate and will engrave this advice in my head until I make it a habit to use less.
| 5 | 0.6 | |
1657155888 | 1657157022 | t3_vt5ugd | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: Tifu by cheating on my boyfriend of 2 years
[deleted]
DrRockso6699: Your bf is thinking with the small head instead of the big head. Using alcohol as an excuse for betraying somebody is immature. You're in control of your actions and you just don't want to own up to that because it means you're not a good person.
I hope your boyfriend smartens up and leaves you. But, there's a reason they say nice guys finish last.
Virtual_Duty_3476: Valid
Rover267: You’re lucky you found a man willing to give a huge second chance like that cause if that were me as soon as you tell me that you kissed not had sex but kissed another man I would leave you and never look back. Then after you tell me you fucked him I would erase you from my mind and never look your way again.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1657155550 | 1657165130 | t3_vt5pvz | t5_2to41 | 13 | BadBunnyBrigade: TIFU And by TIFU I literally mean today... I broke my toilet and it won't get fixed until Monday
So, you know those bidet attachments you can attach to your toilet bowl? Yeah, I got one of those. Yay me. It arrived today and I was really excited, so I went on the interwebs, as one does and looked up all the DIY videos on how to turn the water off, remove the nut under the tank and so on and so forth.
Everything went fine, at first. I turned the water off. I emptied the tank. I removed the plastic nut under the tank. I attached the t-valve. I attached the metal pipe to the t-valve and the second metal pipe (the one that goes to the bidet attachment), reattached the seat, etc.
Turned the water on and noticed a little leak. Nothing big. Just a little drip. I figured, well wtf, I can fix that no problem. I removed the seat and bidet. Removed both pipes and got ready to remove the t-valve...
It won't come off. So I use some vice grips.
Still won't come off.
So I use a little more force and then I heard something shift... something that I don't think needed to shift. But me being me, I shrug it off and tried again. This time, it shifted a lot more and there's my fuck up. You know the bobber thingy in the tank? Yeah, the pipe thing it's attached to inside, it's not supposed to move. I accidentally detached the whole piece from my tank. I thought it was maybe not that big of a deal and I turned the water back on.
Yeah, bad idea... There was so much water, everywhere and made a huge mess.
I cleaned up the water and turned the water back off. But now we can't use the toilet until Monday and that's IF he comes on Monday. It's a tiny apartment with just the one toilet and I'm feeling pretty low about it.
TL;DR: I tried to DIY a toilet bidet attachment to my toilet. Broke it. Made a huge mess. Can't use the toilet until it gets fixed and that's IF it gets fixed.
willowbird_: https://youtu.be/5K1on0-6EgU
BadBunnyBrigade: Oh thank god. It's not expensive. I was having a panic attack thinking my landlord would have some kind of fit and that it'd be something really expensive. I mean, I still have to wait until Monday (because I'm a renter) but you actually made me feel better about the whole thing. I didn't even think of looking that up.
I mean, I still fucked up and I'm still getting roasted over here. But I actually feel calmer now that I've seen that (I looked at the Amazon link in that video, they're under $30 in CAD).
KingJon85: Spend 20 bucks and fix it yourself. If you broke the toilet by attaching a device to the water line, landlords probably gonna make you pay to fix it.
It's super easy to install a float valve. Watch a couple DIY videos and go for it. I always replace the water line when I do any work on toilets as well, probably an extra 10 or 15 bucks.
It's way cheaper than paying for a plumber. Just don't over tighten anything especially if it's plastic. There should be directions with the valve as well.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1657155732 | 1657156567 | t3_vt5sio | t5_2to41 | 8 | steezyskank: TIFU. I was quitting cigarettes
Like the title says, I have too many vices and they only have gotten more expensive. I can’t afford my alcoholism and cigarette addictions, I have extremely expensive dental work that needs to be done as is, and I’m already living paycheck to paycheck. My one positive vice is my wrx (her name is Yuko) is in the shop because her engine blew. So I’m stressed but things are so expensive now I decided it’s time to quit cigarettes and bought a vape. Well my gf’s brothers dog is seriously ill and cannot handle the puppy they have, the stress will literally kill him. I love dogs more than people, me and my gf have two beautifully groomed (she’s a dog groomer) and amazingly well trained German shepherds. Long story short, we’re now babysitting a half terrier and I believe half Pomeranian. She is completely untrained and has been attacking me every time I stand up, (I have mad insomnia and sleep maybe 3hrs/night) so there’s been a ton of stress. And today that poor little demon dog bit my precious yoki (my dogs name). Me and my gf started fighting and I just held her till she calmed down from her panic attack, ( I know this isn’t a good way to handle things, I’m doin my best). And I just couldn’t resist. I needed to be calm. I made sure she wasn’t going to do anything extreme and just smoked 3 cigarettes in a row and now I’m just sitting outside having ruined 9 days of no smoking, and I’m scared to go back inside.
TL;DR
I suck and my gf deserves better
Marlboro-Man_: Get rid of the alcohol and stick with cigs.
steezyskank: Alcohol let’s me sleep and costs less
Marlboro-Man_: Ah yes, I love my ciggies. Good if you got a chuckle, we all need to nowadays. In all seriousness though see a doctor, that's a terrible way to fall asleep, you might get cirrhosis or something. My father, and other members are/were alcoholics, it can get very bad. It can cost you, your job, relationships, a ton. Eventually cost as much as drugs.
steezyskank: I have hyper severe eczema and alcohol dulls the itching and pain
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1657155950 | 1657301365 | t3_vt5v80 | t5_2to41 | 9,881 | Desperate-Ad4664: TIFU Asked friend to move out
Asking Roommate to Move Out UPDATE
Pretty sure this has just destroyed our friendship. Roomie moved into my house in April, he needed to get on his feet and pay down debt. He had been staying with another friend but it wasn’t working out.
He was desperate so I offered to let him live here for six months. That six month time frame was then expanded.
Unfortunately my kid and his pregnant girlfriend are going to need to move in.
I told my room mate that he need to move out in 4 months. Plenty of notice and this was never supposed to be a permanent solution.
He is a great room mate, I feel terrible but family has to come first.
I will be glad to have him out though, although he cleans, is generally nice but man oh man does he have mood swings.
So today I fucked up by asking him to move. He is now pitching a passage aggressive fit, won’t say a word to me and is packing his shit. I literally gave 4 months in advance but have still managed to ruin the friendship.
Word to the wise don’t let a friend in.
Edit to add TL;DR I fucked up my friendship by asking friend to move out.
Edit to add for more info
There seems to be some confusion. He moved in April of this year with an out date of September. Before we knew about the baby we extended to move out date tell Feb 2023 to be nice, room mate responded with he would be out long before then but thanked us.
Found out about baby, things were fine at first (with my son) but they have hit a rough patch and aren’t in their own place. Asked if they could move in. Since we currently have room mate explained to son it would need to be after baby is born.
Then had convo with roommate, who is not a parasite, he pays 300 a month, explaining that he needs to move out by the time the baby was due.
Initial convo went fine, but now he is acting really mad and packing all his things. This sucks, I am going to take the advice of some of the comments. Give him space and then just talk to him and let him get this stuff off his chest. Hopefully that will mend our friendship.
UPDATE: Things blew up.
I want to thank everyone that responded it helped me realize that I am not crazy and roomie is acting inappropriately. Since telling him he needs to move out she has;
Stoped cleaning up after himself
Stoped talking to me or hubby
Blew up and had a tantrum while out to eat. Straight was really mean to a friend (mutual) who was trying to help and stormed off like a toddler
He is moving but sneakily? It’s weird. He has several months tell he needs to be out but has been moving all his things out when we are not home or are sleeping. Instead of just saying hey I’m gonna move out now he was trying to do it on the sly. Just strange. Hubby asked him this morning and he yelled at him and called him names
I have confirmed with mutual friends that I am not loosing my mind and he is acting really off. And as many people said I didn’t fuck up by telling him to move out I fucked up by letting him move in at all.
I was actually very upset at first and wanted to smooth stuff over but you know what? Fuck that. I don’t need to waste any more time or energy on making this person feel better. I got my own shit to deal with.
Thank you all again!
1600hazenstreet: Your friend pulled a reverse guilt trip on you.
Desperate-Ad4664: This actually seems correct. I just don’t know why he is reacting so over the top. Hubby says he was probably thinking he could live with us forever
Leovaderx: Could be one of those mood swings. He may also be in panic mode if he was lazy about preparing or forgot to.
He really should be alot nicer towards someone that helped out like that...
CLUTCH3R: No good deed goes unpunished
SnoaH_: It’s crazy I’ve heard this saying a thousand times and times reading OPs situation, relating it to mine, and then seeing this it just *finally* clicked with me.
Was letting my friend use my 2nd car for a month because his trans blew and, like OP, it was supposed to be a temporary solution so he could still get to work, but after a while it felt like he thought he had *found the solution*, and that solution was my car. And once I was done letting someone put miles on it, go over the oil change without getting it changed or even failing to mention it so I could do it, and overall just beating up the car, I was the asshole because how can I leave someone high and dry like that?
chasmd: Machinist friend of mine has his car die. He's got 2 kid's, single dad & the kids are with him. No questions asked, hand him the keys to my 4runner. 9 months go by. He blows the engine up for lack of oil. An automotive machinist! Promises to fix it.
3 months go by and he hasn't touched it. I get a mutual friend who's an attorney to intervene. He starts tearing down the engine, another 2 months. Finally gets it back together and the installer says he can't get it to run.
Ship it to another shop, $1200 later it's running but has a massive oil leak. I eat part of the bill and ask "friend" to pay $800. He refuses and gets belligerent. Offers me $400. I'm just screwed. I paid the insurance during the whole time. All he needed to do was check the oil & pay for gas, but that was too much to ask.
No longer friends.
SnoaH_: I always try to help out friends and family when I can because I’m fortunate enough to not be where I was at 5 years ago. But man I’ve stopped looking at it as “Will it hurt me to help them?” And now look at it as “Can I afford to deal with this situation if it goes as bad as possible?”
zedsdead79: That's unfortunately the way you need to look at it.....learned that hard lesson a few times before it stuck. Kinda like the saying "Don't lend anyone money if you can't afford to not get it back".
FrancisOfTheFilth: This is something my stepdad always drilled into my head.
“If you’re gonna help someone out with money, only give them as much as you are comfortable with not getting back.”
| 10 | 988.1 | |
1657157650 | 1657159857 | t3_vt6g6a | t5_2to41 | 59 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #26! Come share your stories and hang out! :)
JupiterInTheSky: Is there literally *any* way to get these off my homepage. Seriously. I have three or four of them just stacking up there now and no amount of fiddling with my settings is getting them to go away. It's bricking my app entirely. It's unusable. My "turn off community talk" setting is already off. Any help appreciated
Esther-Rosie: Try leaving some
JupiterInTheSky: I've joined and left them a few times and theyre still up there
Esther-Rosie: Restarting reddit?
JupiterInTheSky: I've restarted it a few times too, everything I've searched seems to also turn up empty.
Esther-Rosie: Maybe there’s something wrong with the wifi or your app? You could try redownloading the app if that helps
JupiterInTheSky: My wifi is working fine, apparently other people are having this problem too. I guess I'll just have to report it to reddit and wait for them to fix it I guess
Esther-Rosie: Alrighty. Best of luck :)
| 9 | 6.555556 | |
1657157749 | 1657158414 | t3_vt6hb2 | t5_2to41 | 10 | I_love_my_catZ: Tifu by finding my parents stash
Let me start this by say I'm young but not that
young so I know about most thing that adult do.
So I knew what was in the stash but I just wanted
to try and act cool. So let's now start the real
story, so my parents were out for the night and
my brother was at a sleep over so me bing the
nosy kid I am went poking around their room and
up in a high basket I found the stash so I grab a
couple things that look interesting and go back to
my I do remember what I grabbed I remember
grading a cup that had flowers on it and inside
were what looked like melatonin and thing I
grabbed this bag that was like a neon teal and
said dime bag on it the cups were vary small so l
thought so I ate three cups of them I waited a little
bit and felt nothing to I opened the dime bag and
it had what looked like tablets after I ate one I
thought it tasted bad so I only had two more then
put them in my dresser and waited I got bored
after a while and started to watch YouTube then
maybe 45 minutes later my head feels like it is
spinning the top of my mouth felt super dry and
scratchy and I couldn't talk then I lost all consent
of time I looked at a clock and it felt like it was
moving slowly then the last thing I could
remember was trying to stained up but I couldn't
stop laughing and that is the last thing I
remembered before I woke up with a really bad
head pain in my bed. Ps this happened a couple
mouths ago and I still have not told my parents
what should I do tl;dr
NIPURU: >I'm young
Yeah I can tell cuz you didn't use any fucking punctuation. Good god this was unpleasant to decypher. Stay in school and pay attention in English class, will ya?
TSCCaillou: But how young? Usually you're supposed to keep small stuff away from children because they'll end up putting anything into their mouth. I'd be convinced it's a toddler. However the ability to type tells me it's probably not.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1657160130 | 1657198601 | t3_vt7a95 | t5_2to41 | 785 | Renva: TIFU by trying to pass a whole coconut
This past week, I ran out of my antidepressants. And neither my doctor nor my pharmacy were responding, probably because of the holiday. This medication is something that REALLY should be gradually dosed up and down, so having to go cold turkey has had some interesting effects.Colors distort, purple looks blue, dark green looks black, etc. Dreams have gone into overdrive, and cPTSD dreams are a doozy. Moods and emotions are hair trigger. Food cravings have been popping up pretty hard too from my brain trying to squeeze out dopamine from ANYWHERE it can find it.
So my husband and I go to the store, and my brain just decides that I MUST have this fresh coconut. My husband's survival instincts are strong, so we get the coconut.
We get home and I just start in on it. Stab a metal straw and absolutely LOVE the water like I've never had drinks before, and then crack it open and just start eating the flesh like a cave woman. Helped mood a little bit..... but I forgot something.....
Coconut has a LOT of insoluble fiber.
Wake up early this morning with the most painful pressure n my entire abdomen, feeling like a zombie boomer, doubled over in pain(still better than the dream I was having though). Stumble to the toilet but can't get any relief, so I run a bath. It helps a bit, so I lay back down in bed.
Wake up a bit later with the same pain, so I go to the bathroom again. I pass a little bit of what felt like hamster cage wood chip infused hummus. DO NOT RECOMMEND.
This kept repeating every few hours until I ask my husband to get food. In my desperation, I ask for Taco Bell.
And surprisingly, it actually helped! So far, anyways....
Luckily the pharmacy FINALLY got back to us about my medication refill, and he was able to pick those up on the same trip, so maybe they can help me recover from the new layer of PTSD from the coconut express.
TLDR; Ate an entire coconut in one sitting, exfoliated my insides, and somehow cancelled it out with Taco Bell.
Edit; I CAN NO LONGER HEAR MY OWN EYEBALLS!!! Gonna be interesting while my meds restabilize, but there's already some improvement, thank goodness.
capsaicinintheeyes: *Colors* distort?^(?) – wow; you don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable, of course, but as someone who's tried a few of those myself, what antidepressants are those?
Renva: Venlafaxine. You know the antidepressant commercials that are in muted colors or in black and white until the person gets the medication?
Before I got on the right meds and dosage, I thought my husband's chair was black, and the fan was black, and the water pitcher was dark blue. Chair turned out to be brown, fan was green, and the pitcher was purple.
It was a trip.
tomothygw: Yo getting off that shit is hell. Even missing one dose leaves you more or less useless after 24 hours. That being said if you take it regularly and dial in your dose it has by far the lease side effects.
Whenever I miss a dose I get to like hour 28-30 and my brain feels like I’m being tazed then I become starving around 34 and at about a day and half I will start hysterically crying over nothing.
For context I cried harder watching ATLA after missing a dose then I did at a very beloved parents funeral.
Great med, absolutely awful if you start to go into withdrawals
Renva: YEP. Getting a new fucking doctor and pharmacy after this shit. The muscle spasms, the pregnancy level mood swings, the nerve pain and insomnia. And with my dose, if I were to try to stop taking it, it would need to be ramped down for SAFETY sake, let alone comfort.
Like, one of the most annoying withdrawal symptoms this time around was being able to HEAR my own eyeballs move. It sounded like weird sandpaper.
saxmaster98: TW- self harm
I was on it and ended up hospitalized for a suicide attempt. The doc at the hospital took me off of it cold Turkey. I was so fucked with vertigo, that I was basically bed ridden for 3 days, and the brain zaps and mood swings lasted close to 3 months after I got out of the hospital. It was a living hell. I hope your new doctor is knowledgeable and patient with you for your sake.
Renva: Thank you. I do too.
| 7 | 112.142857 | |
1657160656 | 1657318989 | t3_vt7gpg | t5_2to41 | 7 | Megalopath: TIFU by going to buy medicine and ice cream...
Technically yesterday and just going to start off with "I'm fine" (barring some rather minor injuries).
So basically I have this stomach issue that means my body constantly overproduces acid because it doesn't know when to stop producing acid. A result of this, NSAIDs are an absolute nightmare for me to take as they stop the signal from your brain that tells the stomach to stop producing acid; which means I only take them if I really need to.
Saturday I have a really rough headache so I decide a few days of stomach pain would be better than the headache, as I'm really trying to finish editing my current project, and I take an Excedrin (which contains an NSAID) along with the meds that counteract the effect on my stomach for at least a little while.
Skip ahead to Tuesday and I'm feeling a bit sour from a mix of the after effects of the NSAID combined with some storms that morning. I decide to make a detour to a local gas station to pick up some more antacids and grab an ice cream from the Wendy's next door as that helps reduce the stomach pain. Normally I would just head over the train tracks and the two stores would be right there, but this day happened to have construction right at the crossing.
No big deal, I take a detour around the road work by taking the back roads around a corn field I've been down a hundred times. With my car having no AC and it being too hot for me to have the windows up and live I had the windows down and my Stetson on to keep my hair from blowing in my face; enjoying the evening breeze best I could to keep my mind off my sour gut.
I finally make it back to the main road and start accelerating, the gas station is in sight, when out of the ditch a deer leaps out from the ditch on the other side of the road and tries to jump my car. I slam on the brakes, the thing smashes into my windshield and it's hind leg kicks me dead center of my face. My Stetson blocked it's hoof as it smashed my glasses into my face, shielding me from taking damage that might have resulted in blindness or maybe even death. The deer then runs off back into the corn field like nothing ever happened.
Despite the fact I was covered in glass and dripping blood, I didn't feel any pain beyond a small bruise on my nose from the glasses having been pressed into my face and a tiny shard of glass that had embedded itself into my hand. I make it over to the gas station where the awesome staff let me clean up and bandage the wounds before I bought some needed gear to take care of the car problem.
Damage to the car: windshield destroyed, roof slightly caved in, door dented inward, mirror destroyed, and a mess of fur and deer poop in the interior.
Injuries: small skin break on nose (probably gonna scar), minor hole in hand, small chunk of flesh sliced out of my arm (superficial), minor scratching on my arms, sore everywhere but especially my nose, neck, and left arm. And I had to take NSAIDs to prevent this from getting worse, so we're back to where we started.
Deer: Lived to fight another day.
Overall I was stupid lucky. There's a million ways that could have gone way worse and my injuries are as minor as possible given the circumstances. I even traveled home in a car a relative loaned me mere hours later. My car is likely an insurance write off given it's age, but better that than me. Of course when I show up to work this morning my boss is astounded that I was even there as I informed him of what happened the day before. So far it's all working out as good as it can, but the irony being a minor detour meant to deal with a minor medical issue resulted in nearly a very serious medical incident. Moral of the story? IDK, that Stetson was the best $70 I ever spent?
TL;DR: I took a detour on my way home from work to deal with a sour stomach caused by painkillers, instead I get a deer to the face and have to take the same painkillers that got me into this mess in the first place. And my hat also saved my life. (Deer was fine)
SnuggleFrick69: So totally pinpointing one thing here, what is causing the acid issue? I'm kinda dealing with something similar.
Megalopath: A bit of a unique case. I've got a small stomach ulcer (likely a birth injury), acid reflux, and chronic gastritis (this one is the overproduces acid bit). Basically my stomach is a constant wreck.
SnuggleFrick69: Do you mind if I message you?
Megalopath: Sure, no prob
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1657164930 | 1657174242 | t3_vt8w96 | t5_2to41 | 24 | Fresh-broski: TIFU by sharpening my pencil too sharp
To preface, I’m in high school summer school, and class starts at 9:30. Today I missed the school bus, so my dad dropped me off. Since I was at class a little early, I thought I should use my time wisely, and I went to sharpen my pencil with the electric pencil sharpener. Checked the point, and went to sit down.
The gaps in between chairs are, unfortunately, minuscule. It’s a high school class in a library, and we don’t have a lot of space, so sitting down is an annoying hassle, because you have to fully pull out your chair, move yourself in the tiny gap between the table and chair, and then scoot the chair back in while awkwardly hovering.
Usually, I would place down any object I was holding before doing this, but I was still upset that I missed my bus. So, my genius ass put the hand holding the pencil on the chair, and tried lowering my body weight down. The extremely sharp pencil dragged across my palm, scraped open a line down it, and then lodged itself into my skin.
I reasonably freaked out and decided to head to the nurse’s office. There was no nurse. Lucky for me, the door was open. I looked around for tweezers to pull out the graphite now embedded in my skin, and found zilch. In my panic, I decided the second best course of action was to scrape out as much graphite as I could. I scratched out a bit of lead, and then bandaged it.
I went about my day normally for the next two hours before I decided maybe it wasn’t the best idea to keep pencil lead in my hand. I alerted a teacher of the situation, and he sent me to another teacher who could help. That teacher called the school nurse, who instructed me on how to pull it out and where the tweezers were.
At this, I then went back to the nurse’s office, and did my best to pull out the graphite. Of course, it couldn’t be that simple. Scratching at the graphite had broken it down into powder, and letting it sit for two hours had let that powder embed itself further in my skin. And, despite my best efforts to rectify my mistakes, I could not get the powder out. There is now a black mark on my hand, which will very likely heal over to make an idiot tattoo.
Tl;dr: I stabbed myself with a sharp pencil on accident, and waited too long to receive medical help. I will be stuck with a graphite mark on my palm forever.
jjwslot: Don't worry. Soak it in water. You can probably peel off the skin over the area once it is soaked and softened. Then scrub it out with a brush and soap. Dry it off. If you're bleeding use a bandage. If not, you can put one on. If you see a red line start to go up your arm get to a hospital, that a sign of infection.
If there is still graphite in there it will eventually work its way out.
WHOISTIRED: > If there is still graphite in there it will eventually work it's way out.
As someone who knows a friend who got a pencil stabbed on the top of his hand, yea, no. That shits gonna be there permanently. It's been over a decade and he still has that mark.
sablebus: My buddies friend’s dad has a mark from stabbing himself with a pencil from 1965, you can still see the mark from the graphite
| 4 | 6 | |
1657165969 | 1657170971 | t3_vt986e | t5_2to41 | 21 | MHCubes: TIFU by making dumb mistakes my 4th day of work
TIFU by making a ton of dumb mistakes my 4th day of work
I'm a 17 y/o that just started working at a well known fast food chain. Pretty much watched a couple of hours of videos and then was thrust out into working the drive-thru. Today at work was a total train wreck.
First, I was running errands and forgot to switch shoes(didn't have time to drive 20 minutes back home) so showed up to work in bright blue shoes instead of required black. Manager was understanding.
Second, I somehow managed to end up $5 short in my register. I'm speculating that I may have accidentally given a customer too much change at some point(there were several customers that paid with a 100 for a ~15 dollar order), but anyhow that happened I feel terrible about it. I'm afraid the management will think I stole it, or that I'm just a generally unreliable employee.
Finally, with all that happened and a shitty day before that I totally forgot to clock out. I realized 20 minutes after I left and called the store, they said it was fine and they would take care of it.
I just feel totally awful about today, I feel so badly and feel like the worst employee. Would appreciate reassurance or stories to help me feel a little better about this. Ugh.
TL;DR I'm a bad employee
Puzzleheaded_Age6550: A bad employee wouldn't care if they messed up. Give yourself some grace, it's your fourth day. You got this.
jsahu: This. In a few years, you will smile back at this post of yours. Cheers!
| 3 | 7 | |
1657165503 | 1657254904 | t3_vt92va | t5_2to41 | 392 | Evar_go_to_gravE: TIFU by rubbing Tiger Balm high up on my inner thigh
Preface this with I'm a guy. One of my teachers recommended that I use things like Bengay, Icy Hot, and Tiger Balm on my legs before stretching and exercising due to how they would cut some of the time out needed to do so. So I decided today since I would be doing a lot of running around anyway and I was near a Rite Aide I'd pick some up and give it a try to see how well it works, figured since I usually feel tight in my upper thigh and in the joint area I'd use it there. So once I got home from buying the Tiger Balm I decided I'd use it immediately and that's when mistakes were made. I had forgotten how the products worked and what they'd feel like in my probably only once before usage of it on my wrist years ago. So on to my inner thigh it went and shortly after the feeling of pain. I had put a decent amount and thought I rubbed it in well enough, guess I didn't and my balls had gotten some of it on to them. The first few seconds were just heat and a few seconds after it felt like they were on fire to the point I thought I was bleeding from them. I somehow talked myself into just suffering with it and went through with everything else I had to do today thankfully the cool feeling you get after kicked in quick enough and I was fine.
TL;DR tried to use muscle relief to make stretching easier put it on too high and thought I was losing my left nut.
Misplaced_Texan: You only make that mistake once. Or twice like my dumbass.
ConfuzedAzn: Shoot for third time lucky?
Trick-Landscape5581: Nah, only twice. Once for each nut.
N-_n_-_n_-N: Third time is for the dick
Trick-Landscape5581: Oh of course. Can't forget Richard.
| 6 | 65.333333 | |
1657165112 | 1657177036 | t3_vt8ye5 | t5_2to41 | 3 | The_elegant_elephant: TIFU by telling dad I wanted to get more sleep!
So. I am a 14 year old female, and I'm sorry if this seems silly to you, but at least it will make you laugh? Anyways... Since June, there's this medical talk that I wanted to go to. Medicine's been a wierd interest of mine, considering that I'm blind and couldn't handle becoming a doctor and all the stuff that comes with it. But one can like and be curious about something, right? So, a doctor and a med studant will be speeking doctorese virtually, so obviously they won't be there in person. My mess up happened when dad told me I could miss 2 hours of school, and miss maybe most of the med talk along with it, bc the talk is held at school. I said I didn't mind,because all I could think of was the nice extra sleep I'll get, mind you, I was half-asleep at the time. The next day, I gave it some real thought, and decided that this is not what I actually want. I told dad, and he said it's too late to want to go now, I don't know why! Anywho, talk is on Friday, and I can't change his mind! Reddit, I effed up badly. tldr: I'm an lazy idio!
I would love it if this made it to R/
thememorykeeper: Don’t beat yourself up, you weren’t fully awake. Can you find a video of the talk online? Or a similar talk? Maybe a TED talk? Sorry this happened.
The_elegant_elephant: I can't find something like that online! I'm hoping a miracle will happen, and mom will make dad change his mind about this, but that seems extremely unlikely!
| 3 | 1 | |
1657170773 | 1657258235 | t3_vtan4n | t5_2to41 | 9 | mallconman: TIFU by trying to make friends on discord
So, it all started when I downloaded discord today. This week, I have been seeing a bunch of tiktoks about discord so I just thought “let me download it again” and see what’s happening. This was a HUGE mistake. I decided to start talking to people in the channels and stuff, until people started private chatting me. At this point about 10 guys we’re messaging me weird, sexual, stuff and being weird in general.
I was scrolling through these messages when I came across a person that seemed normal. I began chatting with them and they said they lived in the same state as me and stuff. Then, they asked what I looked like, so of course I just sent them a selfie. When I asked for one in return, they kept on making excuses saying their phone was broken. When I asked them what they are using discord on they said PC, when I asked what kind of PC they would not tell me and so on. They eventually got my number claiming they wanted to play iMessage games. In iMessage, they asked me what car I had for some reason??? I just told them my car brand, after that, they asked what year. I told them 2019. Then they were like “ew that’s a poor car.” In my opinion, 2019 is not old haha.
So of course, after this I asked them what car they have to which they replied with, “which one.” Then proceeded to send me pictures of 4 random cars all in DIFFERENT driveways. Of course I reverse imaged them and they were fake images off of google lol. I then asked for their face again and they made another excuse. So then I snapped and said if you don’t show your face and you’re being dishonest I can’t message you, you are acting weird. Then I blocked them on everything including discord and my phone number. Not even two minutes later I get a phone call from a no caller ID. I answered and they said “Hey [OP’s name]” in a VERY creepy condescending voice. They then continued on ranting to me about how I blocked them wondering why. They also said “I know everything about you [OP’s name], more than you think.” THIS WAS VERY SCARY TO ME. I laughed nervously and then they began calling me things like racial slurs, so I just hung up. They then called again and I basically told them to fuck off and not call me again. Safe to say Im never going in discord again LOL. (Also scared about what this person might know)
TL;DR i tried making friends on discord and it backfired into me having a stalker?
Dav-Kripler: Sorry OP, this sucks. I hope you find a way to mitigate the damage but your post is at least a cautionary reminder to people to not disclose personal information to strangers online. And that discord sucks.
mallconman: Thank you :,) guess I learned the hard way lol
Dav-Kripler: For what it's worth this vid should offer some insight on the app's issues https://youtu.be/xeJeyO7UeYo
SumonaFlorence: That's typical of all chat services. Everything in that video is not strictly a specific problem to Discord.
Dav-Kripler: Also true
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1657171550 | 1657230634 | t3_vtavad | t5_2to41 | 1,423 | revidyks: TIFU by befriending a magpie
I started putting wild bird food out this year and I'm enjoying the mix of birds that visit the garden, a couple of weeks ago a magpie landed on my bedroom windowsill, I peeked out through the curtains and after a couple of seconds of staring at me it flew off.
It became a morning routine and each morning it was a little braver and I quite enjoyed that little morning routine.
Well... This morning I realised what a fuck up I had made when said magpie brought it's 3 fledglings to the window as well and all 4 birds proceeded to very loudly chatter with each other and impatiently peck at my window till I got up to go and see them.
Goodbye relaxing mornings in bed, I guess I have a new alarm clock!
TL/DR I said hello to a magpie and now it's whole family bang on my window at 5:30am.
Orbnotacus: Now build a box that when money is inserted, it spits out food.
revidyks: I like your thinking!
PatrickKieliszek: This has been done successfully before. Most corvids can do the task.
Coins work well as they are identifiable and not many things look like them. Paper money is more difficult due to all of the paper trash in the wild that isn’t money.
Freefall84: Bank cards would be better these days
andrewjoslin: u/Freefall84's local news channel a year from now:
"A raven has been _swiping_ customers' ATM cards at a local fast food drive thru window, then asking them for the PIN. More on this _corvid crook_, at 11."
Freefall84: Even easier in the UK, almost everywhere takes contactless payments up to £100 :)
andrewjoslin: Lol yeah I think you're in business!
| 8 | 177.875 | |
1657167713 | 1657213283 | t3_vt9ray | t5_2to41 | 23 | Aprilbloom20: TIFU by wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a skirt right below my knees
I'm a diplomat kid so I HATE traveling because 30-50% of my childhood was spent on vacation and in airports. I'm now living in Bogota, Colombia but my parents don't seem to think it's enough to be living in an ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL city so we constantly go to other cities in Colombia. We recently went to San Andrés, we arrived back in Bogota at 10:00 AM and we spent the rest of the day at home. The next day I found out that we were going to Girardot, we recently got a vacation house in Girardot so we'll be going there a lot. Girardot is a REALLY hot city so in protest of our CONSTANT traveling I wore the worst outfit to possibly wear to Girardot. For this to make sense you need to know a few things. I dress in a very particular way, think Ms. Frizzle but with tennis skirts that fit the theme instead of dresses (I do wear dresses but I wear more skirts). I've been dancing my whole life (Specifically ballet. I'm not a relaxed person so urban dance was never really my thing but I can do jazz.) as well as my older sister who is an urban dancer, and dislikes ballet because it's for "Little Miss Perfects who wear Chloé Eau de Parfum, are straight-A students, and play like a bajillion instruments. The type of girls that your boyfriend's parents would actually approve of" (Her words, not mine but she's not entirely wrong because all these things apply to me but that's beside the point) so when we signed up to do this thing our dance studio does which is basically a musical with only dance. This year we did The Greatest Showman, the urban dancers were the lower class people of New York and the ballet dancers were all the rich people. My sister and I are similar sizes so after the show. I hope this is enough context to understand the rest of the story. I entered her closet and grabbed the dress she wore. It's a black dress but one of those dresses that's meant to be worn with something underneath like a shirt and a skirt. I got an old, white, button-up shirt, a white tennis skirt, a white headband, and black heels I borrowed from my mother. I got a few comments from my dad (He judges a lot of the stuff I wear and makes cruel jokes about my fashion sense) but I was perfectly fine with that because I thought that if I wore this outfit, my parents would decide to not go on the trip because I refused to change, they didn't change their minds. I was sweating A LOT and I'm pretty sure I was extremely dehydrated because to get me to regret my awful decision, they bought very little water. I learned from this experience that if I want to protest something, make sure what I do isn't stupid.
TL;DR: I wore a stupid outfit in protest of something and regretted it immediately
Edit: I didn't realize I was rambling, I just have a lot to say. I talk very quickly and a lot. So sorry if this is too long
JoshyTheLlamazing: Can you go back to the part where you went Becky G on us?
Aprilbloom20: I need to work on getting to the point
JoshyTheLlamazing: I was playin...but the Little black dress story had my imagination going..😈
I read it during the devils hour.
Aprilbloom20: I did not understand what you meant
JoshyTheLlamazing: I just corrected my 3am banter.
I meant
*Can you go back to the part where you went Becky G..
you know because she made a song called Little Black Dress.
Aprilbloom20: Now I understood. My sister likes that song
JoshyTheLlamazing: It's subjectively a good song. I like it..
I was teasing you. Apologies for the misunderstanding..
Aprilbloom20: It's okay. I'm really bad at understanding references, jokes, and sarcasm.
JoshyTheLlamazing: Probably not as bad as I am being comical, but hey my humor is like the climate. Sometimes it's Hot, sometimes it's not.
Aprilbloom20: If you live in Los Angeles like I used to, it's always hot
JoshyTheLlamazing: I live in Denver. I'm 50-50
Aprilbloom20: I live in Bogota, it's always cold
JoshyTheLlamazing: Do we dare take this to a more private conversation?
| 14 | 1.642857 | |
1657176057 | 1657181895 | t3_vtc2wz | t5_2to41 | 605 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a stranger I can’t wait to fuck them tonight
[removed]
TrillenX: nice repost https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/cb18t8/tifu_by_telling_a_stranger_i_cant_wait_to_fuck/
Tinseltopia: Didn't even edit it to keep it fresh... Why can't they have bots that can check for stuff like this, like when they scan essays for plagiarism!
CarnivorousSociety: They don't even have to be as sophisticated as those things, they could just make a checksum of the post content and match new posts... seems dead easy
IBJON: Because 1) that would be useless because if they changed a single letter the entire checksum changes and 2) Reddit doesn't care; Engagement and views are the same regardless if it's copied content
CarnivorousSociety: One step at a time
| 6 | 100.833333 | |
1657171259 | 1657195396 | t3_vtasc0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | TheJanitorscrub: TIFU by going to work
TIFU by going to work
Obligatory this was 6-7 years ago.
I had gotten laid off at a coal mine and found myself making a career transition. Due to the large amount of people looking for jobs suddenly, and the small population of where I live, it was incredibly difficult to find a job for awhile.
Fast forward and I find myself working as an internet installer for a local ISP as an installer.
One summer day, I arrived to an address for a basic install. No sweat, 2-3 hours and I’d be headed for the 4th of July weekend and all the sweet, sweet beer that would come with it. When I pulled up to the address, it seemed to be a very large abandoned shop/warehouse. Okay, that’s a little weird I thought to myself. Knock on the door to no answer. So I expect a no show and make the standard “ I’m leaving if you don’t answer” phone call.
Unfortunately for me and my early weekend plans, he answers and comes down to let me in. They had converted the upstairs offices into a decent little apartment. We make small talk and he tells me about the renovations. This guy was the definition of sketchy. 100% standard tweaker. I had dealt with them before, and wasn’t too worried. Everyone loves internet, and 99% of people treat the internet installers well. Even the strung out.
Here’s where shit gets real.
Halfway through the install, I go out to my work pickup to grab more stuff. Tweaker follows me, ( standard meth head behavior, they don’t want people stealing their trash) someone knocks on the door. Lo and behold another crackhead. Whatever, I’m in a hurry to slam this install out to get home. Somehow, home owner grabbed a shotgun from who knows where and was pointing it at the new guy, who was asking where Jimmy was, the owner. “ I don’t fucking know a jimmy you get the fuck out of here “ and a huge argument and homeowner actually being a squatter. I walk to the side of them, grab my shit and patiently wait in my pickup to finish the install. This whole thing played out in like 30 seconds. When the gun was put away and the visitor gone I finished the install and beat feet. Home owner ( squatter? ) acts like nothing happened and is completely cheery with me . Back to small talk about the weather and politics and whatever other topics he wanted to talk about.
I get to the office and explain to the boss what had happened. It’s decided that we’re not sending anyone back to that address. If we can’t fix it remotely he’s done. A few months goes by.
The guy never paid his bill, ( turns out he used a fake name and ID , found out later when they tried to send him to collections ) and when it was requested of me by my service manager to go retrieve the equipment ( he didn’t know the whole story ) , I laughed and said absolutely not. Boss agreed and we billed for full cost of equipment. I’m not about to be the repo guy for $100 of internet equipment for a crackhead using a fake name and waving guns around at people. I should have called the cops but was young ( 21 ) and honestly still couldn’t believe what had happened myself. This is bad television I thought to myself. This shit doesn’t really happen right?
I’d like to believe I would have left in the middle of the install but I didn’t feel like that was the best choice at the time either. Remember, everyone loves internet.
Every time I drive by I look and still see the internet dish in the window, and remember this day( he didn’t want any exterior equipment, looking back probably because it would out him to the owner someone was living there )
TL;DR - Went to a average day job, addict waves shotgun around at some other rando and I finished the job out of fear and out of stupidity.
raffaele2406: It looks quite normal. According to stats in the USA there are 2 firearms for each adult...
TheJanitorscrub: I’ve still to this day not ever seen the business end pointed at another human in anger outside of this event in person.
| 3 | 3 | |
1657176919 | 1657178239 | t3_vtcari | t5_2to41 | 7 | rollerlord: TIFU by spreading calcium carbonate all over my spare room.
This morning, I was trying to make a point to my wife about how difficult it is to clean our spare room, and I thought that if I could show her how dirty it could get, she'd be more sympathetic.
So, I went out and bought a larger bag of calcium carbonate off of the internet, and proceeded to spread it all over the floor, walls, and furniture. It was a mess, but I was sure it would make my point and would receive sympathy and praise for my honesty.
Unfortunately, my wife was not amused or deceived. In fact, she was quite angry with me for making such a mess. And to top it off, she found out about my calcium carbonate obsession, and now I'm in for a long lecture about chivalry and honesty.
TL;DR
Don't try to trick your wife into thinking your spare room is dirtier than it is. It will only backfire on you.
Shadowlance23: I have to believe this a joke because I can't believe someone would be that stupid.
rip1980: Awww come on, he got an A+ on his blood test.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1657177988 | 1657211032 | t3_vtckq3 | t5_2to41 | 11 | anonymoushornyidiot: TIFU by getting blackmailed because I was too horny.
Based on the title, I you know where this is going.
I (18M) was on Instagram a few nights ago when I got this friend request from a girl- (19F), I didn’t know. Lets call this girl A. However, since we were only mutuals, I said fuck it and decided to add her. So A slides in my dms and we small talk for a bit like what colleges we are going to and whatnot. I somehow conversation drier then the sahara desert and things were obviously awkward. She mentioned that she was watching 50 Shades of Gray and was surprised that it showed an “intense sex scene.” Look, I never watched it but its probably as vanilla as it gets. I then told her that they have to “show the love somehow” and A responded with “I guess its better if we change our topic. It will turn me on if we continue talk about sexy stuff lmao”
Huge red flag. How tf is that sexy stuff and how is 50 Shades of Gray turning you on????? Plus we only texted for like only 10 min. Alarms should be blaring right now. Why are you even bringing up “sexy stuff”
Anyways, I was trying to change the subject and she really liked the sexy stuff topic. I somehow through the grace of god somehow got turned on and agreed to have e-sex on discord for god knows why. She made me promise multiple times to “keep it a secret” and to “not record this.” Looking back, its a huge red flag because in call she just showed her tits while I have to do all of this shuffling around trying getting comfortable so I can show my entire body and my hands so I can assure her I didn’t record anything. I couldn’t even get off because my position was so uncomfortable. After everything was said and done she got out to “get lubricant” but she got back and said that she recorded everything and demanded me to give $5K to her or else she would reveal my nudes. After her seeing through my bullshit, she threatened my that she would “ruin my life.”Fuck. I then recorded me way too happily telling my friends to to open any dm sent by A and that I would delete my Instagram account asap. I just wanted to cope with the situation I gotten myself into. Knowing that I couldn’t do much, I just decided not to pursue potential charges. Quickly looking back, it was so obvious that she was trying to blackmail me for money.
A few hours later, we found out that A’s account just deactivated and she did not send anyone my nude videos. Although I believe I got out of this really lightly, I will always be clowned on by my friends until we grow old and senile.
TLDR:
Met this girl and got horny for no reason and decided to have e-sex with each other. She recorded me and my 2 inch flaccid dick of glory without me knowing and threatened to release them unless if I give $5k for her grandmas surgery or whatever. The e-sex was horrible and masturbation is so much better. I am not talking to a lawyer since I don’t want to escalate this further. My friends are clowning on me, and will until we get old and senile.
**ALSO IT SHOULD BE COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO NOT GET FUCKING NAKED ON CAMERA IN FRONT OF A PERSON YOU DON’T KNOW**
UraraBowa: The mandatory catfish blackmail TIFU post.
johndeerdrew: Are we playing tifu bingo? Cause this should just be the center square
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1657178959 | 1657269681 | t3_vtct51 | t5_2to41 | 120 | ExistingDoughnut7265: TIFU by telling my boyfriend to stop eating
He's spending some days at my place for the first time, and we are having fun.
I live with my dad and two sisters, the only income at home is what my dad brings. The problem is that we don't have much money at home, and he does. I mean, that's not a problem itself, the problem is that he acts like he would act at his home.
I love the fact that he feels comfortable, but he didn't show empathy knowing our situation. He takes long showers, and eats everything he sees without even asking. That gets me on my nerves because he already ate what we had for all the week (without even asking if I wanted some, he would wake up at night and go eat whatever).
He's way bigger than me (I'm skinny af) so I understand he eats more. That's why I didn't eat today (told him I wasn't hungry, even though I'm on my period and I'm starving) so he could have the whole meal for him. But that wasn't enough and went for the fridge to pick up some more food.
I told him he shouldn't eat more, he ate enough and we don't have much else. But his response was "you can buy more" while he kept looking for something to eat. That got me on my nerves, I just wanted him to think about the money, we don't have much but we were making as much as possible for him to stay a few days in here.
I told him "please, stop eating everything, we don't have much and we all need to eat". He got mad because he never told me to stop eating at his home (first of all, I never ate without his permission. Also I could never eat a lot at someone else's home because I'm aware of how much food cost and I don't want anyone to spend money on me) and I felt bad for telling him to stop eating if he was hungry, but we are in different situations. They are all big people at his house, they eat 5 times what I would eat, so what I eat is nothing compared to them.
He's not talking to me now, and refuses to eat because he says he's "fat".
I feel like shit for not being able to please him and for making him feel "fat". That was never my intention, I don't care about his shape, I care about my dad's money...
TL;DR I told my boyfriend to stop eating because we don't have money to buy much food. He got mad and thought I called him fat. Now he refuses to eat.
Unit-en-Unit: This does not sound like a fuck up on your part. He seems very inconsiderate to your situation, but maybe try telling him that what you said was not an insult to his physique but just a way to let him know money is tight and you cannot just go and “buy more”.
ExistingDoughnut7265: I really tried, I love the way he looks and I'm in love. I told him it's all about money, not about him, but still won't believe me because he says we don't look poor. I don't know how "poor" is a look. And we are not really poor, our budget is just limited.
He just won't understand because luckily he has never been in this situation. I just wish he understood that it's not about him!!!
OMGoblin: He's either stupid or doesn't respect you.
​
It's not hard to understand and empathize, especially with someone you care about. Many dudes are OVERLY so when it comes to women and yet he's just like "meh, whatever, buy more you look fine", so shitty.
Connlagh: I'm guessing the guy didn't realise money was an issue because no one told him until OP finally did.
Also sounds like the guy is probably sensitive about his weight.
No great mystery and definitely no ill intentions behind the man eating food
ExistingDoughnut7265: He knew money was a problem because I always complain about it, I also told him he should hurry when taking a shower.
It's just he didn't believe it was an actual issue and I wasn't exaggerating.
About his weight, I never thought he was so sensitive because he is always making jokes of himself, and hates it when I don't admit he's overweight. Of course from now on I'll take care of my words, I don't want to hurt him, I just thought he wouldn't think it was about his weight (it's not, obviously) but about money.
I don't think he did anything on purpose, maybe a bad day for him. I just wanted him to listen and understand me:(
Connlagh: >He knew money was a problem because I always complain about it
Sorry, I meant he didn't know it was a problem in life in general, not specifically that it was a problem for you and yours.
I just think it's an insecure kid that was raised with money and was never taught its value.
Some are forced to mature faster than others due to the hand life has dealt them. It seems it was that way for you. So I think you're just gonna have to hope he grows up a bit.
Maybe ask him if he'd be willing to try spending no more than a certain amount a week for a few weeks? If he says yes then it shows he cares for you, and at the very least he'll learn that money isn't always an option.
Hope it works out for ya, luv.
ExistingDoughnut7265: It took him long to understand that I didn't want to call him fat, and I love him no matters what. He understands now I didn't want to hurt him.
Anyways he doesn't seem so happy or comfortable anymore and that fucks me up...
I hope it's just a bad week for him, because I don't want our relationship to break because of the money. I'll never be ashamed of my economical situation, my life is like it is, and I'm ok with it, but I would be actually mad if everything breaks up for this stupid thing.
I love him and I know I did nothing wrong, hope he sees that and accepts me no matters what. Thank you so much for the advice and for the time you spent on me!! You deserve the best, luv!!
Connlagh: Hah! I'm not sure if I've been called luv before! I like it.
I doubt it will be much of a problem going forward. If he's never had to worry about money then he isn't going to understand overnight. You guys are really young yet so just enjoy what's good. If you are still together someway down the line and you get your own place, paying bills will make him realise that money needs to be spent smart.
All the best, cailín. (That's girl in Irish if you're wondering)
ExistingDoughnut7265: Well, it's a problem because he told me this morning that he doesn't feel welcome here. Like we don't like him.
Well, about my father, he might not want him here because I'm his little girl and doesn't want me to get hurt. As he always says "I know how boys are, take care and don't give your body so easily". And I understand him. But he just wants me to be happy, and he knows this makes me happy.
For me he's more than welcome, this could be his second house if he wanted to. I hope we can make it together until we live our lives together but I just know he will leave me after he comes back home. Intuition, it never fails.
Anyways, if it all broke up for this, I'll just know this wasn't mean to be. At least I had fun and really enjoyed his company.
Btw I didn't know you used accent mark in irish (sorry for the ignorance), that's cool!!
All the best, chaval!! (boy in spanish)
| 10 | 12 | |
1657178953 | 1657300044 | t3_vtct32 | t5_2to41 | 6,737 | One-Comfortable-5328: TIFU by forgetting I almost exclusively read NSFW books during a job interview
This happened a week ago.
April 2020 I was home bored out of my mind. The area where I live had completely shutdown for over a month at that point, I was laid off from work, school finished about 4 weeks early, and I lived alone in a studio apartment with enough space for only a bedroom set up (bed and dresser).
Although binging on tv was good for the first few weeks, after catching up on all my shows everything on tv just fricking sucked. Well, it was at this point that I decided to try out reading.. again..
I had always been terrible at picking books in the past. More often than not I’d select a book I couldn’t finish because it just wasn’t my cup of tea, so I’d be stuck with yet another book that became a waste of my time.
I had just finished rewatching fifty shades and thought it would be a good idea to start reading the books with movie adaptations that I enjoyed. And this dear readers, is how I opened Pandora’s box.
It’s been 2yrs and I’m still going strong. I recently finished a book that crushed me, and I’m still recovering from the ending before moving onto the next.
Well.. Last Thursday I had a job interview. I was super excited because I just graduated college and I desperately want to go back into the workforce because I can’t stand being idle for too long.
I thought the interview was getting on swimmingly. Jokes were shared, semi personal conversations were had, overall one of the best interviews I’ve had since I started job hunting until they asked what I did in my free time.
I admittedly didn’t think my answer through. I just answered honestly about my hobbies (baking, sketching,reading). The interviewer asked what I was currently reading and I opened up about how attached I get to characters in books and shows and how heartbroken I was about a book I had just completed so I had pressed pause on the books for now.
Which book, he asked.. Pet, and the word vomit didn’t end there. I went into detail on how I almost took a break on another book because I could foresee how it would end and just blurted out the name only to realize my mistake, because 2 days before that I had given my dad the name of the same book only to send a panicked message after our call begging him not to read it.
For those unfamiliar with these books, just imagine some of the smuttiest books you’ve read, multiplied by.. something. One of them
makes the smut scenes in fifty shades seen like a beginners introduction to bdsm…
At this point I’m contemplating life. Do I kindly request he doesn’t look into the books which he’s just said have peeked his interest because he hasn’t heard of them, or do I ignore it, cross my fingers and pray to the universe he doesn’t actually care. I chose the latter and became very careful with my words thereafter.
I didn’t get the job..
Tl,dr; I forgot that not all the books I read are suitable for the professional environment and gave the names of two smut filled books to the hiring manager during a job interview.
braineatingalien: I completely understand. I read lots of NSFW reverse harem books. I like them so much, I wrote one during the pandemic and it got published a few months ago. I’m a teacher in my other career, so I keep these things separate, but lots of people who know me were surprised, to say the least, lol.
symbologythere: TIL “reverse harem” is a thing. Congrats on getting your book published.
braineatingalien: Oh yes. Very popular. And thanks!
symbologythere: I always thought A) the idea of a Harem was the sexiest thing in the world and B) women would not understand the appeal. Glad to know (at least some of you) are just as twisted and randy as I am. :)
DevilFox2206: Why did you think women wouldn't want to bang multiple people??
symbologythere: Well when you put it like that…but it’s really more like the idea that I can bang all these women and they can only bang me. I didn’t think the same thing would be appealing to women, or at least that they wouldn’t admit to it and call my fantasy selfish or male chauvinism.
Edit; and I wouldn’t think it would be such a popular fantasy as to support a whole industry of books about it.
Xharifyra: There are a lot of women who share the same fantasy. Sexuality really isn't as gendered as society seems to think - if men fantasise about it, women & non-binary people do, too. :)
symbologythere: I’m sure there’s a lot of crossover but I think there’s a lot of differences.
Xharifyra: Nah, we fantasise the same, homes. Sexuality has nothing to do with gender.
symbologythere: I’m gonna go ahead and disagree with you there Sally.
Xharifyra: A little research will enlighten you then, bud. :) Google Scholar is great for that kind of thing. Happy learning!
symbologythere: Literally the first result in Google Scholar says any difference between men and women’s fantasies were in “Kind” not in “amount” of fantasies. We fantasize just as much but about different things. There are difference between men and women and observing those differences does not make someone a bigot.
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C44&q=sexual+fantasizing+in+males&oq=sexual+fanta#d=gs_qabs&t=1657299903691&u=%23p%3DWuZU4uZ2EDYJ
| 13 | 518.230769 | |
1657182950 | 1657195170 | t3_vtdrra | t5_2to41 | 169 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching my neighbors fight while I was eating popcorn.
[deleted]
Annoying_Anomaly: swear there was this exact tifu a while back lol
IBJON: [There was.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ddxnub/tifu_by_watching_my_neighbours_fight_while_i_was/)
BobaBelly: Oof, OP got discovered hella quick. How embarrassing (for OP, that is).
IBJON: It's not a tifu about sex, so it stands out
| 5 | 33.8 | |
1657185932 | 1657221051 | t3_vtehup | t5_2to41 | 126 | drunken-black-sheep: TIFU because my inattentive ADHD kicked in and now I can’t get the dead body smell out of my car.
This all started last week. I was out running some errands when a friend called me for help with something. I dropped everything I was doing and went straight to her place. It was pretty late by the time we were done, and I had pulled an all nighter the night before so I was exhausted. I drove home and went straight to bed.
*What I completely forgot, was that while I was running errands I stopped by the pet store and grabbed a frozen dinner for Benedict, my Ball Python. It was a pretty good sized rat.*
My car sat in the sun for two days like a rat slow cooker before I used it again. It’s in the 90’s where I’m at and my windows aren’t tinted. When I finally did go out to my car, I could smell it from outside before I even opened it up. I opened the door and at that moment, I realized I really fucked up.
The smell is horrible, and VERY strong. For reference: I took my purse out, unzipped it and let it air out, took my wallet out of my purse, unzipped that, took my cards out of the sleeves in the wallet, then put them in my pocket. My cards smelled bad enough to make the smell stick to my hands days after they were removed.
I didn’t even know where to start. I needed to dispose of the (now) rat soup, but I didn’t know what to do with it. Luckily, it was in a completely sealed bag. (Which is fucking astounding to me because you wouldn’t think something in a completely sealed plastic bag could reek like this.) I quadrupled trash bagged it and set it near the outside of the house until trash day.
Next, I needed to air out the car. Here’s the thing, we live in a subdivision and the houses are all really close. I was scared to expose the neighbors to the smell. I felt like at that point, it could have been considered a form of assault. Even if I opened the windows and drove away, it would stink up the whole damn neighborhood. But there was no way I was driving ANYWHERE with the windows closed. If I did, I would 100% have to figure out how to get the dead body AND the vomit smell out of my car. So I waited until nobody was around and opened all the doors. Luckily it was breezy.
Somewhere in my neighborhood, there is a kind person who was an unsuspecting victim to the stink assault. I left all the doors open and went back inside for a while. I guess they noticed I left my car open and it was looking like it was about to rain, so someone came and closed all my doors for me. I hope they’re okay.
It started raining and I couldn’t air it out, so the next day I took it for an hour ride around town. Windows down, sunroof open, AC and music full blast. Then I stocked up on supplies for cleaning. To start, I dumped four pounds of baking soda into the carpets and onto every soft surface. I closed it up and cracked the door enough for my hand to fit inside, then emptied and entire can of Ozium into the cabin. Completely fogged it. Closed it up and let it sit for 2 days.
Today, I vacuumed the baking soda out. I threw away my floor mats(it was time anyway.) It still REEKS. So now it’s time to deep clean and detail.
I bought this car as a cheap “probably won’t last long, I’m going to abuse it” kind of car. To my surprise it’s the most loyal car I’ve ever had. 2004 Avalon XLS, about 225k miles. It’s had at least 100 different drunk marines hauled in it, my sandy wet dog after the beach, and plenty of French fries dropped into places I couldn’t reach. So it needs a good head to toe detail. She can’t die like this. I’m going nuclear. I’ve ripped out the entire interior: plastic panels, seatbelts, carpet, seats, center console, door panels, everything. I’m going to spray everything with vinegar and scrub it down. I’ve gotten it to where I can reach into the air vents so I can clean inside of them. (New air filter too!) Going to steam clean the headliner and pressure wash the carpets. I found someone with an ozone generator. So once I put it all back together I’m going to run that for a day.
If you guys see a girl driving an 04 Avalon off a cliff on the news in the near future and my Reddit goes inactive, just know that it didn’t work.
TL;DR I left my snakes dinner cooking in my car for two days and it’s not okay.
cyantoner: An ozone generator might work for this problem
drunken-black-sheep: Mentioned towards the end, I have one lined up.
cyantoner: Well I clearly didn't read the whole thing lol. Good luck
drunken-black-sheep: Thanks! I need it for sure
FlyingFox32: Be EXTREMELY careful with these. If my memory serves correctly (I watched a furniture restoration video which included extracting cigarette smoke odor in a dresser using an ozone generator), don't get anywhere near them while, or for several hours, after using them. Air out the vehicle THOROUGHLY. Follow any directions that are on the instruction manual. They're simple and won't kill you if you do it right.
I'm sure you know this, since obviously you're looking into it, but they're no joke! Just wanted to add. Stay safe! :)
| 6 | 21 | |
1657186099 | 1657243602 | t3_vteja5 | t5_2to41 | 26 | p1tch-dark__: TIFU by sleeping in the bathtub
(TW: Breif discusions on sexual content) I, 15M, enjoy daily baths after a long day of summer workouts/activities unlike other boys my age. Also unlike other teens, I am Asexual. (Skip to next paragraph to for the FU or if you know what it is) I find it rare to find sexual attractions. This means I don't feel addicted to or desire things such as pornography, masturbation, and other hormonal phases teens go through. I can still fall in love, but don't see someone and think "ooh I wanna do it with then."
Do my parents think this is valid? Fuck no. Now I took a shower as normal, but was so out of it I fell asleep midway (I was really out of it). I woke up to loud bangs on my door, and realized I had dozed off. I got up, put on a towel and opened the door. I saw my dad. He asked what I was doing for so long and I said I was showing. He didn't buy it (understandably, it was over 2 hours) and looked at the excessive amounts of shampoo sitting in the bottom of the tub thought it was ANOTHER SUBSTANCE. It didn't bubble up but instead just sat there in the bottom of the tub. He asked why I was "playing with myself." I told him the story but he saw it as an excuse. He then let me finish drying/changing and we had THE TALK. He stated that while all teens go through it, I need "to learn to respect the bodies of others" and how "by watching that stuff, im being disrepectful and filling my mind with false extectations." (I already knew the effect of pornography on teens) .Then, I used my asexuality as a confirmation that I would never. My parents like to forget I'm ace. That's when he got mad and told me to "stop making things up." I then was accused and in trouble for "lying." I'm so glad he didn't tell anyone, and now, the subject is completely forgotten. It still haunts me though.
TL;DR: My tired and asexual ass accidentally slept in a bathtub for two hours, which mixed with the shampoo everyone, had me accused of false masturbation when my father saw.
JP_Jeep18: Wait but I thought asexual meant able to reproduce without a parter
MassGaydiation: Different context, different meaning
p1tch-dark__: You're thinking of asexual reproduction
MassGaydiation: I'm not thinking of either tbh, but the person I was replying to was thinking of asexual reproduction
p1tch-dark__: Accidentally replied to you instead of the person but yeah what you said was true
MassGaydiation: No worries, it happens.
Hope your day is going a bit better!
| 7 | 3.714286 | |
1657182951 | 1657204299 | t3_vtdrrc | t5_2to41 | 24 | NateBushbaby: TIFU by getting a glass of water at 2 AM
I just turned 16 on the 6th, had a long day of fun and rode a new bike for about 2 miles before it got dark. At 1AM, I took a hot shower to unwind and relieve sore muscles before they start, and because I smelled as if someone took a dump In my pubescent armpits and left it out for a week. My skin was all pruny and soft due to the hot water. I decided to get some water before going back to bed, and that’s the start of my frickup (don’t like typing profanity, idk why). When I got a plastic cup, a glass tumbler got a little bit too on-the-nose and tumbled out of the cupboard, landed on my thumb, bounced off the counter and shattered ALL OVER MY LEFT FOOT! I yelled out, waking up my twin’s friend and mine who were staying the night, as well as my mom who came running over seeing blood EVERYWHERE. My dog even tried to lick it up. Don’t worry, he didn’t, but I almost had to go to the ER, as the glass barely was able to get flushed out when I tried. I don’t want it in my foot, I don’t want stitches (trypanophobia) and I sure as hell didn’t want a gigantic bill. I lucked out, but I’m in bed typing this as it still hurts, a lot. FML.
Tl;DR: almost got sent to the ER because I got a cup out of the cupboard in the dark. Trouble is afoot
GeekChick85: When I was three I had to get stitches. I lost my shit. Tore my moms shirt off the moment I saw scissors. They had to strap me down and pin my head down. I remember it vividly. I have only had to be sewn up a few times, but the worst was staples. I hope I never need staples ever again.
NateBushbaby: Oh god… now I feel even more lucky. STAPLES?!?
| 3 | 8 | |
1657190889 | 1657493051 | t3_vtfrhk | t5_2to41 | 9 | Parttime-Princess: TIFU by moving my head
This happened 2 hours ago actually, I am typing this on mobile and English is my second language.
So I was waking up, looking around a bit. My partner tried to get me out of bed for breakfast as he had been awake for some time already. I moved my head a bit to the side, and all of a sudden I hear a wet noise from inside my neck, immediately followed by a lot of pain in my neck and shoulder.
I tried moving my neck, pain. Tried moving my shoulder, pain. It hurted so bad. My boyfriend panicked, asking me if I was okay. Yes darling, my held back screams of pain certainly tell you I'm okay. He grabbed something cold from the freezer, which ended up being icecubes in a small plastuc bag. In the end I told him to grab the cooling element from the freezer, that seemed better.
Spend the next 2 hours in pain every time I moved, but it's slowly getting better. Very slowly tough. My shoulder is much better now, my neck is still hurting when moving most of the time.
Did I already mention we are living on our own for not even 2 weeks for the first time?? We've been told to contact a GP if the pain in my neck doesn't go away in 2 to 4 weeks. Yay.
TL;DR: I moved my head wrong, now my neck hurts with every movement.
ImAnActionBirb: It’s just a muscle spasm. Work on relaxing your muscles, take some ibuprofen to help with pain and swelling, and consider professional massages in the future to prevent this from happening again.
Parttime-Princess: Is that supposed to hurt so bad?? Could barely stand up for over an hour. Just making lunch is already difficult and painful
ImAnActionBirb: Yes. With one of my neck spasms, I couldn’t walk or sleep for a week. It was horrific.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1657191641 | 1657192672 | t3_vtfz1d | t5_2to41 | 5 | SameWinner6745: Tifu taking my dog to the beach
Back story my gf of 3 years has a 5 year old son I’ve been wanting to take camping.
I’m not an inexperienced camper but we live by the beach so we’ve been trying it out trying to figure it out before we took a trip to some state parks
I’ve taken her son once & my dog once.
Today was the day we went as a family
My gf and son were asleep in the tent I was in a chair by the fire and about 10 feet away from and behind me my dog had been sleeping.
I heard a few faint whines. Listened.. heard it again but more distinct got up to check and my dog was on his side stuck in pain. Looking at my whining.
This is a 90 pound, tough dog. So I’m instantly concerned.
I looked him over and saw two very swollen punctures on his leg. There was a drop of blood on the sand immediately under his leg so I instantly assumed it had to be a snake and that is must of just happened.
It was 2am so we rushed him to an emergency vet.
Gfs upset “told ya” moment.
I’m just worried about my dog.
Glad it wasn’t one of us. But really hoping my dude pulls through
He’s a healthy 9 year old pit and we didn’t waste any time but
TL;DR today I fucked up by taking my dog camping at the beach where he was bitten by a snake.
jbarrybonds: I mean, it may sound callous but better the dog than the kid and I'm glad both survived! What were you supposed to do, go camping and put your dog in a kennel? I think you're lucky you caught it in time and your gf has to realize when you go camping the likeliness of being bit by something is going to be high, with or without the dog.
SameWinner6745: That’s not calloused.
They were safe in a tent about 18 inches of the ground on an air-mattress him and I were sleeping by the fire. He was fairly close to the dunes and had found a shed skin earlier.
I feel pretty stupid in hindsight for not realizing snakes are shedding during these hot months and will bite anything.
And even more so for brushing off the shed skin he was eating.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657192855 | 1657279828 | t3_vtgb53 | t5_2to41 | 16 | Godzillian123: TIFU by blasting a worker at a special needs facility
I am an IT servicedesk technician. Company I work in is a managed service provider meaning we provide it services to many different companies, one of which is a facility that is based around helping special needs people.
One of the things we are doing is rolling multifactor authentication to these companies to help with security. Enabling 2FA is not the simplest of tasks and can be quite easy to fuck up if you are not technologically switched on.
Our company directed said facility workers to call us to help them set up the 2FA. Some of these workers are on the spectrum.
After a few very frustrating phone calls I was on the edge. Then I get another call and this employee is having difficulty downloading the app. It is as simple as going to the app store and installing it.
I lose my cool and put myself on mute and start raging. I say some very unacceptable things about the employee and about special needs people. I hear the phone click and realise the possibility that the phone system we use possibly can pickup audio not just from the headset.
Later on I get a meeting with my employer who informs me the employee heard everything and complained to their manager and rightfully so. I get a written warning and I spend the rest of the day feeling like the biggest sack of shit in the world.
TL;DR: I lost my cool at a possibly special needs employee over IT related difficulties and am a gigantic sack of shit.
Please indulge me and let me have the worst insults you have.
Senior_Accident2278: F
Psi_Boy: F
UraraBowa: F
Seolfer_wulf: F
| 5 | 3.2 | |
1657193616 | 1657207447 | t3_vtgirk | t5_2to41 | 3,197 | hannahspammer: TIFU by not telling my mom she went on a date with my ex-boyfriend
[removed]
twotall88: I'm going to guess that you're 16.
twotall88: LMFAO, just went to your profile... Dead on.
NostradaMart: so....that's called pedophilia, right ? a 25 banging a 16 y/o.....
LorryToTheFace: She said he told her mom he was 25. Looking down her history it appears he's actually 18. 18 and 16 is not great, but much better than 25 and 16.
NostradaMart: 18 and 16 might be illegal depending on where you live but yeah...2 years is an ok age difference.
LorryToTheFace: Really a 16 year old should not be on Tinder.
cbeiser: Tinder shouldn't exist
rob_inn_hood: Excuse me? Do you know if a better way to spread STDs faster and further distance romance and sex? I think not. How else are people supposed to hook up for sexy time. Actually talking in person?
TulkasRouser: You guys seem to have a really weird idea of how tinder actually works. Lol
deegallant: Ya not gonna lie, tinder has done myself and a few friends favours in helping us find our significant others lmao. I guess it depends on who you are/what you want out of it/how you use the app.
TulkasRouser: Yeah no one is forced or tricked into casual sex because of Tinder. Lol.
The biggest “evil” thing it did from puritans perspective realistically is made it easier for people to date more people without having to try nearly as hard.
And a lot of those people *want* casual sex so they’ll have sex and let an otherwise not great connection fizzle out.
Honestly Tinder and similar online platforms at least give you details and interests about a person rather than only hoping to be introduced to an interesting person or hit on attractive strangers… which is ironically more shallow.
| 12 | 266.416667 | |
1657194016 | 1657197969 | t3_vtgmts | t5_2to41 | 3 | Happ1ness_Noises: TIFU by being to loud with my girlfriend.
[removed]
Rodnas1992: Fuck those neighbours
Happ1ness_Noises: I know. As if I haven't had issues with them before due to their loud music making my dog bark or their children climbing around my balcony because the door was locked downstairs.
Rover267: They’re just jealous they ain’t getting none. Married with kids definitely put a strain on them😂 If I were you I’d walk in and out of your moms apartment with a smile on my face cause you made the neighbors get upset over some moaning haha don’t feel bad bro
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1657197143 | 1657245227 | t3_vthmh1 | t5_2to41 | 33,887 | Bi-POLher: TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
Edit: so this my biggest post ever and it’s about my wife calling me daddy… lord help me.
Anyways, we talked about it and she was really embarrassed and I told her it just surprised me and I wasn’t prepared. We agreed on sir 😉
w0mbatina: Imagine having sex and trying something new and sexy. You are horny and voulnerable and all. And your partner just up and walks away without a word. Brutal.
Freddit-: Imagine your wife just out of the blue calling you daddy in the middle of sex.
Everyone here seems pretty eager to blame the guy when the gal is the one who said some nasty shit without communicating.
w0mbatina: "nasty shit", cmon man. This is like the tamest shit possible. And yes, ive actually been in a situation like this before, and I didnt just walk away. "Hey, sorry, i dont really like this" works just fine.
Freddit-: It is nasty shit. For the reasons OP mentioned. It's disgusting. Just because it's been normalized doesn't mean it's not disgusting. I'm into nasty stuff but "daddy" talk is just fuckin' gross.
rcknmrty4evr: Why do you think it’s gross?
Objective_Butterfly7: Because you are sexualizing *incest*. Like what the fuck is wrong with you that you want to think of your significant other in the same way you think of your parents?? It’s nasty and wrong and DDLG is a pedos fantasy.
rcknmrty4evr: Ah, it seems you have a pretty big misunderstanding of the whole daddy thing is all. It’s not about an incest kink, it’s a dominant/submissive kink. “Daddy” is just a dom term, same as “master” and “sir”. There’s absolutely no connection being made between your significant other and your parents/children when using terms like that, even daddy. It also isn’t necessarily the same as DDLG; that’s a separate kink generally (with obvious overlap).
Also, I’m pretty sure a pedos fantasy is.. ya know, children. Not consenting adults role playing where no one is harmed.
Objective_Butterfly7: I get calling people sir or master or mistress or whatever, but daddy/mommy is already taken. It’s a name for parents. You are bringing thoughts of your parents into the bedroom. That’s fucked up and gross. I mean, you do you. If you find someone who is cool with that, more power to you. But I think it’s nasty and it puts a bad taste in my mouth and I would absolutely hop right off someone’s dick and walk out if they tried it.
rcknmrty4evr: Eh, I disagree. When it comes to safe, consensual sex nothing is “already taken”. As you said, you do you though.
minorkeyed: Lol yes it is. The damn word is already strongly associated with something else. In that sense, it's taken.
rcknmrty4evr: Agree to disagree. Consenting adults is all that matters.
minorkeyed: It isn't all that matters, except perhaps to you. If that's what you think then you have a very narrow perspective on the topic. The rest of us will the conversation without you.
rcknmrty4evr: That’s fine. You’re certainly not going to change what I do with my consenting significant other in our bedroom and I won’t be changing what you do with yours, so enjoy the convo :).
minorkeyed: That...wasn't even the point being addressed. But given your responses I can understand if you have trouble following a conversation.
rcknmrty4evr: I hope you find someone to have this argument you seemingly deeply desire to have! Good luck!
minorkeyed: Do you often dance away from topics once you start to consider you might be wrong?
rcknmrty4evr: Lol wrong about what..? We clearly have different views and opinions on this (a point that flew right over your head that I previously mentioned) and aren’t going to change minds. What else is there to say to each other? You’re the one who jumped into a conversation that wasn’t directed towards you in the first place.
minorkeyed: That some words are already taken. That was the point. Adults being consenting or not has absolutely nothing to do with that pint but you switched the topic to it without addressing the first one.
rcknmrty4evr: > some words are already taken
That is a really, really fucking stupid take.
People can call each other whatever they want in bed *as long as it is between two consenting adults*. This is also ignoring the fact that words can have multiple uses in different contexts. It is why women will call their other friends who are women “girlfriends” while their significant other will also call that same woman their girlfriend, why couples call each other “baby” without being actual infants, or even why submissive people call their sexual partners “master” without literally being their slave.. There are many examples to choose from that disprove, or at the very least contradict, this statement.
> Adults being consenting or not has absolutely nothing to do with that
I do find it interesting your insistence on ignoring this very important part of my point, however. And, again, I disagree that this has nothing to do with the topic.
Also, many people have *never* even referred to their own fathers as “daddy” in the first place. I know this may be shocking to you that other people have completely different life experiences than yourself or that you can even imagine.
Now tell me all about how you disagree and why I’m wrong so we can get this over with, I guess. This is a very bizarre hang-up. It is not like you can force other people to perform sexually only in ways you approve of, especially when there are so many other kinks one can think of to have an actual issue or disgust towards, and what people say during sex without you being present has zero impact on you or your life whatsoever.
minorkeyed: > That is a really, really fucking stupid take.
Why? The word already has a meaning. Using them for another purpose, within the culture that already has a widespread use, creates an undeniable relationship between the two meanings. Calling your sexual partner "daddy" and your father "daddy" relates the two and the *desire* to use that specific word, when it already has a meaning, speaks to something about that person and their relationship with he first meaning. Sex is not an isolated part of someone's identity, what a person's sexual preferences are speaks to them as a whole person, not just a sexual one.
"Baby" is the same thing, the choice to use the term for an infant, for your spouse, means something about the person and that relationship.
> submissive people call their sexual partners “master” without literally being their slave
But the choice relates to the concept of slavery in a way that speaks to who they are and their relationship with thier partner. The desires aren't benign parts of identity, they are active and meaningful.
>I do find it interesting your insistence on ignoring this very important part of my point, however. And, again, I disagree that this has nothing to do with the topic.
It doesn't in the context of words already having meanings. I haven't seen you actually explain why it's meaningful in that context and suspect there are things about it you're simply assuming without stating them.
>Also, many people have *never* even referred to their own fathers as “daddy” in the first place. I know this may be shocking to you that other people have completely different life experiences than yourself or that you can even imagine.
It might be shocking to *you* that I'm one of those people.
>It is not like you can force other people to perform sexually only in ways you approve of,
See now I didn't state that or anything like it. So how did you come to this conclusion about me? Why did you assume this and is it misinforming your other thoughts on what I'm saying about this topic?
>what people say during sex without you being present has zero impact on you or your life whatsoever.
Sexuality is part of who we are, how we vote, what ideals we hold, what our morals are, how we act, what we think, what we value and who we value. How does it affect me or you? Because people affect me and you. What they do and think and feel and act affects you and me. Sexuality is not any more benign than religion or who one prays to or whether you support public funds for pride parades or a drag events or laws concerning consent and sexual assault.
Just because *you* don't notice how it affects people doesn't mean it doesn't, it just means you're blind to it.
rcknmrty4evr: > Using them for another purpose, within the culture that already has a widespread use, creates an undeniable relationship between the two meanings.
I disagree.
> “Baby” is the same thing, the choice to use the term for an infant, for your spouse, means something about the person and that relationship.
I disagree. Why does that say something about the relationship and not that it’s normalized in whatever community they live that they’re obviously separate meanings?
Why do you absolutely refuse to accept that the exact same word can have separate meanings, that this is a fact, it is accepted, and is a natural consequence of the evolution of language? Why do you seemingly want it to so badly be something psychological (and a negative one at that)?
The irony of you accusing me of the very same things you’re displaying here yourself is hilarious.
How are you not understanding that we fundamentally disagree and there is little to no point to discussing this between us?
| 22 | 1,540.318182 | |
1657201527 | 1657202331 | t3_vtj2he | t5_2to41 | 121 | Arcadia420: TIFU by being brutally honest with my gf and causing my relationship to end.
Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons, tifu by ruining my relationship.
Let me start of by saying my gf has major social anxiety problems and has met a lot of bad people in her life. She has had terrible ex’s and terrible friends. Before our relationship we had been friends for several years. At some point we liked each other and started dating. It was fine at first but then she started showing me her insecure side. She is extremely insecure. I promised her, I would never leave her and always be by her side. However in yesterdays argument I asked her if it is the same for her, and she responds with “if there’s a better person out there then I’ll go with them until that it’s you” I was shocked and taken aback by this statement. I questioned her heavily and her response was “well Ik for a fact you’d do the same” I assured her I wouldn’t do that but she wouldn’t change her stance. Then the argument kept getting worse and worse and she brought up stuff from my past calling me a liar and dishonest and a disloyal person. She then proceeded to break up with me on her own accord and act childish when I tried repairing the situation. After this I kept texting her to calm her down and think about this, but she blocked me on everything. She then unblocked me an hour later and started talking again. She asked me to tell the truth about everything to which I did. In there I admitted that I found a certain celebrity attractive a long time ago and no more. She then got pissed off and heart broken at this fact and kept crying and crying. She said that since I liked this celebrity long time ago, while I still liked her, that I was not loyal. She claimed I would leave her if some attractive girl came up to me and asked me out. Which I responded, that will never be the case and I love her unconditionally. She then said she was gonna pass out and eventually did and went asleep. I was desperate and frantically trying to fix the situation after that and texting her saying I’m sorry and how much I love her every hour after she fell asleep. She just woke up really early in the morning and simply replied with “k” and has fallen asleep again. We don’t live together btw. What do I do, how do I fix this. I still love her but I’m not sure what to do.
TL;DR my gf breaks up with me because I’m too honest and say I once had a crush on a celeb, and because of that I’m not loyal.
UPDATE: I listened to all of you. My Reddit people. You were right. I’ve ended the relationship. Thank you so much for your help and advice and kind words. Hopefully going forward I can find someone better. Thank you guys and girls
Sable_eclipse: Don't waste your time on someone like that, if you think this is bad it's likely just the tip of the iceberg. I have a funny feeling if you were to go radio silent she'd respond more than you blowing up her phone.
Arcadia420: Maybe I’ll try that. But everyone is saying I dodged a bullet. So should I force myself to move on and find someone else?
Sable_eclipse: I personally don't think someone who is toxic like that is worth your time. You don't have to force yourself to move on but being open to new people and experiences would be good for you.
| 4 | 30.25 | |
1657201397 | 1657248044 | t3_vtj0zs | t5_2to41 | 30 | Raven_Elite_: TIFU by closing a suitcase
The action did not happen today, but rather yesterday, but I'm posting here cuz I am only now facing its consequences.
Me and my family are going away for the holidays and we are getting done with all our packing. As my parents were finalizing that everything was there, we kept every suitcase that still needed to be finalized open and the other ones closed. I had no idea about this because I was done packing my stuff and was watching YouTube.
So, I stumble across all these suitcases, some that are open and some that are closed, and I'm super confused. It was like 5 minutes before we had to leave, so I assumed that everything was done (it should have been) and I closed all the suitcases. Everyone assumed someone else had put everything away and so we all put the stuff in the car and left.
The next morning, my mom starts freaking out because she can't find her computer, which she needs to do some work during our trip. Apparently, she was charging her computer before we left to make sure it was fully charged when we arrived at our vacation house. She told my brother to unplug and put it in the suitcase, but he too was wasting time on his phone, and so he forgot to do it until we were just going to leave. As he came to the door, he saw that the suitcases were closed, and so assumed that my mom had just put it away herself. My mom saw the closed suitcase and assumed my brother had put it away and closed the suitcase.
So I arrive to the dining table the next morning and my bro and my mom are having a screaming match about who closed the suitcase because she needs to attend a meeting on her computer. I, like an idiot, admit to closing the suitcases. Now I have two people absolutely livid at me, so I'm hiding out in my room writing this till it all blows over.
TL;DR: Made my Mom think she packed her computer when she didn't; she can't do her work and now she's mad at me and I'm probably not going to have the most fun this vacation
Elizis: I mean you probably shouldn’t have touched anyones suitcase and probably should never touch someone else’s suitcase again. But they probably should’ve double checked just in case and your mom should’ve been the sole person responsible for her own computer. Especially since it was for her job and was important to take. If you want it done right and the way you want it done, you do it yourself. Also why couldn’t she just charged it there? Just sounds like a bunch of lazy people who don’t want to check on a computer.
Raven_Elite_: She did tell my brother to do it. Put her faith in the wrong person ig. There's no reason but convenience to why she charged it at home.
Elizis: If it was really important she should’ve packed it first, but she decided to procrastinate and then make someone else do the job.
| 4 | 7.5 | |
1657202428 | 1657205765 | t3_vtjdlu | t5_2to41 | 22 | Positivesooners84: tifu by letting my friend see my phone.
this was last week, we were in school and i guess it was almost summer so hes a little crazy right now. He doesn’t have his phone on him, he asks to look something up on mine so i give him my phone, instead he puts it on the floor, dials 911 and slides my phone across the gym. when i got there i didnt even put my ear up to the phone i just hung up. then they called me back, i hung up immediately, then i realized that they would do it until i answered, so i did (ill add what happened during the call if someone asks) i finish talking to the operator and he verifies my number. i dont even know if this is a fuck up but i feel like i did nothing and now they have my number verified, anyone know what they do with that? thanks.
(tldr) i let my friend use my phone and he dials 911 and slides it across the gym.
Positivesooners84: he is an asshole yes
JP_Jeep18: What happened during the call
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1657204076 | 1657222221 | t3_vtjyh5 | t5_2to41 | 1,586 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my entire family out of the house for a gas leak at 3am.
[deleted]
tastless_chill_tonic: you might need medical intervention
imMakingA-UnityGame: Yeah I am non ironically considering telling the doc about this event, I have never in my life left let out anywhere near such an ungodly stench.
It didn’t even cross my mind that this smell could’ve came from a human until my son made that comment
turingthecat: I recently swapped from coke to tomato juice, as the amount of coke I was drinking was not healthy, and let’s put it this way, it’s a good job I live alone, as gods gods do my poos stink right now. Also just a little FYI, there is an amount of tomato juice you can drink that turns your shit red
Eggstirmarinate: I am highly curious as to why tomato juice was your go to here?
turingthecat: Well first I tried apple juice, but 4L of that a day (I also drink water, but I drink far to much) will give you massive dia die diahorria, um, loose bowels, and orange juice tends to set off my acid reflux
thermbug: Did you see the apple juice TIFU a little while back?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uejoek/tifu\_by\_downing\_2\_litres\_of\_apple\_juice\_and\_not/
turingthecat: I was on my second day of too much apple juice when I read that, thought to myself ‘well that didn’t happen to me’ and that night and they next day I really paid for my hubourus
| 8 | 198.25 | |
1657204750 | 1657245377 | t3_vtk73f | t5_2to41 | 3,552 | vaughnmetz: TIFU by making my fiancé second guess our relationship.
So some context for all this first. My fiancé makes this joke, "if you end up being gay, I will end us both." She says it only because I'm "pretty" and because I make the typical jokes when around my guy friends.
Next is I've been teaching my self code and am trying my hand at a game (visual novel).
The final thing is that this visual novel is an adult one, only because I saw that a game (Summertime Saga) my friend played brings in $70k+ a month. So since I'm doing all the coding and design/art work myself I have to draw penises. Being .... cut, I don't have a good visual on what an uncut penis looks like and I needed to draw one. So I was looking up references after she left (because she doesn't know what I'm working on) but as you can guess she must have forgotten something and came back and saw my 49" monitor just covered in uncircumcised penises. I dont know how long she was standing there watching me scroll but when I heard a noise through my headphones, I knew I was fucked. She started crying and saying she knew it and then I had to show her the game I was making to convince her I wasn't gay, which wasn't much better. I told her I was only pandering because of how much money the other game makes. As of now wedding is still on but now she thinks I'm a pervert. This all just happened last night, so there will probably be a pretty big fight tonight, wish me luck.
TL ; DR
Fiancé saw so many uncircumcised penises on my giant monitor and now her worst fear is "confirmed" and also thinks I'm a huge perv. Wedding is still on.... for now.
Update: Wow I haven't been on much since the post but thanks for the upvotes. We talked last night and she doesn't actually think I'm gay (just very stressed from new job and some other things) but just has a fear that the relationship would end and that she thinks that would be the most likely scenario. As for the game she thinks it's gross (she is very anti porn etc.) and very unlike me. So it seems I'm going to have to find a different side hustle out of respect for her. Thank you all for the support. And this isn't the best display of it but she is a very kind and great person. Wedding is still on!
ummokiethen: I think you have a lot to talk about… there’s a bigger issue at play… she’s not trusting you bc she’s afraid… there’s a lot of reassuring you have to do…
InSaYnE72: This is pretty much the best response I’ve seen. Trust issues are such a bitch for both parties. Especially when it’s unfounded. It’s shitty to be accused of things or constantly scrutinized but it’s also immense torture to be unable to control spiraling thoughts no matter how crazy or unfounded they are. It was a pretty sobering moment in a rough patch of mine to be describing how irrational my thoughts were about my girlfriend and constant worry and so on only to finish and have my therapist just ask, “so when does she have any time to be doing any of these things or going anywhere?”. At the time my girlfriend was working 13 day work periods with about a day off in between, all 12+ hour shifts. It was like a light switch was flicked on. I was just like, duh. She doesn’t have time it’s just essentially paranoid delusions or self sabotage in a twisted attempt at self perseverance and avoidance of getting hurt. Which in the end isn’t going to save you any pain and in the moment creates pain that doesn’t even need to exist in the first place. The mind and our emotions are a trip.
Spooktato: Not the best answer, because it implies that HE has to reassure her. Where she has to overcome her fears and talk to someone, like you did with your therapist.
InSaYnE72: The process of healing mental illness and growth is not easy. While he doesn’t “need” to reassure her it would go a long way to help in my opinion. It’s one thing that I greatly appreciate about my girlfriend, though she might not be ecstatic to sit down and talk about how I’m feeling when my mental health takes a turn she’s willing to do so and she helps to build me up. Obviously everyone’s situation is different, I try to be cognizant about my feelings and when I start to feel like I’m not quite in control, but some people aren’t able to look inside objectively like that at the beginning. A partner exercising healthy communication and patience is always a good thing IMO.
KhanSphere: Enabling behavior is bad behavior.
InSaYnE72: That’s not enabling.
KhanSphere: Disagreed. Don't humor ridiculous accusations from an adult.
InSaYnE72: Nothing about what I said has anything to do with accusations.
KhanSphere: She's accusing him of faking the basis of their heterosexual relationship because of a reality TV show and friend drama. That's not shitty for both sides, she's being shitty.
InSaYnE72: You didn’t read anything I posted. Good talk though.
| 11 | 322.909091 | |
1657205686 | 1657216569 | t3_vtkixq | t5_2to41 | 31 | jurecoz: TIFU by giving a stranger information on where we are.
I (14m) am currently on vacation with my family in another country. I was chilling on my phone when i suddenly got a phone call from a number i didn't recognise. I don't normaly decline phone calls since i have a lot of friends whose phone numbers i haven't yet saved so i thought it would be one of them. When i picked up the phone i heard the voice of a man (in his late 20s) talking about how we were making a lot of noise. Naturaly because i was confused i told him that we were not home and thats when he suddenly hanged up. When i told my dad about this phone call it hit me like a brick that the guy was checking if we were home probably to rob our place. Thankfuly my grandparents are home so i called them to tell them about the call i got and to be careful from now on. We told them to tell our neighburs to please be careful and to look out for our place in case they see anyone suspicious. I am still freaking out as i am writting this because i dont want any harm to come to my grandparent or for our computers to be stolen while we are on vacation. The thought of our place being robed has ruined the mood for me and i now want to go home as soon as possible. Since we did everything we possibly could and thanks to my grandparents being home i do t think the robbers will do anything but i am still worried. I will do an update in a week or so.
TL DR: I told a random person on the phone our family wasnt home and am now scared a home invader will brak in while we are on vacation
[deleted]: It could have actually been a wrong number. How would a random person know your number to call on the off chance you were gone. You warned everyone. It’s all good now. Let it go and have a great vacation.
ConferenceOk1110: Oh there are plenty of ways where they could get his number from. Hacked websites, hacked phones from friends, compromised Google accounts (they have your contact list, including addresses if someone added those).. You name it
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1657209570 | 1657228541 | t3_vtlykh | t5_2to41 | 5 | spanishhybrid18: TIFU by not going to the agency
[removed]
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: If you’re not getting enough hours to cover all your outgoings how on earth do you “forget” to go to the agency? Are you ok? Is the situation getting to you? If so get yourself some support. It’ll make it easier to address your issues. Best of luck.
spanishhybrid18: I don't know. I just forgot, but contacted them at 4pm and they don't have any jobs going. The situation most likely is getting to me because I want go stay away from my parents.
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: So it’s getting to you to some degree. It sounds like you’ve a good friend there who cares - maybe you could talk to them, it might give you the opportunity to figure out what’s getting in the way of you finding more hours somewhere.
| 4 | 1.25 |
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